James Bonding - GoldenEye with Craig Rowin

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Craig Rowin joins the Matts to finish out the Pierce Brosnan movies with GoldenEye! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. Oh, Gourley's going to pull the couch all the fuck out. Watch out, watch out, the wall's falling. And the wall falls down. Kanye West. While Matt Gourley was overseas in Scotland and the United Kingdom and Ireland, I believe he grew a pair and just now decides to do whatever the fuck he feels like. where he's moved the couch to the table.

Where in my beef and woman? We don't have a normal setup, guys. We're at the studio where we record or we tape at midnight. Hollywood Center Studios. Thank you, Craig. If you want to come to Hollywood Center Studios, Craig is terrified by the... It's just...

It'll just... It's fine. Uh, we usually start by playing the theme song, which is a great theme song written by Bono and Edge. Let's do it. Hold on. Wait up. Hang on. Sung by the forever young Tina Turner.

Ill-prepared at best. Are we really started, started? Well, we can start, start now. Okay, hold on. Let's start. Katie, drop this on at the end, and we'll see who really listens to this whole thing. Yeah. Like cut it and then just, no, don't even, don't even edit.

It's not even really edit. It's just snip. Here we go. Flop. Chills everywhere. Not even just the spine. I like it. I think I like this thing.

I love it. I think I like this. I'm not a huge. Um, come. Now here's on time. The song is too late. Yeah. Thank you.

You're absolutely right. Isn't there a line about watching you as a child? Yeah. Yeah. Very strange. Let's have a listen. There's also a part that sounds like it's going to go into wind beneath my wings. Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Yep. I've got a special alternative song tonight. Golden I. Okay. And here it is. Here's the weird. This is real. From the shadow.

as a child. Was she a child or was the person that she's singing to the child? Well, also, I know normally the song sentiment doesn't have to pertain to the movie. But I say there's no children in this movie. There's no James Bond we never see as a child. Maybe like when Alec and Jimmy were just starting, they were like children in MI 6. But it feels like Fagan from, is it great expectations that just watches

the kid his whole life. Yeah. Yeah. Hip. Definitely. Maybe that's what, maybe that's, maybe that's what

Bono and the Edge were thinking when they wrote this. Did Bono? Is it just, Bono and the Edge also did a song for Batman forever?

No, that was, that was, I know Seal had Seal recorded Kiss from a Rose. But I believe that there was a song on that soundtrack by Bono.

They're very well, maybe. Bono, of course, and the Edge, recently, very recently won a Golden Globe. Good for them.

Bravo, if you're listening. Recently, Unfortunately. Who? From each other. From each other? No.

That's awful. Split custody of the children. Joining us today is a very funny. You've seen his videos online. Hopefully you've checked out his podcast. I've been on it. And probably will be asked again to be on it. I mean, I have a really good feeling.

He also writes for at midnight. His podcast is called It's That Episode, which is a great premise and then I'll let Craig tell it. Ladies and gentlemen, Craig Rowan is here. Hi. Thank you.

That was a lengthy intro. It felt good. Oh, good. Yeah, the premise of the podcast quickly, if you're into TV, movies, you like James Bond, you like TV, you like movies. I invite a guest over.

We watch any TV show that they want to watch. We watch that show that they want to watch. We talk about it. We talk about a bunch of other crap. Matt shows out of any TV show. Guess what TV show? Star Trek?

Oh, wait, I remember hearing about this. It's some real cheesy kids show or something? No. What is it? No, close. You're not close, actually. You're nothing's close at all. He chose the big pawn stars.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah, you guys were all. Because, though, in that episode, they sold something Star Trek related? James Bond related. That was a coincidence. Oh, really? That was very coincidental.

What did they sell James Bond related? It was Vic Flicks Fender Stratica. Oh, that's right. Yeah. We talked about this. I believe we talked about this on this podcast. But I mean, the thing is, I've been staying with Matt for a little bit

and he's been watching I know Frazier nonstop he has a Frazier CD in his car that is like so you think anything would point to basically Frazier any of the other shows that he constantly talks about but he goes to pass the song

that's all posnips and turnips and no turnips and no it's tossed salad and scrambled eggs Matt goarly I'm actually disappointed in you like genuinely this is the first genuine disappointment I've had to express.

Look, it's a new year. I've reset the old hard drive and just letting new information in out with the old... Essentially, you just wiped your partition. Yeah, I'm not quite sure who you are. That 2013 partition gone. Speaking of that, we're back, everybody. We are back. It's been a while. It's been a long time.

But you know what? He needed to go out of the country. I needed to find myself. And a segue, there was a big gap between the last James Bond movie and this golden eye. Exactly, we're only doing it to keep consistent. Yeah, we're just letting you know what it felt like between 1989 and 1995. That's how we all fell. I mean, the Berlin Wall fell down.

So much changed. Right. If you want to know what changed, just watch the opening credits for Golden Eye. Yeah. Golden Eye. I decided, I like some children. That I'm only, is it okay if I did this during the podcast, I only say the title of the film through the song? I would appreciate it.

Okay. Having introduced that, I will be disappointed if you don't. No, I'm only going to say, go down that. But the things, I've literally had that stuck in my head since this movie came out. It's very catchy. It's super catchy, and I think that just is a testament to not only the unique vocal stylings of Ms. Tina Turner, but also the melody writing and lyrical ingeniousness of Bono in the Edge. You never know how I watched you from the shadows as a chance.

child. Only somebody named the edge could like that. Because it's edgy. It's really

edgy, you guys. Well, let's talk about this. What we like to do, Craig, when we have a guest on is we like to talk about which is every episode.

Except for one. We did one once. Even two. Two, we did two. Yeah. We like to ask you what your life

experiences with the world's greatest secret agent are. James Bond. With Austin Powers? Well, I guess it started. Did you watch any of it from the shadows as a child?

Yeah, that's the thing is I watched James Bond from the shadows as a child. That is actually quite true. No, well, I guess James Bond-wise, I watched a lot of the old Sean Connery ones when I was in the shadows as a child because my dad was a big James Bond film fan. Oh. So I remember once my mom, I think, may have gone out.

way on like a short trip by yourself or had to be out of town. And my dad twice we did movie marathons. One was a Pink Panther Marathon and one was a James Bond marathon. Oh, that's a good couple of days. So those were great days that are stuck in my memory. Good dad. So I remember watching, I think, the man with the golden gun, gold finger, you know, the classics.

The golds. The golds. And then, and my dad, one of the, my dad's only dating advice that he ever gave me is James Bond related. Oh, please. He said, never take a girl to see a James Bond film. That's what he said. Interesting.

Because I guess he had as a high school, you know. Sweetheart was taken away, buddy. Yeah. Meaning, meaning, like, she'll be put off by the misogyny or you could never live up to what? I think it's probably the misogyny. And I think maybe. I disagree.

I think your father's telling you that you're not nearly the man that Sean Conner is. I think it's also just me halfway with a woman. You know what I'm saying? like, oh yeah, that's good advice. Why does it just have to be

about what do you want to watch? We're all pointing out now why Craig is the only successfully married person in this room. To be fair, the first movie in high school I saw with my high school

girlfriend was Freddie got fingered. So I think there was lost in translation. But, so I watch those films and then this movie Golden Eye. I like the ladies.

Was the first one I saw in the theater. And it was, It was, because Christmas in 1995. In 89, I guess I was probably like five years old. And that was the last one. And I think, I don't even know if my dad saw those the, was that Timothy? Tim Dalton's.

Yeah. I don't know if you saw those ones. But this felt like, I remember it, my dad getting, I think my dad got a little bit excited about it because I think they advertised it as like the real return to Bond, right? Yeah. Yeah. They sort of admitted. You know exactly how they advertised it because I made you sit through all of the three

theatrical and television trailers. Oh, boy. One of the trailers really got me angry. Yeah, it did. He genuinely got mad at one of the trailers. It literally showed the only two twists in the movie. It showed both of the things. Did you watch it before or after it?

We watched it afterwards. I mean, I guess both of the, I mean, you know them. Yeah, it's not. It's easy to guess, but if you're... It's not usual suspects. They showed that 006 betrays him, and they showed the, pen. It's like why the pen

that's an exploding pen and who's holding it at the end of the movie. It's like just at least give us a little bit of like I don't know, very unjoyable. He was very upset by it and it was very funny to me. But that's my experience and then also of course this was the first one I saw in theater and then

the golden eye video game was a big part of my life as well. A golden eye video game also a big part of my life. Now Matt, other Matt, My better half, my wiser half. Oh. Not as big a fan of the Golden Night Games.

Oh, it's not that I wasn't a fan. I just didn't play it. When I have played it, I've enjoyed it. Did you have N64? No, I did not. I was a Sega man. See, here's the thing. Yeah.

I was Nintendo. I was Nintendo. I went Genesis, but we went back for N64. Oh, no kidding. Well, I was Sega Master instead of Nintendo 64. Is that Sega CD? Poor decision. Pre.

Pre. Poor decision. I disagree. But also, I basically, kind of that was the end of my second wave video gaming. Like I was Atari 2,600 guy as a kid. And then Sega...

Listen, I had a 2600. I made it... I had a... I remember praying to God. Nintendo or Sega, give me a sign. Give me a sign. You're praying to the Nintendo God or the Sega. Just any God that will tell me which is the... Which is heaven

and which is hell. I can imagine a young, goarly. You know why I chose Sega? Why? Because it had two different types of... cartridges you could put in. So there was the main cartridge, and then there was these little wallet-sized

things you could put in the back, and they were cheaper. And they were shitty games. But for some reason, that really charmed me. You're like, oh, this also takes shitty games. Yeah, I may have made the wrong choice. I'll be the first to admit. No, you definitely made the wrong choice. Well, no, no, there was this one game.

So what year did, what year did a gold did I come out? The video game. I think it came out. My guess would be 96-97, because I feel like, Or that's when I got it at least. Katie, do you know? I might have it up right in front of me.

I want to know. I was mounted up a fight into a racing game. Nintendo announced a remake of the original. Nope. Nope, that's not what we want. Yeah, I was like around, I want to know what, I was like 14, 50. Wheelhouse.

Wheelhouse. Yeah, sure. GoldenEye, N64. God darn it. I searched the wrong. thing, guys. I've got it in the middle of it. You got it, you got it, you got it. I started to count it anyway too really. This is the part of the podcast.

I was right. On 23rd August, 1997, was when Golden Eye, the video game came out. The Children Now, what's interesting about the game? I think that Craig and I can agree and I think it's probably across a lot of our audience constantly, played it constantly. These were two games that I play. It was Golden Eye and it was Mario Kart.

