JAR Media Posdact - I Stop? I SNAP.

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 06:41 Housekeeping 26:33 New Years in London 34:04 Mid Break 43:45 Question Segment: Low Roar Beauty 45:07 Christmas Haul 57:06 The Truth About Angry Joe 1:01:14 PLEASE shut UP 1:05:50 Movies We're Hyped for in 2026 #BroCastS6E10

Howdy do these SpongeBob? Come with me on an adventure. SpongeBob, get down. They're trying to hunt you. AC 130, SpongeBob, get down. There's an AC 530 above. There's an AC 530 above. There's an attack helicopter, SpongeBob. Get the fuck down. Someone just unlocked dogs. Run! They still have dogs in Call the Duty? Um, there wasn't black dogs. It's probably like drones now. No, now it's like, robot dogs.

So much further beyond. Yeah. They should have robot dogs. Why haven't they done that? Call a duty. Call us up. We got ideas. Everybody remembers the dogs, right?

I remember a dog. The dog and me. Woof, whof! New year, new dog. Oh my God. Good afternoon, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen, um, and welcome to the broadcast. Season 6, episode 10.

I'm Alex, joined by Jim. Should there be a new season because it's New Year? You want to do that? I mean, it feels, I don't know. We didn't have much, let's make this the finale. The grand finale. Season 6, grand finale. Nice, yeah.

New Year, I'm ill again. Me too, yeah, I'm ill again. I'm both ill, so don't expect this to be another, God, we recorded so much for those previous two. It wound up being like five and a half hours or something? Is that it? Longest, I took some out where you were going a bit too far, but that's just normal. We have to take out at least a minimum of 20, 25 minutes.

Where'd I go too far? Well, I can't say, obviously, in the recording. Okay, we'll take it out if you do say it. Well, speaking of taking things out, actually, there are a few. We need to agree right here, right now, if we're allowed to address the P in the room. No. We're not. Okay, we'll talk around it.

You'll have to look at the video version if you're listening to understand. Or maybe even blur it. Ooh, true. I didn't consider that, but I don't really want to do more work this week, to be honest. That's fair enough. You know what I mean? That's fair enough. Yeah.

It's been in like a nice holidays, actually. You know, actually, the only thing that wasn't the nicest holiday ever is that this is the first Christmas. I haven't seen you. Is it? sure yeah it would be with that not right now I'm already like to

wow fuck oh god I'm gonna take oh she like she got in got in my skin yeah

fuck she was like leaving me alone into press record yeah she wants to be on the laptop I'm already too warm um

what was I even saying uh yeah she like slit my wrist are you bleeding not quite it was like just shallow enough where there's just like a hollow yeah but yeah she can like get it under the skin and it like yeah oh fuck please not me too god no no no no no no no no she's causing chaos man we just keep it cool dude just no don't sit on the wire don't sit on the wire so yeah i guess first christmas

since i was three no two you were there for three Yeah, it would have been. Yeah, crazy, actually. Yeah. So, yeah. And I arrived later than intended on Boxing Day. Yeah. But we made up for it in the...

I am bleeding. Oh my God, like right on my vein. Dude, that's just uncool. Okay, I prefer dogs again now. She was just trying to cuddle. She was just trying to cuddle. She was just trying to cuddle too hard. Yeah.

Way too hard. Jesus. I lost my train of train. Choo-choo. Uh, yeah. So it's a new year, I guess. New year, new me. Another year, another,

another slow descent into reconciling with her inevitable end. I think I'm getting cat-scratch fever. you already have it dude yeah that why when I close my eyes I see little mice squealing

yeah I see little um rats getting glued and bashed you see that that is just like a needle yeah um

but before we get too deep into the episode let's make sure we shout out those patrons over the Jal Media Patreon that make the show possible full stop but also that audio version, the raw and filtered MP3 over on the Patreon.

Add free. Add free, baby. Add it to whatever RSS feed host of choice, your Spotify's, your whatever you use. Your pod bean, of course. That's not all there. You get your patron names

right out on the first or second week of each month. We were just saying this before we began. If not for our kind of ill voices, maybe we'd want to do a bit more audio recording today and maybe do a creepy pasta or read something. We're both just kind of grogged out. Yeah, we're grogged out.

So there will be something a little bit different, different for Jraft Routes this week, hopefully comes together, which will come up in a bit. But otherwise, yeah, check out Jaffer Hours on Patreon. A supplementary show. Huge playlist of building over there, all sorts of media reviews and bits here and there. I was even sprinkling out some little surprises over Christmas,

actually including a bonus little video to do with um he who should not be named actually yes yes with art by um what's mom's instagram art by julie b i think chart by ulebe not chart yeah um yeah um we didn't have we're we we haven't actually recorded one of these and it feels like forever it has been a long time right we yeah we bulk recorded it's just that busy holiday season Um, so we've got to get back into the swing of things, you know what I'm saying? Hey, loud and clear. But last, we're not least on the patron side of things.

Jiam Media group chat. It's a group chat where you can suggest things for us to talk about. Like we can shift into now in housekeeping, where we round off conversations, I guess from the past few weeks, because we haven't done this in a little minute. Frankenlotta says, redacted in Fallout. Yes. The John Media Group chat. I guess I forgot that... Can we say Camille and Gianni?

That's allowed. We can say Camel, but we can't... We can't say his last name? No. Okay. Camel. Camel, of course, is like a nerd icon at this point. Of course, he's going to be a fallout.

