James Bonding - Octopussy

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Mark McConville and James Bladon join the Matts to talk about how Octopussy works! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com Mad and, Mad and, Mad, Chimondy Podcast. Man, Gordley, Mara. Chimony podcast, it's the Chips Bonding Podcast, it's the Chimonding Podcast. Why can't I hear? What'd you do the mind? I don't know. It ruined everything.

All this time apart, and this is how we start. I'm not in stereo. Me either. I simply must be in stereo. Well, can you hear me? Am I in stereo? What's happening? I can't enjoy this song if it's not in stereo.

There's so much dynamic. No, let's just talk over it. What did I do? This is me. I don't know what's happening. This is a great intro. Welcome to James Bonning. My name's Matt Goreley.

I'm Matt Myra. We're back. And with a passion, we know how things work. and that's why we're here to tell you how Octopussy works whether you believe it or not. 1983's Octopus, everybody. It's been a while. It has.

Our last film was... Never say never again. Right? And that was probably... He stole your water. Let's give that over here. Oh, okay. No, did you drink from both?

Well, it's hard to say. You drink from both. I guess. Here, take this. No, this is good. I'll drink from that one. No, that would be three. Our guests in studio today are two of my greatest friends, my boon companions, from the Super Ego and Beyond, Mark McConville, James Bladen.

Jeremy Carter was going to be here, but he went home to Kansas City. What a piece of shit. We pray for him. We pray for him. And James and Mark, thanks for joining us here today. Thank you, Matt, for having us. I'm very excited to be here. Hello.

Hello, welcome. If you had to pick a favorite Matt. LeBlanc is an acceptable answer. Yeah, it wouldn't be us. Boy, that's tough. Perry. Yeah. Matt Perry?

Yeah, sure. Probably not. I mean, I'd have to really... I need to see a list. Matthew Brady? You don't want to go on his... Broderick? Broderick's a good pick. I mean, he did kill a couple people in Ireland. Tim Matheson, does he count?

Oh, close. It's very close. Matt Houston? But is it Dave Matthews? Oh, settled, huh? Yeah. You're... Nice.

Matt, how are you? you doing great good to be here looking good back feeling good beards back I'm just ready you've got the Tom Ford sunglasses from Specter on your hat yeah and you've got an omega yeah depending on who you're talking to if you're talking to Eva Green it's an omega yeah but we've got dueling bonds here because James happens to be wearing a Rolex the Rolex Submariner yeah the classic James Bond watch right I have a freckle Oh. Half past freckle, quarter past a mole, how'd that go?

Well, I tried the Apple Watch for a while. Oh, yeah? And... Now, which James Bond wore that? No, James Bond's. But it wasn't for me, the Apple Watch. I got annoyed the fact that it would not... You couldn't see the time all the time,

unless you, like, turned your wrists to tell the watch that you wanted to look at it. I am a huge Apple enthusiast, but I feel the watch, even, I would have a tough time. There's something about a stigma that goes along with. Well, it only saves you from pulling your phone out of your pocket. It's tough to you. I saw a friend who has one, and his phone would be on the table, and he'd be looking at his watch and, like, out of the corner of his eye looking at the phone. Say a name.

Matt. Oh. Me? No, it's a different man. You know another man. I won't say who it is. A gentleman doesn't tell. Respecting it.

But, yeah, so I also wouldn't last an entire day. Oh. What is that? What good is that? Plus, I often sleep with the watch on. It's my, like, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can see what time it is, without disturbing anyone. Yeah, not a stitch on, but a stitch in time.

And that time is on your wrist. That's cold. And I shower with it? Oh, now it's getting real sense. Guys, this is waterproof to 600 meters, and my shower is 300 meters underwater, so this is fine. Oh, my God. You know, if you've got that far down, your body would collapse in on itself.

That's true, but not your watch. That's right. ticking. Yeah, so here we are, Octopusy. This is our second to last movie before Specter. That's right. Boy, we started this venture, what, two years ago? Sure did. And we thought, because we were doing them weekly.

We were cranking them out, like nobody's business. And we even worked like four or five episodes ahead. That's right. That'll be plenty. We were like, fuck you this American life. We're consistent. Yeah, that's right. And that went away real fast. Octopus, this is the first one I ever saw in the theater

with my father. it's a real soft spot for me I enjoy this film I've always enjoyed this film however when we watched it the other night it didn't hold up as well as I wanted it too I will say this is my most frequently put on in the background James Bond movie

Really mine's view to a kill Or diamonds are forever Interesting yeah yeah no this is the one And so much so that I couldn't find the disc It wasn't in the sleeve It's probably in some players Yeah I know and I'd have to track down which player would be in Why do you think it's the one you put on

Why did, why? Because it's, I think it's, I think Roger Moore, there's something extra soothing about a Roger Moore James Bond movie for me. Sure. Oh yeah. Just his skin alone. Yeah. It's like a Corinthian couch. And that silky hair of his and his gorgeous outfits with lapels. Yeah, a lot of lovels. A lot of pockets. Yeah, and just perfectly tailored. That clown suit. He looked great in it. Now that's a Tom Ford, right? Yeah, it's a Tom Ford clown suit. At the time, I think it was still. Turnbull and Asser. Oh, right, maybe. Asher? Asher. Asher? Well, it's spelled Asser. Aser. Anyway.

Guys, what we like to do is we like to get our guest's perspective on their first experience with Bond, how it formed who they are today. Like, how much do you go through your day thinking about James Bond? And if it's like 23 hours a day, that's cool. Yeah. Did you have a formative bond moment, or was it just a passing fancy? I believe the first one that I saw was I think I saw four your eyes only In the theater I think I saw that first

Definitely saw octopus Octopus Can we start over? Can you send me the transcript Yeah I'll get that to you So I want to make sure that No problem All the right cuts are made

Oh I want to see octopussy Yeah My father was a searching. I saw Octopus and when did when did Golden Gun come out? The Golden Gun came out, 79, yeah.

God, I almost want to say I saw that. No, no, 74. Oh, 79 would have been Spy Who Love Me. No, Moonwraker. Holy shit. We are really out of practice. I'm rusty. I have to say I have not been watching as much bond by free will as I normally did.

And I don't know if that's because this podcast, it was so much in the consciousness that you start to need a little break you know what I mean? Yeah I see that but I still you know I'll put it on yeah sorry Jane no it's fine but I definitely remember seeing octopusy in the theater and viewing it back then I had no issues with it at all I think I really liked it

saw nothing wrong with it yeah that viewing it again you also saw nothing wrong with it this is great thanks for being here that's one down yeah and I don't even remember the title being touchy I don't either because I didn't I didn't I didn't I think I heard people snicker, but I didn't know why. Yeah. Because I didn't know what an octopus was. I know what some sweet Delta trim was, though.

Let me tell you at 10 years old. Yeah, I mean, it's, well, we could talk about the title, but Mark. Yeah, I have only seen a handful of James Bond films. I have not seen a ton of them. But this one played a special part. Oh, yeah. These boys heard this story when we watched it, but I'll tell you. So I was young when it was on.

So my parents were going on on a date, and we had a babysitter. And I used to scour the little magazine that came with our cable box every month, the schedule. Yeah. For like, I was just at the age where it's like, oh, if I could see some naked lady parts, that would be amazing. Yeah. But we had parental control on the HBO. So dad had to put in a code if you wanted to watch HBO, which was good because I had two younger brothers. And it's probably best that we're not seeing Real Sex 12 or whatever.

I like Real Sex 19. I even did some reconnaissance of like, oh, Octopus has nudity. Because I remember there was like that little N in the description. So I was like, oh, there's going to be some naked. And it says pussy, which is probably naked ladies. I'm still too young to really know what I'm getting into. But before it was like Ferris Bueller's Day Off or war games or something that was in HBO's rotation. Yeah, sure.

Yeah. So I was like, can we watch the first movie knowing that we'd leave it on all night and then I'd get to see the James Bond movie after my brothers went to bed. Is this your first James Bond movie? I'd never seen a James Bond movie. So you're thinking they're just straight up skinflicks. But I'd also heard that they were really cool. I just had never seen a James Bond film.

So yeah, I'm all excited. And my parents leave. And the pizza comes. And I remember getting up and I stepped on the remote. No. I just saw the TV go out. And that resets the code. And he is still to this day, never seen a naked woman.

But yeah, I would. was so disappointed and then I but in in in watching it now I would have been disappointed then yeah I would be like where's that you think it's that lady you know that's the that's the one that's the one naked lady she's way off in the distance getting out of a pool well there's that lady there's also uh you know in the title sequence the title sequence yeah Nip City yeah uh population bond uh but so other than that What was the first movie you saw in the theater that was James Bond? Have you seen it in the theater?

The first one I saw in the theater, which one has Denise Richards? I mean, the world is not enough. That's the first one I saw in a theater. Wow. But I'd seen Goldfinger. I wore a suit to the world was not enough. We all wore suits. Would it be fair to say that it's outside from that octopusy experience, just being friends with me is more of your formative bond experience?

Well, I met my wife because of James Bond. That's right. That's right. I was with Matt hanging out and he casually mentioned something from a Bond movie and he was like, oh my God,

we should watch that right now and you didn't have a copy of it. I was probably saying that most nights with most friends that would come over. Like, oh, I could segue anything into a bond movie. But yeah,

we went to look for it and it was, that was back in the rental days. Like, we went to Blockbuster. We went to Circuit City. I was going to buy it. Well, I know, but we tried to rent it first. And then we went on a quest

looking for a copy of whatever. It was another great casualty of the internet. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what that was that I wanted to show you. But we tried to buy it. We went to Circuit City to buy it. Wow.

And Matt had already, you'd already knew my wife back then. Yeah. She was a stranger to me, but she was buying a television. That's right. And that's how you guys met. Yep. You guys used the television. That television is still hanging in our house.

You're shitting me. No. It's a good TV. It's got to be a tube television. No, it's a really nice plasma flat screen TV. Yeah, this would have been like, what, 2005? Yeah, she spent like 45. $100 on the TV at the time.

It was a crazy amount of money. So you were drawn to her by her money. She's a baller. Yeah. I get it. She is a baller. I get it. That's cool. Yeah. I don't have TVs. We never found that movie either. I wonder what it was. I don't remember.

I think it was a Roger Moore because I had seen a Connery Bond and I had seen a Brosnan Bond. But Daniel Craig was not Bond yet. No, he had a year to go. This must have been the time where I was in my Brian Wilson phase barely getting out of bed. Yes, absolutely. It was only to press play on a James Bond movie. Yeah, I think that's about right.

But you had another one of those? So it was 1995 and 2005 for you? It never happened in 1995. That happened in 2005. Oh, that's what we're, yeah. That sounds about right. I think that's what it was. So you were probably just going along with me,

and I was trying to track these movies down because they were out of print. I think so. Yeah, yeah. And, oh, yeah, they were out of print from a while. Was that the MGM days where they, like, lost? There was, like, legal. reasons that bond movies were not

usually found. And then they had just gotten the rights to casino right out at that point. Wow. Wow. Well, guys, I'm glad that you as adults got to sit through Octopus and enjoy all the wonder that is a, I would say, a very good example

of what a Roger Moore James Bond movie is. If not, if not the best example. I like it. When you say it's the best example, do you find it to be the best of the Roger Moore. Is that what you're saying? No, I think it's the best example of what the Roger Moore era was. Okay. In the sense of you've got your cornyness, you've got your mod Adams, you've got your cue in the field for no reason situations. You've got all the

sort of wackiness that comes with the Roger Moore James Bond movie. And you've got James Bond being old and dashing. But you've also got some serious moments in here and somehow, I don't know how, but I feel like it still is able to play those off as opposed to a Brosnan film, but like when Vijay dies, is that his name? Yeah, it's name and in life. Yeah, well, we're going to talk about him as well because James belongs to the same club as Vijay. That's right.

