JAR Media Posdact - 2,5000 Dogs Pooyooping - JARCAST Episode 141

Episode Date: November 26, 2018

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia

Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to episode 141 of the JARMedia POSD Act. I'm your host, Alex. I'm joined to my right, my immediate right, by Jim. What's up? Nice, nice intro there, Jim. And to my other further right. James.

James. Who is there? And he is there. Before we go into the show, just the, what do you call it, bookkeeping, housekeeping, I don't know, whatever. If you listen to us on iTunes or Spotify, that's made possible by the kind people on Patreon. So head over to the JAR Media Patreon. There are links in the description and all about Patreon, just search JAR Media and you'll find us for that one. So thanks for all those people.

Anyway. we're here everybody yo what is up let's do our little jar wrap that we always do yo what's up everybody I'm here to say that we're jar media best podcast today

game on that was sick I used to be like a breakout thing yeah we're making content on our content making platform I feel very nice because I've got a new jacket

It was a lovely jacket. Those listening won't be able to see it, but just imagine the most epicest jacket you've ever seen. And then there is. The opposite of that. Oh! Jim trolling me earlier. Sending James messages saying,

I've got this new jacket makes him look gay, man. Hey, I would never say that. I'm pro-gay rights. He didn't say you look gay. He just said you're a gay boy. It's a bit different. Nothing wrong with that. No, you know?

Absolutely. In fact, I'm actually proud. Like a gay boy is a good thing. It means you're well-groomed, you know, you're just awesome around. That's kind of homo-racist or whatever you call it. Yeah, it's probably a bit homo-racist, but here at JAR, we're a number of things, including that. I don't think we are. We're not homo-racist.

You just called us homo-racist. Oh shit. Delete. You're throwing us in the frying-pan, Alex. Anything considerate happen in the last time since you recorded? Over the last week, there's been many things that have happened. What is wrong with you? You sound like you're a corpse over there.

It's because I'm... I've had an illness. You have an illness. What illness? I've just had it. A cold. You got the man flu. I've got the man flu.

I couldn't talk yesterday, but today... Although not a polar bear... today I'm good and I can talk and I am absolutely fine but this week has been a very big week for many things being those being things Americans aren't going to care about because it's just English politics and how bad drugs it is well we're not going to talk about that so don't worry about that

jam yeah um that was quite scary but listen I've been ascending to an ethereal state as of recent

yeah okay yeah James how do you sleep okay I sleep I get into bed normally you know wearing underwear

because I don't wear clothes because that's stupid um you know plug in the eye part the headphones into the iPad hit up you still have that original iPad

the iPad's going fucking strong That is a fucking brick. You know how many times that's been like thrown against walls and just like kind of abused. That's brilliant. Every single day it pops up saying your eye cloud hasn't been synced in like 400 days, but

that's going strong. But yep, plug into my SMR, pool sleep, do them, done. So James listens to SMR. Will know what I do? Yeah. My sleep schedule goes as follows. I usually go and do a poo. Then I...

go into my bedroom I chuck on my I've got one of those lamps where you hold to the button and it kind of simulates the sun going down chuck on my lamp um pull back my sheets

just wriggle in bed wriggle on in then I do that thing where I just kind of sit on my on my knees and sort of stretch you sit on your knees yep

then I just stretch out and oh mama I just go crazy then I then on my iPad instead of putting on ASMR I put on what's the app called I can't remember

Oh it's basically a SMR It's not at all I remember you used to always listen to some app like rain Rainy mood.com Yeah is my go to before but now I just have an app

that has that feature, so... Well, ditching rainy mood. I'm ditching rainy mood because you need internet for that. With the app, you can just play it whenever you want, wherever you want. Okay. And then I have no trouble going to sleep.

Well, I've... Since I can remember, I have had trouble with sleeping. Not sleeping, but getting to sleep. Getting to sleep, the process of winding down. I've always moved from my right side to my left side to my right side. Just thinking, like, about stuff like New Vegas, what I'm going to do in New Vegas the next day.

But anyway, um, so I'm, I'm just browsing old YouTube before doing the dishes the other night. And I see a video, how to fall asleep in two minutes. Hmm. Navy approved, army approved, legit strategy. Two minutes. That's crazy. Two minutes. Okay.

Okay. So what you do is, you have to live. lie flat on your back. Yeah. And why are you looking at me like this? Because I'm really intrigued. I'm interested in my eyes. Because I've seen those stuff and it's all right.

That's a load of shit. That can't work. I didn't think it was a load of shit. I just thought this, I mean, this might work. It might not. Whatever. I'll, I'll give it a go. So you lie on your back and then you focus on your face, relaxing your face.

