James Bonding - You Only Live Twice with Vanessa Ramos

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

The Matts welcome Vanessa Ramos to the show to talk about You Only Live Twice! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com It's like Japanese cherry blossoms falling from the tree, cascading down till they hit a cold, cold Tokyo ground. Or a pond. You only live twice. Once when you're born and once when you look death in the face. This is the music of a people who cultivate sand for a garden.

Not to simplify them in any way. Listen, they just taste different. This is straight from the movie. This song is, I love this song. I really do like the song a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, Nancy. These boots are made for singing James Bond tunes.

You know, she was very nervous when she was recording this. They had to do it a ton of different times and then patch all. vocal recordings together. Really? She was really nervous, apparently. I bet Pro Tools would have sped that up. Yeah, yeah. Back then it was just amateur tools.

They used hammers and nails. Really fucked up the tape machine every time they ran it through. Yeah. Anyway. Welcome to James Bonding, everybody. That song lets you know that we are at what many consider

the final Sean Connery. James Bond movie. You only live twice. I'm so glad we're here. I know. Our guest today is Vanessa Ramos. Vanessa, welcome to our program. Thanks for having me.

Vanessa is a very funny comedy writer. She writes with me over on the At Midnight Program. She's a veteran of making fun of fat people on roasts. I also make fun of gay people. How about Japanese people? People who don't have careers. Well, joy, I haven't been on a Dekai roast. Well, did I just get racist or...

Okay. The only Japanese person you could think of is George Takeda. Well, I'm trying to think who we've had that's been on those things. But I only did Roseanne and James Franco. So it's been pretty white. Yeah. It's about as wide as well as. And Wayne Rady was on Roseanne, so I maintain my statement of that being pretty white.

Yeah, no, Vanessa is super funny. She is on Twitter at that Ramos girl. Follow her and enjoy that. She's one of my favorite people. and my best friend in the writer's room. Really? Are you guys the Sam and Diane? Of our cheers?

Yeah. I feel like we're the Frazier and Diane, and she's going to leave me at the altar. I understand. That's a fourth season reference to Cheers. Yeah. Anybody? No.

I don't know where we are in our bar sitcom. Just a lot of time spent on Reddit. It is a lot of time spent on Reddit, writing that program. Yeah. So, Vanessa, we like to ask everybody what their sort of James Bond life experiences, whether it's

any or none. Yeah, I feel like I'm just going to bombard you guys with underwhelming's. Go ahead. So, I think I saw like Golden Eye, but I was also like 12, so in my mind it was kind of like,

oh, that's the run by fruiting guy from Mrs. Doubtfire. His name was Stuart. Yeah, like that's kind of where I came from with that. And then I feel like I saw on HBO the end of one of the Daniel Craig ones. I know he likes to lead last name first in introductions. Yes.

And I know he has a beverage of choice. He does. Is it the Starbucks Valencia Orange refresher that I'm enjoying right now? How can you drink that, by the way? I had that once because they were like, oh, we're giving these out for free because it's our first time doing this. And it tastes like Mexican orange soda mixed with. water and the sun. Yeah. Isn't it great? You're drinking

the sun? He's drinking the sun. I will admit the first time I had it. I'm like, no, and I don't remember what the second circumstance was, but the second one is the one that gets you. And this is not, we're not endorsed by Starbucks in any way, but I've got up, we're open to it. A bit of a bad addiction to one of these

things. I'm not quite... To this particular beverage? Yeah. I, listen, I drink ice vente Americanos like they are going out of style. Well, James Bonn used to drink Americanos, the booze. So at least. Did he? Nice.

Yeah. Anyway, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to buzz market Starbucks for God's sake. Buzz market. I was surprised because I hadn't really seen, like I've heard rumors of young Sean Connery in his handsomeness. But I hadn't really seen him. And I was like, oh, he looks very, he's very cluny. I mean, not that he's not hot in like the You're the Man Now Dog movie.

Like he's still hot in the men. In the You're the Man Now Dog's movie. I only know movies based on, I only know movies based on popular. Lines Based on popular lines from the trailer I don't know any names

Have you ever seen Luke I'm your father? I have I That sounds familiar Is your favorite Shock Connery

movie Welcome to the Rock Yeah It helps too When there's like A film That also is like The title of like

All Dogs Go to Heaven I feel like That's said Within the film And so I'm like Oh yeah That's what movie That was

Well I I forgot that The You Only Live Twice It was set in this movie Which it is By Donald You Only

You only live twice, Mr. Bond. God, damn it. That's some good choices here going on. We'll get to that. Do you find him to be, because this is younger Sean Connery, but older Sean Connery James Bond. He's in his doughier period. Like, they shouldn't have put him in a turtleneck at the end, basically, because he's not unfit, but he's not classic, Dr. No, fit, lean James Bond. Do you find him attractive, compelling?

What do you think? I do. Yeah, that's good. I think it's the whole thing of, like, no, I think it's like he can hang out, you know, he can out but it's like oh let me go kill a bunch of ninjas for the other side I don't even know. Ninjas for the other side.

It's a fair question. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know. When she pointed out the Clooney resemblance, I actually did notice that in, particularly in this movie because right now I feel like you only live twice.

Connery is the same age as Clooney now. This is what I feel like. He's got those, those dark, just willowy chestnut eyes. Yeah, and the wrinkles in all the right places. Sure, sure. Yeah. Also, when they like,

treasure maps. When they disguise him and they just give him like a George Lopez haircut and like thicker eyebrows, he was still attractive. It's the close. Even with the posture, I don't know what he had to hunch over because he's fucking six-two. It made me have strange feelings about George Lopez. He's six-two, so he would be, which is very funny to watch him tower over everybody he was

walking around in Japan. Yeah, even slumped. Yeah. Incredibly slumped. He's still down around. Yeah. And a couple of those shots on the streets there You can see all the people in the background just watching

Which is something that happens in Diamonds of Forever too Yeah, you know, you pointed that out But that, and that sort of reminded me of why Clooney wanted, I mean, not Clooney, Connery wanted out Oh yeah Because Japan was bonkers for him I wish that kind of that we were doing this for the live episode And that we could get full Japanese makeovers for the live show

Wouldn't that be amazing? And then both of us just slump our way out there. We're going to figure that out. I've got to talk to Janet about that. Yeah, but I'm still down to do it. I mean, we can do a lot of code. Yeah. I'll be the Chinese CIA guy.

You can be that equestrian henchwoman that is Jenny Flex. I was just assuming I was going to be Grace Jones. Oh, lucky. Lucky. I already have the Unitar. Who doesn't? The poster unit. Who in this room doesn't?

Okay, so the only of twice is the second to last of the thing. I got bummed out at the end of this movie, by the way, when it says he will return in Honor Majesty's Secret Service. And I was like, oh, what if? Yeah. What if he did return in Honor Majesty's Secret Service? It's crazy because they, you know, he had another film contractually after this.

So when you always hear the story about the producers, Covey Broccoli and Salisman saying, oh, they never gave him any more money. They not only let him out of his last film, But then offered him a million dollars to do it. And he turned it down. So he did have his opportunity. He turned out a million for Honor Magazine.

I believe that's what I read somewhere in my mind. A million dollars, as you know, Vanessa, in 1967, is $8 billion today. I think that's how inflation works. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. But, again, just don't. I'm just laying up with the emails. I know. I'm just trying to, because when we started watching it, it was like the DVD menu,

they just kind of showed the villain briefly. And I was like, well, I get this if I haven't seen the first Austin Powers. And did it make any sense? Because it may not have any way. Like even if you're watching some of the other movies, they don't always make perfect sense. Yeah. The plots are pretty...

This? No, I think I was able to follow somewhat... I was surprised that there was a... I did cite a black guy early on, which I was not expecting. Yeah, yeah. Early on the control room at NASA. That was exciting.

I pointed that out to Matt immediately. And then it's like, okay, so we're starting off dead. We have this thing where she points up... black guys to me. This plot's pretty straightforward. It's pretty decent. It's a great plot. I might argue with some of the, like, I don't know, we'll get to it.

I can argue with all of the technology. Yeah, yeah. But I think I've mentioned before that this is not one of my favorite Bond films. In fact, I did these series of little write-ups on these things, and this was very low-ranked for me. But I watched it again, and I liked it a lot more. It's amazing how it can change. It's human nature, everybody. Guys, your taste change as you get older and wiser and begin to realize that you only live twice as better than you think it is.

I think it is. First, it's worse than you think it is, then it's better than you think it is. I don't know what it is later. Here's why this should be my favorite James Bond movie off the bat. Opens up on a Gemini Space Capsule. These special effects for the time, pretty impressive, right? Except for the volcano at the end. Yeah, the optical eruption. Terrible.

I don't know why they couldn't find stock footage of a volcano. I think they did, but they put two pieces together. together for some reason. I don't understand it. Yeah, so it opens up on a Gemini capsule. So, the viewer at home is like, oh, this is current space times. And I'm a Gemini. You are a Gemini.

Oh, my lord, I'm a Leo. It's all coming together. There are five of it's in this room. All right. I thought it was amusing when Capcom told the Gemini capsule that it was go for a fourth orbit. There's no stopping the orbit. You can't tell it to go ahead with a fourth orbit. Because it's moving at 25,000.

thousand miles an hour and it can't stop. Anyway, lots of stock NASA footage. I feel like all of their budget went there. They were very accurate, I will say, with the gun that he has when he comes out of the space capsule. That gun is the same exact design that Ed White used on the first NASA EVA, which is the extra vehicular activity. When he goes out and Ed White was using that, that's how they piloted themselves around

with that little gun. they would shoot nozzle left and right, and then he could move like that. It's gravity all over again. It was gravity all over again. And when that thing got cut, oh, that was tense. It is a great gripping, clever opening.

Yeah. I think this may be one of the first Bond films I've ever seen. I know Octopus was my first in the theater, but I remember this at an early age on VHS or ABC or something, watching it with my dad going, why is he Japanese? Dad, why is the Scottish man Japanese? I don't know, son. Why does he have a vitamin deficiency?

Why does he bend like that? So I know you notice all of the technology and all of like that stuff. But did you notice that one shot where like the main guy in the control room is just like they kind of zoom in on him? And then it seems like they're looking at different like, let's see if we can find something bluer than his eyes. Like they just went to like there was a shot at the sky. I somehow missed that. It was poetic. Yeah.

