James Bonding - On Her Majesty's Secret Service with Maurice LaMarche

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

The Matts sit down to talk one of the best Bonds there is with one of the best voices there is, Maurice LaMarche. Plus, Ian Fleming and Orson Welles may stop by. Not sure, you'll have to listen. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Red Dad. James Bonding Podcasts. Hey, everybody. Welcome to James Bonding. I'm Matt. And I'm also Matt. Oh, we have got a treat for you, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, boy.

This has been... We've had some long time comins before, but this is the longest time coming. Yeah. Well, second longest time coming because once Pierce Brosnan gets on, that'll be the longest time coming. Don't even... Well, boys, I'm glad to be here. Thank you so much. Now, Mr. Goorley, you'll probably have a problem with me.

Oh, no. No, no. What you heard is wrong. I think someone got our names mixed up. I'm the one who loves the Brosnan films. Wait, no. Matt, can't stop dishing on them. It's my nightmare.

Maurice LaMarsh, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, thanks, guys. Yeah, I've been wanting to do this. I am a fan of the podcast since... Well, since you guys broke out the specter, the skyfall episode. Oh, man. And I discovered you, I said, I need something to listen to while walking the dog. I just acquired this dog.

Needed a lot of walking. And boom, there you were. And, you know, I clicked on. And I was hooked ever since. I went back for all the other shows. And I do not miss an episode of this. So I'm honored and thrilled to be here. Very kind.

I hope this is the first of many. You also helped us out with our recent live show, will be available soon on Stitcher Premium. Use the promo code Bonding, probably. Just Bond. There you go. That too. Whatever.

Try one of those. It's Bond. I'm a huge fan of the show. And I happen to you. Well, likewise, we're big fans of years. So this has been exciting for us to, we've talked to you for a while. And it's always been that we were going to do the old casino royale, which we still intend to do. But it just because of our schedules, we haven't even been able to tackle an off phase movie yet.

but we'll get to that as well. So today we're doing a legit Bond movie. Which, you know, this one also resonates with me a tremendous amount. It's perhaps one of the most legitimate Bond movies. Yeah. And, you know, with a controversial history as well. Yeah. This was the first one I ever went to see by myself.

Really? Yeah, because I was thinking about it. I know you always ask you guests, so I'll just jump right in. Please. My first Bond film was Dr. No. My dad took me when I was like five years old. which means that it was after its initial release. But when I was a kid,

they had these thing called second-run theaters where they played double features, you know, after a film had been in its initial release. So I saw it on a double feature with my little brother. I was five, and it was built, I think, with North to Alaska. You know, they just throw these things in theaters. What is that?

Just like a B-movie? It was a John Wayne picture. Oh. to Alaska, the rush is on. That's right, yeah, exactly. That's the theme song to the thing. So, and I just, I remember seeing it and not paying particular attention to it, except for the shower scene.

Otherwise, my brother and I were down below the seats, and we were like, you know, having our own little, you know, we were having, we did imaginary games and what if we were to go to a spaceship to Mars? But every now and again, I'd pop up and they're, oh, my gosh, naked people. What year would this have been? This would have been, like, 63. Oh, so right after. Right after, yeah.

Like as is, when it was in second run. And, but Honor Majesty Secret Service was the first Bon film I ever took my own money, went downtown, got on a bus at 11 years old with my friend Steve. And we went downtown to see on our own the first new James Bond movie. And I'd seen the others on TV, but this was the first theater bond movie that I ever took myself to. Wow. And it was a real cool. Was there an air of disappointment? Yeah, that's a good question.

I think I was too young to be disappointed because I'd only been fed Sean Connery's bond in small chunks. Did you know that it was not going to be Connery when you went to the theater? Yes, yes. I was aware, you know, I was reading the papers, you know, when I was in school, you had to do these things called current events. So I was always in the entertainment pages because that's the stuff I could relate to, television.

Sure. And, you know, so I was like, wow, a new James Bond. with interesting ears. Yeah. Even his silhouette, they weren't showing you his face. It was like, those ears. And I was like, I got to see this guy. And so I took my, you know, some savings.

And my dad helped me out. In those days, five bucks got you downtown to the movie, buying popcorn. I think I'm like your third, like your third oldest guest that I'm old enough to remember. Back in my day, you could do them, you could go to a movie for $5. You can't even take a pass for $5. But so I remember going to that. And so he became kind of my, my first movie bond in a real movie theater. And the experience kind of washed over me.

And I've, I've gone through a kind of a roller coaster with Leasonby because I started out loving him as like the first real cinematic bond that I paid attention to. Saw it on TV. He wasn't really that great. He was almost done. And rewatching it last night. and having watched Becoming Bond the night before. Oh, wow.

I developed a new respect for him and I thought he did a pretty terrific job for his entry into the character. Yeah. Yeah. And I know that this is, I don't know if this is going to air before our live one, but I know you came to me in the audience

and it came down to this picture and another in the kind of vote. And I picked the other saying that this one is the one everybody says would have been the best bond if only Connery were in it. But as I watched it, I don't know if Connery would have improved this picture.

I wonder if any of the other casting would have been different, i.e. would it have been Diana Rig? Right. Against John Connery, or would they have cast someone? And it really matters if it's Connery in his prime or diamonds are forever. Connery, I don't think would have worked as well.

Well, he probably would have been in between. Yeah. You could see his prime. fading away and you only live twice. Yeah. Yeah, but I even would think that you only live twice, Connery, he's still just kind of phoning it in a little bit.

And the one thing, you know, you can argue about whether Laysenby is effective, I feel like he's invested in it, you know, and trying. But I'd like to think that if Connery had seen the script, again, I'm not voting that Connery should have done this picture. If you'd have seen this script, you go, all right, this is a good one. Yeah.

Let's do this one. Yeah. I'll do this. Yeah. And, you know, I don't know. I just, but Laysenby's, Laysenby has a kind of a weird vulnerability that, that works for this one story. Yeah. Because it's the, I think, the most human Bond story until Casino Royale. Yeah.

The reboot Casino Royale. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I for sure agree with that. That is, it, you know, it's interesting watching it again now. It's been a few years since I've actually watched it all the way through. And having now, having seen Bebombe documentary, it's on. on Hulu. If anyone hasn't seen it, you should see it. We should probably do an episode about it eventually.

Maybe the next episode should be that. Oh, maybe. Ooh, Matt. What, you're adjusting the thermostat and adjusting your body by taking off a sweater? It's a little warm. You're doing so many things right now. It's a little warm. I'm just turning on the fan. But I think there's two ways I look at this. I'm like, oh, it would be great if Connery did another one. But really, I think what would have been great is if Lays & Bee had done diamonds or forever. that version of Diamonds of Forever? Something like that. Just to see what his

just to see what his... What's that take? What's his take on roaming around Vegas, driving a car on two wheels, flipping it to the other two wheels fighting in that elevator? I would have enjoyed seeing that. There's some stylistic choices in this

that are interesting, which we'll get to, I'm sure, but I think rather... There's two things. It's very close for me. I think you either have con if you're given the choice of either having connery in this one or having lazy and be in in more. I don't mean Roger Moore. I mean in more movies.

Which do you choose? I think I think I'd like to have seen Laysenby and Diamonds. Yeah. More than planting Connery back in O HMMS, MSS, which I never thought I'd hear myself say. But upon watching it again, I don't know if it would. has been as good a picture with Sean. Not that he doesn't have the acting chops. Right. But I mean, I don't know if we're going to go sequentially through the picture,

but there's one scene in particular that I couldn't imagine Connery playing well. And that's the scene where the jig is up. He's made his escape, but he's stuck in that village. And the best he can do is a frigging barn coat. Yeah. And he knows he's fucked. Oh, yeah. I love that moment.

And he's wandering through and he's hoping the people will protect him, but he's so damn tall. and so distinctive looking, they spot him. And at one point, he hunkers down and sits down. And there's, Blazinebe did such a terrific job. Just with this one moment that my hat came off to him, he looks frightened. He looks alone. And he's like, you can see sitting there going,

so this is how it all ends. Yeah. You know, not in a big death trap, but in a fucking carnival. Yeah. That resonated with me this time, too. I remember watching that exact moment and thinking, like, he looks afraid and vulnerable. And you wouldn't see that from Connor.

And another thing is when Blowfelt catches him that he's not Hillary Bray because he made a mistake, that's just not a very connery thing to make a mistake like that. You know, he just got one thing about the lineage wrong and that was enough for Blowfelt to say basically, I know you're not Hillary Bray. Well, yeah, except that, you know, nobody ever takes as good care of your needs as you will. So I believe that Blofeld knew that already. And it's, you know, obviously bond to some kind of photographic memory, audiographic memory genius that whatever he hears he remembers. Lepidoptery. Yeah.

And he, lepidaptory. That was a beautiful moment. And that was more father and son than it was with Conry. I enjoyed that too. But, you know, it's believable that he would make that one mistake as in impressive as his knowledge and his abilities as a mimic apparently. You know, I could have been a nightclub entertainer. Look at me do you, Sir Hillary. I'm realizing. I was like, oh my gosh. Did you know George Baker? By the way, I listened to the

Q&A and nice catch on the George Baker. Oh, and I, Claudius? Yes. Oh, yeah. Because I love DiClaudez. Oh, yeah. Of course, I'm old enough to have seen it in first run. But George Baker, Did you know he was up for Bond at one point? I don't think I did. Yeah. I probably read that at some point because I've gone through all of those. When they were sort of sniffing around at the beginning of you only live twice knowing this was going to be Sean's last one. Baker was on the short list, as was Jeremy Brett.

