James Bonding - The Living Daylights with Cole Stratton

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Cole Stratton (Pop My Culture!) joins the Matts to talk about Timothy Dalton in The Living Daylights! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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everybody the living daylights as I speak and breathe I don't know if that's the saying it's close enough I'm Matt goarly I was not given headphones for that opening segment so I had to guess I'm Matt Mara demanded headphones and joining us from the pop my culture podcast and for San Francisco Sketchfest Cole Stratton Nicole hey guys welcome I'm sorry about all the technical difficulties that Matt goarly caused whoa I am really sorry about that I had to say like breaking computers Shooters left or right, he comes in here and breaks the podcast. I feel guilty wearing these headphones, though.

I feel like I don't need these cans and they should get them at. I never use them. You never use them when you're doing your podcast? Yeah, we never, we don't use them for Super ego either. Interesting. I feel, I like, I feel guilty. I mean, it's neat. It's interesting.

We know you like headphones because you've got a backpack full of about, how many you say you have in there, eight? I brought, I brought like six headphones. And these are not earbuds. These are over the ear headphones. Yeah, sure. You got your tiny beats, okay? little beats, little beats over here.

You got some sure studio monitors, which I use when I'm guitar playing at home. I got my... Do you own any guitars, I'm not aware? I got a couple. You should put some pictures in a lot. Once or 100,000 of them. To paint the picture, you wrote up on your bicycle singing,

headphones, got some headphones. Gonna plug him into 90 guitars. And then Hannah Barberra demanded I pay them a royalty for singing. Bluntstone theme song. Yes. Great Gazoo delivered the subpoena, which is nice. Oh, you saw him? Yeah.

I thought only I could see him. It's amazing. Cole, thank you for being here. I know that you're a big fan of the Living Daylight. I am. Which is a movie that I was not a big fan of. Oh, really? Until I watched it.

Oh. I just remember not enjoying it. I like it. I'll say. I'll go on record right away. So as we like to do on this podcast when we have a guest on, we like to say, hey, where is your first James Bond experience? When, where, who?

Well, I definitely watched them when I was grown up as a kid because my dad really liked him. I'm pretty sure Goldfinger is the first one I saw because that tends to be like the introductory thing for people that's everybody's. That's like the wrath of Khan of Star Trek.

I made the mistake of Star Trek though showing my girlfriend Star Trek for first which makes no sense. But that's a very friendly Star Trek. It's funny and great, but it like plays with inside jokes based on what you know about the crew and she knew nothing about them

and was like, what is going on? And also if she were to follow up with another, she'd be like, this is not what you sold me. Right. I was promised whales and comedy and San Francisco and current day. But also, I mean, that's the third one of the trilogy. That's the many trilogy of the Star Trek movies. It goes Rathocon, search for Spock and Voyage Home. Really? Great movies. Yeah. Yeah. Two great movies. One low price. Wait. Two great movies and the search for Spock.

You got Christopher Lloyd in there. So Goldfinger is your first one. Do you then seek it out? Do you go, Hey, look at this view to a kill movie in theaters. I should go see this. Well, that came out in 87, which I always make the argument that 1987 is one of the greatest years for movies. If you'd, like, just look back at everything that's released that year. Was it 87 Robocop year? Wait a minute. What do you say?

View to Kill came out in 87? No, this one did. Yeah, living gaylights. Sorry, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So already it was like a great year for movies because you had like broadcast news and last time for three men. Oh, you're thinking really great movies. The Intouchables?

The Intouchables. Yeah, that was that year. Three Migos, Princess Brides. Guys, I need to find out if Robocop came out. Because if RoboCop came in an 87... I think it's earlier than that. No, Robocop is either 87 or 88, yeah. What?

It's a great year for movies to begin with. And I definitely saw it in the theater, Living Daylights. So I feel like it's the first one I saw in the theater. Hmm. So there's that. Really? 1987, Robocop. There you go.

You're sound. 87. Just look up 87 for movies, people who are listening to this. You know what it was? The cocaine. From 87? Yeah. The 1987 cut of cocaine was...

You were a big child cocaine addict. Yeah, it was huge in the cocaine. Weirdly, a husky kid still. But I love the white stuff. So Vue do Kill was 85. 75, yeah. Which was back to the future. Another great year.

Guys, the 80s were a good year. That was my summer, man. I must have seen Vue to kill a bunch of times. I can't give you a number. I just look at you. Special time. So Vue to Kill comes out, 85. which is Roger Moore's last movie.

He's 56 years old. Right. Or 57. He was 45 when he started in 73, so that makes him... What were we talking about? 86. What did you say it was? 85?

85. So, yeah, so he's 57. 57 years old. Did he, like, want to quit, like, in the late 70s, like, after a moonranking? Four Your Eyes Only was originally going to be his last one, and that's why they screen tested... James Brolin and Sam Neal for Octopussy, which if you watch those, there's something to behold.

Yeah, I'm sure. Sam Neal, I thought would have been a very good James Bond. He's a little boring to me. Dr. Grant. I don't know. Why do you find him boring? I think he's great. You know who's boring? Timothy Dalton.

Oh, I like Timothy Dalton. I like Timothy Dalton. I think he's good. He cares. This is very interesting, and we'll get into it in a minute. But, so you, did you go see Lysolvin? to kill the theater as well? I did.

Okay. I think I saw all the ones after that. But that kind of started with my like, oh yeah, you go to James Bond movies. They're great, mostly. Even tomorrow never dies. You went to that one.

I went to all of them. It's the only one I've not seen in the theater since, Octopussy. Yeah. And I made the right choice. I disagree. It's like going to pee during a movie in a scene that doesn't matter, you know?

I feel like all of them at least have sequences that are entertaining. I always just kind of looked at it that way. Isn't it crazy how that one is the only one that doesn't? I disagree with it. I'm just getting tired. Just pushing your buttons, Cokehead. Coke Kid.

CoKid. Disney's Coke Kid. Yay, guys, I got a great idea. What if we kick the girls out of our clubhouse? Oh, Jesus. It's Gilbert Gottfried playing a CG character of Coke Kid. Oh, Coke Kid. However, the sequel, Disney's heroin tykes did not go nearly as well.

I am into that. You know, it only costs $5 million to make. Yeah. Made $7 million overseas. Great overseas. Did you see this in the theater? I did not see the theater. I saw license to kill in the theater.

Here's what you have to remember about Lil Mait Myra. Yeah. In 1987, I was four. I see. And you were fighting in the Nick Rogan Civil War? No, I was way into Coke. Oh, right? Well, that's why I asked.

Listen, let me tell you something. This was at the height of my bond fervor. When Timothy Dalton was announced, they did all these, like, you know, as they do press stuff and there are all these magazine articles. And I still have these like newspaper clippings and magazine things from Premiere magazine that I found the other day. And I went to see this thing and I was so big into James Bond at this point.

This movie, I don't, I didn't remember it fondly. When's the last time you'd seen it before this? The first DVD release. Seriously. Yeah. What about you, Cole? I've seen it quite a few times. I just rewatched it before this just to like get kind of put it fresh in my brain.

But I watched it a couple of years ago again. and I think I've seen it every couple of years since that I enjoy it. This is one of those ones that I saw for the 4K restorations. And then I saw it another time recently. So it's real fresh in my mind. I got to tell you, I really liked it. Yeah. Yeah, I really liked it.

It's good. I mean, we'll get to the end. That's my only issue with this movie. Which ending? Exactly. Which ending and which bad guy? Yeah, it does do that a lot. Once it gets to the desert, and I'm kind of like, eh.

All right, so this is Timothy Dalton's first outrun is James Bond, first of two. We're seeing 50% of his body of work is James Bond here. And promising start out the gate. Great opening sequence. Yeah, love it. Love it. They go to the island.

Jabraltar. Already, they're doing the thing that James Bond does great, which is you're in M's office. You're thinking, oh, we're in M's office. And then all of a sudden, he's in the back of a plane. That's a co-kit again. Well, you know, the opening sequence combines everyone's love of training sequences is in paintball. You know, I do, I love, I love seeing a training sequence now on the other side of it.

You know what I mean? Because we saw the training sequence in from Russia with love of how the Russians train. Oh, yeah. How the other have trains. Which is with real bullets. Right. And then we see how the Brits train with pink paintballs. Out on there. You're dead.

And they're not even so much paint. They're like powder. It was, yeah, it was a strange thing. Yeah. So M, for some reason, is very proud that the double O section has been chosen to train. And by the way, two of those double O's are for shit. Yeah, that's not very good. First guy is just a buffoon.

Get stuck in the trees. The first guy does get stuck in a tree. And he's hired for his comedic face, too. His reactions are very Monty Python of, well, he might as well be wiping pie from his eyes, you know. 004 is the one that gets killed by having the rope cut while he's climbing. Right. I feel like he spends too much time requesting that he doesn't have the rope cut instead of grabbing onto the clearly grabable rock.

There is that. That's very true. It's like, no, please, no. He could have done this. At what point does MI6 train you not to appeal to the spy's better nature, like to actually protect yourself? There is a moment of like, come on, old man. No, come on, hello. That's not sporting.