Does he live out here? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Does he play tennis at the LA tennis club? No, he plays at the club that I belong. This is a real gentleman. Forgive my ignorance. How many films, how many James Bond films did Roger Moore make? Seven. Seven? And this is six. out of seven right yeah yes okay and to date this is five no this is six oh the way we're going back yeah

yeah yeah because I'm like confused this he's done the most to date really yeah by by one I need to conner well Connery had five five no he did six plus wait doctor no dr. no gosh with love goldfinger Dunderball then he did you only live no you only live twice yeah and then diamonds He did six, seven if you count. Never said, never know. Who does? Well, we do. We throw him in. That's right. We did sort of enjoy it. And Roger Moore was 55

when doing this film? He started, yeah, he was 45 when he started and he was 55. On octopus. And he looks to me to be 75. Really? Really? Oh, man. But Connery was 42 or

three when he quit? And he looked older than Roger Moore. Yes, I think Roger Moore held up much better than Sean Connery. Well, I think once Sean started embracing his baldness, I think he looked great. Very dashing. Yeah. Yeah. But he got a little bloated in the later ones.

He did. He did. But, you know, I think they did a great job with his suit. I think they made him look as felt as they could. That's right. And, you know, they started aging up the women he was with, which I thought was a good touch. Connery? No, no, no, I'm talking about Roger Moore.

Oh, but they aged. Yeah, they did for Octopusy, but not for four-year-eyes-only, and due to a kill. They were, okay. We're not there. Right, out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, so I guess, I mean, I'm just going to, overall, I'm going to say this, I love, I love this movie. Yeah, I enjoy it. It makes me happy, sorry.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's a comfy movie, right? It's a comfort bond for you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You? No, not so much. Really?

Well, well. Even though I have the remembrance of seeing it in a theater, it should have that for me. Yeah. But I think seeing it now is sort of overshadowed. Who's your bond, James? It is Roger Moore. Okay. But to me, it's, to me, the movie I can sit and watch over and over is live and let die.

Yeah, that's a goody. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah. I mean. Well, you're saying this is the movie that you can watch over and over it. I get it. It's one of them. Well, do you guys have a favorite that you go to is yours live and let die?

It's one, yeah. That's one of, I think that's my favorite more. Bond movie is Live and Let Die. Okay. I'm the, I'm like, I'm the layman at this table. I really enjoyed Casino Royale

enough to buy it on DVD, so I do own it. Really? Yeah, I'm not a big owning DVDs guy either, so. And yet we did. Yeah, that one was good enough the first time around that I thought,

I'd like to have that one. We saw it together, right? I believe. Were you in that group when we went to go see it? I don't remember. I don't remember. Well, he was busy with his new wife

I do enjoy these modern Daniel Craig bonds He might be my bond Because the old one I have trouble with Sort of the technology and the gadgets Because I feel like at the time People were probably like Ooh a little TV on your wrist

Like in this movie Right but it doesn't look amazing now No he doesn't have a TV in his wrist Sure he does Yeah, he does He's got the Saco The Little Saco watch Eventually turn into a little TV

Yeah. Liquid crystal display. Is that where he's watching the woman's cleavage? That's when he's, well, he films the woman. He tests it out. He tests it out. He tests it out. He gets a look at them boobs. Well, let's jump into this cold. Oh, sorry, go ahead.

No, I was just going to say, so the technology you think, because it's dated, causes you to not like the older films. So you can't watch a period piece. I don't know. Yeah. How do you feel about the movie Wild Wild Wild West? Wiki WikiWiWi. I saw it in the theater. WikiWiWiWiW.

And I didn't like it. I've never seen it. Jim West. Desperado. Rough Rida. No, you don't want Nata. Kenneth Brano has a spider wheelchair in the movie. Yeah, he sure does.

I just learned the origin of that. The producer of the Superman Liv's version that Tim Burton was going to do with Nicholas Cage. John Teter. He insisted had a giant spider in the end. And when that whole thing fell apart, the next movie went into as Wild Ball West.

Basically, that was his only prerequisite. If you want to hear a fantastic retelling of that, listen to the how did this get made episode of the Wild Wild Wild West where Kevin Smith is the guest and he tells that story in great detail. That's where I heard it from. It's fantastic. Kids, check out how did this get made.

We did a crossover with them. We should do. We sure can. Yeah, so let's talk about the cold open. I like this cold open a hell of a lot. Who doesn't? I love it. Guys, we're just here to be positive about James Bond.

It's comedy. It's clever. It's got a bunch of blue-eyed Hispanic Cubans going on. Oh, the blue-eyed. My dad's Spanish, and he's blue-eyes. Yeah, but aren't we. Are we to believe we're in Cuba? I don't know where we're supposed to be.

It's Cuba. I believe it is supposed to be Cuba. Yeah. Oh, that's, that topography's all wrong. There's no. I know. That's clear that they're filming. Yeah, that's upsetting.

Majorca. What are they trying to put Pius? That range rover. Yeah, pretty awesome. That open air range rover that's pulling the horse trailer. Brown, you just don't get enough brown cars anymore. And it's convertible. Yeah.

Well, with bench seats. I don't even know that it's a lateral bench seat. No, it's just, it's a defender 110. Whoa. And it's, I mean, there you could order it optionally with a soft top or no top. Okay. And I think this is a no top. I thought it was the 111.

Yeah. No. That didn't exist. Oh, that's why it wasn't. This is embarrassing. Oh. There's a 90 and a 110. Let's more importantly.

Whatever it takes. Talk about his hat, his soft English cap that turns into a heart. Well, let's talk about that whole outfit. Yeah. Nod back to Goldfinger. Yeah. Where he gets out, turns his jacket inside out, and all of a sudden he's ready for dinner. you know classic James Bond maneuver

and in this one he has a full Colonel's uniform What was he? Something like yeah Toro Colonel Toro He's an official A load of bull right there Oh boy that jokes twice

You're a Toro too But he's got the little ACDC hat That he turns inside out That becomes very hard brimed I want to know Are there's like little wire things That snap into place Or is there like a starch activation thing

Or is it just two different hats well clearly in real life but I choose to live let's be positive Matt yes yeah so

and this is also where we get the famous scene with the tiny jet the BD5J oh great you guys I don't know the I don't know the jet

I know the car I know that because my older brother Chris was obsessed with the BD5s he wanted to be a pilot as a youngster as my parents were both pilots

he loved the BD5 wanted to get one I don't know if they were kits they may have been kit planes what you could just build one of those? I could be wrong. It's a jet though, doesn't it? Somebody's got to build it. No, the BD5

you to build your own plane? Yes. Oh, yes. There are kit planes, absolutely. The BD5 was a prop plane and the BDJ was a special jet with the J. Okay. And I think that thing would go about 300 miles an hour. The jet?

The jet version. Wow. So that's why I know it was the BD5J. And they were eyeing that thing for an earlier film. I can't remember which one. The fiberglass one that they use, the one that is on a stilt that is running through the hangar. It rolls through the hangar. That is sitting on top of a bar in Venice. Venice Beach? Yeah.

Which bar? Outside? I'll find it right now. Really? Well, can I, on a somewhat unrelated thing, during one of the chases, he runs some guys off the road and they crash into a chicken coop. And all I could think is like, that's not necessary. The poor prop people, like, did they have to build that chicken coop? for them to crash it, too, that you only see

for... Well, I will... I think it's interesting... A second... John Glenn... ...that they... That they... I was...

You know, watch... re-watching this movie for this podcast, and I thought it was... I was noting how he shot out the tires rather than shooting the guards. And I was like, oh, is this like James Bond not killing anyone? But then at the climax of this movie,

he is getting off more headshots than any James Bond I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. He has a chain kill there in the... Yeah. ...ticks out... Yeah. Three or four people.

Yeah. Yeah. Just with his Walter, just right in the head. He's got a beefier Walter P.P.K. in this. Have you noticed? I know that he lost it, and Q is not happy about it. Oh, yeah. The thing I love about this opening sequence is the giant miniature, meaning, like, that barn is pretty big, but smaller.

But that foreground miniature of when that plane, they actually flew that plane through the hangar and then just made the door right in front of the camera that blends seamlessly with the real hanger. It's incredible. Yeah. God, I love Force Force. I love foreground miniatures.

I want to get squibbed, and I want to do it with a little foreground church in the front. How is this not happened yet? Should we squib you at my wedding, and I'll pretend to shoot you, and no one will know it's a joke? Let's do it. Let's do it. I wanted to do that from my wedding, actually. Not to be squibbed, but that would work. I wanted to have, like, somebody else be marrying my wife, and then I rush in and be like,

that man's an imposter. and then like have a fight where he ends up in a fountain like spitting water out and he's got like a fish in his suit I really wanted to do that That's fantastic And your wife didn't go for that huh I don't think I ever ran it past her actually She might have been okay

We're a theatrical family Yeah that's right But uh So okay his what is his mission in this cold open as far as we can tell To blow up a plane with a fun satellite No, isn't it to blow up the thing that's... Oh, the plane that's in the hangar. Yeah, yeah.

Not the plane that obviously he's flying. Yeah. You know, I just wanted to say one thing that occurred to me while watching it. When there's a shot through the hangar when you're looking at where it's obviously a different plane bearing down on the hangar when he's flying through, where you can see there's like two engines on the side. Oh, interesting. And it's very clear when you're looking for it. But again, watching it the first time, never, never... I never saw it until actually this time.

time, I think I really noticed it clearly. And it makes me think about the time that it was made. Sorry, I just found an article that said James Bond enthusiast killed after crashing homemade octopusy jet. This happened July 25th of this year.

Oh, no. James Bond enthusiast who spent 30 years building the plane used in octopusy. Oh, 30 years. Jeez. Dies after crashing the aircraft. A pilot killed in a plane crash in Ireland was flying a type of home-built

mini-jet immortalized by a James Bond filmed. Howard Cox, Lake Great, from Devon, was on his way to an air show in his unique single-seat BD-5 aircraft when it came down yesterday evening in a field near Dengarvan?

In Waterford. The father of one, oh, rest in peace, experienced aviator, talented engineers spent 30 years working on the plane, perfecting its performance and jet engine. Oh. He had been in Ireland for several days, preparing for the 75th anniversary of forced transatlantic commercial flights to West Ireland.

Oh, poor guy. The plane was an international sensation in the early 80s after being made famous when it featured in the opening sequence of the 007 hit Octopussy. Wow. Guys, this goes back to my earlier point. the FAA shouldn't allow planes to be built Maybe What were you saying James?

Oh, so let's just maybe think about You know, when this movie came out in 83 There wasn't really home video People didn't have VCRs As ubiquitously as we do now So they weren't really expecting people to sit there And go frame by frame And look through and you really

You're expecting to see it once Maybe twice if you went back to the theater to see it But I think those kind of details you know, and there were some other ones very evident in this movie like with the tiger and things like things that would go by you quickly they're not that concerned about because they weren't expecting

people to go through frame by frame. It weighed the BD5J weighed 358 pounds. Geez. Very light aircraft. I think we did this math before but is this the last James Bond film chronologically to have a cold open that is

unrelated to the rest of the film? I believe so. you to a kill, he finds the microchip that leads them on the chase to Zorn. GoldenEye is the whole Alex Trevelylan thing. Mm-hmm. 006 getting murdered. Tomorrow never dies is that whole arms buying thing with Ricky J. Yeah, but Ricky J is in it and he is in the rest of the story.

The world is not enough. Cold Open is the... The cigar... The 22-minute cold open. Yeah, the boat lady. The boat lady, you can protect him. Not from him. And then she blows yourself up.

