James Bonding - Mission Briefing

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

A special mission briefing about James Bonding from the Matts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering Nerdist.com That one feels very skyfall, just that Well, it's such a symphony. This is the recording of the London Symphony Orchestra playing the James Bond theme. Oh, look at that. Listen to that guitar.

That's Vic Flick. I don't know if that's Vic Flick. But that's somebody playing with the London Symphony Orchestra. So that original Bond theme, have we talked about this, recorded on an acoustic guitar. Yeah. You think it's electric.

Yeah. It's that guitar, I believe. believe is sitting in the something, sitting in some museum. I saw a picture of it. I met Vic Flick once and this was like a year ago and he he was playing it on the original. Whoa.

That's pretty sweet. Just me and him in Cabo San Lucas. This is a special edition of James Bonding. Oh, there it is. We're going to be back with a real episode very soon. But you know what, this is real too. It's real to us.

Well, you know what this is? This is the Never Say Never Unofficial episode of the James Bonding podcast. This is the Kevin McClory sanction, because we're going to talk about him. Yeah, of course. And this is going to be tied up

with rights issues for years. This episode, we'll never get it back. For 50 years. 51 years. It's going to be insane. And why not? We might have Spector in this? I don't know.

It's going to be that Katie sues us for having some sort of rights to this. But this version, I've had this version sitting on my phone for a long, long time. And I have no idea where it came from. And it might not even be the London Symphony Orchestra, because this is like the early days of Napster that I downloaded this. Oh, wow.

And it was just labeled as the London Symphony Orchestra version of the James Bond theme. So I said, I'll download that. It's great. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm eating. I've had the most hectic day. I think we've both had pretty hectic days.

I am just ready to collapse. Just finished a run on at midnight. You're looking good. Thank you. I have to say. Thank you very much. I'm getting smaller as my ego grows. Congratulations on at midnight as well.

Thank you very much. Huge pickup. 40 fucking weeks. It's a year of work without having to look for it again. That's great. Unless I fuck up so badly, they fire me. Well, that's what I'm hearing on the streets. Yeah, real close.

Yeah, I'll get there. Oh, there it is. What is that? It's a nice way to settle that down. E ninth suspended cord or something It's some crazy Is it a suss? Yeah guys, welcome to our

We figured hey, we're almost halfway through this Are we? I don't know, how far in are we? I think we're a third. Are we're kidding me? We're a third of the way? No, I guess you're right. Yeah.

We're five in and five in. We're closer to a third. We're six in. We're 11 in. Are we? Yeah. What? Yeah.

We're 11 bonds in. We are in the middle. Wow. We were literally in the middle. Where did all the time go? Well, I don't know. We just had so much fun. We have all the time in the world.

That's an episode we'll be doing very shortly with Paul Shear. And we were going to record it, but it turned out the Midnight Rap Party was the same night as our scheduled recording. And there's one thing I like doing. It's bailing out on two guys that are ready to do a podcast. Yeah, actually, that really sums up my life. Fair enough. When I'm not doing a podcast with two guys, I'm bailing out on a podcast with two guys. But yeah, we're going to sort of, we've got some, there's some James Bond in the news lately.

There's some stuff we just thought, hey, let's talk to the audience about it. We're going to answer some questions. We're going to maybe recap, do a state of the union of the James Bonding podcast. Sort of figure where we're at. You can tell us if we're doing things wrong, which I'm sure you think we are. You don't know. It's going to be good stuff. and then, you know, no questions, please about Allie and Georgia.

Thank you. Cool, we're getting questions. Awesome. Yeah, lots, lots. So, should we start with some of our own news items? What do you want to start with? Some of our own news items. Not our own news items, but just talking on our own.

What's going on? Yeah. Two things in the news right now, right? First of all, today, this very day, it was announced. This is an emergency podcast. Yes, we, I saw the signal in the sky, and I drove right here. Matt I never even spoke. We just did it.

We just knew to arrive. We were drawn to the center of the... We were drawn to the studio. Mm-hmm. And we wasn't until we got here that we found out why we were drawn here. Yes. So MGM, Eon, and Dan Jack officially no longer have to be beholden to Kevin McClory in his estate in any way. We fucking did it, everybody.

Yeah, I mean, you and me, really. Now, what does that mean to the layman James Bond fan? Well, it's kind of a big... deal because a little organization we know of as Specter can come back can come back Blofeld can come back I hope that's what that means oh it's exactly what it means dream casting Blofeld right now dream casting Blofeld Ernest Stavros Blofeld Philip Seymour Hoffman oh interesting yeah I just did it wow I kind of just rocked your world with that casting did you I don't know Who do you think?

Same question myself. Same question to you, Matt. Who are my favorite actors right now? Who do you think could pull off a menacing, elegant? Well, this is probably a really obvious one, and I'm not even going to say this is my answer, but Daniel Day Lewis would be an interesting bond. Holy shit, Dale Lewis would be great.

That's not my answer. Ooh, I just thought of another one. What? Kelsey Grammer? Not bad. Not bad. I'll always say, Not bad.

I even enjoyed him as beast. Brian Cranston. Oh, let's do it. Just because we know him as a bald man. Yes. Well, my brain went to bald and then that's where I ended up. It's Lechler or Blofeld? Oh, God, he's going to be great if he actually is Lex Luthor.

Do we know if that's happening? I don't know. Wasn't that just a rumor? Did we talk about that? I don't know. Do we check with sources? I feel like there's also someone I'm thinking of, And I can't remember who.

Holy shit, we're getting a lot of questions. Yeah, I know. Good. We're going to not be starred for content. This is going to be maybe a full-length episode for you assholes. Yeah. And thanks for tweeting or emailing us questions. We'll get to as many as we can.

Yeah, we appreciate it. I mean, I appreciate it more than Matt, but that's just, that's just, I mean, that's just, goes without saying. It goes without saying. Since both of us are named Matt, you don't even know. I know. I know who's voice is what. Yeah. Am I Matt Gorely?

You don't know. Am I Matt Myra. I could be Matt Goreley. Yeah. Do you want to be here? Oh. I would love to be Matt Gourley. That sounds fun here.

Yeah, I'd live a day in your shoes. What size do you wear? 11 and a half? Oh, bigger than me. Yeah. Well, you know, honestly, since I've lost the weight, it might be down to an 11. Really? Is it with?

Yeah, it seems like it. That's probably the problem. I'm a 10. Oh, I'll say. Yeah. Got a nice mustard sweater on. I sure do. Yeah.

Man and I are just going to talk about how each other look right now. Yeah, Matt, he's got this. come from the gym, but really kind of rugged, good-looking thing going on. He's in a baseball jersey. He's got a certain luster about him. Really is nice. Devil make hair. Probably the worst hair you've ever seen me with?

No, it looks good. I'm a mess right now. I haven't showered once today. We both have beards. Actually, I haven't either. Yeah. It's a rare treat. I'm worried that I'm not going to have time to, and I have a dinner thing I have to go.

What's your, where you're going to dinner? Let's talk about that. Son of a gun. Oh, nice. Is that where we're going? Third treat. Son of a gun. You know what?

I may be wrong. All I know is they have these biscuits that'll just put a... What popular improvisational comedian are you going with? I am not. I'm going with my girlfriend's friend. Oh, well, my girlfriend's, one of her best friends is having a birthday party. Oh, that sounds fun. At son of a gun?

