JAR Media Posdact - GOONING IS BANNED - THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 09:30 Housekeeping 29:46 Gooning is Illegal 49:37 Mid Break 51:18 Our Mad 4 Story Idea 53:37 A Dangerous Suggestion 54:14 An Even More Dangerous-er Suggestion 54:56 Good Luck Charms 56:58 Which Star Wars Characters are on the Flight Logs 1:02:25 The Problem With Time 1:03:45 The Middle Core 1:06:26 Turning on Musicians 1:09:49 Dibby Suggestions 1:13:27 An Awkard Zoom Interview

What do you think poo with a dash of wee with a hint of fart is? That's my freestyle. Pooh with a dash of we. Hint of four. What's your best Will Smith impression? Psh. Yeah, just slapped you. What is this some kind of action star?

Oh, I'm a sort of quiet car. How does it seem? I love mic peeking. It's nice. There is something nice. I like it when Frank Ocean is singing and it peaks. I haven't noticed that. Which album?

Orange. On Lost at the end. He goes, Ah! Oh, right. It's like that. It hit the exact mate. I don't remember.

Yeah. Lost in the Will Smith of it all. Now Will Smith is lost. Lost. in the freestyle Lost in the incestuous Hollywood Yeah, wow I feel like this

This needs to be a more low-key type situation Agreed The last two have been Too much Too much We gotta reel it in We gotta reel it in like Will Smith at the Oscars

Yeah Just keep it calm Relaxed I wish I'd watch that one live That's still have been wild Yeah that would have been amazing Yeah So we usually start every episode with a nice

Freestyle We're trying to We're trying to up our rap game Yep Trying to become the best rappers in the county In all of Wiltshire Yeah We're already by default in second and third place

Wait who's first Uggy I love What was the Tory MP Go, which one? Ours, the Wiltshire one James Murphy

James May No, that's the Top Gear, isn't it The car guy, yeah I don't know, he doesn't deserve the He doesn't deserve the shout-out But yeah, he is good at freestyling To be fair to him

That's what they're known for Tories Yeah, they're freestyling Yeah Absolutely Absol bloody Lulu Well, good afternoon, morning, evening or night Lady and gentlemen

Each individual And alien and rockets And robots And rocks Yeah, rocks And pebbles Rocks most of all What about pebbles

That's a form of rock I would say As are sand Sands aren't rocks They are, they're just tiny These are tiny rocks You wouldn't pick up a grain of sand And say that's a rock

It's like a, it's a facetious way of saying it's a rock Look at this rock Single grain It's a single grain of rock Nah, it's no longer a rock I'm going down to the seaside And I'm gonna get some rock I do lack a bit of rock

That was the last time you had stick of rock um i've had two sticks of rock in my room for like a few years now feels a very like primary school thing yeah that i i guess you know you're an adult when like your desire for sweet isn't that you'll just suck on rock you know is it yeah it's like a stick of sugar yeah yeah you can't chew it you can't no you just put it in your mouth and wait like you're so deprived yeah and all these adults

with sugar addictions are like why is sugar so tough to kick when you're like yeah 80% of your diet when you're a growing a growing lad in the 2000s yeah

wambars and freddos oh my god whambas those sheds are good I don't yeah don't don't trash to with wambars no no no

well like I was I went to just like a a londis the other day and was looking at like some of the some of the scary stuff where they've got like a watermelon lollipop thing and it's like oh my god I look at the sugar content and it's like 70 grams of sugar like five year olds five years have their they've got their watermelon lollipop in one hand and they're juicy drop pop in the other no their bubble gum vape in the other

I swear I swear I saw literally like a five or six year old girl walking around with the vape the other day I'm just like very I was come up on the cast before but it was just like hope that's for your mama yeah Jesus go get me a bubble gum vape will you doesn't get ID'd yeah well yeah well um did I say good afternoon you said good afternoon what about morning um you didn't say morning but you did say no evening you said evening at night Oh yes Good morning

Welcome to broadcast season 4 Episode 2 No new seasons for a while We've already had the drama Now it's calmer Not karma but calmer Karma comes later Calmer calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm

Camelion Max Georgie Yeah Right, brother Brother, brother, brother Do I have an episode for you today? You don't have shit until you shout out of those fucking beautiful jar patrons Oh

Ha damn, that's a professional move Yeah, boy That's a move that only a professional would make The professionals such as are JAR patrons Who Make this show possible And all of the little extras within like getting your name read out Oh, you're just taking this from you have it

Yeah, I mean I'd say the first week of every month But that's not necessarily the case It's the first or second week Such as this month where it will be the second week Because we'd save them and build up Yeah, yeah We like we're hoarders We enjoy amassing goods like my cupboard of sweeties

Yeah There's also so many goodies Such as the Jaffter hours Yeah, the supplementary show Yeah There are some good ones on there I've got the list here So I don't have the list

So I kept forgetting to shout out Diary of a Farting Creeper Oh of course That was a video I filmed in 2022 or 2023 Can I just shout out one? Sure My favourite title

Pays to Lose Chance Yeah No explanation as to what that is Last week we did The South Park Trump episode Which was really good And I had a meaty Conversation

about that whole thing attached to the end of it we'll have a bit more of a lighthearted one attached to this episode but no spoilers there was the Ben Shapiro Superman review the Superman proper review

as they say 28 years later I propagate anything Adventure Time Hater becomes Leica and more and more and more and more the Snyder song has gone live

so now everyone gets it stunning it's getting very good reactions so far people are saying it's one of the best jar videos ever in fact wow yeah it's i keep going back to it um just one smack yeah well it turned out to be so many smacks so many just one smacks um and penultimately there's the jar media group chat which is a group chat of course where jarlings can talk and recommend things so bring them up on housekeeping shortly and last thing

I kind of put together a question everything Learn Nothing shirt and put it on the store Just as simple as possible It's literally just the words Buy it Yeah Hell yeah I'm going to Yeah

That's not what you think Absolutely A bit of this bit of that You can get sticky You can get a mug Whatever you need To spread that normal kind of feeling Yeah

We'll make Britain normal again Make Britain more normaler than ever before Make Britain the most normal it's ever been If there's one thing that Britain isn't It's normal Ordinary We're doing our best but it's difficult Vrage

Yeah And I know that I'm an action star I know the time are normal Nice Yeah Right Let's shift like we're changing gear on a big one

We've just been in first gear doing an intro Now we're going into second Or in my car Bubbles Pony 1 Can't get us going here Off the Jarm Media Group chat I need to know If Kirby ate to each of the jar animals

What power up would he get What would Paisley get Apart from a chance Should get one chance I think it would be like a debuff. It would be like, um... Paisley the Golden. What's her, what's her main character attribute?

