James Bonding - Dr. No with Molly Hawkey

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

The Matt's take Molly Hawkey on her first real spin into the Bond world with the first Bond itself, Dr. No. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Matt and, Matt and, James Bonding podcast. Welcome to James Bonding. My name's Matt. My name is also Matt. And occasionally, we like to have someone who isn't as well-versed in the Bond world as, oh, I'll say maybe Matt and I, who ourselves aren't even experts, we're just lovers. But we brought in one of my favorite people, Molly Hockey, to kind of take her through the first ever James Bond movie. Hi, Molly. Hi, how are you guys?

Molly, welcome. If you're going to be a fan, this is the place to start. Doctor, no. I mean, come on. Wow. I mean, it's not representative, really, of a lot of the James Bond franchise because it hadn't yet established a lot of the things that people know and love from a Bond movie or know and hate from a Bond movie.

But it is a good place to start. First of all, how are you doing? What's going on? I'm great. What? Am I great? Because I did just, my car won't start. I know.

I know. That's not normal. Unfortunately, yeah. Did anything happen when you turn the key? Or was it just dead battery? And then, and then as I, each time I tried, that got a little less. Oh, sure. So what do we think?

That's the battery. Well, I'm wondering if this podcast episode itself is cursed because your car wouldn't start. Eunice Gason passed away this early this morning. And I was late because I had a warning on my car and had to get tire filled up. A tire filled up, which is worse, I think, than Eunice Gasing Fest. Oh, my God. I begged to differ with that.

Sylvia trends herself. I know. She dies on the day that we're doing the Dr. No episode. The morning after I watched the movie for the very first time. Oh, my God. I mean, I better not watch any more movies. Exactly. We should stop.

We have to stop. And you can't do the podcast. Any movies ever. Ever. No movies. You watching a movie kills a minor player in that film. What's the other last movie you've seen? I can't think of a movie.

movie I've seen recently. I've been so busy. Yeah. Well, you're busy with something that is amazing and we're talking about too because it kind of relates to Matt's other podcast. We're actually going to talk a little bit about it on this show in terms of James Bond, but your podcast, spermcast, Molly, tell us about it. Okay, well, sperm cast is my quest for a sperm donor. And personally, your own quest for a sperm donor. My own personal quest for a sperm donor. And by the end of it, I'm hoping to inseminate myself. This sounds amazing. Wow. Isn't it?

Yeah. And it's also, so in each episode, I interview potential sperm donors, but I'm also looking for some personal growth. So I'm also cutting away to people that know more stuff about this, like doctors or just my mom or Amanda. It's amazing. It's amazing. Yeah.

Sure, sure. But it's so well produced and so well thought out. Thank you. Such an interesting idea for a podcast. It both, you know, handles it in a lighthearted way, but also a serious way without being overly serious, you know, it's so, it's really refreshing. I think that's representative of my life. Yeah.

I'm like, I have a nice balance of deep darkness and like over the top happy joy. I think it's an effort to try to make people feel comfortable. So. Sure. Yeah. So every time it's bad. I mean, every time I've been to a therapist, they're like, you know, your laughter is a defense mechanism.

I'm like, I know, I know. So if I'm telling somebody something sad, I immediately laugh right after. to make them know that, hey, I'm okay, don't worry about me. But there are worse defense mechanisms to have, certainly, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so that begs the question, which James Bond would be the best sperm domer for you? I'm bringing up a picture of the six official James Bond, okay? And we can give you a basic.

Can I come over to you? Yeah, you can take that mic off. Oh, it won't come under the table. Okay. So. Name them. All right. On the left, well, we'll go in order. Chong Connery, which is.

pretty great last night. What time did you watch it? 8 p.m. The sexy hour of Friday. This prime time. Best time. So he's very Vera, manly,

classically, traditionally male in all terms of misogyny, but maybe that's a learned straight. Are they all pigs? No. Okay. Well. Disagree. Yeah, probably.

Well, Dalton's not terribly. He's the least broken but still broken. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a character trait inherent in James Bond. But he's the first, okay, Connery.

Then second, you've got the one-timer back here, George Lazenby, who is a real, like, what would you, how would you describe him, like, kind of like a, what a douche is today. He's a little bit more of a bro man. I'd call him a drinker. He's like the, he's the Australian equivalent of a Bachelor contestant. Yeah. Oh, I know all about them. Yeah. Oh, that goes under the table.

Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I mean, not to disparage him. His movie's really good, but he's a little bit, he's also the only bond that gets married in the series. Oh, okay. He settles down. He settles down. He's a committed kind of guy.

That's right. Quick question. Yeah. How many episodes was Connery in? I mean, not episodes. He did six. Six. But then he did a seventh unofficial film in the 80s.

Okay. Then comes Roger Moore, who's the most. suave and lighthearted and good-humored and just kind of dapper and campy and a little he's your quintessential one-liner James Bond yeah okay he's the kind of guy that will kill someone and then have a funny quip about it yeah but he's he's the gentlest of them probably yeah he looks pretty handsome yeah I find him handsome too next up is Dalton who was Wait, wait, sorry, how many was Roger Moran? He's seven, he did the most.

Okay, okay. But Daniel Craig, though, he's done less films, has now eclipsed his tenure. So he's been bond longer, but having done less films. But he's not wearing a tie. No, but we'll get to him in a second. Okay. So next up is Dalton. He only did two films, and he's very serious, a little humorless, but also honorable,

respectable, I'd say, dignified. So Dalton only goes by the one name? No, Timothy Dalton. Wouldn't that be great? Dalton as James Bond. Dalton, Dalton, Dalton. And then comes this guy, I forget his name. Pierce Brosman.

I'm a pro. He's kind of a combination between Roger Moore and Conner. He's trying to have it always, and it doesn't quite work. Look, he's, for my money, he's the most bang for your buck. You're going to get someone who's handsome, someone who has the deck stacked against him, as far as scripts are concerned, but he does the best job he can. And quite frankly, some of us don't think it's a great job, but I do. Okay, interesting.

And then you've got Daniel Craig, who is the modern-day blunt instrument. My personal favorite, but I don't know how much dad material he is. You're not... I'm not a fan. I'm not attracted to him in any way whatsoever. Really, I am. Look at him. We are.

Two out of three of us are very attracted to him. Okay, so any questions before you decide? How many did Brosnan do? Oh, four. Not that this affects whether it's his stamina, his longevity. Sure, sure, sure. And Dalton? Life expectancy.

Dalton did two. Partially not his fault. He was going to do a third, but it got into a legal mess. Okay. So I have seen, I know I've definitely seen at least one with Brasnan and Daniel. I can't remember which ones, though. Okay, that's all right. And I didn't like either of them.

So they're off the list. Now, that sneaky guy in the back, what's his name again? This guy, Lays and B? Yeah, he's a commitment kind of guy, you know, with the marriage and all that. That's true, the one film, and he bailed on the franchise. He bailed. It was his choice? Why?

Because he just wanted, he thought the square life of Bond was done. It was time for. counterculture beards and long hair and stuff. Oh, cool. So does he look like that in real life? Like this? No, with beards. Not anymore, but he did. He had a beard and longer. Do you want to see a picture? Oh my gosh, yes.

His name's pretty funny too. George Lazenby. Ooh, I like him. Oh, wow. How tall is he? He's pretty tall. They're all pretty tall. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, okay. So go back to the guys. Okay. And Dalton, he looks like Bill Nye. I could see that. I mean, he's got a bowtie. Bill Nye's a good-looking guy, smart. So I'm assuming they have the same kind of intelligence. Okay, so I'm really, I'm stuck between Connery and Roger Moore.

And I'm going to say because Sean was so piggy last night, and he was so sexy, but also like, God, dude. Take a fucking chill pill. Don't fucking, I don't know. Who's that secretary, Money Penny? Yeah. Ugh, that was gross. He was sitting on her chair. Do they ever have a relationship?

No, though it's hinted at in Skyfall that perhaps. Hmm. Doesn't like, what's her name? The, gosh, the lady with the short, Judy Demch? Oh, yeah. Is she Money Penny at some point? No, she plays M, his boss in later movies. Oh, okay, sorry.

