JAR Media Posdact - GOON - Corncast 35
Episode Date: March 29, 2021https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 ...Intro 03:16 Comment Crucible 12:29 Small Primate Ancestors 18:33 Octowire 21:05 Goon 32:29 Mid Break & Patron Names 41:44 Reddit Questions 44:41 What fictional character would you add to the jar roster (argy pizza story) 48:09 Thoughts on the Weeknd 49:45 Sagon of Swidders 50:39 Disgusting Would You Rather 55:29 Lego Game Death Sound 55:47 Pee in sink 58:47 What classifies a gamer? 1:02:31 What happened to Orga8? (And Ori Dibby) 1:05:44 Dreamland in Margate 1:06:30 Our Ailments PO Box: IHE PO Box 4268 CALNE SN11 7AY
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gents.
Welcome to Corncast 35.
I'm your host Alex, joined as always by the goon himself.
James.
What did you just say?
I called you a game.
Why did you call me that?
I don't know.
Why are you aiming that at me?
You know, that movie with the guy from America.
American pie? Goon? No, no, that's, no. I'm James. The pisser dictator himself, Jim.
The pisser dictator?
Mm-hmm. Okay. That's fucking bullshit.
Fuck off Gein. Oh, you're not getting all upset about the names and they're like...
Oh, yeah. They're weight. Okay, okay, let me reintroduce you.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's done. James, he's been labelled.
No, he's not. No, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do a group vote.
Let's do a group vote.
Let's do a group vote. It's James the Goon.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Why do you have such a problem with this goon concept?
What?
I don't.
It's the new jar meme.
Is it?
Well, you've just made it a meme by describing it that way.
And now everyone's going to.
If you just embraced it, no one would have cared.
We'll get into goons in the episode.
Okay.
And last but not least, are you ready?
For a teddy.
You like that one, I could tell
Yeah
Before we get too deep into the episode
Let me shout out of the patrons
Over at the Patreon
And get your name read out in the midsection
Although
That will be changing to once a month
From
April
How we doing, lads
It's time
For a new corn
More corn
I don't know about you guys
But
It's just
Another week
Another week in this
Whatever this is
Yeah,
Yeah, corn
corn coast is a good name actually because like this is like imagine if every meal every day you could only eat corn how sick of corn would you be yeah that's actually a really good
comparison sick of quarantine corn well yeah it's at a point now where like if i'm watching like i've been watching the wire lately um and it's just like just basic normal scenes of like someone in a
fuck like someone at some kind of gathering it's like what this shit like I just so used to normally
um but now I'm missing out on and it's just it's just sad yeah I've been having that same thing
any media even like movies that are coming out recently like even things like made during
the pandemic and like having to think about seeing the awkward way they must have to shoot it
yeah but seeing two people like talk to each other
like in a small area you know between them it's it's I just don't see that
anymore it's bizarre it's messed up times we're living in man yeah man but uh we got
we got to we got to go there we got to go to the crucible um obviously uh so many of the
comments were were about the the naming of the housekeeping segment for example where's one
Bill Hader gaming has one for us to start this housekeeping discussion going.
Honestly, what was wrong with calling the opening segment housekeeping?
It rolled off the tongue and communicated what its point was to clean up slash conclude the conversations from last episode and move on to the next.
Bonus points for coming up with comment crucible, but for simplicity's sake, it might be better to go back to the classic.
Problem is we've never cared about simplicity's sake.
That's never been at the top of the list.
Yeah, I'm adjourned. Moving on.
Yeah, I'm happy with the Crucible for now.
Did Picasso make his masterpieces by just following the norms, you know?
We're out here making modern art.
We can't just, you know, bend over and let the man do what he wants.
There were a couple of the suggestions like Finn Neville said the patron name section should be called the Checkpoint.
How do you feel about that?
Is it a bit too gamer?
Yeah, it's too gamer.
Yeah, I don't think that's necessary.
I'm happy with just the patron name section.
Yeah, I don't think it needs to be changed.
Maybe if it was like the checkpoint, that's not like jar related.
When I think checkpoint, I think of video games.
Yeah, it's a video game.
Yeah.
Profile feather left a suggestion.
An idea for a replacement of the term comment barrel is circle time.
If you don't know, it was kind of a popular primary school thing with the teacher would answer kids'
questions to students while the kids sit in a circle around the teacher the similarities are
uncanny between the two ideas again i i think crucible works better than circle time here circle time is pretty
funny there i remember circle time yeah i'm just kind of traumatized by it actually really did you have a bad
circle time experience yeah really bad circle time experiences i used to like that you know it was like a
circle time thing they brought out that big like sheet that everyone held like a
corner of and then would lift it into the air yeah yeah sheet yeah I don't know
how else to describe it like a big yeah do you not remember this oh and you're to like
crawl underneath it yeah while everyone is in like a ring making it go up you down
or whatever I remember that it's weirdly like cultish yeah it's very like midsummery
kind of stuff yeah it's fun like you know that
bit in the Big Lubbowski where there's that woman, like the topless woman, being flung around.
Do you not think that would be fun?
I think it would be really fun.
Just a huge sheet with like 50 guys launching you into the air.
That sounds pretty good.
Do I get to have my titties out too, though?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm in then.
I learned something really messed up from the comments.
A guy named Ryan says, I don't know if you guys already know this, but
Smarties in America, this is in reference to our discussion on Smarties versus M&Ms,
are actually very different than the UK version.
Here they don't actually have any chocolate and are instead a flavourless, chalk-like candy.
No one actually likes them.
Yes, I actually did know.
I knew that Smarties were different in the US and Canada.
I know that Mars bars are different and like Milky Waves and shit are different.
They've got different names for things, but I didn't realize Smarties were that awful in America.
What are you doing?
Looking at an image, smarties are
the little
tablet looking, you know,
fizzes and shit.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it looks like them.
That would make sense, they're chalky, so...
Yeah.
Yeah, I do picture those, like, love hearts
when I think of, like, chalk.
Oh, don't.
Canned Man Sand has one for us,
relating to the...
Going upstairs on all fours.
Fuck, yeah.
Discussion we had.
Nice.
Yeah, this was another kind of, not controversial, but let's just see what they say.
Wogwon, my dutty little mingas.
Not a question, but I have a cautionary tale related to the monkey stair climbing technique mentioned last cast.
I was around age 10, and at my auntie's house, fucking about on the stairs as you do,
the staircase was quite thin and the handrail wasn't in reach when on all fours.
it would be a fucking sick idea to bunny hop up the stairs by placing my hands at shoulder width on the next stair and hopping my feet up between my hands onto the next step while my hands stay planted I got three I got three-fourths of the way up the stairs using this technique until I made my fatal mistake I hop too hard and my feet overshot the step this gave my legs enough momentum to fly over my shoulders resulting in me fucking back flipping down the stairs and landing back first onto a vase on
a table and with James on this one fuck monkey stare technique exactly it just sounds
like you're not very good at monkey staring bro that's not monkey staring anyway that's
rad also yeah they invented a new way of doing it yeah that's that just sounds like fucking idiot
stares all right so meanwhile anyway guys get back to the the clever people's shit where we just
run up the cells all fours like like dogs or something
bullshit yeah there was there was one more more positive one on that note from
brendon r d i must say that the crawling at the stairs question was a generally great
talking point that was brought up and the drifting
analogy on rotating stairs
was a great comparison. I have a spiral staircase on my home and sometimes
had to fight the urge to do it when we had company
over when I was younger because my parents would be embarrassed.
