JAR Media Posdact - GOON - Corncast 35

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 ...Intro 03:16 Comment Crucible 12:29 Small Primate Ancestors 18:33 Octowire 21:05 Goon 32:29 Mid Break & Patron Names 41:44 Reddit Questions 44:41 What fictional character would you add to the jar roster (argy pizza story) 48:09 Thoughts on the Weeknd 49:45 Sagon of Swidders 50:39 Disgusting Would You Rather 55:29 Lego Game Death Sound 55:47 Pee in sink 58:47 What classifies a gamer? 1:02:31 What happened to Orga8? (And Ori Dibby) 1:05:44 Dreamland in Margate 1:06:30 Our Ailments   PO Box: IHE PO Box 4268 CALNE SN11 7AY

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gents. Welcome to Corncast 35. I'm your host Alex, joined as always by the goon himself. James. What did you just say? I called you a game. Why did you call me that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Why are you aiming that at me? You know, that movie with the guy from America. American pie? Goon? No, no, that's, no. I'm James. The pisser dictator himself, Jim. The pisser dictator? Mm-hmm. Okay. That's fucking bullshit. Fuck off Gein. Oh, you're not getting all upset about the names and they're like... Oh, yeah. They're weight. Okay, okay, let me reintroduce you. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's done. James, he's been labelled.
Starting point is 00:00:56 No, he's not. No, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do a group vote. Let's do a group vote. Let's do a group vote. It's James the Goon. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Why do you have such a problem with this goon concept? What?
Starting point is 00:01:11 I don't. It's the new jar meme. Is it? Well, you've just made it a meme by describing it that way. And now everyone's going to. If you just embraced it, no one would have cared. We'll get into goons in the episode. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:25 And last but not least, are you ready? For a teddy. You like that one, I could tell Yeah Before we get too deep into the episode Let me shout out of the patrons Over at the Patreon And get your name read out in the midsection
Starting point is 00:01:39 Although That will be changing to once a month From April How we doing, lads It's time For a new corn More corn
Starting point is 00:01:50 I don't know about you guys But It's just Another week Another week in this Whatever this is Yeah, Yeah, corn
Starting point is 00:01:59 corn coast is a good name actually because like this is like imagine if every meal every day you could only eat corn how sick of corn would you be yeah that's actually a really good comparison sick of quarantine corn well yeah it's at a point now where like if i'm watching like i've been watching the wire lately um and it's just like just basic normal scenes of like someone in a fuck like someone at some kind of gathering it's like what this shit like I just so used to normally um but now I'm missing out on and it's just it's just sad yeah I've been having that same thing any media even like movies that are coming out recently like even things like made during the pandemic and like having to think about seeing the awkward way they must have to shoot it yeah but seeing two people like talk to each other like in a small area you know between them it's it's I just don't see that
Starting point is 00:03:07 anymore it's bizarre it's messed up times we're living in man yeah man but uh we got we got to we got to go there we got to go to the crucible um obviously uh so many of the comments were were about the the naming of the housekeeping segment for example where's one Bill Hader gaming has one for us to start this housekeeping discussion going. Honestly, what was wrong with calling the opening segment housekeeping? It rolled off the tongue and communicated what its point was to clean up slash conclude the conversations from last episode and move on to the next. Bonus points for coming up with comment crucible, but for simplicity's sake, it might be better to go back to the classic. Problem is we've never cared about simplicity's sake.
Starting point is 00:03:54 That's never been at the top of the list. Yeah, I'm adjourned. Moving on. Yeah, I'm happy with the Crucible for now. Did Picasso make his masterpieces by just following the norms, you know? We're out here making modern art. We can't just, you know, bend over and let the man do what he wants. There were a couple of the suggestions like Finn Neville said the patron name section should be called the Checkpoint. How do you feel about that?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Is it a bit too gamer? Yeah, it's too gamer. Yeah, I don't think that's necessary. I'm happy with just the patron name section. Yeah, I don't think it needs to be changed. Maybe if it was like the checkpoint, that's not like jar related. When I think checkpoint, I think of video games. Yeah, it's a video game.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yeah. Profile feather left a suggestion. An idea for a replacement of the term comment barrel is circle time. If you don't know, it was kind of a popular primary school thing with the teacher would answer kids' questions to students while the kids sit in a circle around the teacher the similarities are uncanny between the two ideas again i i think crucible works better than circle time here circle time is pretty funny there i remember circle time yeah i'm just kind of traumatized by it actually really did you have a bad circle time experience yeah really bad circle time experiences i used to like that you know it was like a
Starting point is 00:05:25 circle time thing they brought out that big like sheet that everyone held like a corner of and then would lift it into the air yeah yeah sheet yeah I don't know how else to describe it like a big yeah do you not remember this oh and you're to like crawl underneath it yeah while everyone is in like a ring making it go up you down or whatever I remember that it's weirdly like cultish yeah it's very like midsummery kind of stuff yeah it's fun like you know that bit in the Big Lubbowski where there's that woman, like the topless woman, being flung around. Do you not think that would be fun?
Starting point is 00:06:02 I think it would be really fun. Just a huge sheet with like 50 guys launching you into the air. That sounds pretty good. Do I get to have my titties out too, though? Yeah. Yeah, I'm in then. I learned something really messed up from the comments. A guy named Ryan says, I don't know if you guys already know this, but
Starting point is 00:06:25 Smarties in America, this is in reference to our discussion on Smarties versus M&Ms, are actually very different than the UK version. Here they don't actually have any chocolate and are instead a flavourless, chalk-like candy. No one actually likes them. Yes, I actually did know. I knew that Smarties were different in the US and Canada. I know that Mars bars are different and like Milky Waves and shit are different. They've got different names for things, but I didn't realize Smarties were that awful in America.
Starting point is 00:06:55 What are you doing? Looking at an image, smarties are the little tablet looking, you know, fizzes and shit. Oh, really? Yeah, it looks like them. That would make sense, they're chalky, so...
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah. Yeah, I do picture those, like, love hearts when I think of, like, chalk. Oh, don't. Canned Man Sand has one for us, relating to the... Going upstairs on all fours. Fuck, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Discussion we had. Nice. Yeah, this was another kind of, not controversial, but let's just see what they say. Wogwon, my dutty little mingas. Not a question, but I have a cautionary tale related to the monkey stair climbing technique mentioned last cast. I was around age 10, and at my auntie's house, fucking about on the stairs as you do, the staircase was quite thin and the handrail wasn't in reach when on all fours. it would be a fucking sick idea to bunny hop up the stairs by placing my hands at shoulder width on the next stair and hopping my feet up between my hands onto the next step while my hands stay planted I got three I got three-fourths of the way up the stairs using this technique until I made my fatal mistake I hop too hard and my feet overshot the step this gave my legs enough momentum to fly over my shoulders resulting in me fucking back flipping down the stairs and landing back first onto a vase on
Starting point is 00:08:22 a table and with James on this one fuck monkey stare technique exactly it just sounds like you're not very good at monkey staring bro that's not monkey staring anyway that's rad also yeah they invented a new way of doing it yeah that's that just sounds like fucking idiot stares all right so meanwhile anyway guys get back to the the clever people's shit where we just run up the cells all fours like like dogs or something bullshit yeah there was there was one more more positive one on that note from brendon r d i must say that the crawling at the stairs question was a generally great talking point that was brought up and the drifting
Starting point is 00:08:54 analogy on rotating stairs was a great comparison. I have a spiral staircase on my home and sometimes had to fight the urge to do it when we had company over when I was younger because my parents would be embarrassed. The question I have is, is there an optimal strategy for maximum speed when going up the stairs? Would maximum velocity be more easily attainable with or without socks? Would shoes
Starting point is 00:09:16 be an advantage or disadvantage? Shoes would weigh down. Yeah, you need to have socks or bare feet it depends honestly on whether it's if it's carpet and you have sock you'll get maximum friction therefore maximum push off and you also need to do like a flick with your like fingers that you push off with each thing of your hands to give yourself a bit of like that's how you do it all right trust we've thought about this no i i reckon barefoot with carpet no matter what man i think socks yeah i think barefoot i think the socks would make it slip more yeah barefoot yeah man you need socks on it's the way it's like it's like
Starting point is 00:09:52 Velcro, you know, it's like, like, and then you, so you have maximum grip and therefore maximum push away. What socks do you wear? Velcro socks. She made a sandpaper. The, the most satisfying way I tend to do it is to try and clear as many stairs with each kind of movement as possible. So you're like going up and just a swift, like, just creepy looking. That's dangerous, though. Have you ever tried to, like, leave?
