JAR Media Posdact - Cookie Dough, Brownie, BOOM! - JARCAST Episode 206

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

Madagascar 2: Prawns https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies

Cookie dough, bowny, boom. I'm so uncomfortable whenever these Nerf guns come out. I want to tell you guys that. I'm just terrified. Why? What, you got a problem? This is the exact reason. What's the issue, huh?

You got an issue? Um, I am... I think you'll just be... As the elect of Jarre, I want to call... I want to bring forward... The what of JAR? The elect. I want to bring forward a gun control. What's the elect, huh?

Me. The only thing you are is the Alex of JAR, all right? I'm Alex, the host of JAR Media POSDACT. Hello, welcome to good afternoon, morning, evening and night. Welcome to the JARCast episode 2.05. Where we love guns. We're gun advocates. We're an NRA podcast.

Just joking, of course. We're a bunch of Brits. We're nothing to do with that. I'm your host, Alex. joined as always by the passionate napper himself James yep good afternoon and the reload connoisseur Jim show us one of your reloads will you go on that's not a reload nice nice unfortunately the audio listeners I need to keep this one loaded so that I can threaten you guys on the off chance the tyrannical government

overthrows us for a little bit yeah I mean we may not be allowed to have like real guns but you know we take what we can get in this country we got a whole locker filled with these bad boys the fanciest weaponry money can buy in the UK before we get any deeper shout out to the patrons over at Patreon Jail Media Patreon thanks for the support on there and the people who rate us on iTunes and just support us in general whether it's with monitoring value or not or just you know love you know because we we love

love love cast so before we kind of go into new shit I want to talk about last episode very briefly the main thing of note being that apparently for the first four minutes or so of the video version James maniacly

is a sort of laughing in the background just on and off we've checked it is there like and I honestly like I edited it as of recording this I actually edited it today this morning I genuinely didn't notice that and from checking the audio version it seemed fine so I don't know if there was a render issue or something every now and again there is like a rendering kind of issue an encoding issue but apologies for those who that bothered but for a lot of people

they thought it was intentional so I could have just kind of taken a step back and been like it was intentional you know just take credit for my mistakes I mean, it's worked out in a stylistic way. My laugh is kind of great. It's memetic. It's the audio version of a boom boom smack. Surely a boom boom smack is the audio version of a boom boom smack. Nah.

A boom. Boom smack is different, you know. I feel like you like boom boom smack, didn't you, James? Boom. Boom is a part of my everyday range. Yeah, you love boom. and you love smack so it's just I don't love smack

yeah you do if someone had like all the clips of all the Jalcast episodes where you smack Jim and all the times I know that you've smacked me I know you're a fan of the smack

yeah James loves smack it wasn't referred to as smack it was just referred to as the Halo Reach Halo Wars Yability what what are you talking about Halo Wars Yability what do you mean

That is a slap. That is a smack. That's what it's been since the early days. You're kind of your super move. Yeah, my Halo Wars Wilde. Yeah, your... Which is a smack. Ultimate move.

It's a smack and it's quite a painful smack actually. Yeah, sometimes you do that thing where you kind of whip your hand... You do a backhand slap. It's a backhand slap, but you do it as hard as possible. So you kind of slap with the nails, so it really whips and... Yeah. And it can hurt. Yeah, if you...

catch just the end it's like really a painful and it but it also hurts the person doing it so it's like a double-sided double-edged blade don't use it it's dangerous yeah obviously um boom boom smack that like button responsibly um something fucked up has happened guys like i'm upset so i've been drinking oh geez something fucked up's happened uh uh The creator of the iconic Lego mini-figure has died. I've heard about this as well, and I'm... This is a joke, right? I've got to try and say his name.

Nygaard Nudson. Is that right? Yes. Let's just call him Nye. Nye the Lego guy. Nye the Lego guy. Who created the iconic. Lego minifigure has died at the age of 78.

His former employer told EFAP, in speaking to the news agency, veteran Lego designer confirmed that he passed away on February 19th after spending a week in hospice care due to complications with his, oh God, amotrophic lateral sclerosis. ALS for short Sounds like a quite painful thing

The Lego Like the Lego mini figure design is Ultimate As far as a toy Kind of Won't deny Mascot is concerned What what like

Kind of human formed toy Is as good as that Action Man get out of here Barbie Sunk my dick Um Like what is even on the same level.

Nothing is anywhere near the same. Playmobile? Get out of you, just eat an ass. It's funny. It's cool. Charming. It's charming. And it's funny.

Yeah, if you get the Osokitano mini figure, it can be, like, really awesome, and then you can get, like, funny with the minions sets that are coming out. Can we talk about that for a little minute? No. The official minions Lego sets were revealed the other day. You can imagine how I felt about that. Not pleased.

Not pleased. Although, to be fair, you know, they did the best they could with the property. It just doesn't seem like a Lego property to me. It's more like a Megablox. Yeah, because they had like Star Wars, Harry Potter. Yeah, Indiana Jones.

The Angry Birds movie. Angry Birds movie. Galator or whatever. Neon Charles. Ninjago. They got the real shit, you know? Yeah, Lego movie. So getting... Getting illumination is almost like dirtying the brand.

Yeah. If I had a stock in Lego. I bet it's going to sell like pizzas. Pizza Hut or Dominos. Dominoes. But what if you're American? Like, we have lots of American listeners. Because like, isn't Dominos like trash in America?

