JAR Media Posdact - BJÖRNBRÖDER - JARCAST Episode 142

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen of the JARME, this is the JAR Media. Wozdaq. Episode 1 for 2, the meaning of life. Is it? No. No, it's not. That's 1-6 something, isn't it?

No, I thought it was 4 to you something. Anyway, this is the weekly show. Well, we're just coming on in, and I'm your host. I'm your host Alex, and I'm only joined by Jim over here. Your boy, J.B. This week, as most people call me. Because James is too scared to be on this episode, he said. Yeah, we're going to get into some real important and difficult to discuss topics.

So James sort of opted out. We just said to him, look, James, you're not invited. to this one, I'm afraid. Before we move on, I'd like to thank the patrons over at JAR Media Patreon. They make the show possible. Yeah, a huge thank you.

They make the Spotify and iTunes stuff awesome and Possa Bell. So head over there if you want to support the show and keep us going. Ah, there you go, that's that bit out of the way. How are we feeling on this fine day?

We've got another brokast on our hands. This must be the third or fourth one. Maybe more than that, isn't it? Yeah, that was that time James wasn't on and Rubin wasn't on for a while. We already have the name of the episode decided. Bjorn Broder. Yep.

Bjorn Broder is the name of the episode. A.k.a. Brother Bear for those who are initiated. Brother Bear in some hurgy-durgy language. Yeah, one of the hergs or dergs. Ask Reuben, he'll know. He's an expert in that kind of thing. He's a Heurg-Dierg expert. And we haven't done

Le Meme chat for quite a while. Yeah, this is true. I saw one comment saying, oh, because we're never doing it again. Yeah, I think I saw the exact same comment, and I was like, okay. But then I saw another comment last week saying, when are you going to do a meme chat on this?

And then it was like, okay, we got to return. So, Jim, take it away, bro. Take it away. I've been sort of, I was a bit of a meme junkie while we were doing meme chat This is heavy It was sort of put me in a bad place

You know Yeah When you're going down a road That Padmay can't follow You realise things need to change So I've been reeling it back I've been This is a better metaphor

For reeling in memes from Instagram Just cast them out Yeah Okay, let's say I'm metaphorically casting my rod out at the moment. What am I receiving if I'm reeling in the hook? Uh, brer sound effect, probably. To those who don't know, you're saying, B-R-U-H, sound effect. Brer, sound effect.

Number two. Yeah. Now, this isn't a new meme by any means. Just the current one that's in the stratosphere. Yeah, the meme is, um, you do anything and I have something and just have the sound effect. brer okay so just like most memes then sort of force it into anything it's even less um tactile i wouldn't say it's more tactile you can just put it into anything like with with for example the sky rim one the joke is the um destruction it has to be someone being being destroyed

right just another light in it yeah just the polished if you will okay but um with brer you can have some other meme like I was showing you an X X Tentatian one earlier I just in there yes yeah that's about it okay that one's going back in the river throwing that one back shit that's you get it out real little fish yeah I'm good thing just throw it to argue who'll eat it okay the rod's gone well the line has gone back in what's coming back this time surely it's the tomska one oh yeah we haven't i didn't the last time we did it we haven't mentioned there's two tomsker there's two tomska ones are there yeah we'll talk about the

muffin one second in the secondarily let's get into this pie one so for those who don't know there's a schmo shmo yoho is that what they're called yeah you're if you're at least Was they been on the internet for a long time? They were big? They must still be big now. They did the hide your kids, hide your wife. They were fucking huge though. They did the Charlie Sheen winning song.

Yeah, I loved that Charlie Sheem winning song. You'd just have it on. I'm trying to fucking just sit down and play some Minecraft. But no, we've got to have Charlie Sheen winning. Winning. Winning. I have won gear, go. Epic winning.

Yeah, they're potentially, their most famous one, the double rainbow. God, yeah. I wonder if those are going to be memed in the future. We're sort of in a post-ironic thing at the moment where I was saying earlier, the things that tend to be memed the hardest are things from our generation's childhood. And that includes that kind of cringy early internet days kind of stuff. So.

But anyway. What was it called the pie, the pie bit? Should we reenact it right now? I don't really know it very well. Oh, okay. Something like, scrap that then. Pie. It's cringy as fuck.

Me want some cherry pie. Tom Ska, everyone knows, makes some random, random epic comedy videos. He's been doing the ASDF movies. ASTF for a while. Again, not quite as long as Shmo Yoho have been big, I don't think. It's around. No, the first ASTF movie came out many years.

