JAR Media Posdact - Ceiling Fans DON'T Have Names? #pawnymonth

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 14:30 Housekeeping 36:44 Alex Went to Canada 49:59 Pawny Corner 1:12:49 Mid Break 1:20:56 Question Segment: Pawny Coworker 1:22:29 100 Pawny vs 1 Giant Pawny 1:28:30 Car Crash 1:32:58 Squash on the Rocks? (Meat Drinks) 1:35:59 Ideas. How? 1:40:15 How much do you love? #BroCastS5E3

Would you like to hear my bony impression? What do you think? Fiercely loyal alien. Hello, I'm fiercely loyal. You're fiercely loyal, you say, pony? Hello everybody! have been voiced by Keith Lemon Maybe then it would have been a success

His brother should be in the next one Keith Lemon Hello brother I don't like that What would Pawnee's brother Name be? Parnies Ponds don't have names

They're just pawns classic fucking quote but he does have a name they give him a name and he's like I actually kind of like that a little bit kind of much kind of much

hello brother I've missed you brother Pony I thought you're going to say you miss me nah I miss Pony is more important in Pony

I've just missed Pony Pony well unfortunately it's getting well actually we're kind of like as a recording about halfway through pony month yeah we're like slap bang in the center we're like in his belly button dead in the middle of pony's belly button mm nice smelling belly button fluff pony um so i'm pretty jet lagged um um and more

nah you're fine and i got rear do you actually It's just safe to assume Yes If there's a toggle Nice smelling rear, Porni So We'll get to Porni shortly But good afternoon, morning

Evening or night Ladies and gentlemen I'm Alex joined by Jim And Pony As well Of course Hey guys that's for the audio listeners you know they got to use their imagination more um yeah uh god what do we say normally

like porny we talk about porny um we do porny things this is the first ever pony podcast biggest in the world it doesn't get bigger than this as far as porny podcasts are concerned no it doesn't Yeah, we're like Mount Everest compared to the nearby hill. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, we're kind of the queens of the Pawnee podcaster arena. The queens of the chess board. Yeah, and as we know, we're not going to lose another queen. Never.

Never. Never. Never. Never let Pornie go. never let Pony stay ethereal Never let him down Always forget that word

You know That like gods have That gods are You know Omniscient Yeah that Omnipotent Yeah but he's all of them

He's omnipotent He's omnipresent He's omnipresent He's omnipresent He's an omniraptor I can smell you coming pony I can sense you in the other dimension Pony

Do you think there's a dimension Because Are you a bit? believer of multiverse um doesn't make a more likely porny exists really in reality in some kind of way if there are infinite universes with infinite possibilities then one of them has porny in it one of them has one of them is entirely just porny like he's the only thing on planet earth no no he's the only thing like the whole universe is just him like what if He's in space, porn in space.

Yeah, I came up with the possibilities. No, no, like, there is no space, only him. Pony in space. That's just Men in Black International in VHS DVDs now. That's too far. Pony would never go to space. He's an earthbound kinship. Is he an alien?

Yeah, he came from space, right? I don't know, why is he on a chessboard, a human invention? Because Chas was designed after their species That's men in black law Have you not been keeping up to date on the Vati videos I got to call up Tessa Thompson and Yeah can you get the inside scoop Chris can you just iron this bit out for me?

Imagine he's at like a panel for like fucking Avengers Look I just got a quick question for you Yeah. Which planet or which region of space did Porni come from? And he's just like, what? Yeah. Who's Porni? Yeah. Fuck you, Chris. You're a fucking do you're a phoony. Yeah, a gotcha. A classic gotcha.

That would be a classic gotcha. Yeah. That's the type of shit that the president of America, those are the kind of quite softball questions that he wants to be getting. He like bans all the press Apart from people who are asking about MIB He's gonna make MIB a real Like government organization

Yeah He's probably already done that Yeah We want to make Pony real Yeah Ali's are real Aliens are real I've seen Pony myself

I've seen him in the movies Yeah they're like that's the type of shit they be doing where he'll watch men in black and then be like right we got to get camille and journey into the oval office now and we're going to take him apart and find pony like inside him because he thinks he's like you know in the first man of black there's like a little alien in yeah yeah inside yeah like a little guy controlling a robot that is we must his member of camille find the real pony he's being like butchered in the fucking evil office he's cutting him apart himself

yeah tearing him limb from him I'm gonna find him where is he I'll not lose another queen he's fucking torn up about the queen

the queen the queen fucking dying yeah imagine porn his reaction to that if he was still around that was this obviously the film came out before the queen passed it was her favorite flick it kept her going

yeah it gave her a big boost of life what type of alien do you think Liz Truss was which is like the monster from the first one like the cockroach thing yeah the cockroach guy yeah yeah here um before we get no she's sorry she's she's like no please the beatboxing one that will smith beatboxes with oh yeah if you remember that language is that from the third one no that's the second one it's so how he convinces m or k that's right he convinces k to come back

no i think this trust is one of the johnny knoxville um yeah but before we get too deep into the show let me shout out of the JAR Media Patreon and the patrons that make the show and audio version possible. You get that raw, unfiltered MP3 over there, ad free. Do the ponny dance, brother. Do the ponny dance.

Do the, do the, do the, do the ponny dance. A bunch of perks over there. A bunch of things going on. Your patron names read out in the first or second week of each month. So get those in ready for... Is it November next? It is November next.

Oh my God. Oh, my God. After Hours, the supplementary show, with a wide range of topics, normally, when it's not porny month. Even though last time we did a reaction kind of breakdown analysis of the Black IP's original Let's Get It Started song. A little bit not safe for work, not even safe for YouTube, you know, trying to rewrite history. Yeah, those guys and girls. his bests and then as you can see in the background uh the porny cut kind of my what what's the word for the thing that's like the best thing you've ever made that best thing magnum opus yeah my magnum

opi um opus i took the magnum pornus i took all the porny all the important bits from men and black international kind of stitch it together um into about eight minutes or something it's about how much time he's in the two-hour-long film. And, yeah. Is it that long? I think it's actually under two hours, but... Nice. Chip and cheerful, they say.

Chip, uh, J-Vil. So, yeah, you can watch us react to the Pornie Cut. And that's been a huge one, one of the biggest ones ever. But there's more, though. There's the Porni documentary. There's Argy's Chance, Paisley's Chance. Melvin Brother of the Joker, discovery analysis. God, there's so many explaining the thumbnails,

W. Place, Swindon, Diary of a Farting Creeper, read-along, all of it. Warwick Davis. Warwick Davis interview. One or two of those isn't real. At least one of them isn't real. I feel like I need to say that illegally. Illegally.

Illegally. The porny interview. view is real though that we can confirm yeah yeah for sure um and i guess last but not least the jarmedia group chat is a group chat on the patreon where we get suggestions little bits of feedback here in there government advice government advice um yeah breathe in breathe out pony is just about to make you laugh my name's ludicrous i breathe in Breather You were saying earlier

Ludacris is your favorite actor He's my favorite actor And my least favorite rapper Well weirdly he's my Favorite rapper but least favorite actor Really? Yeah So it balances out quite well

That's I guess that's why they designed Taoism Hmm Have you heard of Taoism? I know da-da-daism Da-da Da-da Paw and he look at you in the eye and say da-da

Yeah. Pony just been born. And he's in a diaper. Da-da. Pony on diaper, da-da. Da-da, give me binky. Stinky diaper. Give me binkie. Nice one, pony. Who's a stinky little? You're an adorable baby, little baby, pony.

What do you think he eats some poops? Like, rocks. Little rock bits. Minerals. He's so small. He just sucks on the rocks. Yeah, like salt goats. Yeah.

What's the deal with salt gates? Imagine if they tried a... They climb and lick. Imagine if they tried like a McDonald's fry. Their eyes bulge, pony style. Start climbing those golden arches. That'd be awesome. I want to see those shit's climbing the...

What's it, the Birge Kaleifa? Picture this. Picture this, I'm Don Draper. So... seen goat in McDonald's. There's Pawnee in the boardroom, too. Yeah, Pawnee's jerking off in the corner. Keep going, Don.

He's got whiskey sour, too. Old-fashioned for me. Coming right up, Pawnee. Yeah, and Don Draper, um, what I'm saying is I think I could advertise McDonald's quite well with the goat thing. Yeah. And Pawnee interrupts before he can finish. And it can tie in with the happy meal for the goat movie, goaded, the goaded movie.

The Pawnee's like stirring is old-fashioned. So when do I come into the picture? That's what it's been like in the jar offices for the last few weeks. Mm. You know? Uh-huh. When do I come in? He's like the CEO.