I do know what you're talking about. This is the first Bond film directed by Lewis Gilbert, who I hasten you all to YouTube to, to look up a clip of him. And he's the sweetest old man. He wears a button-up shirt that's buckled up all the way with no tie. And he's got glasses. And he talks, he's British,

but he does that thing with his ars. So he talks like this. And when we were doing James Bond, it was very, very fun. He's so sweet. But he was, he came right off of Alfie with Michael Kane. And he was kind of, they always go for these artsy directors for Bond films.

And you have to hand it to him for that. Except the three films that Lewis Gilbert have done, have been complete repeat. So it's you only live twice. Space capsule gets captured by a big spaceship. Ends up in a volcano layer. Then we go to Moonraker where a spy who love me, where a big submarine gets captured by a bigger ship,

ends up in a big hangar. Army fighting army, ninja's fighting army. Then Moonraker, where a space shell gets captured and stolen and ends up on a space station with an army fighting army in space. They're the three same movies.

And you could even say tomorrow never dies is kind of similar to that too. I'll get into that. No wait to do that one. That's next week. No. The world is not enough. Shirley Manson, classic.

I would like to point out that for no reason whatsoever in Capcom there was a pariscope. Really? Yes. If you look to the right, it's covered. It's got a red covering on it, but there's a periscope in there, which I'm going to say... Not needed. The music in this opening scene, in the space thing? Come on.

How do you feel about it? Oh, it's so good. James Barry James Barry James Barry It's your cousin James Barry The problem with doing

these Saturday morning recordings is that I just woke up Yeah I mean that's the Let's talk about I was actually able to follow The James Barry thing I was like oh yeah

I like that guy too James Barry He of course meant John Barry Before anybody tweets us And they will Yeah Okay so also a guy and it refers to Houston as Houston.

It feels very... Houston. Superman, too. Houston! What is this Houston? The Planet Houston. I had a shirt that had Zod on the front. Yeah. And it had a big Earth with an oil rig coming off of it.

And it said Planet Houston. I'm into that. I miss that shirt. I've been trying to get my two buddies, Brandon and Jesse, the three of us, to go as those original Zod, Ursa, and Nahn. Oh, yeah. And my friend Brandon will play Ursa. Jonah did a pretty good Zod on The Nerdist. We did a sketch for a supervillain conference called Zod Tux.

This beard coming in right now for me is just enough gray that I'm going to start to be able to pull off Zod. I love it. I love it. I'm pro this beard. Okay, so we see this whole space situation happening. And then, of course, we see James Bond. in bed with the Chinese girl. And how do we know she's Chinese, Matt?

What does he say to her? Chinese girls taste different. Chinese girls taste. Because of the MSG. That's true. That's absolutely true. It's a great reveal, though. I'm trying to remember what it is.

I like caviar. It's the same as I like Peking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that... What does that mean? He somehow managed to make food racist. I said that he...

He is, James Bond's being racist in the most handsome way possible. Yeah. No, well, I mean, it was kind of my first introduction to, like, him. I was embarrassed. I was like, oh. Yeah, and I was like, okay, so if this was set present day, he'd be listening to house music, right? Like, what kind of dude is this? Well, he would be wearing, like, a...

Modern day, James Bond is very handsome. Jim tan laundry is a part of his day. Gtel. Okay, so here's... Yeah, this happens. James Bond then, of course, here's the thing. I'm going to say it right now.

If you're a spy, don't get on a Murphy bed. Unless your intention is to fake your own death. Oh, yes. Double back in your face. In the happy place. Guys, we're following the plot along. We don't know that.

Oh, that's true. But it isn't true. Okay, yeah, so he ends up inside the Murphy bed and then a bunch of guys come in with machine guns and machine gun. And then the Hong Kong police. force comes, which at the time, Hong Kong under British rule, so

that's why there's a bunch of white guys coming. And he died doing what he loved. It's a great bond opening on the job. Exactly how much. He's coming off Thunderball that was kind of a little problematic, right? Problematic? Yeah.

I'd call it the slowest moving piece of shit ever committed to film. Seems a little harsh. So you've got this great space, epic space scene, tension, world issues going on, then this just what cliffhanger opening yeah he's dead oh my god turn off the movie right there and you're gonna want to turn off the movie but you don't turn off the movie because why what happens the credit sequence which brings us keeps us going to our alternate songs portion where i've got

two today uh did you know there are two alternate songs this is a new portion of a show where we present uh alternate versions of the theme song maybe but recorded by different artists yeah uh different Do you know where this is going? And we talk about it. Okay, so this was the first version recorded, and I guess they just thought maybe it just didn't have enough path. But there's something about it. It's got some definite stereotypical pizocado strings in it.

Oh, I love a good ticcato. This is Julie Rogers. I prefer a New York pizocado to Chicago pizcato. Do you? I mean, you couldn't get more like a western version of Asian. It sounds like the Siamese cat song from the lady in the door. This is what a cowboy wants to hear at a massage parlor. I can confirm that.

This is what a cowboy wants to hear it. It's a little low-key. It's too mozying or something. Is this Nancy? No, this is Julie. Rogers. And she's, even to this day, I think, a little miffed that her version didn't get used.

Well, she shouldn't be because this version is not as good as they as the latter's version. We'll let this play for a second. Then I'll play the second one where they went in the other direction. So if this is kind of easy... Brash metal? Well, at the time, if this is a little easy, listening loungy

for your grandma and grandpa, well, let's bring out your daughter's colored boyfriend and see what he'll bring in. All right. This is Lorraine Chandler, and we're going to get a little funky. All right.

Here we go. Yeah, baby. Hey, Daddy-O. Oh, he's walking it on the guitar. And then you get the bond theme in there. They weren't ready for this, yes. Roll the shoulders back. I just picture a lot of real low-swung bikini bottoms.

Yeah, yeah. You know what this is like? This is like the fifth dimension recorded. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now, I don't know that this... I know. I don't know that this was ever a serious contender for the film,

and I'm not sure of the circumstances of why it was made. Do you think that this is just like a negotiation ploy? Nancy, listen, we got this, and we will use it. Should be a serious contender for Sharon Jones' next album. Oh, we get. Anyway, we can talk over it now. I'll turn it down. No, you can just turn that.

Why do we have to stop? Why do we end with the shittiest one? I don't... Let's go back to Nancy's. You want to go back? I kind of like this one You know what, let's hear the Robbie Williams song Oh, no.

Is that a thing? Well, the sample, that he sampled the Yulamilin Lived Twice. What is it? I'm loving angels, angels. Is that the one? I don't know, but he uses that. That bitter sweet symphony?

No. You're thinking of the verve. But there are Coldplay covers of You Only Live Twice, and Bjork did a famous cover as well with David Arnold. Did Montel Jordan do one? because I'm kind of...

He wrote it. Okay. Originally, yeah. Well, he was originally James Bond. It's great. I feel like I missed that on something. He's tall enough, I feel like. What is the...

I need to know that Robbie Williams. I need to hear it real quick. I'm going to pull it up. So, Roll doll. Yeah, Roll doll wrote this. What's wrong, Matt? For those at home, Matt Goreley is dancing as though he's on laughing. I think it's, is it, does anyone know the name of the Robbie Williams song with Samples?

Our British listeners are going to be very angry at us because Robbie Williams, of course, is there, Bruce. I'm very angry at our British listeners for producing that artist from their country. No, it's not Angels, it's the next album. Well, I'll try, Vanessa, let's fill some. Well, Roll Doll wrote Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, and he wrote The Screenplay. to this, right? Yeah. And because Ian Fleming

wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and wasn't there some kind of deal where they wanted to swap? Yeah, they swapped. I don't think I'd heard this before you said this. It was like wife swapping.

It was like, hey, I'll write your Chitty Chitty Bang Bang movie if you take this Asian racist thing I wrote. I don't want my name on it. I say, old boy. I finally come up with the proper level of Eastern racism.

You know the Orientals. They've had it too easy. Well, you see, I'm busy right now. I'm working on this. It's a chocolate factory. You see? And what's going to have it is, I'm going to have a fat German boy in it,

and he's going to die. Okay. I'm already smoking, but could I trouble you for a cigarette? Yes, of course. Perhaps if you were to write this in, it could... Oh, very good.

Oh, that's too many. There's too many, my dear boy. You know that picture in the Guinness Book of World Records? That's me. You look like you're eating a giant peach. Oh, I've got to go. My cigarettes are... Gatling gone.

This is the one, right? That's it. I'll have to say if I had to listen to a Robbie Williams song, and I don't, this would be the wrong. All right, that's quite enough. Yeah, Robbie Williams did it. I'm pretty sure he is, he's hugely obsessed with James Bond, to my knowledge, and I think he is, and I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure he has. every car. Oh my God.

He is one of every bond car. That's like, that's Jay Leno levels of sin. That's what I would do. If I had the money, are you kidding me? I'd get this Toyota. He drives around in this one.

I'd rebuild that volcano from this movie. Seriously. I think I'd rather have that. What happened to Matt? After he got all that money, I would. He lives in a volcano.

I'd shave my head and wear a Nehru jacket. You can't go to his house unless you're wearing yellow, white, or red. All right, so we come out of... First of all, visually, I don't think the credit sequence is that great. A lot of lava, a lot of boring. I thought it was boring. This is Maurice Pender, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't enjoy it. Oh, well. Do you have any... Do you take umbrage with my opinion? I don't take umbrage, but I like it fine. I like that it kind of really fits the movie tonally.

But I'm not going to go to the mattresses with you. I'll go with you on a mattress. I love it. I love it. Okay, so we... James, we open up, we come back, cliffhanger's still going, James Bond's funeral. We're at James Bond's funeral at sea,

naval commander, James Bond murdered. That's the first thing we see is a newspaper. Everyone, presumably in Asia, sees it, which is why I'm very confused as to how no one knows it's James Bond when he shows up at the chemical company. Seems odd. Yeah. So I like this part.

I like this part of the movie. Yeah, this is a very cool plan situation. James Bond's body goes down. out of the sea, then some scuba divers come and take it onto a submarine. It's nice to see M. and Moneypenny out in the field. It's nice to see them in naval uniforms, actually. I actually enjoyed that. Money Penny looks pretty good. You know who does not look good in a naval uniform? James Bond. He looked very chubby in that double-breasted suit.

