James Bonding - Dr. No With Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Matt and Matt invite comedian Paul F Tompkins to the show to break down the 1962 classic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now enteringnerdist.com. What made that funny is I can see you inhaling for so long. I have mouth horns. Welcome to episode one of James Bonding. With our guest, Paul F. Tompkins. Hello. Hi.

I'm Paul F. Tompkins, a stand-up comedian and also film lover. The only two criteria for guesting on our podcast. You've met both. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for joining us, Paul. Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure to rewatch. This is over?

No. No. No, the pleasure of being here has just begun, my friends. Let me do some horse. Bop, ha, ha, ha, ha, chook. Skat-up, bwap-wab-dab-wab-wada. All right. We did it.

Welcome. Paul, thank you for being here. You said that like there was some hesitation in how much pleasure you took in re-watching the first James Bond movie. I will say, I have not seen it in probably more than a decade, right? And I would say that my takeaway from it is that movie making has changed. Also, how we treat women has changed. Well, barely. But the, the...

At one point, I watched it with Matt last night. And at one point, Matt noted that this is one of the shortest Bond movies. And I say, really? Because I could not believe. It just, the pacing of it is so slow. And it's, you can sort of see the stuff that just hadn't been invented yet. Right. Like, there's a scene where, um, uh, Bond, I don't want to talk to out of sequence if we're going to, you know, go to go for you.

If anything, we have established no. There's a scene where Bond is, he's leaving his bungalow and he's going to guard against, he's going to set little sort of traps for people to fall into in case, so he'll know that somebody's been there. So he puts dust on his briefcase handles. He puts a hair across the closet door. Which my dad did when I was a child at a hotel on a safe in the hotel. And I was so impressed by this amazing thing of this is how you'll know that it wasn't until years later. where I saw Dr. No, and I was like, oh, come on,

dad, you just fucking ripped up. He absolutely got it from Dr. No, right? That's the only place to get it from. Unless some special army training, I don't know about where they just say... He was just doing that because of Dr. No, not because I was going to really tell him anything. If your safe is busted into, your safe is busted into. Right. We were

there for a few days, and he wanted to know that he could eventually put something in the safe, I think. Oh, so before he put anything in the safe, so he put the hair on there. Because, like, a maid or something could come out. Yeah, all right, fair enough. Let's all do it. Major cooeds to your dad.

Coeds. Cudes to the pop. Coods, Papa Myra. But so we see him do all these things in real time. And nowadays, that would be a quick montage. You know, this, that, the other thing. So you get the idea like, oh, this guy's clever, but they just had time to burn back then. Oh, did they ever.

Everyone's sitting there in the theater smoking cigarettes. It's like, this guy is, he's sharp. And when you say the pacing is slow quite literally because many scenes are just about him pacing from one place to the next through a hotel lobby. It's all about... His personal pacing is slower than it should be. A lot of travel time. A lot of travel time. A lot of shoe leather in this film. But you do kind of get the impression that they were sort of going for, let's make this a sort of vacation log with a spy in it.

Yeah, detective. Well, I also think that everything about it was so, it was uncharted territory. You know, it was like this sort of, it's weird to think that this kind of, it's weird to think that this kind of, kind of invented the action movie in a way, right? Which I guess it kind of did. It really did, yeah. It invented this sort of action thriller, and there's, like, nobody had ever seen anything like this before.

So the idea that he's going to put the hair on the door and he's going to put the powder on the, this is all very excited. Airports were exciting. Airports, yes, exactly, exactly. A boat. Yeah. A boat pulling into a port. It's amazing.

Look at the blue water and, you know, there's all this, there's all this, um, uh, You know, it's like technicolor and everything is very, it's all very new and very exciting. And I get that. But it's so crazy to watch it from a modern perspective of like, my God, he's still walking over there? He's still walking. Oh, my God. The man arrives at the airport. And though there was no security like there is today, it takes him longer to get through that airport than it does for me to go anywhere.

It was insane. And just the holding on the, I've seen more bad Sean Connery driving in this. movie. Like the car chase, he moves the wheel so much so that he would have done like a nine, whatever, 920. Like he would have gone. Or at least thrown up. Yeah. Right. It's made himself sick. At the very least, he would have been off that cliff. We talked about this last night that as any kind of performer, I would much rather do an emotional crying scene or a sex scene or both at the same time than have to do a rear projection driving scene because that seems like some of the hardest thing to do. Tell me more about this sad, sexy movie you're in. Well, it's where people are crying and having sex. It's called 9 and 3 quarters weeks.

That's an excellent sequel. Speaking of projection, did you notice, first time I noticed it was last night on the Blu-ray, the scene with the spider. Tarantula. Yeah, the tarantula is just, they shot the tarantula crawling on a projected film of Sean Connery. No, no, no, that's not true.

What did they do? Oh my God, you guys. Buckle up your sit downs and take a real get-load of this. Okay? What they did, honestly? Re-watch it. No, I watched the... Cormituary dinner!

I didn't know this was going to happen, you guys. They put a pane of glass and built a sideways room so that he could lie down, and the side wall of the hotel was actually the floor so that the tarantula could... Oh, my way was much easy. I know. Oh, absolutely. But you can see his arm ever so slightly up against. against de glass.

And it's, it's not, it's not bad. No, it's pretty good. But, but then we were talking, we were also talking like, tarantels are not really lethal in that way. Right. They really couldn't have.

Also, I think with the movies, they can, you know, they were way less sensitive about animals back then. They could have just ripped out whatever would have killed anyone. Plus, what a circuitous route to kill somebody.

That's, yes. The guy has to go to an island, be given a tarantula in a nice little travel cage. It looks like a lantern. And go back on a boat and then just put it in his room and hope that it's going to get him. Something with the Live and Let Die. Is the idea that the listening audience will have perhaps watched this recently? Yeah, we explain up top if you want to really enjoy this sort of watch it right before. And these movies are all readily available in various places.

But yeah, that plan, Dr. Noe's plan, he's very unhappy. Okay. Very unhappy. Okay. Tells his minion, you take this. this spider. You go to his hotel room. It's Jim, the spider.

This is my favorite. Don't let anything happen to him. Wait till he's asleep. And then somehow get the spider under his covers. Why don't we re- spared that? I would argue. I would argue that that plan

to deal with James Bond is well thought out, much more so than his actual plan, which I still don't know what his ultimate goal was. His ultimate goal is to disrupt American rockets. For what? To embarrass them because they turn down their shot at Dr. No?

That's true. Is that really his point? He wants to. That really, honestly, that does seem to be what it is, is that East and West both turned him down. She was like, well, I'm just going to make you guys look like jerks. That's the whole thing behind Specter, though. All they want to do is disrupt both sides. They're all bitter, and they want extortion and revenge.

Yeah. What is the revenge? What is it? Oh, because it's all in the. The acronym. Special, what is it? We should know this. Special punishments for real.

Wait, where did you get the four? Eggheads. Poo-p-p-poo-poo-poo's. Hang on, hang on. Rage-aholics. Special executive. Spectre. Special executive for counterintelligence terrorism. Revenge.

And extortion. Yeah. That is the clunkiest. The acronym. It really doesn't work. It falls apart several times. It's the word. It falls apart with the first word because we're taking two letters from the first word.

It's the worst. It's very simple. You take the SP from special. Add in executive. I'm listening. The word four is in there, but don't capitalize it. Put that out of you, man. Revenge.

Yes, okay. Quick question. Yes. I'm almost done. Are we doing English, spelling, or American? Let's go English. All right. Unless we run into a problem.

I'm just about there. Okay. What am I up to? I believe we... See? Did I get to the seat? I just agreed on intelligence. Oh.

You're not reverse engineering this in any way, are you? No, certainly not. This just happened by chance. No, no, no. Okay, then go ahead. The inspiration came to me in the bath. You're positive this isn't a word you found intriguing and then thought of an acronym. Well, it's a happy coincidence, let's say.

And you're Ernstov Roblofeld? Yes. I do remember you buying all those signs that said Spectre about 10 years. ago. Look, fellas. Spectra. Can I be honest with you? Yeah.

I've spent all the money. What? Yes. Well, we better start extorting. On shots for my cat. Well, that's it. I'm going to my own island and I'm going to disrupt some rockets. The real enemy here is feline AIDS.