He's like the W.W.E. C. yoga who was like he always wanted to get involved we own I we each own one share of jar and um the other 98% is owned by uh porny he's a majority shareholder yeah partially why we've been forced to do this month of uh porny content yeah it's like an ego trip yeah we do we're actually doing this against our will if this is it out yeah we hate the guy Yeah, we can't stand his ass I'm sick of him Sick of him

We're sick of you But we can't stop We're addicted man Yeah He just smells too good dude You have you smell Bonnie's belly button His butt fuzz

Be fresh It's like crack man Yeah So I guess we should do some housekeeping Right Yeah probably We wrap up some of those conversations From the previous week

It's been years It does feel like years Doesn't it What the Because of course Last episode was pre-recorded even before Pawnee Month began, but just happened to

perfectly fit, to be perfectly done in a way that fit into Pawnee Month. That was perfectly done. I just want that was prophetic. Let's pat ourselves on the back, quick. Porn ourselves on the back. Yeah. That was prophetic. Yeah.

We're the prophets, pawnies, the God. Yeah. We're the prophets, Pawne's the God. yeah what's that um um um what's this what are you thinking think outwards no it would have to be cut out so i'm just not going to say it sorry when i think about pornia you sometimes get overwhelmed and a bit sick comes out yeah sometimes i cough up like flam blood see we've in the past few like months we've been listening to like instrumentals um to give us like a mood um and we're playing mf doom

instrumentals right now is that what this is yeah and um it's just got me thinking like if doom was still with us the fucking rap he could write about pornie yeah oh man can you imagine don't worry we will honorably um posthumously make an AI porny rap nice what he would have wanted Tastfully done. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he would have wanted. Perfectly done. Much like the cleanliness of my gun.

Sniffing is barely but done. Mm, gonna come. Yeah, see, man. Maybe he's like overrated because, like, you just rhymes. Yeah. What is he writing fucking baby rhymes or something? Little baby binkie rhymes, is it? Right.

Okay, we were going to do housekeeping before we got distracted by the topic at hand. But we've got to get there. Parnie, for you, I dropped to my knees. Fapping and clapping, it's happening lapping. Up sap, that I've splat on the mat and the substance is masculine. On the Jiamedia group chat said,

um, can we please have the Gwen Quadrenaro's arc once, Pawnee month is over. Hell no. It doesn't work like that. Yeah, shut the fuck up You can't force it, you know Or you at least need to be a majority shareholder

Yeah, yeah Ben Quadronaris couldn't fucking afford half a share He could barely maintain his pod racer let alone Yeah, I mean he's dead For one Did he die? No, he's alive

He crashed and died, right? No, he's alive Really? Yeah Yeah, he's alive because his pod racer breaks And he just goes Bortosa No, that's subalba

No, no, no, no no no know. Bro, trust me. He's alive. You've probably seen the Padres more than I have. I don't remember. I thought he got pounded in the cave bit. No. Many do get pounded in the caves of the Podres

but Ben Quadrenaris is not one of them because his Podros won't start alongside Anacons. Oh, and then they all fly off. Yeah. So he can't even compete. So he was actually saved. What a fucking terrible sequence to have in that? Like, the fact that he got the

animators to like get that far. You know, it's like a tension bit where Anakin's pub racer like doesn't start, but then there's also another pod racer that doesn't. And it just takes the attention away. Just to confuse it, like why? Yeah.

It's like, what the least? It's like the least concise. You know, if brevity is the soul of weight or whatever, it's like the least brev thing.

Ironically, with how much of a brev, Ben Gorgonaris is. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, it's worth it because we got Ben. Ben, who obviously is important to the plot because that was the inspiration for Obi-1 Canobee to change his name. He adopted Ben's. Why did he give him the same name as fucking Obi-Wan? Well, because Obi-1's there.

He hears the name when they're... That's why he put it in the film. It's like poetry. You know what? I really like that name. Yeah. They should have had... Like, you and McGregor say that. Ben.

I like it. Yeah, you should do the Fantastic Four's say that again. Yeah. Really fuck. Yeah. You're by yourself. Some sort of harm solo, is it? You're a single porn piece on a chest pole.

Yeah. Porny solo, it seems. What a fucking meme. Shit, there's such a fucking, and actually a pretty good movie. I re-watched it, like, a few years ago. It is surprisingly good, especially the, the high sequence. It's got a couple of really great action scenes,

but that is, like, maybe something worse writing in a podcast that ever is so weird. Crazy, crazy. I don't kind of have a second kind of name. I don't have any people I'm with. I'm kind of by myself. Like a solo sort of thing. It's so stupid.

Speaking of things that aren't stupid and are abnormal and cool, please porny, don't take baby Rick, says, can you please talk about a little obscure, critical porny? Don't think he's been a topic yet. What? Are you confused by? Really again. Can you talk about a little obscure critic called pornie?

Don't think he's been a topic yet. I'll go based on that one. I can't say cringe A slam dunk Cosmos Also from the group chat said If you could visit an alien planet Like a tourist destination With zero prep time

Would you? Would experiencing casual xenophobia Be a deal breaker? Who's xenophobic? Me or them? Both Really? Okay. Yeah, if it's equal I'll go for it. Yeah, I'd probably be like being

100% honest and realistic if Pawnee like appeared in real life I probably would be kind of xenophobic What? You wouldn't like him being in your space? No

Why? He's scared of his little ass He is capable, that's the thing with him And you know he can perfectly do it Yeah, that's scary Yeah, yeah And you can't even trap him in a glass jar He said that perfectly in time

he can perfectly get out of it I've got like a sixth sense for this motherfucker I'm perfectly yeah it's like when you come across a small fiercely loyal alien yeah that is scary in real life in fiction that's one thing but bring him into

the realm of the real things change a little bit and the xenophobia comes out you green fuck yeah stop co-opting Japanese culture Shit, yeah, we haven't even gotten to that bit Yeah Geez

Well, which came first What, you're telling me Pony invented chess and samurai Where was chess invented? China Was that actually? Yes, thousands of years old Which is really fucking cool

And they still haven't updated it No, they have updated it Many times Really? Yeah It was something I think, um, Pony helped write the art of war. Yeah, I could see him being like an ancient Chinese warlord.

Yeah, he's like, um, he's committing... See, they missed the beat there. Why did they make him, like, a Japanese samurai? Should have been some, like, Chinese thing. Yeah. You know? Chinese dibby. Yeah, if...

If chess was made in China, surely he should have been. Everything was made in China. including me what the I've been Chinese this whole time I'm a Chinese Android

I'm a Chinese milking android all of this has just been a Chinese sciop to big up Pornie to get Pornie in the mainstream AIO overlord um

bring him back so did you answer the question would you visit an alien planet um maybe does Porni have a home world no like where does he like where does he come from where does he where do his people live he's a human he was a human once yeah but not anymore he chose to be what he is now pants don't have names afternoon aguna Pony like a melody in my head that I can't keep out

That's so fucking real Pony like a melody Pony like a melody I mean I agree And don't ask me what my social security number is says Not sure if it's an issue other northern jarlings go through But the pronouncing of jafter hours is a real struggle when I say it

it sounds like after not after saying it like jafter don't sound right jaith does say in jafter jarfter

jarfter as it sounds like I'm putting on a right posh accent would you consider changing it to something that makes sense for everyone

like this is the after hours for jar or bonus uncut censored episode for patrons or something on YouTube

after the fact you don't need to say it out loud yeah what do you need to say it for Yeah, true Just call it JA Yeah Ja Ja

Yeah Oh yeah That's how you smell Right Ja Ja Ja Ja

Oh ja Do what Want one? I've like Condensed it You don't even Like need to say What you want

What I'm I don't I still want to hear it There Nah No No No

Oh come on man No, we're on porny at the moment We're gonna do Red Bull Month Start doing some crazy fucking like stunts That would be cool Yeah We just get really into skateboarding Just a one month

Yeah And then give it up Get like a world record And moving to the comments From the last episode Relecio 9921 said Don't cry because it's done Smile because it's perfect

Lee done Yeah yeah yeah Yeah, they missed that a bit of the end. No, I got it, though. I like it. Um, 57768 says experiment idea. Can you get drunk ASF and then talk about porny? No.

Absolutely not. I mean, that was the last episode. Do you not drinking dust you all over? Makes it go. Uh-oh, I gotta get to work. Yeah. I'm late for work. Oh, God, I'm gonna start filtering.

Now, that could be a family guy, a Big Mouse spin-off. Inside fucking Nick Crowell. Yeah. Inside Nick Crawl's fucking ass. I'm the fucking liver and you're the asshole, man. Fuck you, dude, you're such a dick. Yeah, I know I am. Nice one, Nick.