So when I got to the end of the episode where he's revealed and comes off one of those cringy fallout helicopters, whatever they're called, whirly birds. Yeah, yeah. um and says his catchphrase i was like he has a catchphrase this is a gift that keeps on giving yeah he comes out and says pd pd yeah piss a dick pussy diureate oh man i'm so not with it you can tell i'm ill is like I thought that was high

he's looking more like he looks kind of like he looks maxing really he's doing like the chad face he's mogging yeah have you not seen him he saw the mogging baby and he was like

don't mind if one does I can't figure out like whenever I see anything about the fallout show online it's like the most intense hatred for it really and then I watch it I'm like I wish the halo show was more like this

yeah this kind of seems like thing so yeah I don't know I thought season one was good yeah I liked it it's not like groundbreaking I think but like no

yeah look at it look at him he's kind of oh shit is he like the he's one of the he's one of the leaders of the brother I don't know anything about Fallout for the records so maybe that's okay interesting is he like funny

in it he's kind of like snarky his first line is like so i hear we're talking about a civil war or something like this he appears with his classic you know reveal voice anybody want to suck on my sweaty balls yeah exactly he's classic classic who may or move that um slang dunk cosmos from the jar media group chat says is completing a souls born game without looking up tech equally as satisfying if as if you hadn't i own every from soft game i suck at every one of them but refuse to give up should i dive into tech or learn hard way by my lonesome bear the bear lads what do you mean tech huh i guess by tech he

means like builds and like i don't know because i i've only really heard that in terms of like um speed runs they sometimes use that vernacular um tech to me is like um a specific series of inputs yeah yeah um how do you feel about that i think it depends Because personally for me, I didn't play... I don't think I played Eldon Ring with a guide. I didn't. I did... For Dark Souls 1.

Right. But not a guide as in like, turn left. Then you turn right. It was more like, I finished this area. I just want a general direction of where to go for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I feel like is fine. It wasn't ruining the exploratory experience because I wouldn't, like, use a map.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just point me in a direction. I want to go, because it is an obtuse as fuck gay in that one. Well, yeah, I, um, I told a lie. I, I did use, um, like, the odd bit of information online for Eldonering even. Like, uh, yeah, if you're like, needs to, want to progress. If you're totally stumped, well, it was like a side area and I couldn't figure out, like, how to get there.

Yeah. Um, and I never would have found out my own. Like, when you don't know where to start, um, I think it's totally fair. or like if you know you need half of the medallion and you have no clue yeah I don't think that ruins the experience necessarily yeah for sure like I spent so much time when he's like find the albinoric woman to ba-da-da-da-da they're like trying to help you along the way and I just couldn't find it for the life of me

I don't remember like when you when it first came out they didn't even have NPCs like on the map yeah yeah yeah yeah so I don't really think that's an issue and I don't think when playing Sekaro I use one at all no you don't really need to because it's more about mastering that combat so you yeah I don't think you need to with Bloodbourne either um you probably would for Dark Souls 2 um yeah yeah the the like flow of that game makes no sense um you definitely don't for Dark Souls well Dark Souls 3 I guess for like the secret if you miss that if he means like diving into tech as far as like watching videos of like breaking down best way to play or something or like

yeah and some of the systems are so like um like this yeah obtuse the the you know the like the scaling system that a b c d of g yeah and too many ages to figure that all that yeah but um within it like a d isn't universally a d there's a number like behind the scenes behind the d that like so one d can be closer to a c in the other d is closer to any yeah yeah i don't get that So, like, there's all these little details that you can learn about online. And especially if you're doing, like, second play-thrus and stuff, um, I'd say play until it stops being, like, if it starts being not fun,

then, like, look up help. Yeah. Because, uh, like, don't, don't intentionally have a worse time just because, like, you feel like you're supposed to. Uh-huh. Yeah. good by being miserable. Yeah.

No. Yeah. And last from the Germany group chair. Dylan. Thoughts on the Chud interpretations of the new avatar and people siding with the humans. I haven't actually seen anything about this. Outside of people just enjoying Quarich, I guess, because he's like the best character in it nowadays. Who did you side with?

Of course I'm team Jake Salih. And the T. eating but removing your feelings and using just logic oh if i'm just using facts and not feelings then i go straight for quarch obviously yeah yeah father of spider father a spide spider spada spada because i keep saying why so blue from avatar way of water and when i was doing it like why so blue then i went on the movie just to see that bit yeah and it's so like understated the way he actually does it when i remember him like yeah because he's like he says something like i suppose you're wondering why so blue when i've just gotten like well sir why so

blue yeah yeah it's not quite that now stuff like that does always get like exaggerated in one's minds because he is like a cartoonish character he is that's kind of what's so fun about him, to be honest. So, so itchy. You haven't seen the new one yet, have you? Spider. I never will.

Unfortunately. You've been banned. Yep. James Cameron doesn't want you seeing him anymore. James Cameron said, you're not allowed, surface dweller. And then he's submerged once again.

Submerged. Went back to talk to the Navi Wales, you know. Yeah. He's talked to whales, for sure. I'd love it. to whales. Hello, whale.

Would you like a bit of cheese? Like a little bit of cheese, whale, lad? They must love milk because they're mammals. Yeah. Give me a bit of cheese, Whaley. Bit of whale cheese

tonight, is it? Yeah, man. So those are all the ones from the... I'm flossing Billy. Flossing Billy. J.M.G.C. But these are just from the YouTube comments

from the past couple of vids. uh norm's no life 6665 says lost my job yesterday three days before christmas thanks guys i'm feeling the anger at the world for 2026 i hope jar embraces the anger the world is feeling right now at the state of things you got a rage i hope i read that with a suitable level of anger that's my secret i'm always i'm always meditating i'm always looks maxing I'm always at all moments I have a an earphone in playing guided meditations yeah yeah yeah if those stop I snap yeah yeah those stop I snap yeah I to be perfectly honest I don't understand how more people aren't more rageful yeah like all the time see I've I've been talking about France a lot lately and there's going to be a comment about France in a minute actually

which I'll just pluck from Kina K what I find so funny about the French hate is that you guys can do it all you want without any backlash since you have zero french listeners or viewers truly epic that's true i've looked before not one really they hate her ass yeah but i'm starting to become a french abu yeah i know and it's pissing me off yeah what i don't bruh they're like the only place that cares about the things i care about you know what uh mollusks yeah garlic not wash they love garlic they love onions they love being stinky now i associate garlic more with italy french has no french no french it's all about that now for you it's yeah i'm i'm a true believer that the 100 years war never ended but they get mad there at things you know yeah to be fair to i wish we

got mad at things yeah that wasn't like yeah they have like an like a a limit yeah like we're just like, well, this is it now. I guess I'll channel this into hating the poorest socioeconomic. Yeah. So that's cool. Yeah. It's more performative the French thing for me,

whereas for Jim, it's genuine. What's performative? You just pretend to like French things. No, you just pretend to hate France. But you were born there. huh mom and dad tried to keep it from you

but it's true you're you're secretly French that's why we was treated you so differently yeah that's why he goes

is so horrible to me oh it makes sense no I understand and I forgive you ha ha that's why you always laugh like that

like Walaigi in serious note though for a serious moment um France kind of rocks Is Waluigi supposed to be French

I don't know Because they got the Italian Are they like the French Cousins or something Warrior's not French Warriors meant to be like American Oh yeah That's why he's fat and he fars

Luigi does give He rides a chopper Louis Luigi gives French Louis Waluigi Fuck me Waluigi gives French vibes Yeah

Is that canonical In the same way, Burdow's trans? Berto's trans? You didn't know that. Canonically, Burdo is trans. Really? Since Mary Bros 2? Yeah.