Insecure. Make her scared and like... Yeah. If it was in Smash, for example, you would just like run off the stage. It would like take control and just, you know, you just lose a stock just like that. Uh-huh. Um, Argy? Um...

Oh man Let's keep it in like smash It's smash I can That's our frame of reference for most things It's Super Smash brothers Yeah Um What's Hockey's greatest

Attribute or main attribute Being cute I guess like um Like his eyes go like No I'd say it's more his bark And the like the stun locking ability um like you press the action button yeah and then it like

high-pitch annoying bark and he does the howl thing though yeah yeah yeah and it stuns everyone and then it makes like left right and right left on their controls yeah oh that's a good one and i guess finally uh billy billy the black cat um Chicken Steeler. Like a head bite or something. She'd always bite the heads off of things. Oh, right. That's the old meal.

That's meal 1.0. Yeah. So I guess that's like absorbing dark pit and light pit, current billy. Are they in separate character slots? Yeah. Stupid. And dark sammas and normal sammas. But then...

How did they even consider? conceptualized, like, young link as well. Well, that was because they wanted every previous version of every character in the game. But I mean, like, I don't know which the, which was the first time Young Link manifested. The original, right? It was post-Ochrena of time. And he was called Young Link in it. No, he was just called Link in that, but that is a Young Link compared to, like, current Link. I'm hyped for the Zelda movie.

It's going to be fine. It's going to be awesome. I'm really upset about it. Live action. Because Sidney Sweeney isn't playing Zelda, which is fucked. Sydney Sweeney should play everybody. Yeah, Sydney Sweeney should be Link and Gannendorf. I saw Derek Savage thirsting over Sydney Sweeney on the Corker account.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Apparently people have hating on her now. But whatever. Because she's in like adverts for jeans. And she sold her like a bath water or something in the form of soap for Dr. Squanch. I don't know. What?

You know Dr. Squanch? Is that like Rick and Morty? No, it's like a soap seller. They make soaps. Do you never get the adverts? Dr. Squantch. I do everything in my power to avoid adverts. I guess.

I watched a documentary yesterday on Channel 4. about Rick and Morty about Bonnie Blue Do you know she is? Oh God, yeah Yeah, I watched a Foreign Man and a Foreign Land video Or Foreign Friday's video about her

Yeah Maybe if I, Sydney, Sweeney was doing that Maybe I'd understand it a bit more Going and hanging out with Andrew Tate She went in a... I didn't know about that Yeah And in the documentary

the I don't know the name of whoever was interviewing her but they were like would you F Andrew Tate she was like yeah and someone in the background was like

there's not a single person she wouldn't F okay I mean yeah true yeah like she pretty much already has yeah

I don't even want to give context you can find out about who that is on your own if you don't know already you probably yeah we'll save your Fucking Gooner if you're listening to this. Save yourself. It's annoying. I can't watch her content anymore without a full body scan

from the UK government. Put a pin in that because that's going to be coming up shortly. Travis King says, not a question, but just wanted to say that your reaction to the Zach Snyder song by Fuck Gunn has become one of my favorite jar videos. I've watched it multiple times and it makes me crack up each viewing.

So glad to see it finally uploaded to YouTube, I've been saying just one smack for months. now thank you jar oh yeah just one smack everyone loves it and now because the original post on Reddit has been deleted it's like a bit of history we've got it there protected history we've dug up some like old Reddit goal that karma is ours yeah um angry KFC employee yes I'm still mad at Jim says if you had to get a QR code tattooed on your body what would it link to and where would you put it? Fredo.

Fredo? Yeah, Fredo. No, that would be a barcode, a QR code for a website. Oh, right, I've already done that joke on Char a bunch of times. I've just generated QR codes to YouTube videos. The normal episode. Yeah, yeah, you can't be that answer. Normal episode QR code, tattoo.

Or just a website with the guy running away from the rhino. I've seen a few good, like, shorts of people who get the barcode and they go to, like, a self-scan and scan it and then like buy a Red Bull? Yeah I've seen someone do that Yeah pretty cool Apparently it's one of the most requested tattoos

What Red Bull barcode Just a barcode Really? Everybody wants a barcode Like a custom one Yeah I guess It's scannable barcode That's pretty fire Just like some of these comments

There's some good ones Infrills says What's even the point if Baby Rick isn't on the cast? Um, I asked myself that question once ever, which was just now in my head. You hadn't forgotten about my little baby boy, had you?

No, but this is only the second one without him. I know, it doesn't feel the same, does it? There's an adjustment period. Yeah, it's like the status quo has shifted. Like the, um, the, the, the, the, the, the power hierarchy in the DC universe has kind of shifted. in the J.R. universe. Mino Minecraft 3R. 87 said, watch the podcast in the background and an ad played that was just smashing glass and screaming.

Thought the firefighters had come back to finish the job. And the Crash Punk said, I'm waiting for baby Rick's My Response video now. You're going to have to... Wait, like 18. Give it like 18 years, yeah. Or less when you were like... Didn't they lower the age for something?

to like when you can officially have an account I can't remember if it's YouTube or Twitter something like that now babies are legally allowed to use Twitter True social yeah Lower that age for For tea rump Or blue sky remember that

Blue sky that's still going right Yeah for the five people that use it Isn't it just for like journalists and shit Kind of. They're like desperately clinging on, but I really don't think anyone's going to care. Yeah, I mean, let's just, uh, let's, let's fucking admit. Social media, more like anti-social media. Thank you. Someone's finally said it. Let's, let's admit it. Um, hell, hellol, Pose 7 EQ says, I genuinely think I'm going to hate this episode.

