JAR Media Posdact - Angry Joe Appreciation Epicly Angry Rant - JARCAST Episode 143

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen, hello and welcome to the jar. No, I was going to say it properly. Because we've been calling it the JAR Media podcast, when it should be the JARCast. Yeah, this is the JARCast. I'm your host Alex, joined by my bro Jim. What's up, family? And my other bro, James.

Yep, we've got lots to talk about. On this episode, it's a very dense one. I don't think we'll even be able to get to everything I've been noting down. Really? But first off, we go in. Thanks to the patrons who kindly support the show and make iTunes and Spotify possible. You're the man. You do people.

Men and ladies all around a while. They are. Our homies. So first off, I was right about Tomska. So, Jim, I'll accept your apology. now if you would... I never said that it's impossible. Yeah, you did.

You straight up turned it down. Look, for context with people who don't know, last episode, we were talking about this Tomska muffin song in last week's meme chat. And I was saying,

yeah, Jim, you know, it's an allegory or whatever, a metaphor for Tomska's hatred of being, you know, depressed and having to make KSTF movies all the time. You were like,

no, that's no way. No, you didn't say that. You weren't that accurate with it. Yeah, it was? No, you weren't. Anyway, yeah, I was. So I was right. Yeah, so basically Alex was almost right, and I was more right.

No, I was 100% right, and everyone is in agreement with me. Apart from that nobody's in agreement with you, and you're 90% wrong. So moving on from Jim being wrong, huge news with all regarding James this time. Two huge stories. Story number one regarding James. Oh, no. apparently and I don't know if there's any way to check the if this is real or not the official Yogscast Twitch channel was streaming some event yeah yeah I know

they were streaming some event and someone in the audience um whatever they were streaming like in some field appears to be holding up a picture of James that's been printed onto an A4 sheet and they're just holding it up towards the camera this is the picture from the I-H-E leaf jar video By I walk in Yeah, I walk in, I'm just like, I found him Yeah, black shirt, yeah Yeah, that's a good picture

I'll put the picture that someone put on Reddit on the screen Um Well, you'll have to go to the video to see it, I guess, but What? Is it intentional that It's a Yogs cast? Well, surely, because we call it the Yogs, we've joked about the Yogs cast before

So, I mean, someone just went in. That's crazy. Pretty sweet move. When I saw someone replying saying, oh no, that's not James, it's something else. Like some other thing. Some of the picture and it just happened to look like it. I got the original picture up and was like

no, like every line is in the exact same place. I sent you the picture that I have of that. Yeah. And it is the same. The colors. Yeah. Because it's just like a really blow picture. The colors, everything is the same. It's definitely a picture. with me so James moving up there and James now news story just developing today the

official death grips Twitter retweeted well if you add some context if you go on their Twitter they retreat a lot of memes about themselves they're like deaf grips is online and someone posted death grips is online with a picture of me yeah it's like wearing some fucking shit clothes with big collars and that's that's that's They were tweeted that picture. I actually double-checked it when someone sent it to me, and I was just like, okay, that is. So that was at Lowell's Monk tweeted that picture out.

So James moving up here. Awesome James News. Oh, there's also another thing. I got my car, I got spotted in my car driving down the motorway. No idea how they knew it was me, but someone just sent me a picture they took of me on the motorway. I don't know. I said they don't even follow you.

No, they were on the outside lane. I was just in the inside lane, just cruising. And they just took a picture of it, and they sent it to me. I don't know how they knew it was me, but that's fucking crazy. Yeah, man. That's my first. My first. Yeah, I want James to be all over.

Yeah, so this is a PSA for anyone out there. Yeah. Start printing off your pictures of James and just sneak him anywhere you can. Yeah. And then send us screenshots, because... On the news? you know sometimes they have those news like studio stuff on the news

and there's a background we're just going to see random people holding her face up destroying it we need it it'll become a meme of just my face being in places nobody gets it but everybody loves does it I don't want that to happen

got a post on Reddit at the jar Reddit yeah obviously from user Krusty underscore kamikaze 897 897 is crucial Who says

My JAR senior quote So we were told to write quotes For our year book So I went with the JAR quote obviously So my senior quote is Time We've all got time Less time than we thought though

I also have a lot of my friends Who aren't even into JAR saying it I don't know I thought it was funny You know That is a great quote it's like it works on its own but it's also a

funny little reference exactly so again you need more of those yeah just ruin your any way you can get them get them there

and the top comment was personally would have gone with a pos-dak title such as please give us ringworm or born to chowen chode or even by me me mumime it's not as

those ones aren't as universal yeah yeah I'd agree with that Jarkast The Jami they're like what are these villains in Captain America 2 called

Captain America 2 yeah Rinders Hydra they're like Hydra they're like behind the scenes slowly building an infrastructure getting ready to take over we're everywhere

and nowhere at the same time yeah genuinely epic so how we've been that's last week well James it's been two weeks for James in the show because of course he was famously too scared to be on last episode I was not too scared I was just had commitments

did you actually do you watch the episodes you're not on I watched that one because the the old jar video is the intro yeah so people I know someone sent me a screenshot or mentioned it and I was like whoa I don't know about this I watched it and great oh my god Great entry. We've got so many of them that we can just sneak in every day now. We have tens of old videos that are...

Unbelievably embarrassing. Yeah. But I'm proud of them. Oh, I'm proud of all of my old videos except for one. That Minecraft one, which is never going to see the light of day. Oh, that... No, no, we've got... That's the one.

That's the only one we should properly show in its full... I know this is one. It's not fair. It's... It's so good. You and I don't have a say, because we're... not in it. Yeah.