Yeah. How did you feel about it? I still thought he looked great, but I was... I'm starting to question. I'm like, maybe you guys have higher standards for men than I do. Yep We have very high standards for our men This is why we don't date men Because our standard We're both gay but our standards are so high

That we can't Now, what? Here's something I'd like to say Yeah James Bond Says ma'am We've been taken to task And he pronounces it

Ma'am Okay, just be careful, Matt Because I get the email I don't care You're going to get more email right now Everyone in England listen to me. Oh boy. I'm talking to you, Great Britain.

My favorite country. Yes, I'm including America in that. England, you are my favorite country. He's including America in Great Britain in the United Kingdom. As part of the colonies. Listen, I grew up in a place called New England. Okay, so I know a thing or two about England. He's got the latest version of England.

I have the newest, I have, English. English point one. You guys are still running point O over there. He's England Mavericks. To upgrade. Yes. Yes. So I just want to say, as much as you all think you're saying, ma'am. I'm bailing on this, by the way.

In Skyfall, every one of those actors is saying, mum. I would like to purchase a copy of the script, and I will do this before next week is over, and I will read it. And if it says mum in the script, you all owe me $50. And what if it says ma'am? Which I will take in British Pound Sterling. What if it says, ma'am? Sorry, everybody. Wow, a pretty good deal for you.

That's kind of brilliant. Yeah. I will have to say, my gut is with you, Matt, but I don't profess to know because I don't, I'm not as steeped in the English culture as English people. Because also, we should redact something from last week. Oh, I love redaction. Kiss of Life is an English expression for CPR, and that's what that right. references to and I've been told the here's the problem thank you good fact checking but but 83 emails saying that so no well yeah I'm exaggerating Twitter email some skywriting uh they sent over plays

there there is we're we're not journalists and we're trying our best but at the same time there's a fact police out there that's really given me some hard times fact police be nicer about your facts uh we're just two uh comedians who like James Bond. Yeah, not journalists. We're not journalists. We respect the craft of journalism, and if we were doing journalism, we would do our due diligence. And we're just shooting the phrase.

And with Vanessa here, we're three comedians who kind of have seen James Bond once or twice. Yeah. I know the name. But let's talk about it. I like Submarine Mobile MI6. Yeah. So far I'm in. I like the office.

I like the, that was great opening up on the hat onto the thing. That was a beautiful thing. I enjoyed it a lot. I love I love M He's the best I love him so much Now I've brought this up on

Before but all stories of him Are that between takes You know Whenever they're breaking whatever And there's a piano around He will just go to the piano And entertain everybody He was just a great

Bon vivant Wouldn't you love to be in the room with that Do you think Ray Fines is going to do that I don't think so He might I have a bit of a man crush on Ray Fines That Well I have a bit of a man crush

Anyone who can wear pants that high. And stand in that posture. God damn. You love posture. I do because I think I don't have great posture. Here's the three things Matt looks for in a movie. Poster. Yeah.

Lack of toupees and good ZG. Yeah, that's true. Not lack of two pays, just good twopays. If any of that doesn't happen, he gets angry about it. You know what? I have to say had a really good, really good wig in it. What? Hunger Games.

Whose wig? Woody Harrelson's. Everybody knows that he's bald, but his hair, hangs naturally. It's not stiff. It's like the hanging gardens of Babylon. It's a good wig. It's the true eighth wonder of the world is Woody Harrison's wig from the hunger games.

All right. So here's the deal. He has to go to Japan now because they've tracked the signal to Japan. America looks stupid as per usual. They're going to just go guns of blazing, which honestly I get it. That's what I know. I understand. That's what we're like.

Least favorite line in this movie? It came right here for me. At what scene are we in? We are in when James has gotten his mission and he's headed out the door. He's tossed to instant Japanese. Oh, I took Orientals at first. You forget I took a first in Oriental languages at Oxford. Oh, I hated that.

I hated that. Because I hated too when she's going to throw, throws him the book and it's like instant Chinese, like it's a microwavable dish. Like the hardest language to learn for a Westerner. Like, we got it down to a book. It's this big. Put it in your pocket just in case. It fits in your hat.

What are some of my common phrases, where is the bathroom? Excuse me, sir, are you harboring any nuclear missiles? Space threats. I said, I wrote down, yay, Japan with an exclamation point. I just like Japan, I think. I also, okay, so now we see a bunch of ladies following them around with, I don't know. I'll say microphones the size of the world. ones we're talking into right now in their purses.

Yeah. And James has to go to Buda Khan. I'm assuming it's Buda Khan. Well, this is something Bond movies are famous for. Whatever's popular at a time or in a place, they will put it in. So of course, they're like, Japan, what do you think of? Ninja's and sumo wrestlers.

Do you know what's interesting? I never felt bored watching the sumo wrestling. I never felt bored watching even the wedding ceremony. I I found it all interesting. It loses me a little in the middle of this movie.

Yeah? Yeah. I just found their, I find their culture interesting. Oh, I do too. Japan, you are number two. America, bring it up the rear. Who's number one? England.

Oh. Oh, you know what? Canada. Yeah. We'll slide that in. Japan, you're number three. They're not in England ever in this movie, Are they?

It's only... Correct. Well, Pinewood Studios. Right. Yeah, they never are in England. Have you ever seen the map, the James Bond map? I don't think so. There's a map that, like, has...

It maps out with Indiana Jones-style lines each movie. Oh, that's cool. Oh, my God. Yeah. Because Australia, Canada, and South Africa are the only major countries that Bond hasn't been to. Right. Yeah. So he's at the Sumo match, the code word. His code words are?

I love you. Yeah. I love you. That was my Connery That was very good So then we see the Toyota Are you familiar with the story behind this Toyota? No, are you?

Yes, and I board Vanessa with it And I will now board you with it Wait, can I hear Vanessa's telling of it first Just to see if it She's probably got it. Yeah. She already doesn't ever... Oh, he was too tall.

He was too tall for the car So they had to... They made it a convertible way Which it wasn't. Right. That's right. I did hear that. Yeah.

Good work. Have you ever seen the top gear special on the bond cars. You need to watch it. You need to watch it. All right. Yeah. But like as an Amazon gift with like gift wrapped preferably around Christmas. Done and done. Really? Yeah, but I'll probably get it to you like this week.

Okay, what do you want? Is there something I haven't seen that you need me to see? We'll figure it out. Okay. We'll figure it out. But yeah, that Toyota very rare, that car is very rare. What is it? What model is it? It's a, it's a, it's a a GT. It's a Toyota Toyota Camry

It's a Corolla He's driving to nursing school It's a tundra This is a mid-sized pickup truck It's a 2000 GT Oh We were joking And here's this great thing

That I don't really appreciate Now I've never seen one I have to get all the bond cars You'd get this one You'd have to get it Oh so you're talking just any car featured In the Bond movies or just the ones he The ones he drove or I mean

this one's so iconic I feel like for this movie it's really it's really the one for this movie and that's the one I would get I don't know if I'd buy

the Citrian from uh bye by Katie Katie Money Penny's going to check on the water heater uh the bond model

used in uh you only live twice now this car is very rare and the last one the last one they sold the last one sold on the open market

went for 1.1.1. $1.5 million. Jeez. For a Toyota. You could build a volcano set for cheaper than that at the time. A 67,000 GT. I have been on eBay many times. Really?

I have a save search for this car. I always look for it. There it is with the hardtop version. I think I had the Hot Wheels version of that. You probably did. But this is, it's such a rare car that I don't know if I'll ever own one. I'm just letting everyone know. I think you might.

I mean, I might disappoint the world. Is that the first? car you'd get given that much money or given a deal or would you rather? If I had $1.15 million, no, I'd buy a DBS probably. Oh, that's the... The Casino-Royal Bond car. Sure, why not?

Oh, the new... The newer one, yeah, because that I could probably get for like a buck 25, you know? It's right off these... Seems kind of cheap. Yeah. Buck 25. I mean, I've got that on it. Go get them right now. This...

So this movie, the pacing of this movie, James Bond's given a specific task, which is what I genuinely like about this movie. This is very different from the last few James Bond movies we've watched. And Goldfinger, he's way behind on everything. He's actually, Goldfinger, he's just almost superfluous to the plot. Yeah, he's needed in this movie. He is necessary and doing a good job of this movie.

Die another day, the piece of shit we just sat through. James Bond doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know that the guy, it's a whole mess, and he's gone rogue and bullshit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Skyfall, more the same bullshit. He decides to disappear for a while. This one, though, he's handed a document and told to do something. Matt is shaking. I just need him to do stuff.

I apologize, Vanessa, for this intensity. I'm scared. I like this movie a lot. I really do. Were you always a big fan of this, or did you just like it a lot more on the rewatch? I liked it a lot more on the rewatch. I liked it a lot more on the rewatch. I've always...

I can't say it. I've been more of a fan of it than you have. We've discussed that. But I really came around. Here's my issue with this movie. Not enough tits? No, you just, you're just a lech. You're just a fresh man, and you're just a real problem with society.

Here's my problem. Not enough vagina. No, I'm just kidding. He's not wrong. The good thing about it is it really firmly establishes the James Bond formula, but to the extreme. So it becomes the cartoony villain in the volcano layer, And now every Bond movie follows this. And I even think this movie goes a little too far.

Just where... Are you... You're saying a hollowed-out volcano layer is going a little too far? I am. Also, it's probably an active volcano. It's just not a smart place. Right. It isn't. Obviously, because when he blows the detonation,

the volcano becomes a very active. I gotta be honest. I thought, like, the volcano, when I first saw it, I was like, oh, that's what... Like, I thought streamers were going to come out. It was just, like, pretty... I don't know. It was pretty underwhelming as far as volcanoes go.

Yeah. It's just a little bit much for me because it's what Moonraker does, but at the time, and I always... I've said this before, like, this is the pendulum swing to the extreme side. You only live twice, Moonraker, and die another day when they all go... Oh, they're too far.

Yeah. So you need one with the other, but this one goes a little too far for me. I'm just saying. Well, I think... We can agree. We meet one of the greatest bond allies of all time. Tiger Tanaka. Tiger Tanaka.

She's very sexyful. My friends call me Tiger. Oh, yeah. So are we going to talk about how, like... Oh, let's talk. Is that like a real thing, like a custom? Because I don't know. I was telling Matt, I'm like, did you notice it took like four women to make what they were doing not seem gay?