Oh, right, right. You know, Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. Other British actors. So this was sort of his consolation prize. Yeah. You'll get to loop James Bond and be in the picture for a few minutes as an older, fuddy, dutty. You find that all of the runners up for Dunders up for Dundee.

James Bond usually found themselves to a secondary role in one of the movies, like Julian Glover, or, you know. I think that speaks to, there's a, you know, as... The laziness of the producers? I know it was laziness or a loyalty. Yeah, the loyalty. I think there's a little bit of a loyalty that, I don't know whether it was Saltzman or Broccoli, but I guess it must have been broccoli because it continued after Saltson's tenure. But I kind of like that.

And one thing I noticed looking up credits is that everybody knew everybody. You know, they showed up like Maybomb. was writing pictures way before the Bond pictures and he worked with who directed Dr. Noe and Terrence Young. They went back to like the 50s

you know 50s British cinema together and it's that thing of you know hanging together and you know helping your friend and say hey I know a guy yeah yeah it's been going on for years It's a small world But that moment It's a small island country

Yes it certainly is It's a small cottage industry It's a little little Irish village A rich man if you were either American or Canadian and living in England at that time because they would use you over and over as the American parts.

Sure. Well, Lois Maxwell's Canadian. Right. And there's a 12-year age difference with her in Laysenby. That just felt a little, upon watching it last night,

I didn't know, it sort of bothered me when I was a kid because I remember thinking, she looks like a mom. He doesn't quite look like a dad. I liked the flip. I mean, usually it's, the other way around.

True. Yeah, and praise of older women. You know what? Go for it, Lois. Yeah. But what is he 29 in this movie or 30? I think he's like 32. You know, a quick check.

Lover's not experts? The sort of smoking and sun you got in those days really. It did. It did. It was the Mad Men era. Yeah. And people just aged differently in those days. Let's see.

But he was the, I mean, he was the youngest. Obviously, everybody knows that. But lover, not expert. But no, I just... He was 29 when they made this. He was actually 29. Yeah. So, wow.

And Connery, having just departed was, how old? Well, departed then. No, he would have been like 40, probably. Yeah. And Lois Maxwell was what would have been in 41. Which, you know, not a horrible, horrible age difference, but it just looked a little strange cinematically. And the other, the other moment from the people...

picture where I thought that it did need to be Connery was the big goodbye at the end. Yeah. I thought, but they don't have that history. Right, right. He's throwing that hat to her only for the second time. And that was their thing. And that's where that's the one spot where I went, that needs to be Sean. Yeah.

But that's the only place where I really kind of missed Sean. Yeah. Yeah. But that little moment in the, in the, in the fair, the other thing that was beautiful about but was I know that you guys have made fun of the song. Do you know where Christmas trees all grow, or whatever the hell it is. You know where Santa Claus. Yeah, it comes around.

Right on, as he's feeling his lowest, right on that moment, he looks down, sees the skates. And the lyric of the song, written by the brilliant Hal David. Oh, yeah. Was, they need friendship and kindness. And it's like he looks up and there's she is and she saves him. And I just, that, I actually got a little lump in my throat. And you know that's on purpose. At that moment.

Peter Hunt is so, I don't think there's been a more stylized director than Peter Hunt. Maybe die another day for all the wrong reasons. Right. But, I mean, he is really going for style in this film with the crash zoom, some of the slow-mo. And it's, it's jarring at times, but I find it refreshing for these, you know, this movies. Yeah, some of the fighting crash zooms that they're doing, I found to be a little. It's almost like anime at times. It's a little off balance.

It's not as precise as say the quick cuts of the would have been in the first Batman, the first Batman film with Christian Bale. Oh, yeah. Batman McGins. Yeah. Where I found that, I was like, show me one shot of this guy fighting for real. Instead, it's just close-ups of a fist. But this was a little more jarring.

I, let's just sort of jump into when we first see him on that beach. Yeah. Well, first of all, so we're to understand that as soon as Blofeld gets away on his little monorail, that Bond has been doing nothing but chasing him for two years. It's crazy. It is crazy that they acknowledge that he's still looking for Blofeld, but then they don't recognize each other. And we've talked about this before. It's because they shot the movies out of order of the books, and they're just kind of, who cares, you know, dismissing it.

But yeah. If he's been looking for him, you do assume that they've had a run-in of some kind and why they don't recognize each other. Yeah, why keep the audience in the dark? You only live twice? Yeah. Yeah. But in the books, he would not have seen him prior to this. So that's why they're just going with what's going on in the books.

But in the, I remember reading somewhere, and again, I hope I'm not manufacturing this memory. I do that a lot. We do it often. But I remember reading that they were. We're going to do a big sort of reveal of bandages coming off of Bond's face, and he's had his appearance altered, and now he's Laysenby. That was going to be one of the conceits of the film. Okay, great.

I want to say they do that in the book, and you only live twice. He is killed and lives for a while. I think he gets married as well for real to a Japanese woman, and then does have plastic surgery or some kind of change of appearance. I can't remember what it is. It makes him look Japanese. No, it's not that. It's more, I think, just to drop out of...

It's been so long since I read it. At the end of... He only lived twice the book. Doesn't he have a psychotic break and actually, like, lives with that woman as a Japanese man? And I think he has, like, amnesia. He doesn't know who he is. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, he's been through a lot. Yeah. This James Bond character. But maybe it's just simply because Blowfeld doesn't have earlobes anymore. That's like, well, I don't recognize him. I always identify people by their earlobes. Obviously, you're not Bloffeld.

Your ears would have lobes. But the first sighting of him in the, so he's in the Aston Martin, pulls off to the side of that beautiful Mercury Cougar. When he fights on the beach, he's throwing punches like, I don't know. You can tell. Like a cartoon? Well, he is like. I think he's really throwing those punches. There's one punch he does from the water where he, I never have seen someone stand up so straight and throw his hands so far in the air.

And that combined with those zooms, that's why it feels like anime to me. Like it just is so big. And also he didn't know how to stage fight. So that's also the problem. You mean because he was just throwing real punches? Didn't one of those actors get hurt? Yeah. Yeah, in the screen test, apparently.

He's told that story. I don't know. That's his calling card. He hadn't started studying with Bruce Lee yet. No, I don't think so. He was a Bruce Lee, a Gicundo student later on. But he threw some decent kicks. I thought, well, he must have some marshal.

large because those his kicks weren't half bad you know what makes his fights look good too is that his tailoring specifically on his clothing is so great and it fits his torso and you just see the physique of this super tall lean man especially when his shirt is wet I know with those frills man but his body like he's he I love the way his clothes are tailored in this movie they just are so well tight in all the right places but they are I mean they he ends up looking like a comic book figure in a good way, you know, that especially in those fights, because he's also has this really broad, manly stance. So he's not some hulking guy, but you feel like he's got a low center of gravity and he could really throw a punch. I like that. He doesn't look off balance. No. Yeah. Or Roger Moore is a little more.

Even though he throws that giant hook. Yeah. It still looks like he can stay, you know, feet planted in the ocean. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. The moment before that, though, that I, one of my notes was that moment in universal exports. First of all, I love that close-up on the sign. Oh, I know. It's so textured. It just looks like, you know, just. And that's Peter Hunt.

And golden. Walking by in the reflection. Oh, is it really? Oh, brilliant. Doing his little hitchcock there. But the dynamic between M and Q, I don't know if that's the first time has just been those two guys.

Yeah. But I love where he bats the frigging radioactive wind. And so, oh, great, M's an asshole to everybody. Okay, it's not just James. Or everybody's just an asshole to Q. They got to push the nerd around. It is weird that that's Q's really

gadget scene in the movie. It's explaining radioactive Lint. But it is like a big sign right in the front that we're going back to basics here again. Yeah. I do wish he had like shown off the briefcase photocopier. Like I wish there was a scene of Q's teaching.

I'm surprised. James had to use a briefcase photo copy. Briefcase photocopier. It's an ordinary briefcase. The old combo. Look here. Safe Cracker and photomemia. Tona cartridge replacement here.

Now take off your shoe, 007. Inside, you'll have three toner cartridges. Extra oversized buttons for large hands. That's a personal added option for me. The other shoe is a phone. Something we learned from the Americans. Although technically, it's 1968 and we've beaten them to it. Yeah, so the story of this film is, I mean, you forget about the subplot.

I mean, I don't know, it feels like Blofeld's the subplot to me. And it feels like a plot. Secondary to the love story. Yeah, secondary to the count, like trying to sell his daughter to James Bond. It is interesting that it does, it's less an A and a B and more of just a B in a B in a or something, but the allergy thing didn't seem as goofy to me this time as it has, I don't know if it's in the past, or as I always remember it, because when you explain, like, this is hypnotizing people with allergies to release diseases, it's not as crazy as any other bond plot, you know.

No, it's crazy. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, I mean, you can't, can you hypnotize people not to sneeze? Is that, is that, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'm just saying compared to some of the other bond movies, you know. it's just something because it's less direct. It's just weird for a Bond movie to have a plot be hypnotism,

allergies, and spreading germ warfare as well. I mean, it's just the kind of thing you do to get exclusive broadcast rights in China for 100 years. That also his ask for, you know, the cure or for not doing it is not money.

He just wants a stupid title. That's what I have in a note. It's just like he, Blofeld really does want to retire and settle down and just not be bothered with this. I guess so, yeah. This is really, he's probably got all the money he needs. He's got that frigging chateau.

He bought that with something. He just wants to live up in, in this little revolving. Just leave me alone. Yeah, I'll stop doing. You know what he should do is just go like, hey, I'll stop doing these things if you'll just give me.

