JAR Media Posdact - Illumination Does it Again - JARCast Episode 246

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 06:25 Housekeeping 30:10 The Mario Movie 41:48 Mid Break 42:50 Our Biggest Body Annoyances 52:50 Jamie could be cancelled beause of this 55:41 True Stories Movie 57:18 Tesla/Electric Cars 1:07:04 Apple Sauce 1:17:38 Thoughts on Bidets 1:22:57 Cultural Disconnect watching American shows/movies

Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Jeremy Jeeb podcast today. We're joined by the usual gang. We've got Alex over here, we got Jamie, and we got myself, James, the host of the show. And today we are joined by a bit of Don Papper, one. Welcome, Don Papper. Don Papa to the cast It's quite nice, it's quite smoky

Good time So how are we doing today, boys? Oh, you know Just a bit Don Papa in the air Sprucing up the evening Yeah Giving us the vibe

The vibes to thank the patrons Over at Patreon For supporting the show Keeping it real Make the audio versions possible And get their names read out In the first week of each month And

the occasional early video like the RIPD video Jim and I did Rip D, yep That was the first Jive video Jim edited It was, yeah Did you notice? Did you notice?

Um I need to ask you guys a question Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Am I saying Um, Portiae too much? No No, I don't think so

I'm not, I don't mean on the podcast i mean outside of it you don't say it outside of the podcast he does well no i i purposefully try not to say it on the podcast because there is there are certain things that even i know it they're just too far they're just pushing it too far right um you think you could go too far with porti i pretty easily do you reckon so easily really you could run it into the ground how fast how many episodes would it take i could do it in one episode i could I don't remember No that episode we recorded

That never went live That had the screaming thing Which one? During that era where it was like My thing to go The worst episode We've ever named Nah that

That was still better than the curry episode No no but the thing is The Curry episode went live That one never got It was that bad We'd never bother to make it No but that's because we actually had standards at that point

Like the Curry episode There were not standards True True but yeah for those you don't know what I'm saying I'm saying portie I it's just absurd

like word it doesn't mean anything it does is it portie I Portie I void Is it is If you were to spell out Portie I void

Would it be Portie space I Space void Or is it porti How do you spell porti No it's porti voy P-O-T-I Fuck Is Porti

P-O-R-T-Y P-T-Y Portie Portie eye That could be a thing Like when you got like a You know like a A sty

You've got portie eye You know It's got actual uses Oh so it's like Dunkai Portiae Jack portieye Jack

Jack Septic Porteye Um Is it like Uh Cockney Cockney slang

No it's not coffee No there's not that There's not enough Um Like I've now got Portialiard Yeah Seems more like a

Welsh thing If anything Welsh Welsh Welsh Well the Welsh Listeners If they could

Leave their feedback On Portia Yeah Well I for one think You You don't say it too much I'm happy with the amount Of Portiae

that we're getting Okay so I'm not going to take that as permission to use it like just crazy now no you should keep that you'll never say it again no I'm trying a new tact instead of just going overboard with the new thing that's on my mind I'm just going to see how long I can keep it reserved instead of just leaning into too much too fast you know mm-hmm like what happened with the fate of the bleh

even though I still got a soft spot for that is Bisiye a thing as well Busei I Booty Ivoie. No, not booty, booty, booty. Actually, I think this whole segment is fuck because I think it's Booty Eye. You say, but I've never heard you say that. No, I remember we were playing Apex.

Alex was playing his corstick. You're playing Apex. And he did an impression of caustic, and he was like, I see a boosey eye enemy over there. Yeah, no, it's actually BootyEye. It's not whatever I said. Porti-eyed. Porti-eye is a thing.

No, you, you've said Portiae before, so where do you think... No, Porteai, Alex, says a lot, but he also says Booseo. I've never heard him say that. You're just trying to gaslight me into believing that this is a natural thing. I would have known you don't invite me to Apex. It's not true, I definitely say it when you're there. No, I've never heard you say it. No, but you just don't react.

Yeah, it's, it's just like Alex's normal vocabulary. It doesn't, it's not beat-top by your radar. It just gets ignored by everyone. Yeah, yeah. no like Alex is actually like with this new tact of not just going overboard with it you've managed to make it so it's just like ordinary he didn't even notice this one yeah he doesn't even know boozy eye's been in the works for a long time you've been saying boosie eye I don't know I think you're gaslighting me no this is real

no you're saying boosie eye for a long long time I wouldn't even say so many weeks I wouldn't even say so many weeks it's been months the first time I fucking heard it Because I was bringing it up to say, am I doing it too much? Out of fear of me actually doing it too much from the opposite street. Yeah, clearly you're not doing it enough. If it's not pissing James off, then you're not doing it, right. That's normally the indicator if I know I have a good one. No, you can't just base everything of my reaction to it.

That's not healthy for me. Let's do some housekeeping, because this is going to be a chunky housekeeping segment. Sometimes I like it a bit shorter, but there was just too much stuffed into that last episode for us to not address a couple things that are in there, like the first one, from Matthew Edge, who jumped in on the sleep paralysis discussion, which got loads of good feedback, actually. He goes on to say, I found the sleep paralysis discussion in this cast very interesting. I experienced it twice in my life, both times only a few months apart. The first time, I saw my bedroom door open and a computer. black silhouette standing in my hallway. Excuse me. Slowly walking closer for a few minutes until I woke up. The second time I saw a corpse of a girl hanging from the ceiling at the foot of my bed.

Both times I couldn't move or scream. Which just came out as a weird muffled moan. They only lasted a few minutes, but in the moment they were really fucking creepy. Both times were during a period when I was really depressed and under-exam stress. So I guess that's probably what caused it, lull. Yeah, there are a few comments, sorry, like that. sorry, like that, and a few maybe addressing the origins of this whole dream thing and where this comes from a little bit like a grime doc left a comment saying, in regards to why we sleep

and why we dream, I remember a few years back hearing a justification, although I can't recall the source. Apparently during the REM cycle of sleep, our brain secretes the substance that is required to maintain functioning. But what really interested me about this is that scientists theorized that this substance is so powerful that it can cause hallucinations. Essentially, our dreams may just be a side effect akin to a drug trip, which can make our dreams sound more meaningless,

but I assume, like, actual drug trips, these hazy hallucinations probably draw something from our subconscious to manifest the crazy shit we can somewhat resonate with. Makes sense? There's stuff like that, I think there's so many theories on why, and why things happen, especially with sleep, that it's like there's nothing concrete. because of how complex the brain is,

but that would make sense to me because I think, you know, the fact that we are, you know, just the brain in general and the fact that we sleep the way we're doing this, it's just, it's fucking mind-blowing, so... How does that make you feel the concept of it being a side effect, almost, to a, like, a chemical reaction?

It makes it kind of lamer. If it's just like... It's like explaining the reapers in Mass Effect, they get less and less mysterious, and powerful, you know? Yeah, and honestly, the fact that we know, like, dog's dream, that kind of lessens the impact of dreams. Hmm.

But what if their dreams are also crazy and awesome? I would imagine a dog dream. Like, if we ever get the technology to, like, project a dog dream. Yeah, to watch dreams, like, on a screen, and we can watch our dog's dreams. I bet they're wild. I bet they're insane. Oh, they're, like, normal. They're just their lives.

They just go this sleep in their dream. When you see a dog dreaming, like having a hardcore dream, it looks intense. They're fucking sprinting on the floor. They're like, their eyes, eyelids twitching, their mouths going crazy. Yeah, and they're making weird noises and shit. Liam Talentio said, as someone who has experienced sleep paralysis many times in the past, I've never really had sleep paralysis demon.

I've had a few times where I've heard a creepy sounding voice speak to me, but mostly my experiences are something like where I'd feel my body moving and getting up from bed, while my eyes are frozen, looking at the same spot as if I'm lagging out while my body feels like it's moving, but isn't. Well, most of the time I feel completely frozen, and I'm only able to move my toes, and I feel like I'm suffocating, almost similar to when I have a panic attack or something. I found that the main cause of it for me is a combination of dehydration and poor sleep schedule, so I've started drinking a lot more water and sleeping at better times and have not experienced it recently because of that. So maybe it's just general stress, is a... Yeah, yeah. There's a trigger.

