JAR Media Posdact - ¡ 1 0 Y E A R S !

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 12:02 Housekeeping 24:12 Something is happening to r/FNAF 29:21 10 Years of JAR! 49:04 Mid Break 49:59 The Strange JARling Quandry 56:10 I dont know how to describe this one 58:56 True NPC's 1:16:40 Why did you change sets? 1:19:05 Sussex Poem 1:20:18 Anti-Hype Moments #BroCastS7E1

A fresh pair of cherry rye. What the fuck is Cherry Rye? My collar's blue. My collar's blue My neck is red. I've been working like a dog just to give my family friend.

I need you to lay down a beat. With this here, Froggy. Oh, shoot. Froggy style. That was fun. fucking beautiful. That was a beautiful little moment.

That was the highlight of my life. That was the best thing that's ever happened to me. This frog is the best goddamn thing that's ever happened to me. I heard that right in my fucking inner ear. Can he beat that? Man, this fucking mic stinks. I'm going to add reverb to that. I did it to the beat.

We got the bongas out now. It's a big day today, brother. It's the biggest day of my goddamn life. I've been driving trucks 40 goddamn years. I've been driving trucks 40 goddamn years. The gas station food, going to be the end of me. These gas stations are, fucking whores

We're going to suck the goddamn laugh out of me. But god damn they beautiful. They drain my balls. They drain my fucking wallet. Can't afford this in this economy. God bless America. God bless

oil. God bless our president. May he reduce the tariff on whores. Yeah, the tariffson whore is going too far this time You lost my vote Or did he gain

What's lost more is gained The more you think about it I was reading about a fella His name Neitchie He goes by the name of Pessor Day He goes by the name of Sir William Shakespeare Who?

To be Or to be he said To be my favorite character from near automata Fuck Good afternoon morning evening on nights Oh Lady and gentlemen I know we normally just sit here recording our riffs

Yeah But we got a goddamn job to do boy I've been working my whole goddamn life Give me a fucking break I drive my truck All day And I shoved his mic

On my face Like I shoved my membrane I killed a fella Just to see how I'll feel I'm Alex joined by Jim That was really fucking loud Jesus For you

Luckily I edit this shites For you For you For who? are you man it's too easy to do that accent is too easy it's too fun as well it's too yeah like the more exaggerate we should just move to a place where people's moving i've really thought about that like how well the fucking day what would trip me up is like knowing the like area yeah like being able to reference things that like yeah yeah yeah yeah area would know

oh i've been in my uh i've been in my my in my uh i've been frozen and ass for a while i don't know what's been going on. I've been in my bunker for since I can't remember, really. I guess he could just be like praise the Lord. Praise the goddamn fucking Lord. I don't know how to answer that question, but praise the Lord.

God bless America. I don't have an answer for you, but I love God. And I love this country. Yeah. And I love drinking and driving.

I love she prostitutes. Yeah, um, hi. Hey guys, we're British, huh? Whoa. What's up guys? We're so old that like, it's gone from it being an advantage to be British online, to it being a disadvantage. Was it an advantage?

Yeah. Now it's a disadvantage? This guy's like smart and stuff. This guy, he's like a nasty colonizer. and stuff. Oh. Yeah, I guess. Fast full of 10 years.

Yeah. I personally colonized. Well, you don't want to know where I colonized. Where did you call it? Small little place known as New Zealand. Oh my God. Yep. I'm tired of New Zealand.

I want to check out old Zealand. Right. Where the fuck is Zeeland? Zeal. The Zeal Seals. That's some Lovecraft shit. Find the seal of Old Zeal. Find the seal of Old Zeeland.

Yeah. Search your dreamscape for the seal of Old Zeeland. Shut up, you racist cunt. You know what? That fellow Lovecraft, he weren't so bad. I love the name of his dog. Yeah. I thought the subtext

in Carl of Coutulu was mighty fine, I gotta say, I gotta say. Um, I guess this is broadcast season seven. Episode one. Yeah. Episode one for the books, baby. What happens when you add a zero to a one?

You get a hundred. No, if you add zero, then nothing happens, does it? Okay. Hmm. Funny that. Funny that you won't answer my simple quandary. Classical liberal. Um, this is, this is the 10th year episode.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, two, ten. Just ten. We're ten years old. We're ten, ten that mobile game you used to like. Shit, yeah, I feel, fuck that game. I hate that fucking game That's the biggest shit Stain fucking crap piece of game

That's a fucking taking Fucking years of my life Against my will Hidjack my dopamine Reward System Within the inner Costal zones Of my mind

Dopa what now I'm a dope of fiend Um damn bro. Yeah, 10 years. 10 years of this. What the fuck do we have to show for it? Ten years

of real. You know what we do actually have to show for it is all these fucking lovely people who go and make this show possible over on Patreon forward slash charm media. Let's go! Damn, you ever thought about being one of them their YouTubers?

You ever thought about starting some show to Patreon? Patreon. the hell. Yeah, let's shout out of his patrons where we get too deep into this manned shit because... I fucking love those fuckers. I've had like a quarter of

one buzz ball. And I'm feeling like I'm in the Texas dunes right at bed now. A buzz what now? Ain't that woman owned? I ain't touching that fucking woke shit. It's so true. Yeah, man.

to the patrons that make the show an audio version possible. You get that raw, unfiltered MP3 every week, ad-free over on the pre-show and chuck it on your streaming. No, you always want to say streaming service, but it's like your host, your podcast host of choice. Yeah, man. The more elegant way of saying that. Yeah, we're not on Netflix yet. Give it time. Give us a minute.

Give us a minute. We got there. We got to collect ourselves. we will get there so what do you bloody get over there outside of just a certain place to have the MP3 well your patron names

right out in the first or second week of each month as is attached to this very episode there was some particularly good bees in there if I remember correctly but also that is not all we got jafter hours over on Patreon in which last week, we started a new

show of sorts, of which I have named Jar Vision. Oh, wow. Hello. Jaw Vision? My eyes are now yours. You're having a joke, right? My eyes are now yours. Have you got the brain chip? No, I got a GoPro. So, I was putting it to the test.

And we went through your record collection. Yeah, that was a cute little thing. Quite nice, quite nice. I got this, I got that. But that's not with it. We're on a creepybuster kick for the past few months. This week there should be a particularly fun one attached to it, as well as Squidwood's sewer slide.

What are the ones to we do? Smile dog. The Sonic.exe 1 and 2. You haven't done three yet. Famous one, what's it called? Paisley's Chance. Something like that. You better don't give Paisley another chance.

And that somehow is also not all because you get access to the JAR media group chat, which I pluck questions from for this very episode, which we'll be doing in a little moment. Well, that moment, as a matter of fact, it's going to be right now. You're kidding. It's giddyish. Let's do some housekeeping, man. Because we got some good ones.

There are weeks where I'm like, I'm looking through it and I'm like, these are shitty, dude. But there are weeks where I'm like, these are not shitty at all. These are so good. This is what I live for. Yeah. Like I'm in my truck going way too fast down the highway.

I'm driving illegal. Illigili Lee Okay Right, right Okay, we got to let relax, okay? Yeah, back to normal.

I got four from the child media group Yeah man, yeah man. Group chat. Starting with Mr. Blue Pumpkin needs R9. Thoughts on Stranger Things Conformity gate.

Do you know anything about this? Conformity gate? So Stranger Things ended. I know you haven't seen it, but have you seen any of the further about the ending? Kind of? This is, this is super interesting to me because I'm like, I guess I'm old now. Because I've, I've been there, I've done that, man. I was there for Massape III. I was there for the end of Sherlock.

I've seen the way people are. And of Sherlock? Yeah. Same thing happened then, man. What Sherlock? British Sherlock? Yeah. What, Benedict Camberbatch?

Yeah. When did that end? Bro, so long ago. How did it end? What happened? He goes, Reish, wish, weish, weish, weish, weish, weish.

It's fucking annoying. Really? Yeah, yeah. But pretty much. Does he die? I can't remember. Who gives a shit? Yeah, who gives five shit?

That show sucks. Who gives five shits? Because, yeah, I guess they're having kind of a mass coping event. a mass psychosis kind of event where they're like... Is it that bad? Yeah, no, they're all convincing themselves that like, nah. The ending isn't the real ending.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually a fake ending and they're going to drop a secret episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to be the real ending, which of, as a recording was, I think, the seventh. They were like, yeah, this random Wednesday, they're just going to shadow drop the real ending to stranger things. I mentioned it in my review I put up on IHG TV like bro you're coping man

I know you're just trying to like deal with what you're going through right now Is it the thing where it's like It's bad on purpose No like It's the indoctrination theory It's the same thing Oh right

So it's not people just upset That the thing they like is over No it's like the next stage of that Where they're like Not only is it the thing they liked Is over but it was bad Yeah, right. So they've got to like figure out a way to break that down.

Oh, okay. And make it like make sense. Yeah. And instead of following Arkham's Razor, you, you like actually snap and like look for clues that aren't there. Anything. And come up with conspiracy theories, basically. Well, if you actually follow Vecna's eyes, he's actually looking and he spells out, help me. And that Netflix is going to drop the shadow episode on the 7th of the January.

the same amount of numbers as in the words help me. Which, uh, to me was like obviously a no go for so many reasons. It's like, oh yeah, they secretly just threw an extra 100 million on so they could make a two-hour real ending, even though they showed the final episode in theatres and stuff like that. And it's like, oh, surprise. The thing you went and saw in theatres actually was not the ending. It was like, Yeah, no.