Yeah. I remember when it came out and everyone loving it. I remember everyone loving it. Even when I was a kid. Yeah. I didn't like it. Yeah, I didn't either. I was like, oh well, throw the cheese. Okay. Hmm. What's like really out here with his, I'm really out here with my throw the cheese hatred. Well, do you remember pre-jar, pre-even R&L games? Yeah. We made that video. Yeah. Um, what normal people think of Tomska, which is the complete. It's just, you know, it's just, you know, it's just. just wrong calling it that yeah it's awful name for the video for a start yeah it's what abnal it's what freaks think of tomska what edge lords think yeah edge lords who think they're better and funnier um and we had james do it for some reason so james and you james and me so the whole point was just i like trains famous quote from from a video was that man man boy boy that was a man man Boy Boy Original. Fuck me. Anyway, back to memes.

Yeah, people are catching on to how unfunny these jokes are. And I like Trains was a big Tomsker thing. Is it Tom Skat or Tom Scott? I call him Tomska. So kind of in the middle. If I say it wrong, whatever. I don't think it matters that much. No hate towards the boy himself, but ASDF movies sucks.

There you go. Anyway, I keep getting fucking distracted. trains yeah there was an i like trains song and that started the as d f movie songs and honestly they did one about a turtle blowing up as well mine mine turtle yeah was that before or after a like trains anyway it doesn't fucking matter they're cringy not funny songs that uh in instagram videos i guess well now they're sort of being um dissected in the mind's eye and it crosses over with TikTok because people sing to these songs on TikTok and it's cringy and I think that's how they came into the meme stratosphere as you put it

because this this one girl that also did that Japanese TikTok video and she did a muffin song which you have a theory about I have a theory about the muffin song but we'll get there in a second right because you said there's two parts is the muffin song and there's the the pie one is dog shit the pie one it started off as just people like whoa look how cringy this is two dudes doing a tic-tock thing like dancing to the pie song and they're they're just the fucking worst people i've ever seen they are awful but the but the pie bit and the muffin bit are from the same song yes but because it's tic-tok you only get seven seconds of each yeah oh boy what flavor pie pie pie pie it's cringe as

fuck and it's not even we've we overuse as a generation the word cringe yeah I always I hate using the word personally yeah but god damn is it awful okay it could bring a alpha male

beefy ass cool dude like such as I to tears for just how awful it is one salty tear has been shed so you dislike both of them um you're not a fan of the memes or anything no i mean the the the pie one as far as it's gone

is um the original video which people look at and they're like man this sucks and then they just do that effect where like their faces become shrunken and then it becomes tone deaf it's like great job you've put a fucking snapchat TikTok whatever filter over it a lot of effort for your and then you're content aware scale it and then yeah and then that's it's like fuck you yeah pretty at least

combine it with something mm-hmm like make it your own instead of just doing what everyone else does when a new when a new one comes out yeah so my theory my theory about the muffin song right yeah goes as follows um i don't know how far off base i am with this one or if it's just completely uh i think you're completely off base so my theory right this the lyrics of the muffin song go i'm a muffin i want to die right it's ooh i'm a muffin dibby ditty muffin time um i want to die please somebody eat me i just want to die yeah so when i first saw the video without any of the context around it i just assumed oh tom skir because i'd never seen it before yeah i thought tom sker had created some

kind of metaphorical ASDF kind of thing that was like a weird deconstruction of his own mind because you know it's it's out there that he's had problems with his weight hence the muffin yeah muffin time and and also problems with you know depression anxiety that type of thing hence the I want to die so I thought he'd combined the two ideas into the song but then you tell me Schmo Yoho just did a remix of old clips from ASDF movies so it's from the later this ASDF movie and it is uploaded to Tom Ska's channel. But, um, you see,

you're digging way too deep into this. The logic is the thing singing is a muffin and it wants to be eaten because it's a muffin. Therefore, die. That's the, that's as deep as it is. You know, I just wanted to, you know, find some

meaning to it. I think it, we would, I don't know if it was last night or the night before. We were playing Red Dead online. Just having a gay old time. Yeah, being gay. And then I sing that song. Yeah.

For you and Reuben. And you're like, you know that's about Tomska being... Well, you said, you know that's about him being depressed and fat. And I was like, what the fuck do you want about? And then I was like, no, it's from ASTF. And then I stopped and was like, wait, Tomska depressed. It makes sense. And I was like, yeah, like, the light bulb lit up.

Whether it's intentional or not, that's what I took away from it, instant. That, it blew me away. See? So, yeah, it might have accidentally or intentionally created a modern masterpiece. Yeah. Anyway, I'm throwing the Tom's goal one back in the river. Yep. Okay, go fishing again.

Come on. Right. Well, this is a big one. It's not a big one. Oh, no, it's actually tiny. I just need glasses. Wee menu music. We menu music.

Yeah. Yeah, the we shop menu music. All of the Wii music. Awesome, by the way. It is great. Bangin music. Generally great. I guess the thing that's funny about it is that people know it.

Yeah, this feeds into what I was just saying a second ago, where a lot of memes are being created by people from our sort of age generation. And we all had Nintendo Wees, so we all know the stupid music. And it's inherently quite kiddie, goofy sounding music, so it's easy to make funny. Loads of TikTok memes are people like dancing to certain Wii music things. Not Wii music, but we songs, whatever. All right, toss it back. Don't want that.