Die another day is the Korean thing. Yep, which is obviously tied into the whole movie. C.O. Royale is his origin. Quantum of Solace is the car chase connected to that. Skiffal. It's connected to everything. Octopus is the last one where he gets a cold open that's unrelated and then just goes on a straight mission.

It's time to bring it back and clearly that's not going to happen in Specter. Right. No. Specter seems like it's taking place much too soon after Skyfall. Yeah. Anyway. But it totally works in this fifth. Don't you think?

I mean... Absolutely. It's just... A lot of fun. Yeah, yeah. No, I know. I'm just saying it's... I'm talking to the producers right now.

It totally works. Well, seeing the latest Mission Impossible movie, that's... They have adapted the Roger Moore formula of James Bond so wonderfully now. The latest movie is a cold open that if it's related, I can't remember, is... No, I don't think it is. I saw too, and I don't... I think it's just a fun... They are doing classic Bond with those films.

They were doing classic Bond with those films. what you will about Tom Cruise, but I... Yeah, but... It was a high-octane thrill ride. James Bond's still making more money at the box office. Well, whatever, but I'm just saying, I don't enjoy these movies more than a Bond movie. Right, but they still deliver a one-to-punch.

They're doing the classic Bond formula like no one else has since the day as well. Do you think audiences now would sort of go like, what does this have to do with the rest of it? No, I think people are eating it up. Do you know these are Amanda's favorite movies? We went to see this, and she was giggling like a schoolgirl when this movie started.

This Mission Impossible movie. Yeah, and she just turns to me with a huge smile on her face. Sometimes she'll tap me on the shoulder just to show me her smile. It's crazy. She loves these movies. My wife, too, she was like, that's the one we're seeing. We hadn't seen a movie in months. And she was just like, of all the stuff that's out there, this is what I want to see.

Yeah. We had a blast. They're really fun. And I kind of want to go, oh, if you love that, we should check out, you know, spy who love me in it ain't. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. It's not. The pacing is too slow.

Yeah. Much too slow. Yeah. So he runs out of gas And does what But it like pulls up to what looks like a Kentucky gas station That's right Fill her up

Nobody is Hispanic in this movie That guy's That guy's name is Ernie Or Jethro overalls and Big white bushy beard But this is based on an actual thing That the pilot of that BD5J

Said it was a real thing that happened to him But he had the land He ran out of gas Apparently they don't hold that much had to land on a road. I don't know if he pulled into a gas station. But that is based on a real thing that he just landed on a road like that.

Well, once James asks for a Philip, we hear this. Now, you don't like this song. Not a huge fan of all time. I do for some reason. This is also the last like sultry ballad, right, of a James Bond song. You could argue Cheryl Crows is, but I think they just...

Yeah, Cheryl Crows, I think, is a sultry ballad. But it's not quite like... Adele's the salt but this is a smooth ballad. It doesn't really break into a... This is a slow dance. Yeah. I don't think there's been another one of these. And does not mention the title.

Which annoys me. But how could... Well, what rhymes with octopusy? I got nothing. Nothing rhymes with octopussy. Shocked. Here I thought orange was the only word you couldn't run. Shocked abusi.

Gary Busey. Actopussy, Gary Buse. Yeah, they covered this in Armin Town once. But then I thought of something that does rhyme with it, and I can't remember. Does it involve a doctor? You get the first half's easy. It's the pussy that's hard to rhyme with. Wussy.

Doctor Wissy. From Jock to Wussy? Oh, yeah. Jock to Wissy. Octopussy? That's a good movie. Guys, let's pitch that movie. It's beat it out right now.

Speaking of the title, though, didn't Mod Adam say that she thought this was going too far to call it Octopussy? I think I read this. Really? Well, I'm a Fleming title. Right. Yeah. And obviously, is it any worse than pussy galore? No, and I think it's an honor of black men embrace that.

But you listen to the song, you tell me you don't want to be in a mountain lodge on a white polar bearer skin rug. There's a fire roaring. Every ounce of furniture in the place is either black lacquer or rust suede. And there's a lot of wicker. There's probably that mirrored ceiling, but it's got that gold vaining running through it. And there's a plant and a macramey fold. just dangling from the ceiling yeah and there's so much dangling on people

on fixtures so this is just wicker and liquor yes that's right wicker and liquor and get the hell out and there's every lighting fixture has a chain swagged down that the cord runs in

and this song it's not that it's on repeat it just never ends I cannot tell you that I don't want to be there and I'm saying you know who you're there with? Me. It's just the two of us. You each get a weekend to yourselves.

And you come in wearing a yellow one-piece ski suit then zips down. Oh, it zips down. Yeah. To reveal. Your all-time high. All right. So now we open up, and this is one thing that I really love about this movie,

is right away you get into the M briefing. I just decided to make that my background of him. Don't worry about all the icons that are there. I'm doing a lot of work lately, but yeah. Just him asking for gas. Did you see that? What's next? What's next?

The Instagram I pasted of a... I pasted. I pasted it on a lot of telephone poles around town. Oh, no. I didn't do. What'd you do? What'd you do, Fat Jew? It's a picture of Bond with the teleprompter thing or not the TV.

Yeah. With the big old's. behind him. Anyway, check it out. Also, check out my cat jumping to the tune of all time high. I'm going to look for that. Follow Matt Gourley on Instagram. Do we like side projects? Do we like the little neon guns? We don't.

We don't love them. The laser neon color. I like them, but I don't like that one woman's bemuse reaction to be the L.O.7 Yeah, she's lying on her side. And she's like, ooh. Oh, it worked. But clearly, Moore's Bender's going like, smile. Now don't smile. Now smile again.

See, I feel like she she was like mom I booked a gig it's in a new James Bond movie it's like she had to like really play it up I could just hear her mom go like what is it or what are you doing I'm shooting a neon laser gun down my leg she's probably British and her father could not be more proud

at the pub he's like go see my daughter yeah anyway property of a lady is the auction name based on a Fleming title well we got to talk about the first clown chase fucking Tomax and Seymot running around in the woods.

Mishka, Ugriska. Yeah, so they're dagger-throwing twins, which is henchmen number one that we see in this movie, and they are chasing a clown. We don't know who the clown is. Chasing a clown through the woods, and I enjoyed that. I enjoyed the whole image of the clown being chased

by other circus folk. Now, I was, at this point in the movie, I was thinking about my 11 or 12 or 13-year-old self, who was dying. to see the naked boobies and thinking like at this point I'd be like what the fuck am I looking at? Do you think you are more disappointed because you turned it off than you would have been

had you sat through it? I'm saying if I had watched it as I would have been like what is this? This isn't what I thought it would be at all? In your head what was a James Bond movie? I don't know just him shooting bad guys and boning ladies. It was eight vaginas. It's called octopusy. Yeah, but yeah this was

the clown was really jarring for me it's very creepy yeah it's a it's a interesting and i do like that this guy i like that they show him fighting one of the twins and and and getting away from him he's like rasputin the clown yeah it gets a knife in the back and then he floats away and then somehow ends up floating to the ambassador of to great britain's house all rivers lead to room sure sure uh but i think that's a fantastic way to open open it and then we go to James's

debriefing which is the most British scene in the movie I think I thought that myself because of the egg expert guy the auction expert

but the auctioneer himself wins the British at Sotheby's yes I can't even it's so British that it's erased

from my memory well you know I think we should play a clip for the for the may I have you turn that down for one second

Aristotle I'm going to pull this out so now and here's a pop great that's how we do things in the podcast So because this is my only Roger Moore film or...

That you've ever seen. Yeah, sorry. Holy fuck. He looks as old as the guys sending him out on the missions to me. But much more handsome. Absolutely, but it does feel sort of like, could you go? Because I don't want to. Rather than we're the senior members of this organization sending you out, it's more like,

hey, pal, you like doing this more than I do. Would you go? Oh, we should talk about the set design of the Russian... Have we passed that? That's before the auction scene. Oh, yeah, because Stephen Berkov is... He's a madman. He's amazing.

He's in that Klaus Maria Brandauer category, but Klaus Maria Brandauer skirts the line and never goes over it. He goes over it. Let's listen to him, describe how he would... And Dan Hedaya as Brezhman... A manor-Maheufus can feel at most head. divisions. The British

maintain only if you're watching this movie at home watch his posture it's incredible it's like he's the men and black guy like trying to be human

it's as though someone told him the camera was going to be 300 feet away he said well he was a theater actor he's a huge theater

oh my god sorry guys it's like he's doing Nixon and Ed Sullivan physically mixed together. He is doing Nixon. He's doing Anthony Hopkins Nixon. That's exactly the posture. Before it's time. But I think that set is

amazing. It's so good. And useless. There's no point for that whole seating arrangement to turn around. Yep. So here's the here's who we're giving the British award to. Lady. Lady. There are quite a few ladies here. We shouldn't have to be here in person, you know.

She would always be represented by proxy. I'll start it at 150,000. I love a good auction scene. I agree. One 70. 170. 100 and 80. 100 and 90.

190. 200. Yes, ma'am. Any more? Now there is a lady. Oh. Who wants to get that property? There's a real mystery in this movie and you don't figure it out until much later.

Don't figure it out ever. That's true. The plot is horrible. Yeah. I couldn't keep track of where the actual items. Who's stealing jewels? Why are they stealing jewels? What's the point of the reproductions?

I think I got it. Go. But you what? I think I know. Yeah. I think Orlov is taking priceless things out of Russia. Yeah. Feeding them to Kamal Khan, who is having reproductions made.

He's taking the... And giving them back to Orloff, he's taking the actual items to somewhere in the West through Octopus's Circus to sell off to raise money for Orloff. Oh, I think you're right. But we're missing the point. The point is the plot doesn't matter. It's like a good film noir or the latest season of true detective. You're just there to enjoy it. I couldn't keep track of whether this was the actual egg or the fake egg or what he switches it out with.

He switches it out with the fake egg, right? I was under the impression that they were selling very, very well-done facsimiles of real eggs. On purpose? Yes. No. Because don't they say in the office there are a lot of these showing up in auctions and where are they coming from? We need to find out. Yeah, but the auction house is not purpose.

They're saying that there's a lot of these showing up in auction, but not, they're not saying there's a lot of fake showing up. They're just saying there's a lot of Russian. It's suspicious. Russian stuff that's showing. But why is Kamal Khan trying to buy it? He has to get it back because the original... Oh, that's right. That's right. Okay, yeah. No, because the fake has gotten away.

Well, the clown got it. Right, the clown got the fake. The clown got the fake. So what they want is the fake not to go into the open market, right? Jesus. Right. If the fake goes into the open market, then they think the whole plan's going to go. The fake has to go back in the museum or wherever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he has to get the real one.

He has to buy the fake so they don't discover it's the fake. But you just said that the fake. The Bond switches out. He takes the reel and puts the fake up for auction. Which, by the... Which Kamalkan gets. Yeah. But then doesn't he take the egg back?

They put in the bug or the locator thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And later, Orloff is crushing. That's how he finds the bug is they crush it. So that had to be the fake. No. He puts the bug in the real one. So Orlov crushes a real priceless fabric.

He puts the bug in the real one. He throws the real egg on the grays. ground. Okay. What a maniac. Which is a metaphor for his acting. That's how much he's chewing the scenery, he's breaking Fabrijeet eggs. It's not enough to chew a scene. I think not since Davy have we seen a performance

like this. Yeah, I think this... Does he Trump's Dobby? No, Davy's more smooth and I'll say that about my very good friend who I would never say a disparaging word about ever for fear of my life. Yeah, but I see... I see... I don't know. I see similarities in their

performances. I mean, that's just me. Is the switcher-roo? It's not his mafia connections. It's his Fox News connections. That's worried about it. Let's talk about this. Yeah, go ahead. It's too much.

How does he get away? It's impossible. You're talking about the switch? The switch is impossible. What? The guy is standing this movie is entirely away from him. This is basically a docudrama.

