James Bonding - James WonderConing

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

It's a live James Bonding from WonderCon with guests Jordan Morris, Ali Ward and Georgia Hardstark! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. I'm going to go over here. Thanks, guys. Listen, we're having some troubles with Matt Goreley, who is shooting a Volkswagen commercial right now. I guess we know where his allegiance is lie. With the Nazi car. If you drive a Volkswagen, you should feel a little guilty about it.

Mercedes also. I'm not going to get into that. Anyway. So what I thought I'd do is I ran, into some people back there who I think would be great co-hosts. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to audition a couple people to be co-hosts of James Bonding.

The first people I'd like to bring out, it's a duo, they come as a pair. Please welcome Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani. Guys, just sit here. This is the goarly area. Oh, hello, Emily. Hi. Hi.

Yeah, sit. Yeah, grab a mic. We don't have to get on this like we're doing a podcast because they can hear us fine. I don't have to be here. And I just hit my two Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Guys, what will you bring to the table for a James Bond podcast? I really like the suitesy wears.

Okay. All right. Yeah, I do too. This is great. Kumal? I know what the bad guys in Octopusy are saying. Oh. This is valuable information.

Yeah. Are they saying what the subtitles say they're saying? Sometimes, sometimes not. Sometimes some rewriting happened after it was already shot. Interesting. What? This is amazing. I remember when I was a little kid, I was watching that, and they started speaking in Hindi, and I got so excited,

and the subtitles didn't match, and I was like, they're lying to us. What else have they lied to us about? Everything. America's the enemy. You know. Is that where you left it? Yeah, that's what I was like, all right, no more James Bond.

If you get one thing out of James Bond movies, it's that America's the enemy. That's really what you should be. getting. Even though he's British. Exactly. Exactly. Emily, you've been on.

I have been on. You did Quantum of Solis? I did. Quantum of Salas. That was a fun episode. And Kumail, you were supposed to be on an episode about a license to kill. And that's when I came up with the name for you, Kubail non-show-uppy. You know what?

I think what I bring to the podcast in is that I come to the podcast. That's what I'm bringing. That's valuable stuff right here. It's a valuable skill. You know two languages. I show up. I feel like that was. We tried to do that a month ago,

and you have yet to reschedule. Oh. Yeah. That is true. You guys look great tonight. How's everybody doing? Let me handle it, Emily. Okay, sorry, sorry.

You guys look great tonight. No, I really want to do it. Listen, I'm free now, and I can totally do it. Let's set a date and time, and we'll do it. Didn't I just hear you in a real conversation say, I'm leaving for all of May? No. I'm here.

I'm around all of May, is what I said. around all of me. I'm only leaving for one week. Guys, this is not for you. Don't worry about it. This podcast is called logistics, and it's just us working out people's schedules for a while. You guys are both fantastic,

and I would love to have Emily back on before I have Kumail on for the first time. Fuck yeah, buddy. But I'm going to let you guys go, because you just did a panel. Thank you so much for being here. Do we get fired? Go, you're both fired.

I'm not hiring you. I have so many opinions on James Bond. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, guys. Now, I'm going to actually bring in, I do have an actual Phil and co-host. He was on the Tomorrow Never Dies episode, and because he agreed with me about Pierce Brosnan, I said, come on out here. Ladies gentlemen, Jordan Morris.

Jordan, please have a seat. Jordan also writes on At Midnight with me, which is a television show on The Comedy Centrals. Yeah, you should watch that. Hey, Matt, how about that office we share? Oh, boy, it's great. We have so many inside jokes. So, as a fellow Pierce Brosden supporter, how do you feel about this news of Mrs. Doubtfire, too? I mean, I just want to know more about Brosnan's character. How did he recover from the run-by-fruiting?

What if he is traumatized for life? Yeah, what if he screams every time he walks by a farmer's market? The man can't go into a farmer's market on a Sunday. Do you know what that's like in San Francisco if you can't do that? His life is a living hell. But it's so nice of you to come out here, and you're one of my favorite guests. that we've ever had. And I asked two of my most favorite guests to be with us today. They were on what I would say, the most controversial episode of James Bonding, which was Goldfinger. And I had them go ahead and watch Casino Royale. And we're going to get their thoughts on Casino Royale right now. Please welcome. You've seen them on the Food Network and on the cooking channel and on podcasts like mine and their own. Please welcome, Allie and George. We have name tags for you guys right here. Yeah, look at that.

Well, I mean, technically, if you want to slide that over, give me alleys. Yeah, Gourley died. Matt, Gourley, he's not here. In a Volkswagen. If he does, I'd feel so bad. I take that back. You're some sort of podcasting Nostradamus.

Oh, no. Pete Holmes was never seen again. You can will any podcaster to die. Oh, this is great. Look out, grammar girl. Who? Grammar girl? That's like the most popular podcast.

Grammar girl is a podcast? I've never heard of it. It's like way more popular than all of our podcasts. Oh, all right. But you've never heard of it. It's probably why I've never heard of it. Gramer girl fans in the house. Ladies, welcome back to James Bonding.

Thank you. We're terrified. Yeah, we're terrified to you guys. You guys were so mean to us last time we were. No, I don't think it was them. Can I just say that since we went on this podcast, if you Google us, it goes Allie and Georgia Annoying is the first Google. Because of this podcast.

You people did that to them. Yeah, thanks so. Thanks, guys. Sorry to the dissent against Bond, but it ruins our lives. Was anybody here a vocal, like, internet person who did not care for that episode, just so I can see you in person?

Let's see your face. No, no one's admitting that. Actually, because of my appearance on James Bonding, the first thing that comes up is Jordan Morris sex machine. Oh. That's weird. It is. It's really weird.

I guess I just gave off that vibe. Is just Matt Myron narcissist? And the answer is yes. Because we've all apparently Googled ourselves. Well, you got to check this shit out. You never know. But welcome. Thanks for coming back on.

Thank you so much for having us. We learned a lot about ourselves and about your fans and about James Bond. Can I actually, could I just get it just as someone who did not notice the backlash? What was so controversial about the appearance? Well, here's the, this gentleman knows. He loved it. You, thank you, sir. You're snickering like a Muppet.

So they... Allie and Georgia had never seen a James Bond movie. I think that people thought that the James Bonding podcast was to talk about how great it was. No, it's just to talk about it. Yeah. Either we didn't get that or they didn't get that. We came on to talk about issues. Yeah.

