James Bonding - Live and Let Die with Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Paul F. Tompkins returns to James Bonding to discuss Live And Let Die! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. Uh-huh. Hold on. That's true. I know I did. Sometimes it does. Yeah. See, living lit die.

Good advice. Welcome back to the James Bonding podcast. Your semi-regular dose of James Bond News. We're doing what we can. and we're back. We're back with energy style panache. We're reborn from the ashes. With the Roger Moore years,

we've got Paul F. Tompkins in here today. Hello, I'm me. Welcome back to the program, Paul. Thank you for having you back. I'm very excited. Paul, of course, joined us for the inaugural episode, Doctor Now. Of course I did. And I feel like this is the inaugural of the Roger Moore movies.

I don't even feel like that. It's true. Yeah. And welcome, welcome. And this is a favorite of yours, right, Paul? Yes, it is. It's a favorite of mine is. I think this is the first James Bond movie I ever saw.

We are now in the year of my birth with this. It's 1973. What does it matter to you? This is the part that Linda Eastman wrote. You're not even giving her the McCartney name. You're just calling her Linda Eastman. Oh, we can't. Linda Eastman Kodak.

She didn't just have a mullet. She had a special kind of mullet. remember? Yeah, of course. Like Scottish warrior kind of mullet or something. It was before mullets were a thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Like David Bowie and Linda Eastman Kodak had a mullet that. It was a golden age of androgynous househouse. And she didn't have, she had really light eyebrows and David Bowie would shave his. And so just things, you didn't know where you were. Business in the front, key party in the back, because it was a 70s. Oh, yeah. Wow. Well, guys, it's good to be back.

I'm excited to be in the Roger Moore times. You are genuinely excited because I would say, I would describe your enthusiasm for the Pierce Broson movies as a lack thereof. Yeah, enthusiasm, you can't even use that. It really took a lot out of you, I could tell. It did. I also watched the Thomas Crown Affair recently. TCA? The one?

Yeah. Yeah, TCA reboot. Not the Steve McQueen, not the Steve McQueen, Thomas Crown Affair. It didn't hold up for me as much as I remember. I really remember liking it. You remember liking that too. Yeah, and I don't know why. You've probably seen it more recently than all of us.

Well, obviously you have. Yeah, just what about it? Did you find not holding up? Yeah. I'm going to hold your feet of the fire on this one. Gosh. Let me just press pause on this. What your fake language.

Was it Dennis Leary again? No, was he never? Yes, he is. He's completely black. He's locked that out. Wow. Wow. Good question.

It hasn't, who did the score to it has a really, odd but interesting like jazz or something it's not always Danny Alphabet I don't know I haven't I honestly I haven't come prepared to defend this I'm not asking you to defend it we're just asking you're just real defensive about

the Brosnan era it's where we got through a hard time of movie making she's not describing his career now any movie no just our era of the podcast it was a tough time for us all for me watching them and for the for the listeners dealing with me

watching them. Sure. And then me dealing with their vitriol on Twitter. Yeah, they weren't happy with your opinions.

Well, some of them were. May I say this? As a guest? No, please. Speak as an objective. Those people can go fuck themselves. Are you listening? Are you listening?

Here's what I would say. If you have any complaints, see the podcast Burser for a full refund. It will come out of our paychecks. Yeah. Fuck you. Hey, Paul.

Yeah, hi. That was great. Can we just pull that and have that whatever? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, everyone, can we have some perspective? Let's just keep some perspective on things. The best part is that you're dressed in like a track suit, and I feel like you're just this English Rooligan thug. I'm under the weather. We're in the midst of moving.

I love it. I feel like you're an enforcer out to protect us. I have to get a suit made out of sweatpants material. That sounds comfortable. So I can look like me all the time. You should, but with those little stripes down the sides. I know, I could not look less like myself. Oh, that's great.

I'm not wearing my Paul F. Tompkins costume. No, that's great. You've got an Irish hat, right? Is that Ireland? No, this is the flag of the city of Philadelphia. Oh, geez, it's green and... It's very green. Yeah.

And then you got the Celtic cross? I do have a Celtic cross. That's a little bit more Irish. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then the, what do you call that, that wedding ring? It has a name, right? the Irish wedding ring.

That's true. The clada. That's it. Clata ring, yes. Clada. And for those wondering, I want a full picture of it, it's a jacket by Adidas. Yes, here's what I did is I took a patch and I put it over the Adidas. Oh, really?

Oh, nicely done. Oh. I'm wearing, I'm wearing the Adidas gazelle, which is the Daniel Craig workout shoe of choice. No, I know. In Skyfall. Everyone knows that. What was your Adidas versus Puma thing? Oh.

Oh, that's right. Because Adidas, when we were kids, stood for all day. I dream about sex. Yes, of course. Oh, shit. I can't remember what Puma was. We came up with the... With the acronym.

Oh, please understand my something. Oh, God damn. Why? I'm sorry. It's going to haunt me. I bet Mark would remember. We'll text them. Yeah, we'll text them.

Mark McConval. And Fila was finally a left Adidas, correct? That is the... Oh, because they split? Yeah. Oh. Oh, they were brothers, right? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's so sad. And Nike was, no, I know a lot. That's not. Bad grammar. Elat. Elat. Alat. They were from New Zealand.

Matt, quick check-in. How are you? I haven't seen you in a while. Yeah, it's been a bit. We've been real busy. Yeah, we've been very busy. I've finally gotten over the cold. Yeah.

So there will be no coughing on this episode. Okay. Unless it's from me. Fair enough. You're starting? You're just starting it. No, I've been on the last day of a cold for a good five days. Well, three weeks.

I was three weeks out with this thing. Too long. Did you miss any more? That's a fortnight plus half a fortnight. I missed, uh... His math checks out. I missed one and a half days of work. Oh, man.

Because they sent me home on a Thursday. Oh, wow. Who sent you home? Sent me home. Because it's like, you know, you don't want to get the entire writing stuff. Did they say you home? But they didn't want you to. Were you telegraphing it a little like wearing fingerless gloves?

No. May I put more coal in the stone? I'm going to bring this barrens. in here. Now, don't worry, what's going to happen next is I'm going to light a fire. It's going to be very safe. Do do, do, do, do, take you back. I always, whatever I think of the homeless man over the barrel, I just think of the beginning of the Randy Newman video for I Love L.A. Oh, sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

As one would. Ironic song. Well, listen. We got more. We're back. We're ready. Roger Moore's here. We're excited. How about a QCI with Matt Goreley? Oh, yeah, sure. How are you doing? I'm doing pretty well.

I've been fighting a real battle with my universal remote control at home. I heard about this little bit last night. To the point where my girlfriend, we were driving last night and said, hey, honey, I don't, no offense, but I think you're a little obsessed over this. And it's true. What? This is in the car? Yeah.

This is, so this is not while it was happening. It was like, I need to set a time to talk to you. It's impacting your lives so much. Yes. But listen to me. What's going on? Well, we all have our thoughts. things, right?

Yeah, sure. So we got this new TV, and then our old receiver wasn't really working very well with it. We couldn't get proper home theater sound. And I think the listeners will agree if you're going to watch a James Bond movie, you want it in the best quality home theater experience. Yeah, absolutely. So I went and got a new receiver, which I didn't intend to do. And then there's six remotes, and all of them will do one thing for another thing, but none of them will do all for one. It's like it's pure capitalism with these remotes.

It's almost like you need a remote for the remote. I'm getting to that. I'll see you guys later. Get back in here. Tompkins, ladies and gentlemen. He's really leaving. He retired from show business that day. Anyway, I bought that island.

Long story, exciting, and just as long as it needs to be. Yeah. I got a smart app remote control. Hang on. No. Try to stop me right now. I'm going to kick up. So what you're saying is now

your telephone and your iPad. It comes with a remote, but you can also on your telephone and your iPad, just like Jonathan Price and Schmo never dies. You should have spoken to me. Why?

Because I have a device that I don't use anymore. What? That is, that is the Harmony Smart? Oh, for fuck sake. You should have, I wish I had known about your problem. I can take it back.

Take it back. I have the smart touch, you know, the hub that then turns your everything Why don't you use it? Because I then got, got the remote. Wow, this is like

the magi for items to a shit. Welcome to the remote talk. Oh, anyway, our wireless is for shit and otherwise. Victory is in my sights. Okay. I just want to come over and program it for you. Please. It's, look, I'm being objective. It's

not that I'm inept. It's that the equipment I'm working with. You're working with the Pierce Brosson of equipment. Yes. And give me some classic wood grain from Micah, Roger Moore-era. Yeah. Oh, stereo equipment with steel fronts, you know what I'm saying? Neurled steel knobs and just a toggle switch.

I feel like it'd be copper, judging by his kitchen decor. Whatever. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Live and Let Die, 1973, Guy Hamilton directs. This is an all-star James Bond situation. You got Guy Hamilton directing. You got Peter Lamont doing some co-designing on this thing. Is he co-designed?

Yeah, I believe he's a co-production design. Really? I don't remember who the other production. designer is, but Mankowitz on the script again. Sure, sure. Three editors for this movie, which I found interesting. Yeah. Apparently, it took a lot to cut down those alligators.

Yeah. Rocketiles, sorry. Both. It was both. Yeah. It was true. Yeah. Round mouth. Round nose. But yeah, George Martin, doing the music score. You know, George Martin, of course, for those listening, of the Beatles production fame. One of many fifth Beatles. Yes, one of many

Fat Beatles. There's a lot of Fifth Beatles. Murray the K. Uh-huh. Fanny flag. Linda Eastman Kodak Oh Patty Boyd Harrison Beodor Roosevelt Sord of God

Done and done Redirect Passus Bagger Vance So this is Legendary Bagger Vance Oh

So let's Let's set the stage Let's set the stage For where we are With the James Bond series Let me say this Yes If your ideal James Bond movie features countless black men narrating Roger Moore's movements into CB radio.

This is the movie for you. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And it turns out that's what I wanted. Yeah, you didn't even know. No, I didn't know that. Until you saw it. Oh, my goodness.

I can't explain why this has always been one of my favorites. In fact, for a long time, this was my favorite. It's a really fun movie. It is. It's a really fun movie. There's certain things that don't hold up for a river. Sure. But, I mean, given its time, it's surprising how much of it does hold up.

There's great sequences in this movie. It's a lot of fun. And they put a lot of, it's putting him in a strange place that he's never been before. That place is called Harlem. Yeah. New Orleans, Harlem, Jamaica. Yeah, it really, it just doesn't feel like a Bond movie in some ways, but in a good way. The New Orleans set piece, very interesting how that came about.

I rewatched the inside Living Let Die. And it's just Guy Hamilton talking about how much he enjoys jazz. Yeah. And then someone said, you should check out New Orleans. Yeah. And then they're like, well, what can we do there? We can't do Mardi Gras. Like, well, check out these jazz funerals.

And he's like, okay, but we can't do four minutes there. They're not going to send everybody. Well, you've got to figure something else out. What else do they have? That's right. They have levies. Oh, a boat chase. Isn't that also how Pudder Smith became?

Still, a minute. This guy sounds like he has an incredible vision. I like jazz. You got to check out New Orleans. Why? What's there? Do they have jazz there? DeWord didn't get out.

The guy Hamilton, New Orleans is kind of a jazz town. What's interesting about New Orleans? Just go ahead. Dazzle me. Of all the directors in those inside commentary, he's my least favorite. Really? Yeah, just because the way he sits like this and he's got a real attitude. His jowls.

Yeah, I mean, they, well, but you can't rival Peter Hunt, though, those jowls. That's just neck. That's not gowls. You can't consider them in the jowl category. They do not cross over. Let's go to the chart. All right. Yeah, so this is right after Diamonds are Forever.

Yes. Which was that that made a shit ton of money. Yeah. So I said, Guy, come on back. Sean's not coming back, but you can come back. And then they worked on live and let die, which was actually Tom Engowitz's his choice. They said, here you go, pick one. Probably because black exploitation films were hot.

That's what he was into. Yeah. He wanted a bunch of black people in the movie, which I was all for. Because it was, you know, of the time, that was sort of what was happening in cinema. So they said, let's do it. But then they were like, oh, but we have to make them all villains. And then they're like, well, listen, everybody who's not James Bond is a villain. We'll give one CIA part to a black guy.

Strutter. Strutter was great. Yeah. I like strutter a lot. I always like the guy that. I forgot he got killed. Yeah. I always like the guy that helps James.

Bond. Yeah. You know? Do you know who I don't like in this movie is that particular Felix Leiter who's in a couple, right? His favorite, right? He's my favorite. Really? Yeah, well, next to Jeffrey, right.

I find him, I don't know if he's still alive. He is. Oh, I see him. Well, then I'm not going to say. Well, he came to the Alex theater. I don't need the Twitter snitches. Twitter snitches. I doubt he's on Twitter.

He came to the Alex Theater here in Glendale. We, I think I saw on him. Oh, License to Kill. Let's back this up for a second. We're not here in Glendale. We're in Luson. I want people thinking I'm in Glendale. Oh, Matt Myra.