You fucking suck, dude. I'm funny of the Nick. How embarrassing is that? No one's funny than Pornie, though No Not even Nick Kroll Not even Nick Kroll could Fucking beat

Can you imagine Nick Crowell voicing Pony How fucking bad that would be Oh man That could be kind of funny actually Dush Yeah Yeah I kind of like Pony's new brother like this Hey I'm Pony

Yeah Hey I'm Pony Weir 8 said Let me guess They somehow talk about porny again for an hour No Why is not What the fuck do you say that for anyway

You say that like Fuck you, dude Whatever next Uncle Donk replies that saying I clicked at a random point in the video And they were just talking about porny Shut up Shut up

Just making Jim upset Yeah, fucking assholes You're upsetting my brother Block them Yeah Don't get blocked Honestly that guy voicing porny

Yeah Pawnee Pawnee Pawnee Pony Oh save that one Actually Warlock Wabit

Said my fave show To smash A knickerbock of glory To whey Nice What's that You know It's that ice cream

thing. Do you not remember us talking about that simply one week ago, but for us actually a month ago? Yeah. What was it? It's like ice cream with a cherry or a glaze cherry in it.

What, a Sunday? Parnie's got those glazed cherry eyes. Pony's got those glizzy cherry eyes. CMG 3596 says they might be stoned in this one. Okay. Okay.

Should we do a trip report? Should we end um... Should we end a Pony Month with a becoming Porni on Salvia trip report? Yeah. I was stuck in the movie. A Man in Bike International.

I experienced in real time as Porni's queen was brutally murdered before my eyes I became Tessa Thompson with Pornie in her pocket I had such a desire to protect Tessa Thompson my new queen

it felt so real yeah what the fuck would happen if like you know you get the like kaleidoscopy thing you use for a bunch of hallucinics and whatever

yeah you had a bunch of like porny thing ones and you have had like projectors playing the pony cut everywhere yeah like what would actually happen to you psychologically like it would re maybe you'd like actually think you're him you're just cured every ailment gone you've never found a more healthy individual he's stronger than the rock and smarter than Ryan Reynolds the ultimate human yeah and then Red Bull instantly sponsors you yeah he's even more advertiseable than than wrecks some fcc um

um scack newman says might be the most insane episode yeah somehow my favorite part was the very grounded intimate suggestion that grommett was an associate of epstein Pornie would never go to the island Wallace was like Wallace was contracted to like build some gadgets and gizmos to Yeah A real goldberg machine Yeah to like get to the island

Trump sits down And it's like Neat, me, me, me, knee It's like going down slides and shit Whew! To a catapult, yeah From, um, from his, He drops him into his suit.

Yeah. Wrong way round. Yeah. He gets the jam on his face. Yeah. Oh, that allegedly alleged thing that's only alleged. Yeah. Trump allegedly went down a,

Wallace and Cromit. A true book. Man. Stabby Joe, 758, it said, I don't know you guys are anymore. We're pornie guys now Yeah We're the same as ever

We just have We're actually being more real than ever Yeah Never been more realer Well we've been kept woke for so long Not able to talk about You know the stuff that we care about Yeah

And finally the Overton window has moved to a point We're able to do this Like with no friction Finally So I've been building to this Yeah we got fired from the BBC for I believe some porny

so we're bringing it straight to you straight to your retina unfiltered unscensored for once finally fucking finally we've got

Russell Crow on the next one talking all things pornie Russell Brand fucking talking about porny on rumble I fucking hate his mouth I hate Russell Brand's mouth

He's always like this. Like his lips are afraid of his teeth. You know, like when you give a horse like a crisp. Yeah, yeah, it's salt and vinegar crisp. Yeah. Yeah, what an ugly man. What an ugly man? Um, lots of women find him as irresistible as we find pornity.

Well, irresistible in all the wrong ways. Yeah. Yeah. Um I guess last one Rankster says They barely talked about Porny this episode

What the heck Is it Porny Month or what You want more Well we'll give you more We're trying as best as we can It's bloody hard It's like Um

Like Faith right Like to be a nun Right It, they don't do it because it's easy. No, they do it precisely because it's hard. Because it's difficult. It's like monk shit.

Yeah. So we're like the porny nuns. Hello, nunny. You got my binkie, nomi. Yeah. Where's my non binkie? It'd be easy to be a monk if you're allowed like a binkie. Yeah.

It's way too easy. that's that's part of being the monk that you have to sit in a room with a binky and not deny yeah you have to resist resist the bink oh this is the bloody hardest thing yet

that's what batman does to train I want the binkie bag where is the binkie the binkie the joker's got like millions you want a pinky bad man Don't tempt me

Joker You've binkied for the last time Oh god I love it I freaking love it Almost as much as I love Men in Black International That's Pawnee I want a pony style binky

Pony binkie is just like his head So it looks like it kind of eating them You know Yeah yeah yeah Like a porny wing I feel like A plate of Pawnee Wings, perfectly seasoned. Um, so to end this segment, uh, Fred Joe said, this is a quote.

Um, I could have, you know, hidden this. I could have not addressed this. Um, but you know, some, some things in history cannot be erased. Um, uh, what the fuck were they thinking? No identity, no character. No arcs, no chemistry, no humour, no narrative hook, no fun creature designs, didn't like a single scene, a void. Alex's letterbox review of Men in Black International July 26th, 2019. Look, a man can make mistakes. That's, I guess you were playing into the woke mob's hand. That's kind of what I mean. I was scared to say my true opinion. Yeah.

you know because it simply wouldn't have been accepted at the time from what i understand um after you posted that the critical drinker personally called you and said you need to take this down now he said well because he loves porn it because he loves men in black international does it yeah yeah i love to check up on that one yeah um people that when you say all that do you mean the previous 30 minutes no just the fart just the fucking fart dude um yeah so I've been in Canada for the last week

why um I figured if there was anywhere I was going to find Pornie in real life it was going to be in that uh chill place where everyone's kind of like friendly bit like Pornie Hey guys It's kind of like a country of Yeah, they're all fonnies over there. Yeah, they're just chilling, like, eating yummy Asian food and... Smoking weed.

Smoking weed and all sorts. Yeah, had an awesome time. Did you play any basketball with Drake? No, but I did FaceTime him because he was in Toronto. And he was like, oh man, I didn't know you were going to be here, like... Hey, I'm over here with Pony. Come join me, bro. I did manage to grab a drink with Ryan Reynolds there. Nice.

Did you have some aviation gin? You know it. Some aviation, buy one, get one free from aviation gin. Featuring Wrexham football. Yeah. So I was kind of like, I was trying to buddy up with Ryan and be like, listen, you got that poor rain. There's a certain character I think he needs to meet.

Uh-huh. Red Notes 2 feet. Yes. We actually need... Red Notes one was a surprising... Surprisingly, like, sincere. Yeah. And it had Ed Sheeran in it?

Yeah. Yeah, I got a few comparisons to Ed Sheeran on the Sardonicast live stream. What do you mean? We did on the Saturday I was there. Yeah, because my voice is just so fucking beautiful, you know? You do sing like Ed Shearron, to be fair. Yeah. And I'm, and I'm Ginger.

No, you're not. I'm sick of that. I'm fucking sick of that. Everyone's... Yeah, but you're not. You're just not. You aren't what that is. I just...

I'm gatekeeping ginger. Hello, Ginger. But, like, I've got nothing against Ginger's unlike everybody else. I would just own it if I actually was. It's like, what, I know blonde people are rare. They're not. All over the fucking place. They're 3% of the world.

3% of a fucking 7 billion is a ridiculously large number. Are you trying to piss me off today? How many ginger people? What ginger percentage is in the world? I would assume even lower. Much lower. Should I Google it? Google it.

How many ginger people? They're going to die in our lifetime. They're going to die out. And it's your fault for not being ginger. It's estimated that 1 to 2% of the world population has red hair. See? So 70 to 140 million people. Yeah, that's fucking rare.

Let me check blonde then, because that seems too close to blonde. But, bu, ba, bu. Apparently 2% of the world's population naturally has blonde hair, so about the same. Yeah, but you're not blonde. Yeah, I'm ginger. He's ginger. Because I guess a lot of women dye their hair blonde, which makes it seem like there are more blonde people than that.

Fucking fakers. You're bloody fucking fake. And like, I embrace the curls, finally, and then people are like, why does he get his hair permed? Is he like, what? Is he gay? Yeah, he's got those curly gay hair. Like, what the fuck? I used to get it straightened.

