James Bonding - Park, Theme Park (with Paul Scheer)

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

Paul Scheer sits down with Matt and Matt to create a James Bond theme park. From the Hotel to the rides to the concessions they've thought of everything. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There's a new show here at Earwolf from the people at Cracked. It's called Cracked Gets Personal. They interview real sources and get answers to most questions people are afraid to ask, like, Is my Garbage Man keeping tabs on me? What's it like to have killed someone? What does it really feel like to be on heroin? Host Brendan and Robert combine compassion with comedy to get you these answers and more from real people with unreal lives.

Subscribe now in Apple Podcast, Stitcher, or wherever you listen. Listen. Before we begin this episode, we want to tell you a little bit about our social media. Oh, we have media, and it's very social. Thanks to our new social media. Should we give our social media person a letter moniker? Like, we have an M. We have a Q.

We have an S? That's brilliant. For social. Yeah. So, we've hired an S. We've got two M's and an S. our social media person, Emily, she's wonderful, she's on the job, and you can find all you need to know about James Bonding in these three places.

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You've been great. You've all come back with open arms. We've noticed quite a bit of activity on our Twitters and downloads. So thank you for that. And you're really going to like this episode. I know I did. It's really one of the most ridiculous and fun things we've done on this program. But also important. So if you're out there, Broccoli's, take a listen. We've got a couple ideas. Enjoy. Matt and, Matt and, Matt and, James Bonding podcast.

All right, my name's Matt Goreley. I'm here with Matt Myra and Paul Shear. And the way that we're going to structure this episode, because this is possibly the most important topic we've ever covered on James Bonding. It's hard to argue so far. Go ahead, man. We'll get to the How Are You Guys in just a second. Yeah, yeah.

But let's say, Eon Productions comes to us, the official producers of James Bond, Barbara Broccoli, Michael Wilson. They said, Look, the movies, they're fun and all, but we feel like the real important meat of the matter here is we want a James Bond theme park. Not a ridiculous ask. No, a logical ask. Seems reasonable the way people are making their media everywhere.

I mean, look, there's Nintendo theme park coming out. Yes, that's right. We can have a James Bond theme. There's a Dollywood? I mean, come on. A lot of. Kenny Rogers also has a theme park. Bible land?

There's a precedent for building a theme park around one persona. I mean, Mickey Mouse, of course, but you got Dolly, Parton. Jesus Christ. Yep. Okay. Wally. Santa Claus. Yes.

That's right. They said, we asked around and people said three names came up. Yeah. Matt Gora, Paul Shear. We want you to head the committee to brainstorm what a James Bond theme park would be. And we want you to do it on microphone. Wow. It was.

First of all, that's a great. I'm in. Honored. Honored to be asked. Yeah. I mean, by the way, the fact that we got up the ranks at Eon really quickly. I mean, there's so many Imagineers. There's so many Mark.

Marvel Juniors. People that have talent at this, people that have skills, people that have experience. Well, I will tell you, I am a huge theme park guy. So I'm bringing that. That's your bona fiend. I'm going to bring that in. I'm a guy who listens to one of the most nerdy theme park podcast on a weekly basis, Jim Hill's Disney podcast.

And it's, you have to pay on band camp to listen to it. But it's basically Jim Hill and Jim Hill and Len Testa. and they just go so detailed into the attractions of Disney, past, future. That's up my alley. That is up my alley. It's so much fun to listen to. I worked at Disney for 13 years. Oh, really?

Universal for one short summer, long enough to meet my life. Magical summer. Yes, that's right. And those are my credentials. Matt, where are you coming from on this fan perspective? Well, let's just say my wife and I planned a trip to Paris and I dragged her to Disneyland. Oh, I did that to a girlfriend. I did that to a girlfriend and it was worth every penny.

I like that you say I did that to a girlfriend. Oh, yeah. With a girlfriend. No, no, too. I made her go. I mean, there was no, look, we were going. We took the chunnel over. We could see the Louvre or we could go see how haunted mansion is in Paris.

And I tell you, it was pretty good. It's pretty cool. Also, don't want to brag, but I may or may not own a bi-coastal annual passport. Wow, that's an interesting thing. I recently have been down in Orlando. few times this year and I was really excited to go back to Disneyland. World. And former MGM Studios.

I don't know what's called now. Yeah, I call it MGM. Sure. I do too. Yeah, we're there. Indiana Jones Stuntcher. Oh yeah.

Great movie ride. Rest in peace. I know. Tomorrow. So sad. Wait. In Disneyland? Yeah.

In Disney World and Disney Studios, the great movie ride. Oh. Yeah. Now it's going to be replaced with like a Mickey Train ride, which will be great joy to to my child because he loves trains and he loves. Mickey Mouse, but for all those kids who really wanted to go see a recreation of Casablanca, sorry, you're out of look. I did ride that just a handful of months ago, not even, like maybe two months ago.

You want to get one last goodbye. I did. Yeah. And I was like, who is this for? I love it. I love it. But you're going through movies that have no relevance to anyone. It's like, you know, singing in the rain, obviously a hit, but, you know.

Singing in the rain, Starlight Express. What? No, it's singing in the rain. It's not even E.T. It's like Mary Poppins. It's Tarzan. It's Wizard of Oz, Casablanca, Fantasia. So every second or third movie is a Disney movie.

Not even, really. I think the main thrust of it is the Wizard of Oz is the main sort of area. And then you get caught in like an Indiana Jones set or also the James Cagney Public Enemy set. also the Cowboys said. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have been on this. Yes. Oh, my God.

The James Cagney for some reason is what brought me back. Because he's wearing his tuxedo. Oh, God. That animatronic is wearing James Cagney's Real Academy Award tuxedo. Oh, really? Well, we're getting off topic, only to say we are true professionals. That's right. You guys, your knowledge of James Bond may be a little bit deeper than mine, but I would also say, I have a good James Bond knowledge.

Oh, I think, and heart and enthusiasm, like we say on here, we're lovers not experts. That's right. You need not be an expert to apply. Look, I bought that box set. I waited until it came back to $99 on iTunes to make sure that I can always be able to jump into any chance bond I want. Welcome to the class action suit again. I know, I know. Class action suit update.

We'll be with you next week. Yes. Now, listen, I thought what we do is we break this down into the things that we need to achieve a name for this park, with different lands, rides, shows, food, and merch. Got it. Does that sound good? I love it. I didn't even have merch.

Oh, yeah, you got to have merch. But I had something you don't have. on your list. What? Okay. Please add, yes. Hotel accommodations. Okay.

Well, this is actually really good because, you know, Star Wars right now is making a big foray into the hotel world at Disney, and they're basically treating the Disney hotel, the Star Wars hotel like a cruise ship. You pay one price and then you pretty much exist in this hotel. It's like a starship for the entire time. Well, maybe we should start there because it's really easy to conceive of checking into a hotel and getting the James Bond experience where someone comes up and knows your name. So you've already got your reservations and they're like, ah, you know, oh, Mr. Shear.

No, no. That's not exactly how it will happen. First, you'll see someone who doesn't know who you are. And then someone from behind him will recognize you and shove that person away. Oh, well, here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to go back even further. I'm making the reservation. And instead of a Disney wristband, I'm getting a replica of a James Bond watch, an Omega.

Yes. But it really is just a park pass. So it opens up your hotel doors. It opens, gets you on to the ride. I love it. Pass pass. So you get that. So the minute you walk through the door, the people there, they do know who you are.

Because we do need to understand. Like, these are just humans. They're not going to be able to really do all this recon. So you are setting off some sort of a thing. There's a sensor in the concierge desk that brings up your name. Boom. Yeah. And no matter when you are getting your reservation, if it's your first time there, they still say your usual room.

Of course. Yes. Yes. Now, do we want to talk about the floors being themed? Oh, yeah. Or do we want to have each, the hotel just have one theme? Well, I think what we'll do. This is probably going to be so popular.

We're going to need to build more than one hotel site. Oh, you're right. So we've got to launch with one. Launch with one strong, right? Yeah. So what's our main hotel going to be? Yeah, are we going off Bond hotels from the movies, or each floor is themed for specific either like, like, geographic.

Traffic location? If we're going to, if we're, if we're, if we're theming each floor, we're shooting our wad. That's what I think. I think we save that for other hotels. So I think if we're using this as our entry point to the theme park. Yes. I do think there is some, because look, there's so many movies to pick from, right? And I wouldn't say there's like one typical hotel, but I like the idea of it being like an MI6 kind of.

Aesthetic? Aesthetic. Yeah. You know, so it just, you know, and so. So there, you know, you could have the double panel doors for your bed. Like, you know, like, pulling that. So it's a little classy. It's a little like, um, I like, you know, I know it's not as flashy as others, but you

would, to really double down on one hotel. It's hard to kind of say like, I mean, where does he stay that you know. Yeah, the only one I could go to is the Goldfinger Hotel just because it's sort of sunny. You know, but I went to the boat there with the man with a golden gun. And I was like, that's the only, like, visual thing. This is interesting because my, my immediate hotel I jumped to was the firm Russia with Love Hotel. Oh. And then there's also the Casino Royale.

