JAR Media Posdact - Bish and Chips - JARCAST Episode 193

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

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grab your slosh get ready for action hello welcome to the jar media podcast episode 193 I'm going to reel back one little second good afternoon morning evening or night wherever you are in this world game on I did it I did it I'm your host Alex and I'm joined by Jim and James yep hello big boss here we got big boss and we got a couple of karate legends over here why karate well

they'll find out eventually I guess it's been secretly training judo in his spare time so we're an interest we are in an interesting situation at the moment

because we are in the future we're in the future in a weird sense because what we're recording now oh I suppose we're in the past

Yeah, we're a fragment of the past I got it completely wrong Because No, we're a fragment of the future right now But when in the future will be a friend of the past No, because as of us recording this right now There's a podcast going out tomorrow And it's not this one

We've already got another one that's going to go up for this one So for us The time or the date is completely different To what it's going to be when it goes out Which is normal Because JAR has actually got a schedule now we're a bit more We're on the ball

Yeah We've got it rolling On the road to 100K We're doing it We're living the dream You know We are We're busy boys

And you know Many many years Worth of content to come We're on the grind We are In every sense We got a bunch of things To talk about

Um The first one being Lord Bung Who um At least Jim knows Do you know Lord Bung James Lord bong

yes I do he's a he's a listener of the cast and he's a creator of the YouTube show confinement which I recommend very good stuff

one of the only like animator arty sort of people who's finding success at the moment on YouTube so big props to him

and listener and he wanted me to he wanted me to put a picture on the screen of a you know lady in the tramp where they're like eating spaghetti yeah

but instead of one of them eating spaghetti instead of them both eating spaghetti with their mouth one of them eating spaghetti coming out the other dog's ass I can't really show that on screen unfortunately bang but how are you supposed to ever do that he just sent me the picture on Twitter DM and was like can you put this in the job I might be able to sneak it in somewhere

is that reference to us the other day when you were eating my spaghetti shit I mean, maybe it's that. I don't know how he'd know that, though. Well, thanks for telling everyone, though. Kind of kink-shaming me. The first real topic I want to talk about today is something that's been on my mind for a while.

I'm holding in my hand, we missed you, like, a little bit of cardboard, that Amazon slide through your letterbox when they miss you, when you're not in. Coyers, basically. Yeah. And I got, I was, I was, I think I was in the shower at the time. And Amazon knocked on my door with a, with a package, a package which, which was delayed and was late.

So it was a day late. And they delivered this through the door. And I need help from you guys. Because it's pretty simple. Everyone knows what this is about. everyone knows these we've missed you like bits of cardboard they normally just slide it through the door and they either say come get it from your local post office or we've put it like behind the back of the house or wherever you've defined as your safe area or whatever just to be

clear because americans won't get this because obviously in america you know if you're not work that way in america no the the uPS girl just throw it at a wall or something like the fence you know they certainly do it there so in the uk then at least in the uk in the uk we have courtesy and we drop off. Our UK brother and what we mean. But the point is they ticked off saying yeah we left it in your safe space

but then at the top in big text in capital letters they wrote thanks in like huge letters that I'm showing my cast mates where? At the top

it just says thanks for some reason and I'm it's driving me crazy I'm like, is that a sarcastic thanks or is that supposed to be in Amazon I'm a happy postman like thanks like thing because that seems less likely to me Did they leave it in a safe place?

Yeah, they just did their job Where's the safe space? No, but I set my safe space as like my back I think it's called back porch on the website It's the only option Yes, why your back door basically Yeah, but I had my back gate locked

Because of the dogs so I was like Oh are they saying Thanks sarcastically Because I had the back gate lock So they couldn't go through To leave it at the back of the house

Or is it like I'm just so Have a look Try and break this down for me Because this just driving me crazy Did he write thanks Where his name is supposed to go Or yours?

My name Your name Yeah Right Am I wrong Also it looks like You put an apostrophe He did put an apostrophe

Yeah, so thank Thank is Yeah Or a possessive Thank What do you think James What's your theory

Do you think that's like Aggression It could be Because it looks Kind of angrily written No yeah That's I'd say that's angry I'd say

That's you dick You've made me do more work But like really at the end of the day bottom line I didn't and this is a package that was already late so so it's like a day out of my life that like Amazon has failed me to get the package on the day I wanted it and then the postman got pissy at me for on the next day forgetting to unlock the gate is the the thing on the right as well is that

meant to be an exclamation mark. I think so. It seems like a rush job. What's your theory, Jim? It's hard to say. I'd say that's an angry one. And it makes sense. I'm with you, James.

I think that, I read that, I literally stood there and just looked at it for about five minutes because I was like, what does that mean? What did they intend by that? That's the thing. What communication was that? Alice's fucking plain resident evil looking at different. It could be, yeah.

