JAR Media Posdact - HR’s Problem - JARCast Episode 299

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 09:45 Housekeeping 15:58 James wants to create an ARG 20:55 The Funko Problem 25:58 Twitter Premium 27:39 Alex Finished Dark Souls 1 - James Leaves in Anger while we discuss 50:33 Mid Break 51:33 Nihilism 57:52 Reddit Questions 58:26 The 'Try Not To Smile' Challenge 1:00:12 Craziest Thing Seen on Road 1:06:43 7 Year JARLing 1:07:59 Stealing JAR Jokes - Take the Consequence 1:11:19 Willie Carsons Family Writes In 1:13:34 Live Action Hercules (TikTok) 1:26:42 @humansbornfresh 1:29:21 Dobbys Grave 1:32:44 Gross Poo Story

Did you have a Red Bull? Nope. Did you have a relentless? Nope. No caffeine today until my coffee at about three-ish. How did you feel? I felt I had like a dip at about half one. Maybe two?

Not half one dip. A crash. But it was a crash from nothing, because I hadn't had any caffeine. Hmm Solar crash I had the the goat today What And that's why he's the goat

Pretty yummy Very good I ate some pistachios today I've been eating pistachios today I've been eating pistachios all week They might be one of the worst foods Are you talking about goddamn delicious Yeah but that's a problem

That's why they're the worst because you can't stop eating them. No, you delegate them into a little pot. I just got to do the handful technique. That's like a serving for you. It's like a handful. What if you got tiny hands? Well, then it like sorts itself out, doesn't it?

Why? What if you're... If you're saying tiny hands relative to the size of your body. Yeah, like me. No, I feel like for your example, you could have a handful of pistachias and it'd be about a serving. Not with my tiny hands You're not like Donald Saying that

My, I've got short fingers But like quite a big palm Hmm Like wide Yeah Do you ever just look at your hand Yeah I think my hand is quite normal Your hands cringe

My hand is quite normal No it's not very nice Do you want your hands soft or calloused I'm soft I want it soft but callous The knuckles I pull those bits off Really? Doesn't that hurt?

No, because it's just skin Good afternoon, morning, evening all night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to episode 299 of the JAR Media podcast. Today, I'm joined by Dr. Disrespect himself. Put the glasses on.

He wasn't talking by, you idiot. I didn't say... You put your hand up as if he's... Saluting. Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night. Thank you, Dr. Disrespect. And I'm also joined by... the one

you know he looks like the main guy from Mcfly Mcfly himself You do Get a picture Robert Downey Randy My phone's back My phone's downstairs

Get a picture off of the main guy My phone's downstairs then Alex get a picture up of the main guy From Mcfly please He looks like the main guy from Mcfly Which is not a good thing Why

Yeah so I've I've been studying elocution Elocution? Yeah What's that? I went to elocution lessons to fix my voice Your voice Yeah

Well it's one of the things People behind the scenes might not know about the The Belmont brother situation Is how competitive we all are with our elocution Isn't that right James So now Randy has the best Elocution of all of the other idiots

Reen, forget about it Slim Shady, get out of here Who's Raine? Remind me who Rene is I don't keep in contact with my boyfriend I really just like these these wall play characters you have on jar Randy Wien, Slim Shady Can we just get rid of them for good and just have

hammocks. Easy for you to say that they're just characters, but for me, that's my family and my life. So you're saying when, no, you have a severe personality issue and disorder? Well, if you're going to bring it up on the

cast, that's what just a theory, a game theory, a reen theory. Have you ever considered that you aren't real and you're just like,

in the head of someone you know I'm just in the head of Elon Musk Yeah maybe No but like if if you and I Maybe both of us don't exist Then James is just sat in his room I've considered that We're all apart

We're all a figment of James's imagination Yeah specifically If anyone's going to be the main character It's going to be James No that's not true so Yeah because you've had like a season one arc Season two didn't have like the funding of season one season three though that had some interesting twists and turns

no I don't think so I just think I'm the chaotic side character who is kind of a broken matrix kind of kind of deal like I'm not I'm like schneiko this the stop comparing me to him you are similar though you said the breaking out the matrix thing that he always says no I'm saying as in if if if there we are those main characters and side characters I'm the one that shouldn't be

a side character and I'm kind of, the system has gone wrong a bit. Why shouldn't you be a side character? What's wrong with being a supporting character? Oh no, I am a supporting character, that's what I'm saying. No, but who's the main character then? Who, no, you know sometimes when you're just like in a town or city and then you see someone who is the main character? No, but you also see people who are definitely like NPCs.

Yeah, no, this is what I've explained before is that go drive anywhere and everyone's an MPC. Everyone in a car is an MPC. Including yourself or... No, because I drive dangerously. So therefore I'm not an MPC. I'm just a side character. No, but that's part of the coding though.

It's like just a certain percentage will be dangerous. Exactly, okay. But that doesn't mean I'm just not an MPC because when you drive, it is GTA driving. These people aren't real. Nobody in a car is real. That's why they get road wage. Because it's like their only program response. But see how all these people are just working on, um,

like they're subconscious basically they're more concerned what's in the front of the brain is what McDonald's app deals have they got to read you that's been programmed into you that is you

that's one of the main reasons Alex isn't on this episode is because of a funky McDonald's that made him go can we explain that a few weeks ago Alex ate chicken nuggets on McDonald's off of a floor yeah he went down on all fours and it was just like yeah

we went drinking and Alex had to bail out really early because he got a stomach bug because he ate chicken nuggets off the McDonald's table and then you were sit then you were paid it the way you're painting it is just inaccurate no that is true is it not no it's not you you got a stomach bug for me in McDonald's yeah that part's true I thought Alex did yeah that's why he's not here did he poopery all in the kitchen

um I mean he pooperies in most places to be honest okay we're on we're nearly on episode 300 how many things of actual worth do you think we've said over these three one episode one episode you could probably yeah you could probably edit the 300 plus episodes into maybe like half an hour

half an hour of profound statements No, I think, no, I think our ratio of profound statements is actually extremely high per episodes. Because we say some absolutely profound things, but episodes of actual reasonable statements is like, the ratio is so small that it's almost non-existent. We say profound, we do not say reasonable. What? Is profound just crazy then? Yeah, it's profound. Maybe not profound, but perhaps prophetic.

maybe pathetic yeah maybe all of these things and more journal media the prophetic podcast I prefer the shit podcast yeah well fellas there's only a little

dinky one today but actually we haven't shouted out of the Patreon yet have we um big thanks to the Patreon's over at Patreon for supporting the show and making the audio versions possible and they get access to some lovely extra videos on occasion. Um, yes. Yeah, there's Jaffer hours up on there.

There's, uh... There's, we've got this new series where we watch COVID-19 episodes. So you should, uh, definitely... What do you, what does that mean? We literally have loads of COVID-19 video movies that people have sent us in the PO box that we need to watch. What do you mean? Message Alex, message I-H-E

Spam him about COVID-19 movies Yeah, and In this first or second week of each month You get your names read out So we'll do it next episode Weren't we Jim? Yeah, it's all on you. James

Yeah, definitely Rout, root, root It's housekeeping time, guys It's only a little dinky one I only got four Four? Only four dinks. I'm starting with

Alison B. What do they mean when they say flannel during the washcloth discussion? It's like a towel but tiny. It's like a tiny square fabric, more globular towel. Yeah.

It's kind of a globular towel. It's like a sticky little towel. No, it's a bit looser. The fibres aren't as tightly compacted. Yeah, it's meant to be drenched. Yeah, in sloppy shit. What? In soap.

Yeah, which you used to sloppy shit your ass. Do people, like, not say flannel? In America. West of the world. They'll call it like a wash rag or something. A washcloth. That you use your wash rag. It's just like, why, why?

What's wrong with flannel? Yeah. It's not just a t-shirt. What's wrong with eggy bread? No, there's a lot of things wrong with eggy bread. There is nothing. wrong with eggy bread. Let's spend like hours making eggy bread

that James doesn't like. It takes legit is one of the quickest things you can make. James doesn't like this so let's actually have that instead of making a saying that James does like I think I forget these things. The amount of things you like is that's not true. There's been an ongoing thing on this channel about my eating habits

and we know over time that I am opening up to culinary experiences so while I might have said many time ago that I did not like eggy bread, I probably would like it now. Then why are you complaining? Because I haven't had eggy bread since.