Starting point is 00:10:20 We're talking about running up. the stairs like a spider monkey, I mean, there's no safety to any at this. Do you know the story of Icarus, my friend? No. If you fly too close to the sun, or if you try to do too many steps with one stride,
Starting point is 00:10:39 you're going to burn. No, that's not true. Any bad people would burn. Do you remember carpet burns? Yes. No horrible. Awful. I remember sliding around them in an airport when I was when we were gonna fly home from Australia and I was really bored because you know how long it can take to wait for the planes already and I
Starting point is 00:11:00 was like sliding around bored out my mind and my uncle's like dude you got to stop doing that you're gonna get a carpet burn and I was like yeah bullshit and then next time I did a little slide big ass carpet burn never done since no wait this is this is triggering a death slide memory getting um oh shit it's not like friction burns on the death slide yeah yeah I think that might actually be one of the reasons I became so obsessed with tucking my clothes in
Starting point is 00:11:31 yes because I didn't have my shirt tucked in got a friction burn on the death slide and from that point I was like I'm never doing that again I just never did it because I was just scared of that like slides man I remember getting a friction burn once and I was like you know fuck slides the shit sucks I remember tearing ass around bow wood
Starting point is 00:11:50 but it was just to say outdoor like it's got a big park and shit okay he's got a big like adventure playground so there was there were three very three sides of varying height and length and then a final slide which is a death side which is just like a vertical drop and then a like a little scoop at the bottom so you could you know do the sliding part and not die whatever um yeah i remember if we get really hot in summer obviously and you know so you go to the park you get on this slide you just burn yourself yeah yeah you couldn't know it's like hot to touch yeah you couldn't slide on those metal slides in that weather couldn't do it unless you want a pure pain yeah let's do some topics so i've got i've got one um just a little nat geo article uh i found interesting if you
Starting point is 00:12:36 guys want to listen to this is it about monkeys um kind of in a way you kind of nailed it in a way The question is, did ancient primates walk alongside T-Rex? New evidence backs up theory. The oldest known primate fossils were dated to just after the extinction event, 66 million years ago, suggesting some primate ancestors lived even longer ago. So they've discovered these, like, cringy little rats that, like, crawled around in the trees, like eating bugs and shit. This is weird.
Starting point is 00:13:10 I was watching videos about this sort of thing last night. Yeah, we seem to have evolved. like directly from rat or things that look into crabs yeah from rat to crab I suppose there are just like base creatures that just seem to be
Starting point is 00:13:27 fine like crocodiles and things of that form like they're just like Mother Nature just nailed it they're just like don't even need to like adapt at all really I'm not too sure about the biped you know I think maybe that was a mistake no imagine
Starting point is 00:13:42 crocodiles with hands like thumb they would be it would be like the Captain King shark whatever the fuck his name is yeah Captain King show everyone where his name is
Starting point is 00:13:53 the shark and fucking suicide squad like that but a killer crock there we go fuck it that'll do it's an ordinary the way they discovered it though
Starting point is 00:14:03 was that scientists just like discovered it in like an old museum drawer that had been there for decades and we should probably just look at some of these weird like teeth that we have in a pile They found new discoveries and shit.
Starting point is 00:14:16 We just know nothing, man. We know nothing about this ancient stuff. It's fascinating to me. Yeah, no, I've been getting, I've been going down the rabbit hole on this sort of subject. There's so many good YouTube channels and videos for just learning. Mm-hmm. I didn't realize this. It's one of the best things to come from, like, YouTube and all that.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, for sure. Like, did you know there was a snake called a type? Paitano boa. I probably butchered that name. It's referenced in Red Dead, isn't it? Is it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Red Dead, too. There's that huge snake you can find like in a tree, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Yeah. But it could get up to 42 feet long. Mm-hmm. And guess what they ate? Like cows or something. Like crocodiles and alligators. They were that big. They could just like... That's kind of sick.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Yeah, bad ass. Why? Did they go extinct? It was too big. Yeah, that was like a problem, wasn't it? It used to be giant insects when the, uh, wasn't it like the oxygen levels were different or something? So they're able to be like heat. So much has changed over time.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Like the, everything from humidity to temperature to sea level. Like this is something I just recently discovered. I mean, not like I was the one that discovered it, but I heard about it. it um like how humans traverse the world way back one and it's because the the continents were all like attached they had pangea yeah yeah but they there was like a bridge connecting i think north america and asia i guess and people just walked across well because the sea levels were like so low oh so it just exposed all this land and humans like grew over the world you know making their settlements they'd
Starting point is 00:16:19 settle down then people would move on and then they were all like cut off when the sea started to rise and then you got people living in different countries it's it's wild to to look back at this shit how going back to like the YouTube um like educational content where do you think the like fact checking part comes in do you have to like just go by channels are trustworthy do you think or that plays a huge part in it i think because like with the freedom that comes with like youtube and you can just upload anything there's obviously a ton of misinformation too it shouldn't be on the like reader you know let's just say that to to like find the sources it should be up to the person that are like published whatever the fuck it is so in the case of like
Starting point is 00:17:04 someone like or chan like kertzka sacked or kerskissk i don't know you say it but you know they make an effort you know because it's like to them, I guess they treat it like a scientific paper. Well, yeah, we've got to have our sources or else it invalidates everything we've just said to you. So what would be the point in doing it? Yeah, it shouldn't be on like you to validate it. And if a channel doesn't provide like their sources, then I don't know, they're doing a shitty job. And someone should say, give us your fucking sources, bro. Do that from now on.
