JAR Media Posdact - Eagle Brothers Brawl - JARCAST Episode 207

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

Condor vs Eagle vs JAR? Who wins? https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies  

Good afternoon, morning, evening on night. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Alex, and I am the host of this here, Jarkast. Do you think that fart was picked up? I would just seem to say. We come not live to you every Monday. at 6 p.m. Until maybe one day we are. 6pm UK time that is.

We go... Central Eastern. A couple of boys come together and we just you know talk about nothing really. You know, we just come together and do a bit of this, bit of that. I already said, I'm Alex, the host of this episode joined by...

The order's a little bit different this time on the sofa for the video version. Yeah, don't make no difference. Got the Master of Reloads himself, Jim. Yeah, don't make no difference. And the passionate nap. over there yeah passionate how do you feel about the little intros you have playing around I want to change mine okay to what then I so up to you okay so you

see I maybe the jarlings could think of some some no I want you to come up with one the bling bling boy himself the Johnny test fan himself yeah want to mention how last episode instantly got flagged because I made a joke about a certain American yeah

I can't even say it because it would just get flagged again which is ridiculous like it for we'll get flagged yeah boys up America it was either that or it was the fact that boom was in the title boom I guess that incites violence smack is quite violent a smack is more

The last two did and they both have something boom Something boom related, I'm pretty sure. If memory serves, which it doesn't. I'm kind of upset that the boom boom smack is being censored. That's a great passionate passion. Before we delve any deeper into this madness, I'd like to shout out the Patrions over at Patreon. Let's give them a yeah.

The patrons. Let's give them a boom, boom. smack. Boom, boom, smack. The support makes the audio version possible. And, you know, just support us, dude.

We need help, okay? We've got big things in the pipeline, things that will change your life. So please subscribe. How long can we keep saying that and just not deliver anything? What do you mean, we, the only person is James?

No, we've been saying, we've been like saying big things are coming for like years. This was a big thing. Yeah, this is a big thing. what they got? Obviously every episode is a big thing. It's a big deal for us. We congregate and we speak and all this stuff. We order

fucking... It's just maybe maybe in a few episodes time when the Patreon money is saved up, there might be like a Dyson fan in the corner or something. Joking, of course. We only bite two instead of one. I think the only the only real

huge purchase we've made with the Patreon money is the... When our audio interface pooped itself and the lighting and the lighting yeah otherwise we have like our pot and we use it for smoking

not funny dude that was funny dude we use it when the time is white when the time is nigh we use it to on jar you know to upgrade it and all that yeah to on jar

I had a I hate this topic that I'm about to bring up okay it's normally something that like really annoys me when people bring it up but I feel like this one is interesting enough to be justified in that is I had a one of the strangest dreams I've ever had in my life

last night oh please allow me not just not just like strange but so bizarre that it's it's it's vivid in my in my mind and you know what my memory's like I move on quick I don't I don't linger on a lot of these things um so you have to bear with me as i describe what happened in the story but picture this i'm just there i'm chilling and i come across a baby monk baby uh gorilla you know cute little baby gorilla yeah um and i kind of take it in i take care of it because what's a what is a baby gorilla doing in the UK you know what I mean the fuck is this baby gorilla doing take it in take care of it kind of like a reverse

reverse Tarzan type thing. This is all real, by the way. This is this happened in the dream. In a kind of more abstract way. I'm just adding a bit of like details to it. But it led to a point where this baby gorilla grew a little bit and it attacked Argi. Oh no.

It attacked Argue. It didn't, you know, fatally injured, but it did injure him. And it meant, well, I can't really keep this baby gorilla anymore, can I? Um, this isn't a funny dream, by the way. I woke up, like, with my heart pounding, like, fucking, like, crazy. I was so scared. Uh, no, because it devolves quick. So I had to get rid of the, the, the, this baby gorilla somewhere.

Like, you know, like, uh, this is just like that, um, Steven Spielberg movie, AI. But instead of it being like a robot boy, it's a baby gorilla in a nappy. Um, so yeah, I tell, I, it was in a nappy. It was in, it was in, it was wearing a napi. I might have added that bit I'm not entirely sure but cut to

imagine a picture the scariest long road you can imagine with you know trees like covering it either side creepy imagery just a long straight road at night in the dead of night

the only light source coming from my car and its headlights I'm driving down It's all abstract and weird and dreamlike This fucking baby gorilla sat next to me in the side seat Just you know doing whatever they do Then In the middle of the road

I see a Like a properly eviscerated horse Like a big horse Imagine the most gruesome thing you can imagine Like a horse that had just been like kind of ravaged Just there on the middle of the road, but because it was in a dream

and you don't react like normally, like like the real me lying in bed acknowledged like this is getting weird now but in the dream I just like curved around it and just kept going down the creepy road I just kept driving

the horse wasn't a fucking signed yeah so me like like maybe this is what sleep paralysis is because me lying in bed like knowing like don't keep going you don't see something like that because like it was like really detailed in my mind I've got a pretty good imagination

I played a lot of Red Dead and throwing lots of dynamite horses I know what they can look like um so yeah so then in my mind I was kind of thinking like what the what the what could the culprit of this horse destruction be

and this is when it gets really freaky is that go down the road some more and then pack of wolves I'm not sure if they are wolves or like wild dogs or something but like in dreamland like rabid animals are incredibly frightening so imagine four or five wolves or dogs or whatever they were beasts you know serious black type kind of dreamlike you know horrific mammals

big ass dog like not just attacking you know like a normal wolf would There's some strategy, like, as a collective, like, I'm talking, like, rabid, like, so manic they're, like, biting onto the car and, like, biting whatever they can get their mitts on. And it was so frightening at that point that the, it was, it was just like a movie where one of them went into my vision in the way that it was like, it came into my vision, filled my vision, then I woke up. terrified that sounds I'm trying to connect how the gorilla has anything to do with the horse

I thought what do you think it means nothing you think it has no meaning I don't think it has any meaning because there's not enough like signs of like a deeper meaning I think the gorilla represents Paisley

why like an unknown entering the house and causing danger but she didn't do that she did the opposite yeah the danger was argi to paisley yeah I think the gorilla

represents argi so argi's the fat little gorilla gorilla baby yeah and you just hurt paisley no this theory holds no water I'm afraid no that's the only theory that does work

see if you're not like googled it if you're not trying to find any By Google, what do wolves in dreams mean? Yeah, but you're not going to get any real... Yeah, because the result was like something was so stupid. Yeah, yeah. It was like... Well, it could mean that you're really happy,

but it could also mean you're really sad. Thanks. Thanks to Google. Wow, that really resonated with... Yeah. You can just project whatever you want. No, dreams don't mean shit. Do you think that's true?

that they don't mean shit they don't mean shit you think there's nothing no nothing no what are they then what is a dream I think some dreams apart from being a PlayStation 4 game what is it

dreams oh dreams I think they can be relevant to a situation but I don't think they can be like some answer you need to find that you don't know I'm not saying it answer but like why

why why do we dream why do we dream such bizarre things like that isn't the thing behind it where sometimes your brain manifest things that you're too afraid to approach in your actual day to day life and it's like those emotions being expressed through dreams but if that was the case what does what I just

described to you like admit not every dream has to to be like that though sometimes you'll just dream random shit because you're dreaming random shit it doesn't have to have any deeper meaning at all we'll see what the jarlings think about that one baby gorilla mystery I've had terrible dreams still do I always get really vivid visceral dreams every day every day on a regular basis yeah know being chased by giant pizzas is a common run in my life and it's a horrifying one.

