James Bonding - The Man with the Golden Gun with Greg Proops and Jeff Davis

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

The Matts are back with special guests Greg Proops and Jeff Davis to discuss THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. Okay, hockey, housewives' trucks. There it is. We were just talking about this song. It's one of the most awesome of the themes, because everything's wrong. And yet it adds up to all right. Yes, to me. Wait, to all right?

All right? All right? All of it is correct, and it's all right, baby. Oh. I truly, truly love this song because it's so bad. There's a lot of, there's a lot happening. This is John Barry's least favorite of all the bonds. They gave him what a week to do the whole score or whatever?

It sounds like one of the songs, like I feel like we could all have careers as songwriters because this sounds like one of the songs you write on the waves, like in the car. Or like as a Channel 101 parody themed song. It's got the 70s Waka Waka Choirs here. It's a great bridge, though. Yeah. He comes just before the kill. Gross.

Some say gross? I say it's telling life like it is. What I know of assassins, they go have sex right before they kill people. This is Verite. This is telling it like it is. I don't like this. I really feel like whoever was in charge of this recording told Lulu, look, Lulu, we love you. We love Lulu.

But can you sound like birth of kit? Can you not be? Shirley Bassie, yeah. And please don't modulate. This thing is out as you can do. You bet that they went to Shirley Bassy and even she was like, look, you know I'll do all of these that you want, but not this one. She signed up for two more, right? Bassy?

Yeah, she did Moonray Crap. And Diamond's for Love it. Yeah, that was before. Yeah, right. Yeah. Well, this is James Bonding. We're back with Matt and Matt. And my apologies, we meant to play the wonderful theme song by Paul and Storm.

But for some reason, it is not on my phone. phone anymore. So we'll lay it in at the end of this episode because it's a goddamn instant classic. Yeah, sure is. It really is. What's that one? Paulin Storm did a theme song for us that is basically... Oh, you're for your show. Yeah, it's Matt and Matt to the tune of the James Bond theme, and it's all a cappella. Yeah, the only words to the song are Matt and Matt James Bonding. Gorley Myra. Yeah, that's right. That's it. That's it. But we'll lay it in at the end of this. Now, our guests today, two distinguished gentlemen. No, that's right. They're here. Yeah.

Don't look behind you guys. It's you. We're talking about you. Greg Proops and Jeff Davis. Hi, guys. Welcome. Hello, everybody. Hello, Matt.

Welcome with James Bonding. Yeah. Hi, Matt. So you guys got the pleasure of Roger Moore's second outing is James Bond. Yeah. The Man with the Golden Gun, which I believe did not do great at the box office. No, this and License to Kill, I think we're the two major underperformers, right? Yeah.

Our back-to-back movies. That was the last movie we did. Yeah. We're an underperformer season. Plus to kill as a Dalton one was not. Yeah. Yes. And she, if you listen closely to Gladys Knight, I used to go to a curry house on Barwick Street in London.

Already I love this. They would play. All they had to play, evidently every night when we went there to get drunk was license to kill. The theme song. I've heard it so many times. And we would all be sitting there drinking and she would go, I got a license. Gladys Knight of all people. I've got a license to Kilt.

She says Kilt like half the time. That's so good. Now, I saw this in the theater when it came out. I went to the movie theater. I want to say I saw it with my dad. Is this your first Bond movie in the theater? Oh, no, no, no. I'm old.

I saw Goldfinger, I think, in the movie theater. My first one that I really remember was, You Only Live Twice, because it was $0.75 at the Laurel Theater in San Carlos. And it had hot Asian chicks in it. Sure did. My favorite Blofeld. Oh, Donald Puzzis. He's the best.

And he gets it, if you remember, Sean Conner, he gets an operation in that one so that his eyes are more Asian. so he'll pass as Japanese, the six and a half foot tall, Scottish ball dude is suddenly a Japanese guy. Yeah, and he slouches the whole time to seem shorter. A little bit shorter. I'm a ninja, yes. There's a, no, I saw this in the theater, and because they'd brought back J.W. Pepper, and we were to... You have to understand from a 70's point of view, one, we thought it was cheesy then.

I'm glad you're here to talk about this, because we were last night trying to figure out the context of, like, did this work back then bringing him back? So tell us, yeah. It was corny. I mean, like, first of all, living in the way, Let Die works purely on bravado. Yeah, I don't know that one. Because it's a good picture. The affocados a great villain. And they got Paul McCartney to do the theme song. And the Mad Magazine parody, I remember,

the first panel is a drawing of Roger Moore with M. And it says, we brought this franchise back with a cast of unknowns led by me. And M says, yeah, but we got Paul McCartney to do the theme song. So this was the big follow-up. And, okay, so in, you only live- living let die it's a total voodoo

black exploitation they're just lifting everything that was popular so this is like what a year or two later now it's chopsocky they've stolen every Bruce Lee rib

like you've just the kitchen bloody sink and then the total smoking the bandit Jerry Reed Bert Ronald's yeah

yeah but that stuff got dumped in there but that's what we're that predate smoking the band that's what we couldn't figure out what's his name the actor who plays the comic relief guy

oh golly I can't remember his name Clifton Clifton... James or something. James, I think. Matt and I were like... He's doing Beaufort T. Justice from Smoking the Bad. It's two years before.

It's before Smoking the Band. Buford's doing him. But they already had all those Hillbilly movies from those days. There was already a whole string of... It's a slim pickings from like the getaway or something like that. It's a Macon County Line and all those

bloody movies. That's crazy that in the last two movies all they do is pull B-movie genre stuff, Kung Fu, Blacksploitation, Hillbilly Convoy type movie. That's nuts. Because also, General Motors gave them the cars, and they're in Asia.

I also enjoy an AMC. The idea that the sheriff from Louisiana would be car shopping on vacation. It's so hamfuscity. It's really disappointing that there's a protracted comic relief car chase. Well, I just want to, what I like to do is read the, when it's like a two-line, log line and Wikipedia of the character. I'm going to go ahead and read Sheriff J.W. Pepper's logline. Sheriff J.W. Pepper is a parish sheriff in Louisiana.

He appears in Live and Let Die and the Man with the Golden Gun played by Clifton James. He is mostly used as comic relief, especially and memorably, for his somewhat bigoted attitudes and his tendency to speak loudly about whatever is on his mind. Pointy heads. He says it 17 times. He keeps calling Asian people pointy heads. Well, in Live and Let Die, he calls black people, boy. Oh, yeah. Oh, the racist sheriff was already hilarious by 73. We were already loving that character.

And my dad was beside himself with joy in both of these movies. The Redneck Sheriff was there. So you're saying that when you saw Man with a Golden Gun and J.W. Pepper returns. Oh, no. Cheers. Cheers. In the theater, people remembered him from the first one. You have to understand these jokes worked then. It's like, let me be gentle about this.

In 20 years' time when you watch Happened. Madison or grown-ups three or whatever some of the jokes aren't gonna work 20 years very generous part of the reason you know what I'm saying like when you watch Joe Dirt now it doesn't always hold together like it did or that but that's but that's maybe we're getting the the cart before the horse here because the big talking point in that car chase is what the what it culminates it with that spiral flip yeah we'll get to that yeah we all that's one of the great stunts generally part of the reason I love movie in Live and Let Die is because

it does steal from these genres that are beneath, technically beneath a Bond movie. Like, you think of the Bond movies as the greatest in luxury and travel and all that sort of thing. And they pull from these weird B movie sources and it's the one time in the Bond series, or not the one time, but a chunk of it that Bond doesn't really know

what it is. Like, it has to reinvent itself and find, it's trying to pull from these other sources, and it seems so odd, but there's something I like watching the series find its feet again. And then you get back to the formula with Spy Who Love Me, like the, it's basically a copy of you get back to that formula but then immediately they decide

what's popular again? Oh, space movies let's throw them in space. Moonwreck is the worst. Now Greg, how old do you have been with? 14. 14. So you have to remember I'm their audience, right? 14 year old boys? So he's competing with at this point, Bruce Lee, Shaft,

there's been every great black exploitation movies come out by this point, every great chopsocky, fist of fury, Five Fingers of Death and all this. So the Bond movies are like, we got to do something to get the kids in here. Now, at that time, what was your feeling about the Bond franchise?

When there was a new Bond movie, were you super stoked about it, or had it kind of run its chorus in some ways? I was already over it by Diamonds or Forever because he came back with the kind of the toupee and he was a little chunky in that one. Although that one had the gay bad guys, which was super hip for those days.

I love those guys. No, you could tell they were flailing. And like I said, even then, I remember when the theme came out, I'm going, Lulu? Like, you reached back for Lulu? Wait, too, sir, with Lulu? Yeah.

So she wasn't the hippest choice she could have made in 74. Like then later you remember they had Juran-Juran-Di one when Jorand-Duron was happening. And that one sticks out like a sore thumb because even though they played it all the time in concert, sure. Oh, yeah. Now it sort of fits in, but at the time you were like, this isn't like a Bond one. We want Shirley Basset. I remember being disappointed when Duran Duran sang Vuto Akko. Yeah.

What were your feelings then when Lazyz-B took over? How did that work for you? Well, I was hot at it because Diana Rigg was in that one. So I was pretty bloody excited. about that, but then that's just not a very good movie. It's a little bit dull, as I recall. And even though I love Tali Savalas, and my dad took me to see that one.

There was a bit much skiing in that one for me. Oh, yeah. I get a little bored with the skiing. On this podcast, we recommend re-watching on her message. I remember. I remember she wore a kilt and someone wrote in lipstick on his leg. When I was nine or ten, I thought nothing was hotter than that. I've always thought that was one of my favorites.

It is actually does, it is, I will say, re-watching. Is he any good as long? He's dull. And the movie, the movie, the movie, movie is a little plotting, but in the same sense that the Fleming book is, it takes its time, it's the closest to any of the books. Really? Yeah. How's Diane Rigg? I don't even remember.

She's great. She's so smoking. She's so smoking. Fresh off an Emmy nomination for Game of Thrones. Oh, yeah, she is? Really? Oh, that's right. Yeah, as a guest star, huh? Yeah, yeah, God bless her. What was she in Game of Thrones? I don't know. Lady, Lady, an ancient, you know. She's an old lady. Oh, yeah, the lady that loves figs and cheese and what about it. Right, she wears a big

thing on her head and whatnot. That's her defining characteristics. She loves figs and cheese, right? She's always talking about cheese. Yeah. Dina rig is amazing. Well, can we talk about the chicks in this movie, or we're still on the genre? Well, we like the genre lifting is amazing in these two movies because you've added Hillbilly Road Race movies, Chase movies.

And in this one, all of a sudden there's a bunch of hot Asian people. Two people wipe out an entire dojo in one scene, which is fantastic. Yeah. And Bond is supposed to know Jiu-Jitsu, right, from the early ones. but in this one, he gets a little dirty he doesn't want to do it. Yeah. Too much body flipping and touching Asian people.

Let's go through it. We'll go through the movie beat by beat. Well, let's first, Jeff, what was the first James Bond movie you saw in the theater? Oh, that's hard to say. I don't know. Living daylights?

I don't know. I mean, I would have seen him very young, so I mean, it's possible what would have been like in the very late 70s? That would have been the Mooraker Octopussy. My first was... During the Jaws comedy relief years? Octopussy I definitely saw, and an octopus pussy will always be one of my favorites,

because I do love Louis Jardin. Me too. You cannot give me bad, Louie Jardin. They play backgammon in that one, right? They sure do. What do you say we use your dice? Louis Jardin, Mr. Bond, what do you say we double it?

I'm feeling lucky. Backgammon? That's so rare. That's so great. And then what's the one when they have, Klaus Maria Brander playing that really? Oh, that's never seen ever again. The laser game. The laser game. That's the unofficial.

Jim Bassinger. Yeah. Give me some goddamn backgammon. They made it, they made that interesting. Well, how about in the crappy casino royal remake one? They play high stakes Texas Hold'em? Yeah.

Like, what? Tees Fond doesn't play Hold'em? They had to switch it. Gross. We're huge casino real apologists here over here. We don't have to apologize for anything. It's great. You're right.

