JAR Media Posdact - LIES of P

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 09:27 Housekeeping 29:17 Forced Gears of War: E-Day Hate 51:21 Mid Break 52:39 Questions: Endgame is now NO 1 EVER! 1:01:55 How to deal with uncertainty 1:07:01 P & A 1:07:31 Last Exciting Tech 1:12:32 Star Wars Galactic Racer Glups go HARD 1:15:19 'A Month' Anger 1:16:34 How to best be NEET 1:18:30 Unfunny Safe Word 1:20:00 Telegram Babes Update 1:43:05 Patron Names Oct 2026 #BroCastS8E3

Delve into the deep end. I hate when your voice goes like that. When a fart becomes a poo, baby. When a fart becomes a poo, what you gonna do? Cry. Fucking cry. Yeah. I had this weird feeling yesterday, like, the feeling of, like, a poo just poking out.

A turtle just peering out. But it wasn't. It was, this is the weird thing. It felt like there was. But it wasn't. Yeah. It was just a feeling. It was just like a phantom.

You know, like a phantom pain. Like maybe I'd done like a one that my body was like, you're not, it's not over yet, you know. You're not alone. Yeah. So it's the P. P. P. Just O-O-O-Cloze.

H-A-N-T-O-M? Or is it E-M-F-M-T-M? Oh. P... Or N-A. No, N-T-A, Fanta. P-Fanta flavor. Limited edition.

Fanta-P-P-Flaver. They do one of those, like... It's like a brown one and it's like, oh, what flavor is. Yeah. Is this finally Fanta Cola? What? It tastes like my poo-poo.

It tastes like my poo-poo that I taste all the time. This is what? It sounds like when we record it, nine in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. Business hours. Everyone's hard at work. Yeah.

Traveling to the office. Yep. What's Gary going to say in the office today, motherfucker? I hope Gary doesn't give me shit again. I hope Gary doesn't stink up the shitter again. I hope Gary's wearing his shreddies again. If you were HR for your office job and you had to, you're managing Gary and you, and Gary like never washes and like, smells so bad. I say keep up the good work.

Like what kind of work is he putting in? Does he suck at his job? He's really good at his job. He's like holding everything together. Yeah, yeah. He should be like paid triple. Yeah, but he's being underpaid, overworked. Yeah.

And he smells like actual hours. But he's always on time. Always on time. He's been there for like 20 years. Yeah. Doesn't want anything more or less. I'd maybe, like, is this an office type situation? Yeah.

I'd maybe... Everyone has to be around the stench. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'd say to him, look, you're kind of the goat, but... But you smell like an actual goat right now. You smell like the goat. Worse. Goat smell nice.

So either, either smell nice, or we'll design, like, a smell vacuum chamber office cubicle so he can work and not disturb or get everyone else like masks like gas mask type thing yeah make them the problem yeah we're working around gary here yeah he's he is the business no gary there's no gary there's no uh all of this okay no gary fucking get your diet on get to work in this together yeah if you're rolling around in the dirt I'll be in the dirt with you typed up and ready for the dirt yeah yeah oh good after new morning evening or night ladies and gents and welcome to broadcast season 8 episode 3 I'm Alex joined by Jim hello just everything's normal at the moment nothing too meant yeah kind of ordinary back to ordinary i guess back to normality yeah unfortunately unfortunately even though it's scary month we're allowed to be a little bit scary yeah you know i've

been feeling more scared than scary as of late well you've got to do something about that you got to you gotta you gotta go gary style yeah like autonomy and um stanch stench stench that's how you like lash out at the world when you're you're you're have no control so it's like okay i choose when i wash and i don't really like doing it it's an obligation that's annoying so i'm not gonna yeah i'm going gary style gary's out there listening like what the hell man yeah what the fuck what did i do yeah fuck you gary i shower twice a day doesn't smell like it gaz sorry gas man sorry gaz but you kind of just think of shit dude

Get some shreddies, my guy. Before we get too deep into the show, let me shout out the Jarmedia patrons over the Patreon that make the show an audio version possible. You get the raw, unfiltered MP3. Add free, you can put on your RSS feed, host of choice. Like Xbox.com, like PlayStation.com,

or Nintendo.com. Did I mention that we're the number one? Um... Cugs. Is that 9 o'clock fog? Yeah, is that 9 o'clock fog? I wanted to say Assassin's Creed podcast, but I'd already done that. Oh.

When? And then I wanted to say, like, oh, years ago. I used to open the cast saying it was like the biggest, the number one blank podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say Crimson Desert podcast. Oh, okay, yep. But I just blanked on the name. Let's go with Assassin's Creed again.

pre i was thinking about that with like um i'm really good with remembering faces and i used to be able to remember like random actors names and stuff but like i just don't have the bandwidth anymore it's like oh i know that face uh i don't know who the fuck they normally with with actors for me it's like oh i know them because they're in this and this and this and this and i remember like all the films and tv shows and stuff but i won't remember the actor yeah yeah yeah but that's a good thing i think I think celebrity as God type culture is bad for, um, bad for Gaz. Yeah, that's bad for Gaz. But just when you're talking about movies, it's kind of handy to be able to pull out like a random actor.

Okay, pull out a random actor. Oh, the cheese string fucking guy. The cheese string, yeah. Good pull, good pull. The baby belt. And just cheese characters. The laughing cow that's now serious.

Is the laughing cow serious? I only saw the buildup to the publicity stunt. I didn't actually see what the like, like what cause that is no longer laughing. Just that people were upset. Like after October 7th, the laughing cow stopped laughing. I don't know if it is.

I do it because I'm seriously at a point with Twitter now where I'm like, every time I look at it, I'm like, why? It feels like self-harm. Yeah. It's like, what am I even getting from this? Yeah. Especially with how it relates to Gears of War, which I'll get onto shortly.

But, yeah, Patreon. You get your names read out in the first or second week of each month, if you're a debautee or above. That's not all. You've got it, after hours. Supplementary weekly show we've been doing. The Arkham versus... The Arkham Asylum versus City. master debate

that's a fan favorite we did a fucked up creepy pasta reading just in time for the scary month with the Mario 3 whistle bullshit um

Paisley's chance Paisley's chance is the big one the one people sign up for to delve into the deep end I hate when your voice goes like that it's like clear your goddamn right I just like riding it out

I don't like it because it like it sounds uncomfortable sorry yeah there's a whole 100 plus videos on there all sorts of variety content maybe something Xbox related next time we'll see

and last but not least the journal media group chat it's group chat motherfucker yeah um also if you start um if you if you if you pledge um

a thousand British pounds to us a month for 12 months we will play a game of basketball with you yeah no matter where you are yeah yeah

well no they've got to come to us oh right like play it in the garden yeah and it'll just be like one of these like little nets and not even like a grown-up one like an eight-year-old

like version yeah yeah it'll be a ball that's like that big or one of those ones that you have in your bedroom and we were so Velcro. Yeah, over the bin. Yeah.

Let's do some housekeeping then unless you want to fucking just throw it all to the... No, I've already gone over my phantom poop. Cool. Not the typical kind of phantom poop, though. Phantom bupani. You know, sometimes you sit on the toilet poop

and somehow it has so much velocity it shoots through the U-Band. You know, you poop, you feel poop. And then like you white. weapons and it's gone. The one that's just like smear like perfect. No, nothing. Like totally phantom.

And then you're like, did I even poop? But this isn't that type of phantom poop. Kind of the inverse type of phantom poop. More a phantom pain type poop. Phantom pain poop. But it didn't hurt. Yeah. Anyway.

While you're describing that, I just completely stopped listening and was like, imagining what it would take to if you had like a really full bladder. Like, how long it would take to flush every droplet individually? What do you mean? As you're like being. Like, you have to stop and just do one droplet at a time so your bladder's empty. That would take a while. If you had a really full bladder, that would take fucking ages.

Yeah, that's the kind of thoughts. Yeah, good thought. See, you need to verbalise those kind of thoughts. That's what I was thinking, yeah. Yeah, I got to stop. You can't, like, that's the kind of, um, you know, these are the ideas that we... Okay, fucking meta can get us going here. We're talking about tattoos.

Yes. You know, talking about how you wanted a big mouth tattoo, a hormone monster left, hormone monster right. Yeah. Yeah, I've been debating, like, does the male one go on the left or the right? Yeah. Where does Nick go, most importantly? Yeah.

