JAR Media Posdact - How Many Puffs BEFORE BECOME MAN? - Brocast #16

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 10:14 Housekeeping 19:59 Alex Actually Got Buttons 28:43 The 'Loisoince' People are After HIM 33:08 Mid Break 35:26 Questions Segment: Feelings of Colour 37:08 Bullying Randy 40:18 Gladiator 2 & Bad Music Choices 50:36 Where next? 57:24 Chimp Wars are Real 1:07:37 Hippo Truths 1:10:45 Nice :) 1:11:06 Anger Arises....

Do your best Chewbacca impression. Hey! Oh, lo, la, la. Yeah. Oh! Toast that shit, toasted baby in the morning light. You got to make it, um,

you got to make a wiggle, you know what I'm saying? Me does your wiggle, dog. You gotta be like the wiggles. You gotta be like, let. Big ship sailed. How many puffs does it take to be a man? I'm about stinky that... Actually going into that cigar shop in Vegas was kind of like...

Maybe I don't want to be a cigar guy. I kind of like being able to breathe. Yeah. Just being a pipe guy though. Oh, pipe guy, yeah, true. We were the pipe guys the other day. Yeah. All the pipes coming out.

The bell-o-war pipe. Yeah. and it was like the that scene although less a scene that scene from inglorious bastards

but I don't want to imply that one of us is one of them I mean you say that scene it's a film that has lots of that scene the thing the holding the thing right at the beginning

where he like pulls out the crazy pipe the like Sherlock Holmes so you know it's like that's your pipe that's not a pipe that's not a pipe this is a pipe wow

And we had these, like, ridiculously long pipes up. The Gandalf pipe? Yeah. That's what I was kind of after. Yeah, yeah. Not so much the, um, Christoph Waltz. Figure out, figure in. Figure left, figure right.

Figure down. Figure up, figure down. We're all clowns. We're all clowns in the hand. I live my life. I live my life for a flag I live for a flag

and the amendments that I live for as well Amendments Yeah yes They're an order of importance I'm I want the commenters Because that's going to be in the episode

100%. I need the commenters to say, like, the Americans are the... It's like half the audience. Have you ever met someone who genuinely talks like that? Because I really hope there's still people that just... There must be.

Because, like... I don't know if it's like a Cockney thing where, like, it's... It's definitely real, though, because it might not be the best example. It's real, but I don't know if it's like a dead... Right. It might not be the best, like, healthiest example, but, um, all this boogie drama lately.

He's got this, like, 20-year-old girlfriend who has an accent kind of like that. So it does exist, I guess. I mean, Texas is a big-ass place. You know? It's not just Texas that will have that accent. There'll be lots of places. Yeah, I'm sure, um, like, the whole state hasn't caught up to modern times. So there might be some...

Well, that's for a damn show. Yeah, well. I'm sure there's still like oil barons out there. Oil moon. Oil mean. Oil mean. Oil mean. Like oil mean.

Got some oil for me, boy. I rewatched her. There will be blood like a week ago or so. Hmm. Did it make you cry? Didn't make me cry, but it made me want to sort of beat up children. Is that a bleeper? Or is that just being an oil man?

I think that's just modern masculinity. When I was a boy, I was beaten beyond belief, and I believe it did me good. Weepen Man create hard times. Weak man create hard times. Hard times indeed. Create strong man. Strong man, create.

I don't know. Easy time. Yeah Smooth sailings Yeah Gladiators But if that's true Then

The people who are saying that Are the weak men What do funny men create Surely Funny men create hilarious turn Maybe Maybe it's as simple as that

I feel like we just overcomplicate everything Why can we just give it simple for once Let's get simp in the house Let's get a simp in the house Let's get simp in the house Bap, ba-ba-ba-na-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba That's what you're doing, right? I don't know what that was.

Huh? What was that? You seriously don't know that. Do it again? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ha. Do it again? Bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-bar. What the fuck is that?

What? You're starting to do the Simpsons theme and then just like trailing up. No, I'm not. I'm doing like the song. It's like a woman, kind of a high-pitched voice. You don't know that song. What the fuck are you talking about? Everyone knows that song.

That's one of those like doing it to Sound Hound and it will come up. No, you're fucking lying. It will. Because you're doing the goddamn Simpson. No, I'm not. That's da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm going. Yeah, you're like getting.

to the Simpsons theme and then just like switching right at the end maybe they ripped off Danny Elfman I don't know who also composed the desperate housewives name okay would you want to know who did the the music episode by episode George Ezra housewives George Ezra Steve Jablonsky the same composer is Gears of War no way what that's the hardest fucking desperate housewives did gears of war that's good Raptoire God damn Both are fire Yeah He killed it

Equally as fire as each other Yeah He's got What do you call it Like Big balls Yeah Yeah

Yeah we'll stick with that Or no balls You're wrong I don't go Yeah We go up To go down We go down to go down

to go up. Sometimes you have to go backwards to move forwards. Can you do the intro? I really don't want to do it today, some reason. Like, I really don't want to do you. Yeah, talk me through the intro. The intro. Like, I can give you like a guideline

of what we normally do. So, well, this is the checklist. We've got to introduce the show with the catchphrase. Okay. Then we say each other's names. At the moment, the catchphrase is, that's how we start so you've got to do that before it's like

and welcome to the new one where this episode we're going to go hard on woke okay ready yeah count me in three Anna two Anna three Anna two Anna two Anna welcome everybody to the woke destroyers podcast where we

gather the round table together and take down those wokeies. Those bloody wokeies. We're finally we figured out how to do it. I'm anti-woke Jamie joined by anti-woke Alex and today we're going to start revealing the truths and radicalizing some youths. You're the woke destroyer, I'm the woke decimator.