And like, if you feel on your forehead that you're, frowning while lying in bed, you relax your forehead. If you're sort of straining your eyes to like keep them closed, you just relax your eyes, etc, all over your face. Then you do your arms. Make sure your shoulders are low down and your arms are all relaxed. And then same with your legs. Does this video, do you watch the video to do it? Does it go? No, no, no. I just watch the video once. Now you know how to do it. Yeah, it's simple as. And then once you're in this relaxed state you cast your mind off to a boat on a lake okay on a clear summer day and then you're just there right lying down looking up at the sky yeah and um every time your mind

wanders you say in your head don't think so you're just wiping away everything from your brain and when i first started doing it i'm like no this is fucking bullshit don't think and uh Suddenly you're in a dream going, what that? No, suddenly, like, I feel like I've shrunken inside my own body. Like, I'm a smaller version of myself in my body, right? Like, I'm wearing a suit of my body, and everything has, like, a delay. Like, my thumb touches my leg. Yeah.

My leg doesn't feel it, but my thumb does. Mm-hmm. Now, I've done this for four nights. Not once have I fallen asleep from it. But now I just do it for the experience. Okay. This just solemn... So it doesn't work then for you.

Well, it says none of the, like, Navy men that use this can do it instantly. You've got to do it for like 20 nights in a row until you can start just two minutes falling asleep every time. Ah, okay. Okay. So I'm sticking with it, but honestly, it's entertaining. And the places your mind goes when you're telling yourself not, to think, seem to be way more interesting.

And you also told me on the inverse, you've had trouble waking up. Yeah. Tell the people about this life hack if you still do it or not. So, when you first wake up, the second, like, you're awake, you sit up on your bed, and then you go, yes!

Like, you've just scored a goal in football. and supposedly that helps you feel awake and I think it's a load of horse shit I've done it like three times and then I'm just like I don't lie back to sleep for another four hours that's interesting actually because I would say scientific not scientifically I don't know scientifically soldiers and people are being able to sleep like that is like

something they must be able to do in like a conflict they need to be able to tell them especially important for the Navy because, like, these boats that they have, like, people flying off on, when you're flying a plane, you need to be alert. Yeah. Apparently, some, like, Navy soldiers will sleep for 16 hours a day until they're needed. So whenever they're needed, they're fresh. All right.

They would not get into war and all that. It's just like they need to be at 100% as soon as they get up. Yeah. As soon as they're into it. So they get up and go, yes! And they run to their plane and do that. shoots and Nazis or whatever. Well, that, going back to that thing about going to sleep that way.

I remember maybe year nine, year ten, everyone was talking about lucid dreaming. Yeah. Remember that? It's all, it is a similar way you do it, isn't it? You have to lie on your back, go completely limp. And you're not supposed to not move anything? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's, that's what you end up doing there with this strategy, and it is really quite

strange what I find really weird specific to me when I try to imagine myself on this boat I can't not imagine the boat tipping and me falling into the water really or just imagining a boat on some water I can't not see it tip yeah but there are I can't remember in the video the the other one is you're in a hammock in just a pitch black room like a black velvet hammock um that reminds me of um hypnotherapy? Because like a year or two ago I went to hypnotherapy

therapy when I was like extra stressed or whatever to see what it was like and it was kind of similar to that the concept is it's not like you know the Pokemon hypno with his stopwatch or whatever the idea is to sort of get you into a relaxed

state distract your mind and then sort of reprogram your subconscious mind that does most of the things you do in a day so you know when you're driving a lot of the time is subconscious you're not thinking about changing every gear changing pedal from

brake to accelerate and those little details things like that as an idea unless you're James of like a subconscious mind they definitely are subconscious to me well how about a subconscious detail when driving would be you know off by heart the way to get home from work yes you don't even have to think about it that's that's

your subconscious mind taking taking charge because it doesn't it doesn't need to waste brain power doing it because it just knows um so yeah that's kind of similar to what I experienced with that as well yeah and the the most annoying thing about the strategy for me so far is that I feel myself getting really close to falling asleep I remember when I tried to lose a dream it was the same thing like right there but then your mind starts to trail again and you're like don't think but it's never enough i've never really had a problem with sleeping this thing like i just recently what i've been doing is like i go to bed quite early now i just lay in bed listen to a smart and it's just like you just close your eyes it just happens if you don't think

about i think i've ever really had much trouble there was i think there was a time i was when I was doing a lot of sort of video editing later night and stuff. But then I discovered that app called Flux, fLUX, or something. A lot of, like, phones, a lot of, like, phones, and I think Windows does it now anyway. But it kind of dims the screen as the sun sets, so the light isn't as piercing off a bright white monitor. So if you're on, like, a Word document or whatever, it's not blinding in the day. of night and sort of hurts your eyes if it's like 11 o'clock and the sun should be in. It's very, very interesting thing though. Like, I reckon, um, the secret to being able to fall

asleep is being physically tired in some way. If you're physically tired, if you've gone for like a huge walk or whatever, have you been busy, you tend to just want to be like, god damn, I'm tired. Kind of shit, but I found out a crazy fact The other day Yeah, about, it's a complete tangent It's nothing to do with any of this Okay

