JAR Media Posdact - I'm Gonna Say The M Word - JARCAST Episode 148

Episode Date: January 14, 2019

Beware, this episode is scary af :]   https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia

Damn. That's what you call on an epic clap. So I'm an intro of the show. No, you have to. You're in the host seat. James, next cast, I want you to sink using a booty clap. With the cheeks, like... Yeah. Just bouncing together, producing that beautiful clap.

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this. episode of the jam media podcast oh my god it's put the jarcast james jr media podcast like oh i forgot my fucking water yogs pog pod stacked mama the jar media podcast like woes off the tongue easier it's like i've got it actually doesn't it's actually way more syllables no but it sounds better to i like the jar music podcast need us to say we are the jar cast welcome to episode 140 9-8

she was all bad bad she was all bad she was the queen of England I'd like to start by thanking all of our patrons for helping making the cast possible today we've got the usual banditos we've got

banditos we've got Jamie we've got Alex and we've got Ola Ruben Hello let's all say hello in a different language Ruben just sounded like private, the penguin from Madagascar. Do that again? Hello.

Wait. Did she do you voice him? Yeah. Okay. I've got a way to start the show. Mama. Mama. Mama.

Mama. Ma. I thought we meant to say hello in a different language. Yeah, now that's two. I know how to say hello in any language. What's that from? You know what that's from. I know how to say hello in any language.

Some video game. It was from a bad trailer for Destiny. Remember that one? Oh no. that was like, Oh, shit. I already said, oh, hola. No, you said, oh, hi, hi.

That's the worst one so far. Nihow. Oh, Jim's one's pretty good. Pretty emotional. I would say Russian, but I can't remember the Russian. Oh, mochi, mochi. I said, oh la. Could have just said hello.

So James and Reuben had the worst one. I had the worst one. And mine was right in the middle. Mine was actually accurate. and from a language I somewhat know I'm like yours What was it, Ruben?

I don't, I don't know Mehow! It was hi-hi There was something It was Norwegian We do have a subject Oh okay I thought it was fucking Asian

Anyway moving on from that Absolutely waste of time Ruben by chance Do Norway have any whiskey? Do Norway have any whiskey everyone Do they sell any whiskey in the entire country Yeah Ruben

To answer the hard questions here Do Norway have any whiskey. They've run out of whiskey. I bought it on. Oh no. So they have like anything, any food? No. No. It's actually... They eat snow. God of war, right? That's, that's, that's Norway. That's what it's like. Then you went on holiday there, you were just in some cabbing. I was in midgard. I was in midgard. Eating snow, eating ice. Yep. You have snow for Maine and ice for dessert. No, but we'll buy if you want some snow and ice. No, that can be a main. It's slushy. It's nice. Anyway, yeah. Bitch.

Last episode, we were supposed to do something, but I just forgot. The Japanese Urban Legends. Because my laptop wasn't charged, so I couldn't see my list. What was it? The Japanese Urban Legends. You're going to announce it right now, or is it safer later? No, well, we'll do it in the first half. It's about, um, I was trying to remember how I stumbled across this, like,

lame-ass article about Japanese urban legends. Yep. Or something. Um, so I wanted to go through a few of them, and James said he's like an expert on the matter, so... Well, I know a few, because I'm curious. so I just look at things. Because he's a weeb. You know a few because you're curious and look at things.

Yeah, I know a few of them. I got super scared, didn't sleep for like a week, so I was like, oh my God, I'm scared. That's the thumbnail sorted, lull. The article is from a pretty reputable website, grape.com. Yep. Food culture, art, sightseeing goods and animals.

Whenever I'm writing an essay for university, I go straight to grape, I cite them. They're pretty good Never heard of them before in my entire life Nope I actually have though this thing Have you actually? You probably read this very article

Which reads 7 creepy Japanese Urgin, sorry urban legends Origin legends That will make you terrified of the bathroom Because for some reason They all seem to be obsessed with the bathroom Which fits into the jar media poo theme And wee theme and fart theme

You don't fart just in the bathroom Do you ever just pull your cheeks apart And fart when you're like in the shower ever since Alex started saying this I've done it once and it didn't really change anything will pull your cheeks apart it makes it smell worse for some reason there's no satisfaction in the file when you sweat you know when you you know I completely disagree I've never I've never that's why that's why I'll always be tilting you know you'll catch me doing that tilt and that's when the squirt's going to come yeah

I think that's because James means when you spread your cheeks just goes like you're just slides out. That's not true. Did you know if you have no hair on your ass at all, it's impossible to do silent farts? If you have no hair on your ass? Well, to be honest, how would you shave your ass?

Easy. I don't know. Just got to bend over, get a razor up in there. Oh no, that doesn't not sound fun. Yeah, I don't like the sound of that. Yeah, I don't like the sound of that either. Yeah. I've got like one hair there anyway. So anyway, scary

Japanese urban legend. Let's delve into this, my... Guys, what's that? Oh, James, there's like a weird cut on his arm. I don't you just noticed that. And I thought you would know what it was. I was going to ask you a man. What if something's happening right now?

What if it's ghosts? Scratch your arm on something on the way up the stairs. Did Argy get you? I don't know. It's like you've been got by Argy. I think it's shingles. I've got shingles. Great.

We've all got shingles now. But yeah. Thanks, Jehems. The first one is called Kucci-Mama Sakei Ona, aka the slit-mouthed woman do you know this one James Slit is Kichi Yeah

Yeah I know this one Perhaps the most famous Thanks to depiction in popular media And terrifying images That are essentially the equivalent Parentheses and way better Jeff the killer of Japan The legend of Kucci Sakayona

As many Japanese urban legends do originates from the tragic death of a woman Everything in Japan like starts that That's how the grudge is that way I think the ring is that way as well They're just obsessed with it So basically it's Wait legend says that a husband

Found out his wife was cheating on him And in a rage slit her mouth open From ear to ear mockingly asking Her who is going to find you pretty now Oh I think I've seen this in a minute I think it's the dark night I think it's the origin story Yeah James can we

Let's roll play this uh why do i who's coochie in this jim you're coochie james is the husband so you've got to say who's gonna find you pretty who's gonna find you so pretty now question who's gonna find yourself pretty now you're the husband yeah you're the man and you got to role playing a japanese urban legend it doesn't sound that great i'm jim's got a role play so on the role play a more modern japanese urban legend if you know what i mean oh so about hentai oh yeah i got it Um, anyway, after that horrible thing, um, he said that before she died and then her spirit prays on people walking alone at night, who she appears in front of wearing a surgical mask. She will ask them, Jim.