I'm saving it. No, but that's not fair because every video I'm in, I don't have a say. I've never had a say. Well,

do you want them to never be seen? No, we can put all of them up. It might as well. Good man. Because yours are timeless. Yours aren't as cringy.

Mine are funny and like a very... Yeah. They're just like odd. Yeah, they're bizarre. They're a little bit embarrassing. Yeah. They're a little bit embarrassing,

but... I can't agree with trees. in just one punch. Oh, God. The Garventimod. Oh, please. So you guys know how we feel about Kevin Hart, right? No.

Funniest guy alive. Yeah, the most... Ace. Just ace. Kevin Hart, awesome comedian. Neat. Really funny in... Yep, he's a neat.

Really funny in... Jumanji. Tripoli hilarious in dangerous in dangerous. Danger Boys, what was it called Jim? You know that movie where he was a kid? No, where the Rock was like fat when he was young and then he... Yeah, um...

Then he's like an undercover spy agency men. You know, some shit like that. I know what you're on you're on what. The people out there, they know what we're talking about. Kevin Hart, of course. Everyone remembers that movie. One of the biggest comedy comedians out there at the moment.

I don't know how, but... Turns out he hates the gays. Turns out he hates the gays. Nice one, Kevin Hart. So within, I guess, the same week, he was announced as being the host for the Oscars but then a few days later

he turned it down because I've actually got some respect for the guy based on why he turned it down because the committee or board

the Oscars were like you can do the job as long as you apologize for these tweets from a few years ago 2009, 2010 or whatever and he refused under the basis

that he didn't think he needed to or should apologize Yeah, that should respect to that. A comedian, shouldn't... He got James Gunned. Yeah. He got shot by the James Gunn.

A comedian shouldn't apologize. Supposedly, he'd made some... What was it, transphobic jokes or something? They were homophobic, I think. Yeah, something like that. Which obviously means he hates the gays with a... Mm-hmm. With a burning heart.

With a burning Kevin heart. So I want to shut him out. We're railing on the guy quite a lot But that shows commitment to his craft You know? Yeah Just like the Do you know what is funny though?

What? Um So he he gets Fucked over Um For a job opportunity Because of A joke he made

Yeah Whereas like he cheated on his wife And shit But everyone forgot that in one day Yeah Shows the priorities Yeah Oh mama

So I've been I've been on a binge of a sense in a certain sense Oh no What type of binge? I'm glad you asked Jim Is it crispy cream binge?

No, I already told Jim At least the beginning of this story But you know as one does In the evening And to wind down the day They might hop on Netflix Look for a couple of movies TV shows or something

And I thought you know what I haven't seen any Pixar movie for a while Let's watch a Pixar movie See if they're on Netflix So I just searched Pixar in the search bar obviously no Pixar movies came up but something very important did come up DreamWorks has some kind of deal with Netflix

so basically all DreamWorks movies are there so you know what I see Madagascar 3 there it was and then I looked at the left a little bit Madagascar 2 and then somewhere else Madagascar 1 whole trilogy

didn't see the Penguins of Madagascar but didn't look for it if I'm being honest So far I've seen I rewatch Madagascar 3 This is the order I did in Madagascar 2 Madagascar 3 And now I'm 30 minutes away from finishing

Madagascar 1 Ask away, boys Go on Your minds must be Exploding with questions Are they still as awful as they were when they launched? I like Madagascar 2 Madagascar 2 might be the best one

It's got one joke that raises it above everything. No, Jim, it has more than one funny joke. Really? The thing I love about the Madagascar movies is that they're either so insanely bad and unfunny that they're really funny or now and again they actually are funny.

They've got a rocket pace so that it's just completely ADD, never stops moving. I like a lot of the character designs. A lot of the animation is pretty good. surprisingly good you're saying how the first movie doesn't hold up at all but actually does surprised yeah we were just watching clips not long again yeah the compressed like clips on YouTube make it look like absolute ass but for a film

from like 2006 or something it doesn't look bad there's definitely worse movies I just think you like them too much I consider it a meme when you say you like Malagascar I think I find them so easy easy to watch. I'm never bored. My brain is constantly engaged when I'm watching King Julian singing I like to move it or Gloria being as sassy as ever or Melman and his OCD tendencies or Alex and his love for the show. Alright moving on.

You want to stand it one day. No. Yeah, because you just don't give it a chance. I'm not going to... I've seen them. I've said they're fine. No. I don't like the first one. The first one is a bad experience. Like, I bring no happy movies. Yeah, more kind of brings the film down quite a lot. And the credits. The dancing, yeah. The dancing is a bit over the top. But the reason I brought it up is because in Madagascar 3, the villain character, and you're going to love this, literally says game on. Oh really? Basically, just. looks into the camera and says game one

and I thought to me that was the film like just directly acknowledging me because I've probably sold countless copies of this film for them you know Alex do you like rainbow six then one of the character says game

game one I like it now one last factoid about the Madagascar movies I was curious because they keep making them you know they must make some Is there going to be another one I don't know

it's been like The trilogy was wrapped up quite nicely with the circus plotline. All of them have wrapped up nicely. However, listen to me, the amount of money they bring in has only gotten greater with each one. First one only cost around $70, $80 million to make. Brought in $400 million or so. Quite significant.

It's for the first movie, establishing a new brand. Then the second one comes in. Smashes it, gets five, six, six. million. The Madagascar 3 comes in with a whopping like 7-800 million. Five years ago? Yeah, 20, I don't know, 2011 maybe. So they're not gonna make another one? Remember, you're forgetting the power of the penguins.

