JAR Media Posdact - Calm Down Cowboy - JARCAST Episode 166

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

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Calm down, Cowboy Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the pass. John Media podcast. Nice one.

Before we get into anything, I just want to thank our homies, our bros, our sisters. our humbres our um poyos hermannoses our sisters our brothers our mothers our fathers our whatever niece and nephews yeah just all family things for supporting us over on patreon the patreons over at patreon as they are known everybody and thank you to everyone who's bought a t-shirt they're looking sweet as fuck on all you they are they look actually brothers and sisters they look so good yeah i've been trying to

Trying to retweet as many people as I can. Yeah. Who, um, send their pictures in on JAR Media. I worry if it's getting too many. I know. You know what I mean? I love it, though. It's so fucking awesome.

I need to actually get just get one of the Jarmedia shirts. Yeah, same. A little logo, because they are so good. And I could use another new shirt. So what's this one-66, the number of the devil? Wait, shit. No, that's six-six. Yeah, yeah, I did.

Oh, nice one. It's six-s-siss. I know, James. Okay, you know, that's five hundred. 500 episodes away dog almost there yep that's true

now that we got that nonsense out the way no just kidding it ain't nonsense um what's happened this week anything new to report yeah epic is uh what to import

actually I'd like to start off by saying what are you talking about dog I don't fucking know but last Sunday I went to Japfest and a Jaffan told me. Explain what Japfest is?

Okay, Japfest are people who might know. No, it's the Europe's biggest Japanese car like meeting, you know, at a track. You know, there's track racing going on, drifting. And it was getting to 11 o'clock and this is when the drifting started. So these were like professionals, you know, trying to do, you know, a competition. So I go in, I sit down. Front row, and I'm sitting down with my dad. I just turn around to look behind me.

And I turn up, these three guys sitting up there. I almost directly behind us. And I see that one of them started to wave. I didn't think it was at me, so I just kind of ignored it. And then I'll sit in my car lunch and Garland Instagram message me saying, I knew you'd be here. So it was him, and he waved at me and I didn't notice. But yeah, fucking epic.

Hope you enjoyed the drifting. It was great. is um like trigger warning is japp the preferred nomenclature what for japanese people yeah you're the otaku tell us inform us can no continue i guess so right it's just the easiest very minute you talk about japanese cars it's not japanese cars it's japp fest because it's just japanese so i guess that would work for everything and not just cars specifically. It's just when I hear the word Jap, I think of my

bit racist granddad. This makes me want to ask you another question. Okay. Thank God. So, you enjoy Japanese things an otaku? No, I enjoy...

That's the thing. I enjoy a very specific Japanese thing. You are a weebie. No. How? No, I'm telling you. I'm not asking you. How are you telling me? No, but this, the, the question is, would you prefer to be called a weaboo or an otaku?

Wibu? Why? I think that goes down to what, like, an otaku is in Japan. Weirbu is more, doesn't have the same weight as Otaku does. Otaku is like a seasoned veteran of Japanese media and... Anime and, yeah, just... What does it mean in, uh, in Jap? I'm pretty sure it's a term that refers to a Western person that's really into Japanese culture.

No, no. In Japan, like, Otaku means anyone who's, like, heavily, like, in with, like, the anime culture and all that. It doesn't have to be, like, Western or any other nationality. It's just anyone who is. I just... I heard the word in Metal Gear Solid, where Otokon says the snake, I'm an anime otaku. Oh jeez.

Hence the name Otokon. Otaku con. Octagon. Right, got it. But obviously, Riyibu is like a Western person who's like completely obsessed of Japanese culture and wants to go to Japan and learn the language and all that. Not me. I don't have any interest in learning the language. I would because if I were to visit, obviously you want to learn the language so you can speak.

Well, I can speak it pretty well. But I only care about one specific Japanese culture. and to be honest there's so many people who care about it it's just like you said earlier in KFC though that uh

Japanese women don't do it for you which is pretty you did say that no you're like yeah it doesn't do it for me there's so many so many of our Japanese listeners

just just have given up unsubscribed because of you James I didn't say that you did say that you said there your words not mine

I remember the word repulsive I remember the word filthy I'm just going to put it out there This is not true at all And if you're my honest opinion Is it doesn't matter what Doesn't matter what Nationality

Anything if you fall in love of sign You fall in love of them Doesn't matter Very optimistic nice thing to hear Not how the world works of course Yep That's just my viewpoint So if they were

I fall in love with an Asian I fall in love with an Asian I fall in love with an Asian What if you fall in love with a man? I fall in love with a man, okay. I don't believe you. It's already happened, so you're bi-sexual?

I don't know, I'm not in love with a man. Finally, we have a bye on the cast. No, I'm by. I'm in love with the Italian waiter, the local Italian. That man is so fucking gorgeous. When we went to Italian last time, Jim was just like fucking...

No, not just last time, every time. Every time, Jim is just focused on that fucking... Jim tips him heavily. Yeah. That's why I got no money left. Anyway, speaking of gorgeous men. Oh, it's like, yeah, gorgeous otaku's. Something happened, what was it, what was it yesterday?

Today? Yes, as of us recording it. It was yesterday? Yesterday when I got home. To be precise. Something that hit the YouTube community hard. Like a big storm, like a big wave. Hit hard, literally.