Well, there's going to be someone filming you from behind. And that's like your momento. Yeah. They send you home with a videotape of you having sex with whoever. By the way, that's amazing. But you know what? I think you stumbled upon the winning idea. I think it should be a casino hotel.

Thank you, man. That's it. That is 100% right. Because then you have this atmosphere. And you can also do gambling for kids. Like, you know, like you're a lot of a certain amount of chips. It's not real gambling. We give them, we give them gelt.

Yes, that's right. Stacks of gelt for the kids. Disney bucks. Yeah. Disney dollars or whatever they're called. I love the idea of a casino. And it's a uniquely crafted casino that, like, most of these theme parks pull elements. So you're like, oh, that's a little casino real there.

That's a little this, you know. You got your diamonds or forever Vegas thing. In fact, they even go to Circus Circus in that movie. So maybe for the kids, you've got that. for the adults, you've got the casino royale poker tables. Oh, sure. Oh, this is great.

And then by the way, it's great, it's a great, like maybe you say after 8 p.m., the gambling can turn over to be real gambling. Yeah. Over 18 games. And it's the only place that actually really has a section of decent baccarat tables.

Yeah. But I also like the idea of a very nervous eight-year-old heading over to a casino cage to try to get more chocolate. Are there atmosphere? You know how Disney has atmosphere entertainers that don't do a show specific? but they're like face characters that walk throughout the park.

So in this casino, does Plenty O'Toole come up to you and go, hi, let me blow on your dice or whatever. There is a Plenty O'Toole. Sure, she pops down there. 100%. I mean, yeah, you need to, yeah. I think, again, we have to think, not blowing our wad yet.

We're just simply creating a fun experience. This is the hotel. Yeah. You know, unless we're creating a, you're in it to win it kind of all weekend adventure, I think this is just, it's nice, it's an upscale casino. There are elements to it.

Maybe in every room you have to find the bug. Oh, God. So, you know, every room is the bug is hidden in a different spot. And you get, like, some Disney points or you get a fast pass. I love it. I love it. If you find it. The only thing I'm certain of is they've come to the right people for this.

Oh, 100. 100%. This is a premium hotel, not unlike the Grand Floridian. Yeah, I like this. Is that like the Grand California? It sure is. Okay, yeah. And I think if you're staying at the hotel, you should get, you have the water.

You have the Omega Watch, which is going to be your fast pass anyway. But I think you should get something from Q. Q branch. Yeah. You have to get something from Q branch delivered to your room. Yes. And that is something that can come into play throughout your weekend. Yes.

You know, or your stay. Maybe it's something as simple as like an earring communicator or something that at some point signifies report to this ride right now and you get to go on fast pass lane or something. You know, and I'm even thinking even simpler and going. going, it's like a scanner that if you, like a dark light scanner, there's a black light scanner, there are certain things. Oh, in your mom. So, you know, so it's like, again, I'm thinking cost, right? Unfortunately with that one, though, there will be added things the more guests coming.

Yeah, yeah, you'll be finding a lot of. First weekend, though. Yeah. It's going to be great. But, you know, let's say you don't use it because they like, chew branches. Don't use this in your room. Just use this in the park. Cute branch tells you right out the back.

It's best you not use this in your room, double, seven. All right. So that's the hotel. I feel like one hotel is good. And it would be, we'd name it something good. The hotel bar,

of course, will be quite the place. I mean, you could just call the hotel the casino royale. It could be. Yes, perfect. By the way, yeah, 100%.

Done. Okay. Done. Casino. I love that. Write that down. Get that over to eat. By the way,

I hope that your fans will be mocking up sort of like a Disney map of this. You know, We need artists rendering. I've done some work myself that I will present it. I can't.

I can't wait. All right. Hotel is done. Please add to this, especially I was thinking about doing that map of the different lands, but I didn't get to it. Okay. I have a question. Yeah. How are we getting from the hotel to the theme park entrance?

I'll tell you how. Please. The monorail that rides under Specter Volcano. Ooh, I have a Specter volcano idea, but this is like, I won't know. But this is just the monorail because it can go to that. That would be whatever it was in the park. You know, it could be that if you're up for more adventure, maybe you're in some sort of maintenance for an oil pipe rig.

Oh, boy. Diamonds are forever. Well, you know what I was thinking of, even a more obscure pole, where Timothy Dalton took Olivia Diallo in the Living Daylights Tunnel, I believe. It was that other, it was no, Yergen Prochnapna. Well, they smuggled the violinist. No, what's his name? crab, Jerome Crabb.

Lover is not expert. Yes, that's right. But like that, like I, some sort of tunnel based. There's a lot of, yeah. Point is it's going to be a pneumatic tube. However we get there, it's a pneumatic tube. Yeah. It's the only.

Let's say, okay, let's say there's three. So you've got the diamonds are forever. You can go for like levels of adventure. You've got the living daylights one. Yeah. And then you've got like the gold finger duct that you can crawl through yourself if you want to work. That one seems hot. That one seems very hot.

Well, let's just go back one step here. And I'm asking a question that I don't have an answer to. Yes. Because James Bondland, obviously, we're going to be visiting some of our classic villains. We're going to be visiting some of our classic films. But do we want to create, like, a lore for the park in the sense that is there one villain that is, like, kind of overseeing the entire... I think it makes sense. The umbrella of it.

Especially because of the films, we have that in Blofeld. And he's our main villain, but depending on the different lands, you could have different henchmen or villains. But he would be the overarching. I mean, look, I think as we've seen from the last James Bond movie, everything is connected. So it's very easy to make, to just say, oh, yes, every movie was connected to this is one thing.

After the fact, everything's connected. Just like Fast and the Furious, which stole from Specter to say, oh, yeah, everything that happened in the last five movies was intentional. Oh, God. All right, so pneumatic tube. Okay, great. We're going to get to the theme park. And it's safe.

Just very safe. Yeah. I can't imagine anything going wrong. Let's save the title of the park for the last. Yeah, I feel like that's... Break down how we want to do these lands because we've got, you know, frontier land, tomorrow land, that sort of thing. Well, I had two...

Before we get to that, we're going to have to know what we're walking into and what leads us out on the spoke to the various lanes. Okay. Front gate, main street type area. Yeah, so we need a main street. And I was thinking... that Main Street could just be Saville Row. Yes. A hundred percent yes. You know?

Yes. 100% yes. This is the first moment where I 100% wish this existed. By the way, I want to talk about, like, I agree. And again, it's the theme park. It's not as big as, you know, London. I want to just say that I do believe that this park has many bodies of water because I think there's going to be water transport here as well.

And you also want. on a water stunt show. Well, I mean, I was going to go one step further and say like Volcano Bay and Universal, I'd love to create the You Only Live Twice Volcano Bay. The one that was developed. Yes. And so I feel like there's water slides attached to that. Oh, of course.

As well. Yeah. That's at our water theme. Many of you know this, but if you haven't, just Google James Bond theme park stunt show. It was universal, correct? I think so. Oh, really? They were going to make one at Universal.

Extensive. Full size. Submarines. Like the whole night. Wow. That would have, as a kid, that would have knocked me over. I mean, because I love theme parks done shows more than anything. But I'm like relegated to watching Waterworld, which I still love.

I mean, the first trip to Universal to me was Miami Vice. I've seen that. So many. I still watch it on YouTube. Oh, it's amazing. I met those people. Got their autographs. I have them.

I have them in my house. Like, my dad is a pharmacist, and so we only had prescription, like, not prescription pads, but, like, pads that had, like, ads for drugs on it, you know? Like, so, yeah, so it was just, like, advertising. So I have, like, Marky Post autograph on it, but then I also have, like, two autographs from guys that signed at Miami's. Where did you meet Marky Post? Oh, I would go on a Miami Vice Street show, because she played Crocket. I did a thing called Hollywood on location, and you would go to this office in Beverly Hills, and you'd pay, like, 50 bucks, and they would give you. where every location pulled permits to shoot that day.

So you would see, like, when I was going, I'm dating myself here, but it was like Simon and Simon is shooting down by the marina. We went there. We saw Highway to Heaven with Michael Landon. We saw Marky Post shooting this movie where she played like a hooker. It was like a TV movie of the week. Sure. You know, so we spent, I would say, it was so much fun for us because, you know, L.A. is a pretty bland place to visit ultimately. Like, I mean, after you do Disney and Universal as a kid.

Yeah. You know, and back then it was even less built up than it is now. So it was like so much fun. We just were driving around L.A., like bumping into sets, and they were very, you know, they let you get as close as you want. As a kid, it was the most exciting thing. Did you go to any live tapings, live TV tapings? Yes.

We went to the Fox had a show. It was a late night talk show that was hosted by a man who looked like Tim Allen, but he was not Tim Allen. And it was, it was after Arsenio, it was this guy, a very, very, white man. And I'm gonna, I'm following. Late night, yeah. Like,

it was, I just remember, like, and I liked him, and he had on, when we were there, Chuck Norris. Wow.