You'd have to let us know. Didn't you have a Dominos when you're in America? Yeah, I have had American Dominoes. It's considerably worse But what was actually Like how could it be How do you fuck up a pizza It's just a piece of fucking bread

With cheese and tomato one How do you fuck that up How can you fuck up in English Domino's Because the English Domino's as shit as it is It's like how can it get worse Shut down It's not as bad as Pizza Hut dude No

I don't know That's harsh shit I really disagree The Domino's pizza is so basic So fucking basic You're describing the Pizza Hut pizza base It's fluffy as fuck

It's not fluffy as fuck It's The Domino's one is way more fluffy Than the pizza Why do you want it to be fluffy anyway It's probably mouldy If it's fluffy Because you

Should be concerned Okay No When we get into pizzas There's There's a difference Okay When you have a good pizza

A proper pizza place You want it to be thin You want it to be Italian style Like a proper pizza When you're getting shitty takeaway pizza You just get

whatever the fuck is decent and Domino's is not for it's shit Dominoes is better than pizza man no it is it is

the toppings at pizza are better KFC chicken fuck you pizza are saying they got like what is it like sirloin steak

like topping they said they had steak on it it's like that most processed piece of me is fucking all ground beef man

don't lie I got no respect for pizza I don't know why you'd want steak on pizza anyway why not

why do you have pineapple pizza. It's just the principle of lying you know, that's what really bugs. Yeah, but I mean, even then, if they were telling the truth, that, that doesn't sound good to me. Ground beef is fine. Just call it ground beef. You don't have to lie. Call it prime ground beef. Yeah. Yeah, there's ways to spin it in ways to convince.

Premium ground beef. But, I'm going to throw out a wench into the works. Papa John's pizza in the UK is really good. is it but by far the best yeah you have to be close to a city to have tried that like i've never had it i i'm in a city why would i order papa johns i'd normally just you know go somewhere i've had it once i had it once and by had it once i mean i had it be heated the next day fucking gorgeous banging pizza james's obsessed with like reheat it like he you prefer food the next day don't you no you pro no you do like

Every time I hear you talk about food, you're like... It's good. Cookie dough fine on the day. But reheat that shit the next morning? No, I'm right. The pizza cookie dough is actually better next day. Because when you're reheating up, it's like the fucking chocolate re-melt. And it just becomes...

Because it's not... But when you get it, it's melted already. No, but when you get it, it's kind of like crunchy on the edges. When you reheat that shit next day, the whole thing's smooth. It's fucking gorgeous. It's like... James loves that bizarre. You put it in the microwave for like 10 minutes.

It's like boiling. 45 seconds and it's fucking in the same plastic... Carbool container. Boom. Boom. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Smack that onto the plate.

Boom, boom. Smack it onto the plate and just go to town. But if we're going to go this far and talk about Domino's... cookie dough. I would like to bring a new competitor into this world the goo,

my crave of brownie fucking I got fucking baked as fuck a few weeks ago and I had one and it felt like I was eating it for like an hour and like every bite was pure

euphal with that was my recommendation it was it was the greatest thing I've ever had in my life I don't know I don't know how well-known the goo brand is, but at least in the UK we have this like pudding brand

that you can buy supermarket. It's spelled G-U, not G-O. Yeah, just G-U. I guess it's pronounced goo. Whenever that's on special, those are the ones you want to pick up if you've got that, you know, intense sugar addiction like you do here on the cast.

But the caramel cheesecake is not that good. I've never got it. Like the cold stuff they do isn't great, I find. Yeah, I've never bothered. You want the microwave stuff, like the melt-in-the-middle goo. Oh, no, no, no, this is no. Yeah, no. You want that melted and warm.

No, in the middle, goo. No, no, I've never, I've never had their melt-in-the-middle goo, or the melt-in-the-middle any cake. And do you know why? It makes me feel uncomfortable. No, you hate a change in consistency throughout a food. Jam donuts. They make me uncomfortable.

goo melt in the middle puddings make me feel uncomfortable James might be the fussiest eater of ever know chicken Kievs we're talking about this earlier like James's favorite food is plain bread no no you're using that is true though try and what's your favorite food prawns fresh and Madagascan pawns Madagascan what the fuck yeah

where can you find those not in England but you know in Madagascar I would assume In Mediterranean countries You go to the supermarket Fucking huge Mariaskan pawns Are we talking like dog-sized They're talking like

You know half-argy sized Fucking huge Do you think prawns are just gross though No They're like little um spiders They're like swim They're horrified They're all turgid because they've been in water for so long

Whereas like we've eaten scorpion on the cast That was dry and Fucking like A fresh scogy Scorpion, though, might be as juicy and plump as a prawn. No, I don't think, because they've got a... Exo-Skeleton. Don't prawns, though.

Like, if you get a fresh prawn, you've got to, like, really juice up that shit. The scorpion had, like, paste in the middle. Yeah, prawns have, like, you pull the... If you get a fresh prawn, you've got to put his fucking eyes out, you've got to grab it by the top. You just pull its head off. And, like, rip its legs off and his tail. Take...

And then dip it in some... fucking ketchup and go to town. Nah, ketchup's bad. No, ketchup mixed with mayonnaise, obviously. No. Bloody, yeah. No, yeah. But just, just fucking plain pawns that are slightly salted with, like, butter.

