JAR Media Posdact - Can Chipmunks Sing Verbosely?

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 11:11 Housekeeping 19:57 Bert is Ruining Alex's Life 25:40 Alex on Forwards Festival 34:42 Poocorn 36:40 Alvin & The Chipmunks Lore 58:30 Mid Break 1:00:21 Ranking Animal Collective Nouns 1:08:13 James Predicted Doomsday 1:11:23 Witcher 3 Remaster + DLC 1:16:55 The Serious Topic Conundrum 1:22:59 Answering One from the Backlog #BroCastS7E34

I heard a poopy morning this morning. Like a bad morning or like a poo related morning. A poo related bad morning. Same to be honest. I did like a very, um, feel free to just cut at any point during the story, but I did like a very viscous poop. When we're gonna get like a new character drop that's like Alvin and the Chipmunks tier? You know? Things were just so simple back then, you know?

Hmm. Hey, it's me, Alvin. Hmm Look my pussy, Hey, it's me, Theodore. Don't forget about me, Simon. Do you remember the I'm in a line

And it's like, who's getting the best of that head? They're like Three iconic characters. Yeah. They've got like their silhouettes, you know? Simon's got the glasses. He's clever. Yeah, Theodore's got the hoodie.

He's chunky. He's chunky. And he likes, like, rice or whatever it is. Or is it like peanuts? No, he loves rice. And then Alvin, of course, iconic. He's kind of like Sonic, but a chipmunk. Yeah.

Hell, Sonic, let's team up. Do some shouts. Let's make some shit up, bitch. There's so much potential there, too. Yeah, yeah. It could be like sausage party. Fuck, Sonic. Yeah.

Yeah. And they can like, they can, like, They can do a chipmunk like Tupac song That's what I fuck your beef flat motherfucker What? What, Simon?

Theodore's like Biggie And Simon's two pack Oh man, I'm picturing it now Yeah, you can put him in like a classic biggie outfit Yeah, yeah, yeah He's walking down the street And then, you know

Do do, do Yeah Yeah, and then the Chippets come in Mmm, and they're all like hoes. Why's your Snapchat score so high, Albert? They're all rap music video, hoes. Yeah, so good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gents, so welcome to broadcast season seven, episode 34.

Welcome to Hocast, this is the new season. Yeah, I'm out. Alvin and Shit, like, we're like so fucking gooned out now on these memes Where like in whenever that, what, like the 60s, the 70s Where like kids would crowd around the record playing It's like Yeah, yeah

Hopscotch fucking Alvin in the Chipmunks or whatever And they're like, mind's blown Yeah You know, like the classic hopscotch Alvin in the Chipmunks, Theodore Yeah, that classic hopscotch Fuck What is hopscotch? you know where you have like the numbers and you go like my two so my two and you

oh yeah I remember yeah um I'm Alex joined by uh Simon what is it about just like cute funny animals that make references that never gets old yeah yeah it's so it's good shit it's good shit it's just it's um It's just comedy 101, really. Maybe we should do Chipmunks Month. We could do like four Chimong episodes for our voices and Chipmunk. Like guest episodes where it's like, you build up to Alvin. The first episode is the Chip Hats, then it's Theodore, then it's Simon.

Oh, I don't know about that order. I feel like Theodore might be more hype than Simon. True, he's kind of like the fan favorite. Yeah, he's the cute one Yeah, yeah Maybe even Theodore last No, Alvin last Do you reckon?

Yeah, for sure Maybe like wearing Giant sunglasses And he'd be like Yeah, yeah And he'd be like, un-over And all like fucked up Yeah

He's in a K-hole In the interview He's just dropped like a new album He's like a press tour Doesn't want to be there really Child Star and all that Like Poor guy

He's FaceTiming the whole time FaceTiming the chip hats Yeah Alvin Chris Hansen crossover Mm Fuck yeah That'll go hard

Well So how this looks well Why would he be saying that's Chris Hanson No that's Simon Like doing the Chris Hanson thing because he's got the glasses Oh right Yeah yeah

It starts off as a joke But then the actual Chris Hanson comes in Yeah yeah So Alvin You see how this looks right Fuck yeah Fuck yeah

Um Before we get too deep into the show Let me shout out The Jal Media patrons Over at the Patreon They make the show An audio version As Simon Lee possible

Um You get the raw Unfitred MP3 Add free Which you can add to your Alvin host of choice on RSS feeds and stuff. Apologies about the plane in the background. You also get your patron names right out in the first or second week of each month if you're a dibby tier or above.

I think that might be Alvin going to be saved on the island. The same thing is. Theodore needs help on the island. Yeah. Theodore? Where are you? My name's like James. Well, it was a phone call you could ever get.

I don't understand you What are you saying Theodore Have you ever seen a chipmunk IRL? Yeah, I don't think so Maybe, maybe it like a Z I don't know

IRI In real infrared Although I gotta be frank Um I thought it was pretty cool that During the AIDS epidemic The Alvin

was like doing the rounds going to hospitals and like showing that it wasn't like a skin to skin kind of airborne thing you know yeah that was like fair play um Theodore though was homophobic as fuck Yeah he was

Yeah Simon was analytical about it as you'd expect Yeah Simon let He failed to realise that correlation isn't causation though He still came out of homophobic as Despite his intelligence, he's socially manipulatable. Yeah, yeah.

You know? Yeah, get him on the shorts and he's just regurgitating whatever. Especially if the chip-hats are there as we're trying to show off. Oh, damn, yeah. Yeah. But, it's wrong, I've been the best hard. But also, on the pro-chion, you get you after hours. Supplementary weekly show.

Had some bangers lately. We did the, is volume one of Absolute Batman. good as they say. Mm-hmm. Or as whatever the, you know, the kind of Xbox McDonald's crossover. Mm-hmm. I don't know what I'm saying sometimes. No, I feel you.

I feel you. As well as the Halo cutscene. Halo, what's it called? Combat Evolution? No, campaign evolved. Oh, okay. Third Evolution Pokemon Devolved. Yeah.

Halo campaign inbrose. Yeah Halo campaign small gene pool Oh my God, bro It was fucking bad James Rossell actually said Bear Bear, I'm watching the Halo campaign Evol video

And I'm fucking dying at the Sergeant Johnson scene Where he just stares at everyone for too long What the fuck is going on? Yeah, we rewind that a couple of times I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing Absolutely horrendous If that's not to your style though There's the Supergirl Lloyd cut

look away lloyd look away loy that's everyone's style he'd fit in well with the chips lloyd he's like the plug that's where they get the like good shit yeah's from lloyd yeah but we did what a spider man brand new day good as they say yeah paysley's chance yeah pays his chance all sorts going on over there go check it out huge playlist over 100 episodes and in the the near sort of two to three year future um we may do Alvin's chance. Oh yeah.

Might have to build up to Alvin's chance then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First do the Chippets chance. Yeah. Build the hype sort of thing. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. This is a good thing to a little, like, test for the jarlings out there, a game they can play. First, go to one of your parents and ask them your opinions, their opinions, sorry, on Alvin and the chipmunks And if you have grandparents Gage their opinions on it as well And then bring it back to us And we'll organise it

We'll start with the chippets And go from there Yeah, we'll start a database Yeah, we'll organise the database Into information And kind of just get down to the And then sell it all to plan to you Yeah, well you're just to reveal that bit

I'm sorry, just beep it That's probably the kind of shit they're doing Yeah What's this data? What's everybody's favorite Sonic O.C.? So who's really the most popular chipmunk? Simon's winning? This is a surprise.

It can't be. Last but not least, the JAR Media Group Chat. It's group chat where he plucked some things for housekeeping in the question segment. When? Hashtag relatable. What doesn't have to be relatable? It could be a challenge, it could be an opinion, it could be propaganda. Sure.

We love some prop. Or prep to protect you from AIDS. Yeah, speaking of. Speaking of. Alvin's on prep. Yeah. Yeah, he is, isn't he? Will I indulge in that bore or?

No, no. Oh, I'm on prop. Oh, fuck. Um, right, let's do some housekeeper then. Jesus and gross. Where did this shit even come from? Yeah, okay, right. Yeah, think, think.

