JAR Media Posdact - FNAF EYES - JARCast Episode 326

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 06:20 Housekeeping 14:35 Tips For Stop Being So Stupid 27:02 Alex's Voice is Ruining His Life 33:24 The Original Sandy Cel (Truth Revealed) 36:01 The Fnaf Movie Trailer is Here... RUN 47:31 Mid Break 48:36 Question Segment: James with Long Straightened Hair 51:52 The main character of JAR? 55:22 Jingles Shingles 57:18 Alex Reads a Grotesque Dobby Fanfiction 1:04:30 Thoughts on YouTube Boxing 1:18:23 The Loremasters 1:20:19 James and Jim Fight About Coffee 1:37:37 The Harsh Truth About Keyboard Cat

Good afternoon morning, Jim, you do it. What? When was the last time Jim did it? When's the last time I was given the opportunity? Okay, Alex, let's sit. Normally, I started. Alex, just sit here and inquire until Jim can gain the confidence to do it himself.

I've done it myself more times than you. No, you haven't. That's because I only missed 80% of the episodes. Behave Guys We're professionals around here Yeah That really hurt

Can you guys call me proff Intro then Proff and Joff I need to put my mic here because last episode I was like double the audio levels of you two Not true man

No, it doesn't work. It does, man. It doesn't work. I'm not, but I'm... What are you listening to it on? Because I edit it with headphones on, so I hear every lip smack, I hear every burp, I hear every... A speaker? No, man.

Not today, not tomorrow, not while the fire is a burning, baby. Look at me, the fire's burning, baby. Look at me, the fire's burning, honey. If you had to pick a pet name for, for James, which one would you choose? I don't need a pet, Alex, you're going to a weird territory, I don't need a pet name. What, so you don't want, you don't want honey? Don't want darling?

That's, that's not, is that's not a pet name? What? It's just an affectionate name. A pet name? What? That's, that's the same thing. No, that's weird. Pet name.

What? That's a term. He's never heard of that term, yeah. No, pet name, pet, what? Pet? I'm not a term of endearment no you can just call them terms of endearment not I don't need a pet name Just call me your terms of endearment can be terms of endearment. Yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, cool. No, continue No, the best term of the best term of endearment is my name Cause I don't I do lips. Oh, lips will be a good one. Oh, lips. Right lips. My my actual name. Cool, oh white lips.

Because nobody says my name in a positive. connotation so if I hear my name I'm instantly like... What do you mean no one says your name in a positive connotation? Well, what about when you make a hot play in Apex and I go, yes, James? How's that not positive?

That's a different kind of positive. It's just like nobody says my name to be nice to me. While eating your ass. You're basically it. Come on, lips were being flanked. Okay, good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this episode of the media podcast episode

I couldn't have said it better myself thank you prof no worries what's your name this episode 326 hello 3207 and uh lips no no you're implying

I suck dick how who's who said that you made that connection man not me your mind is in the gutter as always unlike our lips are in the gutter as usual I was doing a really good segue but hey go for it just pretend I'm not here can you can you actually intro the show I just that was it you didn't

do good after any one evening light ladies and gentlemen he did look no no no what did he say then if he doesn't do it no this is proof this is proof because you're like what is your last time you did it every time you every time I do it you you're just not present you're Is this a bit of corporate espionage we've uncovered? This is corporate espionage. James is trying to flank me out of the corporation. Okay, so let's play, let's imply here that we're all part of like, um, all shareholders, we've each got like a percentage vote.

Like, we're like a corporation in a night syndicate, right? We're like a cyber. The video game syndicate. No, the gang warfare video game that's a top-down, isometric RPG. Richard, what corporation are you being a syndicate for? I don't know. Apple. I'll be Microsoft.

Oh, you're both babies. Can we actually talk about Apple, please? What do you want to talk about Apple for? Why do you still own Apple products? Why do you not? You own a Google phone? Yeah, you can't, like, claim it to be Apple, Google, whatever means. It was a 200-pound phone that is still going strong.

And it is also cracked open at the back where you can see the motherboard. Good quality. Yeah? Yeah. Well, that's the Apple discussion. I thought you were a majority shareholder in Apple anyway. No, I don't have majority shares. I have majority shares in Lockheed Martin and rape it on.

But outside of that, I don't really have majority of shares. James literally owns 15% of Apple. I'm trying to weaponise Apple to make themselves arms. Before we get too deep into the show, let me shout out the Jail Media Patreon that makes the audio version possible, and the special patrons of a certainty or above get their names read out in the first or second week of each month. So not right now, I'm afraid, Lips. Not right now, I'm afraid, 3-2-6. There's something quite dehumanizing about calling you a number.

Can you call me something like nice? I am not a number. Do you want to be Lips and James be 3-2-6? No, I want a nice name that makes me like a little bit. butterflies you know that's what lips was supposed to do yeah no lips don't do anything for me really what if what if it's a different kind of lips huh dog lips dog lips dog lips does that give you butterflies to lips lips do a lipper okay no I like I like yeah man well I guess we didn't do

housekeeping last episode and it's time can we mention it the one episode where people had a say in a subject of the episode you conveniently decide to not do housekeeping what do you remember when people were the one episode where people ever say

people have a say every single episode where we had loads of beeps and people seem to have really good guesses about it and the following episode where we normally do housekeeping you conveniently decided we're not doing housekeeping I appreciate

I've seen the conspiracy theories building like that Like the reason I didn't want to do Housekeeping last week Was because I didn't want to admit King of B. You're going to beat that on you? Well, duh.

That one took so much longer to do Worth. It was worth it. Yeah. It kind of gave me flashbacks To the really old days Of the fart, pooed diarrhea one. That was a funny one.

That is a funny one. Yeah. I remember that so clearly. I was sat there for like hours It was just editing fart sounds into it, just waiting for something. And that was before I, like, edited stuff at, like, two-time speed and stuff as well. Early days of editing. Yeah.

But, yeah, this is a housekeeping segment where we round off conversations from the previous episode. Why didn't we do housekeeping? Can we not do housekeeping? Because we're, I was thinking in terms of, like, there was some feedback a few weeks ago, whatever, that was like, yeah, it's cool to not have the structure now and again and just get straight to it. That's what I was trying to have fun. Okay, okay. Of course, people think it's some wild conspiracy. Like James.

No, I'm not a conspiracy kind of guy. I just know that... The... Mm-hmm. Woo! James Clark, can start us off here. James. I stay true to the silly things I say on the jar cast.

Okay. Where's your uggboots? Um... Okay. Um, I can... completely forgot about that one. Did you? Um...

That was a normal episode thing, wasn't it? That was a normal episode. That's why I forgot about Alex was on the normal episode. Um, I have nothing against our boots. I'm probably more likely to wear them now because... Shut the fuck up. Paisalie, you're really being anti-social tonight. He's been...

An Asbo. You were saying? Um... actually work the ugg boots now because i think i think i've got more confidence now look at a look on my head does this look like someone who cares about the way they look it's not really ug kind of year though no no no but that's what makes it better what do you mean kind of year how season yeah james got a season not ugh kind of year how did she get that from year james gets it seasons are in a year right no not

Like, we're just going into summer. Who wears ugs in summer, man? Unless you've got your uggs slandals. Well, if you want to talk about sluts, man. No, honestly. No, sluts don't wear ugs anymore. We've moved on. Do you not want to be a slut?

This is actually one of my topics. Like, wear shorts, ugg boots? Well, we can, could we get through housekeeping, and then we can talk about sluts? Okay. Are you going to beep slut? Yeah. Okay.

I have to. Why? The way it works on, there are certain words. If you say the sea word, instant, that will be flagged over. That's one of my favorite words. I'm surprised it's your, your favorite words. Because it's not associated with anyone in the world more like that part of the ocean. Wait, wait, what do you mean?

New Zealand, Australia, love the sea world. Oh, yeah, yeah, especially Aussie. Yeah, that's like a cultural, like, your... Kind of is here as well. But YouTube TOS don't like it. Well, they can... Yeah, that's actually offensive. And it kind of picks up when you like repeat

the same word at a lot of times. Like, because we've said slut a lot. Yeah. The fact that we're saying slut. Yeah, yeah. It just kind of increases... But maybe it isn't slut and a term of endearment? I don't think that's the origin of it.

No, I behold a sort of thing. No. No, everything. So if I call you a beep... Death's like in deemment? Yeah. Yeah, so like, why can we stop getting upset over the word? Beep.

Which is beep? Yeah, which beep are we beeping about right now? The S one? Slat. Yeah. That's like, I don't see that ever as a negative connotation. Really? Yeah.

It could definitely be an insulting thing to say something. Yeah, it can be. I know, because I'm... But... Beat that. No, yeah. Yeah, beat that. I did that on purpose.

Yeah, fuck that. Um... I'm slut. Yeah, guys. Hogsight said, size, sorry. I'm on a crazy acid trip, and everything these blokes are saying is so true right now.

Oh, God, it's the Joe Rogan fans. Yep, hopping over from Joe over to us. Oh, wow, if they're opening my mind to a new level. So, no, it's like the level is the backroom, so that's what Joe is. There's the space we take up on YouTube. Yeah, we kind of are like the backrooms of podcasts. There was quite an earnest, innocent question from Jara.