It could be a genius. manoeuvre, like, because you can't complain, because he did say thanks, you know? But it's just, like, if he'd have said, uh, fuck you. You can complain. Like, you, you'd

immediately know what he meant. Mm-hmm. No, but that's what makes this even worse to me. Is the fact he has the out, or she, has the out. We're not sexist here on the cast, we know that there are some I've got a very nice, like, royal male woman post-

who's very friendly actually yeah the one that comes by my house so that means I'm not sexist because I said that because guys always comes out and he's like because he loves the attention but but that I can kind of get that because if he's not to

for certain um coyer services if you don't deliver the parcel to the person they don't get paid they don't get paid for delivering that parcel really yeah if they don't if they don't make a delivery for a parcel they do not get that paid why is that my problem is my

ultimate point yeah that's like I hate when people who are in a job that they hate like take it out on people on the wrong people yeah on the wrong people yeah like it's not your responsibility to make sure they get paid you know

if you hate the job that much stop doing it I guess like yeah yeah but not everyone has that opportunity Alex come on well in that in that case don't don't ruin my life by making me panic about this weird note. Throwing your life. You privileged motherfucker.

I have had fucking terrible experiences with this shit. The postman. The sooner we get drones, the better. No, that's going to make it worse. Because you can easily steal a drone. No, because they'll have some security thing. We'll have to get, like, nets installed

in our gardens that can, like, drop them down. But then, like, enemy drones will come in and, like, intercept. Oh, my God. Oh, it would be so complicated. A whole new level of... Piracy. Cock, yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. But my experience of them is terrible. I've experienced all of the major ones and the worst, by far, is UPS. It's actually disgusting. Castle Force is pretty bad as well. Okay, they've been bad for me, well, isn't it? But with UPS, they'll try to deliver it.

But, and to reschedule it, you have to, you have to make an account. on their own fucking website, which is... That's annoying. Shit. That's annoying. And then when you made your account, it won't think the parcel they're trying to deliver to you is yours.

So you can't actually reschedule it. And it got to the extent of their issues that they tried to send back a shipment back to Japan because they couldn't be asked to deliver it to me. They shipped it back to Japan. They almost did. I had to call their customer services

like the moment they told me their shipment back and was just like, what the fuck are you doing? This is a mess. Why don't houses have like an inbuilt, like, postman bit? Sort of like in America, the way they've got the post, what do you call them, a mailbox? And they, like, put the little thing up. But how do you stop people from getting into that? The same way Amazon has solved this very issue, where if you've got near you, they've got these, like, big containers with all these, like, drawers.

We have it in our town in the middle of it. Yeah, I actually tried it out recently just to see what it was like when I always. order something off Amazon and they just put it in this like locker and you get a code email to you and you go to the locker and you put the code in and then like a door goes and you pick up your parcel and then leave you see the issue with that is that um you couldn't have multiple companies that has to be like an amazon thing it would have to be amazon or it would have to be uPS right because they'd have to have a key to be able to open it in the first place yeah yeah it's a very first Then you'd have a monopoly.

I mean, is Amazon already not sort of a monopoly? Yeah, 100%. I was actually thinking about monopolies this week and getting really annoyed. Because I read this article and the whole monopoly of porn. Because of how porn hub has come to, like, massive success. It is literally...

So Pornhub is the monopoly, sort of... To the point where it's like, it's actually kind of scary because obviously the way Pornhub works is it has the distribution of like three tube sites and the big company's make it. And what that means is

obviously the people who make it don't get money because all the money's being funneled through to porn up and the CEOs. But it's like that's fucked basically from the get-go. It's literally fucked in some cases. Quite literally. But then it's like the porn stars and producers

they're not getting money and if they complain their whole career's ruined because they won't be put on the distribution sites. Yeah. That's a fucking horrifying monopoly where you literally cannot speak up against the fucking company. That's like communism level of like fucked.

It's fucking creepy. Pornhub is basically YouTube but for porn. Like there's no competitor to YouTube there ain't one. There's none people have tried, Vimeo tried what's it called? Daily Motion. Daily motion tried.

Like they're nothing. They're a blip on the radar to YouTube. Daily motion is just a porn tube though. What are the equivalents to porn hub? Ex-hamster. Ain't no one... That's no one's first... Brazzers? Brazzers.

No, but brazzers... Actually, no. I don't think Pornhub own browsers. I think they didn't win that one. But no, every... Every competitor to Pornhub is owned by Pornhub. All of those few websites, it's all Pornhub. It's fucked.

That's what capitalism leads to. Well, you mean a great website that's doing a great service to us all? No, because it's not. Yeah, like, free... It's the best service. There it is. Yeah.

In a lot of ways, it works better than... YouTube's no yeah no I straight up think it probably is better I've never made an account on have you ever made an account of porn hope James you don't need to never yeah like why would you why would you do that unless you wanted to try out premium let's see what premium I said about Donnie yeah what is premium all about uh high quality right you get you get your your shagging in high quality what like 4K HD HD 4K it's not about 4K it's not about 4K 60 frames

Yeah, 60 frames No, you just get See, for me I want my porn to be the worst Quality possible The more quality The more quality The worse it becomes to me

Where it's like This shit getting too real for me That's horrible That's why I don't even bother With 3D anymore I'm all about 2D hentai now I respect that Yeah

I'll be feeling that one Yeah I knew James agree, wasn't it, quite anticipating you agree with me as well? No, I wouldn't have if you hadn't have explained your point so

elegantly. Sucingly very good words. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, well. So in other nudes, oh my God, that was such a Freudian. In other nudes. In other news.

say that yeah and i noticed it too that wasn't one of the ones where i was like no i didn't say that and then the like five minutes of you can we talk about that for a minute what when somebody says like it's bish and chips right and everyone's like you said bish and chips and that one person is like no i said fish and chips no i believe that you think you said fish and chips but yeah like you not here in reality in the world that we actually live in you said bish and chips you It's obvious you said fish and you meant fish and chips. Yeah. So who's in the wrong?

