JAR Media Posdact - Larva Island Invanders! - JARCAST Episode 169

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Jarm Media podcast, episode 169. Thank you to the Patrons at Patreon for supporting the show. And hello guys, how are we doing this fine morning? Good afternoon. That's the sex number. What? Oh.

Yeah. Wow. mouth sex number you can elaborate on that are you just going to say some comment that's not true because it's a hundred and sixty nine not 69 we're a hundred episodes into it how are we doing today ladies and gentlemen we're more than a hundred episodes into it i know 169 episode but if you add a hundred to 69 you get 169 which is the 169 so a hundred episodes into the 69 episode if that makes sense to you make sense to me sense to anyone

because it's not right It makes no fucking sense at all That's basic maths Plus one number with another And you get a number So how are we doing today? You know Pretty fresh

Feeling fresh Feeling alive Feeling alive I'm feeling fresh I'm feeling fresh I'm feeling Supremely fresh Like you got diarrhea

I kind of do there. Same. Because, well, I had KFC yesterday, McDonald's for breakfast, Burger King for dinner. You know, I'm living that life. So you're a picture of health then?

Yeah. That's healthy, no, but I have salad at the same time. Oh, right. In between each, I have a salad. And I've never been healthier. I take my living in... I'm doing good in life. And that's what we want.

So what have you been up to recently, boys? Jim and I went to London this last week You have It's been a very sad week Because I haven't played any Rainbow 6 I've just been you know In bed crying every day Because I haven't had my bros

Family reunion Happened in London Which was pretty crazy And I've been told that you were moody The entire time Me? Yeah No

You were a moody boy That Okay I never said he was moody The entire time Just for a brief moment Alex was moody Oh, his Lego order was delayed I didn't actually buy any Lego

You didn't? You went to London You didn't buy any Lego Went to the Lego shop of course But there was nothing to take my fancy You're just trying to flex with your Lego points To all the cashiers Speaking of Lego

Last episode I posed the challenge To the jarlings out there To see if they could find my new Lego channel that I haven't promoted anyway Within a few hours It was found it's a very predictable name as well

is it that's like if you think of a Lego channel that I hate everything would make you'd think I build everything but nobody thought that no I Lego everything no that doesn't make sense though so I build everything makes sense

but with that name you've also opened up for the rest of Jarmisia to also throw in their creations Jamie could do his I build Dark Souls classes Oh, that's going to work James builds helicopters You know, that's going to work. Everything can work James builds tanks

Helicopters Exactly, that's like You've opened Jail up to the greater community And that is fantastic Well, I haven't done that No It's a selfish project Well, me and Jim steal the details

I log in It's not so So I've got my second video in the works It's pretty exciting I did watch Is I-H-E just ditched now? Is it over? Forget about it.

Yeah, it's all about Lego. Can you go in the fucking dumpster as far as I'm concerned? I can suck my balls. I did actually watch... I watched the first video for about one minute. And I just saw you. This is my Lego room. You can see my shelves.

I originally bought them for my Kia. And then... Mm-hmm. And I was just like... Wow. I'm so proud. And I just turned off the video. I didn't see any more.

So you're horrible No, I'm so proud of Alex's question So you can make fun of me then No, I'm not making fun of you I love your legacy channel But what's the next video in the works I'm so you're just gonna have to know and find out everybody When's it out then?

Well, I don't know, can't pressure me It's all recorded And there is excitement, let me tell you Oh Are you gonna start doing like You're in custom builds, like No You're not?

No No. So you're not going to do like a Lego Argi? I don't think so. You let's all down though, Alex. I was looking forward to that. Now, if we go back to this London thing, because we've done the Lego congratulations now.

Boo. Well done. Going back to the Lego thing. You just said, let's go back to a London thing. And then you said, let's go back to the Lego thing. Because of the Lego thing. Going back to London, instead of going, and spending money in the Lego shop,

I instead went to an Apple store. Something James hates equally. No, I don't hate it. The main reason I own every one of my Apple products is because I know how much it's going to annoy James. You said you literally bought your Apple Watch just to annoy me. And the moment I saw it, I was just like, is that an Apple Watch? Cool.

I had no reaction to it. No, you cringed. I did not. I don't. You can buy Apple products It doesn't problem me It's your money Alright

Hey no no no no you're You thinking I ate Apple products is incorrect Because I've got the best Apple product ever made And that's an iPad that's lasted What gen? It's a first gen iPad and it's lasted since then Is it really the first gen? Yeah

It was a first ever now Really slow now No It pops up every day saying This has iPad hasn't been a updated in like 150 weeks but it still works

I like that there's not a company better than old Apple it's when their products became really bad so I don't like them like the product that Alex got at the Apple store or did you get at the Apple store guess I'm not saying well Alex has

I'm going to go through the things that I know Alex owns The iPad Mini, the iPad extra large. Not a normal iPad. Apple Watch has like owned every iPhone. That's not true. You've got the chargeable tech. You've got the pen. You haven't had the keyboard and mouse yet.

No, you've got the keyboard. No one cares about which Apple products I own. No, it's going through because you're an Apple fan. No, you are a hardcore Apple fan. You literally buy Apple everything. No, no. If I was that hardcore, I'd edit my videos on one. I don't. I have a PC.