Yeah. Because they were the first really good multiplayer. And I played with my brother so much. And the other thing was there was, first of all, when we were watching the movie, I only saw this movie once when I was a kid. And then I played Golden Eye the game so many times that it's like in my brain. And I didn't realize that they were like, it was so based off of the film. Like there were locations where I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm in the game.

Oh, wow. And I played that game so much that it would skis. me eventually because there's so many like proximity minds like you always be afraid when when you're just going to blow up yeah maybe the reason i didn't like it is because a friend of mine named kurt scholar introduced me to it but by the time he did he was so good yeah it didn't matter what kind of learning curve i was on i was just murdered within seconds and i nobody likes anything you just consistently suck at my uh my friend heath growing up we would play the game and he got so good at that he would place proximity minds

at all of the spawning locations. And so when you would spawn, you'd immediately die and then respawn somewhere else and then die. What's this guy's problem? I mean, just the desire to win, I guess. Well, that seems deep-seated. But what's interesting... What's he up to now?

It works for Sony. It paid off. But it was interesting. What was interesting about watching this movie, which I don't think I've watched all the way through and five years, I'll say, was just remembering the game. Oh, yeah.

Like, you forget that, like, the game. Okay, so let's talk about the opening of Golden Arm. Awesome. This is the first outing of Matt Goreley's least favorite human being, Pierce Brosman. That's not true. I want to say it. I like the human being quite a lot.

What's your take on Hitler? He's pretty cool, I guess. I like Pierce Brosnan quite a bit. His Bond and Bond movies are troubled. for me. Troubling. I enjoy Pierce Brousen. I don't.

I see all your critiques of his bondisms. I understand them. But this is the first time. Let me stress again. Yes, go ahead. Because some people get real upset that even the worst bond movie is so much fun for me to watch compared to some of the best other movies, you know? Oh, I agree.

It's all relative. I mean, there's a reason we've seen all of these movies a number of times. times. We know what we're getting at them, but we still pop them in. I'll still put Tomorrow Never Dies in. I don't think you will. I do. I have. I love. I have. Because if you haven't seen one, like, if I'm watching a bunch, and I haven't seen that one in forever, the freshness of it still goes a long way. It is nice. There's 22, three of them to choose from now at this point. So, all right, so let's talk with. So this, we hadn't seen James Bond in six years at this point. Wow. You could have gone through high school.

He could have gone through college. He could have grown as a person. You could have gone through puberty. You could have a, if. So you're saying Timothy Dalton was prepubescent. He may have been. If you had had a child the day the last Bond movie last was in a theater, you could have a six-year-old child.

You could have seven children. If the Menendez brothers's alibi. Oh, that's right. Of going to the last year's bond movie. Save that for the license to kill. That was their alibi. They bought tickets for the license to kill. It might have been living daylights.

What year were the end is, I think it's licensed to kill or 89? It was 89 because I remember the trial. So, yeah, they bought tickets to license to kill they didn't go to. Then they went home and had a license to kill. I think they got tickets to license to drive. Anyway.

Wait, I never even put together the connection of the title. Yeah, interesting, right? License to kill. Thank you. And they go home and kill. Yeah. Read about it kids on the internet. That was their little inside joke.

Yeah. That's their inside. That's their inside person. Lethal weapon, no, that's two on the nose. Last Crusade. That's too symbolic. Oh, last crusade. We'll do that when we do our Indiana Jones appendix to this podcast.

Yeah. Indiana Jonesing. Indiana Jonesing. We'll do it. Now that we've said that we'll do it. We're going to have to do it. Well, that one is the next follow up because at least the title will still make sense. This is what you do.

You call Jonesing in Indiana. to Indiana, you get addicted to heroin, you watch all the films and you're just doing like a whirlwind week. I love it every episode. I love it. I'm in. Craig, you're in. You're now a part of the podcast.

I'll find the heroin. Okay. So this is now, yeah, so Timothy Dalton contractually, he was ready to do his third film, which they were going to start production in 1991. I read up on this film a little bit. You read up on the film that never happened. The notes for the third film, yeah. To take place, I believe, in, I want to say Hong Kong.

or something. This is all I remember. It's online. I apologize. Was there a different title? I assume that... I don't know that there was a title. Yeah, I don't know that there was a title at that point either.

And Timothy Dalton was ready to do it. And it had gone so long between films that he politely said, I'll see you guys later. And then they finally were able to bring in Mrs. Doubtfires, Pierce Brost. It was a drive-by-fruiting. What was... the, it was the, Remington Steel was the contract

that he couldn't get out of. The MGM snuffu that kept the delay so long. The delay in production was again, our old friend Kevin McClory. God, that's right. Yeah. Responsible for, of course, Thunderball and never say never again.

So that was some legal troubles they were trying to wrangling. Also, because the rights to James Bond, Salt's been sold his half of the rights to United Artists. And then when United artist got purchased by this other film company. That was a whole other

thing of like, do the rights go with them? So on and so forth. So that was a big legal hubbub. Anyway, let's get deeper into that. 1995 rolls around. Pierce Brosnan finally ready to take over. Pierce was going to take over

right after Roger Moore. Matt looks adorable and there's a picture Katie's taking him. Hopefully he'll Instagram. agreement. What are you doing? I'm situating my mic so I'm comfortable.

You're just going to fall asleep. No, that's true. So, finally we get to see Pierce, who everybody thought should have been James Bond from the get-go. It was a very popular choice when it was announced that he would take over the role. And in 1995, he finally got his chance to. Now, this is the movie where Albert, cubby broccoli was having some health problems. His health was waning. So this is when

Mike Wilson and Barbara sort of really had control over the production. Barbara Broccoli. Barbara Broccoli. Great name. We're a big fan of hers here at the podcast. Now, so what happens here is we have this on scene James Bond for six years and it opens up with, I think, one of the better openings for James Bond movie. It's awesome. Listen. It's pretty good.

Hey, welcome. Here's what I'll say is what I like about this movie overall and it just starts off that way is that the stunt is you just see the full stunt. It's like a real awesome live action stunt that actually happened in some way. Maybe not exactly how you see it. But it's a guy jumping off a fucking dam and dropping like, I don't know how many feet, but just free fall. forever. It's amazing. Yeah, free falling forever. Then the guy has to pull out the spear gun and then shoot the spear gun and then get rolled in. And I, you know, I've watched the behind the scenes footage of him jumping off the thing and then missing, like not getting

his cue right to get the thing. And then he has to go up. They have to bring him back up and he's going to do it again. Awesome. Awesome. So bad. Jump down a dam. And then he breaks into this Russian weapons facility through a bathroom stall. Guys, doesn't get better than that. Nothing like a big jump into a duty joke. That's a long way to go for a... Into a bathroom stall. And of course, in the Golden Eye game, you're very familiar with it, I'm sure, everybody. That's part of the game is you've got to go through the bathroom stall and you can shoot the guy on the toilet. It's really great. I recommend everybody

plays the game. Wait, what's the joke that he says when he comes out? Don't forget to wipe. No, no. It's like, oh, I'm 007, not number. too. No. I mean, like the alt we're pitching. Here's my Walter P.P.K. I believe he says I just thought I'd drop in. No, I think it's my

duty to kill you. You're looking a little flush. So James is there. Why don't you want us to continue, man? It seems like you're railroading. Because I know how long we've recorded. What a shitty situation. And I know that we've just started talking about the movie.

We're back. 2014 It's going to be a great year, guys. It's going to be a great year. These are the best times of our lives. Why are we recorded? Another 10 in point in four seconds. So, okay, this is when we meet Sean Bean, everybody's favorite English actor to die in a movie.

He dies in everything he's ever done. There's a super cut. Yeah, there is a super cut of Sean Bean dying in movies. This is new to me. So, no spoiler alert, because we all know this guy's eventually going to die. But we think it's going to be right now when he gets shot in the head. Oh, right, right. This Sean Bean, yes.

Yeah, he meets up with James, and we find out he's 006, because they call each other by their call sign, which I think is adorable. And they have their little saying they say to each other. For England, James. Yeah. For England. And then they do that.

It'll come back later, guys. And of course, Alec has a nice little bit of advice where he says half of everything is, Luck and the other half. Wham, wah, is fate. Right? That's a whole thesis of the film.

Luck versus thing, guys. It's a thesis of this film made in 1995. So we see a huge action scene here with Russians. I love that Russians, by the way, are the villains in this. I love that, yeah, six years after the fall of Berlin Wall

and we're still going back to Yeah, they're able to acknowledge that the Cold War is over, but they're not ready to give up Russians. Yeah, it's always like, it's still like the Cold War. They keep on like saying that pretty much. So what happens here is they are caught because the alarm goes off and Trevelyan is put execution style. He is shot in the head seemingly.

Cool way to die. Pretty cool way to die, right? Now, is he actually? actually shot in the head? Or is he already working with Orimov? He's already working. Yeah, I think so. Okay.

I think so. What's the scar come from? The scar comes from the explosion. Right. Okay. My understanding was that there was a fake shooting. Yeah. And then...

Me too. And he's already in bed with him. Interesting. Literally. Literally and figuratively. Because that Russian commander is good looking. He is a hot toddy.

And a tot hearty. Then we move on now. This is 10 minutes into the movie. We now move on to our second huge stunt. James has to get out. I like this one a lot. James has to get out of there. How is he going to do this? He goes outside and he realizes, oh, well, there's a plane. This is a runway. I'm going to run. Oh, let me steal this guy's motorcycle.

Now he's chasing a runway that ends with a cliff, with a sheer cliff. He is now chasing. it on a motorcycle. He's chasing a plane on a motorcycle. It does give you a bit of the spy who love me opening sequence chills. Yeah. It's got a nice... Yeah. So James, obviously,

jumps the motorcycle off of the runway and then begins free falling towards the plane. The plane's going into a dive. James gets in the plane, pulls the stick up just in time. We hear Tina Turner.

Go there and I. I like the little one. But, you know, the thing is also, again, it's awesome. You really see a guy free falling near a plane. Like, it's, again, another dope. Practical effect. Dope live stunts. Dope live stunts and models.

That's what this movie is full of. Derek Meddings did the miniatures for this movie. And that is, I think, there are two things about this movie that are my favorite. And the miniatures. I love miniatures and movies. I was saying that while we were watching. in this movie where you can tell their miniatures, but they

just look so cool. So Derek Meddings did all the miniatures for a lot of the earlier Bond movies as well. Have you guys ever seen Spy who love, I mean, spies like us? Yes, of course. You know, when the doctors come out of the tent, when they're in, I think they're in Afghanistan,

and they're posing as doctors and real surgeons come out? One of those surgeons is Terry Gilliam, and for some reason one of them is Derek Meddings, the model maker for all these movies. So when you guys give that, your weekly watch.

A little little Easter egg for the Spuzz like us fans. I always, I like that movie quite a bit. So what do we think of the opening credits? Not, I don't, I don't love them. I'm into the song.