The question I have is, is there an optimal strategy
for maximum speed when going up the stairs? Would maximum
velocity be more easily attainable
with or without socks? Would shoes
be an advantage or disadvantage?
Shoes would weigh down. Yeah, you need to have
socks or bare feet it depends honestly on whether it's if it's carpet and you have sock
you'll get maximum friction therefore maximum push off and you also need to do like a flick
with your like fingers that you push off with each thing of your hands to give yourself a bit of
like that's how you do it all right trust we've thought about this no i i reckon barefoot
with carpet no matter what man i think socks yeah i think barefoot i think the socks would
make it slip more yeah barefoot yeah man you need socks on it's the way it's like it's like
Velcro, you know, it's like, like, and then you, so you have maximum grip and therefore maximum push away.
What socks do you wear?
Velcro socks.
She made a sandpaper.
The, the most satisfying way I tend to do it is to try and clear as many stairs with each kind of movement as possible.
So you're like going up and just a swift, like, just creepy looking.
That's dangerous, though.
Have you ever tried to, like, leave?
We're talking about running up.
the stairs like a spider monkey, I mean,
there's no safety to any
at this. Do you know the story of Icarus, my friend?
No.
If you fly too close
to the sun, or if you try to do too
many steps with one stride,
you're going to burn.
No, that's not true. Any bad people would burn.
Do you remember carpet burns?
Yes. No horrible.
Awful.
I remember sliding around them in an
airport when I was when we were gonna fly home from Australia and I was really
bored because you know how long it can take to wait for the planes already and I
was like sliding around bored out my mind and my uncle's like dude you got to stop
doing that you're gonna get a carpet burn and I was like yeah bullshit and then
next time I did a little slide big ass carpet burn never done since no wait
this is this is triggering a death slide memory getting um oh shit
it's not like friction burns on the death slide
yeah yeah I think that might actually be
one of the reasons I became so obsessed with
tucking my clothes in
yes because I didn't have my shirt tucked in
got a
friction burn on the death slide and from that point
I was like I'm never doing that again
I just never did it because I was just scared of that
like slides man I remember getting a friction burn once
and I was like you know fuck slides the shit sucks
I remember tearing ass around bow wood
but it was just to say outdoor like it's got a big park and shit okay he's got a big like adventure
playground so there was there were three very three sides of varying height and length and then a
final slide which is a death side which is just like a vertical drop and then a like a little
scoop at the bottom so you could you know do the sliding part and not die whatever um yeah
i remember if we get really hot in summer obviously and you know so you go to the park you get on this
slide you just burn yourself yeah yeah you couldn't know it's like hot to touch yeah you couldn't
slide on those metal slides in that weather couldn't do it unless you want a pure pain yeah let's do
some topics so i've got i've got one um just a little nat geo article uh i found interesting if you
guys want to listen to this is it about monkeys um kind of in a way you kind of nailed it in a way
The question is, did ancient primates walk alongside T-Rex?
New evidence backs up theory.
The oldest known primate fossils were dated to just after the extinction event, 66 million years ago,
suggesting some primate ancestors lived even longer ago.
So they've discovered these, like, cringy little rats that, like, crawled around in the trees,
like eating bugs and shit.
This is weird.
I was watching videos about this sort of thing last night.
Yeah, we seem to have evolved.
like directly from rat
or things that look
into crabs
yeah from rat to crab
I suppose there are just like base
creatures that just seem to be
fine like crocodiles
and things of that form
like they're just like
Mother Nature just nailed it
they're just like don't even need to like adapt at all really
I'm not too sure about the biped
you know I think maybe that was a mistake
no imagine
crocodiles with hands
like thumb
they would be
it would be like the
Captain King shark
whatever the fuck his name is
yeah Captain King show
everyone where his name is
the shark
and fucking suicide squad
like that
but a killer crock
there we go
fuck it that'll do
it's an ordinary
the way they discovered it though
was that
scientists just like
discovered it in like an old
museum drawer
that had been there for decades
and we should probably just look at some of these
weird like teeth that we have in a pile
They found new discoveries and shit.
We just know nothing, man.
We know nothing about this ancient stuff.
It's fascinating to me.
Yeah, no, I've been getting, I've been going down the rabbit hole on this sort of subject.
There's so many good YouTube channels and videos for just learning.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't realize this.
It's one of the best things to come from, like, YouTube and all that.
Yeah, for sure.
Like, did you know there was a snake called a type?
Paitano boa. I probably
butchered that name.
It's referenced in Red Dead, isn't it?
Is it? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Red Dead, too. There's that huge snake you can find
like in a tree, yeah.
Yeah. But it could get up to 42 feet long.
Mm-hmm.
And guess what they ate?
Like cows or something.
Like crocodiles and alligators.
They were that big.
They could just like...
That's kind of sick.
Yeah, bad ass.
Why?
Did they go extinct?
It was too big.
Yeah, that was like a problem, wasn't it?
It used to be giant insects when the, uh, wasn't it like the oxygen levels were different or something?
So they're able to be like heat.
So much has changed over time.
Like the, everything from humidity to temperature to sea level.
Like this is something I just recently discovered.
I mean, not like I was the one that discovered it, but I heard about it.
it um like how humans traverse the world way back one and it's because the the continents were all like
attached they had pangea yeah yeah but they there was like a bridge connecting i think
north america and asia i guess and people just walked across well because the sea levels
were like so low oh so it just exposed all
this land and humans like grew over the world you know making their settlements they'd
settle down then people would move on and then they were all like cut off when the sea
started to rise and then you got people living in different countries it's it's wild to
to look back at this shit how going back to like the YouTube um like educational content
where do you think the like fact checking part comes in do you have to like just go by channels
are trustworthy do you think or that plays a huge part in it i think because like with the freedom
that comes with like youtube and you can just upload anything there's obviously a ton of misinformation
too it shouldn't be on the like reader you know let's just say that to to like find the sources
it should be up to the person that are like published whatever the fuck it is so in the case of like
someone like or chan like kertzka sacked or kerskissk i don't know you say it but you know they make an effort you know
because it's like to them, I guess they treat it like a scientific paper.
Well, yeah, we've got to have our sources or else it invalidates everything we've just said to you.
So what would be the point in doing it?
Yeah, it shouldn't be on like you to validate it.
And if a channel doesn't provide like their sources, then I don't know, they're doing a shitty job.
And someone should say, give us your fucking sources, bro.
Do that from now on.
I'd say it's partly on the viewer, though, because it's very easy to end up.
You need some critical faculty.
Yeah, because it's useful the way I've mentioned it before, like Google.
with they started building in these like baked in articles on videos where they're like
discussing certain things like flat earth and shit they put in some more kind of factual
stuff like they just if you're going to publish something that's meant to be educational
you should have your sources so if you're going to publish work that's pretending to be
academic or whatever you should definitely you should have your sources there or else it's
like that's a failure on your part and it just diminishes the quality of the work even if it's
true science and history
stuff like that.
Yeah, so it'd just be poor, like anyone who's really informed on that kind of thing
probably would, you know, because they probably come from a background which encourages
it. So, like, they'd be like, yeah, I'm inclined to.
And I suppose the communities do come together and they try and pick them apart, don't they,
like, try and pick apart the sources and try, scientists love arguing and bickering over stuff
like that. So, I mean, the only other stuff I have to bring up this week is that just the
stuff I've been watching and playing, that being, um, I restarted Octopath Traveler,
because it just came out on Game Pass.