We realized very quickly that that's not the form. I thought I would start them with Goldfinger, which is the standard. It's the Bond movie with the most golf playing in it. Yeah. With an insanely long fucking golf scene. With a Slossinger 7, strict rules of golf. I love that movie. Ooh, Matt Gourley is texting me right now.

And he's going to, I'm going to have him call in as Ian Fleming. So, you guys, I had you. Let me catch the audience up. Goldfinger apparently, misogynistic. Maybe he turns a lesbian. straight just by forcing himself on her in a barn. Things I didn't notice.

As a child. I just thought that's what you do to women. You go for a roll in the hay. Literally, that's what that meant to me. You pin someone's limbs down in a barn and the next thing you know. But they had fun. They just kept judo

flipping each other and then they fell in love. Friendly wrestling. That's how relationships work. usually. Is this why I have not been in a fulfilling relationship? You don't want to go back and re-look at your strategy among us. And on your wedding night, you dunk her head in a trough. And then you're married, guys.

It's just the birds and the bees. But you guys, so you guys saw the, what is widely considered, this is the best James Bondway. He's got everything. It's got the Aston Martin. Is that I'm not even... It's widely considered. Guys, you can back me up on that.

It is. To say, I didn't not like it. I just thought, oh, we're going to dissect this. Let's get rid of. real. As a whole thing, I'm like, okay, yeah, I can see white people. But then you're like, but this thing happened and I can't ignore that all these people's

families are missing their loved ones because you just mowed them down. Yeah. Maybe I just think too much. Hey, Matt Gourley. Oh. Let me put you on speakerphone. Go.

We were just wondering if you happened to be around Sir Ian Fleming. Oh, this is convenient, but also weird that you guys are never in the same place at the same time. But whenever you can give you in the phone, we'll gladly speak with him. You get running, and if anybody picks up, there's just nothing I can do about it. Oh, well, yeah, sure.

Well, thanks, Matt. Well, I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to you later. Bye, Matt. All right, bye. Good talk. Hello, Mr. Fleming, it's Matt from the James Bonding podcast. This is the other, this is the other man.

This is the Matt that you've met every time, because Matt, Gourley is never around when you happen to be speaking. What? Oh, that's fair. I see. You only remember things visually. I understand. Ian Fleming, can you put H.R. Geiger on the phone?

That was Jordan Morris. We were just here, we were just talking a little bit about Goldfinger. Oh, yes. No, I was well aware. And we just wanted to know why did you think it was okay for, James Bond to sort of just force himself onto a lesbian to make her straight. Oh, so you only like white British males.

Absolutely. It's just an agenda I have, you know. Well, it's an agenda you've really established well. Well, yes, I'm not an amateur. No, you're not an amateur. You're very much a professional, and we appreciate that. I mean, I love Chitty Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang. Yes, Chidey, Chidey, bong-bong. The book is called Goldfinger. Oh, yeah, no, I know, but you did such a good job on the film adaptation of it that I just wanted to say.

You're really an inspiration to all of us here at WonderCon. Actually, it's a little hard to hear you from the panel, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to let you go shoot a Volkswagen commercial with Matt Gorely. As soon as I hang up, you'll turn around and he'll be there. You might have disappeared. Maybe that Matt Gourley could be there. I didn't want to, but I wish he could be there. Well, I thank you so much, Ian Fleming. Ladies gentlemen, please a round of applause for Mr. Ian Fleming.

I'll call you guys later. It was fun. Tallyho. Tallyho. That was Ian Fleming, guys. It's weird that I called me. Guys, I'm getting a call from Robert Lewis Stevenson. Oh, my God.

Treasure Island's own. Hello, it's me, Robert Lewis Stevenson. What country was I from? I don't guess. I don't know. Pirate country? like Somalia? In my wildest dreams, Mac Worley is like on stage right now

and he like called a time out or whatever you do in the commercial, but like He did actually say that he was doing that. He said that he had to call. So he stopped a commercial to do that. But guys, let's get serious. So Goldfinger wasn't your favorite movie. So then I said to you, hey, why don't you do me a favor and all these people a favor and watch what is currently my favorite James Bond movie?

Casino Royale. Yeah. Yeah, right? 2006, Casino Royale. Fantastic film really sets everything up in the right direction. And I feel like maybe it panned out exactly like I thought it might. Look at my... Everyone said to us, you have to see Casino Royals.

Yeah, they said, you watched the wrong one. And we're like, oh, is he cool in the other movies? And they're like, yeah, yeah. There's usually a bitch that dies in the beginning. and then he kills a bunch of people. And we're like, okay, I get a formula here. But I feel like we went into Goldfinger, never having seen a James Bond movie. All I knew is that, like, there's a silhouette and he's got a gun or something.

He pretty much got it. That's pretty much it. That could also describe Alfred Hitchcock movies. Like chicken and turkey. What's the first movie you guys remember seeing? But going into Goldfiger, I think what was surprising to both of us was just like this time capsule of misogyny that was really beautiful in its purity. but it was also revolting.

They were just like, from the get-go, you're just like, this is ridiculous. Like, how is this made ever with anyone with a conscious? No offense. No, I mean, just because it's crazy. I just consumed and enjoyed it. It was crazy. But so, you know, you said watch Casino Royale.

Yeah, so I was like, hey, that was 1964. I get it. Exactly. The Times, you know? Welcome to 2006. I had no idea, though, because when I downloaded it, I didn't know if Casino Royale was from, like, 52, or if it was, like, from 78.

I had no idea. So I had to text George and be like, what year is this? Like, is it... And because there's another thing called Casino Real that came up. There was like a parody. And I was really excited about the parody.

And then I was like, ah, shit, I'm getting wrong. Can we swear on this? Because I'm going to... Yeah, you can. I mean, there's a child. But you've heard swears, right, buddy? He's heard swears.

He's good, right? Don't watch James Bond. Listen to me, say the F word all day long. Oh, is this what you're here to do is to say don't watch James Bond? I'm just saying, if you want your son, to be cool. Like, don't,

yeah, I'll teach him all the words. If you want you to be cool, watch all the James Bond. Well, maybe. I'm sorry. I don't need to be a hater. Maybe you just, maybe you skip some of the lady

interactions. Because you don't. Excellent. Why, thank you. Very much. That's what I was going to say. Sir, if you want your son to be cool, have him watch Triple X

starring Vin Diesel. And then Triple X, State of the Union, starring Ice Cube. And if you want him to imagine, what a fight would look like, watch all the bourns. If you want him to imagine a fight and then feel a little bit nauseous.

