JAR Media Posdact - Joker's Social Strand Impact - JARCAST Episode 188

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

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When I come out, can you... That's it. Can you call me the Joker? Can you introduce me as James? Can you introduce me as Seth MacFarlane? I used to think my life was a tragedy. But now I realize it's a comedy. Starring Seth MacFarlane.

In my head, that sounds just like him. It does. A one and a two and a one, two, three, four. Okay. Hello, hello. Welcome to the JAR Media podcast. Good afternoon. Good afternoon, morning, evening, on night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the JARMedia podcast.

Will we talk about such things as... Sticking your big toe in your mouth? spaghetti and uh things like that i suppose uh just quick shout out before we get into anything really dark and serious or say any swear words thank you so so much once again from the from the patrons over at patreon and to all of you that purchased any of our two shirts looking swag as Great shirts, love them. A lad. Or lady, depending on your gender, I suppose.

A lady. Lad lady. Depending on if you're the lady. Lad lady. Lad lady. Lady kind of is both lad and lady? It's the femme version, the femoid version. No, it's not.

So, I've got a quick question. Can you stick your toe? in your mouth. Obviously, I'm not a child. I can do simple things and act such as that. Show us. What do you mean show? What about the people listening?

Aw, wah, wah, wah. Whoa, he's doing it, everyone. Oh, wow, wow. No, actually, right now, show me if you can stick your toes on. I got my special salmon's on. Just take your socks off or do it with your sock. Can you stick your toe in your mouth? Of course I can.

Do it. You don't got to prove... You don't have to prove anything. And that foot's probably... stepped on dog faces and it's definitely stepped on dog piss earlier. No, that I didn't step in it. Is the word I just said a

bad word? Are we going to... What, P-I-S-S? Yeah, P-I-S-S-I-Dableness. P-S. I meant it as in private investigator for Sandra... Sanchez? Simpson. Sandra, for Sandra Simpson.

Sandra Simpson. You're the suspect in our murder case, Sandra Simpson? No, he's the private and Investigator for Sandra Simpson. Yeah, Sandra Simpson hasn't been murdered. Unless she framed someone and she's actually the culprit. Right. Sandra, what are you doing?

What's your name? Dude sat right next to me. My name is... James, cool. What's your name? Alexander. And I'm Jamie. And that's what makes up the piss investigators. P-I-S-P-I-S-S-S-P-I-S-S-P. T-I-S-S-S

Yes Just copy me then Don't even elaborate on the lyrics and build What's happened this week Oh my God Some incredible things have happened this week Next level Incredible movies that redefine the box office

Redefine experiences Redefine cinema Have been released into our Into our world And I must say Things are never going to be the same society's never going to recover from what has happened, have way, will they? Quite frankly, the man to my right is correct.

That's me? Yes. I'm correct. This week, say it again, go on, say what you said again. Go on, explain it. The certain social strands have led to one conclusive theory and idea that has been made true in the latest movie released in cinemas as of last Friday as of us recording this,

P.I. Staker's Joker. Joker starring Wacky Feeney. Wacken Phoenix. Before we go into Joker a little bit, where does Wachene Phoenix belong in the Joker ranking?

What's our Joker ranking? Mark Hamill. Okay. Number one. Yeah, Mark Hamill, number one. Number two. Well, now it's sort of open. Right?

I'm going to straight up say it's, um, Jack Noquistin? No. Have you ever seen that movie? No. I just know that... Wow. Okay.

If I had to be serious... Just get your opinions from some YouTuber or something. Just don't even... Pathetic. educate yourself, don't even get a scholarship into the film criterion. I will say

we cannot compare Heath Ledger and Mr. Phoenix. We cannot compare the two. That's a fucking cop out. They're playing the same character. I did it, I did a swear. No, I'm probably right now. Listen. Listen to me, okay? I have an opinion. Oh,

Heath Ledger had the bounce man to bounce off. What? Phoenix did not. What villain is? that? What does that have to do with his performance? I don't understand. Okay, his performance was good. There's more of Joaquin Phoenix compared to... There is. He's Ledger, but does that necessarily mean it's better? No. Well, it's up to interpretation. I'm sure lots of people are going to say that this is the

best joker that's ever been. As in Wacky Phoenix is... Yeah, maybe if you're an idiot. Well, let people have their own opinions. No. If they don't agree with me, then they might as well not exist? I like Heath Ledger. Yeah, my pick would be Heath Ledger after that. Then, of course, Jared Leto. Then

Jet Nicholson. Can we all agree that Jared Letto is at the bottom? Yes. Well, I don't know. What about Jake the Dogs Joker? What did you think of him? One was? Oh, yeah. Not the best.

No, his voice isn't Weasily enough. Actually, you're forgetting someone. The Nostalgia Critics Joker. Oh. That's going to be up there. That's next level Joker. But yeah, whatever.

We're not going to rank the Joker's anymore. I've had enough of that one. So what are your thoughts on this movie? On this... So we're going to talk about Joker for a little minute. We won't spoil anything. Will we, James? We won't say anything.