And the messed up, like, old hormone monster. Oh, yeah. You can be like right above your ass cheeks. Yeah. The tattoo talk is absolutely creasing me. As a Tasco Jarling, I see a whole lot of bad tattoos on my customers. One that stood out to me the other day was a Mickey Mouse Funko Pop displayed proudly on the guy's forearm. Had to hold in a laugh for that one.

For me, it's always the portraits that like really get me, you know? Yeah. Like when it's like, I've seen many a church. virtual on the back of the leg. Oh my God. Or the queen. I've seen the queen before. Like a bulldog that's all like stretched and fucked up.

No, and like people that get family members. You know, it's like they always look fuck. Just don't do it. Yeah, well like a simplified version maybe. Like a cartoon. Like a Simpsons version of it. Or like a South Park type. Yeah, this is part.

Pops Simpsonsized. Yeah. Yeah. This is Pop Popps synthesized. My pops love Family Guy. This is him in Family Guy style. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Like the new Ted show. It just looks like Family Guy. Have you seen that? Yeah, yeah, with the kid. No, there's an animated show that's coming out. Oh, for fuck sake. No, I haven't seen it. I'm a bear now.

Why is... Who likes Ted? I'm gonna be real. I've seen some clips of the... TV show and they're kind of funny in the same way that family guy like random clips are every now and again i don't think i could watch the whole thing yeah i liked um there's that joke about the the indian kid like when he's going into school i don't know that's pretty funny the kids from ted yeah the kids like um yeah we had this new indian kid in um but they got him and then ted's like what what does that

mean and he's like i liked him too he was a nice guy right yeah it's like every flip i've seen is similar like just non-cyclatives like that yeah um yeah yeah he's he's got a schick but fuck me he cannot make movies seth mcfarlane he he doesn't understand how to make a movie i watched ted i've seen like five fucking times everyone has seen ted a hundred times why and i don't know i've never liked it and i've watched it like he's got a bong he's a teddy bear but And the CG is weirdly good. Yeah, it is weirdly good. But, um...

It's a funny film, it's a good film. Yeah, what was your point? How good the TED series is. Yeah. You can't wait for animated family guy. Yeah. No, like, who likes Ted? Who...

Everyone. We just said everyone's seen it 100 times because of how fucking awesome and funny it is. No, everyone's seen it, but nobody likes it. My favorite bit is when, um... It's like the only thing I remember from the first Ted is like, sorry, I was checking Twitter. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because we joked about that fucking like 10 years ago. Sorry, I crashed my car. I was on Twitter. Yeah. I was on X type thing. Yeah. I was sending a tweet back. Has Elon been on Family Guy yet?

Hi, guys. I'm here to be kind of funny with you guys. Your Elon fashion is getting really good. Should we just talk about how bad billionaire is. Billionaires are. Everyone would love that. Yeah. Guys, Elon Musk, not great. Give me two hours on why Elon Musk sucks. Yeah. I could do two hours on why the Elon Musk episode of The Simpsons is actually kind of good.

Yeah, we should do a fake video essay. In defense of the Elon Simpson's episode. It's going to be more salacious than that. Maybe that can become a niche. about Elon Musk Simpsons or something Yeah, not the guy But the episode of Simpsons That's like Elon Musk Simpsons

Yeah Simpsized Elon is actually Gated Um No, this could be our niche We could like do video essays on all the celebrity cameos On the Simpsons Why you're wrong about the Lady Gaga

episode And just have like the Simpsonsized Lady Gaga there Yeah Yeah We could like um We could like go animate Put her on the sofa Like

Oh like Simpsons eyes Are avatars and have them Oh shit yeah Yeah yeah With um Simpsonized Billy Elish as well Simpsonized

Who else has been on it The guy from Ricky Gerve Has Ricky Gerve been Yeah he wrote a whole episode And he's in it Really? Do you don't remember that one

It was like a big deal At the time It's a really Maybe Forgettable episode do you yeah dude i noticed like i was watching the simpsons lately and i was like laughing really i was laughing was it the rickie go they no and then um whose name pops up in the credits at the end conan epstein no yeah Conan um and i i genuinely think he's kind of the goat the comedy goat

Yeah, he's a brilliant writer. His jokes are fucking fantastic. He's funny as fuck. Yeah. Yeah, nice one, Cohn. Conan the Barbear. Cohn and the Ted Bear. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Well, speaking of Ted and family guy, Foxy Grandpa says, the Zvihanter isn't associated with fascism, thankfully. but if you're worried get the Dark Souls 1 version is technically based off Montante the medieval Spanish equivalent of the Zway Can you do a Spanish accent for that please?

Montauteau That was Italian Montaante They're allowed to say things Weapons What's the most weaponized accent? Montainte Russian

Yeah Even their language is a weapon excuse meegisu montante nos grotid mr letter we should Mr letter

I've been looking for you Mr. Letter letter We should make like a John Wick style sort of movie franchise Mr. Letter Letter Yeah

I've already got this design kind of in my head trench coat trench coat dungies reflective glasses anime hair yeah um

you can see like the outline of his cock in like yeah really tight jeans from like 2015 but he's he's got like a micro

but like a really huge like ball outline yeah yeah enormous balls I'm obsessed with that idea like huge balls tiny penis

I just love that. I'm obsessed in what way? In every way. I'm looking at all. In every way, dude. Everywhere. You've got every different AI model.

Like research. Yeah. What's the data? Generate me, make the ball. Hey, AI, make the left ball three inches more swollen than the right. Yeah.

Also move the patch of hair a bit more north facing. A patch. That's fucking awful. Only Grock can get it right. Yeah, Grog's been practicing. That's good news about the Zviya Hander, though. I don't know where I want it, though.

Because the thing is, I kind of long term. I kind of want a sleeve. A weapon sleeve, so you're a Terminator. No. No. I want to get Terminator glasses tattooed onto my sleeve. face. Around your eyes.

Yeah. And I want to get some like eye surgery. So I've got like a red Terminator eye, just one. That would be cool. Um, but yeah, I, I kind of want a sleeve. So I need to, to like keep one arm clean, I guess. And then the other one have more like patchy. I don't know.

Mm. So what? and that lot are going to be on that arm then. Yeah, like a life like Mark Wahlberg on my bicep, Ted on the trie. Yeah, so when you flex, they like laugh. Yeah. And a bong here so I can like flex and then

Ted's taking a hit. That's clever shit, man. Yeah. That's fucking intelligent thinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I consider these things. Well, Fruit Toot gave us $2 in a comment. Wow.

So Gladsey Alex is taking the effort of keeping Crazy Frog's Ding-Ding censored. Thou rather dreadful how PC we have to be. Back in my day, Crazy Frog could be Full Hog on basic child-friendly cable television all across the US in a ringtone ad. Yeah. Times change. Crazy Frog full hog. Crazy hog. Crazy goddamn hog.

That reminds me. I'm pretty sure I noted down... a title yeah this one has to be called Liza P oh yeah you know yeah yeah that's too good of a name yeah that yeah yeah Liza P yeah we'll get into that shortly but Barry Lang said this is my version of being trapped in Silent Hill I guess of course because the frog came back yeah well you know what um if that's if that's your silent hill, then you've had a pretty good life.

Yeah. You know? It's something kind of goated and fresh and unique and, uh, you know, genuine, uh, outside of the fact where if you listen to the podcast once, it doesn't matter. It could be a micro, a millisecond. Yep. Could be one singular millisecond, a fraction of a millisecond, just a, but, then it, it unlocks the ability

so when you go into a bathroom and go to a mirror if you say P's full name three times fucked up shit happens yeah really fucked up shit the worst

just yeah I'm serious if you're listening or what do not do that yeah you're fucked if you are yeah I've not done it I've got to two but I couldn't do the third And even then some weird shit started happening. Really?

Yeah. They call it the lies of pee. There you go. You got it in. Now it's legal. Chris Pancake says, Jim got peep show jazz life coach vibes. This must be Therapes Jim.

Yeah, that is Therapy's Jim's kind of vibe. Yeah. No, I'll take that as just my vibe in general. Sure. Life coach vibes. Yeah. I feel like I'd make a good life coach. Is it a real thing? Yeah. We should become life coaches officially.

Yeah. It's a common thing in like, L.A. type. Oh, but some of these people in L.A. are the luckiest motherfuckers. You know? Oh, yeah. You're just like Matthew McConaughey's neighbor. Yeah. And you're just bumpings him and you're like, oh, they look, they're looking for a life. coach per chance?