But it's good that you guys are enjoying the... Just teach him that women aren't disposable objects. Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was watching. What I want to say to you, young man, is that you don't have to kill the first woman you sleep with in every movie. Sometimes they're just there to be loved. I think that if a kid is...

You know, I was thinking about it to... And, like, it's taught a lot of dudes to be gentlemen. Like, Matt picked us up to come here. And, like, most dudes, like, me, me in my house. And, like, that's really nice. No. Is that James Bond or is that just, like, cool men? I think it's a lot of James Bond, but then I think that you need a good, like, a lady example, too, when you grow up.

What do you mean? What does that mean? I need a good lady example? Like tripping out. Watch a thing about cool girls, too. Your television program. I will say that James Bond has made you a fashionable person, though. Listen, I have a watch.

it's an Omega. I know. I went with you to buy this designer shirt. I also went to Barneys in New York and got the boots he wears in Skyfall. Boots, boots, boots, boots, boots. Nice. Thank you.

That was very gentlemanly to put your shoe in my face. You can only get these shoes, guys, in England or at the Barneys in New York. So I went to New York, and the first thing I did was get the shoes because I had to break them in. It all worked out. I went to Tempe, Arizona,

and got the wife beaters. that Vin Diesel wears in Triple X. It's in Tempe. You gotta go to Tempe. Jordan, you've seen Casino Royale, obviously. You're a fan of it. Yeah, yeah. I've liked all the Daniel Craig Bond movies quite a bit.

Yeah, they're all good. I'm a quantum of solace apologists. I am too, guys. It was only when I figured out. You have to watch it right after Casino Royale. Otherwise, you forget what happened in the movie. I saw it once, and then two years later, I was like, did I see that movie?

But then when I watched it right after, anyway, let's, hang on, let's just, let's check back in with these ladies. Oh, no. So, Casino Royale, first of all, Daniel Craig, hot or hot? Biarf. All I didn't think so. What is yarf? What is yarf me? You're getting some applause from this woman, this woman over here.

Nope. I have to disagree, and I did text. We were texting back and forth, and I was like, but think of him as like a football, like a soccer. player. Yeah. Because then you're like, oh, you're super hot

and you're in a food. He's probably more of a rugby guy. He's got that a lot of it. This is Georgia for people listening. Send hate mail to

Allie. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I did, um, I said, so hang on a second. I just want to be clear on this. You don't think

Daniel Craig is attracted? I had some thoughts. One thought was his cool shades are like someone's stepdad went to sunglasses hut on his lunch break. Also,

Those are Persols. I just don't like his face. He looks like a grumpy penis. Not into it. Also, he has a really prominent philtrum, which is this area of the face, and I couldn't stop looking at the ridges. And I was like, what am I looking at? He's so beige and shiny. This is amazing that you picked up on this watching it on an iPad.

I know, I know. I was watching on the iPad in the back of the car on the way down here. But I'm just saying that I just didn't. He's, I don't, you know, there's something. something so sandy about his appearance where he just watching the beach scene? No, all of it. He just looks like one of those guys

who would just have like a thatch of sandy golden pubs and I don't want him. I don't know. He's so white. Yes, he's very white. No, I don't know. He just looked so much. You wanted him to be funkier. He just looked very beige, but he looked angry a lot of the time. Probably if he were just like cool and like, hey, I'm

shopping for CDs and he were happy I'd be like oh, you're cool. But he's angry all the time. What was he shopping for? Zines? CDs. I did. I don't know. I was just thinking of something you would do on a Sunday.

Like, if he were to farmer's market smelling plums, he'd probably be cute, but he was just angry and he was killing people. What if James Bond hates his teeth? And he doesn't smile ever because he's just like, I don't know anyone out. He's just, so he's not like James Bond is embarrassed by his teeth. Probably. He was an orphan, so he never got like braces probably. That's a good.

No, he would go into a pretty wealthy family. Xanax, you guys. He'd go into a room and they'd be like, d'gu-d-g-d-d-d-and-he'd be like amazing. Titanium. Let me ask you, okay, so if you don't think Dale Craig is that, do you have a, like, who is like the James Bond

you find the most attractive? Why am I asking me? I mean, I would have, I would have, I would have bone down with any of the weird, you know, like, any of the weirds? Any of the weird poker players, but, you know. Wait, what?

They were fine. So, so you like a man with an eye patch and a scar. I like a guy who eats blood. I don't know. That happened, right? I don't know. So you're saying, you would have,

you would have gone. You would have. You would have. gone, you would have taken a giant African American gentleman over Daniel Craig. Yeah, he looked less like a grumpy people. Bleeding eye bad guy over Daniel Craig.

He just had some depth. I mean, he cried. Elderly Asian lady. Yeah, I'm here. Have you been with one? I like to. Have you been with an elderly Asian lady? Because yes.

Amazing. The guy with the bloody eye just looked like Pete from Mad Men to me the whole time. so I was just like picturing that. Well, the hair lines there. He looks like someone's cousin that comes to a barbecue that you're like, would I?

I guess. You know what I mean? Like, he looks like someone's like, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, those fuckable cousins. I don't know. Those fuckable barbecue cousins.

I'm so sorry. You have a cousin that you might be kind of attracted to? We should go get a hot dog. We've all been there, buddy. It's okay. Look at his people that he's sitting with. They're cool.

It's normal. We're cool. I just, um... Oh, he's got some... What's up? No, because I'm... No, I'm embarrassed. I think you're awesome.

I'm being, like, super... I'm being not appropriated. I'll give you $50 after this is that word. I feel bad. You know what? Come here. I'm gonna do it. I swear to God.

Wow, he's peeling off a wad. For the folks at home, no, myra is handing a child a $50 bill. This is what James Bond does. the con floor. Just to show you that I was not picking on you, enjoy that $50. No.

If anything, I respect you more than most of the men in this room is the only thing. Again, Allie Ward. They're all here for you. They all enjoy you. I'm going to die so alone. It's not even,

no, I just mean because he has a fresh, he has a fresh perspective on things. He hasn't been tainted by life? Yes. Like most of us. Or by women? No, you didn't. Let's, I don't know what's happening.

This is like an episode of Married with Children up here. I do look like pig. Ew. So sorry. Okay, no. I'm so sorry, Georgia, that you have to be associated with me in this podcast. I'm just going to. It was an amazing movie, though.