Starting point is 00:17:32 I'd say it's partly on the viewer, though, because it's very easy to end up. You need some critical faculty. Yeah, because it's useful the way I've mentioned it before, like Google. with they started building in these like baked in articles on videos where they're like discussing certain things like flat earth and shit they put in some more kind of factual stuff like they just if you're going to publish something that's meant to be educational you should have your sources so if you're going to publish work that's pretending to be academic or whatever you should definitely you should have your sources there or else it's
Starting point is 00:18:04 like that's a failure on your part and it just diminishes the quality of the work even if it's true science and history stuff like that. Yeah, so it'd just be poor, like anyone who's really informed on that kind of thing probably would, you know, because they probably come from a background which encourages it. So, like, they'd be like, yeah, I'm inclined to. And I suppose the communities do come together and they try and pick them apart, don't they, like, try and pick apart the sources and try, scientists love arguing and bickering over stuff
Starting point is 00:18:32 like that. So, I mean, the only other stuff I have to bring up this week is that just the stuff I've been watching and playing, that being, um, I restarted Octopath Traveler, because it just came out on Game Pass. I've been enjoying playing that again. Because, you know, whenever you start, like, a JRP for the first time, you're, like, pretty shit at it for a while as you, like, figure out what it's going for. So starting it again and playing it and, like, knowing all the tricks
Starting point is 00:18:55 and just, like, zooming through it. It's really fun. It has some weird design stuff, though. Like, the side quests are genuinely so awful in Octopithe. It might be one of the worst, like, side quest systems I've ever experienced in a game. It's so bad. Fun game, though.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Really fun. awful story there oh horrendous story yeah I just skip every single yeah I started it too again I played three minutes skipped everything
Starting point is 00:19:21 because I yeah yeah I skipped every cutscene and I was like this is cringy but I kind of want to know what was happening yeah I think when I played it originally just for like a couple of the characters I watched all of the cutscenes because some of the stories are just so uninteresting but it's kind of modular in that way
Starting point is 00:19:37 you can just do that you could just play the whole game with one of the eight characters if you really wanted this cook so that's the the pro and con i guess of having so many choices and options to go around as much as you want but the only other thing is the wire really which i mentioned earlier but i just wanted to shout it out because it is as good as they say it's so fucking impressive um it's so genius like the i'm on season five's the last season i've only got a few episodes left um but just the way it's structured the way it shows like every uh every asset in society from really empathetic standpoints it has like the the politics it has the like street
Starting point is 00:20:24 level gang shit and then the cop stuff as well and showing all their perspectives and the way they intertwine so it's brilliant um i'd really recommend anyone go back and check that one out i'm trying to go through all the classic HBO shows 6 feet under the Wire, Game of Thrones fucking Sopranos just everything they release tends to be really fucking good if it comes
Starting point is 00:20:49 from HBO so that's what I've been doing Yeah I wish it was just easier to access Well in America they got HBO Max It's got all of them on for his subscription But yeah
Starting point is 00:21:03 It's the one I really fucking want But you got what have you guys been doing I'm gooning. Yeah, can we talk about gooning? Do you want to talk about gooning? We need to talk about gooning. Well, we could talk about gooning as in what we were doing last night. No, we could talk about gooning as in the truth.
Starting point is 00:21:19 You said you were going to explain it. Because I'm out of the voice. Did you guys actually know about gooning before I mentioned it yesterday? No, I didn't know that you would call it. Yeah, I knew that was a thing people did. I just didn't know it was gooning. Yeah. The official definition is...
Starting point is 00:21:38 I just googled it. I don't know if, like, people know about it. Because I've known about it for some time that it's this, this thing, this very specific thing. There's a subreddit dedicated to it with their setups, and it blows my fucking mind. So, do you want me to read the, like, the dictionary definition? I've actually got it. I'm going to copy and paste it, like, here. Okay, do you want to read it then?
Starting point is 00:22:05 Do I have... This is James' area of expertise, I think. Okay, you read it. Well-known slang term in sexual subculture of chronic and compulsive masturbators used both as a verb and a noun means achieving the trance-like blissful state reached when riding the edge of coming
Starting point is 00:22:27 for as long as possible. Perhaps many minutes or even hours at a time. Also denoting the absence of control, compulsively pursuing the feeling as a avid master baiter. The term has been in frequent use for at least 10 years, perhaps emerging from the physical look of one who is gooning or in the goon, which is a self-possessed, glassy-eyed state of stupidity, thus an oath, also known as beta-mush and slain in the bait.
Starting point is 00:22:59 That's what gooning is. Bata-mush. I hate that. I fucking hate that. much. Oh, beta is in master beta. Yeah. Not beta is in B-E-T-A. Alpha-B-A-T-O-R. No, it's Master Beta-Mush. B-A-T-O-R
Starting point is 00:23:16 mush. There's a quote at the end here as well, there I was stroking for hours, and I was into the goon so deep that a bomb could have gone off next door, and I would not have noticed. Gooner. And it says it's been around
Starting point is 00:23:31 for like 10 plus years or something. Yeah, that part, I I've never heard of like this this phrase what it's just describing James is like old meme yeah it wasn't a meme to James well I had you was very reality it was gooning I figured it was exaggerate you weren't actually goon him for three hours no I wasn't no it was just a joke it was just a like look James no Jim I'm not what's the longest you've goon for then yeah go on tell us I haven't like I've never don't know what Yeah, we know you did.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Because you would go off and you'd probably lay it for like an hour, just gooning away. Well, no, because I think it's like, there's, there's like edging and then they're gooning. I don't think... Yeah, what's the difference? What the fuck is the difference? Well, like, go out, well, there's a, there's a subword it called Goon Caves. And that's like kind of what gooning is. Goon caves. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:33 I've sent, I've sent, I've sent, Jim load of picks of it. Just go on wed it and just search it and that's, that's, that's, that's, that's specific. R slash gooners. No, our goon caves. Yeah, all the weird, like, wank stuff. People that, like, make form communities around wanking. Yeah, it's, like, extreme addiction if you, you have to just, like, um, goon.
Starting point is 00:25:01 It's all, like, enabling each other and, like, encouraging it. No, you've only gooned for six hours, or did eight last night? It's, do you think there are some people that, like, they work Monday to Friday, then it gets to Saturday, and they goon all day? Yes. No, I think that, that... Yeah, they probably plan for it. I don't know what at work, they're like, they're thinking to themselves, I can't wait to leave my office job.
Starting point is 00:25:26 These people don't even know that on Saturday I'm going to goon for 10 hours, and I don't even care. I'm coming to work on Monday, having gooned for 12. 12 hours consecutively, not even having slept, just gouged. Wasn't that like one of the Guinness Book records where someone like jerked for the longest time? Yeah, you know those world records where I was just like this guy like comes like 15 times a day or has like semen that's like 60 miles an hour. Like that that is a result of gooning.
Starting point is 00:25:55 That's like the root of it all is goon. So the training for something quite important really. What would it take for you to start gooning? No, I can't. No, like, if you saw that, like, the rock was gooning every day. Oh, yeah, if the rock and Kevin Hart made a gooning movie, everyone would be doing it. Do you reckon Hollywood is enough influence to increase the goon rate?
Starting point is 00:26:23 Yeah. Goon is a loved movie, as I said earlier. Goon is a loved movie? Yeah. Have you never heard of goon? Sean William Scott. It's like a comedy about a hockey player or something. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Goon. And it's got Jay Barrichelle in as well, hiccup himself. Do you reckon he goons? 100%. Well, is that your goon topic done with then? I'm glad I know what gooning is now. He's fucking fascinating. Like, that shit is so fucking fascinating to me.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I don't know why. These, like, subcultures. Yeah, like, pornosexual. Like, fuck, it's incredible It's just, it blows my mind This is weird It's pornosexual It's a pornosexual
Starting point is 00:27:10 Your sexuality is porn Oh Yeah, that's another one Is that like a thing Yes People, it's like It's like when people like Embrace like a porn addiction
Starting point is 00:27:21 And they're just whole life What do they call it pornosexual Yeah, pornosexual But now the The thing we say when we're playing Apex Is we're just the goon squad And we just go Yeah
Starting point is 00:27:32 for the goons squad I want to come into town beep so these people though these gooners what are we calling them
Starting point is 00:27:40 goons goons isn't it just goonies I think a goon can goon goons goons can also
Starting point is 00:27:50 goon if a goon in the world did he truly goon isn't that interesting that a goons
Starting point is 00:27:56 can goon and goon goons but a goons cannot goons also Goon's Goon. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Yeah. Do you think every goon is a gamer? No. Is Sean William Scott a gamer? Probably. John William Scott of Goon fame. The most famous gune. He was the one who invented it.
