James Bonding - Never Say Never Again with Aaron Abrams

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Aaron Abrams joins the Matts to discuss Never Say Never Again! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com It feels good, mad, mad, mad, James Bonding Podcast. It's the James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding podcast, it's the Jim Bonding Podcast, it's the Jim Bonding Podcast, it's the Jim Bonding Podcast, it feels like we're a little past our prime, and maybe we need to do some war games. No, yeah, we are Connery and Diamonds are forever right now. For a last hurrah. I'm Matt Gourley. Matt Myra. Our guest today, Aaron Abrams.

You'd know him from, well, Hannibal, first of all. And then a favorite show of mine, slings and arrows. Also the LA Complex. I have very little to do with any goodness, though. That's not true. And I can vouch for the lies that are coming out of this movie. It's great to be here, guys. Thank you.

Aaron, welcome. to our James Bonding podcast. It's really my pleasure. We like to ask our guests about their whole sort of life experience with James Bond when they first got into it. What was the first one you saw?

Where and when? This is part of why I wanted to have you on this show. Yeah, I was, this feels, I was saying to me, this feels like a culmination of my existence a little bit. I was very obsessed with James Bond as a kid. I would, I got, the first money I think I ever spent was on those VHS sets.

Yeah. Well, spending. Money well spent. Yeah. Oh, the shiny labels. Shiny covers. Oh. They may have silver labels, too?

Yeah, they were like, they really popped. Yeah. And I would make charts. I was mainly obsessed with bad guys and deaths. So I would make a lot of lists and charts. I wrote, I basically wrote fan fiction. I wrote like short stories. Oh, man, should have brought one in today.

I don't still have. I was thinking about what it was. It was from the perspective of, a henchman. I remember that, which was ahead of, yeah. You're a an henchman? Or one of the... One I made up who was, had a, he had like an arm like Teehee, like a metallic arm,

only he could unscrew the end and make different, like put a rapier or a hammer or something like a different... Like Inspector Gadget meets Tee. Yes, an evil inspector gadgets. And in my brain he was, he was played by Rosie Greer. And his name was Tidbit. Oh, great name. Yeah, and that's why I would write these like, you know,

ridiculous short stories. You were born too late. You should have been born in the era, like the 70s more era. You would have, man, you would have made your name writing those films. Yeah, so I was very, I was very obsessed. This is a big deal for me. What was the first one you saw? Live and Let Die.

Live and Let Die, which is also my favorite. I don't know if I'm sure that's not a coincidence. It fairs well on this podcast. Yes, we're all fans of it. I love it. We're big Roger Moore supporters. Yes. Roger Moore, I mean, not to escape it, but

I think Roger Moore would have been good in this one, particularly. Yeah. I don't want to ruin anything, but I think Sean Connery was perfect in this one. Oh. I think we may find we all had a pleasant surprise with this one. Yes, yes, me as well. It's good. Yeah.

Good to know we're going into this, positive. We're taking that. And so your favorite is Live and Let Die? Yes. First one you saw. Yes. And like, it kind of has, I mean, it's when the first time you don't, if there are things that are bad about that movie, it doesn't register because you're just like, the amazing chases and crazy bad guys. and the gadgets and stuff like that

where you're like, oh, it's all so new to you and you're like, what is happening? That movie really does have it all as far as James Bond tropes. You know what I mean? It's got your watch that is also a saw.

It's got, you know, it's like, like every other bond. No, but it's got your super memorable henchmen. Yeah. And a bunch of them, too. You got Whisper Tehee. Whisper Tehee and Baron Sam Dee.

Yeah. I mean. And Jane Seymour. What more do you want? Oh, you don't. You don't want anyone. And him in, like, ridiculous places that he should not be. Right.

Like Harlem and Bahamas or not Bahamas. Is it Jamaica? Jamaica. Like, but Voodoo Island, Jamaica. Yeah. And wherever J.W. Pepper's from. Where is that New Orleans? Right.

Right. J.W. Peppa. Yeah, living let die is fantastic. And this, you know, it's interesting is like when we were tasked with, do we do this movie or not. I was a little. Oh, never say never. Yeah. Never say never again.

of the thought of like, do we have to? Because then if we do this, do we have to do the original casino royale? Right. It opens up a Pandora's box that I wasn't prepared to go down. Right. But then you just made the call one day and then we were stuck. James Bond, James Bond Jr., we're going to pretty much. No.

Very soon we'll be doing that cartoon. As just a fan, I think this belongs as part of the thing. Yeah, I think it's, if you don't look at the politics and whatever behind it where it's like maybe a knockoff theoretically, it doesn't, feel that knockoffishness. No, and it's certainly... I think it's easier to watch than Thunderball. Oh, for sure. I agree. I agree completely. It was probably an improvement. And I think, like, the history of Kevin McClory's entanglement with Fleming, you've got to cover this, right? Right. We're doing the Lord's

work here. We're doing, we're doing the off-book Bond movie that was not part of the Eon canon. Yeah, the red-headed stepchild. Now, uh, if you've listened to this podcast before, we have gone over the story a little bit, but for those of you who are like, I'm not going to listen to these goddamn mission briefings where they don't even talk about a movie. Well, guess what? Okay. So, Kevin McClory, who, uh, is it, is it fair to say that he

helped Ian Fleming with the book? No. They originally got together and, and to do a treatment for a movie. Right. And that got scuttled and then Fleming took that idea and wrote the book Thunderball from that. So

Blofeld, Specter, and a few other things, even some conceptual things like gambling and stuff got tied into Kevin McClory's estate. And then after... Electronic video games. We're going to need 15 minutes for that alone. That was all tied to Kevin McClory.

So he was awarded the rights to those characters and to remake this story specifically. He had the film rights to the Thunderball story. Which aspects of that story is he tied to... Are they allowed to use and were they allowed to sort of vary from? So they could use anything, even things that he didn't create, M and Moneypenny and stuff. But he specifically had their rights, I believe, to Blowfelt,

Spector, and then the basic story of Thunderball. And then... The basic story being Spector steals nuclear weapons and holds the world hostage. Yeah. And boats. Something to do with boats. Yeah. Yeah. But then Fleming went on to do like a trilogy of

Spector books that... So it was a good thing that they did... Did they do those first? No, because they used Spector in You Only Live... twice and diamonds in forever but by then it was after that and they retcon dr no into specter they did yeah oh dr no is like from in from russia with love you mean yeah they talk about yeah yeah so this film is the last cinematic use of specter and blow felt until specter comes out this november and we don't even know if blow felt's in it no we sure don't because we're not reading any

spoilers no we're not but we still kind of know don't You know Christoph Waltz He still claims not to be Well good for him I hope not I mean Do you think we're running into a Benedict Cumberbatch

Is Not Khan situation I get that feeling I don't know I'm really trying to stay south of the spoilers But I don't know How well it's going The TV spot We should talk about it very quickly

We should and then Christopher Lee Oh God Rest in peace Nickknack Tabasco Uh Give your dog a bone Yeah the They released a

a one-minute TV spot for Specter, which had pretty much 30 seconds of footage we have seen, and then 30 seconds of footage we have not seen, thanks to the NBA finals. Did you happen to see this by any chance? I didn't see the new one. I've only seen the one where... Well, it's just... Plenty happens. Well, it's just like quick shots of action, and then it ends with a little sustained moment out.

I'd just like to talk about the fact that they have the Aston Martin drive over another Aston Martin and take its roof off. It looked pretty good. Yeah, it looked great. There's explosions, area. Okay, I'm in. Yeah, there's explosions in this, James Bond? There's actual things that were going to explode in this one?

Guess what? That's more than you saw in the last... Yeah, there was nothing in the last one. So you see the roof of a car get ripped off, and then the wings of a plane, too, right? Yeah. From the car? No, that's a different shot in the snow. It's a snow cargo plane, it looks like.

Are you guys going to be upset if he isn't Blofeld? No. You're going to be upset if he is Blofeld? No. I guess it's all in how they do it. Great. I'm just ready. Yeah.

Whatever they need. to throw at me. I'll take it. So yeah, the TV spot was great. Really amped up, looking forward to it. They show the delivery of Bond James Bond, and I really liked it. I won't say anything more if you want to experience on here. Well, you're kind of into him in general, right? Like you're all in.

He's a dream boat. Jay-O-Crag is just a hunk. When he's coming out of the water in Casino Royale, the water is crystal clear and somehow still murkier than his baby blues. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Time slows down when he gets out of the water, and that's not even the film. He comes out of the water and you get the trifecta of the baby blue.

You got the water? Swim trunks. Eyes. Boom. Good work. Baby blue. Good work. James Bond's favorite color, apparently.

