James Bonding - Mission Briefing #2

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Craig Rowin joins the Matts for another Mission Briefing! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, everybody, it's Matt Myra and Matt Goreley. Hi. We are just going to record a little something up top to let you know what's happening in this very special episode of James Bonding. We had scheduled Kumal to be on the show. He couldn't make it last minute. So we decided, you know what, Craig Rowan's here. We loved him on Goldfinger, on Gold and I, rather. Let's do a quick podcast, a mission briefing.

Well, we started talking about James Bond. And then we got severely off-true. track and the middle of the episode is essentially a brand new podcast that Craig and I invented while we were talking called 1990 High Five, where we essentially discuss what Matt Goreley was up to in 1995, just to sort of get in his head about where he was with James Bond. Listen, I had a lot of fun doing it. Listen at your own peril is what we're saying. Don't even, just, this is, it's gravy. You can do what you want with it. Yeah, and that's why we're actually going to release this, noty, even on Thursday. We're going to put it out a little bit earlier.

Katie God gave me a look like maybe that's not happening, but just know that this isn't a real episode. It's just sort of like a filler. It's like a little gift to the fans of like, hey, we're here. We do feel bad about not putting out the episode as often as we should. And we were like, fuck it, let's just get something down on the ears. And hopefully

you guys will enjoy it. Get down on your ears. Get it down on the ears. Get it down on the ears. Get a yoga mat. Put on some beefcake in the artisans. And my point is, if you down on your ears. If you enjoy, I think this is one of my favorite episodes just because of how

bizarre it got. And I like to thank Craig for being a part of it. Thanks, Craig. Craig, you can say thank you in the intro. You can say thank you. No, no, no, don't say anything. I'm not here for this.

No, no, no, you just should just acknowledge. I should not talk. Don't, you're just doing it weird right now. You're making it odd. Okay, thank you. Thanks for having me, guys. You're welcome. He's not on the episode.

Yeah, so without further ado, We give you a James Bonding double-o-something. Mission briefing number two. Mission briefing ought to. I'm still here. Now entering nerdist.com. James Bond. Ooh.

Mission briefing. Let's do this. What? Wow. Huh? Really? The hour we spent rehearsing that. Fucking paid off.

brilliantly. I wish the people at home can see the pyrotechnics. They can feel the pirate techniques. Welcome to a very special edition of James Bonding. It's been a while since we've recorded. We thought we would give you one. The original plan for this evening was to record a license to kill with Kumail Nanjiani. Kumail non-show-uppy.

Kubal non-show-upi to borrow first name from Pete Holmes. Kumil, you know, he's busy. Busy guy. He's out there all the time. They're editing the meltdown program that's going to be on Comedy Central this summer. So he was stuck with that and sends his regrets and owes us big. Yeah, big time. Quote, unquote. He owes us big. That's what he said to us. So he'll hopefully make good on it. It's going to be enough punishment to make him watch license to kill.

Yeah, which we'll talk about next time. So Craig Rowan, you're back. I'm here. What the hell? Craig Rowan's going to help us out with a very special mission briefing episode. While Camel is busy, I literally have nothing to do. We should mention that Craig Rowan of Golden Eye fame. Craig? Yes, I was the lead in Golden Eye.

Craig. The lead Golden Eye episode. Craig GoldenEye Rowan is here with us today. Craig, of course, does a great podcast that's coming over to the Nerdist Network called It's That episode. I didn't know. Yeah. It's that episode. Great.

You heard it here second. Yep. My case first. He used to be over on the Splitsider, and then we brokered a huge deal. You have no idea how many zeros were after that zero. We actually had to give them Jonah Ray. We gave them Jonah Ray. The person, not, I mean, he's still going to do stuff on our network, but as a human being, he's owned by Splitsider now.

But in exchange, we got Craig Rowan to come over and do a podcast on our network. Matt Goreley of Volkswagen fame. Those are showing up on the television radio. email. Very exciting stuff. Matt, I texted you, and then I said something to you as soon as I saw you, and I'll say it on the air. You look great in those suits. Thanks, Matt, and you look great right now as well.

Thank you. Cut it down. I saw one of the commercials as well, and you were great. And I said to Matt, when it was on, I didn't even recognize you because you had a beard. Yeah. In fact, I just shaved that Sunday, like a three-month beard. Three-month winter beard's gone. Yeah.

You're ready for spring. new things are coming. That's right. Rebirth. Rebirth. This is the rebirth of the James Bonding podcast. That's right. We're on to Dalton and Moore.

It's going to be a good run, guys. Also, this might be prematurely, but I'm just going to say it anyway. There's a very, in all likelihood, there will be a James Bonding panel at WonderCon this year, which is a wonderful comic book convention that happens in Anaheim. And can I say that? It's confirmed that John Connery is going to be there. You can say that, but that's not true. It's going to be the first time

The six bond afters have been in the same room They're coming to Anaheim What if we got that Just for a lark? They were like, yeah, fuck it, I'll show up to that That's no problem I'll pay you Do you think we can get a broccoli over there?

A broccoli. Yeah, maybe a broccoli robbed. What is this? We can get some broccoli. We'll be on stage with some broccoli. Guaranteed. This is my This is Barbara Broccoli.

It's just a stock of broccoli that I own that I've named Barbara. But it's just a mixture of spices that make it just, I just tasted like a Barbara. So here we are. We are a lot of movies into this thing. Yeah, it's a mission briefing episode where we do a sort of state of the podcast. And we check in, we answer some questions, we talk about where we are in our James Bonding lives. Talk about breaking James Bond news, which I'm going to start this with. I'm going to start this with some breaking James Bond.

James Bond news. Ray Fines has said an interview that the new James Bond movie is the beginning filming in October. That's right. Now, is he involved or is just he was the guy that they're like, let's let him say. No, he's a big fan. Like, he breaks all the Bond news. He runs a website. May I release that?

Thank you. And that's actually, they were so tired of him that they just gave him apart. Can I correct that it's pronounced Reef Fines. Refinis. It's Raiap. So, obviously that means Mallory's back as M. He'll be addressed as M in this one. Craig David's still in it.

Sure. I think he is. He's probably going to hang out and be Ronson? Ronson? Tanner. Ronson's not around anymore, correct? No, Ronson's dead. Ronson died.

When did Ronson die? He dies in the opening, the cold opening of Skyfall. No. Yeah. Ronson. Hang on. It's true, man. Ronson is dead.

Yeah. And Ronson is not the guy I'm thinking of. Who are you thinking? Robinson. Craig, what's his name? Craig Robinson. He is. No.

I'm talking about... Yeah, his name is Robinson, that character. The bald guy? The bald, the handsome, tall, black gentleman in the world is not enough and tomorrow never dies. The one that lets us know that it's called the... GPS system global positioning satellites. It really hit that hard. Yeah.

Let's everybody know what's happening. So that's exciting. Sam Mendes is back. No Roger Deacons. No Deacons. No Deacons shooting. So it might not be as pretty as the previous movie. I don't see how it could be.

Well, here's my question. I'll oppose this to both of you gentlemen. Thank you. Pretty as James Bond movie. A lot of people say Skyfall. Skyfall's a great looking movie. But I'm going to have to pull us all back and say, maybe it's Quantum of Salas.

Maybe Quantum of Salas is visually I will say it might be visually more compelling. In its, let's say, editing. But I think for sheer composition of shots, light and beauty, you can't touch Skyfall.

I can't touch it. You can't. I think Quantum of Salas, do you have an opinion in either of these things? I'm not sure which is the best, but I'll say it's definitely not licensed to come. That's true.

That may be one of the... I mean, just the... Just the lighting. It's just terrible. Just really bad. I think, yeah, that's John Glenn's last film. We'll talk about this. We'll touch on this eventually, but since we're talking about...

Yeah, we don't need to get too deep. We don't need to get too deep in the license to kill. But here's what I'll say to license to kill. License to Kill is, I feel, the most reactionary James Bond movie that has ever been. And by that, I mean, it is... is reacting to every 80s movie that existed from 1980 to 1988. It's basically a long episode of MiamiVice. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, with some die-hard. And, like, comically, a ninja shows up. We got to save this. All right. I have a soft spot for that movie. It's very soft. A history and a soft spot and a weird tie-in. As my dad would say, soft in the head, Matt.

Hey, Dad. Holy she's. So yeah, so it's coming out October 2015 in the UK. We'll have flying cars by that. We probably. We'll have flying cars by the time they start shooting. October. Oh, yeah, hoverboards.

Yeah, it's going to be great. And then November in the United States. Here's my proposition, Matt Goreley. I'm going to throw this out here right now. We go to England and watch the opening weekend. Oh, why don't we? Yeah, that sounds great. Done.

Craig, you in? I can't be there. I'm losing. I understand. So, it's Bond 25, right? Yeah, no, 24. 24, 25 is, he's still contractually obligated for 25, correct? Yes.