I mean, I get the Texas. The Texas Holdham, I know. I do. I did think that was a pandering. I was really bummed when I heard that too. Now, Jeff and I are friends from all the way back to seventh grade. And around, I want to say around eighth grade is when I got into my first, like, bond phase. But I don't remember us ever, like, hanging out and doing bond things or anything.

No, you did have a, uh, a Walthor P.K. That's right. That's right. That's right. Well, a replica. Well, obviously, they were these Japanese, no, I'm just a full armory. They had these replica guns. You pay attention, Mr. Gourney.

Put that down, Mr. Davis. Radioactive lint from my carpet or something. I don't know what that means. But we never really watched bomb movies. We were into platoon. What was going to say? The era had changed by then. We did.

I mean, this is shocking to think of what we used to do. Matt had these replica guns. We had a Mac 10 or 11. Mac 11. Mac 11. I should say that these were imports from Japan that you could build, and they would fire blanks fully automatic and eject brass shells. Oh, no.

How dangerous is that? And muzzle flare? He had replica AK-47. I did a presentation in my senior year in high school in Whittier, California, and about Vietnam, and I brought Matt's AK-47 on campus.

Wow. And like that, those days are gone. But Matt and I, do you remember the closest we got to doing anything Bond-like, we went to the Whitwood Mall with you had maybe the PPK and I had the Walthor P-38. Yeah. And we had, had them in our belts, like under

our shirts, and we just walk around the mall with replica very realistic looking firearms on us. This is obviously free Columbine. It might have been pre David Horowitz when he got held up on the news and that's why all the orange tips went on the go. Oh, definitely. Remember in senior year

I ran for publicity of ASB and my speech was, I promised to eliminate bad publicity and this is in front of what, 500 kids? The entire student body in the gym. My friend Jeff Gauthord comes out in a page sandwich board that says bad publicity and I had figured out how to make electronic blood pack squibs so I wired them up wow my Mac 11 no girlfriend no Matt and I

were late bloomer evidently my work was my course yes I understand and I'm being alone is so important in front of the student body and I never got so much as a reprimand only like oh you're you're so clever you know that there was no sense of like any of that stuff and you could never do that. I think the closest we got to Bond was like, it was, when you hold the Walthor PPPK, you cannot help but conjure up

James Bond in your mind. And you have to do the straight-to-camera opening pose. With a small pork boy, huh? So when I was really little, when I was like five, my father's friend, Dave Campbell, bought me the James Bond attach. Oh, right.

So I know of that. It came as an attache. You flipped the switch, it turned into a machine gun. It opened up. come at the handle? Yeah, the knife came at the handle. There was a LICA or a Nikon replica, and that turned into a Lugar. And then there was an

AMFM radio, which was a big deal in those days, like a pre-boombox, boombox, and that turned into a Tommy gun. And there was a pen that shot ink, whatnot, to blind you and shit. Does it have the little gold sovereigns on a belt? Oh, my God. It was, I remember getting it, and

I was never so happy with a Christmas present. I bet. I'm happy just thinking about you having that at 5.000000. So, I was still going to Sunday, school then, right? I quit church at about seven, but when I was like six, I went to Sunday school, and my parents bought me this blue suit with a white shirt and a clip on tie. And I would say, after Sunday school

was over, can I keep the suit on? And they'd be like, okay, and then I take my Star Trek Tracer gun and be James Bond in the apartment building and just run up and down the halls and shoot and shit and fucking... But you had to have the suit, right? As soon as the suit was on it was like, you couldn't play James Bond, like you were a little kid.

Did you shoot pussy galore? If only. When I was in my mom Yes, that was it That's the one I had See, and there's the Luger and everything I was so dope It was really dope

Oh god I wish I had any I even had the camera up till a few years ago I don't know how I'm doing You could recapture this for $1,600 on eBay I bet it cost $8 when it came out And the ad on TV was a guy walking along In a suit and he put the attache The attache had the knife

So you could put it up to people And out who and goldfinger them I've told this before But when my mom got remarried in sixth grade I had a tux And so I wore a little gun inside, you know, during the ceremony, yeah, I just had to have one on me in case. When were we dressed up when you're little, you know?

Like, went to Sunday school was like, oh, now I'm James Bond. I was always, because I got the thing. We dressed up to go everywhere when I was a kid. I remember, like, just tie and tie as a little kid, like, this is such bullshit. Like, now it's like, I look back on it. It's so funny. I remember just hating to put on suits. But you do.

And also, I think I had a powder blue suit, which makes you feel incredibly bondy. Because it's not bond without powder blue. No. You know. Did you say that you're a little? having some terry cloth short shorts made up for i'm having a onesie i'm having a play suit like in goldfinger blue terry clod blue terry onesie yeah yeah short when he goes up to that jill or whatever her name is you have to do you know how confident you have to be as a performer as an actor to walk around

we'll see because i'm going to wear it in dead authors i'm doing ian fleming on september 6th nice well you have to remember too nothing was uncooler than the bond franchise like when it first started the first two or three it's kind of in its time and then by the end of the 60s it's so old-fashioned. And then by the 70s, there's feminism and gay rights and people don't want to be called pointy heads and stuff. You know, like things kind of change. So it's, you know, and the last, what, four or five,

they've made fun of the fact that he's a dinosaur. But if you remember it, is it in Goldfinger? One of the early ones, he says something about the Beatles, that he doesn't like the Beatles. It's like listening to Beatles without earmuffs. Right. Like, how uncool is James Bond? He doesn't fucking like the Beatles.

He dated himself quickly. Yeah. By the time we get to this one, Bond is like this one. who's in Asia, who's acting all superior to people. And, you know, they're very patronizing and sort of awesome, you know. Well, let's jump into it, yeah. Okay, let's break it down. I'm going to start with a little treat here.

Hopefully it's a Mod Adams glamor reel because you cannot give me bad Mod Adams. You can't. It can't be done. No, her jar is you could, you could shape metal with it. She is. Boom, boom, malicious. Take a call from someone really special right now. allow us to go back in time here and let me turn this up a little bit. Bonjour. I'd like to speak to Hervey Villageszschez, please.

Yes, speak, as well, he'd be speaking. Hi, this is Matt Gourley, Matt Myra, Jeff Davis, and Greg Proops from the James Bonding podcast. We're big fans. Oh, monsieur. How's all right? How are you, Herve? We want to talk a little bit about your work on The Man with the Golden Gun. nicknick, he's like star of the movie.

He's, I don't know if he's the star of the movie. I think Roger Moore is the star of the movie. Have you watched a movie? Yeah, I watched it a couple nights ago. Did they tell you you were the star? You're going to have to tell me on the star. Roger Moore is the old woman, noticed, there's very much time in the song.

It's like the meat is falling off of these old bull. Now, did you have any kind of friendships with Britt Ackland or Mod Adams on the set? Oh, we make good friends. We go out. We play naughty games together. We all online. Noddy games? What sort of naughty games do you play?

Can you describe one of the naughty games? Well, for example, right now, four men in a room standing around a phone. There are some notty games that four games. you could play. Oh, Hervey. Oh, you're a buttercup. You could play, which way should I dial next? Hervey, at the end of the movie, when you're up on top of the, you're tied to the mast of the ship, that was for real, wasn't it?

There was demeanor. I did not agree to that. Oh, how did that happen? How did they get you up there? They told me there was a bunch of peels in the bottom of a bag. Herbe, this is... What? It's not the first time I ended up in a rock sack.

Yeah, I thought it was a little diminishing of your talents when they put you inside the suitcase, you know, and, you know, treat you like... Thank you. Thank you. I'm also surprised. You sound awfully good right now. I'm surprised to hear you so... Oh, I have a time-traveling phone. Oh, you do?

Yeah, we're able to go back in time. Hervee, what's up with your life currently? Wait, what? Oh, nothing. Don't disregard that. Don't worry about. What's up with your life? Why do you need time to have to fly?

Why are you not calling me now? No, I am calling you now, but I'm actually calling from the future. What does call me? What's happened? I'm calling from the future from 2014. Oh, Ted and what happened. Well, I'm a little afraid to tell you about your future, but, Let's say,

things are... It got dark. Woo, he got dark. Yeah, sure did. Hey, you know what? The James Bond franchise is still going. Of course, it is. It's probably not called James and Nicknack.

You know, I did notice that in this movie, you're one of the only henchmen, other than maybe Jaws, to not be dispatched. You could technically come back as a character. I explain that to them. You've got to think franchise opportunity. You have to say,

marketing, how many child want to have Nickneck Costume for Halloween? Oh, well, Nickneck, what are you currently up to? Are you working on any projects? Well, I'm, of course, developing a speed for Nickneck 2 into the

jungle. It's very exciting. Entertaining enough all right now for a character called Boss Hog on a pilot called Duke of Hatham. Oh, you want to play Boss Hog, huh? I'm very interested. Very interested.

Okay. I think he's, there's a character called David Duke. I think both of him and Davey have an adult relationship. I don't know we can say with four men on his phone. Yeah, you can say, speak freely here. It's fine. Oh, yeah. I think I probably call inside her.

We all wanted to. I'm just imagining, Hervey, inside of that. giant Cadillac buzzhawks drove around. Where do you see me drive on the Hollywood Boulevard? Applebox. Are you currently seeing... Applebox on seat? Are you currently seeing anyone right now, Hervey?

Right now, Baba Bach and I are sort of not talking to each other. But it's possible we get back together. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, we just wanted to check in with you. This is a real pleasure for us, Hervey. Thank you so much for taking some time out of the past to talk with us. You know what? I love talking to groups of men. It's just fun for fellas to be fellas. It really is. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Harvey. Don't kill yourself.

Hey, is Chris Tallman there? Can you hand the phone over to Chris Tallman really quickly? Oh, oh, my mom. Hello? Hi, Chris. Jesus, this phone smells like rum. What is going on? Ladies and gentlemen, this is our friend Chris Tallman, and he knows Hervey Villages, and he was the one that was able to hook up that meeting. So thank you, Chris. Hi.

Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me. How are you? I'm doing fine. I'm on my second coffee of the morning, so things are good. We're talking, Man with the Golden Gun here. Do you have any thoughts on that movie really briefly? I loved it because it felt like it was getting sci-fi-e, just watching him.

put that gun together, it made my little Star Wars loving brain freak out. It was the best. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. How are you otherwise? Good. Oh, things are lovely. How are you? Good. Hey, Chris, Jeff Davis here. How you doing, buddy? I love this new podcast, which is just a fellow's just shitting it.

Just talking around. Just shitting it. That's what it's called. Just shitting it. Just shitting it. You know, a lot of podcasts focused too much on being entertaining the whole time. and I think that there's a lot of overemphasis on that. Yeah, I agree. In fact, let's just have a moment of silence. Well, Chris...

It's sort of like a background podcast. Stuff to do the dishes by. That's described all podcasts. Yeah, that's the other title. Just stuff to do the dishes by. Chris, thank you very much for hooking us up with Hervey. That was much appreciated. Nope.

I'm just so delighted that you guys are all awake this time of the day. I'm shocked myself. Chris Tallman, ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen. Bye, Chris. Bye, Chris. Bye, Chris. Bye, Chris.

Bye. Bye. That's the button. All right. So let's briefly go into the run through this movie show. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Starts off on a lovely island where my favorite line, perhaps in all of James Bond, is spoken. Yelled by Christopher Lee, knick-knack, Tabasco. Give your dog a little. phone. I have it queued up if I could just pull this for just so we can hear it. Please do. I would also like to know what it is he's requesting Tabasco for. I see I missed that Matt and I washed it together a couple nights ago and one of us must have been talking and I missed that line because next thing I don't remember that either. Next thing I know is Hervey is coming out with a with a Tabasco on a silver salver. Oh here it is ready everybody? He's having a black

velvet. Tabasco! Oh, I've never caught up. Let's go! Louder, Christopher. We need you to project across the island. Something tells me that he didn't even think they were rolling, and he's just taking Herve as his little man.

I love him so much in this movie. He's so on fire in this period of his career. Now, the first thing that comes when I was watching it, and I'd seen this movie a very long time ago, and not a lot of memories came back to me. What I was blown away by is that when I first saw Christopher Lee there, I asked Matt, who is that? Because I thought it was Ricardo Montelban.