And then he sends down the toe tag, which says, The, what does it say again? Smertz Spionnes. That's from the novels. That's from Casino Real, I think. And this is the last one to be actually based on a Fleming short story. That's right. And if you want a good entry-level Fleming thing, read the short story.

It's basically the sniper segment at the beginning of this movie. That's kind of straight from the Living Daylight short story. It's a goody. God, that line, too. Get in there. Which line? What's the scared of the Living Daylight? Oh, yeah.

Come on. I only kill professionals. Yeah, which is not true. No. I've seen him kill many an amateur. Yeah. That was just Timothy Dalton speaking. So James Bond is on this training mission, and he watches a couple double-Os bite the dust.

Then, of course, he has a crazy scene where the car should have crashed 30,000 times. A million times. Like, there's no way that stays on the narrows of Gibraltar. Ah, but it's fun to watch. The narrows, plus the windshield, it's completely covered with paint. Yeah, of course. Well, from the time that guy tried to stop that truck with the paintball. And, of course, the truck is full of explosives like the off and our military bases.

Well, it says clearly written on the back, explosive. Right. I was surprised to see speed ramping in this still, that they were under cranking the camera at times. I feel like that's such a 60s Connery-era bond thing, but they're still creeping in. There's times when he was on top of the thing, and it would be in fast motion. Right. Also, this tiny island of Gibraltar seems like it has a lovely tourist attraction. Yeah.

Like, there's like a group just sitting there eating. a lot of people getting out of the way. I have heard that if you go there, that the monkeys are really, really a problem. They will arrest you and beat you. Oh, I did. I was watching that thinking, how we get it. I wonder if those were like happy accidents.

Monkeys in the shot again. Just go with it. Probably. So then he sends the explosive Jeep off of the... off the... Side of the rock. Side of the rock. Once again.

Cliff, is that the word you're looking for? I don't know. I was going to call it a... mountain, but it's not really a mountain. Anyway, don't worry about it. The point is James Bond escapes only to land on a yacht with a beautiful lady. Who are you?

Who is how do we say this about her? She's bored with all the men? Yeah, it's just tennis pros. She's bored with the good life. I want to meet a meal, man. Margot. So here's what happens. She's chatting with Margo.

She's chatting with Margo. Hang on, I've got to go back a little bit further. here, make this resize this. So, chat with Margo. James Bond has just witnessed a plot where two O-O agents have been murdered. Right. So his instinct, listen to the,

I don't know, you can't even say a, like, there's no urgency in his voice whatsoever when he finally lands on the, uh, now I'm going to play this here and, uh, oh, and I won't be able to hear it because I wasn't given headphones. I see, huh? You're going to hear it.

Oh, there we go. Well, these are just too warm. I need the end out of the there. Guys, a lot of technical issues happening on this James Bond podcast. You should see what the table looks like. You really don't. But playboys and tennis pros. If only I could find a real man.

We need a real man. Of course. James Bond shows up. Slip down. I need to use your phone. Should call you back. It's huge Who are you?

Here he goes. Here James Bond is calling in the fact that two O.O. agents have been killed in a training exercised by some evil man with some crazy plot. Bond. Exercise Control, 007 here. I'll report in an hour. Won't you join me?

Better make that two. Make that too. Look, they're dead. They're not coming back. You're right. He's got to get to some humping. He took care of the guy. is like, it's going to take me an hour to fuck this girl.

Right. And, uh... And no, it's going to take two hours. No. I think he's saying it'll take him an hour to get there. I think he's giving himself an hour of sexy time. You're right. Okay.

Then we jump into the, uh, credit sequence featuring, uh, the band of the moment. Band of the last moment. It wasn't even of this time. I mean, their big hit, Take on Me was in the early mid-80s. Yeah. So I remember when this, when they announced this band, Even thinking like, that, that doesn't seem like good. Well, this, what I like this song.

Is this song is also on one of their albums, their version is on their second album, stay on these roads. It doesn't have the strings, really. It just got like keyboard or whatever. And Morton Hartett, like the lead singer, Vaha said that like, well, you know, I like our version better, the one that's on our album. But, you know, John Barry did some great things, like made it more bond. It's like, you idiots.

Yeah, they didn't notoriously didn't get along. Yeah. John Barry How do you not get along with John Barry? He seems lovely. Doesn't he? Really? Not at all.

Like a cranky man. This is his last film. We should celebrate him right now. Let's celebrate. Last Bond film. Yeah. But before we get to that, though, Dalton's delivery of Bond James Bond,

the iconic line, if I remember correctly, I read somewhere where he was like, I'm going to underplay it. But he underplays it so much so that it feels noticeable. Well, it's actually right here. It's almost, yeah. Bon James.

Guys, don't worry, I'm just going to scoot this over. He does it right when he lands on the plane. She says, who are you? It's so tossed away. It's almost, it's really tossed away. It's almost weird. I need to use your phone. She'll call you back.

Who are you? Bond, James Bond. You know what I mean? It's a little too like the lady down protest. Well, he's in the middle of, like, handling this phone that probably has those. Remember those battery packs that looked like it was just three AA batteries? The cell phone wrap to us. And either, she's been yapping with Margo for an hour.

But it's the only time when I don't really believe his performance, because I think he's a really good actor. And look at him. He looks good. His hair's not quite as thin as it is in License to Kill. He just looks good. He looks like a bond to me. And yet this one was almost Pierce Brosnan.

Yeah, that's right. Because they had, like, signed him to it, and then Remington Steel folks heard of that, and then ordered morepses of that, and then the bond camp was like, no. And they did it on the last day. The last possible day. So that screwed him out of that deal.

I wonder how I would have felt about it. If I got him a little earlier. You would have some newspaper clippins? I don't, yeah, good question. I wonder. Of course you would have. Well, yeah, I would have. Of course you would have.

You would look back on it much more fondly than you do now. What do you guys think of this aha song, though? Don't like it. No? I love it. I love the Barry version for sure, because those Bap,

bop, bop, bum, bum. Yeah, that's great. I think it's like Barry touches

that make the song. The song is catchy enough, but that's what makes it really feel like a bond song and it's great. And that hornblasts

is straight out of diamonds or forever. Bapap, bum, bum, don't do. Diamonds are for, yeah,

it's the same kind of, oh, it's so good. So the... But this is his most synthi score. Well, I think he's just

trying to go with the time. Yeah, sure. There's lots of, like, little beats drop behind it and stuff. Yeah, let's hear a little bit of this thing,

shall we? Dummy. Come up our thing. I love how she floats away. Like, this is like, I feel like this is Maurice Bender going like, I don't know anymore. I feel like he's like,

we have the Y for 90 minutes. As many shots as the can in the pool. Cubby said he takes care of the door. I don't know anymore. Just get in here and get out. But yeah, it's very, it's not my favorite title sequence. Was AHA bigger in Europe at the time? I think they had quite a, they had a string of it's in the UK.

More life there. But this, you know, also, you know what I don't like it means in particular this title sequence? The fact that you can so, I don't want to so clearly see these people in faces. Yeah, these are very clear. I prefer the silhouetteiness of it all. Yeah. I mean, I like when the title first pops up, and it's got the extreme close-up of the woman's face

and the old, like, school lettering in front. I like that, but... Yeah, so we jump in to... Where is this in Russia? Bratislavia? Oh. Yeah. One of the Slovies.

Gros no javasnia. Where James is meeting the guy who wins the British off in this movie. Saunders. Saunders. Saunders. Is Saunders a double-O? No. Oh, because isn't that why he's just so by the book and stuffy?

And he's like a... Article 25. He's kind of a bureaucrat or something. He's a tool. Yeah, he's a total tool. I'm going to just play this with no sound for a little bit while it catches up to us. So, okay, so James is supposed to assassinate. There's a defector, German, not German, a Russian defector from Russian military KGB.

He's going to defect over to the other side, and everyone's excited about it. The guy requests James Bond is his protection. There's going to be a sniper, and we see that the sniper is a pretty hot cello player named Marion Diabo. He was the first cousin of Olivia Diabo. Who was the sister on Wonder Years. Look at how the three of us did that just now. Teamwork. Round Robin stream of conscious cast.

She also in the episode True Q of Season 6 of Star Trek the next generation, she played. Wake up, Matt. Sorry, I started talking about the shirt trigger. Yeah. Cocaine was. Do you remember how they made such a big deal between Roger Moore and this because of the rise of AIDS and everything

that Bond was going to be monogamous in this? Although you can argue he gets down with Margot's friend there on the boat. Right. Once he meets Miriam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was a big deal. In fact... That was a very... I thought, well, even watching that, it sticks out.

Yeah. It sticks out as like a... He's doing a... weird angle right here. This whole movie, it looks like James Bond is in the friend zone and he knows it. And he is secretly in love with his best friend, the cello player. He kind of plays it cool. Yeah, and like the whole like... Yeah, that is interesting. I thought it was weird when he hands are a mixtape. There's a scene when he talks to Moneypenny, and I just caught this today for the first time where he swats her on the ass, but they don't show it. You just hear it. And I

never caught that before. And it's their way to keep it less sex. but still horribly sexist. I'm just going to play a scene for for Matt and Cole and if you guys at home are following along at all. They, uh, you don't even need, you don't even need sound for this really. Just, I just watch, watch James Bond, watch Timothy Dalton's performance in this scene. Now, here's the deal. Here's what I'm reading into this. All right. He wants to nail her so bad, but she's into the general.