I've been enjoying playing that again.
Because, you know, whenever you start, like, a JRP for the first time,
you're, like, pretty shit at it for a while
as you, like, figure out what it's going for.
So starting it again and playing it and, like, knowing all the tricks
and just, like, zooming through it.
It's really fun.
It has some weird design stuff, though.
Like, the side quests are genuinely so awful in Octopithe.
It might be one of the worst, like, side quest systems
I've ever experienced in a game.
It's so bad.
Fun game, though.
Really fun.
awful story there
oh horrendous story
yeah I just skip every single
yeah
I started it too again
I played three minutes
skipped everything
because I yeah yeah I skipped every cutscene
and I was like this is cringy but
I kind of want to know what was happening
yeah I think when I played it originally
just for like a couple of the characters I watched
all of the cutscenes because some of the stories
are just so uninteresting but
it's kind of modular in that way
you can just do that you could just play the whole
game with one of the eight characters
if you really wanted this cook so that's the the pro and con i guess of having so many choices and
options to go around as much as you want but the only other thing is the wire really which i
mentioned earlier but i just wanted to shout it out because it is as good as they say it's so
fucking impressive um it's so genius like the i'm on season five's the last season i've only got a few
episodes left um but just the way it's structured the way it shows like every uh every asset in
society from really empathetic standpoints it has like the the politics it has the like street
level gang shit and then the cop stuff as well and showing all their perspectives and the way they
intertwine so it's brilliant um i'd really recommend anyone go back and check that one out i'm trying to go
through all the classic HBO shows
6 feet under
the Wire, Game of Thrones
fucking Sopranos
just everything they release
tends to be really fucking good if it comes
from HBO so
that's what I've been doing
Yeah I wish it was just easier to
access
Well in America they got HBO Max
It's got all of them on
for his subscription
But yeah
It's the one I really fucking want
But you got what have you guys been doing
I'm gooning.
Yeah, can we talk about gooning?
Do you want to talk about gooning?
We need to talk about gooning.
Well, we could talk about gooning as in what we were doing last night.
No, we could talk about gooning as in the truth.
You said you were going to explain it.
Because I'm out of the voice.
Did you guys actually know about gooning before I mentioned it yesterday?
No, I didn't know that you would call it.
Yeah, I knew that was a thing people did.
I just didn't know it was gooning.
Yeah.
The official definition is...
I just googled it.
I don't know if, like, people know about it.
Because I've known about it for some time that it's this, this thing, this very specific thing.
There's a subreddit dedicated to it with their setups, and it blows my fucking mind.
So, do you want me to read the, like, the dictionary definition?
I've actually got it.
I'm going to copy and paste it, like, here.
Okay, do you want to read it then?
Do I have...
This is James' area of expertise, I think.
Okay, you read it.
Well-known slang term in sexual subculture
of chronic and compulsive masturbators
used both as a verb and a noun
means achieving the trance-like blissful state
reached when riding the edge of coming
for as long as possible.
Perhaps many minutes or even hours at a time.
Also denoting the absence of control,
compulsively pursuing the feeling as a avid master baiter.
The term has been in frequent use for at least 10 years,
perhaps emerging from the physical look of one who is gooning or in the goon,
which is a self-possessed, glassy-eyed state of stupidity,
thus an oath, also known as beta-mush and slain in the bait.
That's what gooning is.
Bata-mush. I hate that.
I fucking hate that.
much. Oh, beta is in
master beta. Yeah. Not
beta is in B-E-T-A.
Alpha-B-A-T-O-R. No, it's
Master Beta-Mush. B-A-T-O-R
mush. There's a quote at the end here
as well, there I was stroking for
hours, and I was into the
goon so deep that a
bomb could have gone off next door, and I
would not have noticed.
Gooner.
And it says it's been around
for like 10 plus years or something.
Yeah, that part, I
I've never heard of like this this phrase what it's just describing James is like old
meme yeah it wasn't a meme to James well I had you was very reality it was gooning
I figured it was exaggerate you weren't actually goon him for three hours no I wasn't
no it was just a joke it was just a like look James no Jim I'm not what's the longest
you've goon for then yeah go on tell us I haven't like I've never don't know what
Yeah, we know you did.
Because you would go off and you'd probably lay it for like an hour, just gooning away.
Well, no, because I think it's like, there's, there's like edging and then they're gooning.
I don't think...
Yeah, what's the difference? What the fuck is the difference?
Well, like, go out, well, there's a, there's a subword it called Goon Caves.
And that's like kind of what gooning is.
Goon caves.
Yeah.
I've sent, I've sent, I've sent,
Jim load of picks of it.
Just go on wed it and just search it and that's, that's, that's, that's, that's specific.
R slash gooners.
No, our goon caves.
Yeah, all the weird, like, wank stuff.
People that, like, make form communities around wanking.
Yeah, it's, like, extreme addiction if you, you have to just, like, um, goon.
It's all, like, enabling each other and, like, encouraging it.
No, you've only gooned for six hours, or did eight last night?
It's, do you think there are some people that, like, they work Monday to Friday,
then it gets to Saturday, and they goon all day?
Yes. No, I think that, that...
Yeah, they probably plan for it.
I don't know what at work, they're like, they're thinking to themselves,
I can't wait to leave my office job.
These people don't even know that on Saturday I'm going to goon for 10 hours,
and I don't even care.
I'm coming to work on Monday, having gooned for 12.
12 hours consecutively, not even having slept, just gouged.
Wasn't that like one of the Guinness Book records where someone like jerked for the longest time?
Yeah, you know those world records where I was just like this guy like comes like 15 times a day
or has like semen that's like 60 miles an hour.
Like that that is a result of gooning.
That's like the root of it all is goon.
So the training for something quite important really.
What would it take for you to start gooning?
No, I can't.
No, like, if you saw that, like, the rock was gooning every day.
Oh, yeah, if the rock and Kevin Hart made a gooning movie,
everyone would be doing it.
Do you reckon Hollywood is enough influence to increase the goon rate?
Yeah.
Goon is a loved movie, as I said earlier.
Goon is a loved movie?
Yeah.
Have you never heard of goon?
Sean William Scott.
It's like a comedy about a hockey player or something.
Oh, okay.
Goon.
And it's got Jay Barrichelle in as well, hiccup himself.
Do you reckon he goons?
100%.
Well, is that your goon topic done with then?
I'm glad I know what gooning is now.
He's fucking fascinating.
Like, that shit is so fucking fascinating to me.
I don't know why.
These, like, subcultures.
Yeah, like, pornosexual.
Like, fuck, it's incredible
It's just, it blows my mind
This is weird
It's pornosexual
It's a pornosexual
Your sexuality is porn
Oh
Yeah, that's another one
Is that like a thing
Yes
People, it's like
It's like when people like
Embrace like a porn addiction
And they're just whole life
What do they call it pornosexual
Yeah, pornosexual
But now the
The thing we say when we're playing Apex
Is we're just the goon squad
And we just go
Yeah
for the goons squad
I want to come into town
beep
so these people
though
these
gooners
what are we calling them
goons
goons
isn't it just
goonies
I think a goon
can goon
goons
goons can also
goon
if a goon
in the world
did he truly
goon
isn't that
interesting
that a goons
can goon and
goon
goons
but a goons
cannot goons
also
Goon's Goon.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Do you think every goon is a gamer?
No.
Is Sean William Scott a gamer?
Probably.
John William Scott of Goon fame.