Because because you only have a PC because Torranting is easier on that PC and that's why you've got it. That's not true. You used to talk about it at a ton. And isn't that better one on an Apple product? That's why all the pros use it.

It made no sense to me to get one of those like big Apple computers because they're so overpriced. And back when you started doing YouTube, I don't think you wanted to go out there. I just needed a video. rendering machine that can run um you know adobe products nicely and that's what i have i find um windows based stuff is normally way easier to use as well well yeah i've been using it since

the 90s so yeah exactly whereas i'm used to it learning the operating system i like having my hands dipped a bit into both though so i'm not completely out of my element if i'm on a different machine yeah but what i'm saying is apple is shit Yeah, going back to what the actual point of this story was supposed to be, is that I think Apple stores might be the worst shops ever made. Well, I've never been in one. So, explain to me what about it. So, like, different from everything else. Is, is the Apple store we experienced how Apple stores are?

Yes. Because I swear I've been to one in Bath where they just have a counter and you pay. No. Really? That's the genius bar. Well, I've never bought anything from an Apple store. door, so. No, that's what I'm saying. If you want to buy something,

you'll walk around aimlessly for ages until you find someone who works there who's not busy with someone else. And you go, hello, I'm after blank. Can I please buy blank? And chances are they'll say, oh, you're going to have to find someone who can actually deal with this.

May I direct you to my colleague over there? so then you're passed on to another caller you queue apparently you can sew you things but this one in London they were like let me just add you to the virtual queue bit bab boom on their fucking iPad and then it was like

right what's your name Alex right A-L-E-X Into the iPad it goes Right if you just stand over there we will be with you shortly And you just fucking stand there So long

Until this stranger comes over to you And they're like Are you Alex? Let me shake your hand Glad I'm doing business with you my friend What would you like? And I'm just holding the box Empty display box

Yeah Can I buy these things please Alright Bear with me a minute And he goes off To go to like a drawer That they keep them in and gets one and then brings it back

and then finally it was able to buy it on like this little machine thing they carry around the whole process takes something like half an hour probably that is like some

dystopian like fucking society like you got put it onto a virtual snobbish yeah it's bullshit it sounds ridiculous it's the worst shop set up of all time like on the Apple store app

if you go on it it's like hey buy things from within the store with the app so you don't have to mess around in the store so I was like cool I'll just do that but the product I wanted

didn't have any actual retail versions on the shelves because they're worth too much so they have no barcodes on them so you couldn't even scan anything and pay for it on the app anyway sounds terrible that's the type of store I wouldn't want to go in

because I just get really anxious and I go into shops and have to have a confrontation with that stuff. I would not shop on that. Sounds terrible. Yeah, I don't know what their thought process is. Just keep them in the store as long as possible and frustrate them to no end. Yeah, so they never want to come back and buy more stuff.

Great business plan. I mean, it must be working. Them geniuses are up to something. The thing is that when you're in a position like Apple is, nothing has to be good apart from the whatever you're buying the product

because like people don't even necessarily buy an iPhone because it's the best thing on the market they buy an iPhone because it's an iPhone yeah they're what the most profitable company or something in the world

is that right? Probably they're up there it's crazy What did you think Alex bought, James? Well, he's really given it away by saying it's the most expensive thing. What? No, I said it was just too expensive to be on the shelves. Well, surely, if it's an iPhone net, surely they'll have a barcode on because they're so popular.

And that's a thousand pound. I didn't buy a phone. No, but it's an example. No, you wouldn't be able to scan it because it's too expensive. For surely, you'd be able to scan it's because it's their flagship thing. So they'd allow you to scan that. So it must be... No, because what if someone just walked in, picked it up and walked it up

and walked out. It's a box, empty box. You can just scan the empty box. There was no barcode on it, though, because it's said on the back, this is a display copy. What, so you're saying none of them had barcodes on?

No. So nothing to shop. Anything that's too expensive, I would assume. Yeah. No, but no, this is what I'm saying. An iPhone X is their flagship thing.

It makes the most money. So of all the things in shop, they'd have that have a code on, so people can do that. So, and that's a thousand pounds. You'd still have to wait for someone to come and find you, though, if it's still an empty box.

You know, yeah. It doesn't even help that. But I'm saying, surely they would have that logically thinking, speaking, so it must be more expensive than an iPhone X. I have no idea. I'm thinking like 700 pound maybe this thing you bought cost. Oh no. No. This wasn't that expensive?

No. And how does this thing not have a barcode on? Well, I mean, because even iPhone accessories are expensive. Did you buy an iPhone accessory? Yes. Yes. Is it a lever case? You know what I'm not saying, let's move on.

We've got other things to cover. I wanna know. Well, you can find out and tell people next week. Because we have important shit we gotta get to. Okay, get to it then. Since you said you bought a subject to this cast. Yeah, I bought three topics because I'm the only one who actually does work. You literally refuse my subject every week.

every week. Because it's always a piss take joke one. It's not. How is it a piss take joke one? I want to know why James has the stinkest farts

ever known. Oh God, why? Why? Okay. Like, James did a fart after last week's cast. That question was answered by the intro to this episode.