Yeah, and her name is Sarah Silverman. She does well for her, so. I was going to say Sarah's birthday party already happened, but yeah. That's nice. That's impressive. Yeah. You're hanging out with some... company over there. Well, we'll see. I don't even know

if this is what we're going, to be honest. I could be wrong. If you listen to this podcast, go to Son of a Gun. Find out if... We did go there. Amanda and I went there. It is amazing. Is that the place... It is a place on 3rd where you can sit at a long table and you're next to people in European style. So that's not where we're going tonight. Okay, don't worry

about it then. Forget it. So that's A, that's the big... That's one big chunk of James Bond news. Okay? Another interesting tidbit that came out on the internet this week. And I'd like to give credit to the gentleman that watched Skyfall

more than us. Yeah. For better or for worse. Skyfall. I'm typing it in right now just so I can give proper credit. But this gentleman supposes that M

perhaps was the adopted mother of Silva. Yes. And this is borne out in his explanation by the fact that think on your sins, Silva's message to M is an anagram for your son isn't in HK. Which is Hong Kong.

I, which just bolsters my argument that they're saying, mom. Oh, oh, this, so this comes up as well. We can deal with this issue because did you, have you watched Honor Majesty Secret Service again yet for this? No, not yet. I watched it last night. Uh-huh. And at one point, I forgot about this.

He takes a drink and he salutes a picture of Elizabeth the second. Yes. And he goes, mum, but it's like right in the middle, like, mum. And it almost makes it worse. So where do you fall on this theory? I read the article. I wish I would have read it more. I probably have a few questions.

Yeah. Where do I fall on this theory? It's an interesting theory. Without proof, I'm not really fine in it. The only proof we have is that it's an anagram. There's some lines of dialogue. She says that this gentleman that wrote the article supports the theory that Silva is M's adopted. What are those lines?

of dial-offs. Orphans make the best recruits. Yeah, but that's really just referred to... Especially from Casino Real. So I think you can take that. Okay, we're taking it off the table, no problem. The fact that Silva is

constantly referring to her as mother? Yeah, but mostly in context to James Bond, like Mommy was very bad. What if she adopts all the double elections? That'd be awesome. And they don't even know it. She just gets their life insurance policy.

She's thrown in a big scam. But no, I mean, it's an interesting theory. I like looking at things like that. I do, too. I think the guy is fascinating. I really like the article. I just don't think without... He does, does he seem to mention that there's some deleted scene that he thinks would explain it?

But does he have proof of that? Oh, I don't remember reading that. I don't know. I don't... I don't know. I saw somebody I thought I recognized, and it turns out I didn't. But anyway. So, I mean, I'm interested.

to what the audience thinks of that situation. Sure? Yeah, see, I'm a big riddles and anagram and little hidden messages. You're actually the person that came up with the minotaur theory for the Shining. Have you seen? Yeah. That's actually you. And I find it to be, if it was a really distinct anagram, like your son isn't in Hong Kong.

Yeah, Hong Kong, sure, yeah. But, I don't know. In fact, you keep talking about the idea. Think on your sins. I think what that's going to do, if I know my other half as well as I think I do, he's going to go ahead and find some new anagrams, and we're going to go ahead and think about other explanations for this situation. He's got an envelope.

He's ready to do this. In the meantime, I'm going to go ahead and answer our first question. This comes to us from at solid currency on the tweets and he asks if you were casting the next bond film who would you pick for Bond girl and primary villain?

Well we kind of already accidentally stumbled into that situation I'd like a Blowfeld and I'd like him to be played by Brian Cranston or Phillipsy Moore Hoffman. Now Matt says Daniel Day Lewis but I feel like he's too method and do you feel like he would do that commercial of a movie?

maybe this bond would be the crossover because of Sam Mendez. He could. It's interesting. And as far as the Bond Girl, they always find these exotic beauties who I've never seen before with English. That is not the best. And because of that, I feel like you can never sort of hammer down who you think would be a good Bond Girl.

But I'm going to throw this out there, and everyone's probably going to be like, that's the dumbest idea of the world. But much in the same way of my favorite Bond Girl, my favorite unofficial Bond Girl from the ice skater from For Your Eyes Only, what's her name? Holly. Holly something?

Is it? Anyway, but I would like a similar type of character in the James Bond movie, played by Taylor Swift. Oh. Repulsed by that, repulsed by the idea. Listen, I don't think this. I think this anagram, just by the fact that it's got to have HK and not Hong Kong in there,

is a stretch. But that's what you call HK. Although, hell's kitchen. Maybe it's your son is not in Hell's Kitchen. Maybe her son was a contestant on Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen. And he was telling her that her son was no longer in the contest, that he lost. He was eliminated. it.

Hey, this comes from Mr. De Davis. He says, hey, at Matt Mara, at James Bond, at Matt Goreley, what movie has your favorite James Bond theme song? Now, this is something we sort of have touched on. But I feel like the best theme song, and this came on in my car today, and I said, yeah, this is probably it, is Paul McCartney's Live and Let Die. Hmm And the only thing that I think can come close to it

As far as melodically, beautifully written music Is the spy who love me I'm gonna have to say my favorite is on Hermagogy Secret Service I know it's instrumental But I think it's amazing I don't care for this opinion Why? Well, you gotta pick if it's a Bond

You gotta pick a Bond song Then I'm gonna have a really Unpopular answer Oh boy, I love it already What is it? I almost think we should save this for an all-music episode, but we'll tease it a little bit. I love the man with the golden. So if any of you out there, many of you...

Who's that? Lou Lulu, yeah. Many of you probably out there weren't familiar with me or my work before this James Bond podcast. And I come from an improv character sketch podcast called Super Ego, and I do the editing. And our theme song is that... from Man with the Golden Gun for our season three. Season two was Honor Magistice's Secret Service. Bam, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, and season one was, well, didn't have any bond music, so don't even listen. Just want to, let's give the good people a taste of the man with the golden gun.

Which starts off with, he's got a powerful weapon. The lyrics are awful. The lyrics are, he comes whenever he's. kills worse than you are leading the people to believe if you've never heard of them i mean i i wonder if there are people out there and maybe you can answer this uh people out there who didn't watch james bond until they started listening to this podcast there are some i've seen on twitter that there are some and i well here's the thing i wonder if those people are waiting for us like are watching them with us which is pretty fucking cool yeah uh man with the golden gun here we go pulling it up

It just comes right in and that brass. It is... People hate this one, though. I'm gonna... I don't know if this is a trailer I'm clicking on. I've got it already. I've got all the songs. Maybe we should switch it to me.

Great. Done. Okay. We're switching. So in the meantime, someone asked a question, where did I get all those alternate bond songs that... Where can you buy them, that sort of thing? I have to tell you, they're almost all available on YouTube,

and I just ripped them from... So I don't know if they're available necessarily, but a lot of them are. And I think actually someone on one of the episodes did a place where you can get most of them. All right. Here we go. It's funny, as you've said it now, as I'm thinking about the theme song, it's really fun. Really 70s. How loud is this going to be?