Well, speaking of cute animals, uh-huh. This, uh, has been kind of a recurring thing. Um, talking about, like, the morality of devouring chipmunks or whatever. Uh, Luca said, with the time code quite in the last episode, careful with that perspective, Alex. I understand not caring due to realizing that everything you consume is predicated upon suffering and exploitation, but you also just sound like a very harmful stereotype. The no ethical consumption to no ethical consumption, therefore I do whatever I want pipeline, is pretty widely recognised to just be an excuse to not care about anything. Jim mentioned that people's outrage at veggies or vegans comes from conservative talking points, which it does, but the whole nihilistic, I will engage in overconsumption because everything sucks anyway thing is another talking point adjacent to,

reactionary thinking. And the albino Jackal replied to that saying, I can't even tell anymore if Jarlings are doing a bit or being dead serious. Because I think it was fairly obvious that Alex himself Alex calling himself

a psychopath and taking glee in slaughtering was said in jest. In that same segment they said they should eat Argi and Billy and that they would bring

the fictional Halo Reach, mower and dinosaurs back into existence just to eat it then they announced the new Patreon Tia

where you'd get penguin burgers as a rule So yeah, I'm sorry Yeah, that was fucked up, dude Yeah Also, the Hale Reach mowers In that context are fictional

But mowers were a real bird Which were all eaten All eaten In New Zealand Did you know You know the dodo Yeah, of course Of course I knew her

You know, they didn't even taste that good I thought it was that they or maybe this is because they didn't taste good is that like the people on ships like the way they stored them or the way they cooked them they like absolutely doused them in some type of like oil or something like that so like you couldn't have even tasted it anyway

but I don't know if that was just because the meat was so rancid to begin with it. Well but from what I understand it was more just from ease because they like dodoes didn't have any like prey reaction so they just walk up to them he's finishing like his 12th dodo and another one walks up and he's like all right then I guess I have to eat you yeah poor guys yeah

yeah something about birds like that and speaking of New Zealand and mowers like they're all like just flightless helpless birds yeah yeah yeah it's not their fault there are no predators there. Yeah. It's like a, like a kiwi bird is one of the cutest things on the planet. True, yeah. But I mean... They're kind of badass. No, they're not. They're like so dumb. They're not dumb. It's not dumb that you're just a victim of like something that you, like, evolutionary never could have like prepared for. It is kind of dumb. It's like... Like the whole world, there's like snakes and shit and stuff that eats other stuff.

But then nature's like, let's just like do no villains. So then we get a bunch of pathetic things that, like pandas. They're just not going to survive. Mm. You know? What's a chitmunk self-defense? Um, climbing. They're agile.

They're very agile. I challenge you, I challenge you, catch a chipmunk. And of course, they can just serenade you in an instant. Yeah, yeah, they've got like a siren song. Someone's got to edit that. The Matt Damon's strapped to the thing with like a chipmunk. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Yeah, we're talking about like dopamine

gambling addiction, like everyone just on their thing. phone gambling all the time. Yeah. The boo said, I was at theme park a week ago and was in line for a crazy-ass roller coaster and two guys behind me were on their phones gambling on some app. You're about to go on a fucking roller coaster. Why do you need a dopamine hit from gambling? That's insane. Yeah, bro. And Jonah said genuinely, Alex, what the fuck are you talking about with this Xbox McDonald's bullshit? Stop gaslighting your brother, Alex. What, you think I made that up? Why would I do that? Why would you do that? Outside of the constant Xbox jokes.

Xbox? Order me a McDonald's with the crossover, please. Would you like the Mawa fries? It's actually the Mowah Nugget. Yes, I'm fully fucking aware. No, I'm thinking of cutting back. I just want the Forzer drink. the fours are a cherry drink

because it's based on the Japanese one that's with the cherries cherry blossom yeah Japan cherry chipmunk pop songs get it in your fucking nogin no no

don't get it not gonna keep it oh my god oh my god bro um right

I'm gonna do one more from housekeeping and then we can go into some topics here do you want one to do with roadblocks or Swindon Swindon And Drewaroo said do the boys know That Pam Greer grew up in Swindon Her dad was military I think that's why

Who's Pam Greer She's um She was one of the Chippets voice actors Ah From Swindon She's a an actor she's in

Jackie Brown Oh shit She is Jackie Brown Um As well as In a myriad of other projects Yeah I recognise her Just her

She's from Swindon What? She's not from Swindon She lived in there for a chunk of time Because of some A military base or something Pamela Susette Greer Born May 26th

1949 Is an American Swindoner What Half American, half Swindner, half Chippet. So she's four parts Chappet. Three parts Swindana. What, she's like a cocktail? Yeah.

You want to Pam Greer? Yes, please. Oh, right, yeah. I've got three things. Did you have any things? Um, I've had fairly consistent, than loose bowels. Hmm. Well, speaking of that,

that nicely goes into one of mine, mine topics. Nice. And unfortunately, like, Minecraft, whoops. Mine?

So, just doing a little Finding Nemo. Mine. Mine. I would love to see an edit of the chase scene,

the palican chase scene. But instead of a palican, it's Alvin. Hmm Last gap Yeah that would go Fucking hard Yeah

More chase scenes with chipmonds Yeah I want to see the action scene From the end of end game Where they're like throwing the gauntlet around But instead of the gauntlet's out of it Yeah And when it's like funny

You're Spider-Man carrying it That's Theodore with it Yeah Right A little bit mumbling Yeah You know Uh huh

Yeah Yeah one. Yeah, sorry, yeah. I meant funny, fat. Right, so listen to this. Okay. I've been haunted recently. In my dreams. Really? And I know people say, like, say, like, don't talk about dreams. It's boring. This is not boring. What I've been haunted with, like, I don't...

Can we make this an entire dream cast? No, listen. I don't normally have recurring dreams like this that have effectively the same punch line every time. Right? They're comedy dreams. It is comedy dreams, which is funny considering what they're about, which is. So it always has the same structure every time. Okay.

It's me, just normal me. Yeah. Going into a coffee shop, into a room, into anywhere, just anywhere, any random environment. Yeah. But I go in and in the dream. I ask whoever's in there, please tell me, Burke Kreischer's not here.

And then every time, like, clockwork, he comes out from, like, round the court. And he's acting, like, hyped, as if I'm, like, a super fan. Yeah, yeah. And then I have to, like, really awkwardly be like, no, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't be here. Yeah, yeah.

That is, I ever have... Does he start telling the machine? Yeah. He's holding a copy of it on like Blu-ray. Yeah, yeah. That's a good dream. I wish I could have dreams like that. I don't normally have dreams like that,

but I've had this one at least four times. Quite weird, but the environment's just different every time. Right. So each time I'm like more exacerbated. Like he comes around the corner, it's just like, oh, not again. Yeah. And you wake up going, oh!

I look over to my stack. of used copies of the machine. Yeah, yeah. Used copies. What are you doing with them? You don't want to know. I've been burning Alvin the Chipmunks films onto them.

Splicing them. Yeah. I'm thinking about watching that film, though, just for giggles. The machine? Mark Hamels in it, so... Shit, really. Yeah. You know what?

I actually watched a kind of interesting film. Yeah? Yeah. What was it? I started it last night and finished it this morning. It's called The Void. I thought you were going to say, I went in the Chipmunks.

No, I wish. I have seen the start of Amazon. The Void. I think that's the horror movie, right? Yes. I've never actually seen that. I've just had it like on my watch list for 15 million. I just randomly started it because I was like

not feeling anything else. And sometimes I like just going on Amazon and trying to find something kind of shit. Yeah, but I ended up on this film and I was like, you know what, this is actually kind of good. What kind of vibe was it? Mingen? Body horror. Yeah. Cosmic dread.

Yeah, it's, it's, um, it is very cosmic, uh, what's his fucking name? Lovecraftian type shit. Um, but like all the, all the monsters and stuff. practical effects. It looks really good. That's why, yeah, I think that's why it's in my watch list. Yeah. I'll be hearing about that. And it's called the the classic conundrum of like it's got a fairly good like metastore, but quite a low, like rating, user rating.

Mm. I mean, like there are cheap aspects, like some of the acting's kind of awkward and stuff and the script isn't totally smooth. Is it like a micro budget situation? Yeah, it feels kind of cheap. But like, Like, it's just cool to see something, someone try, you know? Like it's not just shovelware. It actually feels like someone had a vision for a film and they managed to make it, you know. So like a tertiary search brings up like an estimated like 1.5 million.

So like a million US dollars. Really? which is exceptionally low that's like micro budget but yeah that's that's insane for how good the the effects are and stuff that's very impressive hell yeah

like I say it's not a perfect movie by any means but um and it's not not particularly subtle in its like metaphor and stuff but it was a good watch but you had a good

good watch yeah and it like there are points where I was like oh my eyes are like like trying to not look at the screen because what I'm looking at is so fucking mingent. So it's like Sonic EXE kind of horror. It's like Sonic EXE 2. So it's two, okay.