That's surprising, though, dehydration. Hmm. I think it varies for every person because prior to, like, Christmas, I was pretty much dehydrated every single day because I had such little water intake. And it's not something I ever experienced as a result. I think it's just, you won't know what could cause it until it happens. Yeah. And when it happens frequently enough where you can notice a pattern,

I've definitely been like dehydrated before normally I'll just get like a calf cramp or something yeah yeah it's normally a cramp or get in the night or something if I've been drinking or whatever and I'm dehydrated but I do find some peace in the fact that it doesn't seem that rare sleep paralysis it's really not work does they say everyone's going to experience it

some people do apparently you can like induce sit or something there. Like when you wake up in the morning if your lung is off, if you you somehow have the control to get like back in bed and like get your body in the same position and start deep breathing again, you can trick your body into going back asleep, but your brain stays awake.

I guess it's possible. I read some article or something about it and they'll say like, yeah, American presidents would do this to like, so they could press their body. body as well they still think and they can plant and artists do it

that's bull well someone have to fill in uh I know they're into like lucid dreaming and shit and all this kind of

have you ever lucid dreamt though I went through a phase of trying to induce it but I'd just fall asleep before yeah it becomes frustrating because you're meant to like lie perfectly still and stuff

yeah meditate effectively yeah you know what I had a weird fucking sleep thing the other day um I've told you about this but it was like

it was one morning and I went to bed really late like 12 so on a weekday is pretty late but it was like in my mind before I went to bed

it was like I gotta get up a little earlier to get petrol so I don't I'm not late for work so for some reason I started I got out of bed at 244

went to my sink and started brushing my teeth and flossing my teeth at 244 because I for some reason I thought it was like 730 but I remember it because it was like I was doing it but I had no control over myself

but my brain was just like going was just doing it shit autopilot yeah it was like weird sleep walking and it was really bizarre because I remember I remember after like finishing cleaning motif philosophy motif I was like I suddenly just came back I connected back into my body it's like it's like when you you lag out of an apex match which happens a lot now and you come back and you're like halfway across the map being pushed in it was like that I just joined in it was just like oh fuck what we're doing then went back to bed Really fucking bizarre. Yeah, that almost sounds a bit like what that comments said about.

Yeah, yeah. But I'm pretty sure I started doing it again at four. So two hours eight, I started doing the same thing. Damn, you're ready to get up that day. Yeah, but we all know my sleep is a bit dodgy, so... Have you experienced that thing where, like, after you've woken up, time just feels totally different, like, so much faster? Yeah, no, no, because I get...

I try to get up like seven. and it's like my alarm clock's at like 10 past so I'll be up at 7 I'll look on my phone at 7 and I I like breathe for two seconds it's like 6 it's weird if you're on your phone scrolling and like reading shit on Twitter or Instagram like the tens of minutes can just go by when you do that first thing in the morning

yeah but then I do that at work yeah you do it at work or you do it sat at your desk because you're bored or whatever and it just takes fucking yeah it feels like you're looking at it for 20 minutes and you've been looking at it for two. It's really bizarre. I notice it the most when I play a song I'm really familiar with. And the actual, like, timing of the song feels different.

Yeah, I've experienced that before and always been confused. I'm like, why... Yeah, it's a really bizarre session. Why does the tempo sound different today? Yeah. Yeah, I've noticed that. And then you drink a coffee, listen to it again, and it's back to normal. It's really bizarre.

Yeah, I guess I'd never considered anyone else's experienced. that yeah well there was another topic that was brought up that being spider season at the moment and we were curious about

those that live in Australia who have huntsman spiders that are quite big um quite we are the giant compared to anything here at least they're gargantuan but we were curious as to

if like dogs ate them and stuff like that pets um Jacob chimed in Australian chiming in Huntsmen are great to have around They kill all the more dangerous

Aussie spiders and other gross insects I genuinely attach human characteristics to huntsmen And feel bad when people swap them Way more scared of cockroaches Which huntsmen take care of So they're my boys really And I'm sure most other Australians would relate Except for the arachnophobes

Which we really don't have too many of Because we're educated from a young age To respect spiders and to keep our distance from probably because of how many dangerous ones we have I wouldn't be able to be to do normal things if I knew there was one just there

so I'm not I can't just leave that there Not even if it was Just there Like I think if there was a huntsman in this house I could not be settled I couldn't do anything I'd have to deal with it See I would be more bothered knowing there's black widow and house

because the propensity for harm is way higher whereas the huntsman what's the worst it's gonna do like scare you I guess it's no it just fucks it's visually

fucking terrifying as a thing I feel Wong just looking at it yeah I can't handle seeing them in pictures and videos I haven't seen one in a while I might have to jog my memory um

let me read this one from Robert botany on the same subject. As an Australian, I've not seen a pet eating a huntsman. However, before I was born, when my brother was still a toddler, he ate a human spider alive. A human spider. Sorry, can't read today. He ate a huntsman spider alive that was crawling around the pantry while mum was emptying the dishwasher. He managed to consume half of the spider and the other half hang out of his mouth and was promptly removed by my mother after she was concerned about the crunching sound she heard behind her. No, this is fucking bullshit.

This is like a 4-chan green text still, yeah, I'm not believing this. But then edit, yes, Huntsman can move quickly if provoked, but it's usually in that other direction so the nightmare doesn't last too long. So they just want to get away from you. No, no, no, no, I'm not dealing with them.

I'm not, no. They're actually one of the main reasons I could never live there. I cannot live on the street. Huntsman's alone? Yeah. Huntsman's alone, let alone... I'd be more scared of the snakes, I think. yeah snakes

the giant birds that like cut your head off and shit yeah no Australia just is not a place for me I don't think I could ever go back there to even visit what because of the spiders

you'll just be on your mind yeah no it would be like no I've been there as a child and it is a gorgeous country and it's so incredible but like as an adult who has intelligence I can't

it'll be on my mind too much Because we went there as kids Yeah And we saw like a black widow when we were there But yeah I don't think I even knew what huntsman like Properly was to be honest No I had no idea

I think if I had known It would have been chaos I did If this story is true about the kid eating the huntsman That would indicate that A fear of spiders isn't Like Inherent

It's learned Hmm Really, I isn't But I'd also say that Australians are a different breed They're different, you know Yeah, they're programmed different Yeah And so obviously, like, they can just crunch down

I didn't screen cap it But there was a comment saying like Like all things considered America might actually have more dangerous wild animals Yeah, yeah, because of bears And bears and like big cats and everything And to be honest And less scary, though.

I don't know, but like Florida, for example. Like, yeah. Florida might be worse in terms of that stuff. The big cats and the, like, alligators and everything. Yeah, gaiters. But, I mean, Australia's got crocodiles. Let me break up on a bobbles. But it's the bear angle for me.

It's the bear and the big cat thing. Yeah, I'm more scared of spiders. The thing with that is that, like, you can't leave a window open, and then a bear is just... No, no, that's not fucking true. Yeah. That's not fucking true. I've seen so many videos where it's just like,

they go to their car, they just put something in, they go quickly inside and there's a fucking bear just in the car now. Or just in their swimming pool. It's like... Those bears. No, that's different. If your door is locked, I don't think a bear's getting in the house. Like, think about this house, for example.

Or if you're listening, think about your house. If you leave a window open, a grizzly bear can't fit through your window. Whereas spiders... It's... Cougar? Wasn't one of the pool brothers? One of their dogs was, like, eaten by the pool brothers. Yeah, you know, there's YouTubers.

The Poles. Oh, the Poles. The fighters. Right, yeah. The really bad fighters. Let's make it clear. In California, that is just a thing, isn't it? Like, don't leave your dog outside of lane?

Because a cat's going to get it. Yeah. It's like the wrong way around. Mm-hmm. And there was actually another comment I saw that said, that their cat likes to eat huntsmen, so... Their cat? Yeah.