Maybe you should make me some eggy bread and maybe I'll like it. Make you're an egg bread, goddam. No, I think James's really controversial food opinions needs to make a comeback. I'll tell you what, the Ainsley McFarlane says

very capitalistic of James to refuse to allow us plebs to own Humans Born Fresh merch Hope the brothers knock some sense into him No, I know I want you to own it But I want to deal with it So then I make the money Hey

We live in a capitalist society man I'm just making a living Georgie says humans born fresh disgusts me It makes me think of like rotten flesh And I don't know why I will never buy a shirt of it I reckon we could change his mind

Yeah Yeah Once they have Walter White With some drip on On a shirt They can't fucking buy it Yeah Or raster homer

Raster homer No that's been done Supreme Simpson That's been done That's not born fresh That's born old I don't know Sandy

Born fresh Boom It could just be like You know Like Randy or me I guess going like No, I know what it's going to be With humans born fresh

Bad What are you trying to point that Wallace and Gwamett Oh Wollett born fresh They are fresh as hell They are fresh in that picture But that's a bit of a copyright concern

Do you know what I think is actually kind of cool Speaking of being fresh What? Rings Yeah, rings are really cool I'm going to ask chonka rings I'm going to disagree What do you mean?

Like Saul Goodman rings Soul Goodman rings Yeah Lapis lazuli Yeah I hard disagree Hard disagree I'm

I'm being the hardest disagree in the world Because I view wings very differently I do I would never wear a ring Unless it's like an engagement ring I like the meaning behind it

But you can have meaning On just the other fingers No no no no No it's special To me But that's why there's one whole finger dedicated to that No, but these are all reserved only for the engagement wing.

So that one I'm going to have is going to be, have, be of more significance because it's like the one. I, it's cute. How do men buy rings? What do you mean how do men buy wings? You go down to your local blacksmith, you ask what you were after, and then he goes, dang, dang.

No, you can actually machine more. If you never got a ring before, you fucking dumb ass that. I can machine you a wing for the elves. You don't need to go to a blacksmith to get a wing. You do? Where do you get them? You can literally just cut one from a block of metal. Yeah, a blacksmith, that's what you go.

No, no, no, no, on a machine. I don't, I'm not a blacksmith. I don't know how to cut metal. On a machine, on a lathe. I'm not a blacksmith. I'm not going to cut metal. You don't need to be a blacksmith to use a lave. You just have to be James.

What about glasssmith? You mean a glass ring? You mean, yeah, get a glass ring would be cool. We can forge one. We should. We should get wings. Like rings that have like J, A, R and you're like, jar. We should...

Yeah, we could have like this gauntlet and split it up into like little gems each. So when we come together it makes, you know. JAR. JAR together I think we should all get a tassie nope like one that goes across

all of our backs so when we put our backs together it's like it has a message yeah it has the coordinates to one of our qualms yeah it's like a map yeah if you decode

if you get us all in it together naked then you can find a clue yeah well everyone should have like part of a map with each like a special hidden treasure yours can be the crime coordinates mine can be some kind of buried treasure I know what the buried treasure

I'm going to say this now I want JAR to make an ARG and I the fuck is an ARG an ARG it's one of those games it's an alternative reality game where you make you basically lead the viewers on and it's up to the viewers to find the reason you remember

the cicada 1991 it's like you have a website you have like a website it's not a website it's not a website it's any media like Petscope well it's it's on the internet

okay so the best way describe it is you know year zero no the nine inch nine inch nine inch nails the album the cover that's an ARG he announced that album for an ARG

and uploaded that video of that that album cover monster online randomly and people worked out and then the end result was him announcing the year ago album like anonymously yeah that's the point you you lead people on and it's up to them to find the answer and the answer is something so is fnaf an argy no kind of that's different it's like slender man it's only an argy if it extends into reality yeah it has to extend into reality it was it like you find an article right that it was it was it like you find an article right that it was it was was like the bite of 87 or whatever right but if instead of that it was like an actual real world incident and then maybe it was like a fake real world incident but if you google it a thing comes up that tells you about it but that website's fake which leads you to more clues it's the difference between that and like a creepy pasta there's a story that you know as a story and

a rg blurs the lines but i thought the whole thing with like but i thought loads of creepy pastas try to come across as if they are real and that's like the whole life thing. Yeah but no ARGs aren't like that because it's a game you have to be involved and people work out. People have to take part and they have to get them, they have to find out the next step and then that's the next step

leads you on. It's like an escape room but on the internet. Yeah. Oh. And the reward is like a bit of information. Halo 2 teased the game through an ARG by posting obsecure stuff on websites and it led to an email like a website that was just

like the Halo 2 logo. Yeah, yeah. I know about the Halo 2 one, actually. So, hey, ARDs have been around for ages. Yeah. So now it's like a big thing where they'll just upload weird YouTube videos. They'll upload weird YouTube videos. Yeah, where it's just like, there's been ones, there's loads of channels that go into it

where they'll use other things from 4chan and feed it in to them be coordinates that go, then it's another clue and it's you're bouncing around all this stuff. And the end result might be a Spider-Man fucking game from 2005. And that's just the game. So was that, like, do you remember that Shia Leboeuf, 4chan thing? Yes. Well, kind of. Not weird.

No, 4chan turned it into an ARG. Shai Leboeuf wanted no part. He didn't want it to be a challenge, but they turned it yet to a challenge. Okay. I think for me, what throws me off is calling it an alternate reality game, because I just picture, like, going into... No, people do it differently. Some people have it as like, is this thing, but then other people,

who go into the supernatural make it like an alternative reality where it's like there's monsters in this random world and they find out through these clues on the media from our world and it portrays a story of another world and then the end result is like the story of that world but the us we have to find those steps there's loads of interesting stuff about it where people have taken it funny way there's even ARGs that evolved around the pizza gate of Hillary Clinton and the pedophile wing around that and that ARG ended up at the Spider-Man game just because it's a funny Spider-Man game. Like, you see where it goes? It's like... People go to extreme lengths. There's just, yeah, there's always... I've always seen that term and just been like, I don't really know what I'm talking about. They're really interesting if you just go into them, because it is just like a really harmless, like fun thing, but it's like a mystery.

It's like, oh, this could be deeper. There's a few things like that, um, like... Do you know what, like, homestuck? Homestruck? What? Homestruck? I don't think it's... an ARG? No, it's not, no, I'm just mean in terms of things that I've always, like, seen people talking about or read about, but never actually understood, like, what, I think

it's like something that's... I'm stuck, I don't know, I don't know. I just, like, seen people talk about it for, like, years, and I've, like, never cared enough. Is that just a comic? I think it is, like, some kind of web comic, or I don't know. Fuck sake. Why are you doing that? Ooh. There's a little hair. Why? Just don't. Jim? Yes? You got one more here.

Hit me. I'm going to hit you with the telekinestic man. The Funko Pop shit is actually out of control. Here in Australia, there used to be a popular line of stores called Game Traders. It was basically another EB Games or GameStop kind of thing, except they had a strong focus on buying and selling older video games that didn't sell anymore. Along with accessories and other old merchandise, now there are only a few game traders left,

and the old games part has become a few shelves inside a store otherwise filled with Funko Pops, anime statues, board and card games, and the same junk you see at literally every other store now anyway. E.B. Games already has its own Zing Pop Culture side store, and even J.B. Hi-Fi, our leading store nationwide for all media entertainment and electronics, has started their own sections

for pre-faded Marvel T-shirts, funco pops and harry potter ones it's quite sad to see that the the homogenization of content and products has extended so far that even walking around a shopping center with the intent of buying things feels more cynical than it already was before what people people buy them i guess yeah people are they're they are huge aren't they like what's their face from Aria Stark from Thingy. She's got like a funkopop collection. People think they're genuinely like,

kind of epic. Who designs them? That's my biggest problem. It's like... Yeah, they're horrible. Yeah. If it's a collectible, it's supposed to like look good. You want to be proud to display it.

Um? They look like NFTs. Yeah. They're like real life... NIFT. tease. Yeah. So like, I like Funko Pop, so I think they're kind of cute. Yeah, I've got a few. I like the ones of

like YouTubers, Fun Toot and they're YouTube of FunkoPers. There's a knockoff brand. And to be honest, going to be honest, why do you buy a Funko Pop of your favorite content creator? Because your favorite content creator changes. That's a human thing, right?

But like, you can say that about like your favorite band or whatever. No, but exactly. But I think even more so of like YouTubers. It's like you just kind of go through phases of interest and therefore content creators. Like I have only like two or three I've actually stuck with. And that isn't just I like personalities that goes far deeper. So those are the U-2s you buy. No, because they don't sell U-Sews because they're not YouTubers.