Is money penny in every movie? Mostly. Does she change? She does change. Do they coincide? What do you mean? Do they change bombs and change money pennies at the same time? Usually, yeah.

Interesting. Times change. I guess I'll get to the answer. My answer is going to be Roger Moore, because I haven't seen him yet, but you guys said he's like a little bit more chill with the misogyny. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, in his defense, he at first was not, but I think he, he fought to have the character toned down and be less abusive and such.

So it does sort of fade. You know, I found in fairness to Molly as she chooses her father, the father of her child. I think that the tonedowness was on the violence end of it, and I don't think he ever sort of was going for the tone down of the sexism slash womanizing. Tells you anything, though. Connery actually, I think, was involved in domestic violence. So was Roger Moore, but he was the victim of.

Okay. I like him. Because I didn't want somebody I can throw around. Okay, there it is. I mean, he's going to be in my life from now on, right? Yeah, I think, oh, that's not how sperm knows work. Oh, he also passed away a year. Oh, I guess I'm just looking for a husband then.

Oh, he did? Yeah, on my birthday. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's all right. Okay, so Roger Moore it is. Congratulations. I think you made a wise choice. We're big fans or Roger Moore on that.

Yeah, we think of him as the, as the father we never really wanted. As a husband, though, I know you're not looking for a husband, but as a husband, I think that's a pretty good choice. Well, how do you, how would you feel about, say, moving to a gambling mecca on the south of France to escape taxes? How would you feel about that? I'd be into it.

Yeah, okay. Well, that's what Roger Moore did. Okay. Lived out his life just on the south of the first. friends. That's right. To avoid paying taxes to the British. What's Monte Carlo? What is it? Yeah. Yeah. So Molly, do you have a history with the bond franchise at all? Did you ever see any as a kid? And it's okay if you didn't. Because we like all types. No, the only ones I've seen are the Daniel Craig. Do you remember which one? Casino Royale? Maybe. Skyfall? Is that which one's more recent? Uh, Spector.

What? No. No. Skyfall's more recent than... I think I saw Casino Royale like a while ago. And then Pierce Brasen, I saw at least one. Okay. What were his? Great. All great. Golden Eye. Maybe.

Tomorrow never dies, which was out at the same time as Titanic. I heard of all these things. The world is not enough. Gosh. And die another day. I don't know. It's so weird. Okay, so but Doctor No.

And Doctor No. This is the first James Bond. This is 1962. It's funny. It did kind of look familiar, though, as if maybe I had seen it when I was a kid. But, you know, like this. stuff has been in the cultural zeitgeist for 50 plus years. They often show the clip of him saying Bond James Bond because it's the first time. But as I believe maybe Phil pointed out, it's interesting

to know because Eunice Gason passed away last night that she actually says Trench, Sylvia Trench, and sets the trend for that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's the way that Bond asks the question. Miss. Yes, Trench, Sylvia Trench. Going up on the Mitz. truly behind every man is a great woman, I think, you know, Sylvia Trace. She's a fascinating character because I noticed for the first time last night that she's wearing a wedding ring. Oh, you watched it again? Oh. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We always re-watched. I didn't notice the wedding ring, but I got the vibe of married woman when I first saw her. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, that's interesting. Because she also shows up in the next movie and they're hanging out in a little, yeah, Riverside. Which, by the way, has to establish her as the most. steady girlfriend he ever had.

That's right. To last over two movies. Yeah. That's the only one that crossed both. Yeah, but also like what I like about Sylvia, I really spent a lot of time with Sylvia last night. Weirdly, I didn't know that she died. Wow.

Yeah. I must have put something out into the world. But anyway, she was great. Maybe she did. Maybe she made you guys watch this. Or maybe she felt like. May was the triumvirate of us watching that sent some sort of signal into the universe. She's like I'm finally getting recognized for what I deserve.

Oh my God. I'm ready to pass on. Maybe it was like death that had come to her and said, Eunice, I cannot take you until there are three people watching that movie again. Did we find out how she did? She's 90. I only read the headlines and something was found dead in her home. Like it wasn't in the hospital, you can look at us.

I think when you're 90, I think when you're 90 you're more surprised to be found alive Oh What? 90's nothing. 90's young. 90's the new 85.

Totally. What's that book? This is the James Bond Archives, this book, and I was going to pop it open here with some Sylvia. Get some Sylvia, actually.

It's so, it's the heaviest book there's ever been. Can you guys make this book? Yeah, we put it out under a different name, and we agreed never to see a dime from it. That's just the kind of people we are. Listen to this. Gason said in 2012 that filming the scene had not been as easy as Sean Connery struggled with the line. She said he had to say Bond, James Bond, but he came out

with other permutations like Sean Bond, James Connery, cut, cut, cut. At the instigation of director Terrence Young, Gason took Mr. Connery for a drink and he returned to deliver it perfectly. Sylvia Trench was due to be a recurring character, but the idea was dropped by the director of Goldfinger Guy Hamilton. But while Gason is the only woman to appear as the same Bond Girl in two movies, Sylvia Trench also appears in a clinch with 007 and from Rush With Love. Her voice is not heard in either of them. As with many of the Bond Girls in the 1960s and 1970s, her lines were re-recorded by voiceover artist Nikki Vanderzile. Wow. Doesn't say how she passed away though.

That's, but what I was saying about her, which I found interesting, I was like, she's a, she's a woman, she's out at two o'clock in the morning at this casino, she's got nice lines of credit. She's playing Baccarat. And then, you know, when Bond asked her if she likes to play any other game, she's like into golf. Like she seems to be the female James Bond. It's true. Yeah.

She's the first cheeks. Yeah. And I think the wedding ring, her having the wedding ring really sort of like. Yeah. galvanized that for me. That's an M-Loft for sure. Yeah. And Matt Myra's lookout for this.

And I have a gloft. And you can have an M-Loft too if you have something like that. Molly. M. You could just M-Loft. You can have a Hloft. You can have a Hloft. So what were your first impressions of this film?

Well, my very first, I mean, my very first impressions were cool retro design in the beginning. Yeah, I know, I like that opening title sequence. It's interesting, it seems like there were three opening credits. What's up with that? That's a good question. I think it, my best guess, and maybe I've read this somewhere, I don't know, is they're taking three separate pieces of music and almost doing like an entra act like the way a musical

would. Like here are some of the things you're going to hear throughout the film. That's the Bond theme, the underneath the mango tree and three blind mice. Gotcha. I don't know if that's the case, but. that combined with the kind of like Saul Bass Hitchcockian titles and stuff, feels like it's still of an older era of filmmaking that that would be something that wouldn't be a surprise. Much like a longer movie would have an intermission that would play and you'd go out or something.

I don't know. Yeah, that seems like it might be. I really enjoyed it. This is the first time. I noticed a few things about this film, Matt, Molly. Guys, buckle up. These three blind mice guys, there's no reason for them to be. pretending to be blind for such a long walk.

Like they can get there. And I gotta add to that. Yes. They do this walk for so long, but then when they actually come into contact with the guy that they're going to kill, he puts his cup out pointing it towards the guy. Like he knows the guy's there. Well, you know, it's just, it's...

And it gives it away to the guy. That he would see... It doesn't give it away because he doesn't notice, but... You don't think he could hear him coming? Maybe he had superhearing? Like a dare to. devil situation. Because I was like, they're just blowing it.

They're blowing it. Doesn't it make it all the more sinister that he gives them money and then they kill him? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, that's what, that's what Strangway does. He was always a generous man. By the way, he is living my ideal life. Bridge in the afternoon with either like a tea or a cocktail, just sitting there talking in

the breeze, the Jamaican breeze. How great would that life be? Yeah, that'd be nice. Were they all just on vacation? No, they're all working. working. Quote unquote. Nobody had a Jamaican accent.

I think people were saying, but we're now Jamaican accents. Did Quarle or Postfeller? No, no. No. His accent, I don't know what it was. Yeah, that's true. Quarrel. Quarrel.

Quarrel. You have to say it like Sean Conno. Quarrel. Fetch my shoes. Fetch my shoes. I thought I was like, this is crazy. Yeah. Fetch my shoes.