And he's trying to be the best friend who's like, oh, yeah, He's kind of a drag, right? Your boyfriend's not good to you. Look at this right here. This is totally like guy in the friend zone pointing at things. Like, just like, let's get into carriage. It'll be so much fun. We're friends.

And she gets all excited and he lights up. He flutters. He flutters. She's like, I can't wait to suck that Russian generals dick. I think that's what she's saying. Pretty much. I think that's what she's saying. See?

This is, his whole performance is informed by this, I think. He's going to show up with those handwritten white cards. like the guy in love actual and try to... To me, you're perfect. And then he's going to walk away. Andrew Lincoln is that guy. That's right.

Yeah, who's in the walking dead, everybody. So that's my thought on that. I think if you watch the movie with that sort of take on it, you'll have a lot of fun. Not only does he slow play the entire relationship with her like, she doesn't die. Like, that's, you know, often the bond girls...

That's right. There's no second level... There is no girl that dies in this movie. Yeah. We don't know what happens to the girl on the boat. He probably takes a puffer fish and puts it down her throat So let's just hear a little bit of our most British man In this movie I love this guy and I love how their relationship

And I love that they get scolded by a couple in the box next door Saunders head of section Vienna You're bloody late This is a mission, not a fancy dress ball We have time It's in their contract They can't wear tuxedos in any of the movies. In the BGB minders.

In whenever you play James Bond. What? It's in your contract. You can do other movies, but you cannot wear a tuxedo in another movie. Seriously? Yes. That's why Pierce Bronson never did tuxedo junction.

I know. Everyone's like, Tuxedotod's going to be huge. Pierce Brasne. So that's if you notice, even so think about like watching like the Thomas Crown affair. He never has a tuxedo on because he can't. That's crazy.

Even though they're at some black time formulas, though. So Jackie Chan will never play James Bond. That's right, because he wore a tuxedo in the movie. The tuxedo. Rumble in the Bronx. And a penguin will never be cast as James Bond. So, okay, so they set it up. Bond gets a giant Walther sniper, right?

It's huge. It's got some silver rods on it that can't be used for anything. I think it's all the sted. I like that he puts on his competition glove. Yeah. It's like those archery sets from the, Olympics in the 1980s. So her name in the movie, I forget her name already.

Karamilovie. Correct. Gros no javas. This guy, where is this guy from? Jeru and Krabbe? He's great. He's amazing. I've seen him all over the place, and I really enjoyed him in this movie.

Yeah, he had one other big film. He's not in out of Africa. He was in the fugitive. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I love that he flushes the toilet and then goes straight out the window. after like walk right when he walked in it like because that's what everybody does

maybe he's spit maybe that's what's happening he's doing that thing where he's he's playing it so big but just small enough to be still be believable like he's as far as you can go in a James Bond movie I think and he does it well yeah so she

so her plan she's supposed to be doing what exactly she's supposed to oh she is being told by him to shoot at him but she knows she has blanks yeah So she's even bothering to aim, which I enjoy. But at this point, for the viewer... We don't know what's happened. You think that she's trying to assassinate him because he's trying to defect and she's been sent by the KGB or whatever.

How come this guy's not already at the door? He's running down and getting his keys as Yorgie is knocking. Okay, so James then takes over this whole thing of getting him across into... into where are they going to go to Austria, right? No. West Germany, probably. By the way, guys, you should count how many times that boobs are used as a diversion in this movie

because it's a lot. Well, there's the big... It's at least twice. There's a scene around in the pipeline when they try to ship them through the pipes and so the lady goes to distract her boss. I saw this movie when I was very young. I feel like this then informed my sexual desire

for the rest of my life. You're into big Russian women? Yeah, apparently. Oh. You know, I like a, I like a chesty woman who can run a pipeline. Who doesn't? God, if I had a dime. And all the guys that her boss or whatever, that she literally just buries his head in her boobs.

And all he does is go like, oh. But as a kid, you don't question it. You're like, that's sex where you just do this in a woman's boots. And that's what it is. That's fine enough. Yeah, sure. So there's some real, you know, spy stuff happening here. They crouched under a window

Yeah, to get by the supervisor. They end up in, I do like this exchange here. He's very, I think this is exactly what you're talking about him, like playing it to the edge of it being too comical, but just pulling it back. This one's been specially designed to carry a man. High blind. You mean our pipeline?

Great Soviet achievement. Piping natural gas into Western Europe. Because you know he's also acting as a character. That's the other part. Right, yeah, yeah. So it's a layered. Never mind cake. If you open Val before 100, he will be forced.

Fakes, bossed cake. There must be another way. I think he's scary. Put on the mask. And breathe normally. Now talk. Relax your heat. Also, you'll notice there's a shot with his pipes outside, and it's got like a 45-degree turn.

I did notice that. Never happened. I also love that who knows how long this little pipeline trip really lasts. But the second they land, they like yank him up and, like, throw him up the stairs and he's just able to go. I think I would be like, can I have a second? Steady myself. What are you doing?

So here she goes. She's going to go distract. Oh, this is amazing. She is sexy, though. Man. Look at that. Look that one. The old hair up, hair down trick.

That's the signal for it. I'm ready to make. I do like when she says what kind of girl do you pick? Yeah, it was nice. Good touch. Unless she doesn't even tape around it. She just ends it abruptly. So, we see Desmond Lewellyn pop up in his 16th movie, I think?

Yeah. Good Lord. Put him in a jet, they'd get him on a Harrier, to get him out of there. And that was a big deal at the time, too. In the 80s, Harriers were big news. Harriers, I think, are still fucking awesome. Yeah, they can take off vertically. They're a jet that can just take it.

It doesn't need a runway. Is this the first movie that kind of uses one? Bonds are always good at that sort of thing. Almost too good sometimes. Like they were the first to ever have an inflatable avalanche-proof parka, right? And then those are everywhere now. Yeah, yeah, everyone has. Yeah.

And also because this is late 80s and not quite 90s and 2000 bonds yet, like the inventions are still like slightly probable. It's not invisible cars, not yet. So, like, they really had to take a Harrier jet to get out of there, you know. This movie gets good with those. The gadgets, I think, are really good. They're pretty nice. I love the milk grenades.

The, uh, the, um, the, the whistling, the Phillips, this was a new device at the time. That was hugely topical. This was a Phillips, this is a key chain that used to sell, and they probably still sell versions of it at like Brookstone, but it's probably on that Bluetooth with your phone or something. But it was something for finding your keys, which was a big problem in the 80s because we loved Coke. So sometimes it'd be in a pile of. of coke. Your keys would often be in a pile

of coke. Yeah, because they were used for cocaine. And everybody would just come in the door and just throw their keys. Yeah, into the pile of cocaine. Right.

But you would whistle and a certain whistle and then your keys would then beep at you. Yeah. So this takes a gadget and turns it into a gadget. Oh my God.

Which is what I like when they do that. Yeah. I'm more into that. I'm more into like, I would be more into like a like a Sono speaker system that also did something.

Do you know what I mean? Like a gadget that does something else. Not like explosive toothpaste. Right. You know what I mean? It's this gadget on gadget violence. I love gas and a gadget violence. So let's, so we see

the universal exports outside I guess they're in wherever they are. Eastern Europe. This is also where he enjoys a cigarette for quite a while. Yeah, it's a long cigarette. That's right. Yeah, so. Well, James, she's

just your time. Here's the new money, Penny. Yeah, I got a thing for her. Oh, yeah? She's got a thing for Barry Manlo. I know, that's a strange choice. They're trying to make her so square. Yeah.

All right. Play it her, though. Come on. You know, we could try freelancers stationed outside the Soviet block. It'll have to wait. I think he, I think Desmond Lewellyn actually memorized that line because he looked like he wasn't reading. Which is a rare, rare treat for Desmond Loewan. I'm improvise.

Yeah. So the, okay, so we're back at Q Branch. Bond has sent the guy, the guy's gone in the Harrier Jet. We have now, Bond wants to know more

about this cellist assassin. And also in this little invention exchange, we get the like little dig at America with the ghetto blaster. Yeah. Oh my God.

And also, the music that plays out of the ghetto master is, is the most 80s music that you will ever hear. I believe it's not another rendition of that pretender song. I know it's all the hitman will listen to.

Neck gross. What 80s is it's like everyone. And by the way, this, this gadget appears in Beverly Hills, Cop 3. Something we're making for the Americans. When he has the boombox that also has the rocket launcher on it and the machine gun and the microwave. music, you're basically saying no one will notice if you walk around blasting Joe Satriani. Shoot a missile somebody. I had a Joe Satriani's new album.

I had a Satriani album. Did you? In high school, yeah. Surfing with the blue. Yeah, I had the surfing with the alien one. Yeah. Oh, my God. This plot is kind of reminds me of from Russia with love and that it's just kind of unfolds over time.