Right. Give me a reset. Yeah. That's pretty good. I did not think of that. I did not, I did not think of that. It's so interesting also to me,

how horrible the specter twist of them being siblings is when you look back at this movie particularly. It's crazy. Meaning just in contrast? Yeah, just like the whole retconning of it, like to make them adopted brothers. But then you have this movie that exists where they're... But this doesn't exist in that timeline. I know. I know.

Well, yeah, but this... Yeah. I know. I know what you're saying. my brain doesn't accept it. I know it doesn't well. My brain refuses to accept it. I know.

Oh. My brain hurts. I don't know. I just like, we're ignoring everything. Is that what we're saying? Daniel Craig's character is that nothing? Oh, we're going over this again? I just, you know, every time I think about it, it just really bothers me a little bit.

I just, really, I have no issue with it. It was so clearly a reset with the one thing of bringing Judy Dench along. That's all, that's all you have to. buy. And it's not even necessarily the Judy Dench of the Brosnan years. It's just she's now M. You're saying it's a different M. Well, no, it's not, it's the same M, but it's as if that

that time, that parallel universe didn't happen. I don't, I don't, I don't care for it. I don't like it. I don't want it. I don't know what to tell you. I don't have any control over it. We changed this? What are they going to do with the next one? Are they going to make it on our Matchy's Secret Service?

I mean, that's the rumor, right? That's the rumor. What would you, would you be up for that, Maurice? Well, they seem to be going there, but without the Blofeld character, or are they simply going to recast Blowfeld? I wonder. Or maybe they were going there. Yeah, it could be bullshit. Maybe when they were going there, they thought he was on board, and now he's not on board. What are they going to do?

Maybe he gets plastic surgery. Who plays Blowfeld? Hmm. I don't know. It feels as though this bond is in for another tragedy, though. I mean, Daniel Craig's Bond. You know, something's going to, you know, push him over the edge. So what?

So he goes rogue? He's going to have to rogue again. The last bonds have all gone rogue. This is my problem. We need more rogue, Daniel Craig. I think I might be up for a reboot of this with Daniel Craig. And it ends with his wife getting killed. And then that locks him in to be forever doomed for this role of just like,

fuck it. I'm going to go. I had assumed it would start with a wedding. Yeah, maybe. I'd assume it'd start with a wedding. But then maybe they go more towards the book where he's just really going to kill him and does. That'd be interesting too. But then imagine, too, if they brought David Arnold back and then they kind of work this theme into that theme.

This is one of my favorite bond themes. Oh, that'd be good. I'm just saying, I'm just making a case. I don't know if I'm on board for 100%. You're talking about the musical themes from Modern Majesty's? Yeah. Brilliant score. Oh, I love it.

I love it so much. I'm going to start just humming here like I have a condition. It just goes through. It just, it goes through you. Especially when you get to those like cascading shots of the ski. There's that one shot where all of the guys pursuing Bond in the nighttime are skiing, like spaced out in a big line on the crest of this snowy mountain with that music playing.

And they're just gliding and the camera's gliding. You know that that guy's shooting. It almost looks like a double helix. Yes, it's amazing. It's so beautiful. Oh, so good. You know, it's not beautiful? What?

Staring down the camera after saying this never happened to the other film. No, you're right. I watched this with Amanda last night. And I was like, oh, this will be interesting. I'm newly married. It would be fun to watch. She's never seen this one. And that happened.

She goes, wait, why did he do that? I started watching it with my wife, Robin, and she got up and left at that point. Really? I got other things to do. She's not wrong. But I found myself a little hard press to fully explain it because I was kind of like, well, really what this is is a meta thing of them saying like we're justifying why we're changing actors, even though it's still the same character, but he's kind of acknowledging you as the audience, no, this is not the case? But then I never caught this before. Is he kind of in story saying like this never happened to the other fellow, meaning the woman never ran away from him and I didn't get to bed her?

Like, if it were Connery, they would go make love right now. That's what he's saying, right? Isn't that what he said? I never put that together before. I always took it as a breaking the fourth wall. Yeah, I thought it was a conceit. I never thought of that even. Right, but I always thought that what he was saying was women never ran away from Sean Connery. I didn't catch that before, but now, now I see that. But I think it's still, that's the plausible deniability they're keeping, but what they're really doing is saying, look here. But what is the story isn't to say that?

There isn't. Exactly. So he has to be talking about Sean Connor. But I don't know that they even care about that. I think they're more concerned about acknowledging the fact that it's a new actor. Yeah. That's why he looks at the camera. Right. But it is both.

I think they want to have their cake and eat it too. But they can't. We won't allow it. Yeah. But they did it. And then we go into the opening credits, which is sort of like, it's the same guy. Look at all these past people that have been in the movies. Yeah.

Right. That takes place in the same universe. and the symbolism of having all those past bond moments going through an hourglass of a... Yeah, right. You know, it's like slipping away. And the clock. It's like, we acknowledge it, but this is the new bond. Yeah.

It's the symbolism of that, I feel. Yeah. But in a way, I like it does feel like Peter Hunt going like, let's handle this stylistically rather than literally, which I think is also similar to the Daniel Craig stuff. It's like, don't think too hard about it. Just go with us. Bond has a history of that, you know? Well, it's... It's so weird to be juxtaposed immediately against that line.

Do you know what I mean? And then to come back and go like, well, remember Pussy Galore everybody? I remember that time Goldfinger was there. Yeah. This stuff did happen to the other. Yeah. But this not happened to the other thing. In case you got popcorn during the opening credits,

we're going to do a scene at his desk where he picks up each item and they play the theme of that. Those are at odds with this film. They are strange. It's a reset and yet a continuity. but I remember being 11 and that bothered me. Really? In the theater. Good.

Looking at, and, and Lays and Beak, this never happened to the other fellow. I was like, why is he saying that? This was great until he knows we're here. Is that where we're, you know, 11-year-old, me know, does he know we're here? What's going on? Is he going to be doing that all through the picture?

Is he going to be commenting on everything you do? Shakespeare? I'm curious to get your perception of the entire trajectory of this film, because as you say, you saw in the theater, do you remember the critical reception at the time? And then when do you remember this film coming back in vogue? Because it seemed like it wasn't well received for so long. I remember that there was a big hubbub about it.

I wasn't paying as much attention to media as I do now, but I still did, as I said before, for show and tell all my things would be entertainment stories. And I remember that there was when he showed up with the beard. I remember seeing those pictures in the paper and showing up with the beard at the at the premiere and I remember it bothering me I'm going why is he looking like that he's James Bond he should be he should be you know showing up as James Bond to the premiere he couldn't shave just for this how much money are they paying him you

know and then there seemed to be just a bad feeling in the air and then excitement that Connery was back a couple of years later for for diamonds but you know It was, it was, it was, while it was going on, first of all, very Christmassy movie. I saw it in the cold, you know, I took the bus downtown during Christmas. Oh, that Toronto winter. All those Toronto winters, almost as bad as Massachusetts winters. Oh, you guys didn't live through the great, uh, woodier in Southern California winters in childhood.

You don't know how Christmas trees are grown. I don't. You have no idea. No, wouldn't a Santa come around? Exactly. But that, that, that, the thing in the air, was big, big, big, big push and then disappointment. And then all of a sudden, you know, that didn't, that didn't exist.

Swept clean. Yeah. And in that time, I started watching a lot of Connery bonds on TV because ABC would play them. And, you know, seeing Goldfinger again start to finish going, yeah, he was, he was better. I got, I got with the program of like, you know, yeah, Connery was the bond, because Connery is my bond. I'm not, I'm not a, I was never a war fan, except for live and let die. He made cigars look cool. Yeah.

Which, you know, they save his life twice. Yeah. So I became an avid cigar smoker. Well, also, real hairspray, really. Hairspray plus cigar. Yeah. Hairsplay without cigar just gives you a well-coffed snake. So, you know, maybe frozen in place.

He's quaffing that with hairspray. He's got better lock it down. Yeah. It's perfect. And, you know, But the two elegant bonds are my least favorite. I'm not a Moore fan. I was never a Brazenan fan.

Yeah. I hate to say it. I mean, I hate... What am I doing? I hate to say it. He's managed to defend us both. Well, yeah.

It's crazy. It's just good. And I've also managed to support you both. So come on, that's true. Fair enough. I was a, you know, I loved Remington Steel. So for me... Yeah, I did too.

Brosnan always seemed a little light for Bond. When he says in... God, I forget which picture. but he says, I gave him the limp, you know, he goes, how? Yeah. How did you give that big man a friggin' limp? Would you just stand behind a tree and stick your leg? I mean, he's, come on.

There's no way that he just looked like when he punched somebody as Remington Steel, he always had that moment where he looked like he'd go, ha, ha, and, you know, blow on his knuckles. And all of a sudden, he's bond. I just never bought it. That might be what has ruined him for you guys. Oh, I've always said, knowing him as Steel first. I always say it's like if McGiver played Indiana. Jones. It just doesn't work at that point.

What if Magnum P.I. plays Indiana Jones. That's a different story, but I still can't see it after Harrison Ford. We covered this on Indiana. Lee Perfect. Tune in for the next episode of Indiana Jones. Did you say Jamie Lee Perfect? Why did I hear that? I don't know, but I love it.

I do. Jamie Lee Perfect. Why does you say Jamie Lee Perfect? It was Freudian Slip. You are Jamie Lee Perfect. Because she's also in that movie called Perfect. Right. that is the new.