Yeah, the Penguins in Madagascar had a movie. There was a TV show with the Penguins and King Julian that's been going on for ages. And I bet that doesn't make $700 million. It'll probably make a million at most. Remember, they made a Penguins and Madagascar movie. I don't remember. How much did that make? I don't know off top of my head They'll probably be like 100 million It's not going to be the same

No James you're underestimating the I'm underestimating are those penguins dibbies Yes This is the great debate I still can't decide So for those that don't know A dibby is a character such as Wally

Marge Mort From the same movie Yeah like a cute character that's meant to Sell something normally Or be cute relatable Yeah argue's a dibby Um

So the question is, are the penguins from Madagascar a dibby? Yes. I don't think they are. I think they're too active in the plot to be dibbys. They are the plot. And every one of them, they are the major driving force of the plot. Everything that happens is a result of them. So you're saying the actual three main characters are the dibbies?

No. The dibbies are, um, moort. Mort, King Julian is sort of a dibby. No, he's not. He's not cute enough. He's pretty cute. He's kind of gross and weird and... ...offensive, yeah, very sexual.

I can't find it. What was that film called? Madagascar 3? No, the... Penguins? Penguins of Madagascar. Yeah. It's going to call up with the actual, like, penguins based in Madagascar.

Oh, 2014, the Penguins of Madagascar. 6.7 out of 10. That's not that good, Alex. 6.7 is quite high for a Penguins of Madagascar, maybe. Oh. Didn't do well. budget of approximately 132 million yeah um total gross UK sorry USA 83 million worldwide gross 3 373 so it's 100 that's probably they've doubled their

investment it's not enough though no think about advertising that adds a big chunk onto the onto the costs there so hmm well from that surprises me that's like if they made the minions movie and the minions movie didn't do well as despicable me whereas the minions movie of course does did ridiculously well minions are debbies though yeah minions are dibbies and they affect the plot too but that's it's their design isn't it they they purposefully like aren't characters sort of they're like they're dibbies you they're just a yellow blob it's such a subjective term it's so confusing it's not subjective it's there's a mathematical answer

That's definitely a dibby sock It's Spock Yeah Spock is a divvy Spock on a sock Guess what What Everyone in the

Everyone in the UK is insanely unhealthy I guess Why you're saying Nine out of ten people in the UK No listen I stumbled across this article Okay no

Before we move on Who wrote this article BBC News Okay it's a load of shit Just put that out there Well, hang on and listen It's not like claiming anything that absurd Or that unbelievable to me

Anyway Most adults living unhealthy lifestyles Is the title Of course That's kind of common sense Yeah, that's common sense, you idiot Sorry, I'll just close I'll just close up with an idea then

Ever since we've had like transport We've all been unhealthy Because we just drive everywhere You don't walk, we don't do exercise It's not just about that though It's the overwhelming majority of adults in England are so unhealthy they put their lives at risk

as survey suggests the data from the health survey for England showed nearly nine out of ten had at least one unhealthy trait those unhealthy traits being smoking alcohol alcohol obesity inactivity obesity

low fruit and veg inactivity smoking low fruit and veg low fruit and veg obesity because it's like the combination of them people doing the combos of them and then alcohol low fruit and veg

okay let's go for this list I'm a bit inactive and I probably don't drink yeah out of you you don't drink enough for that to count as being a thing what alcohol yeah I don't smoke anything

but you are inactive and you don't and you don't eat fruit and veg I do eat food regularly I'd say yeah it's a given that most people are unhealthy and have at least one of these traits but

at the same time like life expectancy ain't ain't changing much this it's weird because you need to jump you need to have that how long have people been living this exact lifestyle you know last 200 years probably no because through that like people living in the 40s you know their diet would be completely different they'd be way more active probably um okay is what you're trying to say gonna say is the life expense expectancy is going to massively drop in the next 50 years and we're just going to fucking die is that what you're saying not saying that i'm saying the percentage of people needing help to support like especially something like obesity you're saying it's going to get

worse yeah yeah you just said it yourself like yeah no that it's called all the going to the supermarket like tesco the easiest thing to buy is the like unhealthy stuff right It's the cheapest. It's the cheapest, yeah. It's the easiest you don't have to prepare anything. How's it not? That's the difference, the preparation. It's easier, but it's not cheaper.

Vegetables are so fucking cheap. You can buy a fuck ton of veg. But people don't just eat bowls of veg. No, you need something with it. You need some meat, maybe some sauce. I feel like people, they see different types of vegetables. They might get some frozen ones that are already prepared or whatever. Maybe do that.

But it's normally like a bit of meat, potato or some sort of thing, the most English meal of all time. Just like bang's a mash, meat and potato. A bit of gravy. Meat and potato, yeah. But I would say it's going to get worse because we haven't lived long enough through like McDonald's where you just go get the most unhealthiest thing possible. And you can eat.

Yeah, but I mean, again, like you were saying earlier about the 60s, they probably drank more, smoked more. But also it was more of a thing then, really. Smoking and drinking was a lot bigger back then. Yeah, like in war. I reckon that the biggest one is dietary. Out of all those, surely. It depends.

If you're drinking... Obviously, there are a portion of the population that will always be alcoholics as long as it's legal. Yeah, the, um, the dietary one is the most difficult to control. Yeah. Because humans love sweeties. especially in the UK our confectionery is immense it's extremely good which makes it even harder honestly ever since the daylight saving yeah I just go into carb mode yeah it's like our bodies want to go and hibernate just like get really fat and

then sleep because it gets darker like four and it's like oh I don't well but I get some donuts keep me warm Um, the survey from NHS Digital has been published as the Office for National Statistics revealed the latest death rates linked to alcohol. In 2017, nearly 7,700 people died in the UK from alcohol-specific causes, where the death was wholly, um... I can't pronounce this word. Right. Attributable, there you go. Yeah, that's fine.