Is it the person refuting it? It's like, what's the point? Is it an ego thing? Like, I'm never wrong. I would never say bish and chips. You know? Is that an example you've heard? No, it's not an example I've heard.

That's a great name for this episode. I'm right. Bish and chips. Yeah, because the other person, like, they got nothing to add. really you're just you're just delaying a conversation you're grinding it to a hole what do you mean to be a dick what the person proving the reality the person proving bitch I'm saying oh it's nicest bish and chips ever like instead

of being like oh right really what was nice about them yeah and like continuing the comment you're grinding it to a hole and you're changing it to be like no no because Because there are times when it's like, what? What did you say? What did you mean? And that's acceptable. No, I think they're both acceptable. Because if you say something wrong, you're the one that said it wrong.

Whether you know you said it wrong or wrong. Okay, how about this way? If you're the one that said something wrong, then it's bad. But if you're the one who hears someone saying something wrong and you correct them, then it's good. That's exactly what I am saying. There you go. But in other nudes. Bish.

Did you guys see, we all love Little Pump? Bish, Bish, Bish. We're big fans, not Little Pump. Little Pump. Did I say Little? I didn't say Little Pump. Little Pump.

That little prick. Little Plump. Do you see the video of him being bitten by a snake, right? No. No. I swear, the little pump has been circling around us for quite some time, though, I swear. You joking me? You didn't see this video? No.

Did he hurt the snake? Also, why was he bitten by a snake? So, I don't know the full story. There's this, like, really... I'm sorry, I'm going to have to say it, douchey. Really douchey, like, I think there's a Snapchat video from his Snapchat or something, where he's like... It looks like he's sat on a stage for...

some music video or some kind of production and there's like some stairs in the background and he sat on the stairs and someone goes to hand him a fucking snake and it goes for him and it bites him bites him on the hand and he like shows it to the camera he's like well there's emward snake emware bit me mward and it's like is that what race is that guy I thought he was Hispanic person he's normal he's normal find out? Little Pump. I'm pretty sure he's like

Mexican. Because he's got like a really Mexican name. Little Pump. Yeah, it doesn't sound very Mexican. He has often criticized for his behavior seen on social media as one of his top sort of tags. Yeah, I wonder why he does that.

Nationality American, I wasn't to say. He was born in Florida. He's a Florida. And he can, he can. God, he's 19. Don't say... What? He's 19.

He was born in 2000. He's a 2000 boy. Yeah. What the fuck? And he looks older than all of us combined. That's because he's done so much fucking drugs and shit. That's strange because it's like, I'm almost, I am four years old than him. That's fucking scary, like, actually a bit...

That is weird. He is also known for... So basically... I'd fuck him if he was in prison. And we were both in prison. Yeah. He'd get fucking... Fucked by me.

Birth name. His birth name is Gazi Garcia. Garcia, that's Hispanic. Yeah. Yeah, I always thought he was Hispanic, but I'm struggling to see it. I know, he literally fucking... His parents are Spanish. Spanish.

Not Spanish. Fucking... Hispanic. Yeah. Yeah. parents are from Columbia right that's it okay are Hispanic people allowed to say the M word well clearly no no yeah that's true dude sorry so Jim why'd you do that into the mic don't be you sat here this entire car is just farting and burping

constantly. Why are Hispanic people allowed to say the N-word? They're not. Why aren't they? No, they are. If a little pumpkin get away with it. Why aren't they, Jims? Why is anyone allowed to say it?

Look, I'll play the audio down the mic while you guys watch it. It's only 20 seconds, so bear with us. No, you're serious got the M-Roy? Come out of here, man. Hey, get the fuck out of me. You're crazy shit Hey Yo, I just got beat by a snake

I got beat by a snake Let me get the foot of you Hey Every Every bleep in that Was him saying the end word So it was quite a few times Thoughts

I hope the snakes are right Yeah they They seem to be to launch it Yeah they're like manhandling this snake and it's like this sucks and by this stinky guy who's really annoying and loud

and rude I'm gonna bite him I want to get rid of this guy snake I mean obviously it's not like a venomous no because you're panicking a bit more what's the desire of all these like

fucking sound clown fucking talentless rappers and they're just desire to do music videos with fucking dangerous animals yeah i thought they just cg them in um like fucking wild cats so they can have like an article ew uh little pump touch the snake really dangerous so he can say like yeah for clouds he can be like yeah hey and i want to touch my snake yeah that's probably the lyric in the song yeah surely that's the i bet you it is my snake's so huge makes me want to he doesn't he doesn't

sound as cool as that. Yeah, true. Who can do the most pathetic little pump voice? You have to do it in like a high bitch. My snake's so huge. My snake's so giant. I definitely can't.