Is that like quite a common thing to just dream about giant versions of inanimate objects chasing it? Food specifically. Yeah. Why, but you love pizza? I know. And that's, I don't know. You could just turn around and just start feasting. What could it do?

I don't know, but it's just like a dream I've had ever since I was young. It's just like giant food chasing me. That's why James loves bad pizza so much. Yeah. Because you can defeat it. Get revenge. Comeuppance against the Pizza

Papa John Then it's the falling one I get constantly as well I've always loved that falling dream Yeah Because you wake up and you're like Whoa I just feel like I've been falling Like it actually feels like it's pretty neat

I remember like whenever I was a kid And I had that dream I was kind of like Yeah But as it woke me up Why have they be jerking off Maybe once I woke up Then it'd be like Well right then

um no i don't like falling dreams i love them they're so weird they're great you know the one i mean when you're jolt up and it's like ooh i don't like that bit i like the bit of one no i like the oh jolt like bit no i don't like any of it i i don't like being in peril but you're not in peril that's what makes it it's like in a roller coaster like your body is releasing adrenaline because it's like, oh my God, I'm being flung around this track that's going

like miles in the air and like doing loopty loops and all this but you know, you're strapped down and as long as it's secure you're all right and when you're in your bed like sure there might be a bed bug or two but apart from that most dangers in the civilised

world won't be too harsh I think that the most danger that the modern generation holds is the mind itself. Yeah, especially if you have dreams like mine. Fuck it out. What's scarier?

The moment before you knew what had done that to the horse, or before the horse was even involved in the gorilla. The moment I saw the horse, I was like, shit, this dream just took a turn. It's going to be one of those dreams. Because the start is like, this could be a funny dream. Like, this could be going somewhere, like, quite humorous. You know, like how many

How many scary movies start With a little baby Gorilla in a nappy? Not many You said it might not have been in a nappy Well I think that adds like A level to it

It does Because there's something cute about these tiny little Like baby apes Are baby gorillas tiny Yeah They're probably like the size of like a baby No They'll be bigger than a baby

No, not that much bigger. Yeah, but imagine a baby, but instead of being like a pink little, like, pathetic thing, it's like, got hair. And it's probably good at clinging. Because they cling on to the mama, don't they? A gorilla. I love guerrillas. They're awesome. Yeah, gorillas are cool, but they're scary.

I wouldn't want to mess with one their way. I think apes, monkeys and all that stuff. It's scary. In the ape, like, scariness ranking, though, I don't. feel like gorillas there's something kind of majestic about them where it's like a baboon it's like baboon is like chaotic where it's like yeah you don't know what that motherfucker's gonna do next but guerrillas got like just power you know they're just they're just these like ripped guys that just walk around no they're not though they're like they're all dads but it's

dad power dad power yeah yeah dad pure dad power power Yeah. You see them walking around. They've got, they've got a bit of that, like, kind of bamboo gut shit going on. Yeah.

But, like, that's what I mean. But you see their fucking arms. Their arms are like, they're like, arny bodies. Just naturally.

Yeah, they're huge. Can you imagine if they, like, evolved, like guerrillas evolved into like the, to be as intelligent as humans and they started like working out,

like how they, how strong they could get. Yeah. I can't remember what I was watching, but they said, Like, gorillas have never been taught, like, workout plans and dieting and stuff. So what if they had, like, protein shakes and... They'd be huge.

Think of the wok, but just, like, even just being insane, and be like, what? If they had, like, human intelligence, they would enslave us, like, instantly. And we wouldn't be able to do anything. No, we'd just be funny things that climb around in cages. no we'd be like the funny little pink guys that just run around like in pure terror because like eating fucking brownies and shit i was thinking about that today how like we are so outmatched by certain animals like on a physical level yeah like one-on-one with a gorilla like you really don't stand a chance even if you're like a strong like fit guy like dude if you're going up against like a silverback gorilla or even like a pit bull or something like that like Yeah, but even like a horse, a horse, horses are prey. Yeah, or think about like a, like a bull. Yeah.

One of my other great fears. Big bovine fucking monsters. Like pure, purely naturally, humans are very, very pathetic. Yeah, hell yeah. We fucking jump down some stairs and break our legs and we're fucked. Everything took a backseat to the, the brain? Brain and the thumbs,

the hands. Yeah, but I mean, raccoons can fucking do that. No, because, no, but we, yeah, obviously, like, the brain is the,

the most important bit because we can, like, engineer or, like, weapons, we can, we can sharpen a rock and attach it to a stick, and then suddenly,

we have basically fangs, don't we? Or, the better than. Or claws, yeah. Yeah, something that is restricted to our body or whatever.

But that, this is partially why I am so, deeply frightened of dinosaurs um no it's like a you know when you are so frightened of something that you kind of have to

inherently respect it I don't think like just picture how truly frightening it would be to have this like 12 foot just monster just looking at you and it's moving around like a

fucking bird tilting its head all creepily dude there's not there's like the most horrifying thing to me and it's just like probably toys with you a little bit and then just you're just gone yeah that's not that creepy

don't fuck it like you'd be the first of shit yourself of a fucking you'd shit yourself a doloffosaurus dude oh you're gonna just tell me what dilophosaurus is now well there's even that scene in the second

drastic part with those little guys and the bigger those would be what get me? Yeah. The little goes. The compies. What? In the Jurassic Park universe, I think they call them

compies, because they're called, I think Compagnathus, something like that. Compis. Compes. Compes. Obviously, whatever it is, all the dino fans out there must be just shaking in their boots at my... You're a dino fan.

There was a... Yeah, there was one I said, a dinosaur name I said. on a cast and someone was like your pronunciation is completely wrong and God it's annoying me very much Is it clitosaurus? Clitosaurus

It was quite a difficult one It was an iguanodon that's easy Archaeopteryx Maybe was that one This is such bullshit It's not bullshit These are real creatures

that have been discovered What's that? Yeah, Archaeopteryx is a little bird one. The fucking... On the clitoris episode, did you come up with that on the spot? I did, yeah. That was an awesome maybe. Sounds.

If I was, like, you know... But I'm sure I googled something along those lines and it's actually a thing. It's not a real, don't... No, because wasn't I trying to, like, convince you that it was real or something? me. Yeah. No, I'm proving you might clit it. Maybe it was

Diononicus was the one people had a problem with? I don't know, it doesn't matter. Irrelevant. Yeah, who cares what they think? They're just the Vox Populi. I think there's one called, like, the Titanosaurus. How cool is that? It's a bit on the nose. No, but like, when you actually see

what the monster is, it's like, okay, if anything earns that name, it's that. What is it? It's just like a monstrous creature. Is it a land one or a water one? A land one, I believe. If I even have this correct. What, like a T-Rex sort of deal?