You see, I wish, I wish, um, Billy was like that. I wish she'd dealt with spiders, but she doesn't. She... I reckon she would a huntsman. I think they're big enough where she'd bother. Mm. No, that's a good point. If they can run fast away from you, she'll just blah, that's it.

Exactly what cat will be dead. Yeah. But I've seen her mess with, with spiders in this country. She just sits next to them and just like smacks them around. But they're like... Because they're just a boring blight to her. They don't... No, because spiders don't scream.

Yeah. That's true. Spiders don't show pain, like, like, rat do you. And birds do you. Mm-hmm. Billy would be the best... Send Billy to American letters. fucking exterminate the huntsman.

Australian. Wait, what did I say? America. Send it to America as well. Deal with the bears. The America topic wasn't even the most controversial thing brought up last episode um that being I made the mistake of bringing up greggs right

you that's it I just just complete sideline the conversation to bring up greggs and slam greggs um and it went down like a fucking lead balloon yeah I guess I was banking on one of you guys like defending it or something um James just by no by saying one of us you meant you were hoping I would defend Gregs.

Because I'm the only one of us who would defend Gregs. Yeah, I wouldn't defend Gregs. Okay. Um, but yeah, there was some feedback from it, like a dog from computer games. You guys just don't understand the point of Gregs. It's like a Starbucks or Costa kind of shop that also sells Tesco meal deals.

You're not meant to sit down for a meal with your family. You pop in before work or at lunch to grab a quick, cheap coffee and food. See, don't, don't tell us what we do and don't, understand. No, but in saying that I did say in the episode that I've never had like proper greggs. I've only had

one thing from there and it was like the tuna. But you're saying that's like the purpose of it. It's a meal deal. Yeah. No, but I think they mean people mention that it was like you go in, you get a shit, you get a coffee and you get like a bacon while and it's like £2.20.

That's like the whole pill. That's why all the traders go there. And I can see the appeal of that argument. Just from the price, I can be like, okay, I can understand that. But before we talk any further on this, we have to try it. We have to give Greg's a chance. Because if the coffee is actually like McDonald's level

and the bacon, wild or sausage roll is like semi-decent, it's like, I can't complain about that. That's like incredible. But is it is the thing. And that's what we need to try. We'll give it a try. We will. So I rescind some of my anti-Gregs.

Yeah, I won't take anything back until I've tried it. Okay, yeah, yeah. That's fair. It's shit until it's not shit. Well, there was actually one other one from imaginary age. 618 on this topic. Not a suggestion, more of a suggestion,

that you go and suck your mama after last episode's comments on Greg's. Alex admitted he's never ate there, so the Jalcast needs to eat Gregs on a big hangover and have a chicken baker and orange juice that's lush. Yes, it's brown and dirty food, but it's so good. So, to be fair, I've actually had a lot. Gregs. Like, um, their baguettes. Like, I've had their chicken baguettes. They are quite nice. I do like them a lot. I've had the yum yums. I've had the brownies. I've had the caramel

slices. I've had the donuts. I've had their own drinks. Um, their junk section is, is, is, is pretty good. I like their yum yums. They, they're, they're fat, they're sloppy. That's what I love. the caramel slices are fucking thick boys so this is what I was expecting when I boiled up last episode now you're bringing it out I was a little bit drunk at that point so I could but it's like

but I want sweet shit my go-to's not Greg's they do good junk but it's not my go-to you see that's my problem with Greg's is that I don't want anything they have ever Anything you want from there

You can get from elsewhere Why don't you just get an actual Tesco Meal do? Okay What if one is closer than the other? Well then I understand That I can get down with No but we just need to try it

And we're going to try it tomorrow And we're going to get back to you next week We're going to have an episode dedicated Tell shit Greg says We're going to have Greg himself on the cast To defend his business we have one more comment here before we go into the main topic

of this episode B-stripe 030 When you guys mention the daddy long legs having wings in a tube-like body during the wasp attack conversation My American brain was confused Because in the states Daddy long legs to us are spindly cellar spiders

With tiny abdomens and freakishly long legs I researched daddy long legs With wings to see if the abdomen That was brought up was real sorry, abomination that was brought up was real and it turns out you guys were referring to a crane fly which we also have in America but we refer to it

by its actual name. Does this mean in England in turn simply refer to what daddy long legs are to us as seller spiders? They're just daddy long legs? Don't we call them harvest spiders those ones? Yeah but I don't know if this is

an American Britain thing because I had an argument at work with someone about Because they called a daddy long legs What is a daddy long legs to me They called it a crane fly I was like what They called a spider a graeme

No they called our daddy long legs to you Oh right okay They called our daddy long legs An American cranefly Yeah but that that suggests to me That it's not an Americanism It's just like there are two kinds of people in this world It's one of the scones scone type things

Yeah And the answer is Daddy long legs. Honestly, I'm going to be honest here. Daddy longleg suits harvest spiders better than crane flies. See, for me, why it suits crane flies is because the long leg part of it is so, like, why do they even need legs, you know? They're, like, barely use them. Hmm.

Yeah, they don't really use them at all. They don't walk around, I guess. They don't, like, walk, though. They just fly, they just stop. You're right They never walk I don't think they know how to walk They're all like the worst bug

Yeah they're the worst Even when Like at night time I can understand bugs getting confused Because in nature there wasn't meant to be lights all over the place at night But in the daytime like why are they just smacking into stuff

Why can they not fly in the straight line? Just the fact I've never seen one walk Yeah I'm pretty sure I've seen one walk no you haven't you ain't seen one walk I have they don't

they're either flying or they land or they walk along the floor no they're always still yeah you just haven't seen it bro you haven't seen

I don't think they can do it I don't think they can and I don't know if it's true or not or if it's just one of those like fake pub facts that like that they're like really venomous yeah that they have like

Nah, bullshit. A venom or something? It is total bullshit. I think it's like a biblical tale. Yeah. That God gave them like the most powerful venom. Oh, some of those ironic stories. Yeah.

As a punishment for them. Okay, I can appreciate the storytelling there. What do they eat? What do they do? They don't eat. They just fly around die. Yeah, they just fly around, mate, die. What's their purpose?

Mate. Yeah, aren't they like worms and then they, like, fly around as crane flies for a few days? They're no different from humans. they're a bit different well no because they their job is to mate our job is to mate there's an ecosystem to everything everything has a if it exists

there's like a purpose to it is their only purpose to like feed birds in a certain time and wasps yeah yeah they're fulfilling their job then awful if their job is to get eaten and they're getting eaten they're the most like productive

thing in existence well speaking of horrible fucking parasitic insects illumination of they've dropped some huge news news we've been waiting for it's yet another fucking example of this happening

when I wake up in the morning ah what's transpired and there's that picture of fucking Chris Pratt like the tag saying Mario like this must be like a joke and of course it's like a meme format

now and I saw one that was like it was like a portrait of Kevin Spacey with the like saying Yoshi and it was like God, they've gone too far this time

but yeah they've cast the Mario movie by the Minion people I'll go through the main cast Chris Pratt is Mario Anya Taylor Joy

is Peach Charlie Day is Luigi Jack Black is Bowser Keegan Michael Key is Toad and Seth Rogen is Donkey Kong.

See, this thing is, Danny DeVito should have been Mario. Then you'd have the two. Then that would have been fucking good. I can't even argue with that. Yeah. If you're going to make a Mario movie, you need Danny DeVito to be the guy.

And this is the thing, right? Danny DeVito also has a... He's got a great animation voice. Yeah. He's got a classic voice. Yeah, is Chris Pratt going to do an Italian accent? the Chris Pratt thing is the thing that really stands out the most and that I just don't understand and it's like why

why Chris Pratt What's he been in to be this type of Hollywood guy Besides Garden? Legamese. Is that it? Is that what propelled him? What propelled him was Parks and Rec, I guess, then Guardians. And uh... Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park is a big one.