I want that to be like on fleek or P-H-A-T fat. Probably not happening. No, if anything, we're trendsetters on this podcast. Because I think all the kids are listening. We push trends back 70 years on this show. I want everyone listening at some point today to use the term Jamie Lee perfect. How's it look? Looks Jamie Lee perfect.

And use it. And when someone balks go, what? No, that's a phrase. You've never heard that. Don't ever say where it came from. We've got to get that into the lexicon. I think you're right. Yeah.

I think you're right. Hashtag Jamie Lee Perra. I know her hair person who does her hair. Oh. So I feel like I should text him and say, drop this on her. See what she says. And then let's hit up Dan and yogurt and see if they'll use that as their slogan. It's Jamie Lee Perfect.

So when do you remember this film coming back in Vogue? Because I think that's probably in the last 10 years that this film has been recognized as good, maybe 15, I don't know. Coming back in vogue is an interesting way of putting it. I mean, I just, it's... Or being recognized. I think, you know, as we've built up to 25 films, just in looking back through the different eras,

the Brosnan era, now that there were so many more to compare it to, I think people just, it began to come up in estimation against some of the lesser Brazman pictures. I think you're right. I think it's because it was always Laysenby against Connery and it never worked that way, but you're right. We get to Dalton and Brosnan.

And the lesser Dalton picture. Because I loved the first one, Living Daylights, and really was not a fan of the second one. Maurice, when we're covering a movie on the show, do you try to watch it before we get back to it? I've not done that with the exception of

when I re-listened to Spector, your Spector podcast, I watched it again to really get into it. Because when it first came out, I have a good friend named Carmie, and he's a huge bonfile. And we sat down the day after seeing, did I say Spector?

I meant Skyfall. But also the day after Spector. We both had a problem with Skyfall, and he brought up the point that Skyfall, wasn't a James Bond movie. It's the only movie in which Bond absolutely fails at every single objective that he has.

He basically buys Judy Dench 23 more seconds of life. That's his big success. That's his big win at the end of the picture. And for Specter, we sat down at Sugarfish and said, okay, finally they gave us a James Bond picture.

It took them three pictures to give us a Bond picture where he gets the mission, goes and does the mission. Yeah, there's some weird family shit in there, you know. Very weird. And I was not a fan of the retcon of Blofeld being the son of the man who took care of him. The architect of all his pain?

Yeah. So dumb. It's so dumb. And the acceptance of the Blofeld name. Like he doesn't, if I were James Bond, I'd keep taunting him that his name was really, Oh, yeah, Oberhausers. I'd never call him Blofeld. That'd give him too much satisfaction.

Even when he's behind that thick pane of glass, I go Oberhouser, and just piss him off. Not, okay, Blufeld. That's interesting. I am curious to revisit that film. I suppose we have to, right? We did at some point. Yeah, we will.

Oh, boy. Loved it the first time. Let's talk a bit about Tracy because, you know, she's regarded as one of the stronger, if not the strongest bond woman there is. Maybe you'd put Vesper in there, at least in terms of character depth. I found an interesting moment that I didn't notice before with Tracy where they're in his hotel in that outdoor full-sized bed, which I love, by the way.

And he goes to kiss her and she turns her head. And then seconds later kisses him. And it's just I love the idea that it's like, we'll kiss, but it'll be on my terms. Right. You know, completely. Beautiful moment. Yeah. She is, you know, she's just.

wonderful. Anna Rigg is just so graceful. One reason I think they work well together is you can both see that they both have chips on their shoulder and they both have real insecurity and vulnerability that is manifest as like bravado and

kind of aloofness. And I feel like that comes through. And suicidal tendencies. Yeah, no kidding. Which could be said of bond as well. I mean, you know, in his job, you're basically taking a 50-50 shot, you're going to get killed on this. Right, right.

So they're cut from the same cloth. But Diana Rigg as an actress spent, just spent three or four years as the first, you know, spy feminist. Yeah, right. Emma Peel, even though her name means male appeal, M appeal. Yeah. She doesn't need anybody, you know. She's talented at a show, Emma Peel.

And she's phenomenal. She can fight. She can, you know, when she splits off from Steed, she can take care of herself on her end of the mission. So to have her come in as, you know, some weak, you know, Bond thing. This really is the Bond girl who is different than all the other Bond girls, even though, as you said in

the previous podcast, they all say that. She's the one. Yeah. She's the one who's his equal and saves his skin. Yeah. Yeah, it's really, I don't know, it's just, she's so, you just feel something for her.

She's really defensive. You don't feel for the other James Bond. In a way that gives her character a different dimension. Like, you could just tell she's being defensive for a reason and I love it. Yeah. And it is like, it's also a, I mean, the moment I love is when she takes the asses of Martin and drives it up to her car and just gets in her car. Yeah, like, she didn't steal the car though, which was my first thought. I just want to get there first. She's obviously like devil make hair doesn't play by any rules. Why doesn't she just keep driving that car? Because she says later on in the picture,

one thing I am is honest. That's right. And so she would never steal his car. Yes, she bets with money she doesn't have, but she pays it off. That's another moment that bothered me. It's like he finds the 20,000 francs in the drawer, but he doesn't notice that that's where he left his gun. That never bothers him, that his gun is gone.

That's the same drawer he threw the gun. Oh, I never noticed that. I didn't even think about that. Never put that together. That never bothers him until he gets down to the lobby and there's the guy. Wow. That's crazy. Does nothing go wrong?

No, I was just... Our merch person's picking up the posters at 11. That's very exciting. There'll be more posters in the store for you guys coming soon. Yeah, you guys seem to enjoy them, so guess what? You're getting more. The moment in the casino, I really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed her.

Like, what is she doing? Have we decided, like, what's her... Until she meets Bond, is she just going, fuck it with life? Seems like it. I think she's on the tail end of whatever self-destructive mission she's on. It's really interesting. Yeah. It's a good color.

Because Bond comes in and saves her from that. But I think she's really spiraling at that point. Yeah, and you hear as much from her father who phrases it as scandals and things like that. But yeah, she just seems to be going on these self-destructive best. vendors. And her father's bodyguards are in the hotel to initially to secure Bond and bring him in because her father has already chosen him as her partner. Well, they're the guys on the beach. Yes. And so I think that's the first time they see Bond and probably report back to Draco and Draco says, well, watch this guy. So are they there at the beach to initially to protect Tracy and prevent her from killing him?

herself. And I never noticed how much those guys are in the movie the entire time. They're at the wedding. They're at the end. They're all there at the wedding. They're there in the fight at the end. I love it. Like they became these lovable three guys that, you know, interesting. I really. There's a lot of this movie that's just like, oh, this is. I love the moment when they get Bond in the car. You know, they escort him out. And the, the gentleman of African-American descent puts the knife in his, right in his ribs. And he goes, thank you. It's like, just a great little tossed up.

I know. And you know what I love about this, too? I never noticed. They pick him up in the lobby. He's got golf club. So it's presumably early in the day he's going to play a full round of golf. They arrive at Draco's at night.

So they rode in that awkward car ride together all day long. They must have become friends at some point in there. And then he's got to beat the crap out of them. I guess that's why they're at the wedding. Well, we had a lovely conversation. All right, we'll have those guys. And I love the, you know, the, that's the really stylized fight with the three of them outside the door. Yeah.

And then just the way, the way Lazy's B enters with that throwing knife. Oh, but he's just that crouch. You don't like the crowd? No, I love it. Oh, okay. I love it. It looks great because they zoom in on him too. Actually, the most surprised I was of anything you never said.

Oh, no, I love it. You didn't like the crouch. I love it. I love it. That's what I'm saying. He's got that, like, wide bait center of gravity. Yeah. He just, oh, I don't.

And I believe that he can throw a knife. I love the way this film looks, too, like the purple wallpaper in the casino. And I never know as this before, too, but Laysenby's got almost olive green eyes. I don't know if it's the just technicolor look of this film, but I don't know, just the color in this film, his orange shirt when he's going golfing. The descent down the stairs in that tuxedo. Yeah, yeah. It's so classic. And, you know, the idea of, I mean, like you said, the tailoring, I thought that was.

actually too strange a note to come in here with. But that was something I loved all through that. I thought I want his suit. Yeah, I know, I agree. I want his suits. I want those golf clothes. I want to lose 100 pounds. I know. So I can have, you guys like the play suits.

I want the golf clothes from OHMSSS. Oh, I do too. Those are incredible. Unbelievable. Those turtlenecks with those beauty. It's like, I want to bring that back. Yeah. But he had the silhouette for that. I know. He really does. He's just that long torso and it's like the way

he's got those broad shoulders, but his waist is so thin and they cut all his suits that way. And yet the suits are cut long. So it's almost like he's wearing skirts, you know? Yeah. And then the kilt, too, don't even get me started. Oh, my God. But you see, he wears these clothes and yet he's, he's not what they used to call a fop.

Yeah, he's no dandy. He's no dandy. He's no dandy. Whereas, you know, with peers. By sending over prostitutes. Yeah. But he's just so, yeah, what did Manuel mean? Manuel?

I love that there's a hotel you named Manuel that isn't in Faulty Towers. but when he first walks into that hotel and he's, don't worry, Mr. Bond, we can take care of your needs. It's like your special needs. Special needs, it does say special needs. When I have special needs, when I check into a hotel, it's low sodium, low fat meals. Those are my special needs?

What are Bond special needs? Are they in the... I know. Minor HGTV. Exactly. HG TV? Home and Gardens? Yeah, is that what you want?

No, he said HD TV. No, HG. Yeah. Oh, you must have HG TV. The network, not the... picture. Oh, okay. All right.