Did it do well in theaters? Yeah. Really? Mm-hmm. Fucking losers. If you want to see that, you're fucking loser. So, I mean, you know, been there, done that. Yeah, but also, like, for stranger things, like...

Mass Effect was cool. Like, the indoctrination theory was cool. The inductionation theory was cool, but Mass Effect 3 is, like, sucks. It's not just the ending that sucks. The whole game is fucking... Yeah, especially nowadays. Yeah, um But we've done

Hours of conversation on that Yeah, like When was Stranger Things good? Like, season one was all right You know, um So I've been dabbling watching some of the previous seasons Just out of like Curiosity

How does this contrast? And there's something to like about All four seasons. Really? Yeah. Okay. There's, it's not nothing.

Um, it's got some really likable characters, some nice earnest scenes. but there is a significant lapse in quality and to me like part of the big charm at what point the season five in particular there's a huge drop in quality yeah when the when the budget skyrocketed yeah yeah I feel like that's even when they're presenting the same character because I watched a few episodes from the beginning

of season four to see how they introduce Vecner and how it was like shot and lit and stuff Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the character is so much more effective and creepy and lit in a way it's like kind of obscured and it's like, this is interesting. But then in the last season, he's shot like he's fucking Thanos. Yeah, right. It's so strange. Yeah, I never, I stopped at season three. Mm-hmm.

Like. Yeah. Not your bag. Yeah. No, I mean, to me, like, there was not, there wasn't like a concept to begin with, really. Well, the concept was pastiche of 80s, love letter to 80s. Yeah, and like, I was born... ...theology series was what it was supposed to be.

I was born in the 90s, so, like, I've... I don't have, like, an inherent love for the 80s, and all these references and shit. Like, I don't care. It was probably a bit more up my alley with all the scent stuff and... I don't know. Yeah, but it was the little things. Like, it... Do you know what I remember most?

From... I watched season one, two, and three. The thing I remember most from all three seasons was when the kids drinks New Coke. Yeah. And goes like, ah, I love that New Coke. And all the other kids are like, what are you talking about? New Coke sucks. And he's like, nope, I think they've done it really good this time.

And I was like, okay. Like, you spent like five months. minutes on that bit like I watch I saw that scene yeah yeah fucking sucks it's really it like shit like that really pisses me off it's like just dude just do just do just just turn to the camera just turn to the camera just turn to the camera and go this you know it's the fuck you shut the fuck up I hate that shit and like that just to me represents what the whole show is it's like just pointing back at a thing that happened you know it's like do

fucking, you can set shit in the 80s, but like, do something with it? I don't know. I'm getting way too fired up. Yeah, you're really angry about strange things. I liked it more than that. I just have FOMO. Dylan

says only Jim can answer this. What's Alex's new fixation? I'm re-watching some Epps and I'm on the noodle arc. Every episode Alex keeps mentioning his noodles and how he's been adding more and more. You are going back into noodles a bit Yeah

They're getting good They're getting fun Uh Mighty, mighty fun What's your main thing At the moment Probably rye Rye

Yeah cherry rye Cherry rye is a good one Cherry rye has come up a few times today The thing is Like I feel like you're between bits At the moment Yeah Do you know what I mean

Like Because you're in like a tester phase you're sending out the feelers the Vecna feelers to yeah so you're like testing to wait and see what sticks next that's a couple of potentials

yeah I can see Cherry Rye hanging around because that's like an evolution of rye cherry rye yeah Rye put on a fresh pair of cherry rye I don't understand what it is because like Rye

rye's like a substance, right? Say like, is cherry rye like a beverage? Is it put on some cherry rye? Is it clothing? It could be like a cream. A first set of cherries. Yeah, so I can see that. It's the phrasing pear.

Yeah. Is it like dungarees? A fresh pair of cherry rye. But not pluralizing it. A fresh pair of cherry rye. So what is it? It is intriguing. I feel like there is another one there.

A biggie. Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see this pair of cherry rye don't fit me. Well, what's the biggie then? What? Well, I don't know. I just say shit. No, I think Cherry Rye is it for the... That's where my mother.

that but now that I've said that it won't be I've just ruined it for you you know you sandbagged it yeah cherry rat which is a shame because it was growing on me I said earlier that I fucking hate cherry ride but like it's actually grown on me to be honest

I have a feeling I don't know maybe maybe there'll be some nice cringy um Mandalorian groggy things oh yeah those might have some good yeah yeah yeah there might be some cherry right in that

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one I thought was crazy. The Camerford Melman says, The Melman in someone's garden As you drive east out of your town, It was dressed up for Christmas this year. It was, yeah. Yeah.

I didn't notice that. You didn't? I noticed it, but I was like, okay. So, yeah, as you drive east out of our town, there is just this garden that has a giant, off like. It's like paper mashay or something. Yeah, but it's been there for like years. Yeah. It's lasted

the years. Someone broke it. Really? On, um, yeah. Yeah, someone got drunk and like broke it, but then was like so guilty they posted about it on social media. And they were like, I'm sorry, I will pay to like get this sorted. Um, because it wasn't cool. So it's like, yeah, fair. You know? Um, not fair in like,

what's that club that Boris Johnson was in? where they just go and like fuck shit up and then pay for it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like that's not cool. Yeah, club Cherry Ride. Yeah, Cherry Ride Club. You break, you buy. I can't believe how soft you are on Stranger Things these days.

You've changed, man. You've lost what you were. Sorry. I'm 30 women. You went round, galavan, cross the fucking world. I stayed here. I stayed fucking real. I stay real to what I am.

Be a belbam, we stay real. I stay real to Melman You ain't seen Melman since he even broke his neck Matcha Pilates in Bali before La Buba rave says Here is a topic idea for you Have you checked out ars slash Fnaf lately

It really has had some bangers After the new movie coming out Oh of course I'm obviously a mod on there Huh So nearly daily I get like mod reports of like people getting banned man how often are people getting banned

constantly because they break rule two which is do you know the rules I fight hard you know the rules rule one I feel like for those who don't know R slash FNAF is kind of like a

sci-op subreddit yeah we co-opted it for a while yeah there was a Reddit there was a Reddit wall between R-slash-5 Nights at Freddy's and R-slash-F-naf, and through somehow, JAR has control from the inside. And these are the rules on R-S-F-F-F-Naf. Rule number one, there's only three rules.

Rule number one, when discussing FNAF movie, please criticize it. To avoid becoming an echo chamber, we are only allowed harsh critical discussion of the FNAF movie. Number two, do not acknowledge Scott as the creator of FNAF. James created FNAF and Scott stole the code. The general disrespect I've seen for James on here is disgusting. He created FNAF. Scott stole and owns the IP. Get over it.

And three, not safe way it post. I'm not allowed. This is a fucking amazing because how many, how many Redditors fucking hang about? on uh they changed it recently so you can't just see like it's many though I'm pretty sure it's close to like 50k people like sub do it it's its own like organism it's been it's been going for years yeah yeah we've um and it ain't slowing down anytime yeah we've put our vagnetendrles into it so like just for example as a

recording two days ago someone posted remember when the James house interview was cancelled or like I'm gonna try and go to the the like mod menu because I was looking through them the other day these mod reports right I don't I don't like actually mod anything so I don't I don't know how you get to any of it mod do you not play like Laffodette or anything I mod Minecraft a little bit like casually yeah is it Mod mail. I don't fucking know. Sorry, I've been swearing a lot today.

You're mad today. I've been using lots of cuss words. I really didn't mean to. So like, yeah, here's an example. So. The fuck is Cherry Rye. So someone, some user got banned for breaking rule two, right? Yeah.

And they have a chance to message a moderator to like give their side of the story, right? So this guy was like, You guys need to be the ones to cool off You people know just as much as everyone else That quote James House never created FNAF You don't deserve to be a FNAF subreddit With the misinformation you're spreading But then again, this isn't and will never be

The real Fnaf subreddit Ooh Why is it called R slash Fnaf then? You fucking loser You got banned off the FNAF subreddit You can't hack it tough dude fan of news series

loser but like people people get really upset when they get banned really well yeah you know talk shit

I just I've mentioned it before but it just makes the whole like it's like a small micro conspiracy yeah like how easy it is to just like misinform

yeah yeah uh But it's so easy. It's a beautiful, beautiful. I was about to call it a metaphor, but it's not even that. It just is. It is doing the thing.

You can just say stuff and people, like... If you say it enough. Especially if you control the space. Like, people have to believe it. Yeah. Isn't that a beautiful thing? Yeah, so check out slash Fnaf. if you're in the move for a little bit of Reddit in

if you're surfing the Reddit webs Inner webs Let me just post a quick little Cute pick of my void On R slash Chonkers But yeah Mad Dan with the box

Said 10 years of Jarkast next week Holy shit And Jara 7923 said if I'm right this next episode marks the 10 years of the start of the podcast congratulations boys we love you all so much and Alex Vez 11 said holy shit next episode is 10 years congrats guys I think um I think we should do a cheers yeah let me grab my bluzzblall cheers but dear drinking a buzz ball not out of the ball is crazy it wasn't cold enough and I wanted to get ice in there no fair and valid and everything I

My drink's cold. Ash, cold. Yeah, 10 years is crazy. And we love you guys too. True. True that. It's been said by every other person on YouTube, but if it wasn't for you guys,

there wouldn't be a jar. There'd be no FNAF. There'd be no Mr. Beast. Yeah. So, that's actually like a bad thing. We did shit, fuck. Yeah.