I loved it. And it was great. And I really love the sequel. Let's discuss the movie for a second. Okay. So this movie, I feel like, has one of my favorite opening action scenes ever. Okay. Which is the parkour.

through the construction. Yeah, yeah. That was intense. That was intense, right? It was very enjoyable. Oh, boy. I didn't know why we were chasing this guy, right? You're supposed to figure that out.

No, so I didn't have like a commitment emotionally to this scene because I'm like, what if he catches him? And he's like, oh, you're the wrong guy. Never mind. Like, they walk away. That would be the worst action scene in history. That'd be so great, though. Oh, I'm sorry.

The preceding 10 minutes were worthless. That'd be so great if you're like, whoops. And then the guy, they like, shake hands. And they're like, why did you, where were you running? He's like, I don't know. You were chasing you. Why were you running? Of course I was running. I would love that. If he just kept going into cul-de-sacs of action, and then he was like, oh, no, no, why?

He had to get out, and then do another one. That'd be great. And then do another one. Okay. That would be great. But I do agree with Georgia. There was, yeah, I think you want to like have a little bit more emotion behind the fight scenes, and so sometimes when you're just like, I don't know. But you also, you're like,

I have an inkling that James Bond is going to win this fight every single time. And that's why we go to the movies. We root for the guy in the white hat. I know, I know. But, yeah, so you're just like, okay, it's going to happen, and they're going to do, like, some stressful CrossFit for a little bit,

and they're going to... It did look really good, I will say, that it looked beautiful. The whole, yeah, it looked great. I liked when he drowned the Hesher guy in the sink. But he didn't know how long to drown him for? Like, come on. Well, I don't know. Wait, what?

In the very beginning when he, like... Yes, when he earns his license to kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so he drowns the guy. but like, like, we all know. Like, you've got to drown him for a little, like, I thought it was premature. I thought it was premature.

So your problem with the opening scene of Casino Royale is that he did not know to drown the man for longer? Yeah. Yeah. Like, he's going to Google it. So many live death shows, and I know, I've never drowned anyone, but I know you don't hold it there. Was that a, was that like a deleted, like a lost episode of your guys' TV show?

Yeah. For you. You learn how to make the perfect mojito and then how to drown a man in a subway restroom sink. No, but I want that show so bad. Fun cocktails and then murder. Yeah. It's called Death Busters, and we just try to kill some money each time.

I'd watch that. But yeah, no, I was like, oh, cool, he just did it in the sink. Okay, okay. So was there any sort of investment on your part being like, this is the first time, like, the character of James Bond? This is sort of his origin story. Was there any of that for you? No, that's what that was?

I didn't know what the hell was going on? Totally wouldn't follow that. You know what I did? During the opening credits, the song was, the worst. So memorable. I'm only going to say positive things from now. The song was so distinct and memorable. It was terrible. No, that song, I will go on record as saying, I know, it's pretty shitty. What is it?

It was Chris Cornell. I was going to shazan it. I was like, I knew it was something I didn't like. And it was very forgettable. Do you remember the song? Do you remember the song? No, you don't because it's forgettable. Where, where, whirl, where, where, where, we're, where, where, we're, we're, I thought it was so funny, though. I think you just sang Pearl Jam's Vitality. Same thing. Did you like the opening credits?

I loved the opening credits. The opening credits situation with the cards. It ruined it. Oh, the song ruined the credits. Like if that were anything else, the most beautiful opening credit. I feel like that song is engineered neurologically to make everyone air guitar whether they want to or not. And I was like, I am not even in control with my body. So it's the musical equivalent of the brown note instead of incontrollable shitting.

You play air guitar, then you shit your band. Go back and listen to it. back and let's do it. So okay, so I was like, all right, what's this? And there was some black and white, but I did not know he was getting his license to kill. Didn't get that. Didn't really pay attention. I was paying attention. I think we have a lot of...

No, I think that that's great. Problems with the way you watched this movie. No, I was most of the time I was texting Georgia to be like, this was like my brother at a student film and I had a brother, but I mean, I don't have a brother. But like the opening credits, they were black and white and they were moody, and I was like,

all right, I get it. I don't know what to do with you, Horrible. Like, I'm sorry. Here's my problem. I'm so, such a shirt.

I genuinely love you two as friends. I know, I know. But this might be the end. Two of us. Yes, of course. No,

no, no, no. I don't know. Okay, so, okay. Hey, guys, if Matt's disowning you as friends, do you guys want to come over to my house? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got this. Okay.

Here's a problem. This is like if you took me to a tomato convention and you were like, Allie, let's discuss this plate of juicy tomatoes. I'd be like, you know what, you guys, I hate tomatoes. And then everyone be like, like, what? And then I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't like it. And I'm trying so hard to find the good stuff, because it's like he's your idol and you're wearing his watch. And I like you so much, but I think they're so cheesy. And I don't know. I feel like

a real bad person. And I made a kid real. You, you, Allie, okay, hang on. Name one thing about the movie you liked. Okay. Here we go. I figured out how to ask. When they went to Uganda, I thought the jungle was so pretty. It was just like so lush and tropical. It was cool. It was very lush. Yeah, no, that was a very lush jungle. I liked seeing the cobras and the ferrets.

I think those were cute. Oh, they had a, they had a, um... It was a mongoose. Got it. And a snake. They had a ping pong table and the guy let the kid finish. The ping pong ball, yeah. Pinball was cool.

I liked the... The girl had nice boobs. The girl had nice boobs. I think we can all agree. We're going to be objective. If we're going to be objective, she was nice looking. What did I like? What about when Bonn got testicle smacked with a rope?

She did not get there. Oh, that happens. So hang on, let's back this up. Let's back this up. Here's what I wanted to tell everybody. Allie did not watch the last hour of the movie. But I wanted to ask her what she thinks happened. Definitely nothing happens for Bond's testicles.

So let's set the scene for everybody at home listening and for our lovely audience here. Where you left off was James had... It's the final round of the poker tournament. Right, because he kept taking day-long breaks and then he'd be in a rape shower, and I'd be like, what is what? Now, this woman enjoyed the idea of a rape shower.

What is going on there? I think the whole audience wants a rape show. No, I mean, after it, I was like, that looks amazing. But, like, there was a poker game, and then they were in the stairwell, and I loved how the woman was just like, I know what I'll do. I'll push on this locked door several times forever. But I did like that she was like, ma'am, ma'amah, I got your gun. And then, but then afterwards she felt so weird about it.