Do you think I'm pretty? That wasn't a very good Japanese woman, like, voice, but... Oh, uh, but that's you, uh, Deska. That's a lot better, actually. Um, answering no to that question of, do you think I'm pretty? We'll get you killed with scissors While answering yes We'll have her remove her mask

Revealing her wounds And you'll be asked again more aggressively Saying no to this Will again get you killed with scissors But if you say yes She will cut your mouth So that you look like her Scary rating out of five

Five being scary That is absolutely horrifying I think that's incredibly lame Yeah that one sucks That's Reddit here Yeah it's like Reddit too spoopy for me bullshit here. The ones everyone knows are like the

the lame ones but then there's like the weird ones or it's just like... There are like... Bad horror stories are just obsessed with like smiles smiling things like there's that smiling dog There's Jeff the killer Smiling dog He just runs down the road at you like

Yeah there is that like smiling dog creepy pasta You know the one. That Have you never seen that? I've never seen it Smile dog Is that meant to be scary? Yes.

That's funny. Yeah, the smile dog. You've never seen these images. Everyone knows the smiling dog. I don't. I've never seen, I don't know the smiling dogs. It looks like a meme to me. It doesn't look scary at all.

Okay, let's go to the next one. This is probably my favorite one out of this list. Teke, teke and uh, Koshima Raiko. I know, I know that. I don't even try and do a... Teke-Tek. How the fuck would you say that? Teak, and Kashima Raiko.

Better. These two urban legends are often mentioned. together and sometimes rumored to be the same spirit. Both involve sinister apparitions missing their legs, who have no problem inflicting the same gruesome demise on you. Teke Teke is the spirit of a Japanese woman who died after falling onto the train tracks, sometimes said to be suicide. She usually distracts you from a window, catching your eye with her beauty.

She then reveals her bodied torso, oh sorry, bloodied. This mic's like covering my eye. And while you are stunned, rushes at you in a... rushes at you in frighteningly speedy spider like walk using her claws like hands this is written so strangely the sound of them clacking on the ground is teke-takee if you can't outrun her she will slice you in half scariness rating still a zero yeah i'd give that one a two that five this is the best they got I thought it was the most creative one because I like the... Yeah. Take, Takey, Taki, Taki.

It's like, they're like Pokemon. You've got the one that will leave your feet hanging out of the bed or will eat you in your sleep. Is that real? Yeah, that's one of them, isn't it? The thing that eats you from your feet if you leave your feet dangling out of the bed. There's another one that has a very similar story. Koshima Ryko, who's one of the Japanese ghosts said to haunt bathroom stools,

particularly at schools. Oh, yeah, I know this one. After being beaten and abused by a group of men, she crawled around on her hands and knees calling out for help in vain. She collapsed on railway tracks and was severed in two. So it's basically the exact same story. And she, like, asks you a riddle? Like, if she finds you, she asks you a riddle. And if you get it wrong, I guess she kills you.

Yeah, she'll rip you to bloody pieces. You see, just being killed, isn't that scary? Yeah. Like, I remember when Slender Man was, like, before it was what it was. today and it was like a stupid movie and all that shit. The scary thing about Slender Man was the idea that it would kind of just kidnap you and you'd just vanish

he never truly knew what happened where you went what was happening um there's two more oh no there are three more Red Rum I've watched scarier Pixar films Oh

Cars 2 is pretty scary There's a pretty scary bit in Toy Story Two Toy Story 1 is scary one is like I don't want to play with you anymore. The whole Sidge, like, room thing is... But Toy Story 2 when he falls in the infinite bin. Yeah, that's creepy.

That's creepy. No, that's Toy Story 1, isn't it? No, that's the second one. And he's pulled in, like, by the... Yeah, that's Toy Story 2. Yeah, that was Toy Story 1. It's towards the beginning, isn't it? They are just all about bathrooms.

Hanako, San of the toilet. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like an initiation. What? Like Bloody Mary? Oh, okay. There's a lot like that This one's lame

Quick side note Would you stand in front of a mirror By yourself in the dark And say bloody merry three times Yes Have you done it? No Do it then

Would you do it Jim? Do you remember the South Park episode But they did But they said Biggie Smalls I I can't do scary stuff So like Would you do it, Rubin?

Would I do it? Yeah Um, yeah, I guess I had to, yeah, I'd do it. Not if you had to, but I'm just, I'm asking you, if I tell you to do it, would you do it? To show how much of a man you are. Yeah? I just don't believe in any of it. Come on, go.

Okay, this one's pretty, uh, pretty, pretty interesting. What I'm doing it? Acomanto, red cape. It's another one that lurks in bathrooms. It's a bathroom one, yeah. bathroom ones. Well, that was the name of the article. I was terrified of taking a shit. Um, are they terrified of the shit?

Um, why wouldn't you be when nobody washes their hands? True. True. That's, we should have, yeah, that fits in perfectly, the cohesion. The red room. I know this one. No, but the story of the, uh, the red cape is, um, he's a ghost who wears a mask

to cover his handsome face, which caused him to attract stalkers when he was a human. Haunting the last stall in girls' bathrooms, he will suddenly appear and ask if his victims want red or blue toilet paper. Asking for red, he will violently carve into you until your clothes are soaked in blood. If you ask for blue, you'll be strangled until you die and your face turns blue. I like how before we actually did this, I quickly read a few and they're all different.