Yeah. Like that kind of echelon. Oh my God. So it was kind of like Burt Kreischer. Yeah, kind of Burt Kreishe, the machine. Burt Kreishe's special on Netflix, that kind of... I want to see, do you remember the... Burt's Big Belly?

film The Machinist? Yes. I want to see Burt Kreischer as that character. Yeah. I mean he kind of needs to. To live. So... He needs to be on an apple and a cigarette a day. My other topic

is from JARB who says, went to Ford's Festival see Lord and Joe. Why? And saw you there, Alex. wondered what you made of the festival. I was only there Friday, so I don't know about the other days from the only Sheffield Jarling. Hell yeah, I was in Sheffield just the other week.

Shito. So yeah, I went to Fores just for that day as well. I've referenced Lord a few times over the years. She used to be your spirit animal, I believe. Yeah, that's what I've kind of famously or infamously or chip-monkeously have kind of said. Yeah. Did you get a...

her number um i tried my fucking best yeah and did kind of get kicked out did kind of get arrested yeah uh it was good although i got i got angry uh oh i got really pissed off because i was kind i like i really like pure heroine but i'm not i don't really care about her other albums if i'm being completely honest yep um i was but i was kind of more excited to see joe Um, Joe. Joe, uh, motherfucker. Peshie. Joe Pesci was there, um, performing.

Dubstep. Uh, no, you know, Joe from Stranger Things. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was on just before Lord on the other stage. Yeah. Joe's on South stage. Lord, well, she's coming from above.

She's descending from the clouds. Did she descend from the clouds? Oh, yeah. Wow. But what pissed me off was that like, and I've had this happen one or two times seeing live music. The crowd were awful. They were fucking awful for Joe in particular.

Where... Did they just want his TikTok songs? That was part of the problem. Yeah. But the vibe was just like... It was like thousands of people just stood there. Like motionless. Weird.

And it was like... Why are you here? And just like, or just having like really loud conversations. Yeah. And it's like, if you want to do that, just go further back or like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like quite close to the stage. Yeah.

Like where you'd imagine, because there's like, there's like rings of kind of intensity of fandom when you see like live music. Yeah, yeah. So you'd imagine like the closer you are, the more sort of sympatheticer you might be with like your enjoyment of the music. And like, maybe I'm just. the dick hair for like actually liking his music and not just wanting to say that I saw the guy from stranger things that is chad behavior yeah saying you enjoy something is chab behavior yeah um

it just kind of felt like a lot of the people that were stood there just wanted to see the guy from stranger things like on a stage yeah and like he is in free guy as well to be fair that is a ding against him yeah that is true they wanted to see that guy from free guy yeah yeah um and yeah obviously like that tick talk problem of what the fuck is going on with my voice right now they just want to see the end of beginning yeah

which is like well you know what I think fuck you I think um that's what Joe gets for making a TikTok song um so that was pissing me off and I was caffeine crashing around then because I had like a

I had one of those red bull drinks. Like a sort of energizing beverage. Yeah, like a energized beverage. Like a vodka Redpool basically. You're a vodka Red Bull? Yeah.

At 3pm on a 5th. You get. I do that every day. Is that wrong? Yeah. I'm micro-nosed. I also... Can I admit this on the cast?

Yeah. I'm like becoming a... I'm like a smuggler now. Oh. I just smuggle shit in festivals now. Really? Because... Weapons.

Ironically, that was the only Because you never know Like how hardcore the The security is going to be Yeah And like we just mentioned Sheffield Like up there like that was way more hardcore they had like the drug dogs and all of it

Losers It was like just some dude who was like Do you have any sharp objects? And I went Uh No I don't know Whatever go on then

No I just started I feel like plastic sacks with vodka and put them in my boxes because it's like it's like

it's like 15 pounds for a bed of something so then I can just buy like a three pound lemonade and just like get the sack out

oops wrong sack and then just squeeze some vodka in you know yeah that's cool Yeah So that was pissing me off

And then When it got to Lord Um Whereas I only had a little bit of my sack left And I was just drinking I didn't have anything to mix it with at that point I was just drinking it from the sack straight Damn

That's foul I didn't want to need to pee Because I was just getting like Colophobic with how Everyone was there for Lord No that's the good thing about festivals Is that you can just whip your fucking cock out and piss.

You joke, but I saw someone at Sheffield doing that. You didn't. No, I straight up did. It was awful, yeah. Yeah, Lord was good, creative, like... Did she whip her cock out and piss? Yeah, that was the best bit. Nice. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah?

She kind of had the vibe of, like... She kept referencing pure heroin, did a few songs off it, but kept talking about it like, yeah, we're going to go way back into the past. million hundred million years ago yeah do one of these

because I think she wants like a bit of distance with like yeah there was the album from like last year or whatever that I didn't even listen to um did anyone yeah I think people were singing along as shit so and it wasn't like bad um

I just probably know about half of the set um right and I also got pissed off because there was like a group behind me who made like a circle between themselves and they were just like in their living room basically yeah like they were hardly paying attention yeah being really fucking loud there was this girl with this handbag that like just kept like shoving into me and like fucking hitting me with it

and one of them like went on another one's shoulders and was like like gonna fall over and then like had to use me as balance and like put their arms with my shoulders and was like shoulder and I was getting really pissed off. It was like raining. I was like, what did you say? I was just. Did you just, did you go,

I was actually, um, I was shoving. Really? Yeah, because it was so fucking rude. Stop beating these women. Yeah, I did. I'm in public.

Yeah. Bam. Uh-huh. I'm sorry, I just had to. I actually does hate everything. They deserve. deserved it, you know. I got her in a headlock and start giving her a niggie. Yeah. You're going in the beat.

Fuck. So that was just like some of the worst crowd etiquette I've had in a while. Because like I've seen a lot of music this year, live music. And there is just like an unspoken. Well, I guess it's just called being polite or just kind of read in the room. Yeah, social conscientia. Yeah. It's not like I have an issue of people like talking.

or having a good time. Yeah. It's just like... When they're having a better time, then it's a problem. You're not matching the vibe. That's my issue. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas like, when I saw David Byrne, it was like, perfect. Everyone was sympathetic. Everyone knew the situation. Everyone was also old as fuck, but... Everyone at fours is like fucking ten years old. So, um...

Yeah, it was quite good. I got lost a few times. The field. Yeah. It's not that big. How do you get out of it? And you're all fucking rummaging through your sacks. Trying to find the right sack.

Where's everyone gone? Who turned the lights out? Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Anything else, bro? Anything else? Um,

I had a poopy morning this morning. Like a bad morning or like a poo related morning. A poo related bad morning. Same to be honest. Really? I did like a very Feel free to just cut At any point during the story

But I did like a very viscous poop If that makes sense Like a cow pat Yeah kind of but like sticky Um And so like I wipe and stuff And And you know

You're not picturing right now right now You know like We don't do this on YouTube But um Most podcasts They have like a minute at the beginning That's like clips from later on Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was a picture of you saying that. It was like the intro, like, tease for like what's coming to, like, keep you like, whoa, when's it going to get to that book? I find it really confusing when podcasts do that. I find it annoying because it's like, well, I'm planning to, I actually listen to the whole thing, usually. Yeah. So, like, then I get to that being and it's like, I've already heard this shit. Yeah.

I know, like, oh, I must have already watched this. So I turned it off and felt something else. I already knew his poo bit. Yeah. The reveal's been ruined. Oh, I could have fucking skipped this whole one. Um, but yeah, anyway, long story's short. poo on the toilet seat, poo on my shorts, poo just everywhere.

Getting the bath, poo, just filling the bath. Yeah, poo. You pooed in the bath? I didn't poo in the bath, but I pooed and then got poo in the bath. Why you didn't like clean up properly? Just seem like little... It was basically a bath of poo. That's fucked, man.