I feel like decimator is like like a rank above so I'm not cool with it um well you suggest something then um both need to start with d though I'm the woke devastator and you're the woke decimated okay those are equal mm-hmm where did that come from um um bao pop pop pop pop pop blah there we go we're introed baby thank you to all of our lovely equally anti-woke patrons over at patreon.com or patreon Patreon's over at patreon.com, should I say, should I say, who's, um, dibby tier and above get their name's read out of the first or second week of the month.

Damn straight. Damn, forever. Until the woke are demolished. And then we can retire. It's going to take a while. We got a plight, you know? A plight, which you can help us support over a Patreon. on. Um, I, I rearranged the jar dock ever so slightly. So there's like, this nice little

interactive checklist for housekeeping. Because I always forget to mention certain things. Like the patron exclusive group chat. That's a little perk in there. We'll go into one of the comments that were suggested on there shortly. Um, this episode is sponsored by the Geep Cave, as it always is. Yeah, fellow anti-wokers. If you're against the ads, um, the one one's embedded into the show on YouTube or on uh pod bean or whatever there's the raw mp3 uploaded to patreon completely ad free and finally the red dead video is now live for everybody so check that out let us know what you think and as i just said um on that jar media patron group chat that only manx jarling can get the housekeeping segment go maybe you mention

the future of the as they say series what you might cover next And if you want to do more, we're talking about this a little bit, because as of us recording this, we just made the Red Dead One live. It's been on Patreon for a few weeks. We've had this one kind of on the cards for a while. A long time. We don't necessarily have an immediate follow-up just because the nature of like, there are a couple of issues for me, whereas like one, there aren't many hyper-fixations or special interests that kind of engage. me like Red Dead um to apply that level of like editing and commitment and research it has to be something like I really care about um unless it's more of like is if as epic as they say I could do

that um you know what I'm saying yeah um and they don't all have to be like hours and hours long no um by any means but maybe you've had you've told you've brought me like ideas for ones you'd like to Yeah, ones I'm passionate about Yeah I wonder If it would be a good idea And let us know if it does sound like a good idea But if we have

If you and I come up with some options And then we ask the patrons Maybe do a vote, yeah What they would like to see the most That's not a bad idea Hmm Not a bad idea at all Just like this one from

Skack Newman Breathe in, breathe out It's time Breathe in, breathe out If you're iced up I forgot about that Get your knees out Frog Jays says

Can't wait to see the cameras Moved up to the ceiling So we can get the world's first Top Down View podcast We've got someone's noticed The gradual elevation The one guy that's noticed We're going up in this wall

Yeah Can we get much higher So high Do you remember that's slug show. I love island. That's and as they say we've been meaning to do for a long time. I love island movie.

Yeah. You know, there's that. We only did Phantom Menace. You know? There's options. Retaners 2001 says major world events that happen on weekends are doomed to not be talked about on Jarkhouse. So I had to put a little like Stinger. Or a little preface in the last episode.

We were talking about the football. Now it was going to come home and obviously didn't come home. And then, if that wasn't enough, there was an attempted assassination on Donald Trump. So pretty quiet week, all and all. Yeah. Just dodging Civil War II just by an ear. England lost at football and her president was almost murdered.

Like, what's new? I don't know if there's much you really want to say on that topic I don't really have much to add I just kind of wanted to mention it at least once in this episode just so yeah I think historical sake you know just so I can say oh that's where you were around that time yeah I'm glad you brought it up

and I think Spain did deserve it so yeah deserve to win yeah Spain deserved to win yeah that's what I'm saying they play better they were better through up

I agree and that's all I'm going to say on this I've got one more thing to say touchy subject I have one more thing this might need to be beeped but it goes a little something like I think it's real

I hope it's real it's not fucking real it is real Danny Elfman probably composed it Okay, at the end of this episode, you go on to Soundhound and do that. See what happens. Everyone listening already knows.

I'm like just making new versions, like, as we sit here. Just riffing. Just piping. We're just scatting over the attempted assassination. Maybe like a vapor wave version. Yeah, that's pretty cool, man. Um, Bugsies Siegel 2591 says Beast. British comedy is absolutely not dead.

The most obvious place to look is Taskmaster. Absolutely hilarious every time and introduces you to loads of hilarious comedians, none of which buy into their Russell Brand Rikis-your-face type. Can't say anything these days, schick. Some personal favourites of mine that I've seen from the show at Greg Davies, the host, John Robbins, Nish Kumar, Ed Gamble, James A. Castor, Sarah Pascoe, and Fern, Brady. You know Greg Davies.

Yeah, from kind of funny. No, you do, right? He's like, he's the giant, he's got like gray hair. Yeah, the old teacher, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen this myself, but I recognize a lot of these comedies. Yeah, I've heard, um, I've even seen clips.

It's just like, it's on sort of television. Yeah, it's TV, so I'm sorry. When I say things, right, I'm talking about my specific perspective. so as far as I'm concerned I don't watch TV and I'm not being exposed to this so to me it doesn't exist and everyone has the same life experience and on the same note

there was a comedian that had passed away that you were trying to remember neither of us could a hoodie left a comment saying Jim is getting confused and mixing 8 out of 10 cats with would I lie to you Sean Locke was the comedian who passed away and he was absolutely love you absolutely lovely sorry comedy in the UK

really did perish when he died um we were talking about would i like to you we were talking about them like kind of we're talking about both yeah um but sean lock is who you're trying to think of and he is her fucking hilarious yeah in the same time i was watching all the clips of david mitchell i was also watching clips of him and holy fuck is he funny yeah just so effortlessly funny yeah like that that kind of funny where you get the impression that he's not even thinking about it he's not trying to be