They don't want to acknowledge it, but it is fact. That's so fucking woke. I know, Ray. No more Nintendo. No more Switch 2 for me. You've got to return your Switch 2 now. Yeah. That's a bit sad.

Okay, genuine question to the JAR listeners, Switch 2 or PS5. Mm. Or repair PC? Jim's a bit. Well, no, I'm definitely repairing PC. Okay. That's a given. okay but i i like i i i prefer the switch console right to the hideous PS5 yeah duh um and like

there's nothing i really want to play on PS5 to be perfectly frank um but i need i need to be um yeah but i i can just wait to PC yeah um that's the thing so gTA i've got to be like gta prepared that's the only thing is gtia yeah yeah um isn't coming to switch for some reason It wouldn't run, must be honest. Switch 2? Why would it not? Because it would have to run on portable, right? But if like the new GTA is going to be able to run on a base Xbox series...

Come on, dude. What the hell, man? Keanu? I didn't know you were in here. Yeah. Rory 166 says, I'm so relieved that Jim showed so much passion in his disdain for pretty little baby i genuinely can't explain how much that song gets under my skin yes and to make things even

worse everyone around me just didn't get why this so annoyed me um pretty little baby i'm so glad it's not just me oh because i was i was talking to my partner about this and um she was like uh she love it yeah she's like i think it's kind of nice it's like and all the girlies think so and I'm like, what the fuck? It's the most fucking annoying, like it's the delivery, it's the... It's piercing.

Oh, it's condescending, I feel. Yeah, it's got that baby voice from that songs from that era. Yeah, ah. You know, remember a madman, the, what's that, like... Ah, the birds. That's right, yeah.

Yeah, fuck. I can't remember how it goes. Maybe if I wasn't so cooked, I'd remember. It will come back It will come back to me I swear Oh well everybody No

Isn't it bye bye by birdie Yes Bye bye Bye bye birdie Yeah And they're all like obsessed with it Yeah It's weird and creepy

And I hate it Pretty little baby I think that maybe Yeah someone does that to me and they're actually getting drowned stabbed drowned and left drowned and left

um the joker oh this is a good name the joker but more funnier says jim you were trying to make fun of the French SpongeBob by saying jim appell SpongeBob but that's just complete nonsense his French name is Bob LePonge

get it right I just said France was actually all right I'd take that like Bob Le Pange And girlfriend Love says I'm glad Jim has such an affection for Dead Island One

Playing through the whole campaign with a friend Was a fucking funny time And the story just goes completely off the rail Stupid by the time you get to the prison Yeah Is that true? It's so fucking crazy It's an awesome

fucking game Play it Genuinely Get it on Steam lock in play Dead Island One I feel like it would like destroy my PC or something

I feel like it's one of those games It makes your PC better It's genuinely It overcocks your PC when you run it Yeah yeah yeah It's a cracking belter of a game And I would happily play it

Right now Right here, right now Scooby-Doo Scooby-Doo! And last one for housekeeping, Lego Rocket, raccoon, says. Redacted Month has irreparably changed my perspective of Camille. He showed up in the first episode of the new fallout season last week, and all I could think of was redacted. Before, he was just one of those actors I recognized, but had no real opinion on, but now all I can think of is that little frog-like redacted.

Hmm. Are we allowed to say man in black? Yeah, we can say man in black, that's fine. Cool. When you say man in black, most people, their head goes like Will Smith. Yeah. You know, Keeramundi.

You know. Oh, that's horrible. What? I searched Man in Black news, hoping there might be some news. Tommy Lee Jones's daughter, Victoria, who starred in Men in Black 2, dies age 34. what the fuck horrible that's not what i'm looking for why can't anything nice happen once

just once just once i'm trying to start the year good style yeah this has been a shit start to the year awful style of the year awful style this year's going awful style so far we've got of re-design. Yeah. They call me the architect. We've always got Chinese new year to like start fresh. Can you Google when's Chinese new year? And what bird is it going to be? It's not going to be a bird. If it's year of the rat, I'm going feral. It's Tuesday's 17th of February to Tuesday the 3rd of March. And it's going to be... How's it so long? It's the horse. civilizing energy, freedom, and forward momentum. The horse?

The horse? Then we're going to get Year of the Spider from Avatar. Year of the Navi. James Cameron usurps. Yeah. James Cameron becomes Chinese. Ow! Go away.

You're just being mean. She's in a funny mood. She's in a kind of impaler mood. Do you have a pillow or something? Billy the impaler. to push her away. You just got a bled-la-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-h-h-h. She's a bat-lax.

Go on. She's in a mean mood, and I don't want to deal with it. So I feel ill, and my hands are itchy. Billy New Year. Yeah. It's so fucking cold, man. January sucks. January does suck.

Every time this happens, I'm in December, and I'm like, it's Christmas time soon. I know I'm going to get down January time. just like it's all build up well it's like this year let's make it different let's like because i kind of like winter i like the cold it's like i like it in theory i like it on paper i like it when i'm inside the second you have to do anything it's so annoying there because like you dress up all toasty yeah and then you're going you're popping from building to building it's really warm so you're yeah so you get really sweaty and then you go outside and get

really cold and then you get sweaty again and you get ill and then like my my hands get all like crispy but my my armpits are like sweating because all the layers like cover my torso hmm um so for new years we went to london we did any cringy london jim changes when he goes into london you become it's like the the renegade all the renegade options are popping up and you can't Yeah, yeah. Can't deny them. Yeah, well, I've... I'm fine.

I'm fine in London, but it's the second something goes wrong. Like, I just get unreasonably aggravated. Because we were so close to our destination and I was like, nice. We're like, nearly there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, don't say that, dude. Don't fucking say it. Yeah.

