JAR Media Posdact - Boom Boom, SMACK! - JARCAST Episode 205
Episode Date: February 24, 2020https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies ...
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Good afternoon, morning, evening, evening on night.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Alex hosting here today, the 205th episode of the JARCust.
I'm joined, as always, by the passionate napper himself, James.
Yes.
And the master of reloads over there on my far right, not that that matters to anyone listening or watching.
Jim.
Yeah, what's good, what's good?
What's good?
Also a skilled marksman, as it turns out.
Yeah, those who've seen the intro know,
Jim's clearly been practicing with his Nerf gun skills.
Yeah, Nerf gun.
Yeah.
That's what I stick to.
Before we get deep into the show, deep down,
we deep down delve into the show.
I'd like to shout out the patrons over the JAR Media Patreon
for making the audio version of the show possible.
Rate us 5 star on iTunes and all of that
lovely shilly stuff
Yeah, that's out of the way
So how are we doing?
It's 10pm on a Thursday
I mean
Delirious? Are you all a bit delirious?
You know, what's good? What's good, you know?
It's a bit of a crazy, crazy day
You know, we're pulling all nighters
Like we do, living life on the edge
We've got some stuff to talk about
aside from boom boom smack um hold up what what what was that you just said uh boom boom
smack i'm i'm a more of a smack guy myself but you know what have you not heard of this
boom boom boom smack you not heard it no no no no it's just something new to me um it's just
you know people were saying it they just been going boom boom smack it's like a thing people are
doing at the moment what i heard about this joke yeah just like a little non-sequitur boom boom smack
let's let's do a quick role play okay so me and james are walking into your door you're the person
that's going to have to say it because you understand the context of why i understand how to implement it
Yeah.
So I've just walked in,
yo,
what's good?
Boom, boom.
Smack.
So it's literally just that.
So it means good?
In a way.
Yeah, it's good to send in text form.
In my opinion.
Actually, no.
Sorry to interrupt,
but when you text it,
is it boom, send, boom, send smack?
That's one option,
especially if you're using iMessage
and you can use the,
you know, you can send like animations or whatever.
So you can do like boom boom.
Another option.
Another option, of course, is the like explosion emoji.
Two of those, comma, hand slap.
Boom, boom, smack.
Right.
See, no, no.
I know where Alex is coming from with this because boom is now a big part of my vocabulary.
You know, if you've just done something.
Boom.
You've just boom.
Yeah, James has been booming for ages.
And I've just kind of added a smack.
I think James has been booming since he was born.
You could say he's a.
baby boomer so we got boom boom smack why do you get to be smack okay boom boom smack well why
am i smack okay boom boom boom smack what i'm i'm i'm a boomer so i say boom james is a boomer
so one of us is smack yeah i want to i want i want to hear the feedback from the community on
that yeah they can decide aside from the absolute chaos that was caused from this um question that
that finished off the last episode about how many holes are in a drinking straw.
I saw a V-sauce video on this.
Oh, really? What did he say?
Um...
I can't remember.
Oh, he...
So, from what I understand, he said there's two.
No, he didn't.
So you do remember?
No.
He said two, if I'm white, rightfully remembered.
There are two types of holes.
Pussy, an ass
mouth, three, ears
No, there's a hole
that doesn't go all the way through something
Right
Okay
And then there's a hole that does go all the way through
So there is one hole
Actually, actually how would you know
So let's say the straw debate is the first one
So there would be two holes
It's just one of them hasn't gone all the way through
and the other one has connected it.
So therefore there'd be two holes.
No.
Well, yeah.
Well, we're going to approach a similar sort of thing in the questions segment in the second half
because I saw one of the questions and I said, oh, that's a good one to ask.
But that comes later.
That comes later.
Do it.
We haven't done what we've been.
We haven't done one of those, you know, what we've been watching.
reading you know you know yeah my dude you know won't be reading because we're all
illiterate you know like children i'm not illiterate why would you say that when was the last time
you read something i listened to audiobooks does that count no um no there you go you don't you don't
need ears to listen you kind of do actually we've been watching listening to and let's just
start with the big the big news right the blue wolf himself sign the vark
Jim and I watch that.
Did we have to?
Yeah, we don't have to spend long on it, but it's relevant, you know, like,
Sonic the Head Show, like, everyone loves it, it's coming back into action,
and people have been busting my balls online about Sonic
for about half a decade, actually.
Even, like, today I woke up, checked my Reddit, my I-H-E-Redit,
and saw someone had taken some thing that I'd said in my Sonic video
I did when I was, like, 19, and were like,
apparently in that video I said that the first level of Mario
is so much better than the first level of the original Sonic
which is very true
which I don't even remember saying
but it is true
yeah it probably is true but
it is true but like um
I guess it's being resurfaced because Sonic is being talked about
more than ever because of this movie
um what did you think Jim you loved it right
is it detective Pikachu
it's better than detects
Pikachu
yeah
no doubt in my mind
yeah it is
but it doesn't mean
it's not for babies
absolutely
it's absolutely for babies
and Sonic fans
so to me it was quite boring
no doubt is it boring
I would never contest that
the only times I was entertained
was when
Jim Carrey was on screen
really
yeah because
see the part I was entertained
was this idea
of establishing a core
Sonic law that I can jump on board
But it's not even a core Sonic law though
You don't think so? Why not?