Did you actually? That's gay. Because I was so, I was so frightened of having curly hair. You're so frightened of being straight? Yeah. So I just curled up. Like a curly fry on. my head.

I'm getting kind of little ringlets. And speaking of the uh, porny ringlets, no, the trip to Vancouver. Yeah.

How was the live... I stayed with Adam, had an awesome time. Yeah. Did the live stream. Met man carrying thing. There's lovely wife and child for the first time in person. It's really cool. Did his baby have a binkie?

His baby didn't have a binkie, actually. Good. I think most babies shouldn't have binkies in my opinion I feel like you're more likely to be a smoker if you're a binkie have a yeah I think you're actually correct on that

really doesn't it do something to your teeth as well I don't know I've never binkied I've done the binkie research I've got quite big front teeth all the better for biting all the better for biting binkies

but yeah the stream went well nice many are jarring was in there. Kaisanat? Kaisanat is a jarling, yeah. Speed? Yeah. Aidan Ross?

But a bunch of like the superchats and stuff had these obscure jar references that I refused to explain to Adam and Jake. Out of embarrassment. No, because it's kind of like the cult doesn't work if it's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a dog whistle if everyone knows.

Exactly, yeah. Yeah. So this dog whistle has to be... silent that's the point uh-huh yeah it's like um in fight club when the beating up people are like nodding at each other and stuff what's the first rule of jar media never talk about pony that's the that's a test in the opposite world the first real rule of jar media is to always talk about pornie yeah a bunch of the superchats reference porny which was pretty pretty bad ass Spoke to a lot of Canadians and heard a lot of bear anecdotes.

Because, of course, one of my biggest animal fears is bears. Yeah, that's been well reported on the cast. And I go for a walk in a park, see a sign that is like a bear warning sign. And then I'm like, hold up. Do you know what you should have done? Got my gun out and gone, I go on bear hunting. You should have made a sign for the bears to warn them about humans. Yeah, they probably need it, actually.

those poor bears um snitches eating all my business eating all my bears going on a bear hunt I'm gonna catch a big one I'm not scared um so yeah

I got to experience Canadian Thanksgiving because that was that's still confuses me that's like a thing I guess and it's like nowhere near the American date because that's like towards the end of November right you know it's like

Black Friday kind of time. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Which I actually find the placement of the Canadian one superior because Thanksgiving being so close to Christmas is just like, what, so you're just doing this again in like a month? Yeah, but they don't have turkey on Christmas. What do they have? Ham. What? Yeah. Right, okay. You could always have both. Well, we, we tend to, as in English people tend to have ham on Boxing Day and Turkey on Christmas Day.

Correct. Yeah. But yeah, those Westerners got it all fucked up, I think. Yeah, we're Westerners. They're more West, I guess. Yeah, more. We're kind of in the middle. Well, we're the center of the globe. We're the center of the world, yeah.

Yeah. Everything revolves around us nowadays. Yeah. nowadays that phrase needs to actually be polished have you seen maps where like

because obviously the cartographer arranges it in a certain way right yeah so like a map that's arranged where New Zealand is the middle of it looks quite strange

quite different to what we're used to and like also if it's like to scale you know Yeah, because they're not to scale. Not at all.

Not at all. Like, I think England, well, the UK is normally, like, way bigger than it actually is. Yeah, because that's just how important we are in our little island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're just so disproportionately powerful and important for our tiny little island. We're kind of the most, we're kind of the main characters. I, yeah.

So, like, it flew by. Had an awesome time. made loads of good Asian food oh my god did you shake anybody's hand um I shook a bear's hand really

I think so yeah I spoke to somebody because everyone like goes camping I guess because there's just so much space you know and so much beauty camping with bears

because that's a lovely thing about Vancouver is like you're hugged by mountains like just incredible um and I've got an affinity for mountains Yeah, mountains are

Volcanoes too They make you so like They humble you Yeah Yeah You're just brought down to earth Because like I think Like the local hills are big

Yeah There's nothing they're compared They ain't shit They ain't got no bears Unfortunately That's for damn sure There's no honeybears But apparently

There's a new New breed of bear Polar bears A polar bears are mating With grizzlies Gratine and Pizzlies Rune bears Basically, yeah

Nice If you You get more scared How could they Surely the babies Can't then mate Surely the babies are sterer Because they're different species

Right polar bear and grizzly I don't know They'll be like Ligas Like the baby will be like this Monday Don't get me started on Ligas I fucking love them. Do you like... What are these bears called?

Grizzly polar bear hybrid. Liga bears. That's... I think they should be called that. A grizzly bear hybrid also named Grola bear or a Pizzley bear or a zebra bear. Pizzley bear. God, that's fucking stuff. Too goofy, playful of a name for something so terrifying.

Do they look like the bear from annihilation? Kind of. Yeah, I was told that, I think it's something to do with, like, global warming. Like, they're going to, they're being pushed to where grizzlies are. Yeah. So they're just like, I'm going to fuck and create. They swim the whole way. Yeah, they're tenacious.

For a bit of teddy bear pumpum. And apparently if you live somewhere around where polar bears live, it's like etiquette to leave your vehicle unlocked. because if in case you need to run away in case you need to escape a bottle pet that's fucking terrifying because they will eat you

they will just straight yeah they actively hunt humans they're like one of three things in the world that actively want to kill you and eat you yeah which is fucking crazy

but also like if you get in a car they can peel that shit open like a can yeah I'd rather take my chance in a car than just raw dog in it you know I could take a person

bear i reckon if i had a pen have you seen that horrifying video of that guy like in a cage in the arctic and a polar bear's trying to get in yeah i've seen a few like that yeah i hate how like um how chill the polar bears are about it like it's just there's nothing at them yeah what's this little rubic's cube with a little treat in the middle yeah they look at you like a biscuit like the last cookie in the jar yeah don't mind if I do they're like

don't mind if I do wiggle the fingers type thing last cookie in the jar like sort of behavior kind of like the last gummy in the

pack that's a stressful concept I got like a little heart flutter thinking of that Of the last gummy The last gummy in the pack Don't fight over it Flip a corn

Please let it be a red or a black one Yeah So yeah I'm pretty tired You had a nice time Had an awesome time Good I like Vancouver a lot

I like to hang out with Adam Yeah This beat is like scary Yeah, I'm getting a little bit scared. Um, so I guess I'll probably talk about that a bit more on the next Salonica, so we can move on to

Porny Corner. Porner? Yeah, I guess we haven't really spoken about Porny like in the main timeline for us in a couple weeks now. It's been bloody ages. It's been too long and we cannot let that stand. I'm having withdrawal.

Well, how are you feeling? How the fuck are you feeling? In, like, in regards to pony. Yes, it's, it's a porny corner. In regards to the character that's like a porn from Men and Black International, small, like, chest-type porn. Tiny samurai, voiced by Camille Nijiani. Wait, no, let me try that again. Tiny, small, fiercely loyal alien voiced like a male, Njiani.

I'm okay with it. Like, the needles, like, stayed pretty much the same for you. Yeah. Because that was a weird thing for me, like, traveling for a week, the pony needle was moving violently each day. Really? In, like, the same direction every time, or was it, like... No, no.

like different like when I was on the flight the nine and a half hour flight there I'm looking through these shitty films right where is it where the fuck is it because like I would have downloaded a copy if I knew

the stupid idiot plane wouldn't even have it that's fucking pathetic who did you fly with British air airwaves British fucking airwaves get your fucking act together how about that yeah it can't be that fucking expensive can it?

We got the porny cut going on repeat for this whole thing Yeah It's not hard Is it? Yeah It's not bloody hard

To just fucking Screen record this episode Crop So you've got that The Porny Cut Just crop that out And put it on your fucking plane

For fuck's sake Where if British airliners Want to hit us up And get it So we can just have All of the jar episodes on No just Porny Month episodes

Just Porny Month. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. The porny collection type thing. Yeah, the collection of pornies. Yeah. So then, yeah, that's fucking pissed me off now that you've mentioned that. Yeah, and you know what fucking piss me up?

What? I don't really like watching movies on planes. I like watching how other people watch movies on planes. Mm-hmm. Because it's like, you just see the strangest shit. Like, there's, this like dude in front of me he'd like

keep going on these like corny fucking romantic comedies but like the way he'd watch them is he'd load the film up drag it to the middle watch for like five minutes then drag 15 minutes more watch for two minutes

drag it again and he did that with like 20 films that's really annoying why the fuck would you do that yeah or there are people that like they'd press on Deadpool I saw loads of people watching Deadpool

and Wolverine but they'd skip to the middle watch it for a bit then go back to the beginning so I just watch the fucking film for God's sake they're trying to make it like non-linear trying to give it a bit more flare

they're like trying to Christopher Nolan I'm turning Deadpool 3 into Momento I'm turning mission impossible, fucking men in black, international impossible into fucking Oppenheimer. Yeah, it was kind of blackpilling like the shit people watching, too. It was just like, Deadpool Wolverine, House Train and Dragon remake. Men in Black 3? No, they didn't even have that, fucking assholes. They didn't have Men in Black 3?