Bonath-Potee, that shit's fucking gorgeous. And only Mediterranean people would know this fucking gorgeous because... Everyone knows prawns are nice. They're fucking great. They're horrifying little animals there. Have you ever seen them in the wild? Yeah, they've run around. they don't run around

They're like No their little legs go And they swim Yeah Yeah like the prawn in um Sharktail That's how the movie begins It's on the hook

You know No that's a worm On the hook No you're right You're right There are prawns in the movie Yeah Like really annoying ones

But That doesn't Ignore the prawns What is wrong With a beautiful Fresh loaf of bread Still warm With like a nice

Olive butter the fuck's wrong with that hey balsamic vinegar A bit of balsamic vinegar Mixed with olive oil Yeah it's nice as a starter But it's like my favourite thing No because it's like

It's simple but it can be The levels of bread It's quite diverse Do you like the bread with olives in it? Yeah That's my favourite In general I like all bread Don't matter what it's

Calapeno bread Yeah Spicy bread is the fucking lovely. No. Because you can get like shit bread. Like, you know, the shit you buy from the supermarket that's just fucking cut bread.

That's not fucking that shit, you know. But when you go to a fresh bakery in a fucking Italy or France, and you get a fucking noise, fucking loaf of fresh bread. That shit's the fucking bomb. And you can't deny that. Have you been to either of those countries? I've been to Portugal and France.

It was the same, because you know. It is like such a, pro and con with these supermarkets where it's like, sure, like, everything you could ever want is in one location and that's really convenient. But you are missing that, like, expertise. Yeah. You know? You don't have a butcher

in the same way. You don't have a, you know, at least in our, like, town, in our local area. Like, you've really got to go out your way to go to, like, a butcher or a baker. But you get that fresh, fresh meat. That's good. Yeah, man.

But at the same time, what else are you going to get at this? fucking pre-made prawns in a fucking bowl with some rice or whatever yeah yeah where else you're gonna get the fucking pre-made Swiss roll fucking for 20 pence

yeah where else are you going to get the fucking Ben and Jerry's cream cone ice creamery nah it's not about it no Ben and Joe's it's the fish food is pretty good cookie dough cookie dough is the ultimate of Benjows no yes

without a fucking doubt I think fish food's the best Ben and Jerry's personally. No. I like chocolate ice cream, so I'm a fan of Cocoa Dodo Switcheruny. Is that real? Is that an actual thing? Choco Vanillo switchups.

Right. No, the point is cookie dough. And it's got caramel in the middle, and it's like the red sea in the middle, with the white and the brown chocolate. The red sea, so it's like a you know, that fucking red velvet shit. No, it's

got white on one side. and brown on the other side and goop in the middle. It's a good one. No, that's the shit one. You've got to go, it's like bread. The fucking basic shit is the best. Cookie dough, brownie, boom. You don't even like ice cream, so I'm not going to...

I have a weird thing with ice cream as well, okay? Yeah, because you don't like the consistency changing, and the outside melts and the inside stays a bit more solid, so you don't like eating it. But you don't like melted cheese either, but you like pizza. Like, it's just no logic What, okay, no, the cheese thing is Cheese tastes shit

Cheese is such a horrible thing Why? Dairy, dairy shit, I hate milk, hate cheese, hate all that shit But on a pizza, when you add that Baked Camember, you ever had that? That's shit. With bread.

With bread. With bread. You use bread to dip in the cheese. That's actually dangerous. No, no, hear me out. Cheese. string. Shit. Got one in the fridge if you want one.

Can I have one? No, because I know you like them. Cheese mixed with tomato on a base with some meat. That doesn't taste of cheese. That tastes of pizza. That's why it's good. So you have a problem with the taste

of cheese? Cheese is fucking gross. I had some... Let's make this turn this back to bread. I had some cheese bloomer. Fucking disgusting. Ruin the breads, tasted as shit. And who's to blame?

Cheese. That's mental, man. Cheese. Hang on, can I just put this vehicle in reverse a second? Sure. Go back to your dislike of cheese. Yes. How can anyone dislike the taste of cheese?

It's horrible. It's so nice. And especially when there's like so many cheeses, which cheese is horrible? I hate the taste of cheese. Cheese. Which cheese? What do you think of mild cheddar? That's the worst.

You think mild cheddar is too flavourful. Do you have this weird idea that I just hate things that are flavorful? No, you don't like things that are quite strong. I don't, in any way. Just because I didn't want to eat the cherry pie earlier, it doesn't mean I don't like flavor. All you wanted from the cherry pie was the pastry. The blandest part. The part that is only there to hold the cherry pie.

Cherry. No, because I wanted the pastry to not be overpowered by the cherry, so I wanted a mix, not just a fucking plate of cherry. Lies, what's your dream

meal? What's your, like, absolute dream meal? You know what it's going to be? Bread. Fresh pawns, fresh Italian pizza and bread. Okay That's it

That's all you need Also like a good bit of pasta Jamie's student pastor is really good I don't know if I should take that as an insult That it's student pasta You called it student pasta when you introduced it to me Because you said on this show You said on this show

That any student can make it Instead of eating you know pot noodles and all that shit Well I don't know I'm kind of lying there then Because white wine isn't cheap Yeah but they have Think of the amount of alcohol they drink. They'd have a bit of white wine. But that's a good pasta dish, so maybe add a bit of pasta in there.