Now. Go fishing again. There are more. All right. There's one more that I can think of. This one's extra shit, I can tell. Um, fat neck man. Fat neck man.

Yeah, I don't. I don't think you've seen this image. Well, the only fat neck thing I know is that Markiplier's always memed for his neck. It's not Markiplier, though. It's this black dude. I don't know the con. I mean, I've done no research. Whatever.

Um, I don't know how he was found. but it's this black dude with a neck that is like just it's ridiculously huge yeah and shredded you get people the thing is though he's he doesn't look angry or anything he's got like a damn smile on his face so people were like i saw one where they photoshopped because his head looks like a triangle they they got his head and made it a star so he's patrick oh okay made out of like five heads or whatever it's pretty funny um gets me a Google you know

so that's your favourite one of the week in a way in a way okay sure well I'm throwing that one back in oh shit god not funny you're just a hater

I am a hater you could say shut the fuck up anyway I guess that's over anything else of note For the meme chat? Um

No Okay Well uh Actually shit it's not Holy fuck And you didn't remind me There's some breaking Actually really sad

Meme chat news We have to cover Is this to do with a SpongeBob? No but we probably should mention that Yeah because Spongebob has been Been memed for a little while now More than a little while For a big while now

yeah and then what was it two days ago the creator of sponge bob yeah goes and wasn't even old either no really depressing that that one um hit home because we fucking loved sponge bob every day after school sponge bob and then fairly your parents would come on after and it'll be like oh fuck sake everyone's talking about rich hartman loving failure parents Nah Get Get on your Your right game by

Yeah man SpongeBob was the shit And Rest in peace Rest in peace Anyway yeah And on the same lines I have an article here

California comic Young Busco Who started the hilarious What Are Those meme That broke the internet in 2015 dies in his sleep, age 31. Is that real? Yeah, he actually genuinely died.

You see, this is how fucked up meme culture is now. I was on Instagram, and I saw that today. But you didn't believe it. Yeah, I thought it was a meme. No, this guy genuinely died, 31 years old. It's fucked up. But you know, the guy props to him, he said, he was sick of the what are those joke.

himself. Oh, good man. When he said he's been working on new material. Unfortunately, we'll probably never see that material because, well, he's dead, so. What a shame. Well, his legend lives on in Black Panther. I mean, yeah, he's been immortalized in one of the greatest action movies ever made. That's never going to age in any way, and everyone for generations will be able to appreciate

the intense quality of Black Panther and everything it stands for, especially that train fight at the end honestly incredible I felt like I was really playing my PS1 yeah so that's the end of meme chat woohoo yeah Argy's got colitis

yeah he does it's wrong with his fucking doses I keep giving him and bounties and bounties really not good for a dog Never feed your dog doses Especially not the doses I was giving him

I was giving him the really spicy ones Yeah, really hot and spicy Yeah, so in a way I've ruined his life Yeah Um Sorry, that's all I can say Loll I mean he's straight up shit blood

About three times a week It's really fucked up Not funny Don't know why you're laughing It's not funny but like So now Argy Has It's just you know

how a human he shits blood and he's like oh fuck something's wrong yeah the dog it's just like he sprays shit out of his uh blood shit out of his ass and it's just like well let's keep going so what so agi in his two years on earth spent half his life with crippling meningitis that ruined his life yeah and right up right after he recovers from that he because of the meningitis and the amount steroids he had to take he now is colitis which is a sort of bowel disease yeah it makes your bowel swell right yeah so it it's like constipation but i don't know if it's constipation it's just um i think it's more like diarrhea kind of stuff but yeah it if it swells up surely it means poo squirts out because it's like a smaller i don't i don't know the details i didn't research it's

quite that the thing is on the upside of him having meningitis, therefore having to take so many steroids. He's fucking swole now. He is really strong. He's strong as fuck. He's mussely as hell. So no, I got it wrong.

You spent half his life ill because of the unknown meningitis. Then, like eight months on steroids. Yeah, and now he's got colitis. Yeah. Yeah, poor little guy. Oh, well. That's the thing with dogs, though. Like, they don't care.

Yeah, he's right. He's happy. They can feel terrible, but they just keep on trucking. He's not miserable or anything. No, he's a happy little guy. It's just like once a week he has a rumbly tummy and then squirts out diarrhea. Well, I mean, we've all had weekends like that. Yeah, I'm sat on the toilet probably about 20 times a day.