And that's before you see Hervey come out Yeah I believe Oh wow And then like is this Like are they goofing on Fantasy Island No it's before Fantasy Island

But there he is In his little white tuxedo Bringing things to To the boss And it's really like Fantasy Island certainly Well they were laying the groundwork For other 70s magnificence

During this picture Yeah this film takes and gives It really does Jack Palance was who they originally wanted for the film. Oh, I'd have enjoyed that. Nicknack. Damasco. Let me borrow that.

So we were scared me. With a fun house assassination scene with that Rodney, which is the most unapply named or inapply named gangster ever. He's also in Diamonds or Forever. Yes, he is. They have a... I choose to believe it's the same person. It is. Like, I mean, same character.

It may be. So I have a couple of little alternate theme songs that they considered for this movie. The first, of course, being the one they refused by Alice Cooper. Here's his version of the mic. Right, which came out anyway. Yeah. Oh, whoops. Again, that'll give you a great idea, boy, here it is.

Alice Cooper's a much hip-er choice than Lulu. Right. And they couldn't see that. Too rocking. Yeah. I love this are pretty. Yeah. When they get into that little syncopated part.

Yeah, what's wrong with this thing? It's way too hip. It's a little plotting, too. Yeah, that bass line could get a little gussying up. Yeah. It's a song, no. But it's not Lulu in 1974. Yeah, it's not a...

They could have orchestrated and jazzed it up there, yeah. Of course, if you're in the Phoenix area, we recommend you go to Alice Cooper's Town, Alice Cooper's Sports Bar. Up the foot-long Randy Johnson Big Unit Hot Dog. Oh, that place, unspeakable. It's like, what if Fridays met and welcome to my nightmare? There's your base. A little, too little too late.

Alice Cooper had a superb band in the 70s. Dick Wagner went on. I wish they had a Ronnie James Dio version of this. So then here's this oddity. And to this day, I don't know how this is connected or what this is, but Peter Cowup took it upon himself to make a man with a Golden Gunn song. Who's that? I don't know.

This already works for me. He had only seen the part where the guy comes to the double doors. Yeah, the western part. This just must be his own deal. Maybe it's not even related to the movie, I don't know. He probably saw the movie? Is this like Neil Diamond saw E.T. It decided he was going to make it?

Well, right. And the song Alfie's not in the movie Alfie. Oh, really? Yeah, it's not even the theme song. And Johnny Cash did his Thunderball song as just a submission on his own that never was commissioned. And the man who shot Liberty Valance is not the theme song of the man who shot Liberty Valance? What happens?

Alfi's not an Elfi? Modern jazz quartets is to go to Alfie. Burt Backrack-Ruck loved the movie Alfie and he decided to write a song, I guess. Oh my God. And Liberty Valence, too, but she also wrote. It's a goodie. All right. The Liberty Valencia is really good.

So there's some time with Bert Backerich's just sitting there watching movies, writing songs about him. Yeah, that was pretty good. I'm going to go write that. Having a little vermouthed with Angie. That was a weird thing because, yeah, turn on your heartlight by Neil Diamond. Yes, where he asked permission. I saw, I saw, I saw Ney. at the forum in Los Angeles

after E.T. had come out, and he had written that Heartlight, and he passed out lyrics underneath the seats. There were lyrics to Heartlight and the whole audience saying, I don't need those lyrics. Gonna take a ride across the moon. You and me. Is there something playing right now?

Yes, he's still playing, very lowly playing. Well, it's got that 70s folk rock nonsense going on, an acoustic dude. It's almost kind of like a Donovan song or something. Like a Jesse Colin Young or Kenny Rankin or any of the schlocky schlocktasms that. So, the world's most deadly assassin. Yeah. Scaramonga.

Defined by his third nipple, apparently. Right. He's the only thing. What was the whole point of that? Did anyone... So that Bond could later on disguise himself with a fake nipple. Yes, that's pretty much. There's no payoff.

Pretty much. I was going to say, but there's no payoff. That's pretty much. I want to say that's... That may be the only thing from the novel. I could be wrong about that, but this is probably the Fleming movie or novel that is least like the movie of any of them. You mean there's not a car chase with General Motors cars in the film novel and people getting

called Pointy Heads and stuff? The third nipple thing... Actually, I'm sure pointy heads is in the book. There is one reference by one of the quote-unquote pointy heads who says that the third nipple is a symbol of virility or something like that. But that's... He doesn't really... He never really does anything that virile.

He kind of threatens to have sex with Mon... No, with Brit. Now that I think about it, maybe it isn't in the... because I remember watching an interview with Tom Mankowitz saying like, oh, wouldn't that be kinky if we do that sort of thing? Yeah, it was just a plot device for them to get... Was it not in the book with their nipple? Are you sure?

It could be, I don't know. Go on. Oh, I just want to... I just... This is, okay, so we see that... The first scene we see is, the cold open is Skarmanga on his island. He wants to have the deadliest game where he wants to hunt man.

So, uh, Nick Nack. Which is also lifted from the Cornell Wild movie of the... Yes. From the 50s. Oh, I don't know that movie. Yeah. And a fine Gilligan's Island episode, too, by the way. A fine Gilligan's Island episode.

Is it Vincent Price in that one? Is it Vincent Price? I can't remember who's the bad guy. I think it's Vincent. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, the hunting a human is always hilariously good. I think Gilligan's Island.

Was it McNair? What is his name? I don't know. I don't remember that episode. It got a little dark. That's so dark, Gilligan episode. And Marianne can't save it with her buoyancy. Oh, great.

On a very special, Gilligan's Island. The, so Skarmanga, Nicknack apparently just sets up these games all the time for Skaramanga. Yeah, because he gets to inherit Scaramanga's island if he's killed. I'd like to know more about that arrangement. That's, I think you went to the, you know, you know how bad guys are. If they die, they give their, they give their necks and command. Well, I love that he's admitting that to Roger Moore at the end going,

I help you kill him because I guess all this will be mine. And it's like, oh, yeah, the state laws are such that a criminal, if he dies, still gets to hand over him. Well, I mean... He paid the estate taxes. World-ending estate. Plus, you also find out that Skaramonga is just living there rent-free from... The government. Yeah.

Yeah, because he occasionally does a favor for them. From high-fat or whatever. But also, I love that he shoots high-fat and then just tells high-fat second-of-command that he's in charge now, and then that guy's like, yeah, sure, all right. Yeah, that seems legit. You killed him. You also, remember the whole solar-powered theme of this? This was the year of gas lines.

Yeah. This was the year of odd and even gas lines and a huge oil crisis, and England was in the middle of a huge one when this was going on and this, Gerald Ford was president and there was like whip inflation now buttons and like, so the whole subplot of the energy crisis is a big through line in this, but

they thankfully spared us having Arab bad guys. Oh yeah. Because that would have been the other way to go. They do mention a member of the shakes will... Uh-huh. They move it to Asia so that they can don't have that. So this this movie also... We're fighting over solar power by the way. It's crazy.

But this has the scene, I think, in all of the James Bond movies put together this has the largest instance of know-it-all James Bond. Oh, the worst. Which I'm gonna... I'm gonna play for you right now. What I'm gonna describe it, you mean...

This is also your British officer. Yes. Chief of Starve. What do you know about a man called Scaramanga, well, let me tell you. Scaramanga. Got a minute? Let me think.

I'd memorize this part. The man with a golden gun. Da-da-da-da. Born in the circus, father of the ringmaster, possibly Cuban, mother English a snake charmer. He was a spectacular trick-shot artist by the time he was ten

and a local Rio gunman at 15. The KGB recruited him there and trained him in Europe. Is there more? ...came an overworked underpaid assassin. We know anything about him? In the late 50s. Oh, okay. Current price, one million dollars a hit.

No photograph on file, but he does have one distinguishing feature, however. A superfluous papilla. The what? A mammary gland. A third nipple, sir. He always uses a golden bullet. We believe the shit, that's what he said. He was also in a lot of hammer movies.

Why, sir? Oh, there it is. Why do you ask? Snap. Snap. Mr. Bond, what do you know about exposition? Well, let me think. Why, sir? Hilarious.

That's fantastic. That is the, I think that, I will go on record as saying that's the largest instance of that happening. And they stand there deaf as posts through the whole thing. They keep giving each other, like almost camera takes. Like, Jesus Christ. There's the one in Moonraker where he has to identify the poison flower in his office that's ridiculous to. It's the Latin name and what it's characteristically. Well, the other instance of this is when he's explaining how the power plant works to Scaramonga.

He knows everything about it. Yeah, here it is. Let me show you. Mr. Bartman? The summer shirts. Oh my God, the plaid jacket. He's like Johnny Carson going golfing in this. This is an empty room.

The great set, though. This is a few electric toothbrushes. Oh, no, clarity. 74 was a great year for humor. And toothbrushes. A solar energy station. So this is what it's all about. And thermo electric generators to convert solar energy to electricity.

Thermo electric generators. All built by Hypat's construction company, no doubt. Somehow I seem to inherit it from. It's all fully automated. That's cram maintenance and security. That's the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Why does he only have three letters? They tell me the electricity is stored in here somewhere.

Science was never my strong point. Superconductivity coils, cooled by... Christ. If I were you, I wouldn't stick my pingo or anything else of that matter. then. At 453 degrees below zero, that liquid helium would break it off like an icicle. You'll better know far more about it than I do. That was the first time where it's like, I know they're supposed to be rivals, but in the book, Bond works as Scaramonga's like assistant. Really?

His apprentice. He's undercover. And the whole contract, because Fleming only did a first version of this and then he died, so he never got to revise this novel, but they put it out anyway. and everybody was asking him before he died, basically, like, why does Scareomanga keep this guy around? He's what's the reason? And so he makes Scareomanga sexually attracted to Bond. And I wish they'd kind of done that in the book. Oh, I wish they'd done that, too. Chris Lee is so tall.

He's huge. He's looking in this, right? And the year before is, what, Wicker Man, and then Three Musketeers? He's on fire in this part of this. And he's Fleming's cousin. Yeah. Ian Fleming's cousin. Fleming wanted him play Dr.

Nepotus. Guys, nepotism. Instead of the fantastically Jewish Chinese Dr. Noe of Joseph Weissman. Joseph Weissman. I know. With Joseph Weissman as an Oriental. Oh, we read this as Wiseman. I'm sorry.

We have to. We have to go. Joseph Pointy Head Wiseman. It's in that grand tradition of Jews playing every nationality, like Alan Arkin and Eli Wallach. And Joel Silver and Rimo Williams. Do you know that? Joe Silver. He played me Rooney and breakfast of Tiffany.

Fantastic. It is fucking hot in here. Not Joel Silver. It's really hot here. Ridiculous. Not Joel Silver. Joel Silver, the producer of the Matrix? No, Joel, uh, who is the guy?

Joe Gray. Joel Gray. Joel Gray. Joe Gray. Remo Graham Williams, yeah. Is that the Fred Ward one? Yeah. Yeah.

Although, Joel Gray does a pretty good job on that. I love Joe Gray. Yeah. It's just a, it's, I'd like to go watch that again. Yeah. That's not so long. That's so good. Wow.

So, James Bond knows a lot about superconductivity. knows everything. He goes into the fun house to hone his chops. Yeah. And if we stay sharp. But we don't know that yet because we just think that somehow Nicknack is trying to kill this guy because he's lurking and he's got this console full of buttons. Yes, he sure does.

It's almost at the direction where, Hervey, can you just mash crudely at the controls? He's completely just hand-handed everything. Maybe we can open this door since this door's closed. Yeah, I might as well open that door. Sorry. Will that more hot air in? No, I think it should be. It is genuine.

This is a conduction oven today. I'm smoking a ham in here. Oh, it is warm as fuck. So he got, because his family used to work in a circus, it's kind of circusy theme, and it's kind of like a carnival. Right, mixed with lady from Shanghai. Yeah.

Yeah, and so now, what's happening here is MI6 has somehow gotten a golden bullet with 007 written on it, somehow mailed to them. I don't know how you mail something to the MS6, the secret place. But it happened. So now James assumes...

Well, because he's the most well-known secret agent of all the time. I know. In this movie, more than anyone, he's James Bond. Oh, I know him. He was on the cover of Spy Magazine. Spy Magazine. I thought the perfect wax figure likeness of him that is there.