Starting point is 00:28:22 I don't think you'd have time to goon if you were a gamer. No, but I'm thinking... You can multitask. From like the image you've sent me. They've got like a... setup like yeah goon caves
Starting point is 00:28:35 that's his goon caves he's got a laptop like stood up next to two monitors at like a curved desk
Starting point is 00:28:44 sort of thing and like short so did he just invest his money into gooning is gooning his
Starting point is 00:28:52 hobby that he dumps money into yeah they must it must be like what kind of setups
Starting point is 00:29:00 are we talking like what does it look like no this is obscene no we're this is like 15 monitors like that level of uh
Starting point is 00:29:11 put like it's like send me a picture or put it on Discord or something oh my yeah give me a second I'm going to save this to my computer fuck I almost saved it onto my desktop
Starting point is 00:29:25 yeah like this this this you know oh my god yes this is why This is what I mean. So, obviously, I can't show this. It's too far to show it on YouTube, but to describe it, it's like a guy, he's got like a, is that like a sofa he's like lying on?
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. But he's got his little coffee table with like an iPad, a laptop, a monitor, and then in the background, like a bunch of monitors, each one with a different porno on it. And his legs are like spread. The most ridiculous one, there's a big, white wall in the background then he's got a projector projecting porn onto the wall oh yeah god like this this is this is this is the goon set-ups like this is but that's they're playing like 10 things at
Starting point is 00:30:17 once yeah because it's you're just trying to like goon your mind out of like existence do you think this is actually what um monks do when they go and like isolate yeah monks are goers Yeah, because you're supposed to be celibur, right, if you're a monk, so... Yeah. I suppose if you never actually nut and you just goon. Goon the gay away. That's being like a... Like, it's just a goon lag.
Starting point is 00:30:48 You're sent to the goon lag? Like people make them in Minecraft. Like I sent Jim one that is someone made that in Minecraft. What do you mean? They made a goon setup in Minecraft? Yeah. What, and then put like Minecraft porn on the monitors? No, actual normal porn.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Like, it puts my fucking mind. Like, this is like the most, it's like addiction when they're just like, yeah, I'm just going to be addicted. And then they just go down the slope. Yeah, that is just embracing it, isn't it? Yeah. Just taking it to like the next level. Do you reckon there'll be people when like VR is more popular? Yeah, there'll be like game.
Starting point is 00:31:29 There'll be people that make goons. setups within a VR space. Yeah, so everyone can be like, we can all join hang out. It's like VR chat, but close it's Gooning them. VR chat gooning.
Starting point is 00:31:44 It's probably a wettier thing. Let me, let me, let me just VR gooning. Man. Like, I just, I'm not saying the jar fans that you should goon. That you should goot.
Starting point is 00:31:58 We've talked about porn addiction here before just just go on goon our goon caves and yeah that's that's the name of them and try to because it's like man cave but taking it again to the next level just just look at it and try to argue that porn addiction isn't bad that being said do try gooning at least once yeah you got to try it yeah they're knock it to try it everyone can uh try it after these messages evening or night. This is the part of the show where we go over to the Patreon's over
Starting point is 00:32:36 Patreon and we give our thanks and it must be said this is the last week of March going forward this will be done on a monthly basis and not weekly. This has been said before but just want to give you a heads up so big thank yous to
Starting point is 00:32:54 Zypheer at the bus stop suck sucking cock Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Big Joe, Danny Green Art on Instagram. Bean juice should come in a squirty bottle. Jamie, just grow your arse hair out, then cut it and glue it to your head. Ike Benjam.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Tonyos Weld. James, next time you invite me over for spin time, make sure your bum is clean. Jim is bubbling Ruben's cock, and despite initial existence, resistance. James. Come on, read it again. Come on. I'm losing the will, Ruben.
Starting point is 00:33:36 You've read like six. Wait, sorry to interrupt you, James, but... Are the JAR fans, like, do they hold a bunch of, like, repressed, like, gay feelings or something? They're, like, obsessed with, like, gay shit with us doing it. Sorry, James, continue. Jim is robbing Ruben's cock, and despite initial resistance, Ruben is getting weird. Ruben is getting really hard. And I can't deny that you're actually, really.
Starting point is 00:34:03 It's pronounced C-Dur James. Oh my god, so true bestie, I love Maltese's oo-woo. Mom. Squadron leaders are requested, requesting a rally point. Where should I send them? Mo-mo. Clunge Bob spunk trunks. U-A-ya-U-A. What have we kissed inside the 3.8 litre, 6-cylinder-2002 Buick LeSaber?
Starting point is 00:34:27 A random dibby jarling. Around these parts I'm known as Longcock Leonard. My dick is very long, hence the name. Crash Punk, Ruben is the Jay-Z to Jim's Kanye changed my mind. Schnaught, minga-dinger, etc., etc. Minecraft Slavery Mod. Fancy Nancy, don't put your blame on Paul, don't put your blame on Barry, the Chuckle Brothers.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Little Duckie, Big Chungus. Oh my goodness, this candy is so sour. Hi, I'm James, I'm too lazy to read the whole page your name. Mort of the Ballwheel Valley. Guttaguchi has hot sex with Logan Stevens. Salad 399, 539, James bonds with the razorhead baby of a mutual love of imported car parts. Don't check out Nate's mini-fix on Instagram, check out D's nuts. Adam McBride, Krusty Kamakaze.
Starting point is 00:35:23 If James is pisser dick, who is shitter-ass, Miggers in Tomato Town I showed my wife John and she refuses to sleep with me unless I bar when I orgasm Give us a bar James Harriet Broadly I really love to chug-jug with James
Starting point is 00:35:40 Big Cheezer Servals are kind of cool Detroit become too human My tongue is fat My tongue wrench wrench Where is the wrench Oh, there it is. Hey, uh-oh, I'm stuck.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Hey, uh, hey, my tongue is fat, Annie. Oong, Ong, O, O, O, O, O, I, aye, aye, aye, aye. Guys, my friend recommended Big Mouth to me. What do I say? The doepster, aka KSI LGBTQ plus. I'm getting a detailed backpiece tattoo of the guy getting a detailed backpiece tattoo of Agi, and you can't stop me. Piggy Wood Hogmar, Out of the Damn Way, aka Review Tech Blackwater. Why is your heavy attack? It's slower, but it does more damage.
Starting point is 00:36:30 The Bush Bush. KSI, please stop wearing my mother's wedding dress. Imported guest. Oh yeah, mate, it's me, KSI. Not going to stop wearing that wedding dress. The fabric is so silky, brother. Tom Bereneck. Gilbert the awesome one.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Catheter bag, Capri, son. Question for James. Where does the brown M&M? rank on the milf scale is that what m&m stands for milf and milf nate's mini figs check my on instagram javas upload enough review text into my brain to put me to sleep for the next month cortana wait me when jar needs me but with tennis balls 011 iE2 mr cheesy watsits that crunch on its head 1,000 okay i'll ask you one more time who was in paris check out d's fat nut
Starting point is 00:37:22 on Instagram aka Wanker Cock. Big Mouth Episode 3, Revenge of the Dush. Cobalt Rird. Winner winner chicken minger. Gwerty come. Drain my cock Johnson. Chaser the dragon. My ancestors are smiling at me, review tech Tamriel. Can you say the same? Argi underscore Bebo check him out on Instagram. Also only fans. Blade Runner 27. Ships slurpum. Comment barrel is the greatest name you mingers could come up with. up with anything else will be shite randy ruins joseph jewish jarling yes that's very good james fondle his balls a little that's good i'm not finishing that one what's i said earlier yeah yeah they are aren't they they're very they're very gay they just like that
Starting point is 00:38:15 i'm okay with it yeah fuck it they want to express themselves get the gay out somewhere this is a safe supposed to get the gale yeah be gay as you want thing feng fang fong feng a fong a fong a fang jack tom fudging armstrong welcome to the islamic communist revolution the christian capitalist status quo has gone on too long i thought that one's you know it's not using like some of those buzzwords and shit about like yeah it's on the preter that one before yeah it just teeters but i think it's just about okay hi honey i'm home from the future cosmic mapping piss drinkers unleashed i'm going to get a detailed backpiece tattoo of Argy and you can't stop me. Aaron Kavanaugh, aka, keep the Patreon names weekly and abolish the monarchy.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Tonido. Oh, a piece of candy. He noble-noble. Michael Mayn 2000. Stephen is human. Conna Tada. Butter me up some porn on the cob. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Harbor.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Greetings, Corncast viewers. Make sure you're using the provider jar 4DX pocketpussies to get the full experience. Katia fucking Rannigan and... Wait, where's David Wallace? Did he unsubscribe from us? This is breaking my heart, David, please. Kattya fucking mannigan, and wait, where's Nate's mini-fix?