The most famous gune.
He was the one who invented it.
I don't think you'd have time to goon if you were a gamer.
No, but I'm thinking...
You can multitask.
From like the image you've sent me.
They've got like a...
setup like
yeah
goon caves
that's
his goon caves he's got
a laptop
like stood up
next to
two monitors
at like
a curved desk
sort of thing
and
like short
so
did he just
invest his money
into gooning
is gooning his
hobby
that he dumps money
into
yeah they must
it must be
like
what kind of
setups
are we talking
like what does it look like
no this is obscene
no we're this is
like
15 monitors
like that level
of uh
put like it's like
send me a picture
or put it on Discord or something
oh my
yeah give me a second
I'm going to save this to my computer
fuck
I almost saved it onto my desktop
yeah like this
this this you know
oh my god
yes this is why
This is what I mean.
So, obviously, I can't show this.
It's too far to show it on YouTube, but to describe it,
it's like a guy, he's got like a, is that like a sofa he's like lying on?
Yeah.
But he's got his little coffee table with like an iPad, a laptop, a monitor,
and then in the background, like a bunch of monitors,
each one with a different porno on it.
And his legs are like spread.
The most ridiculous one, there's a big,
white wall in the background then he's got a projector projecting porn onto the wall oh yeah god like this
this is this is this is the goon set-ups like this is but that's they're playing like 10 things at
once yeah because it's you're just trying to like goon your mind out of like existence
do you think this is actually what um monks do when they go and like isolate yeah monks are goers
Yeah, because you're supposed to be celibur, right, if you're a monk, so...
Yeah.
I suppose if you never actually nut and you just goon.
Goon the gay away.
That's being like a...
Like, it's just a goon lag.
You're sent to the goon lag?
Like people make them in Minecraft.
Like I sent Jim one that is someone made that in Minecraft.
What do you mean?
They made a goon setup in Minecraft?
Yeah.
What, and then put like Minecraft porn on the monitors?
No, actual normal porn.
Like, it puts my fucking mind.
Like, this is like the most, it's like addiction when they're just like, yeah, I'm just going to be addicted.
And then they just go down the slope.
Yeah, that is just embracing it, isn't it?
Yeah.
Just taking it to like the next level.
Do you reckon there'll be people when like VR is more popular?
Yeah, there'll be like game.
There'll be people that make goons.
setups within a VR space.
Yeah, so everyone
can be like, we can all join
hang out.
It's like VR chat, but close it's
Gooning them.
VR chat gooning.
It's probably
a wettier thing. Let me, let me, let me just
VR gooning.
Man.
Like, I just, I'm not
saying the jar fans that you should
goon.
That you should goot.
We've talked about porn addiction here
before just just go on goon our goon caves and yeah that's that's the name of them
and try to because it's like man cave but taking it again to the next level just just look at it and
try to argue that porn addiction isn't bad that being said do try gooning at least once yeah you
got to try it yeah they're knock it to try it everyone can uh try it after these messages
evening or night. This is the part
of the show where we go over
to the Patreon's over
Patreon and we give our thanks
and it must be said
this is the last week of March
going forward
this will be done on a monthly basis and not
weekly. This has been said before
but just want to give you a heads up
so big thank yous to
Zypheer at the bus stop
suck
sucking cock
Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.
Big Joe, Danny Green Art on Instagram.
Bean juice should come in a squirty bottle.
Jamie, just grow your arse hair out, then cut it and glue it to your head.
Ike Benjam.
Tonyos Weld.
James, next time you invite me over for spin time, make sure your bum is clean.
Jim is bubbling Ruben's cock, and despite initial existence,
resistance.
James.
Come on, read it again.
Come on.
I'm losing the will, Ruben.
You've read like six.
Wait, sorry to interrupt you, James, but...
Are the JAR fans, like, do they hold a bunch of, like, repressed, like, gay feelings or something?
They're, like, obsessed with, like, gay shit with us doing it.
Sorry, James, continue.
Jim is robbing Ruben's cock, and despite initial resistance, Ruben is getting weird.
Ruben is getting really hard.
And I can't deny that you're actually, really.
It's pronounced C-Dur James.
Oh my god, so true bestie, I love Maltese's oo-woo.
Mom. Squadron leaders are requested, requesting a rally point.
Where should I send them?
Mo-mo. Clunge Bob spunk trunks.
U-A-ya-U-A.
What have we kissed inside the 3.8 litre,
6-cylinder-2002 Buick LeSaber?
A random dibby jarling.
Around these parts I'm known as Longcock Leonard.
My dick is very long, hence the name.
Crash Punk, Ruben is the Jay-Z to Jim's Kanye changed my mind.
Schnaught, minga-dinger, etc., etc.
Minecraft Slavery Mod.
Fancy Nancy, don't put your blame on Paul,
don't put your blame on Barry, the Chuckle Brothers.
Little Duckie, Big Chungus.
Oh my goodness, this candy is so sour.
Hi, I'm James, I'm too lazy to read the whole page your name.
Mort of the Ballwheel Valley.
Guttaguchi has hot sex with Logan Stevens.
Salad 399, 539, James bonds with the razorhead baby of a mutual love of imported car parts.
Don't check out Nate's mini-fix on Instagram, check out D's nuts.
Adam McBride, Krusty Kamakaze.
If James is pisser dick, who is shitter-ass,
Miggers in Tomato Town
I showed my wife John
and she refuses to sleep with me
unless I bar when I orgasm
Give us a bar James
Harriet Broadly
I really love to chug-jug with James
Big Cheezer
Servals are kind of cool
Detroit become too human
My tongue is fat
My tongue wrench wrench
Where is the wrench
Oh, there it is.
Hey, uh-oh, I'm stuck.
Hey, uh, hey, my tongue is fat, Annie.
Oong, Ong, O, O, O, O, O, I, aye, aye, aye, aye.
Guys, my friend recommended Big Mouth to me.
What do I say?
The doepster, aka KSI LGBTQ plus.
I'm getting a detailed backpiece tattoo of the guy getting a detailed backpiece tattoo of Agi, and you can't stop me.
Piggy Wood Hogmar, Out of the Damn Way, aka Review Tech Blackwater.
Why is your heavy attack? It's slower, but it does more damage.
The Bush Bush.
KSI, please stop wearing my mother's wedding dress.
Imported guest.
Oh yeah, mate, it's me, KSI.
Not going to stop wearing that wedding dress.
The fabric is so silky, brother.
Tom Bereneck.
Gilbert the awesome one.
Catheter bag, Capri, son.
Question for James.
Where does the brown M&M?
rank on the milf scale is that what m&m stands for milf and milf
nate's mini figs check my on instagram javas upload enough review text into my brain
to put me to sleep for the next month cortana wait me when jar needs me but with tennis
balls 011 iE2 mr cheesy watsits that crunch on its head 1,000 okay i'll ask you
one more time who was in paris check out d's fat nut
on Instagram aka Wanker Cock. Big Mouth Episode 3, Revenge of the Dush.
Cobalt Rird. Winner winner chicken minger. Gwerty come. Drain my cock Johnson. Chaser
the dragon. My ancestors are smiling at me, review tech Tamriel. Can you say the same?
Argi underscore Bebo check him out on Instagram. Also only fans. Blade Runner 27. Ships slurpum.