That's right. You'll walk out, Matt, will you walk out of a hotel that doesn't have HGD? I won't even walk in one if they went on ahead. I call ahead. I've been disappointed by that before.

Recently, there was a hotel I was in a New York that didn't have HG TV. I was like, this is madness. The gall. This is madness. The nerve. I almost moved hotels.

But the Baccarat scene, this is the closest I've come to understanding Baccarat. Swibi. Banca. Al-anuf. But I have to report. Still don't understand it.

Okay. Okay. First of all, Oh, here we go. First of all, the game is Shemendifere. In this, they're not playing Bacara. They're not playing Baccarat.

The difference between Baccarat and Shemendifera, is the same rules for the card play. But in Baccarat, the casino banks the game. In Shemenda Faire, the players play with their own money and are banks again. against each other. That's how people get so wiped out. That's how why Tracy walks up and says Bonco. She wants to supply the bank for this. She loses it. Which is all the more dramatic that she loses it all and doesn't have money that she comes in right away and goes, I'll handle the bank and has no money. So she screws everybody at the table by doing that because you win off of her

as well. You're supplying the bank. But the rules of this, and I know this because when I was in fifth grade, 10 years old, I actually read Casino Royale the book. Yeah. That's another of my history with bond. I read the book and I don't know how, but I got the rules of, you know, because he takes two pages to explain it. Two pages to lay it out. Yeah.

And I started playing it at home to see if it worked. The idea is to get close to nine. Ten counts for nothing. You drop the ten column. It doesn't exist. So if you draw, if you have, you know, a two and a three, that's five. You're hoping to hit a four, obviously. But if you go over, let's say you draw a seven.

Well, you've got 12. Now you've got two. Okay. But you're always trying to hit nine. You draw it until you hit nine or eight. And that's if you hit it on the first two, a five and a four, six and three, that's a natural. It beats everything else at the table. So it's only the last column, the singles column of the numbers accumulated.

Unlike blackjack where it's 21 or whatever, so you're 16, you go through the teens. Aces are worth one. Aces are worth one, and face cards are worth zero. Tens and face cards are worth zero. And if you drive yourself over nine, then we take the last number. And so it's a 12 is two. So if I pull a nine, I want to draw. If you pull a nine, you'd stand because you've won.

But I thought you had to take two cards, no? Yes, and those two cards together. Oh, what I'm saying is I draw a nine. Let's say I draw a nine. Oh, no. I guess that doesn't make sense. everything. In the interest of getting Maurice back here as much as we can, we should also do an episode where we play Shemendifer and Baccarat and just have someone call it. Mark McCombell,

who's good at that kind of stuff, he can call it while we play. Spieffi, Banco. Alainte de Banque. Which means the bank wins. So, yeah, so that's, do you get it now? Because I'm not leaving here until you understand. Like, almost. I walked by the other day. Well, I'm going to pee while you guys do. Take a Walter PPC. I will. Mad end. Mad and!

Mad and! If you're looking to take your podcast listening to the next level, check out Stitcher Premium. They have a great holiday deal going for a limited time that you will not want to miss. Get 30% off Stitcher Premium when you go to Stitcher.com slash premium and use promo code jingle. Stitcher Premium gives you access to hundreds of exclusive shows, bonus episodes, and comedy albums. You can listen to the latest season of Wild Horses with Lauren Lapkis, Stephanie Allen, Aaron Whitehead, and Mary Holland.

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Oh, that's right. She was such a good host. Better than Matt Goreley. So listen to our podcast. I'm getting that. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.

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I walked by the Bacrat tables at the win the other day and I thought about just sliding in and figuring out

if they would teach me which of course they would but it was $100 a hand. Yeah, I was going to say you wanted to figure it out with your own money.

There's mini Baccaraw that you can play for five dollars a hand than have a still somewhat expensive lesson. I just don't, so who, okay, so let's say it's me and a dealer at a table. Who am I playing against? You're playing the house in Baccarat. Yeah, okay.

You don't start a game of Shemendifere unless you have enough players that one of them can bank the game. Okay. And like poker, they take a commission. They'll take some vigorous off the thing. The rake, yes. So that's the main difference between Shemi is the, they call it in colloquial terms and baccarat.

So it's like playing, essentially it's like playing Holdham at a casino against nine players. Right. Or going to one of the table versions of Holden. Right. And you're playing against the house. Which, you know, obviously people go, oh, against the house, I can take the whole casino home. I mean, we all have that weird mental twist towards gambling. I have never in my life gone to Vegas expecting to come home with more money than I left with.

No, that's true. I never I never you know I don't touch I don't touch the tables no no my father had a gambling problem and I watched him lose in like two thousand dollars waiting for his free drink at once and I just went you know what this is not for me and then I felt the little the next you know while I was playing blackjack alongside him I felt that little tingle in the back of my brain going yeah the pleasure center going too much this is too much fun I'm not going to do this and I actually won $1,600 at that same game where I watched my father lose the 2000. And, and I went, I'm stopping here. I'm never doing this again. I'm going to be the one guy who walks out of Vegas

ahead. Wow. And, you know, it was, it was, it was the beginning of me just going. So even when I used to perform in Vegas, when I was a stand-up comedian, I would not touch the table. So I never went, you know, the most I would do was throw a quarter or a buck into a slot machine. Slot machine. Well, way do we play Bacharout on this, on this podcast? Yes. Well, the, Well, this might change. I've recently seen the new licensed to James Bond slot machines, Casino Royale specific, Daniel Craig specific.

View to a kill, even. What? And they are, they're not out yet. They're not in the, so if it goes by the math of when I saw the, when I first saw the Simpsons machines at the trade show, I think we will be seeing the James Bond slot machines in casinos probably in the fall.

Wait, you go to slot machine trade show? No, I'll just see, like, YouTube videos of them. You know, YouTube recommends things for me. I don't know how it knows in the algorithm. It's magic. It really is genuinely magic. All of my YouTube recommendations. That might, that might draw me in.

I mean, I might actually throw. I think we'll have to do a special report. I think we'll have to do a live podcast from Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Roving. We'll stay in Fremont Street, like Diamonds are Forever. Visit the alley. No, we could, why don't we just stay in Walter White's Hotel?

What is that? It's the Las Vegas Hotel. It used to be the Hilton. I didn't realize that was still there. Oh, 100%. We can take that elevator? Fully intact. Is that?

Yes, we can take that elevator. Oh, and then bust out the top of it? Well, I don't know if we should do that, but we could do that. Is the Hilton still there? Yeah. It shows how often I go to Vegas now. It's still there. It hasn't been called the Hill.

It lost its Hilton branding about nine years ago. Okay. That used to be where they had the Star Trek experience. Oh, right. Which is why I was so familiar with that hotel. Well, let's talk about. Telly Savala says our Blofeld. What are your thoughts, guys?

He's fine. Yeah. I got, I'll tell you something about, that I noticed last night that I never noticed before, because I used to make Kojack jokes, you know, about his cigarettes and, oh, who loves you, who loves you, Bondi or whatever, you know.

I saw a psychopathy in his eyes. Oh. On last night's viewing. And I thought, you know, he's really playing this. guy as a pure sociopath. He's not mad. He's not insane. He just wants what he wants and doesn't give a shit.

Who he steps on to get it, which is what psychopaths are. You know, and weirdly what he wants. It's just to be left alone, just like the Hulk. He just wants to go away. But in pure sociopathic behavior, it's like he's not accounting for all the horrible things he's done and he feels entitled to just be left alone. Just long as I don't hurt any. baby.

Yeah. Who loves you? Bloffy, hey. I've got a gloft about Bloffey. Oh, great. Let's look out for this. I don't know how we ever missed this before. I don't think we talked about this.

Did you guys notice he has a strange finger? He has a like half finger. It looks like he has two thumbs, but his left hand pointer finger is like almost half size and it's a little like wrinkled and shriveled. I've never noticed this before. Let me see if I can find a picture of... Is this a character trademark of Blofeld? Well, no, it's a... No, that was a character trademark of Hannibal Lecter,

which he had an extra... He had an extra digit. I'm Googling Telly Savalas'allus hands, baby. Telly Savalus Finger. That's why I held a lollipop, so I could close it around something. Oh, that makes sense, Tully. Let's see if there's a good...

Oh, here's a decent picture of it. Okay. Sorry, I had to step out. Did you just say something about Tully? Were you watching Tate? Kelly? No, he just swung in and was telling us about you, Maurice, you should have been here. Oh, shit. It was truly amazing. Damn it. What happened? Apparently, Tully Savala visited while I was out having a little

little bit. Checking out your backyard. Okay, these are, it's hard, I've got three versions here, but see this little guy here. That's an adorable digit. And then, look, it doesn't fully wrap around the gun there. Oh, he does have like a little. And this is how I first saw in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. It's like... Which is an odd choice because if he's... He must add some confidence about that, about that. Is it able us to say deformity now?

I don't know. Digital difference. Yes. Let's call it that. He must have been very confident about that digital difference in 1969 to drape his arm on that banister like that and hang it there. Gary Berghoff spent his entire career trying to hide his left hand and they're trying to shoot around it on MASH

because he had an oddly formed left hand. Yeah. And so I'd never notice that. James Dewin, Scotty on Star Trek. Yes. What does he have? He's missing a finger. He has death.

Apparently, it's not existing anymore. It's unbelievable. He's missing a finger on his right hand, I believe. Oh. From World War II. No kidding. Wow. Canadian.

He didn't get it caught in the Dyson sphere? No. Oh, my God. Dyson sphere, guys. That's from the episode. Relics, Season 5. James Dewin would not... I don't know if I'm telling too many tears out of school.