That's been ripped from Madame Tissau's from the year before. And shakes a little bit. It does. Well, listen. It's heavily made up. Roger can't stand still for anybody. So now James thinks he's off his case. He's got to go find the man with the golden gun before he finds him.

A lot of pronouns there, but you follow. So he has to go to Bangkok. To meet Lazar, the manufacturer of the bullet. Yes. Well, I love this actor. I wish he was a bar. Lazare is great. He goes to Macau to get that.

Oh, okay. Yeah. But he goes to... Macau? He has to find the bullet first, which is... Speak now or forever hold your peace. Great line. Great line.

When he's pointing at his crotch, speak now or forever hold your peace. So the big gaffe in this movie is the mirror, which totally gets hit and you just see everybody on the crew. There's a fight happening in the belly rooms, the belly dancers room. And they come across a fight, they go by a mirror, and the entire, the craft service guys in the shot,

I mean, this is an infamous. Gaffer. Gap. The best boy. If you haven't watched the movie yet and don't know about this, look for it when they're fighting in the belly dancer's break room. Yeah, so I'm going to go ahead and pull it up to see you guys can see it, but keep talking.

What were they also thinking? Like, was that the best take they had? They could have cut before the mirror moves. I think they were under the impression. Saltsman and Broccoli were not getting along, I don't think. No, this is... This is Saltzman's last movie. There's a funny story about Saltsman on this.

So they get to Bangkok right when this movie's about to be made. And Saltzman's on his own. This is on the documentary. and he's looking at these elephants and he goes, oh, yes, let's have an elephant stampede in this film. Just thinking, let's just do it. So apparently to have elephants move quickly in any kind of urban landscape or whatever,

they have to have these special elephant shoes. So he orders 200 expensive elephant shoes. He forgets about this set piece. He never speaks to anybody about it, never manifests itself in the screenplay. And then, like, halfway or three quarters of the way through shooting, 200 elephant shoes arrive on set. And basically, Cubley Broccoli's like,

What are you doing? What's happened? 200 elephant shoes. And there's no elephant stampede or anything anymore in the script. You know if you just mouth the words elephant shoes? It looks just like I love you. And elephant shoes. Also, if you want to speak high...

If you want to be a posh English person, the word ears and eyes are also the word yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And yeah. Yeah. Eyes. I'm just staring to you, ass.

Okay. Yeah. There's the guy... So there's the guy. Oh, my God. Camera assistance. There's a light kit right there. That guy's over there.

They're just like, yeah, let's keep going. And fuck it. No problem. Fuck it. I love that. Rolling and fuck it. And fuck it. And fuck it.

Camera speed and fuck it. I love guys who make guns in movies. If you remember the Day of the Jackal, the guy he goes to to have the, make that's fantastic. Anyone who's the crafts person who makes the gun is always a great care. Or like when Sonny Cheeba and Kill Bill making the swords. Like, yeah, I love the guy that makes this stuff. Mickey Rock's the bomb guy and body heat or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah.

There's always the guy who's the expert on some weird shit. Later on when they're at the loose site dining room table, sorry. From Levitts. You love it and Levitts. Scaramuga pushed that gun together in no time flat. It's on the table. It's using a pen. It's a lighter.

Yeah. And at cufflinks. In cufflinks. Yeah. You can buy a pretty. pretty good replica of that. I still asked myself why I haven't yet. I was going to say, surely you would have had that one. I know, I sure. Because I was a famous gun.

I like in the golden eye video game when you got the golden gun. Yeah, one shot killed you. One shot, it was done. Yeah. That is the best game. We've talked about it many times. So he tracks down the bullet, which is in the belly button of a dancer. Naturally. Because it killed a double-o agent previously, and she thought it would be good luck to stick it in her belly button.

It is my charm. I've lost my charm. Not from what I'm standing. Did Hervey Village just do her ADR? Yes, yes he did. So James swallows the bullet because he gets hit. And you see the shape of that bullet. He has to pass that thing shape like...

Now, here's what I think. Do you think that he... You think he shit it out, or do you think he went and got some whatever that makes you vomit? Well, he says, I have to go to the pharmacy. Yeah. That's a laxative joke. You think so? Yeah, because you have no idea what I went through to get this or what it's gone through.

He's talking about, I went to go, take me to the pharmacy, he's going to go buy a surprise. This is screen written by Tom Manquitz for the most part. And Maybombie. Yeah, and so same with diamonds or forever where they hide the diamonds in the elementary canal of that one guy. So a lot of bowel movement jokes. Yeah, but let's, uh... When weren't those funny? Yeah.

So they go to, he finds out... Am I right or am I right? 1974. A lot of things weren't funny in 74. That is the other thing about these movies is we're in the golden age of, one of the golden ages of cinema and you've got these weird campy movies that don't stack up against these other gritty films it really is lost its way godfather two the conversation the passenger by intoneone these are the movies that are coming out then a taxi driver and man with a golden

gun with boy what's you don't found show of j w pippa you're like in the middle of the maybe the greatest era of cinema since right after the war Network? Network? Network's not here. Network's the same year. When's Bonnie and Clyde? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Sixty-nine. The mid-70s, we're talking about sleeper, love and death is this year. I mean, there's all these superb movies from this era. Manna would be kings from 75. When's Wild Bunch, too? When is that later 701? That's right before. Meanwhile, James Bond needs to go to a pharmacy. Hotel, mister? No. The nearest pharmacy. So I can take a giant one.

I need to shit out a mushroom. bullet. But this leads to my favorite, the most British man in the movie. Oh, Colthorff. Yeah. Even his mustache. I love how annoyed James Bond is by this guy has a Boothroids.

This guy has a Bootho-03 grams, which leads us to deduce it was fired from a 4.2 millimeter gun. Bond's board. There's no such thing as a 4.2 millimeter gun. The fact that they look at the background, the experiment in the back. Military or

civil produces it a bullet doesn't mean it doesn't exist 007 Kew Brown should be making a regular calibus for most unusual purposes. He's so annoyed by them. He put on a very special

double-brusted jacket for this scene. Why do they take time to show that background? Because they're going to blow something. Yeah, they blow it up. I wouldn't go so far as to say that. The workmanship is undemonding, according to our standards. Soft 23-carried gold

with traces of... Fecl matter. ...ne hardly ever used in Europe. Comes from India. What, nickel? Far East. Oh, Far East. We're lucky he didn't say Inja.

Nickel content obviously too low, 007. Lazar? Why does Bond selectively not know this shit? Right? He didn't have a microscope at home. Highly specialized? Yes, I concur. Of course we blow up a wall.

Okay. Not what. Who? Portuguese lives in Macau. Portuguese. Who made the bullet, double us? It's every made the bullet. I love how they're so patronizing.

Do pay attention. How British am I? I said, Bond. So they go to Macau, which, have anybody been to Macau at this table? No, but Bond has. Very exciting. Very exotic. Well, Jeff and I had a long conversation about whatever kind of dumbwaiter basket gambling.

Okay. I was going to say, you have to gamble in a basket if you go to Macau. There's people on the ground playing some sort of. of weird domino pachinko right so are the people above betting on who's gonna win down below and there's monkeys but you can also get a pack of smokes yeah yeah yeah what there's some gum i want to know more about high low basket game yeah what is that it's like is that cambodian sip water that's high fat gal i don't know i mean i mean i i need to go to macao if i ever do for any reason end up in Macau on my travel, so my

itinerant wanderings, I want to walk into a building, and I want a fucking basket game. Yeah, you do. Yeah. I want a monkey, and I want some opium, and... And I want a cigarette box full of bullets. Yeah. There are two Macau casinos and Bond movies, and the difference between them is stark. By the way... What's your one with a Schiff?

No, it's Skyfall. Oh, she goes, yeah. Yeah, well, here's something I notice watching this movie. I feel like James Bond has run out of places to go. Yeah. Because there's a lot of imagery in this that comes up later. And I don't know if it's callbacks or

if they're just like, fuck, we've been everywhere. I think so, too, because this is also when they start making the movies by location scouting. That's their first concern is where to go. You were saying those islands that Skaramanga lives on were not really known at the time of now. This movie put them on the map. Oh, and they're so stunning.

That's one of the best parts of the movie. The scenery at the end is fantastic. When they're getting ahead of ourselves, when they're flying that awesome plane, that floor plane, And a beautiful flying through those, like the atolls out there. Yeah. I'm almost certain that, is it John Barry?

Yeah. Does the music? For a moment, absolutely steals Rogers and Hammerstein South Pacific and that is... Oh, it's probably likely. There's a valley high amount. I mean, God, he steals living and let die for the own score when you see... J.W. Pepper. Yeah.

But you're called the James Bond Islands. That's the, like, informal name. Yeah, even when you go there. Go to the James Bond Island. Which islands? The Islands. Bond. James Bond.

Islands. Islands. James Bond Island. Elephant shoes. You're just saying. Elephant shoe, too. Elephant shoe too. Also olive juice.

I love juice. So James tracks down Lizarre. Discovers that he has he's dropping off the bullets in Macau at the casino. They go play the weird basket game. We can't figure out what it is. And then

he needs to find, he used to track Mod Adams. We all need to talk mod Adams. Five foot nine, you guys. Oh yeah. So we get,

Easy Greg. She's the... That's octopusy. She still lives in L.A., and she still looks fantastic. Yeah, I saw her recently with Britt Eklund. I took a photo with them,

and Brett Ecclin was a huge, like... Baring the lead? Yeah. Baring the lead here? I went to some music of Bond event like a couple years ago,

as before I knew you are. Oh, thanks, funny. Thanks. But I took a picture with them, and Britt Eklund was just, no, give it to me. Give me the camera. Okay, look, you have to point it down. You can't, no, it has to be this way. It has to be this way.

And Maude Adams couldn't have been more elegant and genial. She was so... Did she throw you one? Yeah. We went in a supply closet, twisted around each other a little bit like a couple of red vines. And her words. Her words. Wow.

This is the introduction of... If you want to see all of Maude Adams, there's a really creepy movie from the 70s called tattoo with Bruce Stern. I do. I do. You get to see the morning do. The morning do. You get to see everything. Coconuts, the whole enchilada.

Yeah, yeah. It is. Her words. She is. She's superb. So James tracks. And in a bunch of James Bond movies, probably more than any other person. Three of them. Yeah. Yeah. Got a little cameo in view to a kill. Or cameo, she's just an

extra, really. Because like a feet... They just put her in as a... She was on set. visiting. I think I have a theory that Cubby Broccoli was maybe he had a little thing for her because he kept bringing her back. Him and a good deal of the Northern Hemisphere. Yeah, yeah. I also just found out something, forgive me, I don't

remember who sent this to me on Twitter, but I'll try to find it. He directed me to a link for the guy that produced the Three Stooges. I can't remember his name. Do you know by name? Ted Healy? Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Was he? Yes. Well, he died, but

He was in a fight hours before that. Are you sure someone just didn't pull his hair and it hurt really bad? Did someone take pliers to his nose? Yeah. So there's this whole deal where he got in a fight and they didn't know if the fight had something to do with that. And later, Cubby Broccoli admitted to being one of the people that was in the fight was in the fight with it. He was British, yeah. Yeah, but the coroner did not rule the fight as the cause of death, but it happened hours before.

Wow. And Cubby Broccoli was one of the people that was. Maybe he got his head ironed. Nah. Yeah. Yeah. La la. All right.

You know what it was? He asked for some coffee and Curley put too much sugar in it. It's alum. Alam. Yeah, Alam. There was always the joke. I just want to hear James Bond refer to a car as an inverted bedpan, which we'll hear right now. Maude Adams is also awesomely in the movie Roller Ball, which is another movie that came out exactly at the same time as this.

Yep. And Christopher Lee couldn't do time. Tommy because he did this movie and he was on location. Who was he going to be in Tom? He was going to be the doctor that Jack Nicholson plays in the movie. Oh, wow. I think he made the right choice. Roller Ball, there's another one.

Wow. I've never seen that. Roller Ball, the best first 15 minutes of any movie ever had. And then there's a bunch of rich people blowing up trees. The middle of it's tedious, but the games are awesome. The games are really awesome. Because they really are playing with Roller Dubby guys and they play the game. It's pretty fun.