funny and he's the funniest person that yeah he's the consistently yeah just incredible incredible human being two more here we go into topics idle high says run I'm the guy that made the crazy goblins cover and I just wanted to say that I recently released an album my band is called Heidel I and the album is called hide a lie so if any of the mighties who enjoyed the cover would consider checking the album out I'd really appreciate it to avoid this being just self-promotion I also wanted to pose a question to Jha do you think there's going to be a big resurgence of interest in live music in the nearest future as AI gets

better and better at replicating real music and might become impossible to differentiate new music by real artists from generated slop seeing an artist live might become the only way to authentically experience their music what are your thoughts on this berber that's an awesome idea it's an it's an interesting idea but it's also like I don't see like it's not like cinemas where it feels like it's this dying thing like live music is kind of always a consistent I feel like people are always interested yeah I could see it becoming more of a niche and I could see um like the the hologram technology technology and stuff

like uh like is it Hatsune Miku yeah you know she she's like an AI and that existed so long ago yeah a fake pop star who's existed for ages and I feel like we're gonna get more stuff like that and like yeah go to kochalla to see like virtual art yeah there's all like the aber thing already in london that they do yeah yeah um so it'll probably be stuff like that where it's like the two-part hologram or imagine like uh the way guerrillas used to perform you know they'd have the screen like this time it would just be like a i an ai cartoon your favorite martian comes back at a i yeah um i feel like it won't ever fully do. It might just be more niche.

Yeah. I feel like out of everything that it's going to impact, it's going to take a while for that to be the thing that it eradicates. I don't think it's going to live music first. No, I think it's going to wipe out a bunch of other mediums beforehand. Really interesting.

Interesting quandary to think about. Joe Russell, O3W can end this. Not a farmer, but my dad works with them. The term for the past tense for sheer A sheep is sheared It is Sheared A sheared sheep

That sheep was sheared A little bit bloody sheared Um I have one or two things I want to mention Um I'll throw it to you first just in case Anything you want to Bring up on this day

Um No I I think the things where my mind has given processing power towards we've touched on and don't really want to say more about. Okay. Well, why don't I say this then?

What's one of our most consistent pieces of advice that we've given over the years? Live like a dog. Damn straight. Damn straight. And today, right here, right now, I am going to prove just how easy it is to live like a dog. Okay. Okay. Um, and that is going to involve buttons. Uh-huh.

Um, and I'm going to try and communicate you with buttons only for a little minute, for the rest of the podcast. Okay. If that's okay. For the rest of the hot of the, for the rest of the show, okay? Okay. It's just only going to be replies with buttons. Okay. Yep. So kind of like Blue Peter, these are the ones I prepared earlier. These are the buttons I prepared.

These are the various, like, animals. These are the various buttons I prepared. I really don't want, if, when I lift this pillow and reveal all the buttons, if any of them make a noise, you have to cover your ears because it will ruin it. Okay, I'm ready. Okay, no, we're good, we're good. Now, have you learned which color corresponds to which? Yeah, so color coded them.

So you know, you've memorized this like a, dog yes and like a dog that these these buttons to preface are designed as like a dog training device we've all seen the tick dog videos exactly yeah you know collie going like feed me bloody feed me bastard yeah so um i get i feel like you need to just sort of begin um um um um Um, then I can, there needs to be like a moment where I stop talking and I turn into the buttons. Okay, are we going to have like a fake, like, conversation, like? Um, I kind of need, uh, more like, pretend it's more like an interview, right? And you're asking questions.

Okay. Yes or no questions would be ideal. Only yes or no questions. I'm a dog. It needs to be fairly simple. Okay. Right. especially when I can only remember what two of these five buttons do

and at the end there's a certain surprise that involves you as well okay right when do you want to start are you prepared right now right now right now okay um hello Alex how are you Oh, bloody, too. Go on. Um, it sounds like you're well.

Oh, bloody, too, go on. Um, so, tell me, are you hungry? Stop it. No? Stop it. Okay. Um... Oh, bloody, do go on.

Are you enjoying that cigar? Oh, bloody to go on. What are the fuck is that what the fuck is that what am I going to do that. Wait, what am I listening? What the fuck is that? Huh? You can't tell. I can't tell.

is that fucking the good band is that fucking um the good band that needs to stay that needs to fucking stay that's so fire it sounds like a better it sounds like a better song through that yeah fuck me do you want to press the

the orange button please the little girl getting out of it man living like a dog is really easy Why is this one so loud? Please the little god get married. Can I talk now? Yeah, I think so. I think we've demonstrated how easy it is. How easy it is.

Yeah. What's your favorite one? Not alive and it's not you. Hmm I enjoyed that but it's not done though there's one more The jar blue And this is my gift to you It's untouched

It needs to be forged That's the default Is that what it's saying? yeah hmm so now's your chance to create a new way of communication the aliens might find this button one day and use it as a way to figure out what's up or not the aliens the next um like the replacement humans the plant humans so yeah should i should i leave the message to the plant humans or just and there's a and there's the little circle as the mic that little

Dot thing. Which dot? Oh. Yeah. I hope this comes through clearly. I'm going to press the record button. Ah! That's a good one.

Maybe that should be the Star Wars button. The protest. The way it cuts off is good. is good. Okay, we got some options then. Yeah. Hopefully the cops don't get called. I do like that one.

That's the Marvel button. If you want more Marvel, you hit the grin. Do you go on. Fuck me. Yeah. Are you going to train dog to use it? I'm going to teach her. what bloody means I'm bloody hungry bloody need water refreshed give her a tickle tummy

and then she goes over and she's like oh bloody do go on yeah yeah so that was a topic I guess that was my one that's what I'm bringing to the scene I like I like it um i like it there's that and there's one other thing right i don't know whether i should even you know the uk right we uh the joker's that we need a license for everything right right do that's the meme other countries they make fun of us for our license that you need license license for that mate type of stuff right um obviously the biggest joke of a license is the tv license right and i've had i've had tv license stories before, but I got a new one, right?