Okay. They didn't, like, update it, like, after the fact. They just, I guess they, like, clicked on the thumbnail. And the episode was just called like, they took him. And they immediately said that. Valid, fair. Isaac Colin says, the way Alex

pronounced my home city, Melbourne, as Melbourne, was so effed up. Just upset every Melbourne jarling, lull. Dude. Listen, I've said

thousands. if not tens of thousands, if not millions, if not tens of millions of words over the decade plus that I've said things on the internet. I'm going to make mistakes, many mistakes. I'm not above that. You try it, man. Especially when they're spelled like that. How would you say that?

Melbourne. I've heard of Melbourne before. I had as well. But, yeah, I get where you're coming. I challenge you to go around a bunch of these local towns here, local towns and villages. try and pronounce them properly. Oosy-duci-ducy-sign.

I don't know. Cliff Pipered. But also it's like when I'm reading something, I'm just breaking it down into base words, you know? Like I'm not even like contextualizing it half the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mind is thinking about Laboos in the background. That's like 90% of my bandwidth. And then the rest is like trying to read whatever's on screen.

Then I try and do the building blocks to make it make sense. my head genuinely I'm like 3D rendering the the milk carton falling over like Patrick yeah I'm doing like fluid dynamics

like calculations in my mind for milk falling over I'm sort of doing physics simulations complex ones yeah like angry birds um ratatitude Some of these names are just nuts.

I'm just not even going to read the numbers. Jarr, the most likely planet to have life in the solar system is Europa. It is a moon of Jupiter. It's about quarter... Not planet then, is it, you fucking idiot. It's about a quarter of the size of Earth, yet you may yet may have saltwater ocean that may be 100 to 150 kilometers deep,

though underneath 10 to 15 kilometers of ice and contain twice as much water as Earth. There is evidence that Europa has geeseers, guises, meaning that it is geologically active. The water from these geysers geysers could also be sampled to check for life

from the subsurface ocean. Little guys, little baboos swimming around in there. That's where they found them. Yeah, that's where laboos came from. I mean, that would be fun if there were little like worms in there. Little worms, like the worms from men in black. Hey!

Yeah. No, what would be the lamest alien to find? Like the like an alien that's from pop culture that we already know well no like just a thing like something that's on this planet and we we finally find aliens and it's just one of them a mosquito mosquito larvae but they yeah a lava island the red one that would be awesome how exciting would that be yeah they get it under a microscope and it farts and goes Yeah, that would be cool. On a similar note,

Klager says it takes 5 to 20 minutes for the Mars rover to receive an instruction and it takes 10 to 40 minutes for NASA to receive confirmation that the action has been performed. Time variance is relative to the position of Earth and Mars in their orbits. It's still speed of light though. That answers that question, man.

That's cool. It's like playing with like really bad internet. Yeah, I guess. You know, got that high latency Yeah, they got lag My ping is just so bad That's why I'm playing badly Do you think the

The speed of light is like Like the render distance Kind of Yeah Too slow for Sonic the Hedgehog though It's like actual loading speed Reloading? Do you know what I mean though?

No Yeah, whatever I really only have mind for a booboos, not really signs. Charlie Bordman says Jim should read All-Star Superman. It's Max Landis' favorite. I'll never read that.

Why do you ruin it so quick? The thing is, with All-Star Superman, um... I think his chin might be too big. He needs a big chin. He needs to, like, be chin-chin guy I might be wrong about yeah where he's like sat on the side with his chin chin

yeah that's nice I like big chin Superman it's just a little bit excessive he looks like a blockhead golden ooh when you put it like that I love a blockhead golden yeah he's kind of supposed to be a golden right yeah he's definitely golden

but yeah that I'm planning on I've got that in my can you get like a nice hard cover of it? I don't tend to buy hard covers because they're too expensive. You got a couple of nice Batman ones, right?

They're paperback. Maybe I'm getting the terminology mixed up. Hard is like when it's hard. When you can't like... Really? When you can't wiggle it. Oh, no, you want that wiggle factor. Like my Superman one. No, not super. Spider-Man one.

Okay, yeah. No, I'm just using the wrong terminology because I haven't picked up a book in maybe what, 20 years? Being dumb is respectable Shall I quick go through the The Superman ones I want Because I also want Oh you got a list

Yeah I've got a list of like comics I want Oh I didn't actually screen Uh shot them So I can't give credit to whoever recommended them But they recommended Absolute Batman But specifically more so absolute

Martian Manhunter Oh shit, okay They said that one is absolutely fire And the Jen needs to add it to the list So definitely get that on the list Martian manhunter That was like a bit of a rogue like Okay

Yeah But when I hear it it's like Yeah Okay Deal Yeah Um So for Superman

From From what I've been told All Star Superman is there Um birthright Exile Uh For all seasons Death and return of Superman

Yeah I haven't heard of some of these Whatever happened to the man of tomorrow Whatever happened to baby Rick The man who has everything Kingdom Come, man of steel Superman Smashes the clan

Superman Is that like what I think it is I don't know Because I'm pretty sure that actually happens In a comic Really? Yeah It could well be Because I've

I've spelled it that way I think this I think this might have actually been Copy paste from like a list I found And Superman Rebirth by Peter Tomassi and Patrick Gleason That's a shame they had to make him political nowadays Yeah

Oh day Yeah Thanks for the Rex If you got anything else for Jim He's more of a DC guy nowadays So don't even give him Marvel No, criticise the ones I've written down Like if there are any there that I shouldn't read

Then I won't Because like I do need a filtering system I've got no idea, like... Yeah. Where to start and stuff. Just learning. Yeah. It's okay to learn.

In terms of Marvel, if it's not Spider-Man, like, what the fuck? I'm sure there's some good, like, Axeman runs. Yeah. Hunt Kelly. You know? I just don't give a shit. Um,

Gabby says, funny enough, my daughter Hazel was born last week. week, congrats. The same day Ozzy died and Aquaman was born. My friends keep joking that she is Ozzy reincarnated. I guess we'll see if she starts biting bats.

Also, speaking of Crocs, I was recently with my family at the local zoo here in Queensland, Australia. Is that how you say it? I'm down here in Queensland, um, Australia. Queensland, no. That's by a creek.