He being Daniel Craig. So, yeah, the James Bond movies, we have now experienced every James Bond. Right. Yep, we've seen Dalton, we've seen Brosnan, we've seen Craig, we've seen Craig Rowan, We've seen Sean Connery, we've seen George Laysenby, Roger Moore, of course. And now I think we can have the official discussion. Who's the best? Do we put them in order? Who's the best? Let's do a ranking of our bonds.

Now, Mad Gourley's taking this very seriously and writing it down. I am not taking it nearly as seriously. Here's, we should have two separate lists for this. We should have our favorite and who the best is. Ooh, interesting. Well, mine are the same. Really? Yeah.

So your favorite, now I believe, if I remember correctly, just from our friendship, your favorite is Daniel Craig. Yes. Wow. Just giving it to the new guy. Yeah. He's earned it. He's three in. He's three in?

If it were one or two, I might have to step back a little. Yeah. I think he's wonderful. I think he's by far the best actor. His movies pound for pound are really good. You think he's a better actor than... than Timothy Dalton? Acting-wise?

Yeah, I do. And I think Timothy Dalton's pretty good. I think Timothy Dalton's a very good actor. Yeah. This is a real question. Does Daniel Craig, do you feel he has the humor of the Bond? No.

No, but I don't feel he needs that humor in his movies. If he were doing Roger Moore's movies, he wouldn't be that great in him, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite. Because I feel like, to me, that's a key ingredient in James Bond. Well, in Casino Royale,

I thought his humor was spot on because the writing really fit. him. It was a little tough in Skyfall because they were kind of going back to some one-liners and he didn't seem comfortable with him. And not like he couldn't do him, but I almost felt like there was something behind his eyes saying he didn't want to or anything. You know, I got that feeling. It's interesting too when you watch Craig because when I, I've been, you know, it's on Netflix right now, Skyfall, so it always shows up in my recently watch because I'll just watch five minutes of it pretty often. It's a click away, guys. Wait a minute. I want to say that I always put it on to test any of my home

sound or TV equipment, and I would just like to say that I kicked ass in the universal remote control world. I finally got it! My home is, oh, one button for any any, you want music, you want, just one button is all you have to

press. Ask me how many buttons. So, hang on, Matt. Let's say you want to watch a Blu-ray. How many buttons are you going to have to? One button. One button. And I'll put in Skyfall because it looks so beautiful and sounds so good. Do you know what movie I test everything with? What's your demo disc?

The Blu-ray of Apollo 13. Ooh. That launch sequence. That's a good looking, good sound. Launch sequence, Craig, do you have an answer for this? Airbud. It's got every channel. Every audio channel. Every surround

sound system in the world. It's a feast for the years and eyes. Well, no. So your favorite, you're going to say, Dale Craig, number one for you. My number one, my guess. Of the favorites. We should try to guess each other's.

Boom. Okay. Go ahead. Guess my favorite. Well, your favorite is Roger Moore. Correct. Okay. You are absolutely correct.

Roger Moore is my favorite James Bond. Wow. Yeah. Craig, do you have an answer? I mean, yes, but again, it's, as you said, it's favorite. Yeah. This is favorite right now.

It's the best. Favorite, okay. You can guess. Uh, I'm going to say your favorite is probably Connery. Yeah, it is. But that's because. because those are the movie.

I'm a casual James Bond fan. Yeah, sure. Cash fan. Cash F. And that's what I grew up on. You know, I watched those. Those were ones my dad grew up on, so those are the ones I grew up on. Craig is 62.

62 years old. Or yours young. As he likes to say. I'm spry. All right, so here we go. I'm going to have, we're going to now number two on Matt's favorite list. Matt Gurley, I'm going to guess for you. Your number two, favorite James Bond.

It's got to be Roger Moore. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. Yeah. That's a good number two. I'm not going to lie.

You should be number one. Well. I like a little wink. I like a little humor. I like a little swathus. Now, yours I think is between... Yours is tough. Your number two is tough.

Yeah, it is pretty tough, right? I'm going to put a little faith in you. I'm going to say Daniel Craig. You're wrong. No, Connery? Yes. All right. Sean Connery.

Who is your number one, Roger? Roger Moore. Roger Moore. Craig, you're a number one. number one. Your number one is Shot Conner. Your number two is Pierce Bros. Yeah. Well, here's the thing

that's like, that's not, not true. It's not not true. The thing is like, it's not true, but it's also not true. Because those were the first ones I saw in the theater, so that's also where I just, my brain goes. But I love Daniel Craig.

I really very much enjoy Daniel Craig. I think he's great. I think he's fantastic. I think he's earned it. But you also gotta remember how, you know, we're looking at this, Matt. We're looking at this through different eyes. We're looking at this through the eyes of someone who was the age you were when viewed a kill was out was the age I was when Golden I was out.

Are you about to make a case for Brosnan? No, he's actually going to, he's going to show up shortly. No. He's going to show up shortly on the list. But now, for number three for you. This is interesting. I'm going to have to say, due to your age and your soft spot for nostalgia and your love of new wave music. I'm going to put your number three at Timothy Dalton.

Can I make a guess? George Lazenby. Wait, what? The process of elimination here? Yeah. Wow. Are you forgetting someone? Connery.

Yeah. Connery. Oh, my God. I completely had already thought you said Connery because the only logical choices should have been Connery. I love Connery. Don't get me wrong, just because he's third. I mean, I think the Roger Moore nostalgia thing is trumping how I really do like Conrary. Obviously, he's a classic. It's almost like you got to take him out of it, you know? He's sort of like set up the, yeah, he set it up. It's like sort of when you have your favorite band discussion, you always have to remove the Beatles. He's the gold standard. He's the gold standard. He's the gold finger standard. He's the golden gun standard.

Yeah, I don't even know that I can say I really, I think Roger Moore may be a soft spot favorite, but I don't think he's a better bond. Connery, really, you know? Yeah. Well, we're going to get to the best at a second. Okay. Now, Craig, you're... I'm going to abstain from this one. You're going to say...

They're all tied. I don't want to say my third thing. I can't. If you knew, you would... What's going on my brain, you'd freak out who I think that... It's Woody Allen, isn't it? It's Woody Allen, is it? It's because of the original casino royale.

And I can't say because of what's been in the news recently, but... Yeah, I understand. I understand. So, okay, so now one, two, we've done one two, and now my third favorite, my third favorite, James Bond. Is, well, it's got to be, it's got to be now, Daniel. It's not Brosnan, is it? It's Brosnan. No, Daniel Craig's better than Pierce's Brasen. All right, all right. Daniel Craig's better than Pierce Brousin.

Yeah. Now, now, here's the interesting part with you. I have to put Timothy Dalton ahead of, of, I have to put Timothy Dalton ahead of George Lazenby and Pierce Brasen. For me? Yeah. You're correct. Okay. You've got my whole lineup figure. out at this point. And for me, I'm actually going to throw Pierce Bros.

And in next. Okay? All right. Which means that it's now between... Well, you know what? I have to say, I don't even know that I could put him below Laysenby. I think I love that movie more than I may like. The movie's great. The movie's great. And George Lazy'sby does a fine job. Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough one. He's a good man. He's a real tough one. This is tough. I don't know about that. But he does a fine job. Oh, Mike.

Well, you know the guests, Maria and Amanda that were on the casino around episode. They're great. You're having sex with one of them? Oh, geez. No, I'm not. I'm just kidding. Oh, yeah. They were nominated for Ghost Girls for a satellite award.

Great. It's very important. Apparently, a satellite award is sort of a vanity thing put together by a couple that doesn't put a ton of money into it. And so they showed up. And a lot of things were, you know, House of Cards was nominated, Breaking Bad and everything. but the only discernible celebrities that were there were Courtney Love and George Lasonby. And George Lazybe gave a speech

and he, with no segue, started talking about how he used to get laid on the set of Honor Majesty's Secret Service like he does any time he publicly speaks. Does he speak about anything else? No, that's just his bit. That's just his bit. That's like they sent me video, in fact. Oh, my God.

We are in for a treat. This is a James Bonding exclusive. music sting Katie thank you I know you didn't put it in in post but we thank you for your effort to look like you were trying we're gonna we're gonna plug this in this is oh boy George Lazenby here we go yeah so he comes up are they already recording when he as he's walking up like oh my god I gotta get no I think he's already speaking okay let's see what we get wait hold on I had a chance going to Dr. Noe. And coming out, I had about 20. I thought, geez, if I ever get a chance to play that guy, I'm going to get it.

I know what that's great enough. It was all about getting late. And then, yeah, I've got a few actors on the job, Telly for the Boll, and Diana Reg and all those people. They're all having a good time, so I decided to act a little longer. But I didn't want to do Jay Spont. want to do J-Spot because hippies were it. I go into a restaurant that's a waiter

because I had short hair and a suit on that I had to wear that gig. They were going to have bell bottoms and flowers and whatever. So I decided to grow a beer and get long hair and over get lost. I went selling for 15 months. I'm still in access. I can't help it.

I love it. And the business is, more than I even thought of us. I didn't know what acting was about until I spent 20 years in an acting class. And finding out that the writers really the real reason we look good.

