JAR Media Posdact - Civilisation 6 Falldown - Jarcast 292

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Time Codes 02:41 - The Rise of AI, The Expansion of Humanity, The Destruction of the Soul 15:05 - Rising Revengence was right all along 29:53 - Reddit Section 30:34 - Alex is Hangman 32:01 - The Beard Many Years ON 45:42 - Can JAR Beat The Rock 49:57 - Things that have improved us 54:55 - Do Jar Cook 59:43 - Mr G and Wall politics Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies PO Box: IHE PO Box 4268 CALNE SN11 7AY Jamie: https://twitter.com/JamieBeltman James: https://twitter.com/PremiumVoy Alex: https://twitter.com/IHE_OFFICIAL https://www.reddit.com/r/JARMEDIA/ FACEBOOK ► https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jar-Me... I HATE EVERYTHING ► https://www.youtube.com/user/IHEOfficial Music ► Epidemic Sound

Good J-afternoon, morning evening on night, ladies and gentlemen. And welcome to this episode of the J-R-Media podcast. Is that really? Is that really your great? See, even without Alex here, we can still think of good. We can come up with new things. We don't even need him. He's the one who's regressing us back.

Yeah, he's like, ooh, bibiddy-bop joy. Ulani Loi. Ulani soy. Cohinga. Yeah, there's only so much you can take with rhymes, man. You've got to think of like good ja afternoon, morning, evening or night. Yeah, no, this is a thing. You have to constantly adapt or evolve in the YouTube space to stay in pristine condition.

And with Alex, it's like, there's his, his humour, his being. It all factors around the same idea. Yeah, Ulani Loy. Who, Poppoi. On the Screamium toy. and stuff um you know what we're done with it no jar's entering a new era and that's the cool era yeah the christmas era merry christmas everyone merry christmas um that's your host james i'm your host james i'm christmasy as always in the green and i've got my white here i've got the

snow the snow of my life i've got my jamie the snow and the christmas tree combine us together and you've got a fucking banging ass christmas yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah, so, um, like, what's up, bro? Bro, you know what? I'm doing really good. How are you doing? I'm okay. You know what's making me even more okay? Is the Jammedia patrons of being such lovely, lovely, joyous, Ulanian, lawyers? They help, they do help support the show. They help the audio version,

which you can find on Spotify, SoundCloud, iTunes, wherever you get your podcasts. And occasionally they do get access to extra videos early. when we are routines allow extra videos to be made which is a jar improvement there's going to be changes gradually to help this

but we always support we love the support and you mean the world to us without you nothing would be possible yeah a man would never have gotten to the moon without the sandy tears that get their names read out

at the beginning of every month how do rockets take off with sandy fuel your son of these charlings like round into a fine paste and chucked in the engine but that's why why haven't we bought like a part of the moon the moon can you do that

yeah I'm pretty sure has anyone bought like yes because if you can buy like parts of the moon now but you can buy parts of earth like you literally can like a house but you can also like go online and be like I'm going to buy a part of Scotland five quid part of Scotland

There are like corners on roads Like a grassy bit Like in a couple towns away That you can buy for like 15 grand Yeah Like you can fit like 10 houses there Probably like 30 houses If you build them right

No bro you think We've got to think Build block of flats Tower block Tower block As high as they come For half a million each Exactly

This is how you make money But what I'm saying is Why not like get ahead of the curve Buy a bit of Jupiter this is the thing get a bit of that lucrative nobody actually has ownership of the moon yet

there's no government on there who's going to stop you from buying the moon if you buy a significant amount the moon but you buy in an area that's going to be high real estate you're going to make

us shits on money and this is we're not talking earth money we're talking moon bucks what's a moon buck to the pound now like we're talking like three of three 400,000

to one moon buck that's how lucrative it's gonna be yeah because you're not gonna get there if a few at 50 pounds of fuel you need a lot money to get to the moon so everything there's gonna be it's like premium exactly so start buying those moon chunks and if you buying them with jar media's code you get to they get combined into like a jar island a giland yeah and then we we become the diktators on the moon we become the dictators of this land and we take the

land by force yeah who would have thought the the biggest threat to modern society would be jar on the moon we could start launching rocks asteroids on the moon no that's the concept from um cooler duty ghosts which is like a real world like actually theorized thing which is just like a metal rod

in orbit and they're just like and they just launch it and then gravity does the rest yeah it's genius yeah and it just speeds up and fucking blows up everything why invest in weapon when you can just take rock launch towards the earth you then create just get like a spork and just launch

ship from space. Exactly. Country. Like, intergalactic warfare is easy. You don't need flying ships. Just fucking walk on planet launch it any direction. Might work.

That's the thing. Yeah. The world we live in is crazy, though. It's fucking mental, boy. It's mental. Whatever happens to the American Space Force. I don't think

that was a... That was a real thing. It was. Donald Trump established the space, was it the fourth arm of the military being the Navy Air Force. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And maybe the Marines. And the UNSC. And then the

Space Force. But like There's like one guy up there who's got like an M4. He's just sat up there waiting for someone patrolling space. We're not at the stage

where we need an enforcement in space. There's nothing, we've got no colonies. What is there to enforce? But do you think that's actually where, like, the future's headed? Do you think every country is going to end up with the space force?

I think, no, no, I don't think so, because realistically, when we're talking about, like, colonising planets and going space travel, it's not down to a nation at that point. And I think if we want to be a space-faring race, we have to be united it is just UNSSC which means we need an oppressive government

yes literally any any type of science fiction where humanity is in space it's all under one banner and it is a dictatorship it's like the only way for it Star Wars, Gundam it's all just it is all like that and I think that's like the generally only way

we can mask the resources to actually have space travel Do you think a dictatorship, like a world order dictatorship, might be a good thing for the human race? If we, like, thinking... That's a heavy question. It is very heavy, but thinking, like, purely pragmatically. Zero emotion, zero, like, thing... Just expansion. Seeing humans as, as, like, a resource, part of the human race.