I will say that the, um, there's, it's a bit of a lighter touch than we're accustomed to in modern times with the weird stuff about Dr. No, like his crazy strong hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't do it too much. It's like just a little bit so you feel like, oh, this guy's a weird dude. But they never say, why. I kind of like that. Well, he's dealing with radiation.

He says it's a misfortune. Yes. I can't shake hands. A misfortune. What? The end. Also, I love that his crazy strong metal breaking hands cannot grip a single pole when he's being. That's the downfall.

Oh, this metal can't grip other metal. But he has no problem with a dainty cigarette earlier in a scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's clearly he can control it thoroughly because he breaks the statue. Yeah. And also handles a cigarette and can eat, no problem. But now, the eating did seem a little laborious, to be fair. This movie at the time was very well received, right?

It was a gigantic hit, and I'm sure. Yeah. How was it received critically? Oh, I think pretty positive. Yeah, I think so. I think everybody expected a Bond movie to be fluff. Right. What's fascinating to me is...

It was just going to be fun. The movie cost... Didn't it cost over a million dollars to make? I think it was a million... The budget was a million dollars straight up. Which later is just the budget alone for the volcanic island and you only live twice. Right.

Just the sad. Wow. Yeah. They really figured out where to spend their money. Yeah, put it on the screen. That was Cubby Moch, Mochley's motto. Cubby mockily. I'm Cubby Mockley. Your movies are dumb.

Put it on the screen. Please don't. His childhood nemesis, Coby Mockley. Look who's here, Cubby? Oh, guys. I followed you to the end of the earth. No. Please don't switch around my name.

It's not. It's an acronym. It takes too long, though. I don't want to go to it. All right. So let's sort of talk about this as the As a family. As the jumping off point.

Yes, please, as a family together. as the jumping off point for James Bond. So already, off the bat, we're establishing the gun barrel opening, not Sean Connery. Bob Simmons, the stuntman. Which I did not know until last night. Yeah, I had no idea that that was not always the actor portraying James Bond. For the first three movies, I think. They don't even bother to change it until Thunderball.

Yeah. Why? They were finally like, can you do this now? But what, I mean, I cannot imagine what circumstances prevented them from getting this very simple shot of Sean Connery walking. God knows he's proven he can walk on film. But just to jump slightly to the left and point a gun at the screen and then just stand there. With the best of it.

I can imagine exactly. And it goes, Sean, do you mind coming in? We just need to do a pickup show. No, I really. I really didn't think I should. Yes, I do mind. Is there money involved? No, no.

Then go fuck yourself. But even then, like he was nobody, right? This was his first big thing. Darby O'Gill and the little people aside. Thank you. That's the movie that got him the job, first of all. But I was reading about this last night, researching for this podcast. And he made a stink about the money he was getting for Dr. No.

He came in and he hammered his fist on the desk and admitted later that he was putting on a show. But he was always very concerned about money. And that's why they ended up having a falling out. Wow. So he must have known, he was smart enough to know this is. going to be a big thing. Yeah. Like, or,

or at the very least, if this is a big thing, I want to be ready. He didn't think it was. He didn't think it was going to. Here's the, here's sort of the, the crux,

and where I sort of fall into Connery's camp on this whole thing is, let's get into that Connery Crux. Let's get in it. Let's get in it. He wanted, he wanted to be compensated

as James Bond grew and grew and grew, and grew. His contract stayed the same. Yeah. So the producers would always renegotiate their own contracts with the studio, so they would end up getting

more and more money. And they would never bother compensating Sean Connery. It's so insane. It is just like I can justifiably and I see yeah, go ahead. Leave. Just go. Did you ever see the clip when he went on Carson?

Yes. He was probably says he never say never again I think and Carson says so who's the bad guy and he goes cubby broccoli. Yeah, no he said who's your favorite Bond villain? That's right. Yeah. Cubby broccoli. Just like way inside baseball for that audience, I'm sure.

Everybody was drunk. Yeah, so we get the first semblance of a Bond title sequence with silhouettes of women dancing. And awkward music transitions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of more like an overture. It doesn't have the, because it starts out with the iconic theme, and having watched some of these movies, you're sort of prepared for it to be, you know, these images, you know, over that theme playing. And then it very abruptly segues into this island music, people dancing, and then it segues again. into the silhouettes of the three blind guys

and this sort of island version of three blind mice which is one of them as a dentist on the island one of those three blind mice guys he's the dentist How do we know that? Well, I'll tell you, we watched the documentary last night Yes And also they explained this

Because he texted me at 1150 saying that he had watched it I think I left it 10 I don't know but they explain that noise in the air vents What? We were watching the movie When Bond is climbing through the Air Vinson Doctor Nose Island At some point there's this inexplicable

Like laser twang It just goes And he looks around And then nothing else Yeah And apparently the sound guy He's like Back then there was no libraries

You had to go out and find it So I found this And I wanted to put it in Basically is what it was That's what that boils down to So he heard a sound in life That he liked Yeah

These should be in a film. Arbitrarily put it in a movie. Oh, it looks like it goes in those tunnels. The tunnels... The tunnels was on the other side of those tunnels. Another thing that's very familiar to us now is crawling through air ducts, you know. Sure. And so that happens in this movie, and I'm sure it was not a thing that people had seen a million times,

but it seems like a very a spy thing to do. I'm going to crawl. For the first time, though, I was watching a scene like this, and it made me uncomfortable because it seemed like because I realized he doesn't know where he's going right he's just crawling around right what is he doing and then when like the water rushes through and his big plan to deal with that is to just like lock on and stick my face right where the water is rushing and down where the water would go into his nose yeah exactly yeah he's not facing the opposite it's not going to be washing over it's going to right into his nostrils and then um he just goes down he just sees oh i will just

go down there and it's making me really anxious like you don't know where you are you know i thought the same i i thought the same thing last night when i was watching it i was just like there's no he's there's one way out of this which is through this tunnel situation you don't know where you're wide down though that's my question yeah i feel like up would be the way to go yeah because there's always going to be air somewhere did he even try the door i don't think he did he didn't right Well, it's the one thing they don't show us. The one thing they don't show us is him trying the exit. Trying to figure out how the door works.

That was kind of alarming, though. I forgot about that crazy shock he guessed and get it's a blown onto the ground. That must have thrilled 1962 audiences. Oh, God, yeah. Tarantulas and when he hits it with his shoe, I'm like, that's still live wire. And he just does no bother. When he climbs out the other end, there's just, well, that's probably still live as well. Nope.

Nope. All you have to do is knock it out of its frame and then find it. There's a particular shoe. If you hit it with that shoe. I want to talk you a little bit about this opening sequence, though. Yes. Because originally there's this song that was written for this movie all throughout the movie underneath the mango tree. Underneath the mango tree, my honey and me.

We all trouble. I think I mentioned this last night, that Monty Norman, when he wrote it, put this lyric in, We Make Bula Loop Soon. He was told that that meant making love. It was Jamaican slang for making love. But then had never had it. everybody he's ever said to it in Jamaica's like, no, I've never heard of that,

and he thinks someone was pulling his leg, but it got into the song. Or they're being very protective of their secret term. No one should have told Montevormant. But that was going to be the theme song for the movie. That was going to play under the credits. That's what Harry Saltman wanted. Which I would have been okay with.

It's a little dainty. Well, immediately it goes to, who does it? Matt Barry from Russia with Love. Oh, Matt Monroe. Matt Monroe. Yeah, from. Rush with Love, which is very sort of like... But at least that's kind of crooney or something.

But then... It's got drama to it. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to underneath the mango tree. So Monty Norman was developing the James Bond theme, and he took it from an old melody from an old musical called A House for Mr. Bezwas. Oh, yeah.

And the lyrics, do you know it? It goes... Oh, I'm familiar. Yeah. I was born with this unlucky sneeze. And... I was born. Yeah.

Like, it's talking about born under a bad sign. Yes. Yeah, right? And he can't stop sneezing. Yeah. And it goes really slow like that, and he just had that melody, and you can listen to it on YouTube. It's got sitar behind it.

And that's all he gave to John Barry. And John Barry fleshed out the rest. And that's why there is a controversy about who wrote that. Well, I think Monty Norman wrote it. He wrote it. Yeah. The arrangement is beautiful. It's a great.