And anyway, forget that. Let me talk about this. The winner of the satellite award goes to Star Trek Into Darkness. That's the best part. That's the best part. That was he had already opened the envelope.

The Salomeo War. Yeah. What was the category? It was for the most tinny microphone. But he's told that story about going to see Dr. Noe on a date going, I think I had a 70% percent going in and a 20% going out. Girls are going to love Connery or something. Oh, my God, it's amazing. That's great.

That is amazing and sad all at the same time. I've seen him speak, I think, three times, and he's told that story. It's hilarious. And you've got to love him for it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to. No, you do.

You do. So let's bang out the rest of this list here. All right. Where are you putting... So for you, recap your list for me very quickly. Favorites. Daniel Craig. Roger Moore, Connery, Dalton, Laysenby, Brosnan.

Wow. Brosnan does nothing for you. That's what you're saying here. What age were you when Golden Knight came out? He was in the prime of his fucking life. I was... You were angsty. You're angry.

I was two. 21. You were rebelling against the system at 21. 21 years old. Prime of your life. You're out of college. Fresh-faced, Matt Goreley, 95. Oh, I was 22.

So listen, a year ago you started drinking. Yeah. You're on a bender. Yeah. You can't deal with this guy in the theater. You hate him. It's all about the situation. I had not been.

You abandoned him. You abandoned James Bond. You didn't just abandon Pierce. Well, I felt it abandoned me. Whoa. Six-year gap, you can't handle that? Well, I can handle that. It's when it came back. It slowly started. Everybody else was doing it better. We've been through this on the podcast before. I don't want to catch how again. I need to, I need to understand. Okay, I will say, like, in a post-die-hard world. I want you to set the table. I want to know about 22-year-old Matt Goreley. All right. Where are you living? Long Beach at that point? I'm living in Long Beach. I got, like, surfing every day.

I got long grunge, what I think is grunge hair, but really because my hair grows in a weird way, it's more like Mary Tyler Moore hair. Jackie Kennedy. Jackie Kennedy. scoops out. Flips up on the side. So it's not just Mary Tyler Moore hair. Lightning, guys. It's a thunderstorm. Don't worry about it. Whoa.

That was huge. Yeah, all right. Also, could have been a transformer blowing up. It doesn't matter. We still have lights. The point is. That was Michael Bayes transformer blowing up. I have upset the Brosnan gods.

What have you made Pierce Brosnan mad? And he somehow controls thunder. Okay, so you're in Long Beach. You got grungy hair. You're surfing every day. It's not just Mary Tyler Moore hair. It's Laura Petrie hair. All the other.

Like, look at that hair. No, because I'm straight up listening to the cranberries and gin blossoms. So you're in your Volkswagen Passat. I'm going to just say it because you're now a spokesman. At this point, I'm driving a maroon Honda cord, oxidized roof. Oxidized roof on the Honda cord. Little Daffy Duckhead on the blinker thing. You got that surfboard on the top.

Never had it. Never that cool. Never that cool. So you're, oh my God, I kind of love this idea of finding out of a 20-year-old Matt Goreley. Okay. All right. This podcast just became more fun for me. I'm doing, I'm doing lots of theater.

You're doing lots of theater. You're doing, what are you doing? You're doing local presentations of death of a salesman? Nope, doing college productions of like as you like it, of mice and men. Yep. Good doing some summer Shakespeare like Tahoe. You were terrible, Lenny, I just want to say that. I was cast as George the bad guy.

Because I did comedy and the director was all real theater. And he's like, well, you got something to hide. Let's put you in. And then they curled my hair. Wow. And the other surfers were like, I don't like that. This guy's curling his hair now. He's not one of us, bro. How's he going to hang ten? So you're in, okay, so you're doing theater. Yeah.

Theater, is it fair to say Matt Gourley that theater is your first love? No. Okay. Is it your second? Is it above George lays in me or I'm alone? No, I loved theater at the time, and I currently still teach theater. Yeah, of course. But more, you know, improv has always been my thing in comedy and that sort of thing. So, the Harold.

Back then, there was no college improv, really. You just had to take theater. Well, how'd you get into, how'd you get into improv? In high school. I did it in comedy sports in high school and then joined comedy sports profession. Where was that? That was comedy sports. Lucerne and Whittier, what are you're California.

Wow. Yeah. No, this is a trick. Craig's a very good improviser. He does a lot of nights at the UCB. But I know a couple of people who do comedy sports, but does that still exist? Charlie Sanders used to do that

and a lot of UCB guys before long form took over. Yeah, but comedy sports just seems like that was the way to do it back in the day. It was back then, yeah, it really was. And some super, I mean, Dan Harmon, Rob Schrob came out of comedy sports

around the same time I did. We know each other from that. And, you know, great improvisers like Chris Tallman. There's, yeah. And then they all kind of, I think, eventually split off into other places nobody seemed to really soak with it. Christmas

1995. You're like, it's cold, it's too cold to surf. I can't get my board. I can't get a good wax on my board. It's not setting correctly because of the temperature outside. The brakes just aren't, you know. It's just, I'm in my own, my first apartment by myself where I live alone. You live alone. Your first time ever living alone? Of course you hate Pierce Bros. No roommate. It's a studio apartment in Naples, California. Ornia. What?

And it's tiny, but man, I worked on that thing and fixed it up. Yeah, you got the universal remote set up right away. Let me ask you this. You ever take a lady back there? Sure. Yeah, well, I had a girlfriend at the time, so that was easier than said. How long was this girl in your life? This was a long relationship on and off for seven years.

Wow, that is a doozy. It's a doozy of a relationship. Starting in college? Yep. Starting in 94, we met in Romeo and Juliet. Oh, I'm guessing you played Rose and Crances. and she played Gildes. That's correct.

She was Juliet, but I was Mercutio. Oh, okay. I like it a little different there. Did you get a little jealous every time if you kissed Romeo? You're like, this fucking... Yeah, you ever bite your finger at her? I wasn't too worried about Romeo. I wasn't too worried about Romeo.

Romeo was gay, is what we're saying. Whoa, that's an interesting theory. Did Shakespeare exist? We don't know. We don't know. No one really has any evidence. What we should be talking about? I fucking love now...

Here's my new podcast idea. You're still listening to James Bonding, but Craig and I have an interview show right now, and we're interviewing Matt Gourley because Matt... It's called... No, no, no. The show is just 1995, and we interview everybody about where they were...

Where, what their life was like in 95. Love it. That's a great idea. When you're a little thread, when you've worked it out, you have to ask me about junior high, my bond thing with junior high. I will.

Oh, that would be our 1990. That's our 1990. Which we don't record this week. It's alternating. I have a James Bond question for you guys because I know you're going to be taking questions eventually. I know that I'm not that. But I'm just throwing this question out. Daniel Craig, he's going to stop at some point.

He sure is. Let's say 10 to 12 years from now. Yeah. There's new bond. I think it'll be sooner than that probably. Okay, great. Whenever it is, who's the right guy for the job? That's the thing.

We get this question a lot. And it's so hard to say because they tend to, I, It depends on what age they want him to be. Yeah. This is kind of a big question. Like, you know, perpetually you think of James Bond, or at least I do, is a guy between 38 and 50. Yeah. That's sort of where you think James Bond is.

Now, what they did, you know, with Roger Moore, he was already like, you know, 45 years old when he took over the role. Timothy Dalton was probably 40 when he took over, right? I would think, yeah. Yeah, I mean, his hair looked it. Daniel Craig was 38. I think. Yeah. So you got to look,

it's kind of like the question of who's going to be the next doctor, who's going to be the next doctor, because they're both time lords. But the thing about it is, it's probably someone we don't know the name of yet. Yeah, as well it should be, they'll be too old.

That's kind of sort of the way that I think is. Shailaboof, that's the only person I think could do it. That's the only person I think could do it. And that's why I brought up the question. I just want to throw his name into that. King of the Beef. Shailaboof. I saw a golden.

and I with my girlfriend. Wait, hang on, we haven't gotten to this story yet. We're still setting you up. We're still learning about Naples. We're still getting that surf. We want to learn about 1995. All right.

So, uh, Weezer's self-type an album came out about a year before. Yeah, and I'm learning to play it on guitar. You're playing saying it so. You're just there. I'm playing a sweater song. Sweater song.

You're fucking on the beach. It's the easiest one. Yeah. By the way, Katie, you missed it. Craig and I have just started a new podcast called 1990 High Five, where we talk to our guests about what they were doing in 1995.

So it's still going to be released under the James Bonding moniker, but right now we're interviewing Matt Gourley, about 1995. Okay. So, Naples. What goes on there? Surf Town?

Naples is a part of Long Beach. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. It's like Venice, if Venice were really nice. And I'm not saying I lived in a nice area, but I did, but the only way I could was I lived in an apartment about the size of the size of the same.

studios, which is huge. Yeah, the studio is massive. We got a lot of comments on it. There's a panic room. It echoes a lot. It's a weird thing. Katie does an amazing job eliminating the echo because of how cavernous the space is. It's so big. There is no.