Or more like a four-legged. If it's the one, I might be conflating dinosaurs right now, but there's this certain one that has these really weird, like, long claws, like weirdly looking, just a weird thing. They're all pretty weird, to be honest. yeah but it's when they have these like arms with like fingers yeah like birds like with their wings there's something kind of cool and you know already used the word majestic but birds are majestic they're nice but you look at the like

skeletal structure and they do have like fingers don't they yeah it's creepy well like even the the way like the terex has these like tiny little arms with a couple fingers on them little hands that are useless they were wings like the same way of penguin has wings but they're not four wings. It's just possible yeah with the like feather thing if they were covered in feathers maybe their arms were just covered in feathers

and they look really stupid. Like that thing that made them look like because yeah there's that there's that meme of like we only can make educated guesses based on the bones we found so we don't actually

or the fossils because they're not actually yeah you're correct bones you know so they could have had like layers of like

fat or like they could they could look really weird I know the you're thinking yeah yeah it looks like a fat bird yeah they could be like

I don't know if that would be scarier though like just a massive bird with teeth yeah just fucking with you a chubby a funny chubby bird just fucking your shit up

like and what how do you like even think they sounded because big things have like a creepy noise yeah oh

how did how did the T-Rex sound wha Mizo on Oonga buddy oh buddy they probably

had like a super high pitch voice what fuck is a horrifying titanosaur no like you can't even comprehend the shit they'd be the level they can though because the scariest animal actually exists and that's a fucking alligator crocodiles are scarier than alligators no aren't alligators the worst ones

no crocodiles are scary what is the main difference between there's such saligators have like a thin long mouth. That's what I always thought, but the alligators like in Red Dead, they just look like crocodiles to me. They're quite chunky. They are quite chunky.

I honestly don't know the difference. But I believe that is the main difference. In my head, that's what I remember the difference being. Crocodiles have like a huge jaw that just sort of goes to a point. Whereas I think alligators, it like goes in and then out at the end. But surely that's what?

we might have it the other way round I just googled alligator and it does just look like a red dead MF like a chunky No they're fucking horrifying Yeah I'm with you on that Like yeah but these things were like Around when the dinosaurs are around

They're so ancient because they're just so ultimate Like what can you do against it Armoured they're basically armoured You can't fucking pierce them because they're just steal They have the quickest reaction so it's actually kind of scary

they tear flesh by clamping down with their ridiculous mouth, then just spinning. I thought that was exclusive to crocodiles. The crocodile death roll. Yeah. Do alligators do that as well? I'm not an expert. This is the thing about the jar cast.

We don't know what we're going to talk about, so we do literally no research. Yeah. I mean, we don't know anything at all. Crocodile. Yeah, we're a little. learning along with everyone else but isn't like the force of their like jaw like so fucking powerful they'll just like shatter bones it's only powerful one way there or something like

they can they can close it with great power but they can't open it so these crocodile like wranglers like steve irwin you could hold the jaw shut because they didn't have the strength to open it but then they just go like that instantly yeah you don't want it to get caught in a mouth to one of those guys. Okay, I can confirm that crocodiles are scarier than alligators. Why? That's the comparison image. Top one being...

Yeah. Alligators are much more like smooth. Yeah. Crocodiles look closer to the original design. What did you Google to find that image? Crocodile alligator difference. There you go. So if you want to see that image...

Snout shape. Alligators have wider U-shaped. shaped snouts, while crocodile front ends are more pointed and V-shaped, like I said. Yeah, I thought it was something like that, but I remember always getting them mixed up as a kid. Oh, so alligators, the upper jaw, is wider than the lower one. So when they close their mouth, their teeth are hidden. Whereas, um... I think the teeth always being present is a bit scarier.

Yeah, crocodiles have that sort of underbite. Yeah. And you see, you see there's, like, ballsy birds that go over and the crocodiles sit there with their mouths open and they just clean their teeth for them. God damn. You've got to have some balls to do that. This little fucking bird just like, I'll have a nibble on this tartar. Why would a crocodile not just chow? Because I guess the energy that it would get from it, it's like, it's getting more from its teeth being clean than the tiny morsel it would get, the tiny chicken nugget it would get from one bite.

Because it could just go and then kill a deer or something, and then it would be... What do they fucking, like, eat then? Everything. Yeah, anything that comes, like, uh, the one Jim and I saw in Australia at the Australian zoo, um, killed, like, Aborigines, like, like, children. Like, it killed, like, countless children and they, they caught it and put it in the zoo. They would, dude, they're, they are monsters. Yeah.

you gotta stay away from those things like fuck going to Florida or anything like that where these like you just get an alligator in your in your garden you know you know in like Florida that you do those um like boat rides over that shit I did one of them and thinking now I'd be fucking terrified because it's like yeah one of those fuckers can be somewhere and it's like fuck because they would they would fucking pier as a hole in a boat if they fucking tried I mean I believe it I ain't going near them That, like, scale thing, like, there's a, there's a thing that happens in Red Dead 2, but there's, like, a huge alligator.

And when that first happened, I was like, I don't know if I can do all this right now. This is pretty intense. Did you see the footage in Florida? It was like a golf course. And someone had just filmed this alligator that was like, just huge, like the size of a car. Just walking along. Not like high-wise, but like... Because they can sprint, too.

You've seen them sprint. Yeah, they do the full, like, their legs go 360. Imagine seeing one of them as it starts doing that towards you. Like, imagine the fucking fear. Because, I don't think you can out one one. The size, they could fucking... That's your only chance. I think they're good at, like, short bursts.

Yeah, they can't zoom. They're not, like. No, but it's like scary because it's like people in Florida. Like, they just like fucking pick them off and put them in people's pools. It's just like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, if you're from Florida, let us know. But in the meanwhile... Isn't there that whole, like, legend of...

Hang on. We back off to... These messages. These nuts. Hey, party, me, Argi. Me have shirts for sale. Send the description below. Welcome back to part two.

What are you saying, James, for air to... Isn't there that legend that people flush some, like, alligators down the toilet in Florida and they, like, lived in the sewers or something? That's quite like an American urban legend thing, like crocs in the sewers and all that.

That's scary, though. Alligators. Do you believe it? I don't know. I reckon they could. Yeah, why not? I've played Resident Evil, too. I know what's living down there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I'm scared of most animals, if I'm being honest. Um, I'm... I'm... I'm... Terrifying. That seagull was... Seagulls are fucking freaky as fuck.

But again, that's sticking to the sort of bird realm. You know? I'm not scared of dogs. Like, not scared of dogs at all. In the right circumstance, you'd be scared of a dog. Yeah. The white circumstance is my dog. I'm not scared of him. I don't know, man.

Like, just like a random dog. going for you forget about it I'm sorry kick it in the face could you be scared of a hamster in the correct scenario yes what about a goldfish

because I don't I have two major fears obviously being injured but the more intense fear for me is like some kind of weird disease thing yeah that's why I don't like that's why I was scared of the seagull because it was like

yeah sure I had this razor sharp beak that was snapping at me but it's the chance of it carrying some horrifying disease and not only just snapping me but giving me something as well on top of it is the final sort of hurrah for those you don't know what I'm talking about

there was like a seagull stuck in an outhouse basically bar donna bathroom yeah where bar donna was yeah yeah that's the energy of bar donna cursing that sort of that seagull to attack you I'm not very scared of like turtles I saw some nice turtles yeah but then snapping turtles exist

yeah true those are monsters fuck snapping turtles man fuck those things they have like mouth so sharp they can like bite your finger off No did you see the video it was that guy that was doing all the different like insect bites