And might as well have happened. That swap was, I just can't imagine an auction house that full of people. All eyes are on that thing. You're going to tell me you have trouble. agent with little red spandex girls doing pole springs i have no trouble with that though that's that's cool i find their outfits much more you need to run a credit card than the women who are dressed like jane in the early tarzan pictures uh yeah uh but yeah derrick miller down there look at you there former guest to the show uh but there's like there's really it is it does become confusing

and i i could see how maybe when i was a kid i didn't care that it was confusing Who does? You shouldn't now. Yeah. Just because, yeah. Anyway, so as far as we can tell so far, the plot is, someone's selling Faberjé eggs. There's a

fake that's made that gets into the hands of the British Secret Service. Maybe it's that they're making the fakes so they can steal the reels and put the fakes. That's what I'm saying. That's what James is saying. So they're making the, so the owners don't know. They now

have a fake. Holy shit. You guys, I'm out. Let's say I own a real Faberjeet egg, and I go to sleep. Yeah, night nights. Drive on a train on 20 kilometers. Orlov's people are going to break into my house and put a facsimile in my house, and now I don't know I've been robbed. Yep.

And now he's going to sell that real egg to put Russian missiles in a tank. Which is weird because you'd think that the people who have possession of these great jewels of Russian descent would be aware that someone is selling a copy somewhere. Or so they think it's a copy and they'd be like, well, what's going on? Let's talk about when they're in the art repository. Yep. How great that force perspective is in the back wall. Now, that's true. It doesn't go back that far.

It looks like it goes back hundreds of yards. Hundreds. Looks like it's the warehouse that the Ark of the Covenant is kept in. That's the real reproduction there, the real forgery of reality. You're forgerizing it. He was selling those forced perspective paintings to the west. Yeah. Lop 12.

A distant hallway Now, okay So, Property of a Matt artist James tracks Goes to the auction Connell has to buy it Forces the price up

Forces the price up To 500,000 pounds 500,000 pounds And they He tracks this guy to Delhi where he has to fly To He already has a ticket

Book Doesn't need him to say Go get a ticket All his own administrative work 55 I have to get reimbursed for that ticket. Keep a receipt, James. He probably put it on the Universal Exports credit card.

That's right. Then he goes and meets his contact in India, which is a huge tennis star of the time. Yep. Your go-to for movie sidekicks. Who is famous for tennis in this country? Well, let's get James Kahn and then Arthur Ash for... first. Sam Pagan Paws. But let's talk about the breaking of the fourth wall

with the James Bond theme. Yeah, strange. Okay, so I'm going to play the scene. James is arriving by Ferry to the shore of Delhi, and this is what he hears. He's in so much beige in this movie. So VJ sees James.

There he goes. And Bonn recognizes it. It's a charming tune. You do take English money. Only gold sovereigns. Please. I do love VJ on the Trashian. He's very likable.

And very sympathetic when he's killed. Where's that rude? Over here, waiting in the taxi. This was the wrong... He really hated snakes, actually. Yeah, well, he's handling a goddamn cobra. Yeah. In that situation, I hate snakes as well.

I hate snakes too. I hate things that'll generally kill me. Guys, I just want to say that this movie comes out in, what, 83. Raiders comes out in 84, right? No, the original Raiders comes out in 82. 82, 81. Temple of Doom is 84. This beats Temple of Doom to many of its...

Yeah, we noticed a lot of stuff. Like the lamb eye eating, the running through the jungle. Well, that's not exactly. Do you think this is all part of that Spielberg's long, undying desire to director James Bond movie? I know. I would still love to see him do a Bond movie. I'm good. Really? Yeah.

You wouldn't want to see him do a Bond movie? Now? Yeah. Even now. I mean, obviously in the heyday, it would have been amazing. But that's what Raiders was. Yeah. It's basically...

Yeah, you got it. I think James Bond franchise are my favorite movies, but I would put Raiders of the Lost Ark over any single James Bond film. I agree. Can we go back to this flute business? Except Casino Ra. Does he... So the song, no one should know the song.

Correct. In this film, nobody should recognize... But here's the interesting thing. Now, this comes back to John Barry, right? This, the James Bond song, right? The James Bond theme, that little ba-da-da-da-da-da, that comes from a play that... The House of Mr. Beesbos. Yes.

Monty Norman. That Monty Norman had done. So I wonder if this is like John Barry going, hey, what if we throw Monty a bone here and do this fun little... Well, it's obviously the signal, right? It's like, that's... I don't know about that. Is that too many? But they would use this theme in every movie.

Yeah, I know, I know. But, like, to have it happening in Delhi. Oh, right, because it's Indian. Yeah, I never even thought about that. Right, but is the, just so we're all on the same page, the implication is James Bond knows the tune. And he needs the tune. He needs the tune.

He's listening for a tune. And that's the tune. So he knows the tune before he ever gets there. Right. Yeah, yeah. And even says, that's a delightful tune. But this is in line with Moonraker when the code to get in is the, close encounters theme.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, just a little fun for the audience. It's fun. I bet the audience paste this up. But if you think too hard about this, it'll really infuriated you. Yeah, this is kind of blowing up this movie for me right now. Sorry. It's also the, you know, this is never having to the other fella. Right. Yeah, come

on. Exactly. Right, right. There's a few, yeah, they really break some water. I think in terms of, you know, things that this movie does that will make you mad, this is the least of them. For me. Now, I just want to talk about my least favorite, my least favorite sound in James Bond movie, any James Bond movie, is the dice in this game. Oh.

That is my least, for some reason, it grates on my being. Like, it goes right to my spine. It's like the word moist. Yep. Why don't we make it interesting? A double to 100,000. Amistabon. Now, they're playing backgammon, yeah.

Which is an old game. be played in a casino. You win. There's really no point. Because they don't really play the game. Aren't they just betting on doubles? I mean, this could have been just rolls of dice with no game involved at all. It's not the most glamorous.

I think they just run out of games. How many times can you... How many times can you... Backer off. Do weit, bunk. A swede. A bank. A bank.

Sweetie. I spend your money. What Louis Jordan does is basically put a vowel before each word and then put an extra one of the end. There's nothing Indian about it. Guys, the biggest complaint on this podcast is that there's too much talking when the clips are playing. I can't hear the clips that the clips are playing. No, the clips, we talked about this, and the clips are fine on their own. But if we're talking over as it's playing, they get real annoyed.

Matt, I want to apologize? No, no, no. You should know. that, man. James, it's been a while. It's welcome. I just can't hear it, so I feel like we should be filling space. Yeah.

No, here. So don't talk now. I feel lucky. Shall we double? Mr. Bonn. Of course. This is fine. I'm talking about.

$5,000 rupees. Ah. I hate that sound. I can barely hear. Damn. Always a double six when you need it. Always. How do you do it?

It's all in the rest. Oh, it's hard. Oh, Chris. He's very charming. He is, but he looks like he's had some kind of early form of plastic surgery that they hadn't figured. Not that they've figured it out now. But maybe they have. You wouldn't know if they had.

Oh, good point. I think one of my favorite moments in this movie is James switching the dice out and the no-look double-six for him. That's a baller move, man. That's classic bond, I tell you, man. That's good stuff. He's back. He's right. He never left.

No? It's your honor, sir. Goldfinger Okay, so he goes and meets Kuhnail at this wonderful hotel where he decides to swindle him for some money after he sees him

We haven't talked about Kamal Khan's giant checkbook That he's basically playing about Publishers clearinghouse check This is the This hand motion I thought it would be hilarious If he was handed like a glass of water or something

And like the guy had no idea He wanted his checkbook But the checkbook's so big Another guy has to handle it Right. And that guy somehow has the biggest interior chest pocket of any of being on the planet. I think it's just under his arm. And if he's really a successful cheater, there shouldn't be a checkbook. There shouldn't be a checkbook move because he never needs it.

No, right. It should be an unborn move to him. It's accounts receivable. Not accounts payable. If anything, it's just a drop site for money, one of those vacuum tube things. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm pulling up my notes, guy. Can we talk when you're pulling up notes, Matt?

Yes, please. I feel terrible. What do you want to talk about, James? Hey, Matt. I don't think the other guys can hear us right now. Let's talk about that Tarzan yell and how this was the year of the Tarzan yell. It's 1983. Return of the Jedi and Octopussy both have Tarzan yells.

When was the Tarzan remake movie? Was that later? Graystone? No, that was earlier, I think. Maybe 80. Is that what caught our imagination? I feel like Grace Stoke is later. Really?

Yeah. I think 85 for some reason. I can't. My internet's dead. Oh, I'll get it. Don't worry about me. But were we as Americans in the throes of like a renaissance of Tarzan? Did we just love?

Well, there was this time where like Flash Gordon was coming back. Tarzan was coming back. Lone Ranger. And it was kind of a boom for the cereal. Guys, it's the cyclical. It's the cycle. I was just talking about this to someone else. But it's a weird cyclical thing.

that the people who were growing up become in charge of movie studios so when they were kids they're nostalgic for their thing they're like oh shit we should I fucking love Tarzan when I was a kid everyone's going to love this so they remake Tarzan and then with you know when we were

coming of age the people in charge of the studios had loved watching television in the 60s so that's why you got a Brady Bunch movie uh Adams family movie a Beverly Hillbillies movie etc etc and that's why now you're getting

you're getting remakes well you're getting remakes of full house you're getting remakes of fucking everything where's my goddamn what's in the 90s stuff my goddamn

Voltron movie I know yeah well 1984 is a legend of Greystoke so you're but you know you got your Transformers

I'm sorry you got your Transformers movies etc etc and that's all happening now so what I think we should all look for in about 10 years

is the movies that were being made in the year 2000 and that's what we'll see man I can't wait for swordfish remake They're going to pay Halliberry extra to keep her tits away

Can't waver talented Mr. Ripley to come back again. I'd watch that. I would too. Yeah. It's a great movie. Oh, I was a kid. But what's the deal? The Tarzan thing is more annoying to me than the James Bond theme.

Well, because at least the James Bond theme isn't a James Bond movie. Yeah, but it's to imply that James Bond is his life is in danger. He's running for his life. but still I've got some time to just do a bit. And I'll call attention to myself. Stunt double has time to do a bit. Roger Moore's James Bond, I think, always has time for a bit. I understand that.

Until the very end of this movie when he is racing literally against the clock. This one is egregious, though. It's a little bit too much. Plus, it's a sound effect. It's not him. It's not as bad. If it was him. Yeah, it's not as bad as Return of the Jedi,

which in this universe and galaxy, at least, it does not even exist. And so Chewbacca, that is like, that's proof of multiple universe theory because if everything can and will happen, this just happens to be the return of the Jedi story we get where he coincidentally makes a Tarzan noise. But why is it a Tarzan noise? Maybe there's like a guy named Jake who famously swings around in that universe and makes that same noise. That exists too. But we just happen to see the one. We're in the universe where Chewbacca coincidentally does a Tarzan yet. Yeah.

He doesn't know it's a Tarzan yell. He can't. He doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah. He just, that's what he's letting out. It sounds to us in this galaxy. Unless, unless this, I guess it does exist in our universe a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. So this happened a long time ago.

Before Tarzan. Someone brought, like a radio broadcaster was recording the Battle of Endor. Yeah, of course. And it took that long. For the course on news service. For that radio wave to get to our solar system. And that's how Lucas was able to tell the story because he caught the radio feed. but the only thing he caught was a Tarzan yell.

Hey, Matt? Or, no, someone caught it and then invented Tarzan off of that. They just turned on their radio one day. He heard, ah, y'-y-na-y-nob, yep. That's what they picked. He was probably a radio op in World War I. Probably in France. Uh-huh.