Spoilery. Of course not. Because people might want to be as miserable as we were in this movie. All right, speak for Jim and me then. Yeah, well, you agreed with me. As if we don't believe and matter. You don't. Bad boy.

Bad boy. Bad boys looks good. We saw a trailer for bad boys. Bad boys looks bad. I think the other two movies are Bella. Go on. Quick, quick opinion on the Joker, Alex. It was fine.

me not it wasn't for me okay like I get it I totally understand why everyone likes it but for me it didn't really provide my see I want to say entertainment value but it's calling it entertainment is it's nasty like by design it's heavy and overbearing and that's the whole point of it and you know it's exhausting James after we got this clown that was obviously paid by Marvel to say that

let's get a real opinion the movie as I said after I watched it I would have enjoyed my evening more if I didn't watch it it's a fine movie as Alex has said but it's just like it makes you

it made me feel miserable and shit that's because it's just deconstructing the different class systems of current day politics and the way we treat mental health and drug addiction if they wanted to do that then they just had to cut the movie after about six minutes because that that does everything that needs to do Jim can do a pretty good impression of Woken Phoenix I've forgotten how now you just do the Shane Dawson voice yeah but I've forgotten how to do that

just say as Wachin Phoenix I want to have sex with you Um No, I'd have to practice I'll do it in the halfway break And then I'll introduce the same And bring it back on the second half with his voice The movie's fine

It looks nice It's not the ninth best film of all time No it's like No it's it's a 10th best Maybe 11th I was thinking more about 12th Out of all films of all time I was thinking about 5,500

Don't be a I think The more time goes on, the more I'm going to dislike this movie, but it's a fine movie. Yeah, well, you know what? It's my turn to talk now. I've had enough of you, you negative Nancy's. I liked this movie. I want to know where you got.

Okay, and so. Thanks for sharing of us, Insel. Okay. That's true. I don't even like you even really want to talk about the movie that much. There's not much to talk about. It's kind of empty. It's hollow. Well, this is what James is saying.

Don't, like, project that onto me. I'm not saying. Yeah, and don't project that on to me either. I'm not. That's wrong. A movie exaggerating. No, you're not. No, this movie was good, and you guys are just haters. I said it's fine. I'm not hating on it. You are hating on it. You said something that doesn't agree with me.

You're hating on it. Not my cup of tea. I like the part where it was like, no, spoilers. Can't say it, sorry. I was going to have a really. funny bit but can't do it sorry the movie is basically abolished capitalism fuck the witch boom I don't know where I got this capitalism no I I your main issue with it as you've said before is the it's a me

problem the politicization it's a very political movie But at the same time, it's like, well, all right. What do you mean? It's kind of like, like the character in the movie doesn't have an agenda. No, it's the opposite. He doesn't have any clear what he's doing and he stands for nothing. Yeah. That's his whole point.

But the world just makes its own agenda, basically through media. Yeah. Right? And there's a weird overlap into reality with this movie. Yeah. Well, it's, that's not all point in the movie. What I'm trying to say is that it transcends film, which is why it is the ninth best film of all time.

Right, right, I understand, I understand. So you're saying it's D-E-E-P? I'm saying it's D-W-P. D-T-T-E-P? D-W-P. Okay. So not the Godfather or anything like that? I haven't seen The Godfather, but this, but I can say full confidence right now that Joker is better than Godfather and the Godfather, too.

It's probably better than, 2001 of Space Odyssey, uh, Citizen Kane. Oh, yeah. Mad match for you wrote? Oh, the fact you even said that just makes me honestly cringe. Like, what's even the point of comparing to a masterpiece like this? Like, this has fucking, it's got everything. It's got comic books. It's got jokes.

It's got jokers. It's got violence. It's got all sorts. It's got a dwarf in it. Yeah, it's got a dwarf in it for a funny moment. No spoilers. Yeah, whatever. It's just a movie about the Joker, but then...

Yeah. No, the weirdest thing was the crowd. Yeah. The people watching the movie once it finished, the shit they were saying. Dude. Really bizarre. One of them said once the movie was over to their mate as they're walking out. Yeah, that was all right, but I really wish they embraced the violence more.

I wanted more, you know, gore. I was like, what? Did we watch the same movie? Yeah, like, what a strange thing to want? Like, you want it to just be sore? Yeah, like... And loads of people were just after the movie, but, like, clearly thought it was some kind of Batman prequel

that, like, Marvel style setting up a new, like, universe. That's the way people are talking about. No. Are you certain? No, yeah, so I'm 100. read today or last night that Joker is the first in like what DC is doing these stand-alone DC movies so I don't think it has anything to do with that Robert Pattinson one that's being made could be wrong but can you blame me like whatever they're doing is so confusing

because I said to you one extremely confusing yeah once we came out of the the movies because the superhero genre is just so out of whack and out of control now I was like think about the last DC movie we saw earlier this year, Shazam. Yeah. It's like the complete tonal opposite in every single way. Yeah, I didn't. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think as an audience member with how many of these there are with the DC logo and everything, it's kind of confusing.