Yeah. No, last week we finished recording and James did a fart. It's just sort of normal business. Farts are quite regular around here. However, this fart, it created a wall in this room. It didn't. They were exaggerating it, it did.

There was just a point where, like, there was a theoretical line. And if you stepped beyond the line, then you're in for a world of hurt. Okay. The stench. Jesus Christ. Now, honestly, it was... Jesus Christ. I smell a lot of farts, okay?

My own gyms. Argi says Argi has really bad farts Yeah exactly So you know how much this means For me to say this Yeah That fart was the worst smelling fart

I've ever smelt in my entire life And that means a lot coming from me So I've smelt some real The Zingers It was a fucking bad fart But I'm pretty sure it's because of the food I had The day before Do you eat like

Like a hyena or something I can imagine Haina's having like stinky death farts. That fart was particularly bad. That was like the only bad thought I did that day and it just happened to be what time. How often do you fart in a day?

Not that often. There you go. Is that why? It all gets concentrated into two heavy payloads. Whereas instead of nice ones that are just always releasing that just smell of nothing but

perfume? Yeah. No, you two have done some pretty bad ones as well. No, that's bullshit. No, you have. no mine are nice mine are nice neither of yours are nice

okay they're nice they're really nice after a coffee they're nice in comparison to the one I did last week doesn't mean they're nice yeah fucking rotarua is nicer compared to the one

I that one I did last week just happened to be the most concentrated one I've done in a while actually ever it was so fucking bad I don't even know how to describe the smell what would you say it was more like

rotten than digested it was like it was it smelled as if you could imagine a fart would smell if it was like trapped within something that had died for a while and it had only just released

so James is back from the dead the stench of death lingered in the air and it disappeared quite quickly no it fucking didn't it took ages weird to go to We had to leave the room because it just wouldn't go away.

After listening to Drake for a bit. Probably it was nasty. We did that day. Yeah, we always do. We listen to Drake after every episode. But we should never meet Drake. Because Drake is cursed. We've already met Drake.

We've interviewed him for this actual show. Oh shit, yeah. I remember. Matt was... Talk about career-defining moments. He's probably the biggest job fan. Straight up. And we're the biggest job.

The biggest Drake fan. The good homies meet. Ruben saw him live. Loved it. And of, really? Yeah. Is that two of three or one of three? That's two of three.

What was the first one again? Lego Channel. Oh, boys. Jim, you're taking over. You can't just do this randomly. No, you can't. Take over. So Jim, Jim is now becoming host because James randomly decided at 18 minutes in.

It's just more comfortable over here, and this seems really warm. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to round two. Welcome to round two. Let's say number three of two, three, number three of three. So, um, for those who are watching the video version, the intro, the intro, would explain a bit of the setup to this but Jim and I

discovered something on Netflix one of the best shows we've seen in a while it's called... I hate it it's called Lava Island Mm-hmm at least every time we record something you guys watch an episode of it or multiple It's not true Jim is obsessed

of it, Jim loves it No I'm not I've seen no more than any of any of you for example No more than Alex See, I don't go home and watch it Neither do I

Lava Island is a Netflix show Based on what I think came off for YouTube I think it was like a YouTube animated thing Which is called lava The main characters are like They're lavas They're like bug things Little worms

One's a little red worm that screams like a little girl but is a boy and the other one is like a yellow thing yellow worm bit bigger that it's a bit bigger and it farts then they both fart

is it just the yellow one I think it's just the yellow one it farts damn James going in with that lava law yeah but the story of the show is that they're stranded on an island no but why is there like Jesus there You see, I haven't seen him in a single episode

No, but as the show goes along No, look, listen, already The fact that James ran away In pure anger At the sight of lava We wanted him to watch a specific episode So we could talk about it, but we tried to put it on And he was like, no, you are just children

I'll see you in seven minutes And if it's not over, I'm gone Okay, you directly quoted me there Am I wrong? No, no, yeah, I just said you directly quoted me. So instead of joining in so you could join in the discussion, you just came upstairs and did a fat shit in the toilet. I didn't do a fat shit.

Yes, you fucking did. I did a fat pee. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I just had up the cast, you know, I'm on that grind. Anyway. Okay, what is it about this love episode that you wanted me to see so passionately? Like, as this show goes along, there's only one season of it, and every episode...

That's two seasons. Is it? There's a third in production, actually. Are you serious? Yeah. How do you know that? No idea, you know? The fact James has already seen, like, every episode, it's quite weird.

I don't want to give it away that I'm a big mouth of a fan. Okay, let's test your lava skills with this episode. but I was trying to still setting the scene of the show to those who don't understand. I see. I'll say one more time, it's called Lava Island. That's lava L-A-V-A. Not lava as in L-A-V-A-E. No, it's L-A-R-V-A.