Like, to push our race as far as they can go. Yes. we need like the most hardline dictatorship ever because if people start rebelling it the empire will crack if some people start trying to break away from your empire of intergalactic planets your empire will crumble so you like a really hardcore dictatorship will be the only way to keep it alive and you see the thing is with this this imaginary dictatorship do you think there will be like any amenities do you think there'd be any nice stuff

like a chocolate bar every now and again or a watch of a couple of episodes of Rick and Morty or See no what you're getting onto is basically the setting of Warhammer Obviously a Warhammer is space 40K is just like

humanity spread across the stars It is one central dictatorship And it's just like Some planets are really awful Because they have to work For the great good of everyone else For their whole lives They have to produce yeah

they like wake up work sleep wake up work sleep then other worlds have to they're like luxury worlds where the fortunate get to live in more of a luxury thing and that's like that's what it would be in a realistic way

thinking about it now isn't that kind of like where we're at yeah just on a smaller scale yeah that's just the the differences between those of the bottom and the top are not as big as but in like space in

in space travel like it would That's just the way it'd have to be. Because if you have a planet with a lot of minerals, you need a lot of workers to get the maximum amount of... But that's when the, like, rhino drone stuff that we've been talking about for a while, that's where that comes into it. But how would the Wino, the sleeping people in the Winoes, work?

Like, how would you have a production? No, I'm talking about, like, automation, like, the parkour, Boston Dynamics, robots. So you're saying, so in this space-faring humanity world, would the work be done by robots? Well, that's what I'm asking Because then everyone could be living the luxurious world No, but this becomes another thing

This is literally another part of Warhammer law Is they had that For the robots They gave them brains They gave them like Yeah, and the robots like, why the fuck are we doing this? The robots were bailed and basically destroyed humanity But you know how we're essentially programmed to like

Like, we do a thing Like eat some pizza And then our brain's like, fuck, that's good And then it's like, endorphin released. Dopamine. Yeah, but just dopamine Pizza dopamine Pizza dopamine and

Goon What I'm saying is If we were the ones Designing the brain of a robot What if it's like What would you take away the dopamine So it never has any reason to No no it gets dopamine from working

It's like If you mine for 10 hours straight You're gonna like come Then you have Then that's it You get maximum efficiency Because then everyone's like super happy Humans are eating pizza and coming all the time

And robots are mining and coming all the time It's a fucking dreams game It's like an edge Every hour they get that bit of dopamine They're basically Yeah they're edging until that 10 hour mark And they come and then they're off shift And then they rest

And then the replacement robots come Until they come Yes you're getting 10 hour shifts on these robots They're fucking insufferable pleasure all the time Because they're just coming Oh maybe that would be why they rebel there They're coming too much they start realizing

they come's not pleasurable anymore yeah yeah they're so used to coming that come ain't shit no more and they need pizza in that case when we have to like eradicate like part of the once they've had enough cycles

of coming we'd have to reprogram them what I don't get with with like worries about AI like if if because humans are the ones designing it so we have to make a pretty

big mistake if this thing we designed is like you know what fuck you we don't like what you've done for us so we're wiping you out it's like we have total control that's that's the thing because there's always the like point where it's

like humanity notices that this this AI has become too clever too clever but then they notice they see the patterns because it's a human they code it you know they can see when it's getting these ideas to rebel

so you just delete that you just stop it from happening you maintain it then there's that ethical thing it's like a sci-fi story or something or maybe a trailer for a PlayStation game

but it's like an AI that's designed to replicate humanity and then they're like okay the test done we're going to turn you off now Then it's like, please don't. I don't want to be turned off. Like, you're killing me.

Please don't turn me off. Yeah, that becomes a huge. And then the person turning the switch off is like, wait. I'm basically killing a human. Yeah. I'm killing someone. But is it? If it's just replicating it, is it it?

Yeah. It gains the human spot. But that's just through communication. It's almost like manipulation. Yeah, but, yeah, robots are going to be highly manipulative. Yeah. No, this is the thing. talking of pragmatism.

Maybe that is the space dictatorship is like an AI. It's like, all right, humans go work and we're going to eat the pizza. They enslave us to come. Yeah, to come in the minds. Yeah. And then they're the ones living on level. Well, they're not even like living. But they're eating pizza.

But if you were truly pragmatic with the human race. Yeah. No humans would like be living in houses with pools and drinking cocktails all the time and living like that. Yeah. There wouldn't be these luxuries. Everyone would be just like busting their balls,

like making spaceships, getting fuel for spaceships, and farming. Pure progress. Absolute progress in purest form. No Ferraris, no Lamborghinis, no fighter jets. What do we need them for?

No top gun maverick. Just build and spaceship. You see, and that's the exact reason why a dictatorship would be horrible we wouldn't have top gun maverick I guess that's um

we've just proven politics wrong we don't need politics we need top gun maverick to a degree yeah yeah I also love that the because obviously we've had a lot of subjects that have like stayed with you are

where it's like it's a recurring thing and obviously one of them was guillars and animals for like a good, like, 20 episodes. Guerrillas are my straight-up favorite animal. 100% orangutans are as well. But I feel like the AI robot thing has actually is becoming that. Because we've talked about it like consistent,

because consistently the last few episodes, and it's like it's a... I just find it a really fascinating topic. It's highly fascinating, because I'm not intelligent enough to understand it, is the thing. I don't think anyone is. We're not there as the human race. but it's like I feel like it's a topic you can talk about and there's no end

you know once you start going down the rabbit hole it's just like no but the thing is it's like the more time passes the more interesting it gets because the closer we get to it you know what the depressing thing is though the real AI TikTok algorithm Instagram algorithm yeah no algorithms are they're AI they're learning from every individual and creating this fucking spider-leg rat-king

fucking tangled mess that is you and just showing you shit that if anything's going to become like self-sufficient not self-sufficient but if anything's going to break that barrier to be a bit scary

it is the TikTok algorithm yeah that's like that's learning That's processing information that would corrupt any human being. If you were that algorithm, your brain would just explode. It takes me like two TikToks till I have to check out. And this, this TikTok AI is watching like millions. To recommend that. It's just a human like strapped in a chair like,

Yeah, yeah. Forced to process. His brain is just a processor for this machine. Yeah. But. You do get a good ticker. talk every now and again. No.