Yeah, it's just weird that DC wanted to do their own cinematic universe, which they have sort of done. It's their own, they've created the problem. Yeah, but then they're also making these standalone movies, and it's really confusing. And birds of prey is coming out For being made or whatever I don't want to talk about Do you see it? I don't care

I got major superhero fatigue going on Let's talk about Marvel then Spider-Man's back in the MCU Uh-huh Alex, I've got superhero fatigue Spider-Man Come on, be consistent Yeah, you've just got

Marvel What are you talking about? You're just a Marvel fan boy Marvel fan boy And I can't handle it Okay, be children, as you always are Wait, I was enjoying Marvel until end game Wrong

And then it ruined it for me Wrong, shut up Let's do a different topic Don't do that into the god Yeah, why he burping into the mic this? Pardon me Sorry guys, that was Jamie Hmm, I have a few topics One is a pressing one actually

A few weeks ago we mocked And we're not going to go on this topic again family guy we mocked family guy for having a Donald Trump like parody episode and we thought it was the worst thing we've ever seen pretty much Peter Griffin fighting President Trump

but then we were looking through the comments and we see no the Simpsons Donald Trump episode is worse right so then we were like oh yeah I heard about that and then we went and watched clips of it and oh my god oh my god if you want any indication any like any more proof of how far the simpsons has fallen just go on youtube and put in like the simpsons donald trump joke song yeah where they have these like different people of color like singing to Donald Trump.

They're like people that are in American politics, and they're all women, and they're all POC. Yeah. It's like, man, we make fun of Seth MacFarlane for his ultra-left, like, just no subtlety swing on all his humor. It's like, okay, we get it. Like, we get which way to swing. Family guy is like as subtle as Joker,

compared to what the Simpsons did I'm not I'm not going to go there with that one yeah James you enjoyed it didn't you like the tiny hands joke and the orange bit it's kind of funny

and his hair is like a little monster I actually can't believe it like I'd never seen that family guy or the Simpsons one or is it Jimmy Fallon that has that like animated show where your voice is Trump One of them has like an animated show that's like a parody of Trump and it's the fucking worst thing of all time.

Yeah. It might not be Jimmy Fallon. I don't know. There's so many American talk show hosts. I'm surprised there's enough people in America to watch all of them. Yeah. But point is, Simpsons. Yeah, like, come on.

Oh, come on, Simpsons. I know, I might be, you know, counterculture, but Simpsons has just been shit since forever. You never cared about the Simpsons. No, I did. I did. I did. I'd get home every day, six o'clock, watch a Simpsons. But it's been shit.

Any one of culture did. It's been shit for far too long. It's not even surprised. Has it got a point, has it reached a point now where there's more bad than good? Yeah, there was never any good to begin with. Wait, so you're saying it was always bad? So you're just BSing then, basically. Yeah.

You're impossible. Yeah. What, you... Are you supposed to be pleased? Huh? No, I am pleased. You know, you little bullsucker You a little fundler

This guy right here is a bullsucker And a scumbag, I dare I say The best Simpsons Things, franchise, whatever Simpsons hit and run Yeah, straight up And the Simpsons game that came out for like Xbox 360 And then future on the shit

No, I like that one No, Simpsons game trash Alex's opinion on the Simpsons game I never played the Simpsons game But I remember seeing it and being like I don't like the Simpsons and things 3D, it's creepy to me. Yeah, it is creepy. I don't want to see Homer's

juicy ass, so it's just going to make me picture eating it, you know, pulling apart those big yellow cheeks and just go to town. You know? No, I'm just... No, no, no, no, no, no. The Simpsons game for X-Stre 360 was good.

Okay, that's that debate over. Yeah, nice one. We're not going to debate if the Simpsons game on Xbox 360 was good. Oh, fuck you. fuck you well seeing as we're on things that we like

like and watch loads uh jim you've watched all of big mouth season three yeah your favorite effing show what are your high level thoughts on big mouth season three um big mouth season one awful big mouth season two

incredibly bad awful so bad big mouth season three awful I think you were going to say just plain bad so not quite awful no I genuinely don't think

Big Mouse season three is as bad as the other two but then 201 are so bad that like it's hard to it's not that much of a compliment I saw that because on Netflix has that new thing where it like ranks what's being watched

And of course it was like big mouth new season Number one most played thing in the UK I was like oh I actually don't understand why people like it Do people like it? I guess they do yeah I suppose those normies James uh James saw a bit of an episode earlier and you really liked it

It's fucking just gross what didn't you like about it It's horrible that to look at It has the worst art style of all time It's worse in a nutshell That's potentially the worst aspect About the whole show It actually really hurts it Yeah

It's horrible to watch Yeah it makes you Every frame makes you want to vomit Every new character that comes in You're just like Why your eyes so bulbous and round And why is your mouth so fucking swollen Like a fish?

Get out of my sight Well no I understand the swollen fish mouth It's called Big Mouth Um I actually I actually wrote some things down. You wrote some things down? Yeah.

Holy. Mainly the things I wrote down was the amount of songs in each episode. And this includes the Valentine's Day special. But that, that Valentine's Day special, when I was watching it, I was thinking, I don't think I'm going to be able to watch the rest of this season. This is so bad. Yeah. And so long.

