JAR Media Posdact - Goon Lore - Corncast 38

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 01:48 Comment Dingle 08:56 Who refunds halo 3? 11:49 Door Bell Dingle 14:30 The Gamer Tunnel 17:44 Paul McD 20:12 Dingle vs Kong 30:40 Mid Break 30:56 Reddit Questions 31:08 Weird things we've said on the cast 33:11 The WORST dibby 35:38 Ear worms 40:08 Toilet Paper Folding 44:58 Mobile Games 50:01 Last of Us Remake Remake 57:11 Gooners Give Feedback 1:03:11 JAR vs a Grunt from Halo 1:06:49 Minecraft brings us together PO Box: IHE PO Box 4268 CALNE SN11 7AY

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your host, Elvis, and welcome to episode 38 of the Corncast. We are joined, as always, by Otis. Yes. Lawrence. It is I. Laurent. And, uh, Jordan.

Oh, okay. I needed to bring back Jordan or would you prefer to be known as Pearce around it? Jordan is way better than that. Jordan Pierce? No, actually, on second four, Pierce is better. Before we get too deep into the show,

let me just shout out the patrons, the Jiam Media Patreon. You can get the audio version over there, support it that is, and get your name read out. at the start of each month. How are we doing, folks? It's a 38th lockdown week. I'm kind of settled in.

I've got my camemarle ready for a chunky cast. I've got some topics today, but... I've got... Well, you know, you know, yeah, you know... I don't have anything for this. It's not... We're not actually in lockdown anymore, technically, are we? No.

What do they call it now, then? Freedom with restrictions, is that what they're saying? They call it fart down, I'm pretty sure. We're transitioning into the fart down stage. I think they call it lock barrel or barrel down. Yes, let's transition into the lock barrel, crucible down segment of the of the corn where we kind of addressed some things from the last episode that weren't fully completed. Jack Diamond's going to start us off by saying

If you boys had to work together to fight every jarling How many do you think you could take down To make it easy for you each of you get to pick one thing To use as a weapon that isn't a gun So let's say out of the 90,000 jarlings How many of them do you think you could take out A lot of them I'm going to be honest

Wait so they're on and we get like a battle X. If that's your weapon of choice. Could it be fictional weapons? No, you're not allowed to do. Because I was going to say, you know, you just run forwards of a lightsaber, wouldn't you? Well, realistically, you wouldn't be able to win? That, like, that, it can't work.

You wouldn't win. If we all had lightsabers, we could kill 90,000. No, you couldn't. 90,000 people would overwhelm you. No, they wouldn't. We just spin round. Yeah, how could they even get close? If they don't get light sabers as well? Have you ever seen?

They've been running from us. No, that's a silly question. No, it's a silly question. Oh, is it, James? You can try 90,000 people. Oh, I'm going to use a lightsaber. No, be realistic. It's a fucking block of butter in a sock.

Soap in a sock. Butter in a sock. That's my reference. something that everyone won't understand yeah but I'll be able to take at least like two with me I'm gonna say like 12 yeah are we a team or yeah we're team just one-on-one it's like left-a-dead imagine like that oh yeah I'd have to like a golf club then or something no like a golf club Maybe you'd have to hit a golf club over like a sword.

You'd have to hit with perfect force, like every single one of them in the temple. To like efficiently take anybody down. Because otherwise, you know, they might just like get really hurt and, you know. Get angry. They'll kill you. What about all of us with just really sharp, recently sharpened samurai? What's like? Well, no, because they're not, not weird style.

I'd rather just have like a broad sword because, like, you know, it's just for like. like a moron isn't it you know i feel like it would be quite easy to use a samurai sword well no because you use a samurai sword differently to normal sword if you if a sword you're just yeah you're just smacking them and you're doing damage but you don't do that of a fucking samurai sword that's not how they work you're wrong you're supposed to slice pull back slice not just use it as a hammer so we do with sword to use it as a hammer boom but realistically

maybe it's like two hammers or something well how far do we want to to go on the realistic weapon because it's a truck a lorry boom that's a weapon I just a take it that dude

it's a weapon I'm not one fine Casey Clark has one for us I have a counter suggestion to the Swindon positivity Maybe someday if this virus ever disappears A fun live podcast idea

Could be you to go for a walk around And document how horrible Swindon is For your non-UK viewers I'd love to see real-life blight town As you describe it In its full horror I don't know I don't That wouldn't end well

It would end with us being shived Yeah Yeah I don't know where you'd go I guess there's a few options You see, I'd like to rent out like a party room at the Dream Lounge and record the episode of the... No, what do you do is you rent out that worm in Casper's. And then invite all the strippers from the Dream Lounge

and you got the pudding as well. Junior Fawson Ferdus left a pretty biting comment actually saying premium private sex 100 click here 18 cams dot and then just a bunch of symbols

I've noticed this on YouTube now a bunch of I don't know I don't remember that spotting this as much before that like on Instagram whenever a post is put up immediately it's like the bunch of spam links and shit on it

is this happening on YouTube now including the Jal Media comment section that's where they belong though in the jar media comments no they don't belong there do you think this is this is how AI like this is the beginning of the AI takeover well they do it by just leaving links on yeah random videos that and you follow the link people must click them like who do you think actually yeah those links I'm old people yeah old people things old people yeah people that don't really understand the

internet too great and they're like looking up a gardening tutorial so they're like watching the latest cast they're hearing the topic of gooning being discussed and they start getting a bit horny and lucky they see the premium private sex link in the comments and then they just follow through I don't actually clicked on it though no no found out where they they they ended up what where do you actually go Jim knows to premium free sex didn't why shouldn't we be clicking it? You know? Well, you should if that's what you want.

I don't want that, but you know, like... Why, it's free and premium. Foxy Grandpa's going to round off this segment. Calling the housekeeping section, the comment cruiser barrel would fix everything. How do you guys feel about that one?