Yeah, like lava, like, bug lava. Yeah. Lava. See how much I know. I've got the name of it. Lava Island. But as the show goes along, more characters are introduced. There's a crab that turns into a Gundam.

there's a Jesus Are you fucking serious? It turns into a gunned It's not Jesus It's just some guys It's just this guy They designed after Jesus No they didn't

He's wearing jaws There's like enemy Lava There's a bird And most importantly There's a seal There is a seal character Who's introduced in

Lava Island And that was the episode We were trying to show you Have you seen that episode No Great so you haven't seen the episode we specifically want us to talk about and wanted you to watch you explained why i didn't i didn't see it what so you haven't literally no excuse okay no i'm not

saying makes it okay you're like i've i've seen literally every episode i know everything yeah we did not say that you pretty much did you said you've already seen it so you're not going to watch it no what i didn't know as soon as you put on other island i just think it's the episode we have seen why would we re-watch it yeah why would we do that there's like 20 episodes and you'd think we'd go back and watch the two that we have watched It is the best anime though

It's probably the best anime ever made No it's not it's not anime Alex You watch the episode we just watched And tell us it's not anime That shit is anime Why is it anime Lava Island is the best anime Yeah

Like no questions are It's got Just talking about Lava Island as a whole, it's got like these twists and turns and like you never know what is coming I ain't going to lie

it subverts. It doesn't only subvert but it subverts subverts, it subverts the subverted expectations. Yes. Yeah. It's honestly genius. I don't want to be the only one saying Lava Island is genius.

Love Island is genius. No, I know what's going on. You're trying to make this the next Madagascar. No, we're not. No, it's not Madagascar. No, it is. The Madagascar phase is coming to an end. So Alex needs to find a replacement.

Can't do Confu Panda, because that's been around too long. So Alex is sliding in with the lava island. We know that's how it is. That's how it's going. I predict this. Sliding in with a lava island. Why can we not just like things? Yeah.

Why does it have to be a bar of a new... A new meme. Literally everything you do is that. Oh, for goodness sake. Okay, Alex, when was the last time you mentioned Managascar? Exactly. So you... Last episode?

No, because I... No, that was a question, so that doesn't count. Well, it literally does. I know your game. I've seen your cards, Alex. You've seen my car. I've seen your cards. Can we talk about a specific...

moment in the seal episode of Lava Island please sure so the seal um it's final smash if you will is to is to sing

a beautiful song a lullaby that makes all living things that can hear it just freak out not freak out the opposite it's like her jiggly puff song like it's like a jiggly puff song

like It makes you love the seal, but in a non-sexual way. Okay, so do an impression of the song then. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

People. Sound familiar? Who is familiar with the album, My Beautiful, Dark Twisted Fantasy? Oh. This is why you wanted to me to... This fucking seal Does the same thing He's spitting bars

Kanye literally sampled Lava Island for that album You sampled something from the future Yeah Fuck It really is a time traveller Yeah No he

He's such a trend setter He uh... He uh sampled a future trend I'm gonna No I'm gonna have to watch this now You've peaked this is why we No it's too late Yeah you fucked it

You can go home and watch it If you're gonna fuck us over like this Please 10 quibb for a Netflix subscription So you can watch a seven minute episode Of Laver Island No now that You're spitting bars at me And I don't like that

You finna know we had to clap back Booty clap back Booty booty Booty Booty That's nice to fuck that story I'm disappointed It's a great episode though

And a great All you had to say was Darktuce's fantasy And I'd been like Oh shit And that would ruin the whole thing Yeah Okay

You could have said something About Kim Kardashian And then I would have watched it What Because she is married to Kanye To end the love island discussion There's this like romantic episode Oh we've seen that one I've seen that one

No it's different Where the yellow one is like upset That everyone else on the island has a love it Yeah don't spoil it too hard Fine I won't spoil it People gotta go watch this But thing it's so short Every episode is like seven minutes long

So Consider it homework Go watch Lava Island and report back If we're wrong Well you just got suckered into watching Lava Island And that's a funny prospect But if we're right See, this is why it's Malagascar V2

If we're right Then you just watch Lava Island And you are now part of the initiated Mm-hmm Even James is James has watched Lava Island and Cunky Panda too No but Kung Fu Panda is trucker

incredible. Well, well, well. Maybe someone ain't so crazy. So you're not willing for Lava Island to have the same treatment upon you. Do you remember all the flames you toss towards

Kung Fu Panda? I do. And we'll be back after these messages. Skidooosh. Jim likes it when I do that. Skadoosh. More like Oh, hey, mm-hmm

Oh,dy, partner, me a-di me have shirts for sale, send the description below Now I'm gonna do an impression of James Kung Fu Panda 2 is one of the best animated movies in the ever That's why it has an effect on me Because it's in fucking credible

There's nothing standing out about Love Island that's not true dog it's not it's not Kung Fu Panda 2 level no and it's not but it is its same thing it is its own thing and I appreciate that the law is actually incredible yeah it's watching because Lava Island there's the other show called just lava not just lava it's called lava and it appears as though there's a whole law to be discovered in the original lava so it makes you want to go back and watch lava so you were saying you've seen lava no I'm I'm saying from this episode that Alex was talking about it seems

like lava island is breaking bad and lava is better cause all yes or um lava island is the Avengers and lava is the original movies the the solo Marvel movies That makes sense to me What's your favourite episode from memory then James Seeing as you're the lava, like expert To be honest, the two episodes I've seen are not that good And I did not enjoy them That's bullshit