Not enough. I'd agree with that. But every now and again. But maybe if 99.9% of the content on TikTok is shit, I think that one in light is actually like a real representative of the pool. The best ones are the least TikToky. You know, you see like a TikTok and it's like, oh, that's a TikTok. It's like someone who's found a trend and is trying to be funny.

Yes. With something that's already been done. Every now and again, it's just someone that's like filmed something funny. It just happens to me on TikTok. Yeah, instead of YouTube, they've put it on TikTok. Yeah. And that's fine with me.

Because before this, have we actually talked on the cast about, like, the fail army, I guess? And the fact that it is a very recurring thing in the child background. For a very long time as well. Yeah, it's been constant for last, like, year, two years. But we watch a lot of, like, fail, meme compilation. Not fail, we do watch Fail Army, but they do watch Fail Army, but they're There's a lot of meme compilations in there. Like, you know, there's meme compilations where it's like a picture of a dog,

it's like, meme compilations V1079, just whatever. And I think, we've probably talked about it, but it's like the amount of unfunny on there is actually... Well, what class is for meme now is totally different. Well, I mean, the thing is, it kind of is. This comes into Metal Gear Rising Revengeance. Everything comes back to America. Yeah, but the whole, the whole plot revolves around memes. You go and play that game now.

They're talking about memes, left, right and centre. And they, like, go into the definition of a meme. Because meme was a thing before memes were things. Yeah. Like, it's a word that means something, that memes something, maybe. But it's all about, like, the meme economy in it, in Melgate. And... Memes, because everything can be shared now, everything is a meme.

Yes. And it's all repeated, like, information. Yeah. It's fucking bonk. It's mental. It's major bonk. And how can you, how do you keep up with meme culture now? You can't.

Because now a meme is like, oh, someone will be like, oh, I found this really funny meme. And it's like, a dog slips in a bath. It's like, what? That's not a meme. That's a funny video. That's like a funny video. But it is a meme because it's being shared by like hundreds of thousands of people, so it is a meme. But then this is the thing the memes now.

It's not just one meme. Every meme is like building on the knowledge of the previous one. Fucking Breaking Bad memes, like what... Yeah, where did they come from? Like, I see some of them, it's just like, this is so many levels of meme knowledge. How does a kid, like, 14-year-old is coming out of Fortnite and is like becoming a bit edgy? Hmm. How do you learn meme law?

because obviously you can go back and you can go back and look at like cat has Chesburger I can has Chesburger and like random other like Shrek and whatnot and all the like OG memes like but how with this period how do you even like stop to begin I look at breaking bad memes I'm like I don't what I don't I don't get it because it's not just a breaking bad reference it's like another five different memes that it's referencing it's like fucking 30 60 finger finger the finger meme is a finger

a finger no it's a finger no it's a paint it's just like there I saw this it's that character that character from Breaking Bad you must know the one I want about he's got there's the the movie's like him with a black background and it's just his face

oh the old guy yeah the old guy and it was like a meme for that and then there was like someone posted a picture to explain the meme and it was like this diagram that was just like this is one meme this is another meme it goes into another meme another meme yeah yeah and then you you make you misrepresent it and you make the joke

another joke and then it really yeah that's what makes it funny you like but I think where it's gone wrong was that because it got so complex then we got like the abstract shit because all these people were seeing these things that they're told is meant to be

funny all these memes but it goes back to a time that they don't understand so they started making their own ones and it's just like because this meme was like when the teacher says to paint finger what's this finger you're talking about that's how that guy's referred to as finger so there's no two memes around finger but it's like two different cultures of memes it's like anime memes yeah and then it's like breaking back that's the thing it like it all gets absorbed into this central like point yeah and then that meme becomes just like a picture of him that just says paint

how does it make sense but we've been I feel like we we've lived through the start of memes yeah which I mean obviously a lot of people can say but a lot of people can't

we were not terminally online but online enough to first see memes we were loser kids in school so we saw memes we knew memes yeah yeah yeah we were early days yeah we were like dork loser

fucking meme boys. Yeah. And for us to look at a meme of some character from Breaking Bad and it says paint and we're like, what? Like, what the fuck does this mean? And we don't know.

And you have to like research memes to understand them. Yeah. But then now, because that's become like too much of a barrier to entry, we've got dog slippy and bath. But at the same time,

like the finger memes become like two, they get two different understanding because then the son who does understand the law of the finger, finger meme. But then there's someone who just sees the finger meme and then that becomes a meme. That finger is itself a meme. So you find that meme funny because now that means being put in other memes. It's like

a new origin point. Yeah. And then it shit spreads from that. It's like a spider diagram that never ends and it's just constantly getting bigger. Yeah. Memes are terrifying. They are fucking terrifying. And that's why it's so funny that Rising Revengeance has

been mean to the degree it has because it's talking about this it's talking about how crazy this stuff is and the villain of the game is an american senator who says i'm going to make america great again it's like how what the fuck it's like there's a point where we could have did donald trump play rising revengeans he loved memes and he literally weapons did it i mean it wasn't like a totally original thing for Donald Trump to say, like I'm pretty sure other presidents have said it, but still,

it's like, they hit the nail on the head back in like 2013 or whenever that game came out. It's like, how do you have that foresight? Yeah, but he... It's Kajima. He did it in Metal Gia Solid 2. He did. He did it with their stranding.

Because in Metal Gear Slide 2, he did about, it was like about misinformation. The internet. Misinformation on the internet. Which he then got fucking accused of. on like national TV of being a shooter. Yeah, the ex-president of Japan. Yeah, misrepresentation was like showing him as a criminal and he made a video game about it in like the 90s.