What's a YouTube? They're Funko Popes, but YouTubers. When I'm Alex, there's a... No. Uh, yeah. Why would you mention him? Look, I was trying to think of a YouTube Yeah, no, no, we don't mention any other YouTubers on this channel

We should do that We mentioned KSI I'd get a KSI one Yeah You know, if you can press it in and does his laugh They're not by it Yeah My opinion of KSI is

Switched so much throughout the years Really? Yeah Well, how so? I think I think he's in his best era Hmm, but his mute top of the pop era Yeah, pop music

Yeah, and fighting people. No, I liked his Ogeo when he was screaming at FIFA. I watched his videos and I like them. When he opened FIFA packs and screamed. Yeah, he got excited. There was some drama recently with his brother or something where he was caught

like botting. Like his dad bought like bots or something to boost his sub numbers or something. Everyone does that. Yeah, they don't. I actually did that. Yeah. I always thought that was

like a weird thing. It's like man. No, everyone bots. I bought. How do you know? I'm Alex Bots. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a stat that was like, I can't remember if this is too low or not, but it's like 40% of like all traffic online.

It's just fake. Fake bullshit. Yeah. It's probably more to be honest. Yeah. Just bots. And good. Bots make things better.

We're interactive with NPCs all the time in the world world, so why wouldn't be online? 40%. but like how these are like obvious bots no but that's that's one of the Twitter things too right is like just so much of Twitter it's just

like bots automated just trash like it's just not real like a bunch of it but like what are these bots saying and what's their purpose man man boy boy man is a really interesting bot account because that's like a learning algorithm yeah an AI that's getting smarter by the day yeah and I I

I kind of, I'm trying to fight it. Posting cute picks. Elon Musk, can you get with of the bot known as man, man, boy, boy, man. Go spam this guy. Yeah. Are you going to be paying seven bucks a month for Twitter premium? Is Twitter premium a thing? Yes.

What's the point of, no, you get blue check? Elon's been tweeting about it because he's like, Yeah, blue checks aren't verification. He bought Twitter and Twitter doesn't make any money, so he's like trying to, I guess, publicly brainstorm ideas on how to make money. So now he's proposing the idea of making it like a subscription service where if you're verified, if you pay like seven bucks a month, then you get to keep your checkmark and have a few perks. Why did he buy it if it makes no money?

Yeah. But even that is a stupid strategy anyway, because they're only apparently about like 300,000 verified accounts. anyway so like the pool is that all yeah

wow but that's always been my issue with the very like it's so strange that it's this like status symbol on the fucking website

and it's like this whole like that's just the class it's just the class system but as a fucking app um yeah it sucks

so now the jokes are like I'm leaving I'm going forever now but that's like when people were saying when Donald Trump became president I'm moving to Canada

you're not you're still addicted to the god damn bird I'm gonna delete it yeah sure you are no I will because at the end of day I can get my Japanese car post some elsewhere being cartoon dot me and mincawa

yeah you you shouldn't be on Twitter for car stuff yeah yeah Guys, I got something to announce Why? No Um

I finished Dark Souls What the fuck? Okay I'm taking my leave I did Jesus Christ Yeah When?

I did it How? I finished I beat Gwyn this morning My first try This morning Really? Yeah

Did you summon Salat? No, I didn't summon anyone Wow Yeah How did you beat him? Um I figured out pretty quick That the AI

was pretty susceptible to just like moving him around those like rocks that are in the room what weapon we're using I had this like sithe

thing okay really long range so I could just go so yeah I kicked his ass you rated him

I still proper fighted him there did you yeah yeah yeah it was good um where do you rate the game it's a really damn good game right it's really fucking good um but the the whole meme of like

them just running out of time it's like the most true yeah the true shit like the some of the areas towards the end are like actual shit um yeah they're horrible like not fun just unfair yeah you can it's it to me it's obvious that like they had an idea idea for a lot of areas and then they kept the ideas for the areas at the end of the game but didn't flesh them out and like playtest them yeah it's just like okay this area is dark and that's it oh yeah the the giants the team of the giants yeah that sucks with those like skeleton dogs because you did what i think is the best one first what the dukes archives and the crystal caverns really you liked the archives

I don't, I don't like it With the invisible Indiana Jones bridges It's better than the dark place It's better than the lava place It's better than I mean yeah Probably compared And like the better chaos and all that

Yeah That whole lava area is like I was like laughing Yeah it's like Embarrassingly awful Like there's Like there's um demons that are just like everywhere Like the boss were used

the asses you oh the legs yeah you know in the painting yeah there's that bit

where there's like a corpse on a bridge like a dragon corpse just the front half yeah and it like breathes goop if you go behind it its legs are there lying

yeah and if you jump attack the legs they stand up yeah no I did that oh did you yeah I was really confused

by that I got really stuck in that painted area too yeah Um, so I just wanted to get out of the, um, so that wasn't prepared. Mm-hmm. Because that's a really well-known, like, skip. Yeah, yeah, smack the legs or whatever.

Because I was like, I was looking at those legs before smacking them, just like, my eyes couldn't figure out what I was even looking at. Mm-hmm. This is a mound of shit. And then you smack it. I just like, stand up. Yeah, it's really weird. It's really bizarre.

And then they just copy-pasted those legs across a plumbus. lane of lava and they were like well that's that's that area yeah let's move on to the next one yeah it's really quite bizarre and it's why when people complain about the latter half of eldermring it's like there's nothing a bed to that yeah it's nowhere near like dark swords one yeah but it's also like in elden ring the design is as such so like if you get sworn by group of enemies and it's in the open world area you can like just get your horse out just escape yeah yeah it's it's way less like restrictive which i think helps it woman yeah yeah in despite all that trash masterpiece yeah yeah no i like everything

thing about the design for the most part, like gameplay's still really good um it does have good variety despite it just kind of falling apart towards the end yeah and that a kind of difficulty

spike like like you just can't beat like more than like two enemies at once pretty much you have to do that thing or you like lure them out yeah um towards the end anyway yeah the skill ceiling is pretty nutty though

some of the boss runs like become really cruel like the the four kings one is horrible yeah getting back there it's just like what are you doing this and that that was an actual like bit of bad game design that when i first got to that four kings area and didn't know that um that boss was there i didn't have that ring so you can survive the fall in that like yeah it's it's one of those things that's like if you know you know but you go in there then you get blocked by the fog wall

and I didn't have the ring so I couldn't drop down so I was actually trapped in there you must have had a hand with ban um the way I got out of it was if I quit into the main menu and reload back in and that worked but yeah it's

they weren't afraid of punishing you for mistakes like you couldn't have known were mistakes because it's not like a quest marker pops up and it's like oh to enter this arena you need to get this ring. It will just let you

enter the arena and then have no idea how to put the whole the thing I was dreading most was the whole like blight town thing but it's actually kind of fine once you know where you're going yeah it's pretty quick and i think i said to you before it's the it's the second and third play through that are the best if you think you'll go back and play it um because once you know like

the checklist of things you have to do that's when the freedom comes into it and you can like do more challenging things earlier get a big reward and then it's checked off the checklist so you don't have to do that thing so you can do like all the horrible stuff first yeah and then have a breeze later on or well yeah and it's it's definitely it's just like elder ring or whatever where it does have this huge reputation for being like impossibly hard but it yeah yeah the hard part is just learning like what it wants yeah that's the challenge because there's just so much shit going on but once you know it like yeah but i wanted to get it done so i could play dark souls three yeah i've noticed on

specifically YouTube a resurgence of like Dark Souls 3 love really since Aldermring because people started pooping on Eldam ring and now it's like looking back at Dark Souls 3 people are loving it really because I'd always heard that

I don't know I've never seen anyone talk about Dark Souls 3 like one or Eldon room no they don't and parts of it don't deserve it But the actual gameplay part is when they made that gameplay that's like, oh, you can just play this for the moment's moment gameplay. Like Dark Souls 1, I wouldn't want that gameplay in like, it's separated from the world that it's in and the level design and everything. Whereas Dark Souls 3, you can just put me up against like two enemies and I'll have fun. It doesn't matter the scenario.

Yeah, it is hilarious because I did like start Dark Souls 3. did like the beginning bit. It is really funny, like, doing that jump. Didn't they make Bloodbourne just before three? Yeah, before three. So, like, in that jump from going from one to two, Blood Born, then three, like, just the, not only the fidelity of, like, the animations,

but more so how, like, quick everything is in comparison, because, like, one is so slow. Yeah, which I think is to one's benefit for making it its own thing. Yeah. Because three is kind of a common I wouldn't say criticism But like comparison After they

Every single game they've made after Bloodborn It's just been like All right speed it up Speed up speed up speed up speed up So In like Dark Souls 1 You could get through that game with never rolling Yeah

And they like basically never do that type of animation Where the Was completely designed around trying to trick you where they'll, like, hold. Yeah. For just to throw off your own. Which I think they use way too much in Eldon Ring. Yeah.