I thought every episode was going to be like. It's like 40 to an hour, 40 minutes to an hour long. It's like crass beyond any repair. Yeah. It has no subtlety at all. It doesn't realize the parts that are actually funny. Yeah. Because there's like two funny bits per episode.

Which yeah, which makes it come across like when you actually laugh at the show, it almost seems accidental. Like to them, that was just like not even the focus of a scene. Yeah. That wasn't even the funny part to them. The funny part was when the hormone monster came on and was like, yeah, fuck. nuggets oh yeah eat my ass exactly it's like if if you took the like the transcript from a jarcast episode and animated it yeah that's that is big mouth what you're saying is jarcast is just audio big mouth well you and you just fucked us he's

man that really hurt me can I okay no let's play a game okay I'm gonna say the episode and you've got to guess how many songs are in it the episode name or just the number right so it never goes above three Jesus okay but some episodes in one but some episodes are or do have no songs right so okay episode one the Valentine's I'm gonna straight up say two that one had it was two or three I'm gonna say three I'm gonna say James? Two. Ding, ding, ding,

Alex got it right. Because I remember being really long. Because it's an hour long. Yeah. And like every third into it, there's a song. And the songs are really bad as well. Yeah. It's like...

And it really, really annoys me when, um... In comedies, they, like, do a song or something. And then after the song, they're like, wow, that was actually a really funny, catchy song. her and he's like yeah i wrote it myself really yeah just they do that in one of the episodes and it's like you know what

that song was bad can i straight up say that i think just songs in in just like meme songs effectively they're the quingiest thing to me i find i cannot stand songs in animated things tv shows it's just nah that is a what if it's meant to be there it's a turn off what about like sponge bob's got

some good humorous songs like genuinely like that's funny i think it's all like just execution. Actually, yeah, think about that. Yeah, Sponchold does and it executes them quite well. But when they're executed poorly, it's just like, I'm going to turn this off.

Well, it's annoying and big math because you just don't really know what the fuck it's going for. Like, do you want to be this like educational thing for people who are going through puberty? In which case, why do you have shit that is so, like, edgy and offensive for offensive sake?

And then why do you have, like, these songs and why do you have all these, like, moral messages and stuff? What are you even going for? Why do you look so ugly? Get out of my face. You're just the worst. Episode two? One.

Zero, actually. I'm going for a solid zero. I'm going to say one. It's one. Ding, ding, ding to Alex again. After three, they'd actually have a little bit of break. You'd think so, but okay, episode three. Two.

Uh, none. Both wrong. It's one. So every episode so far has had at least one song. So it's been three, two, one. One, two, three, two, one. Is there only one episode that doesn't have any songs in it? What?

Are there multiple episodes that don't have songs in? Yes. Oh, okay, that's really difficult. And, funnily enough, they're the best ones. Episode four. None. One. James got that one.

No songs. Episode five. One. Two. Two. Is that both saying two? One. You're saying one, you're saying two?

Mm-hmm. It's one. Okay, six and seven have the same amount. Straight up, I'm going straight, I'm going hard, three, three each. One. Both wrong. Both have none. Oh, shit.

So that is the best one of the same. And those, I remember specifically being the best two episodes of the show. Because they didn't start singing. Yeah. they didn't have little naked 13 year olds prancing around scene yeah they do that so fucking much and they acknowledge how like weird and creepy it is sometimes there is a scene where

I think the characters are meant to be 13 years old and he's in like a naked photo shoot with his hormone monster and it's just like like is it supposed to be funny that it's just hardcore and out there yeah like it's shock humor but like you don't laugh because no jokes are being... I think shock humour in general sucks, honestly. If it ain't part of anything.

Like the best shock humor is like in Borat or something where he's using it to get a certain reaction out of people that don't know that he's an actor. Because that's actually like, that's a joke, that's proving something, it's making a statement. Whereas just pulling your asshole apart and doing a shit on the floor and then making a song about it. Ain't funny, man.

It's childish. You're fucking childish, Nick Kroll. I'm a douche. Hey! Okay, bonus points. Last question, this isn't the last... But, episode 10. Five.

Uh, two. Three. I was closest. And the plot of the episode is that they're doing a play. And it's a musical. And I might be wrong. It could actually be five because I think I lost count. So all and all great show.

Netflix on a winning golden streak with all of their content. Why does it have to have songs, though? Is it to fill time? Because adult animated comedy. Family guy always does it. Simpsons always did it. South Park does it. They all do it.

Actually, Rick and Morty doesn't do it. do they? Yeah, that's true. They haven't had like a musical one. They might do a musical episode one day or something, I don't know. Maybe there is. I haven't seen it for a long time. Oh yeah, it, watching it as well reminded me of my least favorite thing it has created.

What, Big Mouse? Yeah. What's that? Eyebrows, eyebrows. Do you remember that? What, that's like a running joke, is it? They do that thing where they like raise their eyebrows twice. While saying it.

And they go, eyes, eyes brows, eyes brows. That's a funny one. I, I don't know why, but that one really makes me angry. I can't do it, Ivows, eyebrows, eyebrows. Eyebrows, eyebrows. It really gets under my skin. It's just like, shut up, Big Mouth. Just shut up.