It's pretty generally, really realistic. It's not too crazy. I like... There's... It gets a little confusing towards the end, but... Yes, that is... There's one too many layers to this.

Joe Don Baker. Yeah, don't need them. Who in the opening title sequence had to have it say Joe Don Baker as Whitaker? It's the only one that says that. Yeah, well, Joe Don Baker was in the zone at this point in his career.

Is it because he got an and credit? That's usually what they did. It's not even an and. It's like the third credit. It's like... It's a Timothy Dahl and Mirri and Diablo. And then it says Joe Don Baker as Whitaker than like Art Malick and...

Wow. Probably like preparing everyone for when he was weighed and Tomorrow Never Dies and GoldenEye. He's also supposed to be completely humorless because there's that movie Mitchell that he's in that Mr. Science Theater 3000 did and like they always say that like he hates it like he thinks they're jerks for making fun of it

and this whole thing. Really? Really mad about it, yeah. I'm not the hugest Joe Don Baker fan. You don't like the JDB? I don't love him because he kind of, His presence in the Bond films has never been, that's never helped the films in my eyes.

So let's watch, he pulls up to M's estate, which has gotten bigger since, on Her Majesty's Secret Service. It's not Emsa State. It's called the Bladen House. It's their, like, MI6 Safe House. They briefly mention that. Look at that Aston Martin, though.

Oh, that's a good-looking one. It is a good-looking. All right. Now, this guy who plays Necros, I like this guy a lot. I think he's the next best to Red Grant in the long line of blonde. towards an henchman.

So that rake just detects milk. Milk. It's a milk detecting rake. But that's a gadget that does something, guys. It's a rake that is also a milk detector. So in the safe house, no one can have guns. Something I loved in this movie was watching the other MI6 guy beat up the henchman for so long. Yeah, he did pretty good for himself.

Like, that is a lengthy fight. Do you notice, too, that Necros pulls up to the gate in the little milk wagon? And then he's like, who are you? The other guy had the flu. All right, let me frisk you. But don't even bother to look in the milk wagon. Like, he could have a thermonuclear device of that thing. I thought that was interesting, too.

Like, they didn't even look in the, uh, they didn't even bother. They were like, as long as you're not carrying a gun. And I like that his first thing to attack with his headphones, headphone cord. Playing the pretend. By the way, I thought, always. I thought that the parrot was going to come back into play. Oh, yeah. Like the parrot was going to say...

Or do a double-take. Well, John Glenn... This guy's great. Yeah. He's really good. Yeah, this is a good fight. Like, you're like, oh, this guy's going to get killed immediately, but no. Boom!

Oh, let me show you a little continuity thing here, too. Watch when he throws the big pot water. Of course, he's got to try to carbon up the perfect car. Again. Very 80s device. Yeah. Yeah, the second you see somebody used... You're like, well, that's going to come into play.

Oh, and then he grills his piece. Yeah, but he keeps fighting. Yeah, this guy's good. This guy was originally going to be Sean Connery. This reminds me of the never-say-never fight in the clinic. So watch. When he throws the panes right up. Okay.

It lands in the counter? Yeah. And gone. Whoa. Whoa. It's one of those special fans. Guys, you just all heard a visual continuityer. There you go.

That pot just got Kaiser Associated. Podcast first. Visual continuity. I too thought the pair was going to come back because one of John Glenn's things is like there's always birds in his movies. Oh, yeah, they sure are. Like pigeon double-tech.

There's a pigeon in four of the five movies he did where they like freaks bond out. Yep. And then again, in this one, the bird, there's dubs on me on at Jodon Baker's house. Yep. Oh, right. John Baker's character in this movie.

Might be a bit of a buffoon. Just the name, Brad Whitaker. I don't know. There's something, something doesn't work. I shouldn't say I don't like the man. His roles in the movie are not so engaging. If anything, this is definitely one of the most, like, Americans are stupid movies. Because even Felix Lider, like, that's John Terry in this.

He's like, like, like, Christian Shepherd on Lost, Jack's Dad. That's right. But they make him, like, a total playboyish kind of, like, dofy dude in this. one. I'm like, it's Jeff you're right now, very different. I know, might as well be Jack Tripper. Right. About that, like, what? And then they bring back, what's his face to play Felix in the next movie?

Oh, yeah. David Hedison. Yeah, David Edison plays Felix lighter in two movies. He plays them in Living Let, and Yeah, Living Let Die and License to Kill. Yeah. Which are 25 years apart, something like that. Yeah. 25, 27, 26.

Yeah. No. 16 years apart. Oh, you're right. But still, there's been a few lighters in between. But there's also been a James Bond between the two.

You know what I mean? Roger Moore had gone and then Timothy Dalton's here. So now you're bringing him this back this Felix later. Instead of just bringing the guy back from the previous movie, what I had forgotten watching

license to kill was that you established Felix Leiter in this movie in Timothy Dalton's James Bond's world. And for what reason? I did read that they thought that that would tie you to the character more because it had more familiarity, but you think the more recent one would have the most familiarity.

But the part's so small. The Felix doesn't do much in this movie. He's got like two scenes. He doesn't do a ton. I feel like they always feel like if they can replace that character because the first thing Bonn always does is go, oh, Felix. Yeah, right. My old chum, there's always that. Oh, that's who that is now.

Okay. Felix, you old dog. Felix Lighter, you old exposition. The only American. that I like. By the way, when I was watching this earlier, so there's this guy.

So, okay, so James Bond, they track down the cellist. She's at the conservatory in, I'll just say Brussels. It's not Brussels, but I'm just going for it.

So he tracks her down there, finds out her address, gets on the bus with her. She gets taken off the bus by John Reese Davies, Salah. Pandates. Yeah.

They're digging in the wrong spot. I am the mon. up the sea. So, Jari's Davis takes her off the thing. He grabs her cello and then goes to the bathroom to open the cello case.

Which looks like some kind of Johnny 5 droid or something. But there's this guy that's sweeping in the bathroom that makes eyes of Bond and is real, really overly suspicious of a man with a cello.

Right. Now, I don't know about you guys, but if I see a guy with a cello, I assume it's just a guy with a cello. Right. Well, that's where you're wrong. So he gets real suspicious, so much so, this sweeping guy, he checks through, he sees the gun.

And then, like, the next scene is outside of her apartment. And there's another guy sweeping. And in my brain, I'm like, is this a network of sweeper spies? Sweeper's self. Sweeper cell. So he sees their blanks in the bully. This is all, this is James Bond very much being James Bond, the detective. Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, there's definitely a lot of. that. There is. Oh, I've never noticed. There's a lot of Bond disobeying orders in this particular film.

Bond does, Bond rarely obeys orders. True. I've never really seen him go, oh, this is my mission. Okay, I'm going to go do it. Roger Moore, he was the most

tow-of-the-line bond, I think. Company man. Because he respected authority. Yeah, sure, he's a company man. Because he could compete a lot of times for the British off. He was also in the match. Yeah.

He never won. But he was in the match. Grand master. So we go to here. James Bond finds the girl, tells her that he's a friend of the general and was asked to come get her, playing sort of up that I'm a, hey, I'm a friend of the friend.

Which again, friend zone. He's trying to get out of the friend zone. Starting now. He wants it bad. Guys, he doesn't care. Yeah. It's 1987. He'll have unprotected sex with her.

He doesn't care. As long as it's monogamous. As long as it's monogamous, I'm protected sex. So we see the winterized Aston Martin, which is one of Matt Gourley's favorite cars. I like the older Aston Martin's, but not as much. Like, I like this one in the Honor Majesty Secret Service one the best. This one's pretty sweet.

They tune the radio. They get some sweet KGB frequencies. He's had enough of her already. But this one, so they're winterizing it, which means apparently skis. So they have an outrigger component to this for some reason. But it's not like it, I don't fully understand that because it doesn't lift it off the ground. No, also what I really, the thing I, first of all, this situation.

Ah, the laser. Yeah, this is where the movie gets a little comical because the hole in the ice too. But yeah, the hole in the ice. So the Astin Martin loses the tire. Okay. And then it's just rim on ice. So then he uses the Asin Martin to cut a circle, just like Tweedy Bird would cut underneath Sylvester. Right.

A perfect cartoon circle that will then just fall. Yeah. So, okay, I'm done. And then look at how thick the ice is. There's no way. The ice is a foot thick. Well, it would have to be to hold all those cars and tanks and stuff driving on it, yet one rim will cut the entire hole. So he cuts it.

They've had quite a come-up and so, I'm going to get out. Outrigger. Let's see. Oh, it does lift it. No, it just lifts. It lifts it enough that the, that rim is off the ground. And by the way, it's like this whole time he's trying to play her like a fool by being like, oh, I just added some customizable elements.

Because it's not so, it's not so way later that he reveals her who he is and that whole thing. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, good point. He's just a dude who bought a. great car that has rockets and an outrigger and lasers. You shot a rocket at a semi-truck and she doesn't blanche. Okay, so here's the introduction of Whitaker. Oh, God.