And mine. Daniel Craig Blue. That's your favorite. That's the way you call it. I'm having a Terry Cloth play suit made for me. A guy's making one. Oh, you're getting it remade? Well, yeah.

In a size of a long story. but the one he wears in gold fingers. Sure, sure. My girlfriend's lovely sister made one for me, but it was an Australian-sized thing, and it didn't translate, and I literally couldn't get in it. And so a new one's coming, and we'll see.

I mean, just to update the listeners, that's important news, I guess. Yeah, no, they want to know. They're very curious. Yeah. What's happening with Matt Goreley's Terry Clothed jumpsuit? You should just come out of the line of that. I think that would sell a little bit.

They seemed super comfortable. Well, yeah. Wait a little you see me, mind, you're going to want one for the swimsuit season. Your balls are going to be in pain, I think. Yeah, I'm going to have to separate them somehow. So, yeah, and also we have to remark on the passing of one of the greats in all of movies, not just James Bond, Christopher Lee. He was in Star Wars, he was in a bunch of Lord of the Rings, he was in two Star Warses. Yep. Count Duku. That's right. And a great Bond villain. Of course,

Skarmonga. Third Nipple. Yeah. A superfluous... What do they call it? A superfluous... Papa. Whatever the probably Latin name is for the... Yeah, a superfluous ariola.

But he was like the first one that was such a big star to pit opposite James Bond. I was supposed to be worried for James Bond. It just was like they were hyping the bad guy. Yeah, like he was called the bad guy, and it was Christopher Lee. And it was like a big deal. And it sort of set a tone a little bit.

It did because he was also like a bizarreo James Bond. He was evil. And also the plot of that movie is this guy wants to kill James Bond. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Don't worry about this solar thing, but this is the main plot. And in the book, he was kind of a thug, but in the movie that made him very suave. Very classy.

Christopher Lee, who's Ian Fleming's step cousin, too. Oh, he's juiced in. Yeah. That's not. He's cheating. His whole career is a shame. Nepotism. Guy did nothing.

He kind of ruins it for it, didn't. Oh, no. Also, a heavy metal singer, Christopher Lee. He released that heavy metal Christmas song called Jingle Hells. Yeah, that was an album, right? When he died, when that was announced this morning, and that started circulating, I think that's, I didn't know this.

Oh, you didn't know that? I also did not. I was aware of that. Yeah, 93 years old. So that's like when Leonard Nimoy did his, like, hippie folk songs. Christopher thought, I'll do what Alice Cooper does or what? Yeah, he essentially was like, I'm going to do a heavy metal. You know, he's got a great voice.

Does he? Yeah, well, voice, you know what I mean? Oh, I'll have to check that out. Yeah, we'll take a listen to that. So, yeah, the movie. The movie we're doing today, guys, is never say never again. Let's just talk about some of the origin of this thing. For instance, the title, do you guys know where the title comes from?

I do, but I want you to tell the audience. Apparently, allegedly. Someone that Sean Connery used to hit. No, go ahead. Oh, yeah. His wife, when he quit Bond, said, I'll never do that again. And then this comes around and she goes, well, you're doing it again. So never say never again.

And that's apparently how the title came about. I don't know. Sounds a little neat to me. A little neat. Like this old movie, he told the cops. Too cute by half. Yeah,

but like that's the only way it really even makes sense for that to be the title of the movie. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it feels like that line at the end, they sort of were like, well, let's work that in because that's now the title of movie. Yeah,

because, yeah, it's not like Am says at any point. Like you'll never be, you'll never be back in shape again or something. Right. No one regrets saying never, ever. Yeah.

that's the new movie no one regrets never ever he's still alive he could do one more and then so there's some some sense that Connery's doing this despite cubby broccoli

some sense yeah quite a sense and then this movie goes up against octopusy and it was the year of the Battle of the Bonds 83 right? Yep and this movie came out four months later which is why we're doing it first because we're on the backwards trajectory. And Octopusy won.

Everybody thought Connery would win, but Octopussy was the bigger box office draw. I think that... They did put pussy in the title. That's true. It's like they cheated. Oh, that is, yeah. Because they had that title.

They really pulled up a big gun. Everybody's going, never say never again. What? That's not even a figure of speech. What I understand what that is. Yeah, this one is, it's interesting because it's such a loathsome movie for me, the Thunderball. I can't deal with its underwater 35-minute slow underwater scenes.

Has there ever in any James Bond movie been an underwater sequence that wasn't a snoozer? Like this one is also a snoozer. I agree. I think in Skyfall, when he's fighting with the guy in the lake, that at least moves quick. You mean like a scuba-oriented? Yeah. Even if tomorrow never dies, it's so... And for your eyes only, at least there's the suspense of someone's...

like coming after them, but it's so slow moving. Yeah. You're right. That's the problem, too. Like, and Tomorrow never dies when they go to look for the warhead. Remember, they go to look for that torpedo underwater. Oh, boy, I really do speed diving. He does the halo jump, the high altitude, low opening jump.

Yeah. That's a rough one. That Joe Don Baker brings him to. That's the Bond movie I've seen the least. It's one of my favorites. I think you're wrong on it. Tomorrow never dies is the one with the diamonds? No, that's die another day.

Right. I started to fall off. Me too. Right where it's Brasen, which coincided exactly with puberty with me. So it was a double sword. You guys, I'm not a Boz. Not a Brosnan guy.

Get on board. This Brosnan train. It's leaving the station. I've said it before. But Tomorrow Never Dies is the only one I've not seen in the theater since I started going to see them. Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't even, I still go see them right way. If they're ever screening that at a shitty cinema within an hour's drive, I'm dragging you. Yeah, that's fair.

I should see it. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, never say never again. Always was sort of one, even as a kid I stayed away from. Oh, really? Because I knew in my mind, I knew that it was not canon. That's what I was going to ask you guys, because I saw it a bunch on cable when I was young,

and I knew it was different, but I don't think I ever conceptualized that this was an unofficial Bond film. I just didn't question it. I kind of went with it. You just assumed James Bond is in this. This is the James Bond movie. Yeah, and I knew, I think I saw this one in the theater. or two because it was the same year's octopus scene so I knew that something weird was going on but I just didn't question I'm just like what yeah more of a good thing

Who I'm like a question come on? I saw it fairly early on. I didn't see them in order I think my dad sort of slowly presented them to me yeah and he it I didn't realize it was different until I had that like essential James Bond Encyclopedia thing which had everything you need to know possibly under my pillow cover yeah yeah possibly it is my pillow Just soft cover Like book Yeah so that's when I think I figured And then you start watching With the different eyes a little bit

Yeah The music is the biggest key It's not even that The opening is also just generally Yeah Altered for no reason Like it doesn't have the same Doesn't have the eye thing

It doesn't have a sequence No there's no gun barrel No cold open I mean there's I mean theoretically the cold open Would be him doing You know Breaking into that

To get the kidnapped Billionaire daughter It's kind of a fun little scene. Yeah. But he gets stabbed at the end, right? So you can't really be like, and then just go to a title sequence. Well, I mean, James Bond gets shot in Skyfall. Yeah.

And there's a title sequence. Right. Well, so the song, it opens with this, I mean, the worst song of any Bond movie? Because even the production feels like it's being played off a warbly cassette tape, like it's warped or something. Maybe not die another day. I still think the chorus is catchy, and that gets points. It is way more catchy than some of the other. one. That's true. So there was

originally another song that was up until the very near production or opening. This was the song, but then I guess the guy who did the score had the rights to do the song, and so he booted this song and did his own. There it is.

Are you guys getting that in stereo? No, it's in mono, but Katie will mix it in post. You don't just like drop these in mono? The people won't. I don't hear the one ear. Yeah.

Man, this says Mugravitas song, I don't know. Are you in or what? Yeah, this is much more the thing. Because you can picture some Morris Bender titles like girls doing gymnastics

and chores. Oh, this is, I like that zippy. She's soulful, though. Yeah. We're the only podcast in history to just quiet down for this song. Well, I just, I've never heard it. It's not interested in the lyrics.

Phyllis Hyman. I don't, by the way, is that her name is a bond girl. Oh, no. Phyllis Heimann. Phil us hymen. Yep. Oh, my Jesus. Holy smokes.

Yeah, her, her manager needed to have a conversation. Just has a sit down. You sing great. They did, and they were like, the only thing you're going to get around here is a Bond movie. Yeah. It wasn't even Hitler's last name, Schicklegruber at some point, and he had the foresight to switch?

I don't know. Yeah, I think so. We like to get our Hilary facts on this one. I will say that the song that they do use, if it had the cold open, it wouldn't have been so bad. It's just that's underplaying this thing where he's punching people in the face, so it just feels comedic.