She was like in a full gown in the shower, which I've never killed anyone, but I'd at least take the dress off. And I'd be in a bath, to be honest. But I was just like, okay, then they got in it together. All right, all right. So they got in it together. He starts sucking on her fingers, he's trying to absolve her. Also, like, well, before I knew with the story, I'm like,

she should just leave. She's just leaving higher to work for this dude, right? Yeah. Like, go home and get a new job. Like, this sucks. Don't stick around. You don't want to sleep with this guy. Okay, so.

Does she, though? Here's where we are at this point. Has everybody in here seen Casino Royale, right? We're not going to spoil anything. Okay. So what, let's, let's, let's, let's, now he's got to go back after killing the, the Ugandan drug lord.

He has Mathis to take care of that. body. Yeah, yeah. So what happens? What happens next? I wrote this, well, you're in the bathroom. Okay. Okay.

She wrote down what she... Here's what I hope happens. Here's Allie Ward's version of the last hour of my favorite James Bond movie. Okay. Okay, so James Bond plays, and he loses the whole thing. And then he realizes that his ego did ruin it, and he has to pay it all back like a student loan over like 20 years. And then he works for his dad's printing shop.

I forgot he was an orphan. And then he reads this book on narcissism, and he reads this book on narcissism. and he's like, oh my God, that's me. And then he online dates and he meets this really nice girl who works in, like, admin for a college. And then the girl with the chunky necklace. Hang on, hang on. I'm going to, let me read this for you.

Just I want your reactions to what I'm reading from you. Okay. It's to start with the girl with the necklily necklace. So, well, let me just take this back for a second. So he has to pay back the 10 million pounds. Yeah. Over 20 years. Yeah.

So it's 500,000 pounds a year. he's paying back. Sure. And he works for his dead father's printing shop? I mean, something low-key. Sure. And he reads a book on narcissism and online dates. Where do you get the book? He just like stumbles across his book about like narcissism and then he starts online

dating? It's one of the jobs that he's printing it. Yeah, and he's like, you know what? I do have that. And then he's like, you know what, but I can get over it and really realize that my behavior affects other people. Real quick, real quick, real quick. Guess he's dated a narcissist before and wants them to change. This does not sound like a great movie. I'm an actor.

I would rather watch this than any of the Transformers movies. This sounds much better. You're not wrong, but you might be wrong this summer when Mark Wahlberg's in the... I think I found a transformer. So, okay. Bobby, get over here. Bring Ma. Yeah, these pieces of junk are going to put you through college. Transformer.

Me and Optimus Prime are going to... gonna open up a hamburger stand. Speaking of which, I work out at the same gym as Shia Leboof. Shy of the beef. King of the beef. That's what his name means. And he was working out in jeans and combat boots. And a paper bag that says,

I am not fit anymore. No paper bag. Just angry, angry pull-ups. Wow. Anyway, back to Allie Ward's Casino Royale. Or dressing down. So then he begins online dating and he meets a nice girl who works in admin for college.

Sure. What college? I don't know, just something scholastic but not too highbrow. So not Oxford. No, no, no, but just a nice college. Like a state school. Like Hampshire. Sure.

Hampshire College. Okay. San Diego State. San Diego State. Now, the girl with the chunk, hang on, the girl with the chunky necklace. This is Vesper? Oh, yeah. Okay.

The chunky necklace, which you describe as being from the Renfair. It looks like it. opens a jewelry shop on Etsy. I thought that redfair joke would have gotten more play here. Interesting. Interesting. You guys are like, no, red fare, those are dorks. Hang on.

We would never be caught dead at the red fair. Well, guys, guess what? She figures out what happens to M here. So she opens up an Etsy shop for her jewelry, and then Judy Dench goes through menopause. Sure. And it almost breaks up her marriage, but she sees a doctor,

and her husband takes her on. on a cruise and they work it out. That's the end. Wow. Is this a movie you'd see? Or is this how Stella got her groove back, right? No, but I was just

trying to wrap everything up in a realistic and emotionally healthy way. But I also, there were times during the poker tournament where like the woman in the blousey jacket would get up for their hour break. And I was like, can the camera follow her and can we watch her eat some chips and do some cool stuff and like have a convo?

about like tulip bulbs and then come back to the poker match, I was like, what's that lady doing? So it's really, it's taken me this long to realize that maybe James Bond isn't for you guys. Well, the whole time I was watching the poker scene, though, I kept thinking that, like, in another universe, but like in the same setting is Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is going on. The police commissioner that was on, like,

on Christina Royale totally reminded me the commissioner on Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and, like, somewhere like Steve Martin is there. That was, that was a Michael, Michael G. Wilson, the executive producer of the James Bond movies. Oh, really? Yeah. We do a game on

the old podcast. There's two games. It's spot Michael G. Wilson. And British off, where we decide who is the most British person in the movie. Oh, I like that one. And I'm trying to think back on this one. Who's the most British person in Casino Royale?

That's a good question. I don't, yeah, I don't remember the movie. You know who it is? It's the accounting guy who talks about the shorting of the stock. He's the most British guy guys. There's also a Dame Judy Dench in it, so I would vote for her. Yeah, but she's not the most British.

She gets out-Britished every scene she's in. Because they bring in these people that you're like, that's a cartoon of a British person. That's not what a real British person talks like. Yeah, some people just say bangers and mash. They have no other lines of dialogue. They just walk in saying bangers and mash. There's a...

What? There's a part of every James Bond movie that I that I like the most. And it's always, it's whenever, it's whenever James Bond shows up at a hotel, you know? Oh, I did like that.

Because I was like, oh, I loved hotels. So you like certain settings in the movie. You like jungle, the hotel. Like, places they go. I was like, oh, vacation. And then I remember, like, there's a gun in the envelope. And you're like, oh, there's so many guns. I just don't like conflict.

You know, there's a thing. The movie always starts with a gun barrel. You're handing me a plate of tomatoes, and I'm just like, I'm sure they're great, but it's the thing, like, I, this is like a very true thing, but I just don't like, come, I don't like conflict, and I just, it bums me out to see people fighting, and I, like, I identify too much with the physical pain that they're in, so I'm like, the entire time, it's just like, let's watch a razor blade on someone's eyeball, and you're like, nope, nope, nope, No, but the entire two and a half hours is that.

There's an old, there's an old saying about James Bond. Yeah, Allie, don't watch it. That's the same. The saying is that every man wants to be him and every woman wants to be with him. I was thinking, like, you know, when he was making out at the resort with the woman who was married to the dude, and, like, when he killed them both, or when they both died, I'm like, that's an entire, like, generation of people, like, dead. There. Hammock murder.