About four inches of. really hard stuff hit. I'm gonna let you take this away because... Oh dear. So there's a YouTuber called Pro Jared. I'm really sure some people might have heard about this already.

Had about a million subs. As of like 48 hours ago. He did sort of gaming videos. He had not uploaded in four months as of yesterday or whatever. Yeah, he did videos like reviewed E3.

He was kind of in the style of like peanut. but a gamer who's kind of a more popular channel um that kind of content anyway but the drama of course is that he he fucking cheated on his wife he cheated on his wife basically and it was like this huge it didn't just end there he was cheating on his wife with another youtubeers ex-wife and it's just this like absolute mess this huge drama this man's life has just come unfolded in front of our eyes And even more information came out where apparently he had some kind of Tumblr blog.

Yeah, it was like a cult. You're going to have to explain it because I don't understand it. All I've heard while is that he had a blog on Tumblr where he would get nudes from his fans. Yeah, but they would be posted publicly. Right. And it was for body positivity. That's how he got his wife to let him get away with it.

a thing sooner? Yeah, I don't know. Didn't Onisian do something really similar to that? Yes, really? Pictures from, for one of his video series, like, young teenage girls would send him pictures and he'd, like, review them

objectively or something. Onision has done the same thing, and then there was something, Austin, who got underage girls to send him, like... He was a singer? He was, and he's actually... Wasn't he Australian?

I thought he was just American. Yeah, but he's actually gone to prison now. He's actually been convicted. Yeah, he was convicted of producing child porn. Yeah. Really? Christ. And then now pro-Jarid is in that mix.

Yeah, so, of course, everyone's, you know. The Jarrids, man. Yeah, you've got the Jarad Letto. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Absolute. Subway. Jared. Yep.

Actual paedophile. Convicted paed. Pro-Jard. um pro jarrows whatever the fuck he is all of the above yeah it's really fucked there's always just like two a year isn't there probably more

yeah well two big ones a year it makes me wonder how many big YouTubers do what he does you know get a news yeah well I mean it makes you question like literally every type of celebrity you know like I mean if yeah if he's been doing shit like this what about

actual huge celebrities with mega power. Kanye's. Pro Jarrett should do it. Kanye raps about it though. Like Yeah. How he's always like, you know,

fucking women all the time or whatever. It's just, I don't know. Like, they get inflated egos and then there's just it's literally people just like sending messages like, oh, I love you.

Want to see my pussy? And then they're like, Well, I guess I'm kind of cool and awesome and rich. Okay, let's have a wank. Wicked. But like, I know I ain't Brad Pitt or nothing. This dude fucking ugly. And I can happily say that now that like, all this...

Now that everyone agrees. Yeah, yeah. It was pretty heinous. No, no, I'd go worse than that. He was horrible. What he did was just fucking terrible. Oh, yeah. And on top of that

Everything he did to his wife Yeah His wife did not deserve that She's kind of cute James casting out Isn't that Fucking hell What she

Should know you gotta be able She is like ten times Better than him Oh yeah But I mean So is a fucking goldfish Damn It's gone nasty man

We're just going in On pro Jared today I'm not even trying to defend it though Whatever man But I mean the dude looks like a creep Yeah He's got certain bird-like qualities I mean, I'm not trying to insult the guy

He just looks like a bird Yeah, no It's nothing personal But he's fucking ugly And now you're allowed to say it Yeah Because of course If he had a lovely personality

Then it wouldn't mess Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course But you know If anything it would have been good Like, wow, well done For getting your cosplay girl wife Otaku, whatever You can live out all your weird

fantasies through your cosplay girlfriend or whatever. Nice. But no, you had to go and ruin it. Although, it's so dramatic all of this. It's like a fucking playground. It reminds me of secondary school, all of us. And I can take better ass pics in him.

Yeah, of course. It reminds me of when some of Leafy's nudes got out there, pictures of his willy and all that. James, James posted one of them. I showed one on the cast we did. And you put it on Twitter, didn't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, of course, all of his nudes went out. All these creepy pictures.

Where, like, he was very confident. I mean, that's, maybe that's why he was so successful with the ladies. He clearly had confidence. Who, Leafy? No, I'm talking about pro-charids. Oh, okay, yeah. There are these nudes out there. All his, all his pictures, I mean, in hindsight, the dude had a huge ego. He might have been... Seems that way. cut down to size a bit now but like he seemed mega confident it's weird yeah i mean i

guess i guess it works clearly we have a bit of confidence so if you learned anything about it looks really don't matter then i suppose you put like a bird and still still get away with it still have luck with the ladies oh it's sad isn't it yeah yeah i mean the dude had power over these people as well so it's not just confident i just don't get why it's taken so long for people to talk about it like surely the people yeah who's doing youtube would have been like he's actually married to this this girl why should i like well his wife knew about the whole tumbler thing but he said it was for body positivity and apparently she was just like okay that's fine makes no sense no but yeah i mean i'd say it's

that is a foolish thing on her part? I don't know but we don't know because if she was being gaslit then that's when it gets into it as well because if it was doing it for so long then she would have been in that situation for ladies as well so that might be

maybe it was a controlling personality or something it does sound it do you think it's kind of fucked up how like these people's dirty laundry just is cast out for the whole internet to