James Dewan and William Shatner had such a falling out on Star Trek generations. I can't imagine anyone not getting along with Shat. I know. I don't understand. But that when we did the Star Trek episode where no fan has gone before on Futurama, DeWan would not do the episode. You know, DeWin did all the cloud creatures and all the... All the voiceovers for the classic series and the animated series.

Essentially, it invented what the Klingon language sounds like. He had to just make up Klingon. I didn't know that. But Dune said, I will not be... He didn't do it with a Scottish accent. He was the Canadian accent. I will not be in anything with that man ever again. So when we tried to book him on Futurama,

he was living in Vancouver, BC, where he was his old hometown. He wouldn't even do it remotely. Like they said, we'll fly up and give you your lines. He was supposed to play the cloud creature, Melvar. And he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't play Scotty. And that's why they created the character of Welshie. Did you ever see the episode as a starter?

Because Scotty would not be in it. And that's actually one line of Gaelic that Dave Herman says as Welchie before he's destroyed. But he wouldn't even do it remotely. He wouldn't have his name associated with William Shatner. So I got to play Melvar in the episodes. Oh my God. But, you know, Jimmy Dewan's disdain for Shatner was my, And somehow when I hear that story, I don't think of James Duhin is unreasonable.

It just goes on to the legend of what a prick that probably Shatner really was like. Well, he's not the easiest guy to get along with, apparently. When he dies, we'll finally find out. If he murdered his wife. No, I don't know, no, no, that did. Just kidding. That didn't happen. No.

I hate to say it. When you hear that 911 tape, which was not on my show, Rescue 9-1-1, when you hear that 911 tape, I mean, it's heartfelt. He's God bless him. He's just not that good an actor. I mean, he's frigging

he's hysterical with grief and with, he doesn't know what the fuck to do. I run to his defense whenever, I mean. He just panicked. No, no, no, I mean. I know nothing about that. I only know that as a reference. I didn't even know there's a 9-11 call. No, we don't reference that here, man. What we do reference

is the murderer John Lasseter. Nope, wait. Uh-oh. What's what I forgot, Landis, John Landis, John Landis. Okay, yes, please, not John Lasseter. Lasseter hasn't killed anyone. No, no. Is Robert Blake safe? God, there's so many murderers.

Yeah, no, I think we can, I think we can come down on Robert Plains. Let's just go back to OJ, guys. Yeah. A clear murderer. Yes. Wait, nope, not guilty. No, I'm just. And we're back.

Let's get back to Tully Savalas. Telly. I don't think he's a great Blowfield. No? I think he's a good Telly Savalus. I like him as a change. I like him in this movie. a lot. Is it changed from Pleasance?

Yeah, or as a different type of Blofeld, because really, Blowfelt usually is pretty elegant, and this guy's... I like what he does with him. I like him. I like him. We always say that, though, right? We always say Blofeld is usually this, Blofeld is usually that, but we really only see him twice. Well, but you've got Charles Gray,

and you've got Pleasance, or the on-camera ones, the other ones where you don't see his face, he's kind of in the background. Those two are pretty effete, you know, elegant, Blowfield. Charles Gray is such an oddity for me. Yeah. Of Blofeld. But don't you think he's closer to the Pleasence model than the Tully Savalas model?

Hmm. I feel like he's his own spin. It does seem like Christoph Waltz is the closest to Donald Pleasance. Yes. That those two are of a kind. Yeah. I wish his hair got burned off at the end of Factor. Something to make him bald.

At the end of Spector, like his hair gets burned off or something like that. Welcome, James. Yeah. Oh, yeah, pain. Do you have your... your delicious milk. What about Max von Seidau? I know it's outside of the canon, but what do you...

I like him. I liked his... I mean, he seemed very in control, and I liked his willingness not to wear a neighbor jacket. Yeah, yeah. But an eyepatch, doesn't he wear an eyepad? No, no, he just has just a big bowtie. Oh, right.

Bowtimes. The true mark of a villain, a bowtie. A bow tie. A bow tie. Big friggin... Well, Tucker Carlson. Yeah. Um, so in this... Another super villain.

A couple things I really enjoy about this film is, uh, number one for me is the, uh, visit to M's house. Yes. You know how much I like a visit to M's house. Yes. And it has a name. Did you see the plaque? What was it?

Like something deck. A quarter deck. Quarter deck. Isn't that what it was? Something like that. Yeah. What do you think that means? He's an admiral.

That's true. I feel like he just decided to name. That's great. His estate. And he's got a room. full of butterflies. I also love is the Admiral in, and I love that butler.

Yeah. Because that Butler, I feel like, was also in the Navy. Yeah. He's probably like a captain in the Navy. It was like, oh, God, I got to answer to Admiral again.

I love it when Em and Draco at the wedding are walking together and just reminiscing about the men they've lost that the other ones have killed. Yeah. But it's like, we're off the clock so we can just have this gentleman's conversation.

And Em sort of congratulates him on the partial success of his crime. Yes, yes. As though I'm not personally invested in this at all. I really don't. care whether you got away with most of the money or not. I'm on vacation. Yeah. It was great. It was really great. And Bernard Lee, that man scares the shit out of me. You look at those ice blue eyes. And when he dismisses

you, you stay dismissed. I mean, I don't care which bond you are. Yeah. In this one especially, where Bond comes in and he won't even look up from his paper. Yeah. I mean, between that and the way treats a lie. Yeah. But he seems to have such a soft spot for for Moneypenny. And that that humanizes the Bernard Lee M. You know,

twice he says, what would I do without you? And what would you do without me? Yeah. He sees her hurt. And that made him, you know, that's the functional father,

but only towards Lois Maxwell. I had breakfast with Lois Maxwell. What? Yes. I was, I was doing, it was when Alan Fick tested to take over the old

Alan Hamill show in in Canada. We had an afternoon talk show that Suzanne Somersen husband Alan Hamill had. It was basically the Sunnice show at three in the afternoon. I thought you're going to say Alan Thick tested a dude James Bond. No, but he was, he was the first guest host and he ended up like getting the show. He actually shaved off half his beard for the second episode so that he could test with the audience, which do you like bitter this or that? But I was on the very first episode and Lois Maxwell was on the episode with me.

And I did stand up in a little panel. And it was the show that all the community. medians in the late 70s and early 80s did to prepare for their tonight show spot. You'd run up to Vancouver and do your five minutes in Canada where nobody was going to see it because they held the show sometimes for months. And then, you know, so Lois did the show and it was a very lovely little interview. But the next morning, we all stayed in the same hotel. I came down and she was already having breakfast by herself. So actually got to sit down and have a little breakfast with Lois Maxwell. And she took.

told me that Laysenby was a very nice, he was a very nice boy, she said. But he just was a little in over his head. And the whole thing with Diana Rigg, this is something that's coming back to me now, that they feuded. Apparently, there was something to do with garlic. Yeah. And that, that was a real story. That wasn't manufactured. She told him to, you know, have garlic today for lunch, George, because I am, because it was their first, the first filmed kiss. And George didn't register with him, so he was pissed off that she had bad breath and blah, blah, blah. But she said, it was a very nice, he was a very nice young man, very nice boy.

But he was a little in over his head. And he got off in the hippie thing and didn't want to do, didn't want to do, you know, movies for money, you know, et cetera, et cetera. In the meantime, Lasonby, it turns out, and again, this is, you know, internet, you know, you know, statistics. But I read an article that said Lazy-Bee is actually like the most independently wealthy of any of the bond actors because of his real estate investments. Oh, wow.

Apparently he's like worth $10 million more than Roger Moore. No kidding. Yeah. Apparently he invested in real estate very young, used some of his bond money. I didn't know that. I could buy that. Yeah. And he actually ended up doing extremely well.

So don't feel too bad for George Laysenby. And if you're thinking he's like, you know. Maybe he's the smartest of the bond. So you were having breakfast with Lois Maxwell, what, like 19, like 40, guys only? This would have been 1978 or nine. Oh, so Mooraker Money, Patty. Yeah. And she actually did, she actually wrote a little article on me because she had a syndicated column in the Canadian papers, the Sun Syndicate.

And so like the next week that came out this little thing about, I had the pleasure of sitting out with a marvelous young community. Do you have coffee? Yes, and I should have brought it. If you guys have me back for Casino Rail 67, I'll bring the article. What was the article called? What was the article called? Her byline was Moneypenny. That's all. And said, I remember the...

I would have called it Maxwell's house. Yeah. I'm just saying. I like it. Yeah. So, so that was, it was very nice. Yeah. And then I fucked him.

No, I'm kidding. I did. That's, wow. I'm sorry. I'm trying to even wrap my head around. having breakfast with money, Penny. I know. Breakfast with money, Penny.

She was quite a lady. She's really lovely. Nice time. Let's talk about the actual sort of plan. Okay. Which is for, I guess, who gets wind of Blofeld trying to prove his ancestry? It's Tracy's father, right? he just

he just knows that the lawyers he's been working with the lawyer about this. Some lawyer in Geneva. Gumbolt. And so the plan is for Bond to

first go check out what the info the lawyer knows. And then he takes it upon himself to work with Hillary Bray to impersonate him. Yes. So that he can go over.

Yeah, that's how he gets operations. I like the coloring. Yeah, that's right. I like the coloring of the Hillary Bray character of like, this is for national security, right? Right, right. For Her Majesty.

Like, he gets so like, oh, I know. I'm doing a good thing. I even love his suits, man. His tweety-looking suits and he's got a crest on his Navy blue tie and oh, God, I love the clothes in this thing. I liked, I did not like the immediate mimicking. You mean the ADR voice? Yeah, the craziness of that. Like, that's just a crazy...