This is, also they've already done this. A lot of money for one of these Joe Don Baker statues that look like great military leaders. And nothing like him. So right now, John Ries Davis is looking down the hallway. You're just seeing Caesar, Genghis Khan, Hitler, Napoleon, Caesar again. Not even close to seeming like it's not a real person. Right?

And of course he's got the military uniform with his cap tucked underneath the little... Oh, yeah. I always had a little problem buying John Reese Davies as a Russian because I was so used to him as Sala. Yeah, for some reason. He's so British.

I didn't even know he was British, though. The Brits are good at accents. Yeah. guys except for American accents. That's where they almost always go Southern with it. Someone please let David Tennant know. You should just use his regular voice.

In what? He's in the American remake of his show Broadchurch as the same character that just happens to be American now. Interesting. Wow. Nice. It's not just on Fox. It's on Fox. It's on Fox, guys. I think you should all watch it. But they do their

real thing like, yeah, America. Really hit our, really. Wait, is that the, is that great point? Is that the remake? Yes. All right. Amosay it. You want to have some tea and maybe go over to Big Ben or something.

If you ever around Jordan Morris, have him do his version of a British guy talking American. He just does a really great Liam Neeson. Because Liam Neeson never has an accent that's remotely close to what he wants to sit. It's like Conner. Yeah, so I really do like the setup here. So we see this is Joe Don Baker, the arms dealer. And it's crazy a war room. Yeah, he's a psychopath.

I do think it's pretty cool, though. He replays battles for fun, but then plays them like he would do them. So he's got like a waterloo little set and stuff. But the crazy thing is I don't doubt that there are people exactly like this. Oh, I'm sure. Matt Myra. I'm not like this. I don't really.

recreate battles. Oh, and a portrait of himself in the background. A portrait of himself that has a blue sash on it. He's just commissioned. So they fall in love a little bit, and this is where we find that the general has double-crossed the Brits and the Russians and is just hanging out poolside at Joe Don Baker's house. And they actually use Joe Don Baker's house. Yep.

And Neckros the Hitchman is just wearing a little speedo. Look at that, though. Man, he's a real specimen, that guy. He is. He's a gorgeous man. Just cut. Is he Carl's brother in Die Hard? He is.

He's the one that's the one that's the first one killed. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Guys. The 80s. Just like everybody was doing everything.

That's right. Man. Yep. So, okay. Let's see. Five dollars if you can boil down all of the plot. Go. In a house, geez

I mean not, I'm not saying boil down the pot. Fake defection. Boil down the villainous. Boil down, what is the villain doing in this movie? Ultimately, it's all about an arms deal. Hold on a second. It's an arms deal. It's a opium and arms deal exchange.

Who is the villain in this movie? Exactly. There's three. Three? Well, I mean, there's Whitaker. Yeah. There's Koshav. And then there's necrose.

Yeah, necrose, I'd say, he's a henchman. But you're right. It's not clear. And the audience has led to believe that John Reese Davies is a bad guy. They're led to believe that Pushkin is a back guy, but he's not. I mean, he's still KGB, but he's honorable in his position. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I have nothing to back this up, but when General Koscoff is in the Jeep in Afghanistan

and he gets hit by the plane and it blows up, it's a huge explosion. He should be dead. The next shot is him showing him get up from the seat. And I think maybe they killed him and then somehow. Didn't test well? Yeah, because even the next scene where he comes back in there and Bond handles Whitaker at his mansion, they bring Giorgi in and just say, we'll take him home in a diplomatic bag. It's a strange moment to bring him in just to say you're going to kill him when you could kill

him right there. Right. Well, the whole thing when he kills him when he should have died on the airfield, like one, he had plenty of time to like, I don't know, turn the wheel of the Jeep in any direction to get away from the plane. There's no, like, Necros has already hopped out. You mean, any direction bother them straight? It's like Necros has already hopped on the plane.

He's got no purpose. Like, what is he going to do with the Jeep now? He should just peel out, and he's done. He's done his job. He doesn't. The plane crashes into it. It goes up in a big thing, and you think, oh, for sure he's dead. Then it cuts away, and it shows him, like, I roll out, and he's just got a little burn mark on his head.

So that feels to me very post. Like, maybe he, that's where he died, but it wasn't enough of a death for him because he really screwed with Bond. So let's tag it on later. Is it so strong? And then at the end, it all. Kind of peters out weird way. Well, that's the interesting thing, too. Let's go back to this.

Explain the villainous plot of this movie. Oh, my God. Well, they, they, it's almost diehard in a way where they're saying it's really political intrigue, but actually it's about money and an arms deal, right? Yeah. So it seems like it's, they're using MI6 to defect Georgie to get him free. But then there's opium and diamonds that are used in the arms deal. And a baboon heart.

A baboon heart, yes, of course. Which is going to Christian Schlaeder for the movie on Tamed Heart. He's part of this. I can't defend this, right? Well, I just, that's the thing I'm trying to, like, that's the, it's so weird to have. too complicated and it doesn't resolve in a way that's like, but you almost don't care because it's so complicated that you're like, I kind of get it. Like he was trying to defect, but I screwing everybody over, and there's opium and there's guns

involved, and that's what the Americans want. But was he trying to defect, or was that all part of the master plan? I think he doesn't, yeah, I mean, but that's only part of the master plan. I think ultimately, okay. I think the end game for Koskoff is he defacts and he gets a ton of money and he just goes lives on some island someplace. He just wants out of that whole thing. I think that's his end game.

Whitaker's is to get all that opium in exchange for guns or whatever. And I think that's kind of it, really. I think it's all this money, really, at the end of the day, that they're both trying to, like, get a big play now and then entire. So here's where this one,

I love, I do like this movie quite a bit. But the whole, I want my villains, you know, people complain about, oh, it's a guy holding the world hostage of the nuclear weapon. There's some stakes. Yeah. You know what I mean?

In this movie, it feels like other than James Bond's life, which is always at risk. There are no stakes. Well, the stakes are, let's not forget to kill all spies thing. I mean, that's the stakes in a sense, is that they think that,

like, they're almost kind of trying to start a war, too, with that whole thing and then take their money and go away. So that's the only reason MI6 is evolved in that whole thing is that their agents, buffoons be many of them by flying into trees are getting killed off by these guys. But yeah, it's a bit of a mess, and it's not really satisfying because you don't really care about Whitaker, honestly.

Like, he's just kind of a blowhard. So when he gets it, you're like, who cares? It's kind of an interesting sequence because it's just different, but. It feels like that should have happened almost before the climactic cargo plane scene. Yeah, that feels like more than that. That Brad Whitaker should have been killed somehow before. I don't know if it would work. Oh, right.

But it does feel like a... It's like an epilogue killing. Yeah. Yeah. And this movie... This is no short movie, by the way. This is a two hour and ten minute movie. Well, they, you know, there's 40 minutes of romance in the middle there.

That's right. So it's an hour and four minutes before they even get to Afghanistan. Right. Which, by the way, guys, Afghanistan looks like a lovely place to visit in this movie. It does. It has one of the most beautiful shots in any Bond film. Which is? That, after they get teamed up with Khan.

and they're riding out to do the drug deal. There's this like, it's either a morning or a dusk shot. You know what I'm talking about? With the sun kind of coming through the sand, it's beautiful. It's like when Jonathan Reese Davies is riding away with Indy and his dad. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly that. It's pretty much that.

It is. Yeah. Indy, Henry, I know the way. So, okay. Bond. Oh, this is the second poop diversion. Bond is. That's right.

Bond, it's a hell of a boob. It's the, I'd say, it's the, most skin we see on a lady in a Bond movie. Yeah. It might be. Diamonds are forever. There's a thing in the beginning where he rips her bikini off, and you kind of see a little bit, but this is a little more sustained.

Yeah, but this is like full-on fun. Side-on fun. Side-on fun. Side-on fun. It's not full-on. But so Bond is ordered by M to kill Pushkin. He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to do it because he thinks that no way he'd be doing this. That's crazy.

I know the guy. You know, because everybody in this world of intrigue, apparently, they have socials. They have mixers. Maybe they have mixers in, like, Antarctica or something. They all seem to like have a knowledge of each other that is like... They all seem to, like, have a lot of race. It's great. It's really fun.

Yeah, yeah. It's like the Soviets are over there. They're always trying to win the egg on the spoon race. Yep, always. The Chinese are there. They're always trying to throw the paper airplane the fur of this. Ukrainians are great at the wheelbar races. That's fun.

And the Canadian guys just, they just want to drink. The people from Chernobyl do the three-legged race. Yikes. What about the Philanomite babies? So, okay, tracks him down. Bond tracks down. Jonathan Rees Davies. Says, listen, I'm not going to kill you, but here's what's going on.

First of all, M says, if you're not going to do it, I'll get someone else to do it. He goes, no, if it's got to be done, I'll do it. it, that's not exactly a friend. Like, that's not quite the same thing as like he's my colleague, I'll kill him. It's not like it's a dog. Well, I think, I think...

We're college roommates, but I'm cool putting a golden inside if needs to be. He should defer. If someone has to kill, Matt, Gorely, I'll do it. Well, see, that never came up and just it feels like that you're kind of like trying to plant that idea. Okay, that

seems... But he's going to have a conversation with you first and make sure Listen I'm sorry Cole wanted me to kill you Wait now you're in this Yeah he wanted me to kill you Katie do you know anything about this?