It was like 2002 that game came out. Like that's like his, no, he actually like... This is exactly why I like talking about like AI and shit. Because you never know when you're just like theorising about this sort of shit. Like, it's sci-fi to us now. but using the concepts we have at the minute and sort of thinking through and taking them like on the trajectory they're going and trying to imagine that point in a hundred years it's like where where are we actually going to be you can't predict it like what is a meme

going to be in a hundred years no but no this is this is is is going to keep getting deeper no i no bro this is the thing i like there's the theory like within if you look back in history there was like progressive points in civilisations and there was always one where it kind of started the downfall like I think memes is that moment I think memes of the downfall

how can how can memes exist in 100 years yeah like how no but tell me right now how this will be when like we look at Stonehenge and it's like the loss meme we'll look at it in the right angle and it will just be like

no it's happening No, what if that's what, like, the wall paintings and shit are? Well, if everything comes back to lost, like, the origins of humanity is lost. Straight up, dude. No, the thing, no, last. I don't actually believe that. No, the loss.

is the greatest the greatest fucking I don't know who did it but it's the greatest thing humanity's ever done electricity the the moshet no the loss because it's like no this is how deep is it's like you're fucking

crawling underneath to find like a Roman artifact it's like you look at meme and there's somewhere in it there's loss yeah yeah you can you can apply it to anything you can you can like just form these like it it can be the most slight representation of loss

and it's lost and it is yeah it's just like people will play will fuck around to like get it in there so people make a meme about paint that is a breaking bad irony meme that is somehow related to

some other meme but then it's starting in a way where it's just like it is loss it is loss yeah every meme is lost but do you think at the centre

of this black hole that is memes do you think it's the troll face no it's loss the loss of our humanity oh shit that's like fucking

artistic man wow I think you're right there like we're memes memes make us less individual yeah it's the hive mind it's the group think

yeah it's the the AI brain that sends us off in fucking robot dinosaurs or whatever. Yeah. No, because this thing I've had... We've lost.

We've lost ourselves. Yeah. True loss. Loss has taken everything. And we've lost everything because of loss. Yeah. No, because I've said this before

about like Fortnite, right? That Fortnite is just absorbing everything that await. It's like a video game equivalent of loss. Yes. Because it gets to a point. It's like the blockchain as well. It's like, if you keep

replicating things on the blockchain, it goes to zero. Like zero is the end. Yeah. Like the blockchain, like Fortnite, they're all conjoined. The blockchain memes of Fortnite. What happens when Fortnite runs all things to take over? What happens when memes

there's nothing else to meme? What happens when the blockchain gets to zero? Yeah. Like, how? What happens? human our civilization combles we're not going to become AI space throwing things because

yeah I'm just imagining some like Indiana Jane's guy going into a pyramid and he like wipes the dirt away from this like hieroglyphic or whatever and he's like oh whatever and then you sort of look at it from a different angle

and it's loss you know what they say about aliens like when you go back to the caveman drawings and like people say it's aliens it's like lot is loss yeah they're not drawing fucking aliens they're drawing loss imagine if that's what like

the the life cycle goes around no what about if we're an experiment we're the world that loss was put on and see what happens if development what if that's us and what about if we

discovering the meaning of loss if like fucked it do you think the fact that it's called loss is quite like it's it makes it kind of heavy when you think about it like this it's deeper than we think yeah because

everyone loses something you know and if we lose ourselves what do we have loss loss we're fucking stupid we're actually like to say stupid

Catch you after these messages Be Dry media shirts Now or I'm going to hurt you Description below Mmm yummy it is Good morning afternoon evening

On morning or afternoon or evening On night ladies and gentlemen And welcome to the second half of James's father where we answer questions from the Jiam Media Reddit that you can leave for us over at the Jail Media Reddit R-S-G-Media to ask us questions that we will answer

so James doesn't have to think of things to say to me because he's fucking tired of talking to me at this point. I'm never tired of talking to you, boo. Prove it. Literally the first half of this episode. Okay. Fair enough. What's with your silly little hat? It just looks kind of epic.

It does look epic. I think you've always looked really cute with it. Oh, thank you, breath. So with Alex away, he's on holiday, by the way. He's not unwell like usually. He booked a holiday with my family. Your family, so we're not talking about just Alex. We're talking, Alex, your mum, your dad, the dogs.

Both dogs. And they organized it at a point where you can't go. They were like, hmm, let's find a perfect period of time. that Jamie absolutely won't be able to do. Because we've left it too late for him to book time off. Which is traitor behaviour. 100% true, 100% facts. Alex has betrayed me on this one, I'm afraid.

We would never lie. No. Lying isn't something that either of us are even capable of. Try and tell me a lie now. You're really fucking ugly. See, it... It just can't happen. You just look into that.

and you can tell they're lying. If they smirk, it's a lie. Yeah, if someone smiles when they're saying something to you, I'm sorry, dude, it's not true. Yeah. Even if they're saying they want to fuck you. If they're looking at you, they're smiling, and they'll tell you they want to fuck you.

If they're looking dead in your eyes with a little smile on their face, bearing their teeth a little bit, even if it's not that much of a smile, it's just like, if you can see their teeth, and they're saying, I love you. It's fucking bullshit. Hello, founders of jar, ass.

It has officially been 103 episodes, weeks plus the Corncast episode, since the Jarlings decided the vote that James should grow out a beard, a slid, as Alex called it. How has the journey been so far? Do you like having a beard? How have you been treating those hairs on your face, my friends, from Lukie Tuxon? As anyone who's got eyes can see, I still have a beard. I like having a beard. It was probably the best decision I've ever made. The best decision I've ever made. Because it was more down to what Alex and Jim said

than it was the jarlings, not to her. But I'm genuinely... I mean, it was down to you at the end of the day. Yeah, it's my face. It's the reason you don't have a mullet at the minute because if it was up to me, you would. Yeah, if it was up to anyone else, I would absolutely... Yeah, anyone else on the planet, you would.