It stood out to me, too. Here's something I've never noticed before. So he's obviously, whenever he's Hillary Bray, it's George Baker doing the voice. Sure. In the end, when they do the assault on Pizagloria, and Bond, like, has this one, he just tangles with this one guard and knocks a gun out. And George Baker's voice comes back in as if Bond is doing the joke. And he goes, I don't like guns.

It's like he's referencing his own... I totally missed that. That's another gloft. I guess it is, yeah. That's a gohoft, a goarly's hear out for this. A jaw. Listen out for this. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's better. Yeah. I'm just, yeah, I missed that completely. That threw me, and I'm a guy that's good at just grabbing somebody's voice and doing it right there and then. But, you know.

There is a guy, the ADR, there's an ADR on the beach at the very beginning. There's ADR. Oh, everywhere. Yeah. But there is one at the very beginning that is clearly the Dr. No guy. I know. I know exactly what you're talking. talking about it's the same guy same guy I thought that same thing yeah get in the boat get in the boat

mr. but mr. bond yeah no that's it truly yeah it's all right let's go yeah it's like they just have this guy sitting around why does she faint speaking of going back to the beach amanda she says no once in a very soft way no and then the next thing you know he picks her up and she's like a rag doll are we just to think that she's maybe been drinking she's mentally breaking down and exhausted and she did he cold Cocker what we weren't looking. There's a precedent for that. There's a lot of woman beating in this picture. And, you know.

When that happened when Draco punches her in the face, Amanda, it was kind of like jokingly going like, well, they had to get her in the helicopter. I'm like, well, they've got three to four guys there. They could just pick her up and put her in. I understand the dire situation. But he's also a, you know, crime syndicate lord. You know what I mean? I suppose.

And it's 1968. So you want to. We didn't know we weren't supposed to beat running in 1960s. Right. But I also get that. We thought it was good for you. I could see him doing that to his son, too. Just like cold cocking and just get, like, ultimately did it for her safety.

Yeah. But again, there were other guys there. Could have just grabbed some feet? Sure. Yeah. Sure. Another moment that's, you know, speaking of, you know, the woman beating and all, the very demeaning, the demeaning of women moment for me, in the midst of all that

fabulous rescue in the ski village, he turns through and goes, good girl. Yeah. It's like, what? You should be kissing her feet while she's trying to drive. And you give her a good girl and a peck on the cheek? Yeah. Please. Yeah.

That whole derby sequence, the stunts when the cars are driving through the crowds of people, feels very real. Like there were a stunt people initially there, but there are also extras. And at some point, the extras go, like, we better clear out of here. It feels like, we got one take, and let's not tell anybody what we're doing and see how quick they're clear. The director of the derby scene,

gets his own credit. Really? Yeah, in the beginning. Wow. I didn't notice that. I mean, it's just so hard to like sort of encompass everything in this movie because it's... I love, I love Bond's...

Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I just, I love Bond's willingness. Go in that crowd of... Go in the derby, the people will throw them. Oh, you mean the psychopaths who are chasing you? They're going to be concerned about the people? I don't think so. Well, I don't care about them. I'm also a psychopath, but I'm a good one. care about your life, Tracy, but their lives mean nothing.

You know, that, that, that, that, that, that threw me a little bit, seemed a little, much of her. So he gets, he gets rescued by Tracy, essentially, out of the situation he's in. And then he reports back to M. Yeah. And then M is like, oh, they're just going to give him what he wants. Yeah. And they've still got, what, like 48 hours or something?

So he goes to Draco. It is, it is amazing that the day is saved by just a group of criminals. It's not MI6. It's Bond working with... Bond working with his new dad. His new dad is pretty cool. Yeah. It's very Fleming.

Because these movies got so formulaic, you don't, you know, it's worth going back to those books to see how different, a lot of them are from each other. Like, you only live twice, especially, or a spy who love me. They really, you know, Fleming only followed a formula a few times.

And I love... I wish Fleming were here to actually talk about that. I got a, I got a piece. again. I got to go pee. I got to go pee. So there's a formula that he followed, Matt. Yeah, I just don't know what he was really thinking.

Why don't you ask him? He's here, of course. It's Ian Fleming. You know, normally I come solo, but I've brought a friend along with me, someone who I demanded be in Casino Royal, the 1967

version, you see. I wanted him to play the Villain. Really? Who would that? know what? My bladder's acting. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Just, yeah, get in line. Does he have two bathrooms here? I'm going to go check. I'm going to use the second bathroom. Understood. All right. I'm just going to open the door and see if anyone's come to threshold. Greetings, my friend. Awesome, old boy. Yes, indeed. How'd you do? Well, old boy, I'm doing rather well. I've, I'm up in heaven where it doesn't matter what you

weigh. You can be 380 pounds one day and 162 the next. Did they have to give you a different size angel wing to fly around all of that mass. I'm sorry. What English word are you using? Moss. You know, you're covered in moss. Get me a jury and show me how you can say mass instead of mass and I'll go down on you.

Beef burgers, old boy. Beef burgers. Yes. Oh, right. Peas. Frozen peas. Frozen peas. I love your work. Gentlemen, thank you for swinging down. You're welcome. You know, I have to say... The rope broke when I swung down. Citizen-K. touch, we were all that's fine and well,

but I really love your work on frozen peas and the Transformers movies. That's when you were doing some of your best stuff. Oh, thank you, old boy. I take direction from one person under protest, but from two I don't sit still. I, when I was working on the

Transformers movie, Mr. Mr. Burr tried to direct me, and I said, faster, slower, louder, softer. That's the only direction I take. Well, it's smart choice. you know, listen to your inner voice. When I come back to discuss the Cassiner Royal

67 version, I'll tell you a little story about Mr. Sellers. I can't wait. I might have more disdain for him than I do for those directors of the frozen peas. Do you guys ever hang out together up there? I've been looking for you in heaven, but it seems we're

in a different... I'm in steerage. Well, I'm difficult to miss, old boy. I'm so you need to come over to... I'm honestly surprised. You're both in heaven. I am too. Pretty much anyone gets in. All you have to be white and male. Considerably since Hitler.

Oh, it must truly be heaven for you then, Mr. Fleming. You know, when we died, there won't all these restrictions and class differences and that sort of thing. You're just sort of grandfathered in, you know. Was there ever a lesbian up there? Oh, God, no. Heavens, no. I mean, yes, in a certain way. They're all over in my section, dear boy.

Yes. For me, it's just scrambled eggs and Greek. Yaghert. What do you think about what's going on down on Earth right now? You've seen the new Star Wars movie? I have, yes, I have. I like the part where Luke Skywalker just drinks from old Loch Nessie's fourth tit. And that really happens.

No! Yes, it does. Oh, God. You know I was supposed to be, Darth Vader. That's right, you're going to be. Yes, yes. Oh, what happened? I want the...

I don't know. Somehow or another, I think I wasn't available. I think I was doing some sort of wine commercial that week. Paul Mason. Paul Mason. Can I ask you about it? Fomented in the bottle and like the best champagne. Can I ask you about that?

The French. Now, I like a little bit of a tipple or an afternoon swizzle myself, but you seem completely blot-how. The director was so incompetence on this particular... picture that I was on this particular shoot that I was constantly you know doing retakes and the poor young couple in the scene were absolutely terrified that

they'd pour one more wine and it would be a wine well past its time but uh... not to bandy about with conflict old boy but I remember some early takes where you were looking I don't know three to four to five to ten sheets to the wind the French

champagne has long been celebrated you mean that one? That has a ring to it? For its excellence, This is California. Champagne inspired by that, like, and the finger was, I almost broke my finger on the bottle of wine. It's my favorite internet funny of all time, I have to say. You guys are up there just watching YouTube clips.

Star Wars Kid, one of my favorites. Here was my audition. Bring me the passengers. I want them alive. If this is a Counselorship, then where is the Ambassador? Would you have also played him?

James Earl Jones. Would you have played him in the suit? I would have loved to have seen that. Nineteenth 77. Yes, always. Always having a fillet menion off to the side, ready to take down. They billed the mask so that part of it lifts.

Sticks taken. Oh, man, nice bathroom. That's that second bathroom you have. You're not going to believe this, but Orson Wells was here. He came down, he swung down from heaven. No, Matt. What? Ian Fleming was also...

No way. No way. I don't even believe these things. I don't even believe these things. Guys, you have to understand that I am just sitting here. You both go to the bathroom. Ian Fleming slides in, then Orson Wells swings in. The reason I don't believe this is because you're always left behind, and

And all we have is your account of this, and it's never been corroborated. If you'd ever just listen to the podcast, you'd hear these minds. I understand. We already know what we said. Yeah. You know, I've got too much ADD for that. That's fair. Well, it was a treat, guys.

And the listeners, I think, enjoyed it. And thank you both for being. Of course. You're out of soap in the second bathroom. Just tell Amanda. I'll pick some up. What? Did you hear that?

What was that? What was that? I didn't hear that. I yawned and you know how. sometimes when you yawn your ears shut up for just a little bit. Hang on. Your ears shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. My ears shut up. Shut up your ears. Oh, boy. Guys, we're having fun here. All right. Well, let's close in on this here and get our final thoughts on Our Majesty Secret Service.

Anything else we need to cover specifically before we do our general closing thoughts? I just want to say that if I'm ever lucky enough, and again, I'm getting a little on for this type of thing for an on-camera career. But if I ever am lucky enough to be in a picture where I have to shoot up a bunch of mofos, I want to do it on my stomach sliding along. Being dragged by a cable. A big sheet of glass.