Matt Myra. I'll have you know Glendale's upcoming. They have a five-star cinema there where you can sleep. Oh, you're obsessed with it. You are. You are. So great. All I want to do is pay to take naps.

Where can I do it? I want to pay exorbitant fees to take naps and have cocktails brought to me that I want to because I'll be sleeping. Congratulations, you are a true white adult male. He came to the Alex theater and he spoke. Anyway, he's taller than you think. Good to know. What other insight do you have for us, Matt?

Well, that's it. He played two Felix Liders and then he got chomped up. Oh, and he'll be back to back. Yeah, we're going to see him. Ooh, because the way we go. Next, he's licensed to kill where he's, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right.

You don't like this guy. No, I find him uncharismatic. Who's your favorite Felix Lider, Paul? I might not have one. What? I think when I was a kid. Get out! I think I liked Jack Lord probably.

Yeah, Jack Lord. I think Jack Lord's great. He's super charismatic and Jack Lordy. But I think I had affection for him because of Hawaii 5-0, because I recognize him from another thing. You know who's closest to Felix in the book is the guy from Thunderball, the blonde-haired. Oh, okay. Oh, maybe I liked that guy the best. He reminds me of just like some kind of yacht-rocking dude.

Yeah, yeah. Lives on a boat, Hawaiian shirt. I don't love the gold finger, Felix Lider. Kecklinder. Yeah, older gentleman. This is an older, older little guy. Keck. Doesn't that sound like a name Jeremy would be?

What about Jeffrey Wright? I like Jeffrey Wright. Quite possibly the most underrated and under-exposed actor of his caliber and generation. He never speaks the same way twice. A terrific in Borewick Empire. He's great in Bordwell. He's great in Bordowocampeter. He's great to Nassiz.

Yeah, I think he's great in, I get a lot of Flackfuss. I think he's great in Shaft, the remake. Oh, I haven't seen him. I saw that at the time. I saw that at the time. Peoples Hernandez. People's Hernandez. Oh, Peebles Hernandez.

Mario Van Peeples Hernandez. Mario Van Peeples Hernandez. Oh, they really get the youth motivated. That's right. Trevor, what's his name? Terrence Howard? Where are you going to? Taylor.

Swift? No. My dad loves the movies Taylor Momson Nope Tyler Perry What my dad loves the movies Your dad loves Tyler Perry

Yes I went to Utah He lives in Utah And I went and saw him He must have the only copy of these movies Matt You have to see Tyler Perry's

Medea's family reunion You have to see this You have to see this You have to see this Put it on You put it on It was shot in 48 hours 48 hours another one

It was shot in the background Well that's a good one Absolutely Yeah All right James Bond Live and Let Die Cold Opening without James Bond

Is this one of the only ones Dr. No? Yeah Dr. No has it And Anytime there's people of color involved Yeah We can't have James Bond

In the cold open No not at all It's in his contract Now Roger Moore Was previously approached To Dubond but he was wrapped up in the saint, is that right? Yeah, I also really, really enjoy Roger Moore telling the story of how he knew Cubby.

He's just like, we loved gambling. Yeah. So we would always be gambling across from each other. Now, Cubby originally didn't want Roger Moore. Why is that? I don't know, but then they became fast friends and were always to be. Well, I think we're... Dear old, Cubby, we'd see each other across the gambling table.

we're on record with this podcast as being we're Roger Moore fans yeah big fans of Roger Moore so that I believe he's our favorite well I think Daniel Craig's my favorite you can't have the current guy be your favorite why because you need a little distance no I'm saying I understand that thinking and that with that understanding he's still my favorite I know that this isn't just a timeless fresh face pick for me I'm in whoever's next is going to be your favorite no because no because uh Brosnan was not my favorite during the

Brosnan. You had some own, your own issues during that time period. But you know what? It's almost like it gets into a Doctor Who thing of like there are distinct eras of this. And the Daniel Craig ones are definitely a reboot of the franchise. Yeah. And so he's

I think you can say he's your favorite, but knowing that there's going to be somebody after him and this thing is going to keep going and you're going to, as it progresses, you're definitely going to divide it into these two eras. So Roger Moore is your favorite of the original.

Yeah, and I'm prepared to not like the next one. You're already ready? You're already on board the not liking a train. But Roger Moore, I don't understand how people don't like him. I guess it's the older generation coming off the heels of the Conneries and it just feels too silly to them. But he's so likable to me.

Yeah, he really is. And somehow smart me. He can do both. I don't know how he does it. He's also, I would argue, well, I mean, he's the only Well, him and Craig are the only British James Bond's, correct? Yeah. Timothy Dalton's Welsh, Tonnery, Scottish, Brazen's Irish. That's right. But he's not much to say he's the most British.

But he's the most British. Oh, and Lazy was what, Australian or something? Yeah. Yeah. But he's the most British and thusly he'll always win the British off. That's true. This one didn't have a British off. There was no scene between a bunch of old British people.

No. And it kind of bummed me out. There's one scene with him in, and M, right? Yeah, in his house. That was strange, too. Well, let's, okay, so let's talk about the cold open. I love this cold open.

So do I. I thought, I forgot all about it. And when I saw it, it was like, oh, that's right. And I remember as, I remember as a kid thinking this was like this crazy exotic world, you know, and it's, it's really clever and really, it's really fun. Yeah, it hooks you with a good mystery. Yeah. Because you want to know what the hell's happening. Yeah.

And the New Orleans stuff, that funeral thing, listen, I get it. I get that it probably isn't really possible to drop a casket on someone and pick them up. The stopping of the camera really bothers me. It's a gadget. Oh, I don't think it is a stop camera. You don't think it, I do. I think the guy holds on, a stuntman. He's like a guy that holds on to a bar in there.

I looked for a clip and there was no clip. No. I refuse to believe. You're saying they lower the casket over the corpse, and then there's a cut? It looks to me as though there's a cut. I didn't say cut. Yeah, I think it's a guy that holds on.

In fact, why do I feel like I remember reading about that or something? Because you probably did read about that. In my dreams. Why do I remember reading about that? Oh, yeah, it was yesterday when I read about that. What was I going to say? Oh, the United Nations opening. Yeah.

Oh, God, I love it. There's ear dynamite. There's a TNT detonator. for a sound and the guy acting when he taps on his headphones I love that guy I love but also something I noticed

is you cannot... He almost wins the British off of your absolutely correct without even a line of dialogue without saying a word but something I did notice is that you know whenever you put an ethnic

looking person in front of a country sign it just feels racist to me what are you talking about? Uruguay. They're always going to be wearing, like, the craziest garb. Yeah. There's no good way to do that. But that is, I just... Chicken under his arm. I do love the idea of there being some sort of detonator.

Like, what is that doing? Do you have to power up the sound? Like, I don't understand what that is. You're literally like... Charge, that's what you're doing. You're generating, you're spinning a coil. Yeah. That's charging electric.

So, like, are you powering up the sound? But it would make sense if the guy got electrocuted, but he didn't. He just got killed by a frequency. Yeah. Well, it's like the brown note, but opposite. Yeah. So, yeah, so we get to see the United Nations, and then we cut to New Orleans where another gentleman is killed on the street. Yeah, I love that.

I love the little guy that kills him. Now, does that, that's Bourbon Street, correct? I've never been to New Orleans. Well, maybe you can tell me, but is that the same street corner that they're standing on in JFK? Oh, I don't know. Like right across from the office. All right. Was that on Bourbon Street?

I believe that his office was, yeah. Then the, yeah. Let's talk about the snake. The ridiculous snake death. Oh. This is, is it better or worse than the tarantula from Dr. No? What's weird is that there is a couple of shots with that same snake, the real snake. Yeah.

And I'm surprised how fake the real snake. The coloring of the actual snake. It's insane. It does. It looks like a child was told to paint what they think a snake looks like. Also, it's really taking its time to snake. Like James Bond leaves the room and the snake's just like, I'm going to stay at this pace. Did I? I hope he comes back in here.

Oh, you're talking about the bathroom? Yeah. Oh, we're talking about the cold opening, the green and yellow snake. The green yellow snake that scares the man to death. That's, I forgot about that. Here's what I love. That guy that's tied to the steak looks more just uncomfortable. anything.

Baines. I rather liked Baines. But do you remember now seeing something also about that gentleman that he actually passed out for fear of the snake? Yes. He actually passed out in real lifetimes? Yes. And that blood they put on him is just like the wateriest Kool-Aid when he gets bit. Well, they go to, there's two ways in James Bond movies they go with blood.

Ridiculous red paint or not quite enough. There's no happy media. Yeah, really mixed the two for Christ. forgot about that guy. So we go right from Baines dying to seeing, what is the, what is that, what is, what is his name? It's not Teehe. It's the other guy. Oh, Barren Semino.

Yes. Yes. Yes. The Jeffrey Holder. Yes. Seven up. Seven up. Colanuts.

That, by the way, I remember the, the, him terrifying me as a child. Oh, absolutely. Like, fucking terrified. He's so great. One of my favorite characters in cinema. He's fantastic. Now, he's also, he was a big Broadway dancer and choreographer. In fact, he choreographed all of the dance in this whole movie.

He's credited as the choreographer. Nice. And he... Double dipping on that check. Yeah, what it was. I don't remember what I was going to say. Okay. That's all right.

That's good. You know what? You're dynamite to both you. We should play that sound. We should have any of those set up here at any time when you don't like what someone's saying. You'd just eat Your Dimeon. That'd be a fun prop

To own, right? Yeah, absolutely. Let's look into that. Someone find out, if Dave Mandel bought it. It was an analog era. It was. It was indeed.

Everything had to be steampunk. I'd also like to own the genuine Felix Lider. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A genuine Felix Lider. It's so good. All right, so we come in.

I like life. He does. It's the little things. He's got so much. Joy for life that man. And he lives in, doesn't he live in Monte Carlo? Probably. Probably.

Why wouldn't he? Yeah. Like to escape taxes, I think? Everyone, I feel like any, any British celebrity doesn't live in England. Well, it is a ridiculous tax rate. Anyway, we'll talk about this on another podcast. Ridiculous. The Labor Party.

It's a party about the... Sure. Treasury bonding. Well, let's talk about now the, let's talk about the theme song, which we have discussed many times already. Yeah. Live and Let Die. But even the fade into the titles is wonderful. Yes.

Just kind of, hey. Hello. Is that you? I don't know. Who knows? Guys, mine's in my pocket. Wasn't me. Wasn't me?

Check, check, check. All right, this song. Wasn't me. So have I told this story where George Martin brought the demo that McCarton, he got McCartney to do this song? He brought the demo into Harry Saltzman. And Saltzman goes, I like it. Now who's going to do it? And George Martin goes,

You have Paul McCartney. Well, who else can we get? And he's kind of like... Who else can we get? They're not going to... He's not going to do it unless he can do it. How about Bert Convy? I think he was thinking, like, get some chanteuse or something, which also brings me

to that scene in the New Orleans club where that woman's... I love that person. Me too. There's your screw-off guns and roses. Give me that lady's version. The way she's, like, just, like, wrapping her hands around and singing. into the yeah it's a very deep

it is a it is a it is a great bond theme it's a great song it's it really it's very exciting it's got that I love that crazy bridge you know I love I love this song

yeah I really love this song yeah and I haven't seen it it's been a while since I've seen the movie so to see it in the context of the titles and everything is it's perfect song is so good it's so good it's Paul McCartney

like three years off of the Beatles or two years off In the best era of the wings, which is a band that I love probably as much as the Beatles, if not, maybe. Five years, because they split up in 69. 69. 70, right? They split up in 70. George Harrison was only 25.

When they split up? Yeah. No. Yes. He had done all of that by the time he was 25. Why did he live so long? What? Why didn't he live so long?

What do you mean? He had a life. He had a life. He did. He did die prematurely, sadly. He was my face. Favorite Beetle. He was everybody's,

that's the right answer. I'm saying he overstayed his well. On pot. Look, I know that's not popular. You got whispering at the end of that. Like, should I be saying? He overstated his own.

Yeah, George is the answer. When everyone asks you, yeah, those are you listening at home. Someone asks you with your favorite beetle is. Say George. It's George. But yeah, it's, it's amazing. The song is amazing.

And to see it with the sort of, the sort of black exploitation titles that they have in this. Different than Bond movies and, you know. It's a little scary. Yeah. When I was, I watched it alone and I was, I don't know. When I was a, when I was. You were scared of that universal remote.

What if it doesn't work? Next time we podcast, I will have conquered this. It will all be sound. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that. No, we'll all be self. I believe in you. Thank you.

I don't. I believe in you. Matt. Oh. The, uh, this soap. we're into the area. Yeah, so this is the black exploitation era. When I was a, when I was a We-Lad and worked at Blockbuster,

I made it my business to watch every black exploitation flick we had in stock. How did that business do? It did very well. I made upwards of no dollars and no friends. But, you know, I've seen all these great character actors in many other films. And it was really great to see them in a film with a budget. In a film where they had great costumes. By the way, now let's talk about.

about a couple of things. So this movie immediately, so we come out of that and then we go and we see James Bond's apartment. Townhouse. We'll say it's a townhouse, right? Sure. He's doing fine. Yeah. He's in a townhouse. It seems fitting. It doesn't seem too lavish, but it seems... I mean, it's very modern. The kitchen's modern. Not a window in the place. Oh, the kitchen's so modern.