You're not thinking of Rick D's into the night, are you? No, it's not Rick D's because I was on that show when I was 18 years old for a trivia competition. Whoa.

This is unbelievable. I love that. I did not realize this can of arms is going to be opened. Let's see. My Fox late night was, when I was there,

like what his, this guy's, like, big thing was, he would go into the crowd and get questions from the audience. Oh, okay. So I remember, like, they said, don't wave at the camera. Don't do anything like that. And I, like, when I did a little, like, because I'm describing it as best as I can for you listening, like, my hand was almost at my breast. And I would just, like, gave, like, a little tweak of my hand.

Like, it was like a wave, but it was so. I'm cool. You can pick me. I'm not going to freak out on you. You can pick me. I need to find out what. this show is called, and I will. Have you, did you go to any tapings?

You lived in a lot of language. Yeah, I, for some reason, didn't. I went to Universal Studios a hell of a lot. In fact, I even saw the A-Team Stunt Show before Miami-Vice. Sure, I've seen photos of the A-Team Sten show. We've talked about it before on the show. But I went to Rick D's and did end up on the show just as an audience member in a competition.

Oh, guys, I found out who hosted my show. Who? Ross Schaefer is an American comedian and television host. turned motivational and leadership speaker and consultant based in Denver, Colorado. Ross Schaefer was given a show on Fox. S-H-A-F-E-R. That's bananas. Yeah.

Yeah, this is interesting. In 1994, Ross began writing and producing a series of 14 human resource training films distributed worldwide and non-languages. Good God. But, yeah, so Ross Schaefer, he's married to Leah Schaefer, country singer. That's great. answer. No, that's okay. I liked the little, I liked our little walk down memory lane. All right, so Seville Row. I love that.

Salro. Here's the deal. You're going to, you walk in. You know how you go into Disneyland? You're like, well, okay, I have great moments with Mr. Lincoln on the right. I have no recollection of that human being Paul is showing me. I do remember him. Great moments with Lincoln is on the right. That's the opera house. So I'm thinking in there, because it's the opera house, we're going to have the opera from Quantum of Salas. Which is the film that most guests will be coming to experience. Well, that's why it's right on the right. You kind of walk, you blow by it.

Only if there's a parade and you're like, I, we've got to kill time. Oh, I got to write to a parade. Yes, of course, parades. Yeah. Well, they're all going to be, you know, Mardi Gras themed. Or the festival of death. There should be in New Orleans, swear. Dio Dio.

There's also carnival. But what I like to do when I go to Disneyland is go right to the churro machine. The guy selling churos right at the front of the park. However, and James, Bond Park, which has not been named yet, I think there will be a man selling three-foot-tall frozen Vespers. Ooh, like that. Yeah, in plastic martini glasses. That's a great piece of merch.

And classy. I'm going to, I'm going to again push my idea of, at the end of Saville Row. Savilleur. Sorry, I was mispronouncing it. I think you have to have, I'm sorry, I'm all off. messed up now. Then you have to have like M6.

M.I.6. You're going to have the SIS building. I feel like in the front. So you're looking at that. That's exactly right. That's the castle. That is the castle. Yes.

But my argument to what's on your right is I don't think you put an opera there. I have a theory that you would take all the bond. You guys tell me what you think. Sure. Either all the actors that played Bond and you have them do like classic hall of presidents. Or you do all the villains and have them all

Oh, detail there. Hang on. That's a great idea, Paul. But we're going to move that towards the middle of the park. But what you do get right at the right, when you walk in, instead of great moments with Mr. Lincoln, it is great moments with Mr. Fleming. Oh, okay. It is an animatronic, bitter Ian Fleming who hates lesbians and is afraid of gays.

Today's his, is it the day he died or his birthday? One of them is today. We miss you, Ian. But it would be animatronic. He will stand up and tell you braggie stories about World War II. Okay. That may or may not have been correct. Me and my Red Indian Commandos and commandeered a small scuppelang and sailed and straight into the old Jerry's and gave him the what for, you know?

I was thinking that, and I don't want to do this, but I had the idea of separating the lands by actors. So you had like Lays and B. Lane or Connery Corner and it's just too cute and it doesn't work. We got to theme it probably to like... You could certainly have some thoroughfares named after each of us. Yeah, but I think if we're going to go lands, we have, I mean, in my opinion, you have to do climates or, you know, or like, you know, locations. Locations. I mean, we have to have like, we have to have the Alps, you know, or some sort of snowy locale. So in your mind, it becomes more of a showcase of the world at Epcot situation.

To a certain degree. But I think each one of those worlds, like I think in every Bond film, there are. are certain go-toes, right? So you would feel like if you had an Alp-like setting, there's many things you can do in that. It's perfect. It's perfect. So you would put the Pete's Gloria on Her Majesty Secret Service revolving bar or restaurant up there.

Plus you have like the Bob Sled Chase ride. We'll get into rides a second. The motorcycles from four-year-rise only, the airplane from Specter. It's brilliant. You got like the Jamaica slash Bahamas. Yes. A hundred percent. Oh, the tropical time.

Tropical Alpine. And then even like what the specter volcano could transition out of the Alps because it's kind of mountainous or something. Yeah, some sort of, I think you would want some sort of layer land. Or yeah, or that's the, like, you know, like, the Orient. By the way, I just want to mention it. Yeah, the Orient is good. Yeah, because it's got like a racial tinge too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you need a little bit of that. Yeah. Yeah. Keep a sharp eye as you're walking down Saville Row and see if you can spot the hidden Michael G. Wilson's. That's throughout the park. That's so good. I love that.

He's just a little outline of his mustache. Everywhere you look, they've incorporated into the scenery. Listen for the high-pitched nasally wine. No offense. No offense. None taken. All right. At the shops on Saville Row, you can, of course, get a tailored suit to Sean Conner's specific.

Made for you. You go in the morning and it's done by day. Wow. Done the day. It's a lot. There's questionable labor practices happening in the theme park, but they get it done. Same park. Yeah.

That's right. I do feel like you want something as you walk into the park that is similar to what they're doing right now at Harry Potterland where you get the wand. I think you want to get your photo taken. I think you want to have that little badge. And I think you want to get. And now you can't carry around the pistol. We understand that.

We totally 100% get that. But I think that going in and getting a license to kill, I think you should have some sort of like show. but that leads right into a gift shop where you can get your own life. I mean, maybe. Everybody gets radioactive lint. Or you're getting your license to thrill.

Uh-huh. Because of the thrill rides at the park. Well, that's what we would actually call the promotions and stuff. Oh, I understand. That does bring us to the actual ride that existed, which is another thing we should talk about. There was a theme park ride called License to Thrill. Great name.

It's on YouTube. Yeah. I haven't watched this. I watched. The only thing I could really find was the, like, 15-minute video. of what it's like to be in line because Judy Dench does one of those video screen intros to them.

Oh, cool. Yeah, so it's worth checking out. I'm excited about that. This already exists. As a father of a three-year-old right now, one of the things that we do when we want to watch TV, me and my son,

is we watch videos of rides, Disneyland rides. I do that and I don't have a talk about it. And it's become quite fun for us to go find different rides. And I really want us to think, though, you know, we're building the steam park from scratch. It's going to take a long time.

We have to be thinking Star Warsland, Tron Light Cycles. We have to be going the next level. We can't be, we're not creating the Pirates of the Caribbean because we need to go. We're the theme park of today. You're saying it's not about re-skinned these old rides. I think that we have to think, I think we have to go, let's take what's working in the Harry Potter world. Let's take what's working in the Guardians of the Galaxy. We've got to move forward.

I mean, we have tips of hats. Could I introduce you to the virtual reality pavilion where you get to put on some VR glasses, grab yourself a fake Walther P99, and reenact the only interesting scene in the world is not enough? Fair comment. If you get to do that and you maybe when do you get to recreate the scene from the non-canon James Bond movie? Oh, never say never again. You need to play the game. Where you have to get shocked when you play the tie fighters that fight each other. And don't forget, you can step inside to the facial recognition computer,

mainframe, and make a picture of Warren Zeevlin. That's incredible. You sit down with someone playing Q. Yes. I do believe, as I'm finding, like, you know, escape rooms, obviously are getting to be a big thing. Oh, and by the way, that is one of my pitches. That the MI6, I think we're going to take after Spector,

and the ride in there is, like, almost an escape room where you have to try to get out. Oh, I like that. Oh, I like that. Yeah. It's like a little, so it's dark. It's kind of like, um, it's kind of like a escape room, but it's also kind of like a, like a haunted mansion. Yeah.

Kind of a thing and you're running around and trying to, you know, you have to rescue, you got to do your, you have to do your tasks. I love it. But, um, I think the idea would, that I would love is that you are trying to, what I've heard about the new Star Wars land is that based on how you doing certain rides, they come up to you and they're like, I really blew it today. Oh yeah. Yeah.