It was like the overground train, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, technically it's a train that takes you out of London. Yeah. but our infrastructure is just so fucking shit all the money goes to like oh let's let's make central like just the most modern amazing place ever let's ignore the rest of the entire

and that's why I fucking hate it so much it's like they're yeah they're actively choosing to have this hyper-condensed and it's a perfect metaphor for all the shit I was ranting about episodes back like these these fucking fat cats sorry bill these fucking fat cats that just want it all and they want to like these fat controllers yeah the fat controllers that don't want to let thomas like hang about with him you know the fat controllers that say to to lady yeah you just have it you just

take your lot because that's what you deserve because you weren't born into the fat controlling position that I was. We're talking about Ringo Starr or a fat controller. Fat controller. Ringo Starr was a working class geyser that fucking bashed his way to the top. True. When he gets overly hated, too.

Yeah, and he wanks on all fours. Or so I'm told. Everyone's like, yeah, Ringo, he wanks on all fours and his shit and drums. Yeah. Yeah, why did it? You be in the Beatles then. Yeah.

It's that easy. Yeah. You wrote Yellow Submarine if you're that based. Be fair, that one does. for stank that was a stinker of the song I get I get that feeling you get when you go into London is the feeling I get when I hear yellow so yeah yeah Nick I don't know man I just um it it feels wrong the place feels wrong to me but I just

don't know like the idea of like your capital being so expensive and unlivable for all the people that like reside in the country yeah you can only afford to live there if you're a Russian oligarch yeah it feels like a foreign nation within like England to me

is is Wiltshire England to me is Somerset England to me is Gloucestershire England to me is northern northern places too England to me is Cornwall England to me is

obviously i live in like the southwest but um it's a different world and why is it that it's it's it's like uh valued so much more well yeah whenever you go abroad and you ask you were asked where you live in the uk if it's not in london nobody gets no concept yeah that it's even somewhere that exists anywhere outside of london Yeah, and it feels like, um, like, it's always been just London, you know, like London had this empire, and it was all for London, you know, everything got fed back to London. So, like, they, they have, like, the best trains and the best...

Yeah, go look at the, the Victoria line. Like, yeah, that's crazy. I think the underground is just insane Yeah How amazing it is to get around But use any other public transport Yeah Stings

But it was a good new year in the end Yeah, it was a good new year Got to see the fireworks on the top of the tower I felt pretty grotty to be fair Yeah same but But yeah it was fun I've never Never done New Year in London actually

No no right I'm usually so just over like celebrating in Christmas by years where I'm like so tired and just kind of want to I need to recharge my social battery but yeah it was worth doing for sure

yeah yeah definitely it is um I find parties quite exhausting but it was a good time yeah it was a good time and um it was nice waking up the following

day not dreadfully hung over because I didn't really drink that much yeah yeah I ran out booze like 11 or something yeah yeah yeah I was there so like four yeah because I stopped drinking it like the same time as you when I was throwing lamset back like it was uh yeah the 4th of July you know what I had this thing in the back of my mind where I wanted to undo what I did on Halloween right yeah on the night of Pops's passing right just yeah I went silly. Yeah. A little bit silly billy.

Blacked out and all that. Don't want that. Not fun. Yeah, it really does. Whenever you black out, it makes you rethink the whole drinking thing. Like it, why?

Changes, it changes it completely. It's not more of the giant blue buzzboards are New Year's though. Well, yeah, you're not, you're not totally soulless now. You know

Still got to have the big blue It actually tasted quite delicious as well Yeah I thought I need to stock up on those Because Yeah you made a good choice With a blue one That's it for me

If it's like If it's a blue Drink or gummy Or something like that It's so like wrong It becomes right Yeah You know

Yeah Why so blue Exactly Yeah It's like your drinking Navi cum Yeah Yeah

Avatar theme plays That wasn't the Avatar theme That was just like Well yeah It would be copyrighted if you did it Yeah yeah yeah The actual composition Why so jar

Why so a jar Why so redacted Oh shit That's a crossover I want to see you Yeah man in black Yeah Just like a navvy in the

Oh Fish Paisley brought her fish Is she on with the fish. I know a fish face. She looks like a fish too. Got them fishy eyes,

don't you? Why so fish? Why are you fishing? Oh, it's very satisfying for a golden. There you go. Good girl. Right, yeah,

I guess we'll see after these fishy ass messages. Flip, flop, flip. Wing, wang, willy, wing wang, wing wang, wing wang,

wing wang gungungu. Yeah. Bye bear bear. Bye bear bear. I do declare. By Bear Bear Bear. Bear Bear shirts and mug available now. Check the description below.

Yeah. Here's my seal impression. Kiss from the rose on the glass of blue. A kiss from the navvy. I was thinking about that. Not a kiss from a navvy. I do think about that every night. The new fire villain.

Because you know like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. everyone's lusting yeah i could fix her because she's the goth babe you know oh is that it is like the like she's a goth yeah like that's why right yeah yeah yeah so make it will just make sense yeah yeah yeah yeah because like i guess our generation were kind of conditioned by like team titans and shit to oh yeah yeah that's why i find funny about like all these people these totally real people online who are upset about like luca you know and these Pixar movies that like once in development but never actually manifest in the

movie there was the idea of having like a gay character or something but maybe a character slightly coded that way or something they're so outraged by it and I'm thinking like how we grew up with like Mrs. Incredible's fat ass and the yeah fucking El Dorado like yeah blow job scene Yeah Then, you know, like Many people exist

They probably want Something like that Yeah What's wrong with that Make a whole generation Of gays Turn them gay Movies

Yeah Yeah Oh everybody's gonna be turned gay If we have one gay If we have one gay character In a Pixar movie Yeah Yeah

It's gonna be out of control Imagine if Mrs. Incredible was gay Holy fuck incredible's three they can they can do that jack jack was gay the whole time yeah they can show um syndrome from a different angle and he's actually gay from that angle and everyone's gay no one will be yeah um the ball robot was gay oh that's cool all of my gay robots being refined to we have the perfectly gay robot

yeah that's why he was doing it I'm gonna turn the whole city gay with my gay robot yeah you want to know the truth nothing wrong with being gay I gotta take that out because that's a bit too there's a bit too political for this free speech podcast yeah yeah yeah we won't be allowed

into America if they are um yeah so this is the second half of the so we head over to the suggestion thread over on the subreddit and answer questions in the community like why are you gay like and this is kind of from me and this is where i was going to go with the seal thing what do you think the first song you ever heard was not the first song you remember hearing but the first song like you would have heard as like a little baby type thing because i think mine might be kiss from a rose by seal why because mum would play it constantly when I was like being born. How do you know? You weren't there? Because she told me. Really?