It gets frustrated. Yeah, where you're just, like, waiting. Mm. Yeah, it messes up the flow of combat a little bit in Alderman. Um, I was noticing a little bit in three from what I played. Yeah, yeah. And there is a little bit in, in Dark Souls 1. Um, but it's normally like the smaller enemies and they'll just do like a...

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I really like how it feels so far. Yeah. And the aesthetic and everything. I'll be interested to see which you have a better time with. Well, it was, it's so, like, reminiscent of, like, Eldon Ring. Like, the gap between one and Eldon Ring and three in Eldon Ring. Like, it's much closer than three.

Well, Eldon Ring is, like, totally based off of Dark Souls 3. Yeah, yeah, and you can feel it, you can see it even. Then they, like, reuse a bunch of enemies and stuff. Loads. Yeah, enemies that are pretty much re-skinned animations that are identical, I'm pretty sure. It does feel really good, though. I just started as what they call it, tarnished, like you're naked with a club. Oh, really?

Yeah, because that's what I did in Aldermring, too. Did you? For the first save, I actually completed. Yeah. That's why I started. Oh, right. I like it, because then you can just like, you just like, use what you kind of find as you pick up and figure out like what you actually like

yeah instead of like committing and then if you ever want to respect you're not like tilted in any direction yeah I'm glad I'm finally there and I did have a good time with Dark Souls 1 yeah it's been a long time coming you bought it back in 2016 Dark Souls 1 if not earlier um but yeah I just didn't get on with it Mm-hmm. And I didn't know what it wanted from me. Because I was used to games like Skyrim, you know, where it's all pretty... The gameplay is almost like secondary to everything else that's going on.

But it doesn't... Sekaro just unlocked some things, you know? Yeah. And I still think Sekaro is the best from soft game. Hmm. Yeah, I can see that. It scratches my itch the most. it's yeah there's no like convolution it is just keep it simple stupid and like

just take this thing make it feel really good take it to its natural extremes and like every way you can wrap up there's no yeah like every boss is like pretty memorable yeah um yeah you don't have like the like the demon like coming back like four times of the Aldermring like boss reused and stuff every single beat is like yeah really memorable

100 yeah I get it though do you have any unique opinions I think it's impossible to have unique opinions on Dark Souls one yeah like the do you know how

just how many like like a video essays or whatever I've watched on like Eldon Ring alone yeah I've watched a million on every single one of the games yeah and after a while it starts just becoming this mass of like

yes yeah the word like masterpiece stops like even having any meaning when you yeah you know when you've watched like five Dark Souls essays and at the beginning of all of them they're like okay I know it's not that rare it's like not a new idea

that Dark Souls is a masterpiece but hear me out like five of them start with that same thing they'll start with that there's always the caveat where it's like look I know the game's like awesome but here's my yeah and it is yeah it's super hard to come up with like a mm-hmm a different angle on it because it's all like it's it's crazy to me that these games have had like the the YouTube attention that they have mm and just what Eldon Ring do to propel, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's like going back now.

I think that's the reason Dark Souls 3 has been going crazy. And they just recently fixed the servers because they were down for like a year or something. Because that was, I didn't, that was one thing I was surprised by in Dark Souls 1 was like how

all that stuff was in there. Like it does have the AI invasions and the message system and everything. And it's functionally pretty similar to like how it is an out of yeah um well i think just how much of a key yeah no it's such it's like such a core um like system to exploring and everything like like i don't know how like those invisible walls or whatever like would like well i think that's exactly the point yeah yeah that's what's so cool about it yeah i that was

my favorite thing about playing elder ring was engaging with the social systems yeah i i think that was the focus of the game and it's awesome in Dark Souls 1 it's good and it's amazing in Dark Souls 3. Dark Souls 3 now isn't pretty well with like the fight clubs and stuff it's so much fun true yeah but that that was another thing was because I watched you play a fair amount of one and three and two to be honest back in the day so like I was getting to like little combat encounters that I would have seen like I remembered seeing you doing the run to the Four Kings quite a few times So when I was doing it, I was like, oh, this is triggering these, like, memories of seeing, like, these exact bits, but now I'm playing it, so I can, like, relate.

Because I'd always watch you, like, playing it, especially doing, like, the invisible Indiana Jones bridge thing, just being, like, how do you even, like, know what to do? This looks like such unfair horse shit. And that area does have some unfair horse shit, to be honest, but kind of cool. Yeah. It's just full of like if you know, you know. Mm-hmm. Sort of shit. That boss there was probably the one I struggle with most.

Out of all of them in the game. The dragon guy? Yeah. Really? Because at first, my guy wasn't fast enough when I was trying to cut his tail off so I could get that sword. But then I kept going cast. The way he's animated though as well is terrible.

Mm-hmm. Like he, because he just like slides. you're trying to get his tail and then he's just like boop yeah and it was more like the run there like just getting there every time

it's just like painful I remember when I was first playing the game I just couldn't understand it like the amount of times I died on those invisible walkways yeah and it is like really confusing

but on playing it again I did like all of it first try And they killed the boss with these And It's that thing where like it's I think it's designed to be replayed It's why when you finish the game It just starts again

Like right after the previous It's just back into it But then like I beat like Gravelord Nito first time I'd be Gwen the first time Well that's the thing The first one of those that you do Will be the hardest

and they'll get progressively easier no matter which one you do because you're accumulating power from each of them so whichever one you do first is going to be the hard as well yeah yeah that makes sense

just some like really frustrating enemies too like those pinwheel things yeah the skeletons like yeah they're really they're like from Dark Souls 3 the speed of

put into Dark Souls 3 Souls 1. But they do that thing where it's like, yeah, one or two you can deal with it, but then they put like five. Yeah, there's like nine in a dark room. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it is cruel beyond. How do you feel about like the universe compared to Eldermere? Um, I do like it, especially in Dark Souls 1, it's got like a special. special personality to it. But they're like kind of more demonic tinge. Yeah, it's much darker fantasy than Aldermring, I think.

Yeah. But I don't know, Eldon Ring kind of has a lot more like horrifying designs, I feel like. I feel like once they go to Bloodbourne, they unleash something into this world. Yeah, like the more Eldritch horror type. stuff. But I think it works in Dark Souls favor and, like, uniqueness that, um,

because, like, uh, Bloodbourne, it's like cosmic horror stuff. Mm. Elder, like, things. Um, Sekaro, kind of to an extent with the dragon stuff, it's like

these things in another realm, like, beyond our understanding. And, Eldon Ring, they all sort of have that narrative same sort of through line. Dark Souls is like it feels more like

Greek mythology to me. Yeah, it's like the medieval kind of European. And it's like Anolondo being sort of the home of the gods. It's like the Greek mountain with all the gods on it. It feels more like that to me

than like cosmic Older horror And like the Like the bosses are really memorable In the first game Whereas it Yeah Like Eldon Ring I guess way muddier

There are a few That like stand out of my mind But I guess There are just so many And they were used in ways That made them Less memorable Than a Grave Lord Nito

Then a But I'd argue Eldon Ring Is less about boss fights than Dark Souls Well yeah Because you have the whole exploration angle And that's the story that comes from that Yeah

I'm glad I finally played it then I'm glad you finally played it Actually finished it Got to the end Only someone once Like a real person Really? Was that through choice Or lack of

I just didn't know I thought it was like an AI one And it just happened to be a person Oh really? Yeah Yeah I love some summoning in Dark Souls 1.

Mm-hmm. I never got invade... I didn't really understand how getting invaded worked. And I never was. Really? Yeah. Apart from like the

NPC AI control. Yeah. I'd say that's the worst aspect of the game though, is PVP. In Dark Souls 1, it just doesn't function. But how do you even get invaded? By being human. If you're able to summon, you're able to be invaded.

Oh. I guess the player counts just too low for... Yeah, well, you got very lucky. but yeah it's totally busted what like the it doesn't like OP people can just invade OPE people can get way to OPE and if you know like a few tricks

you can like backstab people from pretty much from front of them the way the game works like it's it just feels horrible you yeah and the remaster did nothing to improve it hmm yeah So once I've done three, there's no real, like, good way to play Bloodbourne right now.

Yeah. I guess I'm pretty much done until Bloodborn comes to PC. I'd be interested for you to play Dark Souls 2 at some point. Ugh. The difference between, like, the, remembering, like, watching you play 1 and 3 compared to 2 is that, like, I at least saw some enjoyment for me. you playing like one and three or all the memories i associate with you playing two are like just you being like this is just so bullshit this is so fucking no but i'd like you to see it

see why and try and be unbiased because some people love it and it did have a few good ideas i can admit that but like i don't know i just want you to understand or or disagree with me Yeah, I might do it, I don't know. We'll just see how you feel when you finish the rest. Yeah, once I'm done with three, if I've still got the itch. See after these messages. Buy bear bear, buy bear bear, I do declare buy bear bear bear. Bear bear shirts and mug available now. Check the description below.