I reckon, James, give it a try. My snake's so huge. Yeah. Jim? My snake's so giant. My snake's so huge. He's the one that's on the, you're such a fucking hell, I love it. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Little plump. That'll be a better name. And he's also the one that's like a dick that just goes around being an asshole and that's how you got famous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not much respect for that. No, he's just a crowd chaser.

More like a snake chaser. okay i hope that snakes are white if not i'm taking i'm taking them down yeah the the the video after that one was him like beating it to death and yeah everyone just like yeah kill it and get revenge with it he's got a catchphrase apparently is it the end word um snap personal padlock oh No, let me tell you his catchphrase. Is it Snap or? I don't know what the fuck is known.

He is known for shouting his catchphrase. Esquited. A shortened version of Let's Get It. A Skev it? Eskitty. It's a shortened version of Let's Get It. Yes, get it. Yee, he's get it.

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang. It's good song. Good song, I love it. We all like that on the, on the cast. I was hoping for a bit more of force from that one. That was kind of a... I didn't want it to cause... Why have we entered this ear of jar?

It's fucking gross. What? This ear of jar. It's not. Esquetti ate. Spaghetti. You don't call spaghetti. Spaghetti?

It's gay. No, it's not Getty. Yeah, no, it is now. It's gay. I want some Getty. It's gay. Getty. It's spaghetti.

It's not spag. Spaghetti. Gelly. Spaghetti. Can I have some galley, please? Spaghetti. Spaghetti, please. Sort of all I've got, really.

Spaghetti shit, might I add? Spaghetti is the worst pasta. Boom, boom, boom. I think spaghetti's good. No, it's not. Wait, you just said... What, tell me what you just said. Spaghetti.

Oh, he's, he's, you hate spaghetti. Spaghetti is the worst fucking pasta. That's, but Jim made you a spaghetti meal and you're like, yeah, you were like, this is the best spaghetti I've ever had in my life. The best spaghetti I've ever seen. It was. Because you're, oh, that makes it so much worse. Your expectations were so low. I could have done anything and it would have been the best skettie you ever seen.

No. it was generally the best skater yet it was a best pastor ever how you doing your pastor so good to see you he's not italian i didn't do you don't know pirate ooh ah oh oh ah do you want to talk about oh oh oh oh okay yeah i'll talk about oh yeah let's do it let's do it Seriously? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it right here right now. Let's just go... Why the fuck you're...

I'm getting warm so I had to release my feet. Why the fuck is your toe? What are you laughing? He's laughing at your toe. What's so funny? Isn't my weird dwarf thing? My conjoined toes. It makes my toes look tiny.

Why the fuck is your toes so fucking huge? Your big toe? No, it's my smaller toes that look tiny. No, your big toe is fucking massive. Really? Like, white. It is wide. It's really round.

Really? For those listening, Alex just took his sock off and revealed his toes. And James was very amused by the shape of the big toe. What the fuck? Now, because there's the huge big toe and then the tiny tots like adjoined. They're all fucking he. Huge! Like, look at my toe! It's normal! Yeah, your...

Wait, can you like angle it? No, look, that's like straight. You know? Yours goes like... No, no, do you not see my conjoined toes? No, I see your conjoined toes. Do I have the same toe? Like I'm black my feet are.

Not like... All right, little pump, Jesus. I didn't... It's from the sock juice Wait, let me see your toe So that's what toes Is supposed to look like No, mine's fucked

No, yours are normal compared to mine Mine are like joined Properly Yeah, you're less evolved than me Alex, how big are your feet And my hands do the same thing Alex, you're a, you're part frog My hands look way smaller than they are

Because I'm like weird joined fingers I'm a freak Really How big are you? feet see look how high the skin is in between my hands it's fucking weird that's no different from mine no look sorry if you're listening but I'm whatever no how big you feet the size 9 I've got size close to 11 feet because they're fucking flippered they're fucking gross yeah because my feet I can't swim

what but I'm a good swimmer I'm like this big chunk you fucking frog I'm a bull frog yeah it's swimming through the ocean A snapping turtle. I prefer bullfrog. I prefer snapping turtle, I'm afraid. Because snapping turtle implies that I'm sort of like aggressive. Yeah, you are. Which you are.

Okay. You're, I know, I can't, I can't get over your fucking big toe. Your, your, your non-big toes are really long. That's fucking freakishly long. It's fucking gross. That's like the size of my little finger. Are you sure it's not like an optical illusion though? Because my other toes are so joined, they look like,

little M&Ms or something They're freaking big of the NEM&M side. Can you eat little cocktail sausages? Digger, digger, dig it. My fuck, no, look how big that fucking, that fuck goes there. That is huge. It's weird. I think the other one's actually worse. Oh, is that worse? We're really, like, placating to those fetishists who, like, watch the cast.