Ah what is he called something wilderness Brave? Brave, brave wilderness We were watching him to try and get out the most fucking powerful fucking sting that I was obsessed with that channel for a different video he like armed up his arm and then let a snapping turtle bite his arm and it like bit through the armor

and like into his flesh it completely fucked his armor they're not even that big you know some of them can be pretty huge like think about where the power is it's in their head which is like that big

but they're just engineered to have a ridiculous bite so they can just instantly kill like fish that swim near them yeah man mother nature's got some powers man mother nature's got some abilities mother nature has some let alone what horrifying things exist in the bottom of the ocean

we don't even know about yeah it's messed up dude the fact that like a giant squid can exist is like the most fucked up thing yeah and like people didn't even know if they were real yeah until like it wasn't it like the 90s

yeah yeah I remember when that happened if not later yeah it might be a nighter actually wasn't it in New Zealand one washed up on a beach or something yeah I think that happened after there was like a confirmed modern yeah because it is like this weird like myth

where they were finding these humpback whales with all these like weird marks on them yeah from like the suckers of a giant squid and like for anything to like it implies size just for like it's a whale like what is bigger than a whale in the ocean like it doesn't get bigger than that and then suddenly

there's always a bigger fish why does it have to be a squid as well I need to check that it's scary like a giant turtle or something that'd be awesome yeah something chill as fuck but it had to be a squid and they got those like beaks in the middle and their eyes

oh my god yeah that was a fear I had as a child but like um squids because old like books like the nemoy kind of books with the the porthole and they look through

and there's just a fucking huge eye of a squid or something that's terrifying to me see the finger of squids is like when you see them like on land they don't look that intimidating but in the water when they're like tentacles

are fucking actually like power behind them that actually just fucking horrifying because they will like grab you and like just fucking like yeah because they've evolved to be apex in their their realm you know we've evolved to be apex on land it's just like a completely different ballpark in the ocean you think if you go to the bottom of the ocean there's like a city of squids and they're like have you seen those disgusting land creatures oh they're horrifying their fingernails make me want to vomit yeah

They're fleshy mouth. You know, they've got hairs in their nose. What's the nose? Yeah, because I suppose they didn't really have hair, do they, so to them, it's like... Does anything in the ocean have hurt? To whales or dolphins not have some kind of hairy thing, they're mammals? Their teeth are, like, brushes. Their teeth are teeth brushes.

Do you think they have, like, toothbrushes with normal teeth on them? Brush their teeth with teeth Brush their brushes with teeth You can't man You can't doubt the power of Mother Nature Isn't like isn't like the science that we've like Explored like fucking 20% of the oceans And it's just like there's like a whole level

Deep fucking below Yeah it's what the movie The Meg is all about Yeah well the megalodom is a real thing I've seen one of the skulls still could be around. Well, I'm never saying never, like. Jason Statham, like, exists for a reason. We need him on the off chance.

Yeah, he was a diver as well, wasn't it? Can you imagine if, like, a real Megalodon was discovered, and then it was like, we got to get it. No, but, like, Jason Statham goes and kills it. And I was like, dude, you've just, like, killed this, like, priceless fucking, yeah. A really rare creature Because in reality

I wouldn't swim around Like going to beaches like Jaws trying to kill people No, just eat whales or whatever It's like James Cameron is like obsessed Like the movie director at Avatar He's obsessed with the deep ocean Yeah

He's like one of the people that's gone the deepest In the world Because it's just like his passion He's fucking fascinating though It's fascinating from like up here you know but like if there was a megalon

like out there somewhere like how the fuck does it survive because with a body that big how can it eat enough to sustain itself well who knows what's down there yeah the oh I lost it no I had a dinosaur name I forgot

really cool one it was like it was the it had four flippers and it was in walking with dinosaurs have four flippers and it was like massive it's a creepy thing man it's got like a crocodile head is it the one you've drawn yeah you drew and it's like lypluridon

someone like that you're definitely asking the wrong people to confirm your dino I'm just putting it out there so you know the dino fan's not what I'm talking about yeah I know the one that might actually be creepier and a lot of the like no no it's not creepier because you can avoid going in the ocean you can't avoid being on land if you're a you know human

And you can't avoid being in the sky Because then they're up there as well Forget about the flying dinosaurs too Like some of those It's just like it's just horrifying The world's a horrifying place You think it was all science experiment Gone Wong

And they had to like nuke it to fucking reset the progress Oh that's a good theory That you can have a big nuke To make the most of the crater in Hawaii or whatever I think nearly every animal Is capable of being scary to me Nah. Goldfish.

They have creepy teeth. Shut the fuck. A big goldfish doing that weird fish thing. No, it can't be a big goldfish because that's not a thing. Yeah, they can do that to anything. It'll be scary. Yeah. A pig argie.

Not scary at all to be fair. Rabid corgi, that'll be frightening. No, it wouldn't. Like, goldfish can be weird, man. They can be huge. That's not real. They could be fucking huge, man. No, like, fish are freaky as well.

Like, the more you think about every animal, the freakyer they become. Like, we haven't even mentioned insects. No, they don't even go there because they are all terrifying. No, they're not. No, let's think of an animal. Bumblebees. They are scary. Yeah.

Imagine a bee this big. No, that's not the question. No, because in dinosaur times or, well, you know, in millions of years, ago they had giant like dragonflies like the size of this fucking sofa just flying around that is horror shit right there no bumblebees scare me because they have the potential to deal damage now hornets are actually more scary than more yeah hornets are much scary than bees no doubt but any anything that has the potential to deal damage I'm afraid of so most animals then no

um an ant yeah they can bite you ants can fucking bite you there are those ones the brave wilderness guy was bitten by like an ant an english black ant have you know they can bite you have you never bitten by one yeah the red ants are the bad ones

yeah the red ones bite you know that's what I mean like a red one a black one will bite you and it'll be like a little just poke it's just horrible though it's like on you and it's like you know what fuck you I'm just gonna bite you start eating you well I mean it's not eating you

Well, it's like God of Water that thing. He's on this giant... It's taking down the Titans. He's like... You just go like that and it's gone. Ants aren't scary. There's little black fucking ants. That one species, not scary, but there are some horrifying ants out of it.

I completely agree. That fucking ants are horrible because I remember one night sports day. I sat on like a red ant's nest. Fucking my entire leg got a bit into fuck and it was a slight. Yeah, red ants are horrible Every day I saw them I was fucking terrified for my life Because they fucked me up

Okay, other animals then Um Honey badgers Pelicans Scary Pelicans Have you seen in those videos Of like pelicans

Just eating other birds They're just And there's just like a live bird In its weird Like mouth thing Just like trying to escape Why are you bringing up Something that's obviously

Really scary Because I'm Trying to think of stuff That isn't scary You want to think of things that aren't scary Starfish No they're creepy

You can cut it's like one of its legs off And it grows back It was not leg Whatever the fuck it is What the fuck is it Why is that scary That is fucking free It's not scary

It's free Well then don't cut its goddamn leg off It cuts its own leg off Spider crabs Scary Yeah that's not scary Uh No no

Okay I'll stop listing things that are scary Penguin It's scary Robbins The bird They're not scary we fuck off. No, I'm saying they're not scary.

We're trying to say things that aren't scary. I'm trying to find an animal that isn't scary. Yeah, robins aren't scary. Red robins. Yeah. And penguins. Squirrels aren't scary. I reckon an emperor penguin could be scary.

No, but like a chill penguin. Yeah, there's little New Zealand penguins. Yeah. Kiwis. Kiwi bird. Yeah. Least threatening animal. The high.

The high? The high. Oh, koalas aren't scary. Oh, yeah, that's true. Kangaroos Fuck no, they are fucking unbelievably scary I've pet a kangaroo

Yeah, same Uh, like There are a few mammals Actually like Capybaras They're pretty nice Yeah I don't think I'd be scared

Of them Male Funny-faced monkey baboons They're the scariest Of all Are they but Is it

Is it not babbit orangutang They're fucking horrifying No The Arangetang is With the nice face I really like orangutans. I really like orangutans.