Because the laws
In this movie don't apply to
Like Sonic games
I don't care about the games
That's the thing, there's so many games
James, you tell me the law of the Sonic
Game on Wii where he's got, he's a knight
Or something or a werewolf? Like, what's going on in this
universe? But it's better, like, the
original Sonic. Yeah, and it seems
like it's channeling that original Sonic with the
Chili Dogs and, you know
No, no, I'm talking about there being
no law
it's more like Mario
there's a good guy
that you play us
and there's a bad guy
and the goal is simple
be the bad guy
but they have to tell
they have there's a movie
you have to have like a story
well I mean
ideally to me
there would never have been
a Sonic movie
yeah but that's not a choice
I'm afraid
we don't get to choose that
in our lives
unfortunately
do
okay do you
do you think this Sonic movie
is better
than what this
illumination Mario Bros movie is going to wind up being?
What do you think that is going to be better?
The thing is Mario is better than Sonic.
So...
It might...
If it just looks like Mario and sounds like Mario...
Yeah.
And they don't illumination it too much.
Yeah.
It could just inherently be somewhat charming because of that.
But this is an illumination we're talking about.
It just depends on how much Nintendo wants to creatively control it.
But elimination can't help but put in like a...
Pharrell song or something
Oh absolutely yeah there'll be some
Billy Elish will do a Mario song
That's something that was quite disappointing about the
Sonic movie
Like none of the classic
Yeah it needed more of that like edgy 90s
Like kind of grungy
I was thinking more like
Like the Green Hillsone song and
No they did that a couple times to be fair
But it was like the the somber
Yeah
but like when it was a crazy action scene it should have been like
yeah you know what I'm saying no yeah
it absolutely could have been so much better
yeah but you know it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be
yeah because if nothing else though
Sonic has great music
yeah Sonic does have great music
so they miss the big beat which we which we probably have attachment to
because of smash bros
being on that stage
on those stages
some good stuff in there
oh yeah no doubt
what flashes through your mind James
when you think of Sonic the Hedro
see
I'm a Sonic player
who didn't play the originals
I played the
the tri-team
oh Sonic Heroes
Sonic Heroes
that game so bad
I absolutely fucking love that game
did you actually finish it
no almost it
No one did.
I have seen...
No one did.
That game is like happiness to me.
Like, the thought of that game brings me joy.
Nostalgia?
Yeah.
But Sonic shit.
So, yeah.
Damn.
There is, there's arguably no fan base more passionate than the Sonic fan base.
Hmm.
So I'm glad they're enjoying it, at the very least.
Yeah.
Anything else of note?
We did, we all got together and watched Knives out.
I saw it for the second time.
Jim saw it for the first time.
and James saw it for the first time.
What did you guys think of that?
Pleasantly surprised by it because going into
I kind of didn't know what to expect and then you've got
you know Daniel Craig's character kind of slowly gets actually becomes more of a
figure within the movie and it's just like his role was great
he is so great in that movie it's so interesting to see
to see him do a role that isn't like a James Bond type role
and he's kind of trying more and it's just like great.
Yeah like it's not muscle it's not about muscle at all he's just a detective.
Yeah it gets boring
when like an actor like him
who is sort of cast for being hot
and then they end up just doing
a bunch of movies where they're like young
hot successful guy
whereas in this like he's just
really good detective
from somewhere in Texas right
yeah at first is like the accent
kind of hit me like that's really weird
yeah it's that thing with like
actors we know are British
and usually have a
really British accent doing like another accent, especially an American one.
The weirdest one I find is Benedict Cumberbatch.
I don't know if it's because his accent's bad or because I'm just so used to him speaking a
certain way, but it bugs me more of that one.
But anyway, back to the canives out.
It's so weird because the last movie I saw Daniel Craig in was that bad Specter,
that bad James Bond movie.
He looks so miserable in that movie.
He does.
Seeing emotion in this movie from him, he's like,
really fresh and it's really
he seemed to be having fun
yeah yeah and and judging that
there's gonna be like a spin off of just him doing
this type of stuff again shows that I guess
he really like the one it's a really good role
but then you've also got Chris Evans in this movie
he was quite enjoyable because he's just a fucking twat
mm-hmm and I enjoyed that
the whole cast is actually really good
it's a whole ensemble
I was I was presently
surprised by because it was my second viewing
and it being a murder mystery you would have thought
knowing every beat
it kind of would take some of the punch out of it
but it was really cool actually
to see it again and see all the cogs
and the setup and the payoff stuff
that's a really detailed movie
yeah
yeah I'm happy for Aaron Johnson after
yeah definitely what happened with The Last Jedi
to come back and just go back to what he's good at type stuff
and you know homage the kind of thing
he's always loved like he did with brick and all that kind of stuff
it was a pleasant movie
it's like if a movie to me
if I think about it days after
I know it's like a good movie almost
and that movie I was thinking about it
I was just like I was just thinking about the scenes
and just like the acting
and it's just like that movie is just good
and I enjoy it
because that's the thing
like there's nothing worse than a
the worst the worst movies to me
in my mind are the ones that once they're over
you forget about and never think about again
your men in black internationals
your
Joker
God damn it
I just one for me
not Joker
no because
didn't that linger in your mind
in how much it kind of made you feel
you know
It made me feel shit
And then I went home
Yeah but that's like
Yeah
I still need to rewatch Joker
From my superior video
But I'm kind of looking forward to it now
Because it's been ages
Yes
And like people have been talking about it for ages
And I'm like
I'm ready to sit down on my own
And
You know just watch it and
Take it in
Yeah
Without any
So it's weird
Like I have this thing where
when I first go and see a movie especially a movie that's been reported on so much there's so much
buzz so many memes so much shit it's in the zeitgeist for so long like it I don't even know
what to think and I think I said that when we first watched it like I didn't really want to talk
about it that much because I didn't even know what to think of it so I think enough time is kind
of passed now where I can you know buy it on 4k or whatever and just watch it on my own and see what
I think about it.