At 9 p.m. like a few days ago, I get an email from the TV licensed people, and they're like, tut, tut, tut, we've seen that you've logged in and watched something on IPlayer. And I'm thinking, like, wait, what? I never use I player, what? Then I remembered, the only way

to watch the BBC political debates was through BBC. I watched one on my phone, and I guess that counts. To take part in democracy, you have to pay the TV license. Let's go. And is there a fine if you don't pay for a TV license and you're using BBC? There's no fine, but they're like, since you used it, you now need to. Right.

For the one time in five years that I used, BBC I play I play. What's the consequences though of watching BBC and not paying? You get an email. Yeah, but there must be like a next step. Yeah, there's like, you were regularly now. If you were regularly

watching BBC, what would they do? They send the agent. I've had the agent come to my house. This house. I've had one of the TV license agents in this house. They're vicious. The second, someone, because it's immediately expected of

every single person to have a TV license. Which is goofy, because it's like, it's not my fault that you didn't adapt with the times and kind of just ignored the streaming service revolution and then I've been left in the dust. I don't need to, I don't need access. Every other, like, political debate was hosted on, you know, on ITV or Channel 4, those are on YouTube.

Uh-huh. BBC doesn't, because they've got to justify the TV license. They put like little clips of it on their YouTube channel Yeah, yeah I saw I saw a debate though On like the ITV YouTube channel Is that a different one?

Yeah Wow Yeah, that's fucking bullshit Yeah You gotta change with the times man Because like Our granddad Years ago was getting harassed by the British

When he literally didn't even have a TV He didn't own a TV and like, they came into his house and they were like, where is it then? He's like, I told you, I don't have one. They're like, uh-huh, but like, where really is it? Yeah, like he's hiding a TV. Like the beginning of him in glorious bastards,

he's got like a TV over there. Yeah, yeah, under the floorboards. He lights up his pipe. Are they down there? Yeah. Better have just been Channel 4. It's fucking absurd. It is completely absurd.

Just have adverts. if that's yeah that's all it takes that's how I was watching Thunderdome because it was on ITV with adverts and I was like you know what

I'm not buying Thunderdome yeah you know how I'll watch it with ads yeah if you make it easy to access people don't give a shit yeah that's that's the key

these motherfuckers they've ruined it yeah they don't ruined it like like Amazon having adverts now as well prime

um yeah lame as hell but like I'm not going to go through the... Lame, lame, lame, lame! You can pay to not have them, right? On Amazon? Yeah.

It's like a tier thing now, yeah. Yeah, they're all doing tiers now. Everything's a tier. So at least BBC doesn't do that. Yeah. Yeah. British TV sucks anyway. Yeah.

That's my belief. My belief is that we'll be back after the... these messages. Yeah. Life can be a dick sometimes. So get your dick from out your hand. And don't be a dick, wear a dick. Dick the head t-shirts available now.

Check the description below. Yeah. Not my glasses. Not my glass. Do not reveal my millhouse eyes. Not turning millhouse eyes. Are you still afraid you have mill house eyes? Always will, always have.

Always will, always have. Always have, always will. You hold the tiny eye fear. Hello there, Billier. Oh, bloody, too, go on. I don't know if you like that? Do you like the light? Oh, bloody, do go on. quite attached to bloody

I feel like it's I've just found a good way to summarise all of the UK one word yeah it doesn't work I think that's the the reason it's so

potent us you know you can't say it in another accent true yeah it's bloody British alright it's bloody British bloody British have you seen that guy

he like He goes around kind of larping as a, like a working-class pint-drinking lad type dude, but he's actually like a privately educated, like, tough. Nigel Farage. I mean, kind of. But what are we talking about here? Bloody, oh my God, it's the second half of the cast, where we bloody head over to the suggestion thread and go over to the...

We go over to the Redditors and my god, do we see what they're up to? Those bloody Redditors. Do you think it's something like this? That's what Redditors should be saying, am I right? That's a pretty average Redditor, in my opinion. That's their inner monologue. But Gremie Jame can get us going here. Longtime hero, first time ever writing ever with crayon.

I asked my mummy to type this out for me. Open bracket, blue. Mama, close bracket, tease. I have a friend who's... Younger brother has been taught to articulate his feelings using colours, and I think saying, you're giving me a red feeling,

is ripe for potential as a jar meme. You're giving me green feeling. Oh, bloody, do you go on? Um... What was red again? Stop it. Yeah. That is quite red.

I mean, we're kind of doing a red episode, but... I think that's a terrible fucking idea. I'm feeling a little bit purple right now. Yeah, it's like, what the fuck does that? Yeah. What if they're colorblind? I'm feeling extremely grey. Yeah.

Which grey? Like dark grey. Yeah, surely you should be teaching your kids to articulate just like in the English language. Maybe. Not any other language. Maybe they're the opposite of colourblind. They can only communicate in colour. Oh, I'm feeling mighty maroon.

I'm pretty cerulean right now. Don't make me go lilac on you. Uh, Mr. of Cuskima What? Says, what's up with Alex's disdain for Randy? Sure, none of the boys like him, but Jim and James have at least been able to put their differences aside and talk to him on the cast. Meanwhile, Alex always seems to be childishly absent.

Really shows how immature he is compared to Jim. Unless there's some secret family drama we're not aware of. Do you want to fill the man? I don't think they need to know about personal It probably is a little bit too personal Yeah To reveal that whole thing Like I mean to to save Randy's

Lack of being in prison I won't divulge Well yeah I won't divulge We normally record right before crazy things happen So he knows by Monday drop Hmm By Monday drop

Let's just say the guy likes knives Like buggy Does buggy like knives Like you bring out this boogie drama Yeah boogie takes up a fucking huge amount of your brain capacity Yeah Like 60% of your brain goes You know what's been driving me crazy

What? I've spoken to boogie once right And in that conversation He told me something something that I just can't forget. A piece of advice that I know for a fact he did not follow, but he made an effort to tell me specifically. He went, Make sure you diversify your income streams. That's what he told me. That's that a piece of advice he gave me.