Hate it. Terrible. Yeah, just an awful idea. Just embarrassing. think. You know, just think before you speak next time, man. I mean, honestly. So was, what is it, the crucible barrel at the moment? Yeah, crucible barrel. Yeah, that's, that just makes way more sense, you know? Can we change to the barrel crucible?

Nah, that's just too far, you know? I like it as it is. Yeah, a little bit of restraint, please. Jesus Christ. Doing this. So, um, I got a couple topics. The first is, uh, a little one I just want to bring up to just kind of bust James's bulls a little bit to be honest

about a refunding Halo 3 you want to Yeah what the fuck James Why would I pay For a game I won't play When I only play Apex Legends To wait for money I feel like you've bought loads of games that you don't play

The last time I bought a game Was quite some time ago why don't you want to play it yeah why don't you want to play halo through us because we don't play it we would if you were there no you wouldn't you just don't play game

so you bought it and then refunded it no I played like two matches of Jim and Rubin and refunded it such a pleb I had good reason owning a Halo 3 was living outside my means because I had no money for the whole month and that seven pound actually got me through the month I needed the money

simple as I see it sounds like somebody who saves too much and lives at home well yeah I bought seven pounds if you you could not get through the month on seven pounds like

yeah I could it's like two Starbucks yeah you go to Starbucks like two times the week yeah all you'd have to do is not go to Starbucks I haven't been to Starbucks you know like a week and you have and you're fucking velveterizer and then you could have halo 3

but you've chosen why would i have halo 3 if i'm not going to play it why have you got a velveter because i use that like almost every day and it's a vice it's something i enjoy i don't enjoy playing halo 3 you're a fool that's a fucking lie that is a lie no i enjoyed playing that that we i don't know it's like the the remake halo multiplayer that's a part of the master chief collection Halo 2 anniversary. That's the fun one. I like playing that. It's because it's actually like possible to kill people in it, to be fair.

Halo 3? Like, I'm a cod player. I didn't play Halo back in the day. I played cod. Why would I like want to play Halo now? You're hearing this, everybody. Listen to him. Cod's just better.

That's the effect. Is there sound wrong? I just tuned out the second I heard, why would I want to play Halo 3? You know, it's just not. No, but you guys have this weird, like, obsession with Halo 3 as if it's just like everyone's got to love it. It's because it's a massive piece of media. That it's not very good.

What's your favourite game then, hmm? What a more for two? Uh, fallout New Vegas. Shit game, not even functional. Halo 3, functional. Look at this. Look at this awesome game. Imagine if we had New Vegas game play up, how boring would that be?

Well yeah, you don't play, you don't watch New Vegas game play for fun. I have a fucked anecdote, something that happened to me that I didn't really enjoy, I got to admit. It's just, I don't know how to break this down, to be honest. It's kind of post-man-related and just neighbours being weird, but I had the Royal Mail lady knock on the door and was like, so I have next to a neighbor's parcel, but. They need you to sign for it because they won't come to the door, but they answered the door with this weird, like, doorbell with a camera on it that they can talk through, like, they're jabber the hut. So they asked, like, will you take the parcel then?

And I was like, okay, because I didn't really understand what she meant, because I hadn't seen this new doorbell bullshit, jabber shit. Then, like, half an hour later, I was like, I want to get rid of this parcel. And, like, wandered over to the neighbor and, like, interacted with the feet. shy camera thing on their door and then like this robot eye popped out of it started talking no it's like the the voice they're like shrewd like kind of pixelated voice hello hello hello yeah and they're like I was like

oh um yeah we've got a parcel for you and then they kept saying hello oh for some reason it's like I can't hear you hello so I was just standing there all like waving into it like talking into it um now and then she i held the package up to the camera and she was like oh uh do you think you could leave the package um around the side of the house in like the recycling bin or something i was like okay why didn't they say that to the delivery because it had to be signed for him because they didn't want to get up and sign for it that that's the awkward way it's like it's just like a total wasted time all because someone didn't want to go to the door twice.

I thought they were for if you were like out. Yeah. Yeah, it's used so that like if you're out, you'll get a notification on your phone and you can just be like, oh, I'm not in, could you leave it here? Simple, quite useful technology. Why would you use it when you're at home? Of course this is the way it's like actually adopted and used

so people could just like avoid any interaction they have that. It's like one of the few like people we get to. interact with at the moment it's like the postman it's like even that no and uh the only other major thing I had was um something I kind of wanted James's explanation on um something I hope you know about regarding it it's like car related so did you see Elon Musk's like tunnel thing he's boring um yeah his boring company tunnel, I don't know where it's made but it's like a

I'm going to need you to explain it to me like what the thought process and what the point of it is because it's like a tunnel that splits into two like single file tunnels that look really kind of small

like in diameter and they just go on for what seems like miles so what I know of the boring company company is that here's this idea where in the future where you know there's so many cars on the road like just think of LA and like what not where there's just a stupid amount of cars and traffic is a problem it's the idea that you can he can board tunnels underground which people would be able to drive into from like like a motorway to get to parts of the city and avoid traffic but did you actually see the video I've seen like one of the car that or genus or something like driving through it yeah and it's like neon gamer colors and but I don't understand because the road is so narrow if there was a crash or

anything if a car broke down is so narrow there's no room for like you to get out barely I don't how does that work I don't know like I've heard things where it's all it's all like planning so that it can be implemented on Mars. Like, it's all just, like, research and development now for the future. And it's, like, trying to progress the way tunnels are mined, so it's a lot more efficient. But it does seem a bit pointless. Like, the result, the product you're going to get is kind of useless, but the way you get to that product is good.