Speaking of
Joaquin Phoenix
looking after his mom,
I watched you
were never really here.
Did you see
the parallels in that
with Joker?
Yeah,
it's quite weird, isn't it?
It is weird.
That is a very good movie
and it's quite a short movie.
That's what I like about it.
Yeah, I really like that.
Like, not enough movies
know when to sort of just say
that's enough, that's what I'm saying.
Because, like, the character
clearly has a lot of like history yeah and they they show you enough whereas i think a movie
for stupider people where it would like explicitly show those yeah like a 50 minute flashback
yeah and then that would make it up to two hours and then you'd have your two hour yeah no it's
succinct shit yeah and the way they handle violence in that movie i thought was really clever yeah yeah
Like it's almost more
It almost hits harder because of the
Restrained way they showed everything
Even though it is clearly like some kind of budgetary thing
It's only a small production but it really works
But it always like focuses on him
During any violence
Which yeah
Clever movie
Anything else we've been a
I've watched quite a lot recently
Um
I watched prisoners
yeah another really good one
yeah like really like that movie
really really good
um i mean there's not much i've got to say about it other than it's
really really good
i also watched uh uncut gems
oh yeah you did didn't you yeah yeah did you like that
very much so it's the first
i don't know how many adam sandler movies there are
where he's there are three or four i've seen the morning
now. Right. Yeah, where he's
actually trying.
Where he's being dramatic or something.
And in this...
Yeah, he's awesome in this film.
He's genuinely really good.
And like,
he's a proper fucking scumbag.
That's what I really respect about, like,
an actor should be willing to play the whole gambit,
you know? Like, he can play silly, family guy, comedian.
And then he can play something like a hardcore,
you know, asshole gambling...
gambling addict piece of shit like the character in uncut gems that's what
annoys me so much about like when I hear the rock and his contracts and stuff
he's like yeah yeah he like always has to be the good guy and he always has to
you know can't be too bad it kind of proves that you're shit actor really if you're not even
willing to actually act it's like I know there's a certain level of like you don't want
to be type cut well he hasn't forced himself into being typecast basically the rock that is
But, I mean, the thing is, he would have been typecast anyway.
Yeah, so why even put it in your contract?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Whatever.
I've been addicted to Red Dead Online at the moment.
I never really got too much out of GTA online.
I really like the heist stuff.
But it never really hooked me in that way.
Yeah.
Whereas, you know, that kind of online service, destiny style,
of the drip feeding daily drip feed stuff like for some reason read that online's really um
got its hooks into me um it's just the perfect amount of layers of like um what's it called
in video games we have like a loop of gameplay yeah the gameplay loop fucks sake they have loads of gameplay
loops like um stacked on top of each other so like what by the time you've done one like two more
ready to do and it's just like you just constantly have things to do yeah and then by the time
you look at your watch it's 1 a.m and it's like fuck um so i've been enjoying that a lot uh because it's been
a while since one of those you know games that are designed to be super addictive games really got
its claws into me yeah post destiny you've been pretty yeah because i went in so hard on destiny
I was kind of burnt out on the concept for a while
So it's nice seeing it in a new skin
Because of course I like Red Dead 2's like single player so much
It just makes sense that
Because it wasn't like I tried Red Dead online when it first came out
And it was fine, it was okay
But it was like whatever
Yeah, it was released in like the beta
Yeah
But jumping in like a month ago or whatever it was
Like it was like oh yeah this is really cool now
Like there's stuff to do
There's still some shit that needs to be sorted out
but it's it's keeping me addicted like you're addicted to cod jones yeah and not on
it's like on the other hand of the type of I know addiction almost the we the reasons why
you're addicted to where there is like the can why I'm not addicted to cod like it's the same
almost but it's just like there's not layers there's not loads of different things it's
just like the same fucking thing it's the same activity but within that activity you have loads
of different things you can level and stuff like that
Pretty much.
And obviously, it's worth noting, we've said a lot,
I was like a big time cod player back in the day.
So, like, this is, this is the return of being a fucking cod loser, basically.
Do you still play it like every night?
Yes.
I play it every day.
Every single day I play home, I play cod.
I've done every gun, and now it's just doing all the camos.
It's doing everything.
When was the last time when a cod game grabbed you like that?
One or fair two.
Because you've...
It's a three.
Not as.
bad yeah but still
you were hooked on that
I was because it was like the day
I was nothing nothing to play
but I currently put in around six
days and if you consider
you know I've obviously got a full-time
job it's quite a lot of game time
I've sunk in and it's not stopping
anytime soon I'm fully
clawed in I reckon
the last one was Apex Legends actually you really
went in on that but then you just
no that's a problem once you leveled up
because we kind of got into Apex
sessions really early on where it was kind of still really early days fairly bare bones but really
fun it's core so i i went in hard got to max level really quickly and then there was no progress
there was no content at that point it did take them way too long to have the season two and three
come out yeah it did take a while so i i fell off the train now apex is like pulling a lead on every
others because it's got so much there there's so much going on yeah like that new robot guy they
added like that trailer was really cool
I was like oh this is this is neat
kind of wish it was like a single player thing
like Titanfall 2 but whatever
it's neat but I gave up on that game
it's like the thing I went in so hard
at first I can't get back into it now
because I've already done it
all it's just I can't go back to it
maybe one day
one day maybe but with Cod
being an annual release still it seems like
I'm going to be jumping the wagon
until it burns me out
which will probably be soon
because it's also like
I went fully in on Foursers as well
I did like
leaderboard you know
top tier racing type stuff
burn out on that and I haven't played
the Faza since
so it's like I'm gonna go through
card and then
get sick of that
and then move on to something else
but it's just like I have this
need for like progression
in a game
I need to know that what I'm doing
is going somewhere with it
I can't
I know you mean
I can't play a game
for no way
reason anymore.