My shower had a window that was painted, and when you opened the window, it opened into the side of a wall. Like it just, it just like a hallway? Like maybe what once was an elevator shaft or a dumbwaiter shaft or something, it made no sense. It was part of a larger building. But Naples is beautiful. Would your parents call you and say, Matt, we're worried about you?

We haven't seen you in like two weeks. No, because I grew up in Whittier and was in school in Long Beach so I could drive home at any time. And you did often. Now we're learning a lot. Relatively often. How often would you go home? Would you say, Mom, Dad, I got to do some laundry? No, I would do that on my own, I think.

Did you have a laundry in the building? Did you walk? How did you get to the laundry place? It was nearby. I think I would dry. I knew it. You did. You said that before we started the podcast.

Yeah, I think so maybe I did take it home a little bit Favorite place to grab some grub Ooh You're grab it and you go right to the beach You're like half in the surf Gotta do this It would have to be taco surf Taco Surf

Taco Surf is this is the name of a place Yeah I was a regular there For many years You were on the reg I could like the only time in my life I've ever been a place where they know my name You know? That was your cheers

Yeah That in another bar Oh god there's another bond story Where I went after a bad breakup I went once a month I think I've told this story to this Irish bar and I would read a Bon novel have a corned beef sandwich

at deep fried Snickers bar and a Guinness every day for a month I took off all work and then went home and watched a Bond movie. Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you've never told the story. You're talking every day for a month. Yeah, I'm the fuck aren't you dead? What job did you have that you could do that?

I was, I just, you were the CEO of a Fortune 500. I didn't break, and this is what I was going to do. I was going to wake. The whole thing was I'm going to give myself a month with no commitments or no anything. Okay. So hang on. Yeah. We're going to take this back a little bit further.

Is this the seven years? This, is this relationship ends? Okay. So now you're older. Yeah. This happens later in your life. This is like 2006. 2006. This is fairly recent. Eight years ago, to the day.

It's about this time of year. Yeah, I know. I know. Okay. So, 2006. Uh-huh. Matt Gordley, you're, at this point, you're living in Los Angeles? No, uh-uh. Still in Long Beach, yeah. I'm in Belmont Shore, right? Living, oh, living in the best. A log cabin right on the water. Log cabin right on the water? Is this a place when you're living here, right? Is this when you'd make your commute to Disneyland? Uh-huh. Okay. And I was teaching at Riverside City College.

So teaching, teaching theater at Riverside Community College, driving, taking the commute from Long Beach to Anaheim. Yeah. And Riverside. And Riverside. That's a lot of driving. So how's your Honda Civic holding up at this point? At this point, I'm driving a Saturn View, a black Saturn. Oh, Saturn V-U-E? That's a van, everybody? Yeah. I had a scale.

No, it's not a van. It's kind of a van. It's kind of a van. It's kind of a van. No, it was their sport U. It looked like a Honda-C-R-V but made by Saturn. It's the most minivan a sport utility vehicle could look. Yeah, and it's kind of, kind of why Saturn no longer. exists. Maybe. Wait, how much

good car, though? How much weight did you gain in a month where you ate? We're not there yet, Chris. You should say that, though. We just saw the lightning. Cool. Oh, my God. Did he run in here to tell us?

Oh, wow. I was so bummed out from this breakup that I weighed 123 pounds. And so I... So that was your... You did that for your health. In a sense, because I was also, for the first time of my life, just going to the gym, and so I was just trying to put weight back on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you, what do you pull, what do you run out of an air? 155. What do you bench? I was going to say buck 60. Oh, yeah. Oh, you bench your own way. No, I don't. You're like an eighth of an aunt.

I just, I can, uh, one hand push myself up. Oh, that's good. Just, that's perfect. Jack Palance. Jack Palance can do that. We've seen it. We've been to the Oscars. He can anymore.

Well, we don't know. Cosmically. Uh, he's actually, he, he keeps the earth moving. He's just constantly pushing it as a ghost. Um, okay. So the girl, the girl, the girl, the girl, This girl, how long are you in a relationship with this girl for? About seven years.

Seven years. So you do these seven-year relationships. Well, at the time. On the reg. Lucky seven. Well, they were really off and on. Yeah. Really often on.

Okay. Here we go. I don't know. I think we got to do some bonds. Eh, we're getting there. It's all a little tie up. What is an off-and-on relationship to a man, to a younger Matt gorely? That's the problem.

It's a younger Matt gorelly. You're a very happy relationship right now. And I wouldn't wish a younger Matt goreley on anybody. Okay. Are you saying, are you taking the blame for this? Because I feel like it might be some her fault. No, I'll take the blame. Okay.

Yeah. Why? What was wrong with you? Why don't you say to me as if I'm her what happened? Please, Craig. Craig, do the voice. Come on. Come on.

What's happening? Annabel? He's been practicing he knew. Oh, my gosh. That's me. It's a little Mario right there. That's me. That's Annabelle.

Angelica? Uh, so, okay. Okay, so often, what is it off and on relationship like for you for seven years? How do you, how do you say often on for seven years? Matt? Say it in terms of James Bond. Well, let's just say that I had the non-committal lifestyle of James Bond. I was never not virtuous or anything, but I didn't want to be in a committed relationship.

So you had a fear of commitment. It wasn't a fear. I just didn't want to. You were terrified of commitment. I just, no, I wanted to be also committed. Because you were, your second lady was Disneyland. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I was so committed to doing improv at Disney.

Oh, boy. Take us through a little bit. Just for Craig's purposes, I keep seeing a Java, and there's a life size, or Jawa-sized Jawa, to the left of the studio window, and you look to your left and you just, out of the glimpse of your eye, you fear for your droid safety immediately.

Yeah. So, okay, let's take, take, take, us through for Craig's benefit. Please. And also, I just love a refresher course on your Disneyland time. This is my favorite podcast we've ever done. Okay. Let me tell you that the job I had there first was the best job

I'll ever have in my life. Because when they opened California Adventure, they have this restaurant called the ABC Soap Opera Bistro. You worked at the ABC Self Opera Bistro? Oh my God. I was telling, I tell everybody who goes to California Adventure with me, I point at what is now the Disney Toon

town, whatever the fuck. It's like the Disney, oh, it's the Disney Jr. Yeah, blues, clues or some sort. So it's just this thing now. It's just this like take kids in there and they'll get to meet Handy Mani. But I always point at it and I say, do you know what that was when this place opened? And I will now explain it to you. ABC, the network, parent company Disney.

Whoa. Very popular for their soap operas. Sure. As the world turns. Life after death. No, one life to live, general hospital and all. my children. Those were the ABC soap operas, okay? I know them well. My mother was an ABC soap fan. She still watches them on the app. So they had a restaurant. You'd go and you'd have

dinner. Yeah. But while you're having dinner, uh-oh. Some drama's going to happen. Some soap opera drama is going to be developing around you. Yeah. And now what you're telling me, Matt, and I wasn't aware of this. You were one of the actors involved in the soap opera drama. And so this job was a union job and you'd work about 10 minutes on the hour dressed in comfy doctor scrubs. I was working with Aaron Hayes from Children Hospital. Of course, yeah. It was so many great people and we just, and you'd go in and they'd go, all right, I know your shift starts at 10 a.m., but we're not opening the restaurant until 5, so just go ride some rides for a while or whatever. It was the best.

And now this is California Venture when it opened, Craig, I'm going to, I'm addressing everything. Now, opened in 2000. One, 2001. Close enough. January. January 2001, so it had nine months before everyone got scared of going to theme parks. Yeah, and it wasn't doing so well.

It wasn't doing so well then. California Adventure had a severe attendance problem. Yeah. Like, they opened it up and they're like, we're going to get 100,000 people in here, or 90,000 people a day. And it ended up being something like 19,000 people a day. That's like not as much. No, not nearly as much. So what would happen is there, and there are videos, and I encourage anybody who's...

Craig represents the every man listening to this podcast. I'm on your side, guys. Incredulity. There's some interesting, there are some fun little videos you can watch on YouTube of people taking vacation videos in California Adventure

and it looks like they're in an abandoned amusement park. Well, why don't you just YouTube up the superstar limo ride because that was a... Disaster. It was like a fantasy land ride where you just go through one of those swirling car tracks, but it was supposed to be that you just arrived at the airport into Hollywood and you're due for your big break

and your agents trying to get you there. And then they license the likeness of a bunch of Hollywood celebrities. Drew Carey. Joan Rivers. Whoopi Goldberg, who has like rope hair. Yeah. And the best part was they had Tom and Nicole, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. And right when the ride opened, they broke up.

So they switched their heads with Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas. The hottest couple there is. And the best part was when you get to the end, like a roller coaster, they take your picture. But instead of like, whoa, this is great, you have this look of. What the fuck was that on everybody's face? It is Mulholland madness? Wasn't that part of it or was that what it was called? That's what they named a roller coaster, right?

Yeah, one of the kid coasters. Can I say that I like that? You call them Tom and Nicole. But, well, when you worked at Disneyland, I worked with him. A testament to them, we knew who he was talking. I honestly didn't. I'm to every man. Sorry.