But he was in that a middle east fight movie oh yeah and he's got like a little bit in her as well he's in the odd all right movie i guess but it's just bizarre casting casting of this nature where you try and picture the voice like yeah is he gonna be emit from a lego movie or is he going to be doing like an impression of

Mario from the games i saw loads of people defending it though saying uh oh if they'd have got the original guy for the whole movie it would just be annoying he's like a piece of professional voice actor but also maybe you shouldn't make a fucking Mario movie if you think the main character with his actual voice is going to be annoying for the whole thing

yeah that's kind of highlighting a bit of issue yeah a huge fucking issue that this character was designed to not ever have a movie he was designed as like a pixelated little thing that jumps yeah well didn't his like visual design come after like what the pixels like allowed in the same space music, but yeah, either which

way. That casting is particularly weird, because Charlie Deyes Luigi, for some reason I don't mind that. It makes sense. He's got like the right. That's casting that makes sense to me. Like I can see some logic to that, whereas the Chris Pratt one, the only logic is

huge trending actor, everyone knows, he's like a big name that people will go and see at the cinema. Yeah, he's, Chris Pratt is skyrocketing to be like oh, he's in this. so it's going to be like a lame just...

Yeah, yeah like tomorrow war kind of shit yeah, yeah, fucking garbage and the Jurassic Park shit as well it's like trash like trash action shit how do you feel about

Jack Black as Bowser? That kind of works I think that could be good well I think Jack Black is talented I like Jack Black he should be Bowser Jr. Yeah, or Toad No, I think Toad is

correct is key do you think so I don't really to me is such a shrill like character I don't understand I think he can do that Chris if he's doing like a cool voice you should have been towed who Chris Pett yeah Chris Pratt should just not have been in the movie yeah yeah the Bowser one is weird yeah I imagine like deeper, like a deeper voice. Yeah, way deeper. Because I'm picturing the visual design of Bowser with like... Jack Black's voice. Jack Black's voice, like Poe from

Comfortander. No. He's better for a Po type character, like a naive, like, kind of goofy. I think it could have been worse. There could be the wok. There could be...

I don't know. I think Chris Pratt. is sort of the rock level for me at this point. He's getting there. But he's actually been in way more good stuff. Yeah, yeah, I can respect Chris Pratt for that. And, like, I actually do like him in some things. To be honest,

if they chose Chris Pratt, I think they only got Chris Pratt because they couldn't get Wine Reynolds. No, they already used him for Pikachu. That's always the other way around as well. If you can't get Chris Pratt, then you get Ryan Reynolds. How do you feel about Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong? Don't talk to me about Seth Wogan.

I just find a lot of these characters having voices is going to be weird. Like when I think of Donkey Kong talking with the... Ain't you some kind of monkey? Weird video. Yeah, they should have got that guy back. Yeah. That would have been sick. And then he has like a whole song.

That would be awesome. No, yeah, you're totally right. any of these characters speaking for any period of time is wrong and I saw like like of course it just exploded into like arguments online and everything

um I saw arguments of people being like people judge the Sonic movie really harshly before it came out and look how that turned out so okay I guess we're just some like different playing fields like for what we want out of this shit

um well what I want is nothing I just give me nothing if this is the option this or nothing I'll take nothing I'll take nothing every day of the week what you're telling me the same guys who made the Grinch the title of creators yeah if Tyler the creator gets a sick Mario beat then maybe it'll be worth it fuck me yeah I'm looking forward to that trailer that's gonna drop and get fucking 50 million views one night. But I question the majority of people who are going to watch this movie

would have never played a Mario again. I don't know, it's all going to be like boomers of their kids. The kids are going to want to watch it because it's Mario, but the boomers. Mario's like Mickey Mouse level. Everyone knows. Everyone knows who Mario is. Yeah, of course. I think it's going to attract everyone.

Including us. We'll have the... Well, yeah. We can't complain. We feel. feeding this machine. Here's the weird thing about it, though. It's like, unlike Sonic, it's an IP I actually care about. Yeah. But it's being made by a studio I maybe dislike the most.

Out of any studio ever? Not ever. It's just up there in terms of, you know, just the studio that represents, like, some of the worst movies of this ilk being made. Yeah, 100% agree. but the only question is will it be better than

free guy yes yeah I'm confident I think it will be villa unless it just evolves into like references

to Nintendo shit which you could do yeah what if they're going for like a cinematic universe where the end game is smash bros yeah the end game would be smash bros

but first they do like the Sonic Mario movie and they gotta do like all that stuff Sonic Mario have a Zelda movie Samus movie That already exists

It's Lord of the Wings Yeah If this movie like Explodes in terms of how popular It will And it's gonna be really well Like there's no way It's Mario in illumination

It's like you can't get bigger Yeah that advertising power That money that budget Like It's gonna open the floodgates even more, I'm telling you. The video movie Onslaught is only just beginning, my friends. This is the gapening.

Yeah. Yeah. Quick side note before we go into the mid-break. Have you seen Charlie Day without a beard? I haven't. Ever. Have you ever seen an image of him with no beard? No. It is fucking weird. Does it look wrong? He looks like a hunk. He looks

like really handsome. Really? Yeah. It's really bizarre. Because he looks like a soft, funny comedy man with a beard She's a hunky fucking I mean have a quick look What was it like a recent picture you saw The fuck

It's wild Oh yeah He looks like an action hero or something He kind of looks like the Mr. Robot actor Yeah yeah Christian Slater Yeah you're right That is weird

He's like really Yeah he's just like a Traditional pretty boy type Yeah that's weird yeah because I've figured out that the beard was essential to the comedy otherwise it's just too hot

yeah because I was watching it's always sunny in Philadelphia and there's an episode where he like does the the famous thing from home alone yeah yeah where he put shaving post shave balm on his face

or whatever and I was like wait a minute he hasn't shaved wait wait I've never seen him shave so I googled it and I was like What the fuck? You've discovered the secret. Yeah, this guy could be like Tom Cruise 2. Tom Cruise 2.

He looks much older of the beard. It completely ages him quite well. It just totally changes his face. That's what beards have the power to do. No, but that's the thing. I think he, you get a beard when you, you, you're trying to find out what the white word is to say. Like, I looked better of a beard. I looked terrible without one.

Charlie Day looks fucking handsome without a beard to white get a beard. To be funny, yeah. Yeah, but he looks like a... I don't know if that's edited or not. That just looks like him when he was quite young. Like, Jesus fucking Christ, that's like... But he has like a particularly sort of unkempt beard. You know, a little bit shabby.

And it's got to be because his strongest, suit as humor and no one likes laughing with a guy that's hotter than them yeah exactly it's why we it's why we hate ryan reynolds so much funny when he was really fat yeah and he's he's equally as funny now but we just hate him because we're jealous of him 100% you've got it bang on there um i got to say i'm pretty disappointed kevin hart couldn't have made it in here i'm glad he didn't he should have been toad you're right he's yeah he's yeah he already sounds like toad yeah he was born to be toad yeah the like all the short jokes as well that you make yep the one joke he has it's like there it's all written in stone he'll cameo his

one or something because he's already in he'll be he's the rabbit he'll be captain toad yeah for the spin-off movie yeah there you go we fixed it see after these messages Stop! Alex, this is it! I'm going to cancel you if you don't stop now. Please stop! You're scaring them, Alex! You're scaring them!

It makes my lips look so strange. It's just becoming the troll face. Welcome to the second portie-eye moment. You mean booci-eye? Sorry, yeah, boo-si-eye moment where we answer questions from the Jal Media subreddit. Leave your own questions here if you want us to answer just any random nonsense you can think of. Like, Big Lad Luke did, he's going to start us off.

What are your biggest annoyances in regards to your own body? to be those times when your balls are just in the way in every position whenever you want to sleep or when your nose constantly runs so you keep having to get up to blow it. I find he's really annoying when I'm trying to relax. Okay, regarding his bowl situation, do you wear loose or tight underwear?