Oh, I love... Oh, fire! Ha ha ha ha! Alex, don't put thoughts in his head. Oh! I did watch have a video and it's like the moment you mentioned fire, it's like thought in head. Boom. Hello guys.

Crazy moment. No, not crazy enough. I think jar can be more destructive. No, it's in my fucking house. Ha ha. Fire. Look how venantula my... You look like you have a pouch.

I do have a pouch of sorts. I look like one of the big Lebowski nihilists. You do? Would you say you relate to nihilism? No, I've actually got this whole mission against nihilism. Because I feel like it's... It's too easy to default. into those

thought patterns, you know? Depends. That's why my favourite movies are the Big Lebowski, are everything everywhere all at once. Anti-Nyelism movies. I disagree. I think the most anti-nealism movies are the movies like Transformers

and Terminator 2. Yeah, I've always thought that about them too. Yeah, no, Transformers definitely when... I like Rick and Morty. When Optimus is making that speech about being there and Lincoln Park slowly fades in Not that gives me hope When are they gonna make Rick and Morty too? Hmm

Maybe that's why Rick and Morty sucks now Or maybe it always sucked Yeah Is that too much truth It's been a while since I've been stationed here Oh Oh Oh

Can I have a little subpoor? Oh, fuck off, get your own fuck, you fuck? You do this to me. I never do that. That's so disgusting. I can see your top flip when you're looking like a Simpsons character. Looking like a what? Like Lenny from the Simpsons.

So his top lip went like... Like when Chris Chenna had this lip surgery. Jay, you're referencing saying quite specific but even I can't picture Lenny Mouth Lennie Simpsons

Mouth Your top live went in the glass like Lennie from the Simpsons He kind of looks like James Well you really do A lot for my self-confidence Don't you

Lenny? What's wrong with Lenny? Yeah, what's wrong with... No, look at that. I want to be like a sexy being. Not a Lenny. Okay, now, now that. James wants to be a sexy being. I feel like that would be a good one of these. That's fucking true.

He's looking kind of dapper. He is a... A slick fella. Closited as well, isn't it? Lenny and Carl. Isn't our goal to be sexy? Isn't that like the goal in life? If you want to be toxicly masculine.

Oh, damn. Sexy team. Oh, fucking hell. Oh. I'm saving that. She's kind of like, um, uh, who's saying family guy who's like a pervert? Um, no, I have a quagmire. I think, but not scary.

I think, no, you just, you just said wanting to be sexy is, is, is, is toxicly masculine. It's not. I think men, it is. wanting to be sexy isn't like it's toxicly masculine because you're associating masculinity with heterosexuality here because you want to look sexy

for both you just want to be sexy for everyone sexy for both yeah that's what I was going to say so surely it depends on what your definition of sexy means well so you're saying gay people can't be toxicly masculine

no check mate I just think masculinity isn't a heterosexual thing No, I never said that No, I'm just saying that But I'm saying trying to be presentable is Toxically masculine No, I don't think so

Depends on your role I don't think there's masculine It's toxic masculinity and looking presentable for your job That's potentially the most toxicly masculine though You see this I don't make myself Show up in the office Monday morning What does I mean you think

Um, sex fiend Deviant Pest? Pest, pest for sure HR's problem Yeah, it is absolutely a HR problem What does human resources mean? So human resources, they manage the resources No, I mean, break it down

Is there resource humans? Yes Are humans a resource to them? Yes, that's what labor is, that's what being in is, you're just a resource, just to be allocated and managed. You just wojacked me hard. So, what's your point of view? There's a party scene. Do you want to go? Sure, if I'm invited.

Bing! Honestly, I, if I'm not invited to something, I won't go. Ever. If you are invited to something, you probably won't go. Okay, no, explain. What, I mean... When have you last invited me sung what I'd do? didn't go like last week what which was I'm not telling you exactly you can't bring up an

argument and not tell me about it sunflower staffs forever can I have it no we got a new rule you can only talk if you're holding the staff okay okay oh well welcome have we god no this is question you can cut up this hell have we ever considered actually doing a jar cast

where we actually drink we do the cast with the intention of getting more shit face the longer it goes so like by an hour and a half we're fucked yeah we've always been

up with this idea but you were anti it well no why don't we do that then I will literally do that next weekend no not next weekend well we should actually do

a cast where we actually visibly get fucked and that would be amusing. On porn hub. If you want. Beh-behre! Welcome to the second half of the cast or we answer questions left on the subreddit,

just like you can do over at the suggestion thread at R-slash-Jal Media. Not Fnaf. Or Fnaf. R-slash-F. Honestly, our-slash-Fnaf. can go there if you're a bit of a troublemaker yeah don't we don't support support trouble making but if you are a troublemaker then that might be what you

do Sven can get us going here can Alex do the try not to smile challenge to Jim and James right I'm I'm awful at not smiling because I'm actually quite a nice person we'll start with James then okay I'm gonna go three two one not not smile okay and then you got to not smile okay yeah James is trying his best to disassociate one and a two and a three two one not smile no you're cheating man yeah you primed it okay take the hand away and you got to Okay, hands away. Three, two, one, not smile.

Right, Jim, ready? I guess I've won that one. A one, a two. Ready? Wait, no, I've got a request. Can you not say not smile? That makes it not fair. Yeah, because that becomes a brain fuck.

That's like a mind fuck, because then you're thinking, you're being told what to do what you're going to do. smile then no that's no just three to one go okay three two one

not my mind was so shit you just got dissociate just dissociate in your mind then you'll be fine just think to the day you were born but that's the funniest day of my

life Bill Hader Gaming has a dark one Even though it's not it's not wean anymore It's not wean It's a dark one how dark? Oh right What kind of darkness are we on about I know the Halloween special was last cast But I have a bit of a morbid question

What's the craziest thing slash animal You've ever seen on the side of the road I asked because not long ago I passed a headless deer on the highway It was undoubtedly roadkill But a clean precise cut had been made at the neck exposing every single pass-a-by

to the contents within. I think someone must have taken the head to a taxidermist to be put on a plaque. Yeah, no, that's probably very likely. Mm. But then they've had to cut off the head on the side of the road. But how did it get out of the car?

Like, fell out the car. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how well-written a lot of our questions are? No, there's sometimes one that is not the best one and Alex really struggles to actually read it. challenge that. But like this, like putting in the extra effort, that, that bit where he says

about the passerbyes or whatever. It's like, that's just a... That's painting an image. That's what the writer is. It's like poetry, you know? So I just want to say thank you for that. And everyone else who puts that bit of effort in. But I, I don't know, a lot of roadkill is like, you know, you just get desensitized to it. But I can take this in a different direction because I have a cat and she wants killed a squirrel

which on the side of the road a squirrel no big deal in your garden it's like what the fuck and she ate its leg just its leg so one leg so there's a picture on my phone somewhere but she just left like a whole squirrel

with three legs and squirrels are pretty big rodents She ate one leg So they had three legs left No, I was just in a little bit of a goonscape And I was just thinking that squirrels have two legs and two arms I was just like, there's three legs

They do pick things up and like So maybe there's our hands Maybe they do They walk and run on them and then use them as hands Yeah, they're quite ambidextrous aren't they Yeah, but like gorillas walk on their hands But do they like They don't hide nuts and things do they?

How's that relevant? squirrels and how do you know they don't I know they don't how I've watched enough documentaries to know that they've got more important things like honey like coconuts coconuts and gorillas the guerrillas on the coconut island anyway I've got an actual answer for this okay shit um I saw like a badger and it was really sad no no no hedgehogs Yeah, that's more common though, unfortunately. I've seen some fantastically splattered hedgehogs there.

Like almost like laminated, yeah. It's all those range rovers. No, yeah, because their tyres are widened up. No, this is the thing I don't understand they're always splattered in the middle of the road. These people are clearly aiming for them because there's no way a badger because on a road, the roads are normally the tires and the way, because they're called, there's a term for it. So on roads have a lot of HDVs, you get tramlines. Where that's been worn down, so if you have a certain vehicle, you can stick into tram lines.

Yeah, yeah. Wheel was no matter of the car, always that distance. So how headro's been killed there? Where the wheels aren't. People are aiming. No, I think they're trying to kill them. No, I don't think so. I reckon it could be a case of, like, animal going along, head height is like the bonnet.