To do with, um, astronauts Okay, but I never, I'd never considered So apparently When you're in space, obviously There's no gravity pulling you down Um, when you're in a spaceship, you know, a space station or whatever Um

so your bones aren't all being held down to the ground so you gradually sort of stretch when you're in space so you actually get a bit taller while you're in space yeah yeah so astronauts actually have to build their suits a slightly bigger to make space for when they stretch in space that little bit I watched a video recently that was like 10 facts yeah about astronauts that might be true might not and this real astronautism

and that was one of them because people thought that when you stretch in space and then come back to earth you stay stretched like every time you go to space you become taller and taller but no it's obviously because it's not yeah there's nothing

squidging you together that's nuts man I reckon sleeping in space going back to sleep would not be easy because you've got to strap yourself into that thing It's like it's like a fucking um sleeping bag just strapped to a wall Yeah And you just got to get into it

How can it's not like the closest against your skin though It's like I don't know how to do it must be very weird It must be like sleeping while falling You know that weightless feeling Yeah I mean just just the idea of being in Zer gravity is incomprehensible enough anyway yeah and you can't do that tactic that I just said so astronauts are fucked you can't lie on your back and yeah

because you can be lying on your back but be in the air upside down I reckon it'd be super fun though to be in zero it's just like your bedroom is like a fucking cubicle you got your wall you've got like a few things that just kind of fucking nail down you can look at I saw that movie First Man, like a few months ago or whatever. And it sort of touches upon how physically robust you have to be to be able to withstand so many things about space. You have to be like peak physical condition.

You have to be mentally so put together. Because there's like a scene. There's no spoilers or anything. But they put you in those like G-force things where you're like sat in it spins you around yeah yeah like fighter pilots do as well yeah yeah that kind of thing and it's just I could never do it it looked insane and and in the event that something really bad happens you have to be able to control really complex equipment while spinning around like a maniac there wasn't there something like um I don't know if you guys said this but like

you have to like fix a problem in like one breath otherwise you just you fucking die that's it yeah it's like how how do how can anyone comprehend that oh this really this This hyper-advanced fucking rocket is about to explode. I need to do something. I've got one. I wonder how these professions like being a pilot or an astronaut or whatever. You have to be so, we have to be so patient and so calm in the most stressful situations.

Does one learn that kind of skill, or are they just naturally born with it or what? No, I would say, I think things like patience and stuff, it's kind of learned through experiences, really. like now I'm I can be incredibly calm when shit's going long but I don't know how I'm like that but it's just kind of it's like imagine if you're an astronaut and you've never been into space and it's your first time going in to like you've done the simulations

but it ain't like the simulations because it's real you know and your life is in sometimes in your habit like in charge of other people's lives as well like based on what you can do that's why they do the amount of training that they do they're not going to send someone up there that's doubting themselves in any way nutty man you have to be a certain breed of human to be able to do that shit

like you have to be born without any issues in terms of confidence or anything like that to be able to just be able to handle the pressures from it I would not be a good fucking astronaut I don't think any of us from JAR Media would be good astronauts no I would no Jim could

but I'd be like they'd fucking drift it boys who you can't not drift in space It's a fucking perfect drifters land There's no feedback there It's just Well no because if a spaceship's kind of moving that way It's like woo

So we wanted to talk about this Funny thing that happened in the UK Yep This comes from It does come from the Daily Mail Which obviously is An awful tabloid newspaper So take this with a grain of salt I suppose

but the dog accused of a hate crime after fouling outside a home this is a really badly phrased article doesn't surprise the dog accused of a hate crime after

listen this the dog dog in capitals accused of a hate crime after fouling outside a home in just one of this is unbelievable this is actually unbelievable

like trying to read this headline it says outside a home in just one of two comma 5,000 cases did they mean 2,500 cases? Let me see Look that is an absurd I'm going to have to find another one I can't believe how poorly written that is

what does that even mean? What does it mean two out of... Look James this is the A daily mirror. Yeah, I actually, I was... I'm not being a goober. There was 2,500 cases in...

That's a bigger number. Yeah, that's 2.5,000. That's 25... That comma is in the wrong place. That comma, that's not a number. Is that a typo? Is it supposed to be 25,000 or two in 5,000? I'd say that's a typo.

Oh, it might... No, no, it, yeah, it's... It's supposed to be 2,500. But they just fucked up colossally. They put 2,000-5,000. Just pretty... I'm gonna go on the mirror one instead. Dog accused of racist hate crime

for fouling outside a house. It's not hard, daily mirror. Yeah. Or the other one, whatever. They're all the fucking same, aren't they? The unfortunate canine is one of 2,500 alleged hate crimes investigated over two years by the Metropolitan Police. Yeah, that other one was a type of 8,200, yeah. The dubious allegations...

I'm like, this is unreal, how bad their grammar is. The dubious allegations, uh, was investigated by the police in 2015 and 20s. Who writes this shit? Do you not even need to get like GCS? No, we've actually noticed that quite a lot recently of newspaper articles are just fucking, I could do better and I failed English.

Anyway, the point is a dog did a poo on someone's and someone's lawn. It's a bit of glass. Was it someone's lawn? It's outside someone's house. They went to the police and... They went to the police and... Said it was a hate crime. Yeah, said it was a hate crime.

I say there's two issues here. There's a person who owns a dog and the person who reported it. The person who reported it, must be some hyper-lefty if they're reporting a dog for hate crime. Well, yeah, because it's... Straight-ah, that's ridiculous. It's not like there isn't already a law that's supposed to claim that that that's an illegal act. It's like a thousand-pound fine.