I thought the opening credits were cool. Not, didn't blow me away, but I liked them. I like the story they tell. Yeah, I like the story they tell. I like the,

I like the falling statues and stuff like that. They're dated, but not in a good way for me. there's a nice phallic gun coming out of a woman's mouth. Yeah, of course. Now, wait, before we move on. Oh, do we have an alternate theme song? I do have an alternate theme song.

So this alternate theme song. Craig, what Matt likes to do is show us songs that were recorded for the film. Wow. Yeah. Wow. But not. Now, this is by the timeless band Ace of Bass. It's easy to see why they chose them.

Are you serious? Easy to see why they chose them because they would have, uh, persisted. Please tell me it's just I saw the sign. It's really easy to... A lot of bands when they didn't get their song chosen would change their titles and just re-record lyrics over it.

So this is called the Juvenile instead of the Golden Eye. But why are all of these songs kid-based? That's what I'm starting to want. Really interesting. Yeah, here we go. Sorry. Sorry we don't have a better hookup for this,

but we're doing it analog. It's already better. It's got snaps. I used to love this band. Of course you did. I don't like it. It loses me here. Yeah, that opening, really promising opening.

Really something is suck. So, Ace of Bass is a Swedish band, and they don't have the firmest grasp on English and the idioms of English. So they have songs like, what you're going to tell your dad? It's like a wheel of fortune. And kiss me, baby.

I'm attractive, baby. I love, what is some of the... Your love is the engine and I might be fuel. Stop acting cool. I bet you might win. Oh. Hey. Yeah.

That's good advice. So easy to see why they're chosen. In elementary school, they were the hottest band in fourth grade. And I asked a girl to make a tape for me of... I saw the sign or maybe it was all that she wants and she recorded it from a tape player to another player. Like not actually recording it.

You could hear her voice throughout the whole song. It was pretty dope. Did she like say thanks to you? Craig is for you. I love you, Craig. No, but it was it was under that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I feel like that's... I did have a big crush on the singer, the blonde one. I feel like that's one of those bands that would have been a band where the people that you see, see aren't the actual one singing. Yeah, very, very like that. Yeah, that was up the era.

The two guys, I think, wrote all the music and then the girls just sang it. Remember, of course, during the full house episode where Stephanie Tanner's band plays at the smash club. Yes. They play the sign. Yeah. Gia is over there on bass. No, Gia plays keyboard? I don't know, but join us for our spinoff podcast, Ace of Bonding.

Ace of bonding. Okay. Now, refresh my memory because I just watched this two days ago. But is the next thing that we see, the Aston Martin DB5? I believe so. I think we've seen much cut. We've yet to, well, I guess we have seen the villain. We don't know. We don't know we've seen the villain.

Well, we've seen both of them. Right. So what we're, what we come now to is the, what I would describe is the worst music in the movie. I have that here. In a movie, not just a Bond movie? Yeah, it's garage band music. In a movie. It's like the default music where you open garage band.

I was watching this. We got a new TV and it has that sort of motion blurring, you know, that new filter that you can put. Yeah, that you've turned off, right? Because you find it. I haven't. Because I still, there's something about it I'm kind of interested in. But watching this movie on that setting makes it look like video and then hearing that music, I think I'm watching a soft. porn.

Yeah. Well, during that part of the movie, I was watching a softcore porn. It is on a smaller screen. Awful, that music. The, uh, I'm going to try and pull it up right now. The end song? Not the end song, which was written by the guy who scored this movie. Yeah, that song is unbelievable.

I'm going to look for that. You know what else that gentleman scored? I was like, this guy. I can't believe this guy. 34 points in an NBA game in the finals. I can't believe this guy. I can't imagine what else he scored. He scored the fifth element.

Oh yeah, we talked about this, which has awesome music. Which has awesome music. Awesome since music that makes sense. He's probably able to do what he wants to do. The blue alien scene, one of the best music scenes in a movie ever. I'm going to say it without even thinking about it. I'm probably wrong, but it's great. He scored the professional.

Oh, yeah. Anyone care? Luke Beissant. I think in his element, this stuff works, but for a Bond movie. In his fifth element, it works. Yeah. That's true. So I'm going to go ahead and,

throw this in for you guys I'm just going to watch some soft corporn over here so we're going to hear a little bit of a lot really necessary to drive quite so fast more often than you'd think oh god I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl

who's that the next girl I can't believe this is 1995 and it would be an otherwise pretty cool car chase, but this music takes all the drama out of it. I don't know completely. I can't even continue.

So we know, though, that the producers went back in, and there's basically the third act of the film is scored with the James Bond music, and then in that love scene on the beach, I don't know if that's Eric Serra or not, but it doesn't sound like it, and it feels like they, well, I know that they went back in, and so we have

to redo some of this. They were like, let's put in a scratch track for now. We'll use some of the music from Beverly Hills Cop 2. And then we'll go back and they forgot to. Yeah, completely forgot to. What are you doing over there? I'm going to play the ending credit song.

This is a live version. The Experience of Love. I couldn't believe. James Bond end songs are not some of the better things. Like there's the one at the end of license to kill. Is that if you ask me to... You know what? can't even do this. Let's just...

It is a terrible song if you get to the end of the movie. And it really just, it's an interesting choice to end this movie with a love song. Yeah, they do this in this era. It starts with living daylight. Yeah, I don't... And they're license to kill. Because there's no real indication that James Bond is in love with anybody

by the end of this movie. He should be, though. I have to say... Yeah, she's beautiful. I didn't realize that she's... I think she's one of the better Bond girls. Ooh. You know what? You're right. You're right. because she's never really She knows things the men don't know

She knows how to do things the men don't know how to do She's a good actress She's a good actress She can take care of herself She knows how to use a weapon But she's still all woman She doesn't sleep with him until And almost the

Until she's wearing a sarong She also shows a straight-up crotch shot for like seven seconds I know she walks into frame They show that in every advertising Every advertiser we saw of the movie And we watched a lot that's a shot that's in it. And do you know why I realize that happened is because

the director, what's his name, Martin Campbell? Yes. His first couple of movies were British sex films. Really? So he loves the garage shots. Hey, are you guys feeling the experience of love right now? I can't say that I am, Katie. So now, okay, this is us meeting the femme fatale of the movie.

Yes, right? That's what we're calling her. Famke Yonson. Yeah, yeah, definitely. If ever there was one. Fomka. Yompson. Okay.

Who we almost had on the Nerdus podcast. What? We almost had her on the Nerdus to promote something. Oh, I think he said almost had her on this podcast. Oh, I could try. Try it harder. The Xenia on a top. Which is great.

Great name. Sure. Man, I don't feel like you're on board. Well, no, I'm fine with that. Well, what's your problem? It's her name. silly, which is fine. Yeah.

But then we get some of those Pierce Brosnan hurt acting scenes again, and he's so serious. We get... When she crushes him and he goes, Uh-huh. See, this is... This is pound for pound the most Pierce, Brosman, hurt acting in a James Bond movie. Yeah. And Zinia Onatop likes to...

Her method of killing is... she takes pleasure in killing. So she's, I don't know what that's called. It's a disorder, right? It's a disorder, yeah. She finds, she finds pain, causing pain pleasure.

But in a very sexual way, because she's literally, literally having sex with the people when she kills them. Yeah, yeah. And they show it, it seems like she's crushing them with her legs,

but also it could be that, oh, I never thought of it that way. She's using her vagina. I don't mean to get graphic here. But we don't see that. That's true. So we don't know if there's full penetration and she's somehow doing it that way. Wow.

That could be interesting. Like teeth? Yes. Or just like super muscle. I don't know. Super vulva? Like a super strong vulva. Like that movie Supervolva.

Super vulva. I love Jonah Hill in that movie. Super vulva? Super vulva. But I do like Fomke Jansen in this. She's great. Well, she's, she's, she's, she's, I think Sean Bean's really good.

I think the guy that plays Orimov is great. I guess all the actors is pretty good. Great character, Russian character actor. But, okay, so here's a weasie. We see her, they're in, they're in Monte Carlo, I believe. Yeah. James is driving his personal car, which is the Aston Martin DB5. Can I just say one thing?

Yes, go ahead. I listened to Pervis and Wade on the Empire Skyfall Spoiler podcast, and they said that it was their intention for the Aston Martin D. Martin to be his personal Aston Martin that he won in Casino Royale and that Sam Mendez came along and had the idea of tricking it out with the machine guns and then they're like

it changed driver's seats and we don't really know what happened there but that they meant it to be his personal can we put that to rest? No we can't put it to rest because it's equipped with the same gadgetry of Goldfinger so is in their mind

their timeline is the same so Casino Royale comes before gold finger. Yes, but they never planned for those machine guns to be in there. They never plan for those machine guns to be there. So the machine guns are in there. He was originally going to have a trunk full of guns.

A trunk full of guns. Yeah. That was the original working title of the film. Trunk full of guns. Also, I'm now convinced that the people writing in have settled the mom debate. That is Marm with an English accent.

Oh, I still disagree with them. Wait, what's Marm calling? Yeah, when he, when they call M what sounds like mom. They're going mom. It's mom. Mom's the word. That's why they say mom's the word.

Thank you. That's what that saying comes from. Craig Rowan, follow them on Twitter, everybody. Mom's the word. Give him hell. At mom's the rohan. At mom's the word. At trunk full of guns.

Shadow watch you from the far. Anytime I say a sentence, I immediately get the Twitter handle. I just got that one too. So let's talk about the ass and Martin, five right now. Okay. He uses it as a gadget. It has a built-in Alpine Stereo,

CD, AMFM, no cassette, fax machine. It prints out all the information that Moneypenny has for him on the boat registry and on all that jazz. And I enjoyed that.

I liked seeing the Aston being a little bit updated and having that printout come out. Of course, if we're to believe Skyfall, he had the stereo removed at some point. He didn't need it anymore. If we're to believe?

If we're to believe that it's the same vehicle. Okay. If we're to believe, Skyfall. But Skyfall does not state that these things are going to follow. It's a new timeline begun. I disagree. It doesn't.

I disagree. It's spiritually he's going on to those things, but I don't think it's saying hardcore that he's going straight into Dr. No. I think it's all about new work train. No, no, no, no. I don't think he's going into Dr. No either. Yeah.

I think that's the end. I think that's, I think Skyfall is the, this is a little sidebar of James Bonding podcast where Matt Orley and Craig, if you're, if you have any thoughts on this, please jump in. Sure, I don't, but I'll keep talking to you. We're going to discuss the floating timeline of James Bond. Right. But it's, it's intrinsically flawed. Here's how I view it. Yeah.