Again, you're ever. Thank you for being here. But now, here's the other thing you didn't explain about this. These were puppets. These were animatronic puppets that looked like the Phil Collins' Genesis. Oh, my God. Yeah, so it was just weird. They didn't look anything.

It was insane. Google it. Google it. Google it. Google it. Google it. So you were always a doctor at this ride? Well, doctor was the coveted costume because it was the most comfortable and easy to get into.

The other options were a millionaire where you'd wear a smoking jacket and NASCAR. Why is that not the most coveted? Well, that one was fine. It made sense. the other one for the guys for some marine was a cop, but like a, like 1920s royal blue kind of, hey, what you're doing, you're shalai. So I was always a doctor.

I just, we just, the people I would work with Aaron every weekend and another guy named Ken Parks, who was great, and we just didn't care that everybody's supposed to be something different. All three of us would be doctors and just. Well, that makes sense. Doctors would have drama with each other. Yeah. So then I did this improv show that was a lot like,

whose line is it anyway, on this stage out there, the Department of Untapped Hilarity. Duh. Okay. Wow. And then my last, the last thing I did there, well, I did the Bluegrass Billy Hill and the Hillbilly show a little bit, and then I did this laughing stock cowboy sketch show, and then I did Push the Talking Trash Can.

Have you ever heard of this? Yes, I'm familiar with Push the Tash Can. That was a great job, too, because you would just wear your own. Were you in control of Push? Uh-huh. So you also got to drive him as well as speak for Push. Yeah, it was just like a regular metal trash can that you would hide in the crowd with your hand in a bag

with a remote control in there and it would move this robotic trash can that looks like a normal trash can and then just talk in your hand and it would put your voice to the trash can. Yeah. What was it called again? Push the talking trash can. Why is it called push? Because that's the name you got to push on the door. It says push on it.

I'm into it. He's every man. And also you could throw trash in it. What does the word push mean? It's based on a novel by Sapphire. Okay. Empucho. This get to know Matt Goreley situation right now. And so now you know that Amanda and I, we sold a show to Fox based on our time at Disney because she was a princess there.

Whoa. This is amazing. Yeah. This is amazing. What's the name of it? It's called Wonderland. It's as if that's basically Disneyland. Yeah.

If Disneyland didn't exist. I'm buying it. It's already purchased. No, no, no. Fox owns it. What do the, how much would it take to get it off of their hands? Well, they gave us $23. I'll give you $23.

Really? Yeah. Okay. We'll break you. Even. You're going to break even. It's perfect. Okay, so here's, okay, now this is 2006. 2006 is the year you're doing this. This is interesting because 2006, isn't that also the year Casino Royale comes out? Yes. That is very interesting. So when I'm reading these Bond novels, the first time I've ever read Casino Royale, and it was right around that time that they announced Daniel Craig, and I was the only person I knew going, this is perfect, this guy's great. He suits this novel so well. We're coming off these Brosnan's, which I wasn't a fan. And I was, and I was, In. In. So you're, you got a g-as.

You got a fried Snickers bar. Deep-fried Snickers bar. After the corned sandwich. After the corned beef sandwich. And it's slathered in coffee ice cream. Would you always have corned beef sandwich or would you get corned beef and cabbage? No, I just went full autism spectrum and just went, give me the same thing every day. I want no change in.

And at one point, at what point did the staff of the restaurant become concerned? They were enablers at, you know. Did they love seeing you? Yeah, I mean, I just had, just had. I knew the bartender there. She was a great, great woman, and we just... You ever... Yeah, what's the same?

There you ever take that. This is also the time when we started Super Ego, so everything was... My life was coming back together. It culminated. Yeah. Culminated in the very, very fine podcast, Super Ego. Yeah.

Which I've never been asked to do. So... We haven't recorded it since I've known you. That's fair. So, okay. 2006 you have a bad breakup and then you discover the novels of Ian Fleming. Yes.

Here's how it started, because of the breakup, I'm going, I'm going to read every Shakespeare play. Within days, I'm going, I'm going to watch every Bond movie. That is the better way to go about it. It really is. And at the time, the DVDs were out of print. So there were certain Bond movies I couldn't get at Blockbuster. And I had to actually, I had a thing where I had a student bring me some.

I had to watch a couple of VHS. Isn't that sort of crossing the line? Did you fuck the student? No. Have you ever? No. Did you fuck the DVD? It's college.

You could do that. Well, I'm, I'm, no. It's college. Can't you do that? No. It's community college. Can't you do that? Hang on.

Why? You're adults. I'm absolving myself from this group. Yeah, I'm out of here. You're both leaving the conversation? Yeah. Yeah. Katie.

Katie. Question. Get on this microphone for one second. You guys. Hang tight. I'm going to talk to Katie for a second. I'm not even in the room anymore. It's great. It's great.

Katie, welcome. Welcome to 1995. High five. In 2009. High five. 2006. Yep. Okay.

Now, don't influence her answer here. Okay. Do you think it is okay for a college professor to hook up with a college student? I don't know. It depends what year is the college student. Let's say they're 18. Oh. Freshman year. How old's the professor?

Matt was the way. Well, at that time, I would have been... 33. 32. No, no, no. 33. All right. But under 35.

Young, handsome, strapping, looking at 150 pounds of fury. Wait, is that right? No, I'm 27. I thought that's one. I was correct. You were 20... Oh, no. You were 33.

33. Okay, 33. Larry Bird's number. All right? Jesus. One behind Nolan Ryan. Basketball Jesus died. Basketball Jesus.

Larry Bird. So you're 33 years old, 18 years old. What do you think? I think that's a big age difference. It's not that big. But... I would feel weird. You're saying no.

I think it would be a little weird. The maturity levels are so different. And the bigger deal to know... It's one of the... It's one thing if you find an 18-year-old that you somehow magically relate to or something, which I don't think is going to happen. But while you're teaching that class, that's not a good idea. Yeah, no.

That's not a good idea. That's not a good idea. I don't think it's not illegal. It's not illegal. But the college bylaws. No, some schools. What frowned upon? Yeah.

I know teachers that have. Oh. Yeah, well, you always hear about it. Yeah. I don't know. I would say, no. Where'd you go to college? Cal State Monterey Bay.

That's... What were you doing? Marine biology? No, I was doing film. Those are like film and marine biology. They're too big ones, though. Where were you in 1995? I was 10 years old.

I was in Santa Fe, Montereo, California. 1995. One year after the Weezer blew out. Katie's there, setting the stage for you. Kurt Cobain already dead for almost a year. My sister already had both of those posters up. It was like him, you know, older than him, the baby picture. What about the one?

What about the one? that is the diner at night, and it's got Jimmy Hendricks. Boom, Marilynne. Green's right? Isn't that Boulevard of Broken Green? I think so. Oh, yeah. Is that Hoppers? She should have had that. I mean, I could have got a posters plus in the mall.

So, 1995 or 10 years old. 10 year old, Katie Levine, what is your favorite movie at 10 years old? Oh, God. Gold and I. At 10. 10 years old. What do you like? Curly Sue. I'm going to put this back in the

VHS player. I'm going to hit play again. I hope this. It doesn't wear out. Ah, good answer. Absolutely. Good answer. Well, now this may give you some insight on things. Yeah.

You gave a Jurassic Park. I was blown away by the effects and everything, but still, at that age, you're just pre-sposed to walk out going like, that was really shitty. What the fuck is your problem? No. I am reconsidering all of this. Hold on. Watch it again. That movie starts with a paleontologist telling other paleontologists about how dinosaurs might be related to birds.

You would presume that they would have known. No. It's all there for bad exposition for the audience. Yes. At that point, let's go back in time. We're in 1995. The blue album came out one year before. This has been known since at least the 70s, all this stuff.

This theory has been proposed. It was not the most popular theory. But in the 90s, this was purely for just the common man. Craig backed me up on this year. Hey, listen. However, here's what I'll say to you. It's not a well-written movie. Here's what I will say to you.

He's explained. this to a shitty 10-year-old kid. They use it for that, but there's other scientists that don't believe them, you know, that are like, what? I can't even, because there's some old school teaching in there. It's just lazy screenwriting.

They did know then back then? Yes, yeah. They've known for years. But was it common knowledge? It wasn't, for a 10-year-old. It wasn't. But no, he wasn't talking to the 10-year-old

about that. He's just talking to 10-year-old about, like, lashing him with the- He's talking to Ellie Statler. Right. Who is the other one? paleobotanist. Okay?

Not a paleontologist. Look, I like the movie, too. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's worth. I'm reconsidering everything right now. But let's say, also, I'm not necessarily right. I just want people to acknowledge that there is this black hole of five years in your 20s where you just don't like things, you know? I liked everything in my 20s.

You didn't go through one of those periods? Flash flood warning, guys. Wow. You've never seen that? We get that a lot of. We get that every time it rains in Los Angeles, there's a flash flood warning. Can I just say you should host your other podcast, Jurassic Snark? I'm just going to say it.