There's an interacting. or you did a great job. And so you get like, you're known. So I do think that there would be fun if you're trying to chase a villain down. You're trying to spot a villain somewhere. Yeah, there's a story element. Yeah. I think that that to me seems important.

Yeah. I feel like there is, yeah. So do you think you have to kill two animatronic bad guys to get your double-up status? Well, I mean, look. Your record shows no kills. So, okay, I think what we need to do right now is establish these lands. Because I've got a lot of ride ideas and I want to know where to put them. Yeah.

In fact, we should almost quickly go through each film and pick one ride from each. Well, and I'm going to say that to add to these lands because we have the Orient, we have alpine, we have tropical. I want to add this one that is, and this is where I need to help with the term. Understood. It is the New Orleans. It is Mexico City. It's like the vibrant foreign locale that because I feel like, because what I want to do is, I want to put a few carnival games in.

I feel like that's always a filler. I know. Why don't we embrace the fill of the movies, in particular the fill of the novels, and just call it vaguely ethnic or ethnically ambiguous marketplace. Yeah, by the way, marketplace is kind of great. Why don't we just call it the marketplace? Or bizarre.

How about the bazaar? The bazaar. Great. You can get in line and ride your dirt bike across the roofs of the bazaar. That's right. It's really a lot of them. You want to see locals. You want to have things.

out there. I think that's going to be a lot of fun. You can also get on Rickshaw Madness, which is just essentially it's Mr. Toes Wilde. It's retooled as a rickshaw. Oh, I'm sorry. In fact, maybe now is the time. All right, this is exciting.

All right, so I've done a little bit of concept art. Oh, I love. So just for our people listening at home and who are drawing this, we have four lands. Yes. That are connected. The hub. They come out of the spoke of the SIS building

in England, which is where MIS. is based. Right. And then we've got the alpine area, which maybe transitions into the volcano or specter sector. Yes. And it's not a moat around it. It's the Thames. The Thames is around.

Yes. Yeah. And then we've got... You're entering down Saville Row. You can get a frozen martini. You can then head down and get a suit made. What are we missing? We're not missing, but we just failed to neglect it, to mention it, which is a train.

We need a train to go around. We're going to talk about the train. I have a whole plan for this train. Okay. Okay. Have you guys been on the Harry Potter train? It's amazing. It's amazing.

It's amazing. And I feel like I want to steal some of that train technology. We're going to need to have all that train technology. So you go MI6. Yes, sir. Behind that is, let's say behind that, maybe even peeking above it is the specter volcano. And from that... I'm sorry, nothing can be higher than the castle.

To the mind's eye. Okay. Maybe we go around it. Well, right now, according to Jim Hill, this is the first time that Disney's kind of breaking that... they're breaking a few things. They're building a restaurant that is higher than the berm. Oh, my God.

That's going to look out over everything. I know. It's going to be a very high class experience. But yeah, they're doing a couple berm breaking things. When you say berm, what do you mean? Well, that's what Jim Hill always talking about, the berm. I think it's the foliage. It's the line of sight for Disney.

It's why Walt ended up buying a bunch of Florida because he hated the fact that when he was on the sky ride, he could see the five. I see. Yeah. Okay. Well, my point is that these transition nicely new each other. So Alpine transitions nicely into the mountain volcano, which is theoretically in the movie,

at least, set in Japan, which transitions into the Orient, which might go into Thailand for Man with the Golden Gun, which brings us to the tropical areas of Jamaica and Bahamas. And from there, we go to the bazaar, and a train goes around the whole thing. Yeah. And in the hub is MI6, which is led to by Savile Row and the Tempt. You know, you're just saying, man with the golden gun made me. think that maybe my MI6 escape room is not as good as a male with the golden gun. Fun house.

That's way, well, I think, of course, the shooting gallery is going to be there. But maybe you've got your choice. Maybe you've got your choice of two. I mean, we've got the budget. I don't even tell you what the budget they greenlit for this thing is great. I can only imagine. I mean, we have to be competitive. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Do we have a location for where this is going to be based? That's a good question. I mean, is it going to be located. Obviously, I feel like your gut is going to be like you want it to be the first U.K. Yeah. I mean, you do. Like you have one in France.

You do, but I'd like to visit it. And I feel like if it's in the UK, I'm not going to get there as often. 100%. But I do feel like, it's got to be. It's got to be. Because I think we have to appeal to these foreign business money. We need that in there too. And, you know, it's a real doggy dog world here.

I mean, where are you going to put it? Like Texas is not Texas. And it's got to have that air of authenticity. Yeah. And by the way, it will just, because all the people that will be working in your park will be British. That's right. or of some foreign background, which is not going to be like,

you don't want a bunch of, you don't want a bunch of that, what was that, the police chief from some of the, the Roger Moore movies. Oh, yeah. J.W. Yeah, yeah, you don't want some peppers.

No, you don't. Yeah, because, I mean, if you think this is set in, there will be a southern California, your basic theme park pay rate, pay grade does not do a good British accent. No, yeah. You need to,

you need to, you need to put it there, and I think it's going to be, you go to the UK now to go to the Harry Potter sets and the James Bond theme part. So we're going to put it near Pinewood is what you're saying. Yeah, maybe so.

I love it. Yeah. I love it. What that means is while they're in production, you could have special appearances. And they'll build the second park is like an MGM, but it's more of the movie version, like the behind the scenes of the James Bond. Oh, 100%. You buy a two-day pass and you could just go.

And they could just keep the sets standing. I know at Paramount, they have many of the Star Trek sets still right there. Brilliant. Ready to go. That's right here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's the best.

So that brings us to rides, specific rides. Should we just go through the films and see what we want to pull from them? You know, maybe that's the way. You know what? I made a list. Oh, wow. I have a list of rides, but... Let's go by film and then when it gets to the film,

we'll pull out our rides, ideas that we have. I mean, maybe there's not something... What does Dr. No? Well, I mean, one of my hotels, before we agree with... Oh, sorry. It was going to be one hotel. It was going to be Dr. No's underground. Ayer hotel.

It can be a restaurant. Great. Long dinner table. Yes, by the way, the restaurant is a great idea. Yeah. Goldfinger's chocolatier. I don't know why I want to make him. I'm like, I don't know why I'm like a chocolate person.

He's clearly not. But I feel like there's like a chocketeria. But I mean, in the food industry, who puts gold shit on things, chocolate tears? Yeah, yeah. But this doctor no restaurant, this is all taking place at Crab Key. So it's a seafood restaurant. It's perfect. I love it.

Redsribe beer. By the way, can I talk about the, when you go in, well, that should be in a different spot, a restaurant where you get seated. Yeah. And an empty restaurant. So you go in, I have a reservation. Oh, yeah. You get seated.

Then the table turns. and you get it, then that's when you brought it to the real restaurant. That's living like, I feel like you need, like that's a fun. I like it. Like it looks totally empty. Oh, and then, fooom. I really like it. That's your club, your club 21 or whatever.

A fillet of soul, right? Yeah. What do we call it? Club. It's fill of soul. You got to call it flay of soul. Yeah. So are there any specific food items like honey, right or chicken or doctor no fat fries?

Octopsy, like octopusy fried octopies. Yeah. No, it's just different levels of spicy wings and the lowest is octopussy. I'm going to get the octopussy wings. Say it? You have to say it. Okay, you know what? As we're talking about land, I'm, if it's in London, America should be a land.

Yeah. And I think that should be like the Golden Gate Bridge, the lay of soul. I feel like that actually, you can hit all your. Plus, Vegas, yeah. Felix Liders, Lighter Emporium, you can buy that monogram. Lighters. Oh, good. Every store, by the way, is called universal exports.

Oh, yes. That's right. Doesn't matter what they do. Or hill to brand rarities. We definitely need an Eiffel Tower to be somewhere in this park. Absolutely. Do they go to live and let die Harlem? They absolutely should.

Yeah, I think what you're doing is you're building a very small cityscape. So it's sort of like when you would look to your left, right, and center, it's three different, like, U.S. kind of lamb. Okay. Yeah. Man. Hey, Game of Thrones fans, take a deep dive into your favorite epic fantasy world with audio from the largest ever convention for G-O-T fans. Stitcher Premium now has 16 sessions from Con of Thrones. Listen to interviews with talent from the show and expert discussions touching on topics like race, gender, and possible spinoffs.

It's a must listen for all Game of Thrones fans. Just go to Stitcher Premium.com forward slash con of throne, that's C-O-N- of Thrones, and use the promo code Bond at checkout to get your free month. All right. Well, from Russia with Love, the train is the perfect idea for that. 100%. There's going to be the from Russia with Love train. And that is, I think, going around the park. Yeah, I think that's.

And they can have cars specific to other films. So you have like the live and let die cabin. You have the Specter, like, freight car. The Golden Eye Russian train. Moonraker, because doesn't he have a big fight in Moonraker with the teeth? Oh, that's Spy Who Love Me. Oh, Spy, I love me. Sorry, yes.