It's a fucking massive, fucking law. You know what I mean? So instead of just getting that person done for that law, they made it about waste. A dog did a poo, and that's a racial incident. Who were they saying did the hate crime, though? dog. The dog and not... The dog was charged. The dog for doing something that it's just instinctively

needs to poo. Okay. I think... personally I would say it's not the dog's fault. It's the person who owns it's for. The person who knows it should have picked up the poo. But I mean, either way it's not a hate crime. No, it's not a hate crime. The dog's not doing it. There's a bit more detail, should I read it? Yeah.

In the dog fowling incident, the log read, an unknown dog has fouled outside a victim address. And victim perceived this to be a racial incident in another case it was suggested a barking dog was a hate crime police wrote suspect's dog barking at victim I didn't realize dogs had the intellectual capacity to be able to even perceive what a hate crime is or even act on such they're colorblind anyway this is clearly this is clearly

very telling of our society if people are actually thinking dogs can be wasted We have some strange laws in the UK What to do this Just things like this It's like That's, you can't charge a dog for a hate crime though Dogs can't hate But what's

What's the definition of a hate crime Well, it's not a dog taking a poop Does a hate crime not Is it's not already covered by a different type of law anyway. Because if you, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a hate crime that ends in some kind of violence, then it's already going to be charged as, yeah, being, you know, an assault or whatever.

From all the hate crime is a crime motivated by racial, sexual or other prejudice. Right. The dog can't be prejudice. So, but what defines, you know. So it's, it's like if I, it, it says that it's normally violent. So if I, it's slapped. just a random person and it was believed that it was because they were a woman

okay then that would be a hate crime but it's also but yeah that also is yeah that's why I don't understand why do you need two laws for the same thing for more maybe it makes it more severe yeah

I don't fucking know I ain't no cop it's a very difficult thing to sort of apply law to like people can verbally say whatever they want as horrible as it may be yeah but we don't have the freedom of speech you we don't have a freedom of speech law no and that's well if you say something hurtful is a hate crime I suppose so do you think it's better to just have a freedom of speech law I think it's necessary I think people are a bit too quick to jump on the the government should

should tell us what we can and can't say sort of thing, you know, with a hate crime law. It's a bit like, okay, obviously the hateful people deserve some kind of, I don't know. Yeah, but I mean, when it comes to speech, I think the, I mean, especially nowadays when you can just record someone being racist towards someone else, their justice should be that being put on the internet. And then it will be harder for them to get a job. Yeah, so I don't see why the government necessarily has to take action when their entire life will just be ruined anyway if it's that prevalent, if you know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't know, it's a tricky one anyway. I only see when it comes into force when there's, like, people out there where, you know, we do have it in our society where there's, like, there's extremists. And these people basically, you know, recruit for their extremism by basically hate crimes. Like, they should be, that's when the law should be, enforces when this person is actually causing danger and influencing thousands of people from

their hate that's that's when it should be an issue and it should be a legal or where you're going to jail not little things which are just kind of nothing it's just like statistics are very hard to break down because it's like if there are 2,500 alleged hate crimes um from the freedom of information request is what that data is from but how many of those are like real serious like

it's just such a strange nebulous concept to try and apply law to it's subjective so one person may think something is way more severe than another which is the point of laws to make it concrete but if you can just call anything that law isn't concrete at all no yeah where where does

when does that kind of thing begin and end is my question yeah like if you treat is it a hate crime to call someone who's like really overweight like fat or something is that well if you think dot taking a poo is apparently a hate one like that is so so loose and there are other ones like there are other examples in this article like um blah blah blah including an envelope that had been opened and resealed. That was a hate crime apparently. A disputed line call in a tennis match was a hate crime

and a dead rat found in a garden. It was a hate crime. Police also logged a man telling library staff he was campaigning for Brexit and an accident involving a car that bore a remembrance poppy. We're all hate crime. It just seems like there's a lot,

there's quite a few cases where it's just like people use it as an excuse to kind of for because they can like with those guys in America for that what was it what restaurant was it where they refused to be served and they pulled out the race card Chipotle yeah it was in Chipotle

like that instant that that's something completely separate but my only opinion is on that is that it shows how society is if a company's it's giving power to something that shouldn't inherently have like that isn't some companies supposed to investigate into it instead of just

fuck off oh we're back we're in the wrong oops yeah man That's the power of race now. And that, and I'm just going to stretch that, that's a privilege if you use your ways to try and get other people fucked. So just to add to that a bit, if you've seen what else has been in the newspaper? Um, if we're quick. There was a seven-year-month-old puppy, so you know what puppies do, they buy everything.