Okay, so 1995. Katie's enjoying Jurassic Park. Very good thing to enjoy at that point. You know what's crazy, though? I'm going to go home and we bought the 3D version of that movie, and we're going to watch that tonight. That's a great way to spend a Friday night, especially in the rain. It's my rainy day movie. That's why I love rain.

I'm not saying I don't like the movie. just saying it's not it's not a you're just saying what you're saying is you were a shitty person in your 20s yeah I think that's

probably true you were just like fuck everything I'm gonna hit the waves I'm gonna hit the waves I'm just gonna surf I'm just gonna surf my troubles away let I want my hair

to do a tube like yeah like the waves do yeah you know what I love I love when I get my hair in salt water and I come out and it dries and it feels that weird texture I wish there was a product

that could put in my hair that would do that but then when I take a shower there's that there's that there's that extra sand in the under part of the baby suit This episode isn't going up. Yes, it is.

No, come on. This is. This is useless. This is our favorite episode. No. This is useless. Matthew goarly. We are putting this episode up.

Under protest. Put it out on maximum fun. Macnumum fun. We'll be at Max FunCon. Just kidding. All right. Thank you, Katie, for joining us. You're welcome.

You're welcome. It's been a... pleasure having you on this podcast. We're now going to revert to our regularly scheduled James Bonding. Wait, I have to tell you this thing about when I was in junior high. I was so into James Bond. Hang on. Hang on.

What? That's our other podcast called 1980 Heaven. Oh. And Craig and I are a host of that as well. And we'll welcome you on to that right now. Welcome to 1988 heaven. Hi. where we're talking to Matt Goreley about what it was like in junior high,

which was, what year was that? I don't remember. So that'd be what? A couple years after Vita would kill or right around Vita would kill? Yeah, probably 87 maybe. Welcome to 1980s. That's exactly right. We nailed it.

Craig, thanks for being here on your podcast. You co-host. Yep, that's me. Let's talk to you about 1987. So my mom got remarried, and that's the first. time I'd ever been in a suit, and so I strapped a gun in a shoulder holster underneath it, and was in the wedding with a little gun in a shoulder holster inside my suit. What?

That's awesome. Now, this, I assume... It's not awesome. It's not a real gun, no. It's like one of those mini metallic cap guns. So now, this was seven years before the blue album came out. Yeah. Just to give you a little bit of perspective.

Weezer's Blue album, probably just a glint in Rivers' question. Cuomo's eyes. You know, we're not there yet. He's not really forming ideas. Maybe he's got a little bit of a guitar part for undone. The sweater song, maybe that's working on a set. He's still working about holiday. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. So you put a, you put a, where did you get a shoulder holster? It was actually a leather case for a Swiss Army knife, but I had a little cap gun that fit in it so well. And then I took an elastic boot lace and tied it around my chest. What the fuck? sixth grade. I'm trying to think if I would do something like that in sixth grade.

I might. I also missed my eighth grade graduation to stay home and figure out how electronic squib blood packs worked. What? And I did. When did you get a girlfriend? Well, that's the thing is it wasn't like I was... You were doing okay? I did okay. I did okay. I did okay. Whoa. There was a real spot.

Well, there was a real spot in high school where I didn't grow at the rest of the rate. So I stayed about five feet while everybody else grew a foot or so. Yeah. And there was a real dry spell there. Wow. I was just a little guy. But I mean, I, I was, I, I'm pushing six feet now, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Craig. Do you have any thoughts on 1987? Was, uh, empty nest on at that time? Probably was, I like that. Golden girls were your big Golden Girls fan at that time. Uh, I was, what's Matt goarly? I'm going to say, 1987 Matt Goreley's favorite television program is, Cheers.

Robotech. Robotech. I don't know what that is. Robotech was a, you know, was it on CBS? No, it was syndicated. So it was like here it was like, you know, 11 or 13 or something.

It was like a... I haven't heard... I haven't heard Robotech. Oh, I love it. In so many years. It was the first serialized cartoon where people would die and I just...

And then shit would happen because that would affect you the next week. Do you see why I got snobby? Because even my young cartoons were like adult issues, you know. 1987, two years after Back to the Future comes out, where are you a big fan?

Back to the Future? Yeah, I liked it, but I wasn't a crazy fan. I did. But I was reading those original black and white ninja turtles and then collecting like Dark Night Returns and watching. So you'll never be on our podcast, Laugh to the Future. Yeah, because that is a real podcast. I will.

Life to the future, what we're going to, we're just, what we do is we improvise scenes. We don't know which character we are when we start the podcast. And it's just in the world of Back to the Future. Yeah. And we just have to like sort of figure out what's happening, you know? Yeah. You might get Jules.

He might get Vern. And then I'm like, maybe I'm Doc Brown. And then I've got to take my kids. Where am I taking them? You know, where am I taking them? I don't know. We'll figure it out. Okay.

And the audience will send us suggestions. Welcome back to James Bonding, everybody. Holy shit. I can't wait for you to not like this podcast and then tell us about it. It's fine. Well, let's say one thing about that. Yeah. Some people wrote on Twitter when last episode we said, hey, back off when we do new episodes.

And people were like, hey, sorry for your liking the show. And I would like to specifically say that it, that you are, that's not the problem. We really appreciate that. There was just a few really vocal people that were saying some really strange, weird, and mean things. And so if we didn't clarify that, that was meant towards those outliers, please thank you for listening. Yeah, this is not what we're doing. This is not for the outliers.

I know who you're talking. This is for the tipping point. This is the other Malcolm Gladwell book. This is for the people that have 10,000 hours. of James Bond listening experience. That's, that's correct. Okay, here we go. Here's some James Bonding questions.

Craig, this is addressed to you as well. They're all addressed to all three of us. Here we go. If you can make your own Bond film using only prior characters and actors, what would it be? This is an excellent question. This is coming to us from Linus Sanderson, whose Twitter handle is at Angry underscore MIME. So you pick your favorite money, penny, favorite M, Frientney, Frient, all right. Wow.

So here's a little bit of money, money, pay your money, money, penny, favorite M, Frived, all right. Wow. Wow. So, so here's a lot. what I'm doing. Ready? Yeah. Lois Maxwell is my money penny. Yeah, I think we're going to be very...

She's always going to be my money penny. Yeah, same here. Same here. You know who I'd like to see her interact with? That blonde fella, Daniel Craig. Yeah. I'm in. This is where I was heading. All right. I bet you they're all the same.

Bernard Lee is our M. Yeah. Right? Yeah. The original M, he's M. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's just how it's going to be. Q as well. Q, of course. Desmond Llewellyn. Desmond Llewellyn? What year, Desmond Llewellin?

This is where we might differ. I love young Desmond Llewellyn. I am a huge fan of old Desmond Llewellyn. Yeah, well, I like him too. I mean, cue card reading Desmond. Shaky hands. Chew card reading, shaky hand, bruised thumbnail Desmond Morrow. He does.

There's one of them where he says something. He probably like had just closed it and then Ashton Martin's door. That's so evocated like that. You know that. The image is happens. Are we, here's my question to you. Have we just dropped Daniel Craig? into Goldfinger.

Basically, I'm trying to think of what villain. Not if you add jaws into it. What villain and henchmen and Bon Girl are you going to put in there? I'll do Vesperlind. Vesperlind, of course. We're just seeing Daniel Craig and Vesperlund again. That's right. I could use more of that.

Villain, I'm going to go. Oh, I was last night when I was at the review, Mads Mickelson walked right by me, Le Schiff. Did you say anything to him? No, he was wearing a hat and he was with about 30 family members that looked exactly like him, women and children. What the fuck were they doing at Andy Daly's party? Well, it was at the Sky Bar at the Hotel Mondrian. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Do you know who's on the Nerdist podcast next week? Who? Eva Green. What? Yeah. Vesper Lynn. What? You're just telling me this now?

Yeah, it just got scheduled like yesterday. But it's happening. Don't you need me? to be the... Not only do I want to be there, but I need you guys all to leave. Here's the fun part about that. It's being recorded on a Wednesday,

or no, on a Tuesday at 1 p.m. I will not be able to make it. Oh, don't they need me to sit in your stead? They should have a mat, right? Not only that, but a mat who can talk bond and a mat who can be real creepy. Yeah. Oh, you're nailing all my own traits

and you're fitting them perfectly. But yeah, so that's pretty exciting stuff. We'll be on the Nerdist podcast. But we do need to pick a villain, and I'm going to have to say the villain I would pick is probably... This is a tough one.

I got a few. Oh, done. I've done it. Ready? Yeah. It's Robert Shaw's character. Well, I was going to pick him, but he's a henchman.

Yeah, but he's really the main... Yeah. He's really the main... I think you can, if you want, get more bang for your buck, you can put them in the henchman category or the main villain. All right, let's make him the henchmen. Let's make him, okay, so. Because I'm thinking Christopher Walken made me.

Really? Zorin? Yeah, I love Zorin. He's going Zoran from a view to a kill. Am I, though? And I'm going to have to disagree with him on this. This is where we depart. Okay.