Comment barrel is the greatest name you mingers could come up with.
up with anything else will be shite randy ruins joseph jewish jarling yes that's very good james fondle
his balls a little that's good i'm not finishing that one
what's i said earlier yeah yeah they are aren't they they're very they're very gay they just like that
i'm okay with it yeah fuck it they want to express themselves get the gay out somewhere this is a safe
supposed to get the gale yeah be gay as you want thing feng fang fong feng a fong a fong a fang jack tom fudging
armstrong welcome to the islamic communist revolution the christian capitalist status quo has gone on too
long i thought that one's you know it's not using like some of those buzzwords and shit about like
yeah it's on the preter that one before yeah it just teeters but i think it's just about okay
hi honey i'm home from the future cosmic mapping piss drinkers unleashed i'm going to get a detailed
backpiece tattoo of Argy and you can't stop me.
Aaron Kavanaugh, aka, keep the Patreon names weekly and abolish the monarchy.
Tonido.
Oh, a piece of candy.
He noble-noble.
Michael Mayn 2000.
Stephen is human.
Conna Tada.
Butter me up some porn on the cob.
Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Harbor.
Greetings, Corncast viewers.
Make sure you're using the provider jar 4DX pocketpussies to get the full experience.
Katia fucking Rannigan and...
Wait, where's David Wallace?
Did he unsubscribe from us?
This is breaking my heart, David, please.
Kattya fucking mannigan, and wait,
where's Nate's mini-fix?
Did he unsubscribe from us?
This is breaking my heart, David, please.
Among us for me is quickly becoming like minions.
Insufferable.
Thomas Martin.
They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack.
Everybody shout heavy metals back.
Death to orbit metal.
Insert air guitar.
Boahog Police Department supports gamers.
Quebec Films.
Chris Warren.
sinkman will come for you when you least expect him watch out ora mercedes cool dip chip
pitch got a beanus numa banana ben fartbag george kenwood parker geese fiddle aka the cream dream awful
twenty one forty two how about we go down to the border and get our dick sucked through a cage
rut row raggy ramy is going reist of roy fion o'gorman meld mel
Melvin, brother of the Joker,
Omcat.
Ro, Horsborough.
Ferdia Plyman.
Sam Buckley, aka Review Tech Swindon,
aka paid $20 laugh at my name.
Please forgive my Freudian pussy lips.
Brough, Sam.
Mordecaiser Mains rise up.
Adam Johnston.
Tomboise.
Juan Hernandez.
Jam.
SpongeBob Square pant.
Honey, I'm hurt.
I swear I'm not.
Logie Bear.
Born to piss, forced to drink.
Sneeze a nose.
Big whoops.
Grembleau.
He's coming too.
Roger that.
That gaming gang.
He games when nobody else be looking.
He game when the gamers least deserve the game in, but you do it anyway.
Big cheese, Couta Panda, 1100101, E.
Lucy Ties an Asian anal queen.
Randy ruins Patreon.
The Poo Man.
I bet Shane Dawson's husband is regretting it.
Katty a fucking manningin.
And last but not least, David Wallace.
Thanks for the support, everyone.
Welcome to the second half of the corn where we answer questions from the
Corncast community, head over to the JAR Media subreddit with a suggestion thread, but you can ask us,
whatever the hell you like.
Ayamu Paya, sorry, says, I'm sure you have said this before, but have your parents ever
listened to the JARCast, and do they even understand what JAR Media actually is?
If you have answered this question, has their opinion or knowledge changed?
Eddie, I've just listened to a JARCast episode where you mentioned having eight-year-old
and teens as relatives, so any of them fans of Jal Media too.
I don't think my parents have ever listened to an episode
I usually say not to bother
because it's like
it's just a thing where it's like
demographics certain things are made for certain people
you know like we don't make this
for like a 45 year old
you know
The commute to work
Yeah
well maybe
maybe we're discriminating because I'm sure there
probably is
we get that sometimes with like
I'm like the 70 year old jar fan
Yeah
like just
statistically they have to be out there
just the breadth of
like where all the traffic comes
from around the world but
yeah I don't know
I know I know
my mum has
watched at least
half of one episode
yeah she likes
like the the intros and stuff of like
cute dogs and them and shit you know stuff
you'd expect
you guys have anything
I I've never
told my
family about it like they know of jar but i've never told them about what i talk about or anything
because i just don't want them to have interest or to even be like oh like i'm keeping jars
distant as possible to them you're just embarrassed of us aren't you yes the only one that i know
is that my dad once went on one and he was just like i didn't understand it and i found it
annoying yeah that's exactly right so he just stopped
which is pretty funny
but everyone else I've ever talked to about it
has always been like oh check one out
and then like always asked me about it
like just unprompted they've asked me oh yeah this
oh look at one I've not asked them to look at one I'll look at one
and I never hear about it again so if they've looked at it
they've obviously thought this is dog shit
and they don't want to tell me or they just don't look at it
and it's like podcasts already kind of
well Joe Rogan's kind of changed it but
You know, podcasts are podcasts and like recommending a podcast about nothing.
Like, it's so fucking niche.
The podcast is a bit of a meme because it's like, what do a group of white men do?
They start, what do you call a group of white men?
You call them a podcast.
Yeah, that's a long-going meme now.
It's really boring.
It's fucking all over Reddit constantly.
Our podcast just has that eye roll, doesn't it?
It just has it.
It has an eye roll to it, unfortunately.
The Devalan has one.
What fictional character would you add to the Jarre roster and why would it be
clap track from borderlands
I love clap track
Argi
Is clap track
That's something like a mistake right
It's Claptrap
I wasn't sure if like three introduced like a new one or something
It's just Argy
Why are we talking about Argy
He's already on the roster though man
Yeah but no clap trap trap is Argy
So clap track can't be added
Alex do you want to tell us what Argy did recently
What what which thing
which one oh you know
what the one he did yesterday
yep
um
I had like
leftover domino's pizza
on my kitchen
counter
and how much left over
how much you're talking
um
an entire pizza
a whole pizza
was up on the kitchen counter
and he's a medium
um
toppings
it was a cheeseburger
they still exist
Are they back? Are they back?
Oh my word
Carry on
I'm going down a rabbit hole
Yeah I was
I was upstairs with Paisley watching the wire
And I did hear a bang
But I had headphones in and like took a headphone out
And continued to listen and couldn't hear anything
And put it back in
And then it was like an hour later
I feel like a camera mile
So I went downstairs to make a tea
Like turn the kettle on and turn around
and saw that the pizza boxes were all over the kitchen.
And I just like was so fucking confused because he's tiny.
He's like a foot tall on a kitchen counter.
He somehow managed to get the pizza box down.
And it was not with the help of Pacey because she was with,
she was by my side the entire time he was down there.
And he ate the entire fucking pizza.
He ate an entire medium pizza.
And his, uh, his poos have been orange today.
But the grossest part, the grossest part, the grossest,
part. When I let the dogs
out to go to shits
and piss or whatever
Uggy of course released
his pizza shit and then they both
act very suspicious and like
they kind of plant their butts really close
to the steaming piles of dominoes
cheeseburger dog shit
and they keep like sniffing near it
clearly with a plan in mind
to go back
for seconds like a fucking rabbit
but I scooped it up and got rid of it before that could happen.
so small
get...
How does he outsmart you?
Every time.
Yeah.
Yeah, every time.
It's a loony tune saying.
It's like the wily coyote.
He just fucking gets you.
This is one where I'm actually stunned.
And I actually cannot figure out what he did.
The only thing I can think of is that maybe like the edge of the pizza box was like off the counter.
So he like somehow jumped up and grabbed it and pulled it down or something.