It was the one that the whole joke was Fart and being ill Fart, so really funny then Fart isn't funny And then that's it, I can't remember See they don't get They don't have the impact on me So I forget

That's because you've only seen the intro episodes. Yeah, I know, but you haven't convinced me to watch the other words. Yeah, because you're so fucking whatever. Don't whatever me. This is the part of the show where we head over to the JAR Media Reddit and answer questions from the community. Um, let's spin the wheel and start with a, a, uh, a listener, shall we? Skib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib. Oh, wow. Holographic feminist it landed on Pride month is coming up

they say how will Argy and Max be celebrating um by fucking each other gaily how Max won't be celebrating

he'll be locked in the basement for being gay he'll have a wank one of those like wank bank memories about Argy yeah Argy will just an argue will sing and Argy will

sing in sing. Yeah, no, I see that. Aghi is a singer. Fuck me. Marmite up the bum says, was wondering if you had ever or would ever go on a lad's holiday

together? If not, where would you go? What landmarks, events would you see? If not. Love Marmite. Okay. I was written really strangely, but you understand the question. We were actually talking about at the moment. We've been talking about... I mean, it wouldn't be a

a lad's holiday us three and we've been going on holiday that's four lads going on holiday yeah so right we've talked about

like in the near future I guess the next like year or two going to America on a on a road trip in like a we've tiered it like

the big the big one is America for like two three four weeks five six seven eight weeks two years couple years

five years. So that's a big one, but before that... We want to work our way up to that. We need to do a few more work. We've never been on holiday. We've never gone anywhere of either of us. Even to like small places, we just don't go. Well, I have with Alex.

Excuse my brother. It's like only like last year did we actually start going to restaurants together because we had cars. So now it's like, we've got... And now that we have planes, we're very behind the curve. Yeah, loads of people do that as soon as they leave. school, but we've been building up to it. First, we want to go to Thought Park to test the waters.

I love roller coasters, kind of scared of heights. So we just decided maybe that's... I have irritable bowel syndrome. So we'll do that, see how much shit comes out of Jim's bum bum. Yeah. That's what we're judging of if you can do these holidays is just it, Jim's... How much shit is relieved from my bowel. Yeah.

Then, um, Amsterdam, which is... gonna be a difficult one for me so many hookers to choose from oh god I'm gonna have to do a pick a mix bah ah

at me you're so fucking misogynistic can we talk about that for a second I'm not go on so as everyone knows James is the most conservative member of John oh my god you need to stop saying that

and unsurprisingly he's horrifically misogynistic No. You guys are definitely more than me. You hate women. No. Just admit you get uncomfortable at the idea of a woman being in power of you. Being in power of me? Over you.

I'm actually more comfortable with that than uncomfortable. So you're a cuckold then? No. What that equals, Alex. Mr. If you don't say yes to being ordered... being your order going wrong in McDonald's you're a cuckold I'm Alex so they got my order one and I didn't complain

explain this James you you shot yourself in the foot I didn't do this awful tweet I was sitting in McDonald's you'll let the business cut you by spending money okay this is what this is what it is you can go to McDonald's and buy burger for fucking 99p right that's nothing

if you buy that burger and they get it wrong and you complain, I think that's a bit ridiculous. It's fast food, it's not if they get it wrong. You have a right to. You have a right. As long as you're polite about it, like, whatever.

But it's like, it's McDonald's. It's not, it's not an actual restaurant where you're putting down, you're spending a lot of money. You're buying really cheap, really crap. No, but here's the, here's the difference, though. Say what they got wrong was like they forgot to take the lettuce out or something.

Like, whatever. Yeah, yeah, whatever. For me, that's more effort than it's worth to even complain about. Yeah, that's not what I'm on about. That's why I'm asked. But often the thing they do is they just don't put things in the order. I understand that. But that is, that's not getting the order wrong.

That's not giving you what you pay for. No, that is giving, getting your order. It's a different level to it. I think getting your order wrong is like, they don't put something in it. No, but what if getting the order wrong cost someone their arm? Yep. For example, they have an allergy to the lettuce that they forgot to take out and he touches the lettuce and examples of it.

That's a completely different case that wasn't asked in the original question. It's not going to be a fun question if I just said order wrong. Yeah, that's a wrong order situation. If someone gets your order wrong and you order lettuce and then your arm's going to fall off if they put it in, would you complain or not? Because then the answer is yes, because you've lost your arm. That's going to an extreme of the question. I just asked a basic question. Okay, say, because I was in McDonald's.

In McDonald's... Say they didn't put any fries in your... In the bag. So you're telling me you go... Oh, I guess they forgot them. There you go, big business. Steal my fucking money. No, I...

I wouldn't go get them. Do you know why? Their chips are terrible. I'm better without them. So you'd just get... Okay. Well, I'm pretty sure that's what you did on your birthday this year. And you were like...