Maybe a steak. You see, I'm weird with pasta. I'm kind of like James in the bread regard, but for pasta instead. Whereas I quite like the taste of pasta. Do you? Yeah. See, I think pastas are just gross on its own. No, I won't eat it on its own, but it doesn't.

It doesn't need loads and loads of shit on it, you know? It doesn't need to be... Yeah. Yeah, but it shouldn't be overpowering. The whole, all of the pasta doesn't need to be covered with the sauce. When we go to the Italian restaurant and order a pasta dish, the pasta isn't like just completely covered in sauce, you know? It's got like a light...

Oh, yeah, but they have the experts that it. we're not Italian chefs, so like... Yeah, so I just microwave some fucking... You get your dolmio pre-made pack, and you just throw... What makes all the difference is sprinkling some salt in the pasta water. I'm buying good quality pasta. Are you not frightened of salt, though? I am.

But adding salt to everything, I'm a bit frightened of that. Well, I think I've got... I think I've got lowish blood sugar. Not blood sugar, blood pressure. So, I just eat salt for breakfast lunch and dinner. dinner, to sort of rebalance everything. Yeah, I'm frightened of getting like a detailed, like, blood analysis just to see, like, oh, you really have been doing bad with that, what type of shit?

You know what, screw all that stuff. Just eat good food. It's health not important. Health is important, but when you're a couple of strapping young lads that aren't obese, just a fucking, just eat the shit you. want, eat all the, if you buy a pack of a goose, eat both of them in the same night. Fuck it. Don't matter. I'm not going to lie

that. I haven't done things like that. Many a time, nearly every day, almost. For months I'm. Yeah, that's why I've had my 30 is 30 rule. They're like I can't be held accountable yet

because of course that's so far in the future for me that like for those who don't know what I'm talking about is like, in my mind I've written off my 20s I'm like you know what I'm just gonna do whatever the fuck I want you know I'm gonna the thing is for someone to say that

and still be in the state you are in that's pretty good going what do you mean this state I'm in like to not be just horrendously obese and like a smack addict a boom boom smack addict on the streets no pills or powders and not about that shit it's just about fucking goose and

brownie waffles. Actually, I think sugar is the most addictive thing I've ever come across in my entire life. No, no, no, no, no. Have you ever tried, have you genuinely ever tried not even eating sugar?

No, genuinely. Yes. Because I actually, I think it was last summer a couple summers ago. I was like, I'm not going to try this. And it was, it was honestly agonizing. Because it really makes you realize how reliant we are on sugar

just constantly. Like we're so addicted to it because it is so addictive and you actually get withdraws when you stop eating it. It's weird as well. Okay so what's the withdrawals? Like just intense cravings and like stomach pains and all sorts.

And hunger. Yeah, you'll never satisfy. You have a hunger that you just can't fulfill. It's actually so sick to me how like in the food industry like sugar for some reason is just like fat was the me for so long and sugar was just like fucking ignored like no one cared about sugar when it's like really it's a government man really i think you've got to be more concerned about

sugar than fat yeah because i think your body can deal with fat they're better than it can unless you're eating processed meats like every day yeah obviously that's obviously gonna be bad for you but like no what's weird is we're always told growing up make sure you eat your breakfast before you go and what's the main thing people have for breakfast cereal try and find a cereal that isn't full of sugar yeah you can't you actually and they and they all advertise themselves as um full of fiber like yeah we got all this good shit like special k and stuff still just crammed full of sugar yeah just that's how you wake up it's just fucking shouldn't it messed up to you that like the the information we were taught as kids in primary school about like the food triangle

and shit. It's just wrong. Like, it's actually wrong. Like, the information is false. Like, what we were taught. So, there must be millions of people that really have no clue, no real, like, health education in terms of what the body can actually deal

with and what is healthy and what isn't. Because we're, especially in the UK, we have a real problem with obesity that's on the rise. Yeah, young obesity. Yeah, because it's just so easy. This sort of goes into a thing, I wanted to talk about last week

it's like brainwashing when you're a kid because me and James went into Sainsbury's two weeks ago and we bought loads of sugary shit we did buy loads of sugary shit but we saw this toy for literal babies that was a fake iPhone for a baby to play with really yeah we both saw it

it was a literal fucking iPhone like a toy iPhone of an iPhone or a smartphone as a toy. On top of that, there was... Forget about using your imagination or anything. Yeah, yeah. No, but even stuff that we had when we were kids and stuff like it is still around,

basically loot boxes. We had the Yu-Gi-O card things. You don't know what you're going to get, but there's a chance you're going to get, like, a really rare thing. Yeah, yeah. And the more expensive ones, you have a guaranteed...

really good card and like that's that's gambling yeah and now it's they literally sell loot boxes physical fucking

loop boxes that are called loot boxes for like seven pound you get a fucking plastic toy in it fuck it's weird

and we were talking about it because we were watching Star Wars and we you and I love Star Wars we always have yeah

saw like nostalgia kid thing yeah but I remember you bringing up um like how when we were young Star Wars was everywhere like

yeah that advertising push was crazy yeah way more than now the Phantom Menace push especially was like just next level like it was on everything