You have colitis as well then. I had this weird like scary moment yesterday where I was having tummy rumbles just like Argy and I was like oh shit I caught colitis

um you know what I keep thinking about were Max the Golden why because the other day I bought a ball chucker for Argy a new one glows in the dark pretty epic and more ways than one

But of course Max loves tennis balls and fetching Of course he did And whenever Argy messes up Retrieving I just think Max would have gone and got that It is sad I mean He's he's

It's almost I was watching Bojack Horseman and there's a gag about The Golden Retriever He thinks his mum is still alive because he was told that she max is there right now yeah it must sound like we're lying to the jar audience about max's life he's gone to live it on a beautiful field in wales yeah true and it's like he he's dead he's not dead but i mean like to us it's the same thing I was genuinely

You know I like my schemes Yeah I was thinking Is there a way I could Drive to Wales And actually kidnap him Now if you do it The owners of him now

I don't know how to use the internet Yeah but the police do Hmm Who would have motivation you who said on the podcast that they host that they would do it no the police they don't know to use the internet

they don't know about jar true yeah they'd have to find this specific episode and they'd have to go through every episode of the job cast until this point and I mean if you're a police man or woman and you're at this clip right now fair game so I'll take any punishment

I get for it but yeah I don't blame you for wanting to kidnap him though yeah he was a a golden nugget in it was one of these things where it's like you know there are so many movies and TV shows where it's about there's some kind of relationship between two people

and um it's usually like a parental figure and a child figure and they're constantly at odds with each other yeah but then as soon as something goes bad or one of them fucks up in some way then the other one is instantly there for them yeah um or they like the family sticks together thing you know and it's the whole you don't know how much you'll miss something until you don't have it yeah so i just want to squeeze a golden retriever's head again i want to see max do that

thing you know yeah yeah oh yeah because the reason the main reason he was back in my my mind apart from the huge picture I have of him in the whole way is that I found that Jarkast episode with the intro and the ending with the like really cheesy sad music with pictures of Max. Poor boy.

Before we had into the second half have you heard of this thing called 8D audio? 8D 8D 8D 8 dimensional audio

Oh right I know It's a complete gimmick But it's kind of cool For like one or two songs Is it a headset that like If there's rain in the song It splashes water

No no no It's You have to wear headphones But you can search Any song you want And just say Trans by Gorillas 8D audio

and someone would have done a version of it where basically the gimmick is they manipulate the audio so it goes from left ear to right ear and then back to left ear so it sounds like it's kind of moving around you it's really strange it's kind of like trippy as hell

that sounds like a worse way to listen to music though it's not like so it's supposed to be a gimmick so you can just listen to one song and be like oh that's weird that's goofy as hell um so i reckon uh in in the break you should i'll put headphones in and you can hear one and you can tell me what you think of it i'm not anticipating much good to be honest it did make me feel a bit sick if i'm being truthful you start going like this to try and chase the audio it doesn't it doesn't feel quite like that it's yeah

just an interesting little gimmitch can you explain why it's 8D first of all sound isn't a dimension

um so I feel like the 12 year old who figured it out probably doesn't understand any any concept

like a dimension and just thought but why 8 3D's pretty epic but not quite epic enough for what I've discovered you could get the point across with 4D

why not just call it like transmorphic audio or some shit you know just make up a word or like carousel audio carouselic yeah there you go

and then just shorten it again carcelic casellic audio god we should be in business we should be in business like the huge companies like Coca-Cola should be like we want to just release a new type of Coke

what should we call it um Coca-Cola uh 4d co co co co co co co coque coca coca coca coca coca coca coca do like cocaola i thought you were a pepsy nibber excuse me what the fuck did you just say to me i said i thought you were a pepsy boy can i ask a question is it okay to say nibber no why The intention of the invention, the intent of the invention of that word was for white people. It's not a word. It's a meme. It's not a meme. It was in...

It's just an adapted version of the M word that white people can say. Exactly. So it's okay for white people to say it, or is it not? Because Rainbow Six has thrown me off. Well, I just... You get banned if you say it. So surely it's bad. If you say it, N-I-B-A. Yes. So you don't...

So you think it's not okay. No, I don't say it because I don't think it's funny. And it's annoying to me. It's just a friendly term. It's not a friendly term. How? Whatever. Okay, fine then.

I'm just gonna sit here in silence. Until the beef gets Larry. Oh yeah, we need to talk about why James isn't here. why James isn't here. We don't know why? No, we do know. What? We do know why.

Come on, double speed. So basically, I did mention he's incredibly scared. Yeah. He watched the Babadook and got so frightened he hasn't been able to leave his house. His house. I didn't know that.

He days, yeah. You know what he's like? He's a sensitive soul. What a lame little bitch. What a lame little... No, no, you've said I'm not allowed to say it now, so I'm not going to say it. Ah, well, we'll be back after these messages. Little nibbers.