I do like how Quarle called him captain. I know. And then Mr. Mr. James and Mr. Bond. Molly and Roger Moore, your future sperm donors, your future child's father, in his first film,

he goes back to Jamaica and his guy sending him around is Quarle Jr., Coral's son. Aw. Coral. Yeah. I think it was a mistake to kill Coral. Yeah.

I've said this before. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Poor man. He said this before. He would have been a great, like, every time we're in the Caribbean, which happens very frequently in this film. Yes, that's true.

Film franchise, rather. Do you need headphone help, buddy? Oh, yeah. I mean, I could have done that. I can't even sit back. I just realize we're allowed. He wanted to do it discreetly, so he decided to get up. And then we had to talk about it.

You're the one that brought it up. Go ahead. But back to first thoughts. I mean, if you want to know overall. Absolutely. You know, it's painful to watch such racist and misogynistic things. Yeah. But, you know, fun.

Well, a lot of that coalesced in one moment for me is when he pulled Honey Rider up by the arm and then told Quarrel fetch my shoes. And it was just a whole lot. Like, he managed two of them. When was that? When they're on Crabkey. Yeah, in that, like, river swamp. Which looks, by the way, great. It looks like fun.

Yeah, where, I don't understand what kind of a set that was. that was Jamaica? I think that was outside. Yeah, that was really Jamaica and the mangrove swamps. Oh, we should go. We should. All three of us?

None of our spouses or anything, just the three of us. You know, Matt and I have discussed a casual stay at a golden eye, you know. Talk about that a few years ago. It's super expensive. It's super expensive.

Are there golden eye hotels? I don't understand. A golden eye is Ian Fleming's estate, his little small house that he used to write these novels at and that's what the movie golden i was named after but okay that would have nothing to do with that but you can go to one of these places you can you can you can spend a week there if you'd like i think it's 10 grand for the week but if we're going with but if we're going with it sleeps 13 oh okay so

let's break that down you start to break it up less than a grand a night that's right each total total that's not horrible but then we got to be in that place with 13 people well if we're gonna go for all 13. I'm thinking we could just do like four couples. Yeah, eight people. And you're whoever you decide. Roger Moore. She's bringing Roger Moore. That alone is worth it for me. I mean,

are you kidding? His golden typewriter is still there, Matt. Oh, my God. We can walk by it and type on it. It's in Jamaica. Oh, Jamaica. Sorry. Yeah. Don't you think your listeners are going to hate me? No. No. We like all kinds here. I'm going to be honest.

She's like this annoying girl asking questions at the movie theater. No, you're fine. I mean, I'm not worried. I don't care if they don't like me. I'm just saying. Well, you are, it's possible not to like you. And frankly, we strive to give our listeners a variety of guests as best as possible. And I think we've been lacking in that lately.

So we're happy to have you here. And I think that like the people that are going to get annoyed by that, I'm happy to annoy. Exactly. And we annoy our listeners all the time. And boy, they let us hear about it. Oh, they do. Oh, sure. A lot of Reddit stuff.

I don't even want to know about it. Yeah, I don't either. No, they sometimes come directly to you. But no, that being said, those are the vocal far, far minority. Most all of the listeners are wonderful, supportive things. They will eat you up. They will love you. They will.

Your eventual sperm daughter might be listening. That's right. You guys, if you're out there and you want to donate sperm, we've never met, this would be amazing. I'd really love to hear from you. You should, the very least, listen to her podcast, spermcast and then think, is this something I'm willing to go through with? Yeah, I mean, maybe, you know. What if you meet your child's father from James Bonding? Well, I can't call him father.

You can't? I can't. I don't understand the, I don't know the ins and outs. If he's called father, then their rights are, like any sperm donor contract is nullified. Oh, I see. If they're called, I didn't know. So what do you call it? If the kid knows the guy as his dad or father.

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Then in court, they can know. So ideally you're looking for a stranger anyway. I don't have an ideal at this very moment. This is good. I'm exploring it all. Wow.

Okay. And it will. Where were we? All right. Well, so we're past the, we're at general thoughts. It was fun to watch, but I will say that I got a little sleepy at one point, had to get up and eat some pizza. That sounds good too.

And then get another gin and tonic. You're having gin and tonic too. Oh, we were just talking about it. That's my favorite. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah. And yeah, the writing is weird.

But hey, that's, I mean, that's the team. What do you mean by that? Well, like, like when, what's your face in the swamp? Honey rider. Honey rider. They were doing, they were breathing through the. straw and then and then he kills that random guy and and she's like oh and he's like I had to but he didn't have to I don't know it was just like everything is just so it's just I don't know what do you guys

don't have anything to say about it it seems like people will actually talk like this no no but I chalk it up to it being a action franchise but also over 50 years old or when I watch movies like this there is a sort of dialogue like listen up you follow and yeah things are going to be be different around here, see? You know, and I don't mean just like Edward G. Robinson. Like, I actually wrote a note, too, where this is straight out of Fleming's dialogue. He says, Connery says, all frequencies changed immediately securities broken. So immediately is used in replacement of as soon as.

So all frequencies changed immediately securities broken. And in the Fleming books, he always uses the word directly like that. All frequencies change. directly security's broken. And I found that to be an interesting way to speak. That's like a bygone usage that we don't do anymore. Yes, very bygone. I love that kind of stuff.

I don't even understand what he's trying to say. I'll like say, I want to say, I'm going to come over to your house as soon as I get a lift. So I'm going to come over to your house immediately I get a lift. Yuck. I don't think you'd say I. you'd say I'm going to come over to your house immediately get a lift no because that would that be what you'd say no that's like a no then the other person will be coming to you getting a lift oh well yeah this is no you know what let's not do this in the 60s guys

let's not travel back in time and try to wait for a lift to go to each other's home yeah it's probably just the bad the language back then but also you know shooting on film and and not being able to I don't know just well everything's ADR pretty much too so that's why some of it sounds so stilted and like we've talked about this before but the guy with the bullhorn when they're shooting at him he's yelling at him on the boat you know like get off the island uh-huh he takes his bullhorn down at some point it just continues with the bullhorn sound effect like they didn't even bother all right move along there were so many sound problems yeah in the very beginning when they're playing cards one of them was so quiet i couldn't hear them and everything else was so loud yeah and then there

was another part where Bonn was having a conversation with somebody and they had a completely different sort of tone sound-wise like there was almost an echo on this guy's voice and maybe some one person was 80-yard possibly or something yeah yeah it seems like they either the technology just wasn't there or they didn't care as much about sound maybe both but or the in the theaters it probably didn't play back that much yeah that's true it all sounded sounded Flat, maybe. Yeah. But so does the mythos or like the cultural awareness that you have of James Bond, did it go in line with this film?

Or did you kind of go like, this is not what I expected for an early James Bond film? That's what I expected. I think I've definitely seen little chunks here and there on TV and just not really been attracted to it. Yeah. Well, this is also one that is like very, it's very almost mellow and linear. It's one of the more simple bonds. you say? This is a very warm blanket for me.

As far as the Bond movies go. It's very comfortable. Like it's so, the pacing is like so like, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah,

let's do this scene where she gives him actual directions and we follow him while he's going to her house. Entirely in real time, too, which is interesting.

Like, there isn't a lot of passage of time. Yeah. It's a lot of, as we say, uh, sometimes shoe leather. Yeah.

Where you got to lose the shoe leather. We're like, you don't want to see someone walking from here to here to here. You just want to go from here, cut, go to here. But in this movie, there is a lot of shoe leather. Yeah, you're totally right. We've noted that's the only time you get the James Bond theme in this film is whenever he's walking from one place to another or driving or flying or something. Yeah. Huh.

But we were talking earlier before you got here, Molly, about how both of us liked this one a little more than last time because it's just a simple detective story. And that was refreshing because a lot of the bonds later on become crazy complicated and just ridiculous. And the plot is almost second to arranging all the action set pieces and stuff. So it's like it becomes truly convoluted the further you go down the line of James Bond movies. Oh, maybe not even the further you go. It sort of gets really convoluted the second we go into gold finger. Yeah, Goldfinger. How far down the line is that?

The next film. Oh, no, yeah, sorry. It's the third one. Yeah. And this one is pretty close to the book, too. So the books are relatively simple, and the movies get crazy. Now, the later ones that I might have seen, are those crazy, too? Because I don't remember, okay.