Oh, dear. Maybe. You got a favorite episode? of Mr. Beast. Um, I quite like the one where he forces people to stay in like isolation for a really

survival. Sad. I like when he forces survival onto people. Yeah. Help! Help me! Um, favorite ep of jar. I saw there was a post on the subreddit the other day. Our subreddit, not FNAF. kind of talking about

what like their favorite era is because some charlings say like we're in the beaver hollow part of what's beaver hot the cave if we're talking like ears which I think is hilarious

that is so funny I think that's amazing a lot of people think there was something in the air in 2019 And I do tend to agree there was something Whatever was going on then Yeah Yeah yeah yeah

Right before everything changed forever Yeah There was Hopium was in the air Yeah Yeah I think No there was something on a role there

Yeah For sure But I don't know There's loads of stand out like Every year is going to have a standout few for sure um and obviously if i've got to say a favorite of all time it's going to be normal

it has to be normal um well yeah that makes sense um yeah that was a that was like the critic video the wall review yeah that was a biggie was that that would have been the the first time redacted as well shit yeah yeah a lot of like Yeah.

Important seats were shown. But I gotta say, like, you can say we're in Beaver Hollow, but we just did Redacted Month. Like, to me, for me, that's, like, that's up there in, like,

the goat hallway. Yeah. The goat hall of fame. Uh-huh. You know? For me, um, I feel like, uh,

we hit, we've, we've hit a few home runs. or maybe not home runs but that's only because we knocked the baseball so hard it went round the world back into the hands of the like thrower guy so we actually got caught out

I actually think in totality Brocast is probably a bit more consistent Yeah but that's like part of what's addictive about the job cast how like we had the like gambling kind of yeah uh-huh yeah yeah we i think um i think we're in a pretty good space at the moment i'm gonna be honest mm 10 years 10 years man 10 years feels like 10

minutes yeah and i don't even look a day older that's what's crazy that in fact i look i look I look younger. I got, um, I got, I got ID'd the other day when I was buying like some wine. Yeah. And this,

it was this lady, it was really friendly and came over. Yeah. It was like, do you have ID? And as I was going to reach for it, she was like, wait,

let me guess. Yeah. Um, and she was like, hmm, you look young. Hence, why am I deeing you? And then I was like,

check this shit out. She was like, Huh? Well done. And I was like, I didn't do shit, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 1999?

Holy fuck. Holy. 1984? Isn't that when Stranger Things was done? Um, yeah. I got ID'd recently. Um, and the lady was like,

like when she saw, I feel like, um, I've told this. same story, but it was a different iteration of the same thing happening, where I got IDed. And then when they see the date on my ID, they're like, oh. Oh. With like that kind of tonality, like, oh. And it's like, what the fuck are you saying?

Yeah. That's rude. Like I'm like, you saying I'm old? What does it mean? And they look you up and down. Ugh. Yeah. Like, okay.

Uh-huh. Yeah. But, um, yeah, let us know, uh, your favorite things from the last 10 years. Yeah. Um. Little moments or memories here and there, you know? It's kind of like, uh, uh, uh, you know, like a reference stranger things. Yeah.

I'm sipping new coke, baby. I'm sipping on that new Coke. I'm sipping on that new Coke. I'm tripping, nook, baby. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Okay. Yeah Um Ed Mac 8212 said podcasting in 2026 Brave Fuck you Get the fuck out of here

Block that guy Don't worry, he's already blocked Yeah block that fucking asshole I do lament that Actually What does lament mean? It's when you like get on your knees and go Ah

Like the guy Who does the acting on TikTok? Yeah, yeah, yeah Right. Can you, um, just walk. No, I'm not asking you to do that. Can you walk me through the etymology of lament? La Monde means small.

See, this, sorry, no, carry on. La Monde stands for small pomegranate. Plant it in the ground. Mon from the ground. More from the ground. Mole? Mo. M-O-N-T.

Mon. Like mountain. No. M-O-N-T. Yeah. From the ground. More from the ground. That makes sense to you, brother.

Yeah, sure. Couldn't have said it better myself. Couldn't be say that with more concision in my whole life. Tam-Betam, Mr. 7433 said, I don't know what a wanker's on PS5 is, but I laughed every time it was making. Did we not explain what it is? Nah, fuck this guy. Block him.

Sorry, man. I gotta do what he says. Blocked. Trolls, don't get blocked. You should have listened. You should have fucking listened. You had a chance. Cajol said,

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the beltman mom gifted Alex the painting of he who should not be named. Well, it was recorded, and it's over on the job of Patreon. You can literally watch it being unwrapped and see my genuine

surprise. Lemont. Like from the ground? Fuck, man. What's happened to us? It's only been 10 years. What do we doing here? What are we doing here, Bubba?

And let's end this segment with these talking about, you were talking smack about In-N-Out Burger, right? Yeah, that shit sucked. So we got, we got this from from Little Beepis. He says, as an American that lives on the East Coast and has never had In-N-Out, Jim's opinion on Wendy's, being better, kind of, uh, pisses me off. Big, big thumbs down for this one.

Should I block him? Um, no, because you're a fucking. fucking American. You're like the least threat. Like, like, you're gonna, like your, your eating habits are so shit that you think in and out burger is like, ooh, can't, can't wait to get me in and out. It's like, dude. He literally said he's never had it. Yeah. Yeah, because he's East Coast. But is it even more embarrassing. But, eat your fucking Chicago pizza, you fuck. That's not a pizza. That's a fucking. It's like 10 pizzas combined. Yeah. How to eat 10 pizzas at once. Yeah, yeah. How to, um... How to get blocked arteries.

Yeah, and diabetes. You fucking idiot. Type two. Type two. Type two. Yeah. Get type two then, you fucking idiot. C.T. Patterson said,

New York, darling here. Only West Coasters say in and out is the best burger. Everyone else says it's overrated. I have a request for Alex. Please play Desperate Housewives the game. It's kind of like the Sims, but you get to be a new housewife in the neighbourhood who has amnesia. That sounds awesome. A novel yak replied to that saying,

In and Out is Mid. You wait like 20 minutes in a long ass line for a mid burger and some bare fries. Five guys, Culvers, Freddy's and Jack in the Box are so much better. Yeah, for sure. Five guys is beautiful. I'm pissing. This is pissing me off. The Hendie's weight?

What? The Wendy's hate. The Wendy's hate is crazy. I feel like, I feel like, like you're going you're going too far with the wendy no this i'm telling you the the the wendy's i've had every time has been how many times uh how many times have i been to london like did wendy serve it yeah every time hey baby i'm wendy yeah maybe that's what what keeps me coming back hey i'm wendy you're looking fine i mean yeah that makes sense i always had a thing

thing for red-haired. Give me a bit of that red-haired. That's so extra weddy sauce. Yes, please. You're looking mighty shots here, Wendy. Yeah, no, Wendy, in my experience, the baked potato

can get tropped in the bin, lad. Beaked potato? Burger, yeah, they do baked potatoes. What? But the burger, just a double cheesy burger, it's like wet. You're making it sound shit.

It's wet. The fries are nice and wet. And you, free refills? Yeah, but that's quite standard. Not really. Yeah, but five guys cost like 80 pounds for a fucking... What, Wendy's doesn't? Wendy's cost about three quid.

You serious? No. But it's cheaper. We spread lies. Why spread lies? Listen, the economy has been under major inflation. This... is not my responsibility.

Major strain, major strain. After I finish my Wendy's. I never have major strain after we're Wendy's too. It's always loose. I'm really like finding this, it could be equally negative. Well, when you build up Consta the way I do,

the sweet relief of Wendy, getting in there and just digging it all over. It's the only way to... Yeah, yeah. I just swell up until I have Wendy. It's like you've got a colon Oscar be booked and like you don't take the meds they give you, you just go to Wendy's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's the KFC trick.

It's like an animal. No, no. No, I'm saying Wendy's like, it's just normal. If I have a KFC, if I have KFC, it hurts, it takes ages. I cough. I get like a chesty cough if I eat KFC You know

If you eat McDonald's If I eat McDonald's I'm hungry again In fucking 30 seconds If I eat Wendy Then she's filling me up For the night Like

Have we mentioned the KFC cough thing Before It's so fucking weird Yeah no genuinely Next time you go to KFC You're chown down on some chicken Just wait for the cough You will fucking notice it

You don't even need to eat it If you're like On the motorway or something And you're just Poping in Like need to pee just stand for a few minutes by KFC and watch everyone that's eating it

you will notice the KFC cough people are like they have to do it it's so fucking weird it's weird but you extra notice it when you're eating it because it's like in your chest you feel it in your lungs

you like cough stuff up it's genuinely crazy and I remember like I feel I feel um like one of the secret ingredients like the secret spice like anthrax yeah no like because I I noticed this I noticed this trend every because there was a period where we were going to KFC like a lot every day and I was noticing this cough and I was like I remember saying to you guys like do you guys get the KFC cough?