Like it was just like... And even then. My welcome guess, please, you know, undress and dress. bathe next to me. I'm going to go on a limb and say at some point Matt and I are going to be in that same situation. Yeah. I have been. At some point we have been.

That is, and I think they too, they put them in separate little pools. Did you notice that? But you know that's probably not even how it is. Even that was like, well, judging from most of the Japanese porn I watch. Yeah. It's the same pool. It's not. It's the same pool. They put a little pool divider like

leave room for the Holy Spirit in there. Also, everybody's genitals in Japan? Pixelated. What? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I've never seen a pornography film. Keep telling you something.

Yeah, so I really love Tanaka. And then, Tanaka has his own... Have we talked about Henderson yet? Have we even... We're not at Henderson yet, because we've just met Tanaka. Okay. Tiger Tanaka. Dubbed, heavily dubbed. Yes.

And then you hear one line where he's not dubbed, and he has a totally different voice. when he speaks Japanese, so he goes from... Oh, yeah. Bon's on, Mr. Bonn. It's the weirdest little moment. Tanaka has his own train, which is naturally. Awesome. Yeah, I do love this guy, though.

Also, what's not to love? Oh, come on. There was an entire... Like, you remember those in Donkey Kong, those springs jumping around? That's what just happened to Matt's Starbucks Cup. That analogy I just gave you was more... unwieldy than what just happened with the cup

I dropped the cup but I tried to save it and then I tried to throw it out and be cool and it didn't work out anyway but here's what I like about this this should be eventually someday what I did like about this was that the photos and stuff that he has you know what we did skip

we kind of skipped Henderson I'm already talking about Tanaka I have some things to say about Henderson all right we're going to talk about Henderson right now the first person James Bond goes to meet is Blowfield From diamonds are forever. Yeah, so this guy that he meets with the one leg that gets stabbed to the paper wall later plays the same villain role.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's so strange. I didn't remember the first guy. Henderson, I didn't remember his name, so I just referred to him as the price line negotiator. Because he kind of like gave that vibe. He also had the hair. And he, no one has ever been more English than this man has.

Just that. Everything is very sort of this. He, they put in a little joke there. Did you notice it? The martini joke? Yeah, shaking, that stirred. And he says... Sturred, not shaking, correct?

And Bond kind of looks at him like that, and it's them having a joke at their own expense. God, what good times we're all happening. But here's what I love. I need to know what the other things are he gets from the dormant at the Russian embassy. Because Bond drinks it and goes, oh, Russian vodka. And then he goes, I get it from the dormant of the Russian embassy, among other things. Like, what is he talking? talking about.

Yeah, that's, yeah. Tail. Yeah, right? Russian tail for sure. No, I think he's fucking a doorman. I mean, he could if he wanted to. I don't think they'd hide that. I would just like to speak to the good people of Japan, my third favorite country.

Guys, maybe don't use paper for your walls. Yeah. I feel like you get stabbed through them too easily. Also, when he goes to the, what's the name of the chemical company, Osada, or what? I can't remember. Osaka? No. All right.

Anyway, it's this high security installation. I mean, he has a fight with a guard in there, right? Yeah. But when he leaves that room, that high security room, one of the walls is just still made of paper. Well, if they go in, we'll see that it's ripped. But that's a good fight in there. That fight. That is a really good fight because I'll tell you why.

He uses a couch as a weapon. It feels very found object. Like, what would you do in that circumstance? I also like that he kills. the guy and then shoves him into the wet bar and then is revolted by Siamese vodka. Yeah.

He goes Siamese vodka. I love later when he drinks sake and just what a prick. Sometimes James Bond is a prick. 98.4 degrees. Yeah, old thermometer tongue James Bond that can just tell instantly the temperature. This is a tenth of a degree

less than my internal body temperature. This is how disappointing I am as a human. When he said that, I immediately. It was like, oh, yeah, he's John Taffer now. He knows exactly what fucking... This is like Bar Rescue.

He knows what temperature that should be served at. Yeah, Bond is never at his best when doing... Your keg's not going to yield a full barrel. That line had the tone that some of the emails I get about the word ma'am and mum have. Well, I just threw down the gauntlet. Yeah, I'm in for it.

She is very sexy for it. Also, I would like to say that the shoe sound effect guy on this movie must have gotten paid double time because there's a lot of shoe sounds that whole scene where he's running through it to where he eventually meets Tanaka yeah uh oh that's right it's like because there's not much music no music it's just shoes well it's john barry who's just doing a tap dance show shoes shoes uh there's uh there's a okay so then we're on the train and this train is really like spy central this train's awesome because james is like i found this can you blow it up then they get to sit down and look at it on a screen

and then there's Sony monitors everywhere and then he's like, I need to know the location of this ship for the last blah-bidi-blah, blah, blah, blah. And they don't even have the internet, but they still manage. Yeah. Because the Japanese are industrious people. Yeah. What was that? I don't know what that was. Oh, he says I like the plumbing, which is a

reference to I believe a vagina. Yeah, usually is. Yeah, so Tanaka, this is when Tanaka takes him back for the lady bath. Yeah. How do you feel about that? Well, here you, like, when we've talked to like the Goldfinger episode, when we were dealing with a certain chauvinism of its time. This is not only a chauvinism of its time, but of its place.

Of its culture. But also a sort of racism in how simplistic it's handled in this. film. I don't know. I can't really speak to what bathhouses were like in Japan in the 60s, or can I? That's how I was conceived. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it seems a little simplistic

but also a little fun. You can't take it too seriously. I don't know. I want that poster. The poster of him with all the bath girls around him? The picture. You only live twice poster? Oh, have you seen the little painting I have of that? Oh, that's right. You do have a little painting of that. I'm going to bring it up.

Yeah. Does it say in Japan men come first? Oh, that's right. Why did I not write that down? Everyone's just okay with that? Yeah, of course. I mean, in Japan, it's okay to be an asshole. I have this little joke print of that.

It's on my Instagram somewhere, but it also has like, so it's bond with all these bathing Japanese scantily clad women. And then there's one of those like ice monkeys that you always see in that video where they're chilling in the water. The, so he got, James now, they find out who owns that ship

that the person was killed for that took the picture of. And then they have to, James is like, oh, it's this chemical company. I will go to, I'll go to this chemical company

where I, oh, I happened to kill a guy here last night. Uh, for a meeting. And, uh, this is where he meets the,

uh, guy with the fakes gray hair I've seen in a movie in a very long time. Oh, the really tan guy? This is the older Japanese guy Who's the fake gray hair It looks like gray hair It looks like gray hair Yeah I didn't have a problem with the hair

But he looked a little more tan than everyone else I can't speak to the tan but I can speak to the That's real gray hair Are you sure? I have wigdar Whigdar Yeah Okay

So then I have Dider too Jay's Bond sits down in an x-ray chair Which is something most people in Specter have An x-ray chair Where the x-ray comes up of the Walther PPPK Uh

then they have to escape. This is the little painting. Huh. So James Bond, they find out he's got the gun. They think, oh, shit, maybe it's James Bond. Yeah, I love that he's the only spy to carry a Walter P.B.K. The only one on the planet. Which I disagree with also, again.

But he has to get away, and he gets away, and who comes by again in the same Toyota, in the same place? What's her face? Aki. Aki. Aki comes by, saves him. They have to do the usual... Take you drift.

Not up drifting. The usual protocol, and that protocol is to send a hair helicopter that can pick up a car with a magnet and drop it in the ocean. And that has a video camera. James Bond can watch it. Who's filming the helicopter that he can get this live feed? God. Oh, that makes sense. I feel like they have interns because they're pretty organized over there.

Yeah, they know what they're doing. Yeah, I wrote that down. Where is the camera shot on the helicopter? But that was such a given back then. It wasn't even like they were asking you to, oh, don't worry about it. It was more like people are like, I don't know how cameras work in the 60s. He was probably just watching a VHS copy of You Only Look Boys. Just like baseball.

An old TV broadcast on Kinusk. So then he tells Tanaka through the car to bring Little Nelly. Mm-hmm. And make sure her father comes. Yeah. And guess who her father is? Cute. Yeah.

Major Boothroyd. How'd you feel about Little Nelly? Well, here's my thing. Because, remember, I feel like I enjoyed it, but it was a type of thing of you have to be that handsome to operate that vehicle. Like, you can't be. With that little helmet on the camera. Yeah. You can't be Rick Moranis from Honey I shrunk the kids going like, look what I made.

Well, you can be. No, you can. It's not acceptable. But, like, that was my, I was like, okay. And I was fine with Little Nelly, but it was when he started doing the, like, you know, men made advances at her. That's when I was like, okay, calm down. Here's what I love about Little Nilly. It's so tiny.

Well, a little. But it's also the loudest helicopter I've ever heard in my life. Am I wrong? Is he? Is he wearing Powder Blue in this again? Or is it white? I can't remember. They got this thing with powder blue clothes.

I feel like it's a tan outfit. Yeah. Look that up. Powder Blue Little Nellie. And everybody looked super calm for what the situation was. There was a dude that was dressed like an interpretive dancer with like the all black and sunglasses on. Yeah, all those guys. Every one of them looked like Tom Petty was in Empire Strikes Back.

That's what they all looked like. And they were all just like. And they were all just like. They were all very emma of like, I gotta take this guy out again. Imperial Tom Petty's just chasing him down in their tie fighters. Then he, Jay's Bond proceeds to dump every weapon, Little Nelly has onto these... Irresponsibly.

Yeah. No reason. I feel like he could have taken out everybody, like, with those air mines. Yeah. Like, maybe one of them, instead of dropping 12 of them on the one helicopter. Right. And then launching all six missiles at once. Oh, and did anybody else notice, like, it feels like they went to all this, like, high-tech,

like, Little Nelly. But then, like, the final touch was a label maker. Like, above all the buttons, it was, like, the cheapest. Like, oh, yeah, they sell those at Staples. Yeah. They didn't really spring for it. Like, I get it. You want them to know what's what, but that'll fall off.

It's not form over function. No. Yeah. At all. Although they did give it some pinstripes, I think. This is the point in the movie where we find out what the plan is. The plan is to start a war between Russia and England. And he will be left to rule, essentially.