Here's how I personally view the floating wonder of the James Bond timeline. Okay. Casino Royale first out of the gate. That's the situation. That's where we see him become. The one with Woody Allen. Right. Yes, of course.

Peter Sellers is in it as well. It's a great film. People have asked us if we're going to touch on those. Maybe by the end we'll be like, yeah, let's watch them. But right now we have no place to do it. Bonus cut. Yeah. So I think that Casino Real happens.

Quadra Salas happens. Dr. No through Diner the Day happens. Wow. Skyfall happens. That's how I picture the timeline of Jim. The problem here is that there is no timeline because there are, the whole thing was at the whim of too many directors and producers. Yeah.

Well, also, I mean, when he goes to visit Tracy's grave and, for your eyes only, you know, it says Tracy Bond. 1938, she's born in 1938, which obviously doesn't float with the timeline. And then you obviously have to take into account James Bond Jr. And then it gets... The whole other thing. Real estate.

Yeah. But my working, my brain working theory is Casino Real through Casino Rael, Cuadro Salas, Dr. Doe, through Die Another Day, Skyfall. That's how it goes in my head. I feel that they intend it to be the three Daniel Craigs and then to Dr. No, just because you're getting back to a kind of... It can't be. It can't be.

Why is it that what happens in Skyfall that makes it after everything? Because he's been through it all. He's tired at that point. He's a beaten man almost. But that's more to do with him having been shot and fallen off a giant bridge. I disagree. And his age, definitely. Yeah, I think it's to do with his age.

I think it's to do with his character. But they're so squarely set it up for that. that classic M in the quilted office door. Well, they set it up to finally get back to the formula. You know? And yes, you're in, you know, Bernard Lee. As filmmakers they do, but I think. Yeah.

You're in Bernard Lee's office, essentially. Yeah. Like, I get that, but that's just a little nod, because they have to leave because they're new, because their headquarters they've been in since Golden Eye. But I believe Sam Mendy's even. They're now back in the old They're now back in the old headquarters

Even discusses this as an Origin trilogy Sam Mendes discusses as an origin I refuse to believe it Well I'm going to have to check my sources Because I think here's how it plays out In my head Here's how this whole thing plays out

James Bond Casino Royale Great, he wins the Aston Martin Great This is all Aston Martin based for you It is You're just an Aston Martin apart It is partially.

It is partially. So he gets the Aston Martin in Casino Real. He wins it in a poker game. Great. I think that's a different Aston Martin. Okay? Well, not according to the screenwriters. Yeah, I understand that.

Those guys also fucked up a lot of other shit. That's true. You do have a point there. I think that's not the same Ashton. I think that he goes through Quad of a Salas. Then he gets a Bentley. What? Yeah.

He gets the... He gets the... This is a green bentley. It's a green Bentley in the books. Yeah. But in the movies, it's a red Bentley. He has his red Bentley and from Russia with love. So you're just adding in a plot point where he gets a Bentley so you can justify it going to from Russia with love.

Don't worry about it. Here's how it goes. In most theories, when you say don't worry about it, that means it's a solid theory. That's science. No, so he has a Bentley. And he enjoys the Bentley. He has a great time with it. When does he get the...

What's the story with how he gets the Lotus? Just from Q? He gets it from Q. Does he get the Bentley from Q? No. Well, the Bentley... It's his personal car, yeah. He gets the Aston Martin DB5 from Q as well.

Not originally. Listen. When did he get... He wins it in a poker match. He wins... He wins a left-hand drive. No, he wins a right-hand drive, Aston Martin. Look, I can't.

He wins a right-hand drive. Hand drive as to Martin. When did he get the Volvo station wagon? Not yet. All right. We got to get back to it. Anyway, back to Golden Eye. Golden Eye.

I'm sure they enjoy it. So this movie has my favorite, one of my favorite James Bond looks. Okay. And I call it Nautical Bond. Oh, yeah. This is, this is Yacht Club James Bond. This is, it is good. Cackies, double-breasted Navy Blazer with gold buttons.

Blue shirt. Blue shirt. Yeah, it's good. Even for 90s, it's pretty good. I mean, that's timeless. Yeah. I could show up right now at a yacht club, and they would ask me what I wanted to drink. That's a good point that you said it's not very 90s, because every 90s movie, especially

in like this sweet spot of 95, everything feels dated. This in terms of clothing was not too bad. It's not, which is surprising. Well, I think that happens when you're in a movie where there are lots of suits. I think suits are timeless. Even when it is dated, like what Natalia is wearing black tights and a short black skirt, I still kind of like it. Natalia is wearing that black tight, short black skirt sweater, the blue sweater.

The entire time? That's just Silver Lake. You go to Silver Lake right now, that's what everybody's wearing. Yeah, it's not quite the same, though. It's pretty close. She's wearing what a hipster would wear. Yeah. I think if the hipsters is more the four-year eyes only.

Octopacy era. We'll get to that. Yeah. We'll get to that. So James sees the tiger attack helicopter, which plays the big part in the video game, of course, but the tiger helicopter is shielded against electromagnetic pulses. This comes into play handily later.

James wants to pursue this lead. He wants to find out what's going on with this tiger helicopter. This is the first time we see Dame Judy Dench. Yes. So at this point... Or as I call her Dame Duty stench. Oh. We call it Dame Judy drenched.

Those are all Twitter handles Judy Dench Who we have come to know and love is M And the classic opening scene with those two Really classic Let's address Sexus Misogynist dinosaur yeah What I liked about this is that they do sort of say those things

Like you're a chauvinist Like at the end when he's talking to Bond He's saying you're outdated All these things that are sort of like I feel like the filmmakers are going like We understand this is an old thing. We're doing a little bit throwback, but it's still new. Like, we're paying homage, but it feels a little bit fresh. It is interesting because they're acknowledging it, but there is one point

that I got a little weirded out, and that's when Sean Bean forces Natalia to kiss her, to kiss him, which is what it is. He's a villain. It makes sense, right? But then Bond does the very same thing on the beach not long after, and she's like, well, okay. Yeah, oh yeah, he's still the same exact James Bond. They just sometimes go like... Oh, yeah, they just address it.

I know. So is it almost worse in a way that they're willing to address it and not... By the way, this is the time, this is the time

I noticed that Samantha Bond, who plays MoneyPenny, is on Downton Abbey. Yes, I know, I know. That scene between them does not go a line

without a huge pun. Right. It's incredible. Yeah. Almost impressive. It's mostly disgusting. It's pretty spectacular. Yeah.

So they are now watching a satellite feed at MI6 of this, I don't even know how they end up surveilling. The compound? Yeah, the compound. I'm trying to remember. I do remember that this part of the movie is slow for me.

It really kicks off strong and then picks up in the second half quite nicely, but this part dragged for me a bit. So here we are now. We're at this facility for Golden Eye. It's the Golden Eye facility. For Golden Eye. where we meet Alan coming. Yeah, he's a bit much in this.

Alan coming is 1995 Alan coming. Yeah. That is like, yeah. What you see is what you get when it goes on. Yeah. And of course, Natalia is there. And this is. And it's like the classic hackers thing.

And when I said that when I watched with Matt and I said, because they're hackers, the computers look like 1995 computers. I said this looks, looks and feels exactly like the net and hackers. All three. I looked up, came out in 1995. This is like the era of, like, hackers are in the news a little bit. AOL is, like, starting to be cool. Because email's big, like, for the first time people are understanding what email is in 94.

So a year for a movie to be made, and they all come out in 95. Well, what's interesting, of course, Windows 95. Of course. What's interesting is there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of leit speak in this movie, a lot of computer speak, a lot of jargony, speak that to the audience would probably mean nothing but to... Well, it was all bungee... Like, they said like computers.

HTML, UCB, USB. USB. Groundlings. Iowlings. Annoyance Theater. Comedy sports. So, but here's a fun little easter egg for everybody. Watch Boris's computer.

On the bottom, on the bottom left corner of his computer, there's a little graphic of a cube that floats around that spins. And the cube has a Star Trek and say. and then it flips to a communicator. Oh my God. So it's very, and that's a thing that I feel like I've seen that. And that says 666 Satan. And then it's...

In the deleted scene. So they get little touches like that, right. Like, that's what that guy would have on his computer. No, like, no question about that. So, Gullin Eye is an electromagnetic pulse. It's a satellite that sets off a nuclear explosion in the atmosphere that then will translate to an EMP going, off over a large area.

So the number crunchers, M's a big number cruncher in this movie. Only time she's ever a number cruncher is this movie. She's like, they couldn't make that. They didn't have the money. They didn't have the resources or the technology to make this. And James is like, well, I think they made it. I'm going to show you. So that's why we're watching this little area.

And then they also do a nice little dig at CNN. Yeah, they sure do. They sure do. America in general. Ted Turner. Can I say something about the little money penny exchange they have as he's coming into this area? If you haven't watched this movie yet, when you watch it, it's one thing that they're doing these puns back and forth, but she holds eye contact with him in an extended and an intense way that made me uncomfortable.

Like she's really, it's not like she's just joking. It's feeling like she's going like, I'm going to do things to. Like, there's a... That's great acting. Intensity there. that is a little off-putting. But that's what love is. It's a little off-putting.

I suppose. How would Ian Fleming feel about the interpretation of his characters like that? Yeah. Moneypenny was barely in the books. I know. So this is the get-go.

So Ormoth and Onatop come in, which is weird because usually in a movie you don't see two characters with the same letter starting the last name. It's just harder to type, you know? Yeah, because, well, that would, This was before you'd be have screenwriting, you know, computer programs. It was mostly typewriters.

It wasn't the same. It wouldn't be automatically filling in. There were still word processors back there. There were, of course. Word perfect. Of course. Word perfect. Word.

Word, word. Word, perfect. Word, perfect. Print shop. Also, word perfect. Clarice works. Claris Works. Mavis Beacon.

Sega. Two cartridges. Did you notice all the jewelry M has on to? Yeah. And she is consistently from movie to movie dressed like a bond villain. I'm starting to think that there could be a conspiracy theory under this. Well, if you want to purchase the jacket she's wearing in this movie. And I do.

You can do so. It's on eBay right now. What? For $3,200. I'll split it. I'll put in $1,600 right now. The jacket she's wearing in, I will read the listing to everybody here. A thousand apiece.

You don't have to. I haven't memorized. Go ahead, Craig. A thousand apiece. Katie, you in on this? No, all right. A thousand apiece. I really feel like, Katie, I really feel like you should probably be in on this.

Nice. Okay. Judy Dench M. Hero Jacket, screen used from Golden Eye. $3,270 or best offer. Oh, let's go right now. Let's put in for $300. I'd do $100 for that. Here it is.

Wow. This is, I'm going to read the description. I wonder what it smells like. I bet it smells like lilacs. I like that the picture, even though Dame Judy Densh isn't in it, it looks like she's wearing it. Yeah, like it's so fitted there.