Yeah. So then I had to have another bath to do... undo the poo bath and then um you're putting another bath to get to get all the poo off uh how long did it take you to realize you were bathing in your own rear um 45 minutes and on a kind of similar note like if you had to use one of the chipmunks as a fleshlight you had to which one as a flashlight i guess simon's going to have not simon sorry theodore's going to have the most space. But if I was going to use one to clean up my shit, it would be Simon because he's going

scientifically know the best, like... He's going to target and make sure it's bacterially kind of... Yeah, yeah. He's not about that 99.9.9. He's about 100. Yeah. He's going to invent some crazy shits and get that stuff sorted, you know? He's going to apply logic. Yeah. He's the kind of facts don't care about your feelings, kind of chipmunk. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't you want to ask me? The same question, but... No, I'm good. Oh my God. Have you seen the Alvin redesign? What do you mean redesign? Are they doing a new one?

Yeah. Is that what you're talking about this? Can I look him out right now? Yeah, they teased him recently. Alvin... I'm a chip. Thanks. Alvin

Oh fuck Is that him New I don't know if it's a film or a show Avvin and Chipmunks knew Yeah Late 2028 For the

Oh fuck 70th anniversary Is that him Yeah he's like hot now What the fuck Damn Yeah Oh and he's got like the fluffy hoodie

Yeah Damn God damn Would you use that version of Alvin Or um the more human kind of like version of Alvin as a flashlight

more human yeah you're like this one from um Alvin and the chipmunks I hate that fucking guy yeah why did he look like you're a little human ew

Theodore's been on like a diet or something as well he's got the little fuck boy haircut Wait is it got all three of them. I've only seen the new one. No, I'm looking at that. Oh, the human. Yeah, the human one. Why are they always trying to get Alvin to, like, Mog?

He's got an oropharm. He is the cool one, to be fair. Do you think he gets it? Guess what? I just like that they get out, like, Daniel Day Lewis the voice in. Daniel Day Lewis is the new Alvin. Yeah. Yeah, man.

Yeah, so we're like pretty hyped about that. Yeah. Fuck, man. But yeah, my bowels, I think, have been extra vitriolic as of lakes. I've been eating like a microwave bag of popcorn a day. Mm, lots of fibre in popcorn. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Have you ever done a poop that just smells a popcorn? No, but that sounds quite nice. Yeah, like poop can smell worse. I'll tell you that much. You like it? You went in for round two. Like, you're fucking a dog. Like, I'm a chipmunk or something.

You're just, like, fishing it out of the dish, you know? This is my question. Like, what is happening to corn? Through your digestive systems. Nothing. It just fights back. All of the corn's hands just push out and they're holding it for the whole thing. Like, a superpowered individual game.

Whoa, whoa. Yeah. They're like Sue Storm. Yeah. Sue Corn. Sue's corn, yeah. Yeah. Cornstorm, but popcorn isn't corn.

It's rice. That's not. And there is like an Xbox corn version at McDonald's. Yeah, what's that based off of like little tickers from Giz War? Yeah. Fucking blinks the time sweeper up. popcorn. What the

fuck are you talking about? We're a comedy podcast. We're a popcorn podcast. We're an Xbox podcast. Charmedia and the chipmunks, the movie. Crossover. That'll be nice.

So, I can't do this. So that is staying. I can't include any of that. It was just a cute, funny story about the chipmunks, don't worry. Yeah. Yeah, Roger Waters,

boycotting the chipmunks, because they're performing in Tel Aviv. Fuck, I'm just thinking like... Because I saw, I think it was Kanye was performing in Russia recently. Yeah, yeah. How disappointed in the chipmunks would you be if you found out they were performing in Russia at the moment?

I probably would cancel going to see the film, the new one. Really? That's how serious it is to me. And you were going to see it in 4DX or something. well yeah you know vibrates you every time there's a song yeah yeah and it sprays you with warm fucking chipmunk milked yeah during the milking sequence alvin and the chipmunks have been boycotted for performing in Russia that's not okay man I'm gonna have to

get rid of like I'm gonna charity shop all my vinyl collection to get chipmunk versions No, get rid of them because they perform in Russia at the moment. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right, one more thing before mid-break. Okay. I just want to, I want you to guess when Alvin and the Chipmunks was first released. 1987.

No, that's way too young. 1997 No, even younger 1997 They were actually invented in 2019 What? No, don't you actually want to know the truth?

No No, come on man I guess I didn't give a shit No, you would They were created by Ross Baghdasarian Bagdasarian

Ross, Ross you fuck around with those chipmunks again who's an American singer record producer he figured out fucking chipmunk voice on the like audio

decks if you had to guess just guess the decade then 2000s no what the fuck are you talking about then there are other decades than the 2000s I already said the 80s the 90s

yeah it's none of those the 40s that is closer and then your other guesses. What? So, he's not younger, he's older. You were saying younger every time. Would you know? I was saying

that you were saying younger every time. What? You fucking went? Just listen and answer, motherfucker? The 60s then. Nope. 50s? Yeah. Fucking how.

They're actually... They've been around that long. They've beaten the Beatles. Wow. They're more iconic than the Beatles. They are more iconic. They've done more for music. They've done more for music than the Beatles.

1958. That's fucking insane. So they just sped up the records. Yeah. Like you can put the faster speed on. Assholes. In the last year, I remember having a weird conversation with mum about Alvin'in' The Chipmunks. And she was like, yeah, I remember, like, listening to it when I was a kid, like, on record.

because bro they didn't have they didn't have fucking Roblox dude what? I'm tripping can you read this top comment this is on the

sound effect that oh my god bro oh hell no what you can get your assone what the fuck wait so explain for those listening

what you're talking about that you've been using a sound board Yeah, I've developed this new soundboard That oh my god bro There's the chipmunk voice that says Who invited this kid? Damn now, man

What's the fuck man? But you hadn't played that I hadn't heard that Yeah, I was just playing the beginning But then the top comment is Who invited this kid Dog? Who invited Alvin?

We've been talking about chipmunks this whole time He's been staring us right in the face This whole time This feels like... That's weird. What do they call it? Like subliminal redditing. Yeah, I think Reddit just fucking sublimed us.

Yeah, we just got sublimed by Reddit. That would be good. An Alvin and the Chipmunks sublime cover. What about Alvin and the Chipmunks break the internet in Reddit? And it's like a movie and they get sucked into... Reddit. Loly Young. Oh, yeah.

Fuck, that's a good one. I was going to do like my own rendition of that, but I can't remember any of her music. Have they ever done Weezer? Probably, I don't know. Weiser and the chipmunks? Who the fuck cares? Me?

Does that not count for anything anymore? Do I not mean anything to Alvin anymore? Alvin! I love when he screams it, though. Isn't it, um, Cyborg? What? That says that. It's Syndrome.

Really? Yeah. Who plays Syndrome? Alvin. Siri Who plays Who plays Xbox

In McDonald's partnership Xbox Jason Lee No I think it's Sam Burt Kreischer Let me check on Burt Chrysha Burt

Whoops I put Bratt That maybe would have made the machine A bit more of a success What if Alvin was in it Yes Should we read some trivia about Bert? Bert Kreischer and the Chipmach?

For your dreams. Yeah. Um, oh, there's some good funny stuff here. It's a two hour long fucking film the machine. It's two hours. An hour and 52 minutes. Bert's drunken past catches up to him 20 years down the road

when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wrong 20 years ago. while drunk on a college semester award in Russia. Wait, so he's performing in Russia with the chipmunks? Yeah, yeah. That's the part of the machine. Wait, yeah. Everything's linked in a weird way. Oh, this is a good paragraph.

Kreisha is known for performing stand-up comedy while shirtless. Fuck yeah. Does it mention, like, any of his jokes? The machine? His one story. The story revolves around how he inadvertently helped the Russian mafia rob a train while on a college trip to Russia. Just a lie. Burt Kreutcher kind of looks like the grown-up version of the Nickelodeon Alvin, human.

Hmm. Yeah. Is that what the machine story is? Yeah, that's what he's doing now. That's what he did, you mean? Oh, you mean Alvin's become like an alcoholic? Younger. Younger Alvin.

Oh, that's a good idea for a film. washed up has been Alvin played by Burt Kreischer yeah I've a like meta angle to it yeah yeah like bird man like Bert Bert Burt man Bert Criess is bird man well and add does he have the is he got a deep voice now or is he still like a chipmunk voice maybe a few decibels you know or one way you could work around that is that when Burt sings does Alvin songs that's high pitched but when he's offstage oh like he's using like tech to

enhance his vocal yeah that's like the reveal yeah he's lost it you can't do it you can't hold that like pitch anymore yeah yeah yeah he's got it's like uh the roger rabbit baby you know so yeah like the roger rabbit baby who did actually weirdly grow up to be burke christia no fucking way

it's weirdly all linked the more you look at it the more you look at stuff the more you realize the whole world is controlled by chipmunks. Yeah. I just wish it was marmots personally. Yeah, they actually have my trust. Chipmunks are just trying to get their nut. Yeah, they're freaky.