There's a hell of a brass section. I know. It's amazing. But, and also the thumb thing, the, the, oh, and there's a waff. There's a, yeah, there's a waf pedal happening on the guitar. This is the most 70s James Bond song, right? Yeah. This is the dot, like the moonraker of theme songs,

and that it goes so far the pendulum swing to the ridiculous. Yeah, but I love it for that reason. She goes from Two Sir with Love to this. And then one thing I absolutely love, too, I hope I have it here. Very heavy. Very heavy on the guitar. Yeah, you don't immediately realize it. That's a good bridge. I'm telling you.

One of those descending brass blasts. Forget it. Forget it. Okay, one of these is going to be what I want. But here we go. Hold on. It's real sad, there. This is from when he's in the Scaramongas Fun House, and he goes into the Old West thing.

This is the full version of, of Man with the Gong and played in a hockey talk. I want to hit now, the next time I walked down Main Street... I thought you were going to say Walk down the aisle.

No, the next time I walked down Main Street in Disneyland, if this is, if the gentleman is instead of playing Scott Joplin, if he's playing this, I will, I will, I guess,

give him a million dollars. Yeah, just give him something. That's amazing. The, go ahead and play a little bit of Living that Die while we're at it.

Just so you could hear how much better the song I like is. What do you mean? What? No, I think also lyrically, I think it's great. You know, it does kind of lose me, though, when it does the breakdown. Do you know why? Why. Linda McCartney wrote that part.

You're talking about the reggae breakdown? She specifically wrote that section of the song. Oh, is that why it loses me? Yeah. Because, like, the first part, yeah. It is a great song. This era of Wings, too, where every song breaks into different sections that have time changes and stuff. I love it.

I love Wings. I love this movie. This is a great, great, great movie. I really like Roger Moore. I love the Roger Moore movies. And I'm kind of like, we're trying to get there. We're trying, trying, trying to get there. To live and let die.

That, oh, listen. that swell. And that's George Martin, too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. We really should do a music episode, so this is just a teaser, but we can go through every theme song. Yeah. I mean, this could be the music episode, but I'm saying. I just, I have so much more to say, because John Barry is probably my favorite musician that ever lived. Bold statement. Yeah. Now, we're going to get, in a second here, we're going to hit the part where I lose the song. It's the what does it matter to you? Yeah. Yeah,

that's Linda McCartney. Where it just goes in a direction where you're like, what the fuck is happening. Now this part, we're all on board. It's a great time. We're having a good time. I really think I've nailed it. Linda, what do you want to do? Do you want to put something in? And she shakes a tambourine. Yes, Paul. I do. I wrote a little...

Here we go. A reggae thing. Here. Look, I'm in a track suit. I just went jogging and I came in and I gave you a little musical gift. Here you go. I should have... I should take some pictures of this. So can we use it? Yeah, but back to my part here. Let's go.

There we go. And also, if you give me that for one second, I'd like to play something else with Shore. I think certainly as a child, I think, really helped me enjoy that song the most. It is a very famous cover of that song by a group that started not far from where we are right now. Over at the Viper Room and in Cantors. Tunisia's D? Guns and Roses.

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Listen to this. I love that we're comparing these two songs right now. Axel Roses. Ah. This is... This is...

Everything. Even the music sounds like it's like a cassette, warbling or something. But listen to Slash. God, damn, Slash. Great guitar player. I always think if you're going to do a cover, you've got to do something different. And this just is an inferior copy, you know?

Oh, but I feel like their reggae section is better. Let's stick it out. There's a version of this song from a live concert they did, and I encourage you to watch it on YouTube. But Axles, they're playing this song. And then right before the breakdown, Axel goes, Give me some reggae! Here we go.

Those heavier guitars does help, but yeah. That last question about the bond alternates was from Nick Lathen on Twitter. Nick, thank you for your question. You're really helping us out here. John Flagg asks, How many correction emails and tweets would you say you get every episode? Also, wire people dicks. Now, maybe I should clear this up because I was joking from,

many episodes that I get a lot of negative emails. I honestly don't mind negative or constructive criticism emails. There is just a lot of nitpicking emails. And I have to say, they've stopped. And it really, it's nice because I like any email that's like, oh, I would prefer this, but with a substantiated reason, not. You got the month of the year wrong on this. Oh, dear.

And there's a lot of great emails about people's first bond experience. Oh, I love that. Yeah, those are nice. They're all in there if you want to check them. I should probably check that email eventually. At your leisure. Eventually, I'll check that in there. But the questions have been really good, and it's much appreciated, and it's nice to correspond with you guys.

We genuinely, well, I mean, I know I am, but I'm not, I want to speak for Matt, but I'm always genuinely surprised that people listen to this. Yeah, sure. And then when I run into people, I run into people out in the world that this is what they reference. as the thing that they like that I've done. I'm getting quite a bit of that too, yeah. It's pretty interesting, and I love it. I love it.

I had a neighbor walk by, Matt Novak, if you're listening. He was a great guy. I've never known him, and he lives a few, a block or two away, and he was walking by, and I came out of my house, and he pulled off his earbuds, and he goes, hey, I'm listening to you right now on James Bonding. Oh, my God. And we had only met passing on the street a couple times.

That's amazing. I love that. Yeah, I was actually out of taping of, I was doing a warm-up at midnight. And somebody said, I love, I love you from James Bonding. I think that's what they said. The great part is that we can really claim none of this as it's just James Bond fans. Yeah, which I'm all four. That's fine.

Be a James Bond fan, but also like us. We just want to be liked, obviously. Rank 92 asks, best gadget? The best gadget. Now, people are, the easy answer for people always. I think is the Aston Martin DV5, which is inferior to the Aston Martin Vantage, just in sheer firepower.

I like the moonricker wrist rocket that he can fire with intense pulse. Yeah, with some sort of dumb. I do love it, though. I do love it, though. You know what it is? I think all of these weird sort of fun gadgets come from the Roger Moore era. Yeah. But at the end of Live and Let Die, when he kills the keychain.

He kills with the inflatable. First of all, the couch, the leather couch, blows up like a balloon. And swallows the guy. And then a human being, a human being. Yeah. Not in a Willy Wonka movie. Right. Essentially, now, if you've never seen Living a Die and you're going to get to it along with us.

I was just going to say. I just want to stress this to you. I'm not, don't want to spoil anything. But there's a lot of inflation going on. Yeah, in this movie, someone has blown up to the point where it looks exactly like when What's Her Face eats the grape in Willi Wonka. And like that round, with a little tiny arms sticking out. It's ridiculous. We'll have plenty to talk about it. Then that person literally blows apart.

So I think that's my favorite gadget, right? The shark, the shark, yeah. But the, oh God, Roger Moore. had some fucking dumb, dumb gadgets. And you know what's interesting, too, is something I like to see, and it'll be interesting for us to watch together, everybody. So as we move towards the 80s, just how 80s the gadgets get. You know what I mean?

Like in a boom box and like there's like all sorts of like very 80s, 80s gadgets. Yeah, that's right. Whereas I feel like the gadgets in the more recent movies, and I feel like the gadgets in the 60s, they sort of feel timeless. You know what I mean? Yeah, like the rebreather and the, you know, obviously the Aston Martin with the machine guns on the front. And then as we move in now, the grappling hook in the belt. Right.