Yeah. Yes, I have. I can't do Michael, whatever he's called. No, that sounded just like him. Yeah, sure I have. You bump into the fucking rooster coffee. Is Woody Harrison there as well? Of course they are their brothers.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like we give Woody Harrelson and what's his name? Benjamin. Benjamin Button? No, the, the, the, one you just did an impression of. Matthew McConaughey.

I always want to call him Ben. He does gonna have a Ben-like face. He's got a Ben face. But yeah, I feel like you're kind of the Benjamin and I'm like Woody. Really? Yeah. Because you're like,

you're like, um... I would think the other way around, to be honest. Really? Why do you mean? Like, what's your argument? Well, do you remember in the, in the monkey movie? when the monkeys revolt

and Woody's like, not on my watch. That's me. And you're like, you're like, oh, whatever. You tried. Well, Sandy Cheek says,

I'm so sorry, Alex, but it's not pronounced geiler monster. It's more like healer monster. Then I call it the gina monster. Yeah, was the Jailer. Did I see Jaila, Gila? What are you talking about, man?

I don't know, lizard farms. Cloudwave says JAR Media is the digger of podcasts. The movie, the fantastic movie that is doing really well. I'm going to be real. Ever since I saw it, I can't stop thinking about it. Really? I think it actually has a couple of the best shot slash scenes of the year so far. Wow.

Really? Yeah, it's actually kind of brilliant Really? Yeah Hell yeah What a compliment then Yeah Thank you so much And Kendall Roy replied to that saying

I thought it was more the splice of podcasts I resent that I don't accept that We're digger A lanslide has occurred Yeah, we're digging Matt very cool says the day we get AVP month will be the culmination of over a decade of jar story.

Hmm. That's clever. Yeah that is clever. Alvin versus P. Yeah, AVP. It's like we planned it or something. There's a lot of thinking slash planning going on. Yeah. You okay? Don't you hate when you just get that sometimes? When you're, you just feel for a brief moment that you're an inch from death. Yeah, it's like, you know this you know like you would know the second after you die you go like yeah yeah yeah yeah ha ha you're like death sound like you're in the sky room or something or if it's dark souls it's like um

no it's like oh yeah they are really like sensual yeah oh oh oh oh like squashes you. Yeah. Under its asshole. Yeah. Oh. And I can't believe this keeps happening,

but Oster Morse can end this segment by saying, you did this thumbnail idea already for the episode, the cheekies vector. But instead of pee, it was angry Joe. Yeah, it's like the exact same fucking image. I went and looked. It's a good idea though. I think it's fresh and neat.

It's different enough where it's like, it's kind of like that new version of Avengers, you know, where it's like, no, it was always this, actually. What do you mean new version of Avengers? The game. The game. Yeah, the game.

Yeah, the square. The new, no, the fucking film. The end game re-release. Oh, right. You know, where they put like Spider-Man going, Yo, Ned Booty Clap now What booty clap? What?

He said, yo, something. Oh, okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Is Ned in that one? He's not an endgame, is it? Yeah, he is. He's in all of the Avengers.

When's he an end game? He's in the first Avengers. He goes, I'm back, motherfuckers. I don't fucking know. Is he going to be revealed to be like, um, Dr. Doom's son or something

He is Dr. Dean. Yeah. Who's not? What? What? Are you fucking for real, brother? You got out your system now? Okay.

We do so. Unsta Wisha, vischa, can we just can we do a whole podcast In Star Wars language at some point. Oh, that's it. Me's a fucking dunga.

So I want to talk about Gizwar a little bit. Oh, fuck. Gisward you day, because... Like, you know what happened with the Odyssey? Well, like, before it was out, everyone was like... This is... This is the most woke shit ever. No, they were more like...

They were layering at the bit to... Yeah. Try and bring down the Odyssey. And the target kind of just moves with like the breeze. And the target has laid its eyes on Gis War I-Day. Yeah. And the hate I'm seeing for it online is like so fucking unhinged. And it's like, I'm just sick of this happening with so many things where then it becomes like, so that now, because of you fucking assholes with these bizarre complaints, if you have any legitimate feedback, it gets a lot of.

lumped in yeah um specifically there's one character that people are like honing in on um mug what was the name again mug marge mug it is mug it is mug what actually is it dug no it's mug it's not a character called mug and then he gives yeah there is marge no mug no i've got to search it up because you're confusing me. It's mags. That's it mags, yeah, like a gun, gun bag. Sorry for saying mug, okay?

Um, yeah, so she's woke. Yeah. So the issue is that not only is she gay, but she's, like, I don't know what race she is, like mixed race or something.

I don't really give her fuck, to be honest, but that's like an issue, I guess. Yeah, she's not white, okay? Or at least, like, the white supremacists wouldn't accept her in their claim. Right. You know? That's enough to be upset.

Like, if there's a person that wouldn't be allowed into the KKK, then people get upset. Then gamers get fucking pissed off. Yeah. And for the record, what, we've played, we're on the second act, so we're not exactly far in. No. We did get to the inhaler scene with her, though.

Uh-huh. And I was thinking about this, because, like, people have. really like upset about her using an inhaler. She's got rust lung, which is like a gears of war illness. Right. And I was thinking, if they just gears of war redesigned

the inhaler, is that all it would take if they made it like bad ass and over the top? It's like that. It's like the size of... And it like attaches around her leg and goes like for something. Would people actually be kinder to it? Is it like the imagery?

Yeah, maybe. And so many people are just like, high school coded where it's like what the fuck they've got asthma loser lame yeah and also like

is it I'm trying to figure out what it is it is it the fact that she's not like traditionally bangable is that why because I've seen a lot of complaints to people like

well she's not hot like they're used to be in years of war the thing is is it the fact it is a woman and the fact they're gay yeah no but like what what people online perceive as bangable like in video games it's like you you would never even

be in the same room as someone that looks like that you know oh like uh like the stellar blade like yeah woman or something yeah i mean obviously like proportionally they're just fucking insane they couldn't exist to begin with but like like who who in the original gears was like oh i i really want to fuck marcus it was one of the things i always kind of like is or how like hideous everyone is yeah even like because it's a prequel it's like going back and showing young marcus he's still like fucking idiotous like yeah yeah he's the least hideous he's ever been and he's still pretty fucking ugh um they seem to have um beautified dom a bit

which I'm not crazy about because he was pretty ugly in the originals yeah he's like a puppet dog now yeah every time he talks

his eyes glisten and you just want to give him a little kiss on the neck but yeah yeah it's it's insane also like Gears of War I don't think you should want to bang anyone

yeah the games are not like sexual at all they never have been yeah yeah pretty much um so like if it's not i've seen a lot of complaints about there being there's like a flag customization customization option in the game where you can choose like many different countries flags as well as at the very bottom of the list a bunch of like pride related stuff um so the fact that that's an option then that it's in there

means that it's like a an agenda type yeah yeah even though they were in gears four and five no one gave a fuck there's more complaints over this mag's character than there was for the female protagonist in five I don't remember anyone really giving a fuck in 2019 it wasn't really even a conversation was it

as well as like I guess she was more typically attractive more I guess more slight I guess I can't figure out like how much of it is like brain-broken people how much of it is like bots how much of it is yeah just like people flaring up the algorithm or whatever like as my asman gold is talking about it yeah i mean of course

he um he's jumping on everything like that to but it's like uh clip farm there were women in all of them ania was in the first one she like gave instructions yeah yeah comms or whatever which now is like people said the same thing about that james bond game where it's like what there's a woman on those computer that's impossible can't take orders from a woman um and like I was thinking like

okay so do you remember in that Dragon Age game that came out that had like the worst characters of all time the worst characters of all time and like actually was like okay you're doing this side no favors by like this writing and like yeah yeah it's like bad it's like it's like cringy

so I was like oh is it like that kind of level or something with this mouse character and even though I haven't finished it people are upset about the fact that the character is a lesbian which you only learn through her looking at a picture no one says anything and then she puts it away and it's never verbalized once in the entire game like her sexuality as far as i'm aware that's the only way like blink and you miss it yeah right but like that outrage in that fucking pixel movie light year where there was like in the background like Yeah, yeah, so they could edit it out for channel.

Yeah. Like a genuine, like, if you look down at your phone for two seconds. Well, literally, if you blank. Yeah. And that was like a whole... I didn't even spot it when I watched it, but I was watching it on my phone. And I didn't finish it. It's trash film.