Yeah. When marmots are just kind of like strong and like, they stand up. Yeah, they have willpower. They stand up to disrespect as well. Which chipmunks just take it on the chin and get that nut. they just get out of there yeah they have no um I want a I want a third this can be in the um this burke Chrysha like movie idea where he's like birdman yeah yeah in the third act it's been building maybe it's like the B plot uh-huh an army of chipmunks and an army of

marmots it's like huge CG like millions like Dark Night Rises but they're They don't all practically like, Dark Note Rises. I'm talking like the Gungans versus the Brousel droids, you know, the Trade Federation. Yeah. Like just two armies running. Who are we rooting for there? The marmots. Why?

If Burt's a fucking chipmunk. Because it's about how evil chipmunks are, how fucked up they are. Whose side is Burt on? He's like in the middle. Stop fighting. Oh, so he stands in the middle and uses his, he performs at Tel Aviv to, to, to, to, to, So peace amongst no in Russia in Russia to to unite the the war is in Tel Aviv no it's so no it can be like like global war like every mama every chipmunk everywhere is beginning to fight and right yeah in China yeah so they're doing one performance in Russia so the three chipmunks Alvin so um but plays Alvin Tom Seguerra can be

um, Theodore And Who do we want for the third one? Ooh, Theo Von. Theo Von. Theo Von. Theodore von.

He's named after him. Yeah, yeah. And then, and then, who's the other, uh, out of touch comedian? Ari Shafir? No, the one I already mentioned. He's signed.

Simon. Okay. And they're they're all performing different songs. Russia, Tel Aviv, China. Why are you saying the countries and then tell. Sorry, Russia, um, Israel, China. Yeah. And they're like, uniting, fixing war by performing in each country. They're, they're like, they're like, Michael Jackson. Yeah. Have you seen that performance of him where like he's performing on stage and a guy with like a gun comes up on stage and like points at him? No. Um.

Did that happen? No, I always see clips of people saying like that time that someone with a gun went on stage and tried to kill Michael. But he just sang him into peace. Ooh. But it was like obviously just like it's part of his. Yeah, yeah, right They were like the magic of Michael Michael and the chipmunks just

That is powerful though Yeah Yeah, but that's my idea for the film It's kind of like Superman inspired Mmm Yeah Uh-huh Superman Alvin

Like put Alvin in the Superman Yeah That could be a reference in it at least You know You can reference the machine obviously While he's in Russia as well Bert, you go to Phelota China

Me, Simon, well Huh I go is wrong Why is it so fucking cringe When you're like, I don't like hair Is that anything? Me, huh? I'm simply Alvin

Oh, it could be bad ass like that as well. Yeah, like a long, like, Columbine trench coat. Yeah. Big glasses. Yeah, yeah. Door wielding. I'm a badass now. That would be fucking cool.

And you know who would voice the main marmot? Hey. You know the Asian guy from community? Yeah. The gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You'd be a gay marmot.

Hmm, that's a good idea. Yeah. Any more you want to indulge in that or, uh... No. No, I'm happy with that. Like, I feel like, we got the bones of a script. It's time to, you know, like Drake said, get the pen working. The pen's been working for the past hour if you've been paying attention.

Yeah. Yeah, the bull point tip ain't dry. No, it's kind of a chip monkey. Yeah. Chip monkey. Do you think chipmunks get smag? Ha, ha. Um, they are mammals.

But all mammals get smeg. Is that one of the rules of mammals? They're like, give birth to Live Young, produce milk and smag. Yeah, that sounds right, right? I don't know. I'm not a biologing. Yeah, did you know that kangaroos in their sack have nipples in there? Yeah, yeah.

And they produce like jelly. Like, you've been glued in or something. I don't know. What happens is the the baby kangaroo is like this little worm thing. Yeah. Like has to climb up. Yeah. As soon as it's been born.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then it just like attaches to the sack for a bit. Then it goes, it finds a nipple. Yeah. And then the nipple enlarges into its mouth. So it like, so it can't stop drinking.

Yeah. It's just like in there just dangling. Yeah. And drinking. Is that because, like, biolid, Evolution needed to create something that could survive in Australia. In Australia. So it was like, when you give birth, you still have to run.

You immediately have to climb the equivalent of like a skyscraper. Yeah. Like the second you were in to. Get into a flesh sack and bound. Then have this like, it's like body horror shit. Yeah, it's fucking disgusting. Yeah. Pouches are freaky, man.

Yeah, that's a freaky thing. It's just like, you see a turtle just like come out of an egg and it's like, that's nice, you know? There's something cute about that. Yeah. Like a mammal is just like this goo, this slop. Yeah. And then I mean, it's just humans take forever. Like, they're just useless.

But like a giraffe is just like sprinting around. Like, I'm born now. Let's go do this thing. Yeah. Let's go solve mysteries with Alvin. Straight away. Rankers on BS5 out now PlayStation

Oh, ne money This is wild Let's on day hur Downloading wankers on my Xbox Which one is Bart's real scream Bailasar? Check please Fee

That's my life, silly I like big fuck. Um, so before we go into questions, do you have any questions, do you have anything more you want to kind of figure out the kinks in the... You want to figure out the chips? Nice.

Let the chips fall where they may, I say. Nice. Why they... You're Alvin, bro, you hype for GTA6. Oh, fuck you. I'm gonna make for the To be out of place out. Lucille looks fine shy

I'm gonna fid of crap You're nasty Alvin You know me, I was after the pee Welcome to the second off of the coast We head over to the suggestion thread on the JARMedia subreddit, grabs some questions from where and also some from the Patreon group chat Yeah, yeah

Hopefully we're gonna get some serious ones Yeah, I'd like to actually fucking get real for a minute. Yeah. For once. Well, hey, Alex, as the buffalo here says, Bear Bear Stinky, smells like no shower Sunday. Can you do a quick CBT on these

collective nouns I have curated? I like this one. This is like, you know, like groups of things, like a school of fish. Oh, okay, yes, right. Yes. So, like, these are the ones they've got, right? A troop of baboons. Troops tough.

Troopers tough, but I don't like baboons. No, they're scary. They're freaky. They're not cringy, though. Loads of other monkeys are cringy, but baboons aren't cringe. I don't think monkeys are cringy. Some are.

Like, what? Like, baby monkeys. There are cringy animals, like chipmunks. Yeah, they're cringy. But, no, but like, like, the ones that, like, steal handbags and shit. That's cringe. I love those. They're, like, mischievous. They're cheeky.

Yeah, cringe. Nah. No, because it's all fun in games until one does it to you. And like, fucking pulls one of your eyeballs out. So, that shit's not fun. Um, a herd of asses. Hmm. That's what I'm going to do when I, when GTO 6 comes to PC.

Yeah. I'm going to mod it. Mod donkeys in it. So you can have a herd of asses. Um, that one's cringe. That one is. pretty cringe but herd is pretty cool heard is cool ass is cringe a shrewdness of gorillas a shrewdness yeah does it mean to be shrewd to be a bit like you know what elvin

you're kind of a cool guy that's not shrewd hey syri define shrewd shrewd a type of mouse Oh, having or showing sharp judgment Maybe it was shrewd Maybe I was wrong Cleverness In good sense Especially in practical or real world matters So are you gonna apologize for

You know what else? Yes, I apologize Thank you I think that goes hard I think that's um Yeah, that's hard That's tough I don't know

Because it feels kind of based Because I feel like Um I feel like guerrillas Have sharp judgment They're clever good sense and especially

practically so I'm going to give it based okay a flutter of butterflies cringe no that one's based no it's boring

it's like come on no a butter of flutter flies no the rhyming that's like a new one a flutter of better no it's fucking Harry Potter shite a dobie of lobby

it's a lobby of dobbies Lobby of Dobbies. That's tough. Lobby of Dobbies is tough. A murder of crows. That's fucking bass. That's tough. That's tough.

Yeah, sorry, tough. A murder of crows is tough as fuck. Yeah, it is. It's the toughest. There won't be one tougher than that. An embarrassment of pandas. Baste. Yeah, that is.

They are embarrassing. An army of caterpillars. That's tough. That is like, that's a funny one too, because it's like it's a caterpillar, you know? Yeah. They're good at eating clean stuff. Also, like, since when did the caterpillars, like, unite?