They're the same, but they'll just like the actual details while are all different. It's just such shit. Well, if this guy came up to you and asked you what, I would just say, can I just have normal toilet paper what does he do to you if you just say no i don't really want coloured yeah because um no made no sense that's a big flaw with these things like they ask you a question and if you say one thing go to the red room okay the bedroom one is actually there's a lot more to it i think what the red room one other trend you may have picked up on in japanese horror is the theme of haunted or cursed media in this case the red room is an ominous

pop-up on your internet browser the story starts with one boy telling you another about the ghostly pop-up, while the more skeptical boy scoffs at it, just like I did, and goes home to search. After searching to no avail, the pop-up shows up with an image of a red door. The recorded child's voice repeatedly asks, do you like? And the pop-up continually reappears even when closed. Eventually, the full message is displayed asking, do you like the red room, along with a list of names, the very last of which is the name of the boy who told him about the red room. The boy then senses something behind him and hears the child's voice from within the room and either of the boys returns to school and a rumour to have taken

their lives and their rooms painted in blood. The thing about that urban legend is it was really big on Tutsu which is like a Japanese site where loads of people would do it and they post like videos of it but the only weird thing is that the girl who committed the Syspo like so yeah it was based on a real thing. She actually did something really horrendous and one of her bookmarks was that the red room like pop up really so that's why it's got a bit of like it's the same though with the thing of the people who got obsessed with slender man yeah and killed that girl or something it's normally like a young a young person has some like a mental illness of some sort and then they just browse creepy pasta shit too much and then yeah you know

one thing leads to another let's do one more should we do go zoo which is cowhead I want to see this Or Tamino's Hell Tamino looks cool Tamino's Hell is a dark and disturbing poem by Yamata Here we go

Inuhiko That became a part of Japanese Macabra folklore Macab folklore Thanks in part to Tucho message boards Tutsu Is that he pronounced it?

Tuch That's what I know of it Wait is 2 H 2C8 message boards. It tells of the punishment and damnation of a boy. What that is is, is 4chan was a copy, literally a copy of that. So it's 2chan. Yeah, it's 2chan. That's the original from like ages ago. Yeah. So think of it as just Japanese. So it's just like a creepy poem. If you read out loud, the reader will suffer tragedy and a horrifying fate. But there's a YouTube video, someone reading it right there, so. Yeah. All of those were shit. What I found? They're all crap.

I watched this anime. There's an anime. Reuben's pretty scared. I'm reading about... I'm just reading about Japanese murder cases now. There's an anime about urban legends, which I watched, and I found it freaky because the art stars are really kind of unsettling. It's called Yamashi Bai or something like that.

I'd say it's pretty good. One of the coolest, like, Japanese horror things I've seen was, like, this short story. you've probably seen it James and I think there's actually a movie based on it I think it's called spiral or something where it's a story about like um this mountain face suddenly has a bunch of like cutouts of perfect human shapes like appear in them um and like everyone is drawn to it and everyone has a hole that like perfectly fits their body shape and their exact um you know just the size of them and something about the holes in the wall just draws them into it so they like insert themselves in and they just gradually go through but the the shape gradually spirals so they like are warped into like a weird shape is that an anime no it's like it was drawn um and i think they've made like a live action movie based on it or

something yeah that's such a weird idea it's i think we've like japanese and like doing horror. They do horror the best. They tend to have the best concepts. Yeah. It's not like American horror which is just killer. That's it. The whole thing is just you're gonna die. The inhabitants of a small Japanese town become increasingly obsessed with and tormented by spirals. Okay. I'm sure a jarling out there knows the story. I just I find that the way they do are really interesting and their whole perception of that type of stuff. I was like mortified and so scared of the concept of the grudge when I was younger. I didn't really find the movie scary.

Yeah, it was kind of lame and dumb. But it's the idea, yeah, just like the Sanderman thing. The Sander man's lame. Well, that is, that's like psychological horror though, isn't it? It's like, it's not like, oh, scary killer. It's like the actual, it's the idea of it that's more the actual scary. Yeah, I remember like a recurring dream I would have. I still remember it as clear as day because I was so frightened of it of like being in a room

and there was a vent up in the corner and like you just saw a flash of the like grudge face and that was I was just burn into my brain for some reason I can't watch anything correlated if I was something like a psychological like Japanese song movie I won't sleep for like months

I can't do it my mind just fucking controls me and I'm like I'm a little bitch with horror now as well there was a time when I was like 17 where I could take it but nah nah nah nah

I watch this movie on Netflix like ghost stories I think it's called yeah it's like pretty standard shit

but I'm like I'm such a little bitch for for decent horror now like not even good but just fine I'm a little bitch you haven't seen hereditary yet

no it follows that film got to me that film frightened me a couple of times too. Actually, that one intrigued me, but I know it's like, the thing, like, horror movies and me is, like, I'm fucking terrified of them, but

it's like, as soon as I see you a little bit, I'm like, I've got to watch more. It's like, it fucking pulls you in. Because I remember this one time, my mum was watching, like, one missed call, which is a fucking garbage horror movie. The trailer for that, and the concept of that freak me out, too. Yeah, like, you get cool, but when you hear your death, and then it happens. Like, that fucking scared the fuck out of me. And, like, I was in the living room.

I walked in to talk to my mom about something left and then I was like through the doorway just watching like fucking scared and I had nightmares for like months but I couldn't pull myself away there's something like everyone's just obsessed with scary stories and ideas like that I can't do it now

and then like you've seen the Babadook haven't you Jim yes I was scared of like the first half of that movie until they show it crawling around on the ceiling and it's funny and they're like oh it's not scary anymore yeah you just looks like a hipster

Yeah, he does In their room I've watched the witch Yeah, the witch is more psychological Isn't it? I wasn't really that scared of it No I just appreciated that movie

I was very interested Yeah I can imagine I empathised of how terrifying it would be for them Not understanding it I found it more foreboding than scary Like their constant like droning music

They play in just the It's a dreadful film It's the whole thing is dread. It's all you feel. It's got a creepy atmosphere the whole time. Yeah, I really like that. And it's just the setting is also like something to do with the woods is like ultimate peak scary to me. Because then we watched the ritual as well.