Starting point is 00:39:26 Did he unsubscribe from us? This is breaking my heart, David, please. Among us for me is quickly becoming like minions. Insufferable. Thomas Martin. They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack. Everybody shout heavy metals back. Death to orbit metal.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Insert air guitar. Boahog Police Department supports gamers. Quebec Films. Chris Warren. sinkman will come for you when you least expect him watch out ora mercedes cool dip chip pitch got a beanus numa banana ben fartbag george kenwood parker geese fiddle aka the cream dream awful twenty one forty two how about we go down to the border and get our dick sucked through a cage rut row raggy ramy is going reist of roy fion o'gorman meld mel
Starting point is 00:40:18 Melvin, brother of the Joker, Omcat. Ro, Horsborough. Ferdia Plyman. Sam Buckley, aka Review Tech Swindon, aka paid $20 laugh at my name. Please forgive my Freudian pussy lips. Brough, Sam.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Mordecaiser Mains rise up. Adam Johnston. Tomboise. Juan Hernandez. Jam. SpongeBob Square pant. Honey, I'm hurt. I swear I'm not.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Logie Bear. Born to piss, forced to drink. Sneeze a nose. Big whoops. Grembleau. He's coming too. Roger that. That gaming gang.
Starting point is 00:41:18 He games when nobody else be looking. He game when the gamers least deserve the game in, but you do it anyway. Big cheese, Couta Panda, 1100101, E. Lucy Ties an Asian anal queen. Randy ruins Patreon. The Poo Man. I bet Shane Dawson's husband is regretting it. Katty a fucking manningin.
Starting point is 00:41:38 And last but not least, David Wallace. Thanks for the support, everyone. Welcome to the second half of the corn where we answer questions from the Corncast community, head over to the JAR Media subreddit with a suggestion thread, but you can ask us, whatever the hell you like. Ayamu Paya, sorry, says, I'm sure you have said this before, but have your parents ever listened to the JARCast, and do they even understand what JAR Media actually is? If you have answered this question, has their opinion or knowledge changed?
Starting point is 00:42:10 Eddie, I've just listened to a JARCast episode where you mentioned having eight-year-old and teens as relatives, so any of them fans of Jal Media too. I don't think my parents have ever listened to an episode I usually say not to bother because it's like it's just a thing where it's like demographics certain things are made for certain people you know like we don't make this
Starting point is 00:42:29 for like a 45 year old you know The commute to work Yeah well maybe maybe we're discriminating because I'm sure there probably is we get that sometimes with like
Starting point is 00:42:41 I'm like the 70 year old jar fan Yeah like just statistically they have to be out there just the breadth of like where all the traffic comes from around the world but yeah I don't know
Starting point is 00:42:56 I know I know my mum has watched at least half of one episode yeah she likes like the the intros and stuff of like cute dogs and them and shit you know stuff you'd expect
Starting point is 00:43:11 you guys have anything I I've never told my family about it like they know of jar but i've never told them about what i talk about or anything because i just don't want them to have interest or to even be like oh like i'm keeping jars distant as possible to them you're just embarrassed of us aren't you yes the only one that i know is that my dad once went on one and he was just like i didn't understand it and i found it annoying yeah that's exactly right so he just stopped
Starting point is 00:43:47 which is pretty funny but everyone else I've ever talked to about it has always been like oh check one out and then like always asked me about it like just unprompted they've asked me oh yeah this oh look at one I've not asked them to look at one I'll look at one and I never hear about it again so if they've looked at it they've obviously thought this is dog shit
Starting point is 00:44:07 and they don't want to tell me or they just don't look at it and it's like podcasts already kind of well Joe Rogan's kind of changed it but You know, podcasts are podcasts and like recommending a podcast about nothing. Like, it's so fucking niche. The podcast is a bit of a meme because it's like, what do a group of white men do? They start, what do you call a group of white men? You call them a podcast.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah, that's a long-going meme now. It's really boring. It's fucking all over Reddit constantly. Our podcast just has that eye roll, doesn't it? It just has it. It has an eye roll to it, unfortunately. The Devalan has one. What fictional character would you add to the Jarre roster and why would it be
Starting point is 00:44:46 clap track from borderlands I love clap track Argi Is clap track That's something like a mistake right It's Claptrap I wasn't sure if like three introduced like a new one or something It's just Argy
Starting point is 00:45:03 Why are we talking about Argy He's already on the roster though man Yeah but no clap trap trap is Argy So clap track can't be added Alex do you want to tell us what Argy did recently What what which thing which one oh you know what the one he did yesterday
Starting point is 00:45:20 yep um I had like leftover domino's pizza on my kitchen counter and how much left over how much you're talking
Starting point is 00:45:32 um an entire pizza a whole pizza was up on the kitchen counter and he's a medium um toppings it was a cheeseburger
Starting point is 00:45:44 they still exist Are they back? Are they back? Oh my word Carry on I'm going down a rabbit hole Yeah I was I was upstairs with Paisley watching the wire And I did hear a bang
Starting point is 00:46:01 But I had headphones in and like took a headphone out And continued to listen and couldn't hear anything And put it back in And then it was like an hour later I feel like a camera mile So I went downstairs to make a tea Like turn the kettle on and turn around and saw that the pizza boxes were all over the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:46:18 And I just like was so fucking confused because he's tiny. He's like a foot tall on a kitchen counter. He somehow managed to get the pizza box down. And it was not with the help of Pacey because she was with, she was by my side the entire time he was down there. And he ate the entire fucking pizza. He ate an entire medium pizza. And his, uh, his poos have been orange today.
Starting point is 00:46:41 But the grossest part, the grossest part, the grossest, part. When I let the dogs out to go to shits and piss or whatever Uggy of course released his pizza shit and then they both act very suspicious and like they kind of plant their butts really close
Starting point is 00:46:58 to the steaming piles of dominoes cheeseburger dog shit and they keep like sniffing near it clearly with a plan in mind to go back for seconds like a fucking rabbit but I scooped it up and got rid of it before that could happen. so small
Starting point is 00:47:14 get... How does he outsmart you? Every time. Yeah. Yeah, every time. It's a loony tune saying. It's like the wily coyote. He just fucking gets you.
Starting point is 00:47:24 This is one where I'm actually stunned. And I actually cannot figure out what he did. The only thing I can think of is that maybe like the edge of the pizza box was like off the counter. So he like somehow jumped up and grabbed it and pulled it down or something. Did you scream at him? I was so pissed at him. God, I was angry. Because that was like my dinner, too.