Like I was looking at his his Reddit earlier which had a has about 12,000 subscribers but about 13,000 were online on the subreddit just because so many people are just looking at the subreddit just wanting to see new stuff and it's all the drama at the moment I mean it just shows how careful you have to be online Even Darkside Phil was jumping in like for some reason this this really took off. I guess it doesn't happen that often to this extreme you get the odd paedophile I think it took off because

he posted like this post this picture of like this paragraph that only explained that it was like the divorce and stuff and then she his wife like post is saying that he blocked her trying to like silence the fact of what she went through and that's when she explained it and that's when it got traction

because that's a slope I assume the way it happened was he made that statement and then everyone started asking her about his statement because if you read her thing she says I have no idea what statement he's made because she hasn't seen it because he blocked her yeah because he blocked her

so that I mean it all just fucking went mental from there and it's got a wide like it's been picked up by all these news sites and everything I think it's because it's not just like on drama alert

it's everywhere no it's BBC you know which is in England is Really? Yeah, I've seen a BBC. Wow. And I think it's because it's an infidelity case. People do love that stuff, it's juicy. They fucking love it. So the guy's 33.

I always thought he was way younger than that. He looks younger. Yeah, well, he doesn't, he doesn't. His body definitely doesn't. Yeah. Just a cluster fuck of a situation. Whatever. Yeah.

I don't really have much more to say, to be honest. I mean, everyone will forget about it in a week or whatever. That's the thing. James reckoned it would... I don't think he'll come back. Yeah, James... I don't think he'll make videos. You reckon you'll be back?

Mm-hmm. Yep. Give it time for people to forget it, then people just start watching his videos. There's kind of, like, equal examples of people that try and come back after stuff. Like Toby Turner, after all the drama around him, he did come back. and I think he's still going. His shit wasn't so concrete, though.

Yeah. Lionmaker. He disappeared. Or Lionmaker? Lionmaker. That ringed a bell. You what? That name rings a bell.

He was a Minecraft YouTuber. Oh, okay. Really shady. Yeah, there you go. What did he do again? Oh, he did all sorts. There's that colossal is crazy interview with him. That's right, yeah.

He didn't he do more like, underage stuff he had like a 14 year old girlfriend or something yeah and they like tweeted stuff out from his Twitter account all very weird if you want to know about that watch that cost yeah he had like a weird breakdown it's all yeah I remember that one yeah my own so whatever that's enough of the pro jarris thing yeah I don't have a smart transition from this subject to another one because I don't know what else has happened this week we saw a movie today Jim hyped for, I know. I'm not hyped for it at all. Which as, as, um, I went to look at my phone to look

at how old pro jared was, I saw a good YouTuber who I like called the cosmonaut variety out with literally just uploaded a video called Detective Pikachu, the first decent video game movie. What? I really don't know. I don't agree on that one. But, um, yeah, we saw Detective Pikachu and I wasn't expecting it to be great or anything. um i always thought it looked pretty shit but it was so much worse than i was anticipating i thought the movie was like fine up until like huh this might

just scrape by on a two star i was i was honestly thinking two and a half star right down the middle you at the whole time it still felt like a nicolodeon movie though yeah with a bit of a higher budget up until the last act it might have the worst last act of um like a big blockbuster i've seen in so long yeah the movie actually crumbles upon itself like they just establish new rules and it's just like what the fuck it kills itself it's like jogging and then just before it reaches

the end it pulls out a gun and fucking sucks on it and pulls the trigger it I felt like I was losing my mind in that last act yeah I mean I guess we won't spoil it no but it's just like the spoil detective Pikachu for you if you were excited for this movie then what the fuck people love Pokemon man if you love Pokemon then

no I have a fond memory for that early Pokemon yeah the first movie 90s and Mu, 90s kid It's kind of cool I think Me Too's cool and smash

I think he's like an interesting character I like the I like the character design of Pokemon I think they're cool Mm-hmm

Of course they kind of ruin that in the movie Yeah Yeah I was looking Before we went to see it Yesterday I was looking On Metacritic

At all the sort of video game movies And I was like Surely there's got to be one There's got to be one sort of decent one The World of Warcraft fun is decent Well yeah I was looking at the Metacritics though And World of Warcraft has

Or it's just called Warcraft I think It just has it's got like a 30 something It's not that bad It's not that bad I didn't think that one was that bad Not at all The problem I had with that World of Warcraft movie Is I just had no clue what was going on

Never did I Never played World of Warcraft That's the only problem It's just not you don't know shit about To me that one struck me more It's like if you really like World of Warcraft you'd probably get quite a lot out of that movie.

But with something like Detects a Pikachu. Uh-huh. It's bad for the fans and it's bad for newcomers. Yeah. It's, the movie is for no one. Aside from people who will just be pleased with a Pokemon. Yeah. Seeing Torizard on the big screen.

Yeah. Because they don't even look good, do they? No, they look terrible. Yeah. But I was looking through all the video game movies because, Jim was like, I remember the Rock saying something like, Rampage is the highest rated super... Sorry.