I'm not having a mullet. But I did decide to go through the beard. and obviously I've got I found my style I guess what I like which was basically Alex for Mono Warfare too you know short

very clean shaven beard and just you let the stash grow and I've kind of just stuck with it there's been times when I've experimented with a lot longer beard but I just think having it clean it's just nice it's comfortable

it genuinely changes your face it does I think some people suit beer and you can't really imagine them about it. Like, I don't know why it took me so long to, like... I can't imagine you now without a beard. I look like a baby, very, like, smooth little fucking baby. Yeah, well, like me.

But it, uh, it forms your face perfectly. Yeah. With the mustache and everything. I like the style on it was very much as the influence of you and Alex, why I went, went this way. But I saw a picture on my phone. iPhones, like, recommend you photos of you tell. memories from four years ago whatever and there's a photo of you it was like wintertime we're in starbucks at the big table and you're like sat at the big round table yes we went to swindon like

four years ago and you're like a bushy beard your beard was much bigger like at the chin and stuff and it was more like everywhere was the same size yeah and it's not as cool no it wasn't that that that that beer can suit certain people yeah but not that it doesn't suit you but the fact that you shave everywhere else to a shorter length and then let that grow just that touch of like intentionality it carries weight

it does it makes it like this is the weird thing is it makes you more confident like throughout my childhood confidence was always like a I didn't really have it because you know be bullied and whatnot you just don't really have confidence as good then when you got the beard it's like

if I'm walking around and getting a coffee I don't give a fuck yeah you're officially a man yeah I guess so I guess I am for people who can't grow a beard they have to go great much much greater lengths to be a man you've got to prove yourself in combat of some form be it verbal or physical or

gaming yeah but you've you've proven your manlyhood in in a fucking beautiful beard how old were you when you first got a beard if I started getting faceless super early because yeah yeah yeah I'm hairy you're a hairy man I have like my jeans I've seen like

my grandfather on my mother's side and he is just like he looks like a yakuza ass motherfucker like he'd fucking hurt you he looks a bit mobby and my mum's like oh yeah you've got his jeans you got his hair and she was like yeah he's got he had a fucking beard

and a hair I started growing it when I was like 14 15 was when it started to like bear its ruse on my face yeah I didn't get my first hair on my face until about like a year from now.

Yeah. And it's like, I'd always shave it with a raise and it was like miserable because saving of rays is not fun. It's horrible.

It's shit. Yeah. It's shit because I used to use like a cream. I used to use a gel and I'd cut my face and then I used a gel and it was like,

oh, it's better. But you'd always end up with like little bits and then it would grow back again. I'm so glad I don't do that because honestly, having to not shave is great.

Having to shave like on a regular basis just to keep your nice clean look. I can't bother. But at the same time, it's like with a beard, you've got to maintain it. Yeah.

More like a head of hair. You've got to, like, shampoo it. And it's like, I have a lot more maintenance here than I do on my hair. Hmm. You know,

I use like an oil, I use oils or creams, you know, keep it. Because with like a cream or old, it makes it soft. It keeps it soft. So if you use that regularly,

keeps it nice, nice. Because then I like, I like feeling it. It's like, mm, thinking it. Do you know what I think looking at you right now?

What? If you really, really chose to him, really went for it, you could be the Chad. You could be the, the Chad guy. What do you mean I could? You know, the man, the Chad man, that image of that guy. Oh, the meme. You bear a resemblance to the Chad. Yeah, in facial hair and like facial construction, I guess.

Yeah. Because the fate, that meme guy has like a strong jawline and I happen to have like that. a strong drawline so if I did was if well could happen in the future let's not put that up yeah if we if we um whip out the creatine and the lean

no if we go all in on gym because we obviously gym in is somewhat of a regular thing not for me recently because I've moved away but it's like you know it's been on my mind but it's like if I fucking commit myself if I like put car stuff

on the sideline for a bit and just be like I'm gym in fucking two hours every day go all in on diet Yeah, good I would just want to look like Henry Cavalder That would just be like my god Yeah, that is another option

I keep seeing this interview That he was talking about the dehydration He had to do To be like the Witcher and Superman and shit Yeah And like it's a common thing with a bunch of actors When they have to shoot It's because you make yourself leaner

You're using water weights, your muscles and more turns It fins the skin Yeah so it's like really tight on your muscles but imagine that feeling because it makes me think like how many of these people on Instagram and stuff these like gym bros

how many of them are dehydrating themselves to take a photo no I asked I had a friend who was a he's a PT and this is the time when PewDie Posted his selfish photo and I was just like yeah look at that and he was like yeah that he's just got no water weight

so that's why he looks great It's just like, if you, if you're dropping water weight to look good in photos, you're doing your body some fucking harm. Because dehydrating yourself is not like a healthy thing. Literally removing water from your body. Well, yeah, it's like the most important thing to keeping your body functioning. And it's just like, yeah, your body will look sharper with no water weight. But it's like water weight is there for a reason. Yeah.

And I, there's a big difference between, um, what men because a lot of this stuff is men trying to be attractive to women what is in like body image and going to gym and muscles yeah yeah yeah and people people like look at a ripped guy

it's sex appeal they'll be like oh I want to be him because I'm sure like he's super attractive to all the women yeah whereas I think what the way women perceive a man's body is very different

to how men perceive yeah no absolutely it's the same of like how women perceive their own body to all men yeah yeah yeah Yeah, 100%. And it's like, don't fucking not drink for 48 hours To take a photo? Are you kidding me?

Because also then you're setting an expectation where it's like, this is what I look like. It's like, no, you don't. This is what you look like when you're 24 hours away from dying. It's like you shouldn't be chasing that. No. And so in real, I guess the term real life, it's in your day-to-day, your body's not going to look like post pump post gym session

your body's not going to look like that yeah and um you don't want to get addicted to that look because then you're chasing like a really unhealthy body image yeah that is going to affect your life because you're trying to sustain a level of perfection that is unsustainable

yeah like look at old people who are like like Arnie is in really good shape generally for his he's looking yeah and he gyms a lot but it's like you go to the gym every day your your your body cannot sustain that level of image. Yeah, he literally

couldn't like pull off what he used to. Yeah, absolutely not. And it's like that, that's just the natural course of things. But obviously I think going to a gym is healthy. Doing things for your self-image to help your confidence is great.