Go away. You think you're so clever, don't you? You actual little children. Also, there's this thing that doesn't, like, translate into animation very well and Nick Crowell voice is a character named Lola I believe Right

And she speaks like Oh my God Yeah That one Yeah And like when she drinks like tomato juice or something She'll go Glug

Glug Glug Right But when you're watching it Like it She's drinking But saying It's fucking weird, man.

That sounds funny. It's not funny. All and all, funny show. All in all, when it tries to be funny, it's not. Comedy is dead. We'll be back after these messages. Hello everyone. It's me, Alex. Almost got 2 million subscribers I do.

Buy one of my jar media shirts. Available in the description below. When I can, come out you had it I know it's funny day you had it

you need to wow wow joker what a beautiful day normally I you'd be inside working on one of your inventions and I be writing but this is awesome isn't it?

Come on What was that? When I come out Can you refer to me as No I mean I know what that was But why did you say it To try and entice you to reply In your Joker voice

Yeah but I don't know what Stewie says Oh I've got to go inside And get my knee pads Because I wasn't sucking someone off Because I'm a gay baby A gay bee When I come out Can you introduce

me as James as Stewie is Brian Hello normally you'd be inside working on one of your inventions Or more you'd be inside This is the part of the show

Where we go on That website Or app Depending on how you use it Known as Reddit We've already describes why you don't use the Reddit app I don't use it I don't use it

I use it James doesn't use it because apparently it's too easy to access porn on normally you'd be inside on your Reddit looking to porn I'd be inside on Reddit

on R slash in cell Minion cells um JAR Media Reddit JARMedia Reddit Go on the questions

and ask us what's up guys as a celebration to our 100 sub Q&A we're going to go in and answer some of your questions let's just head on in shall we wow repartley asks question for Alex do you have any plans to produce content for your Lego channel in the near future I was excited when you announced it on jar

and I'm curious to see what your plans it for R Um, yeah Alex's just like killed the channel And he's only made one of it yet It says in the description Waiting to be launched Yeah, so I plan on really starting To get that going in

January Oh, that'll be a great day Stop with the Brian If you don't stop Stop this toe's going in your mouth I don't know when I finish building Well Alex is kind of ready

reached the ceiling with his Lego potential So it's like he's got no content to make What a beautiful day Normally you'd be inside building one of your Legos Can you be reviewing a reload animation Dig the Head says If the first cast started with all of you You're sitting on the floor

How will the last cast end? Coffering? Yeah, no, coffins. But we're all going to just die. This is it. The last episode, we'll set the camera up like this. And basically, we'll get our family to put our dead bodies here and then auto make the video. And they'll just be our dead bodies.

It'll be the... By then, like, in that Shane Dawson documentary, we can just use, like, AI to make podcasts. Yeah. Just have someone, pair of writers to just write our mannerisms in. I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you Do you want Taco Bell?

Give me the tea Give me the tea I want to fuck you I'm going to attack you It'll be that for an hour James I want to fuck you Give me the tea

We could do an upside down episode We thought about it We just don't know how to do it Yeah we need like seatbelts or something to strap us into the Ceiling. I think we wouldn't last an hour, though. Why not?

Gravity inverser. Hello. I'd be dead. I'd get a headache, and then my nose would bleed, and it would just be like, oh no. You're just not willing to sacrifice for the cause. Alex does not want blood over his carpet. Well, it can just go with a urine that's just soaked in. Yeah, sorry about that.

Oh yeah, and the poo. I've got a bad continents problem What You're incontinence I'm incontinence I am being I I am incontinence

It's the new That's the next threat of the Avengers Yeah incontinence That's the threat of Captain America now Am I right lads Hey Hey man can we talk

Do you know what incontinence is Yeah I don't I do It's how I fucking pooped myself It's when you're not really resilient of things what people say and you're narrow-minded.

It means you're like afraid of people saying that you stink or something. Yeah. I'm incapable. I agree to disagree with that sentiment. Born to fart. We have a good question from a holographic feminist. If jar started a religion

and all the jar members were worshipped as gods, what would your ten commandments be? Let's, no, well, let's do we've got to do three each then decide on one okay what are your three commandments James oh god don't start with me I need time Margul

is one of James is the taking a shit at the same time every day yeah that part of the region is you have to poo at that one specific time well that's one of your commandments then yeah this is mine keep your booty hole clean

that's one of my that's actually really helpful though yeah The word of us is absolute So we have like a militia We can just tell them to do We can overthrow the world

It's just normal religion The world Yeah no this is a cult not a religion Yeah well we start We claim it's a religion but it is actually a cult Where we can control and manipulate people Religions are just bigger cults Hmm what else

Oh, that's a hard one You must give 75% Of everything you own To jar Yeah, yeah No, no, no, even better What's Yours is mine Yeah, that's way better

We can just take whatever we want Yeah So what's yours is mine What if that's interpreted though Like everyone thinks What's yours is mine Like they all think Yeah, that's where you'd come across

Yeah, that, that... Yeah, but that... It would have to be what's yours is jars. What's yours is jars? Okay. Yeah, that works. That works. That's two for me.