Video game movie. Like, it's got like a 45. Yeah. But he was boasting about it. That was his. Sounds a lot. No, but he was also in Doom, which is like one of the worst rated ones. Then I was like, no, there must

be one. I'm missing. There must be a video game movie that is okay, or at least rated higher than fucking 45. Because you got the Hitman movie, which was... Oh my God, yeah. Hit Man movie said, no, I actually tried to watch that movie recently. Like, the new Hit Man movie.

The one with Zachary Quinto. Fuck me. They're just, they're unwatchable a lot of the time. Yeah. Like the Resident Evil movies, most of them are complete. No, they're great. They're not, like, they're not even funny, entertaining. No, they're just, they're so incompetent and, like, so lazy.

I like them, just because. that one actor? The best actor in those movies? I of course have a special connection with them. Yeah. Because, you know, of the first movie and what it means to my sexuality. But aside from that, I mean, fuck me. They're fucking, I

but they're interesting to watch. No, they're not because the action scenes are so badly edited. Yeah, they are awful. I, because they're not like stunt actors, so they just cut every two seconds or less. They don't even get four seconds. It's normally like three cuts a second. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

action yeah oh god but then there's also like the assassin's creed movie which even I couldn't get through I got through all of it it makes no no sense I watched that and I thought I was like

out of my head I it made no sense I didn't understand any of it and I was just like I'm amazed yeah I couldn't get through no but the thing is Rampage is the best video game movie ever made I still think Rampage is better than Detective Becachew there must be another one

At least Rampage is kind of like consistent You know Yeah Detective Pikachu's all over the place Detective Pikachu And it also thinks it's better than it is Yeah Also kind of annoyed me about it

It wasn't really Aware of what it was doing And all the implications Of the universe It tried to It was really fucking lazy world building As well So fucking lazy

It would have been so much better If it was just an animated movie I'm I'm wondering that might like it more than Deadpool Oh God No, Deadpool is better than Detective Beaked you, don't

Don't even go there So what's our predictions for Sonic? The Sonic movie Oh shit We haven't even talked about the Sonic movie Which is coming out soon I mean obviously it looks Fucking awful

Apparently the trailer has like 30 million views or something I'm convinced it was all bullshit I fucking I bet you they're leaked those original like pictures of the terrible like weird-legged sonic and we're like because they probably had like a rough outline of this film and were like this is shit this is so fucking shit this is one of those things you came up with this theory that they like that sonic design from the trailer was never the one they would originally

use yeah but so I heard you say that and then I've seen other people saying the same thing And it's like If other people are saying it It could be fucking true I don't believe it I understand Sonic is attached to like the worst shit like ever Yeah yeah Sonic team isn't isn't known for their

Their consistency right To their brand But Sonic has a look It's the one thing Sonic has It's a recognisable character design Why would they do that It makes literally no sense. They fucking knew that this mediocre movie that otherwise would have got a couple million views,

maybe a couple of commentary channels would make a video about how lame it looks or whatever and then they move on. But they knew that this fucking design is so fucking bad that it would spark like an internet discussion. And look what's happened. Look what's fucking happened. the director even acknowledged it on Twitter funny do really but it's like was anyone surprised that a Sonic the Hedgehog movie looked like shit as if changing the design is even fucking important as if it would improve the movie at all Jim Carrie funny do yeah to be honest he can carry

Carrie looks awesome in that film that the film look it's gonna be worse with an improved Sonic design because it's just gonna be like more like Sonic which is shit and like at least if Sonic look the way he does in this trailer looks like this fucking otherworldly

fucking mutant creature that's come from another dimension to haunt then that would have been something it would have been memorable for that reason

almost like it would almost be like that Mario Bros movie from the 90s yeah it was like inspired boat Blade Runner it would be like

that level but instead I don't know We don't, so we have to see what they're going to do. Do you think it'll be better or worse than Detective Pikachu? I'll say better. I reckon, um... I think Jim Carrey might be the reason it's better.

I think it... Jim Carrey... The biggest problem with Detective Pikachu is that it's fucking boring. Yeah. It's a boring film for babies. And it's not funny. And Ryan Reynolds sucks. There's like, there's...

I walked away and I was like, fuck that film. So boring. No, I leaned over to you, like, an hour and 20 minutes in and just said, I'm so fucking bored. Yeah. I was looking on my watch I was thinking about eating beans Just anything anything

I went and took like a 20 minute piss And then looked at the time was like Fucking 40 more minutes What Pikachu cute though It's the one good thing about the movie is Pikachu cute Yeah I almost wanted to cry Because of how cute Pikachu

But they fucking ruin it by having it be Fucking Ryan Reynolds God damn it that guy's so fucking unfunny It's the best though When the one good Pikachu bit is when it cuts to, like, him with the original Pikachu voice.

Yeah. It's like, oh, that's some Pikachu should sound. God damn it. Such bad casting. Anyway. Well, yeah, Sonic the Headchog. As if anyone gives a shit about Sonic. I give a shit. I love her people. Ruben gives a shit.

Yeah. Ruben actually has a right to be upset about it because he's a true Sonic fan. He's one of the few left. The only... The first Sonic thing I ever liked was him in Smash Bros. Brawl. Yeah. Agreed.