Yeah, that's very true. Yeah, with a very, I would say, terrible sound effect. Oh, yeah. The mixing is out of control. That's true. Funer, wild. John Barry was originally approached to do the music, and he declined out of respect for broccoli.

But there is a version online that you can look up, and one of our listeners, Brendan McVeigh, sent that to us, and so you can watch this movie with John Barry music. It's strange. It's a little weird. I watched a little bit of it. And it's better.

Oh, yeah. Well, the music, the soundtrack also gets like a weird, I guess they're taking that tango theme all the way through. Yeah. And jazzy? Yeah, it's not right. It has no gravitas at all. No, it's not right at all.

Well, I mean, it's like, I feel like there's some James Bond movies of the Eon ilk that also will carry through a not particularly strong melody into the scoring. You know, like, like, um, or a great one like The Man with the Golden Gun will have some great scoring of the sort of

whatever that theme music is they're going to carry that through the Yeah Yeah I love when they do that I love it All they had to work with on this was That's true

Never Yeah Never say never That's his own fault He's the guy that wrote the song On the score All right So we're into it

Okay Okay Here we are starts with some 007s because he can use that legally and I feel like

that was also their way to kind of do like a graphic thing that you would somehow see in the opening titles of a regular bond film but just briefly suggest that instead of the gun barrel

sequence Yeah and also the O is being O being a circle much like the gun barrel they were talking about I had read on while looking up

this movie that they had tried to do a gun barrel sequence and then scrapped it in the last second and And I think the music was released on the soundtrack that you could buy so you would hear the music that they intended for that.

Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't just know these things. Oh, boy. Naturally. I did a little reading. No, no. I like to think that you know these naturally.

I don't. Yeah. So what was the last time you guys watched this movie? When I was a kid, I think. Yeah. I think I saw it because it wasn't part of that set they gave you. And so I went by it separately, but I think it was already, I've only seen it a handful of times. I mean, I remembered it, but not...

It was better than I remembered. Yeah. It was much better than I remembered. The last time I saw this... I don't even know. I always saw parts of it on cable. And that also confused me as a kid, I guess, too. When you did see parts of it on cable, your brain was like,

which one does he drive a motorcycle under a truck in? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I saw this probably within the last two years. I own the Blu-ray. And part of the fun of owning the Blu-ray is the director's commentary with Irvin and Kersh. Oh, what? Which is amazing and I highly recommend it.

Because if you're familiar with Kirshner, who directed Empire Strikes Back, he's got this voice, and he takes it very seriously. So scenes were like, he's fighting the strong man. And he's like, here, you show it. You don't tell it. It's how drama works. You just show it. You don't tell. Don't do it.

It's really serious about it. And it's glorious. It's glorious. Wow. I highly recommend. It's worth buying this DVD because it, looks, or the Blu-ray looks great to the high-deaf transfer. It's actually a really well-shot movie, I think.

I agree. It's good for real. It didn't get slackers to make this movie. They got people at the top of their game. Yeah. Get yourself, go get yourself on the Samsung, 50 to 60-inch television. Did this follow-up? Does this his follow-up to Empire? Oh, it must have been. Yeah. It must have been. Yeah. It must have been what he did right after the Empire Strikes Back. Could have been. Yeah. There's a lot of Star Wars, like, Bond, Super, Superman, Star Wars crossover people in all these films too.

Because the guy he fights in the clinic is the big Nazi that indie fights at the plane. And the head thuggy guy from Temple of Doom that he fights on the conveyor boat. He's great. Yeah. That guy's great. He's so nonchalant. I know what it is? He really is.

You know what it is? There's 25 actors in England. It's true. Do you know what I mean? And they get cycled into everything that they shoot over there. And if you're seven foot, you're going to get the guy with. By the way, it was only until last night that I realized that I wasn't watching William Atherton. Oh, yeah.

He really has O'Atherton-ish. He does, the brother. Yeah. And I was like, they look the same. And then I went like, they must be exactly the same age. And they are a year of difference. He looks a lot like Kim Basinger, too. That is some super casting.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So let's, okay. So we start, this movie starts with, you know, James Bond taking storming, sea, doing James Bond type things in a stealth event, not stealth mode. Right, murdering. It goes from stealth to murder real quick.

The man who has... Almost infinite access to silencers for his walther. He decides to just go in blazing. His murder is almost out of laziness. Yeah, I just don't want to deal. Yeah, he doesn't want to walk over there, so he'll shoot you with a machine gun that is somehow louder than regular machine gun. So he takes, you know, he has to rescue this girl.

We don't know what's happening. We're the audience. We're learning as it's going. You know what they do? They're showing us, not telling us. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, did show it.

I mean, it's drama. So. What do you want, Remo Williams? No, show it. We get to, you know, James Bond rescues the girl, but then all of a sudden, boom, knife in the side. We, the audience are like, no. James, and then we find that it's being watched on a screen. I don't feel like it dwells on that nearly enough.

He makes a like, oh, geez face, and then immediately it cuts to people being like, bopo, but, oh. I think that's such a, that would be James Bond. If James Bond ever meets his untimely end, I think his reaction would. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He'd be like, yeah, God. Sweet, release. I'm coming.

No less. I'm coming, Dame Judy. It's the amount of diseases I've given to women It's only fitting that I'm be stabbed by one So wait now let so this turns out to be a Whops didn't simulation of that guy Now how what How in your brain

How does this simulation work? Did he not punch murder a bunch of people? No in my brain everyone has Everyone has blanks Yeah And I think that they allow punching I think they allow punching In this war game

Why are they? Yeah like why are they They're still falling off of building for no reason. Yeah. It's like, ah, everything padded

on the ground? I have to show. My time to show. The bigger question is that this whole thing is going to get out of here, you see? Too right. To show that Connery still got it

and he's still subverting the system, right? That he's coming out of retirement? Is that kind of what they're saying? The first thing I noticed in watching this movie was Sean Connery in better shape than Roger Moore at that time. Oh, yes.

Well, he's also three years younger. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And, and, does he, am I wrong? This is 12 years after Die another, or Diamonds of Forever.

And he looks better than he did in Diamonds or Forever. And that part of that is probably Vegas. The only thing that doesn't look better is his toupee. His toupee in this movie does kind of ruin it for me. Yeah. I love that they were like, all right, I'll do it. And they were like, Thunderball, a lot of water stuff. And he's like, ooh.

Ooh. Oh, guys, I'm going to need a. How is glue technology advanced? Get me Shatner's guy So they kind of deal with his age Right out of the bat Which is good, right off the bat Which they don't do really very often

In James Bond Bond movies Until Skyfall Which I even think they went a little far with that Because he's still got at least another two We've talked about this headline Many times But it doesn't make any sense That he'd be so worn out

That's true By that time Anyway Especially he still has the fire of a young man Oh yeah Whereas Connery's like a little bit like, ooh-hoo. Yeah. I've got to deal with all these fucking idiots again.

I'm not going to take a knife on the side. I will say when he finally does put on tuxedo, it's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're James Bond. One thing I love about this movie, M, played by Edward Fox. I love that guy so much. Have you guys ever seen Force 10 from Navarone, a World War II movie with Harrison Ford?

Of course not. Of course not. So good. Directed by Guy Hamilton, Goldfiger director. Another huge English movie that's full of... They live with I. He did all the good ones. Yeah.

Yeah. So an English movie that needs actors, and you're saying there are some people in this English movie that would also be in a James Bond movie? That's right. And the only people that aren't are the American actors who are Harrison Ford and Carl Weathers. Oh. But Robert Shaw's in it. It's the sequel to Guns of Navarone. And it's the lesser of the two movies, but for my money, a lot more fun.

Richard Keel's in it. Am in this movie, though. It's a great performance, but he's written like a real punk bitch. Yeah, he's a petty son of a thing of a thing. He's written like a whiny bureaucratic. Yeah, yeah. Which is like, that's the sort of, you know, again, all we know about Spector, everybody, is what we've seen officially released by 007.com.

But that's part of my worry with Spector coming up. It feels like they're doing the whole thing of like, we have no need for the double O section. You know what I mean? Yeah. We want them to just get back to me. Yeah. We wanted to go, oh, fuck, we do need spies all the time. Yeah. Anyway. And use that language. Oh, fuck. We do need spies all the time. New M.I.C. Cut. Logan. Gabbled bang.

So, okay. So James is told, hey, you're old. You eat terribly. You smoke. You drink. He'll cut out the white bread, but not the dry martines. Right. We need to get you over to this fun relaxing clinic where they're going to, what is the four days? Oh, this is the great line when he's out on his way out and that tells money. That is a solid line. I am to eliminate all free radicals. Oh, sounds dangerous. I didn't know what a free radical was when I was a kid, but I was laughing. I just knew I was supposed to laugh. What did you think of Moneypenny?