No, they're scary though. No, they're cool. They just sit there. You know? But their weird disc moon face. Yeah. Staring. And like they've got no hatred or anything.

They just... Yeah, do you remember seeing them in Jersey Zoo? Well, apparently they terrified me when I was a kid. Wait. Yeah. Because they're seeing... Seeing something like that as a child. It's like, this is like just wrong. This environment.

Like, it's just, I should not be seeing this right now. Yeah, I must have thought it was a human. Because it's gone, no, because you can look them in the eyes and you're like, there's something going on there. Yeah. Like, that's a, that shit is like. That, the, the orangutan that scared me, um, at the time was probably smarter than I was. Yeah. Yeah, probably.

Which is crazy to think about. Because can't, I don't know if I'm just conflating, um, like, that fucking movie. can they actually learn sign language I'm pretty sure guerrillas can yeah guerrillas can I know guerrillas can because there's that one the genie went and met Robin Williams

is that famous gorilla yeah and that would like watch movies and would like cry no when sad parts of a movie would come on it would like turn away and stuff like that because it couldn't watch it because it would get too sad yeah and uh it I think it was given a cat

and it accidentally killed it and it was like so devastated Did I accidentally kill it? Yeah And then it was like Please give me another one And then the gorilla was depressed It's like

It's like a George from It's too strong for it As we're saying It's just too powerful Poor gorilla Did it actually kill it I don't remember that being the story You're sure the cat just didn't die

And it was just really upset Because it died And they got a new one for it Because I swear I've seen a video With like a kitten or something yeah the gorilla killed the kitten you serious i'm pretty sure well the nature's brutal man yeah well yeah like it never interacted with a kitten yeah it was testing its limits what if i just twist it probably a little sniff a little bit and then he was like wait what have i done

please give me another one i won't twist it oh dude It's got to be like another animal that's not scary Something that isn't a mammal Guinea pigs aren't scary That's a mammal Yeah And also imagine a rabid one Yeah lots of little loads of rabid ones

Loads of them get a hoard Did you know fucking guinea pigs vibrate when they're happy Do they? They fucking like actually vibrate They quite like them as creatures They're really cute get one I don't

fucking want one no design like a whole system so in the background there's just like of the set there's just tubes

of like different rodents like a guinea big tube the rat tube mouse tube man not a rat tube rats are quite intelligent apparently

I was I was talking to a um like pest control person like months ago yeah and I was like yeah I didn't have I could ever do your job because like I just hate rats so much and he was

like you know a lot of people say that but when when you see this giant rat like in your trap and you got this fucking huge mallet is that really what he does that's it he's like you know you want to hit it and you're going to hit it and I was like you know what maybe I could do your job. That's fucking horrible. Imagine how many rats he's bashed. How many brain... Rat brains are. He's fucking like legal seal

clubbing. That's basically what it is. Yeah, but rats deserve it. Fuck those things. No. My only problem I have with rats is the disease thing. But also, they're just nasty. Why? They're just surviving. Just doing their thing. they're designed to be gross

no they're not no they can be quite cute some rats can be pretty cute you don't have a tail like a rat if you're cute yeah but what if it feels quite nice I reckon it feels like a strawberry pencil like slime and all

it wouldn't be slimy yeah it'd be dry crispy crispy like skin just comes off you know what it's cute what ravens ravens and crows

crows are scary crows are cute as fuck have you seen their beaks they're like yeah there's one behind you Jim watch out that's a raven I love crows are so scary

that they're often used in like horror imagery yeah they're cute I'm no problem with them I love crows are so scary that they're often used in like horror imagery yeah they're cute I'm no problem with I love crows. But I wouldn't mess with one. I definitely would. They're an ability in Bioshock Infinite.

We shoot crows out. Because they got big ass bees, aren't they? Bees are in the first one. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I mean. Bees are scary. That whole internet's a worse.

SpongeBob. Spongers. Sea sponge. It doesn't count. Why? I'm sure they're a scary one. I'm sure you can find a scary one. SpongeBob's mum's pretty creepy.

Yeah. Any others? Lions and tigers and bears. Don't even get me started on bears, man. Bears ain't scary? Yes, they are. When I last went to the Natural History Museum, I specifically went to find the grizzly bear.

I was like, dude fuck of that fuck that like you were saying earlier in terms of being like outclassed by other animals I don't think anything outclasses us more on the land than a bear

that's actually a lot out alt-classes us most big cats but like they're at the top of the class like a plus student you think because they're sheer size and strength yeah and but they're big they're strong

and they're sharp yeah they got multiple sharp they've got like the sharpness of a cat the strength of a gorilla and the brain of a human no they no but I say they've got more strength they've got like physical strength but they've also got like if you fucking stab a bear

it's not gonna fucking do anything to it they're so fucking meaty that it's like got fucking layers of like armor almost but you can't like physically beat it even if you could even with a weapon you're still gonna fucking fuck you you know that's a I keep bringing it back to Red Dead

but that it's coded into the game apparently where if you stand your ground against the grizzly bear they will run away from you there's like a chance it will like stand there and do all of its business and then run away I saw a video of that someone was just like fuck it

I'm gonna be killed anyway so I'll just stand still and take it and then the bear like stood up, roared, go back down and ran away. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. That is what you're meant to do though, isn't it? Like, big yourself up.

Ooh. Get out of you. Alex can do it. If it sees me, if I'll be big myself up, it's going to be like a seeing a little tree. We'd have to, like, get together and make a Power Ranger, like, robot.

Go go. Meck suit. But would you take your chances? Would you take your chances and try to big yourself up or would you have literally no other choice? It's either that or you instinctually just start running and then you're gone. It will

it will chase you down then. But I feel like you really don't know how you're going to react until you're in a situation like that. Because I feel like you just go to such instinctual level like Big Bear scary, oh fuck. And then it's too late.

No, that's that is the most terrible. It's like that and a crocodile. That's the two ones you don't ever want to ever have the displeasure of experiencing. The thing is with the crocodile is that you can't even like big yourself up and make it afraid of you. No, it's not scared of you. No, they're pure

psychos have Chad, Chad, they've got Chad o'er. They don't give a fuck how big you are. They're going to have you. Yeah. Ultimate Chad's. Be a crocodile. Don't be a crocodile. Yeah, they're assholes. Yeah, they're assholes. Yeah, be the red robin.

Yeah, be the red robin. Maybe that's what makes, um, Robin from Batman so like just lame Yeah He's named after something That's like just kind of cute Yeah cute and like Like Batman like it's all about intimidation

Yeah bats are quite scary No bats are fucking cute That's a terrifying Dude they're freaky So cute And they're little disease carriers as well Yeah And they've got their little hands

On their wings You know They've got like fingers Coming out of their wings Have you looked at a fruit bat They're fucking adorable Yeah, well, like a vampire bat It's named after like a horrendous

Like, yeah Bloodsucker Mythological creature They're cute No dog Are they rodents? No They're protected

They're protected What do you mean? Bats Protected Yeah If you disturb a bat You're getting the fucking Shit tons of fines

No, what's got That doesn't make it not a rodent They're not a rodent Rats with wings No, that's pigeons Yeah, that's pigeons Yeah, bats No

Pigeons Pigeons They are the true rats with wings though No, they're not You know, but James You love these snakes Yeah, you love all things Just fucking

Anything like, yeah I love things Horrifying Other people don't love love the unlovable because that's another fear is like being constricted by a snake yeah that's horrifying we haven't talked about pigs I'm not scared of pigs you're not scared of pigs that's bullshit bore boars yes they kill people they still kill yeah I'm gonna say right now you're more likely to be killed by a boar than you're the

coronavirus potentially for will we go out to to the woods and find out. Let's just... Come on, what's going to kill us first? Can I just bring up the fact that Wrees stood behind a fence, a fucking fence of one barred wire and poked a ball's testicles of a stick?