Look, look, look, look how, it's the most as big as my big toe. That's, that's apparently a masculine, feminine thing, Depending on, wait, that might be fingers. Yeah, I thought that was fingers. What is it about fingers? But, I mean, yeah, we back after these messages. Sorry, if you're listening.

Christ, imagine trying to suck Alex's big toe. What? Weird thing to think about it. No, Alex, his... Your mouth would be just full. Yeah, dude. Alex... No, that toe is huge.

This one. Yeah. Alex, people are penis as big... It's thinner than your toe. It's huge. It's fucking huge. It's not like long It's just white

You ever chose a toe Yeah It's like It's like It's like bulbous Yeah It's your other foot the same I'm just I'm just analyzing this now

Yeah Yeah But it looks extra weird because of the the big toe being so chunky and my other toes being like so conjoined oh this normally like there's sort of a line you know like like a graph that curves what do you mean the gap what the fuck are you talking about the gap between your No, no, look, the gap between those two is higher than the makeup. Look, normally it's like that, but his going up, but his going up.

Is their bone? let me feel no because I can feel the the separate like tendons well that that would always be the case but it's like how weird that looks no that definitely

means that there's toe beneath skin do you know what I mean there's bone like like your skeleton doesn't match up with your flesh what what do you mean

it's like if your hand was like joined there yeah but that's what I have no my hand literally does do that see I just got the weirdest fucking feet I've ever seen you see that day

like normal fucked normal Fuck It's like My hand would look way bigger But the skin No

Why looks the same? No, no, no, no No, no No, no, no, no, no, because look When I do that, you can see These two middle ones It's way higher than the gaps in the other ones. It's not as obvious though on your hand

It's not as obvious My hands look tiny as well No, yours isn't because of the skin join You just say I know of tiny hands No, look, we probably have the same size hands No, no, Alex is about bigger hands. It's the tiny hand gene, dude.

Tiny hands, big ass. Yeah. Take your pick. Why do you even need hands when you have an ass, like the beltman ass? Yeah. Fucking do everything in your ass. Eating dinner?

Ass. Eat an ass? Dinner. Aldi, partner, me Augie, me have shirts for sale. Check the description below. Augie suck. Agi, Augie suck. No wonder why Agi loves Alex's feet so much.

There's a lot of flesh to... Is there a lot of flesh or is they're just... They're sort of... Whatever. Doit, doit. Welcome to the second part of the jarcast Where we answer questions from the community Normally we had it over to Reddit

For a suggestion thread there However our Reddit's having some issues Some technical difficulties It seems to be recurring a problem at the moment So we've instead We're responding to Twitter Comments this time Hello

It's quite nice to mix it up Because it's like a different group of people If you want to If you want to leave a question, please send IHE a message through Twitter. Don't do that. Tweet at JAR Media. Or tweet at Ruben? Yeah, tweet at Rubin.

Yeah, tweet at Rubin. And... No, continue, Jim. Please finish what you're going to say. Also, tweet at Angry Joe. And... Uh... The... The...

video game theorists one. We have a good question actually from at A Z-T-C-Z-L Tom something about finding your sense in fashion would be interesting. Was there any specific events that led up to you deciding

what you want to look like? I think I've ever answered that question before. No. I was playing Metal Gear Solid Phantom Bane and I was like, No this is now my look Yeah, this guy looks cool Yeah

What about I'm interested in clothing though specifically Because I can pretty much Put down I can put it all down to Rubin Pretty much

He advised me Right because like I didn't I genuinely could not have cared less about things like that at all I haven't really cared about getting haircuts about dressing myself in any fashionable way whatsoever didn't care until I was about I guess 21 really where Rubin like just yeah just just help me I guess because I brought it up to him I guess I must have been like Like, I can't, like, wear this, like, these brown shoes I've been wearing, like, since secondary school. Like, I've got to do something now.

What shall I buy? And Rubin, he's into all the fashion and all that stuff, so he could advise me. And he was like, look, first get a haircut. Go get hair cut. I did that. I was like, and it all started with the haircut. Because I just didn't get my haircut, really. I was, like, one of those kids, you know.

They wore their sports, like, PE kit too high. Like, just didn't, just, like, living in your own universe. Yeah. Not, like, caring about what other people think, but also kind of caring, a weird state to be in. And now it's sort of settled where it's like, I'm not obsessed with, like, fashion in the same way. I kind of care about it more.

And I do like a nice pair of shoes, a nice, I like jackets. Jackets are my favorite clothing accessory. Yeah, me too. Because it kind of, it ties everything together to me. Like the jacket makes or breaks an outfit, which means in summer it can be a struggle because you ain't wearing jackets much in summer. And all the best jackets are winter jackets, of course. Like James, he's got his sort of autumnal winter jacket and it looks very smart.

And it just, you know what I mean? You know, you just feel like, yeah, I'm smart right now because of my jacket. Because I wear clothes that suit it for work. So it's just like it bobs with my... Yeah, because that's what I first started doing was like, yeah, I just wear shirts. I wore white shirts all the time. I wore a lot of plaid. You talk from shirt shirts, not T-shirts.