Why did I even start on film? Yeah, I don't know. It's awful film. Yeah, terrible. But, yeah, there was like a weird non-traversy about that as well. Yeah. When it's like, what... So, make me understand when Dom...

who is himself like a minority right yeah they're if I'm a dom find a coltrane but now if there was a new character is it the fact as a woman is it a fact

the racial it can't just be a racial minority because that's always been a big part of Geiz yeah there's always been like a mixture of people including like there's an old woman character that was like really popular and people liked no one complained about yeah yeah um she has like gray dreads

gears there was 50% of the playable characters were women. No one gave a fucking. No one ever told them. No, I think a core thing is Gears 5 came out before 2020. Yeah. People have been way radicalized since COVID. And I guess Gears 3 was pre-Gamergate.

That's really like... Was it permanently ruined? Yeah. Video game shit online. Yeah. So it's just like... I saw a clip of like burnt peanut. like freaking out over

it was one of the early cutscenes where like the commander is like a woman as well remember that character she's barely done anything in the story so far but yeah yeah I just like

I just like what the fuck is the problem it's insane it's just it's like and all these people stand up I said this when we were playing

but all these people um are like, oh, they're trying to, they're trying to squash our free speech and they're, like, trying to make being a man bad. It's like, well, they're just telling a story that features like a lesbian and that upsets you. There's nothing about, like, that's what I don't understand from, like, a... And they're, they're the ones trying to destroy free speech. They're the ones that get upset anytime. time.

So I guess their take is like when, because Dom like looks at a picture of Maria and his family or his brother, whatever. That's not woke. Because it's a straight relationship. Yeah, because he fucks her purse.

But if, if this was the first Gears game and it came out, would Dom be a chud? Be interpreted as being like a woke conclusion. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And it's like, it means like you can't really talk about.

about um because geese has always had like flimsy or weak characters in it it's never been like it's like a fucking cartoon so maybe that character's just not cartoonish enough i don't know where they go with it how seriously they take it yeah yeah like there's a reason everyone loves coltrane yeah that's just a fucking cartoon that's probably my main criticism of the the game so far is that like eternally it doesn't quite seem to get it i think this has been a thing with coalition the whole way through they don't quite get that tone, you know? They're like, they take it a little bit more seriously.

They take it more, but like, I like it being taken seriously, but it's the, the balancing of like the jokes and the seriousness. Yeah, yeah. No, I get what you're saying. And again, early days, you know what happens. We've, I've had one session on the game. Yeah. You know, and played throughout one.

Mm-hmm. like that so i don't know heaps and it's it's not like defending this new character for the sake of defending them because like if the character sucks then fine but yeah but i'm it just seems wildly inconsistent because it's like yeah what in in gears three there was that character um sam um not even the woman character the one voice by uh michael b jordan Oh shit, yeah That was Michael B Jordan Yeah

What the fuck Isn't that really weird I didn't know that What the hell Yeah Like that's not as memorable Or strong character But like

Yeah he's like The Dom replacement right So yeah He's kind of there just for gameplay purposes Yeah Like he's not like a fleshed out character There's like nothing memorable about him Yeah

But I guess because of the time period it came out Then you could talk about that reasonably And it wouldn't be like now if that came out I guess him being there would be woke because it's a black dude yeah like what is the

it's just so like insane and like I was looking through um like Hotaku unfortunately wrote an article they've got like no bill at this point and they just kind of make shit about like rage baiting stuff like right they made an article

Gizwar has always had women in it um which you can imagine what the response has been. But I guess replies like never has been as hideous women like the ones in E-Day. Stop lying. It's unbelievable, man. It's just like such a non-issue to me. It's like...

I know. The people that are people, the argument is, like some people are upset that there are features missing, which is fair enough. that's not an issue to complain about that but they're saying I've seen too many people say they've included their priority has been to include

wokeness thus features are missing because that's where their priority is right where it's just like and people go to the dev videos and shit and if there's any woman on it

especially if it's a woman with dyed hair then like the fucking virtually receive It's disgusting, man Yeah, it's like you almost have to be completely anonymous When you're like it's so like weirdly vicious and just like Why why is this thought process even going through your head when you're like Engaging with this stuff and it reminds me a little bit of like

Because yeah 2020 This becoming a real thing the review bombing thing being weaponized the last was two debacle happening Yeah. I remember that being like, that game was targeted kind of like the Odyssey. Yeah. There were the big story leaks as well. Yeah. But like there was no context for it.

So there was this narrative that was built around it. And now I'm seeing like, when you look on the Steam reviews, like the recent reviews for E-Day and stuff, like some of them are like crazy. And I thought that like the Steam reviews was one of the, last places um for like that kind of um

aggregate thingy um to have some kind of meaning but it's gamers man it's also just been like weaponized um yeah um I just don't even know what to say at this point about this if if um

it says so much about the people like absorbing this medium um like if your first thought when you see a character a female character as a heterosexual man is I don't want to fuck them

right yeah then um just fucking play like a fruit ninja or something because you're like you've got no worth

just hop on your PlayStation and download one of the millions of like softcore porn anime games yeah but it's but it's so openly misogynistic like it's it's not even veiled at all

I feel like that's what Gamergate did it just took that veil off you know and and it's some and through people like Asmingold that cultivate this environment where it's like people people used to believe this stuff

but they wouldn't vocalize it because you'd get dog piled. Yeah. Now that's kind of the other way around. Uh-huh. Well, like, it... But I'm just thinking like, okay, so imagine a character just as bland as the Mag's

character is so far, like identical in every way. Uh-huh. But looked like Hassan Piker, you know? Um, like a jacked, really tall, traditionally handsome man, right? All of the story beats are the same. he's got like Russ Lung he goes into his apartment like in the game

and he's got a picture but it's like with a Barbie doll like really hot on it everything is exactly the same even the dialogue yeah would it be dogpiled

in the same way do you think they'd be a fan favorite favorite character like is the is the conversation remotely nuanced enough to even start talking about character attributes

or is it like from a base level. People are going at such a magnifying class. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like,

I saw complaints about, like, she's the one that figures out that she's a, that you can close the e-holes with a grenade. When we were playing, I made a joke that it's like,

oh, of course. When it's like, the context of it is that she's like an ex-cog who's been pulled back into the military. She was a demolitions expert.

Right. Like, is it the performance is it like the writing like please um with stuff like that like i'm more annoyed at how they introduced the chainsaw gun that was kind of funny it was it was it's like so stupid um just like in terms of it being like a universe you know like that is oh right and dumb. Like, yeah.

It's so fucking stupid. I mean, yeah, you can't really. But it's, it's, it's not, like I'm,

like, minusing a point off of its star rating. It's just, like, stupid. Um,

which, like, can come around and be funny. Uh, but yeah, stuff like that. It's like,

who the fuck cares, man? Genuinely. Yeah. Yeah, people think, um, when when like a woman does something in a story it's inherently shitting on a man because the woman's doing it

yeah it's like weirdly insecure it's incredibly insecure um yeah but as far as like actual gameplay it's really fun yeah i'm having a great time with it's really aggressive like yeah yeah i've been thinking about it a lot um i really want to play more i've played a bunch of hoard because i've been i got like the early access version and yeah playing um the non campaign stuff save that for co-op um so i'm quite familiar with the gameplay now um it's weird you can't like pin grenades or like use meat shields um that's kind of a shame that's not there um but it's It feels amazing. Mm-hmm.

And it's like gnarly. Yeah. Swell-chie. Yeah. Like sprinting at you, like finny to the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it feels fantastic.

Yeah. And yeah, I'm looking forward to jumping into a horde. And yeah, I don't know how well it's going to do. I personally, I don't really care outside of being able to search on matchmaking. Yeah, yeah. well a game does for its own survival but

I don't even know how you measure that sort of thing anymore it's like streaming shows like I don't even know what counts as a success at this point split across Steam

it's not on Blastation anymore they just like take that way completely that really is fucked it I think and then game pass an Xbox I assume most people will probably play Gears of War on Xbox

I would probably not Steam I don't PC it's probably game past if I had to guess but do you reckon? Yeah because you have to buy it

you can just play it on game past day one yeah so yeah I think I'll leave it at that for now yeah it's woke trash don't buy it

yeah it was extremely woke having asthma is woke yeah depicting it in the media yeah they were so close to I genuinely think

if they just had some like contraption that like a cosplayer would want to build yeah I think more people would like that more can I be honest I forgot that she used an inhaler yeah because like it's such a

we barely seen her we saw the apartment scene yeah yeah and most of her dialogue has just been about rust lung and she keeps coughing Yeah.