Yeah. That was, I actually like that film quite a bit. I really liked the ritual. Was that 2018 or before? I think it came out in 2017. Yeah, I think it was 2017. We watched it in 2018. Yeah.

Why are woods and that type of stuff just scary? Why? I don't know. It's the unknown. own. You feel like humans aren't the best at dealing with, if you're by yourself in the woods, like...

We have Severnack Forest and that to me my dad for just all the time growing up was like Seven Oak Forest I don't want to be there at night. I was like, no, that's right, Dad, I don't want to be at seven night on my own. That's right. It's just the whole thing of like, because they're obviously so open and it's just like there's so many

different angles people could be watching. It's just like... It's perfectly still and dark and every, you can hear everything. And the noises, yeah. You can become really aware of the most frightened I've probably ever been in my life was I was walking argue too late in summer I timed it wrong so the sun went down so I was like at the halfway point of the walk ready to come back as it was pitch black and so as I was walking back in the dark couldn't see anything do you know it wasn't near any roads or like lamps do you know what my thing was um it's like when I would say I probably did this up to like 17 18 19 properly it's like if I'd go to like Tesco at night it'd be like

probably around this time of year where it gets dark really quickly like I'd go in the sunlight and if it's dark and it gets back I would literally no joke just fucking sprint because I was so scared of like anything going near when I was younger not like 17 but like 10 going upstairs you get in your own head

yeah and it's like if you were the last one down and you had to turn the lights off I'd run upstairs yeah yeah my dad used to like get me for it so I had to like walk quickly, like run to the stairs and walk quickly for the point where he'd hear me, so you wouldn't know that I'd run out the stairs or whatever. I just remember it because when my kitchen is kitchen is downstairs and it's not the biggest house but it's multiple floors

and it'd be like the doors like there and the light would be there so it would just be like, oh look right, instantly one of the stairs I feel like that's a really normal thing to do. I still do it sometimes now. I don't like putting my back to where I can't see when I'm getting paranoid about shit. I think no no when I clean my teeth because where my bathroom is it's like the hallway my womb the bathroom so the doors face each other so that my lights on so when I when I clean my teeth I'll look in the mirror and then clean my teeth like that so it's in my eyes like because

the stairs is there and then it's just like I'm terrified like a habit like I can't brush my teeth without doing it I have to look around and be like I'm terrified of going into the bathroom turning the light on while looking at the mirror and then see something behind me and then turning around and nothing being there yeah i've done that as well it's such a cliche but like if it were to actually happen oh my god yeah i'd just drown myself in the bath immediately like i can't put up with it i remember one of the worst ones is when you've got something hanging in the room or there's something vague human-like shape so your brain tells you shit that's something there Going to kill it, kill it.

I remember this one time we were all at yours. And Jim spoken about this before, like to us, I think. It's like, it was nighttime, and we were going, like, downstairs. And it's like, because of where your bathroom is, there's the mirror. And then there's a window next to it. And Jim spotted something in the window. And it wasn't actually there. It was like a light on the tooth brush charger.

Yeah, I thought there was like an alien spaceship coming to abduct me. And I remember because you said, It was like a flashing blue light. You're like, where the fuck who sat? And then we literally sprinted downstairs and we're just like fucking out. We're done. Well, there was that time, Jim,

we thought we saw a ghost. Do you remember in the neighbor's garden? Yeah, it was actually just some white chairs. It was just some white chairs stacked on top of each other, but you just wind each other up. I remember after watching Pan's Labyrinth for the first time.

That's a guy. Holy, yeah, that fucked me up. The pale creature. The pale fucked me up, yeah. I used to be terrified of that. I remember, like, I watched it, with a few people and afterwards either I or one of them said

I think I saw outside or some shit yeah and everyone stut but when I was walking in summer and I was trapped out there at night there's like a river by where I was walking a really shallow stream

and it was pitch black and I couldn't see anything but I heard like footsteps go through the water really loudly it was like I think I literally out loud said oh hell not and just ran for it. We'd argue, no, I actually just ran

because I was not expecting it at all. It just sounded like something walking through the water. I bet it was just like a fucking duck. It was probably like a, yeah, some... Or it was a mammal. Ugok too. Probably was a river runner. That's why, that's why, like,

dogs are great. It's just like, a dog ain't dumb. But then there's times when, like, you're scared, but then your dog barks it annoys and it's just like, oh, fuck. The worst way is if the dog gets scared, as well. We're going to die. We're both going to die. Cats are scary day.

Not long ago, um, don't do that. I actually read something about on Twitter, so I was saying they actually got home by ghost and it's to do with cats and I fucking freaked out. Grouch had the cat, didn't there? It was like a boy with the voice of a cat because their soul's got mixed up or something. But yeah, not long ago, um, I heard some cat shit going on outside, so I was like, okay, you better check this out. Like Billy having a fight.

So I go down, open the door, and Billy's just by herself. So I take a few steps and then I just hear this fucking boom. Come from like, like something's jumped over the fence and it's made a crash. And then it happens a couple times like again and again. So it's just a cat jumping onto a big metal thing next door. But the first time I heard it, I was like, huh? Do you know what? now it's like I'm so paranoid

it's not like just anything scary it's just like people if I hear someone like walk by my house I'm like up like it'll be midnight and I'll just wake up and I'm like taking like defensive actions like grabbing something to like smash it on my move it's just like I'm too I listen too much when I sleep

because I'm like the my parents are on the top floor I'm on the middle floor so if anyone broke in I'm like the first like thing you're the first so it's like now it's like I'm so used it now that if it's like if there's noise I'm like I'm ready to fuck shit up so I'm like on edge all the time

and it's really terrible but then there's guys who's like who'd how like a motherfucker that's true argue would alert everyone that's a great horror episode in January I'm also like that because someone literally tried to break into my house once

when my sister was downstairs pregnant at the time and that freaked me the fuck out and since I've just been like if you go in this house I'm gonna fuck you up well we'll continue after The D's nuts messages. I don't know if we wanted to finish that story, James, about being burgled or something. Oh, no.