It ran away from home and just nipped a police officer, dog was confiscated under Dangerous Dogs Act. There was a massive addition to get a seven-month-old puppy back But that's when they're teething Exactly It's just the amount of bites I got from argue If a cute puppy went up to me If I was a police often bit me I wouldn't

I'd club it I would not fucking confiscate I'd be like Okay he's a puppy He's adorable or stroking on and I'll find his owner I wouldn't fucking confiscate the puppy And it was a chow-chow Which had the really fluffy kind of bull one

So it's kind of cool But yeah. Anyway, this is the part of the show where we answer questions from the JARMedia community. The JARME out there. Salute. Salute. Nice, nice. So I've head over to the JAR Media Reddit and there's a suggestion thread.

You can leave your questions in. The first question comes in from Yummy Anal Rupcher who says, In JARCast 99, Alex talked about how he stopped taking a certain drug, which made him have nightmares memory loss and made him have mood swings. Oh, that's weed. Nope. I wanted to ask if all of those symptoms disappeared since it was 11 months ago.

They're talking about the propranol. Oh, what I have. Yeah, I think we both had a thingy for it. Yeah, you don't take it regularly, though, do you? I don't take it at all. Back then, I was taking, still, like two tablets a day or something. It's anxiety, basically, pill to pelvis. It's actually heart medication.

Yeah, but they use... give it to people who have like sensitive hearts to slow it down yeah to slow it down to be honest i never noticed my heart weight go down with it didn't really do anything it did for me for sure um i haven't taken it for a long time but no i don't have i definitely don't have the nightmares anymore um my memory's never been the greatest anyway um but not not comparative to how it was better um and mood swings I don't know I'm not always moody uh mood swings are kind of a quite a common what's the word well yeah not so that was extreme effect of quite a lot of did you have mood swing you did didn't you yeah but then

massive ones yeah it's horrible would not recommend I I I remember in like school I used to always have moot things didn't I yeah you used to always say that it'll be like He's just being a teenager though, wasn't it? Yeah. Me swings aren't great, but... I had my teenage mood swings when I was like eight. Yeah, you're a pretty laid-back teenager. Jim's been laid back since he was like...

Quite a long... Like eight years, maybe. Sit Comparables asks, Would you rather become the opposite sex, or the opposite sex? or the opposite sexuality. I'd rather be the opposite sex. Wait, so you either become a lesbian or a gay man?

No, isn't you become a girl? For us, you either become a girl or you become straight gay. Yeah, but you become a girl with your same sexuality, so you're, so... No, no, I think... Or do you end up being straight as a girl or straight as a man?

I think you're ever thinking. Yeah, the question is, would you either change sex so you're the opposite or change your sexuality? Yeah, but that's implying if you change sex, then you become gay. No, no. Because then you're still are attracted to women. I don't know what you're talking about.

He's not. How do you not understand what you're saying? I understood it perfectly fine. No, I understand it and you guys don't. So you turn into a girl. Yeah. And then you're attracted to men. No, that's not involved.

It's just... No, but listen, if you remain straight and you turn into a girl, then you will be attracted to men. so either way you're attracted to men okay okay would I either like surely if I if me my brain became a woman tomorrow but then you'd be like women

but then you'd be becoming gay so either way you go gay okay my answer the question is I don't give a fuck like okay if I had to change sexuality or my sex I'd become a girl and that's that's predictable

yeah you've always wanted to be a girl Yeah, I'd quite like to see what it's like to be straight. I'd like, I'd go gay. What if I'm by right now? Then it's just, do you want tits? What? If you're by right now and you become a woman? No, I mean, if I'm bi right now...

Oh, I see for the second bar. And I choose to change sexuality. Do I become straight gay? Bro. Bro. Jim's making it's far more complicated. I don't fucking know. I'd go gay though.

Because then I can pretend to be straight and get a really good job still. What? Are you implied gay people? The straight white men are the most privileged, right? If I change... If you become gay... If... What is Jim?

What is you talking about? power. You're saying gay people No, I'm saying they're discriminated against. What, currently? Yes. So you want to become gay so you can... No, because if I change to a woman,

I can't pretend to be a man. I could, but it would be way too much effort. If I, if I turn gay, then I can pretend to be straight or just not talk about my sexuality. Why are you even saying? I'm pretty sure. What the fuck is he saying, James?

He's gone off the... fucking right you guys just don't respect me i do respect you completely are you unless when you start going on about no but can you agree with me on my first point which was down slowly what your first fucking point was so the choice is between switching sexuality oh my god yes or switching gender exactly where you stay the same right so if you switch gender you're becoming gay no because you if i'm straight now i'd be straight as a woman So you'd be into men. Yes, but I'd be a woman.

So either way, so either way you're attracted to men. You don't have a choice in... That's not becoming gay, though, is it? No. No, it is becoming... What, if you're attracted to women as a woman, that is being gay?

No, we took about... What? If James became a woman, like just became a woman and like guys... Yeah, but then is attracted to women, he's become gay. No, it's like guys.