Are you just looking up at actual commandments? No, I'm noting them down. No. See, I... For our cult, our cult has to be clean. So they have to wash their hands after going to the toilet. They're all shit and poo related. They can't...

We can't do that. We're supposed to be a good cult. No, washing your hands is good. What do you mean by a good cult? We're supposed to be kind of cool and mysterious and, you know, all the culty things. Hmm. Um, you have... If you leave us, you will perish.

Yeah. That's my three then. Come on, you guys are shit at coming up with cult rules. It's hard, man. Because it's not, it's easy. No, you want to, like... What dominates, controls, and manipulates more than anything? Money.

Money, drugs, women. You have to give jar all your women. Drugs are legal for us and no one else. Yeah, give us your drugs. No, but that comes into what yours is jars. Yeah, true. Give us all your drugs. No, but...

They have to... make to maintain order though they have they are fucking drug farmers yeah we need to maintain order by controlling everything they ingest such as drugs alcohol women

how about alcohol is a drug jar is never wrong no I said that the word of jar is absolute okay yeah we do already have that one yours just sounds cooler yeah what a surprise

what about something everyone is shave their head. Everyone must shave their booties. Everyone must be clean and pristine. Yeah, that comes down to mind. Why don't we take it the next level? Everyone must shave all hair on

their body. Yeah, all hair and everyone has to wear the same clothes. No? Yes. Apart from us. Yeah, we can wear what we want. No, everyone else has to just wear like a dressing gown but they can have to

a blue dressing gown yeah jar blue dressing gown that works is that one of the rules then yeah how should I phrase that uh

the clothing of jar is absolute the clothing of jar is absolute the clothing of jar is absolute But that one is tricky to interpret. That's six. Yeah, that's my three and your three. James is... I've had two.

No, you haven't. Poo o'clock. Yeah, that's one then. That means you have one more then, Jim. No, I've had three. No, I had three. No, I had three as well. Have you written down poo o'clock?

Yeah. And what about wash your hands? I'm wrong. There are seven. James has two more, and then there's one shared. Oh, this is difficult. You know, what's something you want, you see someone on the street and you're like, I just wish they would, they worked under this. What?

They worked under this. What do you mean? Like a concept or a rule or anything. Everyone has to wear AirPods 24-7. That's how we control. No, but that's how we control them. How? How would we do that?

We'd have to invent technologies that aren't real. No, because then they'd have jar media going through their. is 24-7. That's how you radicalize them and get them into the cult. I think that's the key that he's struck on the key of the rule which should be

Jaya is eternal, as then you should always be listening to Jha. Yeah, like, I'm imagining it like Rajneeshpuram, where we've got like a huge like farmland. And we've got these big speakers just playing Jarre episodes. Like five

am every day. That's how everyone's woken up. Get to work. There's like two jobs you either make beer or grow weed. Yeah but what about food? Go and buy it.

So what was that one then? Jarre is funny. Jarre is eternal. Yeah. Yeah. Jire is eternal. Jor is eternal. Jarr is eternal. you can't leave it you can't leave okay james you got your yeah wait you can't leave i suppose that still sort of comes under jar is eternal yeah no that that does it's it's not something you should

really have to say though because like we that's an unspoken we've already sort of like we're controlling them through brainwashing pretty much so like you you don't need to say it because if that's a red light to people isn't it if you say like don't leave you're not allowed to leave then they're like oh maybe I do well you want to change their brain to convince them that leaving would be bad yeah yeah that makes sense yeah this is just like manipulation 101 the shit's easy yeah yeah honestly in like five minutes we've just deciphered the the whole structure pretty much and with room to spare we haven't even decided a few more of the

commandments well it doesn't I mean I'd prefer if our cult wasn't just based off of Christianity. What about one about us, we are the ultimate word on deciding what's right and wrong? Because then we can do literally anything. Yeah, that's what we want, right? Well, yeah. What's the point of having a cult if you can't just do whatever you want? So our word, we've used the word, well, the word of jar is absolute.

That is that. Yeah. That's already covered. Hmm. Anything else? Well, James, you ought to decide one. Come on, get your cult hat on, for God's sake. It's not complicated.

This stuff is eat. This stuff they teach in primary school nowadays. No, no, no, it is difficult. Because what does a man want when we've got it all? Research into the unknown. They have to learn cooking through cooking mama. Again, stupid. Again, James just.

looked at cooking mama on the ball behind me that's how you come up with every idea he just looks at the wall and it always ends on cooking mama James is like a writer on Big Mouth they have to go I know because that's

Charles' word is absolute what about like there's a law that says you have to make to be in the cult you have to make each member of laugh once a day. No.

No, you can't have that. Why? Because then... Because then it would be a humorous nation. Like it would keep the spirits high. They would be pressured. Yeah. Yeah, which is good for morale.

But there's a big chance that the majority of people won't be able to stay. In which case, we just put them to death. We poison them. We just, we get rid of them. And that way we craft... We wouldn't have a cult. No, that's not true. We'd get bored of them saying this.

