James Bonding - Villain Deaths Ranked

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

'No Mr. Bond, I expect me to die!' Matt and Matt rank the fates of the villains, killed, survived, or otherwise on this latest installment of James Bonding. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Matt and Matt and James Bonding podcast This is James Bonding Starring Matt Goreley And Matt Myra Are we starting? I think we just did

We did it I thought we were doing a mic check But we're just starting this podcast Why mic check when you can podcast for real Friends have we got a treat for you today Came to it last minute But I have to say Pretty thrilled about it

I would say the most last minute Of anything we've ever done Yeah But when Matt said the idea I cackled in the corner like a Bond villain. And that's no exaggeration. It went on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Well, it just tickled me because I just started thinking about all the things we're about to rank.

Yeah. Well, I guess we'll say it. We are ranking. Villain deaths. The deaths of all the Bond villains and the escapes. That's right. We're going to do a subcategory of the five escapes or slash survivals of villains. The non-deaths.

according to the movies. So maybe what we should do is first go through the films, remind people of the deaths and or escapes, and then we'll start with the quick round of escapes and then get to the death. That's exactly what I thought too. And that's exactly how I've made my list, Matt. Wonderful. Yeah, so there's no guess today. Matt and I were like, well, should we take questions? Should we just rank something? And quite frankly, I've never been more delighted by ranking in my life. Yeah, I know. Why share this with guests when we can have it all to ourselves? I barely let Matt in the door once I thought of it. That's true.

That's true. He did try to send me out of the room. I don't know why. Probably lock me out. So should we go chronologically through the films? Yeah, so let's first talk about how each... Or should we... This is always where we get...

Well, I think if we go chronologically through the films, we can say who the villain is and why we think that. Because in a couple cases, there's a little confusion. Okay. And how they die or escape. All right. So let's start with the great film that started it all, 1962, is Dr. No. And it's good one to start with because it's very clear who the villain is and how he dies.

His name's in the title. Doctor No is the title. Of the movie, you automatically, you're the villain. There's no chance. There's no movie called Stamper. Yeah. Stamp. Oh, I'd watch that.

I would too over tomorrow never dies. I got to go. There's a very handsome German man in my office. That's the first line. And that's just, and that's Bond saying. Does he have it? We see his office. Barnes' office?

Yes, we see it once. In, uh, it's one of the early ones? No. And the world is not enough. No, I'm sorry. I don't remember. In die another day when he's in the VR training thing and he's cleaning his gun. Right.

Yeah, well, that's his virtual office, so who knows. Who knows if that's his real office? Well, we'll get to check it out next week. It's like the Matrix where it's the office you see yourself as having. Yeah. So Dr. No, pretty clear cut. It's Dr. No. Should we say how they die or just say the villain?

Okay, definitely. He sinks into a reactor. That's right, yeah. He's fighting with Bond and then falls into the reactor pit of radiated water, I presume. His cancer is cured, but he dies. from radiation. Now, from Russia with Love, we've on this podcast before, declared Red Grant, one of the greatest henchmen of all time.

So going with that theme, Rosa Kleb is the villain. Now, yeah, you could technically say Blowfelt is pulling all the strings, but he's kind of a background figure in this. And also Bond and Blowfield never interact in the movie. Right, right. So I think that's a big key to whether or not Blofeld becomes the villain. And ultimately, this is... Is it her plan or...

Kronsteins, but Bond never reacts with Kronstein, right? Right. Or it does? No, because Blofeld kills him. Or actually, Kleb does. Kleb is number two. That's right, but she kills Kronstein by footknifing him. Who doesn't like a good footknife?

I know, and that brings us to the end battle where she's trying to footknife Bond. And in the book does. You know, and they almost, you know, the Matt Monroe from Russia with Love theme song was almost replaced by Kenny Logan's footknife. He was three years old. His first song, Foot knife. Kick off your Sunday shoes, foot knife.

Yes. Foot knife. So Rosa is shot by Tatiana. Tatiana. Okay. Goldfinger. Again, villain, clear. Named after the villain.

Couldn't be clearer. Sucked out of a plane. That's right. A depressurizing airplane sucked through a small window. Yeah. Thunderball. The most. boring of movies.

The villain Largo is shot with a harpoon by his mistress. Domino. You only live twice. There's an escape here. He survives. He speeds away on a monorail?

He speeds away on an... Do they show him like getting in a pot? We just watched this and I somehow... That's how unremarkable his survival is that I can't even place exactly. You know what's interesting going through this, I found each survival to be nearly forgetable.

Yeah, I think that's the problem with them. On Our Majesty's Secret Service, of course, Blofeld is in it. Bond interacts with Blowfeld, so Blowfeld is the villain. This rule applies to all movies except for your eyes only. He survives. Is he dressed as a baby? No. He has a neck brace on and he's driving a car.

But his survival is a little bit more of note because it also involves the death of Bond's wife. Yes. Okay. Diamonds are forever. Sean Connery's back just in time to theoretically kill blow film. This is one that we had to pull up because it's very unclear. He's caught in that little submarine and Bond is like swinging him around on a crane,

banging up the oil rig. And then Bond jettisons the oil rig along with everybody else to watch it blow up. But it doesn't blow up in one piece. Right. It just blows up kind of in little explosions throughout, so he's presumed dead. Compartmentalized blowing up. But we're putting him in the escape category. Because he ends up in for your eyes only.

Right. So it becomes very clear. So you never see him die. Yes. Now we go to live and let die, which has perhaps a moment that you'd like to own on a t-shirt. That's right. Go to podswagagag.com slash bond and pick up a canangabaloon, hashtag canangabaloon t-shirt for the holidays. By the way, the posters will be available.

December 2nd. December 2nd, guys, you can get the beautiful artwork. By Kyle Steed. Kyle Steed did an amazing what looks like a painting. I've never looked better. I also have a huge announcement, and I'm not even sure you're aware of this. Did you know that you and I are now Bond Canon? Wait, what?

You don't know. No, I don't know. Okay. Our friend of the show, Ibrahim Mustafa, who did the amazing artwork on those series of prints for every film. He also did a great t-shirt that says, diversify your bonds with a picture of Idraselba, his bond. Such an amazing, talented artist.

Did the latest one-shot comic book of Bond, and he put you and I in the background of one of the panels. Oh, my God. He just messaged me. I have yet to pick it up, but he sent me a picture. So we are now canon in the world of Bond. We're like Mr. Winton, Mr. Kid, a boring background. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I thought I'd surprise you on air. So does he have the can we buy that page? Like the original? Yeah. I don't know. Abraham, can we? Abraham, we'd like to purchase your page. I understand how much comic book artists monies.

You know, I get it. I own a couple of Batman pages. I know how much this stuff can go for. And then what are we going to do, tear it in half? We're going to do a high-res scan. Maybe a print. Maybe you can sell us print. And then we'll do a, we'll go to Canvas.

What's the, what's the sponsor of my podcast, Canvas, something? I don't know. but I just want to say thank you regardless of this amazing favor. We are fans of here. What are you going to do with all? I have them all. So here's the thing I have before we get back into how these villains died and what movies they died or how they died rather in which movies. I have all of those up to the series that he had done to that point, which I feel like I have 16 or 17 of these.

I want to frame them all. They're sitting in my 2B frame pile. But I don't know where. I will hang them. Well, I'm thinking of when we, we may turn our garage into an office that, like, I would love to line the top of the wall, like, along the top with those. They're so good. They're amazing. My favorite one, actually, his diamonds are forever, the way he's standing on that elevator.

If you've not seen these, just Google. I love the Honor Her Magic's Secret Service one, which is the wedding car. Oh, yeah. And also, I mean, I was just looking at the Casino Royale. one with the poker chips and he's doing the parkour in the construction zone. Yes. And the quantum one where the car's doing donuts, but it's also a key. Yeah.

Go to the art of Ibrahim Mustafa. That's spelled I-B-R-A, H-I-M-M-O-U-S-T-A-F-A. You can just Google that and it will come up. So good. This is the most exciting news and that is what I'm thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Yeah. Man with the golden gun, shot by Bond.

Yeah. Spy Who Love Me, shot by Bond. Moonraker. Poison Dart ejected into space. For your eyes only. I guess I should be saying who each. So the man with a golden gun is scar monger. Spy Who Love Me is an industrialist and underwater dweller whose name I cannot remember right now.