Yeah, like, you want to feel like you're always chipping away at something.
Yeah, a little bit.
That's what I like about achievements, and I've always been an achievement hunter for that exact
reason.
Like, it's a, it's like a framing device for, um, for reasons to explore a game in a certain
way.
Like, I've been, it's taken me so long to go through Red Day because the achievement list
is ridiculous and stupid and unfair, um, but I'm doing it.
And I've got some fun out of some of the specific ones, but.
yeah i don't really get addicted like you guys do to that same sort of thing
like i'll hop on red dead once twice a week i only really have like long sessions if i play
with you yeah um i've been playing a bit of securo again which is definitely the best game
of last year like without a doubt in my mind yeah it's really good um
played doom a couple of weeks ago
we can't talk about doom again
we brought it up on every castle like the last month
every time
every time we mention that
it's we keep
we like say that it's made by Bethesda
where I guess we mean it's published by Bethesda
because I've never said that it was made
I don't remember us saying it
It's a Bethesda game
We must have said it's a Bethesda game
And there's this one guy
Which it is because it's published by Bethesda
There's this one guy in the comments who, like, really gets annoyed by saying that.
Because Bethesda didn't develop the game.
They could make a game.
It could even worse if it was developed by Bethesda.
Yeah, man.
Anything else we've absorbed?
I've been watching the boys on Amazon.
Yeah, you heard.
Because I've been trying to finish up all the superhero content from last year for my eventual video.
but it's it's quite good yeah
I've been I've seen it
because I'm now slowly being influenced
into having you know
being actually watching things and movies
and trying to yeah
push the train a bit
and that's one I've been interested
because of Carl Urban
he's like a cockney gaze in it
he's just I've always liked him
yeah it's way
edgier and
than I was anticipating
and way more like political too
than I was anticipating
it's like a refreshing thing
in the in the superior genre
because the
like the whole Deadpool way
of like making fun of the superior genre
is like so on the nose
like superhero landing
Badoobo! Yeah it's not
like making a comment above
like surface
level stuff yeah because in the boys like it's a universe like there are characters that the stories
like self-contained but it's really cool because like it's basically if the justice league were
corrupt is this is the idea so but every like every superhero in the in the I can't remember
what their group is called the thing's called the seven um every superhero is like managed by like a
PR team and stuff like that and it's really corporate and like fucked up yeah yeah there's all
this like me too shit going on and it's like really really dark at certain points um and there's some
some fucked up like super year humor stuff and like there's like a stretchy character who does
like things that you'd always imagine like man if i had that power like that's the kind of shit i'd do
like stuff like weird like shit like that it's definitely worth a watch and weirdly high production
value too for really these like streaming that was my main worry because it's it's clear it's
Not like on the level of, you know, fucking Avengers, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's probably better than, like, that Last X-Men movie or, you know, some of the shit like that.
Really?
Yeah, or at least on par.
You know, it's very cinematic.
And it's for an eight-episode show.
So there's way more content in there.
Is there going to be multiple seasons?
I believe so, yeah.
Simon Pegg's in there, Carl Urban.
It's got a good cast.
It's very, I'd recommend it if you haven't seen it.
And you're interested in that superhero stuff, but you're sick of the kind of babyish.
yeah yeah stuff that's constantly out there
um there is a game actually i've been playing
and you're going to judge me because it's actually a mobile game
really yeah is this the first mobile game
no because you've talked about 10 10 before
no that that doesn't count because this is this is the first mobile game
i've ever ever bought really what why is it it was 70p
what is it um plague dot ink
yeah i've heard of it yeah because you'd be used to play in school
it's that
tough a game
I'm pretty sure
it wasn't around
when we were in school
it's not that old
no like
you create like a virus
or bacteria or whatever
and you try and kill
the entirety of the world
it's an online game
you should play in school
no no no
it's very relevant
I know what you're thinking of
because it's also a dot ink
but no
it's like a simulation
heavy air quotes
because like it's not
accurate or anything but like yeah was it in your mind because of the corona thing that's
yeah it kind of was yeah because all these movies about infections and things have like
rocketed up yeah yeah like iTunes charts and stuff because everyone's it's on everyone's
mind it's funny as well because um in the tutorial which would have been made before the
coronavirus it's like um okay choose your country to start the the the
The plague in.
Yeah.
And it automatically directs you to China.
Really?
Because that's a great place to start a virus.
Absolutely.
The dense of the population, the higher chance it has is spreading, I suppose.
Yeah.
And I just thought.
Uh-oh.
Let's hope their office isn't based in China.
Hmm.