Watch the first 20 minutes of Roller Ball and it's heaven on earth. From Houston, the Energy City. After we're done with James Bond movies, let's just do the early 70s. We'll do roller bonding. We'll just do the early 70s. If we did nothing but early 70s movies, I'll be here every week. It's my wheelhouse. Noted.

We haven't mentioned how awesome the Queen Elizabeth liner is that they use the MI6. Oh, yeah. And build those. We haven't gotten there. That's really clever. We went by it on the boat. Yeah, we got some ground to cover. Okay.

But I just want to hear him say inverted bed pan. Madam, would you be good enough to move this inverted bedpan? I'm sorry, I'm late, James. But you're signalled from a car only just reached the office. You're a great help, good night. Now, get on to the licence bureau and trace that car. A.U. 603, a green rose. A green rose.

N.G. A green Rose Royce. There can't be that many in Hong Kong. What? Why did she laugh? Because she knows that they all belong here. Courtesy cars. All green Rollstroises belong to the Peninsula Hotel.

You see what a two-year posting to staff intelligence that's for a girl? James. It makes her hair manageable. She's having a lorry-out moments. I need some information. Got a shit a bullet. Look at the lining of his coat. Oh, it's fantastic.

It's gorgeous. Oh, my God, it's like a boutique. For the 70s, not bad suits. The 70s have some pretty shady. I love the suit suit. later's bad, but some of the double-rested things are fabulous. Yeah, they managed mostly to keep He's also really thin there still. Yeah.

He hasn't gained the weight that he later in the moonraper and shit he's When they go to the Queen Elizabeth liner and hip, his counterpart there has a double-breasted suit with lapels that are basically extending past his shoulders. Flying away. They're crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's like the 40s. The 70s are like the 40s with the giant, giant lapels. Fat ties. Fat, fat ties

and flat. Fat ties in this movie. So James has tracked the Golden Bullets to Mada. Adams. Mod Adams takes them. He tracks her down to her tellroom, and then he beats information out of her. I like that part. I do, too. He certainly slaps her around.

Yeah. You know what? Sometimes... I think you had to do it. Am I all right? And I don't want to offend anyone in your audience. When they're asking for it, there's a look in their eye. Well, they won't come clean with the info.

Dude, I'm on a mission. I got stuff to do for the government of the queen. I think it tracks with the character of James Bond to do that. Yeah. Oh, no, he's cool. It doesn't track with Roger Moore. No, that's the difference. If Sean Connery, you always believed in the sadism.

And I think that's the key to James Bond's Bond, is that he's sadistic. What I don't like about... There's a big problem for me at this movie. By this point in the movie, you realize there's not going to be any money spent on any of the locations. It's all really chinty-looking. Like, when you go through that little house of horror is that Skidarmond's in place, you see duct tape?

You see wiring stick out? Yeah. It's really shitty. They spend money on the locations. They don't spend much money seemingly on... Decorating production design, yeah. Except when you get that control... I think the control room is really cool looking.

This is also production designed by a one-off guy. I can't remember his name. So it's not Ken Adam, who's amazing, and it's not Peter Lamont. And this is what's his name's last picture, right? In the chain, Guy Hamilton? Guy Hamilton, yeah. It's the last one.

He helms, as it were. Yeah. He'll under, what, Terry Young or whatever after that. No, it's Lewis Gilbert for another two. And Ben, John Glenn, right? The amazing John Glenn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, he figures, I got Mod Adams

and Brut Ehrlichland running around in this movie. No one's going to be looking at the duct tape. It's not a lot of view. Except for a young Jeff Davis. So they go to the bottoms up club Where the women tape their hair to their breasts I love it And

Are we gonna get to see the beating at all? Which beating? Oh sure, yeah Which beating? I'm sorry, V beating Which is a lot of beatings in this movie Here we go We're supposed to believe Roger Moore can physically take Maud Adams Yeah, he can take his own wife He can carry a government warning

Yeah Give me that I'm not attracted to Mott Adams Oh really? You know why, Jeff? She's more than you can handle. Smash! Ah, ha! You're hurting my arm.

I'll break it unless you tell me where those bullets go. I can't. In a gun. Cry. Don't kill me. Oh. Scary hang go. You're not attracted to Mono.

I don't like the manish jawline thing. That's all I like. I'm kind of on board with. You see what you can do when you try. I'll take my Brett Eklund any day. over my... Oh, Brett, Unclean. She's so dumb in this.

Yeah, he is. I don't work for him. His arm... I'm his. So he's a lover, too. Reggie Moore's hair is fucking awesome in this. Bullfighters do the same thing. I got it bad for him.

Look at that. I mean, come on. His eyes on me. Where can I find him? There's a line. I don't know. Yeah, you do. Oh, someone's going to get hit again.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I said where. I don't know where. He doesn't tell me everything. I know he has a date to the bottom's up. club tonight. You're saying you don't love one of items? She can take a punch like that?

That incredulous correct proofs. You don't love her? Look at the way she's being beaten. Maybe I'm revealing a little more than I want to about myself. She's very your type, though. She's got a bit of Jennifer in her, too. I was going to say, giant brunats are really in my wheelhouse. Me too. So he tracks...

I'm looking at you, Jeff Davis. Elephant shoes. You're a little too giant. That is what she said. So he's tracked to the bottoms up club where James is assuming that he's going to find Skarmanga, but what he doesn't realize is that Skarmanga is there, but with a contract on someone else entirely. Oh my goodness. Tricky Dickens.

So what ensues is James getting arrested by a guy who we're like, oh my God, what's happening? He's so creepy. If you take the trouble to examine that gun, you'll notice it hasn't been fired. Anything you have to say, you can say at the station. Pulling up in a Land Rover? Why would Bond go quietly? He never goes quietly in any other movies. It's pure plot convenience.

Well, you know. Also, he could have told him right there. Hey, come with me. I'm on the same team. Oh, but he says why he doesn't. Because he goes, you, you, uh... Asian police have no authority in Asia, okay? Yeah, there's some bad cover about how they...

I didn't know how much you knew or whatever. Yeah. So... He thinks he's in from Russia with Love. Here we are in the awesome boat. It's such a great. Great set. I thought the salvage fighter plane was going to come back somehow.

No, just some set pieces. Good evening, 207. This could be like a surrealist. Fellini film. Yeah, the way they've tilted everything. Yeah. He often has an Asian... Goathe...

...Leyasong. Tiger Tanaka and... ...I don't know my man here, Lieutenant Hitt. Sorry, Commander. I had to get you away from the Hong Kong police but didn't know how much you knew. There you are. Nothing.

Notice he's commander, because he's in the Royal Navy. Scaramanga does not have a contract on me. He couldn't have missed me tonight. Instead of he hit some chap coming out of a club. Some chop. I got quite a shock when I saw who it was. I should think you did. I should think you did.

Ah, missing solar energy expert, Gibson. Yes, Gibson. Why is Q here? What is Q doing in this scene? You never know when you need some more shit? He never know when you need a scolding. If I remember correctly, this is where he writes down third nipple and hands it to Q. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For the... Oh, is that way he's there so we can get the third nipple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is dumb. It's super dumb. D-U-M. So, well, let's just go ahead and skip into, uh, we're just about to meet, uh, J.W. Pepper. Oh, boy. Are we skipping through high fat? I was going to say, oh, you want to hear some high fat?

No, I've said, did we, have we got to the, we haven't, no, we haven't got to the fights on the, on grizzly, I, no, no, no, uh. Grizzly land. With the, like, the sumo wrestlers and the little, little hervee, as opposed to the other kind. I'd also like to point out that in the early movies, he's driving in Aston Martin, and now we're driving General Motors automobiles that are basically on for sale during this movie. That's like when Brazzan had to drive those BMWs. Please head to the lobby to meet your GM salesperson. It'll be out there to take your name. I hope I can buy a Matador after this movie.

Just like James Bond. Let's go out to the lobby and buy ourselves a car. Which car that Christopher Lee flies? That's an AMC car, too. Yeah, that's a pacer, right? A pacer. I don't know if it is, but it is an AMC. Yeah.

And he puts Brid Eaulecklin on the truck. and whatnot. Yeah. As we all would like to, I believe. Grand view with the misogyny on this episode. It's not just misogyny. It's good times. You have to remember this is a long time ago.

Hard to separate. Things were different then, and it was cool. In due time, I shall be laid to rest here in my mausoleum. After a useful, happy long life. And I do not intend to allow Mr. Bond to shorten it. How about that summer suit? with the slash pockets. Yeah, a cream suit is hard to pull.

Oh, yeah. So what you just heard was high fat. Yeah. Who is a wealthy businessman who wants to get solar energy, right? That's the plot here? Is the dancer? Who's who's Chew me? She's the swimming lady.

Chew me. Chew me. Come on. Jesus Christ. It got worse. There was Miss Goodhead a couple of movies later. Yeah, Holly Goodhead. It got worse.

What we put together for the first time on this podcast, We didn't even consider this as a double entendre. In the first movie, his girlfriend's name is Sylvia Trench. It's so straightforward you don't even consider it as a double entendre. Trench. Diminger Forever. Someone's got a name, too. Plenty O'Too. Yeah, plenty O'T.

That's like Dick Tracy. Yeah, absolutely. Or a garbage pail kid. Oh. All right, J.W. Pepper. J.W. Pepper's coming up here. This guy, I want to punch. This is the best part.

Give me that time-traveling phone and let me go to... Do you realize he did a set of car commercials too? He was a star off the back of this. He really was. He's in untouchables. He's the judge in untouchables. Oh, yeah? I have a sauce spot for this guy.

I really do. And even the character a little bit. And carrying the handkerchief around and whatnot. Yeah. I believe we're supposed to understand he's on a holiday in the Far East with his lovely wife. Yeah, his Democrat wife. It has no more idea of traffic control than a goony bird. Zing.

Has no more idea about a traffic control than a goony bird. See, but you have to understand, we're making fun of the ugly American abroad. Just like with the Maud Adams scene. Man, I believe what we skipped over. Yes. Maybe not. When he gets in that little sandpan, that little boat with the crazy motors, with the vitamin mix blender blend on the end of it.

The crux snake. And he's holding them at bay. Have we skipped the, when he's fled the dojo after kicking ass? We did, yeah, yeah, yeah, but in that powder blue game. And so there's four guys in the riverbank, and he takes the outboard motor, which is 20 feet long, and it was a spinning blender on the end of it. And he calls it, I believe it's what they can. The chew schoolgirls are awesome.

Come on. Is that good fun or what? Yeah, very cherry. And super hot. Yeah. With a melon. I forgot to tell you, their father runs the dojo. Oh, this guy's active.

This guy's active. Watch this. Right in the gnoble. I don't know if Roger Moore is acting. Is that he better in the scene? Hong Kong, Jim Carrey, here we go. Oh, dear. My hero.

Should we chase him now or wait to look up to the bridge? Gotta-da-da-da-da-da-da. I love this score. Okay, he has the line when he gets in the boat. This is one of his worst. This is the exact cue that we use for the theme song. That's fantastic. Hello.

His politeness to close the door for the ladies. That's pretty funny. The guy makes the Lieutenant High think that, Lieutenant Hip think that he's in the car. That's the whole reason he, goes on this next chase is because he's forgotten in a car. Really contrived. So, okay, here we go.

This is also coming up. Oh, yeah, here's the vitamins. Here's the line. What you might call a Mexican screw-off? What? A Mexican screw-off. Oh, you guys aren't familiar with the Mexican screw-off? It's what you might call a Mexican screw-off. Is he playing up?

It's not what you would call a Mexican standoff? I wouldn't call anything a Mexican-Stand-off, but it's a screw because it's right. That one, you know, was written on set. Try this one. Try this one. It'll be killer. Cut perfect.

Moving on. And fuck it. Let's go. Next set up. So then he goes on to the little boy comes with the elephant. So between him shoving, getting the boy to help him and then shoving him off the boat, beating Mod Adams. I think this movie is James Bond at his worst. Yeah, he's pretty nasty in this one.

He was said in one of the interviews, like, he's not very proud of that moment as the ambassador for UNICEF. He shows the little boy. And especially since Audrey Hepburn. and gave him the post, right? Yeah, yeah. There's something I want you to do for him, Roger. Let's take over this position for me. Well, I'd be happy to, Audrey.