Well, the Brosnan one sure are. Some of the Craig ones are a little more. The plot can get complicated, but they're not, like, fantastical. His opinion about Brosnan is coloring this right now. I'm sorry. You telling me, Brazen and Die Another Day isn't crazy? Dye Another Day is crazy, but Sky Falls the craziest. But it's not crazy in terms of future fantasy science fiction.

I will give you that. The plot's complicated and unbelievable, but Die Another Day has an invisible car and flipping cars and not like cars get flipped, like the cars flip themselves. With the use of an ejector seat after the car is already on its roof, Matt. Even more unbelievable, but I love that film.

I love it. It's a good one. Oh, man, I had a question just now, and I told me, Thorntow Wars. Oh, what is the thing? I think it's maybe, is it the inside of a gun? Yes. Okay.

It's, yeah, the gun barrel itself. So what's interesting, if you really break it down literally, is Bond shoots someone who then somehow manages to bleed inside his own gun. That's a real gun barrel. Did you know that? It's the interior of a real gun barrel. Yeah. Not real blood, though. So what was the thing that you have a picture of in Switzerland?

That is on top of the, um, on top of the, um, uh, on top of the, um, um, um, uh, the, um, um, um, um, um, uh, top of the Shilt Horn Alp, they have a actual tube that's rifled out like a gun barrel, but it's about, it's maybe like two feet in diameter, a foot and a half. And it's kind of like, I don't know, three or four feet long. And so you can take a picture at one end and it looks like you're down a gun barrel. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. All right.

So it doesn't move. That was just in my mind. It was like moving kind of like a... There's a... Oh, it does move. It has a like reflection moving. And some of the later movies really CG that up and stuff. But in one of the Brazden films, the bullet, a CG bullet goes down the gun barrel,

like it shoots a bullet straight at you. Into the gun barrel, which would have caused some sort of hole in the gun that the blood could have gotten in. I guess, but he's still holding that gun pretty steadily. Yeah. This is the first time, I noticed something new every time I watch one of these things. I have never placed it. I always knew Lois Maxwell, who plays Money Benny, was Canadian. although she lived in England,

but she doesn't have a full-on English accent. I always just kind of let it slide as English, but it's not. She's a little Americanized. Have you noticed? You know, I haven't noticed just because in my brain, that's what Moneypenny sounds like. Yeah.

And everyone in the movie's British, as far as I'm concerned. Watch it again. I mean, she's definitely got that, like, transatlantic thing where there are some, like, British pronunciations, but it's not. strong. The idea that the, that MI6 or as M calls it

MI7 is bustling at 3 a.m. like he can get major boothroid in there to give him a new gun. Yeah. And Moneypenny's already there. M's already there. They must have been called in for this. And there's no like I would have liked a little bit like just a couple of mugs of coffee around. Yeah. Like a carafe. You're right. Yeah. Full of coffee. Yeah. Would have just, what a set the scene a little better for me? Would have made it real.

Yeah. Yeah. Molly, what did you think of the style and the art direction and like the look of this film? Oh, I like the look.

Yeah, me too. That's one of my favorite things. Yeah. Yeah, everything looked great. I mean, I love the clothes. Yeah. And then the like, what about like the set design?

Like when that professor has given the tarantula that room with the kind of big ovular great. Oh, yeah, that was cool. And the huge room where they had the last, the ending scene the where the water was boiling or whatever.

That was a, I was just thinking about that set. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. And that is nothing compared to what they end up doing with the same production designer. Like that was just the beginning. Yeah.

Oh, back to the tarantula thing, no. Why? Yeah. I know. Give him a gun. Which wouldn't have worked anyway. From a gun.

No, I was saying give him a gun rather than a tarantula. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Give him a gun. Yeah. But then also like, how do you, I mean, So he puts a tarantula in the room and assumes that it's going to go to the bed. And oh my God, that long scene where he's just looking at the tarantula and just waiting for it to walk off?

Is that? I guess. What did you think of the music when he killed the tarantula? I don't remember. Oh, yeah. Doon, or whatever. It was like in time in time with his banging. That was cool.

Yeah. Did you like the music in general? I did like the music. Yeah. Me too. Underneath the mango tree, it's a catch. tune. Yes.

I think we should bring it back. We'll do a remix. We should do not only an episode on the unused theme songs, but an episode of the secondary music songs from Bond movies. So you've got like three blind mice underneath the mango tree. There's that one from Tomorrow Never Dies, that slow jazz song. Do you know that one? Only Myself to Blame.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually like that song. There's like the Pretenders one. There's the Katie Lang one. There's all these secondary. songs that were only used in the movie or at the end credits. Yeah. Would you be allowed to play those songs in your thing?

We sure are. Well, we might anyway. Who knows? Yeah. If it's academic discussion, you can. Buckle up, everybody. By the end of the year, there are going to be 700,000 podcasts available on Apple podcasts.

And they're never going to catch us. That's how many. That's how many podcasts there are. 700,000 James Bond podcasts? There might be, I think that's 650,000 Game of Thrones recap podcasts. 23,000 Westworld recaps. And all of these are three guys sitting around, right? There are three white guys.

Occasionally joined by a funny friend. And, you know, they're doing this a favor here, Molly. They live probably in the greater Los Angeles area. Right. Right. I may all have opinions on the valley. So let's talk about this Bond James Bond scene where you're first introduced to James Bond.

I was shocked at how handsome he was. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's Sean Connery. I forgot. Because you still think of him as like beard and bald. Is that like your... Handsome guy, well, back in the 90s, what was he in? Like entrapment. And the rock.

The rock was such a great movie. Untouchables, that was the 80s. I did see that. Yeah, I think of him as white hair, white beard. Yeah. No hair? You said he has no hair? He doesn't, but he often has really good wigs or like Hunt for Red October.

He has a wig too. Yeah, just think of him as an older guy. So when I saw him, I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot. And yeah, he was very sexy. He's just very manly or something. Very manly. Can you believe he's 32 in this movie? No.

No. It's too tan to be 32. Well, that smoking and drinking, like, he looks 42 probably. I mean, he looks good, he looks great. Yeah. He's got some good face wrinkleage going on. Yeah. Like a furrowed brow.

Yeah. Got some mouth, some laugh lines. Yeah. Which is odd for a man who doesn't laugh. He does have very deep laugh lines. Yeah. And his mouth, the skin on his face. Just these big guys.

The skin on his face looks very rubbery. It does look a bit like a mask. Yeah. Or it looks thick, right? Oh, yeah. Or like, yeah, like it can stretch it along with? You could stretch it really far if you wanted to. He's got more skin than infrastructure. But still very handsome. He's listening, so we got to tread lightly. No, but I mean, I do mean that he's very handsome. He is very handsome. And when he says Bond James Bond, do you get it all as much of a shiver and a tingle that we get when he does that?

It was pretty exciting. I don't know if I felt any tingles. You didn't even when that music kicked him. No, I'm getting it now. Oh. Well, listen. It hit us all in the right spot. Also, the way he just lights that cigarette. He's at a casino club at two in the morning in London.

What day of the week do you think this is? Oh, guaranteed Wednesday. It's not even a week. This is a guaranteed Wednesday. What did he do that day? in a second. Good question. What does he do on a day off? I think he has days off. I think he goes in. I think he goes in. He's killing all day long? He has an office, right? He has an office at M. I think so. I think he pops over to that. He puts things in the drawer that he can later, when he's falsely retiring. He harasses money, penny.

He does, I mean, we established that James Bond is a man who saves mementos. Why does he need it so bad the sex? He's like, he needs it from every woman he sees. That's interesting. You see it that way because I think historical. Historically, it's always been, it's not that he needs it. It's that it's always coming at him. No. No, I'm not, I'm not saying that, but you don't think. No, I've never thought that. It's presented.