Shirt shirts, not T-shirts, yeah. Both these shirts. Well, those are T-shirts that you're wearing. Oh, shit. I mean, like a work shirt. that sort of thing I just wear that and because those are kind of an easy it's like an easy win yeah yeah you have to think they look smart looks decent no matter what and back then I was so skinny that like I could just wear anything so I would always just wear stuff like that and I had those

like really skinny jeans there's an really old jar cast where it starts with like a close-up on my legs and they're so ridiculously skinny compared to what they are now yeah it's not natural for a beltman I don't know what I was doing wrong I'm pretty sure you weren't saying beltman earlier way that wasn't on the cast

what the toe conversation's on the cast yeah I'll put that in but but yeah what was I saying about shirts you were saying your legs

were ridiculously skinny yeah but there's like a reason that like female models there were as a certain look to there's a certain type of body to them because clothes look best on a certain

physique typically in like the fashion industry so I enjoyed playing around with that kind of thing I've kind of gone back to kind of caring less and less and less about that sort of thing because it's just I honestly it's exhausting it is but

you want to look or in my opinion I try to look as good as possible with the least amount of effort. Yeah, that's a good mantra. Yeah, yeah. So that can involve buying expensive pieces of clothing, like, trousers, jeans, whatever. But, like, if they look good, they look good, you know? I didn't start caring until I was about 18.

And I didn't really... choose my look, but my look chose me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Laziness defines my look. I wish I had the confidence

to wear just the comfiest things. You know? Right. There are people that are just like... In saying that, though, there was something very liberating about when we discovered the ponchos. I was enjoying the fact that in our town, like

that was a unique concept. Yeah. and like people everyone everyone like look to you it wasn't like a normal like you're just no one and no one caring about

no fucking jeans and t-shirt bullshit this is genuine like I'm scared of what I'm seeing this is odd we literally the three of us had people literally turn around and walk in the other direction

because we were wearing ponchos basically they were down that aisle looking for stuff they saw three of us walk on the corner wearing ponchos and just like oh shit and then we went for a dog walk and we're wearing ponchos and there was like a group of people in the distance and they walked away they turned around and walked away because they probably thought we were a danger for some reason or um drugies or something i don't know the thing is i would associate a poncho mostly with a stoner yeah and out of all the drugs I think a stoner is the least lethal

yeah because if you want to defeat a stoner you just go and they'll probably have a panic attack you've got a panic attack yeah that is a real thing though around here in Wiltshire specifically there's like this real fear of um of things like that so my style right kind of just don't have it

I'd say most of the time you go for smart yeah I try to look smart not smart casual straight up smart James has the extremes though because other times it's just like

your shorts that are held together with like string and the t-shirt there's bidness James and there's car James Yeah, literally The fucking

One of the videos I was quite literally Went oval From working on my cars Like James For example What's the What's the

Longest Running piece of clothing That you've owned And still wear to this day Is it those beige shorts Because those are Those are James classics Yeah They are

They are quite Yeah How old roughly Probably when I was 14, 15 at least try and keep them for a decade and then get them like framed and put them on your wall

when they're just I've gone through two cable ties trying to keep them together they've got oil stains it's just like I can stop him that's the difference between you and me if I need to get a cable tie

to repair my shorts it's like no they're done I'm getting new shorts now but James he's like Where's the cable ties? I'm in between, though. These very genes were split at the groin. And I took them to like a famous knitter.

Knitted them to a repaired state. Knitted them to a repaired state. Yes. I try to get the most use out of things. It's not because I'm cheap, it's just like, I can still wear them. That's kind of like a led. and, like, you know, sort of mindset, you know? Yeah.

And I still wear them out. I still wear them on the jarcast. And you can tell, because the fucking cable ties, like, bite pink. Yeah. I can't hate it. No, are they the same ones that have a massive gang in the ass? Yeah, what was it? We're walking around Tesco.

And I said to you, Jim, like, there's just a huge... Yeah. You said, like, does James know that everyone can just see his ass? I forgot I wore them that They forgot about the fucking huge hole In my one butt cheek But it looks like someone Has gotten a razor

And just sliced it perfectly Sideways It almost looks intentional Yeah It's kind of cool I think Yeah with rips Do you know

Do you want to know how I did it Squats Oh my fucking God Why are you doing it in like khakis Yeah why not just Take it off your trousers I don't know But do you know

That reminds me me because when I get home, I need a cable tie the hole. Okay. Those, they're going to last a decade because now that they're that extent, it's like, I just, I do car stuff with them because they're kind of fucked. Don't throw them out though. Instead of, if you get to them, if you get that idea in your head that you want to throw them out, give them to me, I'll get them framed to put them in the jar room. How much just my, my shit from like years ago, so we end up framed in the jar. Tom from the JAR Media After Show has this to say

What would you say is the moment From your childhood that defines you today Uh, dying Excuse me That he died Well, I fucking drowned, didn't I? And I ran into a wall Yeah, cat slash your eye

Just, my childhood, just everything Pain defines your childhood then Yeah Pain and suffering It defines my adulthood as well. Childhood moment. Aside from my very first memory, which I talked about a few weeks ago.