No, I got everything I was after. No, you didn't. Someone got your order on. You missed something and you were just like... What was I missing then? something shit it wasn't something that's worth fucking trying to get there you go so yes again I'm right no you're not because you you show herself on a foot it's like you do if I go to an actual restaurant they get more along I'll complain because I'm paying like 15 quid for it for

if I'm buying a three pounds so it's all right for a business to rip you off if it's not expensive what if the most you could afford was McDonald's then I then I completely understand that? I... So you're short your second. No, you're going too deep into my question. I was just curious because I was... No, no, no, no, no, no.

You can just pick and choose which are bad responses. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're making me sound worse than I am. Well, people in the comments, they know. Yeah, they know. They know that Burgh King's the better place, and you should always shop at Burger King because they actually make burgers or go to KS. Yeah. What the?

Okay, now, what was you actually talking about before we talked about me and McDonald's? Nothing I think we exhausted that question No you're just You're pulling at strings lad Is this water? Yes mine Ali B8 says

When will the Patreon goal for James Releasing a Dick Pick be set And for how much I just send me a DM asking for it That's a joke Give me my water back Half a million Um

Uh Seriously how much would you need to be paid to send someone a picture of your willie No not someone at that half a million that's public I wouldn't show me a dick publicly I just not for any amount of money No That's bullshit That is fucking

Too conservative I guess No No it's not No No S That question is shit because it's like if you say to someone oh okay if you say to someone if you say

someone i'll give a million quid to show your dick you're stupid if you don't show your dick no but it's like if someone says i show you dick for a thousand pounds i probably would okay let's say 10 grand yes because i could buy a car with that and i can probably spend a lot put it on the deposit five grand yeah probably okay two and a half grand is this to us one person yeah for one one person yeah Two and a half Yeah 2000

Yeah 1,000 No 1,000 1 and a half thousand No 2,000 First of all I wouldn't want to

Anyway because it's like Nah I have Problems with that And I just don't want to get into that type of stuff So I wouldn't just send My picture of dick to some person even for that much.

So why did you say yes then? Because $10,000 is a completely different story. Who wouldn't? So you're a massive whore then? No. I'd never do it publicly. What if they gave you the $10,000? And then immediately after they just put it on.

No, no, no, no, no, that's not happening. I don't morally agree with that. Yeah, but I mean, I'm saying. Oh, that's why I wouldn't do it For more many That you'd have to get a contract Yeah, I'd sue them Yeah, I'd sue them

If they broke the contract I'd sue them for all the money Yeah, but you'd have to make a contract In the first place And I can unless it's Unless that counts as revenge porn Then you could sue them Exactly

Gave more money That's what I'd do Because I'm not into people Seeing that Because of stuff that happened has happened in my life. Alex hates that, or James hates that question, so...

Well, you, you asked that specifically to me, but I think that's one of everyone. No, that bloke asked you. Okay, what about you? Would you? What, for 10 grand, yeah. Alex? For 10 grand, yes. Okay.

That's fine. Yeah, end of. I ain't going to lie. No, over and I. Who cares? Ten grand is a fuck done. Yeah, it's just a willie. Yes.

Make it ten. Plus a burger. Oh, and we're talking. Yeah, then you're getting fucking feet picks as well. Oh no, because they just have to take a swing of shot of the last jar cast. Because you pulled my socks off. See, you've lost me 10 grand there, Jim. Thanks.

You really, looking out for your bro. Okay, let's do one from Weather Boy. How's it going, my sweet jar family? Taika Wittiti is going to be making. making an Akira adaptation. Do you think his comedic style approach makes her a good fit? I'm sure at least James has seen Akira. I've seen it as well.

I'd like to ask one question. Back to this person. Yeah. What is Akira? James, explain what it is to the uninitiated. It's a set of like six or eight books that have been adapted into a movie and the movie is massively more famous than the book. it's like an animated movie yeah that's in fucking credible the animation is just

insane it's not something you can adapt into real life isn't it's terrible it's gonna be terrible it's one I don't know how they could possibly do it like you can get a few things like the motorcycle scenes you could probably do that's possible for quite a big budget but like everything the whole reason that it was impressive was because it was animated because of how long they spent money they spent on the animation. Like just the same iconic shots just being recreated

in like CG. It's just like the Lion King thing again. But this time with comedy? Yeah, is Akira funny? No. No. It's really dark actually. Do you think Tycho Wittiti's will be funny? I think it'll be terrible.

I don't know. I just have to see a trailer. It's one of those things I can't even imagine until and it's either going to be like, oh, that looks surprisingly not as bad as I was expecting, or it would be like, yep, this is exactly what I was envisioning for... I think it'll be the same thing

with the Cowboy Bebop live adaption. Well, I think that's going to be shit. That is going to be shit. That has way less of a chance of being good. Yeah. What single Netflix adaptation of, like, an anime has it ever been good? They've done a few now, too.

Lava? No, I think... Oh, no. Live action ones, then they've all been shit, but they've actually did an adaption of what? What game was it? Castlevania. Yeah,

the animation that isn't even... Yeah, supposed to be not bad. Well, that will be that then, won't it? Basically, go watch Akira and then forget about it. And how am I supposed to do that, huh? I don't know how to watch Akira. It's on YouTube, I'm pretty sure.