Okay. Fucking losers. Okay, we'll see after these messages. Brankers on PS5. Out now. PlayStation. This is wild. Play a shun day hur.

Downloading wankers on my Xbox. Which one is Bart's real scream? Benes surely. Check please. See. Look away. That's a matter. I like silly.

I like big fucksy. Dobby. You in the seat. Happy Easter, Xbox. Oh. Hello, welcome to the second half of the cars. We'll be answered questions. Oh.

The subreddit, suggestion thread and over on Patreon as well in the chat. In the chat, yes. W's in the shat. There was one Mr. Blue Pumpkin referenced E-Day, but I guess we just talked about it. There's anything else to say? Xbox? Xbox. Yeah.

Series. Let's do this one then from Shelman. Thoughts on Avengers Endgame now being the highest grossing film of all time, and the new Spidey Spider-Man being the third now too. I personally watched the re-release of Endgame yesterday, and it was as shit as it always has been, very obvious that the re-release was just for the money, as all of the extra scenes feel like they belonged in other films.

Double time because they dehorned the goat avatar. P.S. talk about avatar, please. Why are you blue? Who would win in a fight? Quarich-ized Thanos or Thananized Quarich? Jesus Christ. It's blue quorich, not mech, by the way. Navi month potential?

Think about it. What is? Navi-Chelman out. I feel like it just went to set off the rails so quickly. Oh, man. I've got like a headache now. What did any of that mean? I would say...

Was that a question? I think... I was going to say Thananized Quarich. But that wasn't the question, right? There was like a whole other bit. Yeah. About Endgame. Right.

Yeah, that's where it started. What were the thoughts on Endgame being the highest gracing film and that Spider-Man film that came out being the third highest-gracing film? Uh... I mean, it makes sense. Yeah. Cinema's destroyed by a Marvel Yeah

I saw a And I know it's not the most Fresh take out there But I saw a clip of Nicholas Cage Talking about the MCEU Yeah Saying like

Like with Endgame and stuff It feels more and more Like It's just glorified WWE Right And It's like

Yeah sure yeah it kind of is i i do want to see spider-man fight the hulk yeah i i want to see um bring ironman back i want to see him fight fucking quarr it but i guess like yeah sure it's nice i would prefer all the biggest films to be like original i think it's cool that like avatar is like james have a weird love child and um titanic and shit like that. Yeah, I get it. Like, IP shit is ruining everything.

But at some point, I just don't see the difference between, like, there's a Godzilla movie with, like, a bunch of planes exploding and whatever. People love that. It's their niche. Avengers movie, there's a big fish flying through the city. And that explains. Yeah, Hulk fucking punches it and goes like, don't, dun, dung. It's fucking cool.

I don't care. Whatever, man. You know, I don't expect, um, the digger to be the most, like, successful film of all time. Um, you know, and it was never that way, you know, art house that has never been, like, the most popular thing. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I just, like, I'm just, I'm tired of. ragging on Marvel

dude I love Marvel I don't know like for example I'm just looking at like the worldwide box office for this year yeah um Spider Man brand new day I feel like is a much better

Hollywood blockbuster than like the Mario Galaxy movie yeah where like the Mary Galaxy movie is like the worst case scenario IP slot movie but brand new day kind of feels like someone cared along the line yeah there's like it's a good movie um i think a lot of people cared going into that movie and i've seen like loads of hate for it recently where it's like the thing makes loads of money you know like obviously you can criticize stuff but it's so

hyperbolic. It's like what what do you want from it then? You know? Yeah, because that's part of my attitude when talking about like media is like the intent like what it is what it's trying to be

I'm not expecting like brand new day to I guess push boundaries but I don't need every film to push boundaries necessarily I'm okay with like a Hollywood blockbuster now and then. You can't. do it well and you can't make it. Yeah and I

think like when you break down like a story into like what what's the story saying like what's the message like as far as what brand new day does and obviously it also needs to be aimed towards like kids and stuff

I can't imagine how much I would have loved this film as a kid but like the I think the message is good like it's it chooses to say something um And that's what you can ask for, really. And what I'm sick of, um, more and more so and listening to a bunch of fucking you motherfuckers on the other side of this screen is like holding opinions to like,

to a standard and the, the correct opinions and like, oh, you said this once, but now you're saying this and it's like oh right yeah it's a fucking opinion mm-hmm it's an opinion who gives us like we can argue about stuff like what's good and what's bad but like it doesn't matter at the end of it all it's like well he liked it and i didn't or i liked it and he didn't or i liked it more than him and it's because like it's not that one of us is right because like because like you've seen more movies so your opinion is more correct than mine it's like just yeah it's a stupid way of thinking about yeah it's at the end of it all like there's zero stakes and people online talk about talk about it like as if it's like the end of the world oh like it's the difference between

eating or not yeah yeah and like it's it's destroying the culture and oh right yeah like i i think a story that that gives a bad message like can be dangerous you know yeah or if it's insincere or cynical enough they can be a net negative like looking at this list like the Moana remake for example the live action yeah yeah like that's that isn't that negative on the culture it's it's trash and

artless yeah but if some fucking six year old who loves Moana goes watches it and has a great time. Like, whatever, you know? Who gives a shit? Damn, so that re-release made $127 million.

Crazy. For Avengers. I wonder if this is going to become like a trend, just re-releasing. Like, what if they released the first Avengers again? Yeah, how many people, yeah, how many people just go and see it? Avengers Week and Avengers movie every day.

Yeah. But yeah, There's no way you would get me to sit in the cinema and watch Endgame again. No. I don't think you could even get me to watch that whole film at home again. Uh-huh. Like, maybe in 20-minute bursts. I'm not sitting down and watching Endgame.

I'd watch, um, there's two Avengers movies, I think, are excellent. The 2012 one and, uh, Infinity War. Yeah. I'd watch those whenever. Yeah It's just a very surreal perspective to be like For it to just be

Considered such a like a lame thing for so long Yeah yeah And then it be like the most successful thing ever Yeah I was like lame at school Because I was big into like superheroes And Star Wars

Huh Now that I'm like normally Now everyone's like foaming at the mouth To go and watch Avengers anger game for like a third time. So what the fuck? You bullied me in school because I liked Spider-Man. Yeah. Well, Mastiffio says, how do you guys deal with uncertainties in life? And what are the things you do to cope with them? I've just started university and seeing the news about the

graduate job market being dire as fuck in the UK is certainly scary, knowing how much money I'm spending to do my degree. university loans are like fake loans don't even worry about it yeah you only have to pay it back if you're earning like enough money to live anyway so i wouldn't worry about that and i think it like they're like the only reasonable loan reasonable yeah yeah um i mean it should obviously still be free it's it's just like another form of tax um but yeah uncertainty's scary so i'd recommend and bury your head in the sand and do drugs. Yeah.

Mad drinking. That's what university's really about. Yeah. Find your vice. And hammer it until you have an issue. Obviously, we're being a bit silly. I don't know about you, but there's never not uncertainty. Yeah.

Like, you have like, zero control. Yeah. As soon as you, like, get to grips with that, the better. Yeah. You know. So what you can control is whether you do drugs or not. And even that is debatable.

Yeah. After you start, you probably lose control. Is it a thing to be an absurdist? Is it like a philosophy? I don't know. Because I... There's Naya list. Ne'il.

I don't feel like I'm in a heel. is the Joker a nihilist Uh Kind of Is the Joker No he's not an eyelist He believes in things Yeah comedy

Yeah So maybe I do Maybe I am the Joker What philosophy is the joke What's a cringiest fucking thing Oh fuck He's a mix of nihilism And anarchy

Yeah I'd say he's more of an anarchist than a nihilist. Okay, no, like absurdism embracing the chaos and randomness of existence rather than fighting it. Where others feel despair that life has no grand point, the Joker finds it hilariously liberated.

Okay, so maybe I'm an absurdist then. I'm not a nihilist and I don't think I'm an anarchist because rules are fake. You're a capitalist. You're a fucking anarchist nihilist.

Yeah. You just want to watch the world then. Um, yeah, I, I mean, there's the age old saying of live like a dog. Like, uh, I don't even know what to do with a carload. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I'm like, I'm living like a dog, chasing cars. Yeah, live like your Seinfeld. Yeah.