Hey JAR boys. Just wanted to tell you that a lot of people do this, actually. They put, they put Jame apostrophe S. I'm kind of confused because I've been, I've looked, I've been looking at comments. Do they mean Jameses? You can pick up from context clues who they mean. But that happens. a lot because. But who do they mean?

James. Are they saying Jameses? They put Jameses. They put James, yes. No, but that's Listen, listen, listen. You didn't let me finish. You didn't let me finish. Um, I've been looking at comments and for very long time, I think people get me and Jamie confused. Yeah, I've noticed that.

Because they'll be like, oh, Jamie said this this episode, and it's something I did. I'm like, what? So I'm thinking are these audio listeners who have not picked up that I'm James and you're Jamie? Is it just, is it really as simple as just Two J names? No, where it's confusing is that I am Jim.

I'm primarily Jim. Which is short for Jim. Okay, that is confusing to be fair. Can you just give up then? No, you give up. Use your middle name. Well, that's what... No, but then that's the same.

That means a worse is you. Yeah, lips. Everyone knows who lips is. No, because who's got the biggest lips? Alex. Alex's lips He does kind of resemble Ice spice

Ice spice Alex Alex's lips Can we do an ice spice episode I'm not a big fan of ice spice I can hit her up You don't like her on the show What don't you like about her?

No we really like that song What's the song? Hey am I spice over here You know like where she shakes her butt and stuff No everyone knows the song Everyone knows the song You know the song Yeah, like, where she shakes her butt and stuff

I'm like, stop That's, that's all No, no, your butt says I'm misogynistic What? So what's your take on ice spice then, huh? I don't know, I don't know who it is You do know, everyone knows that ice spice song

I like that ice size You know, where she's like Something is good enough She's got like, no Fuck Yeah, fuck Anyway, I didn't even finish reading this fucking comment. Well, read it then, Jesus.

Hey, jar boys. Just wanted to tell you that James Newhair is amazing. Which James? I assume it's you. One question. Do any of you happen to know any tips for stop being so stupid? Allow me to elaborate. Sometimes my family or friends give me instructions on normal stuff.

But most of the time, I need a lot more explaining than most people, since I tend to understand things more slowly than others and it feels pretty bad. What can I do? Thank you all for the fun. Rock on, you freshly born human gamers. Also, no, I'm not reading that bit. Can I read it? Sure. Let me read it. No, I want to read this.

No, bro. Just imagine that, look, all that one word is all you need to see. Oh, fuck, so. Fuck, so. Fuck off. Yeah. You can't. Yeah, you're dumb.

bitch no and being dumb is fine I think being dumb is far better than being ignorant okay you're not dumb you don't know they're dumb he said he's dumb he said he's stupid

does any of you happen to know any tips for stop being so stupid that's the this might be my favorite comment ever yeah I think I'm with you okay that is this okay so there's layers there's

be intelligence right is not black or white I think yeah there's a very narrow view of what intelligence what do you mean why are you looking at me like that it's like people some people are like stupidly intelligent but are stupid why are you looking at me like that

I'm just listening yeah there's like different types there's like academic intelligence social intelligence yeah there's like different ways so like with that kind of intelligence. Right. Which, which? Oh, the way you're, you're, the way you're acting is setting my head off. Okay, so, but which? I'm going to use an example, right? And that, my example is myself, milling, late, laving, turning.

Using big machines to do precise measurements and cuts on materials. There is a very specific thing you've got to do to make sure you're, you've got your date and point. I've had, it's shown to me more than anyone else in the class because my brain is just not getting it. That doesn't mean I'm stupid. It doesn't change how my quality of my work is just like to understand it to be able to accurately

redo it constantly I need more telling. That is like a very specific way in education that you can That's the main thing. You've got to figure out how your brain works and how you learn. I don't think it's a stupid thing at all and I think referring to yourself as stupid because of that is like

I'm not sure if they might be trolling. because like you don't say something like does any of you happen to know any tips for stop being so stupid and then say allow me to elaborate you know you know what yeah because that's like kind of pretending to be ignorant to

English no I don't think this is a troll and comment I think that they're asking for advice but the thing is that there will be in life moments where there's a skill that you struggle with and then other things will come much easier you know

yeah that's just the way our brains are we all struggle and excel in different parts yeah so and like look the truth is it took me a long time to be able to work a dishwasher yeah they're complicated things you gotta get the salt you gotta get them little pods

and it's like where does the pod go and then you find out that the pod you don't even need to put the pod into the little thing because the thing just opens when it turns on anywhere and it just drops it in. What? Yeah, the pod, when you turn the dishwasher on it just goes and just drops the pod in. You're kidding. I'm serious.

Which means it drops the pod in? What? You know, when you turn a dishwasher on, you get that pod, you put it in the little section and then close it. When you turn it on, it just opens and the pod goes in. It's not like a special system, it's like really basic. No, but it comes on at a certain point in the cleaning cycle. It just doesn't instantly turn on fly over. fun doesn't do that that's not how it works that is how it works no it's not it comes

on once it's had it's pre-wints i thought it was going i don't pre-rince man i use eco mode and just i like that i respect that but yeah i mean just like like understand your own brain and just know that if you need more instruction and a little bit more hand-holding forget about other people's limitations figure out your own navigate your own world yeah and don't think about where you should be think about where you're not only in relation to yourself that? Yeah, don't you feel stupid. If you're like, if you're looking around

in your classmates and someone's got an A and you've got a B, that's still better than me. You know? Yeah, you can compare yourself to James. And I'm the most educated here. Well, yeah. Literally.

Yeah. We're getting there, anyway. Technically, seeking, yeah. But it's like, no, you don't compare yourself in anything, in passions, in job, in success, in relationships, you never compare. If you compare, you're going to be... No, what do you mean?

To yourself, no, I would say. I didn't say no, I said, well. Well, well, what? Well, it depends. You don't want to do it in a way that, like, debilitates you and holds you back. No, I don't think compulsion can be a positive thing. I think it can be. No, because then it, like, becomes competition, you know, and then that can be a negative thing.

A certain amount of it, but if you're competitioners who can oppress the most workers in your corporation. No, but like, it's part, like, you can't, because it can be, it can turn into something you're down on yourself on if you're like, I keep comparing myself. It's like human nature. It's like judging people, you know, we, we can't help but have preconceptions, you know? We don't choose how we immediately perceive someone. That's why you've got to like make an effort to kind of detach it. from your psyche it's not like everything it's like the process you can go through but it can't be something that brings you down to that level because so many people are brought down by that comparison game yeah and people just give up yeah you know yeah that's why I say try and yeah compare to yourself think about yourself your own growth your own yeah yeah that's the best way to gauge like progress yeah this was an interesting one actually from Alex fish who said a question for James regarding the influence of the Fast and Furious movies on car culture.

Did the Transformers movies have any impact on car culture slash markets? Those movies are quite big and I'm curious if they fucked things up, like you said, Too Fast, Too Furious did. No, because with Transformers, it's based in America and all the vehicles that are shown in that movie. They were really expensive, aren't they? They were cars that were being launched around that time in America. So it was an advertising campaign, basically. So it didn't change any of the desire and supply. of these vehicles because they're already there.

But with Too Fast and Furious, the Halo car being the main car of 2000 Two Furious was the silver R-34 skyline. The Silver, the R-34 Skyline is not, was sold out, it was never sold in America why because the 25-year import law, which means you've got to wait till a car is 25 years to be able to buy it.

So since Two Fast and Two-Fierce came out and now, Americas have just seen these. cars wanted these cars constantly they've seen Australians doing crazy stuff with them Japan doing crazy stuff yeah and it's like there's an increasing demand for them but the supply's never been there so now that they're legal there's loads of demand and it the supply is being sucked in so that's why you're seeing this huge change in prices because so many people want them and they're gonna buy them so even really bad ones are selling for like AEK good ones are

selling for Paul Walker's one in the fourth fast and furious film sold for 1.5 million a few days ago. Yeah. So that's why I had a big impact because American federal laws say you can't import cars till this age. So that's why load of Japanese cars are all now super desirable because of that. So the

demand is can finally be satisfied. And also aren't the actual cars themselves just like way more affordable a lot of them? Like in comparison to the sports cars that are in Transformers movie. Yeah. Like if not now but like at the time like the whole people

of Japanese cars was like like you can spend 50k on a Ferrari or you can spend 200 quid on a Nissan and they're the same they're like same performance that was like the whole thing with Japanese cars but now that YouTubers

and celebrities all love these Japanese cars you're spending triple the amount for a car that's like doesn't compete anymore it's just the way the industry is or I think of like the initial D tofu car or whatever yeah really expensive because of initial day

It's only because of an issue. Exactly, yeah. But, like, when those cars were out, they weren't, like, expensive. They were cars, you were just, like, the whole thing, it's a joke. Some of the Irish people have watched it. It's just, like, mid-2000s, people would literally import one, crash it into a lamp post, buy another one the same day and do it again, because they're a couple hundred quid.