They don't really use her at all. Twice. Yeah. Isn't there twice? Yeah, there's not much going. on there. I believe she had a shot, though. I think in the other, in the older ones, you're like, this is a little patronizing that

he's flirting with this lady. Yeah. That's not nice for this lady. But this movie, I was like, well, this lady could get it done if she puts her back into it a little bit. Well, she's a little too young, I think, for me. Yeah? You know, age difference was between the characters.

I think it's a little too much. Yeah, that's right. But remember when they... Because they had Lois Maxwell in there. But what was the movie? Was it... Maybe it was Vue to Kill where they bring in Penelopee's Smallbone and... in Moneypenny's training this really young girl

and you just get this feeling like she was gone and the next one she'll be there and then Roger Moore will still be there and it'll be really weird. So, you know, much like in Thunderball, James has to go recuperate from an injury. Well, I guess he's not really recuperating. He's just being sent there because he drinks a lot.

So, you know, you're essentially you're dealing with a lot of the same sort of parts of Thunderball of him at this clinic where he's getting massages and he's trying to be healthy. At least it doesn't have that awkward scene where he's on that stretcher.

Remember that motorized stretcher and thunderball and he's stuck on it? Yeah, well, this replaced that with the fucking, with the, uh, Adams Press. Yeah. I mean, it's just like,

what exercise equipment can we now hurt him with? But at least that one wasn't just humiliating physically. Also, also, by the way, the way those machines work, if you release those weights, the bar is now light. Oh,

yeah. The bar is now lighter than ever. The physics of how the bad guy trapped him in there. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. It really didn't work out. So let's, okay.

But he's, he's emasculated a lot during that early goal. Yeah, he really is. Like, every nurse, like, snapping his back and, like, he's really puttering around.

Like, that's where I met when Roger Moore, I think, would tear all that stuff. Like, when you watch John Conner, he'd get emasculated. It's a little bit sad. It is a weird, yeah. He's like a big,

brutish dog. Yeah, but I think it's good that it's sadder for this movie. Do you know what I mean? James Bond is getting punked for a good half hour straight off the top. Also, we should is the, when do we find out about the captain? Does that happen before we get to the clinic? The brother of King Bay Singer? It happens at the clinic. Or do you find out in the specter meeting? Which I want to talk about because here's where I started noticing the direction. Almost all of that Specter meeting a shot from this crazy low angle. Did you guys guess that? Yeah, he's getting,

like creeps up on him from this like, dun, dun, done, yeah, and watch that. So they doll in at a low angle and Blofeld's holding the cat, but the cat is doing this thing

that I never noticed before where it's just like fanning its pile rhythmically as Sidow pets him and he's just doing this thing like, like Catwoman would do that whirr-r-thing. And it's unbelievable. Think it was a heavily trained cat?

Or is it just a, comfortable cat. It was doing it so on cue that I thought maybe it's watching a trainer and the trainer taught it to do that. Or it's just its stimulation from petting or something, I don't know. It's great. So we see, yeah, we see Specter, the organization a bit of a missed

opportunity with the extras in that meeting. Yeah, they were pretty tame, right? A lot of... It's weird where this film decides to like rein it in and where it doesn't is really inconsistent. But the one thing I liked about when they show that room of those people, they're not configured in any formation They're like randomly in these chairs with little tables.

I kind of liked it in a way. The production design is kind of interesting in this film. You know, and it is funny seeing like Blofeld. You know, you just sort of realize that that's sort of what we've been missing from James Bond movies. A good, big, bad, like, situate. You know, a good, like, I like that there's, if the KGB isn't around anymore, then I like that there's this other organization. Yes. that he has to come up against.

I like that it's MI6 versus this other organization, be it quantum or a specter. Get ready for November. I think that's the whole idea that he's this all-powerful guy, but he has like a cat. That's the juxt position, and it's never quite worked because they get like Donald... Like guys who look like they had cats.

Yeah, yeah. Cat ladies. Yeah, yeah. They put him in a bow tie even. I was like, don't... I don't think I'm into that. You got Max in there. He's towering over everybody.

He kind of made him dressed him like on, like, like, like, a homebody. His voice He really uses his voice in this one He's trying to do a different accent than the one he has He sounds Eastern European in this It's a big get too for this movie

When he's not the big bad Is there was there an idea to do Just like keep doing thunderballs over and over Like to make this a series? Apparently yeah Apparently yeah They were gonna do that They were gonna like just keep going

That's amazing Here let's hear I would have liked that if this movie ended with them Just pulling a cartridge out And it said like Thunderball war game mission and James Bond just passed at the end it was all the dream

and he's back in the field that would be amazing it was all his next mission like training mission yeah they just inserted Thunderball Watch the cat This is our esteem number one Is in complete charge of time Oh is he doing that though

Is it a puppet? Is he doing it with his finger Because it's like tucked in I don't know go back I gotta see that Oh man We haven't even talked about Klaus Murray Brandauer. He's my favorite thing in this. Oh my god.

Bonkers. He's bonkers. He's doing it with both his basis. In matters of death, Spector is strictly impartial. Not for the future. This is not a visual person. Oh, maybe he is.

But he's doing it with both his paws. Yeah, no, the cat's totally doing that on its own. The cat's just hanging out. The acting talent in this movie is supreme, including the cat. He's in complete charge of the entire operation, which will henceforth be called the Tears of Allah. Why wouldn't sit down to do this?

Because it probably did it all in a day. Yeah. I love him. Okay, let's talk about Klaus Murray Brand now. Best crazy person in all the bonds. Best like playing a crazy person who's walking maybe? No, I think best crazy person in all the bond movies, I think is the villain from Quantum of Salas.

Oh. Well, he's really subtle. Let me say what I love about this. He walks up to the line of going he's going to go too far. There's no way this delivery can work. And he just walks it back right in time. Every time. He's like the biggest overacting cock tease.

He never actually does it, but he gets right up there. It's like a legit good performance. Yeah. It looks like it's any second going to become a cartoonish bad performance. It's amazing. He's great. And then I slit your throat. Do you think, like they say finally towards the end,

when someone finally says like, you're out of your mind. At some point I'm like, I'm not sure that's in the script that he's crazy. Like that and you've got to say something at this point. I mean, we're all aware of it. We gotta, dude. Someone's got to say, he's crazy, you're crazy. Just throw it in there. We had a powwow.

We talked about it. Yeah, I really wonder what he's like on set. I gather it's not too far off. And his costumes, too. Oh, yeah, like country club, blue fan costumes. Incredible. Heroin. I understand he's not...

I love it. I love what he looks like. He's amazing. I love his giant glasses. Willing and obedient. I would put him in like top ten, if not top five, bond villains. And this isn't even an official bond movie. His right eye print is now an exact replica of that of the president of the United States.

He will soon be moved to a convalescent clinic. This feels like his audition tape. And they just rolled it in. Well, they couldn't arrange. He could... I want you to sit here, say these lines. Yeah. Sign this. Thank you. Vonslaude could be in the same room that Vonsolato was like, I only work one day.

So get him here or do something. I think they were teleconferencing with Klaus Maria Brando talking about will you do this movie. And then they asked him, what do you think it's about? And this is just what he said. And then they wrote the script. Someone filmed this. Yeah, London. I have chosen number 12 to have the responsibility of taking the most.

She's crazy. Yeah, she's amazingly great. Her, like, her dance tick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, whenever she's walking, pointing to the band. Yeah, yeah. Doing her thing. Fatima Blush.

That's a good name, too, Fatima Blush. Anytime I watch this with my dad, and any time she would come on screen, he would go, hmm. I would be like, oh, that's what is attractive. That is an attractive lady, I guess. My dad would do that with Tanya Roberts and you go, and he'd go, you know, she was in Playboy. Every time. Definitely every time we watch the movie But I want to say every scene

You know, she was in Playboy Nassana, I got it if you want to see you I know, dad I found him in the garage So James Bond Comes prepared to his Clinic of Health Where he brings his

Briefcase Full of caviar And entire bottles You have one of those, right? And quayle eggs And like spring break party vodka Yeah, absolute Cheap

Let's see what's in there Is it absolute? It is? Yeah It's a big, like, economy bottle. Well, that wasn't Smyrnaw, which was his old brand. Yeah. Oh, they sticking it to Smyrna.

Yeah. Also, look at this fireplace. There's a fireplace and then a little fireplace inside it. Also, he was getting dressed up to get hammered alone. I know. There's a lady. She's got something. Let's just listen to Sean Conner's delivery.