That was shit. So, Joe, let's you listen to some 8D audio. What were your initial impressions? When you first explained it, I thought it was going to have more effort. put into it because you did this yeah whereas it's more like this yeah which it um for those listening

to audio Alex made it look as if it was going to be a circular motion around your head which would be very hard to do with just headphones yeah whereas it just goes from left to right to left to right to left to right

relatively slowly and it makes you dizzy no it doesn't make you anything well you did you went in wanting to hate it for a start no i went in i went in expecting it to be better than it was to me that was nothing that you're a definition of a hater then no it's i don't think it has any purpose or use how why did you talk about it why did you bring it up i just noted it down for some reason it seems like something i would find and be like, well, that is completely unremarkable

and I'll never think about it ever again. I'm sorry if you actually really like it. I don't really like. What practical use would it have? Like if you're walking down the street trying to listen to the song. I listen to a Pink Floyd song with it and it completely ruined the song because you couldn't actually hear the instruments properly. Well, yeah, that's what I was thinking listening to that guerrilla song. It was like

I could listen to this version and have a completely boring nothing experience because it doesn't add anything or I can listen to the original song and actually be able to enjoy it it's more distracting than anything okay so you're a hater and that's the end of that

okay what would you rate it out of ten an eight okay fuck you so this is the part of the show where we head over to the JAR Media Reddit where the members of the Jami can leave any question they like. You're really pushing this Jami thing. And, um, well, if you're a member of the Jami, make sure you're leaving the comments that

I'm an individual and I'm epic and I'm awesome and I love Jarmedia. Um, but anyway, if you are a member of the Jami, head over to the Jarm Media Reddit. Leave your own questions for us to answer, especially James, who isn't here. Yeah, I hope we get loads of it. exclusive to James questions. There actually are quite a few. So, Moonduck One says, what Madagascar character

in each of you? That's the most of the upvoted comment. We already did that. We did that last episode, didn't we? Well, they said, edit. They answered it on this cast, lull. Sorry, clearly hadn't been keeping up well, didn't know it had been answered.

Wait, so he asked it again. He must have asked it. Yeah, because the thread goes up in the morning, and they asked it, and by the time the show went up, they said anyway, since I have the up votes, upvotes, let me change the question for mostly James. Are there any car films in particular you think do a good job of accurately portraying car ownership? Seeing as James is portraying car ownership? That's a very strange thing. It's not really something you can misrepresent. Yeah, owning a car is as simple as you own a car.

With that in mind, I'd say Fast and Furious 8, probably. Or whichever one they drive through a building out of a skyscraper and crash into another one. Yes. What's the one where they pull the... That's five. The fault. That's my favorite one, because he turns and launches out the car over the free one. like that's such a bad scene 100 meters

fucking awesome I just oh fucks it and then someone replied saying and in addition to that which one of the penguins are each of you and I think we answered that as well didn't we

no because James and I were penguins you and Rubin were doing Pufat 99 replied to that comment and answered it for us Alex would be skipper James is Kowalski Rubin is Rico and Jim is private

wait who James is Kowalski yeah no I disagree with it I'd swap him with your character so James is private and your Kowalski Kowalski analyze

and then of course just every comment is about fucking Madagascar now it is angle says fuck marry kill with the penguins of Madagascar there are four of them though you need another option well let's take private out

because he's um underage fair fair yeah okay so you I reckon um wait what are they all again there's the quiet quiet angry one who's like a bit freaky there's Kowalski and there's the main

the main one Mary the Kowalski fuck and the scary one kill let's first of all take away this from we were just asked who which which penguins we were so let's just undo that oh yeah obviously this is a completely separate question yeah so um what is the that that third penguin is nothing he doesn't talk his whole gimmick is that he's silent but he looks kind of crazy i'd marry him then um um

Uh, I would kill... Oh, fuck. This is actually quite tricky. No, that's not. Yeah, because I have to kill Kowalski or... Skipper. You've made it this challenging for yourself. Yeah, but why would you not marry the one I married?

Because that's the creepy one that will probably assault you and you'll see. No, I'm marrying him. Um... Okay, I'll... I'll fuck Kowalski. Kill Skipper. There you go. Kowalski gets to be free without the tyranny of Skipper raining down upon him. Magpie Lark says, how do you feel about Britain potentially losing their supply of Mars bars due to Brexit?

I am, of course, very thrilled about this. I don't give a fuck. And Jim doesn't give a fjuck. I haven't eaten a Mars bar in a long time. I'm not crazy about Mars bars. They're two... The last Mars bar thing I ate was a Mars bar protein bar. It was a Mars protein bar.

Why did you buy that? because I was hungry and I was waiting for someone to pick up my bird what the fuck what did I ever talk about that on the jar cost I saved a bird from Billy killing it oh yeah and then I called the bird people the bird guy so I got hungry while waiting for him and I had no cereal that I liked

because this was like 10 in the morning and so while waiting for the For the bird people to respond, I walked to the shop, got a leukazade and a Mars bar protein bar. Would you ever get a Mars protein again? No, it's too much. I'm a big eater and I couldn't finish one Mars bar protein bar. Right. Anyway, I walked back, the bird guy arrived and put his finger in the bird's mouth and then put it in his car and drove off.