No, because think about it. In time, you cull the unfunny mass and you create this super race of absolute fucking comedians. No, but you're getting to realize. We have different sense of humours. So if they might make you to laugh, but if they don't make me laugh, which is... Should we say they have to make one of us laugh every day?

And who you make laugh has greater value, depending on who it is? What's that supposed to mean? Who's... No, that doesn't work. Who's got the most value, man? No, no, no, that doesn't work. Because then... Oh, you tell me how my cult doesn't work.

No, we're... No, that won't work, because then if you fake... If one of us fake laugh every day, we'll convert all of them to our side and we can call the other jar members and have the control of the cult ourselves. So you're telling me, before we even begin, we're already betraying each other. Well, that's what your rule implied. Some cult, this is going to be.

I'm the brains behind this whole thing, anyway, so... I'm the muscle. Okay, let's reel it back then. The comedy culling, maybe not a direct rule, but happening in the background, at the very least. Yeah, you can't let them know, though. They can't know. So let's start with the, by just getting rid of the least funny. Like people you know, sorry, there's just no chance for you.

You've never said anything even remotely funny. You have no purpose, just grind them into mush and put them in burgers, something like that. Yeah, that's where that solves the food problem. Exactly. Yeah. Cannibalism is cool. How about that one? No, no. They can't know that. Yeah. That's way too extreme. Like, we can eat like KFC and stuff, but they're stuck with...

Whatever we give them? Yeah. No, but you've got to convince them to think that eating people is the right thing to do within the cult. No, you don't tell them that they've been eating people for like six years. And then you're like, oh, by the way, you've been eating people for like six years. And then they can't like freak out then because they've been doing it. it for six years, they'll be like... But then they'll be like, whatever.

No, but you've got... The problem is people aren't going to join the cult if they don't benefit for something. So you've got to give them something on the plate first. Bit of purpose in their life. No, no. If Joker taught me anything, it's that. No.

It's what people crave. No. That won't get people in. We need to hook line and sink of them. Which we would have with our rules. Come on, just think of one for God's sake. It's not hard. Do do

You have One of the commandments is They have to wipe our bumps Hmm Because one of the commandments Is to You're obsessed with like shit No, you are obsessed

More than I am No I get the red No Listen One of the commandments is They've got to be clean and tidy So they've got to keep us

Clean and tidy Or does that sink into the same one they should carry us around they should carry us around like say for example we're recording the cast in a lot right everybody I need a break

run me a bath bathe me yeah that's my fucking command no it should be there so you've always got people waiting around like ready to carry you and stuff so Joe's bath time is absolute

So we'll, God, it would really boost like an internal economy of the cult Because you'd have so many jobs, honestly Oh, I need someone to pill the skin off the skin, brusher, blowjobler We get George Clooney Bull cleaner All we'd need is one celebrity Yeah, that's the goal If we could Nick Tom Cruise from

No, Seth Macfarlane You know the money he puts into things he believes in? Get him to believe in our religion. And then... No, we can't stop there. So we need all of you to tweet at Seth MacFarlane. Wait, did he say Seth MacFarlane? Yeah.

And Seth Rogen. In my head, I was thinking Seth Rogen. And... James Franco? No. No, he's too creepy. We don't want it. He'll put new people off.

No, but we need Scarlett Johansson We need some Eye candy You fucking pervert Yeah, jar Oh yeah, Jar is the eye candy Yeah, that's why they're joining

Yeah Well, I mean, we reel them in with the obvious shit The sexiness that we exude Look at the size of our bottoms, people I've got pretty large nipples for my size small man with large nipples here we should know we should have like as our holy book slash relic slash

you know item of grand importance it should be straight from like pulp fiction or something like a briefcase that no one is ever allowed to look inside so there's like what would we actually put in it something something funny to us so when we look at it we laugh just that a framed picture of Sandy

that picture of Sandy in SpongeBob or this pig stool or argue wearing shreddies oh shreddies for all and we have

the monuments we have are like the jar animals the different Harry Potter houses yeah but we need a holiday no and that's how we decide who to cull

Like you get in Slytherin or Ravenclaw Coal Mm-hmm No but what's our national Like religious holiday then A cult holiday Um Jarre

Yeah No but what day And what's special about the day Celebrating our religion It's the birth of our religion And what's special What happens on that day You

Are our slaves You get to join in in the culling That's it Every year builds up to the culling And then it's just a massive culling game And we sit there at the top of our ivory tower Going Snipe that one

Will you? On top of the play area Snip that one I wouldn't even hold the weapon myself I'd just be like you Snipe them who would be our bodyguards the rock for me

no we won't be able to get the rock no we won't I don't even want to they'd have to be the champions of the culling like they work their way up to being like the jars it's like a gladiator thing apart from only unfunny people

get to fight each other well no no no but the unfunny people have to have to fight funny people the funniest people and that's how they become the jars personal just because you kill someone it doesn't make you funny

No, it's the funniest people They have to kill the unfunny people Because that's how you keep the system No, no, this is how you make it Entertainment It's like Gladiator You capture the unfunny people And just set them upon each other

Whoever wins Yeah, but how are we going to determine Who's the strongest to be Jarl's bodyguards? The Jard-Torium guard Just flip a coin And if not, pull out your piece No, whoever wins the fight is clearly strongest So he comes and helps

No, but he's unfunny Yeah, he doesn't need to be funny because all he's got to do is guard. Oh, the Jartorian guard. Yeah. The Jartorian guard. And like, we really like treat them as like second class citizens

unfunny people. No. Yeah, it's a humour based economy. No, but then they'd kill us. They, because they're the people, they're the strongest. No, but they're so like oppressed that they wouldn't dare.