Did you scream at him?
I was so pissed at him.
God, I was angry.
Because that was like my dinner, too.
So I had no dinner.
And a very swollen dog.
Yeah, because he got the, like, the wedges down, too.
So it wasn't just the sand.
It was the sand women and children, too, or whatever.
Yeah.
Oscar Man 97 has one for us.
Hello again, Jha.
I've been itching to ask this question.
for a while now, and I've only now gotten the chance.
I recall you saying on a very early jarcast that you hated the works of the weekend
outside of his collaborations with Duff Punk, and for the longest time, I felt the same.
Some of you may have noticed recently he's had a complete image makeover, taking on a much more
retro style mixed with some dark themes.
His new music feels very different, too.
I suspect this is due to Duff Punk helping him break out and to pop more and influencing
his more cinematic elements.
I was wondering if your opinions on him have changed at all.
I personally can definitely call myself more of a fan now, Cheers.
Yeah, I like him more.
I like what he does more now than what he was doing, like, pre-Star Boy.
Like, Starboy was, like, the big word started to change.
But before that, I didn't really care for much of what he had to do.
I've never listened to a weekend album.
All he is in my mind is just Starboy.
But then he showed up in Uncut Gems and said,
well, what are you doing in this movie?
It's very random.
I listen to a bit of after hours.
I don't know if I listen to the whole thing there or not.
I can't remember.
So I don't, I just, but it's just, you know, the singles and shit.
I like more of what he seems to be about now than before.
Like, I'm more inclined to listen to a weekend project now than I was in like 2015
when Beauty Behind the Madness came out, for example, and he had a stupid haircut.
Yeah, I don't know.
I might give it a listen now if this is what people are saying.
Yeah, I've never been interested, though.
any of his stuff and yeah
I've never really wanted to
well Kim Jong Milhouse has a question
as he lives in Swindon have you ever
run into Sagan of Akad
interestingly
I watched a biographic thing on
Sargon of Akad the actual Sargon of Akad
from oh yeah yeah and it's like
imagine you want to make political
video so you name yourself after like the
first empire like empire like
ever I don't want to run into him to be honest
of all the people I want to meet in Swindon I don't want to meet Carlos Swindon
because his name's not Sagan of a cad it's Carlos Swindon
yeah I've never seen him I don't want to see him like riding his bike around or something
but I wouldn't even know if I had like I don't know what the guy looks like
you because I'd be screaming it at you it's fucking Carl
from Svindon sassy Sonia HD has one
Hello, lads, I hope you all enjoying the lovely springtime weather we've been blessed with of late.
Now, seeing as you all, particularly Alex, have expressed a lot of love for poo over the years,
I'd like to present you with a little would-you-rather question.
Would you rather have explosive slash projectile vomiting diarrhea for a week,
or indestructible rock-hard constipation for a month?
So you're saying projectile shit and projectile vomit at the same time,
or wok solid shit.
Yeah, they just said explosive slash projectile vomiting diarrhea.
No, I'd simply choose constipation because I don't want to be sick.
I'd choose constipation because I feel like I could do more to like stop that in this world
where I'm given something that could last a month.
See, my answer is the complete opposite.
I'm much more comfortable with this, with it coming out my body than keeping it in for a month.
Yeah, can't be straight up now.
Because you would just die, so it's a pretty stupid hypothetical, I'm afraid,
because you just have all this, you just have to go and get it surgically removed.
It would be considered like an impacted shit, and you'd have to go and get it removed from your body.
That's not true.
That's not true.
It's true.
If shit gets stuck in you, they have to remove it surgically.
Someone in my family, he takes a shit a month.
No way.
Because he fucking shattered his entire, like, lower body.
when he was a baby
the NHS filled him with so much drugs
and then he just can't shit anymore
and the NHS have said
oh yes I thought
What
So how does that work
I've never heard this
How does that work? I don't understand
How does he release
It does it once a month
And it's a fuck
It's take a big
You know the big bottles of Pepsi
That's the size of the shit
No way
I told you this before
you have to
I can't
shit that big
no Jim
it's a South Park joke
I don't believe
it's real
I've seen these shit
I've seen it
my dad
what do you mean
what did he take a picture of it
no because it happened
and my dad was like
James James come see this
I came downstairs
opened the fucking
path and door
and it's just like
beachless
because the shit is that
fucking big
like you know
the fucking shit
was so big
it was
Are you fucking serious right now?
Are you being serious?
It was, the shit
was sticking out so far.
It was the same height
as the fucking toilet lid itself.
My dad got a fucking spoon
from the fucking kitchen
had to beat it like a wooden spoon
and beat it like to mush it up
to flush it.
I don't know how many times
I try to flush it
would not move
because it like curled in the toilet
and it was already like,
bro, I've,
I,
bro,
my gut is just telling me to
deny it but I believe it yeah I do it's fucking real did you keep the wooden spoon
I wish you'd taking a picture you know horse dildos all the way up in them
so I guess there's no reason why you couldn't take a Pepsi ball shit no Alex I
it was that fucking disgusting that I just couldn't bring myself to it well I
understand why you didn't you know because like a selfish thing no because it's not
a good thing because he's like five he's a young boy oh shit
it yeah like i didn't realize he's fucked him up mentally because he's so
paranoid of shitting like he he can only do it once a month and it's like it's
like a really fucking big deal but
okay i just assumed you were talking about your dad this all time yeah that's what i
thought too yeah i didn't realize he's a little kid you're not a natural one
storyteller are you no why would his dad go and get him and be like look at this
i don't know i just think he found funny to me that seems way more obvious i like it's like
in fucking South Park
and it's like trying to take the biggest
you in the world, you know?
And that is like a
cringy man thing, where it's like,
yeah, that makes more sense to me.
It's so big.
Like someone has to see this.
Yeah, but this, I've done
fucking logs.
This is a new fucking thing.
It blew my mind.
And I've never been the same
since I've seen a fucking log that big.
Jesus, poor kid.
But a fucking flush does not do anything.
It doesn't touch it.
It's like a boat stuck in the swarer.
canal. Yeah, it just, it's not going.
Damn.
Yeah, like, no, the smell as well.
Like, we're talking about a month's worth of shit crammed in your body.
Like, the smell that makes is, it changes a man.
Jesus.
I thought I talked about this before, anyway.
No, you had told me about it, but not, like, beat by beat like that.
Josh Road 9 has one for us.
Say there was a Lego jar game.
What would each of your death song?
sounds be.
That's Ruben's one.
Yeah.
I'd go, bah.
And James would go.
Bha.
BAM's Lord 3 has one.
What is your opinion of pissing in the bathroom sink?
It is easier as it is just the right height.
No need to aim and it's good for the environment as you don't waste water flushing.
I'm not a degenerate and only pissing the sink in my house.
Pissing in the sink is easy.
I like, I've done it.
before, like the kitchen sink in the kitchen
just, it's the way height,
just, but it's easier to piss outside.
A tactical
sink piss can be quite nice.
I think you're a fucking
cretan if you piss in the sink. I haven't done
it in years, mind.
I do it from time to time now.
Who's the people
who piss outside of the toilet the most?
If you've got like
a morning wood
and like, you know,
sometimes it's more convenient than to sit down.
on the toilet.
James, do you have a problem of like peeing in the shower?
No, it's like if I need the toilet and I kind of, there's like a shower, like in the next few hours, I'll just go to have a shower then just to piss.
Like it's killing two birds with one stone, you know?