You know, sometimes a word just catches you off guard. Every word in the English language, basically, from me. That is the equivalent of 12.2 deaths per 100,000 people, the highest rate since 2008. How many, what, 12? 120 something? 12 deaths per 100,000 people dying from just alcohol. No, but if you think that, that's so small. That is such a tiny percentage. Well, that's like under 1%.

Then, obviously, it's going to happen. Alcohol's like the worst drug. That means nothing, to be honest. It's not the... Oh. I would say it's the worst It's just the most ingrained in Like our culture

I'd say But that is such a small statistic That's like not even worth considering Or even thinking about Yeah I wouldn't say that's Anything really to take in I was just surprised to learn It was actually so low I guess

Oh no definitely I would have expected You have to drink a hell of a lot For it to be the thing that kills you To be lethal yeah Like I remember you saying like One saying something about this like old lady you drink like 90% like alcohol

because she drank so much this she had like insane tolerance yeah like that stuff kills you eventually but I mean the thing is it may shave live days off of your life but like

you can't like it's hard to nail it down to that one thing like one thing may take away hours from how long you're going to live and other things but then you might you might get cancer from something completely unrelated and dry And that way, that's, it's weird, yeah. It's hard to pinpoint it on one aspect that is unhealthy about you.

But the good news is, things like drinking to excess is down. Mm-hmm. Cigarette use is down. I would say it's down because, like... The thing that's going to increase is inactivity and... Well, yeah, it says the most common unhealthy lifestyle trait is low fruit and vegetable consumption. Yeah. um although there are high levels of unhealthy lifestyles around four and ten adults have no signs of ill health developing yet

it takes a lot of abusing to start getting like effects of it though yeah like you can live a life without eating much veg and still be relatively healthy and like no have any problems like me for example i feel nothing okay do you find it upsetting if you see like a really obese child yeah because then it's like most of time it's how the parents brought them up where they don't give them veg when they should like I didn't grow up eating veg because I was just an idiot and I was just like ooh and I regret that like massively and when you can see a kid that's been like forced to eat all these McDonald's every day well not forced because they really like it yeah but it's just

like the parents should be should at least 100% the parents fault yes it is just sad I remember I remember that the exact moment I learned the importance of fruit and veg because of course when you're a kid you don't you don't you don't You don't want to eat it ever. No, you just want sweet. You just want... Yeah, you just want garbage. You want...

Good stuff. Chips, pizza, you know, garbage. The first time I ever had constipation. Because I never ate... Vegge. You know, I must have been... I was in primary school, so... Anywhere from 6 to 9 or something.

Mm-hmm. I was like, oh my God, this is torture. Then I just started eating kiwi fruits and shit. that I'm mad and ever since then I've actually never had it again since then conservation yeah I'm so weird actually I've never had it my life really I don't want it is horrible I've never had it so severely but I've never had to imagine needing really needing to do a plot but you just you can't you physically can't I've never had that that yeah it's honestly hellish what I find I think with this issue the only

way to fix it is to basically educate. In schools, you teach people how to repair fruit and veg. You do that type of stuff. Yeah, we did all that as well. I don't think education matters. It's... No, because if I'm going to straight to say, if I use... Cook you meals regularly. Yeah. Balanced meals anyway. Surely

that's the biggest thing. Right? The thing is, people don't... People outrage don't give a fuck about what's going to happen in 10 years or 20 years in in terms of the stuff we do to our bodies and younger it's even worse when you're like 16 you're just not thinking ahead at all you can't you've only lived 16 years you're like I've got like 50 left

fuck it I can do fix it later so why I don't think it is something you can teach because there's no motivation when you've got no investment in your future it's got to be forced by parents I mean like by the government Yeah, the government has to... Eat your broccoli.

Yeah. We'll give you broccoli pills. The life hack before we end this segment. Get broccoli, carrots, and then asparagus, any veggie you like. Honestly, it's so easy. Students could do it. Just put it in a pan, boil it.

Five minutes. Put it on a plate. Make some gravy. Pour gravy on it. That is so easy. Even stupid fucking idiot. didn't think they go. I have that all the time.

The worst thing about it is the I guess there's salt in the gravy probably. Oh, salt never hurt anyone. And with that, we'll be back after D's I like to move it, move it messages. Still pissed off you guys, didn't like my Madagascar segment.

Yeah, that actually pissed me off. I could see there, that fire in your eyes. What were we meant to say? It's fucking Madagascar. Okay, all right. In relation to what you just said, I would say to never drink any type of fruit juice or anything that's bottled that's supposed to be fruit.

Because I heard some, I can't, like, 100% say this is accurate. But like, when you drink fruit, because of the way it's processed to get all the juice, it's all sugar, it's pure sugar. Because from what I've heard, when you eat fruit, your saliva and how you eat it is what you get the nutrients from it. breaks it down. Yeah, I've heard the same thing.

It's why when you drink a smoothie, it doesn't count as having the same amount of fruit. It's just pure sugar, basically, because it's not being broken down by your saliva. What about when you make a smoothie yourself? It's the same. It's the same, yeah. So, they're not healthy.

It's weird. So if you see, like, someone who's obese, just drinking that stuff, they're not helping them, because they're just drinking more shitty sugar. Yeah. Well, yeah, it depends on your lifestyle. If you're going running and walking all the time and you drink, like, a smoothie a day,

I mean, you're going to be burning it off. So, I guess, the only thing you have to worry about is. If you want to be healthy, you just don't drink those types of stuff. You have to physically eat it. Water's underrated, man. Right now, I've got the severe problem about I'm not drinking any water, like, at all. For the last, like, three days, I've not drank any water. I haven't drank anything, really.