Because I've been attracted to guys. No, yeah. But what I'm saying is No matter what you choose You're getting a dick up the of the ass What if you don't like anal, yo? Everyone like anal, true What you're basically saying is

No matter what the equation is It always ends in dick With being Attracted to Dick No, we're not We're not disputing that We're disputing Why isn't relevant

It is relevant because What if you want to be attracted to women You have no choice You do have a choice If then you'd be a lesbian No, no Yeah, which means you've turned gay Which means you've changed sexuality

Okay, okay Of three of us here There's three situations, okay Okay, we change sexuality Where then you'd like girls Boys Yeah, boys, okay We'd be attracted to men

Then you can go gay Where you'd like men Or you just don't want to do either And you still like girls So there's a thing you'd want And you're by Then you like both yeah that that's i can understand that if i'm by right now and i go to a girl then whatever

but if i'm straight right now and i change to a woman then i have to turn gay i want to see the transcript of that just to try and understand what the fuck has been said he went off on one to the point that made no sense do you not understand what i'm saying i actually do understand now yeah i did so what we're knowing that with that knowledge which do you choose to become come straight. Right, next question. Mila Vavan says, who are your first owners?

First owners? First owners? What? What is this question? Mine is pyrocynical. What? What's the question? I don't fucking know, yo.

I've been talking about persona. No, it's fur sona. I don't have one. I'm not a furry. No, but what? Oh my God, James. Just if you were a furry, what would your fissona be, yo? Mine would be that.

But you're going to have to explain what that is to those listening. To fucking duck. You'd be a duck. No, I'd be that duck. You'd be that duck. I'd be that duck. You'd be that duck. That's his name.

He's dat. That. These. He's got his YouTube channel, Datto does destiny. I'd be Datto does destiny then. So I become a person. paracynical, Jim becomes that's who does destiny and James, you become

Michael Buebley. Michael Bubele. I suppose he is an animal. Fucking sexy animal, let's be real. Yeah, humans are animals. Why can't I just dress like another person, you? Exactly. Because they're not furry. Some of them. Um, I definitely am.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thou Huddied says Hi, I've been developing a Jarm Media Hotline Miami 2 mod And I'm wondering if you had any ideas For a storyline you'd like to see Thanks boys Okay, so we get lost in the woods

Yeah, someone has to be lost In the woods No, but how does that fit with Hotline Miami Which is like killing people Well we're gonna get there Okay, continue That's the motivation for why The playable character is going someone

James is lost In the woods No because they might not have a skin for the They don't need, we never need to go to the woods But that's where James has lost So we're heading towards So no, it's just James disappears one day We're following his trail and everything is

Indicating that he's in the woods Okay But then what justifies murdering a bunch of people They're following James's trail because they want his Golden Pussy is golden pussy. Basically what we're saying is... James accepted the question and became a woman

and that they're after his golden pussy. So basically what you're saying is... And they will do anything to get that grissy. So basically, James is being hunted by a mafia or something for his golden pussy. And you guys... Yeah, like a gang because they want to use James for...

As a prostitute. Yeah. It's just make fun of money because people can't get enough of the grissy. What's the like opening crawl? You know like in Cobb when you die It's got like a quote Yeah

The Grissy was too powerful Something like that The desire for For Grissy was too powerful Because you would have got killed By the people having the desire What Yes dog

And then it ends with Finding James And he goes Yes dog Yes You get to experience my golden pee. It turns then it turns into I don't know anything about hotline Miami so you never seen gameplay I've seen gameplay soundtrack but like dog so

that's that's a loose framework you can expand yeah so Akpan Studios has a more of a story about I think last episode we talked about how we met someone because he because of Jha right you remember that Nope. I can't remember. You don't remember that? Wait, where? What? Oh, someone met someone. Like a girl.

Oh, right. I thought it meant we met someone. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, you worded that poorly. Yet again, Alex. Yeah, good job, Alex. Sorry, I just write for the daily mirror. Akpan Studios says, the good story continues. Last Saturday, the female and I were at the park just...

Don't call a female that sexist. Last Saturday, the... The person and I were at the park just talking about stuff, and she asked if I wanted... to go to her house and I was like, hell yeah, baby, let's go. And so we went to her house and we are sitting on her sofa and things start getting heated after watching some TikTok memes. I do the classic yawn thing where I put the arm over her while yawning, and she took it well, and we started cuddling. Augie, I swear to Christ!

Started cuddling. Then all of a sudden she asked if she wants us to go to her room and I'm like, all right, cool. So we went out to her room and then we started making out, and afterwards, I can't feel like. of me remember why but I called her my little dibby and she asks what the fuck is a dibby so now I was explaining its history and I started talking about I she and jar so thanks to you not only do I have a GF but I also got a GF who knows about Jara and IH so I'm basically in heaven thanks again Akpan page I'm I'm looking forward to what happens in the trilogy this is this is

becoming one year luck but three years downline there's a baby the jar baby They name the kid, Dibby. Um, yummy anal rupture asks, You, I sure it's the same people ask the same questions. When will, when will Ruben emerge from the crystal dimension?

Um, in like a week. He's holding that goddamn dimension together with the power of his, his, his grissy. Not his grissy. Ruben doesn't have the golden pussy. He's got the,

He's got the golden booty Because he's a twerk His beautiful booty is twerking that dimension Into safety Jesse OS says What's the biggest misconception you had about adulthood You had as a kid? That it's not fucking epic

What, to be an adult? Yeah Would you rather be a child? No My biggest misconception was the diet. The diet? The diet.