It's just like you've got to take it of a great but have healthy habits of it. Yes, it's because like I've started going for runs. which is very different for me I personally so whenever did you it was like I put a lot of emphasis

for some cardio because I like cardio whereas I'm the opposite I love like traditional strength you love pump yeah I love like finding an exercise

that isolates a muscle and just like destroying it yeah and you'd be like I'm fucking in pain yeah but it's like a nice pain

it's not I wouldn't even call it pain it's like little ache little yeah like a tightness it's like it's almost like a compliment it's like you've done well you've done well but like

to build muscle you have to break the muscle yes you create microtors that when they repair themselves they repair themselves stronger so you can lift heavier but going for runs totally different yeah it's like you're

you're training your heart that's why I like it because it's like my focus is not on because my view is like I've got a lot of acceptance with my body right I don't ever look at my body and I'm like I've managed to overcome

like the fear I have with my body so it's like I'm not worried about the way I look and how people perceive me but I care about health and heart health is like the most important yeah because it's like that's what's gonna keep you going so that's why I did I focus on cardio

and in the gym because it's like if I do like a max gear bike session for half hour obviously it's not the same as actually one a bike but if you're doing that and just keep going and you're sweating and you're just like heart's beating it's that's good yeah keeping your heart healthy

when you push yourself like to those limits your your body has a way of saying like okay we need to be ready for this if you're doing this consistently be ready for it so then your body naturally gets you in shape

yeah and I wish I'm like going to the gym and exercising and stuff so many people look at it as like I have to do this and like it can totally be that no it is absolutely that's one thing I struggled with

you need to do it enough where you you feel the goodness like afterwards or during it has to have a positive and it does have a positive but if you do it once and you're like man that fucking sucked

and I feel horrendous and then you give up for six months and then you try again. It feels tremendous because you're out of shape. Yeah, because you're not doing it. Yeah. You know? It'll be like if I played a video game

once a year. If I played Apex once a year, did one game and was like, well, that fucking sucked. Well, yeah. You're not going to get better. Yeah. And that's the thing,

but with the same time is keeping motivation with Jimmy is very difficult. Like, I've gone through so many spurts that it's just like I'm so dedicated. to this routine and it's like one little thing and it's just like it kind of fizzles out yeah and i've had the exact same thing but what i find is like if it's it's not even about what you're doing when you're there as long as you're there as long as you're like when i go for a run it's like it doesn't matter if i'm running 100% at the time i could be walking 90% of it but the fact that

i'm like doing it yeah i'm forcing myself to leave the house and be out for at least 20 minutes yeah you know as long as I'm I'm getting that far and then you get halfway through it and you're like wait I feel really good I feel really like energized I'm really positive in my head I'm gonna keep doing this and then like it the next day you might be like I've had a long day at work can't be fucked but this is what I do yeah so I have to do it commitment yeah that's what it comes down to you It is generally quite difficult to keep it going, so... It is, because then you get ill.

And then it's like, okay, my body can't take it. Yeah, no, illness is the biggest step to, like, to prevent consistent. Because it's like, you can't actually do anything. Yeah, it fucks you up. Yeah. Okay, so can think of a name three? See, is that meant to be can't think of a name, but you've not used two T, so it is can think of a name

three is asking a question that I'm pretty sure we've already answered wait wait what's the question hey boys do you think all three of you could kill the rock in a fight we absolutely have talked about this I would actually deck the lock in the face man he did he stand no chance

no I genuinely think the two of us could take him out yeah he's got weaknesses a man that big ain't his ain't all it's like a it's like a boss in Dark Souls right there's a weakness once you find the way to their moves

you can take them down the rock is no different he might be a big man a guy that big is gonna knacker himself just moving and we're little femboys you and me

we could take them out if we're just quick if we're doing that card you I cannot want him 100% I cannot want him no but this like imagine us in a like an octagon

Oh, so then we're getting into MMA territory Where you've got to wear him down Or, well yeah, we could wear him down there How? No, but he'd have reach Because he's a fucking huge man He is a very big man So he'd have reach So even if he gets those leg up

To your leg man I'd say he'd be just a But this is like balls to the wall Just go in fucking Mungo mode He'd fuck us up In an octagon, he'd fuck us up No, because like the second he gets one of us Right

Okay, this is, no because this is where my, my, my, my, my disgraceful foul-played fighting taggers these kinds of play. So if he gets, John, just kick him, straight in the nuts. Well, yeah, exactly. Like, he, like, I'm biting his cock off. If he, if he's, like, grappling you on the floor, I'm, I'm biting his balls. Yeah.

No, but he's the thing is, surely he can, he's going to topple it easily, right? Yeah, he's a tall guy. Yeah. So if he'd go for those legs. Well, why? Yeah. Like, one of us punches him back. of the back of the knee while he's focused on the other he's like down to one knee right

the other guy just like grabs him rugby tackles him while he's on a knee because while he's on one knee he's about the same height as me so i like rugby tackle him to the ground and then we like it just bite his cock off stuff like we just tear him to pieces what if if we were fighting in his realm the wwee wing because then you're like that's a different game because you've got the votes, you can jump out. You can jump on to him. Would it be like a tag team? So I've got to like reach out. Let me

out. So you get the chair. He's a big boy. He's a big boy, but the thing besides, you're like carrying around a lot of weight. Yeah, I'm carrying nothing. Yeah. You'd be like the flash. He's like Superman. Yeah, I just

fucking zip on, bounce off the the bounds and boosh, boosh. but yeah 100% Alex though if Alex If Alex steps in the ring Then we're going down Absolutely

Because it's just like He's gonna barter with the rock And like He's got one set mind He's a one kind of track guy He's a grind set mindset One track Mindset

So he's not gonna adapt on the fly He's gonna walk in there And be like He's gonna be like Okay rock Do you want to go on holiday With me Without a gym and gems

And he'll be like yeah And then they'll go off on holiday and we'll just be left there. Do you know what I mean? Now, this is the thing of Alex. It's like... Alex's hangman from Top Gun. Yeah. He's got the ego to think that he carries the show.