Yeah, before we go to end of part one,
I just want to say, um,
FU to the one guy on my Reddit who said
on that Sonic post
about Green Hill Zone or whatever
that it was like
oh don't worry he's got a notoriously bad taste in games
so what the fuck you're talking about
it's the Mario I was saying Mario's better than Sonic
alright? Yeah that
like you're in the minority if you prefer Sonic to Mario
yeah if you're a Genesis kid
less fine but like dude you gotta realize
you're up against Mario right now
yeah Mario is better
Fuck you
Boom
Come on the cast
We can debate
Sonic
Yeah let's do this
Absolutely
We can go on smash as well
You play Sonic
I play as Mario
See what happens
Yeah see what happens
It'll just be like a
You know Chad versus
Cuck match
Zing
Boom
Boom
With that being said that though
Boom boom
Miao
Boom boom
Boom
We're back after these messages.
Smack.
Want a dick on a shirt?
Check the description below.
Welcome to the second half of the JARCast
where we answer questions from the community.
If you want to leave your own questions for us,
head over to the JAR Media Reddit,
our slash JAR Media and go to the suggestions thread
which should be pinned at the top if the Reddit
hasn't messed up and broken.
Like it keeps doing lately, it's very annoying.
Let's start off from, with a question from Sebastian del Tovo, who says,
I think this would make a pretty epic debate on the cast.
How many holes does a person have?
This is the one I teased earlier.
Okay.
Let's figure this out.
So.
No.
Technically, technically, the mouth and the butthole of the same one.
Oh, we go on this route.
Wait, but you said a straw was two.
No, because that's a straw.
This is different.
A straw is a piece of paper.
Straw's like way less complicated.
No.
No.
What do you mean?
A straw starts out as a piece of paper that's rolled up.
My body does not start as a piece of paper.
There's two.
Which is way more complicated.
There's one hole.
Okay, so you've got, but, but, but genitals.
I would not say that.
there's a hole? There is definitely a hole.
What are we defining as a hole?
An exit or entrance?
What about an...
Yeah, but an entrance...
Has to go somewhere.
Okay, let's put it this way.
If an ant wanted to crawl inside,
what holes could it do it through?
It could do it through your urethra,
or your puss, or your asshole,
or your nose...
But you said a straw had one hole.
yeah so but so you're saying because they're all
connect through two different holes no but you forget about the straw thing this is
separate no this isn't separate this is a separate ground rules we need to lay down ground
rules otherwise all of it is meaningless this is a separate issue no it's not because
a straw isn't a biological creation why does that matter but we're talking about holes
is each nostril count as a separate hole that's what is really going on in my mind
the same...
It's like...
They are separate holes.
No, they're not.
Because they both go up there and they split into two.
That means there's one.
Because they both go to the same place.
They're both...
The same area where they connect.
So they're basic...
They're one.
The mouth goes to the ars.
Right?
Surely the mouth goes to the urethra as well, because you drink and pee.
Well, no, but then you put it that way.
People fucking...
People snort spaghetti.
get in, take out of their mouth
that's anything they're connected
so it should
like I
so every hole in our body's connected
it's one hole
the body's one hole
no
there's not one hole
there's not
no there is
if there's one hole
how does double penetration
exist then that implies there's two
holes
no that's because they're double
penetrating two entrances
that there's
still one hole because so you're telling me the right and left ear count as one
hole no because they're different that's there's a brain in between them so they're
two holes so ear ear nostril nostril nostril mouth no nostrils one
no no why is nostril one because I told you that they can it's the same thing up
there so that goes up and they join and then they come down ear ear nostril so you're saying
the mouth and
the asshole are the same whole
no
that's what James is saying no I'm saying
I'm saying this about nostrils not asses
so no you're anal is a blowjob
this is why I wanted by that logic
this is why I wanted to set
the rules straight
no no no because I'm being
because you guys are just saying whatever
you you're making it
work to your
you answer the question then one you answer
One hole.
No, that's bullshit.
That is bullshit.
You just called James out the same.
At least I got fucking rules, man.
No, you don't.
Yeah, they're incorrect.
You just correct them.
Because you just called James out on the mouth and anus being the same hole.
Okay, they're not the same whole.
No, they are only the same hole if your nostrils are the same hole.
I'm okay of that because if you, if you...
But a nose is one thing though.
You know?
The digest, like the digestive.
system is one thing no the nose has one purpose right okay so your urethra and your asshole are
one hole no they're different because your your genitals and your asshole have different purposes yeah
the nostrils are like two and why do purposes matter we're talking about holes it's essential to their
biological purpose yeah the guys are obsessing over no over um the fact that it's a biological thing
No, but that's the question.
Instead of how many holes there are.
The question was how many holes are there?
On a human...
There's not one fucking hole.
No, that was me just fucking throwing bullshit.
No, but the question is how many holes on a human body?
That's the biological thing we need to...
I mean, are paws included?
No.
No, think of it this way to him.
We have to draw the line somewhere.
No, the nostrils are... they're one.
Because it's just like...
It's an intake.
You suck air through it.
If you cover that off this one...
What happens if one of your nostrils is blocked?
He's still got one.
Because you've still got two entrances here.
I think her nose is two holes.
So you disagree with James.
Oh, much far.
James says the nose is one hole.
No, it is one hole.
It makes perfect sense.
It's only one hole if you've got a cocaine addiction.
Because you destroy the cartilage that separates it.
That separates the two holes.
So it's the only thing separating the holes is cartilage.
No, but you said there's one hole.
That was me just fucking...
You fucked it by confusing the whole thing.
No, you guys are retarded.
Ear.
Ear.
Nostral.
Nostral.
Mouth.
Genitals.
Arse.
5, 6, 7.
No, that's bullshit.
8.
What's the 8th?
That one.
No.
You're forgetting the bellyburn.
Not a hole.