Why can I not? Hold on, hold on. Stromberg. Strongberg. Carl Sternberg. All right. Moonraker is industrialist. Hugo Drax. Who wants to restart society. Hugo Drax. For your eyes only.

Arrestato Christatos. Now, killed by a knife being thrown, but by Milos. Yes, by Colombo. Yeah. We should also mention that Blofeld is theoretically killed in this film, but that's just kind of a little side note, so we're not really going to count that. Yeah, he's got a delicatessen. He does interact with Bond, but it's in the beginning of the movie, cold open,

we can't count it as the villain of the movie. Octopus, this one is another one we had to rewatch. Yeah. His plane crashes, but the cause of which, is still unclear. Bonn puts his foot on the rudder to force it down, but immediately takes it off and with plenty of time for, I think, him to pull up, but he tries to land, Bonn and Octopus he jump off, and by that time it's too late, he overshoots the runway and then crashes

into the side of a mountain. View to a kill, falls off the Golden Gate Bridge. It's... Max Orrin. Living Daylights. Now, we got into a little bit of a confusion here. Brad Whitaker, Joe Don Baker, not the villain. The reason being that this is ultimately Koskov's plan, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so he's sort of using Brad Whitaker in his plan. And I think it's, I mean, I don't think this one is in 100% clear, but we're going with Koscov as the phone. Yes. License to kill. Robert Davy is set on fire. Franz Sanchez is Robert Tavi's still with us

And boy is he Golden Eye Alec Trevelyan Yeah dropped onto a satellite dish And then blown up Oh no then then crushed Then impaled by the satellite dish antenna Tomorrow Never Dies

Killed with a remote control drill Elliot Carver A remote control drilled the size of a jet engine Yes The world is not enough Now here's the deal with this one And we, again, we've listed Reynard in our henchman category because ultimately it is Electra King pulling the strings.

I don't, we have, but I don't think we used him as a henchman in that episode. Did we not? We used toothy or whatever it is, Goldie. But ultimately, Electra is pulling on those strings. Renard, you know what, we'll add you in in the ranking. I don't like these flying by the seat of your pants decisions. that throws a lot of this stuff out of whack. Do you think it does?

Being shot by plutonium rod is probably better than being. It's definitely a better death than hers, but we have to go. I think she's the ultimate villain. All right, ultimate villain. Okay. Or Gustav Graves, depending on how you look at it. I look at it like the plot of the movie, as we'll see next week, unfortunately. He is, his parachute cord is pulled and he's shot.

send it to a jet engine. Casino Royale. Bond does not kill Le Schief. Mr. White does it for him, with a bullet to the head. Quantum of Salas. Abandoned by James Bond and left to wander the desert.

And later found dead with two bullets in his head. Yes. And a... We assume... We assume Blowfield did that, right? Yeah. Oh, God, that's right. I'd like to at least think that was Mr. White. Skyfall, hunting knife to the back, with an amazing death performance by Benicio.

Not Benicio, not Benicio. Benicio del Toro, of course, is killed with a cocaine mixer. Yeah. And then we have Spector, which is under the category of escaped, but he doesn't escape, he's arrested. Survived, is I guess the category we're going for. All right. So now that we've laid the groundworks of who's who, I suppose Matt, it is time to rank our top five survivals. Top fival survival.

We've got three blowfelds, four blowfelds. Yep, four blowfelds. And a Russian general. And a Costco. All right. So the number five on this for me, I have the living daylights. Costco. Costco is number five.

All right. And again, using our patented ranking method, we won't talk about any of these until they have two votes. So for me, why am I writing that thing? I don't know. I got, I'm going Specter. You're going with Specter.

Low Feld Specter. I find it to be... Right, right. He always breaks his own rule. I know, you know why. I can't think that far behind. Number 25... Oh, I'm sorry.

We're in for it. We're so. I'm, it's like a Thanksgiving, post- Thanksgiving coma. We're having a great time, though. Number four, diamonds are forever for me. Okay. For me, it's Costco. It's Costco.

We're talking about the living daylights, everybody. Kaskov, and what we've discussed before feels like a second, the first of two endings to the movie. He's arrested on a, uh, Afghanistan. Soviet base, right? Oh no, he gets off the base and then ends up at Brad Whitakers? We talked about this. It seems like he was intended to die there with that explosion in the Jeep. But then he comes back and is arrested. So why do you think they did that? Why not kill him again or have not killed him the first

time? Were they kind of going for more of a realistic espionage, John La Caree thing, where it's like not everybody has to die in a Bond film? Maybe, but also I feel like they were just Aiken to get back to Joe Don Baker. But he, I mean, then why bring him back after Joe Don Baker's death? They literally shove him in the room and then shove him out.

Honestly, maybe they didn't want to kill him because they enjoyed the character and thought maybe well they'll use the character again. See, I don't know because it's like they did that. The only other survivals here are Blowfeld and that was clearly because they wanted to continue the character. I would have a hard time believing they really wanted to do that with

Koskoff. I think he was, I think he was a good character. Yeah, I do too, but he doesn't have, I don't know, he doesn't quite have the gravitas that a blowfault does. But he's arrested by Russian forces. He's arrested by John Rees-Davies. Right.

Who I love, and we'll talk more about in our next episode of Indiana Jonesing. He's presumed dead, though, because they say they're going to take a moment a diplomatic bag, which means a body bag. Or that diplomatic bag is, a great sleeping bag for diplomats. Okay.

You never know. But it's ranked so low for me because it's just me. Yeah, it just takes the steam out of an otherwise pretty good movie. Yeah. Yeah. So that is our number five. That is our number five for whatcha-ma-callets. Escapes.

Okay. So number three for me is Specter. Okay. That puts it at number four here for the totals. So let's talk about Spector. I ranked it so high, which is the middle, because of Christoph Waltz finally getting that great Blofeld scar. I like an origin story.

Okay. So I like seeing where that scar came from. I really liken it to the moment in The Last Crusade where River Phoenix can't use a whip yet. I think this one could have been exchanged with living daylights for me. There is something I like to Blowfeld going like, do it, kill me that I like. This is not something you've ever seen from Blofeld before, like kind of like I'm tortured, give me some death. But I don't feel like they knew where they were going after this. And now knowing that he's probably not going to be back, it feels real lame to continue him on in an impotent way like this.

Do you think he'll return as the main villain of the next movie? Well, he's already said he's not going to. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant the character. Oh. Do you think Blofeld will return as the main villain of the next movie? Or will they take a Blofeld sabbatical? I wonder. It's so weird.

The Craig films have always just been out of phase by one film, it seems like. If they would have done one less or added one more, it would have been better. You know, because now it seems like they're either going to have to replace Blowfeld with another actor or deny him completely and then abandon this whole awkward timeline they've gotten into. And it just doesn't seem well thought out. That's the one thing I'll hand to those Marvel guys is they feel like they got it, their chess game figured out 20 years in advance.

They're better at getting contracts. Yeah. For people to be in multiple movies. Yeah. Which I feel like Eon has not been great at. Who would you like to see Play Belowfeld if they did? If they replace him, I mean, it's so, I'm so meh on the character of Blowfield as it is. I'd like to see them do something more interesting with that character.

I mean, I loved Green. Dominic Green, I did too. He would be a great Blowfield. Oh, it would be a great Blowfield. He is those like Swiss brown eyes. Yeah. And if you're going to continue, I liked where they were going with Quantum. I did too.

That was Spector. Oh, you're finally out of your, you're finally figured it out. You're out of the shadow of Spector. You can now move on. Quantum seems like a quantum leap forward. I see. In extortion. Terrorism.

Revenge. And extortion? Yeah. Yeah. So that's Spector. It happens. I mean, it happens over the Thames. It's a great locale.

Yeah. That's a positive thing I'll say about it But he shoots down a helicopter with a pistol If there's one person on the planet Who I have no problem shooting a helicopter down with a pistol It's James Bond Annie Oakley Oh sorry

Okay Annie Oakley I have no problem with her shooting a helicopter down with a pistol Over her shoulder with a mirror With a little pocket mirror All right number three for me Diamonds are forever Ah let's

No actually the way I'm looking at that Spectre's probably better than that but oh well. It's just really like non-conclusive and or inconclusive. Well, you get the fun of James Bond operating heavy machinery. That's true. That's real fun. You get the fun of what I would call the most perfect dive James Bond has performed besides the world is not enough dive. I mean, we're going to rank. What dive is that? We're going to rank the James Bond dives.