It's just like a typical Elon Musk type thing. I don't really know. Yeah, it just seems like to just drum up attention. I didn't really understand what the video was showing. I guess it's like an idea for the future, all these tunnels like running through the underground for people to... I don't understand how it could alleviate, like, congestion if it's single foe. Surely you'll just have like a tunnel where you're trapped. You've got to drive through these tunnels

behind loads of people stopping and starting all the time In my mind it just redistributes the same amount of traffic It doesn't really alleviate it It just kind of moves it somewhere else Well, some hope for the future Some wait for the call Especially Paul McCartney's out there That's who we're waiting on

Fuck Elon Musk We need Paul and McCartney to show us the way you listen to any of his latest album I chucked on the other day his voice is unrecognizable to me he just doesn't sound the same at all

I've heard two songs from it but they were both songs which he doesn't sing on oh right the one with Beck and the one with the one called the something of Venus kiss of Venus

and I can never forgive him for you Such a weird pop song. How about four, five seconds? Kanye's best song, I mean. Yeah, but that's just because Kanye bullied him. Kanye bullied an old man. Wait, what's the story behind it?

He was just playing the guitar. And Kanye was just, he just really liked this one bit. He did all this stuff. And then that was it. Like, Paul McCartney, that tiny bit. I think he's really. whole day with him or something it was just that tiny bit I can't stand that song yeah Paul McCartney he's had a one hell of a fall from grace until he was in

destiny that was like a spark of hope for the future but yeah I suppose what what do you think is going wrong with him though like how can you be as talented as he was and then when yeah like Is that it? His voice He's different It's not so much old I mean it's different It's time

Like create a mindset It's different Yeah like he's made all the good music He can make at this point Like it's done Yeah it just seems like he's trying to prove himself Like yeah I'm still pop star So who cares

I prefer like the Jack White way of doing it We're like Every now and again release something really cool Jack White isn't like 80 or whatever the fuck Yeah true maybe you just can't let go I thinker I like that song

you actually listen to it yeah it's my favourite song you listen to it on YouTube music yeah I love YouTube music it's the best music streaming site no question don't even argue facts

well what have you guys been killing time with we we watched a we watched a movie recently Alex obviously separately don't remind me Dingle versus Kong yeah Dingle versus Schlong

so it's the latest in the Monsters universe which they've kind of like they might as well be in that same universe to be honest but they like big it up and they talk about it as if it is as kind of beloved as like a Marvel universe or something

when it's it's got like that Gareth Edwards Godzilla movie and the what's the Stranger Things girl who Drake likes called again

Millie Bobby Brown Yeah her Um She's in it and stuff Well they're just like Currently trendy actors Are in this stupid cinema The Kiwi kid from Deadpool 2

Oh yeah Yeah He was probably cast in that Because of Deadpool 2 yeah a giant monkey fights a giant lizard and one of them wins for what five minutes of the film it's it's genuinely like there's nothing to say about the actual film because it offers nothing in terms of any like artistic vision is there well yeah is the is the battle between the you know said monkey and said lizard you know

is there actually is there actually not a lot of it there's a know and what you get is lame yeah it's so so lame they you know that it's such a meme at this point the the the like battlefield three color palette orange and blue thing the whole movie looks like that for a start so it looks really fucking synthetic and corporate and fake bullshit's really annoying like art direction and style because it's adam wingard who's obsessed with this like 80s aesthetic but without like grounding it and anything that's that's that actually you know like funner engaging because you have all these human characters who everyone always complains about in these like Godzilla Kaiji movies like just get past

the humans they're boring and lame and it's like no different here except the dialogue somehow even worse like I don't know what you thought Jim but the characters like why they even in the movie every time they say something it's just some stupid throwaway like expository line meant to explain the kaiju bullshit it's like they don't even care you don't you don't like any of the characters they they exist to say

it's written in the the destiny that Kong will fight lizard yeah which I don't remember ever being mentioned before yeah it's so obvious that well first of all they just ripped off the

Avengers style it's like the most insidious example of of just like a studio scrambling and thinking okay what what IPs do we have we tried doing the mummy that didn't work is it the same King Kong from Skull Island yeah yeah yeah so it's that is the same

universe I just wanted to make sure because you know movies can do whatever they want now and just you know but Skull Island actually Actually, I was expecting to get more of an extension of that With the way Kong has some kind of fun action at the end of that movie where he's like beating up like a lizard thing with a boat and there's some like memorable stuff in that movie that director There's like there's like some visual stuff. I actually remember The approach to this new one. It's like they're copying BVS and I don't know why the fuck you'd ever want to do that

but it like boils down into the like I guess minor spoilers for the movie if you guys care but you don't even really get the title as much as it's really just about a fight with a different kaiju that hasn't been in like one of the stupid movies yet and it's not cool unless you went into it and the only thing you're after was like kaiju fights without anything anything else at all like nothing but even there I don't think they're good Kaiji fights. Like the Pacific Rim ones are way better, like, conceptualise. The storyboarding sucks.

Like, the action itself is, like, the choreography of what is going on. There's nothing memorable about it. Like, what is the best action scene in the movie, for example, Jim? Like, what is the standout moment that, like... There really isn't one. And the movie, like, tries so hard between the action scenes to bore you so that you're not paying attention. So then... Because I like what...

didn't have high expectations honestly it was not i was looking for the bare minimum um just like just give me like fun fights and some kind of energy to this some kind of self-awareness maybe a bit of commentary like the original japanese movies and that one shin godzilla from a few years ago which was actually way better and you know handled it with a bit of like respect as opposed to well i feel like just asking anything from the premise is already asking too much but

remember the good Godzilla um is uh the guy who did evangelians involved in it we good Godzilla

do you mean the one from 2003 or some shit I mean the Shin Godzilla you just said yeah yeah Matthew Broderick and uh

the guy who's who's uh the birds in hop Hank Hazeria I like that movie as a kid The only thing I know about a new Kong movie is my friend, like I just read some reviews. I read a review on Letterbox and he just said about how he couldn't help but think of the opening to Shrek,

you know, with the opening of that film apparently. And how he was just joking about re-editing it so that it has smash mouth on it. And how he just, that would fit or something. I don't know. I don't know. That's all I've got. That's all I know about it is that it's boring. but the opening you could re-edit smash mouth on it yeah i could see that yeah for sure

it made me it reminded me though of the uh the universal universe they were they wanted to make yeah yeah it's it's like dracula untold yeah and uh yeah mummy and they were gonna have the invisible man it was gonna be like johnny death or something it's it's it's rare for like Um, it's just weird to think that Tom Cruise was in, I mean, you know, like, usually he's a bit better at picking his, like, trash, you know. Yeah. Yeah, they're normally successful too, and that was a huge flop. Yeah, but if you're an actor and some producer comes up to you and he's like, yeah, or casting dude, they're like, we got this universe in the works. It's going to be just as big, if not bigger.

than Marvel. And you're going to be the Iron Man. You're going to get like a couple hundred million for the first one, your Iron Man. Let's do it. You're not going to say no, are you? No, I suppose it's not. Yeah, I can't blame the actors.