Starting point is 00:47:45 So I had no dinner. And a very swollen dog. Yeah, because he got the, like, the wedges down, too. So it wasn't just the sand. It was the sand women and children, too, or whatever. Yeah. Oscar Man 97 has one for us. Hello again, Jha.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I've been itching to ask this question. for a while now, and I've only now gotten the chance. I recall you saying on a very early jarcast that you hated the works of the weekend outside of his collaborations with Duff Punk, and for the longest time, I felt the same. Some of you may have noticed recently he's had a complete image makeover, taking on a much more retro style mixed with some dark themes. His new music feels very different, too. I suspect this is due to Duff Punk helping him break out and to pop more and influencing
Starting point is 00:48:38 his more cinematic elements. I was wondering if your opinions on him have changed at all. I personally can definitely call myself more of a fan now, Cheers. Yeah, I like him more. I like what he does more now than what he was doing, like, pre-Star Boy. Like, Starboy was, like, the big word started to change. But before that, I didn't really care for much of what he had to do. I've never listened to a weekend album.
Starting point is 00:49:02 All he is in my mind is just Starboy. But then he showed up in Uncut Gems and said, well, what are you doing in this movie? It's very random. I listen to a bit of after hours. I don't know if I listen to the whole thing there or not. I can't remember. So I don't, I just, but it's just, you know, the singles and shit.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I like more of what he seems to be about now than before. Like, I'm more inclined to listen to a weekend project now than I was in like 2015 when Beauty Behind the Madness came out, for example, and he had a stupid haircut. Yeah, I don't know. I might give it a listen now if this is what people are saying. Yeah, I've never been interested, though. any of his stuff and yeah I've never really wanted to
Starting point is 00:49:45 well Kim Jong Milhouse has a question as he lives in Swindon have you ever run into Sagan of Akad interestingly I watched a biographic thing on Sargon of Akad the actual Sargon of Akad from oh yeah yeah and it's like imagine you want to make political
Starting point is 00:50:07 video so you name yourself after like the first empire like empire like ever I don't want to run into him to be honest of all the people I want to meet in Swindon I don't want to meet Carlos Swindon because his name's not Sagan of a cad it's Carlos Swindon yeah I've never seen him I don't want to see him like riding his bike around or something but I wouldn't even know if I had like I don't know what the guy looks like you because I'd be screaming it at you it's fucking Carl
Starting point is 00:50:37 from Svindon sassy Sonia HD has one Hello, lads, I hope you all enjoying the lovely springtime weather we've been blessed with of late. Now, seeing as you all, particularly Alex, have expressed a lot of love for poo over the years, I'd like to present you with a little would-you-rather question. Would you rather have explosive slash projectile vomiting diarrhea for a week, or indestructible rock-hard constipation for a month? So you're saying projectile shit and projectile vomit at the same time, or wok solid shit.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Yeah, they just said explosive slash projectile vomiting diarrhea. No, I'd simply choose constipation because I don't want to be sick. I'd choose constipation because I feel like I could do more to like stop that in this world where I'm given something that could last a month. See, my answer is the complete opposite. I'm much more comfortable with this, with it coming out my body than keeping it in for a month. Yeah, can't be straight up now. Because you would just die, so it's a pretty stupid hypothetical, I'm afraid,
Starting point is 00:51:41 because you just have all this, you just have to go and get it surgically removed. It would be considered like an impacted shit, and you'd have to go and get it removed from your body. That's not true. That's not true. It's true. If shit gets stuck in you, they have to remove it surgically. Someone in my family, he takes a shit a month. No way.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Because he fucking shattered his entire, like, lower body. when he was a baby the NHS filled him with so much drugs and then he just can't shit anymore and the NHS have said oh yes I thought What So how does that work
Starting point is 00:52:21 I've never heard this How does that work? I don't understand How does he release It does it once a month And it's a fuck It's take a big You know the big bottles of Pepsi That's the size of the shit
Starting point is 00:52:34 No way I told you this before you have to I can't shit that big no Jim it's a South Park joke I don't believe
Starting point is 00:52:44 it's real I've seen these shit I've seen it my dad what do you mean what did he take a picture of it no because it happened and my dad was like
Starting point is 00:52:53 James James come see this I came downstairs opened the fucking path and door and it's just like beachless because the shit is that fucking big
Starting point is 00:53:02 like you know the fucking shit was so big it was Are you fucking serious right now? Are you being serious? It was, the shit was sticking out so far.
Starting point is 00:53:12 It was the same height as the fucking toilet lid itself. My dad got a fucking spoon from the fucking kitchen had to beat it like a wooden spoon and beat it like to mush it up to flush it. I don't know how many times
Starting point is 00:53:25 I try to flush it would not move because it like curled in the toilet and it was already like, bro, I've, I, bro, my gut is just telling me to
Starting point is 00:53:36 deny it but I believe it yeah I do it's fucking real did you keep the wooden spoon I wish you'd taking a picture you know horse dildos all the way up in them so I guess there's no reason why you couldn't take a Pepsi ball shit no Alex I it was that fucking disgusting that I just couldn't bring myself to it well I understand why you didn't you know because like a selfish thing no because it's not a good thing because he's like five he's a young boy oh shit it yeah like i didn't realize he's fucked him up mentally because he's so paranoid of shitting like he he can only do it once a month and it's like it's
Starting point is 00:54:15 like a really fucking big deal but okay i just assumed you were talking about your dad this all time yeah that's what i thought too yeah i didn't realize he's a little kid you're not a natural one storyteller are you no why would his dad go and get him and be like look at this i don't know i just think he found funny to me that seems way more obvious i like it's like in fucking South Park and it's like trying to take the biggest you in the world, you know?
Starting point is 00:54:40 And that is like a cringy man thing, where it's like, yeah, that makes more sense to me. It's so big. Like someone has to see this. Yeah, but this, I've done fucking logs. This is a new fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:54:52 It blew my mind. And I've never been the same since I've seen a fucking log that big. Jesus, poor kid. But a fucking flush does not do anything. It doesn't touch it. It's like a boat stuck in the swarer. canal. Yeah, it just, it's not going.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Damn. Yeah, like, no, the smell as well. Like, we're talking about a month's worth of shit crammed in your body. Like, the smell that makes is, it changes a man. Jesus. I thought I talked about this before, anyway. No, you had told me about it, but not, like, beat by beat like that. Josh Road 9 has one for us.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Say there was a Lego jar game. What would each of your death song? sounds be. That's Ruben's one. Yeah. I'd go, bah. And James would go. Bha.
Starting point is 00:55:46 BAM's Lord 3 has one. What is your opinion of pissing in the bathroom sink? It is easier as it is just the right height. No need to aim and it's good for the environment as you don't waste water flushing. I'm not a degenerate and only pissing the sink in my house. Pissing in the sink is easy. I like, I've done it. before, like the kitchen sink in the kitchen
Starting point is 00:56:07 just, it's the way height, just, but it's easier to piss outside. A tactical sink piss can be quite nice. I think you're a fucking cretan if you piss in the sink. I haven't done it in years, mind. I do it from time to time now.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Who's the people who piss outside of the toilet the most? If you've got like a morning wood and like, you know, sometimes it's more convenient than to sit down. on the toilet. James, do you have a problem of like peeing in the shower?
Starting point is 00:56:40 No, it's like if I need the toilet and I kind of, there's like a shower, like in the next few hours, I'll just go to have a shower then just to piss. Like it's killing two birds with one stone, you know? So you just piss. You'll have a shower just see you can piss. Yeah. You piss in the bath? I like piss in the shower. That is where the morning piss happens actually is in the shower.