And I'm going to go ahead and... Oh, well, Canang is good, too. Canang is great. Canang is great. Christopher Leescaramonga's good. Canang is great, though. Yeah. It is.

Let's put cananga in there. Cananga. Cananga? Cananga? Cananga? I also really like Lechief. I thought that guy was great. Lechieff's excellent.

But we can't have Vesperlin, Daniel Craig, and Lechief. Because we've just made Casino Reale and just replaced the Amin and the money penny. I'm into it. Okay. That's our answer. Either way. And I'm just going to do the plot of true lies.

Okay. This comes into us from... Ben Reinhert. Ben asks, is at Ben 5, Rynart. At Ben 1-5, Reinerd asks us, which Bond has the best chest hair? There is only one answer to this.

His name is Sean Connery. I'd love to rub my hand through that. Yeah, that that thatch. Oof. Can you imagine somebody gets to do that? Him. Yeah. Leanne Olson. All right.

I'm going to favorite. If your tweet got favored by me, it meant that we asked your question on the air. grew up with more and have never been able to watch a hold Dalton I'm 40 do I have to Leanne

no you don't have to watch I think you should do living daylights and then see what you think I do in my brain my remembering of the movies the living daylights I enjoy as a film I think that's a really good fun film

without a bad end you can do it with another activity going on you know at least license to kill If you're cooking a dinner and you have it on the background, that's a good movie. If you're turning cocaine into gasoline, you can just have... Which is definitely something that really exists. Cogate into gasoline. Fuck the plot of that movie.

Grumpy Humbug asked which movie had the best cinematography, which we've already discussed. And the answer, of course, is, I guess. This comes to us from Kyle, K.J. Weasel. Yeah, the wees. 97.4 of the weeds. Wes Anderson recently said he wanted to do a Bond movie. Is that something you'd want to see? Hmm. Do a short.

Yeah. Do a Bond short. Do one of those 10-minute iTunes movies. Hey, man. I'm there. Love it. I'm there. I'll check that answer.

Yeah. Matt, thanks for agreeing with Craig. Well, there's no reason to think he couldn't do it. He obviously couldn't do it in this style. He does it in, but I've never seen him do a movie that isn't in that style, so it'd be interesting. Here's one from James Leach. Yes. In a Real Life, Christ.

would you want the assistance of Bond or Jason Bourne? And if Bond, which one? In a real life crisis? So like a real life that actually happens to you? Like, like, oh my God, this girl broke out with me and I'm constantly eating this sandwich and... Because in that case, well, I don't see how I need any of them. I think I'm doing pretty well. What does that mean?

It's like shit, we went shopping, but we forgot the limes. Okay, so, well, here, let's, I'll put it like this. We're in a hostage situation in a bank. Who do we want to be there? I think... I'll take Daniel Craig's James Bond. But here's the thing. Born is one of those guys where no matter what situation,

it's locked in his brain, he can get you out. He can always kick through a door and immediately figure out what the next thing is. Yeah, but we might not know what he just did because we can't see anything he's doing. I think it also depends more on who's writing the movie that we're in. This is a real-life situation. Oh, sorry. Favorite casino wing. This comes to us with Kyle.

Kyle Veezy. A lot of Kyle's. Yeah. At O'DL-A-S-E-L-A-Y-S 77 on Twitter. He asks us, favorite casino scene. Good question. Yeah, good question. Because there is a lot of, there's a lot of Baccarat. Well, that... There's a lot of poker.

That Connery first line is great. Just, that's the best introduction you'll ever see. Yes. But I love the... I love the game in Casino. Yeah. What? The Indian Casino. I mean, the...

actual in India. The backgammon? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. I enjoy the backgammon game again in Octopussy. And I like the one where he orders a drink. Here's a question that Craig asked, me in the car.

Oh, yeah. Because we do talk about this for some reason. It comes up. He asked me, are all martini is now shaken for the most part because of James Bond? Because he says shaken, not stirred, but I've never ordered a martini where it's been stirred.

And the traditional. way to prepare a martini pre-James Bond movies was to stir it. And that's why this was revolutionary and you didn't make it much with vodka, right? Gin, there's also gin. Yeah, well the Bond martini is gin and vodka

but I think it was yeah because gin's made from potatoes I believe and that was like wasn't that Ian Fleming was snobby about it or something and so he shakes it because it gets colder quicker. Yeah. Something like that. But now

I think traditionally they're all mostly. Whenever I see a martini prepared, it's shaken. Yeah. Unless you go to some bar that has Edison light bulbs. And it's funny, too, because it was really Casino Royale when that came out, that they started calling them Vesper martinis again. Yeah. They were just martini or like a Bond martini or something.

Yeah, that's true. Were we out somewhere? I'm trying to think of those. You or I ordered a martini somewhere, like an old-fashioned martini, and it came out. And I'm just thinking in my head, I'm like, I was going to be a gin martini. uh you know and it came out and it was a vesper

yeah it was interesting interesting you remember where it was a lemon twist on this one comes to uh us from rob downs rb down 73 he says uh should they drop the quantum group story and just go back to spectre since they have the rights back

no i'd like quantum i'd like a little and quantum is spectre it can be well you know quantum can be the under like the like it's not the parent company the parent company Specter should be Disney because also Spector is a ridiculously shitty acronym. It's such a stupid name. Do you know

what Spector stands for? No, remind me. It stands for Special Special Executive Special so SP Right right special Executive Counterterrorism and Extortion

Revenge and extortion Revenge and extortion Revenge and extortion So you don't need it so that's great But that seems so very 60s and there's nothing great name for an enemy enemy it's evocative quantum leap real sleepy by the way that's a good name I would name a daughter eminy

oh I thought you can say quantum no I'm gonna do that quantum eminy junior this isn't going up right this is going up I'm sorry it's going up there's no need to comment on the shittiness of this episode you know even here's what we'll do we'll even throw this up over the weekend okay and that way it doesn't go up as a regular sort of episode this is a dozen cameras a very special episode make it

limited edition. You get it for a week. You know what? And actually what we'll do is we're going to record after this. Remind me, we'll record an intro talking about this episode. All right. Because I think it's fair to tell everybody what happens.

Sounds good. This one comes from Herodidna Day. Yeah, Herodinidae. Yeah, herdine today. Whose Twitter handle is at Della Cizzle. D-E-L. We're not laughing at your name, just at how I pronounced it. She's such a fan of touch by a-o-o-S-I-E-E-E-L-S-I-E-E-E-E-E. S-L-E

It's Della Reese's Sizzle reel. Della Cizzle. Yeah, I ended it that once in 1999 and it stuck. It's probably where you know me from. Unwin movie.

She says, your suggested future Bond Girl character names. Ooh, we can get real punny with this. That's great. For a while, I've been trying to pitch a hashtag to At Midnight,

rejected Bond movies and rejected Bond characters. And no one's been on board, but I guarantee you, you'll see it soon enough because we'll wrap on a hashtag. suggested future bomb girl names. So here's some real examples

that we can get started with. Holly Goodhead. Sylvia Trench, which we realized we all had the realization was a bonn. That was a vagina that we're talking about. Xenia on a top, pussy galore. I would like them to go back to the books

and just take some of the regular names that haven't used. Like Moonraker, they got Gallabrand. That's a good name. Galabrand is great. I'm going to name, see, I'm going to name a bond girl. I go. Clitina.

Glatina. Gonorrhea. Clotina gonorrhea. She'd be a real nasty. She just goes by Tina. I have any Cesar license, and he goes, Clitina. There's a hench woman named Vigianta.

Vigianta. She's a large Amazonian type woman. I mean, that's real. No. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, because you said there is one. I was like, no.

And I'm going to have to say... Or vagina dentata. Yeah, I'm going to have to say... With metal vagina teeth, like jaws. She just called jaws, but it's the re-burn brother. Lady B. Yeah. She's a regal, and it's labia.

You say it fast enough. Lady Bia. Lady Bia. Great, we're favoring that one. Do you guys have a favorite Bond mistake that was kept in a film? and he thinks we missed this one in diamonds are forever. I'm going to take a look right now.

Is it the wheel coming off the motorcycle? Yes, it is. Yeah. We know all about it. This comes across Paul Weller. Paul is at Paul W-E-L-L-L-E. Paul Weller, the musician? At P-A-U-L-W-E-L-L-A-R.

Okay. Favorite bond mistake has to be the guy in the camera in Man of the Golden Gun. I found one in Live and Let Die. Wait, what's the man in the camera? There's just a shot of a mirror. and you can see the crew. Well, they're in a fight, and they turn it on accident, and just the whole crew shows up in the mirror,

and they're kind of like that. That's great. And they left it in the day. You found it in Living and Live and Die? Yeah, in the train fight at the end, there's a point where you can see the cameraman in the glass. Wow. Yeah, love it.

They just, Guy Hamilton wants to be in those movies so badly. He leaves the mistakes in. I think in one of the Pierce Brosnan ones, there's a scene where you don't, you might not see it, but he just had shit his pants, and you can just see their shit everywhere. Well, tomorrow never dies is just a mistake, but leave it in. All right.