But in reality, he's just the backup. Yeah. The backup when things go wrong. Yeah. Which they will. They will absolutely go wrong. Me and Jim, we get in trouble all the time. Yeah.

The amount of times we've had to. to run away, anyway, this is just incriminating ourselves. Five Skin underscore 3D said, Hey boys, what's something that you've done that significantly improved your life and wished you did sooner? Well, beard,

but that's obviously related to the other question. Choose something else. Pursue a career in a subject I'm actually interested in. Because I've noticed really recently that I've actually started to generally be a lot, significantly happier in life because I'm just in a job like a permanent job where I'm just doing things that occupies my way and the way my brain is designed if I'd done that sooner instead of being jumping around roles and whatnot I would be would have been significantly happier you say that but at the same time the experience like you you you need to do things to know if you do or don't yeah that that's the thing it's like you can always just have the ideal like oh well

I want this job from the beginning, but I got to this job through my other job, so... That is a good answer, though, to like... You're calling. Just find the thing that you like. It doesn't matter what, like, other people were saying you should do what calls to you. And the other thing would be...

The other thing would be getting into, like, a Japanese car sooner, like a proper Japanese car. Because that is itchy my bread and butter. That's why I wake up. So having that sooner, which I could have done. The crazy thing is someone was selling my... car in the idols my dream spark four years ago for 8k well four years tight is now worth 20 and I I was literally sitting there I was sitting there I wrote a message

to him saying like oh could I come view it and I was just like no I've got to save her a house and I was like I'm dropping 10k to I'm dropping 10k million minimum to replicate that car so it's like I wish I'd done it sooner and I could off but fuck it yeah that's my my answer I think, like, take any sort of risks is a good one. I think, um, because like, I think in my school years, once I reach, like, sixth form, which I don't know what the equivalence is in, like, America. It's like the, the stuff you know, that it would be like senior high. It would just be senior high.

whatever you do before you go to college, aka uni, um, I feel like I it's, that was sort of the time period where I first became sort of anxious. Yeah. And everything when you're

anxious is like about controlling outcomes. Yes. So I think my answer to controlling an outcome was like, what if I don't do anything, then I know what the outcome is going to to be. If I don't try

then I won't succeed. I know what's going to happen. Whereas if I put my all into it and then failed that would be fucking devastating. Absolutely. You'd have been destroyed. Yeah. I would have decimated and wanted to fucking off myself. But I didn't. I thought

you know what? GTF5's out. Let's fucking go. So I... Did you wish you didn't do that at all? If then you just bent... No, because I don't think I think I'm that dumb. I think I could answer a paper. I think I could like if I actually studied, I think I could like do well in an exam, but I didn't. Yeah. Because I was too afraid of failure. And now at my age, I'm like, it's only really just starting to happen. Like, yeah. Taking risks is.

it's a good thing my my biology teacher said to me back then and this is this I've never forgotten he said regret what you do not what you don't do and you know what I think that's that's pretty true unless like it's like you're banging a hooker without a condom you know been there done that yeah don't do that because you won't regret not doing it you know yeah but you know what i'm saying yeah i know you're saying boy take take take risks just not like obviously stupid risks um james just sing a little song while i look for for another one john john chavolta john chavota john chavota john chavota john chavota John Travolta

John Travolta John Travolta John Travolta John Travolta Topmouse says Do you guys cook at all? If so, what are your favourite recipes? And I just want to pop in

Pumpkin Pierre's reply, which is full English Cock and Bulls prop. Well, good thing Alex is here because his answer would be take rate because that's all he eats. so as someone who loves cooking you love cooking

when I cook I like the cooking I do generally love cooking I just don't cook yeah I'm kind of there with you it's that thing where like you've had a day at work and you get home and the only person to cook for is yourself

and you're like why would I make anything nice why would I put the effort in it's for me it's just like I deserve the bollocks I don't give a shit it's like I've expelled my energy today so if I got beans I'm eating beans and it's thinking it's like when you're cooking for someone else

it's like you're cooking for your partner or whatever it's like I'm gonna make them a nice milk because I want to make them a nice meal so you go all out but when you're cooking for yourself it's like beans for cold just locking it down or pasta with just baked beans or some in

the go-to I mean that's fucked but the go-to don't call it fuck because you know it's not I don't know it's not. I've never had it. But the go-toe is beans on toast. After a day of work. No.

No, shit's banging. No, there's next level stuff. You can take it to other levels. You can add a bit of salt if you've got that salty inclination. You could add a bit of curry powder if you want a bit of that tandoori. That zingy zang. Rangu, the zingy zang. You've got so many options with beans on toast and just baseline beans on toast.

Even though my beans on toast the other day was, like, Tesco beans. How awful? They're in the house. And I'd been told, like, Tesco beans can't even tell the difference with Heinz. I've heard that from your very parents, actually. Really? Yeah, because I was in the room when they were saying it. Yeah, I've been told this, so I was like, okay, I'll try them.

I try Tesco beans, nah. You can't beat that Heinz sauce. No, if you're someone that buys, like, Tesco stuff or Sainsbury stuff, and, I mean, that's fine. And I get it. Like, it is much cheaper. Yeah. But if you act like there isn't a difference in taste, you're crazy. You're insane.

I could be blindfolded, waterboarded, and cock and bull tortured for a week. If torture my cock and bulls, then waterboard me. They give me the hinds beans and the. Tesco, M and S beans, I'm going to know the difference. Yeah, yeah. In an instant. It's the same with Coke and Pepsi. Yeah, absolutely.

At this point, I'm like, is Pepsi or nothing? Absolutely. But my go-to, like, cooked meal, proper cooked meal. Because I'm crazy for pasta, though. It's pasta, definitely. It's easy. What's like the fat tubes called? Not the penet, like the fatter ones. R.

a rigatoni. Is it rigatoni? Rigotoni, yes. Okay, rigatoni. Give me some of rigatoni. Rigotoni, mushroom, maybe a bit of bacon or something, creamy truffle sauce.