Is there one? There's the Casino Real love scene. Of course. I'd like to go there and do some imagining. Well, I think the thing is that you, when you get on the train, you pick your destination, and that will give you, like, four unique ride experiences. Like, we'll knock them down to four. I love it.

And that to start off. And we can, it's like star tours. Yeah. So you're going to have, like, a different experience. You'll have similarities. And if you're going to sit in the dining car and you order red wine with your fish, they will throw you out the window. Boom, you're gone. But do you get an atmosphere performer on each?

So, like, Red Grant comes in and picks a fight with you. Yeah. Vesperlin comes in and just battles with your wins. You're seeing it a lot more. You're seeing it very interactive. I'm going a little bit more in this Harry Potter thing where you are almost a spectator. Oh, sure. So you're seeing the people going by and you're in a train car and you're hearing James Bond outside. Yeah.

I come from the Knotsbury Farm world where you get raw. Like gun robbers come on and yeah. I love that too. Gun robbers. I'm open. Gun robbers. They take your guns. Hey,

stop. He took my gun. Well, I mean, the one thing that we're talking about, too, we're talking about, too,

well, I mean, there's two things I think about that. Like, that has a jet pack, right? No,

Thunderball. Thunderball. Okay. Well, then from Rushwood Love does have the catacomb boats. Yes.

I do like something like that. Yeah, there's also the the Maryland Monroe sign sign that opens up, which be a cool, like, something on the street. Oh, of course.

Yeah. If you go to Istanbul. There's got to be like a Russian, Eastern Europe section, too, because he goes, yeah. Well, that's the marketplace. Yeah. I think the marketplace is, is all, you know, Morocco. It's all, it's, you can have a, you can also put it like a sphinx there as well. Like, you know, like, let's just like, go like, relegate all the ethnic.

Yeah, like, yeah, it was just like, I mean, again. Gypsy camp, everything. We can't, we can't create as, you know, look, this is a, a, a globetrotting franchise. We have to kind of consolidate the most... James Bond has weathered racism before. Yeah. Yeah, this is we have to... I can't tell you how excited I am for all of this.

This is very exciting. Goldfinger. I think you've got to have an Aston Martin ride of some kind. I agree. And I think it's the Aston Martin DB5, racing down against a white 64 Mustang. And you're racing Tilly Masterson down the hill. I love it.

I think this is very similar to Epcot Center's test track. Agreed. Or even... cars. Yeah. You know, but it's, cars is nice

because it has the, the actual built-in, like, land. Feaming, sure. Yeah. I like that, too. But I think that,

yeah, so if we do a Cars land but make it the Alps, you get an Aston Martin, the people next year are in a Mustang, and you're racing. Here's the thing that I really

want to throw out to you both as a question of, how do we do it? Because I think we need to do it, which is you want to get ejected from that seat, right? Don't you want to feel,

I don't know how you do it, but there is something fun. And the only way I can, the only way I can see it happening is it's brand new roller coaster technology. So you're in this car, right? So think of it like this. You know those swings that you go around, right? Like where you get, it's like the most amusement parks happen. You slap in it.

Sure, you're strapping the swing and it just spins and you're lifted out by centrifugal force. Yes. Yeah. So picture like a little device like that and you, and that's inserted into a car. So like you're you're being connected by the top for the car race. And at a certain point, they can separate. So like the car goes and then you're in this seat. So you're saying that the seat really what's anchored to the post that you're spinning from is your seat.

Yes. The car body around you is what separates and launches out into the park or just. They figure it out. They figure it out. To me, it's like, you know, those rides where you're attached to the top but not the bottom. Peter Pan. Yeah, yeah, something like that, you know. So, like, your real attachment is there, but you feel like you're in this car.

So it's mimicking that kind of thing. I just want to get that, you know, again, I'm talking about new technology. You want the sensation? I mean, I don't know if we can do it. No, we'll do it. We have an R&D department. They can get on this. We got to figure out.

Paul, I think that's a great starting point for them. I think you can do it. That's like the guy who went home over Thanksgiving and then pulled out his erector set and built the ride mechanism for Soren over California. Oh, wow. Remember that guy? I do. Another thing we have to cover is that Planet Coaster, and thank you to Martin Garrow for

tipping me off to this, and then about a thousand people on Twitter, some guy did a moon raker ride that goes through the whole movie on this game, Planet Coaster. Have you watched it? It's incredible. I'm going to take a look. So check that out, too. In fact, I'll bring it up while we're talking. Well, speaking of that, I do feel like we want, I mean, I, I see.

think soaring is a great i wrote down a couple ideas for a soren like attraction i want to hear because i also have ideas okay well like all right so let me just pull up my notes i mean the soren could be a situation like star tours where you're never given the same ride twice yes you get on it you don't know what's going to be playing in front of you but what is because i go soren and back to the future are very similar as far but i think we need a flying experience right because Those are the rides that, you know, that that's where they kind of feel like they're the most at home. Yeah. But then I was thinking, well, James By doesn't have a lot.

I mean, there is flying, of course. But maybe it's underwater. Can you create that same thing of soaring? Yes. But it's an underwater kind of sub-riding because you really can't do that. Go ahead. What do you go? Paul.

Yeah. I've been thinking about this very thing. So we take Finding Nemo, that whole ride mechanism where you get your animatronics, your your video projection. Amazing. And you are going through the movie Thunderball. Love it. It's the most boring ride there is.

And it's six hours long. It takes 45 minutes. You're in line for nine hours. And somehow the line's better than the ride. Head on over to Thunderball Submarine Adventure. That's perfect. I thought maybe, you know, how Epcot has their educational rides and attractions. I thought maybe we have an educational exhibit.

about the history of time presented by Omega. All right, so Omega is definitely sponsoring. Yeah, we have our sponsors, right? Yeah, okay, Heineken Beer. Heineken Beer, of course. I want to say that the other attraction that I was thinking around the sponsorship would definitely, well, Heineken Beer is great.

The Red Stripe, of course, in Jamaica, we have to really figure out if we can get the theme, to be specific to the time periods with which these movies took place. I'm sure we can. So, for instance, if you're going to do a 90s, if you're in an area where there's a Golden Eye ride, which takes place mostly in Russia and Cuba, but there's also some Cuba in, wait, what other movie is Cuba in?

Is? Isn't Cuba in another one? Oh, in Golden Eye. Yeah. And die another day. Thank you. Yeah. So is it both of those are in Cuba?

So are we experiencing? Right. Yeah, I think so. Multiple. Oh, what did you bring up for us here? Oh, this is the Moonraker Planet Roca.

We can just put this on as we talk. I've never seen someone precariously balance a giant iPad on three glasses of empty that don't have water around. That's the kind of professionalism we're dealing with here. Just let this is like 10 minutes long. So continue our conversations that you can just enjoy it. This is amazing. They've built Venice. Yeah.

Oh, it goes everywhere in the movie. And it even has a John Barry score. Stunning. Wow. So this is a ride that someone, like, I imagine some sort of like attraction, like, program. Yeah, Planet Coaster. And you can build roller coaster. That's just a toy?

I mean, not a toy, but like, it's just a video game? I think it's a haven for obsessives. Yeah. I can't do these games because I get to... Into them? Yeah. Especially like roller coaster tycoon and stuff. I want to live in these worlds.

Let's talk about kids. We're going to have kids enjoying this theme park as well, right? Sure. So you're going to want a low speed ride that everyone can enjoy. You're talking about the little speedboat in the man with the golden gun where you just push the kid in the water? But I'd like to see that. Okay. Kids can go swimming.

You just push them into the water. So, you know, probably your most famous of these children's rides in Disney is Dumbo. Yeah. We rescind Dumbo completely. The gun is the ultimate. elephant and in our pussy galores acrobatic flying circus. Oh, yeah. That's great.

So you dump your kids in there and they have a great time. Yeah. Test track we've talked about soaring over California. I mean, I have one quick ride, the carnival ride, and I don't know where it fits. But we have to be given... In the marketplace, because like Brazilian carnival or something. Well, then perfect. I was just like, I want to make sure that you get odd jobs hats to be able to throw

at things. I feel like that's a real fun. At Carnival game? I think also, in addition to that, you get the bowler and you try to knock heads off statues, but you also get James Bond's hat and you try to hit the coat wreck. Oh, I love that.

God, this is, I mean, we're a brain trust here. This is really... I mean, it's almost, there's not enough park for us to do. This is way too distracting, man. I know, I know. I just want to watch it. I know. It's pretty cool.

That's all I want to do is watch it. So, let's see. Rick Shower. ride. Well, on that note, let me introduce you to my first concept drawing here for what I'm calling Octopussy's racially questionable tuck-tuck chase. Okay, so this is, you get in your little octopusy tuck-tuck. Oh, my gosh.

This is just something that you just did. I put a little time into this. It is amazing. I cannot wait for people to see this. The talents that Matt Goreley hides on a daily basis are more than any of us exhibit. I'll put these up on my Instagram when this episode comes out. But you're basically busting out of the poster. And then there's a little Roger Moore in the Alligator.