I just, I... Fucking drink some water right now. I drank some yesterday, but... I drink so much water. It's impossible. I physically cannot drink that much. You know, I can only drink. people out there they don't like water yeah I think you're a fucking damn ass if you

don't like water for real people just don't the number one thing you need to survive yeah I just I physically can't force myself to drink it if I'm not thirsty I can't I can't do it like before I go to bed I'll go have like a little sip that's it that's all I'll ever drink and it's bad real bad I just can't do it like I've seen you like you'll pull glass water and just down all of it and get another one I really love pouring a pint of water and just like yeah the whole thing there's nothing more satisfying to me

I feel like a zebra like Marty just drinking a big big slow I feel like um I feel like I feel like a uh

uh Mel what's the draft called Melman yeah there you go thanks that so you're done James

I'm 100% done in my little segment Okay, so this is a part of the show where we go over to the JAR Media Reddit where anyone in the whole goddamn world with an internet connection can go Any you just took that quote, you took that You just copied what you said in your recent IHE video

Anyone in the world with an internet connection Is how you describe being like using YouTube? Yeah, stop stealing IHE's content Alex Sorry, he's shit anyway, just cringy It makes bad videos as well Yeah, anyone can go over to the JAR Media Reddit, head over to the JARCAST suggestion post, and you might have a chance of the JARMedia crew.

Yeah, that's us. Answering your questions. It's the sock that Jim pulled and broke. Don't do it. Look, no, look, look, look, look. Let go, let go, look. So you're going to have to bear with me here. Look how fucking baggy it is at the top now.

The top post is from James House, and I'm scared to read it. because it begins with well since you asked for stories about the yogs turning people into terrible monsters oh no I've been watching the yogs religiously all day every day since the first episode was uploaded this got to the point where

my entire internal monologue is made up from the personalities of Alex James Jim and Rubin they dictate my every move decide my every action there's a girl I really like let's just call her female and I recently decided to finally ask her out

I approached her and asked her politely if she wanted to go on a date with me Game on, you sticky little slimer Would you like to twerk on down to the Supreme Restaurant TGI Fridays today on a Wednesday? I can show you the way to the goats you dimension, dibby-dibby She rudely responded Sorry, I'm not interested

I heard James's voice screaming at me in my head to smash her face in I heard Alex scream laughing and saying In his famous baby voice Pussy's slime skin suit say that quickly what voice Aggie's voice yeah

oh pisser slime spin soup Jim saying What's up boys The 8080 in Rogue 1 is definitely a different design Start from the bottom Now we're here

Do I love Jack White Boy do I love Jack White You've got to say that Jim Say what What's up boys The 8080 in Rogue 1 is definitely a different design Start from the bottom

Now we're here Boy do I love Jack White That's too much, dude. Come on, try. Started from the bottom, now we're here. I can't remember any of the other bits. And boy, do I love Jack White. Boy, do I love Jack White.

I do. And Rubin shrieking the N-word, hardy are, all at once. Go on, Rubin. Well, I'll have to take that out, because that's just ridiculous, Rubin. That was, Jesus Christ. I took a nearby hammer and smashed her face in. I fled the scene, and had... I've been hiding in a storm drain, feeding off rats for the past two weeks,

reciting every episode of the JARCast to myself, word for word, since my phone ran out of battery. I just want to thank Jha for really helping me find myself and make me for more at home of my own skin. By the way, I climbed inside her pussy, and I'm currently wearing her like a skin suit. Well, um, if you need any more rats, if you're feeling hungry, Billy... You need to buy a terrier dog. I cleaned up three dead rats from my garden today, because of Billy. Are you joking? Three?

You should just make a pile. Yeah. Do you imagine? I wouldn't... Ideally, I'd have effigies around. So I'd never have rats around, just like... That's creepy. On crosses and stuff.

I just trod and argue. I didn't realize he was there. He didn't scream, though, so we're good. Moon Duck 1 asks, If the dogs of JAR Media formed a band, what would it be called? And who would play what? We've got two dogs of JAR at the moment.

No, let's say, dogs of all time. So, Max, Max, Uggy, Guy, Fossi. Damn, that's a lot. That's a five dog. So there'll be, because there's five, and it's unusual in England and all that. In the Western world, to have bands that big, it'll be like a K-pop kind of group, because there's a lot of them. I reckon it would be, we should go through instruments and see who would play what? Okay, okay.

Drums. Max? Yeah, I was thinking Max. The fat Max, I mean. Fat Max, not your, big Max. Not my Max. uh bass guitar bass guitar that's a difficult one i'll say no flossie's got the voice of all the dogs she had a booming has the voice voice um it's the one that makes me think bass is guys

actually yeah yeah guys so he's probably making me think of roger waters because he's so lanky okay so you've got guys on bass flossy vocals easy flussy you're gonna flossy vocals yeah definitely not no of all the dogs ever she's had the most intense bark for like a female dog she barked like a fucking lion she was like in crazy

okay you've sold me on that uh lead guitar it's between argi and my max and yeah max one max one

max the original well what so we've got four she've got bass what's left vocals pianist there could be a pianist or there could be two guitarists well he's not a guitarist so my max would be a guitarist

argue can't really do any instruments his arms are so short his legs are so short no he could do some stuff like what sing no he would be a terrible pianist why it's just to argue I'm having trouble placing on an yeah he's useless as an instrument triangle triangle What about like a... An oboe? Clarinet.

Violin? You can't do that with his tiny little legs? No, he'd have like... It'll be one of the main chores of the band. It would be like a modified violin. Oh. Custom made for him.

Saxophone. Saxophone kind of does suit him. Like, it... Like, bigger than him. Yeah. Okay. No, realistically, he'd be useless. Like, he's just...