It was a, here's the description. It was a stroke of genius to cast Dame Judy Densch as James Bond's boss in the 007 movies. She brought an entirely new level of urgency and sophistication, if not reality to the films. If not. This is the hero, screen-worn Judy Dench jacket from Golden Eye, a signature Judy Dench piece in very fine condition.

Very fine. Not that the original silver buttons have been replaced with these gold buttons. What? Oh, shit. Ring, ring, ring. No way. No way. Nope.

For a subsequent production by costumers. The jacket was used heavily featured in advertising. merchandising and all kinds of promotional things as it was Judy Denches. Really getting vague. All kinds of promotional first. Appearance as M. And it was the first time ever

M, a woman was cast as M. Don't miss out on memorabilia. Great piece of double seven memorabilia. There's only the second Judy Dench piece we've ever come across. And we sold her gray casino royal costume at auction for over $7,000.

Yeah, because they didn't take the buttons off and desecrate a piece of art. You don't buy something like that for the storied passage. you buy it for the buttons. Or you buy it for the promotional things that it was. That's true. I wonder who else squeezed into that.

Like who else? No, I think Dame Judy Dentch was in a bunch of Pepsi commercials that used that jacket. It is interesting. Guys, I'm not saying it's a bad purchase, but I'm saying I wouldn't do it. What else is on eBay from Bond movies? I went through a lot of it the other night. Give me some of the highlights. The Romeo and Julieta cigar casing from The World is Not Enough that he gave

to Moneypenny. Was that $500? Something like that? That was $500. Yeah. Boo. But $500 and it was supposedly the hero prop.

Really? Give me the cigar and maybe we'll talk. Yeah. With still some saliva on. The other things, what else was there? A couple of brioi jackets from Pierce Brousin.

This was interesting. We looked, somebody was trying to get for the golden eye and 64 video game in Raffirons. A graded, a graded sealed copy of it. What were they asking for?

A thousand? No, it was like $2,900. Holy shit. Which is like, that was mass produced. That was one of the most popular video games. Of course, there are other ones. But I did buy it. Seriously?

No. No. So, it would be, I'd seriously rethink it. Here's a $15,000. Here's a $15,000 jacket. Don't tell me more. buy it right now. Just off the price. Is it Tanner's Hawaiian shirt?

For the man that has almost everything in his life. What's his name? Wade. And demands the absolute best. This is extremely rare and absolutely authentic brioni for James Bond Tuxedo. Only two were made per size worldwide. So what this is... It's just a limited edition?

It's just a limited edition. What size is it? $15,000. What size is it? Description. I'll tell you right now. It is a... 47 inch bust 19.27 inch.

So what is that? Like a 46 regular? It's for a big man. The pants measure 38. Yeah, that's my size. There you go, Matt. This is my size. Guys, can I borrow $15,000?

Borrow, you can have it. Thank you, guys. Yeah. We're getting way off track. How do you mean? Let's go back to this. Let's just go to live into daylights. This is the scene with the models.

This is the big models. Oh, yeah. This is so good. Some Migs are coming in. Oh, yeah. Derek Meddings, you belong to the city. So Orimov and Onatop are there, killing everybody involved. Same letter.

First letter of the last name. Crazy, crazy stuff's happening. We're perfect seven. He's there to launch the Golden Eye. He does so. Then they're there. We got to take off. We've got a head out of here.

We got the Tiger helicopter, which is how we're going to get away. No. harm, no foul, and they have the other golden I keep. There's one more satellite. I'm sorry, I'm yawning everybody. I've been working for 90 hours. There's one more satellite, so they have one more chance of doing an EMP.

Natalia hides lone survivor of this place, or so we think. Or so we think. Or so we think. Right. Pretty cool shot of her running away in slow motion. Yeah. She's really good.

Three times in this movie, she jumps in slow motion away from an explosion. I think she's overlooked as one of the better bond girls. She's great. You don't hear much about her. Do we see anybody else die in that whole thing? A lot of the people, right? They get gunned.

Yeah. Oh, right, right. We see people get gunned down. Yeah. And she emotionally covers the bodies. Nice little bit of business there. Oh, yeah. And when she's up in the, she hides up in like an air duct.

No, she thinks she's in the air duct. She was in the cabinet. Right, right. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. But on a top, holds up a gun, shoots the ceiling, and she's, like, getting off on. Oh, yeah, she's, like, full on. That's her move.

She is just into it. When she masturbates at home, she just shoots guns. That's what I would do. At home. That's what I do at home, actually. That's what, no, I just had to clarify. So, that's the only place you can do it. Guys, what?

Here's what happens next. James is now finally able to go do what he needs to do. who's doing this it's not the Russians I don't think it's the Russians I like the way you're narrating this one I think it's the Yannis Syndicate

Yeah right Janus Crime Syndicate So where do they go I think they go to Where are they I like how you said So where do they go I think are they

Kovsky To see Valentin Zerkovsky To see Valentin Zerkov Aren't they just in straight up Russia No Probably I think they're in Russia But this is where we meet

Joe Don Baker Oh yeah Mitchell. Wade. Yeah, but Mitchell. From the Mitchell movies. From Mitchell. What?

Joe Don Vega was in a series of terrible movies. That made famous, if not already before, famous by Mystery Science Theater 300. Oh, yeah. I'm not aware of those. I highly recommend watching the Mitchell mystery science. Oh, when he's younger? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm thinking like at the same time. Okay. No, that'd be weird. Well, yeah. It'd be really weird. I'm not a fan of this character. I'm sorry.

It is a little bit it's like It's an American stereotype. Yeah, he's the American. He's the sort of dumb American Or not dumb, but the cowboy. He's supposed to be like cowboyish. Also, did I miss something?

Because why is he, as soon as they get to Havana he goes, hmm, banyan trees. And then at the end, um, tobacco bushes. What does he do? I think he's supposed to be. He wants to have cigars. He's supposed to have really good sense of smell.

That's the whole character. It's sort of the, that's what. I did miss that. When you're an actor, you make. a choice. And his like, his choice was, I have a good sense of smell. Why, why not just put Felix lighter in this movie? Why is this new character? That's an excellent question. And I don't really have an answer for why they didn't do that. I wish they had. I really wish they had. But I, is there, there must be a reason and that it. Maybe it's a legality thing. But he's in

the Dalton ones. Oh, maybe that's why they didn't want to put him in it. Because doesn't he lose his, uh, he gets fucked up real bad in license to kill. Yeah, maybe that's it. Yeah, they don't And they're like, well, let's not bring him back right now. Yeah, he wouldn't probably be in Russia with half a leg. Right. So this is where to meet Robbie Coltrade for the first of two times. And Mini Driver. And Mini Driver, of course, singing Stand By Your Man.

Odd. Great. It's great. I really love this character. I love Valentin Tsarkovsky. I do, I like him, too. It's a fun character. Fun character, fun situation.

He knows what kind of gun James Bond is using, just from the sound. They have witty repartee between themselves, which is always good with the sort of bad guy-ish, bad guy, that they've got a familiarity. Walter PPPK, 7.65 millimeter. There are three men I know who carry this gun. I've killed two of them.

It's a great line. It's a great line. That's a good line. James, oh, okay, here's my, here's one of my next favorite, most dated scenes in all of the James Bond movies. Natalia needs to access the internet. So she goes to an internet. So she needs to go buy a computer.

Yeah. And she orders, uh, she pretend orders and thusly makes me feel bad for the salesperson. Uh, 24 computers for the American school. One for every hour and a day. IBM compatible.

CD-ROM drive. 500 meg hard drives. 14.4 modems. 500 meg. Does that take it back? Doesn't that take it back a little bit? And I was saying to Craig, I was like, all of the processing power and all of the hard drive space,

my phone is more than double of it. Wow. It's insane. And that was Steve Jobs' dream. We're living in his America and his world. That's Moore's Law, man. It's pretty crazy. Yeah.

So she gets on the internet, she accesses, she contacts Boris. Boris is online. Boris is like, don't trust anybody. Meet me in this church. Boris is right. Don't trust anybody. And at this point, and at this point, Yaakov, Smirnoff, or whatever the main bad guy is,

he doesn't know that she's still alive because he's met with the other Russian... Demetrius, the Russian defense minister. Yeah, right. And they're the ones that say there's a survivor, and he only knows about Boris Korloff. Yeah, Boris Karloff is the lone survivor. So this now, he goes to Valis Sarkoski. Bond goes to Sarcoski to set up a meeting with this Janus syndicate

because he wants to find out what's happening at the gold tonight. He gets taken there. He knocks out Fomka Johnson. We've skipped over the pool and sauna sex, unless you guys would like to say anything about it. Just hot and steamy, like that sauna should. be. Yeah. A lot of hurt acting. He says no more foreplay. Yeah. Which is kind of great. I mean, he basically, it's always weird to see, like,

hitting a woman against a wall. You know what I mean? It's just a little bit strange. And punching and punching and, you know, like, I guess if I was that situation, I was getting sex killed by a woman, I'd have to do that. Yeah. You'd have to. First of all, I wouldn't put myself in that situation. You'd have to throw her ass on hot colds. Yeah, he threw her ass. It's, Sex live or sex die? Live or sex die? Yeah. That's the title for the next salmon.

Sex die another day. Sex die, another live, life. Golden Eye. Matt is sitting behind a big office desk and the two of us are on a comfy couch facing him. It's like we're getting fired. Either that or we're getting mission briefed. I feel like I'm letting you guys know that we can't. We've got to turn in our piece and shield.

We're not going to be able to bring you back. Oh, hell. This is your last episode. It was a good time. bonding. We're actually tired of doing it. Matt Myra, you bite your tongue.

I'm about to get re-energized because next week we start the Roger Moores and you're going to see a whole new me. The Brazans have been tough. Yeah, you've been struggling to get through these. I'm telling you, it is a struggle for me. Man, we're coming back with Living Let Dines. Well, let's talk about the fact that Martin Campbell directed this movie. Martin Campbell, of course, directed our favorite James Bond movie,

Casino Royale. Sure did. is that your all-time favorite yeah both of us yeah wow okay it's i find that movie to be I really liked it flawless I mean I'd have to watch some of the old ones this to but I really like that movie yeah I put that I would put that I would say uh Casino Royale followed by for me from Russia with love those are my top and then moon raker well not you're not too far pretty enjoyable we're gonna let's just put it this way we're we're coming into a happy I believe we're both, he and I are both on record as saying our favorite person to watch

be James Bond is Roger Moore. In some ways, yeah. Yeah. In many ways. So anyway. Oh, flying to England and then Scotland on British Airways, they have every Bond movie on demand. So I didn't know that and I sat down for a 10 and a half hour flight.