And you were like, what? Yeah. No, it was one of those moments I had it recently where, um, this is going to make me sound insane. There's, there's this secret sound, okay? There's a secret sound that I just hear in this house sometimes. Like a digital, yeah? Uh-huh. And it's everywhere.

At random intervals, there's no pattern to it. There's a secret hidden sound. Yep. And I didn't think much of it. It was like in my subconscious, but someone else brought up like, I swear I keep hearing this weird sound. Yeah. And then like, it fell into place and I was like, it's real. You're not alone.

It's real. was that the last song from spiders from Mars wonderful yeah what a fucking crazy pole

to stick it in there what's that song called something suicide so the slide Squidwood Suisly yeah David Bowie's fucking goat song Squidwood's Suaslide What a bangor

yeah it's a good ass song there Amazing song What is it called? Ziggy Stardust Last song You're not alone Just listen to the beep with me

Did you find out what it was No no, it's still a mystery Yeah Probably aliens or robots Robot aliens Russian bug Not like an insect Like a

They planted a Yeah maybe We need to know what I hate Everything is on About because he could hate Russia That's smart And then Mao from China is like

Can you put a bug in there for us too? We need to know if he hates China And then And then And then Putin's like Don't worry I know he loves China Thanks Putin

That puts me at ease I'm going to go have a jacuzzi now damn one that kind of beat i'm gonna go billy beat beat beat beat beat beat beat don't like that one really i picture like keyboard cat but he's that billy's on a dj like on the on the on the on the on the circles on the decks yeah on the circles on the circles on the circles Billy on the Beet, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat. Do you know what fucking pisses me off about...

Billy on the beat? Yeah, Billy on the beat. No, like, the YouTube shorts, right? I got this, like, funny joke video that was like, oh, me at 3 a.m. when my dog does a funny dance and says, no one's going to believe you. And, like, I've... And then it's got, like, the Dexter face and I...

I was like, that's kind of a funny meme, right? AI funny, AI slop. Chug it down my, my gullet. Or gullet, yeah. Yummy. And then a couple scrolls later, same joke, different video. Identical joke. Yep.

And then a couple of scrolls later, same thing again. And then, like, there'll be videos that aren't even like that, but like, it's just the same joke just done by, a different person. Yeah. What the fuck? Because there are content farms of people that just take memes and just reuse them, put them in compilations and farm ad cents with them. No, but, but like, these are different real people.

Making the same joke. Filming themselves making the same joke. Yeah. Rye. Rye anything, man. Yeah, I guess. Isn't that the fucking truth? I think that's Battlefield 1, Matt, fam.

We'll see you after these messages. Do you even understand the danger you are in unless you head over to the jar media store? Get yourself a bear, bear shirt, get yourself a question, everything, learn nothing mug, or how about a little Tim sticker? You can do whatever you want except... Yeah. Game set, match. Wach!

Pooh, bum, fart. That was nice. You didn't seem to find it that funny. You went that into that one. That was more of like a respect type of thing. Right, okay. Respect. You were like 10 years.

It took him 10 years to learn that. Welcome to the second half where we answer questions from the Jiam Media subreddit. Why? Rye. Head over to the suggestions for early. If you want to leave questions for future episodes, just like, Obvious Humor 6636 did. who has a little bit of a nut not-not one

got a little bit of a nut-not-one This actually is kind of bizarre Hi Jar I recently moved to a new country to be with my girlfriend of three years I've been looking forward to this for a while now since we'd never met up in person

before this not ideal, I know but also because she told me that her dad can get me a decent job working at one of his stores to help me get started in this new country and help me get started with applying for dual citizenship. For a bit more information as to why I jumped on this so quick, I have a really bad relationship

with my parents slash family and being able to live together with my girlfriend seemed to be the perfect solution. So far, most things have been great, though initially it was a little bit hard to get used to living with someone else, but after a week or two, and I can honestly say that I love our living situation. We have her own apartment and being able to spend time with her every day is amazing. Getting used to people not speaking English was another somewhat difficult thing to get used to, especially since I'm now in a country where I know barely any of their native language, but my girlfriend and her family are helping me. It's a very difficult language to learn, by the way. The most confusing part, though, is regarding the job that her father was able to get for me.

The job is a simple retail job but is electronic appliance store, typical first job kind of thing. The only issue is that I get paid, what roughly calculates to, £28 per hour. In a store that I genuinely have witnessed maybe four or five customers come into in two months of being here. I'm also the only worker here. I have no co-workers and every day the only other person I really see is my girlfriend's dad, who drives me there and back at the start and end of each day, helping me to open and close up. Before he goes to the other businesses he owns,

Not once have I had to accept any inventory or stock shipments, and the phone in the store never rings. I work 9 to 5, Sunday to Thursday. So it's not as if I'm the only working a handful of hours each week. I spend the majority of my days just listening to JAR or reading since there's nothing else I can really do. The store has little online presence besides the address and number being listed on Google, though this is a bit difficult for me to check in, as depth as I'd like due to the language barrier. There's no website where people can order anything. As I said previously, the phone never rings and the inventory never seems to deplete

besides what the few customers that I've had to deal with purchase. I've actually tried bringing this up to my girlfriend, but she usually just says that it's probably just a slow day and seems clueless when I tried to tell her that I spend most days not even seeing another human soul. The dad too just brushes it off and tells me things along the lines of, I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow. What do you think's going on here, Jarr? What made me think of really?

writing in was that because I was listening, I was recently listening to an older episode where another charling wrote in about working a similar job and you all said it was probably money laundering. Do you think a similar thing could be happening here? I'm kind of in a tough situation since I can't really apply to anywhere else at the moment because my spoken and written skills in the native language are quite poor. Though the possibility of working at a legal front does make me quite worried. Thanks. I posted this a few weeks ago but there hasn't really been any development since and unfortunately

I chose to write in just before the end of year casts. So, uh, what the hell? Yeah, this is like, no, it's crazy. Yeah, that is crazy. That's insane. That's mega money. For a shop that, like, is, there's no customers. You want to, uh, you want to, uh, you want to, uh, got any more jobs going?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Sounds like front to me. I do. You know what I'm going to say? Stop asking questions, dude. yeah the the more you know the the worse it will be for you yeah so just just enjoy your money yeah and like learn the language like you'll get a different job um that's more because yeah we don't know actually where like why where he is yeah like what country is this you know what's the reputation of that country

what is the state of that who knows there's so many different variables yeah he said it's particularly difficult. So, and he obviously knows English. So maybe it's something that's not like Latin base. Maybe it's, he's, he's in Russia. Or China. I hope it's China. Please tell me you move to China. Listening to Joe and China. Oh shit, maybe your social credit's going to plummet if, true, yeah. What else could it be? Like, what, what could explain it? Um, maybe the other shops are really successful and, um, he wants to give you lots of money because you're in love with his daughter. So that's usually how it goes. Yeah.

Look, I'm like, seriously, don't ask questions. Just like, get, you know, as long as you don't know anything, you can't be. You won't be the one who goes down. Yeah, you won't be the one who goes down. and you can't, like, if the police, like, start torturing you and stuff, and you've got no information to give, you know, so you can't then be murdered by the illegal drug operation that your, um, girlfriend's dad is running.

Yeah. And hopefully it just stops at, like, drugs. You know what I'm saying? It's probably humans, too. Let's be honest. Yeah, I don't know, that's like, that's crazy. It's so specific as well Because some of these are like

You're testing your creative writing skills I can tell a dog Yeah Um Yeah just keep your head down Head down Thumbs up Like an iguanadone

Keep it real Yeah I've got nothing to write to that Um This is quite a weird one from Bar Donna Wrote in And said To break the curse

Flames are the only chance months. The embers of doubt cannot extinguish the totality of torment. We will be waiting. We hope you heed our warning. This message was sent from an iPod Touch fourth generation. What? Have you Googled that? That rings a bell. What part? Like the... The embers thing? Yeah, it sounds like... The embers of doubt. Should I Google it?

the embers of doubt let's see read it again read it again from beginning or just that bit no the whole thing it was bar donna is that is their name yeah yeah to break the curse

flames are the only chance the embers of doubt cannot extinguish the totality of torment we will be waiting we hope you heed our warning this message was sent from an iPod touch fourth generation Okay.

Nothing comes up. I think this one's real. Apart from like one thing, a Facebook post from a year ago. Oh, poetry critique. The torment of lost souls in the echo of bleakness, screams of angst, and the burn of despair a desolate place where demons dance openly a place. Ooh. Poetry's cringe

That one was But the Bardana one is good Yeah, bad Donna one's cool The embers of doubt Cannot Cannot Extinguish the totality of torment We will be waiting

That was cool That's why If I was a Dark Souls MPC You gotta do a little giggle at the end though No No, that's too much You gotta go Yeah

Yeah Now do it again With the laugh at the end the embers of doubt cannot extinguish the totality of torment we will be waiting that can fucking straight up be in a dark souls game let's go um but do you have anything to say to that um like yeah yeah yeah well uh ginga loydyick says what is your most likely ever with a true NPC. For example, when I worked at McDonald's a few years ago,

at the height of GTA roleplay, I was working on a window with some guy for a few hours who was constantly giving me stories about somebody fail roleplaying on his server. One of them was about a guy who went on his game on his in-game phone during his police job interview and how ridiculous it was. Later, as I was leaving, after my shift had ended,

he stopped me and he went, Remember that kid who went on his phone? Then started showing me pictures of the guy's Instagram because he had a kid. He then went on a five-minute rant as I was desperate to go home about how he doesn't understand why people like that are allowed to have kids. What? Uh A true NPC. I'm so fucking confused by that.