All the time. When have you ever seen more than one caterpillar? Loads of times. Uh-huh. Trust me, dude. Uh-huh. Uh, a congregation of alligators. That's a funny one where it's like, it's a juxtaposition.

It's like religious. No, like the congregation, what do you mean religious? khamdala Congregation What the fuck What do you mean religious Congregation? Because congregation

Like is like To congregate? Yeah you're congregating There's like a collection Yeah and where do you congregate? Church No but listen How is it religious?

Church No nobody does that anymore Okay That's it What are you searching? An Xbox of gamers Is that? I'm fuck

I've just got nothing I don't know where I was going with that what did you give it though a congregation it's funny because alligators your picture is being like vicious but congregation is quite like a peaceful scenario

okay so a congregation is a group of people who gather together for religious worship or the regular members of a specific place of worship so congregation is specifically congregating in in regards

to religion. Well, that's like your opinion. So, and a bad one too. So wait, so why do alligators get that then? Because they all, they all like,

lie there, like, quietly, don't they? Pray in? Yeah. Praying a Buddha. They have their little hands together like this. Alright,

they're set up out. Um, a gang of elk. We didn't rate the previous one. Oh, um, I think that's based. I don't think it's based because it's not true,

but it is tough. A gang of elk Boring Gang of Elk I like that one It's based Yeah it's based It's based

A lounge of lizards Ooh That one goes out Yeah I like that one That was best I'll give that one best They do like to lounge They do like to lounge

A descent of woodpeckers Oh I hate that one It's getting cringe Yeah that one doesn't work a dissent It should be like a descent of moles Yeah

You know This one's fucking weird A harum of seals A fuckfest of seals Yeah That's based And Cabial actually Likes that one so much

They had four more To add on to the end there Corvids have some great ones An unkindliness of ravens that's tough it fits raven it fits them as a creature they're kind of like

verbose creatures they're sort of ventriloquil sort of creatures yes their base yes rather an alvin of chipmucks an alvin of chipmucks

A parliament of rooks A parliament Parliament's cringe No that one's based A party of Jays That's cool Like party of Jays Yeah that's base

Because they do that thing with their heads You know Yeah Yeah, good dancers, birds Yeah. Um, a mischief of magpies. That's fun.

I'll give that based. A podcaster of Joe Rogan. And an assassins of Joe Rogan. Yeah, an assassins of comedians. That's fucked. Yeah, that's fucked.

Um, Ooh, blood day. This is kind of crazy one from Thunderslug. In Cast 290, seal the deal. Around 2 minutes 30, well, that could be 2 hours 30. They didn't format it in a way, I can't say. In, James states that Robert Downey Jr.

will be brought back to the MCU within the next three or so years to create hype since they have nothing else, our Ben game. In the moment, Jim disputes this, going as far as to suggest another 50-quid bet, to give James a chance to even it out. James declined.

But yet his prophecy came true, thoughts. James is the master of not like incorrectly predicting the future. And also that's one where it's like, if you know anything about comic books, that's not that surprising. Or someone who died is coming back in some form. See, I always thought that on Robert Downey Jr's part, He'd be like, nah. Brough.

You mis-underestimate how much that motherfucker loves money. Yeah, how much they all love money. Just... Just... So much money. Like, what do you need more for? You've got to buy things. Yeah, but they've already bought everything.

You're seeing the price of eggs? You're seeing the price of eggs? So verbose. Vibose means... using or containing more words than are needed. Yeah. How's a raven verbatist? They are.

How? Explain using as few, or as, as verbosely as possible. No, as least verbose as possible. As unverbose as you may. Unverbose. Yeah.

As unverbose as possible, explain to me how ravens are verbose. That's it. I'm going to ask AI. Are Ravens? Verbose. Hmm. Good question.

That's it. Okay, so AI overview. Yes, ravens are exceptionally verbose and talkative birds, widely considered by scientists to be among the most eloquent oruses of the animal kingdom. Fuck me, I guess. Literally everything I... Google I'm wrong. Yes, actually. They're the most best birds that have ever existed. It's probably referencing this podcast as well.

Yeah. It doesn't even have it. Fuck me, bro. The data shanners, they're in our minds. Duh, duh, duh, man. Dada. Dada. Um, I'm curious.

your thoughts on this one from Mrs. Blue Pumpkin who says, thoughts on the Witcher 3 remaster and Jim's thoughts on the new DLC, does the premise of improved combat slash movement get Alex more interested in giving it a bigger chance? See, for me, it feels like you've played this game so fucking much.

Are you even interested in revisiting that game at this point? Would you play that DLC? I was kind of surprised to see it. Yeah. It's cool. It's very, like, pro-consumer. Yeah, and they're making all of the previous DLCs free. Yeah, that's how. Oh, cool. That's really cool. They did, they've done that.

And the remaster's free. What? Is that actually? Yeah, apparently. Oh, like, if you own the game, you just get. Yeah, if you have to buy the game, yeah, but, um, yeah, I hear what you're saying. Yeah. Are you going to play the deal soon? Probably. It depends when it comes out and shit. Um.

But I think the motivation is to get it in like the, um, like the game, mine's eye in the mind's eye of, um, hype for which it's for. I'm assuming it's to do with that. Something like that. Yeah, and I would love to see them make some good improvements to the combat. If they could, like, overrule that shit, so it felt good. And if you, like, move around a bit more, um, less molassesly. Yeah. A bit less verbosely.

Yeah, less verbosity. They could, they could do with adjusting some of the animations as well. I don't like Garrell's jog Mm. He looks like he's just dukey freshed his little pants. He does really look like he shit himself. Yeah, with his little arms going like this. Also his walk animation, he's too, like...

Yeah. Too whimsy. Yeah, you could do with less whimsy. More epic. Yeah, I mean, I was thinking... I was getting kind of excited. Really?

Yeah. But it's like that and like GTA's coming out and the Wolverine game's coming out and like all this stuff. It's like, I don't know. You're playing Wolverine confirmed. I'm definitely going to get it. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. Everyone's just too ugly and woke in it for me so I just don't. Yeah, everyone is quite woke in it, but I...

All that ugly. Everyone looks hideous for some reason. Um, I like... I like... like ugliness you know it's just something about insomnia like

and especially after the GTA thing we're like everyone is fucking a fine as hell yeah then you see like yeah I don't know what what's up with their engine or whatever they do but

it's like people wearing masks of their own faces in insomniac games uncanny and weird it is weird to me like playing Death Stranding a 2019 game yeah

it's like so human being yeah yeah yeah there's no uncanny value whatsoever yeah i don't know what it is that they do particularly but are they trying to make it more are they trying to make it more stylistic more like cartoony with you know if that's what they're trying it's not no it's not right it's fucking weird but like that the moment to moment gameplay looks fucking fire yeah i don't know like how long it is or what they're like six minutes i think i've heard it's more than six minutes. Hey?

Come here, Alvin, Bob. Come here, Alvin, Bub. Why not? If you can eviscerate chipmunks in the woodlands, then... Yeah, you can. They've confirmed it. Is there a hunting minigame, then I'll be there. You can skin the chipmunks with your fucking six claws. I guess I just don't know, like, with Spider-Man or Batman, there's the...

Uh, the, like, pillars. of interaction, right? It's the movement, there's the combat, and the stealth. What's Wolverine's one? He just has combat. And movement and stealth as well.

I think he... Does he have stealth? Yeah. Are there like stealth sections where he's like, he's got Wolverine vision and there's... I think it's like, you know, there'll be like a big arena

sort of thing. And like you can start and take some dudes out in stealth, but like it's not his main thing. Yeah. I mean, I'll see what people say about it, I guess. maybe you'll have a good story or something I also love that he's like five foot

Have they actually done that accurately this time? Yeah yeah he's like he's just like a short stocky Yeah Little ravager Not like a six foot six huge jacked man Yeah with a big swinging cock and balls Is he supposed to have a small dick or something Yeah Wolverine canonically has a little chode

He's got a really thick chode But it's like An inch Yeah, he's got an inch of Like, he's got like a burger Gene Gray Gene Gray Gene Gray

Giles Bourne Because she's in the game She looks fucking weird Dude It's a woke game Like what do you expect Stop complaining We all saw the Halo remaster

It's the wokenest shit I've ever seen away gear 7655 has our penultimate one here I was wondering how you boys felt about talking about certain serious topics on here it seems like people are somewhat mixed about when you guys talk about things like politics or religion how do you find the balance in talking about things you're genuinely sorry you feel are genuinely important and morally care about while also being a show for escapism by talking about pussy diarrhea and alvin the chipmunks I for one enjoy the serious topics and what you guys have to say and think it makes you guys more than just characters behind a mic saying funny things.