But I would say that arrangement is as pivotal as that melody, because that guitar. Why couldn't have been a collaboration? Because they didn't do that in the 60s. Okay, so we go three blind mice. The most two-dimensional-looking books I've ever seen in my life are removed, and the panel drops down to reveal a radio. Oh, yeah.

This is what she's opening. But it's like I could not even, like, even if you, I've seen more three-dimensional things in like a Peanuts cartoon. Like reading a Peanuts newspaper cartoon. I've seen more three-dimensional books. I think these books would not fool a roadrunner. that was the thinking though that an enemy would see it and go no that's too obvious I'm not even going to try it well no one would put a hair across the door

um I that whole workstation was very shabby and rickety yeah because you couldn't you couldn't lean on that thing there's no way well you're not here to lean you're going to do spy business if if you got time to lean you got time to spy clean that was another one where it's so laborious like we see every process of sending the message like Yeah, so you're there, Ova. And then let's get a closer before her clicking the switch to send. And then she does it, and then she listens for a little bit. And then it cuts to like a library in Silver Lake full of people that look like hipsters. Yeah.

And their big clue that something has gone wrong over in Jamaica, because, of course, there are no cell phones over there. I don't even think anyone, they just try them on the radio. No one tries to call the house. I feel like nobody tries to call. No. It's a long distance. So we are then propelled into a sort of a who-done-it or a why-done-it, and that's sort of the crux of what gets James Bond over there.

Yeah. Now we meet James Bond. The greatest introduction to a movie character ever. Yeah, ever. It really holds up. And also a bit of a parody from another movie I learned last night, too. He learned so much without us. I did. Oh, but I can't remember.

The director was referencing another film. I feel bad for the one listener out there that knows this. That's screaming into his earbuds, the name. Well, he shouldn't scream into earbuds. I feel bad for him for that reason. He has a sickness. Oh, I see. Yeah, he's...

Well, he can't hear us talk about him now. He's yelling. What a weirdo. So that itself is a reference to another scene. Yeah. The thing that's fascinating, don't worry about it. That's the theater downstairs, everybody, so you'll hear some sound bleed through. Get over it.

Katie's leaving our Miss Moneypenny. Bye, Katie. Okay, so the game he is playing is Baccarat. The goal of Baccarat, from my understanding, is to get as close to 19 as possible. No, as close to 9. 9. As close to 9 as possible. That's helpful to know.

Let's go. Why does he keep winning every time he gets 19? Because you can There's a certain point where you can Do you wheat Bonk This is all they're saying Sweetie

Sweetie Bunk Sweetie Sweetie Don't call me sweetie May I say now At this juncture I hate any kind of

card game in a movie That is depending on my knowledge of the card game Poker, I don't know poker really And it's like anytime that's in any movie where they like Lay cards down on a table and you're supposed to be like,

be a weird. Oh, no. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Voke something. But, oh, God, I had no, no clue how to play that game or anything like that. There's a great, like, two-page primer on Baccarat and Casino Royale. You can just read the two pages and it tells you everything you need to know. Well, all right.

I can't wait to do that before I do. Oh, you want to go read with me? Yeah, let's go read that real quick. We're going to read that, and we'll be back, Matt. It's just me, and I'm going to do a little bit more low, energy monotone talk. Couple of things. So we meet Sylvia Trench,

who is the only, as far as I'm concerned, the only Bond Girl to repeat. Yeah, and she was originally supposed to go for like six films. Oh, wow. Because Lois Maxwell, who played Moneypenny, was given the choice, play Sylvia Trench or Moneypenny.

And she chose to do Moneypenny. I love how much information you have. But now, do we know why she chose that? Because she knew MoneyPenny would definitely be a part of this universe for longer? Yeah, I think she also this is just my thinking. I think she probably,

I don't know, Sylvia Trench is just kind of of more of a femme fatal in MoneyPenny. She was a sweet, sweet sort of woman. I think she knew her type or something. Is Sylvia Trench the cleanest James Bond girl name or the dirtiest James Bond girl name? I never put any kind of devil and tundra in that. It's a weird name to give a lady.

Yeah, if you're going... Or anyone really, but Trench is like, what? Oh my God. Why would you never put that together? No one. Why would you name an attractive female character, trench? That out does every bond girl.

Over Goodhead. Yes, because Trench. I suppose Goodhead, there is no thought to that. You understand immediately what it is. But I don't even know if they were intending. If you think about it, it's the most misogynist name ever. Can I also say I'm sorry that I said it? And I'm sorry I thought it.

Yeah. We just found a lot about your soul. I think so. Please cut this out. Done. Well, we forgot to cut that out. So here's the... So Sylvia Trench, we meet Sylvia Trench.

James Bond, I don't know what the stakes are in this game, but the pile of money that that man walks out of Le Cirque with is insane. Yeah. It's... Tiles, not even chips. It's tied money. But they're all ones. Are they all ones?

I think they're all ones. They're ones tiles. So the British Pounds is if they were still using Pays. paper ones at that point. Gigantic, they were gigantic bills. Just ones, ones. Because he, I mean, it looks like, I sort of quickly looked, and when she buys in for another

thousand, it's six of those, five of those tiles. Hmm. That doesn't. It doesn't really help me because there's different color ones in there. Anyway, he walks out with a pile of money. Oh, you don't know the colors of tiles? I don't understand. Oh. You're missing a lot about this movie. I watched out of black and white tones. I challenge you to a Majong game. Speaking of which, we just saw Fred Durst playing backgammon at a

restaurant. Yeah. We kind of bury the lead, Paul. Is this Cockney rhyming slang?

I don't get any of that you just said. We were, side story, everyone. Fast forward 35 seconds,

and you will no longer hear the story. Matt and I went over to Chibo, a restaurant across from Meltown,

and we sat down. We were having a nice dinner. Between Between podcast. Yeah, between podcast meal.

And to our right, I see a gentleman put a case on the table. And I'm like, oh, what's going on over here? Case opens up. Backgammon table. You're thinking, he clears a table, says something to a waiter. All of a sudden, multiple tables are put together. It's down. There's a girl there that's just crayoning.

I'll call that. What's not drawing. Oh, yeah, because they have those jars with the crayons. with the crayons and then... He's waxing. And she looked to be 24 maybe. Very attractive young lady.

Love a lip work. Sits over there next to Backgammon empty table with a backgamon. I'm like, who's going to be sitting at this amazing table that features backgammon crayons? We're expecting Louis Jourdan from Octopus City.

And all of a sudden I see a gentleman with a baseball hat that is too old to be wearing a baseball hat, and I say to Matt, is that Fred Durs? And I say to Matt, I believe it is. Now, my question is for Matt. Was he wearing the baseball cap backwards, Fred Durst's style? I don't think he was.

No, he had it on forwards. He's grown up a little bit. Yeah. He's grown up a little bit. Is that his little disguise? If I wear it backwards, everyone's going to recognize me. This way I can go out incognito. But you just, I walk out there.

He was Sasha first. Right. Didn't you feel a little dirty? You feel a little dirty after you said. see Fred Durst, and I don't know what it is. But the disconnect of Fred Durst and Backgammon... Also, yeah, a child joined the table as well as another gentleman. And this appeared to me like Fred Durst family time.

Fred Durst dinner with the family. Maybe so. However, he just sat on the other side of the table with that other gentleman, and they played backgammon during family time. Look, everyone spends family time differently. Yeah. Fred Durst spends it at Cheebo playing Backgammon. During my family time, I will sit at the table with my family at dinner, but I will face my chair the other way. I'll eat my meal off my lap.

But we're all together, and everyone loves it. He does that sometimes, too, to give the appearance that has had it backwards. That's right. Yeah, I'll put my clothes on backwards. That was the longest 35 seconds of my life. Welcome back. Welcome back, fast forwarders. There's also a two-minute button on Dempcast.

Believe me, I know. All right. So, okay, so Sylvia Trench, we meet James Bond, the favorite. The famous line is uttered, Bond, James Bond. Yes. The music cue happens. Appropriate time for the music cue, right?

We'd all agree. It's an appropriate... Perfect time, Monty. Great. Great. We introduced James Bond. The next time. Uh-oh.