Now, of course, James' robe is made of blue terry cloth. Evidently, there was a warehouse of blue terry. And when he kicks the guy in the face kind of unceremoniously and ungentlemanly, like, he's wearing powder blue as well. Follow the blueberry cloth. Listen to Matt's inner monologue. Must wear blue terry cloth. God, I love it.

What is the scene, too, where Britt Eklund is putting up a protest, and then she suddenly goes, I'm weak. Yeah. Remember that? Oh, that's in the bedroom, right? He tries to get her in bed, and she's like, no, she leaves him at dinner. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then she, you came around a little faster than I thought.

She goes, yeah, I guess my hard to get act didn't really hold up. What changed your mind? I was, I'm weak. Yeah, I'm nothing. Wow. We're in this movie. That's what changed my mind. I believe she says it's not her scene in one point, which then you know it's the 70s.

It's not your bag and it's not your scene. You get off your trip. This next exchange we're about to see is my favorite exchange between Scarmon. Her hair is lustrous. Oh, I know you're driving. Yeah. So. Jesus, she's a dope in this.

She's one of the worst actors in a Bond movie she's bad. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's right up there with Hallie Berry. Oh, Holly Berry. You still don't like Mont Adams? Postmortem? You are the creepy. I was just trying to be funny and entertaining.

We've had dead Herbie Villages on the show. How creepy you're going to get? We called him, though, in the past. He was alive. Matt Adams is still alive as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to steal that anyway. It must be in here somewhere. Dear I saw the man in the shop give it to you.

This is a great one, strange. This is a ticket. We can't get a receipt for customs. You won't find it in there, Mr. Bond. I look before you can. I wouldn't do that either. Look behind you. Gone.

Lower. Lower. Not altogether threatening. A gun in a bag of peanuts, how original. What will they think of next? Look how deadpan. Herve is. He underplays it.

He's watching the fight. My name is Scaramanga. And I'm better looking than you. I feel I know you. Although I never thought we should ever really meet. It's a very great pleasure for me, Mr. Bond. He's so good. He's fabulous.

You have a strange. way of showing your gratitude. A mistress cannot serve two masters. I hear that, boys. The difficult shot, but most gratifying. Well, we all get our jollies one way or another. Because it's the 70s, we get jollies. When I was a boy, I was brought up in a circus.

My only real friend was a magnificent African bull elephant. Okay. I'll never forget that elephant. One day his handler mistreated him and he went to serp. Leading. Let me talk. You guys tasseled loafers. He came and found me.

Stood on one leg, his best trick. Pick me up and hook me on his back. What's doing? I'd like to buy some peanuts. The gun to his eye. I emptied my stage pistol into his. An eye for an eye. Not.

So they have the solar plex. Is that what it's called? The overstruster. Agitator. Solex. The solar plex is a workout device. The flex capacitor. The arc of the cover.

it. The MacGuffin. So now, at this point, at this point, mission accomplished. They got what they needed to get. Let's just get out of it. All they have to do is leave. And curtain.

Oh, but no. Britt Eklund has to put a... You dumbass. Brett Ecclind decides... She has the magnetic tracking device. Stick it under the bumper like everybody else does. You don't have to open... Not only does she open the trunk,

she takes a year to look in the trunk and then acts like she doesn't know what her hands She's like, what device in thing? Like, Brett, go, go, go, go. But a bit heavy on the Scandinavian models. Two girls from Sweden in this one. So, Lieutenant, they have to chase her down now in the back of Scarboroughs car. Do you have to?

Oh, look at that car. That color. You never see that color anymore. Is it pewter? What is it? Like, bronzy. A whole new driving experience. The AMC, Madador.

The AMC, it's an actual showroom in the movie. How much product plays in it? I don't want to say in the 70s, but David Sol's driving the car. What the hell is no one else? Chewant-Gibald. That secret agent, that Ingleish secret agent from England. The one on all the magazine covers. The world's best kept secret.

They got a statue of you and... The comedy never stops in this one. You remember in the one before when they were in the boat race and boat chasing? He goes, he's a secret agent. He goes, for who's sad? That's what it is. For who's sad. Chef J.W. Pepper, nobody cuts in runs.

I saw that, you some bitch. I'm going to barbecue your ass and molasses. All right. Are you skipping head because we've got to talk about that corkscrew stunt. Let's talk about it. Yes, please. Let's talk about it. One of the greatest stunts and one of the most disappointing bits of audio.

I was going to say the audio completely undermines the stunt. Notorious bad call. I think John Barry has even said we shouldn't have done. No, they shouldn't. Because the stunt is extraordinary. Why is that John Barry's job to put that sound effect? I think they made him do it at the time. They thought it would... This was kind of a comedy-ass Bond movie if you notice. It's not played for

thrills. The slide whistle on the corkscrews. Yeah, yeah. So this is the first stunt ever designed by computer. Yeah, that's true. The physics of it. Yeah. So I had to figure out if they could flip an AMC Matador fresh out of the showroom. The interior of this car, the driver is lying down

in the middle. Matador means killer. You can't name your car. the killer. Yes, you can. What about the tarrag? What does that mean? There's a, there's an SUV named a Torag. They're just a nomadic tribe, but it means like, you know. Yeah, and Tigwan. Isn't it a...

There's a showgun as well. Great cars. Check out the clean, TDI clean diesel, Passat. Oh, I'll get some good gasoline on that. Great brand of cars. Oh, okay. Great brand of cars. Love them. So, yeah, so what we're, we're at a bridge that is built weirdly.

Like, there's no reason for that bridge. When a bridge might be blown up Because it might have been some sort of civil unrest How it is blown up in a way That makes it a perfect helix Yeah, yeah, like some of the pylons Are longer than the others Yeah, all of a sudden

I have no problem with that Because this movie's so heightened And I love just seeing The perfect corkscrew shape But then disguised as the dilaparated Like Universal Studios Bridge It is that's great I love this

I'm just grooving on his summer suit with the epaulet So the driver lies down and his pedals are in the back of the car. And he's completely in the center. The steering wheel is in the center because it has to be entirely symmetrical and balanced. Wow. Yeah. Oh, we do have to. I got to hear that real quick one more time.

Just Roger, Roger Moore's American accent. It's so good. Oh, that's right. Oh, damn. What's going on? What the hell you're doing now, boy? A furious chew in his mouth. That is awesome.

You're not thinking. I sure am, boy. Yeah. A lot of evil can evil. Oh no. Perfect. He lands in exactly. And they really did do that style.

It's a beautiful style. If you did that now and you did it CG, you wouldn't make it that perfect. No. It looks too, it looks too right. And if I remember correctly, the story from the story from the... thing was that Covey Broccoli walked over to the stuntman after he did it first take and just handed him a hundred dollar bill. Oh really?

For like a bonus for doing it. A hundred dollars. The story is that he said it looked very perfect. Could we do it again? And that guy goes, no. Yeah. That's what you get. Yeah.

It's an amazing stunt. Sorry if it's too perfect for you. A slide whistle though. Oh my goodness. You're shit in me. But it's like, it's weird. It's like one of those scenes like in saving private Ryan when an explosion goes off and the grenade suddenly just makes everything silent

the ear ringing, all you hear is a fucking slide whistle. There's nothing, all the other sound cuts out. I would love a recut of saving private rhyme with a bunch of slidewis. When all the gates come down and the landers on the line, the borders.

Splash. When Adam Goldberg is slowly getting the knife driven into his chest, meo. Uh-oh, looks like the American been doing trouble. Ever heard of evil-coneval?

Earn this. Ever heard of evil-ceneer. Here's some other... Fuck you. And it's just so that they can have the joke of the sheriff being thrown into the backseat, which is supposed to paralyze you with laughter at that point. And it sure did. A lot of kids laughing back then.

We thought it was funny. So they track with the tracker that Holly... Not Holly. Mary Goodnight. Mary Goodnight. Holly Goodhead. Yeah. I got my good night.

That's, I understand. Good night, good head. That was the original, yeah, name for Clooney's Academy Award winning piece. Who was it? Good night, good head. Was it Murrow? Who had that sign off? Good night, good luck.

Edward R. Murrow. Yeah. Good night and good head. I'm Ed Wood Morrow. Good night. I'm good head. So we're just about to get to the climax of this movie. I wish.

I'm Edward R. Trench. That trench. You can call me newsy galore. Newsy galore. And as Eisenhower steps down at his final day of his presidency, we bid you good night and good head. My name is Chin Reedswell. Oh, God. I'm cleft sewer love.

What sewer love? Well, it just happened. So James, now they know where he is. Samantha Drinkbeave. Oh. Drink beve. Drink beef. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, God. Samantha drink beef. Hi, I'm Grand Canyon. Here's my sister's foxhole. I will say once James Bond lands the plane and gets a, it's the best Roger Moore has ever looked in a James Bond really is when he gets out. And the plane is awesome. It has to be said. Look at that. That's high you could serve dinner on.

Look at that. He looks good there. He's hot stuff. He's good hair. That's an ironing board, not a time. Yeah. Also, that's the best part when he flies through the, you get a little scenery there. It's nice.

He takes his coat with him. He takes his coat with him. Honey, honey, I'm going to lunch. I'm a gentleman. Because there is lunch later on. Lunch will be served. I am Nicknack. Nicknack's original character name was Demetas.

Nah. Yeah. Oh, 602. Really, that's funny. Yeah. Still? Pizza bag of peanuts. But your Skaramanga will welcome you personally.

I couldn't resist it. Forgive me, Mr. Bond. A vulgar display, but I couldn't resist it. Tabasco! Because I am so delighted to see you again. There is originally a second little person named Tabasco. Cholula! Cigas!

Siracho! Chipotley flavor! We have so much in common, Mr. Bargoneys. Hulk. Poupon! Oh, my goodness. Worcesters our sauce. Nutella.

Bovril. Bovril. Remember bovril? Vagely. So James comes to the island. He's going to rescue Goodnight, and he's going to get the Solex back. By the way, Goodnight has been chopped at the island with Skowman. Evidently just sort of hanging around in a bikini for weeks.

He needs a new lady. She's admitted that she's weak. Yeah. Yeah. She's very weak. Also, by the way, she's supposed to be an acting British agent in the field, by the way. In case at this point you've forgotten entirely what her character is supposed to. Why is she not doing any kind of reconnaissance or sabotage? And her hair is bitching.

And then when he meets her and she's like, this is what you learn being in your feet. You're like, you're the stupidest person that's ever been in a Bond movie. Like, I don't think there's another character in any of the movies that provides more or less information. I would be. I would agree with that. She is the dumbest character. Of all the agents, usually the agents go, I found the thing. Come with me and then they get shot.

She's just like, hey, I've been here for a couple weeks. It's pretty awesome. It's wearing some heels. And she's bumble-and-all. Also, don't think of like women. When she goes in the truck, they actually do an eye roll. It's like, God, women. Right.

Really shitty. Oh, there's our album art right there. Our podcast art comes from this. Except. Here's to us, Mr. P. P. As soon as I said what we do. This is lunch. Nick Mac is prepared.

Oh, my favorite line. She comes in in the bikini and goes, I like a girl in the bikini. No concealed weapon. That you know of. Look at that shot. This is Andrew Al-A-Lamore.

That's a great shot. Duol Al-A-Lamon. Only one of you can leave the feel of honor. The outfit they've given her right here is awesome. He's good address is necessary. As you're referring, he's Andrew Jackson's valid. I will not ministered myself.

I do not expect. Hello. Look at Craw. Yeah, Craw's just given the one. once over to Brit. Her tummy is shocking. Her acting is shocking. Oh, no, she's made to be...

Her abs are as flat as her performance. Oh, no, no, yeah. You could surf on her. Look how tall. Here we are. Ready. Well, because isn't Roger Moore like 6-3? Yeah, Roger Moore's strong.

Yeah, he's not quite that, but... Dalton's the tallest. Is he? Yeah. I know, I wouldn't have thought. Connery's not? No, probably is like 6-1. I will say this.

So I was in Vegas the last week, and I just, you know, foolishly, I decided to go into the planet of Hollywood just to see what they got, hanging on the wall. And the Skyfall tuxedo was there. Oh, that's where you sent me from. Daniel Craig, yeah, Daniel Craig's

tuxedo from Skyfall is there. Short? I could have probably fit into that, but my socks would have been showing. Oh, he's short. Yeah, yeah. He's not that short, is he? He is.