Starting point is 00:57:04 is in the shower. Yeah, that makes sense. Every day, yeah, every single day without fail, I will piss in the shower in the morning. There you go. It's nice. It's the best way to piss. Yeah, shower's fine. Sink is wrong.
Starting point is 00:57:18 It's not. It is. No, it's fucking foul. It's not. It's Bob Barrick. I would say it only is if you didn't run the sink and you never cleaned your your sink.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Yeah, if you've got two base stains all over it and your cocks all over. I don't know about you guys, but when I piss, it fires out like an anti-aircraft. No, no. Just like a move. If you haven't touched your cock yet and you slap it onto your sink, you might just shoot in 15 directions, and that's just not going in the seat. No, because you run the tap and you make sure it's nice and pointed down, you know. No, the idea of there being a possibility that it would spray
Starting point is 00:58:09 even a couple of molecules just spraying up and like onto the tap itself or the handles or whatever it's just nasty like that's the place where you clean your hands don't shit where you eat don't shit where you clean You're washing your hands in the running water that's not like touching your hands all over It's just an association thing. It's gross.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Like what? You rest your balls on the sink. Well, that's only if you're really feeling it, you know? Let's do a couple more. June pedigree has a question which, I don't know. I think a lot of people struggle with. What do you think classify as someone as a gamer? I have a friend who I regularly play video games with on almost a daily basis,
Starting point is 00:59:01 yet he refuses to be classified as a gamer. His reasoning for this is that he doesn't identify as a gamer and doesn't like the culture that surrounds being a gamer despite the fact he plays video games. Do you think there needs to be like a certain threshold of games played or time spent playing games to make someone a gamer? Or is it just a case of whoever identifies themselves as a gamer?
Starting point is 00:59:20 I know James has said he isn't a gamer in the past so any response would be appreciated. Well, it depends. Because it's just like, it depends how much, you, it, it, it, how much you're passionate? So you think it is, you think it is like time-based? To an extent, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, repeat the question.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Clarify the question, I'm sorry, I was, I was, I was, what is a gamer? What is a gamer? What classifies a gamer? What classifies someone as a gamer? Because if you, like, the Google definition is just a person who plays video games or participates in role-playing games. Yeah, that's the thing like everyone participates in her now. But not everyone is like, like, you know, but not everyone is like, like, a gamer and because it depends on who's saying it and depends on whether you're trying to offend or not I think so yeah when it's like fucking gamers you know it's referring to like I don't know just like
Starting point is 01:00:15 15 year olds yeah yeah they're like it's like meant to it's meant to be like oh they're just fucking derogynist and racist or something I think that's why people don't like identifying as gamers is because they have such a rep now for just being cringe um you know there's like early gamer shit they have so much to prove with all those memes and stuff and i'm a game you look like just enough xp there is a bunch of like really cringy shit that comes out of like game culture but i don't know it gives a shit about like i agree if you're a gamer or not like fuck we're so fucking obsessive like labeling everything and putting everything into like categories constantly play games or you don't man why do you think game
Starting point is 01:01:01 gamers got their own label. Because not like musicers or filmers. TVers. TVers. That's what I hate about the word YouTuber too. Not all YouTubers are created equal. Not all gamers are created equal. Oh man.
Starting point is 01:01:21 We're really getting to the root of some shit here. Yeah. As per. Would you say this guy, this guy plays on a daily basis is a game? It depends. What he does is if his spare time. Let's just say that we go and buy the... That is spare time. The default non-derogatory definition.
Starting point is 01:01:41 It's just someone who plays games. Well, yeah. And likes video games. I think that's the best way to go from it to me. It's the most equal ground. Look, being a gamer, it's open to everybody these days. So the gamer is just someone that plays games. So when it comes...
Starting point is 01:01:55 I think everyone knows who is being addressed contextually as a thing. You're fucking gamer. You know, you know that. like if you're just someone that plays like mobile games or whatever you're not the person being addressed in that scenario you're fine i think it must be like a language thing like the word has no real use anymore because like so many people play video games like gamer like fucking means nothing it's like yeah everyone watches like movies and shit it's like and listens to music and stuff i mean you don't call them music musicers and shit like that so Samana Boney has one. Whatever happened to Auger 8? What is Auger 8? I can't remember.
Starting point is 01:02:38 James. Oh, Auger 8. Oh, was it your Discord name or something? Yeah. Yeah, what happened to Auger 8? I don't know what happened to Auger 8. That was James' gooning persona. But the second part of the question is, is Ori a dibby?
Starting point is 01:02:56 Yes. The Ori and the Blind Forest main creature. I don't know It kind of is a dibby I think that it's not a dibby Because there's more too ORI than just the dibby quality I would say actually that
Starting point is 01:03:10 I'm trying to think It's been a while since I've played They just have lots of cute characters in it though The little owl in the second one is a dibby That's a dibby Because it doesn't really offer very much Because Auri Ory does quite a lot
Starting point is 01:03:24 Ory does a lot of work I've got more respect for Ory further than just it being a dibby you know or he carries a lot of shit like the respect like um there are dbys that are important in their own universes but i don't know it designed to be like cute and marketable is often my main criteria and it does kind of meet those two things i don't think it's does a dibby not have to be something that's like a sort of side thing Yeah, that's what I think it is. Like it's only...
Starting point is 01:03:58 No, it's like Wally's a dibby. What is? Wally. Fuck, that's a good point. That's a good point. He's the main character. See a dibby? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Yeah, definitely. I'm looking at my Lego. Cute, marketable, big fat eyes, little cartoon creature that makes... It literally goes... Yeah, it's... Yeah, it's... Sound plays a big part.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Yeah, and Orie goes... Dibbibbish noise. No, it's... doesn't have a dibby noise. It's too sparkly. It feels like a fairy thing, a little dibby. Yeah, I just listen to the Wally noise. Wally's definitely a dibby, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:35 I just listen to it in the track, Wally. Mm-hmm. Dibby. Even its theme is like that. Wimcical and like curious, inquisitive, zany, wanky. It is the animation companies that are responsible for the dibby, I reckon, more than any
Starting point is 01:04:55 Oh without doubt. Is R2G to a dibby? Yes. Um... Kind of. He doesn't have the like obnoxious cute factor a lot of diby's do. He's just like a... he's like a rubbish bin. He's not cute really.
Starting point is 01:05:15 He is cute. Although he does have the cute noises though. Yeah. No, he has a dibby. Because he's also a, um, mcuffin thing too. Yeah. I don't think Orias a dibby though Orias too cool Got like swords or something
Starting point is 01:05:31 Swords What about that little ball of light that flies around it That's quite dibbish It's not cute though It's got like a cute voice Yeah but it doesn't It doesn't have big eyes of nothing It's just light
Starting point is 01:05:44 Right Dank Jarsolz has this I heard you talking about wanting to visit Dreamland in Margate I know it was probably in jest because it's notoriously bad but still. Now I'm not going to read the rest of this because they clearly misheard us. We didn't say the dream land in Margate. We were saying the dream lounge in Swindon, much preferable. I'm confused. What's this other place?
Starting point is 01:06:08 What the fuck is this? I assume the dream land in Margate is something this person knows and they just misheard us saying dream lounge in one of the episodes and wrote in about it asking like, why would you want to go to the dreamland in Margate? Now we want to go to the Dream Lounge in Swendon. Hmm. Yes, that's what I was trying to clarify. Let's end on this one from Blue Lamp 77. Alex talked a bit about his fucked-up nose last episode and how it's difficult for him to breathe through his nose sometimes.