That's where it's believable. Yeah. And the belt. Yeah. Not in the last movie we just watched where it comes out of the Omega C Master. Oh, boy. And just, it just somehow anchors in to steal and can lift Pierce Brosnan and Denise Richards fake boobs. Both of them have fake boobs?

Yes. Oh, I see. They both. Peck implants. He really wanted to work it out, but he couldn't do it. Noah Foss asks, how would you feel if the next Bond movie was set in the past, Mad Men's style? And I've often thought when they reboot it again, it would be nice to just go back to the 60s. Yeah.

Because then you can just do simple spy stories. Oh, that's stupid. I disagree. Really? I like that Bond has grown up with the world. You know what I mean? I like that he's evolved with the world, and I like the changes that happen. I wouldn't mind a detour.

A four movie detour? A four movie detour? Four movies is a decade. I know. No actor is going to do more than four probably or five tops anymore. Well... There'll never be another Roger Moore. Seven.

Yeah. Craig's... Well, I mean, I think it's just production now. Yeah, that's what I mean. And I'm very curious as to if the writer's strike hadn't happened, I wonder where we'd be with James Bond movies. Because I just feel like that pushed production so hard. Yeah.

And that we had to wait that much longer between contum of us. Skyfall. And now, yeah, exactly. Now we're waiting again. That's what I'm saying. Granted, we wouldn't have had Skyfall, probably. That wouldn't have happened. It would have been something else.

But I felt like the way they were going there, if that Rider Strike hadn't happened, I think it would be very, very interesting to see it. Yeah, that's true. I also rewatch Skyfall last night. You did? Yeah, instead of watching Honor Magic Secret Service. I understand.

Because I turned on the new Netflix interface on my PlayStation. There it is. And the first thing is like, and how do you not click on that? Yeah. Did you click on it immediately? Well, I'll tell you what I watched last night. What?

I saw that, and then I went right to my cue and watched everything or nothing again. Oh, nice. Good move. I often put that on in the background. Good move, Gorley. Which Bond film made you the most Dame Judy Drenched? Alex Frioli. That is the best. Yeah.

That is the best. You mean, so he's asking when we found Dame Judy Densh to be the sexiest? Or just which, I think, which Bond film, sorry. So which Bond film got you the most Dame Judy drenched? Damn Judy drenched. Now, let me ask you this, a person on Twitter who we can't really ask a question of.

Do you mean, which did I find the most sexually arousing? No, I think which movie turned, you loved it so much, it turned down and got you all just opened up. You're saying the same thing I'm saying. Okay. My answer will always be diamonds or forever. Oh, so you are... It's the sexiest movie.

I see. Oh, the sexiest movie. I think that's because, A, nip slip, right at the beginning. I'm also, I've noticed a bunch of nip slips ever since Blu-ray came along. Oh, God, yeah. Honor Magic Secret Service has not just a nip slip, but full, it's like nippleage slippage. Just, like, icy when wet. It's not even like, yeah.

Just though the nipples are made of grease. It's Ruby Bartlett, you can see everything. Right. Well, okay, here we go. Another question. Why do you think the Dalton Bond flicks are viewed as the weakest? This is from T. Jones at 1994, on Twitter at T. Jones in 1994. That's with three S's on Jones.

Are they, well, you know what, I think? I think it's just there these forgotten, it's this forgotten period. Yeah. It's a very, it's only two movies, which isn't helping anybody. I don't know. how many, I can't even count on my hands, the number of times I've been asked by people who aren't really James Bond fans who the guy was in Honor Majesty's Secret Service. Yeah. Like they just don't, they don't know, oh, they don't know George Lazenby's name.

You know what I mean? And I think that that's sort of what Timothy Dalton suffers from. He suffers from a very, because those two movies came out within two years, 87, right, and 89. Yeah, and those were a heavy competition movie years. Yeah, the 89, obviously, that was, that was. Batman. Last Crusade. Last Crusade. Lethal weapon. Ghostbusters 2.

And 87, I think. Was 87 Robocop? I don't know. I feel like, anyway, but the big heavy, you know, action years, and they tried to keep up with what was happening, and they did it way darker than they should have. And it just turned to a thing, and I think, I'm looking forward to revisiting those, because I haven't watched them since we started doing this. Was last to kill a summer release? Why do I think it was a summer release? I know living daylights wasn't. Yeah, it feels like... Because Vue to a kill was summer, too, wasn't it? Yeah, it was.

Yeah. That's right, because I saw it a bunch that summer. Yeah. Loved it. So that's why we think it was, we just think, it just suffered from it being two people, I mean, two movies and not having a, you know, huge anchor. This comes from Snap the Jap on, we know him. We know, we see him all the time.

I see him at the Cine Family when I'm over there. Sean is his actual name. He goes, Atmac, really, M.I. Who would you each, or collectively, like to see as the next Bond, how about Idriselba? I'd be up for that. You'd be up for I'd think he'd see all already. That's the problem. I love having Bond played by a 40-something actor, but you kind of have to start them younger because, like we're saying, by the time, if you want them to be in more than two movies, they've got to start a little bit younger, so you've got to let them age into the role a little bit.

Look at what we're looking at right now with Daniel Craig, who's only done three movies. but he started them in 2005, correct? Yeah, geez. Because I'd love Fastbender, too, but I think he's already... Yeah, he's already past his prime. Yeah. So as far as, like, a young actor coming up that I think could pull off James Bond

and also be British. Tom Hardy, wouldn't be bad. He's a little... A little too... A little too... Big? I'd like to see him lean up a little bit. He could lean down.

Like, he's doing the Elton John. Biotic. That's right. And he looks already leaner than he did in the thing. And if you look at him in, you know, Star Trek Nemesis written by John Logan. Sure. Interesting. You see what I'm doing here? Pulling it together for everybody. I see it. If you look at him in there, he's very slim. You know?

He plays opposite Jean-Luc Picard. What did I just see him in two where he was just a young guy? Just a little guy. Oh, Band of Brothers. He was a tiny man guy. Oh, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's good in that. Which villains this is from Dylan Scherer? Which villains plan do you think could have actually succeeded in real life or caused the most destruction

if it worked? Well, I think, okay, there's two answers to this, I think. And the answers are two movies very far apart from each other. I think the plan in you only live twice, where the guy's looking to start a world war. Yeah, destruction, sure, yeah. That's what he's looking to do. Yeah, any of those nuclear deals. Yeah.

Same with Moonwaker. Well, the nuclear thing, the Moonrager nuclear thing. Well, I guess he wants to destroy the planet. and on her majesty's Secret Service he wants to destroy every living thing or he wants he threatens to and will but yeah he's gonna make everything sterile and die

all right well that those are three big answers right there but which one would have worked well I think honestly I think it's gotta be casino royal or quantum or something no because casino rail there's no there's nothing there's no there's no real threat well I know but his plan could have worked he could have won the game

yeah he could have paid off I see what you're saying yes he could have won that hand at poker Yeah. And I think that the Tomorrow Never Dies, which we're going to be watching pretty soon. Again, his plan to start a war

between China and the United Kingdom. I think that could have worked. Jeremy asks, mainly, I just want to hear complaints about Moon Raker's rough transition to film. Aviary double-take included. That has to be the biggest disparity

between book and film. I think. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I like that book. It's a good book. It's a good film. Yeah.