For the same reason, you don't really blame the, like, Ben Affleck and Aquaman and all that for the justicey fuck up. I don't blame him for it being bad. I'm just surprised that he was in it, you know? It's just weird when you see him in film of quality, like Mission Impossible, and then he's in that. It's just a strange, like, oh, okay, I didn't think you even needed to bother. We're not short for these, like, corporate scrambles to try and cash in on cinematic universes. And, I mean, the ripple effect is still going, and I don't know if it's ever going to stop, like, until I guess Marvel stops working, but God, it just doesn't seem necessary at all,

because this universe in particular, there's no real link or point to any of them. You can watch them independently, and you basically have the same experience. There's really no point, aside from just riding a trend. It's so transparent, but I guess I'll have to see what people like in the comments say, my my expectations were higher and I was kind of shocked by how bad I was expecting schlock like yeah like fun schlock yeah it doesn't give you time to think like Pacific ring rim schlock you know it's really stupid but the action has like fun moments in it's memorable like there's nothing that's what I was hoping for dingle the other reviews I'd seen didn't

really make it clear whether they thought it was good or not they were just like jokey he he ha ha reviews but I'm disappointed now that it sucks yeah yeah and because we don't have HBO max I paid for it too so that's an extra kind of dagger in the harks it's like

oh wow we didn't get to go to the cinema but instead they still somehow managed to fuck me with the just terrible film that wasted my time yeah don't watch it james does shit stick to

your asshole here? Um, only when it's diarrhea. Yeah, how many dingoes you got when you got these kind of diarrhea farts explosions? Like, no, Alex, not many people get dingles. How do you know? How do you actually know that? Who the fuck gets a dingle? How would you know? Don't lie, you've had dingles.

I've never had a dingle. You have had a dingle. I've not had a dingle. The fact you're so quick to deny also kind of implies. Have you had a dingle? In my lifetime, I'm sure. I'm absolutely sure The thing is I probably have

But I don't remember when I have dingles See after these messages Um Hello This is me Argi Why you do realise that there are Vibo shirts Available right Take a look at the really cute

Shirts Look in the description or Under the video for more Welcome to the second half of the call Where we answer questions from the corn community. If you want to leave your own questions for us to ask,

head over to the suggestion thread where you can leave anything you like. Delude Dree's going to start us off. Do you mingeroonies, especially Alex, ever regret some of the weird stuff said on the cast? For example, in episode 11, Alex says, What are we talking about, corn? So corn is poo.

Very suspicious. I have a feeling corn might be something alien. Like, forget about xenomorphs. Forget about, you know, know aliens in movies it's corn you have to worry about because I think it's up to something what if what if that was the corn's plan it goes through your entire digestive system and then from that it can mimic you and each you know person is gradually a piece of corn that has been mimicked Jim what is your subject I

I have no memory of saying that but I mean I believe that that is in that episode I mean no don't this might be a ploy to like gaslight us into thinking we've just mimicked their way into the cast with a mimic question about mimicry oh god damn it maybe this is the corn um wait you said that about corn yeah because because you know when you poo corn it's like unshaged so the theories they're like getting your I understand the theory but um no I I regret you saying that yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i mean yeah go back a bit further and i guess you know i regret that we made a video where james was in a green bin dancing and i'm like what what was the plan there you know what was

the end game that's one of my few non regrets is that video it's like the magnum i just i look at it and i'm like you know what did i expect the reaction to be like at school and shit you know What was I? Sorry, this is my trauma, you're not allowed to fucking talk about it. I'm in that video too, asshole. Yeah, but I'm the main fucking centrepiece. El Biggie has one for us. Who is the worst dibby? Which dibby character is really unbearable to watch?

It's your personal least. We need the dibby list. Yeah, no, yeah, refer to the list please because I need to, I'm struggling. Hold on, I've got to load it up. There are ones that I would imagine would be horrible, like, porny. I imagine that's horrible to watch. I've not watched it, so I don't know. I don't find him unbearable because he was the only thing that was making that movie bearable.

I mean, I'm going to just go with the plain and simple and say minions. Yeah, I was going to say, I think it might be minions. They do wind me up. Like, I saw an advert today for Sky. And it's so like, look, the funny yellow people. they're doing things that you do sometimes like maybe going to watch a movie or going on TikTok

and it just made me angry I was like God it's so predictable and formulaic and it's so like look everyone this is you like the yellow things yeah this it's minions are dibby's like

so abused you know they've abused they're like um diby's reduced at it's like the next level of a cynical they almost need their own like term where it's like the next level of dibby they're not even hiding they're not even trying to hide it anymore yeah yeah it's just dibby abused you know it makes me like a

metal gear solid thing dibby abused abused abey james what's surely's favorite one what comes to mind when what just your worst dibby worst dibby yeah i'm gonna need the dibby list i can't remember any divvies. Um, you know, like, uh, porny, baby Yoda, Olaf, Ewks, Toy Story Ali, Scrat, Wally. You gotta have something. Minions, that's not the correct answer. So, what is there? I, I, I can't say. I find it too difficult. God damn it. Jim, what was your one? I'd agree with Minions. but because you already said it I'm gonna say there's the squirrel Scrat yeah yeah yeah I was never that into scrap I gotta be real