You're going to have to expand on that. I thought adults just didn't like sweet things. Or at least not as much. And as a 21-year-old alpha male, I can confirm that that's still delicious. God damn donuts are delicious. Holy f-yuck. I don't think I had, Eddie.

Yeah, you did. I definitely didn't. There's nothing I could think that. was it me or you that thought it must have been me that in sex ed when they taught it a boner was a literal bone going into the willie you told me that to try and fool me i i have a feeling i knew that because in our in our like year six sex ed or whatever they um they asked does anyone have any questions and someone just someone just genuinely asked, is a boner when a bone goes into your willy? It's like a fucking, it's like a gun.

You put it, put the new ammo in, use it, fucking pull out when you're done. But of course, being a year six, I was like, oh, that's a really good question. Is that what dinosaur bones are? They're just the bones that are within the willies of times. That's not adult, that's not like a misconception about adulthood, though. Yeah, it is. You have an erection when you're like fucking eight. Yeah, but you don't understand it.

and it's not that's a misconception of biology not I would say that is a misconception of adulthood no you're completely incorrect no if I'm right say Alex god damn you're right and if Jim is right say

if you're an independent thinker say whatever the fuck you want yeah if Jim is if you think Jim is right say I'm an independent thinker I think what I want shut the fuck up basically basically I'm right. Can you agree with me there?

Yes, basically Jim's right, but at the end of the day, being an adult is fucking epic and I would never go back. Yeah. Shumaloo says, what's your favorite film of the year? Mission Impossible. I watched mine the other day. With gym actually. What was it? I let Jim answer first.

The Halo 3 cutscenes uploaded to YouTube. Nice, nice. Mine is the... So far. I've still got a bunch to see before the year is out. But the new Coen Brothers Western that's on Netflix. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Excellent movie.

It's awesome. It's like an anthology movie, and I normally don't like anthology movies. Not fan of Wreck. I'm not a fan of loads of... Sorry, not Reck. VHS. Anthology movies like that. So I was a little bit worried when I heard about the premise,

but they're all awesome. Yeah. That's my favourite movie of the year so far. What else has come out this year? Mission Impossible. Infinity War. So many films. Black Panther is the second best for me.

Black Panther was last year, wasn't it? Yeah. No, it was this year. No, it was last year. Pretty sure it was the beginning of this year. Yeah, it was the beginning of this year. Hey, Siri, did Black Panther come out this year? 2018, yes.

Oh, fuck. Okay, so the winner is Ant Man and the Wasp. Oh, that film was incredible. God, I loved Ant Man in the Wasp. Make the salt shaker go big. Whoa, that was epic. Yeah. I mean, towards the end of the year, we do the wrap-up of all our favorite stuff anyway,

so we'll elaborate on that more then. I haven't seen anything this year besides Infinity War. I haven't played anything this year either. Well, let's go watch Mission Impossible right now, then. Jingling Jiblo says, Have you ever worried about obsessive fans or letting out too much information about your private life? Mostly the more you tell, the less you have to worry.

Yeah, true. Unless it's like your address. I think it'll be kind of stupid to give you a dress. Yeah, where you live. But like, if they know your first name, the way you look, then people don't tend to really give a fuck. I was quite worried when you were still hiding your identity. Yeah, because it was gradually escalating.

Yeah, people were getting weirder and weirder, hunting for just anything on you. Finding, like, our mother's Facebook page. Yeah. Going through it, trying to find pictures and stuff. Really creepy stuff that's, like, maybe if you're a 13-year-old that's just genuinely interested, they might not realize that it's quite as weird. The weirdest thing is when they, like, send you a message, and they're, like... Look what I found.

Yeah. Because I used to get loads of, like, notifications on Twitter of just this shit about you. Mm-hmm. Like, great. Yeah. What's your end goal? They almost use it as like a boasting. Yeah, they definitely do.

Look what I know about you. Yeah, it wasn't great. No, it was lame. I remember the turning point was when I'm. somebody like just made this website that was just an image of our house that we grew up in oh yeah yeah

that was that was the moment you weren't even living there at the time no but it was like that's that's so that's too far that's really creepy someone even called I think their house and stuff I now know how they got the information

and did it but the way they did is creepy as well how did they I'm not going to say here but I'll say after but um no you'll forget someone

that was another thing yeah someone did like an insane one which I'm almost like just for the pure um links they went to get information managed to get this picture of me from when I was like

17 yeah the one from a school from my school newspaper yeah which is so obscure Of course, there are... He's probably like a private investigator. Like, hired to...

Yeah. Hundreds of people going in and out of schools yearly. Just countless newspapers. And they somehow managed to find the one that I happened to be in. That was when I was like, all right, I've just got to do something now because this is just ridiculous. And ever since doing that, like, joke, face reveal thing on Colossus Crazes' Twitter at Christmas time.

Yeah, it just disappeared. It's good. Way preferer. And of course, being here, people can come see me all they want. I've never, if you don't have anything to hide online, your identity is worthless. You are worthless online, you're worthless online, I'm worthless online. Not in a mean way, but if there's videos of you beating up children, okay, your identity online is going to be worth something to someone. It's a fortune, yeah.