Without saying a word? He said like three words. Right, I'm here. He was like, um, you got a blackbird? It's like, yeah. He liked him in the house, which was probably a dumb idea, because, like, who knows what bird people can do? Hmm.

Um, so he, yeah, he did that. Didn't say a word as he left, and I was like, thank you. Maybe in his head he was like, I'm doing this guy a huge fucking favor. Well, it went across my mind when I found the bird. I was like, should I kill it? Because I didn't know. Like the seagull, I was tempted to. murder it

No I would not fuck with that seagull It would murder me before I would murder it But Yeah that was a scary thing So I didn't know if the bird was fucked And couldn't be saved Well Beans on Toast has a question

Sorry, got it wrong Beans on Toad has a question What would your ideal Madagascar 4 look like I'm not joking All of the most upvator comments are about Madagascar I'm fine with that Yes, of course I am

First of all, no pop songs Yeah, get rid of the pop songs Get rid of the like Forced Moral bits Yeah Um Get rid of Melman and Gloria No, keep Melman

Get Rid of Gloria Replace her with A less Racist character what animal then you have to know what animal is replacing Gloria are we keeping Alex and Martin Alex, no Alex dies in the movie

It's the sort of passing of the torch Yeah over to Chris Rock Whatever his character's called I want to say Martin, Marty Marty? Yeah, I think it's Marty I think it's Marty. So the original cast, all except Gloria, are in the film and are important to the story.

And also replace the voice actor for The Giraffe. To be who? To be a black actor. Because it's racist that all these animals that come from Africa are played by white people. Or two of them are. But Chris Rock. Yeah, Chris Rock. That's why I said he can stay the same.

Alex dies, so it doesn't matter. getting rid of the one white white guy um how does he die um no let's do that in a sec once we have the cast done are the penguins still a huge role the penguins have a bigger role but not so much of a role that they control the whole film like the penguins in the madagascar movie no they no they control it more they're in every scene that film sucks i've seen it i don't care they're in every scene of movie but as a sort of like I like the idea of the film having no plot whatsoever and all of the characters except the penguins have no agency over anything that happens and every plot point that does happen is because of the penguins trying to do something it's a funny idea but does it work

well I'll say Chris Rock four films in including the Penguins movie and a TV show about the Penguins and isn't there a TV show about King Julian

or is that the same one? I think that's the same one point is possibly hundreds of hours worth of Madagascar content out there at this point how much of it is good

you know none that's not true I think another important thing to have would be for King Julian to go gay with the like kind of one that's with him yeah oh he could have a love triangle between mought and um no because that thing's underaged no by now it's like fully grown and he could be like really hot yeah that's a good point

actually you know like there's embarrassing articles like BuzzFie put up but they're like goofy now he's older and god he's hot fucking hour but um to mirror Alex the dying. Skipper almost dies. But doesn't quite die because he's... No, I think one of the penguins should die and should be replaced with mort. Oh shit. Yes.

No. So, Skipper dies. Right? And it's a fucking emotional scene. And private becomes the new Skipper. And to replace... Which one is Skipper? The main one.

Oh shit. He can't. die? I know. I reckon the quiet one has to die. No, then there's no like emotional involvement. You can just have him die off screen so he can come back in a sequel. So he's gone,

though. Skipper's gone and Private becomes the new skipper. So they need a new cute penguin. They got no penguins. They'll get mort. And then they can have a like 25 minutes scene where they're interviewing all the animals. Yeah, just like deadpool. Just like Deadpool, yeah. And they could even have like Deadpool be in.

it. Yeah, Deadpool's in it. He's the antagonist of the movie. He kills Skipper. He kills Alex the Lion. Because he's like trying to get to the Avengers.

Deadpool's trying to get to the Avengers and he's got to get through other movies. He's got to go through Madagascar. This is actually sounds like the perfect Deadpool movie to me. And Madagascar movie in one. Do they address

It's the Gloria recasting. No, Gloria is not recast. Gloria is just gone. Do they address it, though? No. She's just gone. Well, sure. Like, it can be one line of dialogue.

Where Black Melman looks at a picture of her and just goes, and then they continue with the movie. Yeah. That says that's a lot of sort of character development. Gives a lot of weight to the chemistry. I mean, maybe she can come back later on. In another movie? Well, yeah, that's the thing.

You're leaving it open. If he's just as a long sigh, it could mean... What, is she dead? Yeah, that's the thing. People think, is she dead? Is she alive? It can turn out, she was out, like... Gloria in the next film could defeat Deadpool.