And then the bonnet just... Head height, the bonnet? Yeah. What animals were talking about? I don't know, like a hedgehogs are tiny Yeah, they're not getting splattered by the bonnet No, but they can easily go under Every, no, they can go under every car

No, but if it's crossing the road and then it gets to like the middle And someone's a little bit to the left, a little bit to the right All it takes is one bit of that animal To get hit by the wheel and then it's fucked No, but that's the thing that's in the middle I always see them in the middle And there's no part of the bodywork could normally hit that Even on my car which I've had lowered by like 50 mill

We'll easily clear a hedgehog the majority of road And judging that... No, but judging that the majority of road cars are fucking motor motor, they've got the ground clearance to not smack a hedgehog. Speaking of wild animals, I recorded like a Sardonicast the other day where I was told...

Remember I showed you that video of that coyote that was in that park when I was there. Yeah. In that same park, there was a fucking black bear. It was like... If I'd known that that was... Yeah, you would have been... I'd not go to that fucking shotgun or something.

Oh, my God. That's horrifying. Like, hedgehogs and badgers, that's bad enough. But imagine, like, like an elk or... Well, no, because elks are a bigger issue because of the size of them and an elk, a proper big elk is like... They do tests specifically for crashing as elk, because it's like... You car's done.

Yeah. And you're done. And you're done. Yeah, and you're done. which I developed the technology for what tanks no for dodging elk you're not supposed to slow down for an elk

honestly you're not supposed to slow down for anything you should speed up yeah faster velocity more chance of making them explode therefore safer for you or it just gets launched like over the car yeah if you break and then hit it it might just go yeah hopefully the idea is to go fast enough where like

you just take the legs out and its body stays exactly where it is and then it drops. Yeah, behind you. Behind you. I think the safest suit is to not being a motomoto. Hmm. Being a...

We know that's not possible. Being a smart car. No, motorbike. You're not going to hit anything on a motorbike. You're on a motorbike. Well, the thing with a motorbike is that if anything dangerous happens, you can just step off.

Yeah. You just have to be a parachute. Jog. Yeah. Yeah, it's like GCHO when you jump off a bike, like GCHO Vice City, you just stand up, instantly stand up, and the bike just keeps going.

You're fine. Nobody ever has accents on motorcycles. Auntie Cholos Asian Queen says, at the time me writing this, my birthday will be in four days. I'll turn 21. And since I've been watching since the start of the new channel, that means I've been a Jafan for seven years,

a third of my entire life. How do you guys feel about long-time viewers almost growing up with your content. Thanks for all the years of entertainment. Here's to the next seven. Um, sorry. How do we feel about what? Sorry? Having viewers grow up with our content, with us as influences in their life. I'm sorry. I'm the opposite of sorry. Yeah, I'm your welcome. Yeah, I'm your welcome.

If I had more control of a jar media, you'd be normal. I think it's very sweet and it's nice to be something consistent for someone in their life. I hope that we've actually had like a positive influence on them and they've become better, stronger, meaner people. Especially meaner. Yeah, me only mean. Crueler. Nasty.

Yeah, be horrible. More viscous. More viscouser. Jude Howe has got themselves in a bit of trouble. Who? Jude Howe? Why? Hello, Mingers.

I'm a university student and occasionally wear the dick the head shirt to uni, partially because I like the t-shirt and also partially because I hope that one day I'll meet a fellow jarling. I do, however, have a bunch of friends, and they find the t-shirt very funny. Since I first wore it, they've asked me what it's referencing, and I've had lots of fun refusing to tell them, whilst also dropping hints, ones they'll never really understand. Fast forward to today, I've been good friends with them for a year and a half, and it's finally reached breaking point one of my friends took an image of the t-shirt

and reverse image searched it to discover the jar fandom page for dig the head I'm now terrified that they can very easily discover a lot of my jokes are just directly ripped from the yogs thoughts classic and I'm doing fucked it um yeah

no if you're going to base your personality around someone else or a group of other people don't give anybody any way of discovering that original the originality of your they fell into the the reverse psychology tease

prophecy yeah it's like a so high and mighty on that knowledge that only they had yeah like they had this comedy that this untapped comedy yeah that only we're really privy to

that we bestow upon our wonderful viewers um i'd say i'd say like like he's like a psychopath wearing that t-shirt like a psychopath murderer like that netflix show you know how that you know how they get to a point where they kind of want to be caught yeah you're like when they're caught they're just ready to let loose and just because they all they want is just ears to listen yeah yeah so by wearing that shirt that is essentially what you're doing you feel guilty that you've been a little leech on james's armpit for these many years and you maybe you want to rid yourself with that burden so that's why you're wearing the t-shirt and you wanted people to discover that you were nothing more than

a blood-filled little leech suckling on the armpit of sir james yeah pretty much um cool Would James be a, would he be a knight, a squire? James? A, um, a pastor. He'd be pastor. I know you're the pastor. James would be conchiglione.

Wigotony, actually. I know, Alex is the pastor. Because he's the, the guardian and the... What about the maister? James would be the, the eunuch. And I'd be, um, the, the, what do you call it? The bard. The bard?

You are the bard. I'm no bard. You are a little bard. No, I'm like just the, a common cretan. You know? Common cretan. Yeah. Um, there was this crazy one from Zach Moore 3.

I'm currently listening to the Curry episode. As if that wasn't crazy enough. And I literally just realized an extreme jar crossover. I'm pretty sure I'm related in some way to famous jockey Willie Carson. I'm pretty sure my mom, sorry I'm northern, telling me that. Update. Here's my great-grandma's cousin. Pretty cool, Mingers, you have horse royalty in your viewer base.

How does that make you feel, peasants? Is that... Neal before horse royalty. Maybe I'm Jim's lost-long cousin or something. That would explain why I relate to you. him in so many ways. Anyway, thanks, Minger, and Game Bear. Well,

well, we've got... No, stop. Stop, okay. We need to... Okay, what do you want to say, James? Peasant, that's the word I was trying to remember in the previous thing. Oh, not. Crowd Cretton, whatever the fuck is...

Common Cretton. I like a peasant. I'm like a... Yeah, common creton. I ran with what I had, but Peasant was the word I was looking for. So thank you. Willie Carson's fucking great uncle or whatever. Was that his name, Willie Carson?

Yeah, Willie Carson. Okay, so I've got a nice, interesting thing. Okay. I don't know half my family, because they're American. It's up to the viewers to do Ancestry and find which of them I'm related to. Well, they were jockeys or something. No, because they're Americans. What if James is, like, like, Chris Evans's cousin?

Yeah, what about we get him on the cast? Chris Evans on the tiny chair. Do you think celebrities are more ordinary than us? No. No, I think they're actually completely deranged and out of... Cannot relate. Okay. You out of touch.

Out of time, but I'm out of my head when you're not around. I am the bar. Beard. You bitch. Bitchy bard. Scoom asks us a question about James's statement. Scoom, you mean the drug from Skyron? Thoughts on the news that the Hercules live action remake is going to be a musical.

Inspired by TikTok. Inspired by TikTok. Yeah, you're not see this? You know, the Rousseau's who did Avengers Purple? They're like producing it or something. And there was like an article going around the other day saying that that's... Hercules is going to be like an influencer this time. Oh, so like the spin they had on...

The Disney one is like a sports kind of star. Like he gets that fame. Yeah. Through that kind of angle with all the merch and stuff. now he's a TikToker good idea somewhat fresh I guess is somewhat fresh

yeah yeah I think it's a pretty good idea really uh shut up do you think they'll get Daniel DeVito hell no no if Danny is not in it I can give a fuck you can fuck off

so you want to be a hero kidwell it'll be like Sylvester Stallone So you want to be a little No I don't think This isn't a pointless question I don't care about it Why are we going to talk about some more

Rousseau brothers bollocks There's load of shit All they've ever reduced to shit They are crap, they are crap Ever since Infinity gauntlets Yeah infinity gauntlets All the stuff they poop out is just like

Netflix trash Yeah exactly It's like really generic, like military. Yeah, it's like... Chris Evans and his brother, Ryan Gosling, are military guys. Christopher Hemsworth is a military guy. Spider-Man is an undercover. Yeah, Spider-Man is an undercover military man.

Nathan Drake. Jesus Christ. Like, let's be will, Hercules is good. Don't bring it back. Just like Moolan. good and you brought that back, cunts. They should have made Moolan a TikToker

and maybe it would have been good. That's the angle they should take with every Disney movie now. Yeah, make it insufferable so then it can die a horrible, painful death. Make it based... Based in modern times, all of them, and they're all just TikTokers.