That's a fucking...
No, it's not.
That's a cave.
no how would fluff get stuck down there if it wasn't a hole
the ear hole isn't a hole
if the belly button isn't a hole
look alex like it's a fucking hole
no but it's not there's nothing that goes in
there's nothing deep within
no this is how you eat is a baby
are you saying it doesn't lead to an exit
this is fucked this is fuck
no your rules make no sense
Okay, you answer the question then.
No, you're saying.
You answer the fucking question.
No, the belly button is a hole.
I need to, like, draw this.
So if, if,
so imagine one hole goes all the way through zombie pig man's head.
That's one hole.
Right?
Right.
Another one goes halfway through his head.
That's an, that a hole?
That's a hole.
That's a hole.
but it's only got one entrance.
We're getting caught up on the definition of a word.
Okay, let me phrase it this way then.
There are seven entrances slash exits on the body.
Yeah, but you could say the belly button is an entrance.
To what?
Alex, when you're a baby.
The earhole go.
To the brain.
No, it doesn't.
There's a barrier.
Being the eardrum.
The belly button is a hole.
We can't deny that it is.
a hole. No, it's the most hole in the body.
So there's one hole all the way through. That's a hole. One halfway
through. What's that?
That's a hole.
Alex? Is that a hole? The one that goes
halfway through? What are you talking about?
Why is it a hole? What? So someone
shot a bullet and it got stuck on the skull?
Just, just imagine it. There's
a hole through his head. It's nose.
No. Fucking hell.
literal hole. That's not the, this is completely irrelevant. No, it's just
right. I'm, ironing out the rules. I'm trying to understand your logic
because you aren't using rules. You're just saying, no, that's not a whole
because it doesn't go anywhere. Yeah, but. Because think
about it. What about the people who have an outy? This is
fucked. How's it whole if it's a fucking outy? Can we,
can we move from the belly? Can we focus on this please? No, because
you just got, fuck.
an ouchy a hole
no but the outy isn't a hole
and it needs a hole
because it is a fucking hole
if you if you if I dig a hole in the floor
it might not go anywhere
it's still a fucking hole
that's my point
no that is correct
so it's a hole
but if we get it is a hole
if we're getting that granular though
that means some people have seven holes
and some people have eight
no but
that's that's deny
That was the purpose of the
This guy
The zombie pig man
Yeah to show you like if
If you can define a hole
As like a cavern
Right
It shouldn't matter the size
Let me put it this way then
The cavern
The holes I'm describing
Have some kind of biological purpose
There's no purpose to a belly bun
An ear hole is a purpose
Nostrils have a purpose
have a purpose a mouth has a purpose the arsehole has a purpose no no urethru
why are you focusing on purposes no can I add the belly button had a purpose when
we're a baby it's the only way we exist which is true but why but why does the purpose
even matter I think in terms of context and the fact we're talking about a human
body the context does matter because we're talking about a human body we're we're
purely talking about holes no we're talking about holes on the human body how many
holes as a person have.
So, so I think that the use,
the biological use of the thing is irrelevant.
Is relevant?
Who describes a belly button as a hole?
Like it, like, people say ear hole.
You know?
Are eyes holes?
No, no, the fucking belly button is a hole.
If you've got any belly button, that is a fucking hole.
There's no way around it.
What is it if it's not a fucking hole?
fucking hole.
What is it? Come on.
Let me just feel it.
It goes in, for sure.
Fluff is not going to get caught in it if it wasn't a hole.
Belly burn is a hole.
That's the most hole on your body.
It's got no use.
Just a hole.
So we're agreeing on 7 slash 8 then.
Depending on if you have an inner reality.
Wait, I'm...
What are you?
searching. We've gone for like
12 minutes on this one question.
I'm talking
I've Googled a hole.
What's the definition of a hole? A hollow
place in a solid body or surface.
So, by that definition
we're 70% water. Are we even
a solid, bro?
Not really. No, but surely
if that was the case, then there's no holes
on the human body. Besides
the belly bone.
The belly bun is the only hole.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
How does that make it that only hole?
Well, read it again.
So you can't mind me what I just said.
A hollow place in a solid body or surface.
No, but this isn't solid.
There's a fucking hollow thing here.
The inside's hollow.
Why's your inside's hollow?
Something wrong.
Well, you've got a stomach avenue.
That's not fucking solid.
It's hollow.
It's full.
I don't agree with that definition.
No, okay.
What, for a hole?
Yeah.
Oh, now you're fucking challenging.
the definition of the hole.
I'm challenging Google because think of a ball, a hollow ball.
If you stab it.
Wait, it's hollow called hollow because it's got a hole.
Holo.
Holo.
No.
No.
If a ball, like a football full of air, it's hollow in the middle.
But does it have a hole?
Yes, because how do they pump it up?
No, no, no.
There's a hole.
There's no pump.
I'm just saying a ball that's a hole.
that just exists, it's berth. It just exists. Yes, there'll be a hole.
Because how would you pump it up? It's not a hole then. No, oh my God. Because I feel like a hole
needs some kind of entrance or exit. Yeah, but this is saying just a hollow space. I guess
in the definition. In a surface. Yeah, that's what it said. It didn't specify a hole in a surface.
In a solid body or surface. Yeah, that works. No, in a solid body, though, if it was the surface of
solid body
but it's a solid body or surface
this is getting too granular for me
I can't I can't
okay
I'm just gonna Google how many holes
a fucking human has
yeah see what Google thinks
I have a feeling it's gonna say seven
okay
so
so surely
a girl would have more have more
have more
why would a girl have more
because of the foo
who?