Tighter than Barkon has one for us I was wondering if you guys have any songs that are earworms or just any songs that annoy you For me it would be the song Happy by Pharrell Williams speaking of minions it will play every other hour on the hour at the grocery store where I'd work at and would not leave my brain until I got home and listened to something else it caused me such pain and misery thanks you goons Oh fuck no this is a really fucking difficult one because there was a

I worked in a garage right and they'd have a radio one and it'd be on like BBC like radio one or whatever so it's the same thing and I it's like I'm trying to remember what year it was this might be 2016 time but the chart songs there

were fucking atrocious and all of them because I listen to all of them every day all of them are terrible I can't remember any specific but just that ear were let me Google the most ear were

homey song I can think of the top of my head is that I don't even know what it's called I just know it because of that one guitar riff it's just like the advert dearn d'er d'n lael lair

yeah I i i am x yeah i am inks i don't know what i mean i remember reading the genius lyrics yeah niji tonight or leading the reading the genius lyrics and it's just like yeah the guy who came up with it just randomly thought the guitar riff and then like took a taxi home and made the song in like an evening he was he was i'm pretty sure he was about to get in the taxi to leave and he was like wait wait here i need to write this down yeah yeah You wrote that then and then went, yeah. That's actually quite a good song, though.

And then Jewelie Leeper has a version of it as well. You're one of my kind. Yeah, it didn't necessarily have to be one you don't like. That's just an earwormy one to me because it's just so simple, you know, that why you know the song. I'm trying to think, I don't know then. I do feel that way about Christmas songs. It's the main reason I can't stand them. It's the repetition.

I think um uh the get lucky you think it's earwormy i think it is earwormy i think i think the the year it came out it was played so much yeah so i don't think it's an inherently earwormy song but it's like it's like hypnosis it's been drilled into the deepest part of our brain yeah because it when i went to the gym all the time many moons ago it would play like every three songs it would just be get lucky yeah it was so popular yeah i can be right with them if they're like that kind of quality but i have to say often earworms are just like bullocks i hear like you just can't get out havana that was uh one that was one of yeah havana unana

Yeah, I heard that. Yeah. Yeah, I heard that a lot. I was going to say, it just came to me, there were three songs that I remember distinctly from being on holiday in Italy, like two years ago. And yeah, that song was one of them, and the other two are just two songs

that I think were only popular in, like, Italy. So I remember them. You know, yeah, that one. Maybe not. It kind of fits into the earworm thing, but it's just a band that whenever I think about and I don't know if you can even call them a band but they're just

responsible for like the worst music ever and that's LMFAO remember those guys Oh I love LMFAO Yeah they're an uncle and nephew like team Yeah They're in like

Their songs are used in like every advert In every trailer Holy shit that it Yeah they made their two like albums Or their two songs and it was like party rock anthem and then sorry for party rocking and then they fucking went

it's such a perfect arc they left such a mark on pop culture from those two fucking albums and I was yeah that's my main answer then corn toilet has a fucked up one for us

hello they're goons firstly I just wanted to thank you guys because there's a bored college student in quarantine this podcast has given me a lot of much needed entertainment keep up the good work now for my question When you guys wipe your ass, do you fold the toilet paper into neat squares or bunch it up?

I myself wrap the toilet paper around my hand until I have a toilet paper mitten. Cheers. How much toilet paper are you fucking using in one way? Yeah, that's such a wasteful way. You're going to block your toilet, yeah, yeah. The mitten thing's just unacceptable. It's four sheets. It's the four sheet fold.

No, four sheets is too much, I'd say. If you want to be truly... Yeah, yeah. I think you can definitely use three. two it is pushing it though i think i think discretion depends on the type of poo you are having if it's diarrhea there's no point folding you just got to get it out you just got a wipe but if it's a clean shit then you fold so yeah i don't know how uh anal you guys are with your home routine with this shit because uh do you guys have like wet wipes

in there any at any point or how thorough are you guys getting they are available you know so depending on the situation yeah it just it really depends on the situation obviously if you have a one wipe you know wonder then you just right yeah it's contextual i don't like wet wipes really i like him i can't feel clean after i like that fresh feeling sometimes you know yeah exactly i think it's all that fresh though no it's fresh you do it and then you dry it off again, you know? Yeah, you don't leave the just residue wetness there just to linger.

But skin is somewhat absorbative. And so when skin gets wet, there's like a feeling. I don't know. The fuck are you talking about? When skin gets wet, there's a feeling. Yeah, if you go and wash your hands right now and then dry them, you get all the water off your hands.

is still like a wetness to your hands. Oh, it feels nice and fresh, though, that feeling. Even when you've washed your hands and you dried them off. It's nice after a shower, but if I've got my trousers and I've got, and like, you know, I'm dressed and stuff and there's the moist feeling among the deaths. You're not drying well enough. No, you, you just don't know the feeling. You couldn't know the feeling.

How could I? I don't have an asshole. Do you never get a feeling? Do you never get the feeling when you... That's a little bit of diarrhea. I haven't had diarrhea. James, this is a thing that you seem to have

like way too often. You know, what the fuck you eating? Yeah, dude, be real. How often do you have diarrhea? Depends what type... Do you have diarrhea more than once a week? No, that would be... That would be obscene.