They're always throwing themselves at his feet. I disagree. I think that he's always throwing himself into the situation. Yeah, I know, he's always crafting it. Well, but it's written as a sort of like, there's no woman is ever going to say no to him. You know, it's interesting is like for the first time, again, this is another thing I've noticed for the first time watching Dr. now for God knows. This is like,

might be my 25th viewing of this movie. But, um, even Jack Lord is like, this guy cannot stop

fucking everything. Which guy's that? Felix Lider. The CIA guy with the fancy sunglasses, the lady sunglasses. What part of the movie is he in? He's in a lot of it. He's in a lot of it,

but he's the one that tracks him down at the airport and he's got the like, cat glasses. Hawaii 5-0. What do you think of those glasses? I don't remember them. I just remember him being, looking like a creepo. don't know how you don't remember those glasses.

They're the most memorable thing about the movie. Just how ridiculous those glasses look. I remember the first moment I saw the guy looking down from above. Right. That's when I first saw him. Yeah. So I'm going to open this up just to show Molly the guy we're talking about here, this Jack Lord character.

Now, Jack Lord, do you remember the old 60s television show, Hawaii 50? Yeah, I don't think I, I mean, I'm sure I've seen it. Well, this is... Now, of course, Hawaii 50-0 is back on CBS. Very popular. They shoot it, guess what, in Hawaii. And, oh, my God, is he not... He might not have made the cut of this book somehow.

That's insanity. Blasphemy. This is craziness. But Jack Lord It was so nice to see him in this movie When did he die? When did Jack Lord die? Was it after we watched the movie?

Probably because we watched the movie. I don't remember her. Oh, that's just her. That's just Honey Rider in a publicity photo. Was this movie colored later? No. It's just shot in that kind of... That blood was the least real blood I've ever seen.

In those days, they used to use, like, red paint basically. They're not even animal life. Now, did they have to do that because of the studio code? To make it more like hyper realistic or something? Yeah, maybe. Or I mean, not hyper realistic. You mean, in order to not make the audience too upset?

Yeah. Yeah, like it's heightened. Maybe, I don't know. Or maybe they just like they needed it to pop more or something? I don't know. Well, you know, when you're going to see a film in Technicolor, you just want to be blown away by every color. That's right.

I have a question. Yes. Molly. It might be really dumb. There are no dumb questions. True. Yeah, there are. Come on.

Well, let's see. So, excuse me. Ian Fleming wrote all these? That's the dumbest question. Oh, my God. And then you said Ian Fleming was in this too? No, he's not in it.

Oh, okay, okay. No, he wrote the books. He didn't write the movies. Oh, because when you were, like, quoting him earlier, I thought he was the character that you had. Oh, no. Bond says that, but Fleming would write lines like that. in his book.

Fleming died two years after this. Oh, he just wrote the one? He wrote all the books, but none of the movies. I didn't realize there were books. He did write... I get it now. He did write the... He did write the screenplay to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Oh, I remember that movie. He wrote... Good stuff. Did he write the screenplay or the... Was there a book? Didn't he write the screenplay to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Roald wrote the book and he wrote the screenplay. And they switched it.

That's right. Because then Roldahl wrote the script to You Only Live Twice. Rolled doll wrote a James Bond movie. Wow. This is my favorite line in this movie, and it comes from Quarrel, and he says, Pussfeller, rasseled alligators. Those three words put together. No use in struggling.

Pussfeller, rassled alligators. What was that in reference to? There's a character, the guy who owns that club, the bar, like Jamaican club. His name is Pussfeller. I'm trying to remember in the book, there's. a reason he's called that, like, I think because he killed an octopus in a struggle underwater or something like that. I forget.

Right. Uh, puss feller. That's how he got that name. Oh. Okay. Oh, I get it now. Octopus. Yes.

What did you think of Ursula Andrus as the very first Bond girl? Well, I guess technically Sylvia Trench. And we can call them Bond Woman. Which one are you talking about? She's Honey Child rider, honey rider. Honey, child. Well, that's her name in the book. Oh, right.

Yeah, she was great, very athletic. Did she do all her own stunts? It looked like it. Like when they hop down into the boat at the end, that was both of them, I think. Yeah, and she was a really fast runner. You know, she really came alive when she had to be physically active. Yeah. She's dubbed, too.

It's not her real voice. It's not. No, she had a heavy accent. Because I could not understand where her accent was supposed to from. Yeah. Speaking of that, Ursula Andres is quoted right here as saying they were lucky to have chose me because I was sporty. Otherwise, if I had been a normal, delicate person, I think I wouldn't have survived what they made me do. It does seem like they're like, stunt work wasn't as much a thing back then.

The actors were expected to just kind of do it, you know, do the different things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she was cool. What was she doing out there? Just collecting conch shells? She sells them. Singing that song.

Yeah. She's out there collecting shells and singing a song. Underneath the mango tree, me, honey. She sells the shells in Miami. She sells seashells in Miami. $50. $50. How does she get to Miami?

She take a little, we never saw her boat, did we? I don't think we did. Did she just sneaks onto that island, nobody bothers her, but Bond comes along and ruins her game. That's right, and her dad was killed on that island. Oh, I don't remember that part. Yes, yes. What did you think of the villain, Dr. No? Oh, it's, yeah, it was all right.

It's the longest we ever go without seeing the villain, right? It has to be. It may be. It has to be. Yeah, you're probably right. I'm trying to think. Yeah. We don't see him until the last 30 minutes of the movie.

Silva's a distant runner-up. Yeah, but we see him 30 minutes into the movie. No, not even, not 30. 40? Maybe, yeah. He's, okay, 50 minutes winking at me. I gotta go with him. I can't keep guessing.

This is an interesting quote from me in Fleming regarding the depiction of the Secret Service. Yes. Secret Service should be presented as a tough, modern organization in which men may dress more casually than they do in the FBI. Above all, they should not slap each other on the back or call each other old boy. Meaning that's too casual or that's not casual enough? I think that's FBIi. Chap and old boy.

I had another Ian Fleming question. Please. Isn't Ian Fleming the name of an old English actor too? No. Who's the guy? You're thinking of Ian McKellen. Yeah, I love him. He's dead now.

No, he's still with us. Well, great. Now you just did it. All right, guys. Time to watch Lord of the Rings. He's not dead. Who's the one that died from Harry Potter? Oh,

Alan Rickman? Oh. Oh, Alan Rickman too. No, there was an old man. Richard Harris that played Dumbledore? Yeah, that's not Ian Fleming. No. No, it's not Ian McEllan.

McKellen, no. McKellen? What do you think Ian McClellan? Yeah, is it Ian McClellan? McKellan. Do you think he'd make a good Bond villain? Sure. He'd make an interesting M, too.

He'd make a good everybody. Yeah. He's Ian McAllen. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. I'm really confused about the Ian's. Well, you know, just take them with a grain of salt.

What? I don't know. I want to get back to, I mean, I'm going to take control of your podcast. We'd love it. No, back to Bond being so pushy with the women. Yeah. You didn't think that he was acting super hungry and, like, pushing himself on women that didn't want him. Oh, yeah.

I've misspoken. I absolutely think that. I'm just saying that I 100% am with you on that. I'm thinking that the writers at the time don't see it that way. They see it as like, it's a man's right to do this

and women are just going to be fine with it. So it gives Bond this mystique that he almost is like immune to anything and that everything comes his way in every way. Like intrigue, espionage. The woman that was the secretary whose house he went to, what was her name?

Do you remember? where she told him to drive to her house of mountains? Oh, Miss Terro, yeah. She really didn't want him when he opened that door and he's... Well, she, he was supposed to have been dead by then. Yeah, she was... No, no, no, no. I mean, when he comes to the door and she's listening,

she's on her knees and she's listening at the door in the office, she had zero attraction for him. And yet he was, you know, immediately coming on to her. But there is the argument to be made that he was coming on to her. Because he knew that she was listening. And she's working for the villain. Right. But see, the thing is...

So he was doing it on purpose. He wasn't just super hungry for the... But I'm sure he was, too. I don't mean to say that I don't think Bond isn't a predator and isn't super hungry. No, I think it's clear. It's exactly what you're saying, Matt. It's clear as day. But they write the women to fawn all over him so breezily that it's almost like they're making it seem...

Like, they're almost like removing responsibility for... from Bond in a way, you know, like giving him such magical powers of persuasion and attraction that it's almost like he, you know, again, I'm not condoning this. I feel like this is kind of what the writers and the, like, culture of the time was. It's like if you're a dashing man, it's almost your eminent domain to go do these things. Yeah, but I think they, they show it both ways. In this movie, I think, like with Sylvia, when she shows up at his house and has taken off all clothes and is now wearing his dress shirt. That's true.