I mean, and I say good film. I just, I mean that in the sense of... I love that movie. It's a good movie to watch. It's a good movie to watch. And yes, there is... This is John Glenn's movie, first movie, right? Is that John Glenn?

Yeah, what... No, that's Lewis Gilbert. All right. For your eyes only is John Glenn. Sorry. But yeah, that is Louis Gilbert. I can see him now talking about the double... When we did Molykew.

You see, it was very, very hard to do. Up in space? We're really, successful. I just want to hold him. I know. And take him and just like keep him in my pocket. He's adorable.

I made the movie Alfie. Oh. What's it all about? Alfie. Have you seen the suits of James Bond Tumblr? It's amazing and awesome. Yeah. I follow it.

That's one yes and one no. I have not seen it. You more than me, I think. I know. I probably would love it. Natlud, N-A-T-L-U-D, Nat-L-U-D, probably, asks us, James Bond changes form, saves the world, superhuman, British Time Lord, question mark.

P-S. Disregards Tifall. This is a Matt Myers theory. But it's Matt Myers' theory. Is it? I am the originator of this theory on a podcast. And who's Matt Meyer? Three and a half years ago. That's you.

And it is the theory. that James Bond is in fact a time lord and how do I know it's my theory man I'll tell you how I know it's my theory I googled it as I thought when I thought of it oh no no there was nothing when I thought of it I googled it and there were no results interesting so that's how I know that I thought of the theory that James Bond is in fact a time lord working for the British Secret Service and if you watch Doctor Who and you watch James Bond I think I think you can see I think you can see it well until you can present an anagram to support this.

I'm not going to consider it. Adams asking us if we're going to cover the 1960s Casino Royale, sure. I think we're going to cover everything on film that has to do with James Bond minus the cartoon. That's a rough one for me.

Oh, the 60s one? Yeah, I mean, it's going to be a thing that we're going to have to watch it together and eat pizza. That's going to have to be how we get through that. Or press play, go out and get a few drinks and come back. Oh, is this the story from Badass Digest? Is this the... Oh, no, this is just about...

Oh, this is interesting. A Bond and Blowfield rematch just got a lot more likely. Now, this is something that I just said. Is that on Badass Digest? It sure is. Devin Farachi? No, it's Phil. Oh, you know, I was on one of the Baddest Digests.

Oh, that's interesting. I never been asked. As a bond expert, and we drank the entire time you can find it online, and I get drunk and drunker and drunkest. Oh, that's cool. I would love to. I don't know why being drunk became my thing. I'd be glad to get drunk on a web video if anybody wants me to. Just let me know. You were on with Ali Gertz, right? Yes.

She was a researcher on at midnight. She sings songs on the internet. And in life, too. I mean, it's not just a... exclusively on the internet. She has an album on iTunes, download it, and listen to her thing about Milhouse in the most sad and appropriate way ever. John Pearson asks, what is the most artistic Bond movie? And I'd have to say it's Honor Magistie's Secret Service versus Quantum and Solace for that title. Solace. Oh, Jesus. I did it. You do it all the time.

I did it again. This person asks me a question not related to James Bond at all. Is it okay that I think of you? as stand-up Jordan Peel. Follow-up. I mean, he's sketched improv and you're stand-up. Not that there's anything wrong with that. What? I don't know. There's a few unrelated...

Jordan's a great guy, and you can think of me however you'd like. Myra, please tell us. Please tell the student loan Omega Watch story. Sure. I don't know that I tell them. Where did I tell this? I must have told it on some podcast they did. I've done hundreds of thousands of podcasts, so I don't know where I've told it.

But I haven't told this here. Yeah, in college, I decided that I could get a student loan for a computer because I was in digital media production and needing a computer that could run the early, early version of Final Cut Pro was necessary. So I went on Apple's website and I built a G5 tower and I got it built up to about $12,000. That's how much you could build a computer for then. And I bet you could get it up there now still. But I had multiple hard drives, four hard drives in there. You know, a lot of RAM, probably like 128 gigs of RAM or megs. I don't even, yeah, 128 megs of RAM probably.

Maybe 256 at that time. And I brought it to the finance department at school. And I said, this is the computer I'd like to build for my editing. I looked at it. looked at my major, handed me a check. Oh, my God. Took the check, didn't buy a computer. And one of the things I ended up buying was the Omega C Master

that's actually in my glove box right now. How did you edit? I edited on a G4 tower. Oh, moviola. I had a Power Mac G4, mirrored door drives on the front. Splice and tape and Celluloid and Garders. We did that in my first class. Yeah, we were still editing on VHS with the shuttle.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did that. That was part of the phone we had. And yeah, and since then, I bet that watch has cost me well over $10,000 at this point. Just an interest. Stephen Harris asks, what happened to Daniel Craig's parents in Skyfall? Well, I think you mean James Bond's parents, but I take...

Excuse me. The literary Bond's parents died in a skiing. No, it was a mountain climbing. Well, I call it skiing. You call it mountain climbing. Well, I'm right. Tush. Oh, this is a good question.

question from Justin Teormina. In the Alps. Let's just let him know, because they obviously doesn't know exactly the story. Someday I'll get to Pitts Gloray up there in the Swiss Alps. I was thinking, I was vowing that. I'd rather go there than Golden Eye, to be honest. Okay. Okay.

I mean, yeah, that's a filming location. Let's do it. If you had a chance to write a Bond movie, what would your plot be? Obviously, we couldn't parse out a Bond plot, but say like what style, close to what movie's style, like, simple, convoluted, ridiculous? Well, first of all, I'd try to get Deacons to shoot it. Because, good Lord, does that movie look great. Yeah.

He's up there with John Barry and Cat Adam for their contributions. Like, if he were to do that regularly, he would be so appreciative. That movie, rewatch Skyfall, but it's on Netflix. It's just so good looking. On Her Majesty's Secret Service, I have to say, is shot really beautifully, too. Thanks, Soda Berg. Yeah, no, it's just, okay, so here's what I would want. And I think Matt and I are on the same page as, as far as, as, as,

this is concerned. I want a cold open. That has nothing to do with the story. Yes. Okay? When is the last time that happened? I don't think it has since... Tomorrow never dies? I don't even remember the cold open and tomorrow never dies.

It's that he's in a jet and he has to blow up all that shit. No, because that's the arms bizarre. That's the arms bizarre where the GPS thing gets taken. It's not Golden Eye. It's not licensed to kill. It's a Roger Moore parachuting. No. Wait, let's go back. Because it's not living daylight, because that's connected to Smurtsby.

Yeah. View to a kill, no. Octopussy. Yeah. Yes, the little armolite plane is not related to the... Oh, yes, the little Nelly. No, that's the helicopter. You're going to get emails.

All right. Well, listen. Yeah, so there it is. Octopus. The 1983 was the last time that happened. So what we would like is... Wow. 30 years ago, we haven't had a...

An unrelated cold open in 30 years. And I think that's just... I don't know why. But anyway, that's what we want. We want a cold open. We agree on that. And then what I'd like... And I think we've said this before, too.

I'd like Spectre back. I want a big organization. I want some sort of viable enemy, which is why I like... I like Quantum quite a bit. I thought that was a good little way to get around... I teased it. Not having Spector. I sure teased it.