The kitchen is... As we will discuss. We will get... Let's get devoted camera time to show you... With no dialogue to show you how modern. Let's... But first we must... I feel like we should talk about it. So he's in bed with a...

With an Italian lady. Yeah. Who... Is wearing... We'll be wearing a powder blue dress. Yes. Again, the Guy Hamilton powder blue rule. It's every Bond movie powder blue.

The... So we see her then knock at the door and James goes over the door and it's M. But already, as soon as he opens the door, M gives a brilliant look. Yes. Just this dry... That's your British off right there. Bernard Lee...

Oh, he's the best. He really is great. In fact, I was searching for this movie on iTunes. Not available. Live and let die? You don't own it? I own it.

I do own it, but I wanted a copy to have... You wash it on iTunes? Yeah. I had to buy it. It's not rentable. I couldn't find it. You didn't have to do that. But anyway, I will say...

Couriered one over to you. I will say, that it looks fantastic. Like they did a great job restoring it. I was kind of shocked, like halfway through, realizing this looks tremendous. Yeah, they really did a good job. Since the new TV, this is the first old Blu-ray. I'm telling you this thing.

Shut up about this TV. You could watch programs on it. Do you understand that? You know what? I'm starting to be on the universal remote side. You guys heard of MythBusters? You can just get it on your TV. Wait.

Yeah, sure. You can just get it. I'll tell you more. I'll tell you more. But it does look, it looks amazing. And you can, you can see flaws in people's skin like you don't want to. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's really something. You sure can. I was watching Raiders of the Lost Dark on Blu-Rater. Raders looks really, really, really, really shows you what a cinematographer can do. Raiders, if you see, if I recommend it, Paul, if you haven't seen it, watch Raiders of the Lost Dark, the Blu-ray release of it. I have not seen it on Blu-ray. Good Lord. Yeah.

The movie looks amazing. Temple of Doom looks okay. Yeah. Last Crusade looks amazing. That's it. But everybody's a little orange in this living lot die. Maybe I haven't calibrated my color correctly, but I'll take care of that. Get on that.

By next. Get on that. I'll get on it. I'll get on it. Well, let's talk about it. So he, in James Bond's apartment, I will say the, I found the choice of painting that he had hanging over the mantel. Yeah. What was it?

I don't remember. It's just an oil painting of, of, of, of, a little bit of, I don't know. some old admiral or something. It's not above his bed. No, no. Because his bed is up a couple and then it's like, of course his bed is low. I feel like, of course he would have a low bed. Yeah. It seems like a thing. Also,

the robe he's wearing is wonderful. The gold robe. You don't like it? Well, I didn't realize. It's yellow. I like the, I like the I like the color setting. But I don't, it's, I don't like that color. But the speaking of the Blu-ray,

I didn't realize until I watch this, that it's damask to like it's got that two-tone sheen to it, you know what I'm saying? You're just looking at me touch my chest? Monograms. Yeah. Oh, God. But it doesn't have a quilted collar or something? Am I thinking of something else I just, oh, no.

Oh, boy. Right of the Lost Ark, he's wearing a robe. That's what I'm thinking of. He wears a quilted color. Oh, you guys, life's great. You need to just stop. Been a rough couple of weeks, been a rough couple. Well, it's been a rough couple of months with these brats.

Rosin's, you know, give me one movie to get back in the spin of things. All right, by man with the golden guns. Okay. So, for some reason, he feels, well, I guess it's because he was working professionally with this Italian woman. I wasn't quite sure why he was hiding her. Yeah, I wasn't either. Yeah. I mean, everybody knows James Bond gets around.

Still in the time of propriety. Wait a minute. One simply doesn't do those. Is that maybe M's apartment and James Bond is not supposed to have girls in there? Oh, I wish. That's why there's that admiral painting? he wouldn't have had that espresso maker or whatever it was. We saw M's, you see M's house wonderfully portrayed in Honor Majesty's Secret Service.

And Casino Royal and Skyfall. Yeah, but those are two different places. I wish she'd kept the same place. You know what I mean? When her husband died, she had to, you know, streamline. Sure. Okay, okay. So let's talk about, I think her husband was into modern.

And then when he died, she's like, finally I can get back to the old colonial stuff. I don't think colonial was a style in England. it is the style it's not everything style at the colonial time it was Edwardian but anyway whatever so let's talk about

our favorite thing in the movie which is James Bond's kitchen and that coffee maker by the way those copper roosters yes I had so out of touch that's country kitchen my mother had those in our kitchen and those tiles those roosters

copper but then but then my favorite part is there's an There's an entire counter full of pots and pans. Just place. Really? I didn't notice. And he's never touched one.

Oh, my goodness. But then you're like, that's an awful lot of cookery for one man to have. And then the stove is full of them. Like, it is just covered and copper. Maybe it's one of those things. You know how, like, let's say you have like a little, you know, a mug with a crow on it. And he was like, oh, it likes crow. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to get him close stuff. Everyone gets a... So he's like, oh, James Bond has a pot in his house. I'm going to get him a pot for a gift. He loves pots. He loves pots and pans. He's got a Scottish housekeeper named May in the novels that lives with him. It doesn't know how to put shit away.

No. I'm not sure she lives with him, but she's there all the time, cleaning up after him, making meals. So this... Yeah. The Vitamix of it today, I suppose, the fanciest thing you could have was apparently an espresso. They treat it like it's a gadget from Cube Branch. There might as well be a line

before he makes the coffee that's like, wait till you see this. Same with his digital watch in the beginning, too. I really, really devote a little time. I took a screenshot of the credit. They get a special thanks in the in the credits and it's the

come on, I have it here. Keep talking well in mind. The shot of the watch is so long that I was waiting for something to happen. It's like, oh, this is a gadget that he has and then nothing happens then I realized oh it's just this is a new thing those red digital digital yeah

pulsar the time computer let me see the time computer it competes the time I took the shot because they like to they wanted to thank Rolex Inc pulsar the time computer and the black Stutman's Association of Hollywood

oh wow Really great Oh and tarot cards by Fergus Hall Speaking of Speaking of both black men stunt association and tarot cards When they're in the hotel room in Jamaica And he flips Rosie over Couldn't more obviously be a man

Was it really? Oh God I didn't notice And she's a muscular broad The black stunt woman She's a muscular broad This guy was really muscular And those tarot cards...

Why are you speaking like Paul's dressed? Oh, she was a muscular broad. Jizzled, gell. The deltoids on this bitch. Oh. Sorry, let's go too hard. It was too much. Did you guys notice the back of those tarot cards there?

007? Yeah. You know you can buy those tarot cards. I have them. Of course you do. Well, someone gave him to me as a gift. All of the... The pots?

Yes, like Matt likes James Bond. I get a lot of James Bond gifts. I feel like I'm not watching these movies the same thing. No, you're probably not. I didn't catch those copper roosters. I didn't catch the back of the tarot card. So you're watching it to enjoy. Well, I'm watching it like it's a movie.

Not like it's a crime scene to be studied. He's watching people act, and we are looking right fast. I want you to know that I'm calibrating my new TV off the powder blue of James Bond's Terry Cloth onesie. No Terry Cloth in this movie. God damn. No powder blue Terrycloth. A lot of powder blue. Yeah.

No, Terry Claw. No, that's the one thing I was looking for. Because of your theory. That's the one thing I was looking for. There has to be. He uses a towel at some point. Done. So this is when the...

Are there towels in every James Bond movie? Is that the thing that unifies all of them? I think there's towels in every film. Oh, my God. To be a Mason-Ask a Mason. All right. It's rough. Tau theory?

My favorite, my favorite, my favorite exchange between Bond and M, which is then became a cliche in all movies, not just James Bond movies, but was, uh, we need you on the next plane. Oh, get me on the next plane to such and such. You're already on it. Yeah. Oh, it's good. It's a good, it's a good exchange.

May I, uh, back to the coffee maker. Yes. So there's this, there's this dedicated screen time on this podcast. Yeah. But then what's so crazy is instantly undercut by M-Says. is that all it does? So, I mean, I don't know. To be a moviegoer at that time,

how did that line impact? Because watching it from a modern standpoint, it's like, yeah, that's perfect. After what we just watched, that's the perfect thing to say. But at the time, are you supposed to... If you went to see that movie in the theater, would you have said,

oh, stupid M? First of all... What we just saw was amazing. I think they're doing... He's grinding his own beans. He's grinding his own espresso beans. Yeah. Huge.

Like he's doing, he's selling coffee beans on the side. But then he's making, he's making him an espresso, not a coffee. I think they're doing what will become a running joke with the Subway sandwich and then the menthol inhaler and never say never again where you think it's a gadget and then you find out it's just a regular everyday object. This, by the way, gadget heavy movie with no cue appearance. Why? I don't know. Why would they do that?

It's a very gadget heavy from. Do they just feel like they had a condensed time? That's why M stops by his house In the middle of the night Here's a watch I was on my way home And then money penny too Yeah money penny shows up

The whole gang's here And she bros Everyone exempt you She bros before Hozim too Yeah she really does She's a winner that money penny It's just national security Right

People online are asking me Like my timeline theory doesn't work Because of Money Penny But then I say to them that Moneypenny is the adopted daughter of Money Penny. Oh, Jesus Christ. The new money. So that's how that theory works in my head.

Now, follow the Terry Claw. He flies to New York. Sure. Oh, by the way, what he's wearing when he gets off the plane in New York, just that top coat. Yeah, top coat fits like a glove. Good. He's got gloves on. Super British.

Oh, looks great. Looks great. We love. We love. I love the stock. of this movie because it's crazy 70s but not crazy. It's not as crazy as you think it's going to do. Yeah.

Even with like the pim clothes. Yeah, the pim clothes and some of the extras, that's sort of the wacky 70s that you think of when you think of 70s clothing. It's still somehow doesn't go too far though. No. Yeah. It's surprising. Yeah.

His suits are all sort of like, I mean, the lapels are a little large, but other than that. He's so clean cut too. He looks terrific. He really is fit. And he's 45. I think when he did this. Oh, my goodness. 20 years older than George when he quit the Beatles.

Yeah. He's how many years older than Connery just in general? He's a couple, three years older than Connery or something like that? Oh, I didn't know that. It's so crazy how Connery looks just like... I know. You take Diamonds of Forever Connery and live and let die more. Oh, my God.

And they don't even look the same. You put Dr. No Connery and live and let die more, and you put them next to each other. go, oh, Roger Moore's the younger guy. Put Finding Forrester, Connery, against Cannonball Run Roger Moore. I'll do you one up. Put Spice World's Roger Moore. Against the extraordinary gentleman, Sean Conner. Yes.

The league. Fleak up. Sorry, everyone. Put getting beat by his wife, Roger Moore, against beating his wife, Sean Conner. Yeah, and it's just uncomfortable all around. Yes. You just perfectly described their bombs. I know.

I know. All right. Okay. We landed New York. Yes. James Bond is picked up in a Lincoln. They're heading down the old expressway there. When what do we see?

A Pimpmobile. Whisper in the Pimpmobile. A Pimpmobile with missiles. Yeah. So great. With dart missiles. And they hold targeting system. This driver, Roger Moore's driver too, is just, it feels like a non-actor or something like.

Charlie. Oh, the guy with the crazy sideburns? No, that's the cabby. That's the cabby. Oh, the cabby. This is the guy that picks him up from the airport. He's just, he's so nondescript. And it's got there one piece, shall we, Charlie?

Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The only acting he does is slump over. Oh, I thought that was in a cap. But it's a very believable. It's a very believable, though.

Yeah. It is. This was a great car chase. Yes. It was. It was really great. Yeah. The, but the people.

It seems very novel to me that, you know, having the dead driver and him having to, from the backseat, navigate the car. I feel like that must have been done in something else, but this seemed very, the way it was shot, it was like very fresh. Yeah, and it also seemed like that's how that would happen. Yeah, yeah. That's how. It was exciting. That's the physics of that.

But yeah, Felix Lider on the radio actually says Pimpmobile. Yes, get me a make on that Pimpmobile. Get me a make on a white Pimpmobile. I that was like wow that's just what they call man it's a good looking car though but is that is that a reflection is that is that sort of a a commentary on the the the rudeness of

Americans like I would never have described at such well I mean the commentary I think it's written by an American the commentary on the American thing is I think Sheriff Peppers oh which will get to a British actor which we'll get to He's actually New York. Really?

No southern accent. Did you think he was British? Really? The Southern guy? The sheriff? Yeah. Because that accent is so terrible. He was like, this guy must be British.

Like, this is what American people sound. But by the way, they say in the documentary, I forget who's saying it. They say like, he's not even Southern. Can you believe the accent? It was so good. Terrible. Secret. Age.

It's absolutely terrible. And I didn't want to look it up at the time because I wanted to. see if I was... Well, you know they bring him back in Man with a Golden Gun. Yes, I do remember that, yeah. And he's also... Well, why not?