Yeah. Okay, okay. So what, the main plot of the movie is the penguins trying to stop Deadpool? No. That would be awesome. The penguins are like, he's taken over Hollywood. We gotta stop Deadpool. Yes

And because Deadpool's so Incredibly overpowered It kills the main penguin Mm-hmm Yeah And Alex the Lion And Alex the Lion I feel like we've just

Created the best film Ever conceived It is the best film ever made Ever conceived It's not been made yet It's made in my head What if tomorrow Like the trailer drops

Like Deadpool 4 And it's just a Well then we'll know there's some fucked up shit happening. Anyway, yes, I'm looking forward to that one. I can't think of any of the details. That's a pretty well-rounded script.

Yeah. It wouldn't surprise me if Christopher Nolan were to watch this. He would start writing it immediately. You'd produce it, at least. Yeah. Tadpole Afterlife says, On the cast, you often say that something is epic. I know this is a joke,

but do you ever accidentally slip and say, it during other human interaction like in normal conversation do we ever say epic really like seriously is that he's what he's saying is do we do we say because we say the word epics ironically so often do we wind up saying it ironically in conversations where people wouldn't know where we're poking fun at the overuse of the word epic and would just think we're saying what i feel like i have said it before yeah definitely we all have but i wouldn't say a lot by any means there there was one thing where um again talking about red dead again uh when you were still playing the story for the first time yeah and you were like this one bit is so genuinely

epic that you couldn't take it yeah but that's not the same but i was genuine i was trying to mean the original yeah exactly but which you can't say anymore but because it's a joke now some uh comedians and stuff try to use epic in like an ironic way but i don't know it seems too late yeah most there was yeah that was it i was watch that puppet movie was it called the merry man murders or some shit don't give a shit you know the puppet movie it sucked and no one saw Melissa McCarthy says something in the film she has a joke like yeah that was epic or whatever big it wasn't very funny yeah so the answer is uh yes on occasion you've got to be careful if you're talking to grandpa

and you say man this is epic grandpa i don't think you'll appreciate it when he'll just get so confused because the the language of the young nowadays are just... Is it just gonna get more and more ridiculous so like, say the generation underneath hours is just gonna be like... What the fuck are you talking about, yo? You guys are crazy. You already say that to me though. So the answer's 100% yes. Yeah.

When Fortnite 2 and Minecraft 2 are released and they've just... There's no gameplay, it's just watching like reaction videos on TikTok. And by that point I'm just like... What there? The Big Cosmo asks, this is a question for Alex, so Jamie, close your eyes. Close my eyes. But then they say, James, when are you making the car channel? So what do you think, James?

When are you making that car channel? Great answer. Awesome answer. Um, college in Cleo says thoughts on the latest live action Lion King trailer. I have a video going up as we're recording this today on the very subject. Well, answer the question then. I don't think it looks very good. No, go into more depth.

I wanted to hear you first. Then I can happen. No, I want to just hear you recite the script for the video that is not up yet. No, it will be up by the time this is up, though. so well either way so when when I can go into it a bit more I suppose no they look shit

I mean beauty and the beast shit even if it was great like in terms of acting that's the thing the script it looks they're not traditionally bad

in the same way a truly bad movie is bad do you know what I mean but there's almost something worse about that kind of cynical mediocrity. They seem so empty, no heart like the originals. The perfect

word to describe them is a husk. Yeah. There's nothing original about them. It's not like Giyomo del Torre's take on the Hobbit kind of thing where it's like story we all know but his voice would make it really

interesting. They look the same. They try to shot for shot remake it but it ends up looking worse because realistic CG of the original character designs is just wrong and that's my whole thing

it's like it's kind of insulting to me to the originals because those the entire point and conceit of those movies is that for them to work they have to be 2D animated hand-drawn

you know classical Disney movies in that way so just straight adapting them without you know changing them drastically is a just a bizarre decision to me, especially when they would be perfectly capable of adapting the 2D into their current style of 3D animation, which would make much more sense to me. You can't stick a celebrity face on the poster of a 3D animated movie.

But those films are huge anyway. Frozen is ridiculously popular. Tangled was huge. Moana was very successful like surely that would work way better you can actually picture like an Aladdin remake say in that

kind of that kind of yeah because it's still cartoony it's the fact that when you try to mesh real people with CG the CG has to look real because there's a real person interacting with it therefore with beauty and the piece. Actually that's not true think about