Don't live like Seinfeld. Please. Um, yeah, there's always going to be. uncertainty. Like, obviously there are moments where you feel more secure through your life. But uncertainty is kind of the name of the game, the name of life. Yeah, I think you should ask the robot what it thinks.

Yeah, just start relying on not thinking for yourself. Always have an air pod in, filling your brain with noise, so that you never have to interact with your inner self. and that's what I call inner peace you know you lock your inner self in a box

so it can't make a sound and then it's peaceful it's quiet so this is Joker podcast episode one this is the Joker podcast baby episode one that's my sort of

Joker style for everyone back home um Jolene D has one for us unless you had anything else on um uncertainties I'm not a fucking agony on, right?

I don't know what I can give you anymore. Yeah, I don't know what to say because, like, when I figure it out, I'll let you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when we get there. Yeah. But it's hard, and it's fine, it's fine to find it difficult.

I think that's the key. I'm still at the process of, I pick up a leaf off the floor and I'm like, what the fuck? Why they fall in? All the trees down, what the fuck? Yeah. Oh dear.

Well, Jolene D has one. Jolene. P and A. Paisley and Argy. Coincidence or a conspiracy going deeper than we could ever imagine. Oh, shit. It's all a conspiracy if you think hard enough. AVP, what's going on?

AVP. What is going on? One in the... A, two in the P... Shut the fuck. Shut the fuck, fucking absurdism. Is real? Antonio Phillips has one.

When's the last time a piece of tech excited you? The last true time I personally got hyped for a piece of tech was the Switch 1 back in 2017. Technology has gotten rather boring in my opinion for obvious logistical reasons. On that note, any childhood memories attached to a piece of... piece of tech. The Xbox 360 to me partnered with Xbox Life was magical to a young boy like myself at the time in 2005.

Hell yeah. Same. Game Boy? Game Boy Advance SP. Getting the Game Boy Advance SP was revolutionary. It changed everything. All that shit's really valuable now. All these like wistful millennials

want to re-experience the Yeah, t-he-he-he. So they can play it for five minutes then put it in their attic. They're going to say put it in their ass. K-Boy SP fucking advanced SP up my fractal. Is that how the like, the brain chip works? You like put SD cards into your bottom and it reads it.

Yeah. That's your like port. And you can play Pokemon leaf green. Pokemon go up my ass. Ha ha ha. Re. Um, 360 was a good.

good one. Yeah, 360. But most of my memories are of them, like, the, it was like gambling every time we turned it on. It was going to die that maybe. Yeah, yeah. We did have one die, right? Yeah, we had a red ringer. Even tried the towel technique.

Yeah. Fixes it for like five minutes. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, a piece of shit console, really. Like, the first Xbox 360. Yeah.

It was fine once they, like, fixed it. But. Um, last, what was the one your last one you were actually hyped for? Uh, the VR headset to play Half-Life Alex. Oh yeah. That was hype. I was bouncing off the balls. I think genuinely, it might have been the Xbox one for me.

Beh. I mean, these memories of using the fucking connect. Xbox on. The Xbox, record that, motherfucker. That's just that. It was so shit. What an awful generation. You're like waving at the guy in Assassin's Creed.

Emoat your way through. You want to pin Netflix tiny on the side, motherfucker? Yes. I'm like watching Ours of cards I like Well you play fucking Fawks of 5

Because there was nothing else out Yeah what a piece of shit Um Connect I literally threw that thing in a skip Really What thought You were such an ex-bought

You were such an ex-bot Um, that ended it though, that killed it. Yeah. That killed Xbox. I'm a steam guy now. Yeah. Yeah, steam fucking rocks. I was looking forward to the, um, steam machine.

And then it's like 9,000 pounds. Yeah, it's too expensive for what it is. Yeah. Um, for like a piece of equipment that's weaker than my PC. Uh-huh. Uh, yeah, they got fucked with timing. Yeah, it's so unlucky. Um.

Yeah, I just certainly get excited things. I know it's, it's not like a piece of, of technology but software yeah um hunt down the freeman that wasn't the question piece of tap i just wanted to get it in there it is tech it requires tech doesn't it i guess that hunt down the freeman on pc yeah yeah i wish there was a physical copy that would be good oh yeah you can burn it onto a DVD yeah yeah i kid actually yeah um x fox version. Hunt down the Freeman on Xbox.

Can you design the cover art? Nick's silhouette. With the James Bond barrel. Oh God. My real answer is actually probably my projector. Oh yeah, that's fair.

That thing's cool. Cool. This work. I thought the Steam deck as well. Steam deck's cool. Yeah, Steam deck. The, uh,

nah. No? No. Um, well, Chief from Rock Raiders, Whanks says, what's on Star Wars Galactic Races? Not only is it a great Star Wars

with some prime glup shittos new and old, but is also a fantastic racing game from X Burnout Devs. If, um, Gears hadn't just come out, I would be playing it right now. Yes, I, um,

because it's not, that pricey. It's really cheap. You know it's a rogue light. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it sounds cool. I'm assuming it's got like online. I think so. Have you seen like the gameplay? It looks fucking nuts.

Yeah, it looks fun as fuck. Like the speed and shit. Yeah, yeah. And there's like speeders and and and pod races and like all different sorts. Yeah, it looks awesome. I'll definitely play it. Yeah, I'll probably wait until it's on sale. Yeah. And there's this one glup that's been making the rounds from it.

I'll play you. It's a 53 second clip of like it talking. Okay, should I come and look? I want your reaction on the mic. I think the audio is more important. And then perhaps you can see, you can envision in your mind what the glup looks like. Yeah. And see if it matches.

Right, I'll play it now. Chon-parachuba big donkey. Chonetudey, I'm a wanky. Why do you say wanky? What? have a little bit of involvement in this game because that's fucking now get up and look at what it looks like it's one of those guys

yes that's not what I was expecting what were you picturing something like lankia no man that's fucking insane what was at that truahua mea wonky

yeah awesome I'm buying it then. I'll buy it full price now. Um, well the dingle minga. Yeah. That's another one for us. Okay. Not a question, but a comment. To be honest, A month pissed me off.

There was about as much buildup to A as there has been to Dr. Doom in the New Avengers. In fact, a month was practically, sorry, A month was practically the doomsday of Jha. Chip month was just used to manipulate us by evoking memories of our beloved month, like Marvel bringing back our DJ to manufacture hype. Not to mention that Venom slash Venomized was clearly the true heart and soul of the meme.

Anyway, I've been a jarling since the old channel. So I'm going to watch whatever you mingos get up to. All love. Crazy Frog in therapy was probably the bottom of the barrel. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck this guy. You're a motherfucking blog. You know what? I was kind of on his side until he said

that whole shit about Frog. I'm proud of our work, He's controversial, man. Frog? Oh yeah. That's why we need to control the narrative. We need to be blocking more. We need to be taking them down.

Sir, there's no one left to block. We've blocked them all. Um, fapin and clapping has one here. Nurse jarling here. Next week, I'm finishing my nursing job after nearly 10 years in the field due to burnout and just not enjoying it anymore. I will miss all the. the poo and we though. I handed by a notice in

before actually getting another job off of somewhere else. I've applied to loads of things but have yet to be offered an interview. So it's looking like I might have to spend a bit of time being a neat. What shall I do during this time? Funny answers only. Goon. Goon.

There's nothing else you can do. Just do some vibe coding on AI. Yeah. Just put games into other games through AI. Yeah. We're so close. They figured out how to do it with games.

They've got to do movies soon. They've been doing movies. They've been putting Epstein and Charlie Kirk in everything. No, I mean like full Sonic the Hedgehog in endgame type shits. Oh, right. Yeah. Sonic is Iron Man in that film for the whole runtime of the film. And you can just watch it and it's like the same.

But it's Sonic instead of Iron Man. Yeah. You know? Sonic as Iron Man or like he's Sonic. Like he's Sonic the hedgehog Yeah And they're just like AI voice lit every other character

To be like Sonic Yeah yeah You know everything's the same though Within reason But he's not Sonic in an Iron Man suit Is what I know Good He like replaces

Yeah yeah yeah Iron Man's role Hmm An end game you say Yeah that's just an example You could put him into Fucking Sitting vigilancy

Probably Yeah Yeah That's more of a knuckles type film I think Eggman Jim Carries Eggman Yeah

Um Um Oh academic analysis That's one Hi Can jar viewers have a safe word To communicate When we don't find something funny

No And to prevent unconsensual exposure Perhaps a term like crazy frock Fuck Fuck you. I thought of a good phrase that could be used to suit more if you don't find something funny. Say we find that funny. That is a good way.