It's when he takes off his, his jacket, tucks his pistol in. his belt and then dives next to a submarine. Oh, that's right. Without much clearance. Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah, that's right. You do get to see Blofeld's sweat in the cabin of that little submarine where he's

kind of freaking out a little bit. If we ever were to rank the suits of James Bond, I have to say, that world is not enough suit. The beige one? The beige one with the blue shirt would be very highly ranked. It's a good one. Very highly ranked for me, isn't it? Yes.

Yeah. I went on a quest for a linen suit. I never found one, and it's probably a good thing. I have a white London suit that I never wear. We should do a linen suit. On our second live, James Bonding, we'll do linensuit. What's the status of your goldfinger suit? He says it's done.

I have no idea how to get it from him. You should reach out to. Yeah. So this will be a mystery as to whether we show up to this live show. By the way, we're doing a live show on the 7th at UCB. Is it sunset or Franklin? I don't know. one of the UCBs.

It's wherever they do the... Is it called James Bonney Live? Or is it called Stitcher Premium Theater? What is it called? More info coming. Watch our social media. We're the worst hosts. Yes.

I agree. So number two for me, you only live twice. Same here. Let's talk. All right. So here's why it's ranked so high. The tiny monorail. Tiny shaky little wobbly monorail.

The tiny shaky. Classic Blowfeld. You know, I just watched an American Masters, Walt Disney episode. Oh. It was a two-parter and really just came away with a whole new appreciation for monorail systems. And I think that sort of influenced my pick here. I've said I want to put a monorail around this backyard.

Look at that. Imagine that. I would love it. Just a rickety little monorail. Little egg-shaped monorail. Where if you get on, I don't understand how it's constantly moving until you hit the break. It's a bizarre monorail. around. I don't think so. I don't know. But yeah, he gets away. Pleasance is great. So, I mean,

that influences it a little bit. Is this the only one that he escapes with his cat? That we see, yeah. I think so. Does he have his cat in Free Rise Only? I think he does, doesn't he? On his wheelchair? So Bond kills the cat, too. He doesn't go on the ride with him. I don't know. That poor cat. Yeah, it's Donald Pleasance. He does a really good, like, I mean, even his posture is very, I'm a villain. Yeah. I mean, he's not only the classic Blofeld, I'd call him the consummate Blofeld. Yeah.

Because the other ones are kind of outliers. Telly Savalas is a little thug-ish. Charles Gray is a little too... English? Yeah, he's a little... He's just a dandy. I don't know. Not that that's like a problem.

They're all good Blofelds, but when you think of the classic Blowfeld, I still think it's Donald Pleasence. Yeah. I also think that part of the ranking here is just the fact that Blowfield's escape in this movie is the only one that I would feel confident in laying over the sound effect of a child going,

Wee! Yeah, I think that's enough to bump it. the point. Wee. All right. So that brings us to our number one escape on Her Majesty's Secret Service for me. And I believe it is for you as well, Matt. Because it's an escape, number one with a bullet.

Actually, bullets plural. Yeah. Because on that escape. Well, first of all, his escape actually is getting caught on a tree branch in a bobsled chase. Yes. That's a lucky escape. Uh-huh.

He just gets, he doesn't even. mean to escape. In fact, he comes back for more. It's hardly an escape. It's really just a delay. And then he... You know, I think had James Bond been in an Aston Martin that was issued by Q Branch, wouldn't be a problem. That's right. Bulletproof windows, right. Side lasers, of course. Bulletproof windows. Yes. Did she have the window open? I forget. That may be the problem. Oh, maybe that was the problem. Maybe it was from Q Branch. Oh, man. But yeah, so it does, it's an escape that shapes the character of James Bond for years to come. That's right. It really does.

And therefore, it's the most significant escape slash survival of a James Bond villain in our top five escape slash survivals. Which brings us then to 19 villain deaths. There are 19 ways villain dies. Villains die and there are 19 ways to cry. That just rhymed. That made no sense. But I'm excited about this. The thing I like about a list like this is it does not necessarily correlate to how much I like the films.

Because you can get some great villain deaths and some pretty bad varned films and vice versa. That is absolutely very true. They do start to bunch up a little bit. Yeah, no, actually, I got to say, it does not really correlate at all. A couple of mine do. So let's talk about number 19. Matt, who is your, what is your 19th village? death, your lowest ranked villain death.

This is one that has always bothered me because it doesn't seem befitting of the film and it's Goldfinger. I find it to be too silly and campy, but not suitable to the silly and silliness of the movie. Okay, you're doing the thing

again. Oh shit. Sorry. Sorry. Which is talking about things before their time. You need to cut me off sooner. Don't be so polite. Sorry. Okay, so number nine now you know all my thoughts. Well, those are some of your thoughts. Number 19 for me is octopussy. Okay. Well, we can... So number 18 for you, man, would be what? Is octopussy. Oh, well. Yeah. So it's a talking round. So early. Okay. Do you think

that we were persuaded by rewatching this? Because I think I remembered it better in my head than it was. No, I didn't remember it at all in my head. I remembered the, uh, the henchman battle. Yeah. The smack in the face with the antenna. and Santa Tune in and in some time we'll have a ranking of henchmen deaths which I got to tell you is going to be even better than this I think so but for me it's ranked so lowly because it was so forgettable and somehow more implausible than almost any other death it seems like it could have been easily avoided also I like Louis Jordan in this film but his performance on this is not among the best desk

because it's clear... Well, I think he's given a director going, you see us rocks, you see some rocks, and he's just leaning forward with this really strange look on his face, and it's just a little silly. Maybe he's mad because he's probably like, can't I just pull the stick back? Yeah.

And they're like, no, no, no. He's like, you see, he's put it down with his feet. Yeah. But he's not on the tail anymore. He's one of those interesting villain desks that it's like, he's one of the intellectual villains Bond has to face, and there are some that are a little bit more physical.

And so, I don't know, the death is somehow, it's more unremarkable than I remember. Matt? All right. That is an astute observation. It is unremarkable, and that's why it's so low. Yeah. So number 18 for me, you had octopus. See, my number 18 is for your eyes only.

Okay. my number 17 is die another day. Hmm. Interesting. My 17 is from Russia with love. Ooh. Interesting. My number 16, it's time to talk for your eyes only.

For your eyes only. Now this is in its own special category where Bond doesn't kill the villain. Exactly. Yeah. There's a handful of these. That is precisely my problem with this death. I think that if Bond's not doing the killin, it better be a little more spectacular than a knife throwing.

Now, I give this one some props in that category because I love the character of Colombo. And I love that he throws the knife and then immediately collapses. But Christatos is such an unremarkable villain. It just feels like, all right, yeah, okay, for me. He is unremarkable. But, you know, he's really doing anything he can to find the Holy Grail. No, I think you're confusing.

Wait, I'm sorry. What you mean is to find the generator on Hoth. Yes, that is it. He's trying to find the generator on Hoth, which is at the top of a pretty remarkable religious structure that is built into rock somehow. No, I think he's wearing a chain necklace at King's Landing. The other thing is I'm not a big fan of throwing knives for deaths, as you'll find soon enough. Yeah, I... It's just a little convenient, and I'm still not very convinced that would kill someone right away.

I get what you're saying. If it's even, like, possible to do every time. Hmm. I understand what you're saying. I would love to see a movie where someone throws a knife at someone, and it hits handle first and just bounces off them. Because that's just as likely to have. happen. No, I mean, if you're practiced with throwing knives, I think that it is not that likely to happen. One of my favorite activities that the medieval fair every year is throwing those very dull knives.

But it's just not as 100% as everybody makes it because the distance matters. And I think, I just don't think it's quite what the movie makes it to do. I mean, it's probably like, these people probably have like great sets of throwing knives, like the Montblancs of throwing knives. I'm sure. But it's equivalent to the karate shop to the barit job to the. back of the neck to knock someone out. It's possible, but I don't think it's universal. Has that ever happened in real life? Has that ever happened in real life?