I think that that is a clear indication that Sylvia, he wants to go to get on the plane to go to Jamaica. And he's like, oh, I guess I can stay. That's an instance of being thrown at. That's true. And I guess I'm thinking about what happens long term with Bonifty. In this movie alone, yeah. If we're taking the isolation of this movie in particular.

So then we then jump over to its next. Next would be taro, right? No, next would be money pendent. or Money Penny was first, but that, okay. The Money Penny Interplay is a long-running, I don't even know, you can't call it a gag. She's into it. She loves them.

Right. He loves to flirt with her. It's very flirty their relationship. Yeah. Okay, okay, moving on, tarot. Tarot, that's him in full, I'm James Bond, I'm going to spy mode. Mind you, okay, so that's the instance of like, why don't we meet for dinner blah blah blah blah and then when he shows up and she's not ready

she doesn't she's oh my god you should have been dead why are you still here then we see then we see him go into predator mode as far as i'm concerned like that's when we see james bond and full like i might as well have sex with her because i've got to kill a lot of time yeah and this is what i mean by then she's just very quickly like okay you know yeah she does not want that's what i mean she had to do it for her job. Yeah. Right, but they write these women very simplistically in this sense. Going on behind my back.

Yeah, okay, well, all right. What about that towel that was basically glued onto her body? It was zipped. It was zipped. Yeah. I know, I love that. Is that a thing that women back there used to wear? They have those even now.

I don't know about zip, but Velcro versions that are just like. Yes, but they're not form fitting like that. Hers had like a whole bodice in like, um, stiff, stiff chest area. I'd wear one of those. Right now. 60s boobs. Yeah. Yeah.

60's boobs. They're a thing. And then she said, I'll hold him off for a couple hours, but then it was immediately night and it seemed like, seemed like so many hours later. Yeah. But how about when he was driving and they had the car behind him? That was interesting how they had to work around that cinematography where like they had his car and then it was a movie of a car behind them.

But he had to do all the jerking back and forth. But he was getting hit, but the car wasn't jerk. He actually didn't jerk much. He just turned the wheel, but it was real bad. That car behind him was so huge, too. Yeah. This is a baseline bond film where you get the simplest. It's like the most down the middle because it's the beginning.

And so the bonds tend to deviate from here where they go like in the extreme one way or the other. They get really realistic and gritty or like really fantastic. fantastical. And I like bits of both. But this one has always been one that has been slightly boring to me because as a kid, I never started with this. You never know which one was first as a kid. You're just kind of randomly choosing.

So when you eventually happen upon this one, you're like, oh, this one's kind of boring compared to the others. But now watching it like this morning and stuff, I was like you, Matt, just kind of happy to just slowly go along the ride. It was perfect as a morning watch, you know, because it's also kind of, it's one of the most colorful and bright of all the Bond movies too. I agree. And like kind of summery and summer's coming around these parts and, you know.

You just brought a weird memory back into my brain. What's that? Of being a kid and looking at the back of the VHSs to see the year that the movie came out. To try to figure out which ones came first. Yeah. Because there was no like, you couldn't go on the internet and look up the release dates of all the James Bond movies. You'd literally have to flip the VHS over, look at the very bottom corner and see

it, 1968. Yeah. Yeah. Which ones earlier? You knew by what Bond actor, at least what era you were in. So when did you guys start getting obsessed with James Bond movies? A couple of weeks ago. Yeah.

We figured we've been doing the podcast so long we should actually like it. Yeah. So a couple weeks ago, we decided deep dive, we're going to get into it. Yeah, we were hired to do this. We've never seen the Bond movie. We were hired by Sean Connery to talk about how handsome he is. Both of us was with, I think, our fathers. And mine so much so that I don't remember a time.

before it, like, because this movie franchise existed well before me. So it was just either on TV or we were getting VHS's. So I don't even remember Bond not being something that was, I was aware of or watching or something. But I watched it with my dad a lot. Yeah. And I had always just, my sisters were really into it. Really? They were older.

They still are much older than me. We got to have them on. Good luck. And my sister Julie lives in England now. Oh, wow. She was such an anglophile as a kid anyway. Wow. She married a British guy.

So, but yeah, the, yeah, just as a kid, they would be into like Remington Steel, Pierce Brass and Timothy Dalton stuff, right? And then for me, it really galvanized. And I would go see them in the movie theater when they came out. And then it really galvanized for me when I started working at Blockbuster as a teenager and was able to just grab whatever movie I felt like grab it. That's got to be good. That's fun. I miss Blockbuster. Yeah.

Me too. I've got a gloft. Oh, let's look out for this. So goarly's look out for this. When they go to sit down for this very cordial and polite and urbane dinner between Dr. No and Bond and Honey Rider, there's a point where they pan out or they zoom out on Dr. No, and all he's got on his bare plate are two very large black olives. just spaced.

They look exactly like they should be his testicles or something, just kind of the placement. And it's worth watching. It was a weird, like, was that on purpose? Why does he have two? And they're large. They're like the size of like dates or figs or something. Well,

not figs, but yeah, maybe dates. It's just weird that they're just placed like that. You think that was in a moose bush, or do you think that was his meal? No garnish, nothing. What was on everyone else's plate?

Food, I think. As far as I can. tell. Maybe that's because that's all he could handle with his hands. Yes. But there's nothing else and they're like an inch or two inches apart and they're just, it's just strange. It is strange. Now, this is weird. I don't actually remember them eating dinner. I must have had a, well, I don't know if they ever got to dinner, but they have drinks where they're in his layer at the end with the fish. Remember the big. I remember the big fish. Yes. And they go up to the table and they talk about $1 million. What?

Dr. No wants him to join him Inspecored Yeah, that's familiar But quick question Yeah Did she say something about Or was there some implication That they were 200 feet underneath?

Okay Yeah Because of why, something that only lives 200 feet down? Yeah, she saw something that only lives A sea turtle or a plant Yeah Okay, and then the fish aren't really that big It's just come

They're magnified by the Thick glass Okay One million dollars I designed it myself Did he say that? Yes.

That's not from Austin Powers, huh? It might as well. Nothing from Austin Powers is from Austin Powers. If you watch, you only live twice, that is the most Austin Powersy movie you will see. They're almost identical in a way, just in production design. Which one? You only live twice. Okay.

Yeah. Not going to make you watch it, but. I'm probably not going to watch it. Yeah, fair enough. Safe assumption. So then, let's see. So Bond thwarts Doctor Knows Plan to. to disturb the U.S. rockets.

What was he going to do? He wanted to stop the U.S. rockets. Just stop them. Where were the rockets going? They were shooting from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Yeah, for money. To where? Testing.

I think they were testing a moon rocket. A moon rocket. Moon rocket. Yeah, so this is 62. So this is like right in the era of the Mercury missions, which were the one, the single person capsules. Oh. So you're John Glens of the, of the,

John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth or in space. Yes. It's interesting because this is very similar to the movie plot of Moonraker, where the villain is like thwarting rocket launches. What's Moonraker? Is him wanting to. No, the movie, sorry, I meant the book plot. Oh, oh, sorry.

Sorry, yeah, of course. They're way different, but. Wait, is that another Bond movie or something else? It's another Bond movie. Yeah, and book. Yeah Someone sent me a link What Moonraker actually is

It's a type of bandit Oh It's worth looking up Because it has a really cool story behind it Now I can't remember You guys talk and all Is it someone Is it someone who is it like a gardener

Who would only rake by the moon By the light of the moon Like yeah on a full moon he'd be out there raking No it's the moon raker Hold on That's the moon raker Why is he out there? Don't mind him.

Don't mind him. That's just our moonraker. He likes to work and I. He's got really light skin. It's better than all. And they, um, okay, this is good. This name refers to a folk story said in the time when smuggling was a significant industry in rural England with Wiltshire lying on the smuggler's secret roots between the

South Coast and customers in the center of the country. The story goes that some local people had. hidden contraband barrels of French brandy from customs of officers in a village pond. While trying to retrieve it at night, they were caught by the revenue men, but explained themselves by pointing to the moon's reflection and saying they were trying to rake in a round cheese. The revenue men thinking they were simple yocals laughed at them and went on their way, but as the story goes, it was the moon rakers who had the last laugh.