I remember vending machines I remember cereals I remember yeah yeah every product you could ever imagine was related to the Phantom Menace so everyone was so extra hyped for it and it gets you like hooked immediately especially a young mind seeing this

thing just everywhere yeah i remember seeing like princess armadala like serial shit and being like oh whoa what's this character what's it's why doth mall is so popular now yeah yeah it's not because it's like it's barely what even does in the movie it's like just the look of him and like the toys and the nostalgia of it is so like powerful to people because it was just everywhere in their lives. It's crazy. And then that that's Fortnite now. You go everywhere, you see fucking Fortnite. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Yeah, well, these kids will be reminiscing about Fortnite in a few decades time. I mean, we say that like it's a bad thing, but I mean... No, it's just like we don't care, but like they will. Yeah. Whatever. Something wrong with it. Oh, Sarah, Sarah. Whatever will Fortnite be, will Fortnite.

And with that said, I suppose we'll be back after these fortnight messages. And with that said, we'll be back after these messages. Hey, it's me, Zeus, the god, my fully endorse the jarmedia merchandise available in the description below. Do you remember when Squibble gets a fort stuck in his throat and he's going, that's an awesome episode. Welcome back to the second half. for the JARCast where we answer

community questions today we're going to go over to Twitter Okay Normally though of course Head over to the JAR Media Reddit There is a thread there

Go and ask You know Whatever you want man Today we're going to start off With this one from Trubentth Legend Truebent

At Trubentth Is on Twitter Any plans to get Any more jar pets In the future Yeah Damn one really son what what are you thinking uh it doesn't matter how like long term but what's

your like dream pets well now that you know when i leave gaius is officially coming with me so he's going to officially become my my boy okay and trying to have another animal when i've got him it's not going to be easy to in yeah kind of so i'm gonna have him for ages but i would would like to eventually possibly get a cat, because I do like cats, even if they've... With Gaius, is that a good idea? No, it's in, no, like, after Gaius. In the future? Yeah.

Oh, that'll be a while, then. Yeah, yeah, it'll be a while. A cat and maybe a lizard or snake. And a bunny rabbit. A bunny rabbit? I like rabbits. They're kind of cute. Jim?

Uh. And a dog and another dog. I kind of want to get a mouse so I can like recreate but Tom and Jerry Who's Tom? Billy. That's just cruel.

She'll just slaughter it. No, she'll like get smacked in the face with a frying pan and she'll be like gong That she'll be funny She'll be cool for Billy Yeah But not at the same time because it's all cartoon silly nonsense I'm definitely at my limit with two dogs

Especially with one of them being a puppy Uh-oh Someone's not gonna be happy For their birthday Oh fuck In saying that though There are a couple more dog breeds I wouldn't mind having

Some point in my life Like a sheep a yinu No Greyhound I don't want a sheep at you Rescue Greyhound Rescue Greyhound I like the idea of

I also That would be what I would get If I were to get another pet Other than Billy Yeah they're Cool. But when I was talking to my mom the other day and she was saying, have you ever seen a puppy greyhound? No.

The fuck does a puppy greyhound even look like? They don't exist. They just come out the fucking funny. They just come out sprinting. They just sprinting. No one even knows how they exist. They just like a court in the wild just running around. They're like Sonic.

They're super adorable. They collect their ring. It's only dogs I'm interested in. Let's be real. Boy, you fucking loser. So it's Greyhound. Alsatian, I think they're really cool, Alsatians. Yeah, but they...

I wouldn't want two dogs at once, though. I'd just want one Alsatian, and that was my dog. If you got an Alsatian, I would probably say, you know, live with Guyas for three weeks, so you're prepared for an Alsatian. Because they're not like Corgi or... Um, Con receiver level dogs. They're a lot more like Collie, kind of high-maintenance more. I don't think they're quite as, like, obsessive.

They're very intelligent, but they're not collie level. Like, collie is the very top, isn't it? Yeah, but it was just... Of energy? Energy and intelligence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're a type of dog where you kind of have to live with them different as compared to, like, a gorgie and that. It's like, your lifestyle kind of has to...

I think it'll be fairly similar to corgi, to be honest, except they'd just be way bigger. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't want a male one. I'd want a female one. Mow dogs are just difficult. Male dogs are... They're quirky, for sure. they're different the yeah

and the last one is some kind of poodle cross thing they're genuinely awesome man like um Ralph the movie maker's dog that thing is awesome that's a really cool dog

um they're really cute as well and they don't shed man like not having to worry about fur is it was what about big a Newfoundland

no that's my dream dog I love found ones it would just drive me nuts also it'll be pretty cool to have a horse do like horses actually no yeah zero interest in my mind my cowboy hat and right around problem with horses though really fucking expensive yeah that's like a real like you have to be properly committed to you need to

stable, you need to take care of that thing, you can't just leave it. Yeah, yeah, it becomes like your main hobby, I think. Yeah. But I mean, if I was rich I just like go and see it whenever I want and I've paid for someone else to do it. Yeah, yeah. Someone else looks

after it and so like once every three months, you're like, I can go look at my horse for a minute. Give my fucking soap vinegar crisp and then fuck off again. You know, and if I had to get a dog, I think I am, like, permanently forced on the collie, like, world now. There's no, I would never get another dog getting in a collie, or collie mix.