I just watched the BBC Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy. Yeah. And a man kills another man that way. It doesn't just knock him out. Oh. He just kills him. He falls to the ground and he convulses and dies. I won't say who, because it's quite a spoiler.

Was it a Taylor? Yeah, but again, Bond doesn't kill them. It's a throwing knife. It's fairly unremarkable. So that's why it is our 18th ranked death. So what's 16 for you, man? 16 for me. Surprising ranking, because I enjoy the movie a lot.

It's the spy who loved me. Hmm. Okay. So 15 for me, no big surprise, may be higher than you would expect for some of you, live and let die. Wow. That is very surprising. I'll have my reasons, but I'm not going to talk about it.

until it's time to talk. Okay, so number 15 for me, Thunderball. This is interesting. A lot of silence on Matt's end here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Matt, what is your 15? That was...

I'm sorry, you're 14. My 14 is Skyfall. Okay, I'm going to put a mark next to Skyfall, just so I know it's been selected by someone who's wrong. Number 14, for me, is the world is, The world is not enough. Okay. This is an interesting spread we're having here.

This one is really, really varied. Number 13 for me, Casino Royale. Mm-hmm. Number 13 for me, Die Another Day. All right, let's talk Die Another Day. All right. Sigmund Freud. Analyze this.

Analyze this. What's your favorite Robert De Niro movie? Analyze theft. Oh, not analyze this. You like the sequel more? Once Upon a Time in America. Okay. I mean, it is of its time.

It's a good death. Like, it's a meaty good death. It is an early a, it is an early a action death. It's one of those overkill deaths. Like, it would have been enough to probably just launch him out. And he could have, I guess he wouldn't have been killed by the parachute, but still. You know what we should also figure out is who is the most dead. Like, you know, when Han Solo goes, spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the Force Awakens.

Right. When Han Solo goes, it's funny to me. I mean, not funny in the moment. I love Han Solo, but gets a lightsaber through the abdomen, then falls into an end. endless pit, and that is blown up. That's right. So he's the most dead of the Star Wars people. That's a good question.

I mean, it's got to be Cananga. I was just thinking that. It's got to be someone that's atomized. Either that or Hugo Drax or possibly Elliot Carver. Yeah. Well, that's true. That is very true. But Diner the Day,

forgettable, maybe this will change next week when we watch it. Yeah. But, you know, parachute through a jet engine. Oh, is he the most dead? He might be the most dead. He's pretty dead.

He is pretty dead. I would say that a shark bullet is probably going to leave some chunks where a jet engine is going to like just atomize you. Yeah. Yeah. Into a mist. Yeah. Maybe the holiday fragrance. Rupert Graves for men.

It's shaped like his diamond, you know, with a G.G. on it. It's red. Yeah, I guess it's just, it's just. It's very fitting of the movie, I guess. It's not crazy silly, but it's a little. I like Frost's death more. Yeah. Also, that knife fight.

Art of War. All right. It is a little ridiculous. Do I like it more than parachute? I don't know. I don't know. One thing about that, I always feel when watching that movie is I'm just so ready for them to be killed. Like, let's get to this.

That movie does have, like, I just want it to be over by the time I get there. I enjoy other parts of it. That movie also for me has the most product placement, the most glaring product placement of any of the movies. Yeah. Which some may find hard to believe what was Heineken and all. Penguin Books, Art of War. Okay, so that is dying of the day. Yeah.

What number was that for you? That was number 13 for me. Okay, so my number 12 is Dr. No. Oh, so we're talking. No, we're not talking about Dr. No. Okay, number 12 for me, we are talking. It's Casino Royale. Okay.

Not killed by Bond. Right. It's another one in the category of not killed by James Bond, but it's a satisfying ending. Yeah, I'm probably already to the category of deaths that I like, because I like Casino Royale's death. I like, he's dispatched in a way. If you're not going to be killed by Bond, this is an interesting way to do it. When you don't expect it, it comes two-thirds of the way through the movie. Yeah.

I knew it from the book, but still, I was half expecting them in the movie to change it, you know? Oh, well, that's always, you're always expecting that. Yeah. I have to say, I think that it's really, it's almost like the most like, oh, God, how's is Bond going to get out of this moments in the, in the Eon films? And it's also the most surprising. That's the thing is that even though Bond doesn't kill them, it comes on the heels of maybe one of the best scenes in Bond history where you want this guy

to get his come up in so much after what he just does to bond. The fact that you actually get it right then and there goes a long way. I'd probably put this one higher if I had to decide it. And I really love the character of White. I do too, and I love the character Leshif, too. Mr. White, I think, is great. Yeah. Does he, when we get to Spector, and we have Spector's,

Mr. White. Does he, is it, does he shift to bond ally? That's a tough one. I kind of, I guess. I mean, he's a reluctant ally, but is there anybody else in that kind of category? Jaws. Yeah.

Henschman shift to ally. That's a tough one. Yeah. My question is, is Mr. White so popular that decided to make him good? I don't know, but there was all those stories about him shit-talking the Bond franchise, so they must have brought him back just purely out of a story necessity, because I don't think they were happy with him.

Really? Yeah, he had some interview where he was talking poorly about the production. I think he just didn't like making blockbusters. And they also shot... I bet he didn't like making Quantum of Solace, because the movie wasn't finished. Right, but they also shot a scene for the end of that movie involving him that has never been released, and nobody knows if he was killed or what happens. Oh, Phil, if you're out there, get on that.

I know. Dig that scoop up, Phil. Sleuth. Stop ranking Brazen movies so low on your thrillist list, Phil. No, you're fine with that. Phil? I mean, that shows that you're doing good work. Oh, Phil.

Continue in that fame. Don't care for that. Okay. So that was number 16 for our total combined list. Which brings us to number 11 on my list. We're talking about Skyfall. All right. Now, I'll say...

Matt, why did it rank so low for you? Well, the reasons I like it is Javier Bardem's reaction to being stabbed. This has never been... This has always been a tricky scene for me. I just... There's something that, like, I can buy the knife throwing a little bit more in for your eyes only, but in this one... You don't buy it in this one?

It just seems like too much... And I think this is just me, but it just seems like too much of an action movie trope. and not enough of a death for him. And I don't want some big, like, Gustav Graves' death for him. It just happens too quickly, too glibly. There's a couple of little quips thrown out during it before and after. And I just... But they're both, you know, if they're cut from the same cloth, you know,

if they're both double-Os and they've both been spying around for such a long time, the glibness of it works for me. Really? Now, let me run something by you. Please. You've got this scene where he's got Judy Dench, and he's put the gun up to her head and he's got his head next to her.

This is as tense as a James Bond movie ever gets. Okay. What if instead of throwing the knife, Bon creeps up behind him, grabs him, stabs him by hand, and holds him and pulls him away from M. And like just,

they have to like, their face to face, and there's no quips. I think you can't, I think you cannot be sure that him knifing Bardam in the back is not going to have,

some nerve reaction where he pulls the trigger. Well, he does knife him in the back. Oh, that's right. But imagine they're face-to-face, and he's behind him, like, giving him a Nelson, and he's got a knife in his kidney. Well, here's why it works for me. Yeah. Albert Finney.

Doing nothing just standing now. Albert Finney putting the hunting knife on the table and saying sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Yeah, but that's like, clearly they wrote that in after the knife throwing. I don't know I liked it I like that line and I like that the movie

so harkens back to a simpler time that the most simple way to kill somebody is a throwing knife yeah I like that he's killed with a knife it's just something about the throwing and I love Bardam's reaction it just all goes really quickly too quickly you'd like it to be a minute and a half longer you think well that's the other thing is I don't think you're going to die

quickly with a knife in the back. Like he had to hit his heart, basically. Maybe he did. Maybe. Maybe he severed his spine. The other thing is, I don't think a, I don't think a knife goes through a rib cage that easily. I think we need to call the mid-busters.

I think also it's time for an ad break and a Y-P-P-P-K. A P-P-P-K. P-P-K. P-B-N. Matt-N. Matt-N. Would you like a poster? of James Bonding with the very signatures of this guy talking?

Or the signatures of this guy responding to the guy that was just talking? How about T-shirts reflecting our own views on the most ridiculous moment in James Bond? For me, hashtag Cananga Balone? For me, the correct answer. Hashtag Pigeon Devil Take. Well, whatever your preference, go to Podswag.com slash bond, and you could pick up one of those three items and have it in time for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Foo-Foo, Bobby,

What? Listen, we all know Pigeons cannot react to a boat that's on land. It's just not going to happen. That humans can't blow up when they're shot with a shark bullet because B, shark bullets don't even exist.