And I want... So Cold Ombuds. open, awesome theme song, followed by the villain, setting up his plan, followed by James being called into M's office, saying

James, 004 was in Prague and was killed by someone we think is Blofeld. And he's like, oh, who's this Blowfeld? You know, something like that, whatever. And set piece-wise, well, immediately,

after this happens, James Bond takes his dossier and goes, this is excellent. I don't know what I'll say. Anyway, hands it back, and then heads it down to the quartermaster. That's what I want him to do. Jimmy's going to head down to the Q Master,

and he's going to take a look. And you know what he's going to do? He's going to say, you know what, Q, I'm going to leave this ear thing with you. I'm going to go do this on my own because there's some radio, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he says, okay, there's your gadgets.

This is a blap-de-blap-bap. Great gadgets. We got it. Here's your new car. And he's like, what does this car do? Nothing. It's bulletproof. It's bulletproof.

It's a Mazda Miata, you see. Two passenger, Mazda Miata. Rotating wheels. All in all, rather stocked. No license plate rotation. Just wheels. You see how they turn? That's how it drives.

We've actually, we've gone ahead and taken the liberty of removing your license plates. And we've placed this. It's called VIII. Valley Mazda. Pete Ellis Dodge, you see. Human Toyota. What is that? It's called Sun Valley Kia.

Now, you see, they don't only sell Kias, so it's believable that the Mazda Miata would come from there. Mike Rothschild asks, which born villain has the most compelling motivation? We haven't finished our pitch yet. Oh, sorry. Are you not into our pitch of how a Jay's Bond movie should go? No, I'm so into it that it's like I don't even need to hear it because I think it needs to happen, you know?

It's the obvious choice. So he leaves Q, right? What's the next thing he's going to do? I think we both know who he's going to meet now. He's going to meet the girl. He's going to meet the girl, but what's he going to do with this girl? Well, she's going to be the femme fatal that is somehow working for the villain. He's going to sleep with her.

Oh, correct. You're absolutely correct. I'm sure her fate. Now, granted, what we're saying sounds very predictable. Yeah, maybe not that. formulaic. But I think part of what we love about James Bond is the formula of James Bond. And I think that if they can

get back to basics. At least for one movie. At least for one movie, please, please, please get back to basics, which is what makes the end of Skyfall so goddamn good. Is when he shows up and is handed a file in M's original office.

And really, if Sam Mendys, who's doing the next movie, and teed himself up, if he doesn't follow through with that, I'd be so upset but still love the movie that comes out. Which Bond villain has the most compelling motivation? Well, it's got to be someone that wants revenge, right? Like Silva.

Silva's got a pretty compelling motivation with the very ridiculous plot. The sheaf, oh, the sheaf just scared for his life, yeah. Yeah. He's just scared. He's got to get people's money back. Yeah, now I'm thinking about everybody else. Sophie Marceau can go fuckers now. Alec Trevelyan.

Trevelyan's got a pretty good motive. It's really, because James Bond went ahead and changed the mine, the mine deployment to go in 10 seconds instead of 30. So then he's got revenge. GoldenEye is actually one of the ones I watched the least. I know that's a sin. Well, I think most people are familiar with the plot of GoldenEye just from the game.

Yep, there you go. Uh, let's see, what else do we got here? Questions, questions, questions. Scott says, do you like more in the same way Captain Kirk or 60s Batman is fun? Or do you like him on a more serious level? Oh, I think that's a huge part of Roger Moore's charm as James Bond. Sure. I think that, uh, the, uh, for lack of a better term,

Whimsy? Whimsy. You see, James, who just press this button and whimsy comes out. Thank you. Thank you, Q. James, I've been talking to our psychiatrist, and she says that it's not enough whimsy in your life, so I've gone and included this button. You have to be in fourth gear, traveling at 37 miles per hour. All right.

Now, what you do here is you're going to turn the radio on to 843am. understand a m station yes a m station very now of course there is a button okay do not hit this button unless you're going up precisely click to seven nope what what what you've released the whimsy oh look what fun speaking of this what would come out what would come out of the meada uh that's a good question it would be it's just it just pops the trunk and there's a puppy dressed like santa or or jaws in that weird carnival costume wherever they were, the junk canoe in Brazil. No, Carnival.

You release this section of the roof and fire whimsy. Look at that. Very good. Whatever you do, don't press it. Unless you're looking for whimsy. Just imagining what music starts playing when he hits the button. I'll tell you it would be that harky-tongued. We get, we're getting more and more requests for some Ian Fleming.

So I'm going to take some questions from you as Ian Fleming right now. Okay, you're interviewing me as Ian Fleming. Here we go. Pleasure to have you with us. Isaac! Don't you know, boy, tell you her what, what and all that? Yes. Thank you, Ian, for being with us on this podcast.

Isaiah! Do you know what a podcast is? Absolutely. You plug it in and gives you whimsy. Does it not? I'm having a great time. I smoke 70 cigarettes a day. Should I do my Desmond the Welland interviewing?

Yes. Oh, I'm very much enamored with your work in the films. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Now, of course, what I'd like to do is just tell you a little bit about how I've approached the role you've created. All right. Now, you see, what I do is, is I'm very much. I add a bit of whimsie.

Whimsy. Whimsy. Whimsy. Whim. Whim. Chimsy. Chite, chiteyty,

biong, biong. I believe that's a different movie. I wrote it, you know. I don't believe. Is that true? Absolutely, you see, I wrote that. And I wrote all of the James Bond novels that I wrote.

Of course. Of course. I'm familiar with those. Yes? Because I wouldn't have it. job without it. Right. Yes. I see what you're saying. But the chitty-chitty-ch-ch-ch-a-bain, which I will say has a lot of whimsy. It does. Chite-chety-chety bian-bang-beang has a lot of whimesai, you see? And I pose that's in my

collection, first editions of Charlie Darwin's on the origin of the species, and old Addy Hitler's Mine Camp. Adi, you know, you sound very familiar with it. Well, you know, me and my Red Indian Commandos and WWII went after some of them, you know? Yes, of course. Now, where did you come up with gadgets? Well, you see, it wasn't entirely my invention. Gadgets had pre-existed before this, and as one of the Red Indian Commandos in my group, we would take little bits of things and make other things out of them, don't you see it?

I say. Why would you call Red Indian Command? Well, that's what I call them, you know, because they were very much like little raiders on the Western Plains like you see in those quaint Western movies. So what you're... I'm sorry. Yes, you in the front. I'm actually...

There's no... There's no back here. Of course I'm in the front. My bad. There's no one behind me. No, no. But this... Did you watch a lot of Westerns? Absolutely. You see, we had no television when I was growing up,

so I was loved to have my imagination to watch television. You imagine the genre of westerns? I did quite before it came. Well before Western era. Well before cowboys. What year were you born? A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells. Fair enough.

Thank you, Ian Fleming, for joining us here on And, uh, Q's Corner. Thank you. What a wonderful afternoon of Whimesie and capriciousness. Hwimsy. Huimsy. Am I, am I not saying it like you? Hymnze.

Huimze. Hymsey. Thank you for joining us. You're welcome. And seen, everybody. All right. It was well worth our time. Um, a lot of questions about Spector.