The same fellow who's like bankrupt from crypto scams. Maybe he was teaching you from like experience. But this was like, this was during, um what do they call him the he was like lover boy not love a boy right that's the wrong term um uncle rogers uh buggy well like everyone loved him he was like internet sweetheart that was like peak of that before everyone hated his ass for right lying about having cancer and whatnot legend buggy when you the the calm before the storm buggy yeah yeah yeah maybe he was just like maybe um he kind of had an anakin type story arc a development yeah so does that mean

he's gonna hurt who's who's boogies luke to redeem him um who's the emperor the emperor is kemstar yeah um maybe maybe the new hope hasn't arrived yet maybe the new hope is still a baby. Maybe it's some Kai Sanat. Well, well the only thing that will reveal that to be true or not is time.

Yeah, I'm afraid. So, as far as Randy, I'm not going to tell you, so I'm going to go to the next question. Miniature Rani says, hey Jha, part-time listener, full-time Guna here. With Gladiator 2 coming out and revealing it's got a heap of rappers making songs

for the historical Roman movie what are some of the worst uses of licensed or ill-fitting music in movies? I remember Adam from YMS criticizing into the spiderverse for how it used its music. For me, it would be the awkward way the forced popular music in Suicide School 2016, just to capitalize on the popularity of Guardians of Galaxy Bear Bear, that's a good... That's, yeah, that's hard to beat. I honestly think you can't defeat Zach Snyder for this. You can't.

It's impossible. like sucker punch has one of the worst soundtracks they ever created yeah and watchman yeah like the soundtrack isn't bad it's just like the way they used the yeah the nail is like in the perfect spot on the head uh-huh you're that head is is long exploded have you seen what it is yet have you seen what it is yet yeah yeah awesome choice of reference there bro How everyone feels about Ralph. Does anyone even know, like... Well, like, Zuma wouldn't get that reference now.

Yeah, it's not like, um... What was his weather song? It's gonna be a... A good day. It's gonna be a real fine day. Oh, you're right. Oh, I'd forgotten about that completely. More fucking platitude music.

Fuck you, Rolf. No, he was, he was royal. Yeah, he, like, painted the queen. She probably supplied him. Dude. Allegedly, I'm not saying it happened. Hmm. It's gonna be a fine day.

I bet he was cool. I bet, I bet, I bet. You can't say that. No, I'm leading up to something. I bet Rolf was cool, and then he met Prince Andrew. Ooh. Rolf goes to prison. Prince Andrew lives in a house.

fucking mansion he gets to look after the poor corgis yeah poor andrew you could spend all your life in a mega mansion getting everything you want and you gotta look after the corgis and you're never allowed to sweat again i can't anyway bloody like gladiator two thing is weird i don't even really care about the music thing so i don't care about this project you know it's like it i'm not even invest I don't have to even be angry at that. Yeah. Because, like, the, the concept of it is, like,

Ridley Scott making a... It's kind of like the... If Ridley Scott was making the Blade Runner sequel, it just would not be exciting inherently, because he's just not really exciting film. He's a hack. He's become a hack. He's just...

I just don't get it. It's like, what... It can't be a monetary thing, surely. Like... Like, really? Like, you... Unlike a lot of directors, he has been working for decades.

He has an enormous catalog He's constantly working He just makes you wonder at a certain point Like if the movies aren't even really Particularly interesting or good Like what is the motivation He's quite like workman like at this point It feels like

Yeah It might just be a thing of like Where he's done it for so long He doesn't know what else to do Yeah But he doesn't have the same And clearly like studios like working with him I think he's known for like delivering stuff

Under budget quickly Um Although the budgets are very big for these recent films he's been doing and they do not bring the money you know the Napoleon movie and whatnot like yeah um yeah I forgot he did that

I can't remember the last Ridley Scott film I even saw because he's just so uninteresting to me as a filmmaker nowadays I heard the uh uh the uh the Kylo Ren Knight movie again I haven't seen it is like one that stands out as being good from the past like 10 years

Kylo Ren Knight um It's called, like, the last something. The last fight. Okay. And Kylo Ren is in the actor. The actor, not the, yeah. A Star Wars spin-off.

Yeah. What's the button again for the Star Wars? Uh. I believe it's called the Last Duel. 2021. It made no money, but people say it's like his last. worthwhile film, I guess. Okay.

I don't know. Yeah, I just find him super uninteresting. Yeah, I feel like when it comes to music and movies, though, you have to be, like, outstandingly bad for it to be... If the soundtrack isn't that good, then... Servicable. Yeah, then you don't really notice. If it's really good, then you notice.

Yeah. I'm struggling to think of any, I'm sure there's definitely loads that piss me off. I've seen clips, a lot of DreamWorks movies, where it ends in like a song or something. It's just like, I hate movies when they end in a song with a dance. I can blame Toy Story for that. Toy Story? that started the trend really yeah talk story too that's what started that oh shit with weasie uh-huh which is a fire yeah yeah no that's actually funny though because it's like a yeah frank sinatra

song or something and like he's been wheezy throughout the whole thing so it's it's a joke yeah there's like a payoff to it it's like you do it enough times it becomes a trope it gets lazier and lazier I just thought of the best one Madagascar 3 Fireworks Katie Perry That shit fucking It ruins the movie

It's a masterpiece And then it just takes a shit on it What would have been the song Like a death grip song That would have been awesome If they went just like crazy with it Just something like surreal Like get like a really weird

Like David Burns song or something Or like the soundtrack from Tom York. Yeah, yeah. Like a radio head song. No, I'm thinking like hereditary. You know, when all the voices are like,

ooh, yeah, yeah. He's doing like the fucking circus. It's like really tense. Yeah. It's all on the love. That would rock. But, yeah, they dorked it. That's a good one.