He's like 5'9. He's like, he's like, he's like a curvy village size. Yeah, I know when he's that's much. He probably goes by 511. He probably says. As he's 5-11. Look at the scenery in this scene now.

There's no way he's 5-11. Sensational. I got to look that up. Okay. Matt's going to look up. Yeah, Bridgland. She's rocking good news in this. But, oh, my goodness.

She's got that Goldie Hahn body. The delivery, though. And when she's just standing there, she's like, glurf. You're like, what's happening? Are you okay? And Kraw, who looks enough like Jesse Jackson for my money, his character, they become pals at some point. Yeah.

According to the Internet, which we know to be absolutely accurate. Oh, no question. At all times. Yeah, go ahead. Lays and B. 6-2. Moore is 6-1 Brosnan's 6-1 Connery's 6-1 and a half

There's no way Pierce Broson is 6-1 I've seen him in person And he's 5'8 foot foot 9 I've seen that graphic before Let me find this other one Okay here we go Because I feel like Connery's Well then Tom Cruise is 6-1

If Pierce Brosnan's 6-1 If Pierce Brosnan's 6-1 I can see he's being tall No He's not that tall He's not that tall He stands He's really good looking

Oh yeah He is dead good Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's all right. If you like Steadley dudes with lantern jaws and lots of hair. Timothy Dalton, not a great bond, but he was young with line in winter. He was like just, wow. Yeah, oh no, he's like, he's like a model good-looking. How tall do you think each of the five James Bonds are?

This must be pre-I don't know. All right, don't wait for me. Go ahead. Don't cry for me. Please don't. Lays and be six foot two. These are all different. No, no. Oh, you've gone, you know what you went to, erroneousfacts.com.

I did. Well, that's where I go every time. Hear say. Claptrap. Gobbledygook.org. But it's where President Romney, what? Wait, what? Yeah.

What, President Romney? What? That's right. You mean President Palin. I just want to, let's just hear Mick, Mac. All right, Mr. Bonn. Miss your bon. I was raised in a circus, my favorite elephant.

So, for dear, Mr. Bung. Monsieur, good, your thing. I've never killed a major before, but there can always be a first time. Oh, monsieur. And then I think he checks him out, right? You know, he skip past the creepy moment when he's on the bed and he gets really weird with Brett Eklah. It's just starting to, you know. I put up a vine a lot.

Yeah, that's really funny. Now you're finally. Tell the truth, and then he does this look. Like his ludes just kicked him. This is prime lewd era, by the way. There were ludes on this. Oh, no, this is prime lute era. We didn't have your Adderall and your Mali and whatnot then.

We had your ludes and your tie stick. Your bennies, your dexies. Oh, your dexies and vets. Whites, cross tops. Rainbows are ludes. Yeah, we had a lot of great. Your drink beaves? Yeah, we had drink beaves.

There's Tiffany Huff Crutch. We were drinking tequila sunrises and hard. Harvey wallbangers, rusty nails. Tequila Sunrise is one of the most vile drinks of all time. You want tequila to churn more in your stomach. Put some orange juice in it. So James... And do a line, because that'll really kick it in.

With the help of Nick Mac. Tia Maria. James gets into the... I don't know what we'll call it, the game field. Yeah, what... The shooting range. And now he goes underneath. He drops his gun into an abyss.

Yeah. Which just echo, echo, echo, and Skaramanga's like, I've never heard that sound before. Who's Stalin behind him? Right. What is that? That's probably the trainer that killed the elephant. So I sharpened the eye. I emptied my pistol.

An eye for an eye is such an awful line. This one really, o'f. So here's my question now. So James now gets out of, gets out from under there. Fines his gun. Fines, or just grabs the gun from the James Bond Manich? the gut James Bond wax figure is using a real gun. And while you're glossing over the time.

That's loaded, by the way. He had time to get into that mannequin's costume. Time to get into that suit. Well, maybe he just put the coat on. Maybe. We don't know. It is pretty ingenious. But I feel like James Bond's the kind of guy who would then take that mannequin home.

Yeah. Yeah. Spoil before. Are they looking? The bad Capone? Al, wherever you are. And by the way, fun house. Really, you guys?

I know. This is in Asia, and an island layer. And he's built a fun house with Star Trek lighting. With the most Star Trek lighting I've ever seen in the James Bond picture. Yeah, really?

That's the Salt Planet, where McCoy... Me no cute. Powder blue. Scaramunga wearing powder blue. Or it's the lighting. Now you see his fingers are there, guys, so we know something's up. Oh, yeah.

Suck it. That was a hammer horror dying take. there by the way. Yeah, really. That was a straight-up vampire take. Wonderful. Uncerebonious. He had a powerful weapon, but now he's lying there in the floor.

A little more brutal. Did he come before? There we go. I wonder if he came before the kill. That was that... She does look tremendous in the bikini. That was not a death scene. And her hair is fantastic.

Petite death. Oh, no. Absolutely zero must be maintained at all kinds. No, that's from Dr. No. This one is... Prompt criticality. Pronged, it's like pure jargon. Prompt criticality.

Also, by the way, again, may I point out that she's... There. Absolutely, zero must be tainted to prevent. Prompt criticality. So it will very quickly go critical. She's an agent and secret agent, and we've already established that if anything goes in these pools... These completely uncovered, exposed to the elements... Liquid helium.

Inviting. If the temperature rises a degree... Above 432... two degrees. Notwithstanding the giant sign that's been there, the whole movie that says absolute zero. And also, you know that you put a black man in some helium. You know it's going to drop that temperature. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the fastest way to drop a temperature. She knocks him in, and then later, I believe, activates the device with her butt. Yep. She sure does. Because she's the world's greatest secret agent. Because she's Lucasello in this one. I'm a bad boy.

We just, there's probably a bad secret aging. There's probably a line of, uh, a line of, of dialogue that was cut out of the film where she's like um's niece or something what she's like no it seems like yeah i want look after her look after her she's my niece after all you know her father tried but uh we have her now she she looks sensation the bikini there's no question and high heels which is awesome yeah i mean that bikini is rocking good as this stuff starts blowing this is like an she's dressed for the hard rock pool yeah this is an lL cool j video outfit heels and a bikini heels tall bikini small

Oh, boy. She said she liked the ocean. When all this starts blowing up and she's running out, she's really afraid for her life. And when she falls down, you can see it. They kept it in. She's really falling. And she hurts her. She falls right on her kneecaps. This is not a good fall. Oh, ouch, out. Oh, and the thing's blowing up. And I hate when they leave actors, like, getting hurt in movies. I just saw, for some reason, I'd never seen Return on the Living Dead, which is hilarious.

And they don't tell the girl that the stairs are broken apparently. And she really hurts herself. Yeah. When they leave it in. They got to do this whole scene. You haven't seen Return When they done alone? That's great. I showed that at Las Halloween.

Ooh, my butt. So it's very, oh, yeah. She's completely worthless in the scene. No, I mean, she turns on the nuclear thing with her butt. Great, great stunt. That's a great stunt. Here it is. This is the exact.

Look, she's beautiful for her. Yeah, but it's when they run out. Great miniature work. Here it goes. Yep. Bing. Ow. Oh.

Wow. And then he leaves her behind. My ankles, my knees. I landed on my knees. Keys. She landed on her bikini. I think he asked her if she likes... This way.

This way. She's finally useful. His junk was moored before this movie got going. Moore's junk. It's Roger Moore's junk. It's Roger Moore's junk. Ha. I love the way Hervey Village just bites the knife when he's coming out of this.

Oh, he bites it totally wrong. He bites the edge. Yeah, he bites the edge. The sharp edge. Also, what, he's insider here and he's watching. This is not how you bite a knife. You bite the non-sharp parts. Jeff Davis, knife-biter.

Also, that would be terrifying. And, you see, hang out there. Ouch! And first he gets it with his tongue, too. Mm-hmm. Look at that shitty. You could also put the handle in your mouth if you were. Yeah.

Now, why would you do that? Also, he just took it right out to hold it again. It was not... How often did this happen at Peter Sellers' house? Let's get into this for a row. She must have been so used to midgets dropping from the theater. Let's get ready to exploit short people. Kick of the shins.

I'm smart. Roll into the couch. I hate you. Breakaway chair. He brings the chair into an H-shaped that's perfectly suited for this task. Is this in the script? Her day? Am, what's he trying to do?

his eyes out under there? Oh, Mr. Bond. And he just pushes him and then he runs over to the wine case. This only lacks yakety sacks playing. Empty wine. Oh, and by the way, bare feet.

Yeah, I thought that. Oh, yeah. That would suck. Don't you hurt, Brit Eklund. Shoot for glass. Literally no liquid anywhere. There would be red wine or... Wow.

Look at that groovy stereo on that boat, though. And he finds the right size I found the knick-knack-sized suitcase. And somehow he just goes right in it. He doesn't even have to do anything. He knows. Swash. You'll be sorry.

That's funny. Jaws comes back, but he becomes an ally. This is the only henchman that's gone on. Oh, there's Baron Samaddy from Living Let Die at the front of the train. I love Baron Samadie. Jeff Holder's the greatest, greatest actor of all time. So great. Hello, Skins.

That's what I'm talking about. Name three presidents. Yeah. And I didn't clean up the gloss on the floor either. Roger looks good in this one, man. Yeah, he does. I think he always looks good. His tan's doing the heavy look.

Yeah, his tan is fantastic. He's 46 here. Is he really? Yeah, he's four years older than Connery to begin with. Yeah. He's 45 when he started and live and let die. Our headphones. Oh.

Did we just lose power? Yeah, something happened. I can't hear anything. Now you still hear us? Aristotle hears us. Aristotle hears us. We're going to keep going. And we're still recording?

Okay. Yeah. Listen. I can't hear anything. It's fantastic. I'm taking it off. We're about to dismount anyway. I did get to meet Roger Moore once years ago, and I'll make the story short.

I did Prince Charles 50th birthday. This is years ago. And Robbie Williams had that You Only Live Twice. Yeah, yeah. So I met Desmond Llewellyn, who was sitting backstage, who they'd brought out simply to hand a Walter Peebkeke to Robbie Williams. And Robbie was nice and stuff. And then Roger Moore was talking to see. Stephen Frye, I think, and I were in the dress room all day.

So I barged up to him, and I went, hi, Roger Moore. My name's Greg Proops, and he went, oh, and that was it. I got nothing from him. Desmond Mue Wellen, of course, was really nice. Because he had been on whose line. I don't think he knew who I was or why I felt the temerity to go up and that I had given myself leave to address him. It's what you might call a Mexican screw-off. It was, and I wish I'd said that to him at the time.

His response is that would have just been, oh, oh. as well. No, he was not the politest person. I met Sean Connery, dead polite. I met Britt Acklin, and she was dead polite. But, yeah, Roger Moore, the time of day was not to be given to me. What was your Connery meeting? My friend Mike McShame was in the movie, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.

He played Fryer Tuck, and we all went to lunch one day on the set, the one day that Sean shot, and I got to eat lunch with him that day and that time. So it was pretty good. And he went, hello. And then at the end, we went, goodbye. And Mike went, goodbye, Mr. Conner. nice working through in Sean Conner, but oh, bye-bye. We high-fived for about the rest of the day.

Didn't you see him in the theater and you sit behind him in some movies there? Jennifer went to see Manuad Be King at the Innerbent Film Festival years ago. I was invited to go out a gig that night. So she went with our friend Sue. And he was, this is Scotland in a nutshell. It wasn't a restruck print of the Man Would Be King. It was a crappy print that had hair in the gate and like, you know, the burn, you know, countdown. And then like sepia tone scenes that were ratty.

and as they were coming in and this is Sean Connery's night right and Robert Colliles there like every I'm not a star and Michael Kane was introducing him right so they walk in and she goes someone's vacuuming in the lobby I'll be done on a man

just said he'll just go we've fucking finished that I'm not coming in early so she said Michael King got up and he got a huge hand and he went and now ladies and gentlemen the president of I give you your president and Sean Connery got up 10 minutes of standing up

This is in Edinburgh where he's from, right? And he goes, It was nothing. I mean, Jeff and I always talk about this because Quentin Crisp said there's an element of performing is being able to accept applause, that some performers are about the applause. It's not so much that they're so great, it's not so much anything, is they're able to accept love, unconditional love.