And you're in your tuck-tuck with your family, dodging this sawblade yo-yo and an octopus and the little jet there. I love this. And now who has to throw the money out? Are you giving the money when you get on the ride? That's a good question. Well, you have to do it at the right time where else you'll get hit by something. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Do we let our youngest child do that? How do we figure this out? Watching this makes me go, I need to see Octopussy again. Because I am... You may have just invited yourself to the Octopus episode. Oh, I would love it. It is one of the ones where I have...

It's arguably the one I probably watched the most of the child, but forgotten the most because it was like my introduction. Sure. But then, because it was on HBO all the time. Yes, all the time. But yeah, I remember the woman. it and I remember the circus, I remember the alligator, I remember, but I don't really remember much.

There's a Fabergete egg? Yes. Yes, there is. I'd be curious to see what you thought of it. Because I never went away from it. So it's always, I'm fond of it. And it's one of the ones. Yeah.

One of the ones I rewatched the most. Oh, really? Me too. Because to me, my, like, my, and I think I may have talked about this when we were doing our podcast, view to a kill was definitely the one where I was like, that's my. bond. Like that was my real like, I'm in, and that one felt like, uh, octopussy.

Like, I gotta get through this moment. I like them. And then my whole world was open and I found out that Sean Connery was in this thing. By the way, we need to salute each one of these actors. And maybe that's what happens in MI6. It's like, there is like a But I think there is, I think there is a hall of bonds.

Yeah, I think that we let you know, just like the Hall of Presidents in Disney, we let Morgan Freeman narrate for no reason. Because the presidents do their own voices for that thing. So we luckily, under the wire before Moore passed away, the plans were in. And the first thing he said is we got Roger Moore to record his monologue. Now we need you three boys to go out and record the other five bonds.

That's great. Amazing. We're going to have to get on that. Easy. Have you guys seen, and I don't know, I don't want to get too off topic, becoming bond? Yeah. I think it's great. That guy was amazing.

That guy was amazing. Quite a storyteller. Yeah. Probably full of shit. But who cares? But who cares the way he told those stories and the way they did that doc? I thought it was a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a full episode on becoming Bond later this year.

Well, you know, I also know I reached out to the two of you guys. There was also a recent Bond book that was released that was an unproduced script or an inkling of an idea of a script. Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah, a Donald West's like book that just came out, which I have yet to read, but I'm curious to read. We have also yet to read. Should we start a James Bonding Book Club? We've got nothing but time. Well, by the way, I feel like going through the books is an interesting.

I agree. I read them all. I had them all. Yeah, me too. I totally agree. It's amazing how much has not stayed with me. So it would be worth going through again. And they are interesting.

You know, like, yeah, I mean, yeah, I remember loving, I know, it was a Clive Custler book where he, like, had a fight in the Pirates of the Caribbean. Like, well, his, like, James Bond character. I thought that was so cool. Just read that section of the book when I was a kid. Like, I didn't read the rest of the book. That's cool. All right. So this tuck-tuck ride looks amazing.

Here's my second one. Okay. Let's see. Which are we going on? Now, this one is very special to me, very specific to me. Very excited, man. And that's take a ride on the Cananga balloons. Oh, Matt, you are amazing.

Oh, my God. You're such a good artist. I didn't even know this. Like, how long does something like this take you? This took probably 45 minutes because I also just throw it in the computer and color it up real quick. Like, just on this iPad. I don't even know how it did. It takes 45 minutes.

Yes. I mean, I thought for sure we need a canangub. You have a style of drawing, too. You really do. It's, I mean, thanks. So, but I mean, let's talk realistically. Are these real balloons or are this some sort of an attraction? Yeah, I didn't get that far.

This one, like, the Octopus one, clearly you see the mechanics of the roller coaster here. Yeah. Here, this is just like what Disney would do for their posters for the rides back in the days. Right, yeah. It almost was magical realism or something. In my mind, there's a world. old. Like when I die and if there's a heaven, I get to go on a cananga balloon and just Uh, canangabaloon is pretty amazing. Are you going to allow for maybe some pigeons to be doing

some double takes? I will make, I'll make a concession. Thank you. Will there be any sort of wild Venice, uh, boat ride? Yeah, I think there's a good cause for that. Because I think you have to like, you can, yeah, the moonwaker thing, but also maybe you're riding by the house that's coming down. in Casino Royale. That's right. Yeah, I think so. And that could be, yeah, it does feel like there's a Western Europe land to mine. We are adding a lot of land here.

Well, there's room for expansion. It's a problem that James Bond was such a globe trotter. That's right. Yeah, well, because, you know, again, I think if we're being smart, we have to think expansion. You have to keep some things in the pocket. We need to buy more land than we think we need. Well, 100%, but we have to roll it out because we have to get the money. I mean, I know that's not.

our job. Hand over fist, but we have to kind of like realize, well, that's a good thing for an expansion. That's a good thing here. Because we have to also appeal. And I would argue, guys, as much as this James Bond theme park is important,

we got to play to the audience of the current James Bond, too. We have, like, so far we have not talked really that much about. Daniel Craig. Yeah, the Daniel Craig. I mean, that is going to be the entry point for our millennials.

What do we do with the Skyfall Manor? I think the Skyfall Manor would be a fun, haunted man. and type place. Yes. Yes. You know, maybe there's a, I'd like to see it indoors somehow. Do you know what I mean?

Just so you could have on command fog, Scottish fog. Maybe it's a little bit like sleep no more. It's like a sleep no more like you're in a, yeah, yeah, very good. I like that. I like that. Choose which room you want to go in. Well, I, there are like these things that I really want to do that are like these, these escapes and stuff like that.

I think at the end, when you're entering, when you're entering Skyfall Manor, the lady at the front of the line asks you your name. You don't know why. She types it into a computer. And then what's his face says goodbye to you. Goodbye, Matt. Oh, he records thousands of names. Goodbye, Paul. Goodbye, Paul.

What about, I know we talked about Omega History of Time and I'm jumping around a lot, but I feel like we'd be remitimate. if we did not talk about the singers of Bond. I mean, we do need some sort of... Of course, we do. I mean, some sort of medley show that's going to give you all these... Like a song and dance kind of thing?

You know, I think, you know, to me, I feel like you want to keep the atmosphere like a James Bond opening, but it's sort of like the best... Oh, yeah. You know, it's a medley. It's every highlight from all of it. It's like a family-friendly burlesse

of the opening titles. Absolutely. But it ends with... It's Cirque de Soleil. It ends with the naval men's choir singing, nobody does it better

like they do at the end of Spy Who Love Me. And they come all out in a kick line. That's amazing. Oh, God. Oh, it'd be like the, if you've been to Vegas

lately, the Wynn has a show called Show Stoppice. Oh, I love it. I love it. It's like all your favorite Broadway hits, showstoppers. I'm bringing you guys off track

for one second, just to ask a quick question. I'm sure you've answered this to your fans. We live off track. Kingsman, where do you guys fall on Kingsman? Haven't seen it. You've not seen it? I find it really watchable visually.

It got weird for me at one point. Really? Just the ending, I think. Oh, there are some, like Mark Millar is like a pretty abrasive writer. And there's some like some dark things. But what I love about it is it feels, and at least seeing the trailer for the new one, very much reminiscent of classic bond. For that reason, it's eye candy.

Yeah. Green, tailors, like, oh, my God, where they keep all the weapons and everything? Yeah, it's pretty amazing. And this new one, there's like a gondola in it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm excited for this. And they go to these states. And I feel like, and it feels 60s, even though it's now. Yeah, I was going to watch it on a plane, but we're going to save it for this program.

Okay, got it. We've got a lot of episodes to do. Yeah, you have a lot of things. I mean, this I feel like we should be building as a two-parter because I feel like we're not even going to get to what we need to get to. I mean, we're doing it. Yeah. All right.

So what's next on the list? Well, ride-wise, I've got one more. And I think I may have even mentioned this when we decided on this episode. And I put the least amount of thought into this one. But it's the Living Daylights cello chase on ice. That's amazing. So it's kind of like a log flume. Yeah, through the Alps.

I love that. Because I had a similar idea for a log flume-esque ride. Because I think that this is the kind of thinking we need. Like, we want the thrill rides, you know. But I wanted to do one with Vue to a Kill where you are on a mine car. Oh, yes. And so you first go through, you know, you're seeing. And maybe it is even better for the only of twice although we're putting a lot in that volcano.

You're kind of like getting a tour of, you know, like the same way like the song of the South one is like, You know, you're seeing, you're seeing, like, the operation work. And then all of a sudden it starts exploding, exploding, and then you got to give you that. But can you imagine the animatronic May Day who's like, go, get out of here, get him for me. But she's doing that kind of Indiana Jones. Oh, man. Imagine it. I have it built, friend.