Then you don't know what they would do, Matt. That's all I've been trying to get across to you. It's maybe very plausible that a shark bullet would make you inflate and float to the sky and then blow up. But it's certainly physically possible that a pigeon can look to the same side three times in a row. Not by reversing the film three times, which is what they did. But what we can't agree on is

a delicious and beautiful poster of us sitting in M's office with Monty Penny outside and all sorts of little podcast inside jokes throughout beautiful artwork by Kyle Steed. Check it out on podswag.com slash bond. Tell them the pigeon sent you. Hashtagued canangabaloon. Matt and James Bonding podcast All right We're back We discussed Skyfall

Now, Matt What number was that for you? It was interesting That was number 11 for me I have to say There are more knife Wait, that can't I haven't said

11 yet Then you say you're 11 now Am I after you? Yeah Okay, sorry Were you gonna say something? We said my 11 and then we had to talk

And then we have to say You're 11 Okay, sorry What I was gonna say Is there are more Knife deaths in James Bond than I remember. Yeah, same.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, number 11 for me is Tomorrow Never Dies. That's weird that it would be ranked so low. I'm actually surprised this high. So number 11 for me with Skyfall. So number 10 is Dr. No.

Oh, it's time to talk about Dr. No then. Listen, what I like in a villain death, Matt, as we're getting down towards the nitty-gritty. Right. Is being hoisted by one's own patar. Yeah. I really enjoy when a villain dies and essentially his own doing. Yeah, that's true. I never thought about it that way.

This is also the first villain death. It's not the most spectacular, but it's pretty good out of the gate. It's pretty gruesome. Yeah. Because you don't really know exactly what's going on. That's like coolant water. You figure it's highly radioactive, so he's just going to kind of melt. It's bubbling, correct?

Yeah, so is it super hot as well? I don't know, but I do know that if he hadn't built his own nuclear reactor, none of this would be happening. That's true. He really did this to himself. How many of them are hoisted by their own petards? Well, certainly tomorrow never dies, as you just mentioned. But honestly, not as many as you'd think.

But not that. directly. There are some like Moonwaker where he's killed in his own space station. Yeah, but like for Goldfinger, for this to be a thing of for gold, like if we were to say how Goldfinger dies, it's not, he doesn't get crushed by gold. You know? Yeah, but Dr. No was not killed by the word no by by a negative response. No, you're just going by names now. You're not going by what the actual villain's plan is. I wish that were the case. But yeah, He just can't take any negative criticism. Listen, it's hand-to-hand combat in fun radioactive suits.

Yeah. And it ends with him being, him drowning in a reactor. I love any fight that takes place over something perilous, like a chasm, lava, yeah. Quicksand, something like that, yeah. I'm just trying to think of an instance of a fight taking place over a quicksand. Well, in my mind, it's certainly many, many. But yeah, so Dr. No, we salute you.

You went out like a gangster. Okay. That was number what for you? That was number 10 for me. Okay, number 10 for me is the man with a golden gun. Ah, okay. The man with the golden gun is number 10 for you. For me, number nine is golden eye.

That low. Low? I don't know that's low. It's pretty high. Number nine for me, the spy who loved me. Oh. We're talking. He's a time to talk.

I think this is a good one. I mean, it's kind of gruesome, even though it's just a gunshot. It's a few gunshots, right? Like, he's shot like four, yeah. And it's James Bond doing his dirty work himself. And he also puts it in that tube that shoots that exploding spear that he evades. Yeah. If that tube wasn't there.

You know what's good about it? is that Stromberg has already shot his wad. Like, Bonn let him do his thing, and he has no defense. Bon could just take him in. Yeah. And he still kills him, which is kind of odd for a Roger Moore film. But also, is he hoisted? By his own petards?

By building a dining room table with a single type? Single shot. Yeah, maybe. How does Bond know that is there? He's just magic. The other guy happens. Who does it happen to previous? It happens to someone.

Doesn't it? Number 12. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm got that wrong. I forget. Well, we see it go. We see it work. I thought so, too.

We're well aware of its established power. Yeah. It's been a while since I've seen this one. This is probably the most popular bond that I've seen the least. Yes. Yeah, that's an interesting way to put it. I feel like Thunderball is very popular. It is.

I think we're in a minority on that. I'm going to tell you. The fact that Phil didn't rank it lowest. Check out... Our man in the East's thrillist list, Phil Nobiel Jr. Ranks every day as Bond movie. Poorly. No, I disagree.

You know, his bottom three really are upsetting. Because he's a journalist reporting the truth? Because he's reporting, and I hate to say this phrase, but I believe it more now than ever. Fake news. No way, man. You're Elliot. You're Elliot Carver.

Yeah, so Spy Who Love Me. Four gunshots. Okay, just, it's worth mentioning, we're about to go to number eight, right? We are about to go to number eight, yes. So the only films that have yet to be mentioned are Moonraker, Quantum of Salus, license to kill, and a view to a kill. everything else has been mentioned. You mentioned Live and Let Die ranked at number.

What was your number on Living Let Die? 15 out of 19. Yeah. Wow, it's a... These are all good deaths. Now, I will mention there that a view to a kill Quantum of Salas Moon Raker typically at the bottom of most people's lists for Bond movies. Totally.

Interesting. It is very... Licensed to kill, usually not that high. In fact, all four of these that have not been mentioned definitely rank in the bottom half of most people's lists. Agreed. Maybe you and I hold a lot of stock, you know, good villain death because we like all four of these movies, I think, generally.

We really do. And, you know, I think we support villain deaths. Yes, we do, certainly do. From on record way back. Please donate to our charity, villain deaths.org. That's probably not a thing. It will be by the time this airs. So Matt, we just talked about the spy who loved me.

I mentioned golden eye. So that brings us to number eight for me, which is the man with the golden gun. Okay, that's it. Now, he's got a powerful weapon. Yeah. He charges a million a shot. But I got to say, what I like about this death is that it's the only way this movie could end. It's the culmination of their duel.

If ever a villain is going to be shot And shot by Bond And in kind of an unspectacular manner This merits it, I think Yeah, but I also This Scaramong is Funhouse Shooting Gallery

Slash Most Dangerous Game Maze It's one of my favorite things in Bond movies Really? I feel like it could have been done better I like the idea of it It just looks crappy and doesn't really deliver. Do you know what it looks like to me, though?

A 70s-era dark ride. Yeah, definitely. And I think that because of that and because of when this movie was made, I say, well done, gentlemen. Is there any feeling for you? Because I feel like, yes, this is the way it had to be, but also that leaves it a little less exciting

because there's no twist. There's no real excitement at the end. It's just closure, but not in a kind of exciting, thrilling way. It leaves me a little cold. I don't know what more you could want for closure. I know that, I mean, the ultimate, I guess, I don't like the solar weapon. The Solex agitator. The Solex agitator, for me, feels like it didn't need to be there.

What if a knick-knack pulled a domino? give the dog a bone and shot scaramonga because he's sick of being exploited by him. No. I don't know. I don't think Nicknack would do that. I would like to see that. Do you think Nicknack's alive still in that cage? I know Harvey is not.

Nizu Skarmongar. Oh, God, that's such a, that's, that movie is a hoot. Yeah. I hope you all look forward to our next shirt, which is a knick-knack Tabasco. shirt? You always say these things and we've never had any discussion about this. Would you wear a knick-knack

Tabasco shirt? Yeah, if it also said give the dog a bone. Should it say knick-knack on the front and Tabasco with an exclamation point on the back? I don't know. You know it would be awesome as if it's a picture of Hervey Village has with

the tray and it's got Tabasco on it. On the back, it's the back of him, the same thing. Back of him. Boy, if only we knew some very talented artists. I can think of two already. Nicknack Tabasco shirt. If you'd like one, hashtag Nicknack Tabasco.