He was so much fun. He's in Superman 2. He plays the same character in Superman 2. He's a sheriff. Yeah. When the three Vizade and the two others land, and he's got the young protege sheriff,

and he goes, you go handle him. Yeah. How was everybody convinced that this guy was so good at this? Because he's awful. I love it. That definitely, him being in that movie had to be after Dick

Donner got shit cam, and they brought him. Richard Lester. Lester. Yeah. Dick Lester? Dick Donner. Oh, my God. Yeah, who directed Hard Day's Night.

Beatles. Paul McCartney. Living the die. We're back. Okay. Thank you for the breadcrumb trail. You're welcome. You're dynamite.

So, Bond still has to get to where he's going. Yeah. So they trace the Pimpmobile was registered to the store. Because, of course, the Pimpmobile's registered to the hideout. That's what you do. when you build a pit bull in legally register it. Imagine a head. It's a front.

What do we list as the... It's a front. It's a voodoo store. Hey, boss, this is a work car, so you mind if I register in here? I want to be able to write off gas. Are you even hearing it? Are you even hearing me? It's a voodoo store.

That's a front. It's a hidden front. Yes, but it's called O cult. Yeah? O-H cult. Yeah. I'll go to bat for this. That's not quite as good as fillet of soul.

Tusha. Which is a better name. That's not a bad name. Can you gift wrap this lengthwise? What? I didn't understand that. Like a triple on time? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know what that means. So James has to get there. Okay, so James goes in. He sort of takes a gander around, and then he finds, he stumbles upon the way to get to the Pimmobile. Parking lot. Pimobiles there. He then has to follow the pitmobile, so he hails the cabby.

And this is when we begin our fun network of CB radios hidden all across Harlem. Yeah. And he says there's an extra 20 in it, and the wonderful driver says, for an extra 20 bucks, I'll take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout. Yeah. Cookout. Am I misremembering, or does he actually say Klu Klux? He does.

Which most people do. Most people do that, and they're wrong. A little respect. It's that Ku Klux Klan. The clan, please. All right, George Harrison died too late, and respect the clan. That's what we're getting near.

So, okay, he gets to the Filo Sol. I've checked out... You can find him. It's like following it. I've checked out that corner. Really? That build... The storefront still exists.

I think right now it's a... It's actually a restaurant. Oh. Which it wasn't then, but yeah. And the building with the seven ups line. That whole, that block,

that section has not changed. Really? Yeah. Oh. It's very, I mean, it's, it's not as filthy and crime-ridden

as it looked in the movie, but that corner is still there. To be fair, they put those crimes in there for dramatic purposes. Right? They had to, because I can't imagine Harlem in 1970s being a bad place.

I love this scene where he goes in to this place. Yeah. And I'd like it neat, please, no ice. He'll be extra. And then when he sits James Bond down, James... It's a lot of energy to take that. I'd like a beer, no ice.

James Bond turns around in the thing, and the guy takes the money and drinks the drink. Yes. Oh, so good. It's great. It's smooth. Yeah. And then, so this is when we meet Mr. Big. Yes.

Which, this must be the first instance of someone named Mr. Big, right? Sex in the city. This. and the band. Don't forget Wayne's World. I think there was a Mr. Big in the animated the wacky racers. Yep.

The Ant Hill gang. Oh my God. This is a bunch of tiny guys in a big car and I think their leader was Mr. Bigg. Wow. They're all connected in some way. Let me ask you guys something with a little bit of the inside

Ian Fleming novel knowledge in this film. What do you think about Mr. Big's face? Tell me what you feel. Just tell me. Okay. Okay. I forgot a thing about Mr. Big that is revealed later

And so when I first see him You didn't immediately go that's the effect No, I didn't I didn't not till the next time you see him And then I was like, oh, right Before he pulls the face off But when I first see this guy Because you see him, it's a medium shot

They don't have any close-ups of him And he's in and out pretty quickly And I remember that And so I'm watching it now and I'm thinking, what's with that guy? It looks like a weird burn victim or something. He looks like the black version of that blonde 80s actor that kind of had burned scars. He was in a lot of like action movies. You know who I'm talking about that?

You're thinking of Michael, Michael, God, Michael J. Vincent? Is that he thinking of? I don't know his name, but let me tell you this. So in the novel, there's just Mr. Big. There's no cana. That guy's name. The Cananga character is named after the guy that alligator farm for the movie. Too good a name to waste.

It's really kind of well. But it does sound African, and the guy is just like a white southern guy. Somebody looking over the script like, can we get Cananga in there somewhere? Just name somebody Cananga. Ross Cananga is his name. But in the novel, Mr. Big is the villain, and he has, he's really thick and big. And, like, Fleming goes out of his way to say how thick-skinned black people are in just horrible ways. Yeah.

So he has a pulmonary artery problem, and so he's black, but his skin is gray because he doesn't get enough blood. And that's why they never mentioned in the movie, but Mr. Big is kind of gray. Yeah. He looks, he's ashy. Yeah. And that's why. You've just experienced Fleming Corner. Now, in the BBC docudrama, is that?

I haven't watched it. I've got it. I've got it taped, but I haven't watched it. Do you think they will include his crazy homophobia and racism? I would hope. I mean, that's what built the man. That's what built the man. Yeah.

No kidding. It's bananas. When you read some of those lines, you're like, oh, okay. He had some problems. Okay. He had some problems that he started with drink and ended with horrible racism. He wrote on a golden typewriter. I mean, that tells you enough right there.

What? He knew how to spend his line. Yes. Yes. in a blue terry cloth short pant onesie jumper I will you stop it Will you not Will you yield

We need to just get it over with and both wear them I'm dying for one of those I bet it's comfortable are you in Are you in Paul? Onsies are never comfortable Because if you hunt you're like if you do a shrug Like I don't know And then it really ruins your crotch

You know what I'm saying Ruins your crotch For other people people. Like your scenario where you're shrugging them. I don't know. So I have to, I have to act. How often life do you actually?

I have to act like I know everything. You know what? I want a second, Matt Meyer. Okay. Yes, Paul. More than you think. Really? It's not like you're thinking in your mind,

I better give it a shrug here. It's like it's a thing that you do. You're doing it right now. Oh, my God. I got to get out of here. Boy, taken. My girlfriend bought me. Oh, use your legs.

Use your legs. My girlfriend bought me a onezy sleeper for a Christmas, a couple of Christmases ago. And since wearing, it. I cannot say, I don't know. I have to lie about everything. I cannot shrug my shoulders. I have to just, she'll ask me a question. Like, how does nuclear fission work?

Well, here we go. And then three hours later, I've explained She's asleep. And your remote still doesn't work. Oh. You've got to get that crotch lowered. You're like LBJ. Just go to the ones like crotch lowering. LBJ, I got to get the crotch of these kids.

What are the brand of the pants? Oh, I forget. that. Hager? Hager slacks, maybe. Oh, my God, yes. The tape of him. For the listener, if you're not familiar,

seek out, it's very easily found. The audio of LBJ on the phone with his tailor. Describing in excruciating detail how he wants these trousers altered. Oh, my goodness. And I don't know if that's the same tape, but he has single-handedly the most off-putting quote, ever, which is, uh, that's the worst thing to happen since Panningho's ruined finger fucking. Says that on one of this phone conversations.

As he should. All right. Not to be indelicate after this, uh, Lyndon Baines Johnson quote, but segueing into one of my favorite bond girls. Or you can just do one. She's, no. Lyndon B. Johnson should always be our segue into everything. He's my favorite bond girl.

Lady Bird Johnson. Oh, she's a, she was a something. She was ladybird. But yes, Solitaire, Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn, medicine woman. She knows your own jewelry line. Yes, she does. Open heart? Yeah.

Open heart? It's calling heart to heart or leave your heart open or something like that. It's not, it's this design, which I'm sure you've seen. Here, I'll draw it on my rent check. It goes like this. You know, like that, but not as shitty. And you can get it from a jeweler. Now that we've plugged Jane's line.

Yeah. Maybe she'll come on the show. Valentine's Day is coming. Go, guys, next week. What are you going to do? That's right. So, Solitaire, she's wonderful. I think she's great.

Especially for the role. I mean, the role she's playing, they wanted to go, Mankiewitz wanted to go black. Yeah. But he knew he could never go back. In a wise joke. bond girl would be black

after that. By the way, there should be, I'm glad Money Penny is now a woman of African descent. I feel like there's a severe lacking. A woman of African descent. I think you... Well, you can't say African American because she's British.

That's true. Do you even know if she's African? She could be West Indies. That's very true. I don't know, though. A woman of color. Naomi Harris. It's probably what I should have said. In retrospect. It's an expression that people use.

Yeah. A shadowy lady of the night. But it's just so... A dusky... A dusky Bantu woman. A newbie and princess, if you will. But yeah, I feel like it's something that the series has lacked many times over. And Hallie Berry didn't help much.

No, she did not. She, I would say, set the whole thing back. No, come on. The writing in that. Denise Richards did more to set back things for black women and bond movies. However, let's talk about Rosie. Oh, I know. Because it is unfortunate that this is not the first woman of color we've seen in a James Bond movie.

Correct. But for someone who's supposed to be kind of a Bond girl and kind of his ally. And a CIA. And a CIA agent. Just like ridiculously incompetent and cowardly. and like a woman like this would never have made it into the CIA. No, it's a fault of the writing. Never.

Yeah, it's really, it's, and I felt so bad for the actress. On her second mission, no less. Yeah, I felt so, what was the first mission? Crossing Guard? Make sure these kids get across the street safely. She worked with Baines, the guy who got scared of death by the snake. They were an unbeatable team. Two terrified people.

Where are we going to put them in Jamaica? She, but she, I felt, We needed a scarity cat, I counteract this scary cat. I really felt bad for the actress because she had to do some really just ridiculously goofy, cowering and squealing and... She goes to a lot of those bond events, like screenings and stuff.

She's one of the bond girls that goes to a lot of those, and she just seems wonderful. She seems very appreciate that. I wish that she had been served better by this... Had a better role. Yeah. Yeah. It's a shame.

She does as good as good. a job as you're going to do with what she's asked to do, you know, but it, yeah, it was really jarring to me. Yeah. Because I don't remember her being quite that. I remember her being scared at all the voodoo stuff, which really holds up, I think.

As cartoonish as the rest of her character is, the idea that the power of these symbols meaning something to her, I thought was very cool. Like, like, the idea that if you understand this culture, you know that this is a bad thing,

to be seeing right now. That stuff worked for me, but it's weird. I forgot that the... Let's talk about Roger Moore's explaining away the tiny hat and how wonderful that line was. What is it? Yeah, but I think it's something to the effect of a small man lost a fight with a chicken. Then he goes on to use her fear to sleep with her. That's what he does.

I know, but he is fantastic at analyzing a situation and figuring out of exposing a weakness what it is that will let him slide it in yep but it's yeah there but in both instances in this movie where he deceives women and having sex it is uh

it's it's it's it's way too much trouble when he's on the job it's like you shouldn't be making this big plan he does he does like the whole his whole hang gliding to sleep with solid

Well, because he's about to go out and do something, and she goes one more time. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. This will keep.

This is, uh, we, we see Whisper again. Whisper is the, uh, is the wonderful, uh, Champagne. Anybody who. Anybody home. Somebody home. Sammy. Um, Mr.

and Mrs. Bond. Oh, by the way, I feel like his reaction to Mrs. Bond is, is interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Because his wife did just die. Yeah. Oh, interesting. But also as a secret agent.

He kind of gives himself up a little bit there to that guy to the concierge. I thought that, too. Yeah. I think that James Bond is the worst at being undercover. He doesn't give a show. He doesn't. He doesn't care. Always says his real name.

Yeah. Always. He's like, celebrity spy. Says it in a weird way that's repeating it so that you'll making sure that you heard it. Recognize it? James Bond. That's why he's doing it, Bond. James Bond.

Maybe you've heard him. I was a secret agent. Wink. Wink. Did you just say wink? I'm working under cover, for Her Majesty. They had a line of tarot cards made after me. Oh.

Double O seven. Can't wait to get into those tarot cards. Okay, so he takes a bath. Which he kind of like. Right. Yeah. I'm just, I'm a bath bag. He's ready to read, have a good time, relax.

He's got a gold-plated shaving caddy in there. But guys, let's get into baths for one second. All right. Yeah. Are they relaxing for more than? two minutes? Yes. Oh.

Not to me. I can't do it. I'm a bath guy. I have a bath in my upstairs that I have never turned on. I've never even turned on. I don't understand how when you get up early in the morning, you have your face with the option. Don't get me wrong. You shower off, you get clean first.

But bath-wise, you have the option of stand up or continue your restful journey into day in a warm, warm, womb-like temperatures. Who does that? No one takes a bath to start the day. You're sitting at the table with one of them. I call bullshit. You're not taking baths to start the day. Yes, I do. Why would you take...

Oh, I believe him. Why wouldn't you? It takes way more time. That's okay. No, not takes more time. You get more time. Here's the thing. Here's what he does, Matt Meyer.