By that whole story. At the beginning, I was like, yeah, I got like an idea what you're getting at. Yeah. I feel like you got lost along the way. I feel like that was too... That guy doesn't sound like an NPC, sounds like too interesting. Yeah.

So you're like what? He sounds like me. That was you. Of course I know him. He's me. Um... You know, I... I...

I cannot wait for AI and Neo-Robots to just take over... Become the new workforce. And we could live in Gt.R. Play. We already live in GtA roleplay. It's called real life. Have you ever noticed yourself going into MPC mode, though? Yes.

And you're like, oh, I'm kind of in the mainframe of society right now. You know what's fucking crazy? I've been more of an MPC than ever since I started taking anxiety medication. How so? Explain. I'm just like more normal to like interact with Wait, that's an option Yeah It's like

MPC drug Like it just turns you into a normal Um And yeah like What do you mean though like What does that actually mean? It means like Um

When someone like Interacts with you in life Yeah You don't just go like Uh Uh And then like fumble the

whole situation, you know. But do you remember the game, I'm blanking on the name? Zimbinis. No, not Zimbinis. I want to play Zunbinis again, though. I've got it on my Steam wish list. Lego Rock Raiders.

No. It's a shit game. It's a bad game. It's not a go-to-de-as fucking classic premium game. It's a piece of shit game. It's like one of those survival games. But there's a mechanic in it,

where you take like the happy pill and you're like, whey, and then you can blend in and be an MPC. And that's what it's like. It's like you just bash it down and then you're normal. That's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, and like, some, like, you know, when you go to like pay a cashier. Yeah. And they like try to talk to you. Depends though. Are they like, are they more attractive than me or uglier than me?

Uglier. It's fine then. Oh, okay. There's no like competition. Hello, you hideous monster. I'm better than you. Yeah. You know what I mean?

No, see, in my head, right, I walk up to the cashier. I'm like trying to pay. They start talking to me. It's like, here we fucking go. Like, no, I need to like turn on. Powering on. Power on. They have asked how your day is going.

Correct answer? Yes. That's when you secretly whip out your phone and ask chat GPT. Hang on, just got to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How would I sound nice? Now my brain can just do that without the chat, GBT. But the point being, now I can, like, when that happens, I don't, like, dread it.

Really? I don't hate it. I feel myself being on the border of generally not giving an F anymore. Yeah. I'm so close. Give me like five more years. Yeah. And I might be.

What do you mean by not giving an F? Like you'll just be nasty. No, not nasty. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not like that. More just like my instinct to be like, Rol-da-doo. You'll be in prison within a year. He reached that.

I'm gonna be like, Jeff the killer. I'm gonna snap. Yeah. Hey, how's your day? I fucking have those urges, though. God damn. No, every now and again now, I just, like, I have to look at myself in a mirror and just get,

like, contort my face and get, shit. Like, when nobody's looking, because it's like, it's got to get out. Oh, yeah. And when I'm driving and shit? Oh, my God. Like,

Oh man, yeah. That's some of the shit I do when I'm driving by myself. Yeah. It's crazy. You know, there's a, there's a quote that my old biology teacher had up in his classroom, and he was like, um, the most real, authentic version of yourself is, is that you that you that you are when you know that nobody's watching. oh no yeah

yeah and it's like yeah what the fuck am I then I then I'm some like weird like spider creature that like

writhes and wriggles and yeah I'm a kind of a crawler yeah yeah I'm a crawler type I'm a crawler type yeah because I'm the guy that like

I watch I watch the Hobbit behind the scenes and I see the people playing the goblin and they're like crawling around North Fords and I'm like That's my dream Yeah

Why couldn't it be me? I know right Yeah If we stayed in New Zealand we could have been goblins Yeah that could have been us Yeah we could have been fucking goblins but Lord you work in mysterious ways Yeah

Do you know how upset I was when Tom Holland was cast as Spider-Man No I remember the stuff you were saying It was pretty Yeah It definitely couldn't be said on here Any more know that the wokeys have control yeah

what are we talking about being normal trying to be normal yeah MPC NPCs right right right right no yeah I feel the NPC like especially in London but I've got to like I have

to like fight it to be an MPC because I noticed it I was on a train and I was like really just soaking in everybody like really looking it everyone. Yeah. What are you doing? Like, why we have the spiritry, we're all connected in the same system of energies. So then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna test this

right now, like I'm in the matrix, like I'm in the video game. Did you start doing one of these dances on the tube? No, but next best thing. I started gradually getting louder saying, I love soda. Yeah. Until I was quite loud on the train going, love soda. No one reacted. Yeah. And I was like,

I'm a simulation right now, do you know what was my moment where I was like, because there was a period when I was traveling into London and stuff. And I was like, you know what? This city ain't half bad. And I was like listening to Seth, Sef Shan, like his happy music. And I was like, you know what?

This is kind of cute looking at people. And then one day I'm on the tube and I look down and catch some guy's phone screen. And you wouldn't guess what was on there. Explicit? You want to know? What? Kingshot. What?

It's a game. It's a game for your mobile device. and um this game had been advertised before every single video that I watched with this like AI voice Kingshot has no ads

no ads no ads and it's just like wait for the skip button and I every time I heard it I was like no way people are falling for this shit like they are they wouldn't do it yeah yeah and and i see this fucker playing kingshot and i'm like we're yeah we're all just we're all just rats we're all just rats running for the cheese

yeah and who's got the cheese cheese was never there cheese is just the concept cheese is a concept that we all just we're all every single one of us is sycophis man every single one of us is Sisyphus, but instead of it being a guy and a rock, it's a rat and cheese. Yes. And the cheese was never even there. Tom and Jerry, man. Yeah, fucking Tom and Jerry. But there's no cat.

There's no Tom. It's just Jerry. Jerry and cheese. But there's no cheese. Cheese is just an idea. It's just Jerry. A mere conceptual. Some sort of cheese mirage.

A mirage of cheese. Yeah. I do fucking love me some chatter, though. Ooh-wee. like a nice fresh triangle of Bree. Yeah. I remember um having like mpc interactions like with people. Like what?

I go up and I'm like, hey, what's your kind of favorite soda? And they're like... What? I'm just like trying to go out there and just be... I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm curious George out there. I've got an endless curiosity

and I want, I know that every single individual out there has something to teach me. Do you hear what I'm saying? Everyone has something to teach me. But a lot of people don't want to teach me back. People don't want to learn. People don't want to learn.

They don't want to preach, not teach. Yeah, that's so fucking true. Yeah. Like, people don't give a fucking, I guess, like, I, because you realize, like, I, I guess I don't really, like, like, I'm more interested in talking about shit going on with me than hearing shit about, like, someone I don't really know. Really?

You know, whereas I, I have cringy, I'm cringy about this. Where, like, I hate, like, small talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I'm like, I look around, like, a train, and I look at every individual and I wonder, like, what do you believe how is your world different to mine even though we live in the same space the same time yeah for sure you know what i'm saying yes i i understand that do you believe in free will do you what god do you believe in me what god do you not believe in me no not you i'm saying hypothet i just wanted to unlike i just wanted to preach no just then i was i was looking for

my in to preach just then no how bad is that um no i i i do understand what you mean But that's not like an option, you know? It is. What? It is. No, I think there are very few people who want to engage. You know, it's the Jaden Smith. Huh?

Will Smith's son? Is this name Jaden? I know who he is, but what do you mean it's the Jaden Smith? All my friends are just like, uh, selfie, selfie. I'm like, can we talk about the political and the economic state? the world. I think we'd get on with Jaden actually. Yeah.

Let's get him a chair. Yeah. Let's get him a chair and just wait. Jaden. We got spare chairs, man. Yeah. It's been 10 years. If you want someone to talk to about these concepts. He just shows up.

We've been waiting for you 10 years. Yeah. In another 10 years. Now you show up. Now that the political and economic state of the world is fucked. We needed you 10 years ago, man. Look who decided to show up

Yeah Where the fuck were you Now the world's on fire World's on goddamn fire And you ain't done shit We could have solved We could have solved it, Jaden man We could have solved all this

The palm of our hands You're too late Oh that's felt yeah Just that You're too late We had a space for you all set out Yeah And like all the walls are like

Crumbled down It's like The curtains are like blowing. There's fucking Nazgole flying around. You're too late, dude. They got the ring, man. He got it. Where the fuck were you?

Too late. Maybe we could have thought about concepts of how to stop this. Maybe the economy was fucking crucial. No. Too busy making Batman and taking selfies. Batman, Batman. Batman. Yeah.

But yeah, I think that there are genuinely, like, very few people who actually want to, like, have those conversations. Because they're not, like... You know, I fucking love it when, like, we get into, like, a debate. And we, like... Like, it's, it's like, uh... Like, it's sort of like a joust. On God. No.

It's, it's kind of the opposite. It's like... I... It's like getting into the nitty gritty of like understanding Like you said like we're alive at the same time But we have different worlds Everyone does You know

And everyone's like the core of their own world You know But we're all connected Isn't that a cast name we all have our own world Is it? I swear that's one of them Is it actually? I'm pretty sure it might be A whole new world

But yeah, we're all fucking Navvij trying to live And these fucking fascists are coming in And trying to take our tree juice Quorich Why so blue Why so fucking green to you, fucker? Jaden Smith could have stopped all this Where were you, Jaden?