That would be like... That would be these. I don't know what we're doing with right. now that you haven't set the bounds well I'm not talking like liquid fucking shit I'm not that diarrhea but you're just talking about the odd

yes like one of them like when you do that and you wipe you just you just get a feeling you know but how often do you have the that's not what I'm talking about though yeah but that's still a feeling

it's a fucking horrible feeling let's just talk about feelings everyone fuck it anything into it any feeling I get it like maybe he wants every three weeks

that's still way too much I've just said I haven't had diarrhea since I was like four that can't be true I'm just telling you like not what are we classing is diarrhea though oh you know like you're trapped on the toilet

and it is literally water yeah I haven't had that in fucking ages we're talking about the no we're talking about Alex's what Alex said the the Dupilla gaming squirt the slops Yeah, I mean, you know, you have bad shit

And if I, you know, if I just drink a lot one night And eat something, you know, spicy You know, it's a bit more liquidy Yeah, the gut wrencher You have the gut wrenching shits the next day Yeah, like you get them every three weeks Depends off eating, you know? I just imagine they're being like

They're being one geling specifically out there Who like hates it every time poo comes up And like they start like gagging and shit whenever I just picture them every time yeah they're like driving their car around in the car in the car leg 27 has one for us

hey jar when talking about games you mentioned mainly console and PC games but were you ever into app or mobile games or just general thoughts on them I enjoyed fruit ninja doodle jump and WRB back in the game I felt the mobile gaming has some promise back then but now I feel like mobile games

have completely gone down the toilet wrong that person hasn't watched a specific video on this subject go watch that it's a good video no look at least video on mobile gaming where he literally answers that question of the view of mobile gaming it's a good video that's because it is shit though

mobile gaming is there's a lot of potential for it oh yeah there's always been potential but if you describe what it is right now it's shit but has been shit for a long time because it was like they're all about that race to the bottom thing. So the nickel and diming situation is just ridiculous. Well, yeah, I mean, a lot of people now, it's, they don't actually want to play a game on their phone

in the same way as the games they would play at home. It's, they want something they can probably play at one hand or some shit. I don't know. It's just, yeah, because I see the market for, like, Game Pass. I would love to be able to just stream stuff to, like, my iPad and just use, like, a controller, which, I mean, I think is the plan. um but you need the streaming speeds to be able to do that and that that's not really mobile gaming is you know it's kind of something different that's streaming i used to like

like plants versus zombies the first one was really good the second one was shit um fruit ninja i liked for like a gimmick when that came out um jet back joy route ride i liked as well there were some good ones but um yeah it was mostly just like from being trapped in like places where I'd kill some time. Whenever I have a chance to play games, I'm not going to be playing on my phone. I've got a switch or PC or anything. Anything else is preferable than playing on my phone.

I'm a... I've synced some time into Gatcher games on phone. Like Fire Emblem Heroes. Oh! Yeah, I synced quite a fair amount of time into that one. And then there was this other one. I can't remember its name. But it was popular.

Say Genshin Impact. Do you rate the time? Or what? Do you regret it? No, Fire Emper Heroes was a fun game. And I liked playing it. What's the gutcha game? Would you play, Genshin Impact?

Well, it just looks, it looks a lot more advanced than like a Fire Emblem Heroes. It's like an actual game. We know how you feel about actual games, so you just can't be bothered to play them. Yeah, yeah. I agree. Shut up. No. probably wouldn't play Jensen Inbergt.

Genshin Input. Genshi, whatever it is, the anime game. But you, Jim, because you've gone in, like, phases of, like, in those puzzle games and stuff on mobile, but... Yeah, I wouldn't even call those, like, games. Yeah, exactly. You get real hooked on those sheds, man. Just shit like that.

That's the thing, there. You can be addicted in the same way someone's addicted to, like, Apex Legends. There are people who addicted to like crossword apps and stuff well I never get addicted yeah that's the thing when a game is like that classic you know like crossword

or connect four crosswords are fun though crosswords are fun yeah exactly they're just like a tried and true um game sort of thing so you don't get

you don't get addicted to like the fucking loot boxes or the things you pay for yeah you do that's why they'll do it no i mean with these games that i play like connect four and shit i'm not i'm not getting packs and i'm i'm not yeah you play connect four at the moment no that was just one i used to i used to play on this connect four app even um i played tetris a little well on an app what's the one 2048. Turn 10. 10.

Yeah, 10 10. 10. Yeah. I played a... What the fuck is it called? With the cards and you got a like... Solitaire? Solitaire, yeah.

Solitaire is great. I've gone through a few. Like, yeah, you usually remind me of it and I'm, oh yeah. And I play it for a little bit. Yeah, because I remember like completing a solitaire in under a minute. It's bullshit on the app because obviously you can yeah you can like if you get like good R and G yeah but yeah presents its own it's a unique solitaire challenge so I guess yeah so yeah that that shit I find fun but

it's only when I've got like nothing else you know going on you've got nothing left exactly oh Zane creations has one for us what do you boys think of the rumored of the last of us remake though there are some technical aspects of the original game that could be improved. I'd rather see Norty Dog put that effort into a brand new project. Do you guys see this as a sign that Playstation is falling into Marvel Formula trap? Well, they've already tried to brand themselves as a Marvel thing, the Sony Game Studios.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'd say it's more of like a AAA trap where they all just turn into, well, yeah, we could experiment with kind of smaller games, but what it really boils down to is one or two franchise. is that we just milk until we can't milk it anymore. Just to clarify, the Sony Game Studios thing is because they changed their logo. They have like an opening logo sequence like Marvel has where it features what they're iconic. Yeah, which is worse, I reckon.

The old one was, I don't know, it felt really cinematic whenever a Sony game was starting. Now it just seems more. Yeah, it has a product feeling instead of like cool feeling. Yeah, I liked it and just say Sony and Sony computers. mm-hmm yeah just simple but um I didn't really understand why they were remaking this Last of Us game until I heard the idea put forward that their probably their main motivation is probably something like um fueled by the success of that Witcher show and the boost of sales they got after that show came out and with

this HBO last of us in the works they might be thinking oh we can kind of get another boost if we release the game for a third time around the same time as this HBO show so on a corporate level that's the only way I can really understand it because otherwise it's just stingy as fuck like you cut like the

they just basically want to charge for so you can play it on PS5 with the best specs um lame lame approach it's not naughty dog though is it um naughty dog uh as far as what I remember from that huge brief thing that

came out is the the days gone devs what they called sony bend they were going to be put on the last of us remake but then because naughty dog they kind of like to control their IP they took

the reins to do it internally so yeah I think this is worse than like movie shit like what they've been doing? I think they want to like package it in with the Last of Us 2 and do like the PS5 special Last of Us collection shit but

you know But if it's a remake what films get remade in I guess you could argue like all Marvel films of remakes of each other or whatever It's also a problem of like what does remake even mean? Are they gonna remake the game in the Last of Us 2 kind of graphics so there's like a consistent look to the universe you can play on like one game one experience because I could be a I can be down with that because the last of us two looks insane I mean the engine's really impressive if it looked like that that would be cool but I don't know how

realistic or feasible that would be um but also it's totally not necessary yeah no I think the last of us one is aged just fine yeah I played it recently one of my complaints with it yeah It's a waste of time. All that would be cool would just be a free update to get that frame rate as high as possible on the PlayStation and maybe the resolution too if that's not up.