Starting point is 01:06:39 I'd like to know more about this. Is it completely random when it gets worse? Do you get worse colds? Also, do the other jar members have any similar strange health defects, e.g., I think James says something about how his ears hurt when he eats ice cream. For me, whenever I get a cold, I partially lose here. in my right ear and sound gets distorted. Everything sounds like it's coming through a phone call. We talk about what's wrong with us? Because there's a lot. Like weird ailments, you know.
Starting point is 01:07:04 It's not, you know, anything too ridiculously person or anything. I've got a broken eye. I've got a broken, fucked up jaw. James's eye one is fucked because of the cat inclusion. Yeah. Being attacked by a cat, having a lazy Owen Osborne. Uh, my ears are fucked. How are your ears fucked?
Starting point is 01:07:30 I just, my hearing, I'm just fucking deaf. Like, my hearing's terrible and I grew up having to go to Dr. Constantly because I just had really bad ear pain. My jaw is messed up. So if I chew too long, the bones will grind together. If I eat, it will start giving me an earwake because the grinding just causes issues in my ear. So I can feel like the muscle. in my face, in my ear
Starting point is 01:07:56 and it makes not, it's just weird. Um, I don't know what else. Yeah, my my nose thing. That will only get worse as you get older. Yeah, yeah, it does get worse. That's fine. Unless you get surgery and like laser it or some
Starting point is 01:08:14 crazy shit. Yeah, I'm just straight up just going to have to get surgery, um, which either means waiting for three years through NHS or paying. It's plastic surgery, isn't it? That's what they do. Aceptor. Plasty, it's called. Yes. Yeah, because the rhinoplasti is like a nose job and the septos, like the inside bit.
Starting point is 01:08:32 I've watched like surgery videos on what they do, like, in preparation for when I never to be able to go through with it. It is kind of cool. It is actually kind of cool. So they just like fix the middle of your nose so it's not like completely off kilter and fuck that. You wake up breathing for the first time. Yeah. On a grateful universe. Like I had a fucked up thing happened today where like it just felt like some of my cartilage was like ripping off on one of the sides. I don't even know what that feels like.
Starting point is 01:08:55 I can't imagine this is just such a like, I have no idea what that feels like. Just imagine that your nose is always uncomfortable, like genuinely at all times. Yeah, I mean, my nose is like always like stuffy lately, but I bought some. Yeah, yeah, it's similar to that. Oh, it's getting better again. Yeah, like the reaction to hay fever and stuff is a bit like that kind of inflammation. Yeah, yeah. Well, if you get no surgery and you, after the surgery, you talk like Squidward.
Starting point is 01:09:24 No, I actually was thinking about it, like, if it changed my voice completely. Yeah. How funny that would be. You know, do you know, some of the weird things I have, I don't even know if it's an issue, but like, every so often, the inside of my nose will get inflamed. And I have to tear the skin off on the inside of my nose. It's just... It's... No, otherwise, it's like, it just gets infected, and it becomes really bulgy.
Starting point is 01:09:51 So I just have to take the skin off. That's horrible. It's fucked up, dude. Put some nivier on it, or anything. And I've got asymmetrical ears. That's such a neat character trait, I guess. I mean, no one's face is symmetrical. Yeah, but one of my ears is, like, deflated.
Starting point is 01:10:12 It's been crushed, so it's collapsed, basically. So you mean, like, separate to, like, you're just facial development when you were a child, baby, whatever. You mean, like, something else happened in your... life which meant your one ear is crushed. Yeah, I think it was just from birth. I think my ear just got fuck so birth. And it's like, it's just... You got cauliflower eater from being squeezed up.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Fuck, that's it. It's just like, you can really feel the cartilage. Like, there's no, like, softness. It's all just really fucking mussely and veining. It's gross. It's, I have fucking weird ears and I hate it. Yeah, there's... I like your ears.
Starting point is 01:10:51 Thank you, Jamie. Yeah, nothing wrong with your ears, bro. Yeah, I remember having like an MRI when I was like 12 Um Cause, and I think this all does loop back to the like nose nasal thing Because I just constantly had headaches all the time like pounding headaches Brain not getting enough oxygen Yeah
Starting point is 01:11:09 Just couldn't figure out what it was and like the doctors were doing like everything And I remember having like an MRI to see if it was like something Yeah, they found nothing from it But Did you go in one of the Imagine how much that MRI would have cost in like America oh my god did you know one of those tubes
Starting point is 01:11:28 though yeah where you like can't move and they're like instruct them yeah no it was a full MRI and I'd like take all my like metal stuff off me yeah I had one and I had a head concussion as well it's fucking weird yeah yeah anything to do with like brains and shit
Starting point is 01:11:44 and it's good for that I should probably have another let's see what's wrong with my brain Reuben what's your mailman um just gonna have a little think, hold on. I'd say Hayfiel is quite an ailment. If he was really irritating, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:02 Just thinking, I'm just, I'm just looking at my body now. I'm flat-footed. That's kind of annoying. I can't really, like, run as easy. Like, I can run, but I, like, my body feels it a lot harder because of the flat feet. What does actually mean to be flat-footed? Like, there's not a... The sole your foot doesn't have an arch, and that can have a knock-on-in-booked on your knees
Starting point is 01:12:24 hips. However, I've been walking for like more than half of my life now, actively holding my legs out in the correct place and my feet, or my feet out in the correct position. Which has meant that my legs are just really weirdly, like, strong
Starting point is 01:12:40 from constipending, like all of my time walking and standing with them, like, tensed to some extent. But it can also mean that your Achilles is shortened and therefore more prone to tearing. Or not to shorten, but it's like, because of what you're doing, you know, your Achilles is constantly being, like, strained or some shit.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Right. Which is, you know, so I'm always aware of. Every now and then it will feel like the inside part of my foot is going to tear in half. Like, it really feels like it's splitting. Jesus. It's fucking, that's not very comfortable. You know it's not because, you know, you know, your skin isn't going to pull apart and all the tendons of your feet are going to pull apart.
Starting point is 01:13:16 But it just doesn't feel very nice for, like, a minute or so. Well, less than a minute. And then it'll go away and whatever. It's fine. But that's usually. but you learn to not make that you learn to avoid making that happen just over time
Starting point is 01:13:29 but yeah that's very flat-footed hay fever did you have any brut my nipples get dry sometimes your dry nipples because of the and the shirts the shirts would always
Starting point is 01:13:44 your shirt were for something I forgot about that yeah I really friction used to complain about your cold nipples all the time yeah because Because now I have to, when it's cold, I've got to just moisturise the fuck out of my nips. Have you ever tried, like, getting some runners tape or whatever?
Starting point is 01:14:06 No. Because there's a gag in the American office, Ed Helms. Where he gets the bleeding nips. Yeah. Yeah, I've peeled a lot of skin off my nips. I feel like you were just looking at them. The break in that December, I felt like it was you looking at your nipples. I were feeling.
Starting point is 01:14:23 I was actually I've rested my head back and closed my eyes and I was imagining the times I ate all I was saving all my nipple skin putting it in a cup so I could have a little feast
Starting point is 01:14:37 Oh Jesus fucking Christ On that note That's a corncast 35 Man I'm tired guys I had like three hours sleep last night Um bro I had five Run off fumes now
Starting point is 01:14:51 Yeah Any final words for this here cast? Like, comment, subscribe and goon. Yeah, check out, goon. Show us your goon. Show us your goon. You will be banned. I will ban anyone who posts gooning shit on the job media subreddit.
Starting point is 01:15:12 I'm going to send it to you. Every time you tweet on Man Man, I'm just going to reply with goon. Jim, say something funny to end it, will you? I've got nothing. I'm really sorry. All right. See everyone.

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