There's a little stove in the fireplace. Don't worry. I have my reputation to think of. I don't think you've got your reputation by living on a diet of wild rice. So, lentil delight, dandelion salad, goat's cheese. I don't know, this woman does it for me. It's probably because I remember her from this movie. Fou gras.

Strasbourg. Is she going to vomit? What does that look? No, she hasn't had foie gras in so long. All the dandelion salad. ages and ages. He's bringing her back to her carnal pleasure. So it just so happens

that the clinic that they are taking Kim Basinger's brother to to recover from his ocular eye surgery so his retina will be an exact imprint of the presence of Zionizes says. Yeah, because in Thunderball, he just had plastic surgery to look like that guy. Yeah.

Because they had live warheads on that shift. This now they need to get warheads on it. They put in there, is the president's eye looks like a fish's eye. It's like a gigantic blue. Yep. It's like President Gerald Merman.

It's like presiding. Merman. Mermann. Mermann. The first ever fishman president, they said it wouldn't happen in our time. Early 80s were. You know,

we're coming off a Carter. We just needed something. We needed something different. My fellow Americans. I like that passionate speech in garbled fish languages. So the plan is to get him... Oh, I do like... So James Bond does some James Bonding.

He does some spying. Yeah. And he's watching this guy. He has to go through all the things he would have to go through in order to release these nuclear weapons. So Spector has set up this little training exercise for him to do this. And James Bond... I believe he goes over there.

Why does he end up... Spying on them? He sees them fighting, right? Yeah, really. Yeah. Which is, there's no reason for her to be beating him up at all, right? From Rackerel, she's just a crazy fan. A crazy pants?

She's nuts. But I do really, I do like the performances here when James Bond sees, because this guy goes over the top. He's really athurtaining it up. He's out athertoning. Yeah. Try today, darling. At the window. Come on.

This guy's in the, this guy's a military man. Man, at the window. I know. But I also like... Also, why is he doing it? Because they're threatening his sister? That's why he's going to blow up the world? Did you see you?

Yeah, did they ever say it? Why is he doing this? Yeah. Because they got him addicted to heroin. Oh, that's right. And they keep giving him heroin to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't pay attention to the plot points of this time.

Yeah. She did offer to give him candy from her thigh. Yeah. That was the needle. I get it. I was watching things like cats paws and stuff. But it is interesting. like, I think something that's cool that they touch on here is that at this point in his career.

Do you know him? Oh, yes. 007. He's useless. At this point in his career, he's useless as a spy because everybody knows him. That's always the later James Bond. But, you know, it's interesting. It's like, you know, they suspend disbelief in the James Bond movies for the most part,

where even in, like, say, the earlier movies, Spector doesn't know. Oh, that's James Bond. That's 007. Like, they don't know it. But this woman, number... She's not even number five. I know. She's number 12.

She's number 12, and she knows him by sight. Yeah. If they had month nicknames, she'd barely be in December tops. Yeah. So she needs to... Or February, maybe it's the shortest. I don't know how they rank them. She needs to get James taken care of, so she sends the guy from Raiders of the Lost

again, because that movie filmed it, He was an English guy, so they got him. I do like that thing, that weapon. I do like that thing. Why doesn't everyone have that weapon? The thing that breaks knives and everything, like the rubber lead pipe or whatever it is. I think it's just like a springy metal situation.

It's amazing. I read on IMDB. I'm having a hard time believing this, but apparently Stephen Seagall was the fight choreographer, the martial arts choreographer in this, and broke Connery's wrist. But I have heard numerous stories about... I bet Sigel goes into IMD trivia.

I bet you're right. enters a whole bunch of crazy shit. I've heard crazy talk about working with that guy in terms of fighting. Like, he really hits people and stuff like that. Yeah, there's an urban legend about him fighting a guy, and then he challenged a guy to fight, and the guy was a champion,

and they fought, and in one second, Steven Seagall was choked out, and then hissed himself. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've heard that story. I just heard it where he shit his pants, too. So that's amazing how that already happens. I want to look up the fight coordinator here.

Oh, yeah, that ought to do it. Anyway, uh, Keep talking. Get us to... Get us to... Has the fight with the giant henchmen, and then he discovers the... His one clue to who these people were is...

I do like that fight with the henchmen. I think it's a good fight, too. I think it's a good fight, too. I like the element of the fight happening that they're watching on television. Right. That is coinciding with them fighting behind everybody. That's a very Spielberg moment.

His nonchalance is great. I don't mind the piss in the face. What is in Bond's urine that does that to him? That's... It's so... So disper-proportionate. Pure, absolute vodka. Oh, God.

Just the frog-w-wrong. Duck liver, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Even the idea that, like, yeah, I don't, does it kind of, do you hear it, like, hiss? Like, it's, like, it's. He's certainly playing an ascetic. Yeah.

Not a Hasidic. No, no, no. I, I beg your part. There's some effects in this that aren't bad, too, because then they cut away pretty soon to that jet flying through the air. So some of the cruise missile stuff looks a little like optical, but the jet flying through the air looks really good. Did you guys know? Is that when it flies

through the clouds and it gets a shadow on it? Yeah, the jet looks good. The stuff that looks good is there to make up for the horse jumping off the giant building. Yeah, we're all building to a thing. That's pretty rough. We'll get there. They murder a horse. We'll get there. Basically do it. And another animal, wasn't there another animal that was...

Well, she has this idea where she's like, this happens now where she's going to kill the brother and her plan is to throw a snake in his car have the car go off the road then blow up the car and take her snake out of the yard

I don't know if you guys realize this but there aren't many snakes in England so this one was the snake from Raiders of the Lost Oh yeah they had to recap Reggie yeah yeah I have a horrible past

they called him up he came out of retirement yeah for those of you don't know I lost $4,000 on a game show because I got that name right and they thought it was Richie. Wait, what didn't give me the money? Wait, what? That snake in Raiders of Lost Dark that's in his lap in the plane in the beginning

and he goes, that's just my pet snake, Reggie. And they asked me on this game show Debt, what's the name? And I said Reggie, he goes, sorry, it's Richie and I didn't get the money. But you were right? That's what I'm told about, like I've told this on podcast before and people have shown me the script and everything but, you know, Wink's dead, right?

Wink Martindale, I don't think he's around anymore. I don't know that he'd pay me personally. What year was this? Wow. This would have been like, mid-90s, probably 95 or 96. Oh, man, you had a hell of a 95. I really did.

To 95, guys. 1990, high-five. I'm just watching the credits, guys. Okay. Sorry. Keep going. But that's a career. I mean, she's doing a great job being, I buy everything she does and she doesn't do anything.

It doesn't make any sense. Vic Armstrong did the stunts. Oh, that makes sense. So, yeah, V doubled for indie. Yeah. And he did a lot of other bonds stuff. Yes. He did a lot of their original Eon stuff.

That's crazy. They poached him. They did. So stunts, is he even in there? No. No, Steven's a go. That's basically it. He's got to be lying.

I'm glad we fact-checked that. So he goes to Jamaica after this. Hot on the trail, right? You'd think you're going to see quarrel. Or Bahamas. You don't. I know. It's going to the Bahamas.

Well, we're also missing the part where they okay now we have the nuclear he holds I wasn't I was gonna kind of limit

what we're going to play as far as audio is concerned for everybody on this but I do have to play fucking Blofeld's fun little

video message to the sort of United Nations outrageous also there's some bad exprison yeah through the ingenuity

of Spector the dummy warheads they carried were That guy's from view to a kill. Yeah, this guy's, yeah. Your weapons of destruction are now safely in our possession. He focuses on his plan.

This is the future of my life. Please note the serial numbers of the missiles. They will confirm the truth. Your weapons of deterrence did not deter us from our objective. A terrible catastrophe now confronts you. It sounds like Dracula It can be avoided

By paying a review for our organization Amounting to 25% of your respective Continent Yeah It sounds just like Christopher Lee is accurate We have accomplished two of the functions That the name specular embodies Terror and Extortion

If our demands are Perron and extortion Seven days I So much not this guy's the worst this extra right here. Everything he hears. I disagree. She also doesn't belong there?

That's gold in my ear. But it's just like, this guy just is hearing like we're holding, we have nuclear and he's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but I told you guys, I told you. He keeps looking at his buddy like, is this bad? I want to hear, I want to hear when Blofeld explains the name to everybody. Demonize. That's awesome. There it is.

I am supreme commander of Spector. the special executive for counterintelligence, terrorism, revenge, and extortion. Wait, let's take a second to talk about this little studio he has set up here. There's a camera in an iron skull, and it's on a podium that's just facing this little flower table that he's just kind of propped up against... I guess they don't do that regular. And a red light. But why do they have that light?