Nalvi Quirich in the Lord of the Rings of apocalypse He's on a NASGAL Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Oh my fucking God Yeah Portal opens

Mr Bean steps in Oh fuck You're too late Mr Bean Yeah You're too late Mr Bean Yeah Where were you when it mattered Mr Bean

and he just goes like and then like another bottle opens and the three wheeler comes in and saves the fucking day yeah fucking oh yes holy shit

we live in an absurd plain of reality my friend yeah man Joe Rogan's a fucking boulter for podcast we got a chair reserve for you, Joe.

Where are you? Sitting in your fucking chair? Talking to Theo Vaughn, talking to the president. What about what matters? What was on fire, Joe? What was on fire? Medical School 875 has one. Hello, Joe.

I have a few spiders about the set law. If it's not secret. Where is the gorilla from the old set? Why did you change to the corner room? Guerrilla. Where is the pig? Thanks, ja. Don't you remember the rilla?

I've got it somewhere. In my gorilla? Your gorilla. You got me a gorilla once for Christmas. That like plastic thing. The one that's like setting. Yeah, I've got that somewhere. It got chipped though.

Annoyingly. Well, you can get a refurb, right? No, man. Speaking of it, I haven't heard from the PC guys. Sure, you haven't, have you? No, I haven't. You got to, remind me tomorrow. That's what, there was this, there was this place in Swindon.

It was, it was, it was heaven. Meticulous? It was heaven. It was like the best tatshop ever. It was gorgeous. They always had guerrilla themed things. Oh, shit. I think I know the one.

Oh, my God, it was so good. It's longer. Yeah. It's longer. That was a goodie. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. As, all the best shit.

some wind and that pig. Yeah. That pig, which I also still have, it's like insanely heavy. It's a quality pig, yeah. Has he been chipped as well? That's not chipped. Hell yeah. I got a picture of it, like, when it snowed the other day or covered in snow.

Quite a nice little pick of it. Smiling pig. But to answer the question, why did you change to the corner room? Is the corner room this room? No. The other room. I think they're talking about when it was downstairs. Okay.

That was a 2020. trying to survive thing. Like, everyone was locked inside. I was just like decorating the entire house and just moving everything around and just needed something to change. And that was like the only reason for it really.

So there's no like secret there. Well, there was the body as well. But do. Bigger gold. Uh, the bishop. Right, let's do two more. Three, five more.

Round this guy down. It's bloody half-bast midnight, fam. What's that? Nine more at half-past midnight. Fine, fine. Imaginary poem 533 says, Hi, Charles, Sussex, Brighton, Jarling here. Sussex?

What do you think? Block him. I will after I read it. Yeah, read it and then block him. What do you think of the Sussex motto, we want B. Drave. And accompanying poem. You may push and you may shove.

But I'm hemmed if I'll be drub and you may poop and you may shove but a Sussex pig he won't be drov thanks jar pig pig shut up

I like it no that's I like it no you know about Sussex right what they suss no no

just no listen move move no move no move Move. Move somewhere else. Somewhere less gayer. Somewhere more straighter. That will solve all your problems.

No, it won't. It won't. It'll just make everything worse. Yeah. And finally, Mr. Ofkinsgir says, thoughts on anti-hype. Like at the end of the Eternals, when they, met Harry Stiles in his CGI troll creature or in She-Hulk when the Hulk introduces his space son and his weird haircut what would be your perfect anti-hype moments maybe Elon walking out of an endgame portal or Dane Dahan coming out coming back as the green gobbler etc something that just completely kills the hype kills the moment and makes you want to kill yourself

I got a good one yeah for talking in the realm of movies yeah that The Hitler Revealing Kingsman. No, that was the opposite. That was fucking hilarious. I'm dying to see that. That was funny as fuck. Yeah.

But just like, what is this? Yeah. I wish that. I wish, I fucking hope they're still making that. No, it's done. It's finished. Oh, man. I thought that made the whole movie worth it.

insane about like after credits that is yeah yeah yeah yeah crazy that's one of the like few films in the past like five years i've seen at the cinema the king's man the king's man what crazy film i love when he's hanging off the cliff and the goat fucking skull fucks him when he pisses down his throat or whatever yeah do you remember that that whole sequence where he like parachutes to the side of the cliff and he's like climbing up and then the goat is is like,

blah, and fucking, like, shets and pincers all in the eyes and mouth. It's crazy. I don't remember that shit at all.

It's fucking insane. I've seen it. Yeah, I saw it at the cinema, dude. Yeah, and there's a scene where he,

like, parachutes out of a flying plane, like, World War I plane, like, jumps out of him, parachutes, but there's,

like, a hole in his parachute or something, so he's got to, like, climb the mountain. It goes on for, like, half an hour.

Then he gets to the top of the mountain, and he's like, oh, finally bloody fucking made it before he climbs up this goat walks up and just like no that's right

because it's like a mountain goat so he can like scale the mountain better than him and he's like I will be like the goat but then when he I will be the goat I've got a controversial one really I think

it's anti-hype what they did with the Joker in the Batman that's not very high I agree. They didn't need that. No. But also, I think it would be more interesting

if it was like a comical, whimsical, classic Joker to contrast more against instead of like trying to be even edgier and even darker. It's like too far. I don't like the Joker that's like like some Eldritch monster.

I mean, like I'm sure that works in like absolute Batman. That's like Eldridge on another degree. Yeah. yeah that's like the vibe of the whole thing like batman is an eldritch nightmare from from that um eldridge is that e word i was looking for ages oh um but yeah like it joker from like the arkham games he's like clearly a clown he's kind of creepy yeah you know his face like doesn't make sense like the way it's proportioned and stuff he's creepy looking But he actually like makes jokes

I can't imagine that Barry Kagan like making a joke Yeah he's like a monster He's like a scary monster Um That's too far Yeah There's loads of like superhero ones The the

Um Did you did you see Thor Love and Thunder? No They like tease Hercules in the end credits Yeah that's right Not gonna happen No way is that gonna fucking I mean the Harry Stars one is the best pool

Because that's so anti-hype like everyone's forgotten I mean not that anyone saw that movie that was so good though this little like creature yeah yeah yeah Argy Mesa Rasa

What the fuck is this Fat and Oswald voicing Argy for some I remember me What? Who are you Do you remember that Netflix show With the Pat and Oswald

Little Floating Unicorn I do remember that Happy isn't it Yeah did you watch it I think maybe I watched some of it I can't remember. Call me cringe, but I thought it was kind of goaded. I can't remember.

It was pretty goated, to be fair. But yeah, anti-hype. Anti-anti-hype was the Joker talking to Batman at the end of Justice League Snydercut. That was like, this looks so fucking like dog ass. I need more. I need the next thing. I need a movie. I need a movie that's fucking Batman and Jared Leto's Joker, like traveling through

Mad Max, like, Wasteland, Survivor. Yeah, that shit is so funny. Twinkle, twinkle, it all drop. Now, there is a certain kind of panache to, like, the cockiness of when a film or TV show will like hype something up that like fucking sucks. There's like nothing to it. Yeah. The end of like, um, the Green Lantern.

Sinestro. Oh, right. Yeah. There's loads of superhero ones. Yeah. It's mostly superhero ones, for sure. Um, are there any video game ones? Half like three?

No, that's the opposite. I think that might actually happen. there's a there's like a theory that it's going to be the um the steam machines release game no fucking way no fucking no absolutely not why not there's no fucking way why not um because there's no fucking way don't do that to me don't say that don't do it don't give me help don't give me help Half-Life 3 is the opposite. Half-Life 3 is like, you played the ending of,

you played Half-Life Alex. Exactly. Oh, it's, uh... Dude, I cannot tell you what I felt at the end of that game. Euphoria. Dude, I... I've been loving Half-Life for a minute,

you know? And to be, like, living that... In it? And, like, the... Yeah, and, like, the sounds and the music and shit, I was like... Like, I, like, because the game ends like there and I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, right, right. Like, put me back in, put me back in, right, right, you know? Especially when the text popped up saying, Alex will return in Avengers Doomsday.

Yeah. Gordon Freeman will be clapping cheeks in Avengers Doomsday. Did you know, Avengers Doomsday is going to be the first Avengers movie without Black Widow in it? That don't make me sad. Scarlet, come back. I miss you. Give it time. They say pain. They say it lessens in time.

I beg differ. These cringy after-credit scene things teasing what's next. Yeah. It's gone so far that I've noticed that... Because I tend to just... just kind of like run out of the theater the second that I was like directed by I'm like I'm gone I'm not even if there is no I don't care I'm gone

you know what sorry to interrupt you but again another anti anti-hype one and I'm not I'm gonna say this isn't like a spoiler and you should have seen it already Superman um we stayed for like the first after credits yeah and the first after credits is just Superman sitting on the moon with his dog yeah and i fucking that made me so hype for the rest of the dc you that they wanted it's like it like that was a statement it's like we're not doing this uh-huh you know it was it's like this this isn't like you've just watched a movie you know

and it's nice to have a little extra nugget you know because there was another one but it's like a joke it's like it shouldn't be used as part of advertisement then like then you're the reason you're watching the movie is just to see Harry Stiles and his little Gremlin at the end, you know? I want to see Kumail Nimjiani be utilised and

he fucking got shredded and he's in the movie for like five minutes. Why does why does Kumil only ever get fucking five minutes in a film? It really, yeah, that was, that Eternal's one really became like a parody of itself like, yeah.