And he got that signal from the end-go-ed-ed-eddle. And he was in the trenches with Johnny Weissmuller. He's like, you'll never believe the idea I've got. He goes, give it to me. I'll do it. I do love that the Johnny Weiss-Muller animatronic Tarzan is still at the great movie ride in Disney's MGM studios. Well, Disney Studios now. No, Disney's Hollywood Studios now.

They've renamed it. That's an awesome Raiders, The Lost Dark Stone Show there. God, I love a stunt spectacular. There is a fantastic stunt spectacular. I've seen it. It's great. Yeah. Take your kids.

They still got the guy in the bright pink shirt. Is that the same show? The audience plant? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All the way. Every stunt show.

You got to have an audience plan, you got to have a guy that comes out, goes, cut, I'm the stage manager. Now in an actual action spectacular. God, I wish someone would just give us money to make a James Bond stunt spectacular. We talked about that. We talked about how they're almost one, right? There was going to be one at Universal Studios. Who designed? It was a Ralph McQuarrie? Yeah.

The best. That would have been. It still be running. I would have been an all-time high. It would have been an all-time high. It would have been an all-time high. All I wanted was a stunt. They hadn't changed the soundtrack.

bats the song they were using. Oh, because everyone would have pretty around that time. Yeah. Oh, my God. This episode brought to you by Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure. Wish we had a sponsor. All right, guys. Let's move along in the tale of octopusy.

There's a car chase. Oh, those tuck-tuck-tack-tack chase. That every sight gag you could ever think of to happen in India happens. Every yeah every lowest common denominator racially related side gag.

But they're all concentrated in that sound stage. Yep, they're all concentrated in the soundstage. With maybe the exception, I mean I took issue with the guy stabbing him in the heart and the stack of money stopping the blade. Why did you take issue with that? That's what it would happen.

He reaches in the pocket and sees that it's like, oh, this money saved my life. and then just throws it, as if it couldn't stop a second blade. Into the pan of a legitimate pan handler. Yeah, I appreciate him trying to help a brother out. I love that he takes the other guy's money. Like, give me your money and throws it. And it saves their life, but probably one wad would have done that.

And those guys are probably like, hey, we work for being in so. Yeah, man. Why you got to make it rain with my stack? When you gave me that money, I was literally going to get my family out of here. Let's listen to the struggle inside the, tuck tuck where you're hearing the actual sound of a tennis racket hitting a tennis ball everyone shut the fuck out the crowd is looking back and forth yeah it's so loud i never noticed i never noticed the tennis ball you saw the crowd though yeah

i love how the james bond theme really cranks up as he gets stabbed in the heart Yeah. We apologize, the listeners for that loud sound. He really gets him, too. That stack of money's not stopping that knife. That's a huge weapon. I don't know. It could be like that prune and Problem Child 2.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Guys? No, no. James, do you know the reference? No, I don't. Okay.

But I don't question because. Yeah. So, yeah. So there's, okay, let's run through the things that we see. Bed of nails. Hot coals, sword swallowing, fire stick. Handling, fire stick that is

obviously done by Manor Brown Face. Peacock dick. Peacock dick. Yeah. And that's, that's the... Is there a sacred cow? There is no sacred cow, but there is a camel that functions as a ramp for this tiny car to drive off.

And also all the people desperate for money. Yeah. So I think that just the bag. It covered it all. Matt was the one while we were watching and Matt said, and now we're inside. It's a very clear, like,

we're in the street shooting on location and now, oh no, now we're inside. Yeah. I love when they drive through the poster, though. That's classic. That is cool. Oh, that's like in from Russia with Love.

Yeah. This right here, he takes that money out, and then he just throws, it saved your life, dude. Keep it. Then he loses the tennis, racket but takes a tennis racket with him when he gets out of the... He's got a bunch.

Because he's always got a tennis racket. What is... Explain this VJ casting to me. I think he was big at the time, probably especially in England. Explain it to me. And he was... Club goer. Well, my conversation with VJ brought this.

He was the most famous guy in India at the time. You're going to India. You look that up and you go, who's the most famous guy here? It's VJ. That's what they did. They looked it up. I'm sure. Covey Broccoli was like, get me.

a list of famous people. Famous flu in India. Yep. Oh, I've heard of him. Yeah. Yeah. Because he used to do commercials and stuff too, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He was big. Look at that screen you froze. Look at Roger Moore behind him. Have you seen him play tennis lately? Still got it? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He's pretty good. Yep. He still got it. He just did a clinic, like basically an evening with Vijay. You can eat dinner and did you go to that? How much was that?

I didn't go. 20 bucks. 20 bucks. I want to know the actual ticket price for this. 20 bucks. Was it literally $20? Literally $20. He seems like a nice fella. Yeah, yeah.

Seems very nice, approachable. I think I was watching him play once with another fella and he, they were kind of apologizing to me because I was watching. They were kind of like, oh, sorry, this isn't that great. Like that they weren't performing up to par. Is it Andre Agassi? Was that the other guy? Yeah, I think so. But to me, they were playing amazingly.

Yeah, of course. How old is he now? 200. I bet he looks pretty good. Probably in his 90s. He looks pretty good. You get him on and I was there too for me. I would like to, you know, I had to go by the club before coming here, and I was just hoping that I would run into him and say, you know, I'm just about to go to the James Bonding podcast.

Would you like to come along? Ride in my Tuck Tuck, tucktuck over there? Tuck, tuck, tucks sounds like a James Bond. It's a company car. It does sound like an henchman, doesn't it? Yeah. We haven't even talked about octopusy yet Because she hasn't entered the film

And we're really far from her But I'm just saying how long we are taking Oh We're doing a Well yeah This is a longer one from us But you know what? We're having a good time

It's been a while Let's take ourselves back to that cabin They're gonna love it It's the octopus cult Is that correct? That her father started That her father started Yeah

We have to play We have to play the Q scene, I think, for... Is this the most agitated Q ever gets? He's pretty mad. This is, let's... Yeah, I gotta... Moments notice. No proper facilities.

Yes, well, you wouldn't have a smaller piece of thread than that, would you care? Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet. They missed you. What a pity. She says, Karen, I want you to die to see to that, will you? I have also mislaid my PPK. Anything else? No, I saw you. Now he is pressing a button on a...

rope climbing little rope stiffener having problems keeping it up cute experimental so we never see that again no swithers and you also never see this door death door now you're really nice you're not putting that door in smashing cue come along I've got a few things for you very nice smithers here is the herming device ready yet Q not only a homing device, but an extremely delicate microphone as well. Goes in there like that. And that was the last day his hands were that steady.

Or not bruised. Or the nails weren't six inches. We skipped completely over Miss Smallbone. Yeah, that's an unfortunate conversation they have with Moneypenny where it's like, we're all acknowledging you're too old for us. so we've brought in this younger person

and let's have a joke about the fact that you're old but it doesn't work it's like she's setting him up to deny it so she's going like oh you just like here because she's everything that I used to be and it's a perfect opportunity to say like no that's ridiculous but he obviously just confirms that fact

and you can feel her uncomfortableness in delivering these lines I feel like this is the first time where she's going what's happening here like you've had me on this long I think because they're thinking for sure Roger Moore's not back next time. So they think she's probably done as well.

For the layman, this is a long time money. The only money from the best far. Wow. Okay. I figured as much, but I just, I was like, well, that's, that for someone who doesn't have the context of it, I was like, in fact, even Q. What a nasty thing to do. Kew was only in the second movie.

She was there from the beginning. Although she's not in live and let die for her. No, Q's not in live and let die. She's in every one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Up through you to a kill.

Yeah. I mean, she just died recently. If it were up to me, she could go and go. Oh, Lois. Until she can't go. Lois Maxwell. Also a fantastic secretary name.

Right. You know? Canadian. So this scene, we're going through the gadgets that Bond's going to need for his adventure. One of them is a tiny microphone. Another one is an acid shooting pen. Yeah. Then he gets an acid drizzling pen.

Drusling pen. Druling. That works great on bars. The bars that are already bent They're bendy bars They're already bent when he applies the essence Well he bends it in the middle is what you pointed out Yeah

That like well if you can bend in the middle already You don't even need to disconnect him You can just Superman them No Yeah Anyway And he gets his liquid crystal display Seco watch

The Seco Sports 100 Yeah Here we go I love everyone's dropping a model number Except you goarly Yeah well I don't do time I wrote it down Now this scene would normally come in the beginning.

Why do you think they put it here? Well, that's a, the beginning cue scene is a gold finger. They started, yeah, they started spreading them out. Like in Moonraker, it's well into like the third act even that you get this. Oh, okay, I guess I'm on. You only live twice. He shows up in the field to bring little Natalie Dean. That's a plug for Super Ego Forgotten Classics.

on the Howell Network. Thank you, man. A little cross network podcast pollination. Okay, so then forget what I just said. No, I loved it. I will not have you come into our podcast and tell us how to... Take a pound, energy. The top and a highly concentrated mixture of nitric and hydrochloric acid.

Dissolves all metal. Look how sea shirt. Wonderful for poison pan levels. Wait, he just said dissolves all metal and he put it in a little metal bowl. It dissolves the metal ball. I guess. Attention double. But what about the pen?

Now, pull the top off the pen. It's glass by. With this ultra-sensitive here, these you can listen in on the bug. The homing device is compatible with a standard issue radio direction. Those are some great garbos right there. Maybe he's a finger-style guitar player.

Let's hope he's one. Find a ring on watch. Fingles Star. Ladies gentlemen, please welcome to Fingle Star. I'm getting to my point. Every day this happens where words just make a time place with me. Go into the war and

come out different. Major time. That's amazing, Q. It does work. What's that? Also, look at the timeline on how much the film we have still left. Oh, yeah, it is a TV. Very handy. His shirt might as well be a negligee.

Yeah, that's a light. That's translucent. He's dressed appropriately. It's just a cheese cloth, tailored cheese cloth. With French cuffs. Yeah. Perfect image, Q. beautiful

look I haven't time for these adolescent antics it's the best weekend too commander nice beautiful thank you oh go on get along I've got my work to do I'll give you hand Q thank you don't forget this thank you for you Jane

I didn't teach you any of these bad habits I love how that woman just sits there as still as possible and takes it and just I gotta get her for I was there too Oh my God And just for a segment called I was there boobs

Two Oh You can get the Seco Sports Chronograph watch Model A904 509A On eBay right now For 90

What? That one he's wearing Let me see the picture of that I might pick that up But it doesn't have the You can get a new phone Right now At the Apple store

I'm telling you I'm weak. I almost faint for sucker. I haven't had any food. Where's the little television in the boobs? It doesn't come with it. It doesn't have that. It's a different watch, actually. And seeing that clip, it's a different watch.

The homing device is on one watch, and the other watch is on like a mannequin arm. Okay, it was the G7575020-ZGO-Sports 100. I'm going to look that one up for you. Now we're going to go to this dinner scene, right, and it's at a cross between the Grand Budapest Hotel and a white snake video. I watched a Corey Feldman music video today

that was all one take. Shot in his real home. Oh. Incredible. Check it out. It's called, Ascension Millennium. Yes.

He's just trying to be Michael Jackson the whole time. Is he playing the keyboard? He's playing like the little sampler in his living room. Is that what it is? He wakes up in bed with a hot model. Oh, this is Corey Feldman. Sorry, not Corey Hay. That's what I'm doing.

dressed and then this is all one take and he's in the shower and he's in the shower they show him no water coming down and he's just scrubbing his hair and he gets out and doesn't towel off because there's never any water okay the exact the exact model is going to run you 750 oh yeah that's a good looking for the sake oh that's a good looking timepiece rare collectible watch i love that people are going to pay that because it's just because it was in the james model you think that's why but a similar yeah a similar watch like not this model will cost you 90 bucks. How long do you think those digital ones will work though? Probably 20

minutes. Not when the EMP comes. If you like that Cory Feldman business, did you read that Vice article where he said he had to have final say over the edit of the article but he didn't say anything about pictures and so this guy published a he like spent a night

at, he was invited to a Corey Feldman party, it's great, it's a great article because it's all, he approved all the text but he didn't have approval over the photos and so the photos tell a very different story of the night. It's pretty great. He's great.