I mean, the same scene. Because, you know what? The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, from Madagascar too fire which one he did that whole soundtrack I've been around when Alex on the spot and his dad is like oh shit my son

is fire he's got the moves yeah that's like if I wanted to Hans Zimmer he's composed a lot of scores including Gladiator right so like all these live shows that they do you know you can go to London and they put like an orchestra on to do like

Hans Zimmer's scores if there was a one two three Madagascar one, I would go to that. I don't care about any of the... Well, if I ended with Katie Perry, though. Is it her new song? Does it matter? Have you seen that?

Yeah. It's really embarrassing, huh? Yeah, and there's a law where she's, like, working with a problematic producer or something. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought the whole point was it was like a girl boss song. Yeah, but she's working with a guy who, um, like...

I think assaulted Kesha. Oh my God. And it's like a girl power song. And yeah, it's just like, oh, so this, this isn't... It's like manufactured. Yeah, it's manufactured, um, just horse shit. Uh-huh. I always, I, I have this like inherent sympathy for Katie Perry.

Because like, whenever she performs, it kind of, there's like this element of pain. Like, you hear it in her, like, it sounds painful. Have you seen that creepy video where her eye malfunctioned? Yeah, I have seen that. Yeah. um they must all be on such insane drug cocktails yeah they must be it must be like debilitating to be that level of famous yeah and to be a performer like that you know well you can hear it in her voice it sounds like oh my god like please take a sip of water or something it sounds sore are

you okay what did russlebrand do to you she she is um she's married to orlando bloom now so she's recovered. Did you ever see the I forgot about that? I forgot about that. It was really. The picture of Orlando Bloom naked on the the like, bored thing. And he's got a fucking monster don't.

Does he? Yeah, he's got a flaccid monster don't. He's a shower? Yeah, 100%. Of course he would be. Of course he is. With aim like that. Yeah. I like Orlando Bloom. Remember when he punched Justin Bieber? Remember that?

Did he? Yeah. For what? I think it was during that era because he was like Justin Bieber was being an asshole and he punched him or something I don't know this was a long time ago then the whole like Justin Bieber thing now is so weird because like he's like a 16 year old and everyone was like they want they want well who no get in it's just not fair and he's like a child star he's just he groomed into it p. Diddy uh-huh it's like true I'll share and yeah that he's seen some shit

Guarantee. Of course. And then got limes? Yeah, he did. I wonder if he had a tick. That's how you get limes, isn't it? Or about other ways of getting limes? I'm sure there's more. Insect gowling. You'll know. Yeah. Yeah. A.J. Hunter says, where's next for the bros to go so we can get another holiday episode? Have, excuse me? These motherfuckers hate it.

They hate it. They liked it. They liked it when we both. when they just didn't like it when i go when it's both i don't know i feel like i really want to go to amsterdam still yeah 100% bit closer than vegas too yeah yeah i just worry about um the the the the like i i didn't really want to leave vegas to be honest i'm still there like half thing is still there yeah i left you know like you know like a like a breakup like they take part of you right yeah you know Vegas took part of me even though I was wisdom-toothed up true yeah this it's like it's the it's the classic is so wrong but it feels so right yeah yeah that is what that fucking hell

hole is your brain says no but your heart says yes yeah yeah all the logic is like just run yeah get out of your body just like emanating dopamine you can see why like Bruno Mars and shit just like go there Spent so much money and then have no money Like apparently Bruno Mars Like huge fucking pop star

He's heavily in debt In vain With casinos It affects more celebrities than you realise Yeah and like I can see why If I was mega rich I'd be like Every fucking weekend Hell yeah let's go

So I think it's a good thing Imagine having a residency in Vegas Dude That must be so surreal Because to get a residency as well You'd be so wealthy to be getting a residency anyway It would be the kind of thing where it's like That's one of the things I'm envious I guess of like

America as a whole It's like You can just fly anywhere under the same Yeah Kind of banner Sure states have different laws or whatever but like you can go under the same passport and if you're a resident um yeah it's quite the opportunity if you have the money to um and yeah you can just like visit any environment

so yeah pretty much that's that is something that's underrated as fuck was why they have the reputation for never leaving the u.s because they don't we literally don't need to unless they want to experience other cultures which they don't oh yeah why would they yeah they might like be common yeah there's that insane stat of like how few americans have passports yeah comparative to other places yeah um because it's around like 50% which i think it might be under i think it actually might be slightly under yeah yeah i think it is but yeah it's why when you meet americans abroad is in abroad from America.

Aren't your ass from there? I really like that impression. Yeah, you're getting like a slice of America. You're not really getting there. Yeah. Well, I was actually thinking about Vegas this morning just in terms of like, if I was like writing a story or whatever, I feel like spend a week in Vegas.

just people watch and you've got like all these like you have such a selection of people to choose from it's like there's a character right there's a there's a completely different character from a different part of the world and it's like so varied it's like so inspiring just from that kind of thing of like yeah dude i could make a whole movie about that that blackjack dealer true yeah he was fire as fuck uh-huh it's danger man to end the drama just drama also the tension of like

am I gonna get shot yeah is it just gonna pop off right now we had that that that that like bone chilling conversation that was like

if if like you start hearing shots just lie down and crawl get on the ground yeah it's like but just said there was nonchal on like yeah

that's just where you do yeah and it's like you have had that that thought genuinely from the moment you were born pretty much yeah and there was when we were in Vegas I don't know if we told this story but there was like

a a brewing battle between this old street performer who was sat with his wife and someone dissed his wife yeah so he he was like it was a full on like argument yeah but we were right next

loads of people were getting involved and then a part of my brain was like what if one of them has a gun has a weapon uh then like shit could get messy but that's what we're being told is like if someone starts arguing or getting upset you just go the other direction like just and that's so terrifying and i don't want to bring up the whole like gun debate thing again because people in the comments get like funny about it but Like, maybe you don't feel the same way going to another culture. But, like, I never think about that here. When I went to France, I never thought about it then.