Now, that is the thing of all of this that we've discussed so far that I want personally as an animatronic May Day screaming at me. How do I make that happen? You know, I think that the animatronics of this world are going to be. some of the most advance you've ever seen in your life. The great movie ride, but I liked about that, back to that, was that the wizard, in the Wizard of Oz scene,

the Wicked Witch of the West, was always the most updated animatronic. She looked amazing. They would, whenever they had something new, they would try it out on her. That's why she moved the smoothest and so on and so. She had a lot of movement. She always like her wrists and her arms.

And her fingers would like elegantly move. Indiana Jones moves too much, almost as if he's like popping and locking. Like he's too rolling The Indiana Jones is Is rigid Did you Have you watched old

Have you? I mean I don't know how much of a fan you are Of theme park videos on YouTube You guys say you're both very much fan Yeah I mean I'm really relegated to the stun shows Are you familiar with the fact that the Indiana Jones ride Used to have

Falling Dry Ice as part of the Rye They used to have more fire and everything They toned the whole thing Yeah Just kept breaking Well you know they have these like I feel like again, it's where these imaginers they're not putting

they're not putting so much common sense in how much is going on. Like I went to Avatar Land in Disney World about two months ago and the ride was broken when I got there. And this is a land that has two rides

and they were both broken and then they gave us a pass to come back we came back and it was broken again. Then I opened up again and it was broken again. And again, I'm like, and now I was there with my mom, uh, who has a timeshare down there. And, uh, to me, it wasn't that big of a deal. I was very, it was, but I, like, you know, it wasn't a make or break me.

But if I, like, plan a vacation around the thing and it's not even open, like, I don't understand, like, where that goes wrong. The same thing with, like, uh, Gringotts and like Universal. Like that breaks down all the time. It feels like they got to like figure out why these rides can't do it. I mean, that's part of the famous lawsuit. between Universal and the people that built the Jaws ride originally. The original incarnation of the Jaws ride had the ending of Jaws where the shark would explode

and an air cannon would shoot up blood and all the guts and everything. And the ride only functioned, like it was only in in that incarnation for like seven months. And there was a lawsuit? I didn't know. There was a lot. They sued the company. There was this ride that I loved at Knott's Berry Farm called Wacky Soapbox Racers. And it was almost like a kid's roller coaster.

But it was thrilling and fun. And it had a bunch of those doors. doors that opened right before you get to it. And that was like there for like maybe six months and then they were gone forever, which clearly means they were not opening because they're slamming into these things. It's too, like, I don't understand where the disconnect is because theme parks have been around for a long time now. It's like, well, you know, you have to pretty much go like, this is going to be running like

a hundred times an hour. I know, but they're so technically advanced and one of a kind like an avatar. Yeah, right. That you can't mass produce. Did you see? Did you ever get to go into it? Avatar? I was in Avatar Land with rideless, and there's a person playing the drums and singing.

And we had some Avatar Ices. Oh, God. The very beautiful land that we could not do anything in. And a bunch of disgruntled people. We went literally back four times, and four times it was not open and ready. Wow. It was a real bummer. And again, I'm like, how do you make that right for the people who have become for that experience?

The knobby heads. Yeah, come on. No one has come for that experience. It's such a weird move by Disney. But you know what? I mean, yes, it is. But you come for the experience of there's something new here, so I'm going to ride it. I don't give a damn about Avatar.

But I was very excited to write those rides because I know that the newest rides are I was going to be the technological. Well, I was very fortunate to have... One's a boat ride and one's like a flying ride. I was very fortunate to have ridden Everest when it first opened when the giant Yeti animatronic, the largest animatronic ever built, was still fully operational. Is that an Epcot thing? No, it's an animal kingdom. I didn't even know it was fully.

I didn't even know there was more. It reached at the train car and did this whole thing. But what was happening was there was a stress fracture starting to go from the movement of this, you know, 20,000 pound animatronic that they were like, we either have to stop this thing from moving or the ride will collapse. Oh, my God. That's what they had to do. And like, you know the main engineer who's got all of the pirate earrings?

Yeah, yeah. He's like, he's very, like, adamant that, like, before he dies, he's going to get that Yeti back up and running. Well, any more rides before we move on to my most anticipated? Right. I mean, let's see. Moonraker, obviously, I think, is just full of space adventure rides. Yes, you need a space one.

You could do a rocket. You could do a rocket to the moon. moon situation. Yeah. You know, where you get in and you just lay back and pretend to go to the moon, like original Disneyland. Or you could go full star tours, you know, and just sort of ride around while these men have laser cannons on their backs and fire you.

That could be fun. By the way, I feel like I want to go back to your cello thing and say, let's also, I think a lot of these rides should be like your choice. Like one side is cello, one side is bobsled. So you can kind of have two, you know, like you can kind of have, or, or, you Maybe every other one is a cello bobsled, cello bobsled. Or you have some standing ones in their skis. Do you guys remember there was a ride right after the 1984 Olympics here in LA at Magic

Mountain called the Sarajevo bobsled because the Olympics were in Sarajevo. Oh, really? And they brought a ride of like free bobsleds on a like a big scooped track. Like they were actual, I think bobsledsleds that just rolled down this thing. And it seemed like really dangerous, didn't last long. Probably was dangerous. Horrible. Sarajevo-Bobs.

Let's check it out. But it sounds on par with Six Flags Safety Record. Yeah. All right. So now what are we getting into? Stunt Spectaculars. All right. So obviously we've got the one that's pre-designed in the volcano layer.

That's a no-brainer. You got a bunch of ninjas. Easy, easy, easy. A bunch of Spectre soldiers. A bunch of high falls and explosions. Sure. But what else? Oh.

What else? In the Stunt Spectacular? We are forgetting one ride. Yes. And that's the corkscrew car jump from Man with the Gold and gun, like, I feel like that's... Oh, you gotta... You gotta get in that car, and there's a slide whistle playing.

But maybe that's the stunt show. You know how they shoot the biplane over the structure and water world? Maybe there's like a pre-programmed car that can do that jump. I like that. I also want to... I do want... I know it's the most laughable part of the James Bond franchise, but I do want an invisible car ice ride.

Oh, yeah. I agree. I agree. And I did write it down, too. Well, that belongs in the house. It'd be an Aston Martin versus the Jaguarian. XJ. Yeah.

I'm sorry, X-K. But the, and I think, you know, you could have rockets going, you know, timed explosions as you're riding around it. It's going to be great. Does the stunt spectacular? The car will, by the way, flip. Then the ejector seat goes and flips it back around. Oh, that's right.

Oh, that's right. Oh, I love that. Is the stunt spectacular like the Indiana Jones stunt show in that it's kind of new, general, generic adventure, or does it tailor to one movie? To me, I feel like you want to, again, I think there's so many. many films we're talking about. I think you want to hit the highlights of a lot of different things. I think you want to create something that has a best of.

You know what I like, though, in a stunt spectacular situation? I like when you're there watching it under the guise of it's a stunt spectacular, but then something really goes wrong. And there really is a bad guy there. Oh, I love that. Quote unquote. Oh, yeah. Who's threatening to do something terrible?

You mean like a plant from the audience? That's, oh, I mean, like, a plant from the audience? or a plant from the, just coming out from, doesn't have to be from the audience, but I wanted to have the feeling of like the old Ghostbusters attraction at Universal Studios.

Oh, great one. Where you're like, oh, I'm just here to watch this Ghostbusters demonstration. Oh no, ghosts are actually real. That's right. The Ghostbusters better stop them. Yeah, that's what I would say.

Yeah, that's what I would like to see. So I mean, again, because I think one, I think one solid one solid stunt show that has water that is in a layer you kind of create a generic layer a Blofeld's your main villain and at the end you

somehow that helicopter picks up your Blofeld actor and drops them in a big pipe Yes Like the opening Of uh yeah whatever Yeah What does he say?

A Bay you a delicatessen A stainless steel delicatessen A stainless steel delicatessen But he does drop him down And there's pirate techniques rigged around the rim so he drops past him and then they shoot up. Yes, like he's exploded.

Like he's been full of gasoline. And there's a, like, maybe it's a murderer's row of henchmen where Blofeld is like gotten jaws, odd job. Oh, yeah. I love it. That's what you need. Yeah, I love it. And he battles them all.

Suicide squad, James Bond. God, so sad that this doesn't exist. I would like also a... Damn our imagination. I would like a Shanghai motorcycle chase from Tomorrow Never Dies, the greatest Pierce Brousel movie ever made. I hear some grunting from my... co-hosts because of his hatred of that movie.

But boy, those helicopter blades, like a helicopter blade rig coming at you and you're on that motorcycle? It's going to be great, man. Well, that also goes into my thing that one person a day is taken out. No, well, yeah, I mean, that would be great, but you get taken, I'd be kept by North Korea. And then you are put in a prison and you just, and you, and you're released at the end. With a big beard. Yeah, you walk across the bridge to your family at the end of the day.

Or that's like how Disney does their sword and the stone thing once a day. Yeah. The bond being released across the bridge with Korea. The sword's missing right now, guys. What is it? The sword's not there. They think it might be either some fun Disney promotion or somehow someone stole the sword handle.