That music cue happens. He's walking through an airport. Yeah. He's just walking through an airport. Isn't the next time he's walking through a hotel lobby? Yes. Checking his messages. It's walking music.

It's amblin. People in the audience are saying, oh my God, could you imagine being in a hotel? Or that close to an airport? What is that like? What is that like? He used a paper. He's just walking.

He got a message. That, yeah, to me, that was a very interesting. But what I, immediately what you see with Connery is sort of, we haven't even gotten to the part where he gets his Walther PPP. But I think just the size of Sean Connery, just the size of him as a human being. He's a big boy. He's somehow lean, though, too. That's the crazy thing.

Yeah, he's like, like, I would like him to a Hugh Jackman of our time. Absolutely, yeah. He's like in peak physical condition. And I was saying to Matt Goreley last night, it's so weird to see him that young. I haven't seen him that young in a while. And he almost doesn't look like himself because we got so used to this sort of. of mid period, Sean Connery. And then the older Sean Connery is so familiar as well.

But when he's seeing that young, it's like, oh, my God, of course. He had to have been a young person at one point. But he's still like, it's weird how young and old he looks at the same time. Yeah, he doesn't look. Was he 33 in this? Yeah. I think. Yeah.

It's what? I know. Yeah. He looks simultaneously older and younger than that. Yeah. It's a very, it's wild. It's really wild to see him just like, he's very vibrant and very like, you You see why he got this job.

He looks like this guy. And immediately, just immediately, he walks into the office. He just sits down next to Monty, Monty Penny's lap, essentially, and just starts sweetly talking to her. I'm like, holy shit, this guy is fucking charming. Yeah. Yeah, he's the most charming person I've ever seen. Like, immediately. And then we meet RM, who will be RM up through Moonwraker.

Yeah. He is with us for quite a while. and I love Bernardi. He's so, he's, he's, he's, there's something about him that's so English, I want to say. Yeah, yeah. Like it's so, like, like, but there's like different levels, forgive me, anyone listening in the UK, but I feel like there, or you might agree with me, there are different levels of English people. Sure. Like there are different levels of English people.

You have your, your, your, your Jeremy Clarksons, your Hugh Grant. Well, if a country ever had a class system. Yeah, it's almost as if they have a system of class. Yeah. That guys, I don't think that's it. I really don't think that's it. I feel like there's just different types of English people. But he, Bernard Lee, to me, whenever I think of an English grandfather, that that would be who I picture.

Yeah, he's amazing. He's amazing. He's got a pipe. That line, it's 3 a.m., when do you sleep? I have vowed to just one day have a study with double quilted doors, leather quilted doors. That's what made the end. They're two-plied doors. That's what made the end of Skyfall so satisfied to me.

That door. Yeah. Oh, did that door make a reappearance? Oh, I had no idea. Yeah, they sort of reset everything. I did not know. That made that get very gratifying. But Skyfall, of course, will be our next episode.

Don't worry about it. We're moving from the front to the back. Yeah, take it easy, guys. Why is everybody yelling? We need to know. We need to know. Stop yelling into your earblots. Bloods.

Oh, dear. That's what's happened to my ears. Oh, my God. Oh, you're yelling. So, the world's greatest secret agent, all you need to do to break into his apartment, apparently, is be a woman. He should have put a hair on his apartment. He probably forgot. I mean, it's a very easy thing.

If you get in the habit of putting a hair on your apartment, after a while, if you're in a rush, you might forget it because you feel like you already did it because you've done it so many times. Then he just starts placing it at the center of the door. It drops in the hallway Yeah, she That was That was crazy There's this long discussion With his boss

About what kind of gun he can and cannot have And how dangerous it is to have this other gun And very in detail discussion Of the proper equipment for spying He goes home There's just a lady there Playing golf Yeah

The line to insult Sean's gun Sean Connery's gun, Boothroyd, named after the guy who was, as far as I'm concerned, the first internet commenter. That's what we said last night.

That's exactly what Matt said last night. No, that's, that's, I agree with you 100%. Yeah. We got to take a talk about this guy break. The world's first internet commenter. This is a guy who was reading and enjoying the works of Ian Fleming. I say this is stopping.

But he was not enjoying them fully. What's this? Page 34 line. 12. Words for... You'll see, James Bond breaks out his beretta. How do you feel about this? Beretta? Why?

What how do you mean? So this, this, gentlemen, this... A barrietta. What? No, that's really well. What the devil? Crumbens over there. You got a...

Ladies handbag. I've spent all... morning parting my mustache. Hold on a second. Yes. For the listener. There's this guy, James Boothroy?

Jeffrey Boothroyd. Who is a weapons expert. He's reading this book and he's saying, well, this type of guy would not carry that type of gun because X, Y, and Z writes to Ian Fleming and says, excuse me, but

I don't think that your secret agent would be carrying a Beretta. And Ian Fleming's says, oh, all right. And so they strike up a correspondence, right? And they start talking to each other. And then from that point on,

James Bond, the character carries the Walther PPPK. But we saw on there's got to be a million editions of these movies, right? Yeah. Yeah. But this and the last one both have that. Oh, okay. It's basically a normal special feature.

On the special feature of Dr. No, there's a visit with the actual Jeffrey Boothroyd. It's like five minutes long. Oh, and it's absolutely worth your time. This guy is a weird. He's like a cartoon character. He's got this thick, bushy mustache that is parted in the center. So much so that there's a, like, a river of skin.

It's not even just parted. There's a gap. There's a divide. He's got male pattern baldness on his upper lip. He does. And he's talking about these guns. And then when he demonstrates the kind of holster that you should have, you know, if you don't have a shammie leather, because a gun would get caught on it.

wouldn't get out, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he favors the, rather than the shoulder holster, the stout leather. Stout leather. Which is a knox on it, and it's very solid, and it's not a, it's not shammie leather at all. And he says, I'll demonstrate how easily the gun can get out. I'll do a quick draw on you. So he's like looking at the camera and he says, that's a quick draw where it is like, oh my God.

We watch it like more. I couldn't stop watching it. He, the look on his face, he puts this. look of intensity in his face and he goes for the gun and he does like this little hop where it's the slowest quick draw you've ever seen and I at one point I drew my imaginary gun

and shot him. It is absolutely worth seeking out if you don't have the DVD rent it's got to be on you. Just order it for Netflix. But what you're forgetting to mention is that when he's talking about the shami leather holster and the stout leather holster he's got a holster drawer

and all of this is taking place in his fucking living room. So then he He opens a drawer and there's just literally a drawer full of random holsters, some on belts, some knot. Yeah, it's like a junk drawer. He walks over to some kind of like credenza and says, oh, yeah, well, I'll show you what it's like to shoot. He opens up this fine English louis-catured credenza or something, and there is a target just busted wood in there. He's shooting things in his own living room. It's amazing.

He's insane. Yeah. He's an insane person. This is, had YouTube been around in the 60s, you would be not robbed of millions of hours of this. Because I feel like that's what everybody was like. And they all would have made everything. Oh, my God. If that guy had been alive during...

If YouTube had been around while that guy was alive, how many great videos would he have posted? Oh, he'd have a history channel show. He would be on Tosh more than Tosh. Anyway, Jeffrey Boothroyd. Here's a shitty fat pun. But Fleming names Q after him. Major Boothroy, his name, his... I mean, the first guy in Dr. No isn't Desmond Llewellyn who plays cube.

He's got that weird accent. I couldn't figure away like I was supposed to be from. It was like, anytime I don't know our accent, I'm sure it's Welsh. It's Welsh or South Africa. But this is, he not only abided this guy, but he named a character after him. Which I think is exactly what happened to Gene Roddenberry and Jordie LaForge. Really? He got a letter from a handicapped fan saying how much he loved Star Trek and then he

He loved that, you know, in the future, maybe his handicap wouldn't be so much of an issue and that he could probably maybe serve on the Enterprise. So, Jordy LaForge, was named after a guy named Jordy. I did not know that. Wow. So they gave him the handicap of being blind. Now, see, that's a lovely story. Right.