When I went to Spain, never, Iceland, never. Any place I've been, it's not been something that crossed my mind apart from America. I will say there were been a couple of times in London where I felt like, oh, you've got like barriers everywhere. I guess there was a whole trend going with that direction. That's true. And I have thought about being shot once when we got pulled over and the gun squad role. Right, yeah. Because normally it's not something you imagine someone could have concealed.

And the only time I've seen law enforcement with guns is in London. London, yeah. Yeah. And they're not only guns. It's not like a pistol. It's a fucking submachine. SMG, yeah. Or an assault rifle, they...

Mm-hmm. Like, serious stuff. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, you can't pull shit because you'll just get gunned down. Yeah, can't remember how we got there, but we certainly did. And Butt Temple Z has this to say.

Bear Bear, may I declare, have you boys ever heard of the Gombe Chimpanzee War? It was a recorded war between two tribes of chimps that lasted over four years. The war consisted of multiple ambushes against the opposing side in which they violently picked off the tribe members one by one, utilizing guerrilla tactics in war bands and sadistically celebrating each kill by maiming the bodies.

It's a really interesting story that I would recommend further reading into. Personally, I find the way the chimpanzees are even capable of waging war, both comedic and off-putting, in that it makes war seem like an inevitable element of our nature and society, though in no way confirmed the killer ape theory similarly states war and aggression may have been the driving force of human evolution regardless I find the social dynamics of chimpanzees an interesting subject

and believe we could gain further understanding in our own nature through observing their behavior sorry for the long rant jarling but Temple Z signing out that's how cool yeah I think it's um grounding it's a bit of a like

yeah and like reflecting on our own history because there's there's a lot of like periods of human history or not periods but everything before a certain point is like hmm like we've got a kind of an idea of what was going all right it's just not that much evidence yeah yeah um and like you know that shit was going on it's oh it would have been brutal yeah yeah absolutely within our nature um but also the the fact that there are teams you know there's yeah like clans and and like yeah simultaneously within our nature to cooperate as much as it is to combat yeah it's like a way of growing your group is it seems like part of growing your

group is to have an enemy group that needs to motivate the growth of your group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Like, you have to have some other, some enemy, something that threatens you or is different from you in some way. Yeah. It's why the idea of, like, pacifism on a global scale is, like,

then you're going to be the one that's trampled. Right. If, like, if us as an island is like, you know what, let's just get rid of all of our defense and let's be chill. Yeah. And it's like, it's just a matter of time until someone rocks along. He's like, well, our thing is the total opposite. it and you're

found because you're not going to do anything. Yeah, our philosophy is conquering. How are you going to deal with that? Yeah. Yeah, we are like, sci-fi often plays with this and creates like a race of aliens that are warmongers, the Krogans or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, that is us. Like, that is us. Like, every race in Mass Effect is built off of like one aspect of humanity. A hyper-exaggerated, like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's clever. But that is fascinating, I find, I think that that is kind of the reason that I was, I was joking about it last week that, like, people just love watching ape movies and monkeys and just stuff like that.

We just have this inherent affinity towards, because I think, even if you don't believe in evolution or anything like that, though, you can see something in there. Yeah, 100%. It's like, they just kind of are us. Yeah. Yeah, the, I mean, the DNA crossover is just so immense. Yeah. They're really not, not that far apart. And then you watch things like, Revert to Monkey mentioned the orangutan jungle school, TV show, which I've seen some of.

Yeah. And like, when they are, like, these, they are basically forming tribes, and depending on where these tribes are forming in the world, they're picking up certain skills and developing certain cultures. and it's like we see them as like primitive compared to us but it's like man this is like really sophisticated they got thumbs

they'd be creating tools they they're waging war man yeah I can't I personally can't get enough of it I wish there was more orangutan like

documentary stuff and just I suppose they're fairly rare and they are gigantopithecus what a cool idea just making it a fucking enormous orangutan that just used to exist, I guess.

Like, actually? Yeah, it was real, but it just went extinct. No fucking way. Gigantapithecus. That would be terrifying, though. Yes. It's like an unimaginable horror. Let me double check.

I need to fact check it. Jamie check it. Oh, I was thinking about Jamie from Joe Rogan the other day. What a fucking. lucky guy. What a gig. Yeah. Bro.

What a gig? When Joe Rogan was offered like 50 million or whatever, he was like... Oh, he's paying Jamie damn well. Yeah. You know that. Yeah. And it's like... He just gets to sit there, like...

He just gets to sit there and Google. Observe these... Yeah, he gets to see all that stuff. Like, I'm sure he... He's got to be putting in the hours, you know? Yeah, you have to be dead. He does like a podcast every... day. Yeah, so you're crazy

grind, like, to the point where it's kind of, uh... But he'll be able to retire easily off late. Oh yeah, he could have retired fucking five years ago. Um, so gigantipithcus was real, um, an extinct genus of ape but lived in southern China from 2 million to approximately 300,000 to 200,000 years ago

during the early to middle... I can't say that. Yeah, and look, I'll show you an image of the kind of scale of them They kind of look like You know Why am I blanket on the You know, Red Dead, you like kill the last one Oh, the Sasquatch

Yeah, the Sasquatch, kind of looks like a Sasquatch Maybe that's what he was, maybe that's what Bigfoot was That's creepy man, though, it's too big, it's too much Yeah. That's horrifying. Big ape. But kind of awesome too. Very cool.