Yes, Paul. McCorley, and Matt, correct me if I'm wrong at any step of this. You're probably right. gets out of bed, let's say, as late as possible. Yeah. Goes to the bathroom, turns on the tub, like, you know, make sure the water is at the right temperature as it's running, goes back into the bed. No. Because he's timed how long it takes the tub to fill up.

See, now you're just making a mockery of a... What do you do? You lie down on the bathroom floor. What do you do? No, you get in, you take a quick shower, you get real clean. What? Wait. So you're not sitting in dirty, wet. bath water. Okay, I support that part of it.

Yes. Wait, so you take a shower first and then you take a bath? A quick shower to get the work done and then you reap the benefits. You are ever late for anything again. You're assuming I've even showered today. Are you stopping the tub while you're taking the shower so that the water is? No. Well, no, not at first because you want the dirty water to go away. Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, this is a whole other scenario in my head. I'm thinking you have a separate shower. No, it's all one. So you take a shower in the tub. Yeah. You're clean now. So you let the water, you let the water drain out from the shower. Then you stop the tub.

Yeah. And then you start the bath water. Yeah. Okay. Do you ever leave the tub? No. Okay. All right.

So there's a, there's a period where you're, you're cold and wet waiting for this tub to fill. But that's the best part because. You're like comfort is coming. Hold on a second. That's not the best part of anything. Comfort is coming. To be naked and cold is not the best part of anything. I'm wearing a Terry cloth, powder blue skin suit.

No. I'm telling you, you don't love like a half hour soak. You got a book. Can a friend have another friend committed or do you have to be married? Why is this crazy? People, I think. First of all, you're wasting. a half hour of your morning. Wasting!

You're not going to get them with that, man. Wasting? I'm being rewarded. You're not. I'm given, I've been given a gift. Sleep for a half hour. Angels have come down and said, let me give you the warmest gift. I don't I almost feel as if we've gotten off top.

Yeah, we have. How? Let's go back to the fact of it's just a weird sense that I have. There's a snake in them, our boots. This is the snake. This is the snake. Paul was previously thinking of. This dumb snake. All right. which wastes more time than Matt Goreley and Roger Moore's James Bond put together in the bathroom. Do you know how many brilliant ideas have had just in there, just thinking?

You know what I'm saying? You mean when most people would have these ideas in the shower? I bet they're all tub related, though. They are. Hey, how about a tub that had a built-in porcelain pillow? What if the grout was lighter? How about a club foot bath? Clubfoot bathtub.

Not club foot. No, club foot baths it. It wears a special shoe. It's slanted, and so you can lean and sort of rest to one side. Oh, my God. What if you could sleep under water? Why would you slant something that holds water? So you slant over.

Look, I don't need. These speak for themselves. You slant over. There's a little waterfall that cascades out one side, and then reclaims itself into irrigation water for the yard. Oh, like an infinity tub. Yep. An infinity tub, of course. And we're rather.

than having a window on your wall, you just have a mural. Okay. You don't have a window. All right. Let's talk about snake. The snake. Yeah. The poisonous snake that is released into the, into the bathroom.

Yes. Via a heating duct. Snake gets into the bathroom. Just kind of checking it out, looking around. You're like, oh, this is nice. I guess I got some work you. So this is my mission. Let me orient myself.

Oh, I'll be working with you. Are you against you? Oh, I see. You're not even positive. It's a poisonous snake. It could just be a garter snake. It's really, yeah, it's just a snake. It's a snake.

And James Bond lights a cigar, as one does. As one does when you're ready to relax. Roger Moore specifically wanted to make that his thing. He didn't, he doesn't smoke cigarettes. He was a cigar guy, yeah. All right. Fun facted the air out of that one. You all except James Bond must smoke something.

Well, why can't he just not smoke? No, no. I know. He rolls his in as the first one. I say, what if he choose tobacco? But Brasen smokes cigars. He did, yeah. But he wasn't regularly.

Yeah, right. Okay. I mean, there's some regularity to doing it 25% of the time by being once in the four movies. Anyway. So he then uses this cigar as a weapon. Yeah. Thanks to his aerosol can of powder blue shaving cream. No, it's after shave.

Whatever it is. Why would there be an aerosol? Arisol aftershave. I know. Well, they exist, Paul, they exist. And they did. My father, I remember my father having an aerosol after shave, really? I remember my father having an aerosol old.

And you just spray it in your hand or you spread it on your face? I think you, I think he would spray it on his hands and then do this. And I can't imagine you'd want to spray anything aerosol in your face. I remember as a kid, my dad had old spice, but he had that the bottle, you know, the traditional bottle. And I remember. Yeah. I remember being fascinated by it's like how, I didn't know how that worked. Yeah.

It doesn't pour out. It just gives you. Yeah. And the. idea that, look, don't go past this amount. This is what it gives you. Those weird little gray caps that was just

I can still, I vividly remember my father's high karate. What? What's that? Oh, you don't know how to high karate? It was an aftershave for men to catch on the karate shave. Look up on YouTube. Look up the commercials for high karate. Amazing. Oh, my God. It was

my dad's quintessential 70s aftershave. High karate. But yeah, so he has an aerosol can of that, and he uses it and turns it into a flamethrower, which is something I think we've all done. He's super flinches when he first turns around. When he first turns around to do it. Yep. Can I just breathe?

And he's not quite looking in the right place. Like the eye line is off and he's like, dude. He's like, are you sure this is a safe? He is a pacifist, Roger Moore. I don't think he was ever comfortable with that stuff. When I was younger, I experimented a lot with the aerosol, the flamethrowers. We all did. And then one time.

I didn't actually. You really didn't? Yeah, I was a bit of a Roger Moore about it. one time I took Because I think I saw somebody do it It really freaked me out The wild kid that lived next door There's a Roger Moore about town

I took a stick of deodorant And lit it thinking Oh this would be like a torch Because they have alcohol in them as well Right And it sure did And I was in my room And I shook it to get it out

And the deodorant came out of the car No No Rolled under my bed on fire I had my family's antique twin bed And the back box spring Was just shredded with Like material

And it just went and I lit my bedroom on fire and my buddy and I ran we got pots full of water and we put it out but my carpet was all burned and the bed was all burned and I got in big trouble

Is that kind of gone so much worse? Is this why you now spend so much time in the bathtub? Yeah well I'm afraid of fire You're gonna be in water as long as possible Yeah absolutely We solved it Wow

Case closed I the closest I came to lighting my house on fire Was lighting my house on fire Almost essentially It was again I had a metal trash can and remember the rolls of caps you could get as a child?

I love those. I got as many of those. I got as many of those as possible and lit them on fire. Oh my God. And threw them in the trash. But they don't pop when you let them on fire. They go,

yeah. Yeah, I found that out. Yeah. I threw that in the trash, not thinking that obviously the trash will then catch fire. Oh, man. And it was right next to our house, which was wood.

Yours is just slightly more stupid. And it just started, it just started going. up that and my next door neighbor happened to be the Lowell, Massachusetts Fire Marshal. Oh my God. And he came over with the garden hose and put it out. Really? Yeah. Wow.

It was a... That's kind of nice. You've always burned our house down, right? Paul? You've burned your house down. Have I? No, but you know what? I was accused of that when I was a little kid. What? We had a fire in our house. You were in that track suit? Because that might be why you were...

What, I was a little kid? We did. We had, my parents were out. We had a babysitter. And there was a fire in our house. I remember the babysitter waking me up, you know, get out of the house. And fire in your house? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, in the kitchen. And so we went outside. We went next door to my cousin's house. They live right next door. And fire department came. It was a very small fire. But it was enough that it was like, we can't just throw a glass of water on this. like we have to get out of here. And so I was interrogated by the fire captain. And he said, were you playing with matches? And I said, no. And he said, you're lying.

I was like, I was asleep, you know. And so I'm still on record as having started that fire. But what happened was my cousins were next door playing poker. And so the fire was set in our house. and then when everybody ran to deal with the fire, they stole the money off the table. Who did? Whoever set the fire?

Like they saw, because you could see into, it was, it was ground level. You could see into the way. But why didn't you? Your babysitter vouched for you that she woke you up. I'm sure she did. I'm sure she started the fire. I don't.

Then you've never put that together? She was a family friend. I'll bet she was. Well, it's always been burning since the world's been turning. But wait, she would have vouched for you and they still were, you're still on record as the fire starter? I don't know if they asked her. I mean, they might have said, is it possible that? Oh, have we just uncovered your criminal background?

This is the shittiest investigation. I was wrongfully acute. It was terrible. It was terrible. And I will never forget that guy's face. Oh, my God. You're lying. And like, nobody stuck up for me.

You know what I mean? Like, it was the weirdest. It was the weirdest thing. My mother told me years later, because I remembered it. My mother said, yeah, you're still on record as having, you know, that was the official story was that kid was playing with matches and, you know. So like, so the idea is like, I was playing with matches. This got out of control. It was like, I better pretend to be asleep.

Went upstairs. I'll just let that, I'll just let that fire go. Obviously, this is going to be trouble. I better go pretend to be asleep. Oh, my God. I never knew. It's horrible. That's an amazing story.

Oh, back to Roger Moore. Yes. So the next morning they go off, what's he wearing? Oh my God. He's wearing a powder blue jumpsuit. Denim jumpsuit. Well, denim jacket. Yeah, I'm sorry.

You got a jumpsuit. Low scoop neck wife beater. Which I didn't like. I could even handle the powder blue two-piece denim. You know why? I didn't like it. I feel like he doesn't have the upper body nor arms to wear that. He's a smooth guy, smooth guy, smooth tan guy.

He has one of those transitional bodies from when it's like, he's like, he's clearly fit and he's in good shape but there's no definition to his body at all you know yeah and it's not like it's before it gave way to like that being super cut yeah his whole upper body is like one firm calf shave yeah yeah yeah you mailed it yeah uh so the uh this is now at the point where rosy is is the she's revealed herself as uh she's revealed herself as a as a A terrible CIA agent. Terrible CIA agent. It's so confusing.

I know. It's not very clear. She's a terrible CIA agent and a terrible double agent. She's a terrible agent all around. She's in the wrong business. No agent. But no agent. So she, they have to take a boat somewhere.

So when you're in the world of James Bond and you want to take a boat somewhere, you got to hire Quarrel. Well, unfortunately. We don't know yet. Cawral Jr., right? Yeah. Quarrel has died and at some point gave. Gave way to his namesake.

Who seems older than that. How's that possible? Absolutely correct. Coral Jr. He was born in a time vortex. Meet the man who shares my hairbrush. Okay. I understand that means you're close, but it seems weird.

Yeah, I don't. Yeah. What does that expression? It might be. It must be. I wrote that down on paper last, like, while I was watching it. I was like, what does this? I'm going to start using it.

The man who's on toothbrush turn. Meet the man who shares my hairbrush is going to be my new show for people. That's the way to do it, I guess. So, yeah, we don't know what's going on. He's fishing off the back of the boat with his tiny arm. Yeah, what's happening? With his tiny arm. Isn't there some sort of mission that he's supposed to be on?

Why is he fishing? I remember being, like, when he sits down and he gets the rod and reel, I'm like, what? What are you doing? I got time to kill. How could we sleep? the plot down. Deep sea fishing. So the boat captain seems like he's about to...

Boat captain seems like we might be a bad guy. He's got the rope. So Rosie is sent downstairs to change. She's already wearing the bathing season. Me? Change clothes. Where? So she goes... He's not deaf.

To hang up her robe on a hook and then... That already has something hanging on it. Why hasn't it pulled it down? Well, it just wasn't quite heavy enough. All right. Needed the robe. Yeah. So it reveals some sort of radio.

Yeah, radio. Weird thing to have on a boat. Oh, and there is high quality radio and a gun. Some suspicious about this. Well, just the idea that it's hidden, I guess? Yeah. And why is it? Anyway, so she goes up and she sees Quarrel Jr.

holding a rope. By the way, this is the most agent-like thing she does. It is the only agent thing she does. She thinks that James is in danger. Yes. And to keep up the faquade, she decides, she decides. She decides to threaten them, to kill them. But then, obviously, they share hairbrush.

Now, so even that, she's failed out. And why is she wearing a wig? I had that same thing. Why? Why is she wearing a wig? But isn't that, wasn't that kind of the thing? That was kind of the style of the day. So it's just a variety of things?

It was. So what? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because she would have looked cool either way, either with the big, Afro or with the short hair. But it's just like a further thing to humiliate her.

Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what that is. It's the only reason it exists. That's exactly right. Now this is the, they go to the cove, right? And this is where we start to see these scarecrow. Right, which are awesome looking.

Yeah. They're great looking. Yeah, yeah. And then we find that the. The scarecrows have lenses for eyes and guns for mouths. They keep the crows out. This is when Roger Moore is the least believable in this scene when he threatens to shoot her. Oh, really?

Because I'm just like, Roger Moore James Bond would never, I feel like he would never shoot her. We will have to. And the way he threatens it too is just not even like, he's not even into it. This screaming, Mimi doesn't know that. Right? True. She's scared of a coconut head. She knows nothing. With the one real downfall in these Roger Moore ones is how he kisses is really uncomfortable.