So what's the amount of hashtags you have to get for this to have? Oh, if we get 50 Nicknack Tabasco shirt, 50, hashtag Nicknack Tabasco shirt. 50, hashtag Nicknack Tabasco. tag at Matt Meyer, M-A-T-M-A-R-A-N-A-R-A-N-A-G-T-G-O-U-R-E-Y. If we get 50 of those, we will get this shirt made. Okay, fair. If you want a hashtag Nick N-N-A-Tabasco shirt. I'll just say also I'm on a social media break for Christmas, so I'm going to have to

count on myself. Matt's going to take my word for it. I'll check in on my desktop maybe once every day or two, but I took those apps off my phone, and it just felt so good. How has your social media break gone? Well, it's only been two days, but it's been wonderful. You're off of the grams as well? Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.

Wow. I just took the apps off my phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I pick up my phone, and I'm like, I'm supposed to do something with this, and there's nothing to do. And I put it down, and I live my life. I like this. Okay.

I think I'm going to do that my week off when I'm off in Palm Springs over Christmas. You should. You're going to check the fuck out. The world is stressing me. It, as it should. Yeah. The world is enough, it turns out. It is.

So if there's any Bond 25 news, I will have to convey it to Matt over text. Yeah. So, Mayor of the Golden Gun, great times, very simple death. That's right. The next movie we're going to talk about. Wait. Oh, you have to give you number eight. Number eight for me, and we're going to talk about it from Russia with Love.

Well, we're back to simple deaths here. Yeah. Now, from Russia with Love is ranked 17th for me. And this, again, suffers from the bond doesn't do it. Right. Aspect of things. It's a proto-domino kill. It comes before it, but I don't think it does it as well.

We'll talk about that. It is a proto-domino. But in many ways, there is more, well, I don't know if there's more, but there is an emotional residence with this death. Because you still don't fully know how much Tatiana is on board until this moment, I think. Yeah. For those who are wondering, maybe haven't watched from Rushwood Love in a while, Tatiana shoots Rosicleb.

Yeah. In the chest. Right. Best way to take down a film. Rosa Club's death is pretty good, though. She has one of those kind of slow. Yeah. Doesn't she just kind of inch back down the wall or something like that?

Yeah, slow act amount death. Yeah. Yeah. That's the best villain death. Western death. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking forward to watching that movie again.

Yeah. I was just thinking about the fact that it literally, the way we've structured it this time around, it's crazy to me that we're not going to be done with these movies. it's going to take a year to get through them. Yeah. It's crazy. I know. I can't believe we found something to do in between every episode. Yeah, and some of these have been some of my favorites. I think more fun.

If you think more fun, tweet us. Go ahead. Hashtag Tabasco. Nicknack Tabasco. Okay, so number nine, sorry, number seven. For me is my favorite death so far, obviously. Tomorrow never dies. which we were talking about.

Okay. Because you ranked it very, not nearly as high as me, but much higher than I thought you did. Thought you would. The reason why is because I'm so pleased when he gets killed in this movie because it means the movie's over.

It means his character's over. It's as grandiose a death. I think the death is befitting of the character. So you're really taking a lot of your emotions and placing them in this. I think so. Well, man, I'm going to tell you, there's a couple things I really enjoy about this death. Okay.

Number one is that they have a robotic, uh, saw, drill. I don't know. That's part of the problem. A sea drill. What the hell is this? We're calling it a sea drill. Sea drill. That, from a mechanical standpoint, seems to be propulsed.

That's not a word, is it? Propeld? Propel. Propel. repelled via water streaming through it. Now, it is in dry dock. It is, it is dry. I don't understand how this thing is being moved.

Exactly. It's so dumb. And I also don't understand Carver's desire not to get out of the way. He's staring at it for a good two and a half seconds. Yeah. Just screaming. You're right. Instead of moving.

I should have this lower on my list. It should be lower on everybody's list. But the more I talk about it, the more I enjoy it. And James Bond's line, give the people what they want, Elliot. What does that even mean? I don't know. But he dies from a sea drill. Which is of his own design and his own comeuppance.

Hoisted by his own pittard. That is a signature James Bond. Thumbs up death. All right. I love Tomorrow Never Dies, more than any James Bond fan on the planet. It's not your number one movie. I know. There's people out there.

There's some real misguided. There's no one out there. Like just see-through-skinned-looking people that live in their basement. There's someone out there that's their favorite movie. Disagree. Can't be. If it's your favorite movie, tweet at Matt Myra. This is my favorite movie.

hashtag hashtag I've never seen the sun hashtag no the hashtag for Tomorrow Never Dies would be TND Best I'll look at that hashtag hashtag cry for help so Tomorrow Never Dies is ranked where

for both of us skewed to number 10 so in the bottom half now we're getting no no because it's 19 total so we're getting towards the golden age Speaking of which, Matt, what is your number seven?

Number seven is time to talk. The world is not enough. The world is nothing. I never thought I'd see a Brosnan movie this high on my list. Well, it's higher than mine. 14 for me. I still haven't even mentioned Goldenite yet. But this one's good because it's just a gunshot.

But you really don't know at the end if he's going to shoot a woman until he does, you know. I like that. That's something we have not seen in a Bond film, and I think it's pretty good, and it's what number is tomorrow is the world, is not enough? Like, number... 19. So it took 19 bond films, and you're left wondering, like, is this going to be a death or not? Because also, we've learned with Costco, but doesn't necessarily have to happen. I find it to be a good death. What's interesting about this one, too, is that Judy Dench and witnesses this death. Right. And doesn't even Electro King kind of go, like, you won't show. shoot me.

Yeah. Yeah. You love me too much. It was sort of like, I don't know, was it Bond saying like here, it's like that kind of a little bit of that backwards 90s feminism where it's creeping out, but it's also like, well, if you're not going to cook anymore, you can die like a man. It's that kind of like misguided. Equality, right?

I don't know what it is. She, I mean, you're supposed to. feel this sort of exaggerated emotional connection between Bond and Elektra or with Bond towards Elektra in this movie where it's almost like it does become a sort of it does become a heavy sort of Bond falling head over heels for her more so than warranted you more so not only more so than warranted but more so than a lot of the previous films like Bon Don doesn't really fall for women. Well, I'll point you to the film right before it, where he falls for Paris again.

I don't think that's a fall for. I really think that's more of a, let's try to recapture the lost magic. And it doesn't work, and I think they will know that. Okay. And it does have Pierce Brosons patented, I'm going to hover over a dead woman on a bed. Trademarked. before I get to the rest of business. We're going to do a t-shirt

with Brasen standing over a bed of just 12 dead women. The worst t-shirt ever made. He can't leave the room. He's so emotionally connected to all of them. The worst. Yet responsible for each of their deaths. All right.

So that was, that was, that was my number seven. The world is not enough. Was that your number seven? No, my number seven. was tomorrow never dies, which you talked about. That we talked about, the world's not enough. And now we're going to talk about Goldfinger. That's your number six.

That is my number six. So why so high? I really enjoy him getting sucked out of a plane. You don't find it too silly for even that movie? Oh, it's so silly. And I think that's why it's ranked so highly for me. So what problem, why do you have such a problem with live and let die?

Have you not mentioned that yet? I have not mentioned that. Okay. You have such a problem with it. That's right. I'm consistent. I forget a lot of things. I really...

Okay, I like the writing of it. I like the foreshadowing of it. I like Bond setting it up, saying if you shoot me with that, you'll tear through the fuselage and the pressure will suck us out. So it's like, hey, audience, now you know it's going to happen. Maybe it's the execution that's just not good for me. Is the execution that he's in a general's uniform and has a gold revolver? Not only that, but the size of the window and the size of the man and the cutting away.

If I recall, I think this is actually the death in the novel. I'm not mistaken. The Gert-Frobe of it all. Actually, keep talking because that's on this list, too. Okay, well, what I really like about this particular death. No, he strangled a death by Bond after hijacking an airport. Well, I mean, there's an airplane hijacking. We should take a second to list some of these.

I've forgotten some of these deaths in the novels. So finish your thoughts on Goldfinger. I like it. I just like it, because you think he's dead. You forget about him. You sort of forget about the character. You're like, oh, he and pussy are happily enjoying this. As a child, you didn't forget.

How can you forget? He's looming large. As a child, though, I'm just like, Oh, well, they got out of this one. And then, oh, no, he's back. And then, oh, boy, he's sucked out of a window. Yeah, it's just all a little too silly for me. All right, fine.