Well, it's not CG, but in, um, I think it just comes down to the filmmaking, because in Who Frame Roger Rabbit, well, or even like, it's down to the plot, though, as well, because if there's, you're meant to believe there's a beast in this world, you can't have it be a 2D hand-drawn beast that she's dancing with, whereas in Who Frame Roger Rabbit, there is like a different race of being called the Toons. Yeah. Or like, yeah. I just think it's a bad idea from the word go I think they could have easily remade it in the like marijuana graphics you know

and it would have been a lot better The thing is like both take just as much effort as well That's the thing I say in the video They're all completely animated anyway Yeah I found some footage of like from the jungle book Where the kid who plays Mowgli is just running around on like a blue prequel looking set anyway

and those these films they're gonna age so badly the Alice in Wonderland film from like 2010 2011 already looks embarrassingly bad and I fear that

this Lion King movie and the jungle book and all these are just going to look embarrassing in a few years time yeah

just lame man I posed in the video because I want to hear your thoughts on this idea instead of doing this like of course they're going to be remaking their famous movies till the end of time to stop making money of them but you know the way video games

are constantly remastering their old works Spyro Halo Crush Bandicoot and all that and people love it people love they're very willing in that in that industry to purchase things again we have movies like Toy Story

like Monsters Inc. The Incredibles those are all Pixar films but those are just the examples I used in the video I was saying instead of just constantly milking a property like Toy Story releasing like uninspired sequels till the end of time at least

for now could we not sort of get a remastered version of Toy Story 1 for example? Yeah they wouldn't even have to like Storyboards are completely done. You could, you know, like the only thing you'd have to do is have obviously a bunch of talented CG artists to...

Well, yeah, that's the thing. They understand art direction. They understand what the original film meant, what it was going for, artistic. If you could have Toy Story 1, look as good as Toy Story 3. Yeah, exactly. Done. Yeah.

Because, like, Toy Story and Monsters Inc. aren't stylistically that ridiculous in terms of like The Nightmareful Christmas is an incredibly stylistic movie visually

something on that level or like the Lego movie which is hyper stylistic because everything looks like plastic it's not something like that where the art direction is very specific in the same way of course

the fear would be that like it could be George Lucas in a way and it would just look shit or whatever and completely miss the point but I feel like that's I don't think that's possible with the animated movie but if you're going in to make it look better I mean the thing is because that movie is so old they would have to reanimate the entire movie

yeah but I feel like people would pay for that and they would celebrate it in a way would people accept it to watch in cinemas they constantly re-release films and people are hyped to go see 2001 again to go and see horror movies all the time, you know. It's the thing, man, that Hollywood just doesn't understand how to monetize their products very well, do they?

Instead, they just keep shitting out sequels and, like, forcing them out before they have an idea for them. Yeah, I mean, they make money, so I guess it's working. Yeah, that's the thing. These live action movies make a ton of money. Del Deirduri says, Let's bring this early JARCast asked every episode question back. Who would win in a fight out of you for? Well, there are only two of us, so... Yeah, get fucked.

In addition, which JAR characters, i.e. Dick, Shweb, pets, or Gugly Eyes thing, could kill all four of you. I mean, Shweb's dead, so... D... Um, anyway, yeah I feel like the rocks and the heavy ones could do some damage Don't know if they could kill me though No, too slow, cucumber nick

Instant death He gets out of that jar, we're all gone The whole fucking world is gone That's true, yeah, sort of chemical warfare is almost cheating in a way Yeah But it's true I reckon Richard Hammond could completely fuck us up as well Paper cut us to death

So we've got a good one here from This looks like a story From Bun Kolo who says Hey JAR boys After hearing the last two weeks podcast I thought I should share my own personal story Of how JAR helped me Get to know one of my best friends

I'm currently in my junior year of high school But I started watching Jha around 8th grade Like the movie What movie Eighth grade I'm senior my homeschool district doesn't have their own high school

so I had to go elsewhere it was a big change for me since I'd been in school with the same 60 kids all my life I'd never had to really worry about meeting new people before but this school was five times the size of my home school and full of people I didn't know

I was very awkward and nervous about meeting new people for the first time and for the first few days of school I felt very left out however one day I overheard someone talking about something they'd heard on a podcast. I recognized it as something that James had mentioned in this week's episode. So I asked him what the podcast was, and sure enough, it was JAR.

He went on to become one of my first friends in high school, and is still one of my best friends to this day. Two years later, I'm far more confident in myself and in talking to new people. I just wanted to say that thank you guys, though, because JAR was one of the first things my friend and I bonded over. and meeting him really helped me break out of my shell and become the person I am today. He unfortunately stopped listening to the podcast a while back, but our friendship still stands, and I still tune in every week. Thank you, boys, for everything you do, and keep up the good work. Well, first of all, I'm going to quickly say,

go ahead and unfriend him on Facebook for stuff. Because he stopped listening to Jop. That's, that's, we've matched me. we've uh now the only thing we haven't created is a monster that we know of anyway um so next week i'd like to see some monstrous horrible stories yeah that's pretty cool story in the end that is a cool story yeah i like hearing those it's a nice one to end on it's it's heartwarming as they say it's a shame only half of jar was here to hear it but i'm sure we're the ones that matter we are the ones that matter we're the funniest we make up the majority of the letters so

true yeah whatever well that's another episode for the books i'd like to thank everyone for listening and supporting us on the jar media patreon and all that um yeah man oh yeah hit that like button hit that bell button hit that bell button hill that bell bottoms bell bottoms bell bottoms