But I think that Ian Fleming was probably scared of this guy and all his guns. I say, old boy, how about that I'm a character of you? Whatever you say? Yes, I suppose. that'll do for now. I'm hungry. Make me a sorry. We are also talking about what it must be like to be married to this guy because he's so

properly English and you know he's just so regretful. He couldn't be in the Boer Wars or something and comes home and just if dinner's not on the table. It's 601. Why isn't dinner on the table? That guy, if I remember correctly, seems just old enough to have not been able to serve in World War II. Yes.

Like he must have been so bummed out. He probably missed both the Great War and World War. He probably is the kind of a gentleman that would have sat on his roof with a rifle ready for any German blame that came here. It's World War II, but he's wearing a doughboy World War I. He pulls a handkerchief out of his sleeve at one point. To demonstrate how shitty the shammie leather, that confused me. Because it could snag. I was like, what?

Okay. But why don't you show us with the holster? No. He's like shammie leather. Might be a handkerchief. Anyway, you wouldn't know gun stuff. What I say? You're not as quick with meals as last night's wife.

The fire shot her. With a Ruger 275. This is an appropriate gun to shoot a woman. That was a good Boothroy detour, you guys. All right. So, James Bond's got his gun. James Bond's at the airport. James Bond arrives in Jamaica.

Beautiful Jamaica. We see Hawaii 5O himself. Jack Lord. Cat glass fever. He is wearing the craziest sunglasses. They're not crazy for a woman. Well, honest to God, I think they're not, they go beyond just looking like they might be ladies' sunglasses.

They are something other entirely. Like, it was like a prototype sunglass that did not catch on. Like, they're so prominently on this guy's face when we first see him. And I'm sure people thought, we're going to make a mint on these sunglasses. and then nobody one of them. Because if you look like you were an alien trying to pretend to be a human. Here's Jack Lord's thought.

I know what to do. I'm going to pick out the sunglasses myself. He's a spy. Don't want to see his face, right? Yeah, Jack, that's great. You might want to think about the... Nope. Can I ask this?

If you could find a pair of them, would you wear them? Out? Yes. Would you wear them out? No. They are too... They are too large.

They are too large. It's not even I, like, I would... The biggest I go is the Steve McQueen-Thomas Crown Affair sunglasses. That is the biggest I will go. I'll do some Lou Wassermans. It's not that I'd be worried that I would be... Like, I'd be fine going out and thinking, oh, these are eccentric. But there's just no question in today's world.

People go, well, he's just wearing women sunglasses. I don't know why he's doing that. Does he know? Maybe they would not think, oh, he's being really hip. They would think, oh, he just doesn't know. You would expect the arm of the glasses would be curved up into the frame, like those little... Do you think that's what happened with Jack Lord? Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe they look really different from the back. They are his prescription, so he never sees them as they. Yeah, the only way he can get a good look at them is when they're on his face. Who looks in the mirror with sunglasses?

No one. No one. It's too dark inside. Yeah. Except if you're wearing mirrored sunglasses. Ah. Section! So here's Felix Leiter.

They have some chat about Spilix Lider. I think Jack Lord is my favorite Felix Lider. I was saying last night, I don't know what it is. I feel like he's too Jack Lord. He's walking around conscious of himself. It's kind of what I liked about it. I get it. I just enjoyed seeing Jack Lord in a tropical setting for all of them.

It's fun, right? Yeah, for a change. Change. Gosh. You didn't like it? Well, I don't mind him. you're really you're really

see here's the thing I know I'm supposed to I know he's supposed to be my favorite Is he though? Is that the consensus? Yeah All right But you know

What do you think because of Hawaii 5O Is that why people like him Because he never see him in anything else Is this before or after? This is this is before Oh it's before Yeah Yeah

Yeah So this I mean did people know him at this point? I'm sure he had been in some things But I don't think he was a name Yeah I found out from a friend of mine who went to one of those autograph

expos like that they have at the Beverly Garland Hotel. Ironically, right? No, I think he was going there for, I forget what he was going there. But, I mean, there's a million different things that you can get there. And there was one booth that had old contracts, you know, old Hollywood contracts.

And he saw Jack Lord's contract for the first season of Hawaii 50. He got paid $1,000 a week. Which is exactly what Harrison Ford got for Star Wars. Oh, really? We were just talking about this. There's a dinner over back. I just interviewed Harrison Ford with nerdist.

It hasn't come out yet. And I said to Harrison Ford, I said, wow, $1,000, that's pretty good money for the 70s. And he just looked at me like I was the most insane person in the world. So I immediately just went, yeah, but like $1,000 in the 70s, like a billion dollars, right? Then he laughed and then said, you weren't alive then and went back to being very dry. Now, I, my first show business job was Mr. Show. My first big job. And I never made, I made just shy of $1,000 a week.

And I could not believe it. Oh, God. Yeah. Like that was, so, hey, Harrison Ford. Yeah. Yeah. You were making people bookshelves. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. So that's nothing to seize at. I still feel like there is a majority of the population that would be thrilled to this day. With $52,000 a year. I wouldn't say no to it now.

You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. How much are we getting for this? It's a podcast, so we'll lose money. We've all already lost money on this. Yes. We're actually just, gas is expensive.

It's coming out. It's just coming out everywhere. Fair enough. Somewhere, somewhere, Scott Ackerman gets a check. I don't know how it happens. Okay. Well, then they, yes. Say this is an editor point.

I have about 15 minutes. Okay. Go. And then I got to go. All right. Is there anything? Okay. So Paul, Paul has to run?

Well, no, no. I do have 15 minutes, but I didn't want to, I know we were getting, but let's talk to you. Let's talk to you, but what, is there anything in particular with this, with this movie that you would like to point out, or a sequence in which you would like to go, this was ridiculous. My first question was, is this the first time, or is this the only time James Bond ever sings in a James Bond movie? That's right. Yes.

And we couldn't think of another time. Oh, I can't imagine him ever doing that again. Yeah. He got it out of the way early. He whistles, but that's all I can think. Yes. He whistles that code and is it Moonraker? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I will say this.

Very nice singing voice, John Conner. Yeah, he's not bad. Not bad at all. And Ursula Anders, too. If it were her voice. Oh. Used up by Glenn Close. Was that not her singing? It was not her voice the entire movie. No, oh, I didn't know that.

The whole time she was overdue? Most of the Bond girls are dubbed. Almost everybody is dubbed. I did notice that, yeah. There's a lot of... Goldfinger, Gert Frobe is not... That one I knew. My favorite dubbing in all of the James Bond movies.

Lana Wood is dubbed. I didn't know that. Yeah. I knew that would break your heart specifically. Sorry, go ahead. Sorry, I think about this for a moment. But my favorite dubbing in the history of James Bond movies is the captain or leader of that team on the boat.

He's got the whitest voice possible. Yes. He's basically Edward G. Robinson. Also, at the end, when he says, let's go or move out, puts the megaphone down. Audio does not change whatsoever. Exactly. Whatsoever. Let's go.

We've machine gunned the beach. Nothing happened. All right. Well, we'll be back and you'll get yours. We're bringing a dog. We'll be back with a dog. The production value overall is, like they

obviously there's way less fantastical stuff in this one the first time out than there will be later on and so you can see that they they absolutely did the best with what they had and things were real and like there's a scene where you know Bond is sitting talking to

quarrel when he first meets him and he's just like covered in sweat like it was clear like there's like we're not going to mop them down between each take just it's hot here people will understand quarrel by the way for me, and I even wrote this down, immediately

the most likable character I have ever seen in my life. He is so charming. He is, he starts out really charming and likable, but then as the movie goes on, they make him this sort of minstrel, you know? It's like, he gets progressively more cowardly as the movie goes on.

And believes in mystices or dragons and, you know. The fact that, you know, we hear about this dragon and then Ursula Andrus is like, yeah, they're totally as a dragon. And then when we see the dragon, It's so obviously a vehicle of some kind with headlights. And you can see even in the dark, well, that's paint. They've painted teeth on it.

As a child, when I first saw that movie, I got kind of excited that there was possibly going to be a draft. I'd forgotten that that's what it was. And I was like, oh, what is this going to be? This should be really clever. And that's what it was. It's just like some all-terrain vehicle that shoots fire. Nothing is shot at night. Everything is day for night.