Why? Because it's like my first ever dog was a collie mix. I've never got Gaius, and I love everything about Gaius. I love the way collies are. I just don't seem to yourself getting another dog, because I'm very involved in, like, a collie life. Constant walks, it's that non-stop action all the time. And then it's just like, you can't touch him, because you fucking attack you. I'm used to that. It's like...

That sounds horrifying. No. Because it's just like... Don't you want to see what it's like to have like a golden or something? No. Golden retriever. Because I... It's like...

I can't go from like such a top maintenance dog like Gaius to like a fucking Paisley. It's like it wouldn't feel the same to me. Because one is this like... That's what I'm enjoying though about arguing Paisley. To me they are Ying and Yang. they're so different like argues he is that more classic

kind of working kind of animal and Paisley's just a complete sap yeah type so seeing them like interact and like just be polar opposites is a lot of fun for me anything else no

okay big boy Spiro has this to say have any of you ever played a Spyro Spiro game. If not, what is your experience with Mario growing up? I've played Spiro. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've played a Spiro. I remember watching, I think I remember watching, we had our neighbors, Ben and Corey. We'd always watch them play PS2 and stuff.

I swear they had a Spiro game. I remember watching it and being like, this is a baby. Yeah, baby. Probably a bit too old. Lame baby stuff. James, you go on Spiro before we go on to Mario then. I played, I grew up with Spiro, played it a bit. You're not interested in that trilogy?

No, it kind of just, it's a baby. It's a forgettable series. Like, it was a very just... You really going to say that to this Spiro fan right now? No, because it was like a series where it was in that very, that time where it's like a mascot game. Mascot platformers, yeah. Yeah, and it's, the realistic.

truth is they're all kind of bad because Mario exists. Yeah, Mario 64 is the 3D platformer and it just demolished for so long. Yeah, it's better than crash and fucking spira. It's better than Spira. It's better than

fucking like what was Nauty Dog's original one? Jack and Daxter. Jack and Daxter. Which was a Gtieckon at some point. Really? Yeah, Jack and Daxter 2 was like a free-room fucking car stealing and all that.

Honestly, the only other, like, old 3D platformer that I've played, which was quite recently, Banjo and Kazui, that seems like the only competition for Mario 64 in terms of like that quality level. Yeah, yeah. The music stuff is really cool in that game. Yeah. And like the character, the character designs really worked for that era. Yeah. yeah and like the the story's funny

like the the dialogue and stuff because like what was that what was that thing they that Kickstarter game they tried to like ukulelele it was there was something just a bit off

about that to me it was like banjo and kanzui is like yeah that's that works that's right yeah but that new one was a bit like I don't know it's like not almost not modernizing it enough yeah it's just the same thing again but also like

Just the art style and stuff To me is not great Bat and a chameleon It's not the same Bear and a bird It's just funny Bear and Bird is cuter as well Yeah

Experience of Mario Growing up then Mario is Mario is Integral But Mario 1 would have been One of the first games We ever played Yeah because

We We weren't really Aloud consoles really Up until a certain point When my dad just like bought some weird bootleg thing. Yeah, it was like a big leg SNS or something. And it had all these games.

It was like all these demo games. They weren't demo because it was the whole game. Well, no, some of them were like full games. But we played, do you remember we played Contra? But there was no way that was the full game. Are you sure? I think it was the whole game. Remember, it's Contra.

Like, you, you... But people say it's legendarily hard. Yeah. So I think... But we did play it over and over. Yeah. We finished it multiple times. Yeah.

I think we might have had like some cheat thing. Yeah. With Influent lives or something. Yeah. Yeah, so we had this weird console that had... It was just the original Mario, wasn't it? Like, it didn't have two or three on it. Well, when did we play three then?

On the Wii. Because once we had the Wii and it had the virtual thing, we went back and got all the classics. but it started with the original Mario I remember we had this weird game where like we'd have like a punnet of grapes and like every time we'd die we ate a grape

that sounds more like a reward for dying than yeah if you didn't like grapes then it would be a punishment but we were always drawn just naturally drawn towards Mario because even on that list of like just games that were on that weird rip-off console thing that had just every like rom basically of all these old games

it was the best one by far yeah by far yeah the only one that i feel like came close was contra because it was like cool action and you just fight like aliens at the end yeah yeah no and then moving on to the we and stuff like that really opened it yeah for us mary bros three i think i played Mario 64 for the first time on DS Oh did you? You played it on we though Yeah then we got it on we And played like the original version

Well I did I think you were too scared I was never interested in 64 For some reason I was in that like I've already played 3D Mario modern Yeah you played Galaxy

Yeah I think you should go back and play 64 though Do you reckon Yeah I've watched so many speed runs of it. Like, I know the whole game. It's like that Dark Souls thing where I'm so intimately for me of Dark Souls just from videos.

Mario 64 actually has so much. It's unreal. Really? Yeah. Like, there is so much content. Yeah, I have a deep respect for it. But it's not it's not like my favorite Mario.