Gebbie has a question for us. By on Blue Way. Support it. Gebby has a question for us. Any particular things? you guys want to see at E3 this year? Half-Life 4. Left for Dead 4. That's a hard question.

Because there's games I want. Well, we're going to see Fire Emblem. The new Fire Emblem, we're going to see. There'll be Animal Crossing stuff. Isn't that game out soon? It's out soon, so there's going to be stuff about it. It's probably getting its own direct or something. Yeah, then you've got Animal Crossing as well.

Maybe they might do something about the new Smash. character maybe yeah things you want to see is the question so yeah minecraft steve and smash yeah I want to see smash because I love smash I just don't play it as much but I just love it because I'm surrounded by you guys is love for it

maybe like a are we talking about like things we'd love to see that have not been announced so new things anything I reckon anything for me three obviously I want to see what Halo Infinite looks like Yeah, that would be nice.

Do you think you will? I reckon there'll be another trailer. I think we'll know by the end of E3 if advanced mobility is going to be in it or not. Yeah. Apparently, Microsoft, I saw in a tweet, they said they've got the most first-party stuff to show than they've ever had before.

Right. I don't know if that's a good thing. I'd like to see more info about. the new um obsidian game that we've only had one trailer for but I'd also want to know

one of the outer worlds out of worlds but because that's obviously not exclusive that's just a game they've been making for quite some time I want to see something new from them now that they're with Microsoft so I want to see some exclusive maybe something

just like a trailer of something new maybe they're working on like CGI trailer like not actual just something an announcement for yeah something by them would be pretty good there's not much I care about in like the gaming world at the moment PlayStation isn't going to be there is it

no they're not going to be there no why not quite nice they're doing their own thing do you think we'll see a console no yeah really I think they're probably ready for it now there's been a lot I've been reading a lot of stuff about the PlayStation 5 and Xbox one two

what what if any what which would you buy I don't know because neither of them have been unveiled I'm not gonna

going from this generation well that's not fair not not Xbox if you did that same thing at the end of the 360 PS3 one then you would have just said

I guess 360 but then everything flipped around because the Xbox one so that means the smart thing to do would uh would be to wait until

like a year into the next generation yeah I don't see myself buying but the new console comes out you know when they get announced when they come out next year maybe I'm not going to buy it because as we learn with the previous generation you spend so much money up front and within a year the console's falling apart

because it's just how crap it was at launch I just wouldn't I wouldn't put down like 600 plus pound on new console no I the thing with the this generation that we're in. The games that came out on release of it were fucking

pitiful. There was only one good game on the release of both consoles and that was like the new FOSA because that was like... There was nothing, there was no like Breath of the Wild or anything I heard. No. There was nothing. But there was nothing for a long time. NAC? Yeah. I spent the first like two

years of that generation launch playing Faza, that's it. Didn't play any other game. Well, I didn't buy one for a while but I just play Killer Instinct. That was the best game for me. That was a launch game as well. Yeah. And it was free. That's incredible. And they fucked up the MCC.

Mm-hmm. They fucked up Halo 5. It wasn't like anything that crazy. Mm-hmm. It wasn't really until God of War. God of War. It changed everything. And then Spider-Man. Yeah. And then, you know, post those two, there's been quite a few good games. Yeah. I don't know. We'll have to wait and see on that one.

I just, I tried to get out of the whole console stuff now. You know, I've got PC, I just don't really want to... I do find PC much preferable. Because then it's like, you don't care about anything else, you just care about the games. So if you need to do something to run those games, that's what you do. It makes me more interested in like EA

Ubisoft. Do Activision have their own thing? Yes. Activision as well then. Yeah. It's like, I just hate all the games those studios make. They're the only games I really play. I don't play any of the exclusives anymore.

Activision game is Sakura. An upcoming modern warfare? Shit, yeah. Yeah, we'll probably see Modern Warfare gameplay. Fuck sake. So confusing. It is. They've done something

so fucking done with it. They recently released Modern Warfare remastered like two years ago and then they're releasing their reboot in that franchise. Yeah. So what happens in like seven years and they remastered, one warfare remastered? they remaster the remake

it's just such a valuable IP isn't it yeah whatever hopefully hopefully it's actually a good cod because the recent ones

have just been gone awful I care the multiplayer needs to get away from this advanced mobility stuff it just needs to be I thought they did that though they did with backups

they've done that so I need to get away from that they will because it's it's monomoffer it just needs to be simple classic I swear this is the card cycle every time It is

And we're gonna complain about it when it comes out So it's fine It's like We need to go back to blank So then when they do go back to blank Then it does really well But then the problems of that one are huge as well So then it starts again

So as long as it's not the same No because obviously modern warfare The original modern warfare Changed everything Yeah And then the sequel to that was just the World War II thing. That changed everything.

Yeah, which everyone was down for because it was like, yeah, they're going back to their roots. No, because they'd only gone away from their roots for one game. So it wasn't a big deal. I think we're talking about a different one. No, at launch, people really didn't like the fact that World War II was going back to World War II. They wanted it to be...