Little Tommy from Revenge of the Jason. Part four. The final guy. Is this, is this, uh, is this suddenly a, uh, this I need refilling? My brain? No, the, in this dinner scene with, uh, the, the nice lady. Magda?

Yeah. He says, I need refilling. She says, I need refilling and he kind of gives a little cheek. No, no, that's, that's, that's octopoeing. Pussy says that. Doesn't she? No, I think it's... Is it Magna? I think it's here.

Maybe. There's two refilling jokes in the movie. Fill her up. Oh, that's right. And refill me. This may be the first episode where we have to do a two-parter. Because how, Aristotle, how long we've been going? Jesus. Like, I have to change meter.

We're only 41 minutes into the movie that is two hours and ten minutes long. Oh, no, we'll hit 9 p.m. I'll be able to grandfather that shit into that meter. This could work as a... I got a meter myself. My meter's already... and expired. You're going to get a ticket? Yeah, it's probably already a ticket.

Matt, you can't do that. It's probably already a ticket. Go check. All right. Time for me to hijack this podcast. What happens now, Matt? It's time for our squibs or die. Okay.

Both. This could be a real-time commentary for the film. He never came back. He may never come back. All right, listeners, I hope you're in this to win this because we're going long. We're going hard. James, Mark? Yeah.

Bond. Aristotle. Well, if you guys could only let me pick one James Bond. If we could let you... If we could only let you pick one James Bond, would we? One of my most hungry for right now. Cookies. You better believe it.

Cookies... I was going to say a burrito. I was going to say a bean and cheese burrito. And in the middle of a bean and cheese burrito, which means you eat the most of your dinner and then you get a dessert, but it's all there. And you don't... A, you don't even know it, but when you do know it, you're like, I was going to do that anyway. Are you...

Are those are you... Those foods your jams. They're all I know and love. Okay. How do you not weigh 400 pounds? I'll tell you why. Because he doesn't eat the entire thing. Oh, yeah, that's true.

He eats like half of it. Not when it comes to cookies. That's true. It's the whole cookie. The thing is, most days I don't eat full, like I'll skip a meal or something because I get engrossed in work or whatever. Or watching four James Bond movies in a row? It used to be like that. These days, though, not so much.

Matt, did you get one? Yeah. How much is it? Probably 63, I'm guessing. That's cheaper than, like, a residential neighborhood. That's, like, that's good for a parking ticket in this town. Congrats. Well, I feel good about it.

Thanks, guys. Yeah. Like, just street sweeping in my mind. I'll just do what I do every year and pay a massive registration fee for all my unpaid tickets. You don't pay your tickets? No. You say it like, no, I'm brilliant. But that's a, that's a, that's, you're losing a lot of money there.

No, shit. It's a horrible, horrible habit of mine. I pay them right when I get them. Sometimes I pay in advance. Whoa. I just put 70 bucks. I put $70 bucks on my windshield.

You have an escrow account for your... That's right. I park for when I park a... I take guitar lessons in Westwood and I park always end up parking right in front of the L.A. parking office. Oh, don't do it. That little Austrian guy from Casino Royale?

Cassina Royal. Yeah. He comes up with an electricronic steel briefcase and says, Ah, he has your money. Let's get through this movie. All right. He does meet a lady with eight arms. the end

uh yeah so james i'm so confused on the plot right now where is james bond right man are we still trying to figure this doesn't matter he's an india he's having dinner with magda yeah and then because he's like oh you were at that auction isn't his whole mission to trace where these eggs are coming from or going and and he sees her at the auction but he doesn't see what is this chicken run what's his nuts

Kamal Khan Or is Kamal Khan at the auction He's there He and Magda are there Yeah So why does Khan let him Go out to dinner with this girl Gentlemanly thing to do

Oh he sends her to get information Oh that's right So she's getting I can't believe I'm contributing In a constructive way I'm about at my breaking point Just pump her for information You know much gatorade I've had to do

She does that stripper silk exit too Yes After Yeah She really did that stunt Cirque desolator On. Cirque to so lame later on.

Cirque to see you later. I'm just a Swedish lady with a love for spinning out of places. So they have a dinner to talk about how bigger forehead is. No, Matt, you can't be mean. No, it's a bit of it. She is weirdly beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Both of those things. It's for my scrapbook. I collect memories. Well, let's get on with making a few.

Did she wink? Was that a wink? That was a tick. But this score, that song turned into the score, forget it. Now, you're in a little sea cabin, but not a cabin by the sea, one that floats in the sea. And it bobs up and down. That lanterns. Yeah, lanterns.

360 windows. So all you see are fish purves looking at you. Is this where she says, I need refilling? I need refilling. Oh, you can't meet Roger Moore. He really does give a little cheeky. Yeah. Look how tan he is.

Get some of all. This is the point in the film that I said he looks a lot like Jora, Mormont from Game of Thrones, a ton. And especially when he goes out on the ledge right after this scene, he looks like DeNaris's right-hand man. That's true. A lot. looks good. If any of us look that good

at his age, it's true. God bless us. Yeah. Each and every one of us. Yeah, but look at his skin. He looks like the round end of a baguette. It's just like half. Well, if it's a true baguette, it's going to be a pointy end. Oh. So... Really? What's a roundy end one

called? French bread. Bread? It's called bread. Baguettes are pointy at the end because they have a last twist at the end on both sides. I'll let myself out. Guys, I just watched the... This past weekend's America's test kitchen, where they tried to recreate the closest thing they could to a French baguette. And that's where I learned that information.

As opposed to what other kind of baguette? You know, bullshit white bread baguette. It's... You know? You want to have the right amount of air bubbles in there. You want small, you want big. You want a bunch of different air bubbles, and you want a crust on the outside.

How do you get the crust? Well, it's a very difficult process. But if you've got eight hours, you've got some baguettes. We've got eight hours for this episode. Let's start it right now. Make a good time. All right. So she steals the egg and then runs out the window and falls down in a gymnast way.

You know. And she's holding it behind her back before a gigantic full-length mirror. Yeah, that's fantastic, too. Which is... Not great spy work. Not great spy work. You think he wants her to have it? Yes.

Yeah. It's got the homing beacon in it. Right. It's got the beacon in it. So she thinks she's being all cool, but he's like, I'm James Bond. I got what I wanted and what I wanted. Yep. And sex.

Those are good. And Kamal Khan has no problem with that. Whoops. Stripper Silk. I don't think she's banging Kinal Khan. I think she's just there as Octopus's right-hand lady. Yeah, I think you're right. Also, this car pulling up right when she's dropping down.

Pretty convenient. But he had a silk blanket just waiting for her. Well, he was ready. It was all planned. If there is one rule to take away, always have a silk blanket in your car. He may be a villain, but he's also a gentleman. That's true. A lot of shots on that guy's eyes.

They're good-looking eyes. You're talking about his henchmen. You're talking about blunderbuss? Blunderbuss, because he loads a double-barrel blunderbuss, and that's what he tries to shoot James Bond. Yeah, why not? That doesn't exist, right? Friend, a blunderbuss is actually a Scandinavian, because it's a pointy end of the gunwins.

How long does it take to make one? Did you watch Test Munitions the other day? America's Test Munitions. I'd watch that show. You're kidding me? Gun stars. Squib stars. Oh, what if there was?

I'd host that show, and every time I'd do it a different way. It's me at a toll booth, Godfather style. Squib, Squibs, Squibb. Oh, oh, Ed 209? Here we go. Oh, no. Let me tell you, it's going to take a lot of squib work. You want a deep-cut squid movie?

Extreme Prejudice with Nick Nalty. They're wearing these tight-ass polo shirts. and I think they give them false chess because they're all super buff that's how they hide the squibs because they're smooth as can be embed them in the yeah you don't look at them and go

there's no squibs in there you look at them and go how are they that buff but they've got these fake chests on it so it's like those uh... there's one other option what they really shoot them oh that's what happened to nick nulte he got nerve damage all right so the woman that looks kind of like barbara bac

takes the egg back to octopussy. And this is our first encounter with Mod Adams, okay, Octopus. Now, James and I met Mod Adams a couple years ago. We sure did. We took a photo. You can check that out at Instagram.com. That's right. It's the front page of Instagram. We both reenacted, really, the man with the golden gun shot,

whereas both of us, one at a time, in between Britt Eklund and Mod Adams. That was fantastic. If you were recall, they were standing by themselves at this function. And I was kind of like, Matt, let's just go talk to them. Do you remember that? And I vomited. And we just walked up and started talking to them.

They seemed to be thankful that people were talking to. Well, Britt Ecklin just wanted someone to boss around. Yeah. I think Mod Adams didn't want to talk to Britt Eklund anymore. She was thankful. So demure and so classy. So classy. Man.

Who's this, Mod? Yeah. Mod. She's everything you want. She's everything she is in this movie. She's one of the best bond girls, I'll say. And she was naturally still very beautiful. Obviously, has not been getting plastic surgery, anything like that.

But she still looked beautiful. Britt Hickland was just hanging on with everything she could. And, yeah, exactly, telling us exactly like, no, it's got to be in landscape mode. No, you don't do that. No flash. No flash. And then I think there was a look for Maud going like, I'm sorry, guys. Do you want to hang out later, specifically you, the shorter one?

And then what happened? I vomited again. Yeah. Let's listen to the scene where we first hear octopus. We just hear her. I think you went home with Bill Conti that. We did ride down in the elevator with him. And we just crammed ourselves to the other side and stared at him.

That's right. Where was this? He was with his family. It was the celebration of the music, James Bond, and Vic Flick played the original acoustic guitar. He played the Bond theme on it. It was incredible. And Bill Conti did a Q&A. That was weird because that was such an oddity of a bond score, but still, you know.

That big... I thought you'll make a serious mistake. Oh, sorry. It's one very buxom blonde on the right. Yeah. It does a full turn. Full 360 turn. Yeah.

I like that she lives in Dorn. We all know you mean Michael Dorn's home, the man of, played Wharf. Getting back to Magnus Forehead. They've imported a lot of blonde women. 12-year-old me right now would have been like, I hope they're taking them where I think they're taking them.

To an arcade. Nudy Town. It's a very wet sounding. I just hear the water trickling. I like that you don't see Octopus's face. It's got a Blowfeld feel to it at first. She gets a... Bond style reveal, almost. Yeah, she does.

The egg has been recovered. I think, I have a theory that Cubby Broccoli was maybe, I'm not pleased. Loved her or really, really respected her or something. Maybe it was just what you were talking about earlier, how she was very sweet, demure, and was wonderful to be around. Do you ever think about that? I do think about that. Maybe he was like, you're a pleasure to work with.

Yeah, who do I want to be around for a few months? I want to be around Maud. Yeah, we killed you a couple films ago, but we're going to put But we're sorry. Because I made a terrible mistake. I'm going to make some spaghetti for everyone. You're going to have a good time. We'll get you a silk robe that was airbrushed at a county fair.

I could go for some spaghetti right now. It's got three-fifths of twisted sister on it. This robe does look like it was made at an airbrush booth. He's obviously an adventure. Speaking of that, when Bond draws the picture of the octopus in his notepad, it's in full color. Very detailed. It's crazy. You don't think he just ran to the cash and carry

and grabbed a set of colored pencils? Even so, he's a talented motherfucker. He does everything well. Yeah, that's true. He flies a little jet that would kill most experienced 30-year pilots. You're right. You're right.

We've got an hour and 20 minutes We can laugh at that now. Enough time has passed. In three, four weeks, guys. I have him as my guest at the Monsoon Palace, and you will tell us all he knows very quickly. Who is he?