He says that, yeah. Okay. So now we come into a cliche in action movies and things that reference. it that really is at the pinnacle here, and that is ninja's training. Oh, I love Ninja Camp. Ninja Camp! I wrote down, we see so many ninjas, it ain't even funny. That's what I wrote down, followed by James Goes Native.

Is this the first movie with like a Western ninja? The introduction of Western Ninjas? Or the Ninjas to the Western Society? Yeah, as that cool kind of thing, because I know in the 70s, The first version of killer elite, that movie, the Peck and Paw movie, there's a big ninja fight at the end, which you don't expect in a Sam Peckin'paw movie. But they all just get killed willy-nilly like these guys do in this movie.

And I think it was the 80s before ninjas kind of became mythical, like you couldn't kill a ninja. Yeah. Because they were dying left and right in this thing. They sure were. They came up against another force of ninjas. Yeah, they were like... If you know anything, the only thing I can kill a ninja is a ninja.

Oh. Wait, what other force of ninjas? What's up? What do you mean? Those guards and Blofeld's Slayer weren't I decided they were ninja No, they were factory workers Didn't you see their little costumes?

No, I saw them. I feel like they had ninja training. Really? They were just shooting machine guns. Listen, you don't hire someone to work in a volcano If they don't have ninja training I suppose that's true I also liked that their super sneaky ninja outfit of choice is gray sweats

Yeah, yeah So yeah, so this is the scene where James Bond has to take a wife Wait, where do there are there already. We've skipped over the awesome rooftop one shot helicopter shot. Oh, where we see the most

epic James Bond fight ever? I think that's pretty awesome. That doesn't ever, we don't see the rest of it. Well, it ends in a joke. No, because he gets clubbed. He gets karate chopped over the shoulder and captured. And then this is when we meet Helga Brandt. We're skipping apart.

Oh, yeah, we are skipping. We are skipping this whole part. I have to take my hat off to Lewis Gilbert here who does this. amazing one-take helicopter shot of a huge choreographed roof fight and there's falls off the thing. Bonn goes through all of that only to get hit over the head and still get captured by like one guy or something like that. It's kind of got a little punch to it. But did you notice that one gentleman, one dock worker had on cut off shorts and his shirt was tied up around his chest?

Oh, yeah. No, but you sure did. He had a chop on. I noticed that as well That was interesting That's hilarious That was very interesting And they weren't

There to see that handsome guy He's heard so much about But they were cutoffs Like they were the kind of cutoffs Where you can see the pockets Oh Like that's how short they were I love those

Or actually you get more coverage From the pockets Yeah Yeah it was that short Little loin pockets You meet Helga Brandt soon after Who are they just trying to do You meet her

You meet her earlier in the office Right. But are they trying to do a... It seems like she's a second-rate Fiona Volpe to me from Thunderball. This is similar characters. Oh, why not try to repeat that? Yeah, but it's just a little inferior. And then one thing I noticed, too, is she has a wedding ring on.

I want to know who she's married to... I assume she was married to gray hair. Really? That's what I assume. Yeah, I wonder. I wonder. That's interesting. That's what I assumed. I saw the ring. You got to check for that ring. We're at that age now, Matt.

You've got to be like, oh. Yeah, that's true. That Bond girl is married. Yeah, so she threatens to cut his skin off and then... Yeah, why didn't... Like, a scalpel was her weapon of choice. And the whole thing, too. It's like, it's such a lame weapon that she had to explain what it was.

Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, this may look like a lesser letter opener. But then what happens is she decides to put it in his pocket and fuck them. Right? Right. Yes. Okay. To which I say...

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why is she fucking him? Because there's a James Bond movie and he's irresistible. I'm just so, I guess, just timing-wise, it doesn't make sense for me. It doesn't make sense for me as a logical human being.

Her whole storyline is, defies logic, because if she really wants to kill him, why on earth, put him in a plane, and then put a smoke bomb in the plane, and then try to tie him down with a weird little shelf, table. It has to be the most unsecruited route to kill someone in a James Bond movie ever, is it? Also, I think they should have, like, maybe not used Balsa would as the thing that holds it in. Here's what I got from that is that she knew

she was going to kill him, so she wanted to be his last. Is the only thing that made sense to me just from a... From a latest standpoint. She's the red widow. She's the red widow. You're very proud of yourself right now. I know it. You don't even have to look over here. I'm buttoning my shirt one.

So, yeah, James Bond, I really... He, of course, we've seen James many times have to pilot a plane that's falling. We never even talked about the fact that in Dine other day, he cold starts a helicopter in the air. Yeah, I've always had a problem with Bond just can fly anything and everything. feels too much to me. I didn't like it in quantum solace solace. Solace. Write an email.

You don't even try anymore. Quantumus solace. Write it. Just write an email. Just write it. Yeah, so James Bond lands this plane, playing pretty hard, and then... He lands a plane pretty hard. And then runs. Yeah. And then runs away, and then the plane blows up, as though it was filled with gasoline. Yeah, this is the part of the movie that starts to lose me, it just feels like, okay, just fantastic little thing after another.

Fantastic little thing after another. You're bored by everything. I mean, fantastical. Oh, great. Two teams of ninjas fighting each other in a Volcano. Well, it does lose its heart a little bit. When you go for all flash,

because the mix of this being Connery's last film and he's not that into it, it doesn't hold me that well. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't. I disagree with you entirely. You don't feel like he's a little sleepy and bored in this movie? I think America is a little angry.

Is sleepy and bored by this movie. I don't, I don't know if I see any sort of anger in his... I know I didn't say angry. You know what I see in his performance? I see relief. What? I see relief. Matt.

I think he knows he's on his way out, and I see a little relief in his performance. Something I didn't notice previously. Yeah. I see sort of a, uh, just a man who's ready to walk out the door. Yeah. He's got senioritis throughout this movie. Yeah, exactly. And it doesn't compel me.

I liked it. I want my bond to be emotionally detached, but because he's been burned, not because he's tired. I can't even look at him right now. I can't even look at him. Can you hear my voice change? I can't because I'm turning. I'm going to go. Vanessa just let us work this out.

Yeah, no, I think he... He's holding his mic in a really... Hello? It's a dick. No, but I really liked, I really liked Connery in this movie. I found Connery to look more bored in Thunderball. But I also could have been projecting. No, I think they're about a hand in hand for me.

Well, how bored I was watching Thunderball. He's in a whole different world in Diamonds of Forever, but so is that movie, so it works for me. But this one is still trying to be a legit Bond movie. Diamond Forever. Sorry, man. That's a Kanye West song. They ain't conflict diamonds. Don't lie to me, Jacob.

That's from the remix featuring Jay-Z. Anyway. Do you think he was like, I got to sample that song because I love that song or he's just Googling songs about diamonds? Yeah. I feel like he's a Google guy. I think it's a B.

He's a Google guy. He's a Google guy. No way Kanye's banging it. So, okay. Now we go, now is the a farcical plan in which James Bond must take a bride.

Is Aki dead at this point? Because that's a pretty awesome little thing. Not that she dies, but... Aki doesn't die. Yeah, the poison down the thread. Aki... Oh, Aki dies from the poison down the thread. Yeah. And which is later stolen

for gross point blank. Directly, directly. I homageed. John Cusack doesn't steal. Well, he didn't write it. He produced it. What is with us? today.

I don't know. This is really strange. We're really contentious. This is really, we're in a huge fight. Guys, the podcast is over. We're done.

Yeah. This is the last episode. We had the most mild fight ever. We disagreed on what John Cues I had to do with the script for gross point blank. But join us for our gross point blank podcast. We're starting next week. Okay, so

this whole sequence, yeah. I find, uh, superfluous? Yeah, as someone who's not, a huge bond fan.

Did this seem like, wow, I wouldn't have thought this was in a bond movie. Does it feel a little slow? The whole poison part, or which specifically? The whole, like, hey, you need to take a bride because this village won't accept you unless you take a bride. No, it felt very like, I mean, just from a woman's standpoint, it felt very like, well, here's a montage where we give her a makeover and she goes to

a fancy store. They're like, we'll do this because this is fun and then we'll get back to what's actually happening in the movie. So for you, this is. The poison thing. That was interesting. This is the Devil Worse Prada moment for you. Yeah.

Where Anne Hathaway finally puts her shit together. And Hathaway comes into her own. Yeah. And she's right. You're looking at me like I should, like you have fire in your eyes. You've watched this movie a bunch of times. Which one? Devil Worse Prada.

I've never seen it. Yeah, but the whole like, okay, so we're going to give him. Like, it seemed like the makeover. I don't know. It's weird because it almost is reminiscent too of like that scene from almost famous where they're like, de flower, because it's just a bunch of giggling women. in like putting stuff on his face.

That was not the right comparison, but I also... I liked it, no, it's a bunch of giggling women. So, yeah. They have to shave his chest too. It didn't add anything for me. Well, and plus, he's like a foot taller than everyone else, so it's like... And then he is a crouch.

It's not like they're not going to notice. But again, they didn't notice he was not dead, even though it was in every newspaper everywhere. What I decided was they can't tell English people apart the same way my uncle can't tell him. Asian people. When he's first Japanese and he's walking up to the

wedding or to go fishing and he passes a couple of the Japanese villagers, they're looking at him like, what the fuck is that? Who is the villagers? Who is that monster? Who is that monster? Kaiju! But I think that they were looking at his

send out the Yager. Yager, sorry. I think they were looking at him I think the intention was that they were looking at him as who's the stranger in the village. Who's this new very Japanese fellow?

Who is this? this new gentleman from the mainland. I've never seen anyone more Japanese. Who is he? How doesn't he just like, I just feel like he's never seen a fork. I just, I like what he wants to fuck and then decides he's not going to need the oysters.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so his wife's name is never spoken in the movie, but her name is... Oh, pig face? I know, that's horrible. Her name is Kissy Suzuki.

and originally the actress that played Aki and the actress who played Kissy Suzuki had the opposite parts and the Kissy Suzuki girl the Aki girl could speak English better and so they switched the roles because she had more lines and I think they were going to send

the Kissy Suzuki girl home and she was so dishonored She was threatened to kill herself and they kept her on Yeah Well I mean they And then they wrote in the pig face line just to make her feel better about her. What I love about that is that, like, from everything I'm picking up from you guys,

it's like, yeah, Connery didn't want to fucking be there. He was over it, and she's like, I'm going to kill myself. Yeah, yeah. She wanted so desperately to be in the film. Yeah. Also, I don't understand whether, like, all right. Her, the role of the wife, like. Kissy.