I think three as I want to see my favorite. That game is so good. It is very good. It's just too hard. I like that I can beat Mario 64 whereas I don't have the patience for Mary Bros. 3

especially to do it legit without like save spamming. Yeah. I mean just out of the old 2D ones I like it a lot although... Yeah, out of the 2D ones I think it is the best Mario game. People would contest with World though, man. We haven't played

World in a long time. Well, I haven't. Yeah. But again... I would like to go back into that one because it's... Yeah. They just had a problem like now they're too easy but they they were too hard do you reckon

those games are too hard too bad at it because like if that's all it like all the kids back then like when it came out they were all right with it no but that's only because like you could buy one game they were more expensive

and the way they made games longer was by making them way harder I guess it's more that the punishment is too cruel like if you run out of lives you're starting the whole game again and that's just boring

you know it's not like you have to do the same level over and over until you can beat it it's you start from the beginning yeah because there's new new 2D Mario games I don't know like they're not they don't scratch that itch no it's weird

Maryborough is wee like it's fine it's weird because they like feel good. Yeah. They don't have that special spice for some reason. No, they don't have that um,

oregano aroma. James, do you have any Mario experiences before we move on? I didn't. Never experienced Mario as a child. Do you like Mario?

Yeah. You can't not like Mario. Like how can someone generally not like Mario? If they like some, Sonic, I guess. Yeah, but that's just because they like Sonic. Like, that's, there's no reason to not like Mario.

It's just they like Sonic. But my only experience, my only experience with Mario is watching you play it. Yeah. Or knowing that you have played it. I was never a Wii person. I was too, I, I, it's like, you played Mario Kart. I did. Because it was a racing game.

It's like, my, Marriott Wee was pretty unfairly. My gaming thing was... No, Marriott Wii is the best Marriott. No, dude. Yeah, it is. That shit was really unfair. They all are.

That's the point. Communism, the game. It's casual baby racing game for babies. Eight is better than Maricott Wee. Yeah. Looks better, feels better. I don't think it's more fair, though. It might be.

I don't think you're forgetting. how bullshit Mary Kotwee was. No, everyone said that because I won every time. No, no, I was fine with that. Well, if I win every time, then how can it be unfair? It means I'm just better than you. No. I don't mean to sound like a dick.

But do you know what I mean? Like, if the same one person wins every time, it can't be that unfair. I suppose, but, I mean, like, I really can't remember. exact specifics about like the intricacies of that game I heard a cool suggestion that like they should do the Smash Bros Ultimate kind of thing but for Marriott and like

instead of it just being a Mario thing just fuck it just have all Nintendo shit just come in that'd be so much cooler yeah they've already done it with like Link and stuff yeah exactly open it up get you know have like an Animal Crossing four stage thing what would they call it Nintendo Cart still call it Mario Card but have like all the

like all the Nintendo shit come in yeah and you could have all super super carbos yeah they're naturally heading that direction anyway so I'll probably get it be reason to actually play the game at dead Quicksilver has a

role play suggestion for us oh no no this one's good role play no no no no no Alex is the Joker Joaquin Phoenix but instead of making it on a talk show he finds himself on the chase Jim is

the chaser I'd recommend the beast but his choice and James is the host I'd prefer to be the chaser though and Jim be the joker I have no I've never seen the chase I can't be the host

I just have to ask general knowledge questions okay yeah just ask a general knowledge question wait so I'm assuming this is the part where um you're kind of building up to that like but no but i mean in terms of the chase

this is one we're going against each other like if i'm joker and you're the chaser because there's the the cash build around oh my god where you quickfire questions and then there's the ABC questions the multiple choice questions okay okay okay

I'm trying to think of a multiple choice question here because there's so much knowledge and I just don't want to Okay, wait Um The beast is just walking out You're the beast

Alright my lovelies You're awful Wait until you see my results Come on Bradley Okay I've got a multiple Choice question for you what famous World War II gun made a Caching noise

This one The beast just got shot in the fucking head Oh dearie, dearie me Awful question So what was the answer I just said that one was Sometimes the ingeniousness of the the role play is funnier than any potentiality of the actual role play.

Yeah, we're not, we're not those fucking assholes that go to like, uh, what's... Improv comedy clubs. Yeah. Hey, I'm wearing this shirt. That's improv comedy. No, improv comedy is this. A lot of improv comedy is pretty shit, though, as well. Yeah.

It's just, like, really obvious, like... really you're really going for it aren't you we'd be great at and there's that thing where it just keeps going escalation of it yeah

well Tom at Futuristic Bagel asks talk about the harvest you the hardest you've ever laughed in your life the hardest you ever laughed in your life um last episode really

yeah it was a good last laugh and a half. That was a good laugh. I've got one where Alex and I were just chilling and our parents were on holiday at the time. Right. And our mum was texting us in like a group chat. Yeah, I remember this. And I have, I can't remember. I forgot about this. But you as a joke and you starred out. the swear words but he said like you fucking bitch

he texted that to my mum and I saw it and I was just like holy shit because like we can have a laugh with our mum but

it never goes to that level because she doesn't like it yeah for you to drop that bomb it's the one time I've ever pushed it that far and it started her whole thing and then you like called her

like I'm just like sorry yeah no because because my dad texting me and was like call her

and apologize did he I didn't know that because he was like she's she's quite upset about this you should probably call her and apologize