And also the under cranking of the camera. That always kind of ruins it for me a little bit. There's too much crank. There's too much undercranking, over cranking. And we're about to see the movie that is the worst at it, speed ramping and dying other days. Oh, yeah. Let me just mention a couple notable deaths in the novels.

All right. I'll just do a couple. And Dr. No, he's buried under a pile of guano. Okay. This is one death they still have not done in the movies that I'm surprised they've not used in the Hildebrand Rarity. Milton Crest, the girl in that puts up like a puffering, like a spiked pufferfish down his throat and it inflates. I can't believe they haven't used that. Poison.

Yeah, but not just poison, but like the barbs of it, I think. Oh, boy. Yeah. Milton Crest. I mean, Milton Crest does have a pretty good death. That's true. But I forgot also, Blowfeld is killed. He's strangled to death by Bond.

So is his wife. That's about it. Okay. That's very exciting. Yeah. You know what else is exciting, man? What's that? You're number six.

Number six, it's time to talk golden eye. All right. What do you like so much about it? You've ranked it higher than me. It's time for you to defend your golden eye. Well, I think this is the most overkill of any death, maybe. So this is the Han Solo of the James Bond franchise. It's not just that he's essentially killed two different ways.

First, he's pretty much beaten. Then he's dropped on purpose, right? I don't think so. Oh, no, it is. It is. Yeah. Yeah, it is. So he falls and he's not, you think he's dead. He's not dead. No, he's not dead. We cut to a Sean Bean with hilariously broken legs. Not only is he then impaled by the falling, like, array thing or whatever. But he wakes up enough to experience it. Yeah. And it is like beat by beat. Very comical. Maybe a little too much even for this movie, but I do enjoy it. If you're going to go that way, I think it's done pretty well. And it's pretty good. good just desserts. Yeah. I always, I can never get over the,

uh, being still alive after that fall. Yeah. It, it, it definitely has that naked gun feel. Remember, yes,

some villain just get repeatedly killed. Ricardo Montaubon? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I feel like they're related in some way, but. Yeah.

So you had this pretty low. Well, it's in the middle for me. As far as, you know, actually it was number nine. It's not that low. And I do like,

like the scale of it. And that that bums it way up for me. The scale of the death. Yeah. The personalness with which the death occurs. And it's one of the, yeah, he could save him, but he doesn't. Mm. That's, that's interesting to me.

I like it when there's an emotional moment, not just a spectacle. I like a bond choosing to kill people. I do too, yeah. I like the thought process. Yeah, a lot has been made of that. Roger Moore moment with the car, including by Roger Moore. Oh, Roger. Lake Wright, Sir Roger Moore.

We still have not talked about those four films I mentioned. That's true. That's telling. This seems like we're going to be talking a lot here. Yeah. So number five for me is view to a kill. Surprising. I know.

Number five for me, another previously unmentioned Moonraker. Okay, so number four for me, Quantum of Salus. Number four for me, Quantum of Salas. Is this the only one that is lined up? No, I think we had one more, maybe Spy Who Love Me. This one is just so outside the realm of Bond deaths that I love it. This one feels so much to me like how I imagine the literary James Bond would do things. That's true, yeah.

It's also indicative of this movie in that it doesn't show you... It's unfinished. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to watching this film again. Yeah. I love this death. I love... You see the realization on Green's face, and that even though he hands him motor oil,

which apparently in the rest of the world is packaged like tennis balls are here, which threw me the first time I saw it. I'm like, why is he giving him tennis balls? Cans of oil were odd to you? Well, but here they don't come in long, thin tubes with yellow plastic like Pringles can't. He's either throwing him Pringles or tennis balls. Both of which are going to be deadly in the desert. Pringles will get you a little farther than oil.

Oh, I disagree. You ever eat a Pringle? You're so thirsty. You're even thirsty. And you can't stop. Once you pop, you can't stop. But it is a gruesome and it doesn't need to be seen. In fact, they don't even need to come back and confirm he was dead.

I love it. Yeah. I love it. It's so brutal. And it's a great death for someone like that who's just kind of like weasily and ruthless. It's a very fitting death. The two gunshots to the head thing is always baffling to me. Not baffling.

Yeah, because it implies they found him alive still. He had already drunk the motor oil. Correct. But that's the thing. He's giving him motor oil means he knows he's going to drink it because he's going to be so, so thirsty that he's. he'll drink something that it would be better off if he didn't even drink it. Is that true? Yes.

If you're a doctor, tell us, should I drink motor oil or drink nothing? There's no way it would be. Of course, I mean, you would immediately wretch, I would think, and then get more dehydrated. That's true. There's no way motor oil could be good for you. Yeah. Plus, Dominic Green, I think, is such a great villain. Yeah.

Who's the best villain of the, you? Daniel Craig era. Well, I'd put it between... We've not ranked the villains. No, let's save it then, because we'll do a villain ranking. I like how we're ranking their deaths before we're ranking now.

Well, we also could do villain plans. That's true. God. There are some terrible plans. All right, so Matt Goerly and I, we agree on Quantra of Salas. Number three, for me, license to kill.

Number three for me, license to kill. Amazing. Here we go. What do I like about this one? What don't I like about this one? This one's just savage. He's a savage villain.

He's cutting people's hearts out. And it's a good fitting. I think the more fitting the death, the more exciting it is. Yeah, it's also personal, so personal in this case. perhaps only you know differently personal than electric king

but also very personal to bond and I think that the way that it all goes down you're having a chase oil tankers they're full of gas that is also cocaine hoisted by his own part hard here for sure

killed by the lighter that was given to him by Felix killed by the Felix lighter yeah but not the movie in which he says a genuine Felix Laja. Right. That happens in... Doesn't that happen in Live and Let Die? When does he say that?

Lover's not expert? Yes, it is when he's in the car. Yeah. Yeah. Same Felix. Yeah. Whoa. David Hedison.

Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. And, you know, he's just the moment of recognition on Dobby's face when he sees, when he sees that lighter, and realizes, boy, if I wasn't so hell-bent on revenge against cops. Also, there are people, stuntmen burned in movies,

and they are in a suit, and it kind of flames up, but he goes up like an inferno and right away. And appropriately so, because there is gas leaking all over him. Yeah. So it logically makes sense. Boy, I'm still on the lookout for that lighter, by the way. That'd be nice to have. They don't make,

DuPont stop making the lighter with the plain side that you could engrave. It's like an etched side now. They make that model still. Sorry, Dunhill. And I've been looking for it. I have my eyes open for it. So I'm hoping to find two so we can both have one. Keep us, keep us posted.

I will. I would love that. I will. Okay. You'd want it engraved exactly the same, right? Yeah, of course. But yeah. It's a fitting end.

for a fitting revenge movie. That's right. Which is what that movie is. It's a revenge movie. So, Matt, number two for me, we're going to talk about it. Live and Let Die.

Boo-doo, do. Listen, it's bond a T-shirt. It's something that is perhaps the most ridiculous death. Well, it is the most ridiculous death. You're not going to find any argument here on that. At least I have that. But, boy, just to float into the sky and blow into pieces from a shark gun or shark bullet.

There's so many things I think out of sync with this. I don't know. Kenanga, I feel like, is a pretty, a relatively serious villain. He's a real happy. You know and so like to literally have the opposite physically of that where he becomes Lighter than air it's he's he his come up and But wait a minute so is there also helium in this thing or has he already sprung a leak in his doing a float to the ceiling So there's enough helium packed in that thing or is it compressed air which still wouldn't make him I don't think it's compressed air I always thought it was helium

There's not enough helium it's not enough helium it's It takes... You don't know. Think of how much helium it takes to make a balloon go up. You don't know what Kew Branch has up there. No way. You don't know if Kew Branch has some chemical compound. You haven't even gotten into that.

What if Q's chemical compound turns water, which the body is mostly water, right, into helium? No way. No way. I mean, I know it's impossible, but so is a rebreather. Yeah, but at least that... I don't know. It doesn't confound the imagination. There's also only a finite amount of helium.

I know. There's a shortage. So, seems odd. But this, this wasn't that case. What are you looking at? Oh, sorry,

I thought that was a squirrel in the hummingbird feeder. Oh, that'd be crazy. There's something going on there. Squirrel shouldn't do that. That'd be crazy. What is shaking that branch?

We got some hot outdoors action here at the Casa de Gourley. Yeah. It's just so ridiculous. It's great. I do love. it, don't get me wrong. It's just...