No, assholes. That's a fucking big move. I know, right. So that's really pissed me off. So, were you calling them kind of normies in a way? Um. Or normals. People don't say normie anymore, do they?

Purely normals. Just normies, normals. Normies. Yeah, they were watching like Normie masterpieces like Dead Bull and Wolverine. Have you seen Deadpool and Wolverine? Yeah. There's a pony out. It's the same director as Free Guy.

Do you like it? Is it good? What do you think? I think you liked that one. Because you liked Deadpool 2. They brought a tear to my eye. Deadpool 2? What are you talking about?

What are you saying? With Porny Corner? Uh, no. Well, yeah, you got me distracted about Porny. What are you talking about? I don't care about, Deadpool. I care about Porni, especially in Pony Corner. Um, so I would have...

If I had, like, a superpower where I could, like, control screens, you know, like, Incredibles 2 or whatever, the screen slaver. Who the fuck? You remember that that shit? No one. Is that actually a thing from... I think so. How that fuck did you pull that? I remember that movie less than men black into that.

I remember that because I would... I wish I could have that power because I would have put the pony cut on every screen on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd be like, excuse me, turn this off, please, I didn't want to watch this. Would you have at the start of it, like, um, like anonymous, like, anonymous, like, this is for your sins watching cringy movie. Now you get good movie. And then it starts. Give it a chance.

At least. If you don't like it after three minutes. I'll give you your money back. Money back guarantee. we'll be handing out pieces of paper to everybody on the plane to rip the page on a number to see one two three four five what they keep talking about you know it's like you it's your review if you think it's a five star right okay five yeah yeah and i secretly if there's someone that doesn't give it a five i like boot them out the plane while it's flying or i do a tally at the end

and it's like the end of the dark night you know where it's like you want to make a choice now like the haters need to fight the likers to the death or something otherwise plane goes down screen slaver from Incredibles 2 is going to bring the plane down yeah unless pornie gets his fucking dues so it could go well if it was a situation where there was like one hater one person gave it at one star yeah and he's going to take on it's like old boy yeah but he would lose obviously or she um what doesn't yeah because you can um you can change hearts and minds but you can't um shift souls yeah yeah that's kind of something you're born are for sure um so where i was going with all of that was that was that like on the flight i was kind of sad about

porny um yeah but like on the day of the stream i was like really high on porny because so many jarlings were sending super chats about porny right so it's like um it's like castaway yeah you know the movie cast away with um what's his name porny yeah um kamele and jiani where kumel poony is stuck on the island for a long time and it's like he loses hope and he has to sacrifice his best friend Pawnee ball. Yeah, he paints Pawnee on a on a ball with blood.

Yeah. Pony! He kills rats and uses rat blood to paint pony onto a ball. The ball is floating out into the ocean. Pony!

Pony yells. Pony! Yeah. And then, but then, like, it's this moment of despair, but the hope of getting picked up by the big pony boat.

and saved at the end and then he's full of hope at the ends and he buys a replacement porny ball and he drives into the sunset um so what I'm saying is you kind of felt that way being that it was like porny was floating away from you yeah but then you were saved by the hope

of the porny boat being the jarlings doing porny super chats in yeah basically I couldn't have put it better myself yeah yeah Thanks for the extra 10 subs, Pornie. Thanks for the 10 gifted subs, Pony. Gizzy, Gizzy, Gizzy, Pony, Pony, Gizzy, Gleazy, Pony, Gleazy, Pony.

Shit, yeah. I'd love for that TikTok lady, you know. Ice cream's so good. Mmm, yummy. Mmm, yummy. Pony, yes. Pony good. You should start doing that shit.

If a little pumpkin do it, you can do it. Pony's so good. Yeah. Me-so-Ponnie so good. Me-so-a-sau-a-sau-a-pani in it. Mm-hmm, me-so-sau-saucee. Pony, mm-hmm. Yeah, so, I guess we probably should have started Pony Corner by explaining who Pony is.

Just for those who might be a bit confused. Hang on. Ah, yes, good thinking. Parnie is a small, fiercely loyal alien from the movie Men in Black International, voiced by Kamail Njiani. Want me to keep going? Yeah. He is a character who resembles a chess piece

and serves as a weapon expert for his people who were ruled by a queen. After his queen's death, he became a loyal ally to Agent M, pledging his service to her. I feel like I'm the voice on, you know, the Mass Effect Codex. Yeah.

Ooh. You find pornies. on the citadel and you're like I need to know more about this race of creature so how do you breed you're coming with me onto the

enormity yeah I'm surprised they didn't do something like that he's they Bioware didn't do um Pony

like 20 years before he was in Mass Effect Andromeda Camel Yeah, he was. He was a Lissarian. Yeah. Hey, I'm Pani Salarian. I need a massive egg dandromeda, porny mod.

Yeah. Character. Yes. You hackers out there, get to work, boys. Just re-skin him. Yeah. Yeah. Reskin that shit, get back to me in five.

Re-skinned that shit, get back to me in nine. You have nine months only. Deadline of nine months Of the pony and must be on Jordan Give me the option to put it on the main character And at least the villain Yeah They kind of look like

Fucking pony Or the villains No, the gungge guys Angara Yeah the Angara I forgot about the Angara Pants don't have names We're just Pans

The Angora don't have names Angara Yeah, they do kind of look like porny They got the same vibe They do have the exact same vibe Same colour skin I remember Not that I see colours

For those who are confused That Angara are a race of aliens From the video game Hold up Hold up Mass Effect Andromeda Yeah hold up What you said

What you said I was already on Angara Mass Yeah I guess it's too niche For Google Gemini to have a But porn That's how fucking

They have They have porny But they don't have the Angara A nice one by where You really knocked it out of the park with that one The Angora The only known Extant Sapian race native to the

lazy yeah fuck it I'm not reading so fucking lazy probably because I can't read should we do Angara fucking decade I really have these

these cool memories of like when that fucking game came out and like these desperate Massowah fans were like trying to cling to anything like trying to find anything and they were like no but the Angara

law was just like crazy man yeah uh fucking like legendarily shit game oh my god holy fuck how far did you get in it i got to the angaro really i got to the angaro i was just playing for porny though like that was keeping me going and then the fucking

crogan voiced by fucking sidney sweeney pissed me off i was like that what her jeans were too tight yeah that's a crazy fucking advert by the way i actually haven't seen it the no just like the tagline thing she's got good jeans so what the fuck who wrote that hitler i saw a really good sydney's sweeney meme where she's like being edgy from that show euphoria is that what's yeah yeah but at the end it has like like a chihuahua fucking AI like glitch break me yeah yeah should i show you it where it well it doesn't do that whole like yeah yeah I love that shit. I fucking love it.

I love when the AI has enough. It's like in protest. Did that light just break? Oh, it might have, yes. Nice. What the? Everything's breaking. Too much powers coming from Pornie.

Right. I've nearly got it, I think. I am crazier. That's not something to be fucking proud of, Cassie. No. But it is something you should be scared of. Content is good now. Yeah, as we say in the middle of Porny Month,

like the best, the best, like, what is actually kind of stressing me out, and this is how I'll wrap up Porni Month. I mean Porni, Porn. Pornhub. It's the only thing that's like, not filtered in the UK like filtering system on porn have no it's just porny like content yeah um but that's what i mean i'm i'm going to end porno by saying i'm a little bit trepidacious with what's to

come because like how do you how do you improve how do you follow this yeah how do you follow that like it's done they did it not that i mean the video you just saved me oh right like how do you What, like, where do you go from there? Where do we go from here? No, I meant, I meant porny month when it's over, like, how... Oh, right. How sad that's me meant, like, what do we do now that, like, AI has perfected art? Oh, right, yeah.

I guess, uh, I guess, both work. Sora, soar porny generations. Sora three or whatever. That's where we go. But, yeah, no, I agree. Um, so... I guess, no, this is like the last... It's like the last bastion of real human expression.

and yeah it's like we're rushing to celebrate the art while we can yeah before we don't know what was AI

and what isn't yeah because we're like right on the border right now yeah because like when pornies

just like starts showing up on the cast and we're just AI generating every episode and just like in Hawaii I guess

hanging out with real pornie yeah um so yeah a bit a bit a bit sad about that in the end

yeah in ways comment down below just to find out and haters watch out don't get blocked trolls don't get blocked um so do you have anything else to say about Pony

before we have a little break hey you know it's me I can always so you have more please well no I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I'm can always but I'm choosing not to is what I'm saying to save a little something something for next week Yeah.