Just remember we did that. Yes. Him and Ruben, him and Rueber ran away because it was scary. You'll remember that, remembering this completely wrong because Alex was the one that ran away with Rubin. Are you saying Riege poked it?

Well, you poked it. I just stood there, like... I was such a Chad, even when I was young. I didn't got no fear. Chad or idiot. Yeah, because even back then I was like, bull, nah. I'd look at it. You're like literally asking for it. Isn't that, this sounds like a phrase.

They don't poke the fucking bull dog. Yeah, don't poke the ball. And guess what, I'm still here? Yeah, guerrilla. It was a close call. No, but to be fair, we did have to run across that open field after we poke the, its testicles, so you know. living life on the edge

and then even on a bacterial level there's things that everything is scary no that's enough no no I'm in I'm in a disagreement not everything's scary a lot of things are cute more things are scary than cute I'm afraid

goose I agree geese are scary swans are scary ducks aren't scary Ducks are. No, they are when you find out the truth about them. When you find out the truth, then you find out they have the biggest dicks in the animal kingdom, proportionate to their bodies. Yeah, proportionate... Thank you for clarifying.

Yeah, of course, the duck's dick isn't bigger than, like, an elephant's dick. Well, I don't know how big than the elephant's dick is. Well, you know, based off, like, you know, a horse... Hors is a huge cop. It's like, that guy always had a... Are they big compared to their bodies, though? No, they are fucking big. They go up to like fucking top, they're fucking middle of their chest, that's fucking huge.

When you can consider how big they are, they've got big cocks. Yeah, I suppose it has to be fairly big, because like, for these weird creatures, they've got to, they've got to do it somehow. You know, whatever aids that process the most, like, in a biological way, has to, you know. There's a reason ducks have, like, 50 foot long dicks. Well, why? What is the reason? I don't understand how. If there is a reason.

Because it, like, doesn't it, like, shh, there's a video of it. YouTube it like shoots out this weird like string they not like go near each other they just shoot it across the fucking lake just pew no they're their ducks are well known you know are apists rapists ducks are kind of cute though no besides the cop thing they're kind of cute ducklings yeah baby ducks no ducks are cute up every bird of prey is pretty they're not cute they're just like kind of handsome they're cool yeah they're cool and handsome elegant yeah but that's scary yeah

because oh no here we go back to Alex's thing of fucking everything scary no you said like a fucking what would win you said you'd be able to fight like a fucking bald eagle did you sure that was Alex was that you say a lot of dumb shit no but I reckon I could beat a bald eagle in a fight you really think so I reckon I would suffer but I mean

you think in the end you'd win there's no way you'd win there's no fucking way you'd win because he's got fucking power there's no way you'd be not more power than me yes even if you took one of its wings off the way birds like run around

is like really they like I mean what what are the limits as well like am I able to find sticks and stuff. No. Because all it has to do is scratch your arm. You're going to be naggizing pain. No, this is like those YouTube videos right with the world superiors

fighting or whatever. It's just in a coliseum you're in a fucking eagle. You'd lose? No, no. I don't think an eagle could kill me. No, but no because they've got fucking huge claws. So if they cut up your arms, you're going to graduate.

I said I'm going to get cut up. I'm going to get fucked up, but I'm going to win. But you're going to run out of strength. Because when knees are bleeding, like, out. No, because all it will be, it'll be interaction one, bird goes for the claw, I grab wing, break wing. And then

But as you grab wing, it'll probably bite you, it'll probably claw you with the legs. Yeah, one arm. No way would you be able to grab and hold one of those animals? No way. The giant, man. You just start taking it.

Maybe if you're fighting like a pigeon. Okay, what about a condor? They're huge, aren't they? They're the fucking biggest bird. They're fucking huge. You said you could beat a board eagle. Yeah, he did say that.

So, come on now. I reckon you could. Alex could think about like mass. Like ratios. No, but they have like strength derived from killing things. That's actual strength. And I'll make this argument. Going to the gym will make you strong,

but it doesn't make you like good at fighting or anything. Eagles have that killing power. Yeah, but I would too in that scenario. I'm trying to find a picture of... Because you haven't got experience killing. Okay, I found it... Just so Jim, as a reference, the size of an eagle

compared to, like, a human. Ooh. No way can you... I think it would be a brutal fight. Yeah, and the bird will win. Yeah, it would be, but I mean, how can an eagle kill a human? No, no, no, it...

They're faster. us, they can inflict more damage No, but how can they kill a human? No, but it's not about killing. It's not like straight up, like, cutting your throat or anything. They're really cool, though. There's a reason America is like chosen them. Yeah, that's... Because it's like

they'll cut open your hands and gradually you won't be able to touch them because you'll be in pain, you will literally eventually eventually... No, but how will it kill me? Exhaustion. You will become exhausted and you will have to give up and it will win. That's a cop out. Nah.

depending on the eagle they have a different claw kind of structure too so the gold eagle has like this proper velociraptor like claw thing going on if that cuts your arm you're going to bleed out you're fucking dead well no it depends where it cuts you if it cuts you down there you're fucked and that's probably where it's going to cut

if you're trying to fucking it's not going to cut fucking along to kill you it could slice a lot all it would take what was that it's whatever that's the thumbnail no let me okay no search

condor Alex could you beat an eagle in a fight I'm starting to doubt okay you and me v one eagle oh yeah no that's bullshit no it could it would be nasty

but yeah we'd fucking destroy an eagle okay what about one condor I'm not sure what their condors offensive abilities are like they're ugly motherfuckers I'd tell you that much they're no fucking eagle condors are ugly no but the size of them they're fucking horrifying how big are they they're cool

isn't their wingspan like was it three meters or something they're fucking huge 10 feet Yes, three meters Holy shit That's big That's really big

They're in Red Dead too I think In the desert Are you sure they're not vultures Vultures? No, condors are in it too Like condors are in like Mainly in like

South America Really high places in South America Like show a pick No Yeah Google If you don't know If you're not familiar with condors

Google like condor and just look at pictures of them with like next to like humans and stuff that is insane they're fucking Jurassic here or they're fucking just freaky I couldn't be one of them in a fight that's me being for real

okay we should probably do some questions so the thread has some poops just a quick hey okay how about this how about this if you want to leave your own questions for us to answer on Add over to the suggestion thread on our Reddit R slash jar media.