And now they're 40K for a good one. So it's the way the market is. But, yeah, Transformer, from what I know being in England, didn't have any impact on it. But that's probably because those films. How could it, you know? What are the main vehicles is like a big monster truck thing You'd think it'd be the main Camaro

Bumblebee Yeah But what would the starting price on one of those be Well they were 60s cars So like the supply for them And the demand is always beaten them So they would have always been worth something But like really expensive right

Like I knew one now would be expensive Yeah But even back then it had been cheaper So it's like the way older cars are But I don't think it had a huge jump yeah it does seem like a kind of different market they're going for it's more flashy more

yeah but now it's like you'll never find movies now to have a to affect the car market it's YouTubers like there's a big YouTuber in America called Adam LZ bought a Toyota Chaser everyone in the world wants one because it's a clout car it's like a Instagram

TikTok car now they're worth more so it's like if any of these YouTube was bought a C-35 lot. Yeah. You've just given me money. Don't like a bunch of rappers and stuff. I wouldn't sell. But, yeah.

T-Pain. T-Pain has a Nissan S-15. Yeah. With more T-Pic on it, with pickle wick on it. Really? Yeah, Piquel. T-Pain has a pickle wick Nissan S-15.

Oh, my God. I'll find you a picture. That's rad. Yeah, man, but I'll tell you what's rad. The final question is. housekeeping from Rebecca McNeil Does Alex put on a low voice I know it's low but it's gotten lower

Yeah, you do There was one from a few A few months ago that was like What's happened to Alex's voice He used to sound like Ben Shapiro It's not clear but there's Picklewick Oh yeah no I can That is T-Penmy God

Yeah That's cool Yeah I don't know I guess maybe it gets deeper as you get older And have a cigar and a A glass of whiskey or maybe I should actually I put on a deep voice the whole time

you do put on a deep voice yeah what do you mean I mean what do you mean what do you mean that's what you used to sound cool like hey guys good afternoon morning evening on night ladies and gentlemen

good afternoon morning evening on night everybody welcome to another episode let's do this come on guys well I mean you're you everyone gets older man you can't slow down the tick tick-ticking of us what's his question my brain was on Picklewick is ask it people think I put on a low voice no it's just maturity he'd no no I just no he doesn't oh don't

do that you say on that when we ever we go on discord it's like Alex what do you just say because the deep the voice is so deep I can't actually hear yeah no it's actually kind of ruining my life don't be in real what no we can go into this if you want. We can go into this if you want. I like life ruining discussions. Yeah. Yeah. No, well, Jim gets it more than anyone. Why do I get it more than anyone? You sound more like IHE than IHE. Yeah, Jim is, we won't go down that road, but um, what road? The truth about it. Oh, shit. Uh, but anyway, yeah, uh, the truth about my mother. What was it? Oh, yeah. My, my voice ruining my life.

life um it pretty much oh it pretty much only works in environments like this one oh it's completely silent oh no you no that's that's actually a problem with how we use our voice it's not it's not the voice itself it's not like a physically our body your mind um well that's what that's this was genuine i was thinking about this like a few months back and i was like i didn't really have a concrete new year's resolution but i came up with one it was like project more be louder you need me you need to be me there's just something

about this whatever tone go really high you need to stop being soft you need some warmness to it you need to be angry you need to funnel your inner frustrations into your voice at random people but it's not my vibe this is my vibe

this is my vibe then your vibe's the problem no that's everyone else when they're trying to hear what you say. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's why I've adopted that so much because it's like, that's all they're here. Yeah. But genuine, like, there have been points where, like,

I've got something to say it, and I'm like, you could say it, and then I'll say it, and it just won't connect. And then I try it once, repeat it once more. Nah, lost in the noise. Yeah, and then I give up. Yeah, it makes a difficult moment go to, like, a pub,

a loud pub, because it's like, you're trying to have a conversation of you and you're just like i can't i can't hear you there was this one time i was at this bar and it was playing quite loud music and i was like standing near the bathroom holding someone's drink for them waiting for them to come out and someone came over to me and started like having a conversation with me like screaming in my ear you know that thing and it's just like it's a horrible memory for me because I was like trying to I can't communicate in that I'm not screaming back I can't I can't scream in someone's ear like that I can't do it I love physically or mentally where's the block because I I find it

it really unpleasant to be screamed in my ear I don't want to inflict that upon somebody so so So what basically what I was doing was just going like, I can't eat, can't eat, like, it's just like, yeah, don't like it. Occasionally, like, the strat is, because ordering drinks is a problem too in that environment, you know? But I make a list on my phone, and then I just hold my phone up.

And they go. Really? Yeah. I actually have a concern, especially when I'm a bit piss, it's like, whenever we're in a bar, it's just like James Gold, I'm always like, oh, no. I always like, I was like, I'm hesitant

because I'm always worried that I'll get to a barn I'll be, I'll be talking such a nonsense that you know what I'm asking. Bro, you just got to remember, like, you think you're bad, they've seen so much worse. Yeah, but every time it's fine, I'll walk over and a lot, free, mom and coax please, really loud. I project a lot.

And it's fine, but I always have that concern from being heard. Yeah, so I've got to say, it's really affected my life, it's ruining my life. I think you need to spend more. more time in game chat. But that's like that used to be my jam.

And that's why you're bad at... Destiny raiding? Kind of. But more so like, you know, you search for a game of Halo 3 and then the lobby's full of mics and you hear all sorts of slurs. I think it's destiny they did it for you

because I'm overhearing you when you play Destiny and you were soft and we could barely hear you. Ever since you've been the same. You need war Call of Duty lobbies. That's what you need. Full of June is not the answer, man. No, no, Jamie knows this.

It absolutely is. 100%. Because you will speak with such confidence. No, man. No, no, no, no. Apex lobbies, then. So maybe we've got to figure out a new pitch. Opera, do opera right now.

Deep opera. Oh. No, you need deeper. You do it, then. Oh. I could always, I suppose I could start ordering drinks as Jordan. Howlake moralist drink please? Or maybe I gotta...

Maybe, yeah. You're okay. Maybe when my voice was Ben Shapiro voice, I could have ordered a drink easier. Now listen, hypothetically. If I ordered... What about Crowder? Steam Crowder. wife don't leave me

yeah I never really got this Stephen Crowder impression down just do something really he's just like a blank slate dude yeah no personality no humor just kind of he's like a disgusting man

he's like a cube yeah no but those straps he wears are fire they are fire it makes him look threatening when he goes to university campuses and pones all those libtarts the most threatening Canadian yet.

Is he Canadian? Yeah. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, those... Canucks, you know what I'm saying? Whoa!

Maybe he was the one who was responsible for the maple syrup... Heist? Oh, the heist. The maple heist. The maple heist. We're running out of maple. Before we finish the segment, there's one thing I need to mention. Um... someone posted a major media subreddit

how dare they an old air screenshot from someone on tumbler who had just to cut a long story short they own the original sandy cell the sandy cell they do actually they post it because they they posted a screenshot of like some April Falls video

I made years ago with that sandy thing in it and they'd put an attachment with a photograph of the cell saying lull I own this cell that was in this but it doesn't end there but I went on their I went on their Tumblr account the person who owns the Sandy Cell right

not only are their Sonic fan not only are their Brony but they are a Golden Freddy cosplayer Yes Oh my God The Sandy Cell owner is a golden Freddy cosplayer let me repeat that one more time The Sandy Cell owner

is a golden Specifically a Golden Freddy cosplayer Golden Freddy! Yeah. He's been right now, Golden Freddy's been right there the whole time. No. So...

How? This is beautiful. That's like the... It's too much of coincidence. That is too much. That's too... I think they're Jafan. No, they're just... You're watching this. I know you're watching this. Just sell it to us already, okay?

We need that sell. Please genuinely sell it. Like, uh... Yeah, we need that so. We will frame it and put it in a locked box and replace the Mona Lisa with it. We can pay 2,000 British pounds using James' credit card. No. The unfortunate thing is the Tumblr account long abandoned years.

But there's a Reddit account of the same name that was active a month ago. So there's a chance. There's a small chance. This could still happen. I feel like it's almost They have so much A sense of entitlement No

To that cell Like you deserve it I deserve it Yeah No I feel that Yeah I just deserve it They have too much power over us now We need to kill them

Yeah That's one option If they don't want to sell How do you kill Golden Freddy Bonnie Bonnie and man on this note we have to bring it up

goldfish 7740 it's finally arrived the FNAF movie trailer has dropped will the jar boys go to see it and how will James cope knowing that Scott is going to make millions more from James's brilliant idea I think we should go to the day one release dressed as gone Freddy

I'll be there I've been talking shit about this video game Onslaught for a while now right This is the one I'm okay with The one The one that belongs

The one that belongs No I think Tears of Twilightite Kingdom Would be a good movie adaption But there's some drama With this FNAF movie The FNAF community's getting upset You know what it is

You watch the trailer Jim What do you think If you have to guess What is it that the FNAF community's upset about with that trailer. There's a specific detail about the animatronics that is not, not being accepted right now. Is it because they're not clearly got human skeletons in them? Kind of on the right lines.