Kissy. Suzuki. Yeah. I am confused as to why she's not into just, like, fucking getting down. Because I think because in this view of the world, she's an honorable Japanese. Yeah, but now she's married and she can do it. She can make shit happen. Yeah, but she's only married for country.

She's not married for honor, right? What better reason is there to get married? For my third favorite country. I don't know. I think, if I'm not mistaken, Kissy Suzuki is from the novel. otherwise the novel is completely different. This is the novel where he kills Blofeld. Blofeld has a castle in Japan full of

a garden full of poisonous plants where he kills people in this garden. And he's there with Irma Bunn is the one from Honor Majesty's Secret Service. And so Bond goes and kills both of them as revenge for his wife. His wife is killed by Blofeld. In the next movie, James Bond gets married again.

again he just got married in this one yeah but not a real marriage that's a real marriage it's not because in the eyes of the Lord Japan they're married

they say something about it don't they I can't remember but also he ends up with amnesia at the end of the novel and I can't remember if it's kissy or whatever but she basically lies to him

and tries to keep him there as her husband and I want to say like she's a child I feel like there's a this is the The Star Trek episode. This is the Star Trek episode.

It's the last, I should know better. I apologize to you and yours this holiday season. This is coming out on Christmas, right? Yeah, we're dropping it December 25th. All right. Hope that's a Tuesday. I just throw out a bunch of spurious information. Well, here's, okay.

So here's what happens. Don't email. James is like, well, this bitch ain't going to fuck me, so I'm going to go find my other bitch. Huckie. Which he does. Yeah. And he does it. He makes it happen.

But then she does. And so not only does he bed her, but he rolls over at the split second, or she does. He rolls over. Like, he's such a good spy. He has a sleep instinct to avoid poison thread. Well, and he was twitching a bit. Like, I don't know. As someone who's never seen it, like, oh, I thought he was going to wake up.

But then it's like, oh, of course. And then I did see that coming, but it seemed even when she rolled over, it was kind of like she's rolling over and stretching out her neck. Yeah, yeah, yes. And it wasn't anything super natural about that. You don't like your bond to. To dodge death by chance. You want him to do it by skill. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't want him to be a restless sleeper. Was the dude up top a ninja? Because I'm like to go through all that ninja training to like pour some liquid on a string. He could drop a grenade down. He could have shot a blow dart. There's any number of things he could have done that would have been easier than this. He could have dropped a blow dart.

That's not the way to get badges at ninja camp. He could have dropped the drop dart. Yeah. Also, he comes into a village of ninjas, sneaks through, and then is immediately shot and killed by James Bond. Mates with their women. Yeah. James Bond is so good at everything. Yeah.

Now, let's talk about dive team. Dive team. All the wonderful Asian, the Japanese ladies that are good divers. Oh, right. Who, now James, at this point, James Tanaka comes in, sees that, uh, the, you know, the, uh, the, they're all dead, has a good time with that, then they decide to go to the volcano. Yeah.

Right? Bond and Kissy. Bond and Kissy go to the volcano. I feel like Bond and Kissy probably, fuck, even though they're on the submarine at the end. Yeah. I feel like they just go for it. But, by the way, how many James Bond movies end with him in a raft?

We talked about this before, and I don't think we named this one. We never even, yeah, this never occurred to us. Well, the Dr. Huard is rolling in for the Dr. Whoard. That's what happens here at Nerd Melt. Come on by. Free Starbucks orange Valencia refreshers for the first me. For the first Matt Gourley that walks in the door.

So she's a great diver. They go to the volcano. He throws a rock. And it's the loudest thing on the planet Earth. He throws a rock onto the water. And the water sounds like the world's largest gong. essentially it essentially is

next to it would be one of those telescopes yeah so at this point I don't know why they don't have a pocketbook radio

with them or something like that where they could be radioed where Tanaka's people could be radioed they were kind of out there a spur of the moment

right? Spontaneous yeah I thought they were the man brought his fucking suction cup knees yeah but I thought it was like kind of like because weren't they talking

about like having a honey moon or something. So I thought they were out there kind of like taking the wife out and then it's like, oh, we happen to be vacationing-ish

next to a giant fake volcano. So he just thinks to wear his ninja suit under everything at all times. They're honeymooning. Their honeymoon. Yeah. When you faked her own death,

there's nothing that you don't do. Why don't I honeymoan in a ninja suit under my clothes? Just wait. I cannot wait for the pictures from your honeymoon. So he goes into the Volcanoes sends Kissy back to get Tiger and the Ninjas.

Yeah, Tiger and the Nidges. But then here's what happens. He suction cups his way down, like a bad Spider-Man. Or a good Spider-Man, he made it. I don't know. Spider-Ren would have been quicker. But my favorite thing happens in this entire movie is all the cosmonauts and the astronaut just shooting the shit. They're just shooting the shit, talking about how long they're training it.

sleeping bags. Yeah. Yeah. So how long's your training? How many times you've been captured in a fake volcano before? This is my third. But I love it. I never have, rookie.

But that's like, but I really do genuinely enjoy how quickly the astronauts are ready to fucking throw down, because that's what the astronauts are like. It's the same as spy who love me and Moonwaker. They go rescue whatever army has been caught and get them to fight and use them. But they are just like, they're gung-ho. And that's, I've met some astronauts in my day. Oh, yeah. And they are all old bad.

I believe it. I actually, Gene Cernan, who was on Apollo 17, which was the last one to land on the moon, I was watching him in a documentary where he got super bummed out about not getting to go to Korea. Not getting to go to NAM. He felt very guilty about being in the astronaut corps and going to the moon instead of going to NAM because that was his war. Jeez. So that's the kind of people we're dealing with. Wow.

So. Buzz Aldrin flew over Korea. He was in the Korean War. Anyway, sorry, I got my astronauts confused. I want to talk about Blofeld's henchman. Yeah. Hans, who is more than anything a repeated type in a Bond movie. I have it written down here.

So the prototype is Red Grant from Russia with Love, right? Yeah. And you've got Hans from You Only Live Twice. And we're talking about these Aryan Superman six-foot-six blonde guys, right? Yeah, we're talking about big, muscular blonde henchmen. Dumb guys that don't talk much. When I saw, like, when I saw him punch him, I was like, oh yeah, he's not going to feel anything.

Like, that's just kind of the thing that's been set up when a dude's that big. Yeah, yeah. All right, this is the time. Yeah, also, uh, and Matt carries on right through to 2013 with Fast and Furious. Jeez. So you've got Red Grant and from Rush with Love.

Hans, and you only live twice. Who's the four-year-eyes-only guy that's the Olympic shooter? I can't remember his name. Oh, the guy that he kicks over the fucking cliff and his Mercedes? No, not. That's the Warren's Yvon looking guy. Okay. The guy that picks up the motorcycle and throws it at him on the snow.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got that guy. Then Tomorrow Never Dies. You've got that blonde henchman. Yeah. And that's five. That's five of those guys. You guys, I'm keeping tabs doing the Lord's work.

If you can think of a blonde henchman, email us at James Bonding Podcast, something I forget. What are email addresses? I also read, and I don't know if this is true, maybe if some of you are watching it, and haven't watched it yet. Apparently, Blofeld never blinks in this movie, but they also say that about Hannibal Lecter, and that's not true, so it may just be an urban myth about every villain.

But check it out, and that one you can email. Donald's one of you. So everyone get together, figure out who it's going to be, nominate your emailer. This is not to say I don't appreciate emails. I just don't appreciate emails. No, I do. We love emails.

We just don't like being told we're wrong. I don't mind the wrong. As many times as we are. It's just the choice of what to correct sometimes is more about the writer than it is the reader. I love you all, though. I do. I just been going through some things impregnant. All right.

Okay, so the astronauts team up. Donald Pleasance, we finally see Donald Pleasins. We also didn't discuss the... The first time they have a member of Spector killed who is appropriately the member who actually fucked up getting killed. Because Redhead dies before. Yeah, by Piranha. Yeah.

And he also does that too. Parada Bridge. Or he does another fake out later with Bonn. This is a big thing with Blofeldt. He loves to do a little twist kill. That's his thing. Yeah. He loves the thing.

Do you think if he has kids and he's like, somebody deserves a delicious breakfast this morning? Timmy. Timmy, you did such a good job on your test. He's just all about the surprise. Jimmy, here you go. You only eat twice, Mr. Bond. You only eat twice, no breakfast.

I love, I love Donald Pleasant says, as Bluffelt. Maybe more than Telly Savalas. Well, Telly Savalas is like a brute. Yeah. Which I like, too, but I feel like in my supervillain, I want kind of more of a brainiac than a... You want an effeminate brain. Yeah.

I don't know, but there's something about... Have you ever... watched all of the Halloween movies? Are you just going to tell me about how much you love Dr. Loomis? I do, but the progression of what he starts with in the first movie, to blathering idiot in the last,

the number, I think it's number six that he's in. He's even got a beard by then, and he's just nuts. Well, you know what he's been through. You saw the rest of the movie. I don't blame him. I've been through that, too. I've been horribly scarred by that movie. But I just love him as an actor, and I think if you're going to go

cartoonie with a supervillain, he does it. well. But this, he was the second choice. They already had another guy. They shot a week's worth of footage and he had a beard and they eventually looked at the footage. Oh, yeah. He looked too much like a, like kind of like an avuncular Santa Claus and he was too sweet so they had to fire him. Yeah. And then I put Donald Pleasanton. Which I think was a good move. Yeah. And I mean, that Donald Pleasance is the template for Dr. Evil. That's right. I mean, right down to the hollowed out volcano layer and the cat. Yeah. So seeing this, how much of that that was like, this is ridiculous because it's been lampooned so much that.

A lot of it. Well, no, especially when... This is the movie that that Austin Power stole from the most. Oh, no. Yeah, there was a ton of things because, you know, in Austin Powers, it's the sharks with the laser beams in place of the piranha thing. Even then, the Dr. Evil character kind of teases with the piranhas a little bit. Like in the way, he's like, nope, no, yeah.