Before you go into questions? Like, around Christmas, you know, like burglaries are more common because of presents. And it was before Christmas, my sister was pregnant at the time staying in our house. She was downstairs in the bottom, like, study at the time. But it was a room. And that window faces the gate.

and then someone opened the gate walked up the door, tried to get in, started pushing it, and then just legged it out. Obviously, if you're pregnant at the time, it's like, oh shit. So since I've been very defensive over any of that type of stuff. We should have guns. For self-defense, straight up, if someone's going to house bang again,

you're getting glopped. If guns were illegal, then you'd have to worry about them having a gun. You glock them first. As soon as you... Yeah, you know your house better than them. So you... It's like home alone. You do. Except with a fucking... Except lethal. You literally, you take the Japanese folklore legends and you hide in creepy places and block them. Mm-hmm. A bear trap's legal.

What you do is you set up a series of... If someone breaks in, it just turns into a round of siege. It's just like, weep. You set up a series of high-powered defense turrets at strategic locations, and then they trickle in in waves, and you've got to make sure they don't get to the end. Basically, no weapons are legal here. You can't own anything. If they can prove that you only own it as a weapon, then you've got your dump.

possession of a weapon if someone breaks into your house and you smash them with a bat that you that they say you only owned because you use it as a weapon you get a prison as well well so you can't have a really yeah yeah so basically if you own like a baseball bat's not you have to at least use it for baseball yeah you have to be heard to prove that you just have it you have it for baseball okay and you picked up incidentally it was the only thing available to you to defend yourself it's a good thing my dad plays golf fucking so what like a spanner Well, if you're working on a kite, you're always going to have a spanish.

You just whack them with a spani, don't you? That is so stupid, though. If someone comes into my house... Yeah, you can be prosecuted for fucking smashing them when they've come on to... They broke into your... Yeah, they're, like, famous cases of, you know, robbers cutting their legs as they break in through the window they've smashed, and then they, like, sue the owner of the home and stuff like that.

It's that stupid, like, technicality of those kinds of laws. the kind of loopholes If someone goes in room of property I should be able to fuck them up And not have any repercussions Yeah Personally, it's how I for sit So how do you feel about it

Counting as Like indecent exposure If you're naked inside your house And someone from the outside sees you You see that depends That depends Because if you're like standing If you're like jerking off in the window

Yeah like staring at people If someone breaks in and you sleep in your fucking undies and you run down with a baseball bat in your undies it's like you can't get done for that because you're asleep imagine just fucking with like a burglar who's um trying to break into your house like if you happen to have like we've got weird like props here you just dressed up really strangely and just were like it'll be like that part being really weird around them like through the glass looking at them and shit it probably just feel like yeah yeah that doing that sort of thing like in the shining you know where

she's running around and then she sees the guy like sucking off a dude. Yeah. And then he gets up and he's just wearing that like dog mask. Yeah. It's like,

what you're saying is if someone breaks in pretend to be a Japanese urban legend. Yeah. Just put on that black wig and wear like a surgical mask. And make some creepy noise

the whole time. Aya, yeah, yeah. What you need is, you need like, flickering blue light and a surgeon's mask

and like, just like a weird saw and you just look at them for a while, holding your like surgical and surgical sword. Just stare at them for a bit. Or get really

fat and buy a katana they would not fuck really that and a cool hat and a cool hat yeah some kind of fedora or something something something to you know kind of classic you're really white in the mood

so basically what we're saying is if anyone breaks into your house jar fans just straight up twerk in front of them and they'll that might freak them out if you're dressed up as like if I was in that dinosaur costume if you're dressed up as the red room

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a great answer Jamie that would actually be great though like in the future in a hundred years when people have like augmented eyes in America though you when they go into your house you you make them enter the wed room and the pop-up comes up on their eyes can't escape then in America though someone breaks in Glock those motherfuckers who gives a shit they broke into your house motherfucker that's literally how it is yeah the country of the free what if it's revealed that it's like your teenage son who like lost his keys and snuck out and you just I'm pretty sure that's happened like people

gunning their sons down it's just I'm pretty sure that's an actual case you just I remember reading about this yeah damn it's not like they get gun they would like straight up get like AR 15s and just yeah shoot through 15 houses

what you're gonna do is get to a strategic location just to identify yourself mr. flash thunder what you want to do is you want to set up your thermite charge and be like making a new door when they least expect it that's what you want to do See, that's why I should live in America

So we can weaponise Weaponise I just wanted to show my cannons A mine's legal You're allowed to own mines Claims? They're like landmines Yeah

I don't think so Why not What's the fucking point of living in America If you can't own a simple mine So what you buy a house And then put fucking claim wars up Every door You can imagine it

You got under the like the doormat You put a fucking landmine It's like this thick Landmine under it Rugs like this It's like why is it I mean Mined himself again He's just got no legs

You just bury them in the garden Fucking Argy runs out Yeah, because if someone Climbs over the back fence They just blow up What if you have to climb over your fence one day Well, I know where the minds are Well, but if you accidentally trigger it

By just jumping a bit too Oh, the film we watch Kajaki Yeah, I was just thinking that too Tense Do you know, I actually came into my mind today when I was working. I think about the way this thing's don't work.

I was thinking now is the perfect time to kill someone. I say this because currently in the world there's not many anti-dron things. See, by a drone,

you drive your car like a furthest distance away, middle of the night, stick explosives to the drone, go to their window and blow the drone out. But you can't get explosives in the UK. You can make explosives.

But that's so easy to track. Yeah. The ingredients That's the downfall of my plan. Yeah. But surely there's a way to weaponise drones before it's mainstream. Maybe in America where you can like, where guns are legal. Yeah, mount guns to a toot.