Yeah, that camera. So he knows that it's on. But why do they have that camera? I think that camera might be his well. I used a video conference with my bros across the nation. So, like, Largo had one of those when he used to. Okay, that makes sense. Maybe they issue them with the rings.

It's like your Spectre Starter kit. Here's your skull camera. Here's your ring. How do I get one? Now, I know our name is very stupid. It is rough. I am the special executive for counter-terterrorism, extortion, revenge. counterterrorism doesn't make any sense.

That seems like a good thing. I'm a supreme commander of Spector. The special executive for counterintelligence. Terrorism, revenge, and extortion. As big a Bond fan as I am, I never remember what that stands on. Me either. I cannot. Me either, because it's the stupidest thing in any of the James Bond movies. Okay, so William Atherton gets killed by a snake.

who happens to be Kim Basinger's brother and we know it's not William Atherton everybody we know that we're just saying it because he looks like him Matt's saying that because we will hear him I understand yeah yeah we're just calling him William Atherton but what we

so now that this this plan is out there you know England's got to do something right so just like that the the double O branch is reactivated by is that the Prime Minister, you think, that just turns to them to make it happen?

Hard to say. But let's, I do want to hear the, that Algernon's take on Q. Really quickly, that yacht, Largo's yacht. The flying saucer? Yes, which is Disco Volante in English from Thunderball. But that was owned by a Saudi arms dealer at the time. Oh. And then, guess who, he doesn't own it now, but for a long time, Trump owned it as well, after the fact.

Wow They like when They co-shared They're like So you get it for six months They're just like Type share Yeah

Time shared Him to Saudi This Q's pretty good You think so I like him yeah I like this whole world Where he's Like an underfunded

Sanford and Like I like a whole sitcom of This place Of like an Underfunded Intelligence Energy Making

He's too much To me What you're gonna do When you're in a fix Cues And got your back And you're Giving Lix

don't make me go on but he feels like this feels very much like a guy that will need Doctor Who's help you know not quite perfected yet you could write a very binding contract with this

it's different because they're not at odds in this usually you're used to them at being at odds I kind of like that change there is this just because they couldn't like get a set that looked like the other ones. They were like, we have to explain why you're in like a basement. Yeah, good question. It's like Q wants to be him too because he's like lots of meaningless sex and violence

and he's living vicariously through Bond, which is really different. He gets really excited about it. Where are you going next? Yeah. Unlimited resources, air conditioning. 28 flavors of ice cream in the restaurant. It's a motorbike toy. If I can get the thing to work properly, I'll ship it out.

to you. Wait a minute. I've got something in here that could be useful. The prototype came from a KGB defector. Bit of a whisket in their technical section. Not a bad chap. They're like all defectors, prone to melancholy. I suppose it's all that vodka in this weather. Ah, rather tasty this is. It looks like a watch, but it's really a laser. Keeps perfect time. But for how long? least your lifetime. Good to see. Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull

round here. Bureaucrats run in the old place, everything done by the book. Can't make a decision unless the computer gives you the go ahead. He's opposite here. I hope we're going to have some computer sex and violence.

I certainly hope so too. And then the funny chapstick joke. Yes. All right. So James has to go to the Bahamas because he's looking for the ship that belongs to, oh,

forgot Rowan Ackinson. Yeah, it's his first movie Rowan Atkinson. Making some choices. Making some serious mouth-oriented choices. Yeah, you can't accuse anyone in this film of not making choices. No one's going down the middle here.

No. Everyone's going a little inside or way outside. You could maybe argue that Klaus that was just his natural essence. His natural business. There's a choice to do anything. There's a good chance of that. He plays a British agent by the name of...

Is it Nigel? Nigel... Is it... Bush? I can't remember. Fuck Wad? That's... Yeah.

Nigel Bush, fuck Watt. Definitely. And that's why you shouted my name across the harbor. Oh, God, did I? Well, you mean, you got this. That's sort of Dr. Nola. Yeah. Steel drums.

I like this fishing lady. She's from Spine. who love me. She's the receptionist in spy who love me. They pulled a lot. There really are 24 actors. Again, there's 24 to 27 actors at any given time. At any given time available in England to be in movies.

For someone to die like a country club. Do you know how happy someone is right now that Christopher Lee has passed on? Someone now gets a spot. That's right. Some old fuddy-duddy. You're right. Finally, hey, I get the coal.

All right. So, He's got to go to the... I mean, if you've seen Thunderball, you understand what's happening here. He's probably seen this movie. He's got to track this down. He's got to find the Disco Volante, aka the Flying Saucer.

Yeah. So, of course, he meets a buxom lady who has a fishing boat. She's basically quarrel. She is quarrel. There's no quarrels about it. Nope. Quarles not even in Thunderball, though.

No. It's just live and let die. But it's the fact that we're in a tropical setting. Yeah. And we just want there to be. world. Sex squirrel. You don't think they fucked in Dr. No? I think they did. I sure. All right. So he's got a, he goes diving now. Boring underwater scene. Very boring underwater

scene. Weird. I would like to hear the commentary on the sex scene. All right. I'll give it to you. Oh yeah? Yeah. What is, oh. It's here. Matt's commentary on the sex scene. All right. Here we go ready. My dad's was a lot of moan and groaning. Now here, she We offered her a body double, but she wouldn't do it because she understands the craft of acting and drama. Also, she had a full bullrush delta of just a thatch down there. I mean, you could land a plane on it. It was a meadow. And when he disrobed there, same thing.

No little nude underlings or little beige-shaped onesies. everybody here was going out in the wind like the way it was we shot this full screen we had to crop it because he were trying to show it I wanted to see it on the monitor to know it was real and then of course they consummated and had a child

because it's all real wow thank you really you're welcome I died recently too oh did he well a couple years ago oh good guy

All right, so the way that she decides to dispatch with James Bond. Which time? Her methods are incredible. That's why she's stuck at number 12 guys. Yeah. You've got to get your head in the game for Team of Blush. She's never heard of a gun. Holy smoke of rooos.

First thing she tries to do here is attach some sort of homing device onto James Bond's hip. That's why the girl in the beginning is able to stab him, because he's. so used to women going these circuitous routes to kill them. Yeah. That you never would expect it. So she puts a home to us, but in order for this to work, she's going to first have to find some sharks. Bionically engineered some sharks. Oh, boy.

That she can put a similar device on that will attract them to it. By the way, did you find it interesting that in this movie, the making of this movie, they straight up kill that shark. That's what I thought, too. That shark is not looked pleased about what's happening. When they do a close-up on the device that's on a shark, there is some kind of thing stick, is it? That's on a dead shark. Oh, because there's something sticking into it. Well, that's...

Well, that's the... Okay, guys, I only know this from watching Jaws so many times in my life. When the... What happens to sharks when they die, they dry out a bit. Even underwater? Even underwater. So, I mean, this shark was... This shark was caught, brought to the surface, and then put down underwater.

So what happens is... their skin can get a little wrinkly like that shark is. So when you see that homing device on the dead shark, that shark had been dead for a while, and they were just filming it like that. Well, shark facts. Welcome to shark facts. I'm Click.

Shagliq. Shit. What you need is you got to row a teeth back there that you've got to replace every six months. What kind of shock is it? It's a tiger shark. Ha-wah. That's from John.

Oh, I forgot that she actually catches him. That's very Bond-like, I don't hit it. Heavy coincidence. They set it up long enough ahead. It seemed clever. He's called back. So, Bond survives this attempt at his life. Now he's going to survive another attempt at his life.

Let's think of a crazier way for him to die. Okay. So she takes some C4 explosives. Ones that she used to kill the guy that she first tried to kill with a snake. Well, she got rid of him. with the explosives, killed them with the snake. And she puts them underneath James Bond's bed. This is her most direct way.

Yeah. Unless you can't holding him hostage with a gun later on. But even that is just, she's just making it up as she goes along. Yeah. So this is... That's one of the greatest scenes ever, right away. That's crazy. It is a crazy scene.

So, I don't even know. Yeah. It sounds a wonderful idea. Oh, surely good. Because I was wanting to discuss with you. She does flinch a little bit, which I think is interesting. Mr. Bond? Now, she was in the lobby.

She heard what room he was in. Then she goes up and plants the mob. But she knows, because he's also up to his room in Theret. Yeah. So she knows that he's not in his room. No, she doesn't know that. But she assumed she's going to his room. Even though he was on his way room and he just, I guess is she already done it?

Yeah, she went in there and did it. Okay. And then came down, and then she comes back with the, he comes back with, what's her name? And I think she doesn't know that this woman is also staying at the hotel and just assumes they're going up to the... By the way, it is interesting that James doesn't want to immediately go back to his room to at least get a suit because he's wearing overalls. I do like James Bond and overalls. That should have been more of a thing. I know. Clown suit, overalls, what are his most embarrassing costumes? Well, her overalls just randomly appeared. Like, we didn't see her in overalls either.