No, just make the film a TikTok film. So have it been the 10... You go on their TikTok fee and you can watch the maximum three minutes long or whatever. Yeah. That's the whole thing. I'd be okay with that.

If that was the trend of like they're modernising all their movies with one TikTok on the Disney TikTok. Yeah. You know? Like they get like Olaf from Frozen to be

He does like the Marge Simpson crump or something. That's all you need. Yeah. No, that is literally all you need. You need less inspiration than that. Is there going to be like a family guy movie? Has there not been?

No, there hasn't. There's not a family guy. That time has passed. Yeah. He doesn't give a shit. No, there actually is a family guy movie. There isn't. There absolutely is.

There are the Star Wars ones. They don't count. Yeah, they do. I'm talking about like a theatrical, like, Simpsons movie tier. The Simpsons movie is good, though. That's what I'm saying. Maybe there is. Oh, they were straight to DVD though

Yeah Like Steve, Stu Griffin, the untold story Was it, it was a, it's a natural movie That would just be like a few episodes combined Yeah Wait, what? No, stop Wait, is this real? What? Who are you telling to stop?

Family guys An upcoming 2022 American Animated Comedy Directed by Seth MacFarlane What? No, I feel like they want to end it with a bang Do I have like a half an hour Brian will actually die this time Brian no

Brian yes The dark Brian Wait 5th of October 22 the family guy movie will likely take time of it Apparently there's one in the works now Well it's just Prince money You know

Yeah What family guy Do people still watch it Yeah Like the new ones Yeah it's pretty good it's like TikTok as a show

when you think of it yeah that's why it's had this resurgence it's like way ahead of its time well yeah well it's also like an indicator of his like policy whereas like you don't even need

I'm not saying being ahead of its time is like a good thing it's just like that's always a good thing it's bar was at a point where like it was prepared for the bar to be lowered in the future and the bar has reached

Family Guy. Yeah. It was kind of like a clip show. Yeah. It's weird. And Family Guy actually used to be kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, no,

I had some funny-ass jokes back in the day. It did. It was really like random as fuck. Like X-D? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be honest and say that I never found Family Guy funny.

You're the king of being like, well, I never like that thing anyway. No, no, no, no. You, no, no, you can't say, shit like that because do you not remember us in school when i would constantly say about how shit's family guy is i would say that when we were in year like eight and nine i've been on this fucking family guy's shit train you didn't even know what family guy was i did i did and i was always a hater no this is another classic james me no just because your memory

doesn't mean that why isn't it's not true you've got shit memory we both know you've got shit memory. I've got quite a good memory actually. I've got a good memory. I only remember. You only remember really specific things relating to things we liked at a period that you didn't. Yes. That you retroactively.

No, no, it's not retroactively. I simply remember a lot about my life. I don't forget it. I can't forget anything ever. And I remember hating a family guy. We can go, we can go interview Jack, Matt, and prove this, okay? And they'll be like, what? That's like such an unimportant.

important thing. It is that important, but it doesn't mean I'm not white. I hated it. I'm talking about me. I know what I've hated all this time. I don't bullshit about what I hate. No. Okay, you want to fight me? Yes. Okay, what's your argument here then?

About the family guy thing. No, about me bullshit and about the things I hate. Yeah. Okay, examples. Eldon Ring? I've given my genuine criticism of on that game and that's that I was playing it at some 30 frames of seconds.

So saying that I didn't enjoy it is a valid criticism because I was playing it a 30 frames a second. Opposite of value. Not true. Yes, you see this here folks. Jamie and Alex don't want to play Bloodborn because it's a 30 frames a second but my opinion on Eldermink

isn't valid because I'm playing at 30 frames a second. No, it's on the PlayStation 4 a very different thing. No, you've both said that you don't want to play it because of 30 frames. Yeah, don't want to go bad. can play it. At 30 frames.

At 30 frames. No, but it's not like the default for Eldon Ring is locked to 30. No, but my computer can only want it at 30. That's my computer. No, but that's still my experience of the game. No. I'm not saying it's a valid criticism of the game. It's just a valid experience of the game.

But that's not even what you said. Back in your criticism of Eldon Ring, Framer had nothing to do with it. It ran like shit because it was on my piece. No, but that's not what you said. See, I've got a. really specific memory of things in my life I don't forget a single thing that happens in my life

and the shit that you were complaining about was how clunky the game feels you were saying it's like no different to New Vegas no that's direct from the goddamn horse's mouse that is that is an elder wing absolutely is New Vegas they're both fucking masterpieces but they're both a little bit of shit

did you see that New Vegas meme in the subreddit that was really funny one but New Vegas means you're very common in that New Vegas memes oh you mean the Femboy one Yeah, a fanboy, man And I piss people off in the replies What did you say?

I said, it's better to become a fanboy Because of New Vegas than play Eldermine and become a fascist I'm not lying, Matt Why would Why does New Vegas turn people into fanboys? Bro, no. New Vegas, it's like, if you're a teenager or a young adult online,

and you stumble into, like, New Vegas, it changes you. Your life is changed as a sort of playing New Vegas. You become a fanboy. Yes, in some cases, yes. All of the fanboys I know have played New Vegas. Oh, I love New Vegas or obsessed with New Vegas. New Vegas connects people in a way that not. another game does.

And do you know what my theory to that is? What? It's the same as people who play as female characters in games. Yes. If you choose, you know, you're like programming your brain, then you're so immersed in the game. You come out of the game and you're like, this doesn't feel right.

I should be a woman. No, but it's like, um, I, no, of all the people online who have little bit, a little bit strange and unique, they've all been forged into that by New Vegas like of the three of us here I'm the fucking most

I'm the weirdest person out of us three and I fucking love New Vegas that's not a coincidence is that true I'm by far the most fucking bizarre personal out of jar and I've played New Vegas

and I love it it's hard to say this and Alex looks like that I'm gonna New Vegas Can no, no, I want the viewer's consensus on this. Do you agree that New Vegas directly changes your complete out, like, path in life? Like, New Vegas is a co-op-ed.

And that. If, like, New Vegas is, like, a co-opter. It corrupts you in a way that nothing else will. And I want to know your opinions on that. Because it definitely corrupted me. Do you think you're more corrupted by that than, like, if you'd stumbled into, like, a ketamine addiction? around the same. Yeah, I'd be a normal person if I had a ketamine addiction. New Vegas, though, no. What is fentanyl? Fentanyl is a drug that was originally invented in, I like to say, the early

2000s, if not the 90s, to basically give more pain relief for hospitals and whatnot and people under extreme surgery. But I think a board in America banned it because there was a load of downsides to it but now in the current age people have realized that instead of padding like cocaine with all of these other chemicals that like you know glass like you stick you stick random stuff in your cocaine to pad it out yeah but now you can do it cheaper by making fentanyl because it's fully synthetic so it is really easy to make so if you pan out your cocaine with fentanyl you can sell more of it you make more of it but that means and that's just why there's the crisis in America because so many people are overdosing on fentanyl.

So you snort fentanyl? No, this is why there's so many deaths because people are just taking other drugs and it's been laced with fentanyl and because the smallest amount of fentanyl can overdose you and kill you, that's why there's so many deaths related to other drugs like cocaine because they've been laced with fentanyl. That's why it's such a huge issue now because any drug that's coming over from Mexico from the cartels is laced for fentanyl. That's why it's a big issue.

and that you can just do some cocaine and you're dead fentanyl's a big like crisis at the moment I guess but it's a fully synthetic drug any like synthetic or like pill-based thing that can just be pressed from god knows what yeah but fentanyl's like for the like milligram amounts of it

it can kill you straight up there's no no fucking doubt about that so like yeah be careful out there yeah no generally make sure you're buying from like good quality shit the freezer god says hello Hi. I'm curious. Since there seems to be much disagreement about the YouTube handle being at Yogs and some heartburn about a not being at humans born fresh, why not change the Twitter handle to at humans born fresh? It removes the inevitable confusion of the four funniest handle and immortalizes the beauty of humans born fresh. So since this comment, it has actually been shifted to at humans born fresh, not the Twitter. I mean the YouTube handle. Wait, did you not know?

No, you don't have Twitter, do you? No. So you didn't actually know. It's human's fresh now? Yeah. We did it. We did it. I'll show you.

I think that's the first time in my life. I've stood up to something and succeeded. Nice. Wow. That's not cool. Yeah, look. That hurt. I'm sorry.

Yeah, this one. Run to have been. Righted. Humans born fresh. Hell fucking yeah. It should have been Yogs really, much easier. No, that is the right decision. That is the right decision.

I disagree. I think that humans born fresh is not unique enough to be a mainstay of the charm media meme echo stratosphere. What do you mean? It's the definition of unique. Where the fuck else have you heard that and that string of words before?