Doesn't really define me, though, does it? It's being on a swing set. Or the death slide. That doesn't really define me either. This is, like, I want to feel as though I am, there is more to me than one moment

one yeah you know from your childhood especially where everything is so vapid and you know like back then it's not like what about a moment where you were like no I'm

I'm going to stand up no that would be the opposite of my personality I'm a I'm a roll over and just take it please oh just oh please you know I have a memory of the first time I got properly in trouble in primary school

because I was standing near someone who was bullying someone I was nothing to do with it but they were they were bullying someone and I was standing near them so when the bully got in trouble I was lumped in with the bully and there was like another person as well and I remember being sat there because I had to see the head teacher I think I was year year four roughly maybe and I was sat it was reading time everyone was reading and I was like I couldn't focus on my story time I couldn't hungry caterpillar or whatever the fuck I was reading I couldn't I was so stressed I was like what's actually going to happen I've never been in trouble before like what's going to happen like I've never had to interact with the

head teacher in any way that isn't just yeah you're well behaved well done so I was like no maybe that was the moment I developed anxiety like big time because I can't handle this I can't I can't deal with this and I was like I'm that's such a vivid memory to me because I remember the moment I was like told like okay time to go to the headmaster what was head yeah head master right even if it's a woman was it

head mistress I don't think it's either the head teacher is what we call it oh yeah yeah head master that's some Harry Potter shit you fucking crazy head mistress yeah there's some Harry Potter bullshit going on

see that's the opposite I got in trouble so often there's just like okay here you go again but that war was like the walk of shame to that office and she was like

so what did you do I need to tell a certain story before I fucking forget go ahead I'm done this is this is fucking weird like I just had a flashback

just that moment um so I was in reception So how old are you in reception? One. Five. You're not one. One.

Four or five. So I needed to go to the loo. This is one we lived in Jersey. Which is a little island off... I think it's closer to France than it is. Yeah, but we own it, so... Yeah, so ours. I needed to go to the loo.

and I thought I could save some time if I just got my dick out right now right because the teacher had let me leave the classroom and I was like on my way to the live

and I was like I'm gonna whip my dick out there's nobody around like I'm not in the classroom I'm free so I sort of like got my dick out and just held it in my hands like hiding it

while walking yeah while walking to the bathroom I'm like this is gonna save so much time I can go back and play quicker yeah yeah so I'm on the way and this year six kid was like stood just there

and he was he said like you're not at the bathroom yet yeah and I was like yeah and just kept going went into the to the

to the to the Lou did my stuff and was like I mean it did save time but what was it worth you know it was worth an incredible memory that defined your life is that what defines me Jim's new monster was just get your dick out no

that's why I couldn't be a teacher at primary school it would be too funny yeah because the kids that age are so innocent that was a weird thing like I reckon if a teacher had seen me that would have scarred me for life because they probably would have like reacted ridiculously maybe maybe but

when I was that young I had a real thing with authority like their word is might as well be God yeah yeah like that's severe cringe but the fact that it was this like I remember that the kids said it was like

a half smile like he found it funny but he didn't want to be a dick that's interesting to me Because how old are you in year six? 10, 11? Yeah. There's someone in Jersey right now watching a Jarkast like, oh shit.

I wonder if we do ever. Do you think anyone in Jersey, the tiny little island, the 12 mile long island, has ever listened to the Jarkas? Yeah, fuck yeah. You're that confident. If you're from Jersey and you're listening to this. There's like three people that live there.

Yeah. um there is another memory though oh my god like the one you were talking about um where i i got in trouble for saying like two words in the in the line waiting for our lunch right right yes back when we got the lunch meals with school and uh i said like two words and this one fucking lunch lady that to this day i think is a shitty person and should not work in schools. If you're that miserable of a person, and you hate children. Get a job where you don't have to interact with anyone. You know? Yeah. Like just, especially children. Yeah.

Because they're going to grow up to hate you and go be a family guy writer or something like that. Yeah. Just some worthless job. She sent me out to sit in like the corridor leading up to the lunch hall and I'd seen other kids there before who were always like

yeah I'm a cool kid I'm I kind of broke the rules and stuff yeah yeah and they were just sat there and then I get sent out to like the prison of primary school and our mother was working at that school yeah a teacher's assistant at the time and she like happened to just be walking through the hall at that very moment that I was sat there and I was told to sit out there for five minutes and it felt like I was sat there for an hour

I was so panicked and like and then I see my mum and I'm like oh nice not nice I was like shit she's gonna see I've fucked up and I'm gonna get it now and I just started crying like uncontrollably I fucking broke down she was like holy shit

what is going on and this is all because of that horrible horrible lunch lady you i bet you know exactly i know i know exactly you i'm talking about fucking bitch i think i know i hope she sees this because i fucking hate her and she'll know who she is because she's a bad person she's got demons yeah and i'm one of them all right next question my defining moment would be being fans of Jim

because that like set me on the course of being a fucking prick being like a normal person literally that is my defining moment I have multiple like defining James moments but so do I I was about to go into some of those James is a very characterful character