I looked on the little personal screen. What did I choose? the first thing you watched Living Let Die No What do you think I'm gonna say We haven't done it yet

You haven't Now I'm trying to figure out Because you're going back It's all right Octopus A view to a kill Oh wow Oh I should have known that

I saw that on your Instagram Yeah That's right Yeah What'd you think I love it We'll get to it I just love it

That's our big That's gonna be our big live one Yeah Now why isn't it just called A View to Kill The Iambic pentameter of the Duran Duranza. Yeah.

Is a view to a kill. I just like a view to kill. No, but it's a view to a kill. You're seeing. No, you want to kill that view. I can't know what the context of that is in the books. It's the short stories. Yeah.

We'll get to it eventually. But back to this golden eye movie that we're having so much trouble getting through. It's a long movie. It's a two-hour. I, I, let's see. The second the movie ended, I guessed that it was two hours and 13 minutes. Yeah.

I was three minutes off. What is it? 2.10. Way too long. I watched it in two parts. They could have cut at least half an hour out. Yeah. Well, let's, I mean, well, let's sort of take the broader strokes at this.

We don't have to go through the whole thing bit by bit. Let's take, let's take some broader strokes. Well, it starts to really pick up from me here. Okay. And that tank chase. The tank chase is fantastic. Well, first of all, let's talk about the fact that he finally, the reveal is, oh, my God, it's Alec. Oh, yeah, that's right.

It's Alec Guinness. It's 006, who is turned against the empire. And his face is scorched because when James Bond escapes in that first scene, he has a timed mine. Right, that's right. And he's right. And his face got burned. Same six minutes you gave me. And then James goes, we have three minutes.

Pretty great, right? Sean Bean, I think, is very good in this movie. Yeah, he's all right. I think he's very good. I think he's very good. With the dialogue that he had. All right. And what he had to do.

He didn't have a lot. I mean, he doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That Cossack stuff was a bit. Yeah. Cossack stuff is like what?

Listen, it's not England's finest hour. Yeah. Yeah, that was a little bit strange. It's sort of like, you're talking about like you painting Cossics and you're just like, real, okay, what? So now I have to recalibrate my brain and think about like the history of. An 11th hour character motivation that doesn't exactly fit. But we do here again, your parents died in a climbing accident.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we're murdered by the British government. Keeping it consistent. No, no, he killed, his father killed his mother and then himself. Out of shame or something. I don't know. To each his own.

To each his or her own. Okay. We're in Russia. How are you going to, how are you going to make a cool car chase in Russia? You're not going to use a car. That's right. Here's what you going to do, my friend. What's that?

I want to see you. Uh-huh. Right behind the wheel. Yeah, yeah. of this probably American Abrams tank dressed up to look like a Russian tank. I'm on board. Good, let's do it. It's great.

It's a long scene. It's a long chase. It's got everything you want it to have. He uses the giant artillery cannon on the front of it. He runs over cars. It's just cool how quick it is. And it skis. He drives through walls.

It has a statue on top of it at some point. He fixes his top. which then makes me think in the world is not enough. You shouldn't pull that one again. Or at least do it another time and make it your deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Right. Well, I mean...

Maybe he was planning it in the movie. I think one of our mutual favorite moments in Skyfall is him fix it as cuffs. Yeah. He's pretty good at improvising driving vehicles that most people don't know. I know. The airplane. And my understanding is, can one person really drive a tank? I don't know.

Can one person really drive? I think so. Yeah, I don't know if you can drive and fire. Yeah, that I don't think you can. But this movie in Rambo 3, you sure can. Good news, everybody. Yeah. I am the proud owner of M's jacket.

Dame Judy Dench. Of some sweet, sweet skyfall shoes. Oh, boy. Goldenh. Your feet will love you. Okay. $395. Great deal.

Handmade shoes from England. Oh, they're 11.5. 11.5. Medium width. I'm going to be good. Wow. Nice, dude. Thanks, guys. When will we see those? How long are those going to take to get here? Well, they'll probably be here right next week.

Really? I'm going to wear them. If you don't wear those to the next podcast recording. It's on. You need to wear all your James Bond gear. Yeah. I'll wear this top four sunglasses. What if I show up in M's jacket? And you've found all the original buttons?

Oh God, that would be great. I don't see him for months. He's been tracking each button individually down. I've been to landfills. He's looking through landfills. He's been everywhere. He's found the buttons. Oh, God, that'd be great.

If you could set the Guinness Book of World Records for most money spent on their jacket on that and finding the original buttons, that would be amazing. The Shankra stones. That, okay. So, I mean, the tag scene's great. They try to top it.

in Tomorrow Never Dies, but they go a little overboard with the BMW chase. Oh, God. Now, I think now it goes to Cuba, right? Cuba. Cuba.

Figure this out for me. I think you, right? Okay. Yeah, because they trace it. They trace Boris, right? They trace Boris. Yeah. Wait, isn't there the train thing?

She traces Boris from the train. Yeah. From the Russian. Russian train that they used to use. Which is also in the game. This is another flashback I haven't thought of in years. That's a level that you go through the train. That's where Sean Bean kisses her and it's very uncomfortable.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's where the general gets killed. And I feel like he's a bit of an unceremonious death. I think like he was a good character, a good actor. He's the bad guy. Like, Sean Bean, that's the problem here is that like... Effectively the bad guy. You learn too much about him too late, as you said.

and like he sort of takes over, but you don't really care. I mean, like, you want, you want this guy to have more of a comeuppance, you know? Yeah, I mean, I think, uh... He's very funny in that tank chase when he keeps drinking out of his flask. Yeah, I think Russians that are drinking is a fun stereotype. It's a fun stereotype. This movie's full of fun stereotypes. Yeah, I guess all James Bond movies are full of fun stereotypes, right?

Yeah, they're built on it. So, Cuba. Cuba, please. They have to go to Cuba. Cuba. Rosnin goes to Cuba twice That's true He does go to Cuba twice

Wade gets him out there Wade helps him out a little bit Dwayne Wade Dwayne Wade helps him out They're driving the BMW around We didn't even talk about the Q scene Great Q scene We didn't even talk about that

And we need to talk about that That's the last Is he reading his lines? That's the last true For me That's the last true Q scene Because you guys Because it's just Desmond Llewellyn and it's in the lab.

Whereas in Toinan Ever Dies, it's in the field. And in World's Not Enough, it's in Scotland with John Cleese already there. And it's a weird goodbye saying. Yeah. I'm pretty convinced to Q is reading off Q cards. He absolutely is reading off of Q cards. Yeah, absolutely. Q is reading off Q cards.

But let's talk about this. This is a scene. Craig and I were talking about how ridiculous it is. but also how much we enjoy it. It's really fun and I feel like that's what you sort of miss in the new ones and I like the Daniel Craig stuff. But you don't have that humor.

Some of the jokes in this are a little like the guy in the telephone booth and it's like an airbag blows up. It's a little cheesy but overall you're just having a good time. Sure. Yeah. And I feel like when you're a kid watching these movies, it's 1995, you're in fifth grade. You make the

A team in basketball. And that's what draws you to the movie. It's not just the action. It's the humor. You know, you didn't deserve to be on the A team. Zach Chima should have made it. But you got on there and he later died of lupus, right? Or do I have that wrong? What's that? Did he later die of lupus? I don't think so. I hope to God. Zach Chima, I hope you're out there. And dying of lupus. He was better. He was better to me than basketball, but I made the A team. But here's the thing is the humor. The action is good, but you like the humor. You like the jokes. You like the puns. Sure. And I feel like now it's, the movies are great. But I feel like, but I feel like,

I feel like it lost a little bit of that. And that's why I like, again, Golden Eye, it feels like a throwback to the jokes. You know what I mean? That's what you love about James Bond. I like, I like it. I like the QCIN.

I like the lab. I like the lab technicians in the background. I like shit going wrong. I like the jokiness. I like the don't touch that. That's my lunch. Maybe I can finally crystallize my distaste

for the Braznan movies this way. I think I do enjoy the more Roger Moore side of the Brosnan movie. like the Q scenes, him straightening his tie. And I've said this before, obviously, I have a problem with some of the tone shifts that it gets too serious.

That's when I don't like it. If it would all stay to that side, I think I'd enjoy these movies quite a bit, but it doesn't. And I don't want the Daniel Craig to shift too much to the comic side because that will feel weird too. No, I agree.

I don't think he could pull it off. I feel like they're doing it right for them, but it's just something that you miss. Yeah. Well, it's the same, it's the whole, it's the Batman debacle. It's the Batman. argument, which is the, there's the gritty

Christopher Nolan Batman universe, and there's the Daniel Craig James Bond universe. But the other side of that is Roger Moore, Adam West. There's this Roger Moore, Adam West, Val Kilmer, sort of Batman era. George Clooney. And then there's the John Conry era, which would be in my mind the Michael Keaton era of Batman. You know what I mean?

It's got a little bit of both, a decent mix of it, and not too far in either direction. And that's where you sort of land. But with Roger Moore, you know what you're getting. Well, I mean, initially you don't. Honestly, initially he's not, he sort of finds his footing after, I think, the man of the golden gun. Yeah, but even from the beginning, they're shooting for that kind of campier side of things.

He's great. Roger Moore is so good. We're pretty excited. It's going to get real good. Live and let die next week. If you've had difficulty getting through this period like I have, and if that has been because of my attitude, I just urge you to hold on to the next episode

when we get to live and let die and everybody's going to just have a great time and we're all going to be friends again. Let's talk about the pen, the exploding pen. Yeah. Okay. It's a gadget. It's one of those gadgets that very specifically

for that specific situation, we know it's going to get about of something. You know the second you see it, this is going to be the... Actually, you know the second, second, you see the trailer where it shows every part of the movie. But it doesn't feel as reversed engineered as the avalanche jacket or the avalanche. Oh, correct.

Yeah. But this one, you see the pen and you know this is going to play a role in the end of the movie. Yeah. And yeah, you know. And it does. So we go to Cuba. With, sorry, Cuba. We're in Cuba.

BMW is there for some reason. Somehow that got there. For product placement. Also, they're not in a period at that point. They're not in Cuba at that point. They're in Barbados, right? Whatever. They're close to Cuba.

Why are they hitting a Perrier truck in Russia? The tank, too. Well, why wouldn't you want to hit an empty bottle carrying? That's seen in Barbados. That's one of the movie really slowed down for me, where it's a crotch shot. You do get a full-on crotch shot. You know what's happening. The plan is for him to launch Golden Night over London to wipe out all the bank records

after he stole all the money and to send their economy into a tizzy, which is silly. It's a dumb plan. It's a dumb plan for a number of reasons, because if you wipe out the economy, the money you just stole is worthless. Yeah. Makes no sense,

unless your only plan is really just pure chaos. What one movie has a good plot? Yeah, that's true. Is that the only one? That's not just absolutely ridiculous. That has a reasonable... Because even under Manchester Secret Service, makes follow, scene following sense,

but it's still a little ridiculous that he's going to hypnotize all these women. Yeah, and become sleeper agents. I mean, God, from Rush with Love, that makes sense, yeah. It's a good plot. They're all just ridiculous. Well, I mean, living let die. That's part of why you love them.