We're going to do three more questions. And then we're going to wrap this baby up. Yeah. This one comes to us from mutual friend, Josh Flom. Oh. I was going to, I was just going to suggest that one. I didn't know you knew Josh. Josh worked with me on attack of the show.

That's right. Josh feels like he's responsible for this podcast. How would I not know that? That's how I know you. That's how we met. That's how we met. True Josh. I absolutely knew that.

And that was... And that was he said to me, this is how this happened. Yeah. He said to me, you know, Matt Gourley from Super Ego. I'm like, yeah, yeah. He goes, he's a big James Bond man.

He should pitch him for the segment. I said, yeah. Oh, God, bless you. I never been fast friends ever since. Josh, Josh Flam said, let's get him on, and then here we go. Josh's a good guy. Josh says, do you think James Bond

will be just as popular if his name was Bitsy Chumdog? That's a great question. No. Bitsy chumdog. Now, here's the thing. think about it the name's chumdug bitsy chumdug

pretty good ring to it there's some nice you see I when I originally oh Ian's here only when I originally conceived of the character I called him bitsy chumdug is that it yeah yeah no that's what we're saying here

Bitsy chumden Now what made you Well I was dating a wo man Who was named Bitsy Chimdagra of the Hampton Newhampton South Hampton West East

North Hampton, Chumdog was. So she got around the Hampton. I believe she did let me tell you. She was... Eternally humans. Did you meet her on the island? Did you meet her on the island? Of course.

I was asking if you met her on the island of Jamaica or in the Hampton. Yes, you sort of met her everywhere you went. You know, she was that type of well man. And she had a frost about her eyes in a cataract sort of way that makes you think she's willing to go for it. Sure, sure. Now, Ian, was she an older lady? Or was she just sort of... tail with all the liver spots, you know.

That usually is an indication that she's old. Well, there's so many that it obscured her actually. Belied her wisdom was beyond her years. This is going to be strange because, you know, every time you visit me. Yes. Matt Goreley, my co-host. Who is this? He's this

wonderful guy. He actually co-hosts. He always talk of him, but he's gone. He always leaves as soon as you show up. I don't know what to say. This is very strange. And someday, I hope, I hope someday you can meet him. I don't know how. two, he sounds like a roguishly handsome chap dashing. Do you know that for a month?

What? Ian, he would sit in a pub and read your books. Well, I like him already. Every day for a month. Do you know what Snickers are? No, are they like a Mars bar? Yes, they're very much like a Mars bar. I see. Here's what he would consume, and I just want Ian, I want your opinion on this situation.

He'd recently broken up with a lady. Oh, I've been there. His own Bitsy Chumdug. Oh, Bitsy. Yes, of course. And now, what he would do is he just wanted to, he didn't want to do anything. So for 30 days.

Yes. He would go into this pub. I see. Every night, consume the same thing. A Guinness, a pint of Guinness. Oh, you could do worse. Put a little champagne in there. Black velvet.

That sounds great. I didn't even know that was a drink, but thank you for sharing that. It's in the man with the golden gun. I'm loving it. Look atop. Look at top. I think they call it black and tan or black velvet. I can't remember.

It is different here than it is there. Yeah, of course, of course. Now, he would consume this with a fried Mars bar equivalent. Fair enough. And a corned beef sandwich. I say. Every single night. It's a little continental, but I do it, you know?

Well, seeing as how, who cares about the health ramifications? I smoke something on 160 cigarettes an hour. Wow. I can't say that. You've already finished four while even time. I know. I've never seen anything burn this fast. Well, I have to put one between every finger.

Yeah, of course. Just put them in like I think I've said before. Rather than a cigarette gatling gun, it's more of just a long line of cannon. So you always add. Do you always act like an embarrassed Chinese girl? Just a few. Look at him. This is amazing.

So quick. Matt is not going to believe us. Anyway, I have to be going. It's weird because when Matt left, he didn't say anything. Oh, well,

now I don't like him. How rude is he? That was very rude of him. But, hopefully he'll be back. But Ian, thank you so much for joining us again. Thank you.

Nice to see you. I'm glad you're back. Yeah, it was really great. Okay, bye now. May your days be whimsical. Yes. All right. I'm around the corner.

You can say, Oh, Hello, you must be Matt Corley. Hi, who are you? I'm, I'm Flaming, don't you see? Who? Ian Fleming? No.

That's not how you said. Oh, well, anyway, it was great to me. I still don't know who you are. Matt, you come back into the podcast, Matt. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Dude, you, you know what you just missed. I met the coochiest old bugger out there.

Wait, no. Yeah. You're not going to believe this. That was Ian Fleming. I don't believe it. That was literally Ian Fleming. Did it? You talked to him?

Yeah. What did he say? Well, he said his name was Iron Fleming. Now, wouldn't you make that connection since you're on? We've been talking about Ian Fleming? No. I still don't make the connection. This is very weird.

I feel like you should have recognized him. Jurassic Park's not a good movie. We're not talking about, we're back on James Bond now. All right, all right. Matt, someday you're going to run into Ian Fleming. He visits the podcast regularly. Maybe you should take a listen. All right.

I think he's dead. Oh, that's too bad. By the way, I watched that Ian Fleming miniseries. Did you? How'd you feel about it? Didn't like it. I didn't watch it. In some way, it's not its fault.

The acting's really good. Those BBC dramas are getting real melodramatic now. Yeah, that's very true. They're all trying to be down to the heavy. Yeah, it felt like it. Here's a question from Paul Hodgert. Hodgert. Hodgert, probably.

Paul at P-A-U-L-H-O-D-G-E-E-R. has anyone fully explained short-selling stocks to you guys? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's been explaining the email, I've had it explained to me probably four or five times, and I leave the explanation understanding it, and then five minutes later I can't. That's like anything with stocks. Yeah, yeah. It's not that I don't possess the capacity to understand it.

I don't possess the will. Yeah, I don't want to understand it. I do, but then I just quickly, quickly don't. I don't want to because I just get so terrified of the fact that all of this money exists suggest on paper. Yeah. There's no actual cash. It's like Bitcoins, guys.

Yeah, big coins are, Bitcoins are in trouble. Yeah. Bitcoins are in trouble $5 million in Bitcoin's gone. Save the Bitcoins. Oh, man. Okay.

And the final question from Mike Borda, Mike underscore B-O-R-D-A. Mike asks us, would you ever accept an American bond or would it be too much like a Felix lighter spin-off? Well, I don't see the point. There is no point.

There is no point. There is no point. to that. America has a number of James Bond's. You know, Jason Bourne is one of them. John McLean is another. Arnold Schwarzenegger's character from True Lies, his name I can't think of right now.

Maybe Action Jackson. Rimo Williams. Apollo Creed. Fortune Dane. Oh, come on. Austin Powers. Did you see Remo Williams? No. Do you remember that movie? Fred Ward from the 80s is kind of a James Bond knockoff? No.

Worth visiting. Worth a visit. Joel Gray plays an old Asian trainer in it. I love it. I love it. I'm on board. Yeah. Wow.

That was our mission briefing, guys. Got a little off track here and there. But overall, I think this is... Well, thank God you waited three weeks for that. Listen, I'm happy. I'm happy with the episode. We had fun. And I think the audience is going to have fun getting to know a little bit more about their

fearless co-host, Matt Goreley, seller of Volkswagen's consumer of Snickers. Craig Rowan, thank you very much for joining us here. Thank you for having me back. We fully appreciate it. Thanks for filling in for Kumail Nanjiani or Kubail No Showani. I think before you said no, show upy. Yeah.

Okay, that probably made way more sense. Yeah. Either way. I don't know, Camel. Which one's more of a dig? Camel wasn't meant to be a big dig. I know you're busy. Don't worry about it.

We'll reschedule you. We saved license to kill for you. I know you watched it today. Interesting. Anyway, so with that, we salute you. Thank you for listening to James Bonding. We'll be back. We will return with license to kill.

We promise we just have to figure out the scheduling. We're so busy now, and it kind of sucks for the scheduling. And we are, we do feel bad that we don't get episodes out as often as we should be getting them out. But let us look on the bright side that this will at least last longer, which actually I like, because I will be sad when it ends. Yeah, I'll be sad, too. We'll probably try and stretch us out. No, Craig will be back for another edition of 1990 High Five. 1980 Heaven will be back.

It's going to be really good. 2000 and Sex is going to be back. 1930. Ninety-fun is going to be the offshoot I'm starting. 1890 fun. The Dave Matthews band formed in Virginia. I'll talk about it. It's going to be great.

2000 in Jew. 2000 in Jew. You'll have to host that one, Craig. 2000 lucky number Slebin, where we just talk about how great it was. that that movie came out. It's going to be fun. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you.

Send your comments and questions and all that stuff to the Twitter handle at James Bonding Pod. And also to our email address, bond James bonding at gmail.com. Thank you. And good night. We ear love you. Now leaving nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improv Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tab.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sound like a fancy college professor. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn.

You've seen me. have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it cross out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletitch.

Jesus, I mean, Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three of a Loaf from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.