He's the pretty... Well, realistic that... Realistically, they don't be useless because they're dogs. They can... But Argy's the pretty boy. She's the backup vocals because it's all he does with Bart. He is the pretty boy. Raging monotony says,

since Alex has already shown in past episodes his knack for Ray William Johnson impressions, could he release an up-down album version of TIG-O-Biddies or perhaps stereotypes? Just say TIG-O-Biddy's in your singing, boys. I've actually thought about doing it. I can't remember how he's I'm being put on the spot right now Tigg old biddies Two Melons in a shirt

Tigg old biddies Tigg old biddies Tiddle biddies How do you Because I would try and play Minecraft on Alex's old laptop It was like eight years ago Jim Yeah but Alex would listen to the song

Over and over and over and over and over And nerd rage The most was Tig old bitties because that's when you first discovered your favourite Martian. Yeah. I personally am a fan of my weird owl voice I sometimes do.

Hmm. Yeah. Not going to do it right now. Well, why'd you even bring it up then? Because I wanted people to be anticipated but then not get it because sometimes you need to learn that you don't get what you want.

Maybe they don't want it. Maybe what they want is for you to not do it and then they got exactly what they wanted. No. don't lude my wifu says okay but what was the worst meme of 2018 the bongo thing the bongo cat no bongo cat was good featured in fuck cute no it was so shit it was featured in youtube rewind this year yeah no the bongo cat was good bongo cat was pure dog shit jim compared to the memes you've ever funny i've never seen it been

No, I never laughed once. It's not supposed to be funny. It's not that type of movie. No, it is. It's supposed to be like, it's Neion Cat of the Year. Yeah. Okay, yeah, but did anyone find

Neon Cat funny? Yes. Yeah, they did. Because it's like a Pop-Tart cat flying with Rainbow. Okay, yeah, but a cat playing bongos isn't funny. It's not supposed to be funny.

It is. A real cat playing real bongos, that would be fucking hilarious. Yeah, a little people cat. Funniest shit ever done. No, neither of them are funny. You're talking to me, though. I hate literally every meme.

I can't have an opinion on this because none of them are good. What was your worst meme then? Well, you've got to mind me of the memes. No. Because the answer is the... Okay, the T-Pose one was terrible. Yeah, T-Pose one's pretty bad. There's a T-Pose one?

Yeah. I've got like a list-up of some shitty article of like, the best memes of the year. Tide pods? Not a meme. No, that's just... It wasn't a meme. It was a meme. shit

not funny being stupid it was funnier it was funnier seeing people like put a pizza in the oven with typos on it than that fucking cat I don't find

dive with them funny they're not funny but the cat is worse the cat was just catchy what about uh Kylo Ren in the really high pants

that's a good meme because we've even like recreated it that's one of the best memes it's fine I liked that one. God, there aren't, like, really any good ones. And half of those I haven't even seen before.

Like, they put absolute unit in here. I feel like that's been said for a while. No, it's because there was, like, a picture of the queen with just, like, this guy behind her, and he was an absolute fucking unit, and he was huge. And that's where that meme came from. That was a bit of a giggle. I got a giggle out of that one. Oh, it was precious when you smiled this year.

Yes. You serious? Yeah. God, that feels like so long ago. You're so fucking precious when you smile. Yeah, nice. Good meme. Really, really good meme.

Really excellent. It's not the best, but it's also not the worst because some funny stuff has been done with it. Yeah. Hit that from... The backpack kid. What backpack kid? You did the... you know

what the fuck's that dance called flossing yeah flossing what's it good to do with a backpack because he invented it some kid that wears a backpack invented it on Instagram I thought it was a Fortnite thing

did you actually no they put they put it into Fortnite after and then it got memed because it was in Fortnite side note Jim you know how many players are on Fortnite now monthly

no 200 million 200 million people playing Fortnite Wow I was saying to James earlier This is why games like Fallout 76 and the new battlefield Like no one's buying them

Yeah Why would they? Yeah what's the point Anything that's not Fortnite Anything that's not like exceptionally better than Fortnite in some way Or offering something really different Pointless

Pointless to the general audience That can just play Fortnite for free Mad PubG Sad Dead You think it's sad? Huh?

Why is it sad? They're offering a product that people want. I don't mean sad like that. I mean, it's sad that Halo 3 never had that. We didn't have 200 million players, but it had the cultural relevance, sort of. Well, it didn't ascend. I'm jealous, basically, that I don't like Fortnite. I know, it's annoying.

I kind of wish I could be involved in it and actually be excited for it because that game has ridiculous support. Yeah. But I just hate it. Yeah, I hate playing that game. Yeah, so do I. We're not 12 with insane Twitch capabilities, I guess. Speak for yourself, bro.

Um, there was the Stephen Crowder meme. Yeah. Changed my mind. Never really tickled me that one. You could get an occasional one that was like a gut punch that you just weren't expecting. You know, makes you wheeze. Uh, the, uh, grew. standing by that

yeah bored yeah fine grue's plan oh what about the crusty crab next to the chum bucket

one yeah lots of comparison memes hmm it's because um there was Fortnite and PubG this year yeah of course

Thanos was a whole meme and Thanos car and all that shit yeah oh Thanos car might be I think Thanos car might be the worst one

yep I can think of No, I agree with that I really have a a real hatred for the Bongo cat I don't know why I just think it's awful Thanos car

Bongo cat Come on one one's innocent and cute And the other one's It's not innocent and cute It is 100% innocent and cute No 100% I loved it The thing that pisses me off

is with Thanos car Is how little effort The meme creators had to put in And like Bongo cat But they had to animate that. No, because they had to do it with the Qatar and then the snipe rifle and all that. We live in a society? No, not funny at all.