I don't know. People have a real issue. People are, I mean, FNAF fans, the diehards, the true ones. The real ones. The Slayers. The eyes. They don't like the red glowing eyes. Oh, yeah

You know what, I agree I kind of get that I saw like a fan edit of the poster And they'd like taken the red Glowy eyes away And just put like the little white dots from the game Superior I'm saying it

Yeah, you know what So now there's that I saw like a few posts of like You know when the Sonic trailer first dropped And everyone was like no Sonic Sonic's too good to look like this Maybe there's a little bit of a movement going on For

the Fnaf eyes no it's they're trying to make them scary by having the really genetic red eyes but it's like red eyes is so much less scary yeah you know it's like what it's yeah it's kind of missing the whole point of what made the concept scary to begin

but it's too obvious you know yeah yeah it's supposed to look like chucky cheese yeah yeah because they're frightening like how is how did this movie not exist before anywhere you know it's like the most obvious idea yeah it could have been called

chucky cheese yeah they haven't had an official tie-in. Yeah, the Chucky Cheese horror film. Yeah, so it's a Blumhouse movie directed by someone I'm not familiar with, with the guy from Zathura.

Zathura? And Matthew Lilliard. He's in the... Is Matthew Lilliard the security guard? I'm not sure who... I think the security guard is actually the... Cambridge to Terribithia What is he in that

That's him right As a kid No he's not He's a kid actor right What's he called Josh Hutchinson Bridge to Terribithia What's that I've never heard of it

You don't know what To Terribithia is Are you sure that wasn't the good doctor You're getting confused with What? Wait why did I just type bridge Bridge to Deribetia Oh

That's dumb Oh you're right It is Josh What's? go and he was a little kiddie in it it was like really dark that movie what yeah show me the poster i think you got it on your 14th birthday why are all these like yeah oh him yeah it's the same guy yeah most people probably know him from hunger games he's the guy who makes the the cakes and then he's like

he paints like bark on his face and hides on a tree yeah yeah that's it that that was lame. Yeah, so I guess yeah, he's going to be in FNAF. Does it say who he is? He's, do you know who Mike Schmidt is in the Fnaff Law? You'll give me that look. You'll give me that Schmidt look. No, I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who isn't initiated. Do you think Matt Pat is like, what is Matt Pat doing?

When that trailer dropped, like... Why do you think he made another channel? The film theorist? Oh, as soon as he heard that it was being made, he was like, I'm getting. in. Wait, why? What does Matt Pat have to do with it? He's solved all the mysteries.

Oh yeah, shit. He's like the Neil deGrasse Tyson of pizzerias. You know? He defined the true story of Fnaf. He wrote the story of Fnaff. He did. He's straight up this. And there's rumors of a little marketplace cameo.

Like, the amount of shit we gave free guy for, like, the streamer cameos and stuff. Like, this is one where I'm like, Why not? No, they belong. They actually belong. I was hoping Markiplier was just going to be the main guy. Genuinely. I think that would be, that would have wrong.

No, I know who Markiplier's going to play. You know that crazy FNAF character they introduce her? It's like, Freddy, but he's like a superhero now. He's like a mech you can like go in. No. Do you know about this? That's how far the games are not making this up. Freddy's a meck.

He's like a good guy now and he's like a mech. that the main character like climbs in. Um, when is they going to be the Evangelian like crossover? That's where it's going. An existential meck fucking Freddy anime. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, this guy.

This character. Oh, yeah. He's like a good guy now. What, you think marketplace is going to be him? I think, I think market player is going to be the good guy, Freddy thing. Oh, I don't know what he's called. He's like yellow and he's got shoulder pads. and like David Bowie

color scheme um oh security breach yes yeah that guide you around the security yeah security is like the best

freddie ffnaf game really you played that one yeah because it's like it's the first-person shooter yeah it is what do you want to show you some gameplay

is it like a horror FPS I don't know if it's even horror anymore what fnaf security breach in my in my search history already

is it out yeah it's been out like a long time what um how did you not know doom boy it's like yeah there you go one year ago Mark apply a security breach

come on Mark Jesus Christ I know exactly where I am and where I'm going do you oh my god oh my god I'm a good yeah

you can out activate yeah Freddy's like talking to him over comms friend Freddie, son, update my calms. I'm surprised there's not Five Nights at Freddy's skin in One Morphor. There actually would be a Freddy skin.

Come on. Yeah, would FNAF belong in Fortnite or cod? Both, Fortnite. Fortnite. Oh, mate, so much money in Fortnite. Do you think they'll do a little crossover when the... Why is Five Nights at Freddy so popular with babies? Babies love it, don't they?

They are obsessed. It's like their first gay thing they watch. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Lots of kids use YouTube, they'll watch, they see the scary thumbnail, the Markiplier thumbnail, and they're like, ooh. And then you got Markiplier there to keep you safe. Because exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Genius. He's that warmth. Because I remember that, like, I watched all those original Markiplier FNAF videos. Yeah. Probably the best content in all of YouTube. But people were so frightened of FNAF, they would put, they would like beg in the comments, like, please give me the time codes for when there's jump skaters. Wow Because I need to know when to avoid them

It was actually like A phenomenon Yeah I never played it Was, it still is bro Never slow down How many of these do you think they've made No I mean like

When that first one came out It was like Yeah yeah By Jeebers And like wow Sort of No but you know how easy Listen to this

Five Nights at Freddy's 2014 Five Nights at Freddy's 2 2014 5 nights at Freddy's 3 2015 5 nights at Freddy's 4 2015 fnaff world 2016 5 nights at Freddy's sister location 2016 freddie Fassbear's something simulator 2017 Ultimate custom something five nights at Freddy's help wanted 2019 5 nights at Freddy's special delivery 2019 Freddy in space 2

What was the first one? Security breach, 2021. Wow. 2021. It came out two years ago. Yep. We'll put like a year and a half ago. Hey, you'll want to go home and play five nights at Freddy's?

Security Bridge. Chikaro. Bonnie. I'm hyped personally. Oh Five Nights at Freddy's It's not where you want to be Five Nights at Freddy's

I'm gonna watch the movie screen Five Nights at Freddy's We're gonna play Halo 3 There's a U2's FNAF game as well U2s Presents Five Nights at Freddy's Pop Goes Arcade All right then excellent way

I'm glad people can enjoy it will it be better will it outsell the Mario movie no Mario's for all audiences it won't outdo Mario but it's going to be huge

it's going to be fucking huge but it can't be scary then doesn't need to be bro no but the Catarctic audience is kids because they're the Five Nights of Freddy's fans so it needs to be I think it'll be PG-13, I bet you. Because, like, I think they could do that easily.

It's not like the games are like... They don't show gore. They don't show... They don't show anything. Really? Well, yeah, it's a funny little robot going. Weh! Do you think that...

Do you think the last frame in the movie is just the jumps get? No, that would be a good idea. What if the movie starts and it's just like, the whole time Markiplier's in the corner watching it for the first time? Ooh. Like, kind of meta. Oh, I see, right. He's like watching... Like, he's doing a let's play of a movie.

And then you sit and watch the movie and he's there the whole time. Oh, that part was scary, guys. Let me just call Jack Septuichai for a moment. You know? Pokeyman. Get him in there. Pokeyane, I need your help. Yeah.

Here's a question. Is it Jack's Skeptic I? Or Jack's Septic eye? Skeptic. I always heard it as Jack Skeptic. Choliosis I. Whoa. Jack's

scoliosis I, he would have to these fucking messages. Can you stick your feet in your mouth? Buy bear bear, bear. I do declare by bear bear bear. shirts and mug available now. Check the description below. Shut up, shut up, anxious, boy.

What you're anxious about? Listen, I'm anxious because you're saying we need to do these other things and leave it for the next week. And James is saying, we can do it now. This is a Marvel podcast after all. I want this to be the Infinity War cliffhanger.

Then you mean Civil War? I'm sorry I don't know the MCU as well as you. you, okay? I've always been a D.C. kind of guy. We can just call it like man-sluts too. I'm getting your headache. What's wrong with man-slots? Nothing.

And we'll talk about that next week. Ready for some man-slut kind of questions? Yeah, let's slot ourselves out. Well, this is the question segment of the jail media posidact. If you want to leave your own questions, for future episodes. I do you like my new gun thing? I was trialling that.

But that face thing, fine, I'll stop doing the gun thing. I'll go back to the rock on thing. This is the part where you can leave questions. That's even more unapplicable to you than the guns. How? I'm a rocker.

Okay, name me one what band? Metallica. No. No. No, no, they're a different band. You've got one more attempt. Queen. Yeah.

Rock on. What? I see your thoughts bouncing around your head. You see my... What was I thinking then, huh? Dumbass. What's your favorite rock band then, huh?

Um, maybe Nirvana. Yeah, you're true there. Mine is this really niche Paris-based rock fan. What was I said? You've got to put me back on track My train's gone off the rails Pick me up, put me back on the rail

Choo-choo, listen What was the rail? This is the part of the show When we get into I already said that though Where did I stop? I don't know James interrupted you

Want to play Monopoly? Want to play Swindon version of Monopoly? Don't laugh Because it's real What? It's real let's go let's fuck you guys well actually was I james you got to tell me

do you think I know that I don't I can't weed your fucking head you you oh Jim ah no please I beg you sir please sir can I have some more questions from the question thread. Swindon on Mayfair. Like the cigarettes? They're expensive. One pack of Mayfair lights, please. Two packs of Mayfler's green, please.