This is a timely day. It really is a timely day. How much have you spent on bond or bond-like memorabilia? That's a good question. Not as much as you'd think. Personally. I mean, if you count the watches, sure. Sure.

But... Not counting the movies. Yeah, you can't count the movies. I mean, poster-wise, I have a very rare golden-eye poster. Do you? Yeah. That I... It just says Return of the Jedi.

It says Revenge of the Jedi. I have actually above your stairs. Yeah, that's true. I have a very rare gold-earned poster that I actually have never... Here's what makes it rare. It's the teaser poster, which is the gun barrel with Pierce Brosnan's eye, and it's brown. And it says, 007 on the bottom. And it says, the legend is back.

Oh. And instead of saying Christmas 95, it says coming soon. Wow. Okay. And I bought it for $20. in a comic book store in Wakefield, Massachusetts, already framed. Oh, my God. And probably, I'm going to guess, 1998.

Decent frame, glass? Good frame, non-reflective plexi. All right. It's good. Yeah. It's good. We both have the Toshan archive book. Of course.

But I think those were both gifts. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of wish that we had just decided to get the Ken Adams signed one. But that's just, you know. Is there one? There was a special edition that was $1,200. Oh, God.

I have a Ken Adams book that I have yet. I have all these like sick rainy day chores. I just got super terrified thinking that maybe I didn't hit record. Maybe you should check. Oh my god. I'm saying

what I'm saying to you right now may never get to you. We're good. We're good. I mean we're not doing that great but we're good. I have three prints of original James Bond art and one of them is a digital print on transparency of just like right above the chin down to the top of the stomach pictures one of Mr. Kent and one of Mr.

Oh yes. And one of Mr. Wint and one of Mr. Kint and one of Mr. Kint. So Mr. Wint has the scorpion and then Mr. Kidd has the LeBomb Surprise. Yes. It's really cool. They're very stylized. And then I have one of Connery and it's a painting like a digital painting of him in the, in the Japanese baths with all the girls.

I, um, when I was a kid, I collected the, uh, corgi stuff. Oh, you did? Yeah, the cars. Oh, I have some of the, um, old figurines. I have Goldfinger, odd job and Dr. No. They're still in the package. And they're, like, worth nothing. It's so strange.

Yeah, of course they aren't. I had the dumbest one I had, just based on the vehicle that it is. I had the corgi, Tomorrow Never Does, BMW 750. Oh, is that? Your BMW 750. 150. Is that which movie is that? All the usual refinements.

Now this I'm particularly proud of. Wait, here we go. Which Bond? This is from Daniel. Which Bond is the best lover? As much as I love Roger Moore, I think he may be the worst because the way he kisses feels like a cryptkeeper or a succubus pulling the life force from the body. Here's the part where... I don't feel like he enjoys it. Here's the part that worries me. Yeah.

It's clear that we've both thought about this. Well, sure. How can you not? But I have to say, you just want to be able to receiving in. Here's the thing. I can also eliminate another James Bond. Yeah. Pierce Brosnan. I'm eliminating him because of his pension for biting bottom lips. Yeah, because he's just like his hurt acting, he has sex acting. He has a distinct thing for each thing, and it makes me think that it's all tricks and gimmicks.

I think it's going to be, Connery's a natural. Connery makes you forget that it was rape. Like a good special effect. You forget it's not even digital. You forget it was not consent. You're right. I think Craig is good. Craig is a real good lover.

Dalton, I think, is probably pretty good. I think it's going to be Dalton, Craig. I think Laysenby is good, Connery. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're going to have to... Yeah, we're going to give it to Craig. We're going to give it to Daniel Craig right now. Yeah.

Just by virtue of the fact that so far he hasn't, you know, against anybody's will. So that's good. Yeah. Got that going for him. Well, we've exhausted our Twitter questions. I'm going to go to the email. Have we really exhausted Twitter questions? Oh, really?

Because I get a new one for you. Okay. With all things considered, who wins James Bond or Jason Bourne? That's not even a question. James Bond's going to win. Here's the question. I've always asked myself,

because this is the kind of life I've led as a child. Batman or James Bond? They're both fully gadgeted in this fight. well it depends on who's in whose movie obviously

let's put them in a movie that we call like a neutral movie Bondman let's put them in it let's put them both in the new Superman movie or does that feel like it's too much I don't know I don't know I've always wondered that and I

I feel like because those two people I feel like James Bond they're so similar character origin wise. Yeah, that's true. Especially now. Yeah. Training wise and everything like that. No, especially always.

Both their parents were killed at a very young age, almost the same age, okay? Right. Then they end up, you know, Batman trains the League of Assassins in Raichael Gould. But Bond goes the other way and ends up with the British Secret Service. Yeah. They both use gadgets to help them out. They're both human beings. That's true.

You got that. They're both made. human beings. You've connected something there. Well, I'm just saying there's no superpowers. Okay, yeah. There's no superpowers. But they've got to use their mind. This is a conversation if I had it with someone who liked comic books. Wouldn't have giggled at that.

I like comic books. Yeah, sometimes. All right. Well, listen. What I'm saying is it would be a very good fight. Bruce Wayne. James Orenthal Bond. Don't think that's the smithing then.

All right. We're going to put away the media because I think it's distracting us, and we're going to continue the conversation. Let's get our own philosophical question going. James Bond. Were there other things we needed to talk about? Should we recap? Well, let's talk about the fact that I was watching Pond Stars last week. Okay, yes. With Craig Rowan, improviser, writer on at Midnight. He has a podcast where he sits down with someone and watches an episode of a TV show.

And we decided, I was on it, I think it comes out this week, we decided to watch Pond Stars. So it's a favorite of mine. He's sort of seen it. So we were watching it. Last week, who walks? in the door. But Vic Flick to sell a 1963 white Fender

Stratocaster with a rosewood fingerboard and some classy looking pickups. But we know that this show is all set up. Like they contacted him and said, come in. Right. Or he contacted them either way. Right.

What happens in this is he starts explaining on what sessions he used this guitar. Oh, really? Yeah. So, he used it to record the Goldfinger soundtrack. Whoa. He used it to record the soundtrack to a hard day's night. Oh, my God. You know that scene where Ringo's walking around by himself on the beach and all that little guitar thing that's happening? That's not the Beatles. That's Vic Flick. Forget it. All right? Excuse me. I understand. Forget it. Forget it. It's insane.

And also he played with Queen. But he would not sell us at a pawn shop. Oh, but he did. Was he down on his luck? I don't know. But they gave him 60 grand for it. Yeah, and then just gave it right back to him. I hope so.

I guarantee that's fake. Because I don't know why that's a guitar that goes into auction. Because I'm a person. I know there are more people like me out there on the planet Earth, but people like me with way more money than I have. Yeah. Like Paul Allen, big guitar collector. billionaire.

He bought Jimmy Hendrix's Star single banner strat. I feel like that's something he would want to buy. He'd want to buy that strata caster. And I feel like that you easily get to six digits with that kind of a thing. But I loved it. I loved it. I love seeing him in there.

So it went for $60,000. They sold it to the pawn shop for $60,000. What did the guy say he thought he could get for it? 80. Which is still... I mean, if you... If you think about it, let's say it's valued at 80 and it sells for 80 in an auction, and then he's got to pay the buyer's premium and stuff like that.