Absolutely. No doubt. Hard shadows every room. there are cloud coverage in the night that would never exist in nature. But I will say the as as crazily

cheap as it seems by today's standards for a movie of that size, right? The acting in it is largely pretty good. Like everybody commits to everything they're doing. And you were talking about Connery doing the rear projection

acting. Everybody in the movie absolutely goes for it. You can't fault anyone. And everybody's pretty good, right? Joseph Wiseman was a theater actor. He was really fun to watch. I think he was very good. I think there really is, you sort of see

some sort of real trauma that happened to him, not other than his hands. I'm talking about the character of Dr. No. But this is like a bigger thing that these movies have always been conscious of really good casting. Like putting good people. Well, I shouldn't say that.

Well, later it sort of got away. them a bit. But also part of the reason this movie's so great is the acting, but the production design, even though they didn't have much money, but Ken Adam, oh my God, I'm in love with that.

That room, that Dent walks into. That was an afterthought. Huge ceiling and that beautiful shadow. That was an afterthought. It's gorgeous. I would have liked to have seen more stuff like that in the movie of, you know, just that the disembodied voice of Dr. No and so calm,

and here's what you're going to do, and go sit in that, go sit in that chair that's all the way over there, and then go to that table that's all the way the other side of the room. It's really, it really creates a mood and a sense of menace, and you don't know what's going to happen. It's terrific. Was there any part of you that when Ursula Anders and Sean Connery get taken

and they end up in that hotel essentially? That's what we called it a spa. Any part of you that was like, isn't that bad? It's not bad. I might just let him do what he's doing. What is it, by the way? He's just making some rockets not go? No one's dying.

Right? Yeah. He just seems to be embarrassing people. It was like a bankruptcy. So you're telling me this guy will not kill anyone unless they try to go on his property. I think you could talk me into staying here. Also, the fact that he encouraged, he drinks this coffee and encourages her to drink this coffee. He's not as good at spying as you imagine James Bond is. Although, was that really poison or delicious medicine that has? help them rest up.

I did notice, too, that after Bond is asleep and Dr. No creepily lists his covers to look at him or something? Yes. What yet that scene? What is that scene? Yeah, I think that's sort of just him going like, I need to see this man. It's great. It's so weird and unsettling. It's great.

But that they've put Bond and Honey Rider in separate beds. Well, my house, my rules. Keep up appearances. When you're under my roof. I don't see any rings on any fingers. We only just got your sizes last night. Oh, my God. Real line from the movie.

This is the best fucking villain place in the world. I want their sizes. First thing. Get jacket, also shirt, sleeve length, in seam. Hat size unnecessary. And remember, in seams, I want one inch on either side. Three pairs of each pants. No cuff unless there's pleats.

Sizes first, nation secret, second. But yes, the staff, the staff of that hotel, you know, we go to a lot of hotels. We're around. I want to go there. They're terrific. It's like the W in Singapore. We were wondering, how much do they know about what this guy does? Like, what his whole thing is?

They don't seem to have a stake in it. They just have a job to do, you know? And that is treat these people like kings just short of ever letting them go. Yeah. Otherwise, what? They're out on the beach looking for shelves to. sell for $50. Provide the

best service in the world. Like, that really, I just wanted to be there. Remember, I'll be reading

the comment cards. Would you stay here again, Mr. Bond? Sorry, we missed you. You had the

do not disturb sign on your door. What if when he comes in and you don't see his face in just his hands, he's put a little

chocolate on the He's going to be very careful. He doesn't crush it to bits. How? All right, since we're essentially on the island now. Yeah. Favorite reaction shot of the movie, Ursula Andrews, reacting to James Bond, needlessly murdering a man. Yes.

Needlessly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't have to, nope, didn't have to do it. Yeah. But her reaction shot. But then she's horrified by this, right? And she's like, why did you do that? It's pretty obvious to why I did.

then later on she tells a story about how she poisoned someone Hold on a second These people were trying to kill us They shot at us They came back with dogs to sniff us out Like what do you think that guy I'm gonna reason with him Of course I had to kill him

You think he wasn't gonna rape both of us Yeah you poisoned someone you just didn't like Because you had an idea of what he was gonna get up to But yeah the reaction I feel like they When they were cutting the film strip They like started like 30 frames early What was she was her reaction?

She just, she does, yeah, she, she does. There's just like a real, real long buildup of nothing. Right. Like just her face. Basically the direction was, keep reacting and we'll take a slice of it. Yeah, probably. Honestly, I would not blame her for this. Yeah, you're probably right.

I would blame the anything. You're, you're 100% correct. Given how much walking we saw in this movie, I would say that everything could have been. And yet this movie is. heralded for its fast, brisk cutting and editing, cutting on movement, which you didn't do at that time, which now is normal. This movie, Peter Hunt, the editor,

he set the tone for, like, basically the born movies. It just took a while to get there. I'm saying it. Oh, it took a while. Come on. How about that harrowing directions-giving scene? That was so fast-paced. I wrote that down. Literally,

every turn to get from his hotel to her apartment is done. And they show him driving and the turns. It's literally show and tell. Show and tell. Yeah. He pulls into, when he goes through that quarry or whatever it is,

and you think, oh, well, he's reached his destination. No, he's halfway there. Because she's still talking. Yeah. Shock now. She's still giving more directions. And she's surprised to see him when he shows up because he's supposed to be dead, but who pointed out was a James last night or you?

Oh, yeah, me. All she had to do was at the end give him one wrong turn. Yeah. Yeah. She just needed to get him to the murder point. She need to actually get him all the way to her house. Yeah. Why?

Why did she do that? But also, this is a woman who comes out of the shower, not wearing a terry cloth robe, but a terry cloth dress. Right. Did you notice that? Right. It's like a gallon. There's a lot of terry cloth in this movie. With a zipper.

With a zipper too much, that he unzips it and does the no-hands things. And then there's a conscious, you can see the moment in James's head where I might as well fuck her. Like there's a moment where Sean Connery switches and goes like And you know there is There is a moment in there that is That retains the sort of brutish Flavor of James Bond from the books

Right because in the book he's kind of a brute Yeah And like you see him be kind of a jerk to her Right It's like I want to do this I don't care with you I want to go out for dinner What are you doing?

Who cares? You shut up I'm calling a cab Yes You know and it's weird that you start to think I wish he's being Italian He's being very rude And then he realized Well she did try to kill him

It's true. It's fair. This one time. This one time. Justified. It's justified. So, okay. So from there, we end up, they go to Crabkee.

Jack Lord leaves to get the Navy. Jack Lord's complaining the whole time. Angry. Angry. Making fun of how much quarrel has been drinking. Yeah. If the dragon comes, breathe on him. That's what Jack Lord says.

Which would really just kill him as well. Yeah. It would just blow up the island. So, all right. I'm sorry, everybody. I wrote down what the gentleman says when he takes the megaphone away from himself. Full speed ahead. Full speed ahead.

All right. So two white people playing Asian in this movie. Yeah. At least one says he's half Asian. Right. But the other one, there is no explanation for this blue-eyed woman who has some false eyelashes on. She has these, like, eyelid makeup appliances. Yeah, and then, like, pull, yeah.

And then they have, like, they're pulling her skin back. Plus, there are Asian women in the Doctor No Hotel. Yeah. That are doing such a fine job of acting that I tried to book the hotel. That's true. Because they're so Asian. Oh, hello. Oh, you don't exist.

Okay, so I loved their... Oh, I wrote down For a super villain He is the most cautious with radiation Mm-hmm Those Yeah

The crazy suits everybody was wearing With the weird flat tops Flattop helmets Yep But then the That whole sequence With them going through the shower To get the radiation

scrubbed off of them that it's almost terrifying that people knew that little about how deadly radiation was that the audience is supposed to say, oh, okay, well, that was a close one. They almost got irradiate to death, but they scrubbed it off of them. Because the first thing to do is go up to them with what amounts to, like, putting up a billboard with some glue. They just scrub them once on their clothes. On their clothes, right, right, right. And they don't even rinse off, and then they check them again.

go, oh, the clothes are contaminated, we better get rid of them. I think it went through. I think some seep through the clothes. Yeah, I think the nuclear power was exciting back then. I will say that. I think Dr.

Nell, of all of the James Bond villains, I think he was the most I'm sorry, good. I just think it was the most procedural, conscientious. The most organized if you will. Oh, absolutely, yeah.