Living Let Die is, is... But then it, like, maybe has supernatural elements. Yeah. Living Daylights? That one's all right, huh? Well, we'll figure this out at the end. We do our final recap. Licensed to kills, all right.

Okay, so they're in a rush. They know what's happening. They know the plan. They know the golden-eye satellite is going to be launched. They have to wait for the 6 o'clock window, for them to fly in undetected. You know, FAA is aware of it. Everybody's aware of it.

They're going to fly in. There still seems to be no sense of urgency. You're right. It just slows down. Four and a half second shot of Isabella's crotch. Yeah. Natalia. Like, the framing is so odd.

Well, it's also like, you could just have them step off a plane and it's obvious they've had sex. You know what I mean? Like, why not just cut to like the next thing and we know they've had sex? It's starting to make me think because there's an odd crotch shot in Quantum of Solace that maybe there's a distinct through line of blue Terry cloth and weird crotch shots in James Bond movies. Maybe there is. We're starting to put together. Maybe that's the timeline.

Maybe it's not the cars. It's the crotch. I bet she's the Illuminati's involved in this. Obviously, also the lizard people. Yeah. Jay-Z, the lizard people, it's everybody. George W. Bush. He knows.

George W. Bush is a lizard person. We're in a round room and it's feeling like we're in a temple. We're in the Oval Office, gentlemen. Yeah. It does feel like we're a new MI6 here in the underground tunnel. Thank you. It's all brick. Okay.

So the movie slows down for no real reason. they go to Cuba to find this satellite dish Sadalite. Sadalite dish to find the Sadalite dish in Cuba to find out where golden eyes

is going to be launched. The ladies room. So then we see this giant it's the Costa Rican dish essentially it's the giant set one of those setty dishes one of these giant communication dishes that just tries to go into space. That's the real location.

It's a giant it's a giant dish it's like picture a dish and then it's like giant it's a giant satellite dish that's in the ground this whole situation

this whole the dish the way the dish appears the interior of this facility looks just like you only live twice yeah I thought of it yeah it's like the volcano layer

yeah except this has actual water, not painted water. That's true. Miniature water. Miniature water. How did they do that? Water is impossible to miniaturize, by the way. You got to do everything. Sand. Salt.

Is that what they use? You mean for like waterfalls and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But check out when we get to the spy who loved me, that tanker at the beginning is a miniature and the water. It's so big the miniature itself that the water almost looks real. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. And if you, you know, next time you watch Ghostbust. Next time you pop in Ghostbusters When a Statepuff marshmallow man destroys the fire hydrant

That's just That's just sand getting shot up out of there Phantom Menace has miniatures in it You think it's all CG But I'll tell you what friends Listenin to this right now Not the truth They're using salt for waterfalls

Yeah watch check out Yeah See out yeah Check out TLC's most popular video Waterfalls Yeah Or watch the VH1 movie where they

dramatize the life of TLC, T-Baz, Lisa Lefey-Lopez, and Chile. Like, great. Yeah, L'EFLESA-L-L-L-Fes. Watch the Fantastic Mists or Fox. Some of those are miniatures. Some of those are miniatures.

Yeah. Watch the nightmare before Christmas. Any nightmare before cry. Oh, Jesus. Miracle on 34th Street. The nightmare before Christing Mass. Oh, Ian. How are you?

Well, I'll take one small interlude. Oh, well, it's a pleasure to have you back on our podcast. Don't you know, I say, I say, a tally-o and what-what and all that? I'm very feeble, don't you know? Yes, I understand. You've been dead for many years.

I've rotted away, but the blue terry-cloth jumper I've been buried in hasn't. You see, it's part polyester and has withstood the sands of time. Now, Ian, have you seen

Pierce Brousins and's James Bond movies? absolutely my old boy. What do you think of them, personally? I'm with Matt Gourling. Oh, you're always with Matt Gorman. Wise, beyond his years, roguishly handesome. You know? Anything else you have to say about Matt?

Well, he's a bit of a wit at parties. Chalk to the brim with whimsie. That is all. Have you seen the new gadget called the iPhone? No. Here. What? It's a movie theater on a small chocolate bar.

Ian Levin reacts to the iPhone. Now, what do you think about that? Do you think James would have a good time in the field with that? You know, I was never much into the gadgets. I didn't write them into my novels. And I never intended for them to be on the scrine. Well, you do. I mean, well, you're very specific about things that you write about.

You're very specific about the Walther P.P.K. He used a barretta, don't you know, in the original novels? Yes, yes. And then you changed it because of a fan letter. From Geoffrey Boothroyd. Jofrey Bootho. Wrote me about the difference between a Walther P.P.K. And a stout leather and a shammie leather holster. You see?

Sham leather you don't want. Well, you know, at first I was put off by his literary and critical advances, but then I saw that he took a comb to part his mustache down the middle. And I thought any man who's going to take the care to do that to his facial hairs must have something going on. And so I'm glad I did. And from this day forward, I part every hair on my body straight down the middle. Are you aware, Ian, that the BBC has... Oh, dreadfully aware.

Yes, they've released a... Or they're releasing a... I think the chap that's playing me is rather swarthy. Oh, so you're a fan. Well, I don't know. He's straight-haired. I'm curled. Graying at the temples, very distinguished.

I smoke with a cigarette holder, and I have the clearest blue eyes like a pool in Barbados. You can see. Yes, of course. So it's something you would want, the actor. Yes, I have to go now. Oh, well, thank you for stopping by. Goodbye.

Matt's going to be really bummed out. He missed you again. That was frightening. It was, well, I mean, sometimes occasionally, Craig, I should have warned you. Ian Fleming stops by the podcast. Guys, what did I miss? to go to the bathroom.

Well, you're not going to believe this. A rotting corpse of a dead man. Yeah. You missed. Ian Fleming, who I think was cremated. You missed him. He was just here. I miss him every time.

But I will say this, he thinks quite highly of you, Matt Orley. Does he? Yeah. I didn't even know he knew me. Yeah, no. Apparently he listens. He's a fan. Really?

And he's also observed you at parties. Oh, my God. That's pretty interesting, right? Wow. That's really. something. Anyway, let me just take off these glasses. Oh, man. Oh, eat, eat, uh, oh.

Uh, all right. So let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's talk about the conclusion of golden eye. Okay. All takes place inside this evil layer. Yeah. And the satellite dish. They managed to work in an evil layer in an organic way that you believe it in a modern world. Yeah. But who are all these people working for them? Again, probably just children. of murdered

of the shadows. I guess that is a bit of a thing you've got to take for granted or willing suspension of disbelief that people can just amass an army and that... Yeah, I mean, since the dawn of time, people have been able to amass an army.

A dawn of time, beauty and the beast. Tale is the oldest time. Oh, Ian. Song is oldest rhyme. Something about a lyric. But why and the beyond... I kept... Matt left the second he started singing.

He's not even going to believe it. Like, he's, first of all, his question is going to be how is Ian Fleming aware of Beauty and the Beast theme zone? What would I do to be where you are? I do think... He knows more than most grown men that I know. He's now singing... What do you call them? ...feet.

Up where they run. Up where they sun. Up where they have lyrics up in the sun. Wondering. free, wish I could be. I have to go. Hey, guys, what I missed. Oh, my God.

I just passed someone when the lights went out there for a second. There was this freak blackout. Ian Fleming was here again. Come on, he's dead. He was singing Disney hits. Two different Disney songs. Oh, this is ridiculous. On with the podcast.

You're really, I mean, just don't, whatever urge you have to leave, don't do it. Okay. Just don't do it. I have to pee right now. You don't know, don't. Okay, I won't go. Just don't go. Well, there's nobody here.

Oh, right? Let's go on. Okay. Let's figure out what we like and didn't like about the end of this movie. Alan Cumming gets very angry about the fact that he cannot... He is in wincible. He is in weintable. That he cannot crack Natalia's code.

Natalia very smartly encrypts... Love it. She encrypts the... computer. When's the last time a Bond Girl, like, really... Encribes it and incubating. Yeah, if you know what I mean. When is the last time?

I mean, she's pivotal in saving the day in this one. She's great. She's great so much. And Alan Cummings almost punches her in the face. Oh, yeah. He's stopped by, uh, by, uh, what's his name? Uh, I don't know. Wait, what?

He's about to punch. What's her name? And then what's his name? Stops him. I am so lost with what scene you're talking about. Boris is about to punch her because she encrypted and he can't break the encryption. Yeah, but then Sean Bean stops her. Sean Bean.

That's right. Yeah. That's right. Because even he has some standards. Yes. After kiss raping her. There's one rule. There's one rule in all the James Bond movies.

The only person that can hit a woman is James Bond. Yeah. And never let them see you believe. Or another woman. And always have an exit plan. Of course, the words that Q instilled to us over many years. Which we only find out about the one time he says that when he leaves. I've always tried to teach you two things.

Right now. I've always tried to teach you two things right now. So she also is handed a gun in this, and she knows how to use it, which I enjoy very thoroughly. because sometimes, you know what we see a lot in the James Bond movies is just girls that don't, like, they don't know how to handle a gun and James rolls his eyes, that kind of a situation. So, Sean Bean gets the satellite to go, but Natalia encrypts it.

She's very smart. She encrypts the computer. Boris can't break it. Boris is feverishly trying to break it. Then he gets mad and is going to hit her. Sean Bean stops her. But then... He has a pen.

Oh, my God. He has a pen, and he is clicking that pen. See, how did he get the pen? Oh, it was taken out. All of the stuff was taken out. So James' Omega C Master was out. His Omega G Master. He's Omega P Master.

His Mega D Master. His Walter P.P.K. His Walter Cici Bay. All this stuff that he had. He was searched, and it was all sitting there. And the pen was right there, and Boris just picked up the pen and started playing with it. And guess what? That pen wasn't just a pen.

That's the pen. No, no, no, no, no. It was more than a pen. That was the pen. Now, remember the beginning of the movie when Q gave him the exploding pen? I do remember that. I don't think that this has anything to do with that. No, but guess what?

The pen that he ends up holding is that pen. Oh, my Christ. So when he is clicking the pen, what I like about this is he, Alan Cummings is clicking the pen, and Pierce Brasden is constantly doing math in his head, but you can't follow it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm sure somebody. has watched it being like I'm going to count the numbers of clicks. What if he was a great if he got it wrong and did that whole thing like, duck, duck?