I like doing that Sonic Triple Fighter game. I thought that that trailer was just such a great amalgamation of what Sonic the Headshog represents. Yeah.

A shitty fucking throwaway character who is so fucking lame who belongs in a film that shit. It's like Alvin and the Chipmunks. It is, yeah. Or Woody Woodpecker

or something like that. Or hop. Yeah, hop. or anything like that, it looks just as shit as those and changing the art style of his character design weren't it? It's not gonna fucking make a difference. The film's gonna be the fucking same garbage

with the worst voice but funny do. Speaking of funny day, we'll see you after these messages. M's giddy-ish. Guess what we got in store for you today, lads? John many of t-shirts? Check the description below. Before we get into the question bit,

okay, okay. We need to have a discussion with James. Oh, why? What have I done? What have I done? So, uh, I'm sorry we have to do this, but this is your first formal warning. Um, this is a disciplinary. Yes, oh, fuck.

I've been called into my disciplinary. Okay. Oh, sit like I do in that means. So you fucked up big time, obviously. uh i don't know what are you wearing my clothes i i i'm wearing my work clothes because i've come back from work to yeah and what's missing what is missing from your current attire um oh come on don't play games alcohol oh yeah i've got my alcohol That's not a tire either. That's a fucking drink.

It's a beverage. Where the fuck is your poncho? Did you not get the fucking memo, asshole? I did not get the memo. Nobody informed me. Well, you look like a dick now, don't you? One more episode that you're not wearing a poncho, you're fucking out. You're gone. Okay, I understand, Jamie.

It's a new rule. I'll do better next time. Yes, you fucking will. The new rule on the jarcast is that we have to all be wearing ponchos. Otherwise, just get out. Okay, okay. I've heard your message

and I'll consider this and try to improve... I don't consider it. My work, f-it. No, no. It's not about consideration. It's... About doing.

It's about if there's no poncho, there's no you. And it's about joining the Adderol nation. Yeah, get Adderall. Get poncho. That's it. Okay, okay. That's what you need in life.

Well, Jamie, I'd like to say that yours doesn't... match There's not need to match It's a motherfucking poncho Have you ordered

A matching poncho I ordered a matching poncho Before he even ordered His fucking poncho Okay well I'll buy one That's um blue Get whichever one As long as you're wearing one

That's what matters Yeah it's a poncho Is it a rag with a hole in the middle Yes Exactly We need to respect our Nepalese listeners Can I just say Yawid would have had better news

If we've tried Choward. Why do you call him Yarrid? I don't know. Are you Nordic? I don't know. Probably. Yarl, you know, spoke Jarl? A good way to know how to pronounce a word is just pronounce it the opposite way to the way James does it.

It's like quite a consistent rule. Okay, give me examples of that because that's bullshit. Evangelion. Yeah. How do you say statistics? Statistics. Okay. No, the same rule also kind of works without that.

Lots of characters. from animators. Okay, like... Like, Ayanami Uray. Ironami way. No, you didn't say... You used to say, right. I've always said that. I don't know. You're all about...

No. Come on, let's do some questions. Wait. We didn't bring out fleshlight. A fucking course. Alex hasn't chosen. What the fuck are you doing? This is...

This is fleshlight's disciplinary. Flashlight. you've not gonna swear at you but let me just say I'm disappointed in you disappointed you you promised us you done us dirty you done done us dirty you know what you know what they did

say the rug is they grabbed the rug and they fucking pulled it from Benita Tuffy it's the most disgusting thing yeah it's the most disgusting thing why would you tweet at us oh uh DM us please

let me I don't want to get on down on my knees and beg, but I fucking will. All right? We just want to, we just want the pleasure. The pleasure of introducing the show. Something they are experts in pleasure. We just want to be able

to say, hello and welcome to the JARCast, the number one sex toy podcast on the internet. Sponsored by Fleshlight, pick up your destroyer today. Or whatever one's on special at the time. Suck who dry. I don't fucking know.

Listen, Flashlight, we don't ask for much You know, just humor us Just give us one of them Them deals where you get like 5% off or something Yeah, fucking 2% off Check this out there If I could just say Head over to fleshlight

com or whatever it is And use code banana To get 5% off of Flashlight Or something like that We'd make our day. But you know what we're doing wrong? We're giving them free advertising. Yeah.

But yeah. We should find their competitor and see if they're interested. James, what's the fleshlight competitor? Tenga toys. Tanga? Everyone starts to eat at Tenga. We're going to be a Tenga. Fleshlight betrayed us.

Tengers on new best friend. Fleshlights out. Tenga's in. So we all need to get a few tanga eggs and review them So we actually know what we're talking about Tenga eggs Yeah, the little eggs Never seen those things before? Gunggy little eggs, you just go

In the dick But they also do like a flashlight They do their equivalent And they're okay They're better We're coming for your tanga Let's not say either a better Until we get a sponsor from one of them

Well yeah Just tweet at both of them Yeah, the same tweet, same tweet, say something along the lines of at Tenga, at Fleshlight. You really gonna make me choose? No, tag us as well. Obviously, yeah, obviously. At four funnies. We need this sponsorship, otherwise Jarl's going fucking down.