That scene when I was 11 and last night, I was like, oh, that's the coolest. Because the music's blazing. Oh, my God. He's able to keep his aim and be a bobsled, a human bobsled. This is the best James Bond Climax scene. It's good. This is the bad.

Like, no, really. It is in the sense of like, yeah. You're, not only is he, um, going to stop his arch enemy, but he's also going to rescue his lady love. His love.

His, and he's bringing along her dad. Yeah. And on top of that, like, I love the moment. I love Diana Riggs face when she hears the, the radio call. And it's, she knows it's her father.

And she joins the scheme. Yeah. She joins. She does her part. Yeah. It's just, it's terrific. And, you know, the shot of those three helicopters coming in and then them opening fire. So good.

And then the whole team rigging, the whole place to blow up. A man and I are talking about going there next year, going to the Alps and going to Pits Gloria specifically. And when the scene where Bond slides on his stomach, I went, you know I'm going to do this, right? Like, whatever. If I even have to bring a skateboard. I hate you. I hate you.

You're going to get to do that. Oh, God. someone sent pictures of that place. It looks amazing. Yeah. It's still there. Yeah. And they've done a whole bond thing with it.

It's like a bomb museum. Oh, awesome. Yeah. When you go? We're talking about maybe as an anniversary trip in May or June. Oh, man. It's probably a good time to go. Yeah.

Snowy, right still? I think in May there might be some snow left, yeah. And those two little villages below, like there are two separate villages, the ice skating village and the Derby village are like Murren and Grimwald or something like that. I can't remember. but those are all there too. Yeah, I love... What are you going to do if there isn't enough ice for you to slide on your belly?

I'll bring a skateboard. Will you? Or I'll throw down some vegetable oil, whatever it takes. I don't care. Yeah, so my favorite close-out, it's my favorite climax to a Bond movie. Yeah. Is this storming of the castle, as it were?

And then, you know, it ends with a wedding. Yeah. I love that there's a... a scene at the wedding where Q's giving advice to bond and I half expect him to like give him a gadget but it's like a marital aid or something where it's like we work on some other things there as well

she's unsatisfied just place this in her what here this is actually it looks like my hand but it's that's so it can fit over your hand and it vibrates which my hand could do grow up four times over yes

this is a self-actuating condom rubber what's the what's the score on this. Golden eye minus? His hands, I think maybe it's the cold and the altitude. This is a gold five, gold and I minus 5.5. His hands are relatively small.

These might be the smaller. His hands have been. Oh, yeah. Still largening. Yes. As we go along. I noticed that. Only relatively small.

The impigening of the hands. Now, let's talk about the last moment of the movie, I suppose. Yeah. We'll close out on that. Boy, this got me. This is the first time I've watched

this movie married. I got a text from Matt. He cried. I did. I cried at the end of this movie. And this is that I decided on my own that this was because it was the first time I'd watched the movie since having gotten married. Me too, but I didn't cry. What does that say?

It says that you're heartless. I guess it does. Or that you have seen it more than I have and really didn't let the emotion resonate with you. But it is so, you know, it's so heartbreaking. It's so sweet. The two of them, you're really rooting for those guys. And just, what a. What a way to go out.

What a way for James Bond's wife to go out. Also, the bigger tragedy for me is that the real reason she's killed happens to be because they're pulled over. It's an easy shot. But he pulls over solely because he doesn't want to look like a flower at. Do you notice that? Because those kids drive by and go, say it with flowers. He's right.

Those young hippies. So he's taking the flowers up. That's the important thing he had to do. He let his guard down for just a second. And I thought he played it really well. I know that they said, I remember reading that Laysenby said, we did a take with tears. I'd like to see that. And, yeah, it would have been an interesting outtake.

He said, it just, they felt the audience wouldn't buy Bond with a tear in his eye. And it's funny. All the people that die around James Bond, there's only one other time where they did play it with tears and his eyes. And it's one thing that really warmed me to Dalton. After, I can't remember the character's name, but the sort of tight-assed head of section. Oh, Saunders. Saunders. When Saunders is killed, he comes up from that and he looks angry.

Yeah. But when he finally, you know, manages to, he tries to chase down the assassin and loses him. He churns and Lividaba's there. And he's red-eyed. You can tell that it affected him to have lost Saunders. It's the only other time we've seen Bond. affected by a death. Obviously not as much as this, but I like the idea that Bond could maybe shed a tear for

another human being. He cries for M in Skyfall. Yes. Yeah. That's right. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I like it too.

I would love to see the take of Blazzy and Bee. Or maybe Glaze and Bee, I don't know, maybe he couldn't get the tears convincing. I mean, they just put some glycerin in his eyes and there you go. But I think I just like his head buried in the tenderness with which he touches. her. And it's really, really a sad, heartbreaking, but beautiful moment. I find myself touched by

it until he starts speaking, because I feel there's just still an element where Lazyz-Nbee doesn't believe, because he's kind of doing this sweet poetic denial that she's dead, and I'm missing some connection with him to it or something. That's why I wonder if that take is closer, and then

it ends so abruptly that it takes me out. Well, yeah, because they have all the time in the world. I mean, maybe my favorite Bond song. Yeah. I love the, I watched it with, with subtitles. This is man singing. And I wanted to scream at the TV.

Man? Man singing? It's Louis friggin' Armstrong. For Christ's sake. But they come out of, I would have stayed on just one more verse of all the time in the world before bashing in with, Bada,

Bada! And it seemed a little frivolous. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one thing. It jarred me when I was 11. It jarred me last night. But wow, you certainly get why he's on that mission.

And that's part of why I would have liked to see Lays and B of Diamonds. Because that bond has got a reason to go after Blowfield. Yeah. Agreed. Well, let's rate this thing, huh? Out of 007, from the 00-0-0,000 to 00-7. Where do you rate on Her Majesty's Secret Service? This is tough.

I'm going to go 006.5. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I I gotta be right there with you. Okay. 006 and a half. Maurice?

I got to take it down to a 006 just because, you know, Goldfinger. And, you know, it's, it's, but it's pretty damn close. I mean,

that's really, it's really well executed but for a couple of less than terrific moments where Lays and B's a little wooden the moments where he really has to play the emotion, the high marks for that extremely vulnerable scene

gives it, yeah, a double of six for me. It just occurred to me. I would love to be able to see this movie with like the sound from the day not the ADR because I wonder how much of his woodenness is in the studio doing ADR because he's so much of his stuff is 80 yard.

Yeah. That's interesting. Well, he probably had to do that for the accent. You know? Yeah. You know, he probably was like clearly the beach stuff.

Well, first of all, you got the sound of the ocean. Right. You know, and if they've intercut, you're going to have like hard cuts on the,

on the wave sound. But, but, you know, it may have been that he was standing over here. Good morning. My name's born. James Bourne.

You know, I was like, you know, all right, we'll fix it in post. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Well, Matt, you get to choose the next film. Yeah, Oh, only natural. Let's just fucking bookend this, and we're going diamonds or forever for the next one. Oh, that's exciting. That's exciting. Truly exciting.

Diamonds are forever. I can't wait to see Vegas, Connery. Willard White. And Winton Kid. Tiffany Case, plenty O'Toole. Bambi and Thumper. Living together. Q breaking the law.

Right. Just rigging that slot machine to keep. winning. Although he doesn't take... And the elevator fight. In that slow, slow fucking elevator. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Amsterdam Eleanor. That'll be fun. Really looking forward to it. Maurice, thank you so much. Thank you guys for having our program. I had a great time.

We'll do it again. We look forward to your return in 2018 once you're out of Canada. Where we'll tackle that weird movie I've never seen. It completes it. You've gone outside the canon for Never Say Never Again.

Sure. I think Cass or Royal 67. We'll bring in every cinematic version of Bond. And I think that's... Matt, one thing I want to do before we close out. So, as you know, you and I are now James Bond Cannon because we are in Abraham Mustafa's brilliant one-shot comic solstice.

We are pictured in a scene where we are in the background of an audience there. Abraham has sent to us the original page and how you and I are going to even decide who gets this thing. We just do shared custody or what? I don't know, but look how beautiful that is. There we are. And again, if you haven't checked out his artwork, the art of Ibrahim Mustafa stuff, it's so great. He did the prints for all the films and beautiful.

That's truly amazing. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. Oh, yeah, there you are. That is brilliant. Oh, wow. We've got to figure that out.

So it's at your house Mondays and Tuesdays. His house Wednesdays and Thursdays, and then you share alternating weekends. I mean, I really guess the only thing to do is to get Abraham to write another book. And have us in here as well. That way we can each have the page. And while you're at, it just make us the main character. Yeah, I don't understand why you're not. At least make us Winton Kid of whatever book you're writing.

That's true. Oh, please. Oh, God. Well, thank you, Maurice. It was a pleasure. It was great. James Bonding. We'll return.

Nurner, no, no, nur, nur. You have to make that match up now. Just a reminder to check out Dr. Games show on Earwolf. If you want to know what the show is, go back and listen to the first ad. All you have to do to hear it is listen and subscribe to Dr. Game Show on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever, podcasts are sold. And follow your Doctor Game Show and your Facebook and Twitter so you can participate when they record episodes. It's the last ad. It's Christmas.

You know what? I like a podcast where you've got to put in work to listen. That's how you know it's real. This has been in Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Ackerman, Chris Bannon, and Colin Anderson. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season 3 has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season 3 is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin. McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Fake Nats. Rachel Bloom.

You all see my collection of men, corpses, and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice.

Thomas Middletch. Jesus, I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the eight. Circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3 of ALO from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.