It's actually all Katie's idea Because she wants to sell the opium Oh well now this makes sense She's trying to defect to air wolf I'm just here pretending to defect Okay All right I'm in

Yeah Go ahead Kill me Shoot me now So Bond goes to his local Special Effects guys But good luck finishing your last six James Bonning podcast. No.

And that was the boob diversion. Like he, his goon is coming in from the other room because he signals him with his watch. So Bond picks up the lady in the room, tears her robe off. So when the ketchman comes through, there's a blehement moment. So Bonn can assault him from behind the door. He looks wet. He does.

He does. There's no sign on this, by the way. Oh, we're not hearing anything? Nothing. Oh. Well, you can all imagine it. It's beautiful. I'll take you through it.

So Pushkin's laying on the bed. Pushkin has laying on the bed. Okay, so Bond is essentially telling him, listen, here's what's going on, I think. We've got to figure out what the hell this guy's doing, because even I can't understand the plot of the movie I'm in. Yeah, and she's got that rhombus-shaped 80s butt that I love so much. Hang on a second. What? Don't she love that?

Rombus-shaped 80s butt? I think you're just referring to a hibus-shaped 80s butt. I think you're just referring to a high-cut panty. Maybe. I didn't know you could buy it. I'm into that. Rombus-shaped 80s butt is my favorite term that has ever been said on this podcast. A-Cat-a-Rombish-But.

Do you want to see the 80s butt? I want to see how a butt could be a robber. Well, get ready. Everybody queue up your copy of Living Daylights to Time Code Stamp. He's got to look around. got a quick go what am i going to do to get a distraction you take off that great and here's a rombis shaped 80s butt let me draw it out for you those are you wondering uh matt is actually drawing out the rhombus what what are you doing now that's just is it a trapezoid what's a rombus

look like. Oh, is this a rhombus? Yes. Oh. Well, I mean, I could see that. I could see that. I can see that happening. I could see that being a rhombus. Yeah, maybe. You were right.

You were right. And wrong. All right. Either way, you can play in Tetris. You gotta go bring those pictures into your schoolboy friends tomorrow and go like, look, I drew a butt. It's a rom-but. Check it out, guys. We can all agree on that. But, I mean, guys, side boob. Clear nipple.

Very pointy, too. It goes right to the north. North Star. Did you say clear nipple? Clear nipple. We got a clear shot of nipple. Oh, I thought you meant like transparent nipple. No, it's not a translucent piece of skin. That's why he's confused. I can see your heart beating. All right. Is that his mistress or his wife? That's a great quote. That's his wife, right? Because she's with him at the ceremony. Yeah, it was his wife. He kissed his mistress goodbye and then went into the hotel. Oh, I was going to say he's a sweet guy. I knew there was some kind of duplicity there.

That bastard. But he does a great job of pretending to be dead. James Bond gets to work on some blood packs. I feel like he just did that himself. He went to Radio Shack and was like, guys, they need something. But it's not even electric. He's just got a bulletproof vest on and a pack of blood.

The bullet doesn't. He's like, guys, I'm going to need some red. Yeah, some red and some zip locks. Let's do this. Do you think that they just, oh, you know what they should have done is drained? And like they should just take in a pint of his blood and then filled up each one of those with some of his own blood. Oh, why? So when the people like take a look at the scene, they'll be like, oh man, this is blood.

I get the feeling, though, that the hospital people are in on it because they leave them right alone as soon as they take him into the room. Oh, yeah, they just walk away. Oh, he's dead. Our hook is done. Watch. Okay, get him in here quick. Get him out of the other. Yep, got to go.

See it. It's not even a doctor. Careful. We are almost given lines. that's some over-the-top eye-opening yeah oh it's hilarious

no one does it he does a great take is this reading John Glenn bigger bigger uh okay sexy saxophone music sexy saxophone music

he's in Afghanistan mind you right and these ladies are just like catac or teabird that's a link him I wish you guys could hear that music because it's pretty phenomenal

it's like completely weird and why But, yeah. Yeah, let me pull this up. Looking for a party? There it is. Seems like a good idea.

I even heard it from me. He's out of nowhere. He's basically wearing an Advent calendar of blood. He is the first time. I've never been grateful. That James Bond is a good shot. That is. First time I've been,

pull over here. Huh? When is the part where he escapes through Morocco? did you guys watch the deleted scene about how they had a magic carpet escape? No. Yeah. And I think Dalton protested at some point. So he takes a carpet from one of the roofs to get away and he throws it on some electrical wires.

And there's a scene of him like zipping down and it's kind of moving very slowly. And you could see where they probably would have put some like, da-da-da-da-da-music in. And they wisely cut it. I do like when he's doing his little rooftop escape after the assassination and he jumps into the laundry and there's a woman doing laundry there who just starts wailing on him trying to get past.

He's like more threatened by her than anybody else in the entire film. So they're now in a Russian base in Afghanistan where we all saw it going. If you're somehow following along this plot and not... I'm not and I'm not seeing this movie.

By the way, thank you both who are still listening. You know, Cole, we have at least four people still listening. All right, thanks, sorry. Thanks, guys. Three of them are in this room. Now, let's see. So this disjointedness of this all,

she's worried that her boyfriend, who's the defector, is not coming back for her. So she finds out that Brad Whitaker is involved, and she somehow has Whitaker's phone number, because Whitaker bought her the Strativarius violin, which I still don't understand that side plot. Yeah. So Whitaker buys her the Strativarius violin,

that at the time costs $150,000, it's probably worth a couple million right now. I'm just saying if you're investing, instruments are a good way to go. You can keep telling yourself. So she calls, talks to him, the guy then convinces her to drug James Bond in the martini. He downs it, by the way. He downs it, by the way. Like two seconds. That martini. Is this where he's going to kill himself, too?

Oh, no, that's in license to kill. Right. Right? where he gets drugged and he takes out his gun to shoot himself, which is pretty badass. I don't remember that ever happen. Yeah, this one he's just like, I'm the one who was the one who tried to shoot you and passing out.

Is you sure you're not thinking of this scene where he's trying to struggle to shoot the other guy? No, there's a scene where he gets drugged. Isn't it a license to kill? And as he's passing out, he pulls out his gun and tries to put it to his head. No, no. You're thinking of this.

He's going to do it right here. I think you're thinking of this. I'm going to turn the volume. I'm just so where I can hear what's going to hear what's going on? It's still not on. It might be the eye daughter. How do you know? There you go. Because I was the

I was the man sent to kill him. Why didn't you? Yeah, that's it. He's going to kill him. No, he's going to kill himself. No. He's for queen and country. No. Cole, where do you rule on this? I feel like he sees him coming in and he's trying to get his gun out to shoot him

because he tries, he kind of pushes it for. Thanks for coming in today, Cole. You're just coming from a real dark place. I like that idea. Wouldn't that be badass if he's going to, like, he's so ready? That's how James Bond ends, this movie series. But that's what I like. Someone drugs and he shoots himself about the Dalton's.

Black screen comes up and it says James Bond will not return. And that's it. Anyway, I got a pee. All right, well, have a good pee. We're going to stop down. Well, Matt goarly peas. Keep going. All right, Cole, listen.

The. The intricacies of this plot, it's now trying to explain it to an audience where I go, oh, this movie is way overly complicated. It is. It is way too complicated. There's, there's, I think there's at least, there's four, I think there's four bad guys in this movie. Okay. You got your, I'm going to count the henchmen.

You're going to count both, you're going to count general, you're going to count John Rhys Davies. And then I think you have to, I'm going to count the White Tiger Storm or whatever, the drug group that is selling the opium to the Russians. So they're selling to the Russians to buy arms to fight the Russians. Something like that. It's really confusing. All I know is the opium is seeing to get them weapons for their, and they're buying it from Whitaker or whatever.

So like... Yeah, so they want to buy these... But are they buying it? Like, is Whitaker ever actually going to purchase the weapons to sell to them? It's weird because there's that whole thing where they call what Pushkin calls them out on it, saying you haven't moved a penny from that account. We've been monitoring it. Give us our money or 50 million back.

or whatever. And he's like, oh, it's too late. I've made promises man. Yeah, but like, and that's the other thing, too, that's very unclear. Is Jon Baker's character, like, to me, it feels like he just, they want the diamonds to give them for the opium, right? Because they can't just give them cash. It's confusing.

There's a lot of different currencies. And then where, at what point? The diamonds are going to be exchanged for Beanie Babies. The Beanie Babies. are going to become a 1934 Honest Wagner rookie card. That's going to get turned.

What did I miss? We're just trying to break down the economics of Joe Don Baker's life. So essentially wondering... 90% of his income goes straight to Army costumes. But we're just wondering, like, so the plant, his plot, okay, so he gets $50 million from the Russians.

through the Afghans? No, he gets $50 million from the Russians initially. Here's Matt, I need you away on this. And it's in an account and they never touches it according to push. His plan is to order weapons, whatever. He never touches that. Then he somehow gets his hand on diamonds, right? Yeah.