So there was definitely... It was almost a thing of like, someone made fun. wanted this better already. Nice try, real movie. Yeah, yeah. I know, yeah, it really is. I don't even get that joke. They're playing this too seriously. Yeah.

It's, I mean, it's fascinating too. And the thing that blows, I think, will blow people's minds if they haven't seen it. I don't imagine anyone listening to this hasn't seen on Her Majesty Secret Service. But the fact that that fucking Austin Power suit

is essentially worn by James Bond and the, you know, minus the Kilt situation. But that fucking fluffy blue velvet thing. You're talking about on her magic service service.

For those who haven't seen it, when they watch it, they'll just be like, oh my God, Austin Powers' outfit was actually worn by James Bond. Matt, I have to tell you something. I have to confess something, and I'll fill you in on this. The two of us were big Bond fans, but I have never bought a watch or a bond thing

like that, but Matt does, he collects a lot of those things. And so I'm going, I mentioned to Scotland for New Year's. Yeah. And I'm going to a formal black tie celebration. It's absolutely appropriate to wear a kilt. I know. Well, you know where I'm heading with this.

I hope you're not. What are you doing? Well, listen. So my name is Scotch Irish, goarly. Yeah. But it's not associated with the tartan. So I was looking, researching going, what kind of kilt do I need to get? And I'm renting all the, like, the sporen and the socks and all that stuff.

Yeah. And so there's really no good tartan associated with my name. So I'm like, well, I'm free to get whatever I want to get. And so I started looking up on our wrist. You're going to buy the bond kilt? I haven't decided. It's really traditional, though. Let me tell you this right now.

Brooks Brothers, their whole winter, this is going to bore the shit out of everyone listening, including our lovely guest, Vanessa. We're talking skirts and fashion. Brooks Brothers' entire winter line is Scotland inspired. What? Yeah, and they have a master kilt maker. Can we do... Excuse me. They have a master kilt maker.

What? That's going to be in some of the stores taking orders for kiltz. When? I'll have to double check my mail. Can we do a mobile recording episode where you and I go get kiltz made? Sure. Or who cares if we don't record? I was very, this morning at the gym?

Yeah? I was very excited because I looked when I was being stretched. I could see I have ankles now. Oh, good for you. I never had ankles. Will you check when that is pronto? Because I have to look into this scene. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Text me and remind me tonight. I'll text you right now. Because I have, well, no, remind me later. Hey, could you, could you get into that? Remind me later because I'll pull out because I have the book. I'll see if at work. I'll remind him there. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay. I'm actually, I'll be your Brook Brothers today. I'll double check there. Really? Yeah. Which Brooks Brothers? Century City.

Hmm. What are you going over there for? I need some shirts. Getting a kilt made. I don't have too many. All my shirts are too big now. All right. When are you going to get some smaller?

When are you going to do next? I don't know. Later in the afternoon. All right. Okay. but I think the kilt guy is going to be at the Beverly Hills. Let's find out when that is. Yeah.

And go. I'm going to get the information for you and then we'll go. And we'll pick out of Tarton. Really get in there. That's also going to be just below freezing in Scotland on New Year's and you're wearing a kilt. Why are you going to Scotland? I'm with a few friends. It's beautiful.

And then Amanda and I are going to... Is Paul dragging you? No. Amanda and I are going to Ireland after New Year's. Are you going to Dublin? We are. Yeah. My family is originally from Ireland, and we have an old family farm that's falling apart.

Here's what I'm telling you right now. When are you going to be in Ireland? When are you going to be in Ireland? The second to the sixth, I think, of January. And when will you be in Dublin? Most of that time. Okay. I might fly out and meet you.

Okay. Just for like a night or two. We bring Kiki? We'll see. All right. We'll see. I don't know what her New Year's plan is because I've been desperately trying to get to Dublin. Like, I've been like, let's go to Dublin.

She doesn't want to go to double Why not? I don't know. Kiki, if you're not listening to this and I know you're not. I have no message because what's the point? I'm kind of bummed

because I feel like I was going to have you guys on my New Year's travel plan podcast and now we've already burned through all of them too. First of all, I think everyone is excited to hear

about our New Year's travel plan. Sure. All right. You know, next January, maybe next January will be a vacation. vacationing at Golden Eye. In Jamaica.

In Jamaica, which is where the books are written. Anyway, but yeah, because there's this, oh, and I recommend you watch this before you go to Dublin.

This is mad and I connecting as human beings outside of James Bond. On Netflix, there is a Frank McCourt tour of the... Am I going to cry? No,

it's Frank McCourt touring the pubs of Ireland, of Dublin, specifically Dublin. Watch that, and then you'll want to go to every pub he's in. I've been to Dublin

for one day because when I went to Ireland before with my father and my grandfather, we went to the north to look for family stuff. One day in Dublin, good Friday, every bar close couldn't get a drop against. Yep. Yep, you're going to change that, buddy. And I might change that with you.

All right. Sorry, we've tangited Vanessa. I apologize. Vanessa, come to Dublin with us. Come on. It's going to be so much fun. Back to James Bond. So, shit goes down.

He realizes no astronaut would get in with their air conditioning. goes, shit goes down. We always take a break. That's how he knows. No astronaut, no self-respecting astronaut would dare want to keep his air conditioning going. Who is that astronaut? You only live twice, Mr. Byrd? Why is that astronaut 75 feet taller than all the other astronauts?

He brings him down. Why are that astronaut socks showing? Wait, so I had actually, because I didn't understand it, so I looked it up, so they figured out that he wasn't. as an astronaut because he was carrying his air conditioning unit. Okay. Just wanted to double check that. Why did you look that up and just not ask me? No, because I didn't think of it until later.

I was like, wait, how did they? I don't know. I was tired. Yeah, we all were. You did do your research, so that's nice. That's really impressive. There was uncertain things that I didn't. I was like, I didn't understand this. Why was that? That's what we're here for.

We're here to explain the movie to the world. Yeah, so James, you know, he thinks no way out of this. He's brought down. He meets Blofeld for the first time, right? Yeah, the first time face to face. And pretty good. The cat, he then uses his cigarette gadget, which I like the reincorporation. This is the first time.

Yeah, it's probably a little reverse engineered in the writing, but it's pretty cool. It's a nice little thing to get the party. Yeah, I also think it's weird that he chose that guy. Yeah. I know. To shoot. Why not Blowfeld is exactly right. Why not Blowfeld?

or giant German man. Had Blofeld left at that point? I don't... I think he was still there because it was a whole thing. No, because I even turned to Vanessa and I said, why that guy? Well, also, when you see that guy

in the one shot of just him, you immediately just, you know what's going to happen and you feel sorry for him because he could just be a jobber. Yeah. He's probably not a true believer. I don't know. It's felt bad for him.

The fishing has dried up. I will get this new job in this volcano. No, no, no. I'm going to create a diversion instead of just handling this. right now. I know for many movies to come. So much trouble could be avoided. That guy really is like,

I met this nice bald man. He seems to be good. He tells me this is for good of all mankind. I'll just wear this orange jumpsuit and do this job. And go home to my wife whom I just married and my two kids. I'm so happy. I don't know why I'm German. We have consummated the wedding.

Is there a thing, too? Is it like a sort of like, okay, like karate belts? If we're going to start you off as a yellow guy? And then, you know, you do a year. You can get... I only have two more weeks before I make a yellow jumpsuit. Yeah, a red jumpsuit and then like the white... I don't understand.

And then also I was asking about their HR department, but that was a whole other conversation. Listen, you were late this morning for the third time this week. I have a... I just told you I got a wife. I understand. But you see, everyone in a red jumpsuit is here at 8 a.m. I get it.

You were here at 807. I sigh. We are very efficient. Who are you again? I am human resources. I mean, have you tried parking at this volcano? Why are you parking? They will see the cars.

I had to park in the lesser volcano, one island over, and then take a little junk. Then you should have been earlier. Okay. You should have made enough time. Well, can I get off with a warning? I have given you three written warnings. Oh, geez. Well, I'm going to go commits...

No what? No. Just walk across this bridge. Oh, wait a minute. I've been in here. Can I have a cigarette before I do that? Of course. I see no problem with that. All right. Let me just find a guy below me that...

There's like seven jokes about how bad smoking is for you. Like, I feel like they were just discovering this. The nicotine won't kill you, Mr. Bond. But my dick would... When the explosions start to go off, the cat is freaked. Blofeld is pinning him down by his neck. skull and the look on the cat's face is like it's torture yeah have you guys noticed that oh this is a request for the more internet savvy listeners we have someone all of them someone please out there

make a gif of the japanese guys in the car when it gets picked up by the helicopter because when they are panicking oh that's so funny if that was rolling on repeat i would just laugh and laugh all day long so the cat freaks out and actually jumps up in the rattle of the set and then they stole some shots of it up there. The shot you see of the cat in the rafters is it really freaking out because of the explosions. That's adorable. Yeah. I love cats that get scared of explosions.

Oh. All other cats suck. So the rocket launches. The rocket launches. The plan is underway. Oh, it's going to happen. There's nothing Bonn can do to stop it. The code word is eminent.

Yeah. The code word is eminent. America is going to attack Russia. The ninjas arrived, but they're being shot by not. not machine guns in place within the mountains, but just machine guns resting on rocks. And mortars, not unmanned mortars. What does he call them?

Turn on the volcano guns? Maybe. Something I don't think it was very clever. Yeah. Turn on the volcano guns. Yeah, then they're all getting mowed down. Kissy didn't decided not to change. That bothered me a lot as a lady, because it's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go back and put something over my bathing suit but not change anything else and still wear these, like, shoes, even though I know I'm, like, scaling into a volcano and running on rock guns.

Yeah. Yeah. No desire to put pants on. Yeah. Yeah. I really enjoyed her. That's very attracted to her in a weird sort of. The way a man is attracted to a beautiful woman.

No, but, like, I just sort of enjoyed that she just, like, didn't bother. Just like, you know what? I don't have time. I don't have time. I have to save him. She wanted to save him. Yeah, that's true. She also wanted to save him.

She was adorable. She also dressed in the, at the dock scene, a key, I think it's a key in the, in the dox scene. Yeah, a key is the dock scene, right? The dock scene where the helicopter watch out happens. She is dressed exactly like a silver like hipster. Oh. She's wearing skin-tight jeans. She's wearing like vans and a sweater and has perfect bang.