No, that one's great. Gamers rise up. The gamer, yeah, the gamer meme shit is pretty prevalent. Well, isn't that like E-E-girl kind of apporting to iOS like a meme? Because that's a pretty great meme. That's kind of a meme based on, like, just something that happened, though. Yeah. What about the, uh...

Infinity War, people turning into leaves thing. Leaves? Ash. You know, whatever. Leaves. It's because Quinson reviews call them leaves and now that's what I automatically go to. There's ash, Alex. Well, it's not real, so like it's...

I'd say it's turning into CG dust. They'd be ash. Well, they're dying and they're disappearing, so they would be ash. I didn't feel so good, you know that one. Eh. Don't mind it. It's a bit funny at first. The gamer memes are a cut above the rest.

They're not. The actual gamer memes on, like, Instagram, they're the worst thing in the world. No, not actual gamer memes. They're fucking awful. They're fucking awful. The first few were very funny. No. Yeah.

They definitely weren't. Johnny Johnny. Didn't like that one. No, that was awful. Okay. That's Phanos Khan that one so far. What about, um, the state of Cucci in America? It's making me smile thinking of it, so it can't be the worst one.

They, not by any means. It's not just an e-girl meme. That's just any, any, like, in-cell thing. Yeah, it's the funny. Oh, God. Do we ever say about your constant obsession of minion in-cell, like memes? Minion cells. Yeah, me.

It's been, it's been in my jar document for ages. Min-cells. No, it's minion cells. There's a subreddit called Minion Cells, which is like famous in-cell quotes on like... Minion pictures and they call... Stacey's. They call women Stacey's. The men chards.

No, the men are the purple chads. The men are purple chads because... To speak with me too, they've got the... like the purple minions that are like crazy and really strong. And you're also yellow-pilled if you're like a... a Minion Cell member. Oh, Jesus. No, we were actually driving back

from, like, Swindon, and you were just fucking just scream laughing at them in my car. When I first discovered it, I had the time of my life, because I just went through every post. Are they all real? I'm not sure.

The quotes, probably. Probably not. Because some of them are so over the top. Yeah, but insoles are so fucking scary. They probably just can't full time and just click on whatever one You can get that stuff on.

Elon Musk's smoking a blunt? No. Forgettable. There it is Bongo cat. Yes. Worse one. It is the worst one. No. No, no, no. It's complete dog shit.

No, it's not. You only say that because you just personally hate cute things. Oh, no. Moth. Moths. Oh, I hate the Moth one. I think the Moth one... My vote is Moth. I'm gonna...

My vote is... bongo cat and your vote is Fano's car Fair enough They're all Very shit memes Yeah that answers that one

No because I don't like Famos car Because the actual car was disgusting That's why I don't like it Oh Bad reason Awful reason Jai Jai 2048 says Will there be a

Is Smash Bros Ultimate as blank as they say video No because it is as good as they say It's fucking incredible Shut the fuck up That's the point of the video James that's why we made the video no because we're supposed to say it's shit and it's not as good as they say

but he's literally as good as they say you don't understand you don't understand you've been in one yeah true the only truly negative one was the fallout 76 one that's because it was never good

so it should not have been made we've got a long list of as good as they say videos we need to do it's honestly it's our best custom series since the Jalcast yeah because there's always the thing with the blabs

where it's like, Blabs are good and everything, but they just sit in the same space as sort of jarcasts, you know? So we kind of do that already in the show. It gives something. I'm just going to say that I invented as good as they say. I accidentally invented it.

Well, we wanted to do a video on Spider-Man. Yeah. And you were like, well, I'll just call this is Spider-Man as good as they say? Yeah. And then... Because I was thinking of like, what's like the bullshit like clickbait titles

that everyone does, you know? all those awful like movie you channels that are like Collider and all that shit you know have shit like that but then it's

a jar meme obviously the reference to Zookeeper his TGI is as good as they set it and it's like I just did that one as a joke but then I thought wait this actually works way better than Yeah it works really well

Yeah but they're just reviews I just call them reviews Yeah but no one clicks on that What the fuck are you talking about We've already done that And we've got the gimmick of You know where you start you know you know if it's gonna be positive or negative from so we don't

fuck around wasting time like uh like i ain't gonna throw anyone under the bus we would the old weber reviews throws they were shit throw someone under the bus you know exactly who i was going to say i wasn't listening because i was looking at a comment a reviewer that wastes your time oh angry joe Oh my god I hate him so much he still uses that one picture of him from like 20 years

ago on his thumbnails for all that Patreon money he should actually put effort into his videos no Patreon sure okay for all that money you get some YouTube he should put effort into videos you can take him the other day to like the nostalgia critic

but of gaming yeah yeah he is not a fan of him I was when I was 13 in my ICT classes I wouldn't say I don't like him I like him I like his character but yeah I found it hard to sit there

no I like him just because he's not really he's just got too much waffle in his videos yeah and his points don't make sense and it's never consistent that's not true he gives the most like gamer opinions that a gamer could it doesn't mean resonates for so many people it doesn't mean anything because he changes his opinion

completely the next video oh this game's long okay this game's really good because it's long there's no point no but he always sticks by that opinion no he doesn't he changes it if it's a game he likes like when if a game he doesn't like has an issue and a game he does like has an issue doesn't there's no so you want about angry Joe but the guy's consistent so he's not yeah I'd say he's almost too consistent because his videos look like the same as they did yeah yeah completely 100% incorrect No. Yeah, you are.

Okay, let's go stream watch five of his videos and you'll see these. No, because we'd be there for like five hours. Hey, give one example. I've literally discussed this with Alex before and he agreed with me. Give an example then. No, I've just said I've never really liked that criticism. I don't think just because something is under four hours doesn't mean it's inherently not valuable. Yeah, but no matter what, if a game is under four hours and it costs $60, he will be pissed.