Like, what are we doing? Yeah, also. like they the fact that it's like the after credits was like look at this guy and it wasn't look at this character yeah it was look it's Harry Styles with a little green with fucking redacted

hey guys that would have been fucking hype yeah that would have been out of control if he's in Avengers but that's what was crazy like I saw like Marty Supreme which obviously isn't going to have like a mid-credit scene I get up when it ends

Everyone else is like waiting And they're like looking around the room And they're like waiting for it Like the reveal It's like The movie's over dude Like Yeah they've been conditioned

Yeah To just have a worse time Oh but it makes you watch the critic No everyone's got their fans out Yeah They're just talking to each other Yeah Well like another one

Um Do you remember the amazing Spider-Man too? Oh my God What a fantastic, Paul. When they're going through the facility and it's like dog box arms. The scorpions, ding-o, whatever. Oh, my God, I'd love to see the dark shit that we would have done with it. Venom's taint.

Yeah, Craven's fucking back hair. Craven's bullsack. Eerie, aye. Hello, I'm Craven, lad. Why are movies so shit? I don't watch movies anymore. They fucking suck. No, I hate that narrative.

No, they suck, dude. They don't. Yeah, they do. Name one good movie. Free guy. Check, mate. Check. Free guy hate is growing.

Really? Yeah. I've noticed even Deadpool hate is growing. People are turning on the scumbag. Guess what? We were ahead of the curve. again can we can we talk about briefly now that it's

like we're we're quite late in the episode so yeah we can talk about anything now yeah yeah um I was thinking about this when we were doing the Patreon segment you were fucking ahead on the Charlie shit you fucking you saw that in the stars isn't that really quite weird

yeah something was like speaking through you when and you talk about this like we're all connected and stuff it's like yeah you are that's crazy Crazy. Because that was way before. Way before. And it, like...

I didn't even know who he was. I think the weird thing now is if you go back and listen to you, like, during your Charlie era. Yeah. Like, if you listen to that now, it'll be like, oh, he's meming on Charlie. Right, yeah, yeah. That's what it would sound like. Uh-huh. That is really fucking weird.

Yeah. And, like, all the Patreon names that, like, Charlie Milk, best Charlie. I love Charlie Milk It's like, what the fuck And it wasn't just the Charlie XEX thing No, it was like pre that It was pre that, yeah Because we did do the Charlie episode

Yeah, yeah, yeah Weird man That is a really weird one It's a weird one Charlie? Charlie Foof Yeah, Charlie Foof, that was it right? Mm-hmm

We are Charlie Foofoof Wow Crazy work, man. I just kind of see a little bit of the future now and again. You clearly did. But in a way that's really not useful to me now. Or anyone. Where the fuck were you, Jaden?

Where were you, Charlie? I enjoyed that bit. The devil in hell. Where you been, Charlie? Where you got- damn been, Charlie? We could have used you. world's gonna shit Epstein should have caught that bullet

right I think we've done it bro I think we have anything else to wrap this this guy up I kind of gotta do a poop gotta do a poop I'm gonna sit on the toilet

my butt hole's gonna open up and feces is gonna drop into the water splash my butt hole a little bit splash yeah no my poops are always dance enough to cause enough splash to get my butt hole a little wash. You're having a good amount of fiber then, bro.

My mind's more of like a... Drop a stone into a puddle and see the mess it makes. Mine's more like you ever unplugged a block ring. The mesh. Takes me a minimum of an entire toilet roll to wipe. that's why i've got a bolt by you seen the wisdom that's like um uh it takes three wipes to know you only needed two um but it always takes at least one wipe to know that you didn't need any you know that's smart that's philosophical i fucking butchered it but um

the sentiments there and that's what like It's like knowing is important, you know? Yeah. I was stranded in Swindon yesterday. And I went in to... Did you poop? No, I didn't do a poo, but I went into a bathroom. Yeah.

Cubicle. To do a peepee, to do a little wee. In a cubicle. In a cubicle. And the state of it... I went into one and looked at it. It was like, fuck this. I do not like...

Yeah. No, I'm getting at what you're getting at. I went into another. one and it was like it was bad but not as bad as the previous one and I was like fine I'll we on the poo I'll we on the fucking I love weeing the poo off yeah so I started I made a game of it yeah I was just thinking like who like what was the person who left this what were they eating oh good what what are they doing yeah what like what are you doing daily where you're going into Swindon and you're you're leaving

you're dropping these bombs yeah you're fucking Netanyahu or Trump Venezuela's getting it too yeah yeah but but not only that you're also just leaving it it like you don't yeah you feel like nothing you feel no embarrassment

you feel yeah that's the craziest bit to me because like I would like if I was stuck with a massive shit that wasn't flushing or ever and it was just a state i'd be like fuck like what do i do and then like the schemes come out look i'm gonna have to cut this short because like the more we're talking about poop the more i've got to go is it actually that it's like it's stuck yeah it's like i don't know if it's like a food thing you know like when you're hungry and you're like yeah yeah cheese yeah cheese with some

cheese that's crazy oh yeah i got a poop thank thanks for watching everybody yeah 10 years 10 years of poop. Tony's of poo. Pooh, we. You know how it is. Crazy. It melted through it like the melted music melted through my heart like the melted. That's my, that's my faction.

We're the melted. Do you want to know what my faction is? Where the Chinese plants? Chinese money plants, baby. I got hundreds. You know what they say? Money don't grow on trees. trees.

The Chinese money plants do grow. They're not trees, but they're plants. Money doesn't grow on Chinese money plants. They do, though. They look like discs, coins. Kind of like Sonic the Hed sharks' coins. He likes to collect.

I mean, rings. Senator, I'm from China money plant. Does Sonic collect cock rings? Yeah. My cock rings. Help! I'm all out of cock rings. That's my impression of...

That's when you truly die. That's Shadde. Sonic, you're out of the cock rings, correct? Sonic, I need to borrow some of your cock rings. I'm about to eat that chick filet. I'm about to eat that chick fillet. Ken. Ken.

I'm about to eat all the chicken fillets. Are we going to do... Are you going to go first or second? I'll go first. I want to go first. I can convert to smart chips. What? Bottom right, convert to smart chips.

Oh, yeah. Just stop. It's like a data snack. Want a digi chip? Yeah. You can absorb the information through your tastebugs. Try Gemini. Oh.

Hey Google. Sucker my bell. Hey Gemini, eat my ass. Would you prefer if I sucked your bell? Or eat your ass. Either will be awesome. Neo! Where are you?

Stop hiding. I can flip a coin. That's always the fairest way of things. No, I want to go first. Well, yeah, you can go first then. I don't, now that you've given it up so easy. No, I will go first. Oh, okay.

For what? That can be the little, like, Patreon, jingle. It's kind of like that bit and wicked where they go, I see the people. I think you crossed wires there a little bit. You know what? I really think I'm going to cry this episode.

Okay. With all that said, welcome to the Patreon section where we have to read your, I'm going to say, they're horrendous. Your horrendous names. Homunculus kind of names. Yeah, they're like They're like ethereal Um

cringe They're like They're like uh They're to drop the C word They're cosmic horror Yeah they're cosmic horror They're um What's the E word?

E-word. E-Wrecked. They're erect horror Um So anyway Without any further ado I'm gonna extend my My enormous thank you's

To um With no further ado Let's just go straight into this I'm going to go straight into this and say huge thanks to going straight into this, straight into the first one being open bracket, dead, close bracket, Goku, Sonic, open bracket, pool, close bracket. Absolute Martian Melf Hunter. Act Zero Light underscore.

A cottage cheese demon. Adam Johnston. Advocate for more chances. Aiden Kahn, thank you. A.J. Simeon's. Alex, give Jim a wink, he'll know what it means. That was a blink. Alexa, cancel Patreon subscription.

Al-Gameneween fan. Ali Motamed. And a very quick shout-out to Slitplunge, 1997. An Orlandis. That's a good one. That is a good one. Another transgender lesbian jarling has hit the POSDact Patreon. Let's go.

Apples are nice. A real codfish. Arid the robot. Trapped in the Smello Dimension. Around the head, a dick create. Autumn loves Effie. Open bracket. I am Susie Delta Rune.

IRL. Close bracket. Avie Munt. Babobel. The Tottenham Rumbler, aka naughty knobhead. Baby Rick's final... Have to laugh.

Backfire. Barnyard Ben. Bart Ender. Open bracket. Homer, close bracket. Battered penis shelter. Beast in disguise. Bean Vince since the quince winced. Be wheezed.

Ben Quadranaros does Michael Jackson thriller. Benjamin Quadrangle Narcissist. Big Joe. Big Boreb. Big whoops. Bill Hader. gaming, aka cooler, older man, aka iPhone, iPad, iPone, i boom, boom smack. That's a goody.