He's talking about sleeping. Yeah, no, because if we might not be wearing underwear when he's sleeping. If I try to sleep in, like, loose underwear, my testicles are a problem. So I have to wear tight underwear to keep them in place. Tighty whitties? No, not tighty vitties.

Do you own any tighty whities? No. Do you? James wears tighty whities. Yeah, I do. I fucking totally do. They're falling apart there, bro. What the fuck?

Don't pull my underwear. Ah! Don't! Did you ask me if I wear tighty whities? Oh my God, you fucking made it worse. Not since I was about three years. It's like a glory hole. They're the worst designed thing.

Yeah. Why torture? Like, your children and buy them for them. Why, why, why torture yourself if you wear them? Like, they, yeah. No comfort to be heard. Um, but I don't know, James, answer this question. Oh, regarding, like, weird things about body, I, it's like, we should...

But, uh, hair. Hair? I don't like the fact that I'm just stupidly hairy. You don't like shaving, that thing? No, I don't. my um biggest annoyance with james's body is how much he fucking farts yeah his stench this you're you're not do you're not representing me in a good light now are you no i just think it's ironic considering uh you busting argi's balls

for farting all day long and then he starts he doesn't have balls to bust true yeah he's lost those bad boys um you can't bully me for my my stank because It's just a result of protein. I can't help it. My body needs to get used to it. Okay? There's nothing wrong with that. I don't actually stink.

It's all noise and no-go. Today. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah, God, yeah. Touch wood stays that way. Yeah, my least favorite thing about James's body is... I don't like how good he looks.

It makes me feel... Jim, you're going to give me a complex, stop. No, actually, no, on a serious note, I don't, I don't understand why I have such huge feet. Don't mind, it's just the apocalypse, bro. Forget about it. No, no, no, honestly, they're too fucking big. Do you know, you do not realize the amount of times

these cause inconveniences in my life. Walk through any door and it's just like my fucking land anchors knock the other door, so I'm like kicking doors constantly because they're too fucking big. You open the door and you kick another door. No, it's just like, no, because, you know, in certain office buildings, there'll be like a door. Because every door fucking frame in an office building is not, is bigger than a door. Say if that half door, there's locked in place. Oh, horse, just say a horse door, I understand that.

Okay, if it's called a horse door, I've never heard it like that, okay? It's a horse door and it's like, I pull open the door to get through, and then my land anchor feet fucking knock the other door. And it's like, I cause a scene because my fucking huge feet. and buying shoes is a fucking nightmare Should we get you some clown shoes? Yeah Get me some clown shoes

Get me a clown fucking wig as well I don't like my giant Puffy nipples The Bolton nips Yeah Yeah something I don't know if it's like a Kiwi thing

Yeah maybe everyone in New Zealand's just got fucking It's just ridiculous Yeah It's just like If you're born beneath the equator, then you've got fat fucking nips. Well, actually,

if we're actually going to be serious now, for fucking real, we're going to be serious. I am being serious. My genuine, like, fuck, blood vessel in my nose. That bleeds all the time. Like, I can't do anything because it just bleeds. That's a genuine ingredient. No, you should be thankful for that.

Why? It can get you out of anything. Yeah, true. Any situation. If you know how to cause it, yeah what's like a minor thing that causes it blowing your nose yeah if i if i just

if i'm just pretend to sniffle for a bit and then go and blow your nose out of any situation sorry i just have to blow my nose a second blow nose blood fucking everywhere no but no but yeah that that's a that's a positive that's like a you know a net positive but at the same time it's like what i've got really bad diarrhea just trying to shit

and it's like oh no here comes the nose now oh i'm like doing so that's one of the triggers diarrhea. No, because it's just like when you're concentrating, like, I wouldn't say diarrhea, like constipation

when you're trying to really shit and get shit out. It's like, because I'm pushing so hard, it just, it comes out on my nose. For the record, you should never push.

I don't try to push, but sometimes you just gollab, bro. No, when, this is something more people should know. When you take a shit, like,

you should never rush that. Because rushing it makes it worse. I've got to brush it. I can't spend like 40 minutes in the toilet at work. I just got to if I can get it out and that's what I try to do eat more broccoli but I'm healthy I eat a lot fiber I fiber is a constant name three cashews loads of fiber in that almonds

okay they're both nuts and they're both full of fiber you name two but I don't know anymore pream juice no but then you've also got to consider It's like when you're doing something like, I don't know, like you're doing something serious. I'm working under a car trying to get a dodgy bowl. Oh no, nosebleed. What about when you work out? I haven't had it yet.

I've had like a little dribble of one, but not an actual proper nose bleed. But it's just like, you want to be intimate? Oh no, I've got a nose bleed. Inconvenient. He has a peg that holds it down. No, you don't do that.

I can't be bothered to do that. that that fuck that I just fucking do that or stick something up in it because that's just how I continue doing things it's a shame one of those people that can just stick their tongue like way up their nose

just hold it there yeah do you have a do you have a lot of tongue control James can you do the yeah I can't do that

but I guess I do have a lot can you turn your tongue upside down no you can you have you ever done that thing if you can turn your tongue upside down and then touch the bottom of your tongue while it's facing up yeah like the nerves are inverted or some weird yeah your brain like feels it on the wrong side of your tongue it's very i get i'm yeah i have tongue control, I guess.

Okay. Jesus. I think that dicks have been sucking. I guess my answer would be my nose, similar to James'es. It's definitely getting worse. Oh, and my eye. Mm-hmm. And my ankle.

And my knees. The majority of my body. Um, yeah, it's definitely getting worse. And I think it's like changing my voice or something. To be more nasally. you know you generally need to get that looked at fuck NHS you need to go to private health insurance and get it soared because with that it's like it can kill you in your sleep

sleep apnea it kills you bro you need to get it sorted don't fuck abound if I die on this one um just blame the NHS okay if what if he dies if he die from this if you die from a deviated septic I'd actually fucking go to hell and beat the shit out of you for that.

Because that would be fucking bullshit. Fucking prophetic fucking out of death. Yeah, it's quite annoying. You know, we've got the wall. But if one of us dies, the cast ends. If you die from that, we're continuing the cast. Yeah, that's the one asterix. Unless it's from the deviated septum thing.

Yeah. Or my puffy nipples. Or a nose bleed that doesn't end. Yeah. I saw, like, a comment on something. I can't remember if it was Jail or not. It was like, you know, I like this show, but I just can't stand the voice he does for the thing.

For the thing? Yeah. What, what? So I was just reading, what do you mean? Yeah, but he said this might not be on a car, it might be on something else. What was something with me in? Okay, or something with you in.

Oh, no, I think it was. No, I was talking about my voice. Okay, so I thought if it was a random video. implying that I like put on a voice when I'm recording like it's not my voice but in saying that what is somebody's voice

everyone changes their voice yeah and also like the way I'll sound in this room recording will be different to if it's like an I-CHI video it's just like me by myself like it's quite weird but people just don't understand that they think their brain can't process

the fact that different and there are people that like watch a video from like 2016 and then they'll watch a video from now and be like what why is your voice sounds so different

no this is something fucking like 19 man you don't you don't realize how much your voice changes apparently your voice is actually like impacted by your life like

you think okay you're gonna have to elaborate into this because now I'm curious I don't know how to explain it's like because we have similar voices but I feel like as we get older our voices are sort of going

in two different directions no I think it's like the same the same seed growing into different I just think it's more the older you get and the more you use your voice the more refined you make it you're perfecting your own voice

it's not so much that it's like it's becoming more of a representation of you as a person your history your life story yeah do you think My voice has changed over from, like, when we were teenagers? Yeah, definitely, yeah.

See, I don't, I don't get that. Because, like, when I listen to, like, when we're editing the cast, I just, I think I sound ridiculous. I hate, I hate my voice, but I know that that's, like, a normal, normal thing for anyone who listens to their voice. Yeah, that's always, like, a thing early on until you just don't care anymore. Hmm. I still care.