I'm like fuck god damn it it's so funny in the moment I know I hate that when it's something that's like

so funny in the moment and then like a few seconds later and reflections think god damn it was worth now yeah it was worth but having to call and be like alright mum sorry sorry about that

it doesn't upset you it's like it's so you as well to just think it's just gonna say that to my mum no but it was very obviously joking oh god yeah I would say oh fucking absolutely but she she's got like her I don't know

what you call self-respect Is that what it is? Standards? Yeah. Sort of, I don't know. Everyone has their own levels with each person. Yeah, yeah. They're willing to kind of accept,

so I don't really blame her for it, you know? No. It's not like there's any grudge being held by any. I don't know. I'd forgotten about it, so. Okay, so that's really funny. If that was Jim's, then what's yours? Because I have, what flashes into my mind is when,

um, I think Jim was there. um we were kids and the butthead and beavers movie was on tv and i don't know he'd probably had just the right amount of sugar at the time being little kids and yeah yeah it's just on tv and there was like a joke about bay watch that was just so funny to me for some reason yeah that it just made me laugh so much i remember that but i've also got another one that involves you and which is it was when we like being not adults because we were still kids but um we were like grown up enough to remember this event and it was our trip to new zealand

and we're with our cousin who it was basically the first time we'd met and he was like playing this hot wheels game and nothing funny happened but we were just sat there and one of us would go and then we just start like crying with laughter do you remember that I and like you saying that has triggered a bunch of memories of like doing that kind of thing yeah but this one in particular and like

then we'd sort of calm down a bit and then the other one we go yeah and then it would trigger it all again and it would be like such intense laughter Like it actually hurt My face hurt from laughing so much And like I was out of breath Yeah like I remember

Playing that video game Worms with someone On like PS1, PS2 And like just thinking it was so funny Yeah Oh fuck I just have a memory Care to share

Um Okay I feel sad over this memory Because You know fail army Oh fail army they do this like compilation of animal foals

and there was this one fucking dog clip that I saw it and I I scream laugh for about 10 minutes because I found it so fucking funny and because I was finding it's so funny I was laughing at my own fucking funny like laughing and it was

the greatest moment of my life and I have no idea what the dog clip is there's something about that humor that it just catches you in a certain way that it becomes just a cycle Yeah. No, I had this, this, when I was in sick form, and I, I'd realized I sort of hated school. Many nights, I just, I discovered Key and Peele. Yeah.

And I ended up on the, um, Loron Can't Laugh. Uh-huh. And I remember at like, it must have been like one in the morning, watching it on a laptop or phone. and just like try it because there's that thing when um you're not meant to be laughing loudly it makes it much funnier and you've really got to try and hold it in and i was just like holy fuck this is fucking so hilarious yeah it's like you actually can't resist it yeah i remember that happening a lot where there were certain people in like secondary school that could really crack me up um yeah and in certain classes where like you weren't allowed to laugh and they'd

something funny and it was like fuck i remember this i did that a few times like laughing when it's completely silent yeah and like i just kept like just laughing and then everyone just like ignoring it and being like what was he laughing at i remember getting in trouble because there was this kid back in key day amir oh yeah and he was doing this thing where um he was sat on this tiny stool and then he'd stand up and lift the chair up and go moo and he pretended the chair legs were udders and he was like moking and I was I found that so fucking hilarious

and the like people looking after us in Key Day yeah like you got really pissed off that I was finding it so funny and it's like it's a fucking he's making a joke and I'm laughing I can't choose what's funny yeah So then I got in trouble for it And he kept doing it And I was just sat in this dark fucking Dying room

Just wetting myself with laughter If I do remember I think Because we were in MASH class together Quite a few years And if I remember Most of our lessons We'd just sit laughing

Over fucking random shit Yeah Yeah Did you ever get dangerously close To peeing yourself from laughter Yes I've peeped I remember that having a few times

In primary school In early secondary school Being like man I think I just felt a bit of urine shoe out because I was laughing so much No that's happened I It's almost like It's kind of euphoric in a way

Because it's like So many happy endorphins are released When you're constantly laughing And then it's like it's an unbelievably pleasurable piss It's strange Because you're just so fucking tense But there's also the Oh

Lime moment where you're like Fuck I gotta go to the toilet now And it suddenly stops being funny I missed us I just want to remember this dog clip one That's just that's all I want Please help me Find this dog clip

I can't give you anything I used to love that dog clip of that dog That like runs towards that Like ball And then it like Does a huge fucking multiple It's a charmie It's a thumbnail

Yeah I think I put it in my last HGD video too There's that really Classic internet YouTube cat video where it tries to jump over a baby gate yeah oh my god I forgot it smacks it

yeah man that's a good video oh boy we need to watch animal fails again that is such a like old school cat video that was huge that was like early YouTube shit man I've forgotten about that I can picture it so clearly in my mind

I can picture I could probably draw it really well from memory yeah like because I watched it that many times That iconic. Awesome video. Dude. Boy, we need to watch some Fair Army videos. Please, just go.

That Fail Army video with that like, nearly naked woman, like diving. And it's got like 50 million views or whatever just because of the thumbnail. Yeah. Geniuses. Whoever Failure. Geniuses. That's sort of it for this episode. Yeah, that's sort of it for this episode.

Yeah, thanks for tuning. in and supporting us and leave more comments and questions on our Twitter and Reddit and catch us on the next Angry Joe show and see on the next one Cowboys

See you on the next one Cowboys See you on the next one boys Guys let's go watch our Fail on me dog fails I need this humour in my life