Oh, I didn't know. It's not so bad in this. The amount of time that you and I, adult men, have discussed the kissing styles of actors who've portrayed James Bond is concerning. Well, I've had a lot of time in the bath to think about it. All right. on the lookout for snakes he just there's something

like it's almost like he's pushing away you don't get the feeling he ever wants to kiss these women with Connery you feel like he he's not even acting he just wants to kiss too much yeah same with Lazyzby

like they have to pull him off get a hose cut cut anyway all right why do I have make your choice written down as a quote oh wait until you find out why

you don't know oh I know you do Yes, I do. What is that? Make your choice. I don't remember either. Make your choice. Do you have it in quotes, or is it...

Yeah. Make your choice. Did that help? Make your choice. That was Rosie. All right, so Rosie, unfortunately, meets her maker at the hands of a scarecrow mouth that has a gun in it. Remote control scarecrote. She gets the real thick red paint blood.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She gets the full. I did. I don't know if it's if it is a holdover from when, from watching it when I was a kid or if it still works. But the, again, the,

the, her reaction to the voodoo stuff really packed a punch for me. I really, it was the one thing that I liked about her character was that she made that real for me. But I don't know. Okay. So he's accusing her of, he's accusing her of doing an act.

But she really is afraid of these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think she's just afraid of dying. I can't tell if it's at the hands of the voodoo or if it's at the hands of Cananga. I think she knows it's Cananga, right? The one good thing that this movie does is it rides this border of, are things supernatural, or are they just happening out of fear from the things until the end, of course. Well, there's something coming up very soon that, yeah.

Well, let's now discuss. Oh, yeah. We have to discuss. James now must go see Solitaire. Of course, yes. Because why not? And he does so by hang gliding. in a

while smoking a cigar yes in what appears to be a black peacoat and a black suit that's what I'm thinking it is the whole time uh he then some sort of Morse code let's let's quarrel know that he's gonna release

and fly for him to take care of the hairbrush and take it's back yeah the hairbrushes on you the hairbrushes on you uh James then flies in when he when he

when he releases the hang glider he then rips away his black pants to reveal a tan pant and then you're like well that's not going to match that jacket oh don't worry inside out why why I guess to look like he's not intruding

just in case and it really came in handy I suppose do you think that he just was like what is my what outfit am I the am I the most attractive in like was that sort of his aim like he's like I'm going to land here. Because it seems like this, it seems like James Bond's intent here is to just go there and have sex with Solitaire.

Wait, he's there for other, he wants to find out what's going on with Mr. Big and all that stuff. He doesn't know about the heroine. Why would he bring a stack of lover cards? Oh, well, that's for sure. I think he's going in for that reason to get information from her, but he doesn't know what he's going to find or what he's going to need to know. He's going and prepared. I'm not defending this. He doesn't know what he's going to find or what he needs to know, but he's going to.

knows he must sleep with her. Yeah. Okay, we agree on that. I think he knows that she's going to be the most sympathetic or easy, easy way into this organization. You can try, man. I'm not trying to defend it. This is a whole section of this film that it just, the movie just stops making sense for

a while. Yeah, yeah. Where most Bond films have. Why does he change the outfit? Why would he go and print up a fake deck of tarot cards? I imagine he bought something of 50 or so different. You think he bought like 50 decks? Because he goes at the hotel.

He goes, I just need to go get some tarot cards. Yeah, and that's when he goes into the tarot cards. He couldn't have had him printed. So he bought 50 identical cards. And they have those on. Why wouldn't she just use her own cards? Yeah. It's her whole thing.

Yeah. This is her whole thing. You can imagine she'd have like the finest of the finest of the fine. And would probably be like, no, I have a gift to see the future, so I'll use my card. I'll just use this. And why do these say 007 on the back? But even hers do.

Yes, no. They're the same. They're the same set. Yeah, they're the same set. But also, I just, I'm so, I'm torn here because I guess he's sleeping with her. Is he sleeping with her just to sort of like tear down the whole sort of, sort of, whatever infrastructure they have with her as the psychic person and cananga is the one who needs to know all the information because he knows he knows that she's very important to cananga right so and he knows that her being she's a virgin right yes and that that is important her being intact is important to this perceived psychic gift or whatever so then it turns out she seemingly does have an actual psychic gift and so her being deflowered uh destroys that and now she's she can't see the future anymore, to which she adjusts remarkably quickly.

Yeah. Like imagine if you had the power to see the fucking future. And then all of a sudden, you have sex and then it's gone. And then she's like, my gift is gone. And then like two minutes later, he's like, do you want to go again? She's like, yeah. Well, what's worse is he even admits? He says, I have to admit that deck was a little stacked.

Oh, it doesn't matter. Yeah. It doesn't matter. No. I had a supernatural power. And you took it. But I mean, there is... You tricked me!

There is some justification in her mind that, like, the initial... I mean, he did pull the lover card. Yeah. Off of her deck originally. When they first encountered each other in filial soul. Uh-huh. Which is not... Is it a fish?

It's a fish, right? That's what they're saying? Yeah, but it's also soul food. I think it's soul seafood. Catfish. New Orleans-style catfish. There you go. Done.

Figured it out. Only serve catfish. Yeah. It's a catfish restaurant. So, okay. She has, but she's okay with it because she's aware that like her mother lost the ability and her mother before her lost the ability, right? Is that what's happening? Yeah. But do they all work for, did they all always work for the Canangas?

I don't know, man. I want someone to find out. Okay. So now they need to run through a field of heroin to escape. Just like a helicopter. Just like a loser loss. From a hell. Everyone remembers. In fact, in this movie, if you know, if you know, if you know, I'm going to run through, you pause it, you can see someone hanging from a heroin plant. Watch this movie backwards to pink Floyd's. Actually, you watch this. This one, you play the wall. It's not Dark Side of the Moon.

So, yeah, they run. Oh, this is the double-decker bus chase. Yeah, which is pretty, pretty amazing. Which, now, watching the... Doing a 360. Doing a 360. Watching the behind the scenes. Yes, I have something to say about this.

They actually let, they just, they had Jane Seymour in this bus. I feel like, while they were filming, this crazy 360. She makes it sound like the, oh, it's not the bridge. She's talking about the 360. Because I thought I remember where she's like, I was in the bridge and they didn't even tell me they were going to bust the roof off or something. I guess it was the 360s. No, she was, yeah, she was in, and they have all this footage of her. they have this footage of them

attempting this 360 thing and she's in it and like you just see her in there and you're like you cannot make out who that is there's no reason for you to put your lead actress in this bus and they just did and they just did and then they didn't even score

by the way they didn't even score the bus for the for the roof to come off they just drove it like that they just drove it through there why the 70s yeah that's what it is It's bonkers.

It's a miracle anyone's alive. It really is. I don't know how I'm here. I assume my karate was poison. So yeah, the double-decker bus, the top half of the bus comes out, falls on a car on a car as you'd think it would. And the car, for some reason, then loses all ability to stop. Absolutely. And drives nicely into the water where a bunch of children come out.

Very excited. Then this is a scene I have forgotten about every time I've seen this movie. I forgot about it, forgot about it, forgot about it. And now I will try and remember it forever, but the plane scene. The scene of the plane chase. With the old lady in the World War I flying helmet. And the Phil Silver's glass. It's like Brent Summers.

Oh my goodness. It's really, uh, it is a weird. thing to put in right before a boat and a car chase. Had no point. It's a weird, smoky and the bandit moment, too, and she's like, holy shit. Yes. Yeah, first time with the S word, I think, in a Bond movie.

Yeah. It does feel out of place when she says. Yeah. This whole sequence, this whole New Orleans, Louisiana sequence of the plane chase and the boat chase, they just seem so, bless me, they just seem so. obligatory?

I don't know. They just don't seem necessary. Not that... Do you know what, though? I really liked the boat chase for a while. But it goes on too long. It goes on too long.

It goes on too long. Because it almost has two stages, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's a big problem. Before and after the wedding. Yeah. With the cool priest of the sunglasses. Yeah.

Oh my God. Watching Guy Hamilton direct that scene, there's a footage of him directing that scene in the, in the documentary and the way he's talking to the crowd he's just like now there's going to be a boat that's going to come through here.

General. He's like, it's going to come through here. There's going to be another one that comes around in the water. Look at whatever one you want. Pick a boat. He's like, he's like doesn't matter which. Pretend you're a person seen two boats

and then do what a person would do looking at to either one boat or the other, you may look from one boat to the other and back again. Either way, stay safe. Best of luck, chap. Right, I'll be over here.

I'll be in my director's bunker. It just screams of how he directed those movies. It's just like, no doubt. Whatever. We're all here. I'm going to see jazz later. On whose son. This guy is.

The worst. Okay. Dave W. Pepper. And I'm assuming he's dead. Well, he's in those documentaries. Looking the same. Let me look him up. This is the most

So tortured everything he says. This is the most, this is the most uncomfortable I've ever been. I hear by commandeer this vehicle, including the two people inside of it which means

you and also to the right of you that fellow right there making a duel oh my god and so there's a there's a there's a discomfort I felt in watching him

in watching him or try to arrest the the black guy and he calls him boy Oh, boy Absolutely It's so uncomfortable Just to think like

Put ten fingers on the hood boy Yeah Now why do I feel like this isn't the first time You know It's almost like the movie is saying Hey you thought we were racist This is this is what is really racist Don't forget

The South Still alive Clifton James Oh wow Clifton 1921 I'm sure you've been better in other things in Superman 2 where you played the same character Yeah, not your strong suit

Just spite evidence to the contrary Bonanza, the Virginian He only did Southern stuff The Virginian Wow Wow He's terrible Nah

He's terrible What are you, boy The Apocalypse I have a soft spot for him I don't know what it is I don't know Well probably because you were a child and didn't understand how horrible it was.

Are you making perhaps a misguided, favorable comparison to Jackie Gleason? Bufordt, yeah, probably. Who was much better. Yeah. He's brilliant. Exceedingly so. Okay, so boat chase goes on far too long, which is, I think, a problem of a lot of those J-Zvon movies of the era. And movies today.

Yeah. I think there's a lot of action sequences that are like, I understand how much money you're spending. me, yeah, you're, it's like, only in the movies. Can you see this sort of action? It's like, this should be over by now. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why I really love watching, are you just drawing Ian Fleming?

What are you doing? Just doodling. What was I saying about movies? Oh, actually, the, but the things, the James Bond movies, especially the early ones, we talked about this a bit on the Dr. No episode, but they're just sort of like these wonderful, let's go to a travel log situation of like, let's really, let's really look at this place. and that's fine and it's wonderful that it's there

and if you're really in the mood you can watch it but being on Blu-ray and being able to fast forward through some of this stuff is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Did you fast forward while you were watching? I did a little bit through the boat Chase. I did not.

I felt like it was a little excessive. If anything, I slowed it down. That's your best friend. If you watch Thunderball though, that's your best friend. Fast-forwarding through Thunderball. Oh, that movie. So, okay, so at this point, James is in the boat. The boat chase happens, but then he gets captured again.

Oh, wait, did we, I'm sorry. Where, when did Kananga confront Solitaire when he realizes she's been despoiled? Is that about to happen or has that happened already? I'm looking at the timeline of my notes. Because there's one line of dialogue. Did they catch them in the poppy? Oh, it happens right there. Okay.

It happens here. Great, okay. It happens right here because once they get split up, she gets captured, and that's when the questioning is happening. Right. Because she gets questioned, and then separately they both get questioned in a separate scene. So, yes. Here we are. He's got James Bond's watch.

He's got James Bond's watch. Oh, this is at the allegation number. Yeah. What's the registration number on the watch? And she bluffs it. Yep. She gets it wrong. And then he says the craziest line of dialogue I've ever heard.

I gave you a 50-50 chance and you weren't even close. It's true. That was your criteria. It's true. I can only be. Well, yeah, if I got the one wrong thing, then I guess I was not even close. I was both extremely close and not close at all. I love but a hook.

Butterhook is still That's still a great life I mean it's a flat out joke Yeah That is a flat out joke Yeah Butter hook Yeah

So how does he get out of this one He goes Oh they take him out to Okay They take him out to the alligators To the gators Yeah Now he's there

If you do have a chance To watch the inside Live and Let Die document Please do It's amazing because Which one is Tee I'm sorry He's the hook hand.

Why is he called Teehee? I don't know. That's what he's called. That's what he's called in the novel. Oh, I just assumed he had some hooky name that I missed. Tee-he. Yeah. Also, the hook is not in the novel.

They all have these whimsical names. Yeah, I don't know if it is. No, the hook is not in the novel. I can't remember. I'm sorry, but please. But I pray continue. So this guy, Ross Cananga, owns this alligator farm, and he does the stunt where Bonn jumps across those alligators, but they show the four takes before that that he fails on and falls in. in and it's amazing.

Oh my God. Yeah, it's really worth watching. But he's not, he does not jump over these alligators. He fucking steps on alligators. Yeah, they're tied down, but only in the middle so they can... They're real alligators? That's a real stunt. Oh, my God.

There's four or five alternate tapes. I love it even more now. Where he falls in and you see him falling in and just scurried to get away. There's one, there's one where a gator gets his pant leg. Yeah. And like his, the gator tooth is like stuck on the billowy bell bottom pants. I can bring that. Billy with Bill bottoms.