Englishman likes eggs, preferably Faberger, and dice, preferably loaded. His name is James Bond. Bring him here. He's dangerous. After his talk, we must get rid of him immediately. No. A no from you has little chance of becoming a yes,

I assume, therefore, that the meeting is over, that you're making a serious mistake. Now leave, I have to brown sugar my octopus. Yeah, so that's our introduction to octopus. No face is seen, just a very, you know, you think he's in charge, you think Kahn's in charge of everything, and then you find, oh no.

A no from you. There's a very little chance of becoming a guess. At least in the beginning of this film, is this our first female lead villain? Because you've got Rosa Kleb, you've got, I think so. So. But then she doesn't, obviously, doesn't become the villain, but still.

So then obviously there's got to be a dinner where Bond sits down to dinner with the villain. Sheen. Monkey brains. And we have a goat head, which I got to tell you, was not. Stuffed sheep's head. Sheep said, sorry. It doesn't, I could eat around that. I could eat all.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like, you see that? You're like, well, right. Is it on a bed of falafel? It looks like rice. It's a bed of falafel and some rice. My first job was as a box boy at Ralph's, and every, like, so often on a Sunday night, you'd have to go clean the meat room, and I found a skinned sheep's head.

And so we took it out and put it in the service deli, like the deli out in the store, and just, like, featured it on a platter. His eyes were fully, it looked like this. Well, this is a call back to Moonraker, right, because there was Holly Goathead. Ladies and gentlemen, that's why we've been doing this podcast. We're waiting for that line, and good night. We're all done. We're all done. We're all done.

All right, let's turbo through this, baby. I apologize. I love it when we kicking into high gear. Yeah. We go from a prop plane to a jet plane, guys. Tarzan, yo. All right. So, James is at the palace.

He puts his microphone thing on. He tracks him. He goes down to the room. Then we see the Russian general. He's like, what's something's going on here? The game is a foot. There's a Russian general. I did not expect this.

Let's find out what's happening. So he goes, pulls out the pen, puts the ear, part of the pen in listens to it, which is totally fine, unless someone's using a hair dryer 45 floors above us. In a castle with thick walls. Then he has to get close to the wall. So he hears a little bit of the plan. He hears that

there are duplicates being made so that the real ones can be sold potentially, not really. That's not what you're here. That's just where inferring is happening. And James has to make an escape from this palace.

and he does so with a take on everyone's favorite short story, the most dangerous game, where he's being hunted. But he does the dead guy in a sack escape. Does the dead guy in a sack escape? He gets out, yes, the Monte Cristo escape. And he does a noise that is clearly 80-yard by some other human. That is not Roger Moore for sure. Are you?

Yeah, shall we? I like saying it like I can pull that up immediately. Yeah, he gets out of there in a body bag, and he is then chased through. And this is where we find out that James Bond is an amazing power over animals. He can tell a snake to go away, by saying hiss off. And he can tame the deadliest of tigers by telling it to sit down. Sit down. I do, yeah, I do want to hear him say that.

Oh, here we go. We're past it, I think. You missed the body bag. Tarantula. Sorry. I missed the body bag. He's got some good cold acting in his freezer. You know how Indian palaces all have freezers.

I guess they did. Poorly electrically lined ones do. What is he? I would love to know what he's reading. And he's got a picture of himself behind him. And he has a tuxedo on. Yeah, that's great. We shouldn't talk over this?

You could talk over this. Nothing's happening. No one's saying anything. Just kidding. Guys, this is a little. to let you know that we're on Disney's Jungle Crew. I'm a little curious what all of these people are doing. I think this is what he mobilizes a fleet to go hunt.

Yeah. Don't know in the cast system. Here it comes. We promise. That was not Roger Moore. We could do it. They drove the Jeep 20 feet. We could do it this American life story about like an open air market.

at the market. You hear. Yeah. All right, here we go. There's no way that's Roger Moore. No, there's no way in hell. The tear away bag. Ground squibs.

Good. Let the sport commence. There's something that really skews me about him, about Louis Jordan. I think it's from watching Swamp thing a bunch when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he's I love him in this role He's good Yeah He means too works Everything I take a breath A people

I say I am going to commence When Bond Escapes and gets on that boat Yes Spot Michael Wilson Where is he He's on the boat

Ah Where is Michael Willis Beyond the boat as well I want To suck Your Blah Blah

Perhaps I shall play another cliff. You and Magda have met. Oh, I missed the tiger. A lot of animals here. Even some on rails. Yeah, that's right. If you watch, I think it's the documentary. How else would you expect them to move on command?

That tiger was just a stuffed tiger and some prince's palace. I don't know. Get your facts elsewhere. Well, that's a real tiger. Yeah. Yeah, he is a real tiger. Oh, looks like I didn't miss it. James, you want to say your spider effect?

Sure, yeah, tarantulas are not web-spinning spiders. They're ground-dwelling spiders who would not spin web. Listen, Bob, he's got radioactive. That's a tarantula 517. All right, come on. So just do a count of the people chasing him, right? Yes. Those are all my...

Here we go. I assume the tiger would come out. There it is. All right here. Listen, James Bond telling it. He raises his finger to the sky and says, sit down. Yeah, that would be get up. Maybe.

I can justify that because that tiger is brought in from octopusy circus. Oh. And it is a trained tiger. which will respond to hand signals. You should write like op-ed conspiracy movie articles for online magazines. I love those. I've been trying to get you to read them.

Did you know Yoda was really Ben Konovi who had aged a bunch in a wrinkle wagon? What are you saying? Well, that's what I wrote and if you follow that timeline, you got a lot of... But how's that even possible? Well, come over to my house and I'll finally have someone over there. But what about the two ghosts at the end of the third picture?

because they're all there. It goes to the most. And how could he be there in older form and tiny and then he's also big size? Step in my shower. Okay. I'll wash my hair with no water. Step in my shower. I'm Corey Feldman eyes.

Let's be seriously. Okay. Oh, yeah. So let's continue. James Bond out runs just, okay. You're right. That is a really, really impressive drawing of an octopus. It has gold inlay.

It also seems like here, too, he's... He knows he's too old to have his shirt off. Yeah. And so he's getting a towel rubbed down. Are you kidding me, though? Look at Coma Khan's henchman is a good-looking man. Look at that guy. Yeah, I mean, he's sultry.

Blunderbuss? He looks good. I'd give up my looks to look like that guy. Producers of venom that's invariably fatal in seconds. The barge on the lake had that sign. Yeah. Well, I mean, that is the most accurate drawing of anything I've ever seen in my life. That's true.

It's basically a Norman Rockwell. I've never seen anything more photorealistic than James Bond's notebook. Look at what VJ's wearing. Powder blue and yellow Terry Claw. That is... Powder blue Terry Claw. He's basically wearing a tennis outfit. He probably just came from the court.

He brought his own wardrobe. I do... I do love him in this movie, and I think he's a great... I just don't like you know. I don't like how every, every, almost all the field guys you get to know that are, they're doomed. They're doomed. Yeah. They're all doomed.

What's the modern-day correlation? Except for Wade. Oh, that guy. Joe Don Baker. He lives. Yeah. Who would play the VJ type in today's world? Like what sports person is sweet?

Well, LeBron James, he was so great in train wrecked. I just can't imagine anyone else performing like that. It's got to be someone with a sweet disposition. that's well known. Charles Barclay. Roger Federer. Oh, wait, so it has to be time? Well, I was staying at that,

because he's got a sweet disposition as far as I can tell. Let's go to Matt with the sports question. Why do you play? Why does anybody do it? You know he would be great is Pedro Martinez. Oh, I'd love that.

Guys, Pedro is great. He was so good. Baseball? Baseball. Spanish baseball. The best. He's Dominican. Funny guy.

Spanish baseball. Guys, let's do now a podcast called Pedro Martini. Martina Zangue. Oh, we just make martinis and talk about Pedro Martini? Why have we not done that? Pedro martinizing. I don't know. Why have we not made martinis on this program and then try to do a podcast?

We better hurry because I've got to get to my 10 podcasts quota pretty quickly. All right. So James gets the down. load on octopusy what's going on over there. Love his vest. Look at that suede vest. He gets over there and he goes and talks to Matt Adams. And he's like, hey, you're octopusy. I'm James Bond. Yeah, my dad, and he did some stuff with octopuses.

So now I do it. Look at her hair. Look at her cheekbones. It might as well be her forehead. They're so high. It's kind of a shame that he held off showing them in that first scene. That's her money making. Prostetic or real injured man? Prostetic. Great.

He agrees. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's latex. He does agree. Oh. Jeez. Okay, sawblade yo-yo, pretty cool. Sawblade yo-yo, great.

You like that, Mark? Great henchman device. Not practical for working. No. At any point. It's like falcony, though. You've got to have a glove on one hand. And it requires a second story for any of your kills.

Or a well. Or a well. Yeah, or a step ladder at the very least. But for lateral kill. It's not going to work. Or a boost. Yeah. I can just stand on your shoulders.

And it also has to sound like there's an engine power. I know. All right. Fuck that thing. Let's keep moving. But it's also how Vijay meets his demise. That's the other thing is that he dies so ghastly that that's horrible. And the horrible, like, pin on that story is that Q finds him alive.

Oh, that's right. It's like triple. So now the old man who hasn't been in the field for years has to live with that. He had just a fillet former agent. He had just started to forget World War II and now he's got this to live off. And DJ's last words were probably like, yo, yo. And Q's like, oh, he's lost it already. He's gone.

It's interesting to me in this movie too. That fishing scene is like so dirty and it's probably a real spot. And then Artipussy's bed, it's only in the film for, five total minutes, right? It's like a love scene and then this battle and then that's it. Like they built a fucking huge ornate set. There was no set budget too small

for the dance. I guess. But I think that's because that's like really the Ganges River and they wanted it to feel, you know, travel logging. Sure. But yeah, there's just, there's like it it's cool how they use just free locations and then these super intricate sets but they use it for

about the same amount of time. I was you know what's interesting about sets is in the entire first season of cheers they never leave the bar oh isn't that crazy I don't even remember where they went otherwise they're all bottle episodes lots of apartments really yeah I don't remember

Fraser Lilith's house when they move in together you got a scramble eggs and chocolate soup so they find that the stuff is being taken to east of Germany East Berlin right and he has to go under cover as a furniture salesman for no reason.

He does? Do you not hear him this cover? I do have to admit it. I've seen this movie a million times, so don't hate me for this. But I think this is about the time I don't do. This last night. Oh, yeah. I have a listen to this.

I didn't remember the furniture salesman part. It is a unnecessary cover. We verified the Octopusy Circus was in East Berlin when we lost 009. Colmock studies further east. Why would General Oloff participate in a jewelry caper? caper. Oh, the jewelry, sir, I think, is if you'll forgive the analogy, only the tip of the tentacle.

That's not an analogy. That's just stupid. Here's the ID you'll need. Charles Morton, manufacturer's representative from Leeds, visiting furniture factories in East Germany. Hmm. Carl will take you in. No problem.

What? Well, you know, I do get, I guess you did need a shit ton of credentials to get into East Germany. Sure. Sure. But when someone's putting you, sneaking you into a Cold War country, and he turns around goes, no problem. That's a little overselling for me. In a crazy German exit?

Yeah. So he, you know, James Bond, the furniture salesman from Leeds, is on the prowl. We see a lot of the octopusy circus time. You get the guy shooting out of the cannon. You get the brothers throwing in the eyes with each other. I'm sorry, that quiet crowd sound was so loud. Paul Bearer from the WWE shows up at one point. He's got an urn that seems to power somebody.