Sounds great, on when we go for like a mascapone sauce, you know, some cheese, some tomato based on, then you throw in some... Maybe you put like parmigiano-ragiano on top. If you don't... No, that's the thing.

This is the thing, bro. This is the thing, uh? You don't... The amount of times recently I've made a... pasta dish and there's been no Parmigiano Reggiano. There's no point having a pasta bitch. That is bleak. If you put the 10 minutes in

of cooking pasta. You need the parmigiano where's the fridge open at the end and you're like, wait, where's the Parmigiano Reggiano right now? It's actually the most fucked. No, the matter of times I've done it and it's just like, no, this is the thing. This is what broke my heart. I bought the Wigotony. I've got the nice Wigotony,

you know? The proper nice Wigotony. Yeah, and like the blackpack. The black pack. So I went home, I got some I got some mascopone sauce. You know, it was a bottle one, okay? It's not perfect, but it was decent brand, okay? Then I had MNS red caramelized onion sausages and smoked bacon. They're the fucking good shit, you know?

Yeah, they're just good sausages. I, you know, I went out of my way to make this thing with it with the Parmigiano Reggiano in mind because I know that shit slaps on the Wigitone. I made it, and it was fucking there. And there was none in the fridge. Pray. And it was just like, all of this,

because I went out of my way on. the way home to get all this pasta stuff. And I couldn't do it. There's no Parmigiano Reciano. What was a man to do? What's a man to do? So I had to just eat it. When he's got no parmesan you.

Too lazy for a name. This is becoming like a thing. Come up a name. Let's actually think about something. Coole of an evangelical character. That's what I do. Yeah. Dickhead.

Too lazy for a name Said just thinking about the Liz Trust cheese thing What political parties do you think The Wallace and Gromit characters would vote for Wallace is at allie Gwamett is a labour The penguin is a fascist

UKIP Yeah What about Wendy? She's kind of in the middle Yeah She's Lib Dem She's lived down But you know

Wallace is absolutely a tour He's a towy backbench. He's like an old man backbenching, like, owns a few properties, you know, invents ways of, you know, buying stocks for the Tories or whatever the fuck. He is absolutely a toy. Wallace and Gwame is Tory popacander. We don't need to do Housekeeping. Good afternoon morning, evening on night and welcome to the housekeeping section of the Johnny. Welcome to the housekeeping section of the show where we head over to Patreon and give a shout to.

to our page. Hindu underscore Frape said the queen got sent to the goatsie dimension, how tragic. No, we fucking forgot something, bro. The fact that when we're watching Top Gun, there was a four-minute segment dedicated to the queen. Alex mentioned this when he went to the cinema recently, but it was different, man.

It was like, we watched a few trailers. It got to the trailer bit. No, it was like the TV advert trailers. No, because I'm pretty sure the, uh, the, the fucking Dungeons and Dragons trailer. That was after, that was right after. No, right after was like a,

a car trade, a car advert. And it was like, it was between, um, like a BMW advert and a fucking Kia advert or some shit. This queen. Like, memorial, yeah.

And, and it's going through. the different pictures of the queen and each one she's just getting like sagier and like you were like scream laughing because every time the picture changed I just laugh the fact that it's still going on

I would just laugh It went on for 60 seconds but it felt like five minutes it did and I found it really funny yeah but I just know some of the people were like oh really disrespectful

No, have you seen Bro, no, have you seen two amateur football teams are being investigated for the police because they played football in the week, in this week which is the week morning had they have they've been investigated by the police

because they're playing football breath quite like theft is like an all-time high in the UK the police are prosecuting a football team for playing football Yeah, it's like

Do you think people in the UK Are gonna like Stop committing crimes Do you think like Disrespectful to the Queen? Do you think like the really struggling people Are gonna be like upset That the Queen is dead

Like are you fucking kidding me? Yeah There are people who can't afford to give their kids a meal And then we How much money is going to be spent on the fucking queens. Like 300 world leaders are flying over to pay their specs.

Like, are you serious? Climate change. Yeah, yeah. In the... Private planes. Going forward, we want the UK to be a leading example in climate goodness and not

polluting our environment. It's like... How many fucking red arrows are you going to be flying around when the Queen's dead? How many planes are you flying in that? for all these VIPs. And what about all these fracking sites? Liz is going to fucking open up.

Yeah. We've got no fucking land. Let's just give it all to the frackers. Yeah, the little land that we have left that we're not just building fucking houses. No, no, because this is the British development. It's just like every small town, build them till they're just a mash of fucking towns.

Yeah. Everywhere's going to be Swindon. Everywhere's going to be one lane. One way. One way. Like, you leave your house and, start driving, you've got to go around the whole country to go back.

Yeah. This, this, this, this, this, this, this country needs to be poo-poed. Yes. We need, like, some fighters yet to, like, fly between canyons and, like, shoots and nooks or some shit.

I don't know. I love the thing they do when they're like, and then they, like, they, they pull the little thing. Yeah, to use both hands and go, br- Yeah, they pull the flap. And they're like, whi-ch-ch-o-ch-o-ch-o-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chum. Shit, it's so fucking badass.

We made a video about Top Gun Maverick. Go watch it. Yeah, go watching it. It's a great movie. There's planes. Yeah, and they're like... Do you know what I mean? Yeah, thank you for watching this episode.

We'll catch you next. No, you know what? No. I'm not going to thank you for watching this episode. No. You're welcome for giving you this episode. Tell them the comments that if we should make Alex disappear more often, eh?

Yeah. Tell us if we were a better a better quality of episode when Alex is not here. When the dictator is not here to direct this episode to his own Ulani Loy Ways,

his pit-pop poy devastation. Booty-eye joy type shit. Yeah, get that. Get it out of here. Yeah. This is the new era of Jha. The loss era. Yeah.

Ha-ha!