This is great. Yeah. That deal when he goes into the casino with the cigarette case that has a lateral gyroscope movement bomb. Love it. Love it. We're getting close, guys. We're getting close to the domination game.

Well, wait a minute. I want to talk about he goes into his, like, pod. Klaus goes into his pod. Yes, yes. And there's a scene that made me laugh so hard where he goes in, it's like a computer pod, full of computer equipment, and he's going over these printouts

and data sheets, and then he goes, okay. And then he presses a button and a window open, it's just Kim Basinger and doing jazz or something. And he appears to be like the most business-like peeper that everybody's like, all right, get data checks out. Today, her heart rate is up, sweat, peeping is a go. Let's get it on. Was that built for her because she's a dancer,

or is he just assuming he's going to have people that he needs to watch that are dancing? Oh, that's a good question. I assume he built that for her. Like he built her a dance studio on the boat. That's quite a modification. Like just a camera hidden. Yeah, but he's so rich.

Then you're like, oh, I'm going to build you that because then I can peep through the mirror. Premeditated. Heavy premeditated perv. Also, if that's your girlfriend, why are you peeping? That's the other thing. You could just take her out to a nice dinner. Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe he really likes watching dance. Maybe that's his, maybe he's just. the student of the arts. So the scene also where he gives her massage where we skip it over. Yeah. Which is one of the creepier. Yep.

It's amazing. Well, also, because he kind of, he's doing it. No, I like it because his regular, his James Bond innuendoes aren't working on her because she's like, what? It feels weirdly unsmooth.

He's also like making like, as he's creeping his dick towards her face. Like, just like, oh, she's not noticing. It's getting close. It's getting close. pawing her back. Stay on target.

Oh, it's... He's worried about popping a bone. Yeah, it's so... It's secretly hilarious and uncomfortable. And her, like, five-minute take and realization when she finds out he wasn't her masseuse. I think she does it amaze. That direction, which you'll give us in a second, I'm sure.

I sure will. Of what she must have been told. Because she has to go from... She goes from legit... It's like, okay, Kim, you were assaulted, sexually, you were violated. Own that and then let it blossom into a sweetheart's crush within the span of about two seconds of screen time. Ready go. And she nails it.

From the worst experience of your life to something that is going to give you such joy. I want you to think it all through. Take a nap during your reaction. Go to sleep. Take a nap. And when you wake up, it shows how you feel. Go. Action.

It must have loved you so much to have done what he did. It's a paw at your back. Yes, it's offensive, but... It's real. It's reality. Drama. Go, go, go. All right, so in the original Thunderball, the first meeting between them happens at his home. Yeah.

With the shark tanks. That's right. The game, I believe, they're playing. Aren't they just doing some shot pudding? Isn't he doing shooting clay pigeons or something? Yes. Yeah. But they don't have a gambling game or anything? I thought they had, like, Baccarat or...

Shmendifer or something. I don't know. But they do. They shoot skeet. Yeah. Yeah. And James Bond is good at that. Yeah.

Yeah. And he has that great line. Do you know anything about guns? No, but I know something about women. Something like that. I can't remember it. But, all right, domination. So it's the 80s.

So there has to be a video game in here. Sure. Wow, there's a lot of Gallagas. There's a room of 40 Gallagas. Oh, my God. I don't understand what happened there. Gagel. Could they, you don't need the right.

Why they didn't? So if you go to the prop house and we need a bunch of video games, is like, here's what we got, 89 Gallagas. They probably struck a deal with them, sponsorship or something, product placement. Why wouldn't everybody, oh, so Gallagia paid to have 89 Gallagas? Probably, because there's a centipede in there too. But I just, that domination, I want that table, this like leather bound. I wonder if that prop still exists.

Probably not. Or some weird. Probably got repurposed in some. Or I bet Claus Maria Brandauer has it in his home and he's made it work. This used to be my world domination game There's some guy that's probably I do like the way he describes the game Depends with whom I'm playing

Yeah Shelby Enough joking Join us Yeah the laughing Shut us Is amazing with him These are my friends

They honored me by coming from all over the world To lose their money for my favorite charity And what might that be Children Often children You know? So... I'm great with children.

Here we are. The game is called domination. I designed it myself. But my problem is I've never yet found a worthy adversary. No doubt I shall disappoint you too. You invented the game. I know. Like, what the fuck, man?

I will not tell you the rules. Sorry. Let us begin. This game has one objective. I mean, this prop is up there with the time machine for me. We will be fighting for countries chosen at random by the machine. But for this demonstration, I will choose France. Target areas will light up on the map.

Whoever hits them first with his laser beam... It's also got some sweet lawnmower-man level computer graphics. With your left hand, you control two nuclear missiles. With your right hand, you control a shield to block my missile. But if you fail, boom, I win the game. You will be red. I will be blue. Are you ready?

His weird cat pawing of his hand, the handles. Begin. The hand actor. It's amazing. When he releases, when he loses, it, it's just like, We play for dollars. And it's run by silent. The target selection, saying, value $9,000.

Get out some better. sound effect. No, it sounds like we're listening to Moonrake now. It's also like a weird acting exercise off between Klaus and Connery, that Connery's getting his ass kicked and just like, pretend to play a video game acting. Yeah. No kidding. One last point.

If you let go, the controls, you forefights a game. As you were unaware of this, we will begin again. Oh, what a... What a champ. Yeah, what a... Jake. the best. Random target selection.

Japan. Value $16,000. That's it. So, yeah, the big, fun thing James Bond gets to do in this is play video games. Considering the lack of, like, character development that Klaus has, he sells so much in that

scene. Like, he really, you don't need anything else, but just that scene does everything for him. And in most Bond movies, there's usually a little bit of background. I don't know anything about who he, what, just... They're basically like Thunderball. Yeah. I want to see more Klaus Maria Brandauer movies because I was trying to look I was like

I don't he out of Africa he won an award or he won the Academy Award something and that's a John Barry score too I want to see him in a real drama and see if he's pulling these shenanities again there's three composers in England that's true all right so

this sort of this is this is when James Bond tells her during the tango James tells her hey your brother you think he's coming right guess what Calus Conry move Guess what? Not happening. You know why?

Your boyfriend killed him. Your brother's dead. Don't do anything. Yeah, she does react, but then it never really seems to slow her down or anything like that. No, it goes to, I'll let you, I want revenge, I'll let you handle that. Yeah. And then soon we'll be on a submarine showering together and giggling. Oh, I forgot my brother's dead.

Right. Well, I mean, wouldn't you forget, you get Connery there? That's true. I guess I would forget. So they do the tango, which. takes up so many minutes. Yeah. Then crazy dancing lady

wants, you know, her revenge. She wants to kill him. So she goes and kills... Best scene. Best scene. Kills the lady he was sleeping with. James Bond takes his awesome motorcycle out, fires some rockets, skates under some things.

Then his come-up is from... They try to make his bike go in a truck as supposed to make him get off the bike. Yeah. Yogan. Look at her out. fit. It's like one of the villains from Superman 2 and a clown

mixed together. Yeah, this is my dad moaning is why I'm attracted to women in leather hammer pants. Her legs look twice as long as the rest of her body. See, this is great. Yeah. Very good. It's empowering. This movie's tone is pretty

consistent. Like, a lot of the other bond movies don't keep a consistent tone like this. Yeah, so she threatens to shoot him in a dick, right? It's like so... And then she forces him to admit she's the best. And write it down. Such a contrivance. You know that making love to Fatima was the greatest pleasure of your life?

She first herself in the third person. Well, to be perfectly honest. But for a second, I was almost on her side. Yeah. Because you're like, yeah, James Bond is a dick to ladies. You're really sticking it. to this guy who has a long history, shoot him in the dick, I'm with you, and then she immediately switches to emotionally unbalanced because he implied she wasn't sexually pleasing.

By the way, I like the reference to Philadelphia. What James Bond story did we miss? I know, what mission was on? He's got some funny lines to really set her off in the scene. Look at the soft focus. Probably when he had to recover the Constitution. Yeah, National Treasure is a reboot. The Liberty Bell was under fire.

The line about endorsements also. Good. Is that here? Yes, you're right. In fact, I was going to put you in my memoir as number one. Right. This is his plan. He's going to say that. Then she's going to make me write it down.