And hands on. He was right there in the control room. Oh, yeah. Running the show. He had no one do anything for him. Yeah, he was on a tower giving orders. He overcame his handicap. If anything. James Bond is the villain. Well, also, James Bond's big plan once he infiltrates the reactor room or whatever.

You accidentally said plan. Well, he gets in there. He gets the suit on, and then he just kind of looks around for a little bit. Grab the clubbards. Grabbs his sheep of papers and then just goes and sort of stands by Dr. No.

Until Dr. No says, what are you doing here? Get over there. He's like, all right. Then he's there right near the danger level lever. The danger wheel. It's a danger wheel. A guy operating the danger wheel is inexplicably in a suit that is just puffed full

of air. For some reason, he needs oxygen. It's an opaque suit. You can see he's wearing a nice short sleeve shirt and some navy blouse. A lot of powder blue. Probably like a lacotter. situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably, but just the clear marking of danger.

Yeah. Also. You really can't miss it. Also, I also loved the signs that said what each person was checking on. Yes. Yeah. Weather. Lunch sandwiches.

And first I take it as well, those guys just had to yell across the room. Yes. It's good with weather. Yeah. It's fine. It's me. I'm waving. Danger man Weather on the ones

We're not in danger Thorland Oh pardon me You realize The danger wheel Is turned up too high Do you think he enjoys talking That way

Do you think he Because it's fun to do Do you think it's fun for him Do you think he just says stuff Into the mirror What do I sound like When I say this Hello hello

What do I sound like It's the most McPherson strut suspension He doesn't even Attempt in English accent No, I will say this is the most he's attempted in his accent. It's crazy. He's sort of, like, the Scottish really comes out sometimes,

but he does, for the most part, he tries to sound in a little bit. Which is funny, because if you ever rewatch D. D.R. Piersd. Sort of gives up and is just Irish. He just, he gives up in a few ways. He's done. He's done. And he just starts irishing.

Yeah. That's what I'll call it. J.D. Powell and the show shit. Three years in a row. Car and driver Ten Bestlish. Step aside, Brian Ungar. How the stage got their names.

Swamp people. Ice road truckers. Pondstache. Duck Dynasty. American Restoration. We're almost there, you guys. Pondstash. Did you do that way?

Yeah, I did. Storage wash. Ancient aliens. Top Chef All-Stash. Season 5 of celebrity apprentice. Shark Nato. I meant she's in Shevin.

Sorry. Catfish, the TV show. The real world road rules challenge. We have a winner. The real housewives of San Diego. Did they do a San Diego?

They just did. For Comic Con? For Comic. The Real Housewives of Comic Con? I have about that show. Yeah, so let's see. He defeats Dr.

And the movie ends. Boom. Ruins his plan. That quickly. That quickly. Oh, yeah. It blow up the fort. Not only that, but...

Getting a boat over. Nobody who worked on that movie got credit. The credits... No, that's... Well, they're all in the beginning. There's a lot of credits in the beginning. It is nowhere like it is today. Yeah.

Everything's in the beginning. But they did establish another hallmark of the series, which would be bond in some sort of mode of conveyance with a lady. Right. Doing it. They're just doing it. It's like, hey, this boat is going to tow us to safety. Let's let the rope go.

No, we should, we should, we should fuck. Let's have the most uncomfortable sex we could have on the bottom of this rowboat. We could easily go back to, I don't know, a hotel. In Jamaica. The beach? The beach. Yeah. Not to imagine, let's let's let go of the rope and maybe drift towards that horrible radiation cloud that has just been.

Oh, no, that's like 70 feet away. That can't affect them. I also... Why have my hands fallen off? Did you guys notice the... Did you guys notice when they get into the boat, there's two gentlemen in the boat already. Yes, no, I didn't notice.

James Bond has to dispense with them. Yeah. One excellent extra does not quite fall out of the boat the entire way. Yeah. And stays there until Sean Connery then goes, well, I better get him out. Yeah, he knocks the one guy out. Like literally knocks him out of the boat.

Right, right. The other guy is just knocked unconscious. Sean Connery dumps him overboard. Like, oh, that guy's not awake. He's a killer. Yeah. Better take care of this. James wrote me an email today because we're talking about that.

James Bladen. Yeah. Not James Bond, you guys. No. He's not alive. Jimmy Blades. We watch this movie. We watch.

And there's this controversy over whether James Bond is too ruthless when he shoots dent in the back in that room. He kills him once and then he. shoots him again in the back. Right. But James made the point. He's not licensed to defend himself. Right.

He can kill whomever he chooses. He's an assassin. When he chooses. But the contention is that... The contention is that second shot, right? Does he really need to do that? He's already put him down. And we, as the audience, are conditioned to think,

especially at that time, oh, he's dead. Yeah. So then he shoots him again and there's this horrible jerk, you know, where he reacts to the second shot. Like bedding that woman. when this guy tried to kill him. He put a tarantula in his room. But I would argue.

I'm not pro-Dent, believe. Oh, okay. I would argue, though, that there was still information to be called from Dent. Oh, yeah. Because he asks, who do you work for? Tons more. Yeah, who do you work for? He won't answer him.

I'm just going to kill you then. Did you put that tarantula in my bed? I can shoot you in the niche, but I won't. I'm going to check you for tarantula, Pritch. All right, we know you got to get out of here. I do, I'm sorry. Paul F. Tompkins, thank you for being our first guest. Guys, thank you. I hope I was a good one.

You were great. And we needed this because Dr. No, I feel like our spirited conversation in some ways makes this seem like a more exciting movie. But we're going to have you back for Live and Let Die. I would love to come back for Live and Let Die, which was my first Bond film than I ever saw. One of my favorites, and we talked about that are birth year movies. Mine was Live and Let Die. What was, what year were you born? 68.

Oh, so you were between Sean Connery and George Lazenby. You're on her majesty's secret service minus one. Oh, really? Yeah, we're no longer using the Gregorian calendar. We're just saying names of James Bond movies. Sure. And then plus her minusing a year. God, I hope they keep making them.

Yeah, I was born in Octopussy. Sorry, guys. Yeah. What year was James Bond born? I guess he was born in Dr. No. That's right? If you're going by the cinema, James Bond, that was 62. and I think he was supposed to be around 33,

so you do the math, literally because I can't. He was born in 1929. All right. Wow. There we go. Okay. Wow. Paul?

We've done it. Thank you. Thank you, guys. We have James Bonded. We have. We'll end everyone like that. I thank you. Thanks for listening.

Download the next one. Wait, do we need to say anything else? Do we need to, like, wrap it up? We can wrap it up. Yeah, we'll wrap it. You get out of here. Go perform an hour of stand-up for people who think they're seeing

Sarah Silver do. That's right. Go disappoint some people initially. And then maybe win them all right to end? Bye, Paul. Thank you, guys. Bye.

Paul has acted like he's left, but he's secretly hiding in the room. Just to listen in it. Very odd. So, let's do a post-mortem. Let's post-mortem. Okay. What do we want to talk about

segment-wise? The villain, what he could have done? Yeah. All right. Normally, our guest would participate in this segment. Yeah. Again, we are open to jingles. Right. If you want to send in a jingle, this segment is called,

What the Villain Could Have Done to Be Successful. Not the best name thing. Those are great lyrics for a song, too. Yeah, it's not going to rhyme. So, obviously, Dr. Knows' Plan, as we found out during the show, which I was still confused by, is, just to get the mercury rockets to tumble.

He wanted to be a nuisance. Yeah. He just wanted to annoy the American government. I don't think it would be as simple as him killing Bond because that would have brought a lot of heat down on this area. Oh, the Marines would have swarmed in, yes. Yeah. Absolutely.

So he's got to... And he can't move up his timetable at all because he has to do it when the rocket is launching. Right. So he kills straying ways in the beginning. Yeah. That's what sets all this in motion. Hmm.

What he's got to do is kill him but make it look like an accident. I think even then, in the words of our great friend Glenn Fry, the heat is on. Even then. I wasn't prepared for that at all. I can't refute the Glenn Fry. He had the smuggler's blues. No, so I think what Dr. No, do? What can Dr. No do? I guess if he had built a better prison, he would have been successful because the rocket would have tumbled before the Jack Lords got there.