It's really not that complicated, is it? The competitors aren't charging for that kind of thing. Nothing has done that. If they do it and they're really successful, it's going to set a really bad precedent. Do you remember when the PS4 and the Xbox 1 came out, it was just non-stop re-releasing shit in the 360. Remakes, obviously, because some games, they're not remasters.

There have been a number of remakes. But Sony have already done it with Ratchet and Clank, and they made it worse. And they've got that studio that's done really impressive remakes, like the Shadow of Colossus. I guess, yeah, that's a thing, but because the remake of Ratchet and Clank is a game that's from like 2002. Yeah, exactly, and Shadow of the Colossus is a PlayStation 2 game as well, isn't it? Yeah, I'm not saying that isn't remakes. I just mean, like, it's not even been like five years. Yeah, like, imagine if, like...

Oh, it has. You know, 3-4-3 were like, we're going to remake Halo 5, just like this year. Like, even Halo 1 wasn't remade after it being out for 10 years. It was remastered. Like, the game is exactly the same. Didn't need to be remade. Yeah, with the last of us, so...

I mean, Sony are the ones out that have done it a number of times. Like, already, they're sort of doing these little things. said about Spider-Man, I think, the other day and how now he has a face in the update that looks more like Tom Holland, I guess, to bring parity to Sony's investment in the Marvel universe, as well as

the games that they are now making at the Spider-Man license. Yeah, I don't like the way that games can just completely change now. So the version, like the version I play is like not the version anymore. You know, some kid like a got a PlayStation 5 and played Spider-Man

PS4. I guess you just got a different face. It's like a different thing. It's so strange. Yeah, the weirdest thing is that you could go and play Miles Morales after playing Spider-Man PS4, like when it came out. And the sequel, the person, his face will have just changed. The main character from the previous game, he is a different face now. But, yeah, it seems like they're just doing it because they can, not because it's like the right decision. I mean, yeah, it's neither.

Why would you change that because you can? Yeah, here we go, I've got one. Halo TV show comes out, and then they make it so that Steve Downs, they update Halo. All of Massachusetts lines are now voiced by that guy, his name. I don't remember, but it's not Steve Downs. Pablo, is it Pablo Schreiber? Pedyge of Pablo Shrine.

The Gears of War Five added an actor into the main character's role, or one of the main character roles, who isn't even in an upcoming movie. It's just like... It's just like funny. Yeah. At least it's optional, though. Yeah.

I mean, I'm totally fine with that. Why they went to the effort of getting that act to record lines for the whole game, I don't really understand. People had been asking for years, like, been that thing of our get Batista to be Marcus Phoenix in a Gears movie. That has been a request for some time for some reason. So, um, we had a fair few respondents right in about goonsacks, because I noticed this before, there is a surprisingly large collection of jailings specifically in Australia.

So we've got a lot of feedback about this whole goonsack bullshit. but uh rona knock one nine nine it's gonna start us off hey jar i just wanted to correct a crucial barrel comment from this week as a broke australian university student i wanted to mention that we do not call it a goon sack but a goon bag it comes in a foil bag yes but it is usually in a box with a dispenser it is cheap it is cheap shit and gives horrible hangovers but as us ozies love using it for beer pong in beer bongs and in goon roulette clipping the goon bag to a clothes line and spinning it around and whoever it lands on has to squeak. Basically, 80% of Australian culture involves being idiots in a backyard and seeing how much

cheap alcohol you can smash in a night. Also, Australians also call sweaters sloppy joes since Sloppy Joe was mentioned in a semi-recent corncast. Yeah, we're pretty weird over here. But then it doesn't end there because people, other Australian people started replying to this guy, like Jay Chadswick, who says, whereabouts are you from? In Queensland, it's definitely a sack. He says he's from NSW, so maybe it's a bit different here. And then to Dev, the hero, replied, saying it is a goon sack. So I guess it is a goonsack.

It's not going to stop me referring to it as a goons. Well, it sounds like it's kind of eyes of the beholder sort of thing. But there are two more here even. Z-Zola said, buns, rolls. Yeah. But Zola said, follow-up to a follow-up from last episode. When James joked about Australians drinking goon, cheap cask wine, from a clothesline, he was actually right. Goon of Fortune is a game mainly played by high schoolers in which a goon bag is attached to a hills hoist clothesline and spun around until it stops above someone.

And finally, BlogFawn says, Hyamingers just wanted to elaborate a bit on the whole goon-sack culture in Australia because I feel my fellow Aussies from last episode didn't quite emphasise the cultural icon that is the goon sack, especially among us uni students, at least where I'm from in Victoria, we call it a goon sack. It's more common to hear goon bag. Okay, this is kind of explaining it a bit more. It is not an understatement to say that almost every single party I've been to from year 10

has involved one or multiple goon sacks. At university parties, they would bus us to the clubs and pour goon into our mouths as we sucked the plastic teat of the sack while the bus drove, with one lucky chugger getting the remnants poured over his head in a showy, which for those who don't know is filling one's shoe sorry, shooey, it must be them.

Yeah, it's a shooey. Shooey, yeah. It's just the way it's spelled. Which for those who don't know is filling one's shoe with alcohol and chugging it until either you finish it or pour it over your head. The goon sack is so ubiquitous in

Australia that most uni students who hear the words, crispy white or fruity white, or shudder at the sound. But the goon sack is not simply an alcoholic beverage. The goon sack is the party. You play beer pong with the goon. You attach it to a spinning clothesline and try to catch the bag known as Ring Around the Goonie.