No, there is a job. giant dude who walks down the aisle for no reason, right? This right here. No reason. It's hilarious to see fat people. This is it, right? He doesn't really... Why is he there? He picked her pocket. Do you think that he won a contest? I don't know. Was there an octopusy contest? By the way, I love the look of a suit, a beautifully pressed suit and a sick. Like, just that... Yeah. It looks so like... You ought to do that for your wedding. You've got beard, like the perfect beard for it. You could pass for like a half-breed Indian.

Don't think I'm not going to try when it comes down, guys. Let's do it. Let's do it. You should, yeah, or wear a Nehru jacket. Yeah. Oh, well, that I'm more on board with than anything in my life. It would look fantastic. Do you take my...

Oh, my. Take. All right, we're almost there. All right. So General Putin is here to take the jewels and put the bomb in. The bomb is supposed to go off. The plan is the bond goes off at an American Air Force base. Everyone assumes it was an accident.

They call for disarmament. They call for disarmment. They disarm. Everyone disarms except the Russians. And then the Russians can attack Europe again and make a happy fun time. Yes. Yes. James finds a perfect fitting circus jacket

Those circus ladies out of costume And just in sweatshirts with feathered hair That's taking me back To my sister's softball team Baby come back The ball hawks So The finale of this movie

Happens on a train And in the circus It's a simultaneous finale You're seeing two places at the same time Each well there's still the thing at the palace afterward. Oh yeah.

Yeah, so we better hurry. Oh, yeah. The twins, blah, blah, blah, blah. Some gold, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is for my brother. This is for 009. Great times. Everyone's having a good time.

James Bond's doing it. That guy's going away. Has he put on a gorilla suit with no one noticing yet? Yes, we're in that spot. He wears a gorilla suit, a clown suit. That is the biggest thing a lot of people. Death bag. People have with this movie is James Bond

he feels demeaned or undignified in a clown suit. I like it. I think it's great. I think it's the perfect use of cover. Although he gets out of the gorilla costume very quickly. I don't think he needs to put on all the makeup. I feel like that's a bit of time that we didn't need to waste

as the bomb is ticking away. Try to do this. I swear this is... Just make it sure. A buddy lost a bet and we were watching. football on the Sunday and he had to show up to a bar in full clown makeup and he was almost two hours later

that he said he was going to be and he just was like this took so long to put on he's like I would have been here right at 10 a.m. to watch this football today but this makeup takes way longer than you think to put on. The actual clowns in this have less makeup than what James puts on.

That is ridiculous he could have could that would have been a great time for a gorilla suit and and times of the essence too right like he needs It's like five minutes left. He saves, he, he diffuses the bomb with zero seconds left. How do you guys feel about that? Anytime there's a countdown clock and you got to disarm your bomb,

how many seconds you want on that clock to feel like? I'll tell you. Seven. You want a gold finger. You're on 007. Yeah. Zero, zero seven. Even if it's not a bond movie.

But it was a four digits. It was like four digits. That's too close. This movie's too close. If it's the movie nine and a half weeks, I want it to be 9.5. Weeks? You bet. You know what's good about this, though, is that actually shows the little

little things pumping out. Yeah, like that's actually pretty cool. That would have engaged. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, that is cool. You know it. Instead of just the lights going out or what. Well, I mean, it was real edge of your seat.

I've seen this movie hundreds of times. Probably not really. Dozens of times. And it's still, every time I think he's not going to get there in time. He's not going to get there in time. There's not enough time left. How do you feel about the car on the railroad tracks? I feel like it wouldn't work.

Unless a locomotive was pushing. it at 88 miles per hour. You can tell the wheels are kind of, I don't know, if you can't tell anything. We gotta go back. Oh, this is where they shoot Orlov here, Squibs. Another guy, the stuntman, got really, really hurt on this film because it's... That guy right there?

Yeah. Look at those ground squibs. You don't actually see any squibs in his back, and that's a disappointment. But he's still running, he's still chasing. He's still acting until he dies. He's trying to get to the border. When he's dead, he will have nerve acting that will still happen, like his body's still acting even though his consciousness has died away. That's right.

He will be holding Hamlet's skull, just twitching. That stuntman was climbing on the side of the plane as Bond, and then he hit like a cement pylon and really screwed up his lower body. Oh, no. Yeah, to spend like weeks or months in hospital. Yeah. Wow. At least he got to go to hospital. like our friendly Irish pilot.

There's so much more to this movie. Still. Yes. No, there's not that much. Well, I mean, there is 30 minutes. 31 minutes left of this movie. Oh, my God. We cannot do this.

Has octopus is shown up yet? I got to go plug my meter. I'm going to skip. After nine, you're fine. In the back? Nope, that's still midnight. But they rarely check that. They rarely check that lot.

Take our chances. All right. We've got another five minutes. I say we're at. James steals a Citrian. He goes to town. It's not an Alpha Romeo? Oh, the general from Star Wars is one of the American generals.

Oh, it might be an alpha in this movie. The Citriens in for your eyes only, the yellow Citrient. James steals the AfroMayo. From the woman who wouldn't let him get on the phone to make a phone call. She's got a nice car. Also, if the world, at least that you're living in is about to blow up, you take the phone. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

From the lady. Yes, exactly. If you're going to use force to get Maud Adams to sleep with you He can use force to use the phone. He practically rapes Mott Adams but won't kick the woman out of the phone box. He has some raper. He just Cosby's her without the juice. He gives her a little pussy-go-loricru.

Listen to the original. He's diffusing me about five, four, three, two, one. I just love what the general says to him. That's the Star Wars, General. Thank you very much. You did a great job, sir. don't try to frighten us with your clowning ways bond okay uh so then they go back to the palace because they're gonna get conn who ran away who left mont adams to die

he double cross yes to the double cross he did the old double cross this to me is an iwok battle wrap up absolutely you know we're crushing annats with logs we're doing all sorts of dumb shit that doesn't really work in a fight the hot air balloon feels like a giant fuck the hot air balloon's ridiculous i think the whole whole, the women holding the pole after, after she's already gone up to that level, they're just waiting for her to come back when they could easily lift the pole in half a second because it would be empty. They just wait by the window with it.

So anyway, the last 20 minutes of this movie is a bunch of scantily clad and tightly dressed women beating up a bunch of henchant. I love that dollying shot, though, when they're tracking it and the girls are flipping sideways laterally. But this is so, this set is the worst set, I think, as far as like how much of a set, it looks like such a set. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I love that Q has a leather

pilot's cap on. I do think Q should have gotten the hot air line. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that would have worked better. He probably had it, and then Roger Moore took it. Where's the trapeze hooked up to? That's a fantastic question. You got to have a camera on your hot air balloon,

because you can't see that far. That is a bad set. Yeah. It's terrible. Yeah, the sky in the background. She kicks so slow. Yeah. Oh, earlier in the movie, Roger Moore does a punch,

and it's like the full width of his wingspan from right to left. He really just hauls off all the way across his body. I love him in his jacket, though. It just says a sport fighting jacket. He also shows his age when he slides down this banister. He seems afraid of getting hurt. No, it's funny. I do like the banister slide down.

The banister bit is good. I do like the slide down. That's a great thing. And the shooting so he doesn't hurt his balls because, you know, James Bond needs those. That double take to the tiger, is that because he gets the idea or he's thinking that's the tiger I saw in the wild? Oh, maybe. It's a little bit of a little bit of old. No, it's there, I think, before.

Yeah, whatever. I think there's no way to know for sure. And he really does just start blowing dudes away. Yeah. Yeah. This is when you get the bonnet thing too. Trust us, audience at home. It's fantastic.

Also, he shoots 33 bullets into that tiny little thing and just manages to saw it off real clean-like. And these ladies come in and they're very appropriate dress. They're practical outfits. For storming a castle, for literally storming a castle. I know, too, we're coming up on him. He's going to hop on a horse. Has he ridden a horse ever? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks kind of uncomfortable on a horse in this. Well, I think that's because he's busy with his tiny television. You know? He's just always watching the footage from the hot air balloon. He wants to know what's happening. I forgot about this. They have to get on a plane now.

That's right. This ending is too much. Everyone knows how to fly, it seems like, too. Yeah, you know, it's the world of James Bond. Everyone can fly everything all the time. It doesn't matter what it is. Again, practical uniforms. And here comes Q to save the day.

That ought to knock him out. And then he's going to get the ladies are going to love him. And Bond rides a... See? Oh, that's very sweet. Now, Bond rides a horse to a plane, gets on a plane, on the outside of the plane. Some great stunt, though. Like Mission Impossible.

That's some great stunt work. So good. I will tell you, it looks like these people are having a blast on this movie. Like, I bet you the atmosphere is electric. People are just rolling around. Yeah. Just... I do like that snap in the face, because that would hurt a shit ton.

Yeah. This is back when you were a stuntman, you could look at the movie and go, like, see, it's very clearly. me right there. Yeah. Like they were not afraid to let the stuntman. He's blonde at one point. Yeah.

Yeah. So he's having some trouble working the stick because James's feet are on the fin and he has to get back into the plane somehow. There's handles now

on top of this plane, which there wouldn't be. Right. But that's correct. Whatever. They've been added for our convenience. And now James gets in

and then they jump out of it. a moving plane that's going 85 miles an hour. Yeah, there's some pavement back there. They're clearly landing on a runway right there. That's clearly a runway. And inertia does not take them over the cliff. At Luis Jordaen's, like, afraid acting is the worst.

They'll kill us all. He's a look on his face when he's crashing. Oh, we're so close. It's almost happening. It's almost the end of the movie. Why does he fly it into there? He's off the fin. He has full control of his plane now.

Yeah, he really could have not died. He could have easily not died, gotten away with all the things he was trying to get away with, except for his henchmen. So the end of the movie is the Russian government says, I don't worry. And then I do want to hear the declaration of James Bond's huge dick. Huge what? His huge dick. You'll see. And then let the music play, because that's a good song.

I wish. What? I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition. And now we cut out to the outside of the boat, and then here we see. James! It's true. What could that possibly be otherwise? Like he just has a painting of her face down there?

I mean, what else could it possibly? She's already seen it. Yeah. That's a good point. So why is she surprised? Maybe he tattooed her name. It's 83. Maybe he solved a Rubik's Cube real fast.

Yeah. Could be swollen from the banister incident. Maybe he got like a belly button octopus tattoo from the highly detailed picture in his drawing. He knitted seven other little dicks. He just sat right on top of it. He knitted them. Look, it's an octopanus. We are an all-time high guys.

If you made it this far with us, you've done. You're our favorite. favorite listeners? Listener. The one guy that made it through this. If you made it through this, tweet at

Matt and I. Octopussy, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Octopussy Strong. Octopus strong is the better. Hashtag octopussy strong. If you made it through

this entire podcast, Octopus strong. Tweet at Matt Goerley, at Matt Myra, at Mark McCondville, and at James Bladen. Octopsy Strong. Yeah, I'd like to hear from you.

Let us know if you made it all the You made it through the movie or this. Either way. Oh, man. I barely made it through this movie when we watched. We barely made it through this podcast. We barely made it through. We barely.

This podcast had a nasty habit of survival. There it is. James and Mark. Thank you for joining us. James Bonding will return with either mission briefing or for your eyes only as we roll into Specter. Yeah, we do want to talk about that Specter trailer. We got to do Free Eyes Only. Spector is

less than three months away. It's coming, barreling fast at the end of October. And we're going to get this thing wrapped up for everybody. And not wrapped up, wrapped up, but, you know,

until another James Bond movie gets made. We are never going to wrap this up. However, I have been working on this small little jet for the past 30 years and I'm about to take my maiden flight. No, head over to Ireland.

I'm with you on that. Now leaving, nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food. And I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lord.

If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Fake nuts. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection. men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn.

You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletitch. Jesus, I mean, Jazzos.

Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, A Fellow from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast, or where you get your podcast.