You all got the wheeled bill bottoms. That sequence is great. Alligators, crocodiles are terrifying. And that the whole like the one creeping up on him on that

little stone island and him throwing the chicken and all that, it's so good. It's still, it's absolutely terrific today. Here we are. We're not going to watch this thing that doesn't have too much sound. Oh shit. Oh, these are the takes where he blows it?

Yeah. There's no sound, but we're showing Paul. Oh, no, I don't even like seeing that. I don't even like seeing that. Wait for his leg. Waiper his leg to get cut. It gives me the frillies. He's just...

Oh, that gator's going crazy, too. Like, I want to get at it! They all remind me in my cat. He'd to get out of the tub. That's the one. Oh, go! Yeah, YouTube. Yeah.

It's pant leg. If you guys have a computer or an iPad or an iPhone or a tablet device, check it out on YouTube. If you have a Samsung Galaxy. If you have a Starbucks Orange Valencia refresher, check it out. That's the drink of choice for the Manda Lex Bats. The man who likes baths? The man who likes baths, a Starbucks, Orange Valencia refresher. What's the Orange Valencia refresher?

Is it like a milkshake? I thought he was pulling my leg when I asked him, what do you want from Starbucks? I'm going to run over to Starbucks. And he said an orange refresher Valencia. And I was like, ha. Wrong order. It does sound like a thing you would make up, to be fair. Very funny.

Maybe I did. Very funny, Matt Gourley. Maybe I did. You willed it into being, like Billy Moomy in that Twilight Zone. Okay, so the gator farm is before the boat chase, by the way. We flipped that in our, because that's where he steals the boat. We all did it. That's right.

He set to fire. Yep. He set the fire again, yes. He, okay, so he leads the gators. Like a trail of chicken parts. To their death. To go into the thing and then such a fire? Why?

That's correct. That's correct. Why? Scared the people? Yeah, he's going to kill the... I don't know. It's like one or the other. You know what I mean?

So he wants to burn down the lab, right? Yes. But does he not want to kill the people? This is James Bond being magnanimous? Maybe. Maybe. No reason you should die. They're just heroin refiner.

They shouldn't. Yes. No harm should come to us Crows, fair You gave me a chance To escape from the alligators Okay, so now At this point

Okay Then he heads to Jamaica, right? He heads to Jamaica To save Solitaire Yes, but he's also Going to take down Kananga To take down Cana

Okay Let's talk about this now Okay, let's get in it This is a part That as a child I was always so confused by And it turns out as an adult. Yeah.

I'm still confused by it. The, what's his face? The guy that is not Teehee, who's name I keep, not whisper. Baron Samede? Yes, Baron Samede, okay. Who's based on a, is a real voodoo figure, Baron Samede. And a great golden eye character.

Very true. In the video. Very true. You should really get on that game. Yeah. Man, little sidebars. Do not lose your place. Remember what we're talking about?

The last episode, You guys talking about the Golden Eye video game, I wanted to play it so badly. I wanted to play it so badly. And may I indulge in a quick story? Yes, please, please. When we were working on Mr. Show, way back when, that game had just come out.

And we were in this new, we had this new green room set up from when we were recording the episodes where we had this bungalow on the lot. And we brought in Golden Eye, because there was this big screen TV in there. And so while we were waiting, to be called to set, we would play the game.

Everybody was playing it. Everybody was playing it. And the season was split into two halves. And so the first half, we had our regular crew. And the second half, we had different people who were the stage managers and everything. So these new people who didn't know us would come to the bungalow to call us to set. And we were like kids. We were like, yeah, I'm coming.

And we were playing this game. They hated us. They hated us. And I felt so bad. Like, no, if you knew us, we'll, like, of course we'll be there on time, because we know that we'll get there and then we'll just end waiting around. We're playing this game and like, we'll be fine. We'll be fine. Because we've been doing this for years. They hated us.

We could not stop playing that game. Who was the best? Oh, me. Yeah. Really? I would say me and Jay Johnston were probably the best. We should have a thing, because I've only played it once. We should play it because I also got this.

I have it. I have it. I have it. Do you really? They made a bad version apparently for another... They made the new Golden Eye revisited. I'm just saying...

I wanted it so bad and then I read the reviews and everybody hated it. They just hate it. Here's why they hate it. They just hate it because... They just hate it because it's not quite what they remember and the nostalgia factor. It's the same...

It really is the same sort of gaming map. Beautifully updated. And I honestly, I find it enjoyable. We should do both. I find it enjoyable. We can do both. We can do both. Side-by-Zic comparison.

I know. Tast test. We'll do it. We'll do it at your place, but if you want, we could do it at my place because I got this remote. One button will turn on my game system. Go take a bath. Home theater and start running a bath. One button.

Oh, my God. Well, I mean, sure, sure. Oh, and also the last time I played that game, I think, was on mushrooms at a Halloween party. It was me and my friend. A lot of layers of bad ideas. Oh, it started out great. It was so, we were playing. It was multiplayer games.

Me and my friend Ken Daley. one other person and Bill Odinkirk We're all playing at this party And me and Ken are on mushrooms And maybe the third person was on mushrooms I can't remember who it was And Bill Odenkirk Of course it had been that the third person was

Just hallucinated wasn't even there No Oh possible No I remember force screen But we're playing and it's it's So it's multiplayer We're playing against each other And you know sometimes the music would get

Really speedy and silly And Ken and I started laughing Like we thought it all of a sudden, at the same time, it became the most hilarious thing. And we were dying, laughing, playing this game. And then Bill Odenkirk says, I don't see what's so funny. And then immediate bad trip. Oh, no.

It all turned inside out like, oh, why are we playing this? This is horrible. I don't want to shoot anybody. And you got old? Yeah, I got old. I aged like 50 years. So after we recorded that Golden Eye podcast, Craig, who's been staying with me because he lives in New York, but he's out here writing at midnight. He was like, oh, do you have the Golden Eye thing?

I'd like to play it. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And I fired up the Xbox version, the new updated version. And I went to go do something in the kitchen. And I just hear him terrified. Like, he's the kind of guy who plays video games and gets so scared. He takes it on. He just goes, oh, no.

Doc, come on. I get that. The whole time. It is the funniest thing. I get that way a little bit. I just want to, like, record him unknowingly while he's playing the game. It's so funny. He gets genuinely terrified.

He says that. He says the words, oh, no. The humanity. What kind of God? Tense. You bought me that infinite shock. Mildo shock infinite. And I love it, but when you're on that Skyhook thing,

I get that same feeling. get when I'm on top of a building, you know, the height thing. I almost get that, too. The skyhook, the timing of it, I'm not good. It always makes me nervous. That game, I still have it unopened. I have not played it. It's so much fun, Matt. We'll play that too. Yeah. Let's really make this happen.

We'll run a bat. I want to play that goal. We'll run a path, and we'll do it. Hey, we'll get those Seattleist tubs. We'll all be in our own bathtub. I would absolutely do that, those copper football bathtubs. the only person who looks at that commercial and says this is a great idea. What's the problem? It makes sense to me. Yeah.

You're the only person to him that commercial makes sense. Guys, I'm not going to lie, but the three of us in separate bathtubs outside with like a projected screen of Golden Eye, that can't be a bad idea. No. A couple of It's only impossible. You got a Starbucks orange Valencia refresher by your side. You're wet

too far. You're doing well. You're wet too far. All right. So he goes to the island. He's wearing all black turtleneck. He's looking not like Bonn, but pretty awesome. Looks pretty cool. He's got a 44 magnum, which has to be copying the dirty hairy craze. But by the way, this look, there's a couple of times in Archer where they put this exact

outfit on him and the exact gun, and it just cracks me up. I love the look. It's a great look. It's a great secret agent spy look. Now, back to what terrified me as a child. I was so confused by the concept of this real-looking human being getting blown apart. Yeah. And turning to porcelain.

by a magnum. Totally forgot that. But the eyes move. The eyes move. And it just scared the shit out of me. It is a hell of an effect because the eyes look real. Yeah. The one thing that's disappointing about this whole sequence is that now seeing it as an adult, it's so clearly a set.

Yeah. And when I was a kid, it was very like, where are they? But now you look at it. It's like, this might have been. It might have been. Where's the bamboo? By the way, okay. Pettie cab.

What did you say? Where's the bamboo paddy cab? You know that catchphrase. And the bicycle powered laundry. Where's the band-or? Let's just put that in our list of well-known catchphrases along with shares a hairbrush. That's right. So.

This is the casket of snakes that we see again. Yes. I'm sorry, it's a coffin of snakes. It's not a casket. The shape, right? Yeah, a coffin is the contoured, coffin is the one that's angular. Yes, yes, yes.

And then a casket is the square thing we're used to. Yeah. It's a little funeral home knowledge for you. Thank you. Which one's a meteorite? That is what's coming in the atmosphere. No, that's what is on the ground. It's a vegeta mite grow from the top.

Okay. Delacite's better hang on tighter. Nope. That's a, like, might reach the ceiling if it grows up. I think of Nutella. I see. Okay. So.

Lay takes an object. The coffin full of snakes is there. You'd think the way this gentleman has been built up. You know, everyone's sort of terrified of him. He seems to have some sort of mystical abilities. He has porcelain copies of himself. They say he never dies. Never dies.

Can't die. They say he never dies. That guy in the little, like, what reminded me of what they used to have at the Disneyland Hotel. Do you ever be in the 70s? That was a scene from the Polynesian resort. Like, it might as well have been. Just welcome to our Lua.

I love that guy. Berens somebody. I love that. Now, of course, for our purposes, he's just here to dance. Yes. But so you'd think this, this to me, this was the fight that I was anticipating. Yeah. As a kid even, I was like, this is going to be a crazy great fight.

And it's not. You get, this is unique because you get the very, villain dead and you still have two henchmen alive at the end one to fight which isn't uncommon but then another one at the front of the train what now what does that does that tell you what is that what is that what are we supposed to take away from that I think it's just they wanted to do what they wanted to do a winky winky there's anything special I really didn't like that I didn't like it either I really I didn't like the fight with him is over way too quickly um

uh but the thing at the end with Barrett Smeddy on the front of the train is just like it's a great cut into the skull in the flaming skull but it's just like what are you telling us with that button what are you trying

yeah yeah yeah it's too far yeah it's too far it's one step too far he's hanging out of the front of this and it's also that train it's like a locomotive like from you know butch Cassidy or something also is he stoned away or did he have a ticket that's a good question he could have been in the

bag next to Tehee. Yeah. We're about to... We're a little bit of far ahead of ourselves. We're about to visit one of, I think, all three of our favorite moments in the history of James Bond. The worst James Bond death

in history, is that we're talking about? No, I would say it's the best. I think it's the worst and the best. Yeah. Yeah. But before we get to that... That's why we had you on. Yafat Koto's knife fighting style

is amazing where he's doing... Yaffa Koto... But he looks... Yeah, but that makes him... somehow seem more terrifying with a night. Yeah, I love it. Absolutely. I love it.

Yeah, it's terrific. Amazing. He's great. Yalfa Koto's great. Yeah, he's great. He's very good. He's very good in this. And also, so this is again another instance of us seeing a James Bond gadget that was

never explained to us by Q. No. Or, I mean, really up until that point hasn't really been that well described. It's a gun. Deus X-Sex Machina. It's a gun that shoots a canister of compressed gas. a, we'll say one cubic inch. Why not?

Yeah, sure. Whoa, boy, that's right. I've thought about that how much could come out of that little thing. So, and why is that how you kill sharks? Why not just an explosive bullet? What's unique about sharks that you need to blow them up like a balloon? I don't know. I guess if you shoot them with a bullet, it's not fast enough.

That with a bullet, they'll still. Yeah. They'll be like, no problem. I can still chomp down on you. Because, I mean, Quint stabbed him a lot. That's true. And he still... That's true.

And that shark was shot several times. Yes. Many times. Yeah. And he went under with three barrels. Not with three. We should do a Jaws podcast. It's already to take care of it.

So the... This gas canister, he explains what it does. And Cananga, in... His infinite wisdom decides, I'm going to try this out. So he... I've got to see what this will be. He shoots it towards Whisper.

Whisper thinks, oh, my God, is this guy going to kill me? Which I liked because Whisper... Whisper going like, oh, this guy's going to shoot me. Makes me think that Cananga is even more crazy, terrifying bad guy than we previously thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That it would just kill his own head for him. But he shoots it at the leather couch. And then...

The leather couch. The leather couch. Couch blows up like a bouncy house. Just like a bouncy house. Just like a bouncy house. It pushes Whisper to the ground, launches him into the air. Yeah. It's amazing.

Yeah. Like that this leather couch then just turns into a balloon. Was that elastic? Oh, my God. I love it. So at this point, we're like, these things are pretty dangerous. If it can do that to a leather couch, what could it? I'm drawing a conclusion.

If it could do that to a leather couch, you would not want to get shot at it. Not at all. I don't see where you guys are going. What I'm saying is, Matt, you do well to get shot with anything else. I mean, Whisper himself was so close to being shot by this thing. By the grace of Cananga. The couch is shot instead. Can you imagine?