Fleshlight have been put on the spot now. They can lose us to their competitors. They've got, they know as well. The way the stock market works, we, we get sponsored. which everyone sponsors us, their stocks, fucking rock it. They don't, they just don't appreciate how ahead of the curve we are. Yeah, we're anti-group-think. We make our own groups and people group-think...

Just watch. From our groups. Just watch. First Madagascar, now Kung Fu Panda. Not fucking... KFC. Fleshlights. Okay, now you can do questions.

So if you want to leave your own questions for us to answer on the JARCast, which is this show right now. Head over to the JAR Media Reddit where there is one Suggestions thread because I unpin the one that had been stuckyed there for a long time Like a year like a good few year Because I forgot it's just literally like two clicks and then it's gone Let's start off we want from minga ding a ding Hey guys I was wondering sorry I just needed to burp if you could wish me georgie Good luck on my GCS

I'm a huge fan of the jarcast and hearing my favorite YouTubers wish me luck would be top-notch. Thanks guys, stay minging. Okay ready. Thanks for all the videos. One, two, three, go. Happy luck day to Georgie. Happy luck day to Georgie. Do really well on your website.

Happy luck day. Happy luck day For your GCSE Woo! Good luck You'll do well Yeah if he fails Then no

He got an issue I mean And I guess good luck to all the Jesus of jarlings I'm sure there's more than one out there You smash that stuff out and you The next other question was from Cameron the cannibal who said, could you wish Georgie

bad luck on his GCSE? Happy bad luck day to Georgie. Ali underscore B underscore 8 says question for Alex. In some old casts, you mentioned how awkward and uncomfortable you found going to the hairdressers and how you put off getting a trim. But I must say over the last few months

your hair's been looking damn slick, brov. What changed? He went to the hairdressers You stopped cutting your own hair Everything changed I was complaining on the cast that I hated going to the hairdresser because The joint that I went to there were three hairdressers there

Two of which were bad only one of which was good so it was just a gamble Because I don't want to go in there because Rubin goes to the same hairdresser and he just says Oh just say I only want this one hairdresser I don't want this one hairdresser stress of turning down people who are doing their job having to see the look on their face as I'm saying sorry I don't want you to do your job because I think your shit I want that one to do it because I know that one's good at it yeah I that's rude to me and that put me in an awkward position it just makes the whole experience nasty noonoo however

there's another hairdresser down the street not even that far away I had a garbage haircut from that place and was like I can't I can't do this anymore it's too much stress on my There's too much weight weighing down on me. So just on a whim, I was just walking past her and I was like, you know what? I'm just going in. Went in. And I was like, I sat down in the chair to this guy. Never talked to him before. I was like, listen. I find going to the hairdress is really stressful. It fucks me up. I didn't say the F word obviously. And he was like, oh. Why? and that's what I was like

because I keep getting really bad haircuts and he was like let me have a look he was like oh yeah they fuck this up so so terribly that they fuck this up they fuck that up look let me fix this for you there you go

and now Alex looks fucking dappo as fuck you said like the other week that you hate Alex's in the hair I don't know what you're on about that that is the actual truth though James did say that I was joking with my good No, funny story

to do with that same hairdresser, the same bloat. When I was like 14, 15, yeah. My mum gave me a haircut, and it was so fucking shit. It was so, so bad. I remember, yeah? And I was like, we gotta get this fixed.

I just remember looking in the mirror and being like, what the fuck? I looked like one of the Beatles or something so we drove down to this hairdresser and I remember like people from my year at school

were at Sainsbury's and like I was just like oh fuck getting down in the car seat like it was horrible and so we arrived at the hairdresser and my mum was like I just fuck this kid's hair I was so bad and he was like well clearly

and then he sort of me out good and proper I had a banging haircut for a bit, I mean... Actual legend. Yeah, no, he's such a nice guy. I've been there like twice because I'd never get my haircut, but every time he sees me, he gives me like a little wave. Yeah.

He's such a nice guy. And once when I was there, he was like, something about your face rings familiar. No way. Do I know someone? And I was like, yeah, you fixed my brother's hair once. He was like, oh yeah. That's crazy.

So this is the guy you're telling me about. So I should go there. You should go there because he's an awesome hairdresser. I'm just gonna say, can you give me the hair of my friend? No, but... Thorne who's got the face? Honestly, honestly... I don't know anything about hair.

I don't know what I want. I want to sit down and I want to be group-thinked into the perfect haircut for me. And he's like... Do you want this? And I'm like, yeah. So he just does it. See, that's right. I don't know what to do with my hair.

So you go there, you sit down and then you say, what do you think would look good on my hair? And you say, hey, this. And you go, okay, and then he does it. And it's like, oh yeah, that does look good. I guess you're a fucking expert at it because that's your fucking job. And you're good at it. And that's why you get paid.

Risky. Risky. It's not whiskey. It's not whiskey. It's not risky. Honestly, the vibe was so much different. And you know, I've always, I've always looked at, like when women get their haircut and they're like getting

like head massages and they're getting hair wash and stuff and I've always been so jealous really I don't like the sound of that I've had it done yeah but I mean you're you're basically I'm 50% women I'm not gonna hide it

no I'm the bisexual one that's not what that means but so no I had I've had like the hair wash thing and all that and it's like lovely like me it's a great experience So nice. Alex, what hair would suit me?