Yeah. Okay. So I think that might be why I have this affinity for seal the way I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. R-R. That's why I are, arsh, and clap the way I do. Yeah. And it's why I've got such a beautiful, soulful voice.

I think being that I was born in the month of September, I think the first song I will have ever heard was probably something autumnal You weren't born in September You were born in Ok Vemba I was born in Okvember In France

We heard that from you as well Not only France It's like platform 9 and three quarters But time Ockvember how do you get to walk vember you have to be born in france speaking of racism i've been listening to um dj lovecraft

racism yeah his books and stuff and one of one of the the like second book in the spotify like lovecraft like bit biography not biography like book like all the books um the second one is like the secret city of Kanjara Jojo in the dream world and yeah I listened to the whole thing and it stinks

really yeah it sucks it's like he's in the dream and he he goes into the the crypt of gabagool and he meets some little bontchos and the bunchos have little what about Kula Kthulu is goated even though it's racist as fuck so it's not good

yeah it's great really did you get scared no what kind of voice are they reading it in I'm like a like the most normal American voice then Cthulhu got out of his flashlight

no higher pitch then Casulu got out his fleshlight yeah it is more like that okay what about the necronomicon I've not done that I'm on Mountain of Madness which is cool so far

what a piece of shit guy though a character of sorts like the way he worked in racism to be like not racism as like a it's like a thief it's just like like fact

like you need to listen like it's crazy it's really actually quite educational but yeah I was John in October so the first The first song I ever heard was probably Um

The Pretty Little Baby The Secret City of Um Oh what's it called? What's it actually called? I was trying to find that one like that. Great, great The sea is the first word The Secret City?

Yeah Because there's a few here And I'm not seeing anything about Secret City Yeah, there's nothing Hold out The Nameless City No? Oh, no, it's the dream quest of unknown Gaddaf.

Oh, okay. The dream quest, yeah, there it is, 1943. Oh, right. Yeah, what a cringy man. Anyway, first song, probably black-eyed peas. It's all about one blue, one blue. Or a milkshake bringing boys. to the yard.

Oh yeah. That's why you love milkshakes so much. Yeah. I think that song gave me my first ever little, um, you know. Wank bone. What a word. What a word.

Wank burn. Wank. Wank. Get your copies of wankers off your shelf. Shove it into your players five. You play S-5. Stick wankers in your play S-5 and how we go. Fuck in our wad.

So I just got a handful to do here. We're not going crazy with this one. We've got to go like... Build up strength. We've got to build up strengths. Which, um, as I was walking around London, every other person was stopping and going, bloody hell, bro, you look strong.

Really? And I went, of course. Would you like a Red Bull? That's my kind of humor right there. Set up punchline. Yeah. You know? I'll weave.

Yeah. Oh, that's not Argy Alarm. It's the Argy alarm, yeah. Turn off the Argy alarm. Why do we... Hell no. Why they? Why so blue?

You're not even looking at other Argy. Why do you have an alarm to remind you that he exists? Yeah. Why so blue? I just need to be reminded. Argy, he turns to the camera and goes, give it someone, you're polite. He looks at the camera and says,

get your copy of your wankers. Shove it in your piece of fire. Yes. Get your couple of wankers and dastardly blasted. I'll be right with you. I'm trying to get all the achievements in wankers. Mom, I can't stop right now. I'm playing wankers.

You can't pause wankers. I told you. Wankers is one of those games that you can't pause. It's like a Frommsoft one. it's from slot wankers um well butterbean one two three you guys going here

you laugh like Nigel faulnbury it's becoming French but yeah butterbeen said some final thoughts regarding low raw since there probably won't be a reason to bring them up again for a while

low roar was pretty comfortably my favorite band ever and this last album was an incredibly bittersweet journey the music has always had such a lonely feel to it and i think i interpret ryan to have been a pretty lonely person as well but to me it's lonely in a way similar to meditation there's so much thoughtfulness and introspection built into every song in a way that really speaks to me it tells me that there's so much more going on inside of you than you can ever truly realize it's a sound that really brings out your inner self in a way i've never felt before from any other artists and so glad um to have played that piece of shit game death stranding so i could experience this music

i kid i like death stranding a lot lol it does suck though um yeah you put that into words far better than i ever could yeah that's a nice way of putting it because it is meditative but also lonely but i never really considered that meditation is a lonely practice really yeah that's a that's a fucking fantastic point that's an amazing point but butterbane let's do a clap of applaud no i'm gonna take one of them butter beans and i'm gonna put it up my butt. Take your cup of butter beans, smack it

into your PS5, and put it up your butt. Pretty much. That's nice. And I guess that kind of transitions into Roney Bones who says you get anything nice for Christmas? No. Get anything nice?

Only rubbish. Only disgusting. I wanted a PS5. You wanted a switch too? Yeah. I was fucking disappointed, lad. was waiting for it um well if you can see the video version of this which i'd recommend tuning

into if you're listening just to see there is a beautiful portrait that my mother did me um art by julie b on instagram this will be the only moment that it's not blurred the only episode it's not blurred um but i'm thinking it needs to usurp sandy i don't know is that controversial i think it's i feel like it's right yeah i feel like he more resembles what is the current state of affairs Sandy's always there but Sandy's not always defining Yeah

You know Yeah Sandy hasn't had a whole month No, no one has No one will Who's gonna get the year Spider from Avatar Maybe Spider, spider

Spider year Spider Spider Spider Spider do you have me you got something nice for christmas because i got it for you yeah well wasn't switched was it i could fucking take it back no it was it was a gated gift to be fair now now we're getting cringy now like we buy records yeah we're getting we're like that now

we're those guys yeah it's like no i'm serious like when you actually start listening to records then it kind of changes the way you listen to music you know like i'm no i'm serious like you actually like you have to be like present yeah yeah yeah i was i was thinking today because like when i was waiting for you um to arrive i was like sat alone listening to the record player and i was like should i unsubscribe from spotify and only listen to music this way no i i have a similar thing where i sit down a record's playing and i just think to myself should i start wanky yeah

the only thing that would make this matter is if I'm wanking yeah like what are you listening see like sometimes I'm wishing

they're my dickhead go bro I got like black IP is a vinyl you know what that is actually a an excellent point I just came up with

what you can justifiably buy an old record of like Kanye who's a shitbag and not support him That's why I've got so much Gary Glitter