Yeah, but that's because you've only recently been editing. and hearing the sound of your own voice, which is weird to get used to. But I find that... I find when I hear my voice, it's way higher than I think it is. Yeah, it's the same thing. And I find that with my moods

and my hyperactivity, it changes how my voice is. If I'm really hyperactive, I'm a lot more high pitch. And if I'm, like, calm a lot deeper. It depends on my mood. It also depends on how familiar you are with the person you're talking to.

Because I find when, when I'm talking to someone like I don't know at all it will be much higher No, you're deeper I've listened to you to talk to random people and you're quite deep but then you talk to me and it's just like

you're high as fuck particularly on the phone if I answer a phone call and I don't know the person who's calling my tone is way up there way higher I'm quite deep and I'm on the phone it's weird when you notice

these sorts of things It's a whole world of voices out there Like that Ryan Reynolds movie, The Voices It's why I never like talking game chacks I'll be like the little squeaker Who's this like Chat and shit The squeaker

That's the new Ryan Reynolds, isn't it? The squeaker? I'll give it five years Let's do this one From Brendan RD Question for Alex As someone who's a pretty new talking heads fan who hasn't gotten a chance to see it how is the true stories film

notice you didn't provide a score on letterboxed is it worth watching um i think jim did see it as well um problem is when we watched it it was like three in the morning and we're like really inebriated by that point yeah um so it's only sort of vague imagery i remember to be frank i enjoyed what i saw of it it was um very experimental and strange from what I remember but in a good way what I like from David Burton it was quite funny

from memory yeah funny and sort of sarcastic but yeah like you said yeah that's why I didn't give it a rating or anything I just knew I liked it but like beyond that my thoughts pretty poisoned

that's a good word that's a good word to use you see my thoughts on Rocky were poisoned Yeah, because that was the The same trip, yeah Yeah, whereas I couldn't that time I couldn't for that one

You missed out, Rocky is... I did miss out, but there's just a tiredness thing I can't not sleep for two days, I can't I can't Bro, welcome to my world Man, man, man, man, man, man Actually, no we won't do that one Eris MSX says, just wanted to mention from the last cast about the Tesla Plaid.

James mentioned that the Tesla could go nought to 60 in 2.8 seconds, but it's actually scarier. It will actually go in 1.9 seconds, making it the fastest accelerating production car in the world. For reference, the Bagati-Varon, one of the most expensive and powerful hypercars in the world, will go in 2.5. The fact that relatively normal people will be able to buy this car for a 20th of the price. of a Veyron is absolutely terrifying. I did. No, it's weird because we, we, you've been watching stuff about this today.

I have, and we were just talking about it earlier, weird coincidence that I started looking up at just stuff about the played. And yeah, I, I, I underestimated the actual speed of it. I think it can't do 1.9, but it's like, it's on the very low twos. Because I think there's a whole video explaining it's like, it's physically impossible to do like 1.9.

Yeah, but it's still, it's still it's still like two and a half minimum and that is fucking scary yeah I watched like a review it was like a car channel guy who was doing a he did a good review of it a fair one he wasn't like fanboying it just because it's like

new technology or whatever he was like critical of it and stuff but when he gets to the part where he actually drives it and he's like now to do the part like I've been waiting for like put the pedal to the metal sort of thing and like the look on his face like it You see, like, the, the way the cars and the background, like, just become, like, lines.

It's just, like, yeah, it's like being on with the fucking fastest roller coaster you've ever been on, but it's at the, at your foot just, like... Oh, my God. No, because they've done so many, like, races of the plate against, like, a fowls and brake horse power, like, Mustangs, and it's, like, there's no competition. There's no competition, and weird that we say about this, because I drove and I free today. Yeah. I actually... I drove my car for the first time. I did.

And as someone who's coming from like a, you know, turbocharged car that has acceleration, has a stupid speed. Like, you can't. You can't compete against an edge. It's just like easy. You're just instant. No matter what you do, it's instant.

You're there. And the I-3 is not like a particularly sporty electric car, but it's still like, yeah, if it doesn't... Like an old one now. It doesn't fuck around. Any... Like, it would get smashed by my car because my car is just stupid.

but like any normal car, any SUV, it's like there's, it's just, the I free is just so good and it's like, since driving an electric car, I don't understand the logic of car people. But you are a car people. And the future is better in every single fucking way. If you ask me right now, your car, my car, I'm taking your car. But that's just pure utility. and practicality.

Yeah. You're not the love of the engine and the love of the... No, no. But it's like... ...mechanical feedback you enjoy. Yeah. But at the end of day,

no matter... Even if you love a car on the engine and all that shit, you've still got to fucking drive it to work. So why make it terrible for yourself? Buy the easier car. It's the same logic that James May has. The fact that he sold is like Fry's, it's just like,

yeah, it's shit. It's like, I don't get this idea. with, like, car people, this fascination of older cars, because older cars are always shit. My car in 20 years will be fucking shit. Because technology advantage. It always gets better. My car's still good.

Your car, weird. I don't know why your car is so good, because it generally is. Yes. I've driven your cars, all right. I've driven every car, like, all the cars we've, like, got, have. And it's like, it is, my car's the worst. And it's also the, like,

The silliest, but it's, I think technology is great and the future is looking bright. I think the cars that people love now, they're not comparable to electric cars. It was concerning in this review, because I've never really done much research on Tesla's before. They've always been more like, I've known they've always had sort of like the best range for electric vehicles. And they've got like gizmos and gadgets that competitors don't have. But they seem to be pushing the whole, like, future shit to a degree that, like, I don't know if I can get fully down with. Like, for example, you can't open the glove box without, like, going on the iPad and, like, finding the, like, button to, like, open the glove. Like, it's that kind of level of dedication to this minimalism thing all through this iPad.

But the thing I do like about Tesla is, I think they've struck the perfect balance between making electric cars look good. while still kind of looking futuristic like you look at these even your car I think it's a bit quirky because it's trying to go for this futuristic like design it's like a pug

and I just think the new the Tesas are they're great looking they've perfected the design and that's great and that's why I'd want to own a Tesla because it looks great and it is just convenient how long until

cars are going to be controlled speed wise like you're driving in a 30 zone so the car can't go over 30 um the only there's the only way to like um enforce that would be have it so that it as soon as you reach a certain air

if you like Google Maps it it will just limit um I'm pretty sure we're already out that technology uh in probably in some countries it's probably not more strict like for that type thing I can instantly see China doing it instantly I'm pretty sure they're probably already are. But that's

the future. There's no getting away from it. They will control because how you could... Like speed zones where you just can't go faster. Yeah. It's like how would you fix road road crashes? If everyone's doing the same speed it's like you would... Because the question of the original question

in the last week's one was like the fear of these vehicles when they are more widely adopted and you have that capability of that kind of speed in like a fucking huge vehicle you're driving around. It would just be limited.

For damage, it's like so high. Yeah, but also look at the technology of self-driving cars. Like, it's ridiculous how far that stuff has come in just a few years. Like, the... 20 years down the line, where's that going to be? The government put speed limits in for a reason. They want you to do that speed, so why wouldn't they literally force it through these systems? Yeah.

And then that's when... If people are going to sit in cars that drive themselves anyway, what difference does it make? Yeah, it makes no difference at all. Because you're still going to get to your journey as quick. That's what your car would be doing if it was driving you. Yeah. It would be doing the speed limit. So they might as well enforce everyone else to do the same if they're driving cars that have to be driven.

Then that's when it comes into the area where it's like cars like mine that are like old school, no computer. Yeah, how do you enforce that? You don't. That's when it would become illegal. Yeah. And that's when it's like, you know, pop a fucking fast and fear of shit when you're out running the cops in your fucking like 2000. Yeah, it would be like a renaissance of underground. Street culture.

Yeah. You're importing your gas. But also, it'll be kind of scarier. Because, like, if a cop is behind you in there... They all just pull you over. They'll just press a button and they... Oh, that could get weird potential. Yeah, there's some scary ways that, like, bounces on.