Maybe they don't have kids yet, and they were going to. So you guys are just worried. about what happens to the bad people's families. Yes. A little bit. After James Bond dispenses with them. Constantly. That's all I can think about.

Yeah, there's a life snuffed out. If they had come across a book about risk aversion in a Barnes & Noble and then gone back to school and gotten a law degree, they could be doing great. And even if a guy gets kicked in the face, it's like, well, that's going to hurt. Like, your nose is broken and maybe going to have some, like, a concussion. I mean, I think we've all been, like, in our 20s and we don't really know what we want to do with our lives. And you're like, maybe I should be a henchman for a while. Like, maybe I should just find an evil. guy, put on

a jumpsuit. I'm not kidding. One of the last guys I dated was like, I was like, what we were talking? Like, what would be your dream job? And he's like, probably mercenary. And I was like, what? This is personal. Someone that you dated his dream job was mercenary?

What did I say? What did I say? He got me a sword for my birthday. We are finding out a lot about why you don't like James Bond. and it's this sword guy Hang on Did the sword say Homer on it? Was he like

This is for you But we could keep it at my place I was there when he gave it to her And I was like, I just looking Like she makes really high When she's like I mean I don't think this is like The crowd to sympathize with you

I bet there's a lot of girls in this audience Who are like I would love a sword This is Ranger Sword No Well, you are really playing in the crowd. Who here has not wanted to be a mercenary, like every, you guys. Who hasn't wanted to be?

Maybe everybody dies. I don't know. You don't want to be a mercenary? You have no interest in that? Hang on. Get up on that microphone. We're going to interview you for a second here. Go over there.

For the folks in home, we're now about to interview the one guy in the other. I'm going to tell you now, we will answer, I'll answer any questions you guys might have. I'll answer questions about Chris's bathing habits, whatever you need to know. Sir, what is your name? John? John, it's a good, strong name. Good head of hair on you. Thank you.

I like your beard. Thank you. I'm so far, I'm liking everything about you. John, I think you got a little too much gray on. I'm just going to be the guy who gives you a healthy... You're going to have to give them 50 bucks if you keep going. So watch out. John, you don't want to be a mercenary?

No, I like my job. What is your job? I'm an associate producer. Of? Of digital content. By the way, the room groaned in a way only Southern California can. Oh, of course. Oh, of course.

Associate producer. Oh, they couldn't give you a pay bump, so they gave you a title. Oh, he doesn't get health care, but he's going to produce... Yeah, I've been an associate producer. So you're an associate producer of some online content? That's cool. I enjoy that kind of a thing. I do that from time to time.

I'll dust off my associate producer cap. What? So what have you... What have you recently been working on that you're enjoying so much? Well, I did something with Jessica Chobot a few months back, a player versus gamer. Yes, Player versus Gamer was very good. I know, Chobie.

Thank you. Yeah, good job. That was wreck, because there's like five or ten of us. Uh-huh. Nicely done, sir. So you like that job. You're happy. If I came to you and I said, listen, I got a 401k over here in mercenary land.

Good retiring. You know what we're going to do? We're going to match whatever you put in, buddy. Say we knock up. Let's say we radiate the world's gold, right? But we have a stash. We'll put in whatever you want, 401K-wise. So you get a share of this gold.

We'll match it. Are you going to be a mercenary with me? I can't. You can't do it. You're going to just produce online content as the economy takes a shit. And no one can afford to go online anymore. Meanwhile, I have all the gold.

John. I can't kill anybody. It's just like my... You're not going to kill anybody. You're just going to kill who I tell you to kill. I don't want you out there willy-nilly killing everybody. I have like a couple of people I need you to take out, and your orders are, kill James Bond on site.

That's pretty simple. It's a good job. That sounds hard. You know what else we have, like a cereal bar? So, like, you're going out there. You work at a fun.com layer. You'll sit on a yoga ball. Have you ever seen what happens at Pixar?

That's what happens at my layer. We actually, that's how we get around. We get around on scooters. powered scooters. All the mercenaries are on a kickball team. Oh, it is the best. We have a softball league that we play against other mercenary teams from other bad guys. Like, we're playing Drago, Drax's team next week,

and then Zoran's team the week after it's really going to be a lot of fun. I think you should maybe reconsider joining us. You know what you can do? You can move your family into the compound. John? Sounds like Rex Scorpio. Well, yeah, it's a lot like Hank Scorpio. Yeah.

Don't worry about Hank. He's fine. play him on Thursdays. It's part of the mercenary thing. So, John, I haven't convinced you to join the mercenaries? All right, have a seat, John. John, you're not on board. That's fine. Does anybody else have a question? Yes, sir. You may go

right over to that microphone and talk at us. That's how it works here. I'm really sorry that I said that some of you guys might not be good guys. You're probably all really nice. Yeah, they're all fucking fantastic people. You guys? You know, you go through breakups and people get hurt. It's fine. Allie, tell them all how long ago your breakup was.

Oh, I don't know, because there were so many of them were the same person. Like the regret we're going to hear on the way, and like shame we're going to hear on the way home. There's so many apologies. Well, the beauty of this is that like this is going to be an episode of the podcast that goes out, so everybody's going to hear this. Sir, what is your name? My name is Lloyd, and I'm an associate salesman. Oh. And I am a graduate of a mercenary from Oxford.

Oh, mercenary Oxford. They have a good program there. I'm also very traumatized by Alley, so I feel like to visit. That's nice, though. Couldn't get into mercenary Harvard, but I get it. You do what you can. Yeah, I understand. You gotta have a safety mercenary school. You got to apply to Obama.

I hear San Diego State has a great program. You know what? It's coming along. Last few years, they've been doing some good stuff over there. It's pretty good. What is your questions, sir? Well, one, you look great, Matt. Oh, well, thank you.

It's a great question. Good statement. I appreciate that. I'm also in the process of losing Wade, but you've been so busy, but I remember you from the early episode of Nerdism. of the podcast. And I just wanted to know where you got out of your shell from being the guy from

the genius bar to now writing for at midnight and being on stage and touring with Chris. I mean, how did that how did you get from there to now? Because I would like some advice. Sure. I always, whenever I was working at the Apple Store, I was never,

that was never what I was doing, you know what I mean? So like after work I would go, I would write. I would go do podcasts, I would go do open mics because I never wanted to be. a genius. I think we all can agree. They're horrible, horrible people. Lots of bad piercing choices. If there are some geniuses in the room, you know you're a horrible person. I was one of you. You've got a screamo band. We know it. We know you've got a screamo band, and it's terrible.