Then you can, no, but that's too technical. I think it needs to be like, you know, ISIS in like whatever country to find in, actually use drones to like drop bombs in cars and shit. That is actually a real thing. Because I was reading this article about it and it was about the Gatwick thing. and it was like how to stop drones by the wacky army or something it was just like kill the person using it so it's like it's a gatwick they just should just shot the person using it basically let them know who the person using it was though it's a conspiracy theory it's obviously a conspiracy

fear that all right anyway let's do some questions from the jar community over at the jar media reddit page uh i want to start with this one from fart in my poopy ass it's fucking huge it's a jar-related disaster anecdote, so bear with while I read this. I haven't read it, so I'm... Hi, JAR. I want to share a jar-related disaster anecdote with you. So there I was on a Monday, this Monday, making my semi-daily trip to Tesco late at night. Very fitting with this story.

We mentioned that very, very subject. When I decided I wanted to hear your epic voices through my headphones instead of my regularly scheduled listening material. Yep, yep. For the past few trips, then I've been listening to the jar cast on my Tesco walks, which is way more entertaining than music. Ha, damn right. Only problem is that, while I laugh at the jar anyway, it's even harder to look normal when you're holding back laughter in public, which makes me look like a bit of a maniac when I start laughing at nothing, while poor bystander's watch. Things truly came crashing down a few hours ago.

I was on my way to grab a lovely cake, or is that lowly cake? Is that a thing, Rubin? That says a lowly coat. This is lowly... Oh, sorry. Yeah. Loli Coke. My mistake. When you started the discussion on who the whitest black person is,

no more than 10 seconds passed when I let out the loudest snort fathomable in front of an incredibly confused middle-aged man as he was entering his home. He turned completely around and gave me the dirtiest stare I'd ever seen. Of course, we were the only two people around, so I couldn't have just walked off and pretended it wasn't me. So I left to absorb the cringe in my paralysed state. The man watched me as I very awkwardly scuffled down the narrow road to continue my everlasting journey to Tesco, where I purchased my Coke with shame. I nearly exhibited the same mistake on my way back,

but luckily caught myself before potentially scaring the small family walking in the opposite direction in the distance. I'm safe now in my room and gaming hard at Red Devemption 2. This was surely an interesting day for me, and I hope you guys have a great rest of the cast. God bless, Ruben, full step. My name is not Rubin, I'm just personally blessing Rubin. Are you God? He's God.

I've got a weird thing about that. Why is it that if you show like happiness in public, you get judged? Like he was laughing. What was so bad about that? But it was a snort laugh. That's where he made his mistake. That was his downfall. That's like happiness.

That's like finding something funny. Why is that a bad thing? Because people laughing. public and they wonder what you're laughing at yeah people automatically assume you're laughing at them so if I see someone laugh it's just like that guy's laughing he's having great fake fun cool I don't know why people are negative and think you're like the weirder laughing in public I was straight up like I'd that stuff does not bother me anymore like if I I will burst out laughing out loud in public I just

don't care I will show up like dance in my car in traffic or like the Orville alien says who Who is the best and worst role model in JAR? James is the best and the worst. Reasons? Okay. Okay, what he's... Quite responsible in terms of his job and things like that.

But not that good at Rainbow Six. Very irresponsible in other that department, so... Like? Spending loads of money on your car and stuff. I wouldn't say that makes you a bad road model, though. I mean, it is his passion. No, I would say if someone is sitting there is working hard doing overtime all the time

so they can work on something they're passionate for, that doesn't make them bad. That is what you want. from a world model because it's like yeah why's that bad yeah that's a good thing I retract it I retract it because that person just drives really dangerously all the time I don't when really epically when other people in my car I drive as safe as possible because my life is in their hand my their life is in my hand so I'm not like he's on his own there it's just like just drinking fucking flipping that

steering all over the place that's it no I'm screaming at people you don't indicate oh that just an that and always me when I'm just a passenger I get upset with things like that. No, but when I do that, I exaggerate because you're in the car, so I just scream out of nowhere just about someone not indicating. It's too funny. I don't know what. I don't really know how to answer this.

Wrong model, it's like, I say to be someone's role model, you need to know them quite intimately, I guess. You need to know them quite a lot to be able to... I don't know, because I'm sure Kevin Spacey was a lot of people's role models until... I mean, if you idolize certain aspects about a character, that's fine, but don't assume that that is everything that that person. there you go nobody's perfect you can like you could have say Phil Fish was your role model but just just that the guy who made Fez who's like an absolute

twat say you'd be the part you had you were you found a role model and appreciated was just his dedication to making a game and that's as a singular like person a singular creative vision yeah to me a one model or like an idol it's they're complete packages of like what the who they are it's never just one single thing but it's like I idolize someone like Quentin Tarantino but I do think he's a bit of a dick

but he's good at the thing he's famous for you know yeah I hear that I hear that but going into role models is a different subject of who we read my models who will just wait for that when someone asks us that question

I don't mean there's anything really like it's usually people that are quite a bit older that have done a lot more things that are like you know there's a good person to idolize or think as a role model they've done a lot of things in the time they've been alive I'd say James and Alex are the good role models and me and reuben are the bad ones no but I mean Alex are the good role models I like how mean if you look at the positions Jim and even are sitting the same mean Alex is sitting for arm crossed and it's like I'm starting with my leg crossed over me look at

Jim kind of is I don't know how mean I said a good one models though I don't get that I wouldn't say any of us are bad role models. No, because we're not... Me and Rubin are constantly twerking. Hmm. Yeah, I would not. Because none of us are like... Objectifying ourselves.

None of us are a personality like... Jake Paul or Keemstall or something. Mm-hmm. Because it's funny that Keem Starr is, he's not the best role model. I would never call him like a good role model. He's just funny. I do tase the rats that Billy kills.