In the words of Wiltshire Shepherd William Little, who recounted the story to writer John young acriman. Zoddy exciseman as axed the question and his grin at him but they good laugh when they got him the hoi-me-the-staffed-fucked out I don't know what that meant.

But anyway, Moonraker is you raking cheese in water. English accent. Yeah. That's just been a little This story I don't buy. Folklore etymology diversion brought to you by Matt Goreley.

Matt and, Matt and, Matt and Chip-on-in podcast. Well, it's been a while, but comedian Michael Ian Black is finally back here on Earwolf, this time with a new podcast called Obscure. In Obscure, Michael tackles a great work of literature he's never read, and you probably haven't either. He's reading one of the most well-respected books ever written, Jude the Obscure, out loud and commenting as he goes, even though he didn't really want to. This book has been on his bookshelf for years, just mocking him. But he's reading it for you, and he has a lot of thoughts to share along the way.

Join Michael Ian Black, some of his famous and non-famous friends and experts as he discovers Jude's world and a few things about his own. Is that a terrible idea? Probably is. But it's a terrible idea he wants to do with you. Subscribe to Obscure Now in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Mad end. Mad and! I think there's like so many great things that are established in this film.

Like his drink of choice, his vodka martini. Oh, yeah. Mixed like you said, sir, not stirred. That's right. I think that's a fun little tidbit for the film. I love the mention of the tailor. I love when Jack Lord asks him where his suits get tailored. Do you like his suit pants, that style?

I don't like that style. I for the first time did. I was like, those high-wasted pleats. No, Matt, don't start wearing those. Well, I'm not going to because I... Well, if anyone could pull it off, it's you, buddy. No. You got the figure.

I'm certainly not going to. But there was something about it. You know why I liked it? Because I'm like, I don't see that around anymore. Oh, God. And that fast. I saw a guy with a high-waisted pleaded pant the other day at a restaurant. And he had a black turtleneck on and a gym bag.

Oh. And he looked French. And I said to Dory, I was like, there is no way this guy is not part of a bank robbery. I love it. Turtlenecks have really been calling my name lately. And I find as I get older, the less I give a damn about what I look like and what people would care.

So part of me does want to get those high-wasted pleats and wear a scarf around my neck and a turtle neck. Amanda was saying the other day in my podcast that she likes, oh no, it was in the big ones. She likes short scarves on a man. That's what I like too. And I wore one in Switzerland. Define shorts.

Like you wear like a button-up shirt, right? Yeah. And then you kind of leave it maybe one or two buttons open. And then you have basically a bandana-sized scarf that you tie around your neck. And it just has a short knot in the front of your neck. And I love that look. It's more for like gardening, right? So I'm thinking like I'm in Switzerland.

I'm not in the States. You can pull this off here. I pull it off. And people are looking at me like, I don't know what you think we do here, but this is not. Not it? No, they weren't. But I'm slowly going to get that back into society. just like what I would assume.

Well, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, for me, it seems like you're out tending to the vine. Yes, it's a very vineyardy thing. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I feel like today, Amanda and I are going to do some work in the yard

and build a garden bed and I think maybe it's time to bring the scarf out, you know? And the idea that it won't burn the back of your neck? Is that what it is? I think the idea is, look at me. I'm definitely French. Right. Well, you are wearing the shirt for it today. I know.

You're wearing the quintessential French shirt. Or like a gondoliers. Yeah. The, okay, so the martini, the suit thing, I really enjoy. I enjoy the armory scene. I love major booth. Yeah. What's the armory thing?

That's when he gets his gun. Oh, got you. But then didn't he, he said, leave the gun, but then he walked out with the gun, but then he left it with Moneypenny, right? He left Moneypenny an empty box. Yeah. He had the gun. Yeah, that's weird that he leaves her the empty box.

And it fades out on her opening it and kind of going, oh, nothing in here. He could have left me a gun or a ring. I love the way the guy playing Major Boothroyd delivers the line for a lady's handbag. Yeah. Just like with enough like sauce on it to be like, I got you. M sets him up to say like, I want hard reasons why he shouldn't be using this gun. And he's just Mr. British and polite, but then gets in this passive aggressive thing with a lady's handbag. Why does he want that other gun so badly?

I think it's just his like his sports car He knows it and loves it Does he continue to use that gun throughout the rest of the The new one? The PPK Even to this day They went away from it for a few years

But now he's back to using that old Not the one he originally has But this one that they give him This Walter PPPK Which is actually like a German Gun from World War II But he's still uses it even now.

Wow. What a guy. True to his traditions. Yeah. He's actually being handed a Walter P.P.P. In this movie, it's not a P.P.K. Oh. My God, right?

Things you learn from Amazon's X-Rabias. That makes sense. When they put the silencer on, I'm always like, that's not a Walter P.P. I'm sure you thought the same thing. So is every woman that he has sex with in a movie considered a bond girl, or is it just, um, I don't know. We went over this question.

There's no hard answer on this, but we essentially came down on the side of any girl that factors into the plot in some way. So like one of the hotel workers that kind of looks them up and down wouldn't be a bond girl. But Miss Tara Wood, Honeychild, Sylvia Trench, they factor in in some way. They don't have to sleep with him. That's usually what happens. But they are somehow involved in the intrigue or plot of it. at all.

Okay. So it's not like they have to be a villain or they have to be a good person. Yeah, it could be either. Okay. They can be a victim. They can be a hero. It doesn't matter if they get pregnant. Does he impregn't anyone ever?

No. No. Oh, he doesn't have a... He might have dumb sperm. We don't know. You know what? Maybe I can't use a bond sperm. Although Roger Moore himself has.

Oh, good. How many of them have... Do they all have kids? I don't know. I don't know about Dalton. All of them I know, but Dalton Connery's got kids, right? I don't know. I think so.

Moore does. More than Marrier, that's what they say. Yeah, well, you know. Can you imagine if you had that bloodline in there? You would be so excited. I would. I would. I'd be like, Amanda, let's have a kid, but my sperm's broken.

But I got this, I got Ricky Moore over here. Ricky. Little Ricky. Ricky Moore. I'd rather have Desi Arnett. as it is. Oh, yeah. Would you? Yeah. Is he around? No. No, he died in the 80s. Oh, geez. Jeez. Jeez. A little bit of that Cuban heat. I'd love to have some of Lucy's sperm. She's, I continually fall in love with her every time I see that show for every reason.

Well, we'll see if we can get you something for sperm. Okay, please. Now, I haven't watched that show in a really long time. I've been watching it a lot later. Is there any stuff that you cringe about? Oh, sure. Okay. There's a lot of jokes about domestic violence. Okay. Like he'll... How about racial stuff? Only, you know what, I actually read about this too.

There's some like when they go to Italy and the Italians are like, she's a her birthday too, you know, like that kind of thing. But they made a basic rule and that was no one makes fun of Desi Arnaz, not as an ego thing because they just didn't want to go to racial humor. The only one they would allow to do it was Lucy because they thought she's married to him and she can call him out. because he's, you know, they have a heated relationship sometimes. So no one makes fun of Desi's accent except Lucy. And that was how they handled it. That was their formula. Okay, cool.

Yeah. I mean, I can handle the misogyny when it's on that show. Really? Yeah, because why? It's just fun. It's just fun. No, I mean, I grew up watching all those shows. It's kind of like how we grew up with Bond.

Like, that's the other thing I like about doing this podcast, is that it's easy for those things to just get grandfathered in and you don't really think about the years that you're growing up and watching them. But when we watch these and I'm thinking like, oh, Molly's going to see this for the first time, I have to watch it through those eyes and that stuff. It pops out anyway. But it's, it is, it brings the good and the bad to the top, you know,

and it's all worth talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Oh, the other thing that I noticed this time, and we can wrap. up is how loud the electric the electric vent is oh yeah because I'm just like well that was like right when I was like oh okay and then they probably did that on purpose to wake

everybody the vent that he climbs through yeah the why is it why is it hot I think is it like is it like a cooling vent for the nuclear yeah it's like where the nuclear waste goes out although that's weird because it goes from his cell straight to his room so I think it's I don't No, what. Well, only when he gets down to the bottom. And then the water went through it. Yeah. Cooling water, I guess.