So you just piss.
You'll have a shower just see you can piss.
Yeah.
You piss in the bath?
I like piss in the shower.
That is where the morning piss happens actually is in the shower.
is in the shower.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Every day, yeah, every single day
without fail, I will piss in the shower
in the morning.
There you go. It's nice. It's the best way
to piss. Yeah, shower's fine.
Sink is wrong.
It's not.
It is. No, it's fucking foul.
It's not.
It's Bob Barrick.
I would say
it only is if you didn't run the sink
and you never cleaned your
your sink.
Yeah, if you've got two base stains
all over it and your cocks all over.
I don't know about you guys, but when I piss, it fires out like an anti-aircraft.
No, no.
Just like a move.
If you haven't touched your cock yet and you slap it onto your sink, you might just shoot in 15 directions, and that's just not going in the seat.
No, because you run the tap and you make sure it's nice and pointed down, you know.
No, the idea of there being a possibility that it would spray
even a couple of molecules just spraying up
and like onto the tap itself or the handles or whatever
it's just nasty like that's the place where you clean your hands
don't shit where you eat don't shit where you clean
You're washing your hands in the running water
that's not like touching your hands all over
It's just an association thing.
It's gross.
Like what?
You rest your balls on the sink.
Well, that's only if you're really feeling it, you know?
Let's do a couple more.
June pedigree has a question which, I don't know.
I think a lot of people struggle with.
What do you think classify as someone as a gamer?
I have a friend who I regularly play video games with on almost a daily basis,
yet he refuses to be classified as a gamer.
His reasoning for this is that he doesn't identify as a gamer
and doesn't like the culture that surrounds being a gamer
despite the fact he plays video games.
Do you think there needs to be like a certain threshold
of games played or time spent playing games
to make someone a gamer?
Or is it just a case of whoever identifies themselves as a gamer?
I know James has said he isn't a gamer in the past
so any response would be appreciated.
Well, it depends.
Because it's just like, it depends how much,
you, it, it, it, how much you're passionate?
So you think it is, you think it is like time-based?
To an extent, yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, repeat the question.
Clarify the question, I'm sorry, I was, I was, I was, what is a gamer?
What is a gamer? What classifies a gamer? What classifies someone as a gamer?
Because if you, like, the Google definition is just a person who plays video games or
participates in role-playing games.
Yeah, that's the thing like everyone participates in her now.
But not everyone is like, like, you know, but not everyone is like, like,
a gamer and because it depends on who's saying it and depends on whether you're trying to offend or not
I think so yeah when it's like fucking gamers you know it's referring to like I don't know just like
15 year olds yeah yeah they're like it's like meant to it's meant to be like oh they're just
fucking derogynist and racist or something I think that's why people don't like identifying
as gamers is because they have such a rep now for just being cringe
um you know there's like early gamer shit they have so much to prove with all those memes and stuff
and i'm a game you look like just enough xp there is a bunch of like really cringy shit that comes
out of like game culture but i don't know it gives a shit about like i agree if you're a gamer
or not like fuck we're so fucking obsessive like labeling everything and putting everything into
like categories constantly play games or you don't man why do you think game
gamers got their own label.
Because not like musicers or filmers.
TVers.
TVers.
That's what I hate about the word YouTuber too.
Not all YouTubers are created equal.
Not all gamers are created equal.
Oh man.
We're really getting to the root of some shit here.
Yeah.
As per.
Would you say this guy, this guy plays on a daily basis is a game?
It depends. What he does is if his spare time.
Let's just say that we go and buy the...
That is spare time.
The default non-derogatory definition.
It's just someone who plays games.
Well, yeah.
And likes video games.
I think that's the best way to go from it to me.
It's the most equal ground.
Look, being a gamer, it's open to everybody these days.
So the gamer is just someone that plays games.
So when it comes...
I think everyone knows who is being addressed contextually as a thing.
You're fucking gamer.
You know, you know that.
like if you're just someone that plays like mobile games or whatever you're not the person being addressed in that scenario you're fine i think it must be like a language thing like the word has no real use anymore
because like so many people play video games like gamer like fucking means nothing it's like yeah everyone watches like movies and shit it's like and listens to music and stuff i mean you don't call them music musicers and shit like that so
Samana Boney has one.
Whatever happened to Auger 8?
What is Auger 8? I can't remember.
James.
Oh, Auger 8.
Oh, was it your Discord name or something?
Yeah.
Yeah, what happened to Auger 8?
I don't know what happened to Auger 8.
That was James' gooning persona.
But the second part of the question is, is Ori a dibby?
Yes.
The Ori and the Blind Forest main creature.
I don't know
It kind of is a dibby
I think that it's not a dibby
Because there's more too
ORI than just the dibby quality
I would say actually that
I'm trying to think
It's been a while since I've played
They just have lots of cute characters in it though
The little owl in the second one is a dibby
That's a dibby
Because it doesn't really offer very much
Because Auri
Ory does quite a lot
Ory does a lot of work
I've got more respect for Ory
further than just it being a dibby you know or he carries a lot of shit like the respect like um
there are dbys that are important in their own universes but i don't know it designed to be like
cute and marketable is often my main criteria and it does kind of meet those two things i don't
think it's does a dibby not have to be something that's like a sort of side thing
Yeah, that's what I think it is.
Like it's only...
No, it's like Wally's a dibby.
What is?
Wally.
Fuck, that's a good point.
That's a good point.
He's the main character.
See a dibby?
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
I'm looking at my Lego.
Cute, marketable, big fat eyes,
little cartoon creature that makes...
It literally goes...
Yeah, it's...
Yeah, it's...
Sound plays a big part.
Yeah, and Orie goes...
Dibbibbish noise.
No, it's...
doesn't have a dibby noise.
It's too sparkly.
It feels like a fairy thing, a little dibby.
Yeah, I just listen to the Wally noise.
Wally's definitely a dibby, yeah.
I just listen to it in the track, Wally.
Mm-hmm.
Dibby.
Even its theme is like that.
Wimcical and like curious, inquisitive,
zany, wanky.
It is the animation companies that are responsible
for the dibby, I reckon, more than any
Oh without doubt.
Is R2G to a dibby?
Yes.
Um...
Kind of.
He doesn't have the like obnoxious cute factor a lot of diby's do.
He's just like a... he's like a rubbish bin.
He's not cute really.
He is cute. Although he does have the cute noises though.
Yeah.
No, he has a dibby.
Because he's also a, um, mcuffin thing too.
Yeah.
I don't think Orias a dibby though
Orias too cool
Got like swords or something
Swords
What about that little ball of light that flies around it
That's quite dibbish
It's not cute though
It's got like a cute voice
Yeah but it doesn't
It doesn't have big eyes of nothing
It's just light
Right Dank Jarsolz has this
I heard you talking about wanting to visit
Dreamland in Margate
I know it was probably in jest because it's notoriously bad
but still. Now I'm not going to read the rest of this because they clearly misheard us.
We didn't say the dream land in Margate.
We were saying the dream lounge in Swindon, much preferable.
I'm confused. What's this other place?
What the fuck is this?
I assume the dream land in Margate is something this person knows
and they just misheard us saying dream lounge in one of the episodes
and wrote in about it asking like, why would you want to go to the dreamland in Margate?
Now we want to go to the Dream Lounge in Swendon.
Hmm. Yes, that's what I was trying to clarify.
Let's end on this one from Blue Lamp 77.