What, Call of Duty, World War II? No, it came out like a couple years ago. World at War. People were upset. I'm not talking about that one. Well, no, but you're talking about Codd saying it... No, I'm going in the timeline of when they... came out but you're saying that they yeah now in the last like five years no no but what you just said is they were upset and I was saying people were pleased when like

the World War II one was announced to be World War II yeah that one like the idea of that but that one wasn't good that's what I mean sledgehammer made it it wasn't a good cod that's the problem that the campaign was just garbage sledgehammer have never made a good cod no there's only one good cod studio in a try arc and they're not doing Did you see this stuff about They've put forward the next black ops Because they like cancelled the sledgehammer one that was in development Really?

So now the next black ops has a year less of development Uh-oh Black Ops 4 I never played But it really seemed like it just didn't have enough content They put too much into the blackout mode Yeah We spent too long on game bullshit now anyway I'm excited for modern warfare

You're the only one No I'm pretty sure everyone's I can't like about it If I'm seeing it on Facebook Alex If I'm seeing it on Facebook People are pretty pleased about it One of the Jacks says Why do you eat your kebabs with a knife and fork

Why would you do that Buck up your ideas and eat it with your hands Like real lads I'm so disappointed that I might have to remove my Patreon pledge Unless you provide me with a good answer How can you pick up a fucking kebab? You must have... The pitter's at the bottom, and it's not even in the pitter.

It's just on top of it. You're going to pick up, and it's going to go fucking everywhere. You'd have to eat it like a caveman. Maybe other cabab shops are more stingy, but Sammy, he piles that shit on. And then sauce at the end, and it's just like a fucking mountain. Sammy goes fucking hard. Like, you can't... If you close...

If you open a lid, it fucking goes over, because it's... fucking jam-packed. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure other kabab places, they cut the pit and put it in it. Sammy just throws the pit at the bottom to absorb all the fucking sauce. And then you get the juicy treat at the bottom.

It's like a dessert. Yeah. So obviously if it was like a burger-type deal where you could use your hands, we would use our hands. Yeah, obviously. I would love it then. But Sammy does it different.

But why do you think Sammy's so popular? Because he just, he knows the fucking cabas. He's got his own zone. Yeah. His ozone, if you will. You just can't pick it up. With all the sauce. sauce on top, you would...

No, it's not one thing. It's impossible. Your mum, 791 asks, if you were a writer for the Funkopop movie, what would the plot be? So, the Alex the Lion Funko Pop, the... The Deadpool Funkopop.

Uh-huh. And... No, it'd be... The Venom on... Gloria Funko Pop. Which would... Wouldn't be one that already exists, but would be created for the movie. No, no, what you want to do is it would be...

You know, it'd be this like, um, Coliseum, but all these bad guys and good guys are fighting. And then this giant floating ball in the sky shoots at all the people, makes tons of them into funco pops. And then they all have to join together to make themselves... Bar-bought, they have to be sold to humans. No, but then they have to join together to try and make themselves, you know, normal again. that's my one here's the most likely plot of that movie it's actually a thing yeah oh what's been

developed um picture this there's like a funcop pop world but there's like a mcuffin like some powerful device that like an evil funkopop character no make it be like some of the suicide squad thanos like a bunch of villain funco pops like the most obvious shit like the the the the enemy from Game of Thrones like the Night King have the Night King be in there all of these famous villains from the past few years they steal something it opens like a portal sucks a bunch of funco pops into

drum roll please the real world so then you have James Marston and he's just doing some gardening and the portal opens near him boom boom boom boom boom boom a bunch of funcos for flying into his garden then you get the classic scream scream scream scream and then have the you know the slow realization of what's happening and then Deb pool pop pop vinyl talking to James Marsden and you know just antics in the real world we got to get back to our world while Harley Quinn and the suicide squad and Thanos are trying to be evil and then

and then they fail, and that's why we've got funkopops in the world. If they really wanted to go hardcore with the ending, yes. It will be something like that, trust me. No, there'll be an O.C. There'll be an original funkopopop-funk-pop. Yeah, so they can sell it. That's disturbing. That's the O.C. Funkop.

Because I've never seen that design before. Must be an O.C. Dianna B.B. can end this cast. Worst American pop song. Baby by Justin Bieber? That's an original one. Little Nash, Old Town Road. No, fuck you.

That's not the worst pop song of all time. No, it's... I think it's that Taylor Swift song. Really? Bad blood. No, not bad blood. Look what you make... what you mean you do.

I think that's one of the worst songs ever, ever conceived. Yeah, that's bad. What about that Katie Perry song, Jim? Yeah, never over, never really over. Yeah. How does it go?

I literally don't even con it. It just came out, and it has the worst chorus from any songs ever. Just because it's over does I mean it's really, I mean, it's really, it actually sounds like that as well it legit does i'll play it after this but it is so fucking bad go on the video and dislike it on youtube james give us a proper answer and take us home i can't remember any murking pop songs my sake dog so beat it by michael jackson

hey you can't say that word here Well, thanks for listening or watching. Episode 169. Sex. Mouth sex. 69 plus 100 equals... This episode. Baugh!

Thanks for watching. Thanks for supporting us. And we'll see you. On the next Angry Joe show. Thanks for watching, guys. Thank you.