And a heart. And a heart. Sure. Diamonds and a heart. And then... I would hate to think the heart's going unused, guys. Well, they often come together. His plan is to then exchange the diamonds.

for opium to then sell to get money that he already has sitting in his bank. Okay. I'm just glad we're all clear on this. So, Bond gets drugged. Him and Miriam Diabo get taken to the Russian base in Afghanistan. I like this prison escape scene. That's funny.

Is that the only one here? He were fantastic Freeing this Basically He were fantastic There's a lot of fun in Afghanistan here So they

They get off the base By putting on coats They put on coats They put on coats That's how they get off base They end up jumping into They see this ambulance They want to know what's going on here

They saw the heart already And the diamonds on the plane on the cargo plan they've been brought here in, so they already know what's going on there. They then go to these Afghan freedom fighters, these Afghani freedom fighters, they free the one prisoner that's at the base who's going to be executed the next day.

So he's in a debt of gratitude to them. A wookie life debt. A wookie life debt, if you will. So what happens now is we find out this guy goes to Oxford, he's just hanging out trying to make everybody free. Or whatever it is he's trying to do. Meanwhile, James Bond's working at Best Buy.

Got the khakis. Got a nice blue top. Open coat. Two buttons open. I feel like that's too many. I want to go one up. He did stop at an old Navy on the way to the base. That's where they got that.

Who are you? Let's hear one of that. I do like Art Malik. I work for the British government. The nerve. by a Russian general Koskof to purchase American high-tech weapons arms that could be used

against Germany man. What year to Graham will 3 come out? Because it was basically the same story. That is important. Without any of us. He must go directly to our commanding. You just mean guys with AK-47 I have to get back to the air base in the desert?

In Afghanistan, teaming up with the Mujah Hadin. And after we've completed our mission, I'll see what I can do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was just a big, you know, what was going on at the time. Yeah.

Okay. So, is this a little bit of exposition? Do they know? Is this one? No, it's not going to give them. No, here's where James Bond gets to Bondy. He pokes into the... That's just sounds like an evilism. Let's give us some specifics.

He pokes into the camel's sack. He sticks this... Which is full of opium. That's right. More peanut butter. Camble, just making sure my knife works. I'll see you guys. Roar opium

With half a billion dollars On the streets of New York I know he takes a tongue full of opium He actually does If that's a half a billion dollars of opium He takes $300 of opium In that little Fingerful of opium

There's probably a cut scene with him Laying back in a tub Some coins on his eyes Just swimming in a little oasis He's the biggest opium deal dealer in the golden crescent. He's trying to get the opium off the streets. That's his plan, right?

Yeah. His plan is to get the opium off the streets? Who's plan? Bond? I think he's still to destroy the opium. I think he's just trying to foil the Costco Whitaker plan, right? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. We can't spend too much time on this. This will

drive ourselves crazy. This is the point in the movie where everything doesn't quite make sense but then shootouts happen and you're okay. You know who... The point of the movie where the climax begins. So the climax to this movie, literally. Okay, let's just see. The climax is movie, when would you say the action starts?

Right about... Well, there's an actual gunfire. So, such the year, right? When Bond gets stuck on the Jeep. So the climax to this movie starts one hour and 41 minutes into the movie. The movie has a 30-minute climax. That is too long. Yeah.

Well, yeah, I mean, if you consider the Whitaker stuff A climax, I feel like that's very epilogish. Yeah, I guess that's all. So it's like this sequence is like 15, 20 minutes. There's a big fight on the airfield and then a great fight on the cargo plane between Nacros and Bob. Oh, let's see. I do like the scene, so...

Wait, you're already to the end? Well, I mean, what is there to see? Well, let's talk about that fight now. Oh, yeah, we should talk about that fight. Yeah. That is amazing. There's a couple things about that. So they shot it obviously with two guys that had parachutes under their

pouches or their jackets. And there were times when the bag of heroin was flopping so much that they would just have to leave and cut the take. And so the last shot after Nectrose flies out is BJ Worth. And he, they show it in the movie when Bond gets like basically swung back in, that he was in danger of like getting knocked out and then just falling and dying. So he had to let go once or twice before he even could pull that off. And then also look, At certain times in that scene, below them, is a model of the ground. And when you know to look for it, it's really obvious. They're just, whenever you can see Timothy Dalton and the other guys.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's totally. I love that. Very clearly a model. But that is like, that's some of that. In the meantime, too, she's trying to pilot the way that she thinks is helping. Like, she opens up, when she sees that the guy, they're fighting in the back, totally normal. She opens the cargo bay door and then tilts the plane up.

so all this happens, all this stuff starts No, do you know what I think she I think they were saying is she had hit the She wanted the plane to go down So she hits the down thing Because it says down Right And then it just happens

And then the thing opens up And then she picked She decides to pull the plane up And all that happens He, Necrose could theoretically still grab onto the net there Good, it's a good It's a good screen

Oh of him flying back in into the back of the cargo hole. Wow. So they start to, he says there's nowhere to put it down. But there's plenty. There's plenty of place to put it out. It's a road. There is a road to put it down.

And just a very convenient sign of, you want to go to, uh, Karachi. Yeah. There's even like a three foot tall retaining wall that would kind of slow the plane down if they get that safe way. But when they bombed this bridge

right there, that shot, that's a foreground miniature. Pause it? So there's just a really shitty looking bridge

behind them. And they did all of that wood framing and that's shot in the foreground of the camera and it hides

what the real bridge looks like. Oh, it's such amazing. The miniature work on the bond movies. Oh, do you know

what's funny about this, by the way? I was watching this and I was going like, well, that's clearly a miniature bridge.

but you thought they did like an optical cut there or something it's a real bridge that they all of this is in the foreground

disguising the other bridge and then when the bridge blows up and they showed it a different angle that's a small miniature but they do amazing foreground miniatures in this

in the whole series I love this they don't leave their man behind he's getting shot at by by compressed air and sparks and by the way

we neglected to say in that scene with the henchman dying is like that's one of the few times that Timothy Dalton does like a little bond pun which is when he goes, Miram Diab goes what happened to him and he says he got the boot. Oh right. Which is the trunk. Now that's actually very funny to me because he has enough time to see that they're crashing and still delivering. I think you're right.

That's... So, so on with, what, four seconds on it? Yep. I think they should always make it double a second second. What's happened? He got the boot. You got the boot. Oh, we're about to crash into a flip-sats.

Yeah, this is the... Let's hear a little bit of the Joe Donne Baker, Timothy Dalton, I belong. But then he also, like, acts like nothing's wrong. It's like, you know, Mead should have had 35,000 more deaths in his battle. Over now. well and then meanwhile the CIA is just hanging out yeah John Terry's drinking some coffee

on headset I think that's the it's like I think that was Alexander it looks like yeah they have to be like in store of coffee right Steve Martin's he's like a little boy in a candy shop

but the actor himself is not connected to anything that's going on this board He's just pressing buttons and someone else is. I'm replaying the battles I would have fought it. Me, he was tenacious, but he was cautious. He missed his chances to crush Lee at Gettysburg. I've come for Costco.

Well, hell, you can have him. As soon as I get my opium. Now, where is it? Up in smoke. You burned up a half a billion bucks? Mm-hmm. Jodon Baker looks like some kind of weird little angel. Like a cherub.

He does. Like a Campbell's soup. Like one of the Campbell's Soup kids grew up. I think he looks sort of like a Charmin baby on the front of. If the Russians don't get you the American... He's a Campbell Soup kid that grew up and never got attention. You know me? Should have taken another 35,000 casualties.

He was going down by the quarry. Could have entered the rebellion right in and there. Oh, wow. He's going to hit the room. That old fast-moving shelf. And the Stombs that they make himself are up. pellet gun. So it just looks a little less threatening. Do you like the fact that it's obvious that his gun has armor on it?

But James still shoots it like eight times. He's just going, doon, doon, ding. Why not shoot him in the leg or the body or something? He empties his clip into a clearly bulletproof surf against. It's not like he shoots it once. Oops, that was my last shot. Now I know. He shoots it like eight times.

And then Witterker goes, you've had your eight, now I'm my 80. and then shoots a billion bullets out of which he dives out of the way of very Mary Lou Retton-like. There's a lot of counting of bullets being fired in James Bond movies. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's her, Dr. No. Yeah. Anyway.

At one, one. Here's Jonathan Reese Davies. In a diplomatic bag. He met his Waterloo. General Bush King. So is, is Kosca staying? That's where they found him? Whitaker.

I can't... It must have gotten him at the air base. And he just brought him back over. It just feels really... But there's a look that he gives right here to James. Like, where he's like, thank you for rescuing me. And then he looks at James like, hey, buddy, you're not going to blow my cover, right? Yeah, I know.

Like, you don't like that I'm getting away with this. Don't say anything. Right there. on the next plane to Moscow. Oh, thank you, General. Thank you so much. Thank you. In the diplomatic bag.

Say what? That's our finest bag. A diplomatic bag. Okay. Meaning a body bag, right? Yeah. Right? Right.