So that's another name for it. You inflate it and pop it when it's empty and all sorts of other stupid stuff. The goon sack is also known as the silver pillow. As an empty sack can be inflated and slept on like a camping pillow. Also, for those wondering, the sack does have a plastic sprout that's kind of like the ones you use on a keg of beer

honestly the wine isn't undrinkable but it does taste pretty shit I'm not joking when I say this is just a fraction of how well known the goon sack is here in Australia p.S every time I hear one of those silver every time I see one of those silver boys all I remember is James speaking about gooning

thanks gents holy fun there is goon law yeah it's just like uniculture then it's just goon That's way better than it is here Dark fruits and not even doing anything very funny with it It's drinking it

Yeah, like the fact that everyone knows about the clothesline thing Being among the goon It's part of Australian culture Yeah, I mean I'm very glad that We're being educated on this subject Kind of feel like I'm missing out You know, not having the option of a goon it does sound like

a lot of fun what's stopping us from making it a thing I mean box wine we just buy box wine take out of the box yeah it's not the same

it's not the same it is it's literally it comes in a silver bag we take out the box it's in a silver bag is it crispy white it can get some white wine you can get some cheap

you know four quid house white boom I bet uni students will fucking go to it like fucking they'd love it we'd be icons for bringing gooning to the

United Kingdom we'll get on Ladd Bible yeah epic lads are bringing gooning to the UK I'm gonna start selling it that's my business is making it's just selling gune box wine taking out of the box you're a goon importer

export it But it does sound like a terrible time Like actually, in my view The hangover part, yeah Yeah, it sounds fucking horrible But I guess it doesn't matter when it's all about the goon Oilholic has a penitment one here Who would win in an unarmed hand-to-hand combat

All of the JAR members Or a grunt from Halo Keep in mind in the novels a scared grunt literally tore open a militiaman's abdomen exposing his intestines with nothing more than his claws um we could smack a i reckon i reckon the four of us could do it yeah you just tackle it well we tackle it and then

yeah you'd tackle it and then you know there would be at least there'd be at least one to two casualties but i reckon we could take it out who gives a shit about the books yeah the shit books yeah you just go boo and then it's shit Jets itself. Yeah.

And you die a million times because you've got a bad checkpoint or something. Now, elites though. Yeah, we're fucked. Oh, yeah. Jackal sniper? That could take that easy. But a human sniper,

but it's still like, it's like a real, you know, you'd still just get killed by a human with a sniper. I don't think it matters what the thing is. Just a sniper in general. It's game over. Okay, just a jackal.

Do you think you can, fight a grunt from Halo one-on-one? Um, one-on-one. One-on-four, sorry? One-on-four. Me versus four grunt? Four of you versus one grunt. Me and an eagle versus three grunts. Shut up.

And then, um, when you take out two of the grunts, then a wolf comes in to help the last grunt. Did you see that tweet? That viable tweet not long ago that was like, you don't know what to say to a guy, just ask him what animal they can fight? I've got one. I've got one. You know, Joseph Fanderson, did you see his poll he did where it was like, who would win? Someone with a 34-inch baseball bat or something with a knife. And most of the people on Twitter think the baseball bat wielder would win. You're getting stabbed in that scenario if you're the baseball bat wielder. You're just getting slashed up and bleeding.

It depends how quickly. Are they the same size person? No, that was it. Yeah, equally sized. People are like, oh, no, they go, the bats got range. No, you're getting to. stabbed. No, it depends.

The back guy, he's got a chance, but if he fucks up, he's going to be punished. If he hits you on your head first... He's not going to, though. Like, you run at someone with a knife, and you just sort of like, you know, your arm's going to get smashed by it and it's kind of hurt, but... Because a baseball bat to the head can knock you out and go easy. If he gets that out... Now, I think the baseball bat should win.

You're wrong. You're so... Joseph Anderson, and there was someone else who just replied, I think it was Max Mofer. And it was like, yeah, it's the knife. you're right it's the knife no I think there's too many variables no no

think of it like a simulation that runs a hundred times the knife is going to win the majority of times it doesn't mean the baseball bat never wins but the knife is going to win most of the time you do have an advantage obviously yeah

it was a six inch knife that was just to just to clarify and I remember oh really six inch knife versus a 34 inch baseball bat and people for some reason thought like oh you've got range and I say what you think it's like a pike or something you're going to keep away of it

It was just a level No it's just a level playing field Just a level open Who has the high ground Oh yeah who's the high ground Oh yeah who's the high ground here Obi-one Okay

Is Obi-1 holding the baseball bat or the knife He's just watching No no he's just watching He's not like He's gooning in the corner Okay then we're in the corner Gooning my religion Speaking of Goon

plate of goon as a final one. Alex got me into Minecraft when he released his I-H-E-Is-Over video. I had no idea it could be so peaceful until I saw the parody. So I bought it with the first money I ever earned. Thanks Alex. Do you guys like Minecraft?

No. No. It's a terrible game, actually. It gives me headaches. I only play adult games. I call it duty. Yeah, it gives us all headaches as well. Minecraft is just a headache machine.

I'm waiting for them to add like a battle pass or something. addictive you know yeah yeah i can't actually make my own fun i need to have it sort of like dictated to me in some regard and and and and most of it just be based on like predatory ways of nesting into my brain you know yeah that pretty much sums up i mean just sort of a shit game all around isn't it really hmm don't like minecraft gives me headaches i like minecraft too yeah that's a good game i like fortress craft as well yeah yeah Wow.

That's all I've got, guys. As soon as fortress cross starts being mentioned, I'm out. That was Keenstiles, wasn't it? Yeah, he made his... Oh yeah. You guys have any final words? No. Um, please head to Goon, UK and place an order of Goon and I can have a ship down like tomorrow, you know.

So use to draw a code, use code, use code, to get 5% off your first order with free shipping.