Wait, yeah.
Wait, if, yeah.
Because they have a eerie threat and a vagina.
And milk
comes out of tities.
How's milk going to come out of those at the hole?
We've ignored nipples.
Oh, fuck.
Wait.
We fucked this.
How many holes are there in a male and female
human body? If you don't count
the pores on skin,
then there are eight holes in a
male body and nine holes.
We got there eventually.
In a female body.
Male.
How can they beat only one more hole on a female body if we're not including nipples?
Men can lactate.
This is classing eyes as a whole.
Wait, so...
No way.
What?
Two eyes, two ears, one nose.
Oh my god.
There it is.
One mouth.
But you have two nostrils, those.
I'm a fucking genius.
One urethra.
And one anus.
one fucking
think about the way
this is fucked
no no the nostial thing's white
I'm white
and you fucking know it
but they're counting two nipples as one
what
they didn't say nipples
for the women right
no no why do they have an extra
hole is the vagina so
so nipples aren't holes then
I guess not
no no what has the milk come from then
the pores
nipple is not a giant
paw
well obvious no like that's why they're called nipples
can we focus on the fact that
two nostrils is one hole
it's a cave with two entrances
but that means it's one hole
this is fuck this is fuck
no
I'm white on the nostril part
no let's think of one of those straws
that is one and then it goes into being two
it's still one
that's one straw
one hole
with two heads
but you said a straw
has two holes
so surely to you
that means it's got three holes
so the original debate
you were wrong
yes I'm okay with that
because I'm white now
um
that's the
this is the worst question
we've ever been asked
no this is a good question
this might be the best question
No, but why don't they consider nipples holes?
Because milk has to come out of them.
They are holes.
It's essential that milk comes out.
So they've got to be a hole.
There's got to be a hole for the milk to do.
How is the baby supposed to feed without the holes excreting milk for them to suckle?
Did they mention about the belly button?
No.
Yeah, so I was right about the belly button thing.
Wait, what the fuck?
So I was right about the belly button then.
The V-source clip I saw talking about, um,
this straw thing
yeah
it's from a video called
how many holes does a human have
oh for real
yeah so the answer's out there somewhere
well if anyone knows it's visa or theory
science is all theory remember
we could have cracked it right here right now
no but you've broken it because you just said
hey the nipples and milk are vital
for baby the baby butt the belly bun's
vital for baby because that's the only way
you're going to exist no but
no that works
So it's a hole when you're still connected to your mother?
Yes.
But that...
No, it's not.
It's not a fucking hole, man.
Forget this belly button thing.
This is agreed.
No, but it's...
You're right on the nose thing, but wrong on the belly bun.
No, but no, but an out and in the belly bun is a hole.
If you remove it and use the definition, then yes, it is a hole.
Therefore, it's a hole.
But when we're trying to, you know, we need fucking rules and order, otherwise it's complete chaos.
You don't get to say rules.
Only I get to say rules
You don't
Yeah, if I can do
On nipples holes then
Yes
So it's 10, 10
10 or 11
10 or 11
No, add 12
12 and 13
Why?
Each nostril
So you agree
I have one more
Because we've only
One nostrils's already been added
So it's only one more
So it'd be
I'm not debating the
The fact that the nostrils
Lead to the same pathway
Yeah, it's just like two straws next to each other
No, because it's one straw
They're not two straws
They're one straw
There's no way
There are two straws up there that go into your brain
It's one
Go into your brain
We have to stop
We have to stop 19 minutes on that
Let me just quickly grab a quote from
I can has cheeseburger
A Lowl Cat Collection
um
nosy neighbor cat
sees you hide in
tebodies
but no no
no we're done just no that was the end of
this is move on no
this is move on so
there's
no no you're not going to
fucking bring up the nose or the belly button
or any of it let me just get a new quote
for uh the finalization
call for
for help. I is stuck
for reels this time.
This picture of a cat with his head stuck
in a chair.
Derek the pig has this.
If you all had to make a game based around
minions, what kind of game would it be?
No. No, I refuse
to answer this question. What would be the plot?
No. Come on,
I already
asked it now. Now people want to know the answer.
No.
You can answer it.
There used to be this flash game
I absolutely loved.
It was just a rip-off
of worms, basically.
Minion worms?
Minion worms.
Honestly, that's probably
the vicious deaths,
best answer possible.
Like, I could actually see that
being a thing,
like worms teaming up with minions
to get worms relevant again.
Like, on mobile.
So I just crush that question, basically.
Where is it?
There we are.
Cow of Satan says
What video game or movie characters
Do you think would smell the worst?
Sonic
All of the ones when we're dead
People in red there would stink
They would be stinky
But Sonic would be stinky
Master Chief
Think about the like sweat
That Sonic would create
The hedgehog sweat?
Yeah, the chili dog thing
All he eats is fucking chili dog
Well if it's fucking funny fart Sonic
Which I didn't mention in the earlier section
Sonic shouldn't be funny fart
I think he shouldn't be
But yeah
If it was funny fart Sonic yeah
He'd be stanky as hell
Every character
I had different gears of war
The muscles in the armour
Like they'd have some stank
I wouldn't really say anything to sci-fi
Yeah because you can assume
If they're wearing mega power armour
Like master chief
It's like inherently
They have some bullshit like cleaning thing
Yeah
It keeps them clean and stuff
Resident Evil characters
Yeah
Like Leon and
What about like Skyrim factors?