And I never sort of stopped. I always knew what I wanted to do. I left Massachusetts to come out and do comedy, and I was like, that's what I'm going to do. And I did, I took the job at the Apple Store as sort of a safety net. I was like, this is it. They get insurance. It's not mercenaryville. There's not quite the 401K, but there's some stock options. So I went over there. And as soon as I could go part-time, I went part-time. I didn't want to be there full-time.

And I just figured out, listen, I can make this much money. Live, I'll live. If it's uncomfortable, it's a little uncomfortable, and I'll just keep doing what I want to be doing. And I just kept my head down and just worked. And that's really, that's the best advice I've ever given or have gotten, is if you want to be doing something, do it. No one's going to stop you from doing it.

They just might not pay you for doing it for a while. But do it. That's very interesting. That's it. Thank you for asking it. It was a lovely question, sir. Hello, sir. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? Has Cobra Kai seen you with that? I ran away into here. I understand. I actually have a weird six degrees of separation to the podcast. I went to high school with Corley's girlfriend. Oh, did you really?

Really good friends, yeah. She's great. She is. Anyway, crap, what was my question? Oh, I'm sorry. He just wanted to share that thrilling anecdote. Wow, really? I think it's interesting.

Do you have a podcast, too? Jordan, calm down. This is not Max FunCon. $50 each person. When don't we get more Fibb? More Fibb? Good question. Moser and I were going to do it this week,

and then he was like, I got to go to, I would do my best Mosier impression. I'm going to go to New Mexico I'm going to go to George R. Martin's theater. He wants to see my documentary, so I'll be gone for three days. We're supposed to do it. I think we're recording on Sunday.

So look for it next week. We're going to do a seat. Yeah, Canadian sniper. Hello, sir. What is your name? Hi, I'm Mark. How are you? Good haircut, Mark. I'm a for sure student at San Diego State, so I appreciate the shout-h-h-h. Go beer bongs. Nice.

Hey, Mario, let me ask you. Are you the fighting beer bongs, right? Does San Diego State have a mascot or... The Aztecs, yeah. The Aztecs? Yeah. An entire race of people? It's problematic at best, yeah.

What is going on in San Diego? A lot of drinking, a lot of smoking. Yeah. You do realize the Aztex as a culture is just gone. Not a great mascot. Well, we're trying to keep them alive this year. All right. Well, good for you.

How are you? What's your question? My question is, just, what is your first? favorite James Bond knockoff? Oh, actually, I'm a big fan of In Like Flint. I think In Like Flint's a great. It's great. But, you know, going back and watching, like, very recently, it was on one of the showtimes.

I was watching Austin Powers the third one. And I was like, you know what? That movie makes me laugh. It's dumb, but it makes me laugh. And that's really all I want from anything. And it's funny, too, when you show people who haven't seen James Bond movies like, when you show them, you only live twice, and they go, holy shit, that guy's dressed just like Dr. Evil.

Yeah, I didn't, I didn't know any of that. And then you have to say to them, no. Dr. Evil's dressed just like Blofeld. I didn't get that. You didn't get any of that. I don't worry about it. I loved Austin Powers, and then I'm like, oh, it's like a thing. And then I'm referring to another thing.

Okay, got it. Do you guys any other? Are you, do you have a boy, I mean, triple X state of the union, of course. Well, that's not bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I think I'm going to go triple X. Yeah, sure.

You know what else is good? Spy hard. Spy hard's actually pretty great. Leslie Nielsen. It's a good theme song from Weird Al. Yep, Weird Al do the theme song. But yeah, that's my answer for you. Thank you for being here.

Appreciate it. Hello, sir. How are you? Oh, I'm fine, thank you. What is your name? My name's Nathan. I'm a third year in UC Irvine, not as prestigious as San Diego State. You see Irvine's okay.

I dated a girl from there once. Yeah, I know. It wasn't great. All your dorms are, uh, named after places in Middle Earth, right? There's one section called Middle Earth, and there are several sections named, several, like, buildings name after that.

Is the other section Narnia? No, something else. Something else, not as a, you know. Okay, I understand. What's your question? First of all, one antidote, you know, I was, like, so excited for this podcast family. I was, like, I was, like,

hoping that this would be Friday because I'm going to be the only day here. Nice. And second of all, like, I was one of those guys who said, you know, Dr. Evil is stressing. What's just like Dr. People? What the... Okay, so my question is, like, for Matt and Jordan.

What do you think... I'm sure that you covered this in paper, but I have forgotten, but... What is your opinion on Timothy Dalton? Because Timothy Dalton's my favorite James Bond of all time, so... Timothy Dalton is your favorite James Bond of all time? Yeah! Come on! He's very darned! Come on! I don't even think Timothy Dalton enjoys Timothy Dalton and James Bond. I'm pretty sure he looks himself in the mirror and goes,

what the fuck were you thinking? Living Day, that's a soul. We haven't even gotten the license to kill yet, but I watched it, and I took notes. That movie is so bad. That movie's awful. First of all, Nathan, I'm going to hang on for a second, Jordan. I got to talk some sense into my buddy Nathan here.

He's balding in the first movie. Okay? Now, Connery, they fixed it. They put a rug on him. No problem. Great. He looks great in a rug. Timothy Dalton doesn't take the advice and get a rug,

so I'm already upset with him. Secondly, the movie, here's where the movie lost me completely. It's a reaction to every movie in the 80s. So what they did was they were like, oh, this roadhouse thing's pretty popular.

That's doing okay. Does Bond just break a lot of pool cues on people? Yes, he does. There's a roadhouse bar fight. Then you're like, oh, well, you know what else is pretty big right now? How about these ninja movies? Let's arbitrarily for no reason

throw a ninja in the movie. And then he shows up dressed like he's a background character and street fighter. Like he's not even like, he's wearing a blue ninja outfit. Blue! Like it's powdered blue Terry cloth.

Why haven't you had us watch this, Matt? This sounds amazing. I want to watch this one. You guys might love it. I think I would love it. You guys might love it. There's a drug lord. They're like Scarface was huge.

Let's do a movie about Coke. Oh, dear. One note, Living Daylights is my favorite James Bond. Living Daylights is not a terrible movie. Yeah. Except for the fact that he spends the last half of it helping Al Qaeda. But it was the point. That was the story.