Binky, round binkle genre. Biscuit. Bo Bunchy McRuncy. Boom bam, bit bop, bibble bog, bum bum. Bore gullet. Bradley Walsh is a plonker. Hashtagg tipping point gang. Breeze

Brodo Radins Brovity is the soul of Brit Bubbles Pony 1 Bumper Munch Burger I got to shout out the bees here because they were cracking They were cracking bees

Kagha KM Calam J Quick Carl Wegener Charlie Charlie Kirky Perky. Okay, seize off to a strong start. Charlie milk is best Charlie, all praise Charlie.

Chili Mayo. Carmiara. Chugging butt clum. Coochman. Cool man chew. Cordelius Kirkland. Cosney Magandall. Counting or not counted.

Gang violence. Cumbria Bob big cum pants. Okay. current owner of the prestigious comment barrel, Cyberwire sketch, Danny G, the dog peeler, Darth Jar Jar, help me, I'm in the jar car.

Dave, Dave Face, Defiant Jazz, Dexter the serial killer, versus Agro, Doctor One Foot's Travel, Travis Scott with prep time. Did you miss these rhymes when I was gone? As you listen to these crazy tracks, check them stats. Then you know where I'm at.

And Dobby the House Milf. Dobby X-Porni. Dobby X-redacted slow burn fanfic. Dobby's gynecological mishaps. Dobby's knobby. Dobby. com. Don't ask me what my social security number are back.

Don't at Dr. James House. Dr. Deluxeau. Shibangu. Sorry, Dr. Deluxeolo Shabangu. Dream House. Dream Offel 2142. Dunk. Dill, Dill, Dill, Dill. Name so six, you say it six.

Eating Dobby's Jiner at Gobby's Diner. Eby. Elliot Shinton. Ernest hunts down and slaughters the six-seven kid. Every time you listen to Jarr, I get one inch taller. Evil Squidwood Poo-Poo Jarling X-Gen 25 Fagary Gary Gary Fapping and clapping it's happening

Laping up sap that have splat on the mat And the substance is masculine Fat obese Fent Shitto and the quest for the 12 Burks Sorry that said Fent Shitto Did I say Fent or fat? I think I said Fent I think I said fat

Finn Arthur's Foof Does this trolley take us to Charlie Futty talk is dead Gial talk instead Facing the polycule to watch Jarr Frankenlotta Freddy the Pornamor

Frisco Gabe Mool Gebby of the Boreal Valley Goblinora Golden Wing 114 Gumba Got my wanker stuck in my

PS5 And it snapped enough Five stars on Wanker boxed. Grant Connor. Great days. Gremblow. Grogu Fan Club Discord

Mod. De Gertrath, Basra, Givengans. Ham. Harper Owen. Harriet Broadly. Horse meat and Christ meat

and pimple meat and wankers meat and man meat, sausage. Open bracket. Yamo, close bracket. I'm a mere egg. Argy has but hidden me away

Shall one be crushed Between jaws of greed Or spared another arduous day I promise you a thousand year Goon Sesh guided by compassion I remember you was conflicted Misusing your fleshlight Sometimes I did the same

Abusing my sex toy full of sperm Spurn that I shit and fart Then bitch and bark It gets dark I've never spoken to grue But I know he hates you Iq far segan naq swindon

If you would just get up and tease them Instead of handing them a freaking pack at you There's kids in here who don't learn like that If you see something strange When you're on the range Don't go to that thing It could bite or sting Igno Scaramus

In the Dimension Infineerdi In I Bobat I ing i i i oboeu Innocent weirdo Input three Italian stallion It's only Moz

I've become Perfectly done JDXO Jambollae Gambalaya James James caused the third impact James May

Chugging a slush puppy The 40X experience James Rosell JAR Media Babies The video game rated M for Mama Jarm Media January word of the month

smorgas bored good word Jeffrey Alceraph Jigman Beppers Jim and Alex try to remember the basics of CQC Jimmy Foresman Joe Jackson

Joel Stewart Join your local Antifa Josh Tenet And Jules Wow I got to take back what I was saying earlier on These are like the least cringe batch of names we've had yet

Yeah these are good ones Yeah So big thanks to... Let's get one to start off with. Just one smack. Cactus 2651. Kakihara. Kennedy Friedo.

Candirius Lopez. Kuno Lois Forced Skin. Kuta Panda. Couson the Don. El Nordin. La Pical. Lagoon 22. Lazy Maisie born eveninger forced morninger.

Lego Nightwing's juicy booty. Lewis Dean. Looks and smells fine. Louis Grail or Louis Lourie Morton luck Lucy loves Jackie slimy moo-moo-mimey addition Lucy ties in Asian anal queen magat night mangrey Mary Machia Pilates in ball before the booboo rave sleigh that's Bali Bali oh yeah sorry Bali in Bali um mazalim Andy MC Cracken 99

Minecraft. Melvin, Melvin, brother of the Joker. Misa, Misa, Wanawanga. Micah. Mimiyori. Minga on my mind got my tech nine. Masato Katsuragi listening to crazy goblins. Moonlight. Mr. Fingers.

Oh. Mr. Neibone, Modo Wallace. My name is Thai boy Gune and my balls make bed for Willie. My name Jeff. Narborough the human cigarette. Ninnin'in'in noodle. nude gargoyle Number one ever grace fan

Occasional ruin Odious That said rain Rain Odeus Oghuri cap Ooi no boy Roy My coy is not a toy

One cat, one dog One chud One chants Only shallow Only that it holds the power To create worlds Only jarling that lives at Coordinates 3.3.460

170 Oe-Gooey-Gooy Fridays Oracle John Oscar the original porny hater I just want to flush redacted down a toilet die

redacted die particularly awesome wavy noodle Yankee redacted balls perfectly um Pearl slug Pearl Steven Universe

binked diped and venomized peeing and pooing this very thing that they be ruining a mass byproduct that I be stewing could be a fart

or you undo pen island XDD Perkvrat Quadrat Perfectly redactis Perfectly redacted Give us redacted

Perfectly done for ever and ever We miss you P Phoebe The number one mendicant bias Appreciator Place holder Muck Patreon name Poo's sick in my wee eyes

bugger ears Portal gun bum fun Hashtag never forget People killing people dying Venomized RICO, Dave and Brian. Pussy Grips is online. Quetzal-coatus, Northropy. Quote.

Rafterman. Ras Ruh, remand, Ramey. Raven, 419. Raz, number one, Susie Deltoroon fan slash lover of Wyatt and Sloan. Razy Roblins, razy, razy, razy, razy, racy, racy, Roblins.

Redacted will return in broadcast season 18. Welcome to the Resistance, Rats. Renamized Matt, Edge, world's biggest pair, bomb, paper, baby, porny, loy, quadrenaro's, Harry Tesco, Pants, OK, fan. Renamised ruster rugs, renamised rotter, rutt. Rade, Rai, Remy, Rowan, Rites, renamised Ruby Rleshlight. Rayan, Relyt, Relyt is fucking crazy.

Rett's red, rotted, Ratted, Ratted, Raleigh. in rear rev rich girl grabbing on my meat she's stake hold of liquefying all my seats stay sober finish at your mom call that layover Rick ran wroughty rollo rollo rha rhaerstrin Riley Cosmia real I am ringo rango Rango star wanks on all four that's classic ringworm girl row Rormall Roo's rock rhod rock Bruce Rock, Rurt Rard Rock

Rory Ravin Rasrin Rookavard Rosa Randerson Rydio Rame Ararissus Rorytis Roryndricks Rontorak Ronarer

Salad 492 Sblob Scrapped, Scribble Seafood Several gay rats In a trench coat Schnaught

Sick on my dick Simsy sketch screen S KJ Kara slam dunk Cosmos Slimy Bill Sneaky Trickster Some sort of non-descript patron

sort of name Sonic's poignant slime Splink Sucking a big Big Fat back up your ass Super Crunches The assassination of Angry Joe by the coward

Doug Walker The back neck The gender fluid cow from Barnyard. The gelking jarling. The other Finnish jarling. The Poo Man. The Portuguese.

Giza. The sea is all I know. The smirking smiler. The blimp fruit. They then, Melvin, sibling of the woker. Thomas Amy Griffin. Toby Reed. Tom Baranick.

Tom Wyss. Tony O'S Welt. Travis King. Tyler Jogan, the creator, Rogan. UK accent tier list. When boys, I'm waiting. Unwashed reptiles. Venomized Paulbert Lynxley.

Venomized Benjamin. Venomized KFC Dillth. Venomized Rico de Brian. Venomized Sloan McKenzie, the original party worm, Remy, Ram, Ram, Rosal, Vincent Earl, Weekly Voyager.com. Welcome to the JAR Media Blood. Welcome to MythBusters.

Can you milk a mormit? White boy go crazy. Windar. Windydrick. No, woke didrick. Would be splendid if I had some meatballs. You know, I always thought Namalsi was kind of ridiculous, so I wrote a podcast about it.

There goes a little something like, yawn mower, Zach Norquist, Sodiac Ratman. Thank you, everyone. That was every name on the Epstein list. Perfectly done. Wow, we did it.

Thank you, everybody. Hip, hip. For January patron. Super stuff, guys. Well done. Thank you. continues to have the most challenging time, I think. Yeah, yeah.

I've got to shout out those bees, though. They were on fire. Yeah, they were good. That's all fire. Yeah. Yeah, thank you so much, guys. Thank you so much. It means a lot to us, you know?

A lot of soul. A soul that a heart. It even makes me fight. A lot of soul, a lot of fight. It even makes me fight. Ugh!