It's not entirely clear. I mean, I've always taken that's what it means, but... It either means a body bag or they're going to put like a hood. I can kill him. Do you notice who the conductor is? here in this end scene? Is it John Barry? That's John Barry.

Nice. Yeah. I let him do it. By the way, in Austria, is it commonplace for them to have those powdered wigs at opera houses? Because I love it. I don't know.

I'm into it. I want to go. I bought some late at this. You know what's funny? No part of me thought you were joking. Well, then you know me well. They look so good. So M's here for some reason

Well you know It's Caspo He's in like four of them As the same Russian Oh at least I hope you can find time To bring him back to It's quite all right

General Gogol is now with their phone No he's in He's arranged on immigration He plays this character He's in Spiker Come and go as you like But he's also in for much with love I'm sorry we missed the concert.

We had some trouble at the airport. That joke still works, by the way. What is it? I wish I could hear because I don't have headphones. I bet it was great. Sorry, missed the concert. We had some trouble at the airport. They walk in with their full gun bandolero belts across their chest.

I bet you guys are probably spending Christmas in the holidays together too. I didn't get any invite you going to a cabin. So James Bond, are we to understand that by this point James Bond has not slept with her? No, I don't think so. I don't think they've had the chance. The performance he doesn't want to miss. Right. Oh, the performances.

That's when he's the gadget for the fourth time. You didn't think I'd miss this performance, did you? Here's a different pretender's song. I just realized that there was a man. Yeah. The two pretender songs, this one's here, and then the other one is the only one. the necrose ever listens to him. Always on his walkman.

Hey. There you have it, guys. That was the living daylight. That ends our Timothy Dalton era. Well, it's a very short era. As soon as it began. And next? Next is, it's by a love me.

Right. Yeah. Oh, like heaven above me? That's the one. That's by. That's by loving. Damn, damn. Hey, we should say thank you to Sean Sakime.

Yes, Sean, uh, Sean came to, Sean's a big, uh, podcast listener. He probably listens, he listens to more podcasts than I do. And he's been on Doug Love's movies a few times. Yeah, he listens to more podcasts than there are. Sean, I don't know what you do for a living. I think you're a lawyer or something like that. Whatever you do, you're independently wealthy. Yeah, he donates generously.

Yeah. To many podcasts. Uh, we have it on the books. He's been on Superigo, too. He purchased the, thing you could donate and be in a sketch. And he came over and recorded with us. How do you do?

He was great. He's a lovely, lovely man. Sean, check out Pop My Culture, also on the Nerdist Network. Yeah, Sean, take a look at... Come on over. Take a listen over at Pop My Culture. Yeah, Sean came to the live James Bonding and gave us Matt and I both matching Walter Pee Pee Pee Peeke's.

Yeah. That fire pellets. Beavis. Essentially. Oh, wow. I imagine Sean's at home. home, his home is a lot like Brad Whitaker's. Yeah, but instead of like what he does is he like puts like, he has models of like Mark

Marin and like that's and he plays fantasy podcast. Let's have Hardwick come over and do a how did this get made with Shear. I just made Gallagher walk out on Mark Marin. This is great. Oh my God. What if Todd Glass came out on how stuff comes out. Oh my God. But, Sean, thank you.

We meant to thank you on that episode while you were in front of our faces, but we were under time constraint and then forgot somehow. That gun has found a place of pride stacked up right against my Ian Fleming books. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. But so let's deal with Timothy Dalton.

Okay. It's the last time we see him for us. I mean, we saw, obviously. The last movie he did was the one after this. But we go backwards. here's what I think and I realize this when I was watching this movie today he in no way plays a

caricature of Bonn which you could definitely accuse a few of them of doing Brosnan and more especially the thing I like is that he plays it pretty straight and then there are times where he will like bark at Kara like get in or be quiet and it's like obviously not

an admirable quality and it doesn't make the character look good but you feel like he's making that acting choice because he's saying I'm playing a person who's kind of mean and flawed and a ruthless killer and he's not afraid to make bond look a little ugly sometimes and I like that. But I also think it's good because that's the tonal change in a James Bond that a lot of these guys can't do.

Yeah, that's right. I think that's ultimately what spelled Dalton's Doom is because this and License to Kill were very darker and more serious in a sense and I don't think people quite knew what to come on with Roger Moore, didn't know what to expect, didn't like that in a bond. They wanted to be a bit lighter and a little, you know, more charming in a sense and less by the book. And then we got the bras and air and all the other stuff.

And then it totally changed again with Daniel Craig and now it's more of a, you know, brass tech bond. And yet it's the like brightest color one. Yeah. It's such a contradiction. You know, a lot of it takes place from the fictional South American country. Of Miami Vice. But Timothy Dalton, I wish we'd got to see a couple.

I read an article once. We may have talked about it on the show, but that was probably six years ago, so forgive me. They had an outline for his third movie, and it was like a lot of it took place in China, I want to say, or something. It's worth looking up, but it was really interesting to read and to imagine what would have been. And what happened? Oh, they just ended up getting too tied up in the legal battle with Kevin McClory, right? I think he bowed out, right? I think he kind of read the... Yeah, because he's like, well, I can't wait around.

And he probably wasn't getting a good reception by that point. We weren't going to enjoy Peking nights. That wasn't going to be a good thing. So. Have you guys seen Penny Dreadful? No. I have not either, but I hear good things. He's great in Doctor Who, when he plays the leader, essentially, of the time lord.

He's great in everything, and he's the best he's ever been in that. Don is so good in Hot Fuzz. He's the best he's ever been in that Everything or Nothing documentary, where he just says, we were doing it. and that's what you did and he's just getting all fired up have you seen that? It's amazing.

His segment alone is the best part. He's great. And he's got long hair. He's just kind of gone a little mad. Nice. A little wild hair. In a good way. But my girlfriend saw that

and she's kind of like, I'm into him. And this movie did well. It was a big hit. It was a success. Was it really? Yeah, I made it like a hundred and a million. It did well.

License to kill is really the only one that kind of didn't do well. And man with a golden gun. Well, because the license to kill. to kill, I feel like they came at it too late. The second film of most of the Bond actors aren't so good.

Tomorrow Never Dies I disagree with it. Quantum of Solis. Yeah. From Russia with Love is about the only second one. Great, and I think Tomorrow Never Dies is excellent. And we love the man with the golden gun. We love the man with the golden gun. I like it, but it's not

good. So? Cole, do you have anything you would like to plug while you're here on James Bonding? I'd like to plug in some more headphones for you guys. That would be great. I wish I could understand you. I don't know. Palm My Culture Podcast.

It's on Nerdist. SF Sketch Fest coming up in January, February. A lot of podcasts you know and love from this particular network will probably be there. I love that that now goes coming up January and February. Like, it just gets longer and longer. It's been kind of consistent in the last couple years, but it's January 22nd through February 8th. So it's 18 days. Wow.

You guys essentially just... We take Super Bowl Sunday off and that's it. You just move up there for a month, right? Yeah, I live at a hotel for three and a half weeks. You really do, right? I really do. It's a hell of a feat you guys put on, and it's really fun. It's the most fun festival.

It really is. That's what we tried to do. It's great. Thank you guys for doing it here. Of course. We appreciate being asked, and hopefully maybe, you know, someday James Bonding, we'll go up there. I don't know what I'm just like to figure that out. We'd love to have you guys.

Even if it's 10 years from now, we'll still be going. Oh, we... The beauty of this podcast, is we have to take it on a dry dock every couple of years. Right. I like to imagine that our podcast sits in a dry dock. People are getting real snarky on Twitter. You know what?

People, thank you for listening. That's all I'm going to say, honestly. Thank you for listening. And we try to get them out as often as we can. We got really busy. Matt got a bunch of Volkswagen situations. He always puts this on at midnight all the time. You didn't let me finish my sentence.

Sorry, I love you. You know you guys could do when you've gone through all the Bond movies is then go back and do the podcast on your podcast onto that Bond movie. Oh, wow. You see what I'm saying? James Bonding bonding? Yeah. Is your favorite thing you said Matt Goorley on that episode?

The one where I was that guy. We take three years, we might be able to figure out what happened in Living Daylights plotwise. We've got to come more years to really digest it. Then we can go back and figure it out. Guys, thanks so much for being with us. Thank you for listening and putting up with us. James Bonding Pot on Twitter. You can follow us.

You can follow Matt Goorley at Matt. Matt Goreley, G-O-U-R-L-E-Y. You can follow me, Matt Meyer, at Matt Meyer, M-I-R-A. Cole's also on Twitter, I believe it's Cole Stratton. At Cole Stratton. I got it, guys, I got it. Yeah, nailed it. Katie, of course, you can follow.

She's K-T-Ur-Money, if I remember correctly. Follow her on Twitter. She keeps the podcast anchored and kicks me out of the studio. When other podcasts need to use it. Thanks so much, everybody. That's got some axes to grind. And James Bonding will we'll be. turn with the spy who loved me.

Now leaving nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got Great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor.

Hate nuts. Rachel Bloom. You are seeing my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed.

But Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus. I mean, Jarsos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three, a fellow from the magic tavern is out now.

Listen in Stitcher, Apple, Apple, Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.