Someone actually got it out. I don't know, yeah. Well, don't you step on it, right? Because they do it the live show and it comes out. It's not there right now. I mean, wow. Interesting. Well, I mean, look, I had the great experience.

experience of talking to a Marvel Janir, not an imaginary. Is that what their name? He had a different name for it, but it was something of that nature. But he's designing all the Marvel rides for all the theme part. He is a part of that team. Yeah. It was fascinating. Yeah.

And the little things that, again, I have to keep a confidentiality in what he was telling me, but the little things that they are building in to connect all the parks and all the rides. It's so, as a theme park fan, the best, because it's so thought out that it will pay off in a very big dividend for you people who want to go all around the world and see the Iron Man ride and do all this or stuff. I've talked to some similarly people in the know and it's fascinating. It's also fascinating how you have to write a story for a ride and how it works. Nowadays, yeah. You've got to get AeroSmith to do the interview. Don't want to miss the thing.

But you know what? The only, I did know one thing. With Ken Marino is the engineer. Oh, the best. The only thing that I do know is that the only actor to not give theme park rights because it was Robert Denny Jr. Oh. Because he was, once they realized how big of a hit it was, it was in every contract after that.

But he's the only one. So everyone else is required to do it. So for the benefit for the fan is that you will get, you'll get Chris Pratt. You'll get, you know, Ben and a Cumberback. You'll get Scarlet. Yeah. They have to do it. Contractually, they have to do it.

I bet you that's in every Disney contract, regardless of the movie now. Because I know, I heard this. I don't know if it's rumor or not that, you know, when you go on the Indiana Jones ride and it's John Reese Davies playing Sala in the intro that they wanted Harrison Ford. And apparently, I don't know if this is true, but he asked, I just, okay, make a donation to this charity and Disney didn't do it or something. It's actually a little, Jim Hill goes deep into detail on it. And I'm going to forget, I will forget some of it.

But basically the idea was, like, it was. down to like the launch. It was like right there. Like they got him. And it was, yes, it was like it was over money.

But I don't think it was as magnanimous as like donate to charity. I think it was like, give me this money. And then, oh, it may have been this. Again, forgive my memory.

Because I think what it was is like, and you'll come on the Disney show and you'll promote the thing. He's like, no. And then that was, the deal breaker was something was so dumb. It was like, he was like, I won't promote it. And they were like, well, then we're not going to have you do it. And it was like, but it was like, they wanted him to go on like the wonderful world of Disney, like that ABC show to like talk about it. Yeah.

No. And then he just recently did it for like the Star Wars one. But it was like, but it was like the dumbest. It was the dumbest of all decisions. That's what I remember the whole ride. It was like, the story was like, it was, it could have happened. But he was like, it was like. It just seemed like bullheadedness on both sides.

Yeah. And it's not his likeness on the, in the, no, they couldn't do it. No, it's just shy of his likeness. Yeah, and the voice isn't right. And that's always bothered. It's very bland. It's like Bill Pullman. Are they going to go back and like, are they going to go back and get Downey Jr.

to sign off on these theme park things? I mean, like the guy's a bazillionaire, so I don't know if they couldn't have it. That's why the Iron Man Ritey is always in the mask. So before we get to what we call this park, which bond actors would do it, like Conner probably wouldn't. Brasman would be first in line followed by Lazyzby. By the way, I'm very excited about the foreigner this movie with Jackie Chan

and Pierce Brosnan directed by Martin Campbell, director of Golden Eye and Casino Royale. That would be interesting. It's coming out and it looks very fine. All right, now naming this park is not as easy as you would maybe think. Oh, we were just talking about each bond getting the bonds to sign off. I feel like

I just really it's only going to be Brosnan and Laysenby, none of the other ones are going to do. Well, now if you're smart when they make Daniel Craigton this contract, that he'll get dropped in. They put in the theme park He'll have to. Good luck.

We're going to give you $150 million and you have to sign this theme park clause. We've talked about it before but Dalton in that everything or nothing documentary. He's like a madman now but in a wonderful,

brilliant way. Oh yeah. I'd love to see him do an intro to, you know, the license to kill. Well, here's my theory. I mean, this is maybe shitty for me to say,

but you're James Bond when you go into this park. So we don't need him. You don't need him. You need the ancillary players Yeah, interesting. Your M's and your money pennies. Yeah.

You know, it's like, I think that that's the fun part of, like, what you are. You're ultimately always stepping in the role of June Spahn. How many people you think come willingly in their own tuxedos? I certainly would. Yeah, like you get Disney freaks dressing up like that. Well, you know how you have the princess greetings? You should have the femme fatale greetings. So, like, at like 7 p.m. go see Holly Goodhead.

You do. I think atmosphere characters of the femme fatals and the head. inchmen and then you're... I mean, it's going to be hard to dupe them, but I think it'll be, you know, you could definitely... It'll be fun. Nick, knack.

We'll manage. All right. So naming this thing. Nicknack, bringing Tabasco throughout the park. Nicknack! Tabasco! I need to see this movie again. Yeah, what do you call this thing?

I mean, do we just go with the obvious of James Bondland? James Bond World. James Bond Land. What don't we call it? The world is not enough. I know. The world is enough. This world is a...

Licensed to thrill is a great name. I fall. I mean, we could leave this up to the listeners to just tweet at us and then announce it. Yeah. Name the park, guys. Name the park. Name the park. Yeah, I feel like it would be, you know...

How about park? Theme, park. That's great. I love it. Park. Or just universal exports and the whole outside looks like an office building until you get inside. Universal exports. I think ideally what you probably have it do is like it would be like the, you know, the world of James Bond.

Like I think that's a, you know, that would be like the catch-all title, unfortunately. That was the title of a documentary that was on the Discovery Channel when the world was not enough came out, the world of James Bond. It's available on the Blu-Ride. Live and Let Ride. Live and Let Ride is good. That's not very good. I think the audience will best all of these. Let's let the audience think about it.

A few to a thrill. Well, this is a blast to be a part of this. We did a lot of work. We did important work. We did it for free. By the way, I do believe we could come back at a later date with, you know, we can get, we can dig down in deeper. You know, you can kind of find some more things.

I agree. Well, I think what's going to happen is we're going to put this out there. They're going to start spurring their own ideas. They already are. We're going to then take those ideas and really flesh this out. Now that we have a working artist on the set. Well, you know what I would say, Matt, if you could, you know, to both of you. I'm not to say that you have to do all this work, but when this goes live, we should start to keep some sort of an Excel document.

Let's just see what it is because I would love to be able to go to, you know, like sit down here with all of you guys and go, like, here's all the rides. Here's all the merch. Here's all the food. and we can kind of go and, you know, we're opening up to our magic. And here's what I would, and here's what I would love. So I'm going to kick that down to some listener. Here's what I would absolutely love is if someone were to, just like the original, you would be handed to you, just like the original Disneyland map. Yeah.

I would like someone in that style to make the map of this world that we've just built. Yeah. And I would like us to make limited edition prints. Oh, it would be amazing. And we're going to get more than a few probably, which don't let that discourage you from doing it. We want to see them all. I definitely think we have to come back and really lock in. After the listeners have their say because I feel like, look, we want to be inclusive.

We want to be like the person that Lucas Artau's like, or Lucas Film was like, you know what? Come in and pitch me already. Oh, Rogue One. Like, you know, we want to be open to everybody. We're doing this for the fans of the park. You get a say because this thing's going to happen. I want to have a gallery opening at Jensen's gallery. Oh, we should.

It's all theme park art for James Bond that doesn't exist. Or just James Bond art. Well, Paul, thank you so much. We couldn't have done this as. Paul, thank you for returning to James Bonding. I was my pleasure. I'm a fan and I'm excited to be a part of this theme park thing. I mean, you know, it's a shame that we're all going to become filthy rich over this, you know, this development of this.

It is. Because, you know, we will grow apart simply just because our money. and our time will be, you know, spent all across the world. We could be in all different lands. That's right. Our money will be spent at our own theme park. I do want to add, too, we are going to be very inclusive in the different lands. We do want to bring in people like Epcot.

We'll give them internships. Like if you are from Austria, we'll bring in. Yes. If you're from Marrakesh, we'll bring in. That's right. Totally. You know, we want to bring that. We want to have that flavor.

I love it. We'd like the place you're from on your name tech. Yeah. And to you, the listener, the movie for next week is Goldfinger. The guest will be Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci. So do your homework. if you choose and watch along and listen along with us. It's going to be a hoot.

Bye. This has been an Earwolf production, executive produced by Scott Ackerman, Chris Bannon, and Colin Anderson. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neckamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast.

Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new, adventure to defeat the dark lord if you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point and we've got great guests like justin mackleroy i sound like a fancy college professor fake nuts rachel bloom you all see my collection of men corpses and one woman felicia day and colton done you've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species it's a bummer andy daly you have the members of genesis listed but phil collins has crossed out and then circled it cross out again uh yes

I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middle Ditch. Jesus, I mean, Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three of a Loaf from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.