Especially if they, yeah, if they did have a level of like sophistication. Yeah. But the thing is like, uh... What's the advantage of being that big? Like, why would it evolve to be that big? That seems almost like... Was it to do with how much oxygen was in the air? I don't know.

I don't know if it's um... Because that's why it's from then. But that's from like... Oh. That's like... long time ago yeah yeah well i don't know when these um this is closer um right because they were also those giant sloths hmm yeah i guess yeah there was just a period i mean they would be creepy as yeah giant sloth um i suppose you got whales they're giant giant mammals yeah i mean

what would fuck with you if you're that big yeah But like, they don't, they are herbivores, aren't they? Yeah, so they can imagine how much they be... Yeah. I mean, like, back then, there would have been more vegetation, right? There would be cities and shit and deforestation and farms. True. Um, that really breaks my brain sometimes, just, like, considering that that is something that...

at some point on this earth could be interacted with and was like part of it I really like try and engage my imagination sometimes and just be like interacting with even like a giant squid in the water just when things get to a certain scale it's like so horrific almost

it like activates this fight or flight thing in your brain it's like oh I I feel like the insect in the spider's web right now, like this thing that's just outclassing me. There's a really good video, again, by Jacob Geller, who I mentioned in the last episode. I think it's called Fear of the Deep or something, but just about how, like,

how little we know about these things and the idea of like Cthulhu or some sort of, deep sea creature has existed in loads of different cultures and it's like did they experience or like the leviathan yeah boats and stuff yeah yeah yeah did they experience like this crazy one in a million like encounter with a giant creature and they survived and told the tale and then it becomes like mythologized yeah um yeah i think a lot of our like stories and myths were just like Passed down vocally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just stories like diluted way over time. And there's those giant bears as well. Mm-hmm. Like, mega bears. That's the most terrifying. You think mega bears is worse than terabirds? Because we mentioned the terabirds last week. Yeah, because birds...

I think they're about equal. You're equally fun. Equally fact, yeah. What did you do? And the giant bears just make me think of Elmering. I hate those enemies. The birds? The giant bears.

Oh, yeah. They got like tiny heads, but, like, huge arms. They just mapped the monkey. Yeah, you're right. Great ape. I got three quick ones I want to end on here. HMPO says, hippo, boys. First, I just want to say that the discussion that arose from the why is Alex obsessed with birds' question was insane.

But I wanted to follow up on the part about hippo. While there are currently no hippos living in the Everglades, give it some time though. I'm sure some messed up Floridium would try it someday. There was a proposal at one time to introduce hippos into the bayous of Louisiana. The idea was that the hippos would eat an invasive water plant species, but also they would provide the US with a new source of meat. The plan was supposedly by former President Teddy Roosevelt and the US Department of Agriculture.

Fortunately, it never got approved from Congress, and now we can see how horrible of an idea. idea that would have been because in Colombia there was an ongoing issue of invasive hippos disrupting their local ecosystem after they were introduced to the country by none other than Pablo Escobar. So yeah, absolutely wild stuff. I hope you guys read this. If for nothing else, I want to hear Alex attempt to say Bayou. What are you supposed to say? Bayou. Bayou? It is Bayou, but you probably... They're respecting me to say Bayou. You know how to say it because of Redud. Yeah.

And maybe, um... I actually associate bayoues more with, um... You know, Matthew McConaughey, uh, uh, a true detective. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's kind of what I think about bayous. Yeah. That's what I relate to bayous. Um, there are certain words, though.

Like, you can't, you can't laugh at someone for, like, not knowing how to say it, you know. Like, look at the word placebo. I remember at school, um, doing biology. And I knew the word placebo, but when I saw it written down, I was like, that says placebo. Yeah. Lots of English is kind of difficult like that. So, yeah, like. It's complicated enough within English, then you go into, well, yeah, like, like,

all the different cultures. Like, Bayou is, like, kind of crossed over with French. Uh-huh. The one I struggle with most is. um i really struggle um like enunciating native american like words that's one i've noticed i really am bad yeah yeah um there was like a song was nominated for a martin scorsese's last film um for oscar um and on like a sod i had to like read the name of the song or whatever i'm saying oh my god i just embarrassed myself right here right now

because it just it's so different to yeah what i'm used to um Yeah, so if you're not tuned in to that way of using consternance and vowels, obviously you're going to say it wrong. I honestly would like to go on one of those hovercrafts in the Everglades. I would do that. Would you? I don't know if I would. Mine not, though.

What's going to happen? If you're on like a nice big hoverboard. Shine monster allegation. Wellesley 2-3-4 has a penultimate one here. just not even a question just like I screenshot this because it's nice enjoy the podcasts and they've helped with anxiety and such

hearing the advice and the funny stories you're welcome wellesley just a nice little one in there and finally hack Snyder says yo Alex I hate you I can't stop listening to cutthroat shake my head bear bear

cutthroat that's this one right that's this that's cut through it right that makes it sound cool it does the underrated humour of bad audio quality yeah well that's it bro

oh someone's gifted me something on Steam oh shit let's see what it is Hylix H-Y-Y-L-I-C-S You ever heard of that? Hy-L-L-I-C-S Yeah Hylix

I was expecting it to be like another copy of bad rats or something How many of those do you have? I think someone gifted me A-D-D-O-N-D-Freyman which is pretty good I wasn't going to buy it What is it? I mean it looks like cool.

Okay. Oh okay. Cool, thanks. Well, on that note. Go play high lakes. Go play highlicks, I guess this is like gameplay. Oh, trippy. Yeah, it's like a trippy final fantasy moon thing.

I think to end this episode, you should pick a button and just Play it. And which button you pick is completely up to you. I think there's only one choice, really. Yeah.