Can I get some Marlborough weds? Oh, Marlborough gold for me, please. Pack it... Pack a camel for me, please. Oh, James... Camel blue for me, please. James was horny for camels back in the day. No, it's meant to.

design man that's designed anyway we're going off the rails and we got to go back on the fucking rails here's a quick one from Robson green extreme have y'all seen the wedding picture of James with the long straightened hair no it's not real yeah I don't believe it's real I um see this is the thing you should fucking remember because I he went to school together when I had it was a long time ago man yeah that was an updated I I did have it um It's nearly been 13 years since... It's on my...

See, I don't even know where it is, because... I'm really unsure, but it does exist, but I don't want to see it. I want to see it, though. And that's the truth. Gabrielle's God says this. Who's the main character of JAR? I'm only asking this because I've been watching old cast and JAR videos in general. And in the video titled Update Ruben,

who is obviously no longer in the cast, says that he's the main member. of the jar. So I was wondering, who did the jar boys now consider to be the main member slash character of Jarre? He only considered himself the main member because he was egotistical. Um, none of us are decided to the members. I don't see a main. There's no main, besides me. It's no main besides me. I'd say, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a one com. It's like an ensemble anime. It's like an Avengers end of game.

You know those ensemble animas? Hmm. Problem with the Avengers comparison, though, is like... Iron Man... Black Widow. Well... Yeah, it's going. But they're both dead.

Ooh. Spoilers? So they're never that important to the assemble because they're both dead now. James has a fire point True I'm Thor baby Hey I'm Thor over here

I'm Hulk Alex can be Hawkeye Alex is fucking Hulkkeye Is his name Hawkeye Is that the DC one No that's green arrow That's green arrow hello Don't get confused

The Green Lantern Or the green spider Who's the green spider It's DC's version of Spider man Fire? It's when the Green Lantern goes I want to be Spider-Man I hate that

I'm picturing like the green I'm picturing this right Green Lantern but he's doing the Doctor Strange hand movements and then he does a spell that makes him Spider-Man he doesn't do spells he does imagination imagine how do I imagine something super unique

like a big hammer how did how do I Reynolds have a career after fucking How did Ryan Reynolds have a career full stop? The answer because he's really kind of attractive. He's just from his tiny face. His tiny eyes?

His tiny eyes. I kind of like three guy. Don't. You're a bullshitter. You're trying to piss us off. Yeah. No, I'm not. This is bait. Oh, so I can't like things, can I? Do I have to fall in line with you and I was there with you when we were watching that together? Yeah, and I was putting

And the amount of times you looked me in the eye and you gave me that look. Don't do this to me now. You were cringing hard, man. Yeah. You were like the most shot at all of us. You genuinely liked the Eternals more than Free Guy. Yeah. At least that, you're like engaged.

You're like watching it. You're like, wow, this is really making me think about things. No, I generally considered walking out of Free Guy, but I couldn't because I was with both of you. It was like, you didn't take your own stuff. If you, that would have been fire if you'd left and actually got the bus. Hey, yeah. That would have been fire, actually. That would have been so fire.

Mm, mm. Ask a question then, Jesus. Uh, I'm getting scared. Revert to monkey has this one. Excited and nervous, I sit down at my desk. Oh, this is a chat, GBT one, isn't it? Uh I don't think so

As I do every week I begin refreshing the page Every ten seconds No jarcast No jar cast No jar cast And then suddenly Jarcast

My face lights up I move my cursor to the thumbnail Click Then finally select the Description so I can Peruse the time codes Not the first Not the second

As I reach the end of the list My heart drops My hand falls from the mouse And my body goes limp as I realize it's another week without my favorite segment Jingles Shingles Hmm

There's actually That was only half of it I'm not going to read the other Um Yeah sorry Jingle Shingles Is postponed for some time Yeah

We're working on something In the background It drives the budget up too much At the moment Well it's one of those things We're like we'll get to it But we've been working on it For a long time

It's going to take a lot Does anyone know where we can find like a 180-inch TV? That we can put on the floor and kind of stand on it. So we can get those overhead shots where we're standing on the screen. Yeah. Oh, like a screen built into the floor. Yeah, that's really weird and cool. And then you cut to the overhead camera and it's like,

Jingles, shingles, baby. And you jump on the screen and it's like showing crazy stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and we have to wear like really, really leather coats and look really cool. Yeah, look like right of the matrix. yeah and tiny black sunglasses yeah that would be that would be fire as well that that is going to be fire and we can like talk about pre-order stories on it that was a good one the pre-order podcast let's bring that back yeah i've got i've got a disturbing one from our slash jar media

for you guys are you boys aware of the popularity of doby as a harry pitt potter fan fiction character. It's pretty astounding some of the things Dobby gets up to in some people's fantasies kind of adds to the Dobby's Jaina law that has been established. Are we talking about the fan fictions that are of sexual nature?

Oh, of course. So we're talking about Dobby's literal gina getting pounded. Well, I've got one here called a house elf's needs. Oh. What do you reckon? Bro, I don't know. Like last episode, you've guys got

of your buzzer when you wanted to Stop, you buzz, yeah. Bing, wing, wing. Oh, this is, this has actually got a warning. This contains slash and some very strange dobby pairings. Slash.

Continue at your own risk. I don't know, just says S-L-A-S. This includes Gash. This contains infinity slash. Continue at your own risk. The author cannot be held responsible for squicking anybody. The hell does that mean?

I assume like grossing someone. Okay, read and enjoy, and don't forget to review. I don't own Harry Potter. I wouldn't want to either. The rain beat against the window panes, tapping on the glass with a continuous, irritating wrapping. It was a stormy night. The wind was howling outside, whistling around the eaves of the cabin. Inside, though, the room was warm and snug. A fire crackled merrily, throwing dancing patterns of light on the walls. This sounds like the start of a Wed Dead Redemption fanfic. Hagrid sat firmly, in coat.

In const, in his big armchair, darning socks. At that moment, though, his hands were still. He looked dubiously at the eager house health in front of him. You're too small, Dobby, he explained. I'd rip year open. Dobby stretches, sir. The house elf said breathlessly. Please, sir, Dobby wants you to.

Hagrid studied him musing to himself. A tiny mite like yourself. and an out-o-giant like me. No, Dobby, why do you want to do this so bad? Are you auditioning for the goddamn audio book? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing the voices and everything? Dobby gazed up at him avidly.

Tennis ball's, tennis ball eyes watering. Dobby is an outcast, sir. He squealed plaintively. Other households do not approve of Dobby. Dobby admires Harry Potter very much, but he needs more Sir, Harry Potter. He looked guilty and lowered his voice to a whisper. Harry Potter's not big enough to fulfill Dobby's needs.

He looked horrified at himself and started banging his head on Hagrid's table. Hagrid let him continue for a moment, too taken aback to react. He stared at Dobby, who was now punishing himself vigorously before grabbing the elf by the back of his neck and hauling him away from the furniture. Harry screwed you. Hagrid asked Thunderstruck Dobby nodded his head enthusiastically

Yes sir Harry Potter did not want to at first but he felt so sorry for Dobby that he did it as a Christmas present sir And he wasn't bigger enough for a year Hagrid said Raising one bushy eyebrow

The way he looked at Harry's wand would have been the diameter of a pencil if Dobby considered him poorly endowed Poor kid he thought Dobby likes Harry Potter I'm surprised you guys like you must like this you haven't pressed the buttons yet

I was waiting for the button it's written so like you know with such grandeur and energy it's kind of stringing me along Dobby likes oh hang on got to do the voice Dobby likes Harry Potter very much sir but he is wanting more

Dobby squeaked earnestly Ever since Dobby is freed He has only his friends to keep him busy, except for Christmases. Nothing else, eh, Dobby? Hagrid asked. Dobby looked embarrassed and tugged at the tea. That's what is that?

Dobby is using Professor Dumbledore's wand sometimes. He acknowledged guiltily. Hagrid, who had just taken a gulp of tea, choked and spat it out. The Moldor's wand? Yes, sir, Dumbledore has a very big wand. Dobby said. Hagrid coughed, a blush rising up against his tangled beard. "'You're now, Dobby, when you say his wand, do you mean his real wand?'

"'The one he does magic with?' "'Dobby seemed puzzled for a second, then nodded, so hard his bat like he is, flapped against his skull. "'Yes, sir. Professor Dumbledore's doing great magic with his wand,' he squeaked. "'But is it—' "'Never mind,' Hagrid muttered, trying desperately not to think about the house elf's words. Images of Dumbledore and Dobby kept floating up, more to distract himself than to please Dobby. He stood up and put his cup down.

All right, Dobby, bend over and drop you shorts. He said, resigning himself to the inevitable. After all, if Harry had done it. Dobby's eyes filled with tears of joy. Thank you, sir, thank you. Dobby's been so lonely. He hastened to comply, turning around. presenting Hagrid with the bare posterior.