And then nothing happens. Yeah, because it's like three clicks, then two clicks or something stops it. But one click wouldn't stop it. No. Sean Bean and James, after the, after the explosion is set off, shit goes down. They got to escape. James grabs the gun. They are running out there.

Sean Bean and James Bond are going to have it out on top of. a very tall satellite dish. Picture the end of cable guy. Picture the end of cable guy. Change nothing. It's pretty much the same. Change nothing. But make it daylight. Yeah. That's the difference.

And instead of Jim Carrey, it's Sean Penn as Sean Bean. Let's talk about this. That fight scene, in that in that little room between Sean Bean and Pierce Brasen. I enjoyed it very much. Yeah, I think this is. a good ending sequence. It's a very good ending sequence. It does harken back to the elevator in Diamonds of Forever and more specifically the train car.

Yeah, for Russia with Love. It's nice. It's the closed. And it's a good death for a villain. It's a great death for a villain. And you see him like fall and it looks like they show him breaking his leg and like break his leg. You know what? You know I'm no fan of the Brazans, but I will say that this Brosnan movie is better than some of the Conner.

and mores. Whoa. What the fuck? Who are you again? Are you Ian Fleming? Yes. Matt Gawley does not think that way. Can you just stay here for five minutes?

I just ducked behind the couch to pick up my exploding pen. Matt, are you okay? Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But I also like the close hand-to-hand combat in this pretty good.

Yeah. The punches sound. sound hard. Right, that's right. It's nice. It's pretty good. The bunch of, yeah, it all sounds great. And Natalia somehow gets into a helicopter.

Right. Somehow gets to do a helicopter. Also, how does that thing get close enough to that satellite without hitting? The rotor blades. It's some weird trick for photography. Yeah. So a huge fight up top of the satellite, ending with James Bond murdering Sean B. Yeah, letting them go.

Picture the end of Canada. For England, James, he says. For England, James. Yeah. For me. Drops him. Yeah. Drops him to his death.

Yeah. No, he's not dead. That's right. Drops him to his, uh, the rest of his life. To the rest of the rest of his life. It does have a feel of what, what is the movie? Is it naked gun where someone keeps getting killed over and over? Oh yeah.

O.J. Simpson where he falls off the boat. Yeah, yeah. It's a classic scene. Yeah. Uh, J. Simpson, who was, um, a football player and then he became an actor. No. And I think that's, uh, then he went back to, then he went into, uh, football commentary. Yeah.

Very successful. That's all career after that. Oh, man, those Hertz commercials? Pretty dope. Pretty dope. Pretty great. Orenthall Simpson. Oranthal James.

Orange, James. USC. Which is like, whatever I don't, whatever we're talking about something on, either on at midnight or, or on the nerdist, and I don't know, and we're talking about some middle name.

I always tell, I always say the middle name is Orenthal James. Do you know what my middle name is? Ornthal James. It's just James. Oh, my God. How about that? Matthew James.

Yeah, very biblical. I'm Matthew Paul. Are you really? Very biblical as well. Craig Eli. You know who? Eli is pretty biblical. Eli is very biblical.

Is your middle name Jesus? Yeah. Yeah. What is it? But you're not going to say what that is? Really? I'm afraid people... Well, we don't need her to tell us what her middle name.

I just thought she might want to be in a guess. I'm going to guess it. I'm going to guess it. Do you know what my mom's first name is? Wellford. Wellford. Wellford. Yeah.

The first name? Yeah. That's awesome. That is kind of crazy. My mother's first name is Mary. Oh. Again, very biblical. My mom's name is Wellford, Catherine, Nolan, Ward, and Merrill.

Wow. Wow. It's crazy, huh? Matt? I mean, Craig, what's your mother's name? Barbara? That's a good name. Barbara's a good name.

Paul. Yeah, oh, you know who else is a Matthew Paul? Matt Walsh. Oh, really? Matthew Paul Walsh. It's fun to learn these things about each other, guys. James Bond's middle name? Does he not?

No, his first name is Bond, his middle name's James. His last name is Bond, Bond, James. Come on, guys. He's not even being a pretentious dick when he says that. He's just... Bond, James. All right, so, Alex dies. As I cough us off.

Bond jumps into the heckalopter. And then... They land and then they start fucking immediately. But then Wade shows up. And gets in on the actual. Wayne Wade's like, let me dunk this basketball. B Wade takes his talents to South Beach with the Marines. And Eric Sarah's soft-poor-corn music.

What? Soft-core porn music. Soft-pore porn music. Soft-pore corn. It's like what you really like soft pores in your skin with corn. Soft-poor corn. And there we have golden eye. James Bond.

Golden-Ey. Pierce Brousen's first entry into James Bond. Yeah. I mean, closing thoughts on, now that we've left, now that we've left our good friend Pierce in the past, now that he's not in our show anymore. Do you have any closing thoughts on Pierce Broson?

I like the man a lot. Love the man. Don't care for his Bond movies. Gold and I, pretty respectable film. In its time, though, it still doesn't hold up against, you know, the diehards and stuff, though, I don't think. But as a relaunch of James Bond, it kickstarted it back.

Do you think he gave it a little bit of... Yeah, definitely gave it the streettred again? That was immediately became the highest grossing James Bond movie since Moonraker. I guess the one reason why I feel okay sticking to my guns a little bit is even at the time, I don't, I didn't really love it. I think I felt like Roger Moore... light or something, I don't know. Or Roger Moore Dark.

That's my favorite brand of beer. Yeah, Roger Moore Dark is a great brand of beer. It's not very filling. What would that be? It'd be like a raspberry cider, but just dark. Like it's a dark color. Like chocolate and raspberry. It's right.

But it is, you know, if this had a good David Arnold's score, it probably be a pretty good movie. David Arnold, who acknowledged us on Twitter at one point. That's right. We were pretty excited about it. Yeah. I was pretty excited about that. Yeah, here's my closing thoughts on James Bond.

James Bond, not James Bond, but Pierce Brasden was James Bond. 1995, I was 12 years old. Yeah. Good age. Right? 12 years old. He was my James Bond from the ages of 12 to 20. Great age.

That's pretty good. You're going to love that bond no matter who you are. Yeah. That's your air. That's just, that's the. problem with my, you know, I'm looking at it through a rose-colored glasses, if you will. I'm remembering a time when I was a teenager, an adolescent boy, and this guy was the coolest guy on the planet.

But it's like you had a consistent dad. I didn't. I had Roger Moore and Dalton and then no one in that formative years, you know. Yeah. I didn't know what home was, you know? I didn't know how to behave. And as a result, I have daddy issues. And I don't like my Brazens and I'm in love with my Craig because I like the bad man. I like Craig a lot too. I really do. I like Craig's a good guy. Craig's a good guy. Craig, oh my God, Craig.

So in closing, I mean, Pierce, you turned in some performances. Yeah, Pierce, I don't want you to think I like you, Pierce, a lot. Pierce, you know what your best James Bond movie was? The Thomas Crown Affair. That's true. That's true. Damn.

That's not even a diss because that man had full creative control of that movie. Did he? Yeah. And that movie came out great. Well, that's saying something, I think. It's not necessarily Brosnan. And he doesn't really do any hurt acting in that movie.

So maybe he was directed into the hurt acting. Maybe he was. We've got to get to the bottom of his hurt acting. James Bonding will return. With... Live and Let Die. And Paul F. Tompkins will be back. Living and let die.

By request of himself because he likes this movie. Request of himself. Yes. I'm having trouble. words on account. I'm still jet lag. Do you know I had my first ever sleep deprivation hallucination? What? The night we got back from Scotland and Ireland.

I was so tired. I hadn't slept. You didn't sleep on the plane? Uh-uh. Because plane seats are at an angle where your head continually falls forward, no matter where you sit. And so I was in my bed, but I definitely passed out. And 30 seconds later, I sprung up and went, he's in the house. and my girlfriend freaked out. And then I immediately knew I was hallucinating,

but it didn't stop because I'm like, well, there can't be a purple straw man that's invading our house. And then I knew I was hallucinating, but I saw things to my right and my left. And I've never had that happen before. It was crazy. That's insane.

Yeah. And then what I started to see was diminishing. It was like your eyeball floaters when you see those little specks. They would just flit in and disappear, but it was really something. It's funny how your brain like has to assign things. Yeah.

to whatever objects are in its view. So I've been waking up at 4.30 and 6 a.m. every morning. That shouldn't let people who are thinking about going to Scotland, England. That shouldn't color their whole perception of what it's like to go on a trip. I think you should. I will tell you exactly what you do. If you're going to fly over to England, take a little dream water with you. You can buy it in the airport.

Dream water is just like a, it's a water that has a little, whatever the hell NyQuil has in it. You don't know what you're going to get until you drink it. And be flying or you're going to be flying? What does it have it? Maybe you take a little NyQuil. Wait, what is this? Whatever NyQuil has that puts you to sleep. Okay.

It's called Dreamwater. Opiates? Never heard of this. I'm a grown man. You'll look at an airport. Look at an airport. You'll see it. And you take that, you take that as soon as you get in the terminal.

Really? Drink that shit up. You get on the plane, about an hour in. Out cold for the full 10-hour flight. Our luggage was lost the entire way there and the entire way back. We got it a little bit late. but also I went to my family ancestral home like Skyfall in Ireland but it's all broken down it ain't the same it's like after the fire

anyway we really got a run Craig you have anything you like to plug yeah you can listen to that podcast I mentioned an hour and a half ago called it's that episode check it out Matt's a guest people are a guest it's a lot of fun yeah and just be yourself be yourself that's another thing is just be yourself

and call a friend you haven't called in a while. Yes. Tell them you appreciate them. Why not? You know? And you know it? If you're mad at a friend, put it away. Put that away and just put it behind you. Craig, good advice. As always, thank you.

You guys got some entertainment and some life advice here today. Yeah. You got everything. I don't know what more you could want from a podcast. For Matt Goreley and for Matt Myra. We are saying so long. And have a wonderful. This is a new catchphrase.

I've been alerted. Just remember these two things. Never let them see you bleed. Yeah. And always have an escape plan. Also, can we say we will do our best to be weekly, but just it is a super busy time for us. It's a super busy time for both of us.

I'm working like a maniac around at midnight, which you can tune into at midnight. And I'm cloning children. He's doing that. And Matt is also working on writing some stuff that needs to get done. So we're going to try our best. And I'm just chilling.

You never know how I watched you from the shadows as a child. Goodbye, everybody. Now leaving nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neckamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food. and I started a podcast. Season 3 has just begun

with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point and we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor.

Fake nuts. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men, corpses, and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer.

Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circledly cross out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middle Ditch. Jesus, I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning.

Season three, Aful From the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.