Nat dash figure says insert autistic question about self-acceptance and anxiety. JK, I ain't no puss. What is the lowest sum of money it would take you to blow the nostalgia critic? The lowest sum of money. I ain't doing it. You tell me for no money. That's bull So how much would it

How much would be required For you to suckle on the On the critic Over 100K So you're saying about 100K About 100K It must be in advance though I get money before it's done

Half before, half after Yeah that's fine For 100K Yeah I'm James I'm about you, Jim I'll make it last 20 seconds, done boom

Have you got that's some confidence Yeah I'm gonna say No because that's the thing As a guy I know how to jerk off A guy So it's just like boom Do you know how to jerk off a guy with your mouth

You use both No Steveo Proved that that Isn't true what that men know willies better men should be better at sucking off men because they know because he was he was sucked off by a trans woman and he said it was the worst blowjohn there are lots of variables involved yeah but like that that was his joke you know

oh i see i'm just repeating his joke um I don't know, 10K, but in saying that, if it actually became reality, I'd need more than 10K. See, 100K minimum, that's fine. I would only submit myself to that for literally like half a million pounds, honestly. You were more of a... Because think about it, like, money is like an object. your life is

affected in a way that can never be undone I can forget I could easily forget about sucking his knob easy you say that now no straight up

I'd be thinking about I'm gonna message him then do it yeah you make a strong point no because if you just do something after it to cleanse your mind so you don't think about it you're not going to think about it

no that's straight up it's not going to be traumatized So you're saying, do it, then suppress how that made you feel. No, just, just, you know, do the opposite. Just do it again. Would you, would you just close your eyes? Or would you, what if it was in the contract? No, you got to look me in the eyes, my friend.

No, I couldn't do it. You see, the more you think about it, the more you're like, you just get flashbacks of him, like, in that Fury Road. like car no no this is night you're turning james that other way he's gonna do it for like 10 quid nah you got you got he likes what he's doing no because you got if you got to do it you got to be the alpha in doing it you got to be the chad you've got to do intense eye lock when you're doing it straight into his eyes the boom well he's like he's probably got his acoustic guitar doing the wall can you imagine every time you heard that as well

Like after the act To do Doo Doo Doo Doo Duh Oh fuck Boom You just got to B alpha of it Boom I mean

B alpha Sucking the nostalgia Critics dick is what you're saying Yeah Make him Regret it more than you But he's just like Biting him

This is getting too far for me Yeah, I don't like this It's making me just want to Fetal freak asked this You're an MPC What quest would you give And what loot would you drop if killed So let's say we're in

Fallout New Vegas SkyWam Fallout New Vegas Um It's shit hard It's easy Okay so the quest I would give

Let's do Skyrim man. Oh, for fuck sake. Funnier. Funnier and more ubiquitous. Everyone knows Skyrim.

No, they don't. On the subject of Skyrim, Skyim is cool. Skyim's a great game. Shut up. No. You've been saying for years. Years.

And now that we start making fun of Sky Room, you're like, it's actually really good. You enjoyed your first. play through yeah exactly this isn't a Skyrim quality discussion this is an mpc discussion okay so my quest would be to go into the local Junjun to find some scented candles local Janjan what what

I didn't catch where that was. What was so funny? What? What? Are you watching at me? Yeah. He meant dungeon, but he said Junjun. I didn't know.

Junjun. He said Junction To get some scented candles Okay And what I would drop Is six gold And scented candles Six gold

And a letter A letter My My quest would be I ask you to you suck the nostalgia critic's dick and the reward is

whatever you want and if I die yeah your character would be one of those like ones in that have the guitar that like plays a song a bard yeah like a bard

um mine would be like no it's too familiar it's really hard question ask easier questions in future ask just yes or no questions so we can be done with this in two minutes it's too difficult now

the way you guys are asking these I've got to reread it you've got no imagination what quest would you give and what loot would you drop have killed I would I would take them over to like a cave and be like I've got this fucking baby gorilla

I need you to take it down the scary road and then there's a dead horse there and then you're attacked by walls no but then it's like a danger quest

so that's why the horse it's a danger quest and that's where the walls come from they're going to eyes and then you go

into like a dream realm there you go where you get my quest and you have to kill me I die

I drop the mace of my like well uh the loot I would drop if I was killed just a bag

of poo ha argy poo a bag of like but it just poop I drop a note that is titled Reminder

and it just says Doom not good We have this question from an Argyle Skywalker That's a good Reddit name Let's see how this goes If you could invade any country

And dismantle their political system What would it be Oh we all know the answer to that. Do we? North Korea? No. China. Without a doubt. Okay. Jim?

No. Any other, you know, like dictatorships, communist kind of countries? You want to? Why does it have to be communist, huh? See, I'm going to be woke and say United States of America. I'm going to be woke.

and say Canada Okay Explain Why? Is that a requirement in the question or did they just say? Well, I'm asking you, why? Well, I don't care to answer that. Thank you. You just sick of people saying Canada's the best

You want to get rid of that. Yes, I want them to start saying the UK is the best. Which is the truth? Which is the truth? Which is the truth? the truth. Witches are the truth. Right. Oh shit.

Right. D-Doyd 69 says this. Hi jar, boys. Question for everyone. Obviously, you may not be comfortable saying this, but I'd be really interested to know what drugs you've taken and your experiences with them.

Alternatively, have you guys ever lost a job? Just got sacked today and would be interested in your stories about that. Does my YouTube channel being deleted, count is losing a job? I suppose. Do the job one first, I mean, go back to part one. Yeah. I've never lost the job. I've just quit three, four. I don't know. I can't remember. Yeah, it's not the same.

I've not lost a job either. I've just... I've made... I've quit or been made redundant. These drugs are not out my control Yeah, I feel like being sacked Like they said, that's That's something that has a story behind it Just quitting your job, like Yeah

Doesn't have that much of a story behind it Unless, you know, it does, but Okay Okay, let's go back to part one then What drugs have you taken And your experiences with them? I took some ibuprofen ones I assume they just mean

Illegal drugs Oh Right Because What does Alcohol count No Does nicotine count

Um I suppose they didn't say Just illegal So Let's just include that Uh Any leit That about does it

Yeah Honestly The only Illegal drug I've ever messed with is marriage or weren't it. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the lonely, it's the only one that's, honestly, that has appealed to me.

The alonely illegal drug that I've only illegaled would be cannabis. Oh, what's that? The only illegal drug, I've had the displeasure of tasting. Smack. A bit of smack, smack, boom. But as I said on last episode,

It's just weed. Yeah, I feel like I'm not into the idea of pills and powders. What I'm saying? What about liquids that you inject? Are they not normally derived from some kind of powder or something? Yeah. I don't know. Oh yeah, they burn it on the spoon, don't they?

Until it turns into water. Yeah. Some people are just really compelled to just like, try the whole gambit, you know what I mean? Like, just at least once. But, like, to me, it's like, I've got a fairly addictive personality. I don't think that's a very good idea.

Yeah, I'll just try heroin once. That's what they all say. I'll just see what it's like. Just a little bit. I might just try just a little bit of catamint. Just a little bit. Would you fuck with anything that makes you hallucinate? you're talking like LSD or mushrooms or some mushrooms

my biggest fear with them because I've done a fair amount of research into LSD specifically just that pure curiosity there are two fears I have one being that if you had like a bad trip or whatever

it could really fuck you up from my understanding anyway the same with mushrooms too and the other thing being like my other fear of this idea that your brain chemistry is permanently changed in some way yeah i'm not sure if i like the idea of um it's that thing of like i don't know i don't truly know what it's like do i haven't done it so it's very true not really yeah i don't really really yeah i don't really really feel like I'm missing out though at the same time

I've not I've not heard a case so strong it's like man this shit aside from the old the old like man more connected by these fucking systems of energy yeah that pisses me off when people sort of say that sort of stuff but you just don't get it because you've never done it bro

yeah but at the same time like can't you separate the the systems of energy that pass through the social boundaries and connect tussle together man just don't get it we're one

with the the grass well I mean believe whatever you want you know it's cool you know just don't

but yeah is it is it the is it the drug making you is the drug making you think that or is it

unlocking the truth like that's what that's what people are like you know talk about in it what if unlocking the truth is making you retarded because like um unlike some joe rogan

episodes he talks about like taking i think dm t and like devil may try and like on that on like the alex jones episode they talk about these like weird group hallucinations that people have and they're like you know talking to the aliens and the other dimension bitch dude this is like even if that that is what is happening I'm not sure I want to be a part of it you know I leave the

fucking DMT aliens to their own shit man I can't I'm a meme now I want to DMT aliens a special episode of the cast when we take it and we're to start talking to the fucking aliens the globalist

though The Wizard of ours is actually made by reptilians. Yeah, I don't know, because the only one I'd ever been curious about was weed, the only one. I've never been curious about any, like at all. No, even weed. Not even a little bit. No. Then when'd you smoke it every day?