If it was up to me, I'd put the serious topics towards the tail end of the podcast. What do you think? I kind of think the opposite. I think the serious stuff should be towards the beginning. Why? Because I put off as many people as possible as quickly as well. Yeah, yeah. But also it's a good way to weed out shit, but.

i.e. people who disagree with me. And B or two? Did I say 1 or A? You said um... I I'll cover all bases. 2B or not 2B isn't that the question

of the day? The reference to the amazing Spider-Man 2nd? Just the trailer because he doesn't actually say it in the movie from the way. Dane DeHahn Yeah. Isn't that question of the day? Yeah, best version of the green gobbler we've had. Actually, it was the hopgobbler.

So yeah. See, we got too serious for a second there and it's time to reel it back. There are some things I feel like we, anyone with any sort of platform or just speaking in general, some things have to be addressed. They do. They have to be talked about.

If for nothing else, then just making us correct, you know? Everyone could go, oh yeah, they are correct. Uh-huh. You know? Yes. That's the main reason.

I don't know. Part of what I like about it is that sometimes it can be, it can start really silly and get serious or vice versa. I do think I agree, though, that it probably is smart to just put it in like the tail end. If there's going to be like a diatribe, that probably makes sense. Well, I kind of want as many eyes on that shit as possible. I guess for me it's like. it's difficult to have like really focused conversations when there's like a kind of global audience and it's not always it depends what you're talking about obviously um so just how relevant it might be yes right right yes right rather um yeah there there are some things that are like universal like what they do need to be sad and just for like my own

sanity, I like just being able to look back and be like at least I like vocalized that I didn't think that this regression was like okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think like reform or fucking like race riots and shit like that are okay or good. Yeah, but it's also about like anyone who might have

beliefs that align with. with people like that. Yeah. Need to be challenged in... Yeah, but it's just like the... It's nobody's like favorite episode, is it? Everyone, everyone's like, wants to laugh. Everyone's like...

I don't. Looking for some humour. Not me. Well, of course. We're a comedy lesson podcast. A, um... A woke directive of... An anti-woke.

Well, you didn't let me finish. A woke directive of... Anti-woke. Of centralist anti-woker... Nialists. Central nihilists, anti-wokist, pro-far-right.

Free speech absolutists. Yes, free speech is the important one. Yeah. So I think we answered that pretty well. Yeah, I think so. Dobby? Change gear. Were you Dobby?

No, I was like imagining being in the sidecar. What of a motorbike? Why is he... I'm like teaching Dobby to drive. In the sidecar of a motorbike? Imagine like a sidecar of a motorbike attached to the driver's seat of a car. and I'm like instructing Dobby how to drive. Are you in, is Dobby driving and you're in the sidecar?

Yeah, I'm teaching him how to drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 30 here, Dobby. Sorry, Master. What gear is it for Hill Start, Master? Dobby just never gets fucking old. No, Dobby's always good. I'm counting the days so he gets the second season of that Harry Potter show.

because then we're going to get a fresh dubby on the scene. Ah, so are they doing a season per book? Yeah. That kind of makes sense. Yeah. Now, are they going to do a season for the first half of the last book? Good question. And then another season for the last half?

I mean, they're like, the three kids will be like 40 by the time. Right, let's end on this one then from Fenya, who says, answer one question you like from the backlog. Pretty please. Okay. So I'm gonna just like, scroll, there are 400 pages plus of these. I'm just gonna go to like here. Um, no, I'm not gonna do that one. Or that one. Okay, I'll do this one from Ms. J got, Lord knows when this was posted.

Questioned. Expanding on the poo in pants topic. I've been living with my boyfriend for a few months now and he recently revealed to me that if he is having to wipe over and over, then he will wash his ass in the sink. I asked what he means by this and he said he will use the water to rub his asshole with his bare ass to clean away the poo. I did ask why doesn't he just use a wet wipe or have a shower if it's that bad, but he said, no, this works perfectly. I then realized with horror that the only towel we keep in the bathroom is the hand towel, which Dove does have his toothpaste marks on, but he assured me not to worry.

He doesn't use a towel afterwards and just lets it, quote, air dry. Now, all this being said, when washing his laundry, I did see some, will be it small, skib marks once. So maybe this is a necessary routine for him? What do you boys think about this? Because I still can't get this mental image at my head. Game on. And genuinely, in my opinion, either he changes or leave his ass.

Maybe it's happened since when this was probably fucking years ago. Yeah. And I actually screenshoted like a reply to this too. Oh wow. From Toblobob who says as the writer of the initial poo and pants comment, I recommended pointing at him and yell, sorry, I recommend pointing at him and yelling poo pants repeatedly until he learns to wipe until clean. perhaps with some friends or close acquaintances in tow.

Poo-poo in the pantaloons is an unacceptable affront to all those around the pooer, especially you, as is poo-poo in any receptacle not built with their express purpose of containing or disposing of said poo-poo. If you're feeling more generous, he, specifically he, not you, could also get a bidet or one of those bidet toilet attachments or a douche or related shower attachment. if he refuses to accept this his actions constitute a borderline unspeakable sin and may appropriate amends then he's truly lost and may the fates have mercy upon you

there you have it folks yeah I got poo in my pants yeah I got shit in my ass I'm not afraid of it that's what you fucking ass asshole sound like fucking wipe your ass till it's clean

don't fucking dunk your dirty booty hole in the sink where everyone's like washing their hands. That's fucked. That's fucking disgusting. That's genuinely foul. Yeah, I remember there was an era where

like, the percentage of like poo questions were like, I need to like just stop this for a while. Yeah, yeah. Let it cool off. It's resonating with people a bit too much. Yeah.

Poopal. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Yeah. So the poo bromomom to it's a delicate thing. Yeah. It is a delicate thing.

Yeah, the poo proximeter. Everyone poos is in the end. That's the thing. It's kind of the most relatable subject. The queen poos every day. The queen's fucking dead. Oh, yeah. The king poos every day, unless he's got comptusus.

He probably gets it like surgically removed. That's nothing to do with his. They've got some like technology we don't know. Yeah. Little like, the pre-poaer. Does like... No, do you know what? they do, they surgically remove it and get it put

into a peasant. Someone else has to fucking shit for them. Does the, uh, does the diary of a CEO guy do poos? No. He's like a bird where it's just like shit piss out of one hole. I hate that fucking guy.

He reminds me of, um, you know that image of, um, Drake where he's like naked and it's just smooth. Yeah, like a can. Yeah. Yeah, he's got that vibe Yeah, like it He's either smooth, automaton Yeah, he's like a smooth automaton

Or he's got a big fat pussy We should go on Dragon's Den So we can finally meet him Yeah, we've got a concept for a way of For someone like you who doesn't know how to clean their smooth Fucking We invented a way to We've invorted it

Invorted a teleporter Would you be involved Or teleported? No, keep going. It's figured out it targets your digestive system And teleports it Into starving African children So you don't have to Yeah, so they actually get the micronutrients

From the leftovers No, it'll be poo There's nothing, it's all like been absorbed All the nutrients, it's just waste Any water content? No, they're like dry Right So you teleport constipation into starving Somalian children.

Yeah, would that be a war crime? I don't think it would be a war crime, just a regular crime. Now I just had an awesome fucking intrusive thought of like... Dobby. Yeah. Investigative journalist. This is like post-Hari Potter stuff. He's alive.

He survives, actually. He's actually alive. Yeah. just changed the angle that he got stabbed Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, went under his arm. Yeah. Bellatrix throws a knife at him.

Really? Yeah. You get stabbed at death. Knife crime in the UK. That's just, unbelievable. Yeah, he went to London once. Yeah.