Yeah, but the odds of someone gets... Well, how's anybody... No, the odds of someone getting shot by that. You're probably right. I pray that you are. I have to imagine, by the way, they made two Cananga balloons and only used one of them. So somewhere out there is an uninflated cananga.

I don't think they did because... It's every Thanksgiving. Oh, God. Wouldn't that be great that Macy's Thanksgiving? It was the very last float. The Cananga balloon. But it's only the size of that. Yes.

No, the kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yes. And then Cananga. She didn't float, though. She was dense. But still. She turned into a blueberry. And she still had normal size hands.

Someone else blows up. in something too I don't know I'm sure I'm sure oh god so James is tied up along with

the along with Solitaire they're tied up over a tank full of sharks Cananga cuts him cananga cuts him case the sharks don't get the idea

they don't know it's feeding time he's gonna let them know this is when now the watch gadget tree just goes full bananas yeah magnetic watch

yeah the magnetic watch that is also a circular saw. And tells time. I forgot that it was also a saw. He's basically R2D2 at this point. He really is. Whatever he needs, at some point he will shoot a lightsaber out of it. Y'all limit A2D2s.

Yo! Hey! Y'all limit it on R2D2s! Hmm. What was that from originally? Sketchfest. Yeah, but... We were backstage.

But I thought when you did it the first time, like, oh, that's got to be from something. No, it was just you guys were doing that. You guys were doing that. I thought the character that would be delighted by it. Can I come in? You guys do an R2D2? Hey, y'all let me take on R2T2s. I heard from out there you were.

All right. Okay. All right, so you're like, how are they going to get out of this? How are they going to get out of the situation? Well, we've already established this watch. It's a very powerful magnet. Yeah, it takes off women's clothing. And it takes the only, apparently the only metal object in this room full of metal objects.

Right. In an entirely stainless steel compound. Certainly not the knife that Canang is about to use. That would come streaming at him. No, no, no. Not even a little. He takes the most dangerous projectile known to man, shoots it at his wrist, and then takes it and puts it in his mouth,

which I think is a terrible. idea. Absolutely. Terrible idea. Absolutely. So then he turns the saw blade on, cuts out of that, and he's good to go. He swings at Whisper, knocks Whisper into a tiny rocket. Poor Whisper.

By the way, I just want to say, I love that the idea of a villain layer with a monorail is often explored. Yeah. He puts Whisper in that rocket, and then we never see Whisper again. Whisper doesn't die, presumably. No, Whispers is in the rocket. He should have been sitting on the front of that train. Oh, that would have been, that would have been great.

Just quietly laughing. Choo-choo-choo. He finally can talk normally. Pardon to me, bars, the chat of no, could you, too. Your whisper is very, very similar to your Peter, what's his name? Fuck, the director of Dr. Nau. Oh, no, Lawrence Gilbert from the director of. Yes, Lars Gilbert, yes.

Very, very important that we have a quiet, Is that what that guy sounds like? He's English, you know, but he can't say is ours. When we were doing moonweiko. He's adorable. He's adorable. He really is. He really is adorable.

James Vaughn then swings off of this thing. Yeah, kicks him, knocks him into the rocket ship. Then he's got a deal with Cananga. Then we see that knife fight situation. And then they take it into the water. They take it into the water. You're like, oh my God, there's sharks in there. Something bad is going to happen to somebody.

And something bad certainly does happen to Cananga. Because James somehow removes the capsule from his mouth, sets it off in Cananga. Yeah. What is he, did he put it in his mouth? Yeah, how does it happen? I guess. I guess. He'll swallow this.

Now you're underwater, so you're probably not going to want to open your mouth to let the air out. is that really what it is right i mean it has to be there's no reason it really this whole sequence once they get to that place just seems so hurriedly

thrown together like he gets it in his mouth and he blows up turns out we spent our entire budget on this boat chase and this balloon you want to wrap this up quick how does you get free

there's a saw on the watch look what do you want for me uh god yeah so then cananga blows up Like a balloon. Yeah. Just like a balloon. So I have a theory about this, that they only had one take, and it didn't look great.

So they post-production zoom in. That's why it gets so grainy because they don't want you to see the whole thing and just how horrible it looks. Plus, it's like a sped-up zoom. I would love to see some behind the scenes. There is a picture of it. Someone, did I see you? Yes, you sent that to me. Yeah, I'll try to find it.

Yeah. It's an amazing picture of the Cananga Balloon, just sitting there on the set. Cananga Balloon. That's great. great. Musical guest, Cananga Balloon. Lorraine Newman. Denitra Vance.

Lorraine Newman's going to be on my sketchfish show. Oh, really? Oh, that's great. On the Saturday, the 8th. 10 p.m. at the Eureka, yeah. It's going to be fun. That was a fun show. It was a fun show.

I got to participate in that. Oh, my goodness. He's showing me the picture. Let me see. I want to see again. You sent this to me. Yeah. It's so good.

Oh, my goodness. It's so crazy. That's insane. So crazy. Also, can I say Cananga has a very good look. He does. He does. He likes the tailoring is impeccable.

Yeah, with like the white ascot and everything, it's a very cool, stylish look. And he's sipping champagne when he does that thing a lot of bond villains do. Like, oh, you've upset me so much. But in the end, I'm just going to be great to him. Yeah. But he'd be real hospitable the way I kill him. Whisper. Two more glasses of champagne.

So we don't reason if you can't be civilized about this. I run the drug empire. I believe in voodoo. So after Cananga explodes from air. You think We've taken care of everything That's right No loose ends

Heroin Farm has been blown up We're great Everything's good Let's head to a train station Felix is there Felix asks the silliest question What are you going to do On a train for 16 hours

He knows the answer He knows the answer We're going to have sex In the most comfortable setting imaginable A cross-country train trip So this is now of course this is in the great tradition

of James Bond train fights we see James Bond train fights James Bond That clapper The The uh Thee is

has stowed himself away In a bag I feel like he could have bought a ticket All right Anyway He stowed himself away in a bag It was a different time Yeah

Sure You're right You're right He had a hook So then we get a little train fight Where we see that the hook is just Essentially just a system of police It is

And more odd is why is that Solitaire's little vanity case That she has wire cutters in there Those are not nail clippers Those are straight up And she's got a couple of them Yeah, yeah Right

Just in case But it is like a petite little quilted suitcase With little spots for wire cutters It's a pretty great fight And the The snipping of those wires is pretty Great Yeah

But Exactly Why are they there? Why are they so close at hand? Well aren't they there because they're supposedly connected to his muscles? No, no, no, no. The wire cutters

The vanity case is full of wirecutters Yeah, yeah And also there's a cameraman in the window Did you guys catch that? No! Yeah, right before he throws him out There's just a guy back there just trying to remain still

yeah basically like I don't see me print I want to take the time to let's just I'll just be real still yeah let's like did they shoot the movie in real time

and then towards the end they're like oh guys we're almost out of time here but bond movies are batting a thousand for train fights right I mean yeah no they're great I thought the train fight was great

I like I mean I feel like because the Jaws won and Spy Who Love Me is pretty good yeah and he can't you know what I was

forgetting like I forgot that there was a train fight with Jaws and so while I'm watching the thing with Tehey I'm like oh when does he hit him with the lamp he shocks him and it never happened I was like did I make that up that's two movies after this it does seem a little soon to go back

to that especially isn't that an end fight as well no it's not never mind whoa take a bath I think I will all right he

throws Teahoe out. His arms hang in there. And then... What are you doing? Just being disarming, darling. Yeah. Really... She is unaware.

The puns are not good. She is unaware that this fight has happened. Yeah. She just thinks it was a not very funny joke, James did. She, yeah, because those... Once you close in one of those beds, which have ample room for a human being to be folded inside. They're soundproof.

They've made them soundproof. No chance of her hearing the... fight where walls are broken, glass is shattered. I think the idea was if you accidentally got shut up in one of those things it was to spare the feelings

of the person who was trapped inside. In case people were talking about them thinking they're not in the room I want to say what I really feel about solitaire. Well there was a big campaign in the 70s of don't go and abandon refrigerators or train car beds. That's right. Trey car bits.

Yeah, so then I guess they live happily ever after Well, until he never talks to her again Yeah At hour 17 This is the second novel So he's still getting over Vesper in this book Is it really?

I didn't realize that And yeah The other Nothing And worth that's it It's about It's about Soviet pirate gold In the novel

That's what Mr. Bigg is smuggling Wow It's not drugs so much I if I remember correctly. Soviet pirate one or the other. Something. He's working with the Soviets.

I need some sort of an object for them. What am I writing on? Oh, a gold typewriter. Let's put it in the hands of the Soviet pirates. Did he start off with the gold typewriter? No, no. He got big and then he was like, yeah. He got big and then he changed.

Canang a balloon big? We did it, guys. Live and let die. We, Roger, we're in the, we're soundly in the Roger Moore. We're approaching it from both sides. We got a couple of dollars. We'll get a couple of Dalton's to get through.

We'll get some Welsh. Yeah. Some Welsh. You don't like Dalton? I guess we'll find out next week. It's my least, those are my least visited movies. Oh. Well, I think you're in for a treat.

I don't know that I've seen, I think I've seen one of them. How many did he do? Two, three? Two. Wow, only two. Yeah. Living Daylights. The one with Carrie Lowell.

I saw that one. Oh, that's licensed to kill. Yeah. Don't remember a lot about it. Living Daylights is Olivia Diabo? Yeah. Yeah. L.

L. L. El. So we will try to be back next week, but, you know, it could be a week. You know what? If you expect these every other week, that's a better way. That's a better way to expect them. Plus, it prolongs it because this eventually will end, and that way we'll have more time together.

I believe that's why we agreed to do it, because it's eventually going to end. Yeah, and also if you have podcast scheduling expectations, go fuck yourself. Seriously, this is a thing that we do. Honestly, I don't know why we do it, but we do it. it and we make podcasts and they're free and we're not getting paid and this is just for you to enjoy just enjoy it don't be a dick about enjoying it take a look around the world and see the things that are worth complaining about yes and agitating what if they do and they still come back to that they will they absolutely I revisited all the problems in the world and I just came back around to

podcasts everything else checks out just fine this is just speaking to the vocal minority that we've come up against lately most of you guys are treasured lovers. Yeah. And we appreciate it. Thank you for listening. Those people are normal. Yeah.

If you're complaining about podcast frequency, I cannot say this strongly enough. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. If you've done that, this is for you. If you haven't, then keep me and you. Yeah. You're great. Keep in a wonderful.

You do you. Yeah. You do you. We do us. Paul, do anything you'd like to promote. This comes out Thursday. Um, yes, I'll be bringing a new version of my variety show to Largo at the Coronet. Excellent.

March 29th. It's called Varietopia with Paul F. Tompkins. Tickets are on sale now. And I think it might almost be sold out, actually, without me really promoting it much at all. That's great. But if you check Largo's website, you could buy some for the next month. You absolutely may. You can see all my live dates, Paul F. Tompkins.com. Forward slash live. Matthew, do anything you'd like to promote? Just really working hard on my universal remote.

So I'm thinking in a couple days, that's going to be ready to go. Oh, my God. Probably looking at six to seven baths in the next week. And maybe one to two Valencia orange refreshers per day if it's a good week. You know what? I bet you go orange Valencia crazy and you end up grounding that universal remote in the bathtub. Orange Valencia fever. If you're in San Francisco this weekend, I'll be at Sketchfest February 7th at the Merchant Marine Theater for a nerdist podcast lab.

I think that's sold out. There's still some tickets left for the Eureka Theater at 10 p.m. on Saturday. Let me say one star is a great show it is not to be missed. Thank you, Paul. It's just go ahead

and look at the description. Oh, whatever, I'll tell you. Yeah. It's dramatic readings of a one star Yelp reviews from the Korea Town 24 hour fitness framed around a civil war theme.

Yeah. Apparently the most disgusting gym in America. Is that the most high concept show ever done? It might be because I play the ghost of Ulysses as Grant and Tom Lennon plays the ghost of an unknown Civil War soldier

who might be a reenactor. We're not sure. also there will be a live band with a period musician pieces oh really oh my god and it's going to be a lot of fun Lorraine Newman's going to be there Larry Nelson Jonah Ray Ben Grette it's going to be a lot of fun please come see it Julia Lulia Drivers she won't be there musical guest of fiddle guy with a short film by Vladimir Putin Katie, do you think that this is officially longer than the movie was?

Because the movie was two hours long. It's always long with me. I apologize. Nice. Oh, good. Hey, hit play and watch the movie. There you go. We're back.

James Bonding will return in. License. You've got a license to kill. Boom, boom. And I don't remember straight to my heart. What is the line? I don't even remember the song. That's how infrequently I've watched.

that movie. This shouldn't still be going on. Yeah, I really should stop. I got to go talk over the Super Bowl for five hours. Ear dynamite. Now leaving nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure, To defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sound like a fancy college professor. Fake nuts.

Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed. But Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again.

Uh, yes. I have killed. Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middle Ditch. Jesus, I mean Jarzos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, A Flof from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or

wherever you get your podcasts.