Hagrid groaned at the sight. It confirmed his worst fears. Screwing Dobby was going to be a bit like trying to ram a baseball bat through the eye of a needle. And I'm going to stop right there. Yeah. Thank you for that. How did we, why, why did you just read that? What do you mean why?

Because it was fire? I have to say it was really quite. boring do you think so no you don't this is really

you look what's that the fan fiction thing it's all about the buildup you know

you'll set the scene yeah yeah no no I'm I'm being

just harsh because it it doesn't like fit with you know my

I mean you weren't getting turned on hmm I feel I laugh I

I feel dirty after reading yeah why do they have to like you know Dobby was like pure and innocent that's why they choose them man they want to destroy their innocence hmm you know yeah filthify filthify Dobby's too clean we need to filthifyy jk.

k wrong did that already right let's do two more bitch Three more. Okay. Let's do two more here. Godzilla says, with the announcement of ReviewTech USA versus the quartering in a YT boxing event

and the recent Wings of Redemption versus boogie fight, what are the guys' thoughts on YT boxing? Is it something you follow? Is it becoming exploitative or a force for good in the world? Thanks for a long-term watcher

and infrequent commenter. I hate ReviewTech USA piece a fucking shit out of the quartering. I hope it's a fucking bloodbath. Like, genuinely. I wanted it to be a bloodbuff. I'm surprised the Quatering, like, agreed to that, to be honest. Yeah, he's gonna get a shat on.

Hopefully. It is a weird trend that I never saw, like, coming. I saw it coming. As soon as, um, like... A YT YouTuber. Yeah. I saw it coming as soon as Conan McGregor started fighting Floyd Moeuvre. That was a crossover event of two different sports for clout.

Right. Then it was like, that's in the realm of sports you know it's like jumping no but then it jumped to um what's his name the pools the pools that was a may river versus pool that was a big and that's when it was set in stone that's going to be these youtubeing fights but what what is it though about the pools doing that because i thought like they didn't really dictate other things like everyone despise them no no everyone loves them but like fights you just like get respect Yeah, no, when...

You want to see him getting punched, I guess. Yeah, that's it. Then if he performs well, it's like, you can talk shit about someone, but if they know how to, like, knock someone out, then you kind of just inhale it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have earned a bit of respect there,

whether it's, like, staged or not. Well, obviously, I'm the kind of guy. I know a hell of a lot about boxing. Yeah, as all three of us do. I've always been into it, uh, obviously. I have no beef with it. I think it's just going to happen. Yeah, I mean, just don't...

Yeah, I just like, I don't care. I just think it's lame if it's like All the bunch of YouTubeers like Let's do it now because it's like Popular Yeah popular Yeah, yeah Do it if you're actually like interested in doing it

Why is I do boxing? Why can it be like some insane Something something nutty? Yeah, Brazilian Jiuzitsu I'm talking even nuttier man Lacrosse Make up a sport Do something insane No those iron armour suits with swords

Those MMA full armour fights They're in like wash or something Because, like, personally, I'd rather see sort of, like, a, like, a total wipeout type thing. Like, but even more extreme. And then you watch YouTube. No, Takeshi's Castle. Yeah, Takesh's Castle. That would be, that would be, that would watch.

No, I would live, assume, want live stream, I'd be there. Everyone would be there. Watching, like, all these YouTubers, you kind of fake getting smacked by those big balls. Yeah. I feel like that'll be more satisfying for what I'm looking for my entertainment Mr. Beast, don't take this idea, okay? He's probably already done it. No, he did the Squid Games.

Mr. Beast, I lost royalties, okay? This is our idea. I've got a patent pending. But I'm Beast. Ooh. I was around before him. He's younger than I. by like five years he's like 21 or something why does he look like 39 don't no come don't

cause B for mr. Beast we're gonna fight him next we're gonna be called up for a YouTuber fight against mr. I feel like he he's got the vibe of like speaking of Avengers you know there's that like villain who flies around like this and he just goes like when it like does like yeah yeah mr. Beast is that guy yeah you know what saying I'm going to consume Dobby's Jino Get away from Dobby

Hagrid He's mine You know That's a Mr. Beast type move Who's Mr. Beast Which one is he? Mr. B IH

Oh Hey I'm not gonna cause I hate everything Biggest YouTuber Blow Up Season Versus another

YouTube season yet Mr. Beast versus I hate everything box mr bisk i hear everything is boxing mr beast next tuesday see you next tuesday i don't know how tall is he he's about he's probably equal should i find out yeah mr beast's true abilities true stats no but that means if he fights you we've got to fight his like fellow his entourage yeah he's yeah we've got fight the entourage he bought like an entire neighborhood for his entourage yeah he's got like a thousand he's got like an army

people he's like given money to he can call up he's he no but which which of his goon squad would you fight who'd I have to fight I don't know his goon squad I do I'd fight his oh my god it's huge what sneako was in the really really early mr. beast episodes

no he was in one mr. beast was a huge fan of sneaker yeah one of his biggest inspirations yeah was a fan of sneko yeah but early sneko was a different completely different person sneaker's been around a long time I didn't know So Mr. Beast is huge.

He's the same height as the fucking rock. Wait, when he's shut up. He's taller. He's bigger than the rock. He takes that shirt off and he's like, no, because if they're going to do this YouTube fight, he would have access to the best everything. You'd end up fighting the actual wok.

He'd be as big as the walk. That's crazy. I don't think you're going to win. No, Alex could win. I don't know, but what you... He'd be there doing the, the Drago exercises, like, All the science and stuff. Alex would just be there crawling through the dirt,

getting ripped, eating mud and shit. And I'd play dirty anyway. I'd take James' advice. Kick a straight for those nuts. Well, no, that's not allowed in boxing. What you want to do is... Oh, really? Oh, shit. It's sneakily where knuckle dusters.

No, go further. Ooh, yeah. Kill him. Go further. Use a full-out fucking punch things that explode. Sacrifice your arm. to win the fire. To kill him.

This is correct. I'm just kind of still, like, shocked. Man. Hmm. I guess, yeah. Eat your beans. He's definitely been eating beans. That man eats lots of beans.

Hello, Billy. Mr. Beast might be a big bean fan. I reckon he is. He might be a big of bean fan than Angu Joe. I reckon... When's Angry Joe getting a YouTube fight? He's called Angry Joe. Hmm, who would be a good fight?

I think he'd be frightening in a fight. Joe Piscuali. The one I really wanted to see was that Chris Raygun joked about fighting Ray William Johnson. That would have been fired. That would have rocked. Ray William Johnson kind of looks chunky, though. You know, like, he's got strength. I could imagine him running from like an aerial view.

From an aerial view? Yeah, I'm just picturing right now an aerial view of... Like top down, like... top-down Miami. Like the original G-T-As. Yeah. Yeah, no, I see what you're saying. He's got that perfect sort of frame.

And I can picture, like, the arc of his movement, like, perfectly. Yeah, there's something, I don't know why, but it's in my head. Yeah. You know that there's a jar of thumb now that Swartz Arnold running? It's a jar. Yeah, it's like that's in my head, but kind of mixed with very little ones. It's tiny Arnold. How many people are Sam Hyde for?

a fight. I'm not sure. Because he's just like actually scary. He scares the fuck. Maybe Mr. Beast needs to fight Sam Hyde. Maybe that's. No, that'd be a bloke. They're about the same height. Sam Hyde that huge? Yes. Yes. He got scary

fucking huge. No, I mean like tool. Yeah. Yeah, he's like a monster. Because Mr. Beast is like an ordinary human right? Yeah, Sam Hyde is not a normal human being. He's a bit of a beast. He is the Mr. Beast. Of like the white wing. No, he's Mrs. Beast.

No, he's Mr. Beast. No, he's Captain Beast. No, he's... He's... Colonel, Lieutenant Colonel Beast. Holy shit. I'm pretty sure he is on, like... Yeah, no, he's obviously on that.

...a hormones of some kind. I'm sure he's done a lot. What the fuck? No, it's that shirt. No, that picture of his face. That is so fucking funny. No, where's that picture of it? I think he puts like a million filters on them, man.

Yeah, he does. Which face, which one? No, but you take a picture of that his, like, face, like enlarged on a shirt. Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one here. That face. I get on a bag. No, because I don't think I mentioned that I did watch, like, a bunch of Sam Hyde's, like, car videos. because he did like these silly car videos.

Yeah, yeah. And like, I know that he's a bit risky and has like some, yike has history and what he's done. But he is funny. He is fucking funny. I often think about that whole slingshot part of the Idub's documentary. That is like so funny to me. When they pull up in that fucking thing and they start just shit talking it,

it's like really funny, that whole segment. I can't believe Idubs. was dumb enough to like try to engage Sam Hyde like that because it's like you can't win you try to get the upper hand on Sam Hyde but it's just like now Sam Hyde fucking

you can't troll the troll man yeah you can't do it oh Sam he's funny man he's funny have you seen any silly Sam Hyde videos no really you need to they're funny I don't really watch content yeah you just watch YouTube Shores Just watch Eldham Ring Law

No, Jamie, stop doing that No, I haven't There's no more law to get out of that game Well, you have your beliefs, I'll... So that's a Batty, man Does Vassie do Eldon Wings videos? Duh. Are you dumb? Are you stupid? I thought that was a destiny guy.