yeah because for me James was like this urban legend because I'd never met him and Jim Jim would come home and he'd describe James to me and i had all these like crazy stories about james and all these things you did i remember in like year two one day just saying to alex like james is my arch nemesis no i remember that yeah that was the actual word i used because like i was all into superheroes and shit like yeah because you're in superheroes and james was into like war like

yeah real war and cars and planes but there was this one thing you were was one thing you would always do to like describe him it was like and you said it really bugged you and it was the way he would play um like army or whatever the fuck and he'd like you described the way he would shoot a gun and the way he did it was really annoying because he had like his head right down or something some weird some weird detail that was like I'm remembering this now because yeah do you know what i reckon it is i reckon you had played a call of duty game yeah and seen the animations from that game and were imitating them yeah yeah that would be it yeah and because it was like an old game you were doing these like

weird sprints and stuff around the playground and i was like what is this guy doing because i like i wouldn't have even fucking played a video game of that caliber yeah you'd probably still be on Pokemon he's going yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah That's crazy Like I haven't thought about that In a long time All that time

I think I did something embarrassing In front of the entire class and stuff Just there's so many I was a fucking mess in primary school I was just like the most troubled Like fucking knob of a kid I remember You were sort of like

you don't really know where you stand with James yeah back then it was like that was just the case yeah one minute an enemy next minute a friend yeah yeah so by the time I met him there were so many stories

but by the time I'd like been normal I've been with actual friends with Jim for so long that it was just like I was normal yeah and then I met you and it was just like oh fuck what world is it dynamic yeah there was some like

but when you go into secondary school because there are so many more people coming in like James like it was nothing compared to some of the like new characters that came in some of them were just especially at the school we went to

like some match with some real nutters like real deranged people well I found out just the other the other week that a kid in our year brought a handgun to school

like an actual fucking gun like it's deactivated but still it was like a real gun yeah like this school is not the school you want to send your kids

you know yeah we got stories though as a result. That school is so fucking shit. I mean, fuck. Yeah,

like a lot of people like I listen to podcasts of like these happy Americans that are like, yeah, you rock on and they say the name of their school and they're like so passionate about it.

Yeah. I'm just like, wish I could be in your shoes, dude. It went to a fucking shit old. I read it every day. No, it was actually that bad, though.

No, like that's the reason I just stopped. going. I remember the fucking last day of like year 11. It was just like, we were just like, this fucking ride home as fast as possible let's just fucking one away from this shit. And I never fucking returned.

That was my last day I was done. And then you just fucking gave up. Yeah. Yeah, because I remember once going into an assembly. and like you'd know him one of the biggest chavs in all of the school he was in my year and he had one of those like temporary tattoos and I just happened to be the wrong place wrong time and he just like flung his arm round and slapped one of those temporary tattoos right on my face so it's like instantly like solders to your face and you peel it off and you've

just got like this ridiculous tattoo of some bullshit that some sweetie you probably bought and I remember that's another memory like in those disgusting toilets in um like the gym or whatever in the boys changing room in the boys changing room going into the bathroom and just like washing my

face of this like stupid tattoo and being like I remember that smell of that room yeah people actually fucking showered in those fucking changes I remember one kid did and it was like everyone just stopped

stopped and turned, like... Because he actually showered. This kid is... is showering naked, just like... Wait, wait, wasn't it the person you bought in the gun? No, no, I swear. I remember you guys telling me a story about someone in one of your P-E classes who, like, sat down and, like, his entire dick just fell out.

Were you there? No, I was in the other way. Yeah, I was there. Yeah. He was wearing, obviously, really loose boxes, along with really loose shorts. And he was just, he was sat cross, cross-legged like I am right now, and I think he, he was just looking at the teacher listening to him, and I guess he had a hard on. Oh, really? Yeah, and like, you could just see it.

Well, he didn't notice. Who didn't notice? The kitty? I mean, he couldn't have. Otherwise, he would have, like, tried to hide it or something, like. Unless he's, like, a weird pervert. Yeah. No, but like, I remember looking and just being, like, is this for real right now?

And then I heard through Ruben that somebody else that happened to be in my class had told Ruben that they'd seen this kid's dick. And I was like, thank fuck I'm not the only one that saw this, because this is a core memory now. I don't know how, like, I'm so acutely aware of what my winky is doing at all times. I don't know how... I'm sure he knew that he was erect, but he didn't know that it was... No, but even, like, the sensitivity to the different temperatures,

like, it's going to feel different if it's loose and out there. Like, the wind's going to be, like, it's going to be all different. To be fair, it was inside. Did you never do that thing when, in your changes that you're trying to get, you get out of your trousers into your shorts as quickly as possible? I did that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was one time, I'm pretty sure I'm a dick fell out.

Do you think people have stories of you? Yeah, he probably does, but he doesn't talk to us anymore. it's messed up dude well that's sort of it man um do you don't want to rant about bullies for a little bit

nah we did that in the other 192 episodes me and chazin we are the bullies yeah oh I forgot to thank the patrons god I'm useless

oh good job Alex sorry well thanks to the patrons praise be you know we appreciate you and it's just more juicy memories for you to indulge you thanks thanks for listening or watching

we'll see you on the next one bye bye oh I can get my cock out now