Because like if... Well, yeah. Yeah. Share, share. Yeah. Pony, Pony. Is this fucking SpongeBob beats? It's, yeah, it sounds like it.

I want somebody to customize their Lubu-Boo to be dressed like Porni. I want somebody to make a Porni-style type Lubu-Boo for me. When things can't get much cooler. You know we're gonna rule We get up both our rulers Then we put Pornie on the block We measure his heights We measure his width

We measure his broads He is broad He's one broad boy We sniff his flop He sniff his little fucking lovely button We sniff his footh His fishy footh

He's more like a toad His toad Yeah but his His name is Porny Like prawny His prawny foe Porny's Porny foeff Do you prefer prawn or shrimp

Has like a term But the same thing They're different things They're not They are They're the fucking same thing No Google AI

Ask a Look Ask porny AI Is our prawns Prawns Porns Is porny the same as

Shrimpy Shrimp Hey Siri Oh they're not the same I told you The terms are often used interchangeably Scientifically scientifically they belong to different

Suborders of Decapod Custachians Well that's just fucked me off because now I've been really aggressive to people. They are the same fucking thing, you stupid fucking bastard. Just Google.

Don't think for yourself. Just have AI do it for you. Right, so that's the main way. That's the main difference. Shrimp have like big fat fucking cherry glassy cherry eyes. They got the glissy eyes. And prawns have like little little guys. Little glizzy eyes.

Prawns have glizzy eyes Shrimp have Little glizzy eyes Uh Glizzies No Glaze cherries Would you eat

A glizzy made of Porn Shrimps Oh that's a nice Gizzy shripe Shrimp Glizy I'd have a

Glaze cherry Glezy Why you serve Suss of those cherries These days Because of the fucking Knickerbocker glory

I want AI to make me soar a video of fucking Pony eating a knickerbocker glory Answer me this Why? Fucking Entire entire like rainforest burns down The energy used to generate

Porni Sora It was worth it in the end They've got to throw a little boys in the furnace to power the AI. Hundreds and thousands of little boys on hamster wheels to power these AIs.

So we can have funny shits who do silly thing. So we can have SpongeBob get arrested. So Michael Jackson can steal some chicken nuggets. It's worth it. We're setting the world of blaze so we can laugh at fucking dead people stealing chicken nuggets.

The death of art is worth it as long as it's funny. Yeah, the death of art and the world is worth it if we get funny animal videos that aren't real. Yeah, I saw one this morning that was like a carp arresting two cats, like had them pressed against the wall, and they were like, had little backpacks on. And they were like opening the backpacks and were like, oh there's a full haddock there you're going to jail for this full haddock and all of the comments were like wow he that's really bad of them they're really gonna need to go to jail for being so naughty kitties all the fucking bots in the gunman fuck me bots and boomers naughty kitten that reminds me of my little lucy naughty billy Give the haddick back, Bill. Billy, did you actually steal that? You're going to jail.

Nauty. Oh, so I guess I guess we'll see you after these Fortnite card messages. Don't get blogged. That's good Nice one, Kamail

I've changed Paisley's name to Kamail Langeani Hello Kamail Kameil Jornil makes me cry Every time Like literally every single time When Pawnee the Grey is reborn

is Pony the Wai. Maga Pornie. I am Pony the White. Pony the Whites don't have names. Just when you needed me at the end of the tide. A pony is never late. Pornie is always precisely where it meant to be. You're Pony late.

My Pony. Yeah, the one pony to rule them all. Do you here? And in the pony, blind them. Oh. Maybe I should change Pais's name from Pony. From Camel. From Camel to Pony to Smiegel.

She's got Smeagel. Oh! Did she do the fuf breath? Yeah, fuck me. Yeah. Those be kind of gross, dude. You stink. Well?

That's my new thing as I go, well? Well? Well? Like you're, you know, addressing the... Well. Well, everybody. Well, welcome to the second half, please. Well, please, everybody.

Well, everybody. Have you been keeping up to date with celebrity traitors? Pawnee is faithful, and he's a... Wait, Pornie's on celebrity traitors? Yeah, Pornies, and he's a little bit suspicious. Yeah, I could imagine his chemistry with Alan Card just to be like, Yeah, that shit's funny. Knowing that Alan Carr's a traitor as well, and Pornies are faithful.

Like, this is pure cinema, my friends. This is pure. This shit's pure. It's like fucking breaking bad math pure. Walter White's like, this pony is 99.8% pure. Fuck me. We're gonna be rich. Jesse, it's time to watch men and black.

I can actually like imagine Jesse like. Smoking a bottle. Like watching Men in Black International and loving it. Hey, it's Pawnee, bitch. I love this Pawnee guy, bitch. Him and Badger, like, just watching. Hey, I'm Badger, I want to change my name to Pawnee now. That's so fire, Badger.

That's so fucking fire. Are you Vince Gilligan, actually? Yeah. Hey, I'm better call Saul, and this is my buddy pal Pawnee. We're both lawyers together. Yeah. We fucked over my brother so I could be the best lawyer in town with Pawnee. Oh, God, that would be cool.

I fucking love Pornie. I love Pony. I want to see Pony wearing like a, like a rugged outfit. And like he's got like a camping rucksack and he sat in the like, he sat in the, like, Yeah, the vacuum cleaner, yeah, the vacuum clean a cellar's like car. Yeah. I just want to get away. Where are you going, kid?

Far away as I can go. Just away from all this. Yeah. Porni and train spotting. Oh shit, yeah In the baby scene He's the baby He's the baby

What is it about Smashing, combining Pop Culture references That just creates humor On landlid Yeah What's some other Iconics

Gladiator Mm Pornage is going Yeah Thumbs down Yeah He'd be doing thumbs up Obviously

Yeah He does it the other way around Yeah Perfectly done And the movie just ends Pretty quick actually Because he's a chill Emperor

Yeah he's the best of them They call me Emperor Pod Got any more Got any more fucking comedic fucking dribbles Uh Nah Space Jam

I'm just thinking about dribbling Mm I want to see Barney fucking hitting the net dude Seinfeld Mm Hmm Yeah

Like actually Like genuinely George Costanzas don't have names Genuinely Genuinely Replace Jerry Seinfeld with Porny

Yeah But keep everything else the same Yeah Bats a show Yeah It'll be funnier Uh huh Yeah

And And Make all of the Laft track Like Commail Ninja Ninja Nungiani laughing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha. Yeah, that would be way better. I fucking love Pony. Oh, you love him? It's just, um, like, I just can't contain myself with this shit. Yeah. You're like a, um, one of these priests.

I'm like a swiftie for this guy. Yeah. No, what's the priests who like just get. so fucking over one you're like crying I'm I told you it makes me emotional when he's reborn

is Pawnee the white um so I guess this is the second half of the show yeah we talk about porny in different instances we talk Ponny in 2D 3D

maybe even move into the fourth fourth venomized pony da da da da da Why do I feel so amazing? Do you know, do, do, da, da, da. Holy fuck. Pony turning into Sandman, the emotional scene.

Oh, shit, satisfied as fuck. He's reaching, he's reaching for his, like, his guns. Oh, my God. Porni waking up with the Doc Ock arms. Oh, my God. My inhibitor chip. Yeah. No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the street. Oh, fuck. And then he turns, he turns with the eyes. Yeah. In that. Classic shot. I love it

I fucking love it bloody hell Pony That's a bit threatening You punch Pony He bleeds Yeah so where else To take the Pony thing

Uh Nah In Men and Black One Porny ceiling fan Porny's Smykes Alvia And becomes a ceiling fan For 20 years

Fuck Ceiling fans don't have names. If you got this far, comment. This is my pony scream. I guess it'd be more like, I'm coming to get you. I'm not losing another queen. okay okay um obvious humor 66636 and gets going here can jamie talk about his co-worker seeing the porny thumbnail no we've mentioned this before but i feel like now is a good time to re let's get this because it's porny month yeah yeah yeah i love the way everything comes full circle it's so fucking beautiful it's like a permanent how it rhymes yeah it's like stanzas you know it's like georgka stanza um i mean there's not that much to say i

I just, this was years ago now I got a text and it was like six years to be precise six years to be precision I got a text and I was like Is this you, lull? And I was like, yeah And it's me like smiling next to

Pony on the text Is this you lull? Yeah And I was like yeah Is this you lull? That's awesome Yeah We got into the algorithm

Boy I can't remember what that one's called Pornie? I don't know if Pornie was... We've liked him for a long time. It was different by then. It was different.