I'm just calling it an army of Jack Lords, the Jack Lords. Okay, yeah. Who, by the way, are dressed exactly like you are right now. Oh, I see what you're saying. All of the Jack Lords on that boat are wearing jeans, some boat shoes. and the blue shirt, which is exactly what Matt Goreley decided to wear to our podcast. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

You seem so sad about it. I know, I feel pretty good about it. I think it looks great. I look good. We should mention what your shirt says. It says, M.V. Disco Volante. Look at that. It's the only James Bond shirt.

I shouldn't feel bad about being a James Bond nerd on a James Bond podcast, but somehow I do a little bit. Own it. Own it. It's what they wear on the Thunderbird. Listen, I have the Omega C-Master that James Bond wore from Golden Eye right on through Casino Royale. You've got that money clip from... I also have the money clip from Cuantu of Salas.

If I can find something James Bondian that he actually used, I will purchase it. What I won't do is buy the watches that, like, Omega makes a special edition Skyfall watch for instance. Right, yeah. And what they have on them is instead of seven, it says double. 007, which if you're spending $7,000 on that, you have too much money. Get the 007 Cologne, if you're that concerned. Oh, get the shampoo?

Get that. Okay, for the record, we're just going to do a little bit of statistic work here. For the record, the James Bond theme is queued. How many times do you think it was queued, man? I'll say, including the opening titles? Yep. Five. Correct. What?

That was a guess. I'm not that. I'm not that fantastic. The James Bond theme is cued five times. The most impressive thing that James Bond does when this is cued is... Say his name. Yes. Yes.

I would have also accepted check for messages at the hotel lot. That is the other answer I would have accepted. Oh, I like this. I like that you quiz me. Yeah. Now, of course, James Bond personal killings. Let me guess. Can I guess?

Do you know? You have it written? Oh, I don't. have it written, but you can guess, and then I'll try and verify or deny you. Well, he kills the chauffeur. How many people are in that car he runs off the road? I don't know. I just always assumed it was the three blind mice again.

And he kills probably numerous people on that island when it blows up. Don't talk about the island. All right, I would say he's got, plus he kills... You're saying he's got at least ten. Yeah, I would say, yeah. At least ten killed under those. Pretty bloody. Pretty bloody.

He drinks a medium dry vodka martini, shaking, nut stirred. Which is the first change by martini. And they drink Red Stripe beer in here. Red Stripe, because they are in Jamaica. Yeah. And apparently Red Stripe is actually in Jamaica. Right, that's correct. I had no idea until I saw this movie.

The other fun thing about James Bond sort of becoming his own sort of I don't even know. He's not even a character. James Bond is sort of like beyond... A icon. A character. Yes, the iconography of James Bond is really all established in this movie. Yeah, and it's not blown out of proportion in later movies. Everything about this man.

They drink champagne, too, they don't pair you out. Yes. And that guy pours it forever, 53. Yeah. Yeah. It was a 55, right? Was it? I think it was like 53, and he prefers the 52.

No, he prefers 53? I think. We just watched this 12 hours, 24 hours ago. I mean, come on, we're not James Bond nerds. Yeah. But yeah, no, he drinks the Domper. He's at the club, cigarettes galore. I love when he gets there to Dr. No's hotel, hotel, spa, and murder resort.

To the Ohio Valley. They offer him cigarettes, Turkish, American, and UK. And what is, he must choose Turkish. I feel like he's used. Yeah. Unless at the time, I guess, maybe American cigarettes were the best cigarettes. Wow, who would have known? Who knows?

Who knows? He beds three women ostensibly because I guess he has to leave Sylvia Trench. Oh, he's got to put it in her. Yeah, well, he certainly does because he's with her the next movie. Yeah. And from Russia with love. Yeah. With his Bentley.

That's right. Where's my Bentley? Where's my Bentley? So overall, I think this sets the tone and is personally my personal favorite movie to throw on. My personal favorite movie to just sort of sit back and let it go. It's the pacing of the movie that I find so comforting. It's one of the ones I watch the least. Really?

Yeah. Because I find it to be a really solid film, but because it hasn't established any of the conventions and because it's not horrible. Yeah. Like, it's not great or horrible to me. and so I don't find it excited. I really, really enjoy the first 45 minutes of this movie. Like, I really do.

I almost never put it on. Wow. Yeah. Socially, of course. Yeah. What was I going to say? Oh, oh, oh, there's no henchman, really. Dent is kind of a henchman.

Yeah, I guess, yeah. But they hadn't really established that until the next film. The quirky sort of henchman. Yeah. Although, God damn, Robert Shaw. Oh, yeah, he's the best. And then you go from Robert Shaw to odd job. Yeah.

And then... Thunderball's pretty weak. Domino? As a henchman? Yeah. No. I mean, not Domino. What's the fucking...

What's the girl? Oh, yes. But I think of her as like a femme fatale. Oh, really? I think the henchmen in that is that kind of bald... Zinia on top to you is not a henchman. All right. You have a point.

Is that what you're saying to me? I don't know. But Fiona Volpe, I love her. Because they're a woman? Well, I'm giving her. her the compliment. Thunderball, by the way. She's classier than that.

Is the one I watched the least. Yeah, I don't watch that a lot. It's a lot of underwater stuff. But you'll get to that. Yeah, we've gotten ahead of ourselves. I didn't ask Paul about the May Day thing and Padgete

Brewster, but I will ask him when live and let die comes around. We have to do that, definitely. Yeah, because I've got to get an answer on that. And then the only thing that I can remember that's because I've read all the books but they run together and I think the main difference in the novel and

the movie is that Honey Rider, Ursula Anders, her name is Honey Child Rider which she got because her Jamaican maid raised her, I think her parents are killed and she's kind of like lives in a basement as a child and is like has, doesn't have a, she either has

like a book learning education but doesn't have social skills or it's the other way around like she's almost a half-wit and it makes it kind of weird in the book when he beds her, that he's kind of taking advantage of someone with, like, inferior intelligence. Wow. Yeah.

And she got real dark. I know, but she has... You could see a little bit of that in the film. There's a little bit of that with her getting the shells and her being so cautious of it and her being so excited about it being $50. In the book, she's more of like a Nell where she kind of has like a speech problem or something. I can't remember exactly what it is. I have to, I promise to research these things a little bit more next time.

But I think this was... a great first episode. Yeah, we did it. I think that James Bonding, Matt and Matt, is so far... It's bonded. A success. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's bonded and set. Now, tune in next week. We are actually going to be watching Skyfall. Let the sky fall. Let it crumble. So if you're listening to this episode, you didn't listen to our episode zero. What we're going to do is we're going to watch each movie, but we're going to go from both ends and meet in the middle.

at For Your Eyes Only We have some wonderful guests lined up We do not yet have a guest for Skyfall Because we've been thinking about it But should we say who some of the guests are we've got lined up Sure, yeah Well, we know we've got Padgett Brewster and probably Tom Lennon, Chris Hardwick

And Patrick are probably going to both be on the same episode Talking about a View to a Kill that's their favorite They're both very passionate about that Paul Shear is going to be doing On her majesty secret service Thomas Lennon wants for your eyes only Correct. Paul will be back for Live and Let Die.

Yes. But we have some other people in mind, and we're starting to... We really haven't done much administrative work on this podcast yet. So that's part of the reason. I think the reason we both agreed to do this podcast is because we didn't really have to do that much work on. Yeah, it's nice. It's a nice, nice thing. So it'll be a surprise who I guest is for Skyfall.

Yeah, we haven't quite booked that yet, so tune in next week. Probably. I mean, 90% chance is Daniel Craig, I think. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're tight. Me and I. Yeah.

I don't know if you know that about. No. We did a scene together. I would think I'd know that because he and I are so tight. Oh, you never mentioned. Why have we not in a mutual capacity? What if he doesn't know either of our last names? He thinks we're the same person.

And he just takes comfort in the fact that we're both named Matt. That's fair enough. See you next time. On James Bonding. Squiddly whirder. Now leaving nerdist. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast.

Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sound like a fancy college professor. Hate Nats. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of Menko. and one woman.

Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed. But Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch.

Jesus. I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3 of Hello from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.