Yeah, he didn't know at the time. But I think he did. But Nathan, how do you feel about Timothy Dalton? Yeah, similar feelings from you, than you. I feel the same way as you do, Matt. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you saying Timothy Dalton is the best James Bond is like that buddy of yours who's like, you know, that Johnny Depp Blown Ranger movie is pretty good.

people shit on it but it was pretty good I don't know are you just being contrary to be contrary no that's what I really think but the only reason why is because I really enjoy I really like living day it's like my gold finger essentially so okay I respect that I mean I think that's my favorite name check in any of the movies that's like when he says it must have scared like something else you know I can give you I give you license to kill but do not give me on living daylights Listen, I actually, I like living daylights quite a bit, so you're okay, Nathan. Don't worry. You'll get through it.

You'll have a good sleep tonight. And I think James Bond is one of those things. It's like the first bond you see is your bond and you kind of compare all the other ones. And whatever the first one is, you kind of get an emotional attachment to. So I think it's easy for us to poo-poo someone else's bond. That was Golden Eye, by the way, for me. Yeah, that was Golden Eye for you? That was your first one you saw?

Yeah. Not bad. Martin Campbell. That's good job. Thank you, Nick Jensen. Kills men with her thighs. She sure does. Thank you.

Sir, you have a question. What is your name? My name is Sean, and to keep with the collegiate theme, I'm a graduate of the Westwood Institute of Technology. This is fantastic. This is like the opposite of what you see during a football game. The Ohio State University. We're all like, San Diego State Mercenary School,

Comic-Con. Anyway, go ahead. What is your question? And basically, before I say what I came up here to say, I just realized that I'm essentially the portrait of Dorian Gray of you, Mr. Matt Myra, because the longer you've been on nerdist, you've lost weight. I've gained weight and a beard. You're going to put on about 30 more pounds.

No, I'm looking forward to it. No, yeah, yeah, I just want you to know that. I'm not done. I just want to say, though. So if I pinched Matt, would you feel it? I don't know. Is that how it works? Is that how the painting works?

I don't think the painting ever goes out. I just want to say... I don't understand paintings. I, for one, when I listened to the original Goldfinger episode, I really enjoyed your guys' reactions to it. Thank you. I really did. Half the audience.

You know, that's the separation of real fandom of this. Like, you also have to take it with a grain of salt, and, like, just because you like it doesn't mean everyone's going to like it. And it's interesting to get it. a different person's point of view on it. A different person in one with a bunch of time. That is so delightfully sensible. What a guy.

And that's also why I don't post things on the internet or in comment sections. Sir, if you came up to me and said, do I post things on the internet? I would have just looked at you and said, yes, you're posting on the internet. I have a face that. Thank you for teaching me not to judge a book by my cover.

And I just want to ask, are we going to get any more 1990 high fives. 1990 high fives. That has to be my I listen to every single episode of Thilling Adventure Hour, every single nerdist podcast, every indoor kids, every James Bonding. That is my single favorite anything. That was actually, there are two podcasts I've walked out of and gone.

That was so much fucking fun. One was the Will Arnett episode of The Nerdist. And the other one, thank you guys. And the other one was that episode that we did with Gourley and Craig Rowan and that I thank you for liking that that was like we just did that for us and I'm glad you guys liked it that and the that and the Matt and Jonah after show Matt and Jonah after show is a lot of fun too yeah yeah as soon as as soon as the Craig is back in town we will put out another 1990 high five thank God thank you bless you all thank you sir we have we have to keep this going quickly so guys fast questions are great because I have to get to the gentleman I gave $50 to eventually

your question sir I just wanted to go to Allie and ask what do you think was the what was going through the mind of Le Schiff's girlfriend during the whole your portion in the movie and everything What do you think? Who was she?

She was the long Was the eye bleeding gentleman? Oh yeah yeah yeah What was oh you mean and then there was a piano wire and they're like oh we're going to get her tricked her. That was weird

Right? Yeah I cut her arm off or don't But don't trick her into it She's like, oh, silly me, I was scared. They didn't do it. What Georgia said. Silly me, I was scared. I think maybe betrayal.

Betrayal, okay. I would say she was probably like, I should have just gone out with the guy that my mom wanted to set me up with, who was a neighbor's friend. She's like, why did I date this guy? She's probably, you know, wrong lady, wrong time. I have been given the one more question sign.

I know, I know. Who gets it? Guys, this is my kind of crowd. All right. Thank you guys. I'll talk to you guys afterwards. Delightful. Sir, go. By the way, thank you for the $50.

I'd just like to say that. You're very welcome. And now I'm going to be a dick and explain to you why a ninja would be wearing blue. Okay, go. Please. Tell me why ninjas are wearing blue. Ninjas wouldn't wear black because if it was a completely black outline on the moon, then it would completely give it away. So, you know, I'd just like to say that.

Thank you for that information. That is excellent information. you are raising your child correctly, sir. Now the moderator held up one more question. How many more ninja facts can we do? You're great. Seriously, use that $50 to buy something. Are you here for the rest of the weekend, you guys?

Or are you coming back? Are you just going to buy something at like some other store? Oh, yeah. So you got to pace yourself, buddy. You can't kill it on the first day of a con. These are the lessons you're going to learn in life. First day of a con, you just have a con. sort of go in, walk the floor once, get out.

You just go in, walk it once, get out. Don't just breathe through your mouth, breathe through your mouth. That's the key. Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, breathe through your mouth, sweat, sweat, rock star energy, sugar-free, sugar-free rock star, do it. And then you're ready. Personal pizza, personal pizza.

Personal pan pizza. Can I say one thing, though? We didn't really get to the arc of it, but I will say that I enjoy this one much more than Goldfinger, and I do appreciate how the franchise does. empower women more throughout the year. So I will say that. I will go on record and say they're doing a better job, and I commend them for being less misogynistic.

Georgia, say, diddo. Yep. Well done, Georgia. So I just wanted to say, let me thank Allie Ward and Georgia Hardstar. Thank you. My name is pronounced Myra. Kumail just decided to write Mira on this to annoy me. Thank you also to Jordan Morris.

Thank you all very much for sitting through the first live, James Bonding, without my co-host. You've been fantastic, and we'll see you around the con floor. Now Leavingnerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lore.

If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sound like a fancy college professor. Fake nuts. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species.

It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed. But Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it cross out again. Yes. I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middle Ditch. Jesus, I mean,

Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three of a Loaf from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.