And Jennifer said, Sean Connery stood up there. Michael Kane's a great star, and everybody loved him. Michael Kane has an intellect and edge to him. He's not open to the public. He's, I'm my person. She said, Sean Connery, she stood there for five minutes. And the crowd, the more he stood there, the more of the crowd. His Highlander Lightning came into.

You're standing there, and then, there's nothing. And everybody, ah! So have you met more than two James Bonds? Pierce, and you've seen him in real life. Pierce, I saw at Edinburgh at another, because he's from Edinburgh as well. He's from Ireland. A lot of them are Scottish. And then Roger Moore at touch, so that's how.

God damn. I met two. I met too. I met Tim Dalton. I've met Laysenby. Yeah. He's something. He's really something.

It's hard to not meet. Yeah. Yeah, he really is. He goes out of his way to meet you. I mean, he'll come to your house. He's actually in the comic book store right now. I did waylay Diana Rig once with my wife. She was walking, we went to see Medea.

She was on the West End doing Medea, which is a play for your listeners. And not Tyler Perry's. Yeah. Not Tyler Perry's Medea. The original Medea. And let me tell you something. If you thought being a drag queen and a black drag queen is difficult now, in ancient Greece, so difficult.

When Jason and the Argonauts leave you and you have to kill your children, and you're wearing that, girl, diner-riged. And this is the thing like, great actresses, especially ones that are trained in Britain. Like, I remember, and I'll finish the story very quickly, Angela Lensbury being interviewed on Fresh Air or whatever, and they play her doing Mama Rose and Gypsy, right? And it's that big number at the end. You know, Mama's coming out.

Da-da-da-da-da. And then Terry Gross says to Angela Lensbury. Well, how could you be so emotional on stage? And then afterward, you didn't feel anything. And she went, it's acting, dear. You know, like, you idiot. I'm not feeling the emotions. I'm an actor.

I'm acting them. We saw Diana Rig Dumadilla. At the end of the place, she's got her children's blood on her, right? She's raising her hands. She's cursing the gods. The set falls down around her. It was brilliantly done. Giant metal pieces slamming down.

The most extraordinary ending. She's alone on stage. wait for her house. She comes off stage. This is 10 minutes later after the show's over. In a full length of mink. And, like, knee-high boots. And Diana Riggs fucking tall. Is she really? She's 5'9 and in the boots, she's 6'1.

She comes out and it was as if she had just parked her car, right? Like, there's no, you know, 10 minutes ago, you were covered in your children's blood screaming at the gods. And we follow her down the street and she put a pound coin in a homeless guy's cup as she walked. And then we went, excuse me, Miss Rigg, and she wheeled on us, right? And we were like, we liked you a lot of the plane. Thank you very much.

And then boom, gone. God bless her. Wow. So it was very exciting, indeed. Wow. I could hear you tell those stories. The next two hours, which we will do. Let's go.

We have one last thing we have to cover ourselves before this thing. Sure. And that is, you guys can weigh in on this as well. Last podcast. Oh, yes. We were at odds as to what the worst moment in a James Bond film is. and I think both have credence. Matt's is the pigeon double take in the movie Moon Raker.

They do a camera trick where the pigeon goes, whoo? Like that. Okay. I forgot about that. Mine is the Cananga Balloon where Yafakoto blows up like a balloon. So I have to say we did a Twitter thing where we did either hashtag Cananga Balloon or Pigeon Double Take. And I think, I will admit, pigeon double take has won. But Cananga Balloon rallied a lot in the end.

It did, yeah. Towards the end. I think there are more pigeon double-takes. You had late money for Canninga Balloon? It's a terrible way to kill him, too. He's such a great villain. I love Keniagan. Names is for tombstones.

Where do you guys fall in that? Or do you have... Ames for tombstones, baby? Do you have another worst moment? Because the slide whistle came up. A moon-race girl, in general. Also, a bond in a clown suit in Octopus. I was going to say the one with Steve.

I'll defend that. Yeah. I'll defend that because he's... He has to do that. He's undercover. Like, it shows his, like, not vulnerability, but what's the word I'm looking for like his desperation.

Yeah. At least it's merited in the plot. Yeah. Because of the agent that dies in the beginning in the clowns in the yeah.

Surely one of the Tim Dalton ones like where he's shaking with the gun that's kind of a bad. Remember because he's sort of scaredy in the first one. Yeah.

Oh and Living Daylands. Yeah. He's a little, he's a nervous bond. Yeah. He doesn't, he's not cocksure and statistics. He's a little like,

oh God, I mean as you guys are thinking, let me just say the following. The video game and never say never is pretty. Although you got Klaus laying I love him.

And if not, I cut it off. Oh, he's so good. The pigeon double take, here's why I think it's the worst. It does nothing. It does not move the plot forward. It does not do anything. I think I have to say that you've won that. But I'm just letting you know.

Moonwaker, for me, might be the overstable album. It's bad. If you blow a guy up and you have special effects don't quite carry the day, that's just a bummer. The pigeon double take is what movie, like, fucking have a pie fight. Like, what movie are you making? But he went on to then put, not pigeon double takes, but a pigeon in every Bond movie from there on out.

It's his trademark. Well, that's just dumb. That one has the space fight that's so slow and awful. I remember seeing it in a theater and hating it. But there's already a space fight in the... You Only Live Twice. They have the space guys in that... Yeah, it's interesting.

The whole thing that people thought would happen in space is that for some reason everything would move very slow. and there's nothing to stop you from moving as fast as you want to. It's space. Yeah. Weasie doodle. Also, he sleeps with every single girl with no preamble in that movie, as I recall.

Everything. It gets worse and worse and worse. Nothing has a preamble. All the set pieces, everything is... Like the one where... In Living Let Die, there's the black girl and all that. And, like, he sleeps with all the girls. But then there's usually like, I love you, good night, whatever.

And that one, it's just boom, boom, boom, boom. And then later, there's the one with, is it, carol bouquet, where he doesn't sleep with her at all. He doesn't sleep with any girls in one of. of them they like remove that uh living daylight no no yeah yeah it's but no it's a roger more one it's uh but it's like an 80s one for your eyes only

yeah he doesn't he has like one girl in that one and through the whole of the movie yeah yeah because that because the ice skater girl's trying to get one right there has to be some sort of like you know come on yeah because in the in which one is where the girl is he's in the spa and he keeps trying to hit on the girl and then basically he if you'll pardon the expression violates her up against the glass oh uh that's a brazeninin right no no it's a It's a Connery one, and it's an early one. He gets caught on the...

Oh, Thunderball. Oh, yeah, Thunderball is pretty rapy in that. He's extraordinarily rapy. He's real rapy. Because remember the girl's just like, I don't want any of it. He's like, oh, yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Here it is. And then up against the glass.

And I remember it's like a seven-year-old in the theater going like, oh, no, you know. Like a Flashman novel. Oh, yeah. It's just straight up Flashman. Yeah. Like, I think I know what you want, darling. You know. But yeah, the Roger Moore ones.

Who's the hottest of all the... I still think Ursula and Jess. Really? Yeah. And then I think Carol Bouquet is astoundingly beautiful. But that movie is... Personal Andres makes Bride Echle look like a boy. Four Your Eyes Only is the biggest age of disparity. Bond is 53. She's 23 in that movie.

Is there a Carriotis one? Is that the... Carriotis? Yeah. Isn't Carrie Otis in one of them as well? And I also love the girl in Thunderball. Claudine Arger, I think her name is. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's what we landed, right? She gets stung on the foot. By a stingray, and James Bond goes, flip over.

Both the women in that way. And you're like, how many times did he say that in his career? And she flips over and he puts her foot in his mouth and goes, like that is good stuff. This is good movie making. I don't care what happens in this movie. This is like an Oreo before the roller coaster. I'm like, wow.

Flip over. Let me chew on your foot for a while. Jeff Davis and Greg Proops. Guys, this comes out on Thursday of this week. Is there anything you'd like to promote? I got nothing. Jeff's on a show called Harmontown that you can hit. every week. It's very humorous.

In the apartment town. Yeah, we're doing this building. We do it live every Sunday here at Meltdown Comics, and it comes out usually Monday afternoon, and it's weird and good fun. And you can see Greg and I, once in a while, a guest on Whose Line is anywhere on the CW Network. Which is showing 17 times a week now, because evidently we did it on a Venezuelan television station in the 60s. We're also, I'm on, I have my own joke of The Smartest Man in the World. It's free to download on iTunes, and I have another, if you like, movies of a film podcast. called Greg Proops Film Club, and that comes out like every other Friday kind of thing,

once, twice a month. Anyway, we're showing Bull Durham on the 28th over the Cine family. I picked it. It's our summertime movie. And God damn it, it's 25 years old, which makes me feel unbelievably old. Also, this Wednesday, I have a live nude review at La Cedar called Hot Male Ball Worship. No, you don't. It's not live.

7.30 and 9, what's your dancing? Drink beef? That's... Boner Killington. Wagstaff Lojoi is his name Lojoie Wagstaff loo joey

Staff wag It's a real staff wagger Thank you for having me on I appreciate you guys I'm plugging our podcasts I hope we got most of that right In the end This movie is very fun and satisfying

Despite the corn pound And despite everything that doesn't work In the hideous misogyny and racism When Matt and I watched the other night At his crib When it was over we looked at it and said That's a goodie Yeah, and we were literally in a print.

You're happy. If you have a couple drinks, too, maybe some whatever, some ludes. This one really pumps up. It's not in the lower third. It's in the middle portion. If the top five are the Sean Connery ones and the bottom ones are the Tim Dalton ones, then this one comes somewhere.

I recommend renting this, pop two blues and have a collo. Makes me want to watch it all over again. Because, I mean, the Tim Dalton one's kind of the... Tim Dalton. My least favorite are the Brosons. Yeah, the Brosons aren't good. Those aren't actually very good. No.

No. But this one's not in that realm. This one's right below the Conray ones, I think. What would you say the best one is? Goldfinger? You want to know what our favorite is? Yeah, I do. It's a casino right now.

You mean the Daniel Craig? Yeah. Oh, because the 60s one's on. Oh, no. Oh, no. Before, that one? No. But my second favorite one is from Russia with love.

That's my favorite. I love from Russia. Yeah. For me, that's everything you want out of a bomb. Yeah, it is. I absolutely agree. It actually combines all the elements better than Goldfinger. I agree with that.

And Goldfiger is not. I think that the best one. That's what we found. We watch a Goldfinger. It's not. Quissy Galore. Fucking Robert. Oh.

Plus they go to Japan in it. They go to Europe in it. It's got a lot of good stuff. He throws pee in a guy's face? Yeah, he does. It's really good time. It's a good time. So by the time you listen this, we will have had a great time at the Sennesbia Goldfinger screening.

Yeah. Hopefully we got to meet you and you were great, you. Yeah. Thanks for showing up. We appreciate it. Are you going to that time? Yeah. You want to come?

No, I can't. All right. Thank you, fair enough. You don't want to sit outside and watch a movie? I've seen a golfing a million times. It's very good. No, Mr. Bob. I expect you to die.

It's like listening to the Beatles without him of... Also, when he gets sucked, I don't want to spoil the movie for anybody. Now, he's not as good as Lardellania with the knife. She's the best. That's good stuff. That's great. Yeah. Robert Shaw's just the greatest baddie.

Punching him in the stomach. Robert Shaw, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for listening, all. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. and we'll be return with the living daylight

or a mission briefings on her majesty secret service Matt and Matt and James Bonding Podcast Myra Gourley

James Bonding podcast It's the James Bonding podcast It's the James bonding podcast It's the James Bonding podcast It's the James Bonding podcast It's the James Bonding podcast With Matthews Myra

and Gourley Matthews Gordley Matthews, Gourley and Myra podcast of James Bond. Matthews, Gourley and my raw podcast of James Bond. James Bond, think podcast, James Bond, King Podcast, James Bond, James Bond, James Bond, James Bonding, James Bonding, James Bonding, James Bonding Podcast. Now Leavingnerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food and I started a podcast. Season 3 has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener

or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point and we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Hate nuts. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men, corpses,

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