He probably would have ended up with $60,000 or the seller's premium. So I watched the episode of Storage Wars where Shirley Bassie's on and she just comes out of a storage unit. She's been in there for years. They opened it up and he's like, I've struck gold. It was amazing. So, thing, ah. Thank God you're here. I couldn't breathe

There's no air No air for me to inhale I almost die Dine die Have you read any of the funning Sorry Have you read any of the funding books? I've gotten halfway through

A little book I like to call Cassina Royal Cassino Royal What I do love about the Fleming books And I've read all of them Yeah, I've read all of them What I do love about them Is the style in which they're written

They're They're, I would liken the style of writing To Connery's portrayal of Bond Yeah They're concise Ters They're yeah The sentences aren't long

Yeah It gets the point across And they're incredibly racist Yeah Boy They really are. And misogynistic. I saw that interview where Connery's on, Barbara Walter, saying.

Yes. So she even gives him the chance to get out of it, but he will not. No, I still think if you've exhausted every other option, you not only should, but need. Sometimes a woman. Just needs a hand out. Whoa. Whoa. That, if you've never seen that interview.

Yeah. And if that happened to a star of today's world, they would not recover from that. No. That's almost Mel Gibson level of ridiculousness. And because there was no internet back then... Here's this third suggested search that comes up for Sean Connery on YouTube. Is Sean Connery slapping a woman. Here we go.

Ready? 58 seconds long? We're going to hear play the clip. Yeah. Good. It's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then. As I remember, you said, you don't do it with a clenched fist. It's better than do it with an open hand.

Jesus. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't love that. I haven't changed my opinion. You haven't?

No. Not at all. Do you think it's good to slap a woman? No, I don't think it's good. You don't think it's bad. I don't think it's that bad. I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it. What would merit it?

Well, if you have tried everything else and women are pretty good at this, they can't leave it along. They don't want to have the last word, and you give them the last word, but they're not happy with the last word. They want to say it again and get into it. really provocative situation, then I think it's absolutely right. Oh, what would... Someone edited in slapping her, and that made me laugh really hard. Because you're a misogynistic bastard. This clip alone is enough to make me not feel sorry for him kind of getting screwed by

the producers. I don't care. I don't care what era. In fact, that's not even 60s. That's 80s when that... When did that interview take place? Oh, that's probably 88? Yeah, that's ridiculous.

I mean, he looks like... I thought Stop cutting me off, bitch There's a lot of There's a lot of parodies of this video On YouTube, I can't imagine Yeah, can you imagine Also, I feel like they use the word

parody on YouTube, far too freely Far too freely Far too Willie and they're like, they use the word parody like Sean Conner uses his open hand Jeez, that's incredible That's incredible It's incredible but not unexpected.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, of course, that's what Sean Connery does. I think that, I think, but also, I know,

there's no, and we sort of went through this with Allie and Georgia too where there's like, no, you can't really defend it.

You really can't defend it. Nor should you. No. Yeah. I mean, it's just like, as much as I want to, uh,

like Sean Connery as a human being. Like, that kind of a thing, you're just like, I like him. I like him as a, as a curious personality.

I'm fascinated by him. But really every kind of interview I've seen of him is even, let's say you have no stake in the massagnie or anything like that. He does seem a detached and not engaging person. Like, he just seems very negative. But it's a bummer. I think that that might be 60 years of being. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is.

You know what I mean? Yeah, because if you look at a lot of the footage from when he was young, he's making funny faces and stuff like that. Yeah. A lot of whimsy. Whimsy. Whimsy. You see, on the set, Sean would often. hit this button and it would bring

out whimsy. In his defence he would hit it with an open hand. That's very right, Ian. I remember when he was on, Ian was on set for Doctor No. And what would happen is I'd say, here's some whimsy, even though I wasn't in that movie. No. I decided to show off to set.

It was big of you. It was not very far from my flat. In Jamaica. Yes. In fact, I feel like that might be where I got the roll from. I showed up with this whimsy button Fimsy Whimsy?

Whimsy? And, you know, just between takes, Jean would come over and I'd say, here's some whimsy. And he'd slap you. Yes. Yes. But not before hitting the button. No.

Very whimsical. Because that's what it was like back then. Don't you see? And that's what people can't understand. And, oh, did we drink the red stripe? You drank the red stripe. You hit women. You used all sorts of derogatory.

language. You know, because that's what you did to do your part for society. I would say we didn't know any better. It was racist to not be racist, don't you know? If you liked everyone equally, you were a racist. Yes. You, do you know who else was racist? Who? Who? Hu. Hightler. Adi Heidler. Do you mean to say, how can you? Must be. Turns out he wasn't very fond of a particular set of people. I've never heard. Yes, also, you don't want to be like him, right?

So you have to be a little bit of racist. He's just on the other end of the spectrum. Right, right. Which made him extraordinarily rascist. I believe you have something going on there. Don't you know I say, tally-ho, what, what, and all that old boy, chip-chip, cheerio, you know? Shammy leather. Ah, yes.

In 1968, I attempted to put shabby leather in the new Aston Martin. It was a shammie leather body. Oh. You never had to worry about collisions. I just, the arguments I would have with Cubby. I said... Hard to argue with someone named Cubby. He's so cuddly.

Quite right. Yes. I said, Cubby, do you know what would make this Aston Martin better? Well, I don't... He's American. I was trying. It came out. I was too in that mode. Oh, boy.

Perhaps instead of bulletproof glass. Leather. Shammie leather or stout leather. Mmm. Shammie. Oh, soft shammie leathered sheets that I sleep is. I find it to be just more whimsical. Whimsical. What have we done by offering a supplemental podcast and giving this heaping

mound of excrement that we have given to your ears. What we've done, you see, is taken a sort of, I don't know, tapered formation of elephant dung and shoved it into your ears, don't you see? But sometimes, it's quite what you need. Isn't it, though? Anything else we need to cover? I think we've sufficiently wasted everyone's time. Well, listen to me now, transition out of Ian Fleming.

Oh, God. Where was I? What just happened? for the last. Ian Fleming was here. What? I missed him? You were possessed by him.

Oh my God. You didn't miss him at all, actually. He was inside of you. Was I wearing a blue terry cloth short pants jumper? And a cigarette in a holder? This jumper! Oh, I want one of those. Please send us your terry cloths.

Oh, light blue terry cloth. Yeah. It's a jumper, but it's all shorts. It's like real short. Yeah, I'm like a 48 regular. You can send that over? Yeah, I'm at 36. Yeah.

Send it. We'll wear it. Yeah. Do they make Terrycloth jumpers in suit sizes? I hope they do. For James Bonding. I've been Matt Myra. I've been Matt Corley.

Please, uh, didn't we say it would end it like this? We would say, James Bonding will return. In. On Her Majesty's Secret Service. We did it. On her majesty's sacred serviccio. It's Italian. It's Italian.

You see, it's an uncooked. It's an uncooked. And then, you see, I met a woman and she had caramel-flecked haunches, having been of origin. What? I was borat. Now leavingnerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neckamp from the Improv Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure. to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sound like a fancy college professor. Fake nuts.

Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again.

Uh, yes. I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middle Ditch. Jesus, I mean, Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three of a Loaf from the Magic Tavern is out now.

Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.