If you find it unfunny. Alex will stop that shit immediately. Yeah. Say blank is funny. You know? So like, for example, Crazy Frog is funny as fuck. That would be like, oh, okay. I'll tally that.

And when the tally reaches a number that I'm not going to reveal, then it will, like, cancel it out. Can we do a crazy frog out next? I'm sick. I'm wearing that fucking horse. Do you want me to wear it? And I've got to do it again, for Halloween. What? Yeah, because it's two days worth of two different costume parties.

Oh, shit. So I'll be the dude on Halloween, and then on the one the day after, I've got to be Crazy Frog. Ah. So. Unlucky, dude. I'm not doing anything for it. I'm being dog man. Dog man.

Yeah, I'm just going to be looking after dogs. I'm not doing shit. Maybe a bit gooning, actually. Outfishing 7. Yeah. That's one. Alex, do you have any updates on the gorgeous Asian telegram babes? Oh, yeah.

Did I tell you about the one that I made break, break character. Yeah, you did. That was a little while ago, right? That was a while ago, but I don't remember sharing it. How often are you getting these? Like, I'm through, because I've never had... Usually, you won a day.

Like, where are you putting your number? I don't know, like, how they find me. Like, yeah, yesterday. Kay Scottie. Hello there. Excuse the interruption. And they felt like the lovely. eyes emoji yeah and they always have an Asian profile picture

um oh what were they called there are so many oh here we go scrolling through all your hose yeah this is fucked up this is a fucked up this was the longest I'd ever like got one going um Um, hey, I-H-E got too many holes. Yeah, that's this one. Damn. She's beautiful. Started off with the message.

There are always new stories to look forward to. That was like the opening. That's one heck of an opening. That's awesome. And I said, agreed, my darling. Agreed. And that fucking sucks. And then also, I love you.

With the rock on image. Thank you for your likes. My name is Li Ningji. I'm from China and I'm 30 years old. And you? Wow, I love that. Yeah, thank you. Please introduce yourself.

I am Tim. I'm quite important. I'm from the UK. I'm 46 years old. Ah, your place is a very beautiful place. I enjoy making new friends. It's a great way to broaden my knowledge and horizons. I couldn't agree more.

I love you. Let's do it. What to start. And then I said, I'll just skip over some of this because it's pretty long. Oh, she said, well, she. Yeah. I'm looking at it.

for my soulmate. My name is Li Ningji. And then just like a selfie. Wow, you're hot. You must be my soulmate. Ha ha, really? Do you like me? Yes, of course, babe.

You're gorgeous. Is this a confession to me? And then a big smiling emoji. Oh wow, that's huge. My weakness is Chinese women. Wow. Where do you live, Lee? We simply must connect.

And then the... Lee? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, when I was very young, I was also moved by confessions of love. I thought love was all there was to it. But after experiencing it myself, I realized that if a man says he loves you but has no goals, no plans, and not even the courage to make a promise.

Then that kind of love won't even last the shelf life of a bottle of milk. What women truly need is love that can build a stable family together Not promises made under the stars today that might vanish in the wind and rain tomorrow Oh Amazing So I completely agree with that Very wise indeed I really hope you understand what I'm saying

It's like weirdly serious all of a sudden Yeah I really do How did you get my number And then they said doesn't matter. Isn't our meeting the most important thing? Wow, yes, when you put it like that. So give me more information on what you want, what you simply desire.

Then she said, I enjoy making new friends. It's a great way to broaden my knowledge and horizons. As for what I want, my wish is to fulfill my travel plans. Are you in UK or China? I asked. To be able to find a soulmate to complete this plan. land together in the UK. Where in the UK? I asked.

London. And you? I said, I'm in London too. Yes. Wow, really? That's such a coincidence. So what do you do? I said. Because by this point I was like, so what is the game? Yeah, yeah. What are they after? Yeah, I said, so I kept it subtle.

I'm a senior managing director. for a US investment bank. What about you? I was like, they must have gone like, we're in the money. Wow, that senior managing director, that sounds amazing. Are you very busy every day? I also invest. I trade options.

Fucking out. You're a Chinese trader? That's hot. hot. But I have a stable job which consists of two shops I own in China, a beauty salon and a clothing store. In addition, I am also a designer.

Ha ha. Do you make investments yourself? And then I said, yes, many. And I said, can you show me something you designed? Sure. Well, then I'll make a fool of myself. Ha ha. And then they posted like a bunch of like dress designs.

Wow. You know, I'm starting to think she's real. I was like, wow, that's incredible. And then they put this really suss, like, description of it. I made a denim skirt, a denim skirt I made in my first year of college craft class, and I'd like to share some of the making process. The main material is denim fabric with some pre-dived, and then, like, really going into ridiculous detail.

Some, like, chat, GBT. Yeah. So then I just replied with Wow the gradient effect is stunning I actually love how the denim lace Looks on the hip Do you have a close-up picture of the back

I'd love to see how the corset fastens together To try and get another angle Oh yeah And then they reposted one of the previous pictures saying I only took this one picture That has a zipper I just googled some like terms about like this kind of shit.

Ah shame, I really wanted to see the back closure. But looking at this side view, how did you get the hip ruffle to stand out so sharply without collapsing under its own weight? Did you use horsehair braid in the hem? Ha ha, it's not a ponytail. It's supposed to be stiff padding

and several layers of mesh. That's why it's so perky. Winking emoji. Hi. And then she was, went back to the message saying, senior marketing director for investment, and replied to that saying,

so your income is very high, right? And I said, it pays well enough. Mostly I just manage offshore crypto yield farming funds. And venture allegations. Is your design work just a side hobby, or do you invest in high yield assets too? It's my talent and also my passion,

which is why I opened a clothing store but I left both stores to my family to manage I'm also involved in cryptocurrency this is what's being done in the UK right now my uncle introduced me to this industry and then I was like okay it must be a crypto scam that right I was like that's incredible

I've been looking for a good hedge fund against inflation beyond my standard fund allocations I have about $50,000 sitting in a low yield cash account right now that I've been meaning to deploy. Maybe a juicy kiss could convince me. How did you get started with your crypto strategy? They're like,

this is Forex Options Trading. You might know a little about it. My uncle taught me this. He's my best mentor. During the pandemic, my two shops couldn't sell their goods, causing me significant losses. On my uncle's advice,

I raised funds and invested in Forex Options Trading, making huge profits. Now I also have my own analysis team. Of course, I've been involved for more than eight years now. Um, and it's like, that's incredible about your uncle. Honestly, I have about 60,000 pounds sitting in a high yield account, doing almost nothing right now because my financial advisor is way too conservative. Do you and your analysis team handle accounts that size or would I trade through your uncle's platform directly?

I believe in my abilities. Maybe you can entrust this to me. I'd love to entrust this to you. How does it work? Do I just bank transfer the money straight to your master share? Or do I need to buy Apple gift cards first? How fucking stupid do they think you? My buddy said people buy crypto gift cards now.

No gift card required. This is a scam. What exchange are you using? And then I was like, okay, I can't believe how fucking stupid do you think that are? And I said, I'm using the... Yeah, what exchange are you using? I'm using the one where you suck my swollen hairy balls to be honest They have scabs and I pretty much consistently have crabs from how many hookers I sleep with

Will you eat my crabs and suck my balls? You clearly got the same bored of them What are they say? What do they say? They just said they ignored it and said me a screenshot and I'll guide you step by step. What the fuck? To which I just replied with um, this old video of Tim singing. Um, so I sent that video and then said, do you think I'm hot?

And they said, wow, that's interesting. You like it? I'll give you so much money and invest in you if you like it. I don't need your money. the investment is up to you. But what about my balls? And the crabs. This is your own decision.

I said, I love you. I think you are my true love. I'd do anything for you. Okay, if you have time now, I'd be happy to teach you. I am rich. I have so much money and nothing to do with it. Except spend it on hookers. And then I guess they thought they were losing me,

so they just post. this random picture of like a chinese woman yeah like a dinner they said you need to understand they said you need to understand that this is not a game I said oh dear everything is a game when you're

as rich as me my darling darling totally real Chinese person furthermore making money through investment is your own business and I don't think it should be something I exchange with you for something else. Besides, I've already shown you what I've already done. You're not the only rich person in the world, okay? Damn. Then they posted it.