Just go there, say, what do you think would suit this kind of hair? And you'll tell you exactly what to do. Get a mullet. Yeah, mullets are coming back. Charles bringing mullets back. That would suit you. I'm not getting a mullet, Jim. A mullet.

I end up a... Basically, I need a haircut, and I'm fed up of my hair. I need better hair. better hair. So I need to go there and say, what would work? Honestly, he will sort it out, I guarantee it. I feel like we've been talking about hairdressers for too long. Alex, go with me, like a baby sir. I'm happy to go with you.

Next time I need a haircut, you come with me. I need a haircut now! Look at it! Okay. Whatever. So that's what changed. There you go. Answered your question. I'm gonna ruin this question from Goersmo 7. because I don't know what he's asking with me he says to whoever's reading the question

start doing the stanky leg until the whole cast joins in what's the stanky leg does anyone know what that means yeah what does that mean I'm sorry I would have done it but I don't know what the fuck stanky leg means if you know what that means leave it in the comments wait wasn't this a question

no it was everyone it was another routine in that dance I guess What? I don't know. What the? There's a... There is a role play. Oh...

But it's kind of a yikes one. Okay, no, we can't do yikes ones. Don't please, Jamie... Should I read it and then we decide? No. Um... how yikesy is it? I'll read it so you can decide. Okay.

Friend the country. computer says all right role play idea the cast of Alvin and the chipmunks have gone to Israel and find themselves wrapped up in the Israeli Palestinian conflict Alvin is on the side of the Palestinians Simon is on the side of the Israelis and Theodore doesn't know which side to choose choose your roles and try to stay Theodore onto one side or the other no this is dash two whiskey is making too risky is this the one that ruins the wall That's like, is this the day we truly go too far?

That's fucking, yikes. Yeah, that's too much, no, no, no, no, no. So the names is Theodore, then. No. I'm pro-Israel one. No, we're not doing this. We're not doing it. No, what we say does not represent our views on the matter whatsoever.

Okay, yeah, they're done. Next. Ooh. We can do it about tanks. A pop hiss says, what are the number one best and worst channels on YouTube? So the best channel and the worst channel. Okay, best channel, the Hoonigans. Bangin.

For me it's Jang Bricks, obviously. To me that's the epitome of YouTube. Jang Bricks. I don't know anymore. Worst channel is... Sorry. what Doctor Disrespect

Ninja Best channel Worst channel Doctor disrespect No answer it seriously I don't That is serious That's honest

Worst channel is Dr. Best channel I don't like any of those I don't like Well I do like Lobos Jr I don't even know who's Okay that's a dark source on probably I mean the ones like

Ninja and Doctor Disrespect Where like they just They never acknowledge that they're even Yeah In a video It's weird. No, it's, I think it's fine for streaming, but on YouTube

It's wrong. Well, here's an example of a streamer that I do Like, their, like, YouTube videos. Zero. The Smash player. Yes, yeah. Because he's got a bubbly personality. He does address the audience. He's actually got a personality.

Yeah, man. Zero's great. I think he's a great YouTube. I like Zero. Okay, zero is my answer as well, then. What about worst? Dr. Disrespect. Dr. Disrespect.

For real. For real. Pudypite, then. Uh. Probably how it should have ended. Damn. Um, okay, I'll say... The worst fucking channel.

I'll say, your mama, whatever it's called. Your Mama Channel. Yeah, I think that's fucking atrocious. I don't give a shit what fucking post-Brock Baker books that puts up. That shit, like, I'm fine with him, but like, those jokes are fucking bad. Ben Shapiro. Best channel.

How to trigger James in one sentence. Reverse time remnant says, Dear Jarlings, this question goes to Alex and I hope is not too personal. What made you decide to start working in retail, and how difficult was it explaining to be? that you were going to YouTube full time. Cheers, and have a fantastic week. I don't think Alex chose.

It's like, that's the only job you can hear at that age. It's just like, you've got to do it. It was mostly because it was close to where I lived, and I couldn't drive, and I didn't want to travel anywhere. So it was like, this is the most convenient thing I could possibly do. So I just did it. Of course, explaining it to people was always difficult. Because when people started finding out,

when I was at when I was working there of course you can imagine the people's reactions or whatever well I can imagine what their reactions were well you you experience the reactions so well I mean I not not directly I'm sure as they talk to each other about it and stuff right yeah I can imagine the tone they might have taken um I remember um people at school asking me about it

when you were starting to get like proper traction yeah and they were sort of like like is he still doing that YouTube thing smile me yeah yeah it's like fuck you look at him now breaks spent your last three years in uni getting drunk and that person you're mocking is now a million plus fucking YouTube

subscribers almost at two million now are you fucking for real yeah what the fuck you never told me this you never looked I never looked I'm supportive of Alex in his queer. They were quite nice on the day I left, I remember.

Right. But they didn't obviously the like manager who like worked there was like didn't really know what I was even doing. Barely knew me. Barely smote. Yeah but it doesn't matter. When you want to quit. He was going to go and do his own

ventures or whatever. So I'd always just say something like, yeah, I'm just doing my own video thing. Just an editor now. Nice. When, uh, I, at my first job, I told, um, a couple of guys in you about Jha. Yeah, and they were like, oh, you gotta send me a link, like, so I can sit.