I mean, but that's funny. It's funny when you do it. Okay, cool. Yeah, sweet. to me a one model is a complete package to me you're a complete package thank you Jamie I just want to suck on a complete package

you know what I'm saying malicious pixie says question for all except Alex what was it like for you all when Alex started to gain a large online following was it especially surprising to be when Alex started to gain a lot of weight that was what I was that was what I happened

was what I was thinking Mama. Were you guys at all jealous or just happy for success? I've never been jealous of Alex. I was pissed off because Alex basically... He's always been shorter than me as well. Can I get my point across?

Because James did one and I wanted to do a joke as well. I was always pissed off because Alex stole all my ideas. So... I'm sorry, James. You're also a joke as well. The fact that Alex has completely ripped me off and and got what, like, 8 million

subs is it now? From just my idea He's actually Every video idea Every video idea Every video Every one of his channels You know

Cooney was just a fool guy But your brains of the organisation But I was also the full guy Before I make a video I actually just Call Jim on FaceTime And I'm like Jim, what do you think of a big mouth And I've got my like notebook And Jim and Jim

Never realises what's happening. No, I fall for it every time. Then you watch the video and you're like, huh, I'm getting weird deja vu. You just use the audio from the phone call of me saying, yeah, because we've got a similar voice. I'm a bit more, I'd say I'm more gangster than Alex.

I'd say that's fair. What I would say about this is if you're spiteful for your friend's success, then you're not their friend. Like, Alex, you know, Alex is a big YouTuber And I'm, that's great Because he's worked for that Like, I'm proud of Alex

For doing that So like, I'm still trying to work On my success So like, why is Yeah, but what you've got to remember is No matter what you do Mama No matter what you do

I'm still more gangster than you I'm always going to be taller than you Damn Not if I wear high heels True What if I just wore high heels as well The same year Bigger high heels

And I'll wear bigger ones too I'll get the biggest Stilettos in the world And I will wear them break your ankles reuben's the room's always the big man till he's eating my ass do you remember when um that's fucking horrible i remember that that day i got like a hundred subs or something that was my favorite moment getting like 500 subs or something

i don't know when i realized it was like oh this is actually something this isn't just another man man boy boy man because that's all it was in two alleys just like i just like a few conversations where you're like well my parents want me to go and do this I was like fuck doing that you just keep getting subscribers it's not going to suddenly stop if you just you know you don't stop you stop making videos I think it really hit me when I just moving out to a flat it was just like okay this is something else well when you were making more money from YouTube than your part-time job at Sainsby's which wasn't much but it was still like oh okay then yeah I was the only thing I could use to convince

people you know yeah it has to because the the idea is so vague anyway yeah you have and people don't understand how the actual monetization of it works in a way people the number of times I've been asked by the same people asking me yeah like over and over again I'm like it's just adverts I just say that's just habitat yeah there's no you choose no no more questions yeah yeah the number of times I had as well when Alex was doing the start of it back at the back in the day was like oh is I was still making those videos they would say your surname

because you know I guess that's how they were dressed you because they didn't know you but they knew I knew you and I was like yeah I do remember that all the people in like I years they were cunts about your YouTube thing

and you used to mock you through me I was like and now and now just look fucking compare them it's just like you fucking little shit yeah that shit never got to me though because it was like I think if you let that stuff

get to you you're you're the damage in yourself and your actual progression. You just got to go through. As long as you're realistic the whole time, I guess. Yeah. Like, whatever. Whatever, yo. You just keep doing your thing.

Tomeo sauce says, Alex, what are your thoughts on Disney's the Wild? It came out at the same time as Madagascar and had a similar plot. Have you seen it? No, but I remember. I'll show you the trailer. I don't... Sorry, the poster. But it was really ugly, the poster. Shit tier compared to Madagascar.

Honestly, that was before, um, that's not the one. It's just called The Wild. The Wild. God, it's so, like, no one cares about this movie, there it is. 2006. Wow. So, holy shit, that, oh my God, that, that was Disney. Steve Spaz-Williams directed it, and it had Keitha Sevaland, Jim Belushi, Eddie Isard.

Oh, solid snake. Solid snake. Big glass, even. God, it's very similar, like the, the poster has a giraffe, a lion, a koala, a crocodile or alligator, and what is that, a squirrel or something? Shit, not even funny. Bad character designs. This is what I mean.

What I have four character designs. I like the Madagascar character designs. I actually think they're good. They're really expressive. I didn't realize how good they are until I just saw this. Yeah. This is atrocious. And the way they're animated in, in those movies is so, it's just.

just like a cartoon yeah in in 3d you learn a lot about them just from looking at them as well yeah the yeah props to dream works for that because they can be so they can be shit like like home you see it's like it's such a home yeah it's a dreamworks film called home it's like they recognize that as well like they make shit like this yeah home and and the main it's like with Rihanna. Yeah, Rihanna's like the girl and the guy from Big Bang Theory of years like the alien. That, mm. Not even funny.

Fuck DreamWorks and fuck Disney. Animated movies? Always shit. Terrible. Terrible. For babies. Mm-hmm. If it ain't live action, it ain't for me.

Yep, that's right. But Tron. That was live action sort of, a bit. Tron. I ain't seen Tron. That was Disney. You've seen the new one. The new old one now.

What new old one? Tron Legacy. I haven't seen Tron Legacy. Really? No, I don't give a fuck. That film looks shit. I think it's kind of worth watching once. I'd say it's worth watching.

Yeah, it's interesting. Nah, I don't give a shit. Looks shit. You're mean! I just know, because you've told me about it as well that I wouldn't like it. When you first, like, re-watched it, you said you would not like this movie. No, but you don't have to, you don't do much it then, just isn't the soundtrack. The music, the soundtrack.

amazing. It's the best example I can think of, it's the one I always go to of like shit film, really, really good music. Like, not just good music, but really good music. Yeah, but the soundtrack is on Spotify, so like... Yeah. I've got no reason to watch. You can listen to that soundtrack and just infer some kind of story that's more

inventive and imaginative than... Yeah. And that good actors in it. Yeah. Jeff Bezos. Yeah, Jeff Bezos was awesome. Yeah. He's my favorite character. Uh, Mars... Marsolotti says, Hey Jha. this one is mostly for James what do you think about Tesla's also do you like Elon Musk?