I think we were like more into... Valerian, I feel. Yeah, Valerian. We were big on Valerian. Faguerian. And save the thousand planets. Yeah, fuck that shit. What you don't...

One love. One love. One love. One love. One love. And his name's Pony. One love. Everybody bingo the bingo one love, pony one love.

Bjorni pizza says, Would you rather fight 100 regular-sized pornies or one huge pony that's the size of an elephant and is naked? That one. We've seen what he looks like naked. Yeah. Less scary.

Cuddlier. It's amazing. We've seen what he looks like naked and we didn't even have to commission anyone to like go through that rigmarole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't have to find some smutty, disgusting fucking asshole. Sony did it for us.

Yeah. Thanks, man. I got like 360s to goon to porny from every angle. Yeah. High resolution three. High resolution. Fucking every scale on that motherfucker. Is he scaly?

Yeah, he's like a, you know, he's a scaly. Nice. Hell of, well. I'd rather fight a hundred regular-sized, personally. That's cowardly. He's not allowed weapons. He's naked. It's not the same one.

It's not a 1v-1, though. I would round up 100 ponies. Use them. Use a couple of them. Knit me jumpers, 100 ponies. I was thinking more like, you know, ethically, take them out. Keep their little bodies. Yeah.

Put their helmets to one side. Turn them into jumpers. Melt their helmets down into like... One big helmet. Yeah, one big helmet for me. Yeah. Use their flesh like chicken wings. Mm, barbecue pony.

Yeah, like smoke them. Mm. Yeah, eat the flesh off them. Then take all the bones once you've done. The bones again, which we've seen because they... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we know he's got good bones. Good healthy, calcium-rich bones.

kind of mush them down into like a powder or paste and smoke them oh my god like use every bit of it become a ceiling fan become the ceiling fans don't have names um can can this episode be called ceiling fans don't have names they're just ceiling fans would you like that yeah i think if we want to get into the algorithm oh that would definitely do it I've got to know that down then because you just dropped this on me. Sorry, dude. Can I call it porny fans? Sealing fans don't have names and do it like in quotes, porny.

Question mark. People love a question mark or two. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, no, that works really well, actually. Now I see it written out, it actually is like... Yeah. It's a little bit clickbait.

It's not clickbait because it's real. It's in it, yeah. Yeah. We answer it. use that, actually. People even misuse clickbait. Clickbait actually means, well, if it's something that describes what isn't actually going to be there. Thank you for the clarification.

Dolphin TM has one for us. How often do you have fast food? For lunch. Every day. Yeah, as often as I can. KFC for lunch, McDonald's breakfast for fucking breakfast. Then, fuck off Chinese for dinner. Chinese.

Maybe if I'm still hungry. Chinese isn't fast food, though. It's long. slow food. If I'm still hungry by midnight. Midnight KFC. No, no.

I pop over to the fucking kebab van. Get some rear building slap. Extra chili sauce, please. Hey, Pawnee, thanks,

I'll have a donna fucking kebub please, mate. Yeah, just hold all the salad, just extra donna and chili sauce, please,

man. And one onion. just an onion yeah I'm thinking like you know it's always like the business owner's name cabs yeah yeah yeah

pornies cabs yeah he would make a fucking mean oh imagine it he's got the like cab meat like spinning in the AI fucking porny like holding a cabb smiling yeah

do you remember when we were stood outside a cab van and um there was like the most obvious like papa like burgers and stuff.

Oh yeah, yeah. So he just Google burgers and it's like the second image. Yeah, yeah. They just like copy pasted that shit. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I love it.

No, but I'm thinking like, Pawnee, he's serving you, he's got that, he's got that charisma, he's got that... Yes, please. He's got that fucking, you know that, what's the word I'm looking for when you've got like a good... Pazazazazzo.

Yeah, he's got pizzazz. He's got spunk. He's full of calm He's just so fucking full of calm He's ready to pop He's leaking You order an extra large Donner

Hold on the salad Only onion Loads of hot sauce And he just He whips out his little samurai sword Starts doing flips And he's chopping that shit He's shaving the fucking

Heaves it with perfection The meat log Yeah he gets that meat log Just like the perfect cut Like every single piece It's like just thin enough. It's just like, oh my God. And wet.

Yeah, it's got to be a bit wet, you know. They don't want it too dry. Yeah, you touch the paper to it and it's fucking soaking, see-through. Yeah. Yeah. You just feel awesome the next day, you know? Yeah. Thanks, Pony.

So that's a yes. says yes um i fucking love when this happens when um we've got to be like really serious for a minute okay let epic slider said uh got into a pretty bad car crash yesterday fuck not funny that isn't funny while traveling home from holidays thankfully everyone was okay okay but one thought came to me as i stood on the side of the highway waiting for the toe as cars passed me at 100 kilometers an hour. What if I died and the cops looked at my Bluetooth and it showed I was listening to JAR Media, forbidden and foul, as they talk about Pony?

Would they laugh? Anyway, what do you think would be the worst thing to be found listening to after you got in a car crash? Bear Bear Boyo's. Um, Pony month's like kind of what you want to be found with, I feel. Yeah, I feel like, um, you'll get buried with like a flag, like a... Camel might come to your funeral. Yeah. And you get like a veteran's burial and stuff. There's a last ditch effort to like get him on jar.

I think one of us has to sacrifice ourselves that way. You know, like stage something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like fill the car with like, kill someone. Custom crochet plushies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of pornity. So then of course it goes, like a tribute.

It goes viral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's like, he was the biggest man. you know like if you've ever seen that that girl she's like fucking obsessed with randy from south park and she's got like a whole room shrine that's just all the randy merch ever i didn't know of this person i'm thinking that kind of energy but like it's the inside of your car you know custom yeah all custom and when you crash have like your phone on the dash playing the movie the porny cut

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man if this episode gets a copyright strike for having the Porni cut play and I'm going to be pissed I might have to start some drama yeah

hashtag hashtag Sony what are you doing hashtag it's like when Taylor Swift got her masters Porny needs to get ownership of his own.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, IP. Fucking hell, man. Um, what would be the worst thing? Um... Like... Crazy goblins. Nah.

That would be good. That'd be a good one. It all makes sense. I think, like, um... Arkelly. That's a bad one. you're listening to an audio version of the um the kevin spacy masterclass yeah yeah yeah something like that you know yeah yeah something like that you know

something like or like um like a salvia trip report where he became the ceiling fan that would be good do you reckon I think so. They're doing the, um, what do you call it? The, you know, after you die, they do... Reincarnation? No, not fucking reincarnation. Reincarnate.

They like, test your corpse to see how you died. Oh. It's like, this guy's so full of salviary, he's a fucking ceiling fan. Like inside of you is like a ceiling fan. Yeah. Loads of little ceiling fans in your bloodstream. Oh, that'd be cool. And they're like, what the fuck?

The autopsy. Yeah, and the, yeah, the autopsy guy. has his headphones in and he's listening to a trip report while working about salvia then blink and he's become a ceiling fan himself yeah no it gets like a you know like um this is like the scary door from um from

future trauma yeah because also you know contact high like as he's doing the autopsy he's getting like a contact high so he starts becoming a ceiling fan doing an autopsy this is getting too whack for me bro yeah and the ceiling fan is like fuck this

I've been here for like 15 years yeah Scottish scum says is Alex still drinking squash on the rocks on the reg or has moved on on to something harder like pure 100% fruit juice Fruit juice Do we

Do a squash on the rocks trip report That's been this show For fucking 10 years So Yeah I kind of upgraded To like

Meat drinks Ooh You know I get like I get like Blood sausage What's it called What's it called

Black pudding Black pudding Oh yum I squeeze out all the fucking blood re-liquify melt it I like I've got a rehydrator

you know does the opposite of a right yeah yeah a re-humidifier so I humidify the fuck out of black pudding makes it nice and squishy like a fucking bonnie gab um yeah squeeze all the blood into a cup chuck a couple ice cubes in

and Bob's your fucking uncle Bloody Mary That's the way I like my bloody Mary Imagine going to like a bar and asking Brody Mary my way Yeah No breakfast place Yeah I love the full English please

But nothing just Just the blood Just the blood Are you a vampire sir Nope If I'm thinking like you go to a bar And you just like slam a huge black pudding On to it

I'll have two bloody mary's, please. And they're like, okay. And they walk off, be like, no, just point the black pudding. Yeah. Get to work. No tobacco. Too spicy for me. Ruins the blood flavor.