Yeah. But he never changes that opinion. That's what I'm saying It's consistent Yeah, that's what I'm saying Okay, okay Okay, what I'll say is If it hasn't got 50 million side quests to do

Which are all the same He doesn't gonna like it Well, again, consistent That's a stupid opinion though It's a gamer opinion When you're young specifically And you can only get like three games a year Or maybe even less

You're gonna want the one that just gives you as much shit as possible. Yes, you play multiplayer games. That's why you get Codd every Christmas. Well, I'm just saying. My, like, three thousand hours of modern warfare two proves it. Anyway, Angry Joe, we would love you

to come on the cast. Hit us up. Yeah, hit me up on Twitter, and we can get that arranged. Make sure other Joe is there, otherwise we're not interested. Yeah, other Joe is the priority, really. I'm going back to bringing it full circle on the dibby conversation.

Slip Bodmod while cringe says, to what extent are Halo grunts dibbys which Halo has had the most dibbyish grunt design They've all had There's no difference between any of them That's not true The breach has the least dibbyish

Okay yeah Yeah because they They just they speak gobbledy Yeah they don't actually speak English Do they? No Which is why that is the best Halo game D-Din

Dishol too no Because they had good Those grunts were good Halo free probably Definitely dibby They were useless They were canon fodder They are the dibbies

They can afford in all of them By design they can't afford it in all of them Well no because in Halo 2 there was a different variety So they're not as dibbyish No but Halo 3 has the grenade ones Which are actually quite threatening Hmm Um

Halo 1 then Okay Halo 1 dibby Halo Because it's not the 3-4-3 ones Because their designs are so atrocious Yeah That's just off the table Nothing cute slash relatable about them at all

And their dialogue isn't as funny as well. I never found the funny to be honest but that's me. They've never been laugh out loud funny to me but they're amusing

at the very least Yeah They're not even amusing But then again Halo 2 They're like Scared of Master Chief Moore The whole demon thing

That's a good point actually No it is Halo 2 Because there's even that cutscene Where Chief goes boo at one And scares it And it gives him his needler Yep Halo 2

I miss Max Says God damn it When will we next see Rubin Um, never, really soon actually He's twerked into another dimension We never seen him again He'll be here for Christmas, so

Boarderline Neat says If given unlimited budget and creative freedom What video game would you make? What direction would you take with the game mechanics and story? I'll make fallout new Vegas good Oh wait, it is coming out So you'd just wait for obsidian You'd give money to Obsidian

I would fund, I'd give it all to Obsidian. Why wouldn't you? You'd give your infinite money to Obsidian. Why wouldn't you just fund a good company to make it? Let them make games. I think the question was more, what game would you want to make? Fallen out in Vegas, but good. I'll let Obsidian do it.

Okay. I'm a gamer. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not top of the train. I'm not a creative director. I don't know shit. I want good games, and I'm going to fund good companies to do that. Because the end of the day, I don't care if I like the game or not.

As long as it's good... This is a stupid answer, Jim. You didn't let me finish! No, because it's a fucking point. No, let me finish. If you like games, you like things... You like creative ideas. You aren't going to be creative of your ideas

because it's only you. No, with unlimited budget, you can have whatever you want. That's the idea of the question, isn't it? Yes. We can just have whatever we want. The question was more like, what game would you want? As in like, yeah, I would like a science fiction... Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'll say, answer. okay best game ever made okay straight up as insanely detailed as red dead driving mechanics straight from forza shooting mechanics straight from red dead from mele combat straight from whatever melee combat every the best thing from every game that's ever existed in one game um I'd do a sequel to the Mad Max game but make it better okay Mine, yeah, don't even make it be a sequel, just be like an epic Mad Max game. Yeah, just a fucking awesome Mad Max game. I would like a really awesome Lord of the Rings game.

I knew you were going to fucking say that. You want SkyWim that's good in Lord of Wings. No, nothing like Skyrim. What type of third person, first person, strategy? Like Red Dead, but in Lord of the Rings. Okay, so could you fucking imagine that. How cool that would be. They have horses as well, so.

Yeah, you couldn't that much work, did he? They could just adapt it. I would love to see Rockstar do something to do with, like, creatures in it. I think that would be so cool. No, that's never going to happen. Yeah, they did Unda Nightmare. There's like creatures, zombies. No, they're people.

Boomers and shit. Anyway, I'm quickly going to read this last thing as we wrap up the show here. The Cameron might go out. Crab Cabab says, Alex asked for a bad story about Jarre in our lives, so here's mine. I had a girlfriend in 2016 back when the Cholos meme was around, so I'd constantly annoy her with it and put on the voice

one time to the point of tears I'd also imitate Alex's weird laugh sometimes and it would really piss her off we lived in Australia but ironically we broke up over text when she went to England after not even two months together this turned out to be a good thing in the end because I'm with a girl who now plays Halo with me

so I guess the Cholos meme was a necessary evil Cheers boys I guess you're three for three Wait whoa what did he say at the end there Cheers boys I guess you're three for three Oh, I thought he said I guess you're 3-4-3 Can I just say, why would you break up With a girl through text

When she's in a different country Like, I can't just do it like in person Come on Um Because they're in a different country You just wait You do that stuff proper And end it proper

You I'd say If they're like 14 Who cares The second You want to end it Is when you should Fucking nuke that shit

Pff Mm-hmm Mm-hmm yeah camera's well i wouldn't know oh yeah we done here no of course not

thank you for watching this episode of johnmy your podcast please watch this great video Alex is going to enter about the mycar video that nobody's ever going to see thank you for watching and good night thanks for patreon supporters and uh we'll see you on the next angry joe show

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