Yeah It's why you have a record Yeah, so I can listen to Gary Yeah I just want the one from Joker I had this dream Where I came up with this song About Gary Glitter

Really? Yeah with the like The chorus being Gary Glitters Chicken dinner That doesn't feel very like Topical I feel like you could say a lot About that guy

well it was a metaphor what what is his chicken dinner oh god exactly certainly ain't chicken i'll tell you that much um so yeah speaking of low raw that's probably who you have the most records of at the moment

yeah it's only three though mine is probably black IPs um it would be funny to have the one with the green guy yeah well to have like um Imagine Dragons, have radioactive on it as a single. Yeah, one of the little ones.

Or the Minecraft parody of an Imagine Dragons song printed onto a single. Yeah, that'll be fresh. Do you know what I really want? I want that guerrilla song that you can't listen to anywhere on a single. That would be cool. Do your thing. Do your thing, yeah. Andre 3K, right?

Mm-hmm. And James Marston. From Harry Potter. From Red Dead? Yep. I'm fucking riding the cowboy. I'm riding the cowboy, wanker style. James Wilson, fucking riding the cowboy, wanker style.

On Hidden Lost Converse Sponsor song. You know, that fucking wanky burger place in fucking America that's like, Like, or give it to me dirty style or whatever. Oh, the one we tried? Yeah, that was actually a bit shit. I was mad disappointed by that. What was it called? Who gives the shit?

In and out? Yeah, in a half. Give it to me fucked up style or whatever. We should start a burger place, but like, you got to say, give it to me wanker style. Wanker likes an in and out. Yeah. Wanker doesn't like an in and out. And you get the gloopy type mayo.

Yeah, give it to me slop style, wanker style. Oh, give me a burger, but I want it fucking wanker style from. I want sloppy wank style okay coming right up for you sir give me butt plug wanker style in and out is kind of like yeah it's too far

yeah and also we were waiting there for a little minute because it's so busy because every American is like oh this the best burger I ever had it's like hey you've not Have you even, Wendy exists.

See, that's controversial though. Really? Yeah, I, I, I feel like Americans would be upset by you saying Wendy's is better than a no. Wendy's is so much better. Holy shit. But like, we don't know if there's like a difference maybe? Like one in London compared to one in America, I don't know. I've never had a Wendy.

Hey, Wendy, give me a wanker, will you? I want a Wendy, wanker's down. animal style right that's right that's what it is give me a wanker animal style yeah it made me feel a bit sick yeah it sucked but then isn't that what americans fillet and we were like oh my god i thought um i thought that's just like what americans like from their food is to like feel like they're dying yeah you start sweating grease yeah it's like the yumliest thing you've ever tasted but it's like no no no but in and out wasn't yummy that was the problem it was like fine

I really wasn't impressed but the first time I bit down on Wendy it was like my first time putting wankers into the PS5 all over again you didn't put your Willie back in the PS5 again did you son

it's how all the game works mom mom my shaft stuck in the disc tray. I got stuck in wankers again. Oh, Billy. Because I'm picturing, like, we had to go to the PC repair shop earlier, drop off the PC.

I'm thinking there's like a line of people stuck with their PS5. We got another wanker over here. What was the deal with, like, the two mobsters sat in there, though? Yeah, that was weird. Maybe they're, like, mobsters that need their PCs repair. And they, like, talk to the guy at the desk. They were like, we'll be back later, mate, all right?

And he was like, yes, fam. And then they, like, walked out and... Maybe they get a cut. But the guy behind the desk was clearly, like, fucking dork. Like, in, like, not to be offensive, but, like, he was a dork. Like, I'm a dork, you know? Yeah. But these two guys, like, tattooed up to their eyeballs.

Mm-hmm. And, like... They had guns. Yeah. They were armed. They had rifles, like... And they were like, oh, I just want to go get a fucking Wendy's, in it, fam? It's like, where are you going for that?

You're going to London for a Wendy's. on a Saturday. We'll be back his six hours. I'm just going to go grab a Wendy's from London. Yeah, quick Wendy's for lunch. You won't get there till dinner time, you're wanker. They had a big-ass copy of refurbished wankers. A big pile of them.

Yeah, they had all the refurbished disc trays for the PS5, full of wank. Oh. You can't play. Whankers for PS4 on the PS5. Not compatible. You need to buy the Forequay upgrade. Um, yeah, kind of type thing or something.

Yeah, anything else nice for Christmas? Ah! I got some nice cossions. Why is that funny? Um, because you said it in the funny voice. Yeah, I feel bad about the funny voice. I feel like I'm, um... You're being classist to the north.

Yeah. No, but we love the north. Yeah, we do. The north are better. We would never deny that. Not as good as Wankers on PSA. You know what I mean? Oh, fuck, my copy of Wankers is the sting.

Every present I was opening, I was disappointed because I was hoping it was going to be Barador Lego. 500 pounds? No one wanted to spend out. or Lego. You know that Eye of Saron Tower. Oh. Aren't they doing the Sveek of Malagdon? Yeah.

They're doing Sauron's helmet as well. Really? I thought, no, the big castle, like on the mountain. Minis Tirith. The speak of Madagdon. It's going to be a microscale there, because it's such a big thing. Microscale. Yeah, so it's not like mini-fig scale.

That big. Don't make me bust out bricks out right now. What, is it this big? Is it this big? Don't make me bust out wankers right now. Oh! You must have got something nice. I got some little socks.

In me stocking? Um, I got some nice snacks. Yeah. I ate them all. Yeah, I ate them all as well. No, my tummy hurt. Yeah, and at Ria. Yeah, I've had a fair amount of Ria over the season.