Alex talked a bit about his fucked-up nose last episode and how it's difficult for him to breathe through his nose sometimes.
I'd like to know more about this. Is it completely random when it gets worse? Do you get worse colds?
Also, do the other jar members have any similar strange health defects, e.g., I think James says something about how his ears hurt when he eats ice cream.
For me, whenever I get a cold, I partially lose here.
in my right ear and sound gets distorted.
Everything sounds like it's coming through a phone call.
We talk about what's wrong with us?
Because there's a lot.
Like weird ailments, you know.
It's not, you know, anything too ridiculously person or anything.
I've got a broken eye.
I've got a broken, fucked up jaw.
James's eye one is fucked because of the cat inclusion.
Yeah.
Being attacked by a cat, having a lazy Owen Osborne.
Uh, my ears are fucked.
How are your ears fucked?
I just, my hearing, I'm just fucking deaf.
Like, my hearing's terrible and I grew up having to go to Dr. Constantly
because I just had really bad ear pain.
My jaw is messed up.
So if I chew too long, the bones will grind together.
If I eat, it will start giving me an earwake because the grinding just causes issues in my ear.
So I can feel like the muscle.
in my face, in my ear
and it makes
not, it's just weird.
Um, I don't know
what else. Yeah, my
my nose thing.
That will only get worse as you get older.
Yeah, yeah, it does get worse.
That's fine. Unless you get surgery and like laser it or some
crazy shit. Yeah, I'm just straight up
just going to have to get surgery, um,
which either means waiting for three years through NHS or paying.
It's plastic surgery, isn't it? That's what they do.
Aceptor.
Plasty, it's called.
Yes.
Yeah, because the rhinoplasti is like a nose job and the septos, like the inside bit.
I've watched like surgery videos on what they do, like, in preparation for when I never to be able to go through with it.
It is kind of cool.
It is actually kind of cool. So they just like fix the middle of your nose so it's not like completely off kilter and fuck that.
You wake up breathing for the first time.
Yeah.
On a grateful universe.
Like I had a fucked up thing happened today where like it just felt like some of my cartilage was like ripping off on one of the sides.
I don't even know what that feels like.
I can't imagine this is just such a like, I have no idea what that feels like.
Just imagine that your nose is always uncomfortable, like genuinely at all times.
Yeah, I mean, my nose is like always like stuffy lately, but I bought some.
Yeah, yeah, it's similar to that.
Oh, it's getting better again.
Yeah, like the reaction to hay fever and stuff is a bit like that kind of inflammation.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, if you get no surgery and you, after the surgery, you talk like Squidward.
No, I actually was thinking about it, like, if it changed my voice completely.
Yeah.
How funny that would be.
You know, do you know, some of the weird things I have, I don't even know if it's an issue, but like, every so often, the inside of my nose will get inflamed.
And I have to tear the skin off on the inside of my nose.
It's just...
It's...
No, otherwise, it's like, it just gets infected, and it becomes really bulgy.
So I just have to take the skin off.
That's horrible.
It's fucked up, dude.
Put some nivier on it, or anything.
And I've got asymmetrical ears.
That's such a neat character trait, I guess.
I mean, no one's face is symmetrical.
Yeah, but one of my ears is, like, deflated.
It's been crushed, so it's collapsed, basically.
So you mean, like, separate to, like, you're just facial development when you were a child, baby, whatever.
You mean, like, something else happened in your...
life which meant your one ear is crushed.
Yeah, I think it was just from birth.
I think my ear just got fuck so birth.
And it's like, it's just...
You got cauliflower eater from being squeezed up.
Fuck, that's it.
It's just like, you can really feel the cartilage.
Like, there's no, like, softness.
It's all just really fucking mussely and veining.
It's gross.
It's, I have fucking weird ears and I hate it.
Yeah, there's...
I like your ears.
Thank you, Jamie.
Yeah, nothing wrong with your ears, bro.
Yeah, I remember having like an MRI when I was like 12
Um
Cause, and I think this all does loop back to the like nose nasal thing
Because I just constantly had headaches all the time like pounding headaches
Brain not getting enough oxygen
Yeah
Just couldn't figure out what it was and like the doctors were doing like everything
And I remember having like an MRI to see if it was like something
Yeah, they found nothing from it
But
Did you go in one of the
Imagine how much that MRI
would have cost in like America oh my god
did you know one of those tubes
though yeah where you like can't move
and they're like instruct them yeah
no it was a full MRI and I'd like
take all my
like metal stuff off me
yeah I had one and I had a head concussion as well
it's fucking weird yeah yeah
anything to do with like brains and shit
and it's good for that
I should probably have another
let's see what's wrong with my brain
Reuben what's your mailman
um just gonna have a little
think, hold on.
I'd say Hayfiel is quite an ailment.
If he was really irritating, yeah.
Just thinking, I'm just, I'm just looking at my body now.
I'm flat-footed.
That's kind of annoying.
I can't really, like, run as easy.
Like, I can run, but I, like, my body feels it a lot harder because of the flat feet.
What does actually mean to be flat-footed?
Like, there's not a...
The sole your foot doesn't have an arch, and that can have a knock-on-in-booked on your knees
hips. However, I've been walking
for like more than half
of my life now, actively holding
my legs out in the correct
place and my feet, or my feet out
in the correct position.
Which has meant
that my legs are just really weirdly, like, strong
from constipending, like
all of my time walking and standing
with them, like, tensed to some extent.
But it can also mean that
your Achilles is shortened and therefore
more prone to tearing.
Or not to shorten, but it's like,
because of what you're doing, you know, your Achilles is constantly being, like, strained or some shit.
Right.
Which is, you know, so I'm always aware of.
Every now and then it will feel like the inside part of my foot is going to tear in half.
Like, it really feels like it's splitting.
Jesus.
It's fucking, that's not very comfortable.
You know it's not because, you know, you know, your skin isn't going to pull apart
and all the tendons of your feet are going to pull apart.
But it just doesn't feel very nice for, like, a minute or so.
Well, less than a minute.
And then it'll go away and whatever.
It's fine.
But that's usually.
but you learn to not make that
you learn to avoid making that happen
just over time
but yeah that's very flat-footed
hay fever
did you have any brut
my nipples get dry sometimes
your dry nipples
because of the
and the shirts
the shirts would always
your shirt were for something
I forgot about that
yeah I really
friction used to complain about your cold nipples
all the time
yeah because
Because now I have to, when it's cold, I've got to just moisturise the fuck out of my nips.
Have you ever tried, like, getting some runners tape or whatever?
No.
Because there's a gag in the American office, Ed Helms.
Where he gets the bleeding nips.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've peeled a lot of skin off my nips.
I feel like you were just looking at them.
The break in that December, I felt like it was you looking at your nipples.
I were feeling.
I was actually
I've rested my head back
and closed my eyes
and I was imagining
the times I ate all
I was saving all my nipple skin
putting it in a cup
so I could have a little feast
Oh Jesus
fucking Christ
On that note
That's a corncast 35
Man I'm tired guys
I had like three hours sleep last night
Um bro I had five
Run off fumes now
Yeah
Any final words for this here cast?
Like, comment, subscribe and goon.
Yeah, check out, goon.
Show us your goon.
Show us your goon.
You will be banned.
I will ban anyone who posts gooning shit on the job media subreddit.
I'm going to send it to you.
Every time you tweet on Man Man, I'm just going to reply with goon.
Jim, say something funny to end it, will you?
I've got nothing.
I'm really sorry.
All right.
See everyone.