Stop, shut up to me. Boom. I do not. that is that's just lies I don't know my my overwhelming fear um kind of puts puts me off some of the

extreme ones because I that's just the government trying to control you into group no because it's like I don't I don't know I can't look at like an ecstasy pill and be like yeah

yeah this is this is you know So would you do cocaine if it was a leaf? If it was a leaf? Yeah. Like if I made it myself or whatever. Yeah. No, because I'm scared of the addiction side of it,

of how ridiculously addictive the substances. I don't know, dude. I wonder if this episode will 100% be flagged for all this talk. I doubt it. Whatever. So Patreon. for my run. You don't want to do this, Jamie. It's been an hour in 20 minutes, motherfucker.

I doubt it. Yeah, they should be happy. They've got a bonus, fucking extra time on this episode. Yeah, fucking YouTube fucking capitalists. Smackers. You know what? I'm fucking sick of this shit. I'm sick of this shit. There's so

much I do. I know what I want to do. What are you talking about? What you just said? It just made no sense. I've got a story, but I'm going to have to save it for next time. Okay, so don't say then. Then why do you even fucking bring it up that you have one? Kind of bullshit. It's that, um...

It's that thing people say in conversation where they're like, there's something I really need to tell you, but I'm not going to. Which is just a way of saying... Please ask me to tell... Yeah, please beg me to tell you whatever it is that I'm holding back. I found it really hard to not beg as well. because that does it works it really

yeah really fucking does work it gets these little teeth in my flesh and it just drags and drags and drags yeah because it's that little doubt it's like wait it could be that it could be this

it could be fucking it could be it was me now I need to know yeah I think we answer that question anything yes

don't do that We got this one from, I Bigfoot, Have Piss. Can I just say it is becoming increasingly more difficult to watch your show. As a zookeeper who works long shifts, I watch Jarre on my lunch in a crowded canteen full of bored mothers and boring kids and other zookeepers. And I have a reputation of being a straight-faced muscle man who clean me. up apeshit. Can I please thank James for making me burst out laughing at the start of Jard 205 in front of everyone and allowing me to befriend a female co-worker, Bazinga?

Boom. Who found the skit hilarious too. Now we are going for dinner on Friday. Skit? And I got fucking smacked in the face? Yeah, it was the Nerf intro, right? Boy! That was a skit, that was reality, dude.

Yeah, that was straight up, Will. I got fucking smacked. yeah it was that was that was like a real natural one because you guys didn't know that I'd turn the camera on and had everything rolling yeah

and then we got yeah we stitched it together into like a weird thing that's hilarious though so he's did you think he's taking her to TGOs nah do you think this is

we've had so many of these stories and honestly I don't know if I believe any of them Yeah, he's a zookeeper. Who cleans up apes shit? But then, like, for... People, like, it's a job. Like, people do it, you know?

Yeah, but... We mean the TGI Friday thing for a long time. Like, come on. At least go to Nando's. You get the Hulumi sticks. Good. Go to TGIs. No.

If you're a Zeekeeper, you go to TGIS. No, you go to Nando's. He said that he was... He's a big boy. So he's going to go. go to Nando's to get that protein no he's going to TGI fucking because he told the gorilla how good it was no it's not about the gorilla's about him he is it's about eight not gorilla everyone about apes here

hmm let's do a couple more before we end this Buh. Okay. Right. We've got some good-ass questions this time. I'm just reading through something. Shitty. Buh.

Oh, here we go. We have to talk about this. Okay. On, I guess it wasn't last episode with the previous, the one before that, where we had the, like, 19-minute segment where we were talking about holes in the human body. that upset people beyond any rational well the nostrils one part is true because like I wasn't

I wasn't trying to seriously come to a conclusion I was just like trying to keep it going because I thought it was funny yeah yeah it was like the cookie biscuit thing cookie cake biscuit but like people got so frustrated from it that Juleongue Jule on

says this I've never had an anger issue I've always been a calm and rational person but listening to the last jarcast I was getting angrier and angrier by the minute I buried my face in my palms and stopped my writing I couldn't stop listening for my curiosity for my curiosity of how far into the realm of moronic logic these baby boys could dwell the unbelievably the unbelievable stupidity of the jar media members was grating but I kept listening. As Jim made the football comparison and James opened his mouth I knew it would be something stupid.

My guess was right. What's the football comparison? I said that you we asked how many holes a football has and I said one because how are you going to blow it up? And you're like no. I'm pretty sure I said a balloon. I remember that being said

for the second time after already being explained to the example very clearly I reached out my hand and grabbed my cup of In a sudden fit of anger I threw the cup across the room knocking my alarm clock and a stack of books onto the floor

It took over an hour to get the tiny shards off the floor And with bloody feet And a broken alarm clock And I write this final statement It's bullshit Just watch the V source video for answers He's lying Well she's lying

Who has an alarm clock In 2020 True true It's a whole If that's true You got some anger issues dude yeah it's not my

it's not my fault it's not my fault god damn thought provoking conversation motherfucker like what was the answer again what five no

football no footballs have one hole Alex no I'm talking about humans one hole seven football's then of any holes I reckon we've probably got

about 43,000 no we've got what that men's have 11 women's have two That's the answer Resource Forget about the resource video We just solved it

The answer is one Boom Joseph Z Khan Says I'm going to end on this If Jha had access To the world's launch codes Would the world be

A safe place to live Yeah No Yeah Yeah it would Because we're not stupid We'd fucking Throw the keys

Into the ocean Boom that's pretty fucking stupid who's gonna find them you just look at the keys into the ocean no the world would be over in five minutes because you need no because for everyone you need two fucking keys right

for one in the Pacific one in the fucking Atlantic nobody's ever going to find them the world's the safest place okay well I'm thinking about take that same energy of the way you play with these fucking Nerf guns before no that

they don't have fucking guns that shoot noaks no think about it like James can't resist like a little key in a little hole no that's why they have the two yes so you can't just out of curiosity be like oh go on then yeah you need someone else to have the exact same curiosity at the same time that wouldn't be embarrassed them had one yeah one key to one missile then yeah world is fucked and on that note that's the end of the episode hope you enjoy dongy donkey fuck five Boom, boom.

Thanks for supporting us. Smack! I hope you break all your mugs in pure agony. Go fucking frustration. Fuck you. Visit the Jarmuished store to buy new ones. You listen to Jake Paul's shit. Yeah, go listen to fucking listen to some bullshit.

Fucking assholes. You missed my fucking advertising there. Go smash your mug and then buy more from the Jarmieger's store. Father McKenzie wants to kill James There's nothing in it There's nothing in it