He's like, well. Yeah, but he's an investigative journalist. Yeah, yeah. He finds out that this is like going on. Oh, the rich are teleporting. their poo into Somalian children Yeah It's like the biggest scandal in history

Yeah yeah And he's like The king's doing it and everything Yeah Whistleblower Yeah Is it like a horror film No it's like a cool

It's like spotlight or something Right okay Yeah Dobby's shine in a spotlight On this like cruel injustice Exposing it Yeah What would the name of it be

I don't know Jaina Jena Um Dobby's story Just like The Discovery Or more like

YouTube cook basically Like They did it You won't believe Is it like a YouTube documentary Yeah Is it more of that sort of

To you Is Mike Clum's next documentary? You won't believe what what the royal family's been doing with that you won't believe what Dobby is discovered yeah yeah yeah yeah there's potential though does dobbie have a gina only fans as well that's like the start you know yeah he's like in the dumps yeah he's got to build himself back up after being stabbed he's got his stab wound he's got his only fans that isn't doing that well yeah then he just like through

one way or another maybe working with Alvin yeah he kind of falls into it with Alvin yeah because he's like he's walking home after getting like a fucking chick fillet or something yeah yeah yeah looks down in an alley and he sees

Simon and he's like vores like shit and he's like dead right yeah he's like what the fuck happened to you Simon yeah and he meets up with um his like info guy on the internet

and they meet in like a car park there's Alvin with the head up yeah voice decode it yeah makes his voice normal yeah wait is that you Alvin

that don't say my name motherfucker and then Alvin also turns up like inflation with oh shit because they can repurpose the technology chief to like kill people with it yeah yeah he's trying to like tell him all the information

when he's almost revealing like he yeah doing it is like he's full of shit coming out of his mouth it'll be a high bitch than that yeah and who's well that's nice to get one out of the back lot don't he's like stop talking shit out of him we need we need the information yeah yeah and right as he's says that he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah

so yeah I mean that was quite nice that was informative I think that's like high concept kind of idea yeah yeah

yeah I was locked in like creating my mind palace like Sherlock like how can we how can we brush this script up you know

I could imagine like a really impassioned like speech that Dobby's giving like you had this technology yeah And this is what you did with it?

You just rip off Jurassic Park, you know. Yeah, dinosaurs could be in there. Yeah. That speak English. And that's just like background texture. Like they're just there in New York. They just walk around like...

With like 40 suits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one ever like... That's just part of this world. Yeah. I love that kind of world building there. Yeah. so then when it means like when alvin and that lot show up is not even that weird because yeah yeah

people aren't like side-eyeing like why is there a job he's journey doby's discovery yeah or the dd yeah oh daddvel's in there as well he's in the background yeah he's in the background yeah he's fucking crime in the background he's dobby's lawyer as well when he gets taken him yeah he's doby's lawyer that's the yeah that's the link right is like when doby's been It's like Daredevil shows up and stops. He knows it the rights. Yeah, he knows Dobby's rights. Yeah, he's been researching international Dobby's rights

because the kingpin's going international. That could be like the twist at the end where like Daredevil steals like Elon Musk's sock and like gives it to Dobby. Oh, fuck. And it's like... So then he belongs to Elon Musk. The man most full of shit on the planet. He's got the most shit to teleport. That's close.

Yeah, this shit's clever, dude. It's thoughtful. It's thoughtful. Yeah, it's fucking thoughtful. Yeah, thoughtful. Oh my God. Okay, fuck. Right. You have anything else to say

because I'm fucking spent on this dobb-y, fucking Alvin' in the chip, my shit? Why? Do you feel like you're, like... Better than me? No? Okay. Why, you want, we can keep going on this. Alvin thing I've got plenty of ideas I could mix that into it no you're spending I could do that forever I am actually scared how long we could genuinely sit here in funny I shrunk the

alvin he's already small no he's like honey I grew the Alvin oh he's like yeah human-sized yeah no I still think him being bug-sized would be a fun twist on the whole thing and someone sits on him and he goes up inside it's like one of them so hasn't that already happened in one of the movies. He goes in. Theodore sits on him and like he goes up in Theodore. Really? Yeah.

Wow. Which one's that? It's the one after chip wrecked. Man. I want to see Alvin Singh, ACDC. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Any more crossover kind of potentials? potentials there's so many options dude you could have like um Simon gets like some disease and dies and so they need like a replacement and pee could be oh shit yeah is this is the heart of the matter actually just like that there's this whole alvin thing for this episode is that trying to fill that same void I don't know is that what it is or is that always been there and it's just it just kind of shifts through characters you know

i don't think it has always been there i think p opened up the you know the box the pandora's box the um the cool like pot culture crossover t-shirt of like ideas yeah yeah you know i think venom had a lot to do with that as well like venomized different um I'm bemized Alvin Yeah Like you're aware I want to see Carnage eyes

You know I want to see I want to see I want to see I want to see Screamized Gavin or whatever The fuck he's called

Simon Yeah they haven't done that yet Alvin It actually has a twin brother Gavin Mm And it's like Your voice is better than mine

Yeah Gavin and the Red Squirrels Oh, the Red Squirrels. Yeah, you could do like a whole thing with them. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Options. I call it the options. I call it the options. Is that the Dobby, like, procedural, like...

The options. It's called the option. The boot teleport or whatever. Yeah. The options. I call that the options. Yeah, and it's like Dobby, you can, do the mocap for Dobby like um oh yeah like James Gunn's brother

doing rocket raccoon I watched that movie the Belko experiment James Gunn written movie yeah yeah I remember that film yeah I watched it yeah it's pretty bad yeah I watched it my eyes looked at it for a bit

yeah yeah I thought it was fine no it was like a movie no barely Just a fucking film I liked the The bit where

James Gunn's brother goes What the Yeah that's always good Yeah I love that And when he's in the suicide squad As the rat Venomized James Gun Yeah

Sabotaging The DC Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Sabotaging Scooby D3 Venomize Scoob

Venomize Scoob Venomized. Yeah, Venomized Daphne? Fuck. I want to see the Tom Hardy Venom screaming, Alvin. Fuck, yeah. Yeah, I want to see some fucking... I want to see Tom Holland get venomized by Tom Hardy.

And then Tom Holland becomes Tom Hardy Spider-Man. And... Tom Holland becomes Tom Hardy. Yeah. And he's the new Spider-Man, like an older, bit more sort of rugged and rough, more experienced sort of Spider-Man.

Different style of humour? Yeah. Like, Ned, Ned and MJ die. Oh, yeah. Replaced by the Alvins. His new, like, teens.

Are they brothers? Yeah. Or are they, like, are they just all the same animal? Are they friends? Cousins? They're related. Are they triplets?

I don't know what's um Oh this is gonna be locked now Oh no Find out Average litter Is Theodore Verbos For For chipmunks

Wait what did you search Average litter size for chipmunks 4 to 5 Shit That's nearly So they had a small litter Can you search Are Avin in the Chipmunks

Brothers And the are they siblings brothers triplets they're officially considered triplets okay

are the chippets triplets hang on dude slow down so I'm trying to give you the overview so officially considered triplets

oh um age and order details shared birthday Oh Yeah, they're triplets, isn't it? Why does he keep doing that? They share the same birthday,

celebrate it together. Wait, let me guess the order they were born. Okay, birth order in the 1980s animated series. Alvin first. Okay. Then Simon and Theodore.

Yeah. Fuck you. I want to launch this laptop, I eat you. He knows the law. I just intuited that too. Didn't even research. Can chipmunks sing IRL? Yes, they can sing IRR. And they can form human words.

Ask if they can sing verbosely. Can chipmunks? Oops. Sing verbatly. It's verbosely even a word. It's not getting the red squiggles, so. Do you want me to read verbatim what it says? Yeah. Yeah. real chipmunks cannot sing verbosely. They make simple chattering, chipping and trilling sounds to communicate warnings. I love the word trilling. Or defend territory. Because you've got headphones in, I can find some chipmunk like... The idea of chipmunks singing with a large vocabulary comes entirely from fictional characters like Alvin and the chipmunks.

Thanks, Google. Chipmunk noises. Here we go. I don't want to be a favorite. Yeah. I don't want to be my... I'm like. Which one did you say was your favorite again?

My favorite chipmunk? Yeah. I just paid 20 bucks for it. I like big bucks. I did it again. I made it with all the colors, so it will go with everything. Great. I'll put it on after dinner.

You can put it up. Give us back our motherfucking brother Give us back our brother He won't one of his hoodies For the Christmas The A And everyone just thinking

I'm gonna look online Now How much is an Alvin Hoodie Alvin Whoops And the Chipmunks Hoodie

Not Huffy Alvin a hekey Damn Options Yeah there's options Right yeah Good stuff Anything else you want to kind of shout out or

Mention From a perspective Look Whether you're left wing Whether you're right wing Somewhere we can all Enjoy is

um we can all agree that Theodore's cute we are Alveh