I just don't know, because Yogs has staying power. Yogs has been a... How's Yoggs more unique? But there's been another YouTuber. That's what makes it like it has... That makes what makes it stay. That's what gives it power.

Influence. Humans born fresh. Doesn't. But it's accurate. It does. does I know but I think if we want to actually make humans born fresh a main state we need to actually be born fresh we are that's why we came up with it no but we aren't and right now born fresh how do you become born born again

freshen how I'm I'm genuinely asking it earnest trip if you've got no answers we got two more we've got the penultimate one here which is good from bolt breaker thoughts on Dobby's grave being fought for by fans like the tomb of Christ articles say strangers made a pillar of cotton from their socks after you hearing you talk about his gina this triggered the question of if Dobby is considered a dibby feels like something that recently began manifesting on a quantum level

of dibedom. Was Dobby meant to be a dibby before something as potent as minions were? I think we actually talked about Dobby being a dibby before. Is Dobby a dibby? I think Dobby is a dibby.

I think he might be too ugly. The real life grave of beloved Dobby, is it? Thousands of people spend hours. This is with the picture as well. I'm fucking confused. What do you mean the world like Grave of Dobby? Thousands of people spend hours flocking to the mock resting place of iconic Harry Potter character Dobby, the house elf every year. hashtag Dobby

Where's his grave? The site is found above Freshwater West Beach in Pembrokeshire Where the scene of the death was filmed But due to the high numbers of visitors To such a small place It has been muted by National Trust Wales That it would be moved

Can I ask Why are people going to the The Dobby Why are people Going out of their way? No, he's not real That's one of the best

Tweets I've ever seen Hashtag Harry Potter fans are ecstatic that the real life grave Of beloved Dobby is here to stay Accompany with the nodding Dobby Giff I'm confused Crossed arms nodding Dobby

I um That's innocent I think that's gonna be the fun now We've been doing too much doby thumbnails yeah but they work um well on the subject of dibby you're actually holding a divvy

Dobby is a dibby Dobby is a dibby I don't know he might be too ugly no no you see him when he's quite cute where like there's no reply in that tweet I think no this is the thing Dobby has argue qualities

yeah they he's an ugly dog and he's a manipulative disgusting viral animal but he has his cute face He's got dibyness Yeah He's adorable He just wants to manipulate you and make you suffer

You know where divby what? Because it's too apt No I just Like Thinking about it There's an inherent association with Argy Yeah it's his fault He's the reason it was created

Yeah and I don't like Argy Because he's glad he's gone He is gone He's on the farm Like the idiot he is He's prolicking through the fields Yeah In heaven

In hell. In hell. Right. We got one more. And I put this one last because I feel like there probably is a sector people that when they get these visceral shit stories, they might not want to hear them. No. No, you can't be a jar media listener and have not, have like a very low tolerance to visceral shit stories. Yeah, but it's like the wing of fire.

You've got to go through the wing of fire in your jar. I see it in the same kind of thing of like bringing up Marvel, you know. It's like one of those. yeah but guess what shit stories shit stories are more interesting than Marvel movies better written than Marvel movies they've got better characters than Marvel movies and they have a better climax

Marvel movies have nothing I'm so like indifferent on Marvel but I love bringing it up mostly because of how much it annoys James yeah it's good content punished Eric then can take us away how do yougs you guys and the jarlings have been

passing around shit stories and how shitting yourself can happen to anyone well i'm 22 and while i've never fully shat myself i've had too many small accidents to count times where i gambled on a fart and lost the same day i was listening to jim's shit story i gambled on a fart and won i vowed to never do it again at that moment if you think that fart might be a shit just go to the toilet to fart it's worth the time I always associate accidental shits with Resident Evil 6 it was October

2012 10 years ago the game had just come out and I was staying the night at a friend's house and because I wanted to play it so I'm like three hours into Leon's campaign and at one point I really had to pee and so I got up and went to the bathroom as I'm standing up

letting that stream loose really pushing all of that urine up my body Feeling great All of a sudden Here comes the fart Let me reread that sentence This is the main reason I screenshot

Because of this one sentence This is the main reason I fucking stop this As I'm standing up Letting the stream loose Really pushing all that urine out of my body Feeling great All of a sudden here comes the fart The fart that signals doom.

I shit myself just a little while I'm pissing. Just enough shit to ruin only a portion of my undies. That's when I enter the survival horror. I have to effectively clean this minimal amount of shit in my underwear and wear it until I get home tomorrow without my friend ever knowing. And I did just that. The whole night was slightly wet and itchy, not to mention the tension.

Thank Christ I didn't get a rash. As an idiot 12-year-old, I didn't think. think to turn the boxes inside out. To this day, whenever I think of Resident Evil 6, I think of trying to pee and accidentally shitting, which is honestly the best and perfect way to describe R.E.6. Game on, Jarmedia, Posdak,

my Auntie Zula, and I love the cast. Minus 2 downvotes. Game on. That's an example of gaming on. He pissed and shit himself, and he just gamed on. He gamed on for what, though? Wesleyan Evil 6.

For comedy. Yeah, so funny, we gave up on it. We didn't even get to the good campaigns. The good campaigns. We started on the worst one. But that's exactly what happened to me when I pee-poohed. I did, I pee-pooed. And I think for a man, it's probably relatively common.

The thing is, though, poo-farts are tricksy. you know because if it's been years since you've poo-poo farted yourself right

um then if a fart's coming you don't even second guess it you don't think oh this fart might have shit in it so you just let them all out and then one day it's just like poo fart

and you're like what the fuck why did that happen I agree with that it farts when you fart as as often as like quite often then you'll just expect

because like 99% of them are dry so you're lulled into a false sense of security like I would spend like six hours a day on the toilet if I sat down to fart every time you know six hours a day I can't really focus on anything apart from really pushing all that urine yeah yeah but we all know what that

well that's all about what do you mean you know when you're you're like doing something like you're watching a really good movie or a TV show or playing a video game or like reading a really good book and you get up and you're like I really want to piss and like get back to it

I have a question okay do you enjoy smelling your own shit because why else did you expose yourself to sitting on the toilet for an extended amount of time to let your shit come out naturally because you clearly enjoy the smell of it otherwise you wouldn't expose yourself. So you're accusing me of sitting there

just sitting in the shit yeah with your head between your legs. No but no this is a thing you are smelling your shit fumes and if you didn't like that you'd shit fast and get out fast. You expose yourself to extend his shit fumes for the naturality of you

shitting so you clearly must enjoy the shit. Within your question is the issue with your question. I don't have time to explain of why I don't have time to explain well I can't argue with that

no no honestly but why why do you spend so long shitting and if you do spend so little time shitting because I don't want to smell my own shit fumes no that's not true no but also shitting for a long time is bad yeah

that's straining your bung no but I'm not straight the whole point is avoiding strength no but even if you're not straining but if you're sat there I'm master uguer in that bathroom and I'm a poe in that bathroom doesn't you like fart and have diarrhea and shit

like constantly well I was the first to bring up does he does pho do that that's just my head cannon yeah no but I am actually the first to announce in front of everyone that I've shit myself so yes

that's what they're going to explain in the fourth one oh wow fucking hell fucking hell yeah well if you if you've shit yourself I hope you guys listening start shitting yourself on purpose

so you can send us some if not at least phrase it in interesting ways yeah no any brave warriors out there shit yourself in a social situation and then tell us what happens and like shit yourself on purpose if you're brave enough yeah if you have the car when you next goes to the pub on a night out or a nightclub and you need to poo just poo and then tell us what happens yeah there was a cleaner who left a comment on the last one saying like please for the love of god do not shit in a urinal really so much harder to clean than just shitting on the floor yeah

Wow I'm sorry for the cleaner I didn't mean that I'm a Look if I got a shit I'm gonna shit in the urinal Sorry bro Whatever

Someone docks this guy So I can find much toilet You shit You need to edit me Asking No you use it like a wand If you fucking smash The camera

That would one up James's little... So try and capture the wind sound, the cool flight. Oh wow, yeah. Smash the mic instead. Yeah, it's... Closer, bro.

Closer. Yeah. Closer. Closer, do it. Oh, you're nowhere near the fucking mic. Please don't let go of that thing. Let go of it. Closer.

No, James, go silent. Go silent. Do it and see if it... My mic's not there. It's not there. No, do it again. Closer. You can go for it. I can't go closer.

You're just not dedicated, no. No. Avada Kazada. Sackarra. Scroisina! Scudera! Scutera! No strutsinna!

No skirozina! Don't skittier de Jit. What's how you are? Ah! Nah!