The bangs is what really seals the deal with you. Like, yeah, it was pretty good. If I don't see a picture of her on Reddit slash R-hispter, I'm going to be very upset. Oh, I'm sure you will. There's a lot of things you can say on this podcast that are like, bring me the head of Thomas Beckett. They get done. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And I hope that I see a gif. And a lovely picture of... I hope the severed head of Thomas Beckett. I didn't ask for the... Oh, I did. I did. Yeah, so essentially what happened then? I was an all-law firefighter.

I mixed my references. Will no one rid me of this Thomas Beckett and bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia, which brings us back to Sam Beck and Pond. I went to a rain man place right now. I'm sorry. Sorry. Kmart underwear.

I'm back. Okay. Okay. So now, explosions are going off, essentially just a massive gunfight that's happening. James Bond has to get to that blast room.

Same as Spy Who Love Me. He sees that there's a back door. Yeah. So, of course, James is going to go in the back door. Because that's what James Bond does, I think. Do you think he's into that? Yeah, the Craig one is. Yeah.

The Craig one is into oral sex and anything. The other ones are just mafia-style. I don't do that. Yeah, yeah. You're exactly right. I don't know, maybe Dalton. Okay. Dalton's a freak.

Dalton's a freak. So then he goes in there, then he's a big showdown with the German guy. He punches the German guy, the German guy doesn't move. It's just like every classic giant guy in a movie. Every time anybody punches Superman. Yeah.

Same exact thing. So then saves the day. He tries to save the day with the 007 seconds left. You see a look on his face when he misses the cough? Like, ah, we did it and go. finger we can't do it now but like he's he goes many times it I didn't notice that

yeah he gets bombed that he missed his 007-ish did I tell you that I teach and I have a break between my classes and one of my classes is in a big lecture hall and so for this movie I brought the DVD oh I saw your Instagram yeah and I just put it in and had a whole movie theater

to myself to finish it off and I think I'm gonna do that every week now well good for you yeah I'll see you over there yeah I won't too busy no I understand I want to go, though. We should. We should rent that movie theaters and just do this. We should just do, yeah. We could do commentaries first and then the podcast later.

Anyway, let's move. Let's wrap through this. All right. Nope, I can't. I don't have anything. I'm not Wayne Brady. Well, there's a villain who's waiting for his plan to meld. His name is Ernstavro, blow felt.

That didn't make any sense. is planned to melt? I apologize to you and yours this Christmas. Why are we doing so much for Christmas? It's already been a rough Christmas. It's two apologies. Soon it will be Christmas day. Honor Majesty's Secret Service coming up is a Christmas movie.

Holy shit. Maybe that's why it's on the brain. Okay, we can do this home stretch. stretch. James Bond stops it with five seconds left to go. America gets really excited. They don't have to launch on Russia. Let's talk of physics really quickly. He blows up the rocket. Would that not propel the other capsule way out of orbit? Would there be any kind of equal and opposite reaction? First of all, the debris itself would tear through that cap. So dead. Yeah. Those guys did. All right, covered that. It wouldn't work. I don't know if it would propel it or not, But there wouldn't be an explosion per se because there would be no fire.

It can happen quickly and immediately. Go out. Yeah. Yeah. But it wouldn't have looked like that. Good. Otherwise, the science of this movie is sound. Everything else.

100% accurate. Okay. Including the cigarette that kills everybody. All right. And the rocket gun. You know what? The rocket bullet? I should have just emailed that to myself because that was real nitpicky.

The rocket bullets were real. Those guns were real. And they would test them out. They had planned on new. but they couldn't get enough velocity up close because you could put like a sheet or a piece of cardboard up to the barrel and it wouldn't even puncture through. But the more distance it could fly,

the more velocity it would get. How about that? I love that. Touching you. I love that. I love that. Touching you. Yeah, so they all have to escape.

Somebody comes by, drops off a bunch of rafts. I think Daniel Craig drives by from Kondo Salles, drops off rafts for Sean Connery. Sure, sure. And we're left with the... It's an abrupt ending. I mean, this one... Yeah, happens real quick.

Yeah. Which is why we're doing the podcast, just like it. Yeah, I guess we're done. Okay, no, so I want to... Yeah, I have questions. Good. So, you know, at the end where it's like... Floor recognizes Vanessa Ramos.

You know how it's... I don't want to say the name wrong. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about at the end. Sugar tits? No, no, no. At the end, when they're like, you know, go up and tell Mr. Bond to report. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's an M. That's M who says. does that to Moneypenny. Yes. So when she, you know, she's like, oh, it'd be my pleasure, something like that. Yeah. Um, is it very, like, what's going on with those two?

With MoneyPenny and Bond? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I feel like earlier on, there's also some sort of thing where she was like, you know, did you enjoy or? Yeah. Yeah. Um, so is it?

There's a, there's a sexual tension. Only from Money Penny. Okay. That's how I feel it is. Well, he's kind of, I feel like in the Connery era of James Bond, I feel like Moneypenny wants to fuck the shit out of Jimmy, and Jimmy don't give a fuck. I think he likes her.

See, because it struck me as a very, like, okay, so in later films, does he just, like, have a press conference and she's standing near him looking upset? Because it just kind of had that dynamic. They never, they never consummate the relationship. The relationship I get from them is Bond would, but he likes her and respects her too much,

and she would, but she knows he'd never be with her, so they never do. It's just a flirtatious, playful thing throughout the movies. It's like Sam and Diane. Yeah, without the, like, acrimony. Frazier. That's any other questions?

I think that was the only other one. Like, this has been very educational. Oh, we try to really reach out and get to the bottom of it. Yeah. I feel bad that I didn't know more coming in. Don't feel bad. Don't worry about it. You watch the movie and reacted as such.

That's what we want here. So we want here at James Bonding with Matt and Matt. Vanessa, you were a fantastic guest. We were glad to have you. Thanks for being on. That's fun. Do we got to cover any news? Any issues?

Any Bond news? Let's talk about Tesla. What? Let's talk about Elon Musk. Has purchased the Lotus from the Spy Who Loved Me. And he is going, his plan is to make it into a functional lotus and submarine. Some people have emailed saying, please bring back the segment. what could the villain have done better? This one I think it's pretty easily.

Oh, yeah. Kill Bond immediately. Don't do your whole tricky killing. Yeah. Just point the gun at the guy you had pointed out. Ample opportunities to kill this guy. It does seem like there's several times where it's just like, you know what, I'm going to give this one the personal touch. Yeah.

And like that's where it goes wrong. Yeah. Absolutely. He is remarkably successful at capturing two rockets, which it's not even easy to put a rocket into space. Yeah. And he captures two capsules. Landing it and then relaunching it. Yeah.

Landing rocket upside down. Yeah. I mean, not upside down, but... But, like, just landing it right side up. Yeah, that's amazing. And just sort of like, old thrusters. Little thrusters are going to land this thing. That set, we do have to...

That is enormous. It cost as much as the first Bond movie cost. It's amazing. I said that. Ken Adam. I'm telling you. Ken Adam and John Barry. Without those two guys, you don't got Bond films.

The depth of that set, the size of that set, amazing. Absolutely amazing Reminds me of the rooftop set of ghostbusters That was big Next up is The world is not enough We don't have guests Sign up Greg

The world is not enough Surrull for bells Greg Proops will be here for the man with the golden gun Soon it will be Man with the Golden Gun We don't have guests for... I mean, we'll just, we'll figure it out.

Yeah. It's not like we're struggling. No, we've been having a good time. We're doing great. Yeah. Our only struggles with our schedule, right? That's our struggle. We're both busy guys.

But you know what we're doing? We're making it work. We're making it happen. Yeah, we're getting out there and we're getting it done. Like, I could be, I could be somewhere right now. I am somewhere here. With you. I mean, your heads, people.

In your earbuds. Your Dr. Dre beats. You're very tympanum. What? All right. I liked it. I'm in stereo. To the right,

this is a mono, isn't it? I assume that she mixes it mono. Yeah. Yeah. Katie, how about just a special segment where I'm on the right, then the left?

No. And then something for the Dalby 5.1 listeners. The Dalby's. One, two, three, four, five. Point one. Could you just put those in the five areas of the spectrum? No. There's no way that could.

Point one would be. Point one. Point one is the subwoofer. Yeah. Okay. Just so you know. Point one. You want to go low at the point one.

Point two is front right. Right. Point four, rear right. Point five, rear left. Point one is a little center dialogue thing that's on top of your TV that you can never hear because there's too many explosions. Okay. First of all, your setup is fucked up because 70% of the sound comes from the center channel. It sounded like a disabled.

McDonald's something. I'm loving it. That just sounded like Bender. Oh, well, I've hit my saturation point. All right, well, guys, you only live twice, and beauty is, you only have to watch it once. Connery, the initial run of Connery is done.

We get them one more, we get them two more times, really. Yeah, we're going to have, we're going to have, we're going to have Pierce Broson next week, week after that, George Laysenberg. Where our scheduled guest is Paul Shear for that. We should set that up. He's a big fan of Honor and Her Majesty's Secret Service. I am as well.

It's a great movie. I would love to have seen Connery in it. That's never happened to the other fella. James Bonding will return. In the world is not enough. Follow Vanessa at the Ramos girl, right? Yeah. Yep.

Follow Mac Gourley at the Gourley, man. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're interested, you know what? Go back and Google Goorly Ranks the Bonds and that whole series of articles there, and you can get a head start on my dinner with Robert Davy that will come out in the license to kill episode.

Anyway, I am taking my own life today. No, no, no, we'll just switch your part. You'll be the other girl. Let's get you fitted for that kilt first. Oh, yeah. Thanks, everybody. Why are we afraid to say goodbye? I don't know.

I just feel like we don't want it to be over. Yeah, it's too much fun. Katie just got back. Let's just do it again. You only live twice. You only live twice. All right, we'll let you guys go. We appreciate you.

Most of you have turned it off. I'm really sorry. I am apologizing, first one. Most of you actually just giving up podcasts in general. Yeah, you know what? Good. Get some other stuff done. Talk to you next week.

Bye, lover. Bye. Now Leavingnerdist.com Hey, this is Arnie Necamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food. And I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the dark lord.

If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Fake Nats. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men, corpses, and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species.

It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circle did he cross out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus, I mean, Jazzos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning.

Season 3 of A Loaf from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.