And I was just like, no. And he was like, I want to see your stuff and I was like, no. I was like, I don't, no, no, I don't want to see it. It's like the people in my carton work, I told them about it. And the one video they watched was Alex talking about you using a banana that's the whole experience of our channel on it's like a great episode then

a really great episode it's like listening to a Kanye album yeah it's one of my least favorite episodes it's because you weren't there yeah the Orville Orvil Eurian says what is the day you

are recording this cast right here right now Friday It's Friday night Friday the 10th of May you know what I said about the 10th of Next. Hmm. Okay, let's do one from...

Scorpion sandwich. Who says, if you were exempt from the law for a week, what would you do? Nothing. Smoke weed. Yeah? Um... Bit of this, bit of that. Would you kill something?

No. Kill something? Yeah. Would you just kill something? You mean a person? I mean, you can still kill things. Like, for example... Someone's dog.

I'm not saying this is something I would want to do, but take some kind of sharp weapon and just go into a field with some kind of farm animal and just... animal and just no I've got no that's just an example I didn't say I wanted to do that course I don't think there's anything illegal I want to do other than smoke weed in public like in TED

no like in South Park like there's nothing like I'm not I don't want to kill anybody yeah I don't want to take heroin in the streets the weeds just as bad

true it's a gateway drug to heroin yeah James didn't say anything speed uh speed uh

I'm not uh what five four no I can't I can't say it. I can't say it.

You want to go on a raping spree. No. That's fucked up. That's fucked up, James. That's what James is doing on the phone. I don't want to wait people. I want to say that louder. I can't answer this question.

Why? You're making it sound way worse. Yeah, what? Yeah. Possibly be. Because the illegal things I'd want to do, I'd do anyway. So speeding. Maybe.

Why don't you just say that then? FV.I. Open up. I don't speed. I'm a safe driver. Can we get much higher? Higher. Hi! Oh, dear. I just spotted one. Uh-huh.

Is it the do with Madagascar characters? Being something. G.J.5 characters. Yes, it is. can we do it it's quite a new one okay explain fuck black star says it had to go this way boys which Avenger is every oh shit this is their list Alex the lion Tony Stark no round Marty give him a chance no he's already wrong Marty Captain America doesn't know that Alex and Marty fight each other just like Cap and Stark

that's a good point he got them the wrong way round the Crowd Pleaser is Captain America. You know? Yeah. That's true. Like going back to the First Avenger, he's like in front of crowds of people, like... Yeah.

Switch them around, then yes, good choice. Yep. Gloria, Black Widow slash Thor. Both fit perfectly. What? Skipper, Nick Fury. That's a good choice. That is a very good choice.

Private Spider-Man Okay, Kowalski, Bruce Banner However, he transforms into Rico Slash the Hulk once he's angry, that's smart That's pretty good That's clever Melman is Doctor Strange

Motto-Moto is Thanos King Julian is Ant-Man More is the Wasp Maurice is Agent Cole It's quite good, yeah. And that grandma that hits the penguins with a car is Black Panther.

What? I still haven't figured out who is going to be Hawkeye and Captain Marvel, but I leave this to your skilled minds. Captain Marvel can fuck off. She's not an Avenger. Captain Marvel should just be that overpowered circus cat from the third one. No, no. Cat to Marvel should be the villain. from the third one. Yeah, she's

O'P. The French woman. Yeah, because she is fucking, but that's a joke in the movie. That's perfect. Yeah. Okay. That's sorted. Um, who was the other, Hawkeye? Hawkeye is the, the guy that goes through the tiny hoop. Yeah.

On fire. Breaking bad guy. Yeah, better call salt. No. That's all of them, right? Yes. know others you really disagree with on that one um i disagree with spider-man but should be spider-man then at the same time see the thing is gloria and melman are such throwaway useless characters that they could be anyone they could be literally anyone

james i want to hear your passionate thoughts i literally do not know enough to say okay Someone's not been paying attention. True. Fuck's sake. Don't touch my feet. With your feet. Jamie. Okay.

Let's end on a role play. A quick role play. The opening scene of Madagascar 2. Baby Alex is playing with his dad. Alec Baldwin shows up and distracts the dad. So baby Alex runs away and is taken by hunters. Sadness ensues. Then Will I Am starts playing.

So James, your baby Alex the lion. I'm the dad. And Jim, you're the boss, baby. Wait, what's the point? What's the point of this? This is literally just the intro. Yeah. What's the point?

Can you speak into the mic, please? No, I'm not role playing. No, I'm not playing. Jim should be baby Alex and I should be the dad. Come on, Alex. You're going to rock this world, man. That's it. That's it.

You got to beat your brain. man you got to stand up you got to beat your prey oh come on alip bobbin fucking come in hello what do we have here that's james is alec bobbin at why hello oh hello oh fuck i've been around the world in the pouring rain i'm feeling strange take me a place where they know my name where everyone knows my name did li li lily Lent-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Do that. They go silent, then it goes. Check it, check it.

Bye. Bye. King of the floor, king of the swing. Play a little beat. I'll be a dancing machine. A lot. Al-la. They got jungle fever.

Show them some love. Oh!