It's also like when a Bond villain dies at the hands of a Bond gadget. How often does that happen? Not that often. Moon Raker. Licensed to kill, does that count? Not a gadget as much. I actually don't think it does.

Moonraker. It's always the henchmen. Because the, you know, story structure-wise, it's like always going to be like, how will Bond get out of this? Yeah. Because he usually uses his gadget, on the henchman.

So that's a... It's really just Moonraker and this one. Yeah. So, Matt, number one for you, what is it? Wait, number one. Aren't we on number two? You're number two.

My number two. Was you live and let die? No, I'm sorry. That was your number three. That was my number two? That was your number two? Yeah. Okay, my number two is Thunderball.

Boy, this is befuddling to me. It's why it's so high. not at the hands of Bond, as we all know, one of my prerequisite. It's so well done, and I actually find it to be a compelling twist, and the emotional stakes of it are really interesting to me. I think it's executed well, no pun intended. I think it's what, kind of what from Russia was love was going for, but this one handles it really well. And I think it's more satisfying to have Domino get that kill than Bond. I like this ending. a lot. It saves this movie a lot for me.

As we know, this movie is not a favorite of mine. It's not a favorite of mine. And it does suffer for why I ranked it number 15 out of 19. Even though, but the ending alone, you don't like? You don't think the ending's better than that? Well, it's just, it does fall into my whole, my personal requisite here is that, bond should do it. Yeah, this is the one that I would take out of that category and feel like because it's the

exception to that rule, it works so much better. The one of them. It's the only one of those that really works for me, I think. There's so much harpooning in this movie. That's true, but I'm like, my harpoon, like, it's consistent with the team. My harpoon tolerance is already tested. That's right, because what's his little henchman gets it with a harpoon too? What's that guy's name?

Vargoose. I'll tell you that what I do like about a harpoon death is that you unlike a bullet you get to watch the harpoon travel Yeah Because it doesn't move fast enough Just check out Friday the 13th part of three In 3D

Comes at you Oh boy The craze of 3D Yeah I miss it If you had to put one Bond movie in 3D What would it be Hmm

Probably Moonraker Or live and let die maybe You know it might be quantum solace What? That I think that that is visually A great movie I think the visuals of it

But mostly it's just so I can have that car chase in 3D Yeah I love that car chase Somebody out there Put that in 3D Have they done it Fast and Furious in 3D? I don't know I've never seen one of those movies As we know

we, as we pitched on our podcast where we watch all of them nonstop and then end up in the theater and we have to, we can't eat or something, what was it? We're just going to get more furious as we go through the. We fast while we watch them and get more furious because that's right. All right. Number two. Okay. Number two?

That was your number two. For me, it was Living Light Donnie. Okay, my number two is Thunderball. So all we have left are Moonraker and of you to a kill. So what's your number one? I think you know the answer to that. That's Moonraker. Now, you're asking yourself, man, why would you rank that so highly?

Well, I ranked it pretty highly, too. It's my job to answer you, though. Okay. Here's the deal. Not only does he get killed by a Bond gadget, he gets sucked into space. He gets sent into outer space. What better way to be killed?

is there than being sent into outer space. He also has a great line right before it happens, right? You have a nasty habit of not dying or something like that? Yeah. He has some good lines in that movie. I really enjoy tracks as a character. I do too. I enjoy the campiness of the movie.

And I think that the campiness of the movie is just like it's like when you put parmesan shred some fresh parmesan on a good pasta you're like that is that's exactly what this needed well because he's so dry and he plays it really straight the rest of the movie is so big around him the Moonwringer has some of my favorite moments

in Bond movies the pigeon double take the pigeon double take of course you know the the the pheasant hunting scene the museum fight

and it's Bernard Lee's last film. Yeah. And what I do like about this death is how crazy it is. It's the culmination of a movie where the U.S. Army has lasers in space.

They have a whole space mission force. A space battalion. Space Marines. Space Marines with lasers. Well, of course you're going to have someone jettisoned into outer space. So Hugo Drax, you go down and I enjoy it. Whatever effect they use to launch Hugo Drax into space also feels like Michael Lonsdale himself is being put out.

Like, it feels like it's undignified for him. Yeah. And so it somehow reads very satisfyingly because you feel like even the actor playing him is like being put out. He almost looks like an infant. Yeah. He's like very stiff. Well, when he turns to the model, yeah. Yeah.

because he's probably probably in some harness or something. All right, that brings us to my number one. Which is my number five, which is now our number one, because whoever goes last. But it isn't really. Someone will rank the spread. Oh. And send us that, please. We really need to keep a database of these things, like a website that would have all of these.

People do such a good job of figuring out the actual means of these things or whatever it is. but mine is, of course, a view to a kill. I think it's the most wonderful death in all of the Bond films. And a reason why many people should like this film more than they do. It's ranked very highly for me. It's number five. It's in the top five of 19 movies, so that tells you something. I think it's the cherry on top of this death is the laugh that Christopher

walking gives as he's about to die like, I'll be damned, you got me. How about that? The irony of this all. And the fact that just, is there, are there any good? falls? Like what other villains fall to their death other than... Alec Trevely? Yeah. But this one is so much more. You can imagine it more. It's, it feels scary. It's... And you watch him slowly slide too where you like, you see him realizing he can't stay gripped. And you feel for him? A little bit. The man who tried to set off an

earthquake. But you still, you, you, you, I don't know, this, this has the effect. The man who stands there with a machine gun with an oozy and... I know. I know. I'm not saying I want to save them. Mowing down workers. You just are able to put yourself in his shoes because you've probably imagined yourself falling some time before. I mean, who doesn't imagine himself falling off the... It's an effective death.

And it's a good one for this villain. And he's somehow... He's not even above seeing how fitting his own death is with a laugh. I love that moment. I think that it's such an icon. landmark. Yeah, that's a better thing, yeah. You know, perhaps the most iconic landmark

west of the Mississippi is the Golden Gate Bridge, not counting, of course, natural, like Grand Canyon or the Teton's or the golden arches, or rather arches, not the golden arches. The golden arches. But I think because of that, you're immediately drawn into the scale of the fight and the scale of the death. And, you know, it gets a little bit of a bump up for me after he falls because we're then privy to the dynamite cabinet that the professor, the mad German Nazi scientists,

It's a way big dynamite. I know. Lord. That's such a... That's a good one. It is a good death. Yeah. It is a good death.

That death actually, describing that death, brought me more joy than Moonraker. Yeah. Let's recap these here. So your top five survival slash escapes from worst to first

are Koskhov and live and let die Blofeld and Specter Blofeld and Diamonds are forever Blofeld and You Only Live Twice and Blofeld and On Her Majesty's Secret Service And the best villain deaths According to us From 19 to 1

Are Kamal Khan in Octopusi Christatos in Four Your Eyes Only Gustav Graves and Die Another Day Lesheef in Casino Royale Silva in Skyfall Dr. No in Dr. No Stromberg in Spy Who Loves Me Scaramonga and Man with a Golden Gun

Rosa Klebben from Russia with love Elliot Carver and Tomorrow Never Dies Electric King in the world is not enough Goldfinger in Goldvinger Alec in Golden Eye Green in Quantum of Salas Sanchez in License to Kill

Cananga and Living Let Die Largo and Thunderball Drax and Moon Raker and Zorin and a view to a kill and there you have it. Wow. Any closing thoughts, Matt? Very fun list to make.

Yeah, that was a good one. Really fun to sort of go through these moments. I wish we had it to do all over again. You know what? There's plenty more rankings. We get down to it. Whatever we do a ranking, we think of another ranking we should do. That's right.

And we haven't forgotten our Indiana Jonesing. That will come periodically throughout the run. We're also going to start getting into some of these off-shoot movies because Matt's schedule was such that we had to record late at night. But now we're a little freer, and we can fit some movies in maybe hopefully next time we'll start with one. We've got some weekends now. That's right. I'm very excited about it.

But I have to say, everybody, very exciting time, because James Bonding will return with Die Another Day. And keep a look out for ticket information on our live show December 7th at some UCB or another. If you show up, it means we get to do more. Maybe we'll be in our costumes. Bye, James Bonding. It's a leisure suit. It's a lifestyle. We'll return.

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Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord.

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