Because I was like At the big party I sat down on the toilet And shit farted Yeah that's because you ate like so much cheese I didn't have that much cheese You did you had like mac and cheese With extra

No I'd already diaried before then Had I No because that My thing was like Yeah I'm gonna hold off like Fulling gorgeing Until like the Christmas party thing is over

Yeah And I didn't think I'd have to like dress up nicely for New Year's for some reason, I didn't realize it was like a sparkly theme. So I was like, oh, for, I've been, like, engorging and been, like, this disgusting pig for the past few days, so I'm like, I feel awful. Why does that matter what you're wearing?

Because, like... It went fit. No, because I thought I was just going to be able to wear, like, my dressing gown and shit, you know, like, dude up. Right, yeah. Just not even care. But I was like... No, you got to care.

Wait, I've got to care! Yeah. You're joking, right? I thought we were just going to chill and play wankers till midnight. That's my fucking ideal. You time it so you wank right as it hits. Happy? No.

Eh! Scumbag Joey says, Angry Joe recently uploaded a video title, Stranger Things Season 5 Volume 2, dash as bad as they say review. I was wondering how the boys felt about this blatant plagiarism of the as they say

series. IP that has been patented by JAR Media LLC when is the lawsuit happening bare Can we like copyright strike? I think it might be I think we might be legally obligated to. Yeah. You know?

This isn't a fair use. He needs to put in parentheses credit to JARMedia in time of the least. Yeah, yeah. Then he can have it? Yeah. Copyright strike it now. Yeah, I'll just do that right now, quick. I'm going to hack into Angry Joe, and I'm going to hack him right down. No more money for you. Your money and hard work and my money in hard work now.

Yeah. Yeah. I've had that happen before, where I've looked at like a video and been like, wait, for the last three years, every penny it's made has just been sent to some random company that did nothing. That's fucking crazy. But I'm going to be honest Angry Joe can do whatever he wants He's one of the few I respect In this fucking bullshit awful life You know what, you're fucking right

In this awful world of cruttons and creeps Yeah, he's one of the good ones He's one of the fucking good ones we should actually protect He's a human being with a fucking soul And he gave wankers a good review That's the main reason Yeah He gave wankers a seven out of ten

Which for him's really good Yeah, didn't have to do that, Jay. And Wangers is one of those situations where, like, it's kind of a proof of concept, and you know the second one's going to be, like, massive to me, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be like, yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to kind of, you know.

Sometimes I'm watching my head. GoPro. Oh, yeah, I got my, I bought myself a Christmas present of a GoPro. Yeah. Because I was listening to that kind of. song and I was like I want to record my willie sometimes I'm wishing that my vagina had HD no so hopefully the after hours will be um kind of gym showing off his record collection um a little bit of this little bit of that I I've just decided that um

and I was inspired by watching um the bionical movie again and that's why they call me the chronicler I want to be the chronicler I think it's like my calling so I've just been going like whenever I've been going into like someone's house I'm already recording so I can kind of scare and surprise them and and get their sincere scares on captured you know do you hear what I'm saying to you did you get mum and dad this morning yeah did you but I won't be able to use that because they're already like arguing and yeah yeah so that's I won't be able to say yeah too many like slurs to take out

I did get Augie being cute though and he didn't oh I did oh you shit on the floor he was holding it as long as he could

I can't hold it any longer master I'm mommy I'm gonna be on the floor mommy don't make me do this I picture

I'm doing like the opposite where he's like, well, I'm going to enjoy this. Yeah. And he's doing like, cringy ass movements, like. He does, he does anyway. He, like, walks around while shit and then he, like, goes back. He, like, he wants to, like, spread it across the biggest surface area. Yeah, but he shits and wants to sniff his shit.

So he, like, tones while shitting. And then he's sniffing his own shit while shit's coming out. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I missed a morsel there. Love the word morsel. Yeah, it is a fab word. right penultimate one from funky boy fresh yeah I feel like I'm spinning out a little bit I think from the uh cold and flumeith

really it was just paracetamol and a bit of isufiluleuleular you'll assimilia chloride what's in this oh that's the corgi mug I just I put a few droplets of my special sauce in there huggy sauce yeah huh um yeah funky boy fresh says will you guys actually actually shut up for once. Is it too much to ask to have a serious moment here for once? Or are you just going to continue larking around like nobody's supper? What a bloody joke is this, this is? Good day to you.

Good day to you, sir. Good day and I hope you get bad RNG in Wankers tonight. Oh, is Wankers at one of them type games? RNG. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got like skill. it does like roles of the die skill

it's got skill it's kind of skill based yeah skills based yeah it's got skills it's based there's matchmaking you can toggle it though

I'm gonna hit toggle on wankers I feel like wanking together town the old Beatles do I want to be ring going on for tonight Yeah, I'm switching on John Lennon mode That's a vicious mode

You've got to team up with Paul Paul and John The best wanker of a The wankers duo They invented wankers, you know What is this Ringo Stahl wanking thing? I don't know, it's some...

Hold on, yeah, I just searched Ringo Starr wanking. New stories from 2018 addressed comments made by Paul McCartney about group masturbation sessions he had with John Lennon and three other friends, when they were young, before Ringo joined the band. When asked about these events, Ringo Starr laughably told reporters for TMZ that the sessions were before my time. He confirmed he was not involved in these sessions and noted that this was one silver lining of not being the original gangster OG Beatles during the early period of the band's form. so that's the truth unfortunately wow i'm gonna keep it in my head cannon though that you like is to wank on all fours yeah but he likes to wank alone ringo yeah he just said it's a silver lining he's glad that he missed like like you had to wank to be in the beetles you had to

wank together yeah the youtube like title for the tm z upload seven years ago ringo star says he didn't masturbate with other Beatles. Thanks for clearing that up, Ringo. A man can dream, though. A man can wank, though. Do you ever see that video of the Wanking Walrus? He like, he was on the... I can't remember where he was.

Wanking Walrus. Yeah, English Town cancels New Year's fireworks for... blanking walrus what the scarborough fireworks were cancelled after a walrus turned up in the harbour started flanking he's like a punk i'm gonna fuck up this show tonight yeah fuck you fireworks we're trying to sleep he's the only fireworks you're seeing tonight there's a video of it whanking on the beach you only imagined

he could get a fresh copy of that PS5 you know what I mean yeah did he need to get out of the ocean to do that did he want an audience you just fancied it I'm gonna fucking show these humans

Cool David Attenborough I'm going up The way this war is wanks He's got such a difficult voice to do That was pretty good actually Let's round this one off with an Final from Lurr Who says any movies or TV shows you're actually excited

for in 26 Nope I'm pretty hype for Toy Story 5 I'm in the Mandalorian and Gogu Just anything on Disney Yeah I'm looking forward to Avengers

Yeah Avengers with Gogu Yeah I hear Luke Skywalker's finally gonna be an Avenger Yeah, there's nothing. No, I couldn't give less of a shite. Oh, no, no, I've got one.