They must reek
No they got fresh cold
No Skyim doesn't have enough fun
Yeah it does
You think the main guy in Skyrim's
Fucking smells like roses
No I think he smells of nothing
Resident Evil characters though
With no wanting water
And the dead
And like out of the sewers and stuff
That would be fucking reek
Also like
wotting bodies on them
yeah yeah that that stank could be
top what about like the main character
from Horizon Zero Dawn
nah
walking through flowers all the time
probably smells quite nice
Jim
yeah she's stinky
stinky but not
aloy stinky
Stinky
Aloy as hell
Nna
Fortnite
pretty stinky
Thanos and Fortnite
Yeah, Thanos from Fortnite pretty stinky
Nathan Drake probably is a bit stinky
Yeah, but he'd be that like
Hot musky man stinky
You know?
Yeah
So it'd be kind of nice in a weird way
Yeah
Whereas I don't know if Alois stinky
Would be nice
Lauer
I feel like she would have the same
Nathan kind of nice stink
I was just checking your sexism
What he thought was going to say
Nets, she's gross
um film characters
Walter White probably has some stank
when they're
trapped in the caravan
stank that's definitely
stinky boys
uh slimer
slimer we don't know what he smells like he could smell really nice
I reckon he smells bad
though because they like their face when they get slimed you know it's like true no
but it could be just a feeling I would suspect both what about porny from men
and black international I he's like the stinkiest thing ever no I think he smells
quite nice do you think he smells like a baby yeah you're like baby hair
what about minions they stink because they wear goggles all the time they wear
goggles and dungarees constantly and like um rubber shoes but
and gloves just like red dead characters worse yeah but they're not and they're
evil like in law they're evil so they probably want to smell and there are
hordes of them in grue's basement so um presumably iron iron man at the start of end
game what about a zombie make a fucking stank zombie pig man yeah
Yeah, because he's rotting flesh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sandy?
No.
She's in that spacesuit.
Underwater.
No.
She always looks quite cleanly.
Do you know what I mean?
Or a squirrel.
Squirrels are rodents, man.
But she's got like an underground fucking...
She's fairly sophisticated, yeah, I'll give you that.
No stank.
No stank.
What's like the stinking?
The tinkiest Pokemon.
Probably one that is like his whole thing is being stinky.
Yeah, there's a few, right?
Yeah.
One that's not like completely obvious.
Can we just say the Sladeen?
The Slidine from Doctor Who?
Yeah.
Yeah. They would stink.
Yeah.
They'd stink of shite.
Can we move on this?
It's just wrong
Like there's
It's not cool
It's not funny
It's just a bit too far really
Coon Flakes
708 underscore V2
Says hello jar
Who are your favourite and most hated teachers
In primary school
Um
Can't remember any of them
I don't really remember primary school teachers
I don't have a memory
I was scared of my year two teacher
That's because she picked my side in the war
no she didn't she did
no she didn't she did
wait no she
she was only like my English teacher
or something
uh
and my year three teacher
was a
just a bit of a grumpster
yeah the grumpster ones were no fun
yeah the one I remember most
was um from secondary school
this this guy who just had this
ridiculous like totalitarian way of um commanding the class i know exactly it's like this weird
pervert guy yeah apparently he actually was a perv really yeah he'd like intentionally drop pens and
pencils and get girls to for real bend over and it's very immoral yeah for a fucking
teacher like jesus ex-military as well
There you go.
James?
Yes.
James.
James.
Yes.
James?
James.
James. Come on.
James.
Hello.
James.
Don't ignore me!
James.
what are the people listening supposed to think is happening right now james what you can blame
instant five stars for that because they told me to do that okay oh how funny they told me
to just say james over and over again until i clocked that on the first james
did no you didn't yes i fucking did it's so obvious what did you say how how would you have done
it then no it's nothing you can do about it but they they are often getting you to do things
and they are becoming predictable.
So you think they need to get more creative?
Yeah, way more creative.
James!
James!
Try harder.
You're letting yourselves down.
Annung Garbage says,
whatever happened to shithead Larry?
For those who don't know,
shithead Larry was this weird, like, cat
that used to just come into my flat
when we did the cast in the flat.
And apparently...
He came in, what, once or twice?
No, it came into my flat all the time.
in summer because I just let the doors open
you'd always be by the on the wall
yeah but you said
when we filmed the cast
yeah it was only on one cast ages ago
but um
apparently it was like it went missing
apparently was kidnapped
yeah it was an expensive
cat
yeah it was one of those weird
like Persian ones or something
I was there I was just tapping my can
in the way I said that I thought I looked like
a criminal
like it was me that stole the cat
It wasn't me.
Um, sure.
Do you want to confirm that a bit?
I didn't steal the cut.
I know.
He did.
To do the cat.
Someone started their fucking question by saying bellow.
Bellow, jaw.
Like a fucking minion.
I'm not answering it just because I started it like that.
Do one more quick question, like a quick one.
Hello, boys.
I'm just wondering what the fuck Alex has done to the nursery trampoline he got for Christmas.
That's from Joseph Zed Khan.
He's burnt it.
James
Tell the truth
Quickly before we in
Tell them the truth
Tell the truth
I can't
No we can't do that Alex
Okay
Make an educated
Everybody
Yeah make an educated
That's another one for the books
Guys
Cheerio
Ladi yo
Hope you enjoyed it
Thanks for supporting
I said over to Patreon
Please let us know
How many holes the human body has
Yeah
Eat my ass
Fucking bitch
Boom boom
Smack
smack
smack