Oh, that's Bife. Oh, fuck. I know, they're like, they have the same voice. They don't. Totally different. Does he do Warhammer Law videos? That's clearly where everyone's going to go because it's that bit, it's that deep. It's not just about deepness. It's not just about the depth. He's not lutein.

He's not lutein. It's not just about the depth. Don't care. Who is the best law guy? Lutin. No, Lutin's the best law guy. He's been doing it longer than anyone. No, Vatty.

There must be something. There must be someone else. Varty. Luton. It is Varty. It's not. No, I'm sorry, it's Varty. Oh, why is that?

How long is his videos? It's not about length. It's not about depth. What is it then? Okay. Oh, is it because he does YouTube show? Surely it should be a little about depth. No, yeah.

Quality kind of is the depth, you know. No, no. Like, what do you just mean? If you've got all this law, like, oh, there's so much law, it's so deep. But then no way of conveying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there's YouTube shorts that come out. Elderming is only that.

What law do you get from that world? What vatty vids have you watched? I don't watch Vivid. Exactly. So you've never seen one. I've seen content from both, and I can tell you that there is a more cinematic presence, there's more... You've only seen... How long are the videos?

No, tell me how long are his videos on average? No, tell me, by example. Some are 10, some are 50? Lutins are always over an hour. So, actually, the quality of the video production is going to be very different. Because they're bigger, they're bigger videos, they're bigger video. It's not comparable. What Varti does?

Why Vartis are so entertained? right is because he releases like a story he'll like tell a story right with visuals and music and action and he's like put this whole thing together it's like multiple people working on this project to make this fucking beautiful thing then instantly it's not you can't compare luton's one guy it's lutein you can't compare James just moved the goalpost so no no no but what you're you're you me the thing I was saying. Luton is the G.

The quality is important because you sometimes will get that YouTube short, that TikTok, whatever. It's Eldon Ring Law. And it's a really interesting bit of law, but the presenters like, well, fuck, guy, that's the new Elder Ring War drop.

Yeah, Mike's like, baby, baby, baby, baby. Hey, Guy, that's the new Elder Ring bit of lore. Luton has the perfect voice for Warhammer Law. Yeah, and I'm not chatting shit at Luton. Right. I'm just saying, like, if you want me to stay engaged with a long form... I will say, Lutin's videos are more like an audio book that you listen to.

Yeah. Maybe Vatis is more of a theatrical experience, a cinematic. He does both. I sometimes, I like the long stuff that I can have on in the background that I can listen to while doing. To listen to Luton's more as like a podcast, that's like a huge benefit. of his i get that i get that if we if if all three of us like as our personalities our characters had to be assigned to be like the law guy of one thing will definitely the law master this answer drifting uh japan drifting yeah my actual because i know a lot already um i actually found a fellow

guna with like 3 000 subscribers who did this really good documentary on a single track in japan And it was like... How did you find him? Suggested. Because he made a mix... Yeah, he made a mixtape of drum and bass to go with his video. And I found the mixtape and I was like, oh shit. And then he released this really, really well-produced documentary video.

And it's like, yeah, you've got 3,000 subscribers, this is lit. Watch it, it's called Sequeah Hills documentary, search it, is lit. Supporting those small YouTubers. Damn straight. Damn straight. But I technically, I am a log guy. I'm literally archiving loads of magazines. True, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm the law. It was a law rule. Yeah. I'd be like the nipple clamp law guy. Yeah, probably. What law is there to nipple clamps? Like, what, 1800s, like, torture devices? Yeah.

And they never changed. Yeah. For me, it would be beef jerky law. Have you tried Bill Tong? Yeah. Do you? African Biltong Not African

Chippinem on a Friday High Street African Biltong Really? Yeah Although I'm starting I'm starting to go out

My jerky thing So My thing would be I'd be a law guy For like one thing That I'm into For like one month And I would change

Yeah No I do the same ship No but you'd be like The candle guy You are actually A candle lore Including incense sticks Mm

Candle and incense sticks. law. Yeah. And coffee's already, coffee's already like conquered. Yeah, yeah,

so fine. Like, gonna shout out James Hoffman yet again. I've watched his videos constantly at the moment. He's the guy. My coffee's been getting better.

I've been listening to his advice on roasting, roasting, you know, dark rose, light roast, what you do. My aeropress technique is beautiful because I just, I perfect, I adjusted his to my little taste. Okay.

You can't drink in. When you watch a James Hoppin video, your life is... That's why I can't. I can't watch his content because it... If I start having nice coffee, I won't be able to go back. Yeah, that's the thing, you can't. You can't go back. Well, exactly. If you put a hot instant in front of me?

Dude, I'm next level cringe. I had to get up extra early on Wednesday, right? Yeah. I got some pre-workout gummews. workout gummies I thought hmm you know what some pre-workout gummy bears no they're just they're more like gummy squares cubes not cubes they're like gummy berry shapes not berry I know what I'm sure about generic like generic like generic gummy for like CBD and like protein and caffeine bigger though they're quite big um like the

multivitamins gummies kind of like that yes giant bigger they're massive like this they're like two multi-vitamin gummies on top of each other yummy yeah so like a proper burger a gummy burger they're not I'm just talking about your echinacea in between so anyway yeah

for my caffeine in the early morning so I didn't have to make a coffee I just ate three gummies good caffeine gummies how'd you find it's better better than instant coffee it's not Shut up.

Coffee is full of, like, fiber and, like, poo production. True, it's good for your digestion, isn't it? It is. It genuinely is. It's really good for your buying. Not instant, surely. It's the same stuff, man. Just shit. Yeah. You're consuming the same thing, but worse.

Why didn't you just get, like, an aeropress and just make some good coffee? Because then I'd have to get an aeropress and make some good coffee. No, this is the bullshit thing. My aeropress takes barely any long. than instant in terms of quality let's race let's race

no that's obviously the instant's going to win but then then there's like five minutes to fit 30 seconds and the quality is so different that that 30 seconds is pointless I'm a coffee five minutes is a big step from 30 seconds

no but half of that is brewing so you're doing normal things you're productive which means at work you're liked more They don't like you at work If you're constantly going for coffee breaks You get mocked Mockered Yeah no

In a workplace environment If you have coffee regularly You get mocked How regular is regular? Every hour? Yeah That would be a lot, yeah Yeah

Every three hours That seems fine Yeah that's a fine That's a fine ratio What about every half an hour Every five minutes Have it on time Have the instant.

Yeah. Why not? Why not? You know? No, but everyone knows the instant shit. Alex, do you know the instant shit? No, he knows. He agrees.

He has a machine. I don't drink instant. It does make my... Would you? I used to drink it back in the flat and it made my tummy good. And then I nearly fainted. Yeah, but you didn't eat anything. Oops.

No, it was more. I wasn't drinking water that much back then. So I go on really long hikes after drinking a cup of coffee and be like, why am I dying? Why do I feel like this? I'm not saying that I'm not trudging you for drinking. Yes, you are. But like, if you do want to drink nice things, don't by instant.

What if I don't want to drink nice things? Got to stay humble. It's not staying humble. You're just making your quality of life worse. No, because it's like the argument. What if I am still humble? When you consume something so much in a day and it's like such a part of your day, you know, like traveling to work, you spend a lot of time doing that.

Sleeping, you want a good mattress. Drinking coffee, a lot of people do that regularly. So why would you like slack on any of those? You want a nice bet. You wouldn't purposely lay in a really uncarnedful bed with really shit bedding. So why are you happily drinking shit coffee? Why are you happily driving a car in... Billy!

What's she doing? There's the pole. Billy! Boy! Fucking asshole. And it's the same. It's like, you wouldn't. When you're cooking for yourself.

No, no, wait. Listen, no. When, if we were doing an hour and a half journey on the motorway with no air conditioning in summer, you wouldn't go. So why would you happily consume shit of coffee? I have. You have and you didn't on the return journey. How often when you cook a meal? Yep.