Tesla's I hate Elon Musk before yeah he's a bit of a fucking cock especially the whole pedophile thing of that guy that's why I was cool with him until that mm-hmm he was just a cock can you explain what that is okay so you know in Thailand a bunch of like oh there was the that was the chaos trapped in a cave that's right yeah well Elon must sent over this submarine there to like help and this this guy this English guy I think he was he's like an expert, he's lived there for years and he's an expert of the caves

because he like does caving and that stuff and he was saying that the submarine Elon Musk said, whatever his name is, sent wouldn't fit in the caves and because of that Elon Musk literally just posted on Twitter he's a pedophile.

He just went rampant and sending the guy emails to his personal email address calling him a Pido and stuff to the point where this guy had to like he took the lawsuit yeah really and I'm pretty sure Elon Musk was just like

I'm sorry Yeah, I think he got him to throw it. He was like motioned to get it thrown out or something. It's just crazy, though. It's like a real 4chanter thing to do. Because the guy, Leitchie did it, no money. It was just helping out to save these kids, and it's just like he's getting called a pedophile by Elon Musk.

But in terms of Tesla's, I just think there's a lot of controversy around with Tesla's and stuff in America. If they're gigafactory and, if you might have money, they're taking out of the government and the fact that they haven't met any of it yet. There's constant. What do you think about the actual, like, product vehicle though they're cool looking yeah i think they look cool they're a bit too big for me they're massive vehicles they're huge they're really they're really cool i don't want they're

yeah they're they're just like the premiums you're paying for them they're too much money go buy preas go by bmw i3 yeah that'd be a good choice it's lighter as well the police users in London. And they're in Norway everywhere. They're all over the place. The I-3? They must be good for the police because of the acceleration on them.

Just catch up to them. If you're on a waste of motorbike, it's just, B-H-E-Sleep. How do you think they're knocking off the moped criminals in London now? I-3. That's actually really good, yeah.

Eat Sleep Anime says, Question for Jim. That's the shirt from the first Christmas. Yeah. Oh yeah. What the fuck is it with you and toking on your Instagram? You know how it be? Damn. Jim's a real.

He's a bloke. And he likes to... Toke. That's right. Choke. Nice. But Jim, that's sick as fuck. Sishi, fishing, going back to Madagascar briefly.

Can we agree that the chase scene at the beginning of Madagascar 3 is a genuinely great action scene? From the pacing to the music. boundless logic and they're running through walls also that Hans Zimmer music in the third is better than the usual stringy music he always does game on is the best on the soundtrack I don't know I've got no comments I've not watched it I'm not a fan of hands his soundtracks for Madagascar I genuinely really good they might be his best his best work ever Madagascar two and three have amazing soundtracks I can't believe how good they copied no they're not copied didn't something copy the managascar one there's a particularly good bit in madagascar too in the plane crash sequence

where it's like going through all the characters and then it goes to king julia and he's like floating and it like incorporates the I like to move it instrumental into the like action music but it sounds so dumb wasn't it transformers? It really works there's a Transformers song that is a

literal copy of the Madagascar one yeah the compositions are like really similar there's like da na na na na na na na na na It's similar to... N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No, what is it? Yeah, it's... D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D... Yeah, that's the Madagascar one.

Yeah, it's got, like, the same chord progression. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the epic, edgy version of it. Yeah. But the, yeah, it's... Which came... Madagascar one's better. Came out...

Transformers came out after Madagascar. Like, two years after. Oh, damn. Yeah. Transformers be winning. I mean, Madagascans be winning. No, we... Jim.

We've got to do it. I'm going to say that I'm going I'm not going to be on the class for ages now what are we got to do? We got to do what? Tell us I don't know what it is I should be involved in this if you want if you want to well yes and as good as they say on Madagascar two and three

oh yeah oh yeah well as bad as they say I'm not going to do something right now in the last few minutes so I wanted to just jump down here no we're not quite done here no we've still got another three hours left of this It's fine. It's another question or two. We go hard. Ma-ma. Ma-ma.

Um, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ksudo-kissue blah-blah-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l. Says, what are your thoughts on having a jar, jar? A jar that stores all dead memes for a reference later. It's actually a pretty good idea. That's a pretty good idea.

As in jar memes. As in, there's like a jar. You write down the memes. Like, so you write, on it and then you put it in the general emotional we should probably do that and then um i disagree with this i'm no we should have a jar downstairs that would be perfect yeah we should just tweet we need i need a list of every jar meme someone's probably yeah we could start it from now no i'd want to get all our past ones and they need to all be in there so like we'll just have them

all forever and if we can we've got a date sort of the meme or something yeah trouble is we don't realize it's a meme until it's gone no we know mama's a meme true And emotional? Yeah, Mama and emotional with both memes. I love Mama. Let's do one more. There's only one minute. Why are you laughing?

Jet, Jew Brew 69 says, What's your fave thing you boys like to do out of the following? Chill and play games. Go have a pint, go clubbing, or bully James. I thought that was going to be easy until the last one. Two of them are combined. because whenever we sit and play games

it involves bullying me yeah not true you often bully me I bully everyone it's a free-fool that's all it is whenever we play games it's like a four-player free-frawls smash unless we're actually playing like properly yeah if we're concentrating on siege

it's like to the left one we're triple tactics out of the fucking this room's clear moving I'm edjabbing I'm gonna sneak this one at this one which will failed chalky muffin 969 says

which of you do think would be the best father father of a child in terms of what I reckon I would make an epic father because there were a lot of mistakes made in my childhood where I was raised and I I see them all and I wouldn't make the same ones okay it's because I've been playing god of war as well so it's like god of war oh I love it I don't know I love it it's hard to know until you're in the situation I'm not ready I don't think any of us are ready

like now I don't think any of us already I think I'd make a good father I've got enough love in me want a little bit more Is that nice thing to end on Thank you for watching this episode of the Jogast

We'll catch you next time Bha Buh, bha-boh. Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh.