JAR Media Posdact - Jim's Phantom Menace - JARCAST Episode 199A

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

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Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Alex, and welcome to the JARCast. Hooray! I'm joined by my bro Jim. Yeah, what's up, Cuzz? And my other bro, James. Hey! And I can just tell we have a good episode lined up

because we've got some particularly interesting stories to tell, I believe. We do. We are fully prepared. Maybe. May haps. Maybe not. Yeah? But possibly. The main thing that I want to talk about this episode is something has happened in Jim's life

that is really relevant to the cast that I feel like a lot of people would be interested in. um well i'll tell the story right right after we shout out the patrons over at uh patreon oh thanks for reminding me it's been a it's been a couple episodes since i've hosted yeah shout out to the patrons shout out to everyone who rates us five star on iTunes and all of that it's greatly appreciated and helps us out big time and a big shout out to lewis local lad you know who you is So, James, do you believe in ghosts?

Ah! What does that mean? Genuinely, James, do you believe in ghosts? I want to know. I don't know. Okay, I don't know. Have you ever seen a ghost? I don't know, Alex. Okay, I don't know. Well, I've never had a ghost experience, and we've honestly been asked multiple times by jarlings. about, you know, ghost's spooky experiences and that sort of thing.

And I've never had one, and I've almost wished that I have had some kind of spooky experience, so at least I could talk about it on the cast and let people know. However, we now have a member of the cast who claims to have experienced some kind of spooky apparition. Potentially. Do I want to hear this? Yes. Is it going to give me no mess? Okay, that's all I care about.

It may give some nightmares. I'm going to be honest. I think I was the one that was involved, and it didn't give me nightmares. No, but we're different people, okay? I get scared really easily, you know. I can't do whole movies, I can't do horror stuff. So this is quite, you know, frightening to me. I'm going to be honest.

I don't want to hear it. I'm so scared. If you're really frightened, James, you cover your ears while we talk about it. Okay, okay, I'll cover my ears. Yeah, cover your ears whenever you're starting. to feel he's already done it he's already frightened uh hang on which should I give my context first as to how I what's the best way to tell this no no I I'll start from my perspective you know I can actually just fully hear you you know and then in the

story when it gets to when you were involved that's when you can you know you know I can just even my ears is covered I can still hear you fully you know I can't do this. This is scary, okay? Jim, just take us away. Like, and this is a true story as far as I'm aware, as long as Jim is telling the truth. What are you saying? Huh? Well, you know, people, when people tell scary

stories, um, people tend to doubt. Look, I'll start from the beginning. Stop palming, James. It's an audio show. So for my work, I live on site at this supposedly haunted location. Yeah. And it, it's been haunted since before the night I experienced this.

Yeah. Um, anyway, I live in a separate building to where I work. And I, I, I had some, some. worries with rodents yeah I ain't going to lie um but anyway I sorted that shit out it's nothing to do with ghosts but I needed some cellar tape to make a fix in in the flat um what time a day was this roughly it was about 20 past 1 in the morning which you can vouch for yeah so I go, I go into my, my place of work and, uh, in search of cellar tape, business as usual, lights are off, everything's locked up, you know how it be, mm-hmm.

So, I, I find this whatever I need, which ended up being blue tech, but I needed to pee. So I wander off into the loo, do my business. And I'm just about to leave and go to bed and everything's going to be fine. Mm-hmm. Right. But then I hear this, this fucking, I don't even know what I heard, honestly. It was like a moan. A moan.

A moan. But a pained moan, you know? This is in every, like, entrance and exit. Entrance and exit was locked, right? Yeah. The whole building. completely locked up the only person that could get in to the building was me yeah James stop humming stop humming it's an audio show I can still hear you you're gonna

just have to listen and when I heard this um I was still in the bathroom and I had to like get myself pumped up get ready to burst through the door like fight or flight but my only option is fight because there's nowhere to flight yeah of course you know what I'm saying because then you locked yourself in didn't you well I was locked in but I was in I went into the gentleman's loo

and there's only one entrance to the loo yeah one door so I had to go out to where I heard that noise and I swear to fucking God like it was right outside where I was yeah so I burst through

and you were completely sober yeah yeah The only substance I had ingested was caffeine. Yeah. And as far as I'm aware, caffeine doesn't make people hallucinate. So is there any chance you can do an impression of what you heard? The best of your abilities, I can give it a try if you want. I'll let you give it a try because...

Describe in as much detail as you can what you heard. So it was a woman, definitely. That's my forte, so I'll be good at doing that Um And it It wasn't a But it wasn't high pitched Okay, I'm extra good at doing that

It was a moan Extra good at doing that But it wasn't a very It didn't sound like a happy moan So it was a A pained A pained moon Let's even say groan yet

Howl awoo no howl do you want me to try my best yeah a grown yet howl and roughly how long did it last was it a short noise was it long we talking a what or a what which is closer out of those two just out of those two the second one the longer one really yeah so then let's iterate on that of course it was wasn't that pitch, it wasn't that noise. And you said it was like a howl. Yeah. Well, I need you to do like a vague impression. So, so then I can iterate properly.

The thing is, the more I think about it, the more the memory is... You know, the first thing that the human brain forgets is sounds. Right. Yeah. So, like, when you're forgetting someone, the first thing you forget is the sound of their voice. Hmm. So the fact that it was just a sound thing makes it harder to recall specific... Specificities.

Yeah. Specificities. Specificities. Specificities. Yeah, you got it. Awesome. Do an impression of the howlman. Oh, Jesus.

The ghostly ghouly whale. Uh... It was like, oh, okay, that's creepy. Yeah. Like that? How loud was it? I mean, it must have been, it must have been pretty loud. No, that wouldn't be very scary, would it?

Actually, no, that'd be pretty scary. Yeah, that would... In the dead of night, you just hear the old... yeah man it was weird that's freaky dude but obviously after I I'd pump myself up

and burst out of the loo nothing yeah absolutely nothing at all nothing at all yeah since you turned all the lights on noise stopped

silence back to nothing mm-hmm bruh and that Pope then after that happened um

when did you call me then I sort of paced around the room like so after you'd evaluated the surroundings then you called me um yeah

so now I can jump in or from my perspective um I was about to go to bed me a seconds away from hopping into bed and going to sleep and then I see a FaceTime notification on my phone

and at first I ignored it because brother you are no it was late at night I thought it could be like an accidental thing it could just be a meme I don't know so I just let it I let the call finish

but then the same second call began. Like, as soon as it ended, you started a new call. So, I'm like, okay, that must mean something. There's something to this. So I pick up and I answer. And that's when you're like, oh, bro, I don't see a ghost. No, the thing is, when I called you and you did answer, because, I mean, like I said, it was 20 past, half past one in the morning at this point um so i thought it would be reasonable for you to not pick up because most people are asleep at that time luckily i'm not most people when when you answered i tried to make it sound like as if i didn't think it was that big of a deal no i could tell by the the way your voice sounded

that there was adrenaline pumping through your veins yeah Because you can't think straight when you're in that kind of... No, because I was in the goddamn gentleman's quarters. Yeah. In my, like, pajamas. Mm-hmm. Ready to have a brawl with a ghost. And to be clear, you didn't actually see anything.

It was just a noise. No, I didn't see anything, but that sound, I heard it. You heard it. I heard it where I heard it. That's all I'm... And... I don't know if you want to mention the law, the potential law, of the, of the ghost, because it is a haunted location, supposedly. One of the ghosts that haunts the place is supposedly a Victorian, a woman from the Victorian times that died in a horse carriage accident.

Which is creepy. Which is creepy, but the, the thing with that is that a horse carriage accident isn't like a car crash. You know, it's like, it wouldn't be a fast thing and you would probably murder. painfully yeah no yeah it would be a horrendous death yeah slow painful crushing of the bones crushing of the muscle you know every little piece crushing of the eyes even maybe crushing of the brain out of the ears you know all sorts but yeah I you you described what happened and then of course from my position of um security

I'm able to try and objectively assess and ask as many questions as I can and try and poke holes and rationally explain. And everything I came up with you, you eventually said something along the lines of, I have no way from my understanding of anything how I can explain what I just experienced. And you're not someone who's ever been like a believer Well no, I'd always said Since like working here I don't believe it in any of that nonsense anyway Yeah

Yeah, you're like Han Solo in the original movies where it's like Yeah Do do Jedi do bo boopo Jedi Poodoo Jedi Poodoo Money Wonga Wonga Sorry side note

That's like a line in the prequals on the 101 got anyway yeah back to ghosts let me boil it down into this then do you believe what you heard

was something supernatural or do you think you were just frightened and on edge to the point where some sudden sharp noise shocked you and got your adrenaline pumping

and I think whatever it was my reaction was totally justified yeah either way it was a scary noise to suddenly here. Yeah. It's an old building whether or not.

I mean, like, it... It would be arrogant to say, like, I know that it's not a spooky gul of the night. So, percentage-wise, what likelihood do you think? Like, how convinced are you? 15%. Okay, so not the greatest. odds. No, because if this is

a one-time thing and I never experienced anything again. Because like if it was like a recurring thing like saying three months time happened again. Like that would be weird. Like the same noise, same place, same time type of thing. That would be

I might have to start like being there around that time to see if I can hear it again. Yeah. It might be worth doing just for peace of mind to that 15% go down and and down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I want to treat it as realistically as possible

because I feel like if ghostly stuff were true, we'd have way more accurate records and understanding of it. But I mean, then again, we're animals. Like, we don't have an understanding. It's possible we don't have an understanding of a lot of things. you know especially if it is something as abstract as like the way the only way I can rationally explain something like ghosts and ghouls is like

somehow like someone's being or memories or grief or something is like manifested into some kind of like energy that remains like that's the only like yeah like like so abstract like like thinking of time as a dimension and a location that is so old having ties to that dimension of time

Right, right And if something serious really happened there Used to say the dimension of time Couldn't affect our three dimensions How long did it take you to recover From said incident? As soon as I left the building I was fine Really?

Yeah because to be fair and it was one of the things I said to try and make it seem less scary if a ghost is going to do anything and their one thing is just to make a noise that's pretty good like as far as ghosts go

yeah but because of horror movies and stuff like a sound or a brief sighting is normally the like the beginning yeah but that's not how it really works in the real world no because no one has if ghosts were killing people in reality then we'd like know oh there's a dead person and there's literally no traces of any human anywhere or animal or anything i'm sure we'll get comments of people being like well actually in the case of the vortui yeah the vortui yeah the vortui that is a good case though to be fair The famous Vultuai case. Yeah. It did sound very frightening there.

Yeah, so hopefully someday we'll do like a ghost investigation episode of Jha. In a spooky place. Well, James, he's... He can't hack that kind of thing. I can't, okay? Do you know why? My mind's too fucking good for my body. My mind is like that of the most evolved human that takes no shit.

But my body can't take it. What do you think your reaction would be if you were faced with something like that? Did you actually hear like any of it? Like hearing a spooky noise that you can't explain. Scream. Kill myself. Would you scream though? Because if you're in a situation where you're not expecting something spooky

and then you suddenly hear it, I would say the usual human response is to freeze. taking the information and try and figure out what just happened well that's exactly what happened to me that's how no like you have these expectations of how you would react to a situation like this but when you're the one that's in it you do turn into that animal that like fight or fly that fight or fly yeah and and when it's a noise I don't know why the instinct would be fight you know because like you don't even know what it is but if someone if someone like randomly just charged it

you i can see like a fight mechanism coming in but no but when you're in a you're you're in my scenario i was in a room where i had to go towards where the noise came from and my brain knew that no human should be there and i heard a human yeah so the the the you had to process the information first the information and then there was fight or flight and the only option was fight which is why I had to burst through that door with some some force yeah no it's a scary thing one time I remember being at home alone got from school a bit early sat in the the chair in the middle of my kitchen so by by by my left side there's like a door and there's like a hallway and then there's stairs mm-hmm and I don't

got spirally shares so it's quite short and it spiraled up because it's a townhouse and I remember I was sitting there and I was younger at this time and I I saw I heard like footsteps on the stairs I fucking legged it out of the house locked the door behind me and sat in the garden

really until my parents going but even though that's really rational because it's like in a house and the heating's on the wood in the house is going to expand causing creaking which makes it makes sense You see, if it was just footsteps that I heard, it would have been fine. Even if it sounded kind of like footsteps in where people shouldn't be, like, fine.

But it was a voice, you know? You can't. And you said it sounded really close. Yeah. You can't, um, like, when you hear a human make a noise, you know that is human. yeah like it's just something natural yeah and what I heard was human

no doubt well yeah I'm curious what the jarlings think of this one tell us in the comments if you have your own ghost stories if you think it's Jedi pooh-do then so be it you know what the last time actually the fucking day I was there

because I've been there I've seen Jim on Christmas there when I read the book that features this pub and I remember being I got home I went to bed super late because I was doing something else

and I remember being in bed like one in the morning and I was trying to sleep and it's like I fell asleep but it's like in my dream I heard someone running across the landing upstairs where the hotel rooms are and I fucking woke up in a panic

like I heard it in my life and I was like fuck then I fell asleep again and it was fine so you're quite easily easily frightened. Yes, that's why I don't want to hear it. Now I'm going to go to bed, think about it, and then I'm going to wake up to my own.

I want to just fucking... No, this is what will happen. If that happens to me, I'm going to fucking kill myself, okay? No, you... Alex, I can't. No, because I, like, watching Alien, I've...

I've thought, like, if I was in that situation, I would be so scared that I would want... I'd want to die and kill myself. But when you're actually in a scary situation... You think... different way you have the gut instinct of survive I just need to get out I need to just

like live yeah then I can kill myself yeah yeah man see no no no the fight or fight instinct is really ingrained into us even with small things you feel that you need to do that like

going towards a gate when you know it's going to close you can either stop and be smart or you can fight or fly and just fucking go for it send it and do it is advice for everything I don't think that's fight or flight. No, that genuinely is because it's like in your head, it's like I can make this

gap, I can out-won this train. Do I or don't I? That is fight or flight. That is literally it. It's to stop or you fight and you go for it. You can beat it. No, because with fight or flight, one... It is quite in a literal sense is fight. There isn't the option to stop.

There's flight. Flight is stops. Flight is not done. No, flight is get out. And the point is if you can't get out, then you fight. If you don't think you can win the fight then you get out. That's

the point of fight or flight. It manifests in different ways, okay? Yeah, dog. Right, right. It's like, what'd you do? What'd you do if you're in your room and you see him? What, you hear something? What are you going to do then? Huh? We're going to do then? Fight or flight?

I'm going to run into my parents of screaming and crying, okay? That's what I'm going to do. You know? Fucking, that's it. you're being will at least it's honest yeah yeah and you know no if someone was to fucking fuck me or fight me

I don't care if a ghost walks into them boys I'm crying what we said on the call you're like well at least it might be the blowjob ghost from ghost bugs best case scenario and I think

what did I say no best case would be if it was literally slimer Which isn't true The blowjob ghost would be better I love the blowjobber But do you guys mind Speaking of a Poodoo a little minute

Poo do All three of us watched The Phantom Menace the other day Yeah what the fuck is to deal with that I've been I've I go through like obsessive periods Why is there some scissors there Why you throw scissors into the air

I go through like obsessive periods where I just want to watch like the same movie over and over again like I did it with the Madagascar trilogy I did it with the Kung Fu Panda trilogy and at the moment I'm on the prequel trilogy for some reason

because I get so much glee from just the fact that it exists just thinking of that clip of like George Lucas and all the production like watching the first cut of that movie and like just the look on their faces

But yeah, we watched it together And James loved it Nostalgia You're watching it again before? No, the pod racing game Nostalgia Good game Good game, great game

To be fair though I do like the pod race scene a lot Yeah, it's good The announcer, lame Cut that shit out Yeah, announcer awful That two-headed announcer Anno poeo is having problems

with his engine couplings and all the added shit the added shots are like embarrassing you remember those James I mean yeah they're fucking awful A lot of the movie just looks shite

A lot of it looks pretty good No the movie is shit The movie is a no doubt awful awful movie I think it is pretty It's enjoyable in a very weird way I don't get it Watch if you want to have a laugh

And like have a few beers And just like make fun of it With some friends turn on subtitles and just pay attention to the dialogue especially Jarja's dialogue because I remember watching it as a child and just not really paying attention to what Jarja was actually saying

but when you actually read the dialogue it's really strange like it's so there's just no logic to a lot of it it's just nonsense half the time there's no logic to anything anyone says in that movie though it's so just fucking bizarre but genuinely though

if you remove that Podre scene from the context of why they're doing it and everything because it's so dumb it's an awesome scene it's a great sequence I think it's great it's like a really Star Warsy scene to me

like I would happily have that sequence be like the climax of a movie if it was like restructured in a certain way because like the way the whole action set pieces like paste out is so much fun to me yeah it would have to be the like the story couldn't be as high stakes as it is no but no but it could have been so

no it's that thing there where it could have been like so neat if you had like a slightly older anakin and he like actually uses the force or something while he's in his podracer and stuff like that would have been neat as fuck it's like a movie of how he finds out he's got the force by being like an illegal fucking pod racer yeah there's a cool story in there loads of cool ideas in that movie but it just doesn't come together there's one part of that scene that I think is really stupid when like one of the wires breaks and he's like spinning yeah I'm not sure if that's an added scene or not because I'm not I can't remember that in the original but that's a good point a lot of dumb shit added a lot of dumb shit in that movie

but I mean yeah the Star Wars talk like I'm sick of it at this point but whatever me too um so yeah let us know what you think of the ghost story and the... Don't let me know, please. Just don't let me know. And the phantom menace. And we'll be back after

these messages. The phantom menace. Yeah. Jim's Phantom menace. Oh yeah. Yeah, we're back after these messages with some questions from the... And hopefully we'll be the right way round.

Excuse me? What are you? What are you? Haven't you heard? Jarl Media's now doing T-shirts. shirts, you dig? If you don't have a look at the T-Spring website, we're going to have a problem. So head over there now, I think the link's in the description. No, I know it's in the description. Go now. Welcome to the second half of the JARCast, where we answer fan questions, but before we do that, um, James, um, something has happened in James's life, um, that is, is worth mentioning and

talking about. Yeah, he's finally come out. No It is now 2020 And it is It is time For change It's time to

Push myself out there A bit more So I can improve Become more confident And You know Feel better About myself

It's almost like a resolution It is You know The beard was like It was like step one It was getting on the ladder Which we Alex and I

Can take We're responsible for it. They started the chattoning. So, I don't think I've ever spoken about this. I think you might have briefly. Look, I have never been on a night out.

Like, never. I've never gone to the pub and got shit-faced. Specifically, like, alcohol, you haven't... I've never gone all in. I've never done shots, anything. I will have a cider. Because my alcohol tolerance is so low, it's like, I will feel a bit buzzed, yes.

A bit buzzed. after that and on Friday I was kind of dragged out by my work colleagues to a pub in our town and their their plan was that I needed to get a bit blasted yeah and has having you know we've gone to the pub for and I've had like one strong boat art foods and I've just I can't walk straight and I'm just like chips are going on the floor and all of that so I was really not looking at it forward to this. I was at the time and they said, like, I'm going. Yeah, I was sitting in just the shittest clothes, in plain cod, not one thing to go just like, just don't want to.

And then they're like, oh, we'll be there then. So I was just like, I've kind of got to do this. So I met them in our town and we went to the shittest pub in town, like a horrible pub, it's just utter dog shit. And then that's when it all started.

had a cordal leg felt terrible I drank it so fast my stomach had you eaten beforehand no okay

I had not eaten at all so I was like feeling bad then I was just like I need to go outside I don't need some air I feel terrible then I went inside

and I was just like okay buy me some crisps ate the crisps and that was it that's when it went off the world just a little bit yep

so it was just like okay shots Yeager bombs first of all then it was like 11 rounds of fucking sours and I was it's just like oh my god so how would you describe how um drunk you were i was i did not vomit i wasn't like completely black out was the the room spinning yeah i couldn't walk i nearly fell over a few

times yeah i was just really confident with everything which is a something that happens of alcohol you just don't care and you just go in your inhibitions and filter sort of gets lifted away yeah Doesn't it? So that's when it all kind of just was just like, okay, I get this now. I understand why people do this. Yeah. And it just didn't stop. You know, shots on table, picking up at my mouth, just throwing them in.

Boom, another one, another one, another one, another one, another one, another one. And it was turning into a real good night. And I started to understand. Yeah. I started to get it. For the record, the younger jarling's listening. This isn't like a... This isn't an endorsement.

It's not endorsing, like, to go out and get sluze. We're just talking about James, who was an adult, who can legally purchase alcohol. But during this was all happening, in this pub, they were playing, like, rock music. Right. And while I was downing these shots, crawling in my skin by Lincoln Parks. It was a sign. Unbelievably loud. And it was just surreal.

How just like, oh, my God. I was just sitting there just fucking speechless at what I was experiencing. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. So do you want to do it again? Fido.

Yes. Yes. I enjoy drinking now. I was very late to that one too. Before it was just me and Ruben. Yeah. There was just genuinely no part of me

was even remotely interested like there was no appeal to Yeah me I didn't I just didn't get the appeal of it Um You do sort of need that first You need that little bit They need the catalyst

That kicks it all of And I feel like Everything goes just right Because you also went and got A good off Sammy's We did Because my colleagues I work like 45 minutes

Way from my town And the people Who turned me out And I'm I'm really good terms of them. I'm like friends with them. And it was my mate as well. So this person they've never met

and we all just went. Yeah. And it was just like that catalyst and that they're like pressure kind of like was just wobbing off on me and that's how it kind of kickstarted it. Yeah. Sometimes you do need like another person

to push your comfort zone a little bit. Even if it is to just experience once, you know, like even if you did have that night and you really didn't enjoy it. At least you could say, yeah, I tried it. It's not really for me type thing. And it's like I've never gone clubbing either.

I've never done like those type of like nights out as such. Yeah. And apparently that's something I'm also going to experience like next month. Yeah, do it happen. It's just like, it's, I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I am myself more than ever. So it's like I should do this stuff to be better. And that's what I want to do this year. I want to just become a much better person through experience.

you know holidays abroad doing those kind of stuff and becoming more confident myself you know dressing like having my own thing going on so I guess this is like the final arc of of me yeah you know we started jar and we'll just these fucking kids and it's just like here we are now mm-hmm changed and we've got to thank the beard it's the beard this this um mythical power extension jam and Alex by extension we're your angels and devils which who's the angel and who's the devil angel devil 100%

why am I the devil explain explain your reasoning do explain I'm very willing to hear no now you got me thinking about it he's a lot more of the devil than you why explain your reasoning

yeah yeah he's saying explain your reasoning he's the angel Because Alex, like, I feel that Alex should ease me in a little bit more than you. I'm not about that. I don't like being the one to, you know, I would never have done that. Done what? No, you would have. Taking James to get pissed or tried to like, come on, James, get pissed.

Come on, let's do it. Yeah. I'm not like that. It's a tricky thing. Neither of you are, because we have that friendship where we don't do that. We're not really forced one that way. It's tricky because, like, it can be good for people, but you don't want to feel like the only reason they're doing it

is because you're pressuring them. Peer pressure, yeah. Yeah. It's that perfect balance of being too pushy and not being pushy enough. Yeah. Yeah. I like letting people do things on their own terms and in their own time. Yeah.

But you also, you introduce me to things. You're not being pressuring. You're introducing me things and then giving that control to me. yeah yeah and that's like a good way to do I'll be honest with this kind of thing but it's good

yeah that's cool new years and new Jai it's bray it's a new Pope so let's do some questions from the JAR community then

to round off the show if you want to leave your own questions head over to the JAR media Reddit R slash jar media where there is a suggestions thread where you can ask us anything you like and we may answer it

anything literally anything giraffe lover Unless it's ghost stories because I'm not answering them Giraff lover 6969 is going to start us off this time Could you explain the use of the word

Cheeky as a Mexican jarling Not related to Jim It's always puzzled me The way it's used as an adjective for food EG cheeky apple Cheeky Nandos Who the fuck's a cheeky apple? I've never heard that.

No, the only one is cheeky Nandoes, right? The only one is cheeky Nandoz, I can think of it. Unless it's like a cheeky Mars bar. I'm not a cheeky little Mars bar. You're the one as being cheeky for having that food item. But that's the same way it's Nandoes. Yeah, exactly, but I'm saying it does apply to more than Nando's. What is cheeky about Nandoes?

I don't know, because it's not that unhealthy. Like, a cheeky McDonald's makes more sense. Or like a cheeky caspers. It's not cheeky caspies, yeah. Cheeky Domino's cookies, I don't know. But how can Nandoes be cheeky when it's just chicken and mice, which is just actually really good for you? I can't say it's an adjective I particularly use that often in terms of food.

I've never used it. I call the dogs, I always say, argue, he's a cheeky little monkey. That's my main go-to is calling small things cheeky. get out of you cheeky little monkey basically stop being so cheeky that's what I mean that's what the ghost is now for Jim don't be so cheeky

you hear it again and you'll say stop being so cheeky stop moaning so cheekily my advice would just be to not think about cheeky the cheekiness just yeah let it just I think cheeky is a bad word what's wrong with it

it's fucking it's just fucking shit all right or cheeky Jim stop being so cheeky shut the fuck up no it's a bullshit James agree with me Jim's the cheekiest in jug 100% no you are you're definitely the cheekiest you're the cheekiest you little prick see that no explain yourself that cheek that cheek you just tried to call

me the cheek when he was getting fucking beer earlier and that cheeky little jog Cheeky. Yeah, you're always fucking jogging cheekily and like running around being a cheeky little fucking monkey. I learned from Argy. Yeah. Who's the dog now? After me, it's Jim.

Yeah. Why? I'm never cheeky. How am I cheeky? You're the boath. You're the Cetious. That's what you are. Hang on.

I'm kind of changing my mind. I think James might be the cheekiest. Because he's always just like slapping. me and fucking getting a drumstick and just whacking me with it I don't think that's cheap that's not cheek you that's just horrible it's just manic salt

like remember the first YouTube video we ever made chocolate rain I smacked Jim have we ever talked about this before James used always do this thing where he take off his cap and smack people with it yeah and he'd always smack me on the head with it and in the middle of a cap

there's that really hard metal is like a touch that sort of keeps it all together and I just remember the amount of times that would smack me over the head that's why I got no hair James it's cheeked it

just the cheeky repeated physical abuse from James I'm not the cheekiest though I don't do cheeky things he does cheeky things I concede actually because like with my whole like trolling thing that I've always enjoyed I would say it's cheeky troll

It is cheeky. It is cheeky. Not like, ironically, like hateful trolling type thing. I agree. I agree. No, that's a solid. Alex is the chee-y-boy. Red Pringle 22 asks, well, it's not even a question.

You should open the scorpion jar to celebrate the new decade. No. That's not going to happen. First off, there's no way in hell that's going to happen because we were analysing it earlier before recording. Just having a little gander. And oh my god. Oh. For those who don't know, they're...

On the jar set, there is a jar, suitably, full of dog hair, a scorpion. Half-eaten, half-eaten scorpion. The juice, the salty juice that was in the scorpion. It was so salty. And a cucumber as well. Cucumber Nick. Yeah, cucumber Nick is in there. His ashes.

And obviously, when you put a cucumber that is quite water-based into a jar, it kind of just fucking leaks out and becomes this kind of like dehydrated. It's more like a paste. Paste. It's nasty. It's turned brown as well. Cucumber Nick is now just a brown paste. Yeah.

And there's a few pins in there. It's right. Yeah, no, that was... Because that's Cucumber Nick's eyes. Yeah. Dibby-Dibby has a good question. It's a question for me, specifically. It's been over two years since you started appearing on camera.

Wow, two years. Could you tell us what those first few appearances were like and how different it was to being behind camera? It's a good question. It is a good question. At first, it definitely was a lot harder. It was super strange to me. Yeah, I mean, it didn't feel like it was us just talking.

It felt like putting on a show. Yeah. Because there was a camera there. But last episode, um, with all four of us I was actually behind the camera because we didn't have like a spare mic arm and whatnot so it was almost like a throwback to the way it used to be

and that felt really weird to me because it felt like I wasn't really part of the conversation in the same way. Really? Yeah because I'm like way over there by the computer and everything like with all the gear around me and stuff. Well I mean to be fair when we used to do that the room was a lot smaller. It was a much smaller room

It was tiny. Actually do it with loads of episodes here though where I wasn't on camera I can't remember no no no no no I don't even know what really prompted the change really not nothing you're just like you just didn't care anymore I was getting fed up of like just having to think about it you know no no it was the catalyst was when people were starting to like go through newspaper lose letters from your fucking schools to find oh yeah and you were just like fuck this that would make sense that was yeah yeah yeah strange because it takes all the power

away when you're just like, well, you can find it if you really want to. Most people don't know what it look like, because I don't plan really on ever showing my face and actually, what's the point? You know, it's not what it's about, but... If someone's, like, really curious and it bugs them that much, they can just, like, find it if they want. It's not hard, and... Go to the channel.

It's a separate thing, so... The first few appearances, though, was pretty weird it definitely takes some getting used to and like you guys have been on camera way longer than I had at that point so but I mean when when you went from being off camera to on camera you'd already been like making videos and shit yeah a long time whereas when we went we went from basically nothing to doing this podcast in front of a camera

yeah we were boots on the ground on day one straight straight into it yeah I don't I don't regret the change I'm pleased oh yeah same that's much better yes yeah absolutely makes it feel more complete and all the like pictures and clips and things are way more inclusive because everyone's yeah it's way easier I think for the audience want to like understand yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly good question the Oreo crumbles has this to say

if you could go back in time what idea would you steal and why you know what idea I'm stealing lead us off then James how it should have ended how it should have ended to be fair not the worst idea except you

if you were stealing how it should have ended's channel you would have to be able to make it it somehow and I'd make it you want to choose something a lot easier you want to choose something yeah like the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel Jamie Jamie Belman invented the wheel oh I see like literally the wheel literally the wheel like you don't have to think very hard to like invent the wheel because it's right so you're thinking like it's not it's not it's not about thinking about creating it's actually creating a back then making a fucking

circle back then was just like, what the fuck? No, but I get to just steal the wheel and then everyone knows it was Jamie Belkman and I'm basically God. Well, no, because that wouldn't have made you. This is basically the story of that Danny Boyle movie yesterday.

About the Beatles. Yeah, true. Well, like the Beatles stop existing in that universe and then he remembers all the songs and takes credit for it. There is, God, There's something I've always thought that.

Like, I wish I could just steal that. Type thing. But I can't remember what it fucking is now. Because, yeah, you do want it to be something simple, you know? Yeah. Like, a simple idea. Like, all you'd need to pick is, like, one really simple invention. A light bulb?

No, but you don't know how to make a light bulb from scratch, though, do you? That's not the question as if you know how to make it. if you could... No, but it kind of is, though. Like, you can't take credit for it, and then people are like... So how do I make one? Yeah, you're like, I don't know.

Just reverse-engineer this. Yeah. There you go. Good question, but tricky. You could... What you could do, if you wanted to be a real asshole, is, like, take all of the best, like, written characters from, like, pop culture and just steal them.

write something, write a book, write something down. I mean, I was thinking some sort of media, but, like, I'm not capable of writing a book or a movie or music. No, but think about it. If it didn't exist, you just recalling the plot of something that doesn't exist would be inherently interesting, especially if it's like a great thing. Like, say, like, Memento by Christopher Nolan or something, you just steal, you just steal. steal the idea for that movie and just take credit for it but that would be a waste because not everyone knows Memento

by Chris that's just an example yeah no it would have to be like 2001 a space Odyssey or the shining yeah yeah those are good good ones Stanley Kubrick did pop into my head yeah or you can

steal the idea of drifting and just create drifting you could be like the first well-known drifter or something yeah I'll be The Drift King. Boom. Yeah, but I invented the wheel, so. Well, yeah, but I improved the wheel.

Yeah, we could go back and invent the podcast. Oh, yeah. There you fucking... Be the first podcast. Yeah. Then it would be like, we could just say we were the first podcast, the longest running podcast.

Yeah. Brer. Been doing it since... God, when would people have started podcasting? Surely a podcast is kind of just, like a modern radio show not like show in a sense but there's

something about the the way that it's um we're just not interrupted by shit music basically no like the the garage like everyone in the garage like making it

you know when you think radio you think like a product like a bunch of like qualified people getting together whereas what's nice about a lot of podcasts is that it's people that start from nothing and over time

just from doing episode after episode like just have this craft private radio yeah yeah so yeah that's a good that's my answer you win Jamie Beltman

invented the wheel I like that we've got a good question here actually from a svenx forms underscore that asks it's sort of a little game for us to play have the other cast members guess the top five grossing media franchises so what are the five highest grossing most valuable most money made media franchises of all time I've got the list here in how much they're going to say in the top two is probably going to be Marvel or

Marvel's not on this Star Wars is number 5 at 65 billion Titanic No the same movie this is franchises So that includes merchandising Oh shit Fortnite No

Fortnite hasn't been around long enough Is it movies, just movies It's just franchises I'll give you a clue Star Wars is the only one that's only a movie franchise or the other ones span

like they're just recognisable properties Like a court of duty No GTA No World of Warcraft You're on the right lines with games

But think more baby More well known Jim you mention It quite a lot like that you love certain designs from it it

no you've got one of five Star Wars Toy Story? No no it's Toy Story ain't big than Star Wars What the fuck is bigger than Star Wars No what the fuck does Jim like the designs from Yeah

You're really shit at this What you're the one who's shit at it I'm the one. I didn't need to need to give you any clue okay so this is everything do you think you could have gotten more than us yes bullshit no 100% because I listen to so many podcasts I've heard this topic we discussed before oh the cheating then so what does this include closed does this include clothes brand cars brand everything no franchise media franchises media franchises so music no you're thinking like way too specific

too specific what what was everyone in the playground in Pokemon. Pokemon is number one shit yeah Pokemon is number one 92 billion Pokemon me Mario Mario is not on there

um the others are not video game related okay so what's number two give us a hint um two of them are Disney related yeah but then you know I think most popular Disney things.

What is the most popular Disney thing of all time? Disney. Uh, Lion King? No, think about literally the logo. Oh, fucking Mickey Mouse. Yeah, Mickey Mouse. Number four, 70 billion.

Fuck. And I might just say the other one because I don't think you'll ever get this one. Right. But at number three is Winnie the Pooh. Shit. Not in China. Winnie the Pooh, 75 billion.

Wait, what was number two? That's the one you haven't got yet. so is that is that that's not disney what's the hint for number two number two I would say is typically marketed for like little girls

um brats not brats it's quite Asian and it's kind of depiction really hello kitty boom 80 million 80 billion how the fuck are they the most grossing franchises

so let me let me go through it 5 to to 1 just one last time for those listening Star Wars, 65 billion Mickey Mouse 70 billion Winnie the Pooh 75 billion Hello Kitty

80 billion Pokemon 92 billion That's interesting that the top two In the whole world are Japanese They make cute shit No but I don't get Who kids nowadays don't think to buy Winnie the Pooh stuff

You'd be surprised Yeah Who, no but that's such a I mean we were brought up on Winnie the Pooh Every time we went to our grandmothers, she'd read the original stories. To be honest, I wasn't. I'm the weird one here, and I know I am. Winnie the Pooh, I think, spans multiple generations.

Yeah, definitely. Pokemon's only been around since the 90s. And it's the same for Star Wars. That's multi-generational. And Mickey Mouse. So, Pokemon is just oof. That's just next level. For how young it is.

Do you think it's because of Pikachu? Fuck yes. Do you think it's simply because of Pikachu? Pikachu is, I've said this for so long, Pikachu is the best designed, like, character from anything ever. Like a mascot. Yeah. Incredible.

And also the thing that is easily ruined. What do you mean? Bye bye and Reynolds. Yeah, shit. That always happens when we bring up that subject. Let's end on this one from Stage D.K. Any noteworthy experiences with fireworks. How did James Inde?

himself in parentheses. Okay, I burnt myself a few times. What, on a firework? Or a, what they call a sparkler? Sparkler's a lame, dude. Actually, no, they're pretty... They're fucking mental. Then you're like six and you hold a sparkler.

It's like your whole world is... I remember when I was first handed a sparkler, I was like, this is a responsibility. I've been trusted with this. It's like, like lightsaber, effectively. Yeah, and you go like that. You spell out, you draw a dick in the end. Have we ever talked about Bardona?

I don't think we have. Please talk about Vardana. So, I might have to start, like, this story needs to be told. Okay, go on, shoot. So I'll restart it if, if it goes out. But, um, I don't know why in our, in our family, we have this soft toy. I believe it was a, a secret Santa present given to. to our dad from work.

That makes sense. Because it was like this really like... tacky, tasteless toy, like, stuffed toy of a sheep that was wearing one of Madonna's costumes with the, like, spiky bra and the, you know, that kind of stuff. Do you remember it had this smell? The toy? Yeah. It had a very distinct smell.

It smelled horrible. Smelt vile. And our dad loved it. He loved it for the, the, just, I think he just liked how bad it was. Yeah. And you could like press it and it would like start singing. Yeah. A song.

I can't remember what song it parodied, but it was just an awful thing. Awful, awful product. Like as much as I enjoy capitalism, that's one thing that is, is a inherent negative. get shit like that sold and is a product of the free market unfortunately best-selling grossing franchise yeah but on number six so bringing it back around to fireworks this this toy we we never liked especially as children we had this we had a problem with it and for some reason did it wind up in the outside toilet before or after? No, no.

Was that an after the fireworks? So it was like bonfire night, right? Yeah, November. Yeah, and we had fireworks. And so our dad thought it would be funny to hook Bardoner up to a firework. And then fire her into the sky And fucking explode So we do that

We taper to the firework Put her in the ground And light up And we're like Okay, we better step back Because Like shit's about to get down Just a fundamental misunderstanding of physics

Just a complete Like everyone in the situation You, me and both our parents just like we thought it would be thinking the humor was like so valuable to us that we put ourselves in danger danger

but obviously so we lit the firework ran away and the firework because it's so heavy way down by Bardonna it cannot shoot up into the sky it just stays on the ground

and then it explodes on the ground there was a huge explosion and sparks went everywhere including on the trampoline yeah and it melted holes into our trampoline yeah because we were like oh mommy and daddy can we stand on the trampoline and watch bardana go up and they're like maybe don't go that close and we'd be on it sparks would have gone all over us we would look very very different yeah we'd be burned victims and like as soon as it happened And Dab was like, that was a half-witted thing to do.

No, but you know he... And one of the neighbors was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. And after that point, after things had relaxed and cooled down, we went over to Analyze Bardona, and it was like something out of a horror movie. It was like a... No, no, do you know what it's like? You know, Robocop, when the guy gets toxic waste all over him?

Yeah. And then he's walking like... yeah and then gets mulched by the truck he she is that guy and she she's still within the family is still there yeah i i don't like using that outside toilet back at our parents house and one of the reasons is bar donna is just looking at you just tortured and just mutilated yeah i remember having this like vivid reaction to that outside toilet because of it being there and like it was like you know how like the like goblins or like monsters and fairy tales have their like cave their their place the dragon dwells within

like bar donna dwells within the toilet the like creepy spider infested yeah outdoor toilet Like that's her cave, her realm. So, so I'm going to vote a proposition forward here. This firework night, we send Bardana up in style. We do it properly. We get the biggest fireway we can get. We strap the remains. Go up on the hill just up there.

You know what? I think Bardonna belongs on the jar set. No, no. After the next blast off. No, honestly We've been by the fucking huge ones that are like Fucking five inches wide

Fucking tall A tall of shit Light it, send her up And it'll be the one day where it's windy So it just goes It'll be the death of one of us for sure No doubt about it Bardonner's getting avenge

We actually die It just fucking blows up And kills us Local idiot killed by Bataana Bata That's it That's it

That's Jarkast episode Fucking 1199A Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fucking fuck you Fucking fuck you

Fuck you Fuck you