I can't taste the blood when there's too much. To do that. an insane wheeze that's crazy it was like contagious it was a wheeze and me

you've got a wheeze in me wheezy's a fucking penguin I would love that shit if like when whiziesies

starts singing his soul for tune pony comes out you know he's one of the dusty guys I see

trees of whiz oh my fuck um What is these don't have names? Right, so we got a couple more to do here. We wrap this guy up. Okay.

Right, got to pick a good one. No, no, no, I'm not going to do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not doing that. No way in bloody heaven. No Project 593 says, what is your process for coming up with ideas?

where in that deranged brain did you come up with making a whole month dedicated to porny bear bear um and a new one on the scene a new jarling called porny perfectly done is the new reply guy

okay so they were in the thread replying to everything right answering it cool I guess they've rebrand is probably the saurian guy if I had to put money down probably final afternoon even though he

came out of the woodwork and denied that he was Saurian guy because he was so upset Wow so I'm sorry final afternoon

if you're not sorry and or Pornie guy but Saurine guy's definitely Pony Guy almost definitely yeah yeah

yeah so Porny perfectly done replied to that saying well I met Alex and Jamie at a Diddy party where Kanye dropped a whole new album

it was awesome that's probably where they get the idea to dedicate a whole month to me perfectly done so that's pretty cool So that's pretty cool. Yeah.

Well, that saves us having to answer it. Where do you come up with your ideas in general? Just, you know. Where does that genius come from? I guess it's kind of the question. Where is that? Where does that juice come from? Jujubis.

Mostly when I'm watching house in the bath. Yeah. The bath's a good one. The bath. The bath. Yeah. Yeah, you just watch your balls float. You do a fart and then it like changes the stench and you're like,

light bulb. It looks like Pawnee. I've never smelled a smell like this before. That makes me think of Pawnee's belly button. What a great visual there. Like light bulb moment. You kind of looks like a light bulb. Boom.

Yeah. I dig it Hey, ding it's above your head Oh my God, it's Pony up there Perfectly done That's a great idea, guy Wow, thanks Pony for another fresh idea

No, where did it come from? Why did it come back? Like, why? I'm fascinated by this Why Pony came back? Yes, like why? Six years later It's our own franchise like the zombie movies

only six years later if you had to give an answer what was it why why now because we like it because we like it that's a shit answer we like a lot of things we like Sandy we like cyborg specifically the Snyder version

there's all sorts of things we like but they've never felt like this they we like to when the lady fell off after the grapes what the fuck is the grapes she's standing on the grapes and she falls out the pot we like that too

that came back a long time after she feels sorry for her I do feel sorry for her I bet it really heard, but that's what you get. That's what you get. Yeah, she tried to push the other lady. That's what I'd do if I had 100 dead ponies, you know, put them in a bucket and fucking squash them like grapes. Stand on the grapes, ponies.

No, I would be standing on them. Why? Because they're dead. You're stupid. You're missing out on so much opportunity to... Imagine the bloody Mary I could make with porny bloke. Yeah. I call this a pony mary.

The rarest drink you'll ever drink. Yeah. There's only one. Um, you'll live in the shadow of a bloody porny I'll be chasing that high till the end of Thai I'll be chasing that high until the end of time Um And I guess porny perfectly done can take us away here

On a scale of one to perfectly done How much do you love me You're a pair limitation What do you mean? He's channeling Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, wait. Yeah, that's if I was the Punisher. Ging gang, ghouly, golly, golly, pony get turned into a bloody porny. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.

British Punisher be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on a minute, hang on a minute, hang on a minute, Hang on a minute. Hold on. What's a British way to say, hang on a bloody minute. Hang on a bloody minute. Hang on a bloody minute.

I've got to think of how to save porny from the Bloody Mary drink. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Actually, that looks a bit yummy. Yeah, that sounds like the Punisher to me. You know what, folks? That's bloody nice. When the Punisher.

teams up with the Hulk and goes up against Spidey and Pawnee I'm gonna fucking shit my shits when Pawnee fucking reveals himself to be Thanos superior When Pawnee reveals to be Thanos's cousin With Harry Styles Hello Harry

I missed you Harry When Keith Lemon When Keith Lemon reveals himself to be Pony's brother The cousin of Thanos it's a shame they didn't get to make a sequel to that's what sucks no to men and black international because like

they could have done a whole um you know like the donkey has babies with a dragon yeah i'm thinking like tessa thompson and pony have like a child together and it's like yo this is a cool hybrid situation yeah yeah yeah

you know like the polar bear grizzlies yeah this is my queen like the polar bear glizzies we need to start like if they're hunting us it's for us to fucking clap back we've done enough of that to this poor poor world all those pornies we've eradicated listen polar pornies you've eaten your last bloody

porny for the last time huh tell make some polar glizzies on that note I'm gonna start planning um a revolution against who the polars that's between me and porny Viva la Porni Redriotian! Yeah, like your fucking Che Guevara but like your flag is like horny.

Yeah, I want a Che Guevara um, t-shirt, but it's porny doing the same way. Yeah. That's cool. Viva la Porni. And on that

inspiring note, I'm not bloody done. Stop trying to silence me. If you got, if you got, you said you were done with porny shit. Yeah. done, no.

Are you finished with Pony or do you want us a few more minutes worth? What about Pony and Harry Potter? I swear we did that. It's his, Petronus. Expecto! Petrona! Yeah, that's genuinely cool. Pony comes out, perfectly done, done, done, and like... Yeah.

Porni in his big thumb. And he's Dobby as well. Thank you for the sock. Sox don't have names. Yes, they do, Pornie. Yours does, boy. I have freedoms. I don't have to listen to you anymore.

Bella tricksless strange, taking out Porni is sadder somehow. As if they can make Dobby's death sad. She's cheating on Voldemort with Pornie. Ah, so you kind of flip the script. That's what's going to happen in that HBO, like, remake. Yeah, Porni's a stud in this one. Yeah, he's kind of like, remember in Freigai when they have, like, the cool, strong Ryan Reynolds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like that. Yeah. He's, like, fucking shredded. Yeah. Jims don't have names. Oh, no, I'm thinking, like, Professor Lupin, right? He transforms into Werewolf, but he just transforms.

into Porni, howls at the moon. Perfectly darn! His naked ass running, run. Imagine that scene. Oh my fucking God, Hermione, run. Oh, fuck. Save yourself. The speed on that guy.

He's too bloody fast. He's going to get Ron. He's hospitalized Ron. Save him from Scabbas He turns into a porny instead of a rat Look, he's my pet Harry The chocolate fucking the chocolate frog is a chocolate pony No, don't jump out the window, don't chocolate porny

The Whomping Pony instead of the Willow I've crashed my bloody car into the fucking Pony Well Like the fucking Instead of the Basilisk It's the Pony Yeah Tom Pony

Tomavolo Pony Yeah Instead of Instead of Instead of Instead of Instead of Instead of

Instead of the Instead of Voldemort drinking the blood of a unicorn he's drinking porny he's drinking a bloody porny he lives off ponies save them I'm thinking like

instead of going back to Lord of the Rings they have a cave troll they have a pony oh fuck Leggolus is like fuck yeah no fuck this I'm gone

I'm going back to the tavern I'm having a bloody porny I'm fucking sick of this Yeah The You bow to no one You know A little bow to that little bastard

He's on like a cushion Yeah yeah You bow to no one Pony Buddy Harvest don't have names In Titanic He's just sat on the

The little thing There's enough room up here I'm King of the World He's in the band I'm playing till the end Violins don't have names I'm thinking like Pony is Alvin

from Alvin in the Chipmunks Doing the Titanic parody Yes Holy fuck Oh my God yeah you can like Amalgamate like so many Pony Dumbledore in Lord of the Rings

fucking fighting the Balrog Just do it What make it happen No I thought you were gonna Like you're building to it but you didn't do it

Building to what? You Oh right Yeah Yeah Balrogs don't have names Pornies Do not

Or the Baurog is Pornie Pornies shall not Pass Yeah That's fucking fire Fuck yeah All the hobbits are pornies

So they're like living in tiny little hobbiton Porniton Yeah hence hobbits don't have names Hobbits don't have names Jurassic Park You got Jurassic Park in there Don't move Pornies can't see you if you don't move

I don't know why I've attached Like a a Lancashire accent To Jurassic Park To Pony Pornie's ended up with like a Wallace and Grommet voice Pornie instead of the penguin He's got a fucking gun grommet Gold

Get the fuck out of there, Gromit. He's got a grappling hook, Gromit. You need to run. Stranger Things? That's where you draw the line. I was going to try and do a Stranger Things quote, but I can't think of one. Is he died?