But it's just like, it could get you in trouble. nobody's none of our identities are going to get us in trouble that's why you blow out your number plates and you're doing 120 on the motorway I was speaking up James I got my first parking ticket today I haven't had one yeah and you got one yeah I got one because I went to Chippenham the other day um parked because I looked on an app beforehand to see where I could park for free because it was it was at like

it was at like 9pm so I was like oh that one's free that's good go there don't even think about it just leave my car there because I just thought it was free today I get a letter saying I was supposed to pay um 60 quid and if I don't pay within 15 days it's 100 quid it's creepy as hell man like we really are a CCTV like nation we are the most I had no clue there was even CCTV watching but it has it's creepiest hell man like in the letter there's a screenshot of um like the car driving in with me like at the wheel They photoshop it to make you look really evil

We are the most CCTV nation in the world We've got more CTVs CCTVs per person God you guys are fucking dicks aren't you Any way To get a bit cash money As well

That is ridiculous 60 smackers And it was an empty car park I was one of the only cars there Just at like 9pm at night And I was over 2 hours It's cunti. It's like they're doing it over nothing more

so they can put me more fuel in their fucking Lamborghinis. It's just a fucking con. Yeah. So I've got it in more trouble than you so far. You've been caught by the community speed watch and you've got a parking ticket. My insurance runs out in four days. Woo!

Can do burnouts outside Alex's house now? Dylan 132471 says What do you guys normally do while listening to music? Tap dance Recently, I'm always driving Yeah, driving Going from A to B Yeah

There's a lot of it Or doing the dishes For me I like to multi-layer how I like killing Two birds of one stone effectively right? So, let's say I am doing something like cleaning up, like taking Argy for a walk, doing things that need to be done, but adding a little bit of spice to them by listening to music or a podcast. I also do, I listen to a lot of music while editing or, um, that kind of thing. Yeah, walking.

Back-gall noise is sometimes good, it's like, it adds to the atmosphere and it makes things better. yeah um walking jim is such a fucking asshole um moon duck one says what madagascar character are each of you we've gone over this we've had this question before i mean if it's asked people clearly want to know the answer but they should know the answer seven people have voted that one reuben is gloria

yeah rubens definitely Gloria um um I'm Alex? No, I don't know. Because you're kind of Melman-y. I mean, yeah, okay. I do secretly want to fuck Ruben.

Yeah, that as well. James absolutely doesn't. James is... Jim, you're the main penguin and James is Kowalski. James is not Kowalski. James is the one that goes... Let's go.

Yeah, the Cockney one. you two just let's go skipper if you do that again I'm gonna get you done for a hate crime I'm skipper that'll be a great article ain't it

some shittily phrased article guy from place gets hate crime because penguins are Madagascar Alex say you didn't see anything in the I can't do it you didn't see anything

I can do Melman I want to fuck your ass Gloria Is he the dwarf? Yeah Oh man Imagine a giraffe mating of a hippo It happens in real life all the time Just like how I witnessed a zebra

A grown zebra Picking up a baby zebra with its mouth And dunking him and drowning him In the river Wait what? Where? On Twitter It's just a it's literally A zebra pulling a baby zebra's legs

off and then drowning him That's horse shit I'm not That's horse shit James there's a question here from For you James From in trade who says This one's for James

I noticed there aren't enough car questions So I got an epic one for you Oh yes like what's your opinion on the RX8 I personally think they're underrated in quite good cars So long as you treat them right Since they're a rotary and all Plus I want to get one and I know a lot of people hate it but you're a Mazda guy

so I'd like to hear your opinion. Okay, okay, okay. OXA, it's the bigger version of an RX-Seventure. They are dog sheep. Because the engines are the fucking shittest thing in the world. Great cars, really bad engines, you can pick them up for a couple hundred quid. But the car itself, the chassis is really good for modifying and racing. Really great car, but it's just bad engine.

But if you get one, my respect, because I've also thought about buying one. I mean he's nothing to do of you, but... I gave it, there you. I'd say it's... Driving? Mid to low, 7 out of 10? I'm really not familiar. I'll show you a picture and you'll be like,

that car looks cool. No, Alex, actually, stop. You know I said I was going to get that car that has the doors like your car? Yeah. So, in conclusion, do you like the RX8? Yes, I really like them.

So you're with this guy I'm with this guy Are they underrated? Yes Because the chassis The car itself Everything that makes the car I kind of move really

It's really good It's really well designed It's like a really good car Like as a driver's car It's just got The engine isn't reliable So you have to treat it A certain way for it to do anything

I see I see Well with that We're done here folks Thanks for listening everybody This has been The JAR Media Posdak episode 1 for 1 If we want to support the show, head over to join me your Patreon and leave a comment.

Leave a comment and subscribe. Leave a comment on too and leave us a review on iTunes. Remember to hit that bell so you get told whenever... Whenever James episodes of video about how he's blew his car up. Now to do a video about Four Night New Vegas. What's a... Wozah! Wow!

End the podcasts. I'm done with this shit. I'm going home.