We looked at one of the crocodiles and the exhibit sign read that he was isolated because he killed two of his girlfriends and tried to kill a third before they put her with another crock a true fuck boy if i've ever met one damn he's all about the pome you know i've i've got to stop saying pumb because i've been saying it um too much too liberally yeah really yeah yeah i don't think i've ever heard you say pomm no because you know i like test things out before i unleash yeah yeah yeah it hasn't been unleashed yet right and it's one that can't be no because i was like combining it with like you know like the

italian brain rot stuff italian brain rot you don't know that meme those memes excuse me sorry you know with like the ballerina what the fuck are you talking about pumb ballerina i don't i don't know bro i don't know life is but a dream Life could be dream Yeah, that's high feel But the last comment We move into a topic here Very painfully average said

The baby Rick bit isn't very funny Sorry Okay I'm glad for you Other people's lives can be seen to be Funny and entertaining Or boring and disinteresting Like that's cool for you

But some people That's like lifelong trauma That you're like saying isn't very fun so yeah nice one dude way to bring the fucking mood down yeah thanks for ruining thanks for ruining this episode but bacon chicken 42 so I'd found the kidnapper the fireman why'd always like that you know like old internet like terminology is just like so so cringy you know epic bacon stuff like that for some one that is eternal is when you have

chicken in it to me like chicken's always funny chicken is always funny yeah chicken jockey do you think that's why it latched onto it yeah because it's like eternal

chicken is always funny yeah I guess am I wrong no that's my least woke opinion is how I feel about chickens okay I feel the same way about chickens

though really yeah want a body slam them I'm happy I'm glad they die. Chicken tonight, everybody will be eating all the chicken tonight. Everybody will be eating all the chicken tonight.

Everybody will be eating all the chicken tonight. So by far the most sort of written in topic was this online, the anti-gooner act. Let me read these introductions. Darth jar, jar, jar, ha, ha, said thoughts on the anti-gooning law. the fisherman's plight said thoughts on the online safety act and two dev the hero said hello thoughts on the UK's new online safety act if you somehow haven't heard it's designed to protect children from content deemed violent hateful or sexually explicit by requiring users to upload their ID to access it does the end justify the means is it a good idea but poorly implemented or is the whole thing a case of government outreach that should never have gone ahead bear bear jar jar and then alisopi replies that saying please mr government let me look at porn yeah um i don't know if we agree on this or not i have like various conflicting thoughts just from myself alone because we had a bit of a discussion about it last week um on its face it's very um you know that character in the simpsons it's always like think about the children yeah

yeah um i don't on paper have an issue about trying to restrict illicit material going into the young uh minds of children like we brought this up in our conversation like the stuff we will see when yeah 12 or young like it's easy easier than ever i guess to see like horrifying stuff yeah which it which i think is is anyone going to disagree that that's like a bad thing yeah i i think that stuff should be very very um i think it's stupid though to introduce in 2025 um this kind of legislation when it's like it's like a band-aid just on top of so many wounds it's like well you left it so long and at this point it's like a global problem and we're using technology that's global

this it would need to be some kind of global agreed upon set of rules i feel yeah but just it being the uk government's like well so you're just putting us like you're making us let you're making us look like do you remember how absurd it was when we heard that like left for dead two was like banned in Australia yeah so there's there's a zombie of blood on it you know yeah oh my god there might see a foof they might see something nasty like it's a bit I think it's stupid personally um that I saw a lot a lot of screenshots of like the um the front page of Rule 34 the like porn website yeah yeah they're all drawn stuff um and it's like

blocked in the UK now and just like when you go on the home page it says like yeah I guess drawn porn is also like banned and like the the amount of work we'd have to put in to implement like an ID check system and all of this just is not even worth us doing so another important part that we touched on in our discussion before which is probably to me the most important part is um like where do you draw the line when does something become porn yeah because that that line is like in a different place for different people and like we can agree that I mean like there's a lot of like really explicit shit obviously people will

agree upon but then there's the stuff like the the only fans models advertising on something yeah like Bonnie what's I name Bonnie blue has like a TikTok yeah so then it's like a TikTok yeah so then it's like But TikTok's not banned. You don't have to put your idea on that too. Yeah, and I'm not like advocating for that, but there's there's like nuances to it that I feel like haven't been thought through. And if, if, um, if you're trying to stop like the, the exposure to sexual stuff and the, um, like introducing sexual stuff to kids. Yeah. Then There's no better gateway drug

Than social media Than Instagram, then TikTok, then Twitter, um Then YouTube shorts. I was I never used...

The adverts, the adverts alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never use Instagram, right? The main thing I use Instagram for is for finding Lego leaks.

People are the like leak like sets that are coming out. Right. They leak like pictures of the boxes and stuff right but because of that you know when you go to your explore or whatever and it just recommends stuff um and it was all like Lego related but in that mess was like these thumbnails of like these this woman of like the tightest jeans you've ever seen pointing her ass towards the camera like with a big Lego box so it's like advertising it two kids and it's like well so I guess

that's fine. Yeah. It's really goofy to me, but it also gets weird. There's so many layers of stupidity to me where it's like, okay. So then you've got to upload either a picture of your passport or your driving license to some private tech company from a different country and just trust that they can store that securely. And the guna list doesn't just get, like, leave with all these people's faces.

Also, people have already figured out, I can just buy a, VPN, like VPN sales have just gone through the rules. Also, you have an option. You can upload a picture of your ID or do a face scan thing. And people have been like getting pictures of Kia Stama and just scanning like pictures of like his face to like bypass it. Or just like going on Google images and just searching generic driving license or AI generating them. AI generator. And then just like using that picture just as a way to bypass it. So it. It's I think it's a completely absurd and then there's a waste of money basically Yeah a waste of time government resources just stupid and then on top of that

The people it hurts I think is the most important thing you should look at first The way it's affected LGBT communities Sort of drug content if you look at like all these like drug related Like addiction subredits and stuff like that you can't go on anymore Without like putting ID in and stuff like that How does it affect LGBT differently? But for the same reason, certain subredits and stuff like that are now like, yeah, they're considered anything considered not safe for work. And because it's not just the realm of porn.

There's also, it mentioned like violent imagery. Conveniently, that includes anything to do with ongoing conflicts in the world, which then means, oh, it's a, you can only see it if you feel like, if we have your. Right. Yeah. I find it very weird, way too far, personally. Yeah, I think it's... This is the thing, like, I'm not against, um, the internet being controlled.

Like, I, I, I think you have to be crazy to think otherwise, genuinely. Like, because we already have some. Right. Because if, if, um, if we were cool with total freedom on the internet, everyone would be on, like, the dark, web you know yeah all of that stuff would be accessible to everyone but it technically is though like you can easily get on the dark web i guess you just need to know how yeah but it's it's not like um the it's it's not the internet to the average person right no and just through it being

not like exposed there ordinarily then it's people have to take the extra steps which they're not going to do um but my point being like we shouldn't be able to access anything and everything i think i think like journalists and stuff should be able to do what they do and like does that mean to read an article about Gaza about ukraine about Sudan you're going to have to like scan your face and give like i don't know in an article too cool because they sometimes will have like a video or whatever yeah so then would but definitely on Twitter or uh Instagram what about BBC like BBC news like when they're talking about like people who are like killing children and stuff like like where do you draw these lines and then

um it's a bit it's you've opened Pandora's box and not it's not like it was just a recent thing either it was decades ago you open that box yeah and like you you need like a global uniformity or at least Silicon Valley to agree to some kind of rules which isn't gonna happen because it was all built in America yeah so it's gonna be built off this like a sort of free speech absolutism type thing and like the you can either have anonymity or not really like because you just have there are so many layers of trust you have to have when it's like okay you can't be anonymous online anymore how do you can't be anonymous online anymore how do you do you do that through some kind of government body that you have to trust with your private information i guess um yeah i don't know because at the same time like do you trust Zuckerberg with your id do you trust Elon Musk with your no no that's not what i'm saying but i do think um that's the application though practicality of like i don't know if there's another way we could link ID to online

stuff um because uh i don't think privately accessing porn was ever like a a right a thing people did before the internet you know like obviously when you looked at it you'd be private but there were barriers as the difference before like you had porno mags but you had to like go into you had to buy it off of someone. You have to go into a shop. Yeah. Or, like, get someone to buy it for you or whatever. So there were barriers in the same way. Getting booze has barriers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, it maybe should kind of stay that way. Like, you can watch your porn, but, like... And I agree, like, in theory, but I don't understand how you implement that. Like, it's important. I feel like you have, you would have had to have built that from the ground up that way. I think it goes to show how, like, the...

internet was just kind of an accident you know and like everything all legislation everything has just been catching up to like yeah yeah because all the ancient people who don't really use it are making the rules for it that's why you see this kind of implementation yeah which is stupid out of touch and a waste of everybody's time and just makes the UK look even more of so than it already does online yeah and with with everything like going on in the UK um really really stupid yeah i don't know why so much bandwidth was put towards this at all who was asking for this and it's and it's universally universally unpopular too yeah so it's like let's just totally fuck labor's optics let's just hand the next vote the next election to reform

yeah because they're already saying like we're gonna undo it yeah yeah well well done labor you're on a roll you're on a fucking roll optics role idiots genuinely fucking morons. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it would only have meaning if it was coming from America, frankly. The people who like make it. Yeah, and the fact that, like, the MAGA right is pro, this kind of thing, makes me question... Right.

Any implementation of it, you know? Like, what's the motive the... You know, is it because it's like a step type... closer to um control um well say yeah do you do you want russian or chinese internet like is that what you want i don't want that i mean but in a sense i also don't want to be bombarded with uh like heinous shit all the time you know yeah i agree with that but i feel like that's more it's been built that way it's been built to maximize engagement yeah yeah for like profit reasons um it's unfortunately

live in a world where that is valued over anything ethical or we live in a part of the world where that is valued because like that I guess that isn't the primary purpose of the internet in these other countries but like are you going to tell me that like Russian and Chinese people aren't looking at porn no and I'm sure there's they've got their own porn and stuff and like it's like it's similar to like the drug problem right where it's like when you demonize and push people towards having to go to dealers you just make everything more dangerous surely yeah yeah well no because like have the porn be accessible you know yeah but you do have to go through the process of it being like like you're buying it you know i think

it's free like it's been free yeah people but pay for like only fans or whatever and like the whole like the reason the internet is as big as it is because of like porn stuff basically like yeah yeah isn't it like 50% of like usage online is is porn activity it's the driver of like every thing it's just like so yeah i yeah i find it a bit weird when it can be especially if it's like a puritanical reasoning um yeah for sure and the crossover is quite unfortunate i guess um being being anti goona yeah is it like i do think that's uh not very good for the mind but I promise you this way of implementing it is not

getting rid of a single guna no no not one no all gooners but maybe it prevents one from being born it might prevent a guna bond I don't know because like you just go on Instagram and just look at Lego content and you've got

fresh goon material for days I guess I guess yeah like actually aimed at children like babies it's worse Getting in them young. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Because at least, like, with the disturbing stuff we saw, it was on, like, it was the website era then. It was, like, Gore sites. It was, like, specific porn sites. You weren't really seeing that stuff in the same way on Facebook or whatever, like you are now. No. They hadn't, like, fine-toed the algorithms to have, like, whatever is going on now. But that, that is so fucked up that, like, you.

Yeah, it's... Facebook is showing that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, like, every now and again, there would be like a... Don't look on Facebook. There's like an awful video or something. Um...

But it's definitely different. Yeah, now it's like... People are sending those awful videos to each other. Yeah. This fuck shit. Uh-huh. Building communities around it. Yeah.

Join my telegram for, uh... My secret community of nasties. Yeah, I don't know, bro. It's, uh... It's fucked. Stupid? Yeah. Because I've been, like, hanging on by a thread of, like, seeing, um... The way the UK has talked about online in a lot of ways.

Yeah. Um, because it's definitely blown out of proportion that, like, make a joke go to jail thing. Um... Like, the way that's talked about online, especially by Americans that've never been here. Never spoken to anyone from the UK about it. Yeah, there are some, like, absurd examples. guess um but acting like it's we're a totalitarian state um is a bit is ridiculous um because it just just notice all the people that use that as like a talking point whenever i've seen like clips of

american politicians using the UK as an evidence of like um you know it just gives them more fuel basically these like awful people yeah when they see an act like this which is stupid and every everyone one in the public case they there was even a petition that has gone through had enough signatures to be looked at by parliament it's just been poo poohed and like yeah we're not planning to undo this or whatever and it's like cool well people are calling um kia kia starlin no because of this stuff and it's like it's like as wrong as they may be like he's done this to himself like he's he's made his optics this way um yeah i feel like the implementation of something is like so important even if like there is

maybe a nugget of truth in the heart of it of like yeah we don't want kids to see awful stuff but it's like it's not as simple as the world that we've been thrust into against all of our wills that frankly this government all the world governments have ushered in with glee because it makes him so much money yeah so like i don't know what like parents and whatever were supposed to do. It's like, well, it's up the parents' responsibility. I'm like, I don't know, man. Like,

what are they supposed to do? About, like, the TikTok guna rhythm and the Instagram gooner rhythm. They're way more powerful than, like, what any parent can say. No, they, yeah, it's such a surface level, basic understanding they have of all these

systems that, um, yeah, we, we, the thing is, we're never going to get, like, tech people in government because why the fuck would they like that yeah you can't make money from government no money and they're they're actually more powerful now like the governments have to like take a knee to the private companies because they're so powerful yeah the the like tech oligarchs are

like parliament they they they're they make rules and whenever like they are interrogated by governments it's like the most hilariously out of touch just like it's embarrassing it's embarrassing every time ask them the questions that actually fucking matter yeah that they started like such a base level it's like so how does bluetooth actually work yeah no one of them was like does ticot access your home Wi-Fi network yeah well and he's like yeah that's how that's the internet and like he's clearly upset by the answer he's like he's clearly upset by the answer he's like, see, you are stealing our information. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh-huh. It's fucked up. Yeah. God damn it, man. This shit getting goofyer by the day. Anyway, now over to our sponsor, NordVPN. Yeah.

I guess we'll see you off to these messages. Yeah. What's up JAR Media? and Joyer as a new height merch drop is inbound. Question everything. Learn nothing. Hit to the store. You silly billies.

Yeah. Let's go. He's so cool. I like BBLs. What a bar. How old is he? To guess. 50.

From someone who's made a song like that. 56. I think the oldest someone should be who's made a song like pretty girls should be... 19. I was going to say 18. Oh, okay. Yeah. By the time you're 20, you need to cut that out.

He's 56. That's what I said, right? I said 56. I didn't catch what you. Pum! Let's go. I like pumpum girls. Dude.

Jesus Christ. Wow. Well, welcome to the second half of the cast. Where we answer some questions, but first, if you got this far, comment, Oh, right, well, that's okay. I'm sorry. I understand.

Okay. Um, yeah, we answer questions from the suggestion thread over from the JAR Media subreddit. R slash JARMedia, if you didn't know. Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Get Up Dutes. Get it. Get up dudes. And maybe a hint of karma to boot.

Bjornow Pizza is going to get us going here. Would you rather, A, gain the Epstein files, B, gain a file that goes over every bad thing the royal family has ever done. Or C, be hired to write and direct Madagascar 4 with full creative direction. I'm going to C. What about you there? If you go C and I go A, and then we can weave

God, you're just taking that right Great minds think alike, brother Yeah, that could be like the plot It's like, um, more and King Julian have the Epstein files And they're like No, I'm thinking like you more Like make each character an allegory

For someone who's in the Epstein files Oh no, like King Julian should be the Epstein Like standing Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure And like maybe I feel like What's a Chris Rock's character

called again? Marty? Yeah. Marty figures out some kind of clue that King Julian is up to something no good. Yeah.

Mortis Gislein. Yeah. They can have like an interrogation scene Alex and Marty team up there. Yeah. Interrogate more Morise's on the side.

Maurice is the one who like comes clean and he's like look I can't I can't stand by him anymore you know. He comes clean to Gloria. Or no, that or he's

Prince Andrew. or Trump no he's too he's like got his head screwed on doesn't he not the Prince Andrew and then what's the comedic like side plot was like Melman goes there by accident to the island

Melman's on the flight lot yeah and the penguins are the ones that go in and take it down oh my god yeah they're like the CIA FBA or it's revealed that they were the ones behind the whole thing

just one of them The other ones can't. They're too good. No, if they're like, if they're an allegory for like CIA F.O. They covered it up. Yeah. They're like trying to not let the public now.

Yeah. God, that would be incredible. What amazing film we just wrote. I want Madagascar 4 to come out and I want it to be that. If it's not that, I'll be disappointed. Yeah, same. Leroy and Stitch says, Dear Jim and Alex, I know you are very sad about losing baby Rick.

Perhaps you could light your house on fire. If the wee little baby has joined the firefighters, maybe they'll bring him along to help you could... To help, and you could see your baby one last time. Bear, bare, and farewell to baby Rick. What do you think of that idea? Quite clever. Yeah.

No, not bad, not bad at all. Not bad at all. Got to invent fire, though. True And wheels We'll come after Owen Thunderguns 31 says hello jar

I want to suggest a new version of the CBT format As a member pointed out Before CBT can have negative sexual connotations So here's my suggestion Instead of CBT You should do futa For fine, unimpressed, tough and awesome

I think this is a better format Since it avoids innuendo and keeps the pod clean and family friendly like we all know and love thoughts? Fuck you fuck you up the ass, Peter

the pum fuck you twat asshole Peter No Project 593 says Hello Jim Alex

Do either of you have any good luck charms You keep on you By Jim Alex I keep my nine mill on me That's a good good good luck charm. Yeah. Streets killed me. Fuck.

Um, no. Do you? At all times, um, I have one of those, you know, those like remote control vibrators? Yeah. Someone's got the remote. I like hand it to, I don't know. Someone who works in the supermarket. supermarket. Just activate this when you feel like it, I say. And you walk off. Yeah.

Wow, good luck's hitting right now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not really a charm kind of guy. No. My skin. Your skin? That's my good. luck I keep my skin what you keep a fresh bit of skin in your pocket no I can't forget I've got a skin tag on my like on the inside of my elbow that I keep I don't cut it off with some I keep my producer tag in my pocket really yeah

producer tag huh what's that you know what a producer tag is Like, um, hey, it's me, Pum-pum. Pum to-pum. Yeah. Pum-pum on the beat. Yeah. You must have something. A little dily of sorts.

No. I give up. I give up. You'll give up. I feel like Jaja would have been on the Epstein logs. Also by accident. Boss Nass there intentionally. Come with me, Jajar.

Oh, well, Paisley liked that one. If you bring up Jar Jar or Boss Nass, she just comes to running. What is that one? Should we do Star Wars characters that did and didn't... Starz characters that were on the logs? That went to... They were on the logs and or at the island. Well, why not just simplify it to the flight logs?

I guess the flight logs are quite broad So we can do flight logs But let's just say guilty though Guilty and on the flight logs Okay Right Vader Actually you know I guess you need to

Like Jar Jar Jar on the flight logs Not guilty Yes that's what I mean Right yeah yeah okay You can break it down by that Wotto Because to me like flight logs Isn't inherently guilty

But Island is Right Do you know what I mean Wato's been he's on the he's a regular he still goes the techno

union army guy you came right in for the like big ones the ones everyone's gonna say he Adamandy he he in law

has a harum really but in law like I'm not even joking yes okay But is he loyal to that, Haram? Yeah.

Okay. It's mandated because he's so rare. His species is dying out. Oh, okay. Let's go. Yeah. I guess he... He has his own island.

He doesn't need the... Yeah. Has he been on the flights, though? I'm going to say no. Okay. Yeah, I'll agree with that. He doesn't need to. Yeah.

Yeah. What about... Yadol. Plow Coon. Plow Coon, yeah. Yeah, he's been. Boss Ness we said has been. Boss Nass, no doubt.

Jarger at his side. Yeah. Anakin Darth Vader, right? I feel like Anakin episode three did go. Right. Island or just flight. It's part of why he turned to the dark side is because when he was young Annie, slave Annie.

Oh, yeah. He was on the island but not there by choice. Right, fuck. All starting to make a lot more sense. that, isn't it? Yeah. George. And so,

Palpatine? 100%. Both. Really? Yeah, 100%. Especially as guards as well. You know, those guys. Yeah, the red ones.

No, not the red ones. Those other ones. They're like old people. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're like blue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't even know their names.

Wow. They were definitely, though. Yeah, for sure. And Stephen Hawking. Yoda he's had a few hundred years I reckon he had a few flights but not guilty

yeah not guilty but he went on a few flights he had some achy bones he needed massages and that I'm gonna throw a side swipe specifically the deep fake version of Luke from Mandalorian

he lives there that's very joke baby Yoda Yeah, yeah, that's for sure Man Not a laughing matter, really You laugh so you don't Pum-pum cry Who's even laughed

The truth? Chewy Chubacca's been on a flight Hans Solo The Smuggler He is quite a woman He's like one that's like, really, man? Yeah, yeah.

Not you. Yeah. Yeah. Princess Leia. I reckon on a flight. On a flight, but not guilty. Yeah. Darth Mall.

Darth Mall. Ooh. I think he was, he was island, no flight. He kept it on the down layer. Yeah. Yeah. He just flew there, you know, like they fly. with the spinning in rebels

when they spin the ice he just flew to the island yeah yeah Obi-one Obi-one he was on flight for sure

I don't think he islanded yeah there's no way yeah wow yeah this could be its own segment yeah

this could be any like CBT variants like like collect of characters. It's so dark. Yeah, it's fucked, man. It's fucked.

Which breed of dinosaurs are tinted? Jeffrey Epstein's Island. Trocerotopes on the flight logs. Archaeopteryx. He definitely was there. Yo. Loptical has one for us. Ever think about time?

You are recording the podcast. your present which is the future to us jarlings when the jarlings listen to the cast in their present it will be your past the question is a quantum super position up until it reaches your future slash present wherein Alex determines whether or not it will be asked aloud thus creating an alternate universe where it is slash isn't read aloud this has happened for almost 10 years now for every single question ever asked on the cast the jar cast ties past present and future future together. Musings? You're wrong.

Why? That's assuming that you're making a choice. Ah. Why is there an assumption that you could have ever made another choice? Every single time I pick the left or right nostril a new dimension is formed. A new bugger is... from a quantum nostril is suction from the... Portal opens and a future version of me,

comes out, says, no, pick the right nostril. Left cheek, left cheek. And not an alien, TBH says time. We all have time. That's time when we thought they. Usurp Noodle says, hello boom boom smackers. I think the quote that Alex was trying to remember in the previous episode regarding the sun turning around and speaking goes something like this. What if you tunneled down into the center of the earth and the middle core turned around and said,

finally you're mine it's definitely not exactly what Alex said but I specifically remember him saying middle core to refer to the earth's core and finally you're mine this is because it was such a bizarre concert to me but I also kind of understand where Alex was coming from

perhaps JAR episode finder and other Jarlings can help clarify to unearth the truth that sounds right that immediately started giving me memories tunneled down to the centre of the earth and the middle core turned around.

I like that. I really like that. I like that a lot. Okay. Do you know, I was reminded of the other day. Do you remember the 4chan banana? The 4chan banana? Yeah.

It's like a really corny picture of like a CG banana that's taking its skin off and he's holding it looking really sheepish. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. I don't screech off from a... From what? From a Facebook exchange with someone who'd posted it. And then in the replies.

The guy who uploaded it was like... Gave this other dude permission to save it. Right. What was he upset that it'd been shared without his... I'm just going to show you it. Yeah, there's a whole know-your-me page about it. It's just called Naked Banana. You remember this?

Oh shit, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's nice. That is nice. Why did that come to your mind? What are we talking about? The middle core that turned around. I don't know, because I often,

specifically from that meme I really like that absolutely bizarre phrasing of I really really really like this image repeating it three times yeah he really liked it then giving someone permission to save an image so we're yours my friend yeah like he's handing off Excalibur um yeah that's a bit of a diatribe but eric may says have you boys been noticing this trend lately of the internet turning on new artists and music quicker than ever before. Specific examples I've seen everywhere are Dochi, especially with the song Anxiety, and Benson Boone, especially with the songs mystical, magical and beautiful things. I'm not here to defend these artists, but just how fast the internet seem to conclude

that they suck, and the sheer amount of people willing, sorry, and the sheer amount of people I've seen joking about them, I wonder if a lot of the backlash isn't just group think and bandwagoning. What do you guys think? Is nobody bothering to form their own opinions about media anymore? Is the music just really that bad? Bensom Bidon sucks. Duhn't know, man. It's so fucking annoying. I hate hearing that song. Yeah, I don't like Benson Budence music, but they're like popular artists. Yeah, I don't think it's like going to affect. You're seeing a section of the, you're seeing your algorithm, you know? You're seeing your, opinions regurgitated into your ears, you know, a lot of people don't think the same thing.

I mean, that dochi song sucks, but like, don't she's talented and, uh, yeah, people love dochi still. I most, I kind of just wish those lyrics for that song were in a different song. That's my kind of core issue with anxiety. It's like the least anxiety inducing, like, it doesn't feel like anxiety whatsoever. Yeah. It's like that's um Oh man

Have a little Pina collada on the By the lake type song But speaking of Um Music And this owl Just scrap

Basically just scratched me Um It's not Um A spoiler for Death Stranding 2 But are you aware of how much low roar is in the game In 2 In 2

I have no idea And that the The game is dedicated to him Really? Yeah Like it's not a spoiler I haven't played it. But hearing that was like,

shit, maybe I've got to like, I got to get on this now. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that. Uh-huh. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. So I was happy to hear that

because I was a bit like concerned that there wouldn't be any of him in it or something. Yeah. I don't know why. Because also, they, I know Woodkid is in it a bunch. And it's Swindon's own.

Yeah. Um, I think he like directly worked on the game. That's cool. With Kajima. and like Wicked's fine and stuff I've never really like been into Wickeb but to me that's not like

a you can't really stand in for low roll with no but then both being in there's cool yeah I've heard there's like a much bigger range of um music okay okay in the first game so hell yeah

I'm looking forward to playing it yeah yeah I might have to fast track that one um then it's like what do i do with the first one do i play it i gotta play it there's too many like characters overlapping and stuff it's so good the first one's so good i love that game um because i i feel like it would be a situation where if you started with two you couldn't really go back because of how many improvements but also with how kind of similar it is yeah um got two more here for we wrap this one up

i like edible food says bear bear boys given as alex recently made the dibby tier list I'd like you both to give your thoughts on these dibbies. Dibby tierless speed round. J.D. Vance from real life. F. H. Him in real life F, but the edits can be A or S. Especially the one where he's got like the propeller hat and

is all like swollen. I'd never give him an S. Maybe A. Yeah, I can give him an A. Because like, I feel like it... Not that you have much credence as a bolity. anyway, but like now that every time you post anything, that's just all the applies the swan with, like, that gives it like a unique kind of dibby power.

Villagers from Minecraft. Oh, D. They're a terrible dibby. There are much better dibbies. D, D, D, D, D. In Minecraft. Bubbles from the wire. You haven't seen the wire.

No. I don't remember who bubbles is it in the wire. Am I being stupid? don't remember names I remember oh uh kind of he's a he's no um he's no bobby from uh mike judge show bobby oh king of the hill um ringo from the Beatles ringo star yeah the drummer yeah Uh, C I'd give him a B Really? Okay

Yeah No, I'll stick with C Scrappy Doe from Scooby Do Uh C I give him D He sucks Heel from Breaking Bad

Uh Ass Yeah, I think he's S He's ass A shot of him on the money Yeah With Bill Burr Manny from Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Uh don't I I think you do know Because I've never like seen or read those either Let me just double check Because I don't know the character For sure Okay maybe not Because there's that there's that gif of

You know this this kid Where he's like really serious And then he suddenly goes Yeah I think that kid I don't know that character's name Or what that gif is from Which film that's from

But that's like 80 to me Whenever I see that gif, I find it funny. Okay. The last one. And he said the idiot from Blood Meridian. I'm going to pass on that. I don't think Blood Meridian should be on a diby tier list. Okay.

Have you read it? I was just telling about my story on, Sadonikast about my history with, like, I pick up a book for the first time in my whole life. Start reading it, get scared and confused. Then it goes walkies. the book goes walkies

because I brought it with me to you know when we went on holiday I took it with me for a nice light bit of reading while in Cornwall and you lost it and I haven't found it since then

it's just disappeared oh okay in other words you lost it no I think it grew legs and ran okay so I kind of took that as a sign you know yeah you're not ready I'm not ready the world

isn't ready yeah you're not and last but not least our slash jar media has more of an anecdote but one that made me chuckle babe babe a few days ago I had a job interview over Zoom and right before the call I started to get super anxious and couldn't really speak confidently despite having prep for ages so while sitting in the waiting room waiting to be let into the meeting I started to utilize the vocal warm-up, Mommy made me mash my M&Ms, but I'd learned from JAR. This quickly turned into the full-blown Mime-Mamm-Mam-M-A-M-A-M-M-A-M-M-A-M-M-A-M-M-M-A-M-M-M-M-A-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-U, where I was was very fucking confused as of what I'd been doing for the 30 seconds he'd let me in

but hadn't started speaking for. Cheers lads, oh, I got the job. That's a surefire way to get a job. Me, me, ma, me, mo. Ease, you're going to fuck shit up, dude. Basically, it's just because she wants her D-I-N-N-E-R. But this is around her leg, do you see? Oh, God, Golden Retrievers.

She's a blockhead herself. I'm sorry, Paisley's ruined the question. hope you got the job too. Yeah, good luck on getting the job. That's awesome. That's awesome sitcom moment for you. Yeah, me, me, ma, me, ma, me, ma, me, me, ma, me, me, me, ma, me, me, me, me, me, ma, me, me, me, me, me.

I think we did it, brother. Another one for the pumbum. We are bum bum. We love bum bum. Any final messages for the, uh, me and mamma moos out there? Um, I'm Spider-Man. And me, I'm the green goblin. Right here.

And we. Thank you.