No, but then they're not going to protect us because they're oppressed. That won't work. We purposefully breed them to have bad genes. No, because of them. can't even fight back. Breed them. Breed humans.

Yeah, with control, who does what? No, because you guys are so narrow-minded in your family room. You're forgetting, if we create a class system like that,

the bottom will repel at some point and kill us. We can't have that. We can't treat, we can't treat the Jartorian guy badly. I just fixed it. Every like six months, you just flip which side is the oppressed one.

And because we're in control, we're just like, all right, flip. And then, Keep someone that... Then give all the power to the people that are oppressed, and then... Yeah, but how's that going to work with the... So does that mean the funniest people are now fighting each other?

No, like, nobody knows, but we're supplying, like, the oppressed every six months with, like, guns. And then... That, how's that going to work in a Gladiator, like, pit? No, Gladiator Pit is scrapped. This new idea is genius. Would you give them guns or give them more entertaining weapons? Yeah, more entertaining weapons. Like swords.

yes no those no more more difficult to use this would have to be on like an island in the middle of nowhere yeah it'd be a massive assault course that's where they fight no no

you're stuck on this um gladiator pit it's now it's just like there are this there are two layers the oppressed and no I know that no but I'm sorry no but they don't have like a place where they fight we just secretly supply the oppressed with weapons

and they like sneak into people's bedrooms and stab them while they're sleeping and stuff so they just fucking no but then that don't work though because then you will have to have a constant influx of the same amount of people so that when you flip it and the culling happens you've still got the oppressed

and the unoppressed and what experience you're speaking on how do you know that would happen well if we no we make an ecosystem where they are reproducing yeah and they would think we're gods anyway yeah Yeah, they said in the question that we're gods

Yeah, but how will we know when it's time to flip? Because if we've given... Every six months, it's just a timer. No, no, this is a problem. If we've given the oppressed guns at some point, those guns aren't going to disappear, and we won't be able to take them away. Well, what about ammo?

No, we'd have to constantly give the flip even more advanced technology. Well, yeah, that's why you just start on like... Sticks. Well, one gun. And then six-month flip, two gun. Six-month flip, three gun. And then

And then you flip You've got to give the other one bodyguards So the guns are ineffective So you're giving way guns And then fucking spaceships Yeah, yeah And you've got to keep constantly It's like this galactic war

Nonstop and Neverending See, all of that That's what this is what Joker's done to us It's turned this into actual psychos That wasn't a psycho discussion Well no, it was smart, obviously Because we said it And we're good at coming up with plans

And that sort of type of thing We're schemers we're scammers we're cars we're like dogs chasing cars like we wouldn't actually know what we do

if we caught a car you know yeah the Stacys will pay yeah the Stacey's they're gonna be oppressed yeah anyone called Stacey

gets oppressed or cult when babies are born and they say can I call them Stacy you're like yeah

yeah that's if you're want your baby to be beheaded in front of you. So, well, no, but then that, we've got a, we've got a, like, if,

the Stacey's are getting killed, what's the equivalent getting killed? The Chads? No, but, no, Chad and Stacies are on the same side, you fool. No, yeah, no, Alex is saying it's correct,

but who's going to call their son, Chad? Yeah. People who are called Chad? Nobody's called Chad. Think the amount of, Chad to getting killed compared to Stacey's, each fucking culling. No, but, but you flip it and then Stacey's and Chats are on top. You've got, like if you have a kid, you've got to choose the right name at the right time.

No, no matter what name, if they get a Stacey, at some point they're going to get cold. So they can't win. So you don't call them Stacey. We should have arbitrary rules for like every year. The names all have to be on like a theme of some kind. Yeah, that way it's really easy to. So then you know who's constantly, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, It lasted the longest.

Because that name will constantly reappear. So when we run out of ideas and there's like a year where every child is named after like an Ewok from Star Wars. You just hope that wouldn't be the rebellion year. No, it's meant it. You wouldn't do it wicket, would you? Not to your God.

You're a leader. It would be a good way to see how long the generations last with the naming convention. Hmm. But surely if it's going to, we're going to change the name to be generation. We need to change the clothes. That must be the record for the least questions answered. What, two?

Two or three. Wow. I'm kind of excited for this culling now. You know, it wasn't real, right? Yeah. Oh, shit. Also, if there was a culling, like, we wouldn't be involved. We're just getting other people to do everything.

Yeah, so we have no. It's genius. It's like a game. It's like the Olympics. Yeah, it's pure entertainment. Yeah. Well, thanks for watching this episode of um the sidonic host

and the cult curse no but what's the cult's name the culling cursed we didn't think of a name for the cult Jah oh yeah shit Jumdi Bai

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