Oh, to cool the vents. I guess. To cool the... Something like that. Reactor? I don't know, friends. If you know how to build a nuclear power facility, let us know. There was a lot of loudness.

Yeah. Molly, did you say you had something else? Oh, just that dragon. Why would anyone believe that there was a dragon on that island? Well, that's another thing that contributes to the racism. They even say, like, the natives think it's any. And it's so, like, condescending to think that just there. But even honey, what's her face?

Yeah. Well, she's a native too. She is. And in the book, she was. She lives in the basement of a burned down house by herself, except she had her maid. So she actually had, she actually spoke in a Jamaican accent in the book because she was raised by her maid. Interesting. It's a weird story, yeah.

I forget. Yeah, I was trying to figure out what her accent was the whole time. Yeah. It wasn't her anyway. No, I'm sure it wasn't. Yeah, that was the only other. I did actually take notes last night, but I forgot. I never left them at home.

That's all right. Some good ones. And then Quarles burned alive by the dragon. Yeah. Yeah. And I did, this is also the first time I noticed that Bond goes to approach the body. Oh. Like a little sadness.

I think Quarrel could have gotten away from that if he'd try it. That thing wasn't kind of mad up too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They all could. They ran toward it, didn't they? Kind of.

It's also like, was that thing built just, here's what I wonder. Was the legend of the dragon, did that predate Dr. Noe finding that island and then building that fake dragon to make sure people stay off? Maybe that's, or did Dr. No build that dragon and then it started the dragon rumor? I think that's what it was. Yeah. I got to see in the book what that is. I forget if that's in there.

Well, I'd give the Dragon Car, uh, 007. Oh, I give it a zero, zero, zero. I'd give it, uh, golden eye plus three. All right. So let's rate this film zero to zero seven. And for me, you know, I'm not doing it in, in respect to other movies. What, what, what am I? What would you like to, would you like to judge it on its own merits against all other films?

Or would you like to, it's the bonds you've already seen? Or would you like to judge it as what you think a James Bond movie is? Yeah. And how close. came to that. Oh, it seems like like 007 James Bond movie. Well, okay. But do you think it's like... That reminds me. I was watching

the, you know, the Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon commentary of the Royal Wedding? They did it for the Rose Parade. Yeah, I didn't see any of it. It was really funny, but they start talking about James Bond and they're in those characters and Will Ferrell's like, ha ha ha, God, I love those James Bond films. What's your favorite James Bond film? And she

goes, oh, I think 007. That one is great. But just the way that she fired back with so quickly. Oh, God, it was funny. Well, until last night, I didn't know the movies weren't called James Bond or this or that. Oh, like Indiana Jones. Like I went to look it up on iTunes. Oh, yeah. And I was, and I, I wrote Dr. No, but I was like, I don't know if this is the same. Is this a James Bond? I don't. Oh, interesting. I didn't know. Wow. Well, it's good that we have. There was no 007 or James Bond in the title. You're a newcomer to the franchise. And I mean, we really should at some point have you back for like what is now.

a modern kind of solid James Bond film just to see the difference in where it's come, but we won't. And what are your favorites? Casino Royale. We go both ways. We like the wacky. And we like the not wacky. Yeah.

Like we like a view to a kill, which is from the mid-80s and it's bananas. Yeah. Roger Moore's last. He's 57. Ooh. Now I'm curious. I kind of do want to watch more. That one's got Grace Jones in it.

She's this like tough henchman named Mayday. Christopher Walkens the villain. It's bonkers, but it's fun. Huh. Yeah. Okay. So maybe, yeah, maybe judge it on what you think a Bond film should be. Should be?

I mean, it is what I expected. Exactly what I expected. That's why I said double-O-. Oh, so you did give it a 007. For what I think a James Bond movie is, yeah. Good. Okay. I haven't even thought about this, Matt.

Go ahead. I'm going to give it a 00-06. I really enjoy this film. I'm going to go 005. Okay. Yeah. Five, six, seven. That's right.

Average is me, I win. Yeah. But what about, I mean, for enjoyment purposes, you, were you doing it? This is for enjoy, this is like, we sort of like, I don't know what our criteria is, really. So my viewing experience for this movie, I'm going to go double a four. That's still pretty accurate then. That's still better than middle, down the middle. Yeah.

Yeah. Isn't that exactly? So maybe we could average yours and you're a W. No. 05.5? No. No? I mean, you can't average me.

I can't. Sorry. How dare I presume to average you? Please don't. 004. Okay, yeah, no, I think that should be your rating, actually. I think the 004, how much you enjoyed watching the movie, right? So then it's a double 05 by average.

Yeah, then you win. Way to go, man. Thank you. Next two weeks from now, because you know we've only got two films left. We're doing something special. First of all, we're bringing back episode guest favorites, Maria and Amanda. We're going to watch Casino Real and Quantum of Salas back to back and then record the episodes as back to back episodes.

Because as we've talked about many times on this podcast, Quantum of Salas is best when viewed as closely as possible to Casino Real. Yes, but now we don't know what that does to the quality level of Casino Real. You never know. It could drop it. Which one's first? Casino Royale. And Quantum is a direct sequel, which has really never quite been done before in the franchise.

Okay. It picks up the second the movie in. But it has a troubled past. I've been looking forward to watching this movie probably the most. Yeah. So I'm excited about it. We've been weirdly saving it. Yeah.

Now also, I am forcing us to get to one of these off-brand Bond movies for the in-between episode. and Matt and I talked about it. We think between listener feedback on what the most requested one is and some that we came up with, we're going to do four non-bonds, and I'm going to put up a poll on the James Bonding Twitter, and you can vote. Do you want us to watch and talk about Austin Powers, the first one, Thomas Crown Affair, Brosnan, Operation Kid Brother, also called OK Connery, that has an alternate title.

Yeah, it depends on what. and our man Flint with James Coburn. In Like Flint? In Like Flint is the first one. Right, you're right. Yeah. So in like Flint, Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers, and Operation Kid Brother. Which one do you want us to watch and talk about?

And we'll do that for the episode next week. Yeah, so we're going to run a poll on. You can do it now. We'll do it now. Well, should we keep it open until Saturday. until no, because we have to watch it. When does this come out? Next Tuesday.

So if you're getting... Maybe keep it open until Friday. If you're listening to this, we're going to have a poll up on our Twitter account. We'll tell Emily. And then, yeah, so vote there on which movie you'd like covered for next week's episode.

That's right. And Molly... Choose between... Oh, sorry. ...or non-bonds. In the morning and I step outside. I'll take a big breath Then I get real high

And I'll scream to the top of my lungs What's going bond? Got anything to plug, Molly? Just my sperm cast, guys. You guys check this out. Spermcast. You can, yeah, find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. Molly, thank you for going on this James Bond adventure with us.

Thank you guys so much for having me. And wading into the soft, warm, salty waters of the mangrove swamp of Crabtree. I am honored to be here. This has been very exciting for me, especially to meet Matt. Oh, listen, she's heard many of my trials and tribulations regarding sperm. I love his, I almost called it a web series. It is. It's a web series available in audio form.

Mandorie's Exit Adventure, tune in if you want to hear us try to make a baby. We're still going. Yeah. You could start at episode one, jump to episode 87, and we're still trying. Well, fingers crossed because you're back in the fray right now. We're back in it. We're back in the saddle again, guys. So check out Mountain Dory's Excellent Adventure and Molly Hockey's spermcast.

And I'm starting a new one called Overeys and Underies, where I, I don't know what I do. I just got the title and I'm working out how I'm going to make that work. Talk to Amanda about it. She can probably help on that one. You're probably right. Thank you, Molly. Thanks, guys. And James Bonding will return.

Ovaries and ivory. And you just play piano songs. And I'm about trying to have a baby. Go together in perfect. This is Bonnie Podcast. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food.

And I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping-on-up. on point and we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Hate nuts. Rachel Bloom. You are seeing my collection of men corpses and one woman.

Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circledly crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus.

I mean, Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three, A Below from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.