The Devil Wears Prada, too. Is that happening? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The Devil Ware Priders will return in the Avengers Donesday. the devil from the devil wears it

it's an Avenger I'm looking forward to when the Cyclops from the Odyssey shows up in a portal Oh shit yeah The new Avenger Yeah Dr Doom opens a portal

And brings out the cyclops Brings out all the people Who are criticising the armour It's a fantasy Yeah Don't say bad things about me I'm Christopher Nolan for God's sake He sounds like that in interviews too

Have you been Yeah yeah yeah I didn't know he was a Westchester lad Hello I'm Christopher Nolan from Westchester I'm gonna say actually The next 28 years later The Bone Temple Oh yeah to be fair actually

That's like mere moments away If there's not a character that talks the way I've been talking I will be a bit franked Iron Lung Markiplier Studios Playing the Iron Lung What

You don't know about this You know the game Iron Lung Yeah He's made a movie That he's directed and starred in Playing the Iron Lung Like playing the game No like a movie version of the game

And it's called playing the Iron Lung What? No it's called Iron Lung and he's directing and starring in this film why iron lung because he probably made it like really popular with his let's plays

why isn't mark blire in fnaff movie yeah he's done more for fnaff than anyone no yes no there's one person who's done more I disagree there's one person who's done more I disagree

oh goat that looks goated oh goat will be funny. You gonna see goat? Yeah. I wouldn't mind seeing Marty Supreme. Oh yeah. If I wasn't ill, I would have seen it by now. Oh, if I wasn't ill, if I wasn't ill, I would have conquered the world if it wasn't for this damned bloody bad toe. I mean, yeah, my toe is also sore. How did you know? I was thinking of a different word. What's, um, what's it called when, um, a bunion. That's what I was going to say oh oh yeah i'm covered in bunions i'm more bunyan than human you can only have maximum of two bunions hey sorry not really very good at knowing things or sciences oh sorry bunions aren't

exactly my experience hey siry how many bunyons is too many hey sherry how many bunions does one have show me your feats let me see the tosy woesies uh oh obviously the merry galaxy movie Oh, such a good one. Chris Brad is back and he's going, Mama Mia. Hey, Siri, how many binion... How many minions does it take to make one Mario Galaxy movie? Hello?

How many minions are there? Do minions reproduce? How many minions need per slot? What? This is a crazy one. Liam Neeson is starring in a film called... Four kids wank into a bank. What?

Oh, walk into a bank. Liam Neeson, your cheeky blighter. That's all we're going to have to cancel Liam for a minute. Anything else? Oh, Andy Sokes, his animal farm looks pretty good. That's going to be... Is the goat from goaded, isn't it? Yeah, portal opens and the goat, like, saves them from the pigs at the end.

Right, okay. Spoilers. Hey, come and watch go out now. I thought the pigs were the good guys. Oink, oink That was my takeaway But I don't know if everyone agrees I liked animal farm

Because the pictures were lovely I thought the pigs were cute I haven't read animal farm Since I was three years old Oh Yeah it's looking like a pretty good year Pretty good year Ah yeah

Ridley Scott His next movie The Dog Stars Okay Ridley Scott hasn't made anything good Since the first alien Are you a gladiator guy? Do you give shit?

I've never even seen it So you don't know what this means Beguck Hey you beguck What does that mean? You got to watch the Joker to find out He is the Joker, isn't he? Marking Phoenix goes

Wrong! Isn't that Kevin Spacey and Superman? wrong oh yeah sorry just crossing over my favorite actors have you seen what Kevin's up to nowadays

yeah he's singing for the for the Arabs he's like on he gets on like cruises for like Olicawks yeah somewhere wait wait wait

beyond Spacey somewhere with here with Spacey going scary man. Clayface? Do you care about that? Yeah, I'll see that. And super girl. Surely that's out this year. Yeah, that is out this year. Hello, I'm James Gorn.

Have you seen the trailer yet? No. Should we watch it right now, live on JAR? She goes like, No, I'm not Superman. I'm supergirl. Does she? No. That's fucking cool. She doesn't? I wish she did that. I am no man. I am simply foof. Does it look like I got a cock and bowls away? I look like I play Wonkers daily.

Well, kind of. It's for everybody. Resident Evil's coming out. Is that Kregger? Yeah, he goes like, A lot. Is Chris Pratt playing, um, Chris. He's playing the resident.

Who's playing the evil? I'm kind of the resident around here. That movie's coming out, right? Where Chris Pratt's in a chair. Yeah. I only have five minutes to prove that I'm not the bad guy. That looks good. Yeah.

I'm an AI and you must prove to me that you're not the bad guy. I swear. I double donkey swear. Oh, look. To actually round this off, there's two. Angry Birds movie three. You're kidding. They're finally doing it.

They're jumping straight to the third one. Yeah, they didn't even really. At least the first team. And untitled Jamanji the next level sequel. Oh shit, they're doing another one.

Is Aquafina back? Is Aquafina back? She is. She's credited. As well as Nick Jonas, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, Dwayne.

Thank you, Jeff Pinker. We love you, Jeff Pinker. He's Jeff Pinker. He's one of the producers responsible for Jumanji.

We all. We love you, Jep Pinker. Pinkner, sorry. Well, I think we did it, brother. That's another one for the can. That's another one. Another hard day's graft, is it? Never been more difficult to record a podcast nowadays.

I can feel the, that, it raising. Yeah, I think we timed that just about right. because it's building this blockage. Hopefully this has gone by next week. It's really annoying. It's incredibly annoying, but this fucker does linger. I'm going to be for real. It's a lingering ass linger.

Oh, my God. Stop lingering. Please. So thanks for enjoying. And if you're asleep, I'm going to ruin your, like, sleeping right now. Just ruin it. You, it's such a peaceful vibe... Oh my God, I'm having such a peaceful...

This kind of day, couldn't get much better.