Yeah. They posted like a fake screenshot of like the crypto assets. It says like half a million US dollars in there. This is the amount of money in my investment account. Not all of my funds. I said, well, babe, is that all you have? Loll, you poor. I feel bad for you.

Do you want some money to beef up your pathetic saving and investment? Is that so? Let me see your account balance. I said, my wallet app automatically blocks screen capture and turns the screenshot black for privacy reasons. My current liquid balance is... billion. A hundred pounds. Liquid balance.

In USD. Do you want me to lift out, sorry, list out my token holdings instead? Okay. I've seen through your lies. Are you breaking up with me? Pissing me off using my love of China against me, motherfucker? Aren't you British? How come you're doing things in America?

The lies they make are so outrageous. Have they ever actually fooled anyone? Yes. You, moron. Then he said, get ready to get a stun gun. What the fuck? Yeah. What?

He's straight of threatening you. I wasn't expecting that. And then in that reply to, aren't you British? I said, I own many dollars, idiot. It's the oil standard. Dumb. You have a lot of money, then come and learn from me. Use your money to prove you're not a scammer.

Basically, I said I have $700 million. Ready for access. I said, if you send me a video of your pretty Chinese face nicely asking for a million dollars, I'll send you a million dollars. I'm serious. Transfer the money first. I'll book a flight and fly over to see you right away. What the fuck?

They said they're in London. Yeah. Liar. I said, really? And they said, really? And then I said, you know what? You said you're in London, you fucking liar. Why do you need to fly to me, dumbass?

I know, don't you work in the US? Your acting skills are unbeatable. And then I said, yeah, we have this thing called the internet and phones. So I can work remotely. Fucking dumbass. I think you should send me a million dollars. I'll suck your dick. Oh my God.

And then they were. went he he he and I said maybe I was the real Chinese babe after all yeah they're getting really pissed you damn liar just die already why are they still interacting with you yeah I said are you even Chinese at least tell me that much and then they said roll which I googled is like it's like a Chinese way of like insulting you or like so okay I think it's kind of like saying fuck off type thing right roll Rollers in like ROLLL. Yeah. Okay.

And I said, what? I demand to know if you're Chinese. Then they said, am I Chinese or Japanese? I said, I don't know. You're supposed to be telling me. And then I said, it would be really weird if you were Japanese and pretending to be Chinese. And they said, do you think I'm Japanese? Yes.

Although you kind of promised you were Chinese. You're fun, want to be friends? Let's okay Dark Souls co-op mod Get lost, you damn liar I've been nothing but a truth teller You're the Japanese liar in the end What a fucked up twist Just one photo, that's ridiculous

They said Send me it then if you're that pathetic You only have one photo, question mark they said And then I said one photo of what? and then they just said I'm dying of laughter and that was the end that was a ride

Jesus Christ So I've officially had a Chinese threat Yeah How do you know it's not a Chinese bot Um You can't normally rage bait them Right Like bots they're very like

Formulaic Yeah even if they're like performing Like if the prompt is play a Chinese play a Japanese person pretending as a crypto scammer. Man. I do really hope like one of these

people you've been having back and forth with one of them is actually like just as beautiful. Yeah, that would be it. Chinese wonder. Unreal, man. I mean, a lot of people hate scammers, but I kind of respect it.

Like, how often do you think these people are like, just sat WhatsApp on the laptop, just messaging like a thousand people like, like, have moved back and forth. Yeah, they're like grinding. They are on the grind to trick old people

into giving them their crypto. Yeah. And it's like, you know what? if we're gonna like become a hustle culture type of like society they're hustling like no one else I wish we lived in a world but it wasn't necessary for anyone to do that fucking watch. Yeah well yeah exactly yeah but we do live in a world where we might as well start doing it so yeah start yeah you're just messaging yourself I've been scamming the scammers yeah

We're getting their crypto Yeah, you've got like I've been scammed enough to know the secrets You've got like oblivion speech stat maxed out So you can just scam the scammers Scammer point check Yeah Yeah

Well if you're a Chinese scammer And you want to give me a go You know my number Yeah they've already got it Like you don't need to give it out Deary me Nearly got me I know my

weakness. Foyled again. But I just wonder, like, they cast a wide net, obviously. Yeah. They're looking for that, like, crypto millionaire who's, like a dumbass. Yeah, they exist. Yeah. Um, I guess like a, like, like, boogie, kind of.

You know, like, boogie when he had all that crypto money. Yeah. Like, he would have been the perfect journeys victim, you know, of the time. Well, he's not Chinese. Don't like the victim of the Chinese scammer. The Chinese victim. Does that make sense? No.

Yeah. Boogie's just a comedian, though. He's a ranter slash comedian. Gamer. Yeah. So any thoughts on Lowell Live ending? Is it ever? Yeah.

Okay. Whatever. Yeah, cool. Anything else you want to bring up? Any Chinese tales to twist? I have this weird, like, phantom poop sort of feeling. The Phantom of the Opera Pooh. Yeah.

Should we talk about we? No. No, we're done. Are we? You're me, we're done. You know this whole thing? It's over. We're done.

First I thought you was Scoob Turned out to be scraps I need a motherfucking Red Bull dude Yeah, should we do a try not to laugh challenge Yeah Who's on laugh duty? Who's on KSI duty They're not laugher

Did you see KSI um Left the Fine Bros He's sidelined the Fine Bros Yeah What the fuck He's sidelined the fine bros Because he's like You know what lads

I'm the most best out of all of the fine bros. I'm going off on my own. You think you have a suckle drink with Mr. Beast? That's me. That's me. That's me. That's me. That's my suckle drink.

That's my suckle drink to the suckle king. Oh, Mr. Beast. I guess I failed. Do remember when Spider-Man goes... When he webs up, Mr. Beast. You gotta go to the bank, motherfucker. Yeah. You're in.

debt, Mr. Beast. Pay up, bitch. He's a debt collector Spider-Man. Yeah, he works for the bank. That should be Venom. DSP? Dark side fill. I'd watch a Venomized Dark Side Phil stream.

Dark-Sidified Venom. Dark-siderized. Siderized. That's me on a Saturday night, fan. I haven't drank cider in a long time. Um, I actually had a rattler recently.

Fuck you then. Well, I guess we're done here. Guess we're done here, guy. I got pooey butt. Hey man, you're not that guy, motherfucker. You still reading the Fellowship of the Ring? Oh yeah. Okay.

Give a synopsis then. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-ha-na-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-caw me are Giovanni What? That's his nickname, Gigi. Gio Gio Gio Gio. Who's Giovani? Giovani Jitzi? You know, he made morose.

The fuck you're talking about. Cheeky Gigi, he made Morose, the classic beat. Is that a new sentence? No, spray sense. no what they called after shape innocentsia fragrance yeah fragrance by Tom Holland's fucking booty's

yeah it's like his spider man sweat yeah spider stink from spiders stink yeah spider's regret what would your smell be what would it be called um your fragrance

bionicle Yeah, the smell of a freshly open bionic. Oh shit, that like plastic tube smell. Yeah, yeah. That's the good nostalgia kind of hit. Mine would be like, you know, hangover breath. Hangover breath by Jamie. I love being hungover.

No, you don't. No one likes it. What? What the fuck was that? Um, so one of us needs to flip a coin. Yeah. And one of us, I mean you. Okay. Do you want heads or tails?

A digie coin. I'll have heads this time. Fuck. Hey Siri. Flip a coin. What was it? Heads. We didn't say if it was first or second.

You're going first, because you got heads. Okay. That's how it works. That's how we did it last time. That's fine. That's fucking fine. Well, this is the Patreon names for October, 2026. Huge shoutouts and thanks to hashtag jar media October word of the month, Petricor.

At underscore smiling politely on Insta. That's why you heard Petricor in your ear. It's the pleasant earthy scent that fills the air when rain falls on dry soil or rock. That is a pleasant smell indeed. 5A's, am I first on the list? Now? No. Aaron B. Cohen.

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You know I always thought normality was kind of ridiculous. So I wrote a podcast about it. And it goes a little something like that... Yatham Top. Yorn Mower. YMS. Zach Nordquist.

Zach. Zap cool man. Zodiac rat man. Zizi. T-Y. Everyone, that was every name on the Epstein list. Four pound a month jar, Patreon subscription. Courtsy of universal credit. Ha! Ha! Hop, hub.

Hooray! Thank you, everybody. Thanks, everyone. You're the real... You're the real Petro Corps. Bosch!