I don't know. I'm not going to get my pen out. Oh, boy. Write it on this newspaper. Right. Put the Union Jack on it. The dumb pen has the Union Jack on it. The greatest rapture in my life was afforded me to vote in Nassau.

by Fatima Blush. Signed. James Bond. Double-O-7. Why? Here's my thought, though. She does this to everybody. And at her home, she has all of these framed. Yeah.

Like, that's 00-7, that's 00-6. Let's do that. Let's make that movie. She's laid them out on her coffee table and then lacquered them, so it's this hard surface. Deco-Push. She's into Deco-Push. Oh, that's a great idea. For sure. Uh, this is one of the, I feel like only two people in the James Bond franchise that, uh, blow up completely? Who's he?

Like, from the inside out? Who's he? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Yeah.

Cananga ballon. Yeah. Milton Crest is a bit of a head balloon situation. Yeah, Milton Cress is a head balloon. It's not a, not a entire body. I'm, my apologies. You see what we're saying, Eric. Matt, Matt's, Matt, Matt's, Matt.

I apologize. Where'd you get this guy? Come on. Look how much of this movie is still left. That's crazy. I know you've got to go soon, so we should probably wrap it. Yeah, yeah, we're moving along here. I don't want to put you guys under any kind of.

We should, okay, so James Bond ends up on the disco valante, okay, the flying saucer, where he runs into Kim Basinger, and then this happens here real quick. He hears the music, and he's like, oh, I've got to take a listen to it. This is a real cuckolding. Yeah. So you meet it. registers, hey, that mirror

is a two-way movie. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm sorry, everybody. It doesn't matter. It does not matter at all. It's not really... There's a weird thing, though, when he gets on the boat, like, James Bond is trying to sneak on the boat, and then he gets caught, and then he gets brought to Klaus, and Klaus was like, oh, hey, we're going to set C. And he's like, oh, I didn't know I thought I was just coming for lunch, and Klaus was like, yeah, we're going to see.

There's a weird vibe with the weird, cordial attitude Bond Jones has. the thing. That's what Bond villains do. I think whatever it was originally, like a power play or something is all gone, where they just seemed to try and con the other one to be like, no, we're best friends. Like, for real. There's no undercurrent, there's no wink

to any of this conversation. It's not like, come hang out. You finally, I needed someone to play this game with me. Yeah, yeah. It's so strange. But this is perhaps the most classic of James Bond tropes, a villain revealing plan. Yeah, yeah.

This is a good little scene. You'll see Every game has to have a winner So Yeah Like that's not written that way No He closted

Margot In that case Where did you hide the bombs You still think of escape I must say I admire your spirit Oh my God Well Bomb number one

Is right under the president feet in Washington, D.C. And number two. That's amazing. His hand moves. You were a very good secret agent. Really? James kind of enjoys that.

Thank you. Oh, God, he's so good. I want him to do a TV show called the Klaus Maria Brandauer, where he just sits there for an hour and talks. No, it's all like you do every, you remake every, bottle episode of sitcoms, be it elevator trapped, be at the Chinese food restaurant, Seinfeld episode, but you put him into it.

Through his point of view. Please. You know, the multiple universe theory, that's happening somewhere. They came in after me. We're in the wrong existence. All right, so we get to this horse falling. First of all, his plan for her is to auction her off to Middle Eastern people.

and it's no good, guys. It's no good whatsoever. But then I just want to play just the audio of what are you doing and them holding on for a dear life as they jump off a giant building with a horse. Right. Okay. It's not a music.

It's not helping. Katie, you're going to want to watch this. Good shot, though. Hold on. A silhouette. What are you going? Oh, horse is that. It just looks so fake.

And then they cut to something way too real. Yeah, this is a comfortably real. They showed the horse get up. There was an uproar, though, because of it. There is a shot. I feel like the horse, there's like a weird horse floating deadness in one of these shots. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, great deal.

That's the horse. The dead horse. But they do. just leave the horse behind. Yeah, but let's talk about how great Kim Basinger looks. I was never in dispute on that. No, no one's... See, he swims away.

He didn't get any of the Atherton Jones. And then we also haven't even talked about Felix Lider. I like Bernie Casey as Felix's a real jerk. Oh, he's a great Felix Lider. He comes in, he waits for the Fetima Blush. Yeah, but he might in the weeds. Yeah, he knew. Sure, that is true.

And he also throws a jogging. That's a little jerky. That's a little jerky. That's a little jerky. That was a deathball. That was a deathball. That was a dead ball. great escape, by the way, when they

take off their suits and their workout clothes. Yeah. And they're just capitalizing on the success of Rocky. Yeah. All right, here's Sean Connery on a submarine. You know, guys? I just want you to think. What movie is he on a submarine in? Spy who loved me.

I was thinking of the hunt for Red October. Yeah. Oh. Well, that was Roger Moore. I thought he meant bombed. And then you got these... Wait, what are these? What are these? Was I not paying attention? last night? What is happening? Those are those torpedo

missile Oh, that's right. They're launching feelings. Anytime he's on something that's moving is a POV shot. Yeah. Navy. By time. Yes. The show, don't tell. Yeah, yeah. See it? It's really showy.

I want you to think your bonds. Yes. So they've diffused the first bomb because they were given the instructions that it was under Washington, D.C. So they immediately found that. Yeah, we don't even really see it. I love this big set. though, this tears of all a cavern thing.

Oh, it's gorgeous. I love a big shootout set pieces. Yeah. Yeah. They're using Uzi's, very 80s of them. Right. They got there because of the necklace, which he had no reason to give her,

and no reason not to take back, because he made a big huge deal about it. And why is she still wearing it after he's the worst man in the world? She's still wearing a lot of things. That's his best hand motion, though, is the, I cut your throat. What can you do? What can you do?

Long story short, James Bond saves the day. Do you want to hear the alternate ending that was proposed but ultimately decided against and we'll wrap this up? Yes. Instead of the wink at the end of the camera, it would have been Connery and Basinger walking down the street and they pass a man and turn around and it's Roger Moore. He's saying like, I'll never do this again. How could they? Roger Moore was his friend and Roger Moore was up for it, but they ultimately decided against it because they knew it would piss off cubby broccoli too much i think this is this is legend who knows if it's real but that would

have been something huh and then he should have been an octopusy how does octopussy end it's just him and the circus thing is the last thing right oh i think they're no they're out on her oh out on her house lake i think so yeah he should have just gotten to bed with them connery and might as well Room for one more. Table for three. Yeah, never say never again. I think my sort of feeling on it after watching it last night was I'll watch it again. Yeah, better time than I remembered.

Had a good time. If you haven't seen this one, if you're avoiding it somehow, watch it. I was avoiding it. I was stupid for doing so. Don't be me. Do not be you and be smarter. Aaron, thank you so much for joining us here today. I really appreciate it.

You got anything to plug? Hannibal is... Hannibal's on tonight. Well, whenever this is Thursday. Thursday's at 10. There's a movie called Regression coming out with Ethan Hawk and Emma Watson,

which should be scary and hopefully I'm still in that. I hope you're still in that. Thanks. Thanks, Matt. The beauty of it, though, is if you're not, you'll still get checks.

Yeah, I still got, yeah. And I still got to plug it like I was. But yeah. Great. And you're just Aaron Abrams on Twitter? Mr. Aaron Abrams. Mr. Aaron Abrams. Some jerk already took Aaron Abrams.

That's right. some other guy. And if you guys are ever doing a Colombo podcast or take over everyone I'm off for that. That was on my other charts. I'm into it. If I were to start of that era of podcast, I would start the the fall guy. Oh, I'd go. Rockford Files, I think. Oh, both fantastic. Yeah. Both fantastic. James Garner.

Guys, lives on a trailer. We really did it today. Do we have a sign-off? I don't even remember. Oh, yeah. I suppose it is. Matt and Matt. We return. turn with octopuses. Yes, octoply. And then for your eyes only, and that's it. And then we do Specter.

Yeah. We'll try to do those soon. Yeah, because I was saying. Do you think they're going to spell out Spector like they did in this movie? I wonder. They can't. They can't. It doesn't have the dots.

It can't. But I'm also saying it's so stupid. Sure. Maybe they change it to cool words. Maybe it's like. Super. Super passionate. Super passionate.

Extraordinary. What of Specter. What if the real villain in this movie is James Bond? Sure. Inspector is like just trying to bring peace to the world. By taking nuclear weapons and putting them in the ocean. Yeah, we're just going to, we're disposing of these properly. It's like Rosencrantz and Gildenstein are dead, the reverse.

If you, like, and never mind. Guys, we'll see you again soon. Very soon, hopefully. I know we say that a lot, but we're going to try. Bye. Come. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Take nuts. Rachel Bloom.

You all see my collection of men, corpses, and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circledly crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch.

Jesus, I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the Eighth Circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, A Fellow from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.