Yeah, I think that that would be too far. Yeah, that's where I think it's too far. Like, electric cars, you know, a bit of self-driving, like cruise control, shit, that's great. But when it gets to that level, I'm like, I don't have interest in that. I think that's the one way to go for humanity to progress. Has it not already been proven that, like, if it's good for humanity isn't actually really a concern for humanity, it's more, is it easy to access and convenient for us to use?

That's kind of, like, more important to us than if it's actually good for us. Yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, that's why fast food is the way it is, because it's just convenient and easy. Yeah. And we're the fucking sloppy dogs who fucking lap that on if I be fucking hate. Now, yeah, I think electric cars are great and I think a lot of people who have opinions on electric cars should just drive one. Because I've never been an electric car hater, but it's just like driving one, it does change your view. They are fucking good.

I told you, man, that torque will change you. It's just instant. It's easy. So drive an electric car. And honestly, I would buy one if I could. If they were ford, I would buy one. without a doubt get a

2015 Nissan leaf I wouldn't get a leaf though they're fucking gross they do look shite yeah they do because it's like they've tried to make a normal car look electric so it looks shit but the eye free is a little bit quirky and I get it

I remember in my first year of sick form someone showed up in a brand new Nissan leaf they must have just passed their test yikes and this would have been like way before

the adoption of EVs everywhere so that shit would have been like crazy expensive yeah it would have been pretty expensive but like not any more than like a normal car nowadays because cars are expensive okay I've got a couple more here I want to address this one

lots of addressing this episode just had to be done we're controversial I have 8753 says It was really strange to hear the boys talk about how no one eats

Apple sauce on its own Apple sauce is a pretty common snack in America But not We can't talk about this We banned it I'm just calling bullshit No

That's not true That's disgusting No I'm gonna say this This is controversial We might have to bleep this But they possibly can't get any lower, but this will make them drop lower.

Eating apple sauce out of a jar is so, it's fucking so disgusting where it's like we're going from minus 10 to minus 20 here. This is the next fucking level. Is it a texture thing for you? Who eats fucking apple sauce out of a jar?

Here's a hot take. Cooks apples sucks. Fucking no true. And that is a texture thing. No, yeah. You know what? The flavor, hmm nice me like it yeah that's why you cook it you cook apples in something so you get the flavor and you don't fucking

yeah you don't fuck a bun with the cooked apple you fuck that off you have the flavor I think that's what it is for me is just a psychological link to baby food because it's also often apple flavor as well because it's helpful or it's just mashed up

I'm gonna bleep so much of this up no there was on the America topic from last one there was like a comment from someone who was American like I just find it funny whenever James mentions America because I just like don't understand what you're saying sometimes like this frick thing you brought Yeah no that was total horseshit

I was I was drunk I don't know what I was on about We banned America let's not stop talking about it No but we haven't banned the topic of you talking about America No but the thing is that people don't realize is I don't give a shit about America I generally don't really care because it's just like if I don't like America

why would I care about America If I think about America What do you mean by care about America Like I don't give a shit In terms of what Just America's existence I don't give a shit That's not true

You can look at your Twitter And see the opposite I can't know You can't say you don't give a shit When you get this furious Just the mention of the United States of America See no but the thing is it's just like people need to realize that like

JAR and me outside of of Jaya is like different I might hate... Not when it comes to America That's not true No that is true if anything you're more extreme off of Jha Don't say that No it's No I get I've read this comment I get with the same

But it's like I exaggerate my American hatred on Jarre To full comedic effect it's not funny. You do. Yeah, that is just one of your things. Yeah, I exaggerate shit on jazz. It's what the whole thing is.

But no, I do get it. Like, I don't know what my arguments are against, like, America. I don't remember any of them. I was just drunk. You were angry at the use of Frick and, like, censoring. Did you watch, like, a Sammy Classic. Sammy Classic, man. Before we started or something.

No, I don't watch that much like American. like YouTube content but like some of the stuff I have seen they've done that and they've like said Frick so that's probably where I've got that from but I know that's not I know that's not a representation of America or Americans I was just being dumb it's kind of the point of so it's not just an American thing no like every country has people that censor themselves when it comes to saying curse words what else is there to say about America like um what was the question Yeah, what was the question?

Apple sauce. Apple sauce. No, that is fucking... That is fucked up. That is fucked. What do you mean? No, I would say the same. I would...

No, I would say this... Get a jar and go, bong. And then eat that apple sauce. Yeah, like, do you make it? No. Surely, surely it's the same as like someone in England going and getting a jar Marmite and just eating marmite. Or butter.

Butter. I can understand butter. I don't know. I can't... They definitely. only thing comparable to me or like mayonnaise just like getting a spoon and eating mayonnaise this i see it different to like that how do you see it because apple sauce you can eat on its own and it's like no no no an apple sauce like having a spoonful of that is less gross to me than just

eating a spoonful of mayonnaise i didn't think it is less gross i think it's i think it's less gross to eat mayonnaise. What I would say is I think we're not realizing that like, apple sauce in America is probably a lot more, it's probably full of a lot more sugar. It's probably like golden syrup here or something.

Yeah. So I think it's really delicious. Yeah. If that's the case, because it's like, when you talk about food and like the difference between like Europe and America, it's like the sugar content in America is so extreme where like normal things to us. How bad is it?

It's bad. Like, their cereals are so fucking... No, like, they say that it's supposed to have, like, 30 grams of processed sugar a day. Like, a few chunks of their fucking breakfast is like, like, that. Without doubt.

Like, there's a reason there's an obesity... Isn't it our cereal full of sugar, though? Yeah, cereal's full of sugar, but ours is tame compared to theirs. Yeah. And there's, like, there's a reason... There's a reason why there's an obesity problem in America, because there's so much...

There's no obesity problem here. Mm-hmm. But it's worse in America, I can't say for certain I'm not American but I think you've just got to take food subjects of a grain of salt I'm being fair to get more extreme on the food subjects we've got to start putting our foot down a bit more fucking apple sauce no I agree that is too far if you're just eating apple sauce then you're you're a wronging but do you think do people here we just peanut butter Everyone eats just peanut butter.

That's not as weird to me. If you're on like a quick snack, peanut butter is delicious. No, no, that's disgusting. I've never done it myself. No, I've never had it. What about Nutella? Disgusting. I hate Nutella though, sorry.

You hate Nutella? I can't do it. Do you not like hazeln eggs? I don't, no, I don't like spread. It's a texture thing. It's like thick, gunky spread. It just is wrong. Do you remember chocolate spread on toast?

That's disgusting. Yeah, thinking about that. feel a bit sick. Did you remember fluff? No, no fluff. You guys were obsessed with fluff. I had fluff. Fucking grim.

I remember I tracked down like a pot and I had it once on bread and it was like, this is too American. Yeah, surely that is American. That is American. It's just a jar of fucking sugar that you're spreading on fucking...

Do you remember when you were obsessed with like little marshmallows? Flumps. No, tiny ones. The ones you put in like... Mini marshmallows. Yeah. Who isn't obsessed of them, though?

Me? They're great. Here's a hot take. Here's a hot take. Marshallows suck. No. Unless you're having it on a campfire, marshmallows suck.

No, that's... See, as a Britain, as a Britolian, as a United Kingdomer, I've never had marshmallows by a campfire because, in Britain, who has campfires. We need to start a trash can fire. No, what we need to do is we need to go to the woods near the king's arms

on Halloween and have a fire and eat marshmallows. Only if they're mini ones. On a stick. On them little cocktail sticks. No, you're wrong about marshmallows. You are wrong about marshmallows. Chocolate fish? No, I'm not, I'm in part agreement with Jamie

and part not in agreement. Because mini marshmallow on its own sucks. If I see a pack of mini marshmallows opening the cupboard, I'm just putting my hand in and I'm grabbing some. I'm stuck in them in my mouth. I'm chewing down on those mini marshmallows.

Big marshmallows. Because you know you get those big marshmallows where it's like soft in the inside but they have like a sugar hard coating on the outside. That's fucking grim. James wouldn't like marshmallows on a campfire.