Do you prepare everything? perfectly it's not every day no because no because this is sometimes this is the different argument

do an easy thing or order something in that you know is much worse for you and cost more no no that that that's saying

that prepping a whole meal is like going to the extremes that's a huge jump that's a huge jump you're making a huge jump comparing like travel no no that's the argument

of like when you're doing something so much you want to do that good nice thing more than you drink coffee. So I think that if anything, it's more comparable. It's like the consumption of something. Those, yes. So that is comparable and how often do you choose to have something easy and convenient

as opposed to something nicer but takes more effort? It's a pretty common thing. The counter argument to this is like a microwave meal was four minutes and microwave. Cooking a meal is 20 to 30 minutes. right so the comparison time jump in quality there is is a lot compared to a minute to five minutes it's not that much when you're in terms of like ratios it's not that no but then then two to three minutes of that is brewing so two minutes compared to one minute oh of like active part of but yeah so that the time so you're doubling the time but in cooking it's like you're

not active the whole time no but no but that is a clear like kind of vegetables kind of sorting your meat seasoning, what not. That takes a lot more than throwing something in the microwave. So when you think about a microwave meal, 30 seconds of doing, compared to, you know, one minute of doing coffee, then compare food to half hour of cooking or 20 minutes, so 15 minutes, to then basically two minutes of coffee stuff, one minute, two minutes, or 30 seconds to 15. That the jump in time for food is so, so much bigger that it's borderline not comparable to just changing the way you consume coffee. but also you have to

buy extra gear you have to that's this is the strongest argument against it because coffee beans like the reason that James Hoffman is into like this cop being a coffee guy is like he doesn't like instant because it does come

at the direct expense of farmers who make who grow coffee because it's they're just basically freeze drying ground coffee to make the instant right and they're happy doing that at the cheapest prices and that comes at the expense of the farmers

so buying specialist coffee is like the people who get in those beans in they're paying more to the farmer so it's more sustainable for them don't even know where I'm going with this I'll tell you where I'm going but yeah no the problem with that is obviously 250 gram of specialist coffee is 15 pound

I get through 800 grams a month that's 60 pounds of coffee beans 100 grams a month 100 grams a month 800 I went through 400 grams of coffee in two weeks so in a month

that's around 800 grams of coffee right 15 pound for 200 60 pound of coffee a month that is like that's a lot of money that's a lot of money yeah but that's obviously

specialist coffee that I'm getting on a description yeah yeah but the whole argument against it is like compare that to a five pound massive part of instant that is that huge change in quality.

Yeah, and I this is the thing with taking anything like further, you know? And if I am drinking coffee to reach a feeling a physical

chemical feeling. You want that tiredness blocked. Yeah. See, this is the weird thing. I've stuck the way to the, to the back realms so far that it only ever appears in the morning before I've drank coffee.

I, the thing I don't understand caffeine I don't know what caffeine feels like I have no idea about this feeling you're on about I have no relation to it I have no idea coffee just makes me yawn if I've drank if I've just

like freshly made coffee and drank it I'm yawning extensively for the next two hours weird man I have no idea what caffeine feels like so when I drink coffee no I've never had the shakes ever it's horrible and I've consumed a lot of caffeine

It's nice It's nice, yeah It's comforting It's horrible So it's like When I consume coffee Like if I miss And just like

So busy I miss coffee If I miss having a coffee I won't feel any different Compared to when I do drink coffee There'll be no noticeable difference In how awake I feel Or how energized I feel Really

There's no difference So I'm drinking coffee for flavour So drinking instant is just like I'm only getting flavour from this So why do I consume this flavourless horrible thing Yeah, it's like the difference between like, like an alcoholic drinking, like famous grouse or a single malt, you know? Glamarangi.

What, what? Well, the alcoholics more likely. You're the single malt, right? And I'm like, I'm only doing it to get pissed. And you're saying, well, an alcoholic wouldn't. Yeah, but I wouldn't say an alcoholic. would be willing to drink like a really nice whiskey just to get pissed

so like get with the alcoholic terms I'm the famous grouse yeah you're just trying to get pissed yeah and if you did drink famous grouse I would judge you it is really shit yes it is rough yeah but yeah no I know what you mean yeah I'm saying you just like the drink

yes I like the chemical yeah I don't I mean but then it would be definitely if you're like you're trying to get pissed by drinking lager but then it's like, what? What's wrong with lager? Lager's yummy? No, it's not.

I don't, I don't vibe with lager because it's just empty calories and it makes you feel... It gives you a nice sexy dad bod beer belly. I don't want to... That's actually... No.

A little pot belly. If you can't... If you try and twerk and the only thing that moves is your belly. Too many lagers. I try to have a quone. recently, actually. Crona's nice.

Crona's nice, but it was a 500, 600 millie a bottle. They are a bit chunky. I can get through it, so it's left on my side. The funny thing is, I can drink a fucking 40 pack of Corona and be fine, but if I drink like two of those big bottles, I'm dead. Really? Is that because of glutton or because of alcohol quantity? I think just because I've got that dog in him.

You've only loves those big bottles of grain. To be fair. Is Moretia a lager? Yes. That's a lovely one. Oh, I don't know what, in the bottle Not as good Not as good, on tap

That's like, you know, put it in a long, thin, That was lovely. Red stripe on tap? I've not tried Red stripe on tap Because you never invite me. What are you talking about, man? Red stripe on tap kind of rocks But before we get too far, I need to mention this

Because it's something that has disturbed me And I keep hearing it and I can't take it anymore What? To do a coffee. What, okay. It seems like a normal thing for Americans to put cream and sugar in it. What does that mean? I've never, ever, ever heard of this.

They put cream in. Do you want creamer? They put cream in their coffee. And sugar them. But like when they say cream, do they, what do they mean? Cream. Like actual cream? Yeah, cream.

So it's like a... Do you never have cream? Do you not mean cremer? Creamer. Cremer. Cremer. No, it's cremmer. Creamer.

James Hoffman says it's cremmer. It's cremmer. Is he? American? No, he's London. Kremmer. Kramer. Kramer. No, think about all the American movies. Do you want Kramer did? No, Kremas, what, that thing that comes on top of an espresso. I just think of that, like, cream and sugar? You know, like,

they're a little bubbly, like, brown bubbles you get on America. That's a Kramer. That's a Kramer. No, I'm talking about Kramer. No, but Kramer's a thing with coffee, Kramer. No, I'm talking about creamer. You mean, and what is it? what cream so it's literally just like double cream single cream probably no americans are no way having cream with coffee have you never had cream with coffee no no well cream in yeah it's like a like a sweeter like it's nice i'm sure it's nice if you have cream in like an americano i know what you want about there and mix in some brown sugar that that like as a sweet Have you ever tried lager with coffee?

I feel like this sweetness thing is like a real... Yeah, that's the thing that is you drink half an espresso, then you get alcohol and you mix it in. That's right. And then you fucking boom. That's why we need to go to Italy. Maybe we should go somewhere. I don't know, man. I feel like...

It gets too far at a certain level. You can't be adding cream and sugar to every... You know, every coffee you're having every down day. Maybe one day when you're just feeling a little bit lonely and you need... Yeah, for a little treat. Yeah, just a little disaster. A little disaster. Yeah.

A little creamy disaster. Okay, what about this? What about this? Americano. Come and give me a cuddle. Oh, okay. Soda water. Yeah.

Americano of soda water. I hate soda water. A fizzy Americano. Is that like a thing? Yeah. Really? In Japan. Wait.

I'm going to make one. Summer, summer drink. because it's, you know, cold, bubbly. I hate soda water. Ew, I don't like fizziness. It makes me, it gives me a little... You don't like soda water. I hate soda water.

What about tonic water? Tonic water I can... Oh, I love a little glass of tonic water. I find it a bit... It's got quinine in it, dude. Quinning, hence, like, tonic, right? Because it's, it was... It combated mosquitoes malaria, bro.

No, once you told me that, I'm like... I'm never going to stop drinking tonic now. and I've been bitten since not true went on a hike the other day something went for me man was it like one of this I was just walking along

and I felt like what felt like a sting in it or brush up against my foot my ankle is it a horse horse spider I think it was a horse fly because bro I took a picture of this shit

it like look nasty you got the bug I got I told you you get bugs what the fuck I went like black oh there's a worm in there maybe I've been like injected

you're gonna be resident evil soon you're gonna be evil in this horse flies love me man yeah they do they can smell like a blood they smell your blood through your stinky booty correct well that's why wash your air that's why I use baby wipes look a face apt neck to be smiling oh he looks a lot friendlier yeah he does Billy you're cute

look at her I've, I... She's the softest cat I've ever, man. No, she's not. You don't notice how she's not a killer anymore. She's not a killer. She's not a killer. She hasn't killed anything for a while.

That you know of. Aside from the small little lung, that I found. Yeah, that's just one thing, like she fucked up that time and forgot something. You know she's getting another shit. She was too full. I don't believe, I think she's too fat now. Oh, no, she's eaten... She's eating fat.

She's staying fat, she's eating so many rats. No, she is not... I love cats when they do that, or that happens to them. It's just great. The one thing, this is the end of the episode, okay? Okay. You can end on the keyboard cat thing. Do you remember the part, the untold Mandela effect of the keyboard cat thing?

The sequel? The majority of the video is the... Meow, meow, meow, meow. we're like the beat shifts and it changes no one remembers that part yeah the second half sucked yeah because everyone's like look at this funny cat then they're like laughing for that first bit

then the laugh dies down and then it switches to the other song and they're like yeah no but I'm gonna show this is maybe my fieriest hottest take ever put on jar the second half of Keywork cat is better okay let me watch it is it in the same video yeah it's in the video

when did you watch this recently and you know it's funny I typed in keyboard than my first most recent search result was keyboard ASMR I love I like no typing it's really it's really relaxing big mechanical keyboard how long is it is if it's 50 55 seconds yeah man have you found you struggling to find keyboard no I have found it It's just a classic play I never liked it Because you didn't

I didn't Ooh Here we go Yeah it's coming Okay it's got a 9 inch now's Yeah Yeah A deep bass

Meow Meow No, the meow ruins it Man, you're so wrong I think James is liking it I do like I prefer that I think that's more creative than the first off

Thank you That's decided on jar then Thank you The keyboard cat's dead by the way Fuck off Why'd you say that Thank you.