No, I do like them because they're warm and they're gooey and they're young. No, but the outside goes hard. No, but it's different compared to some big marshmallows. Because we've had we've had, we've had, yeah. and that that kind of burnt kind of Yeah it's really nice

That is nice but like some big marshmallows Have this like weird thicker outer coating And that's disgusting No all marshmallows suck If you're eating just marshmallow it sucks It needs like a chocolate coating like a chocolate fish Or they're almost as good as those white milk bottle Harry bitts Oh my God

Which is the worst Harry bird You know that they suck You know Alex Alex used to eat fucking flumps No he's Why would you want to eat a sweet that tastes a milk? I know, I'm on the side of the milk bottles, but not the fucking marshmallows. I know, but I'm just pointing that out.

You don't like them to eat. The milk bottles. You just winked at the fucking camera. You're fucking bullshit. I'm not to say, don't worry, guys. I'm with the milk bottles. Man, you... Now, if the jarlings...

The jarlings will agree with me and Jamie here that they're fucking shit. The milk bottles are embarrassing. All the German listeners will agree with me. All the French listeners are going to ally... with us yet again fuck just don't mobilize the fucking South Americans

where else do we have like a big audience America China Australians don't get the Australians on us though Alex please they might have

Huntsman or some shit I don't talk goon bags or something I've seen this ally advert I think it was posted on the jar like whether there was Goons and Nugs. It's a Goons and Nugs event. Guins and Nug The Cameron Cox

Has up an ultimate one. Thoughts on bidetes. Have you used them before? And do they work? Yeah. How many times have we bought up the bidet subject? Yes, I took a shitting one. Can we please stop bringing it up? No, because I've... I've been doing my research.

time you want one then i kind of want fucking jet streams of water shot up my asshole they don't work like that no you can get these things you install like on just normal toilets yeah shoo yeah boozy toilet

the first it was actually i was i watched like an episode of stevo's podcast and he had like an ad placement which was like this weird bidet thing you install on your toilet that shoots water up your assort you see the core stevo gets sponsored by that i don't like the idea of it being attached to the toilet

Like if I'm shitting into a thing I don't want it to shoot water up my ass Maybe it's a separate nozzle You're not like shitting all over the nozzle I know No but what if you have a particularly Explosive event Yeah

If it's liquid It's just going to cover everything no matter what Including that no matter what Is that me and James were talking about this recently Were we? Yeah no sometimes you're just taking a shit And After the shit comes out

There's an explosion Because you know like no if your intestines are like a tube say a wine bottle with a cork in one end how do we describe it as this time it's like the the afterburn or the second coming is like yeah the shit comes out and it releases oh Jesus

it happens after the first shit though you do a shit and then it's like you you just squeeze a little bit more and it flies out and then there's the afterburn after it. Yeah, it's like a shit that's got... It's like gunpowder.

It's got pressurized. Yeah, it's pressurized. Yeah, it's like a rail gun. Shoot my rail gun. Yeah, it pressurizes. There's all this gas behind this shit and then suddenly now the rail gun thing, yeah. And it clears out your asshole

and all the bits that have been stuck in there. And it all comes out. And it just spreads in the toilet bowl. It's to fund us applause. There's fucking. Yeah, Thunderous The Paws, that was it. This is just... Have you never had this?

You've had this. I think so... I've had the rail gun. Yeah, which makes me want a little nozzle to fire water. What if the nozzle, post-rail gun, because of the explosion, shrapnel is launched straight into the... The nozzle. Yeah, so you just turn it on so it cleans the nozzle and then shoot... That's a thing?

Yeah, self-cleaning. well this wasn't said prior no because it's like obviously it's a normal thing in japan the toilets have that's what like kind of won me over to the idea is seeing all these videos of people like this one literally fucking eats your ass what I got one of those no but do you not find it disgusting

that us in the best we don't this isn't a normal thing that we walk around with some more shitty asses all the time yeah toilet papery shitty asses like we get a little bits of toilet paper

stuck in your ass like if someone go it's like you're at work and you do like a fucking you know a well gun diarrhea shit that's not going to be cleaned throughout the day

you're always gonna have like a diarrhea no toilet paper is actually unsanitary as fuck yeah that's why I have the baby wipes man even then dude I'm telling you, the only way is to get water fucking blasted into your asshole.

Do you know what I'd be like the funny, but also not funny? What? Because obviously that is water white. So you just kind of hack it, so it's like a pressure washer. Boom. Yeah, I mean, that's basically the concept. Yeah, percher. Couchering your bum bum.

Yeah. We need to try it. Alex, import a toilet from Japan and we can install it in your... Alex was saying about this little device that you just... No, it's not the same. It's not the same when you've got buttons and you've got heating elements and you can... Yeah, it does have to be warm. Yeah.

I don't want... I don't want ice cold. No, it's got to feel like a tongue. What you do? You get off your ice cold shower and then you get an ice cold fucking spray up the month. That's true, that's a good point. You've got a heart your asshole.

You've got callous it. Yeah, you've got to get that calloused asshole. Fuck me. Let's end on this one from C. Miller, 1515. Hey guys, I hope this question doesn't come across as offensive. But I've been wondering about it ever since the release of Free Guy.

as an American, it's not culturally jarring to watch mainstream movies slash TV shows, as a lot of it originates from my own country. As British men yourselves, is there a cultural disconnect when watching American content? If so, is it frustrating that a large majority of blockbusters are in fact American, or is it just a big meme? I'd love to hear your guy's opinion on this, Cheers Fellas. First of all, yes, this is offensive. This is one of the more offensive comments we've ever got.

Yeah, definitely. Uh, no, like we've said countless times before, the UK is just absorbing the culture of America. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Including his healthcare system. Whoa. Oops. You've got hair.

Anyway, we agreed no politics, right? Yeah. Fuck. Yes. Yes to what? Yes, there is a. Disconnect. Biggest examples to me. Whenever, and it's especially a sitcom, an American sitcom thing,

whenever there's like a baseball episode or a basketball episode. You see, I don't know if that's fair, because if it's like a football episode of something. That never happens. Yeah, I guess. No, but that's like an actual American culture thing that we just don't have in the same way. Baseball, basketball.

It's not the same. No, but we have football and we don't resonate with football. Um, but I don't know if... We're in a culture where football's normal. You know of Real Madrid, you know of Manchester United. So it's not going to be weird to us

because we are just in that culture. Well, we're not in a culture where baseball is normal. But I don't find it hard to understand when there is an episode about like... It's not that I don't understand. I understand what. they're talking about but I never find it inherently funny or like I don't engage with it in the same way. Yeah, like I've never watched a movie about American football. I watch a lot of like

trash American comedies and American movies and stuff and they do that a lot where like a big sports star is like a cameo or like plays something in the movie and that's supposed to be like part of the humor, part of the joke and like I just feel disconnected from that so See I in those situations I wouldn't

Because I'd know about these big American Like stars But like I know who they are But I like don't get why I just think that's a weak joke In anything I think if the joke is This is a cameo

It's this guy It's not That's never funny Yeah I suppose it was funny once It's kind of been overdone now I don't think I ever found it funny There was like a

It was like a thing where reference humour When it was like new and fresh and weird And like the meta commentary stuff When it was like a new thing There is a difference between being meta And just having a guy Just having Like oh it's Harrison Ford in Anchorman 2

Yeah Is that a thing? Mm-hmm. Fuck. I don't know. Did it pull you out a free guy to not be American? But I did... It's so ingrained into our culture that everyone in the cinema is rooting for Captain America.

Mm-hmm. When we saw, like, endgame and shit. Yeah, was that a thing when, like, Captain America came out here? I don't remember they'd be in much of a buzz. the UK about Captain America yeah that original one wasn't no yeah um but now

but then civil war it was like everyone loved that shit I would even say the the second one whatever it was called winter soldier yeah one over by then yeah I don't know a bit of this bit of that a bit of this and a bit of that

I think we're done here, guys. Don't ever mention America ever again. Send more questions in about America things. Yeah, we like questions on America politics. Religion? Religion. Hmm. Hey.

What?