JAR Media Posdact - Lucozade SUCK - Corncast #13

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies  

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gents, and welcome to episode 13 of the corncast. I guess this is going to be an unlucky episode, guys, so I'm your host Alex, joined here as always by James, aka the passionate napper. Yep, there he is. He's there somewhere. Jim the master of reloads I prefer beast Okay And Rubin the Ramaris fan

What The what? Is a Duralhane Chieftain Oh Why do you I don't care actually It's fine

I just don't care Before we go into the episode I want to shout out the Patreon For supporting the audio version and we should probably start by addressing our last episode for those watching the video there was no video game and there was no particular reason for that we just felt like you know it'd be nice just for a change to not have some you know cringy little game in the background some people got upset about it so we're back um we were going to have a fun time

in an arc survival evolved but that didn't really work out did it fellas Jesus Christ what Yeah, I think it might be the worst. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I think it might be the worst game of the gen. Other than loading it up and then you just can't even get into a lobby with people. And it's like the point of the game. Yeah, and we were playing on the Epic Launcher, Epic Store Launcher. When you go into the admin settings, though, of a server that you've launched yourself

and you want to whitelist somebody, it says to add their Steam ID. It's embarrassing. It's especially embarrassing, considering the potential it has with all these dinosaurs. I loaded into a map and there was a dodo running around and all these dinosaurs that I started punching. See, that to you, potential is just, dinosaurs are included. Are they included? It instantly improves anything. Yeah, I was about to reference something that would have been a spoiler for something I'm playing at the moment, but I won't do that.

Speaking of, yeah, I've been playing The Last of Us too. Actually, before you do that, I was just looking up the stats for Arcive Evolved. Ever since it's come out, it's had around a 50,000 player base, like, consistently. That's pretty good. We must be missing something. Dark Souls has about 2,000 a month. So that's the amount of people. What's with the comparison?

That's a bizarre comparison. Game off the top. head that I thought would be played a lot. That's how many people are playing arc survival every month. That's a fucking obscene amount. Yeah, people just eat up that survival bullshit.

I don't care if it's good or not. Live action survival bullshit. Did I just say live action? I meant, I just said live action. I meant live service. Did you say live action and then I repeated you? I don't know. Did you? Then I said it. I said it.

Had to go back and double check that one for us. That was me, I just said it. Live action survival bullshit. Did I just say live action? It is in the top seven most played Steam games. Fucking how. Is it because of three there?

Top, no. It's not free. It's like 50 quid. So on number one, we've got Counterstrike, Dota, player and battlegrounds, which is still one of the biggest game. GTA 5, fuck me. The Path of Exile, Destiny 2, Ark.

Wow. and it only beats it only loses out from Destiny 2 by a thousand people at least Destiny 2 is being it I'll take that yeah it would be embarrassing if Ark was played more than Destiny both trash though people get some fucking taste

damn but yeah last of us 2 I've been playing no spoilers don't worry I won't say anything or allude to anything but just want to say at the moment I'm halfway through the game and there really isn't much

pulling me to continue playing honestly not the happiest with the direction they chose to take it but I kind of want to just let it sit for a bit and think about it before I cast my full judgment on it you played it a bit Jim what did you think

yeah there's I mean there's stuff I like and stuff I don't like it's definitely not like as atrocious as the review bombing makes it out to be The conversation is way more nuance than that. It is weird, though, with like a story game where the controversial part is just the choices in the story.

Like, if the gameplay was the exact same and all the systems were the same and just the story was different and better, I think everyone would be happy. But it is just one part of the game, which they have highlighted it as the most crucial thing, that being the story. Yeah.

I'm interested by this reaction to it. Yeah, I mean, the gameplay itself is not. nothing to like be blown away by like it's good no there are some like genuinely like really exciting encounters but yeah yeah and the i had a few one i have an issue with you know like if you don't really like the direction they take the story i mean yeah and a game like that it's just an experience when he said to us that they're walking dead at it they walking dead at it they did it that's exactly right yeah I think that completely nails it honestly

my greatest issue is I don't think this is spoils just it's just the idea of celebrity in a fucking apocalypse the idea of I know who you are I don't like you it's like you wouldn't you what what the fuck is going on

it's super stupid and then I feel like they could have made the same story work if it was restructured yeah if it was just changed a bit moved around change the pacing up a bit yeah I'm curious to see because the game's so long at the time of recording this a lot of people still be playing it so yeah we haven't started getting those like YouTube videos you know the ones I mean they'll start coming out oh they will

they will happen there and it's gonna suck it's gonna be super lame yeah also reactionary stuff but oh well we'll see on in brighter news though um James reminded me of the story that I I never told on the cast about the old jar pet, Max, the Golden Retriever. Yeah. I got a bit of an update on what he's been up to lately. He's living on like a farm, basically. And he helped a pig escape from Pigpen, and they just ran around, like, causing chaos, just as Max and his pig.

Nice. So now they're just buds, I guess. I like that. He was a bit of a pig, so. Yeah. It's a very max fitting story. It is a very maxing to do. They dug either side of the pen, and it escaped.

The pig was digging one side, and Max was digging the other, and it helped. How did they cook animals, man, just coordinated that. It's like the chicken run shit. His chickens are up to something. Yeah, that's exactly right. His pigs are up to something. It's the max thing. You mean it's a babe pig in the city?

Yeah. But yeah, we actually had a question from a mama, to the electric bug who said, Hey, I'm thinking about getting a golden retriever and was wondering what you would recommend about getting one and how hard was it to keep Max? Thanks guys, really appreciated. My recommendation would be get a minimum of 10.

Yeah, just to be sure. One of them is bound to be nice. Yeah, well, all of them are bound to be. They're my favorite dog breed, but you have to be able to accept hair. That's the main thing about them. The main negative of them It's just the pure amount of that golden hair

That goes everywhere Yeah and the The fact that they need like grooming and stuff Otherwise they'll get matted fur and stuff Yeah A lot of other breeds You don't need to worry about that sort of thing Aside from that though

They're like such a nice breed It's just Max was like a particularly big one Paisley is the perfect golden retriever size IMO She's like Half the body mass Of Max Yeah probably

faster than him there. But damn she can move. Yeah. Max was a chunky boy. Chunky mama. A chunky boy? Have we talked about voys on a turkey boy? Is there any one I know over there more voys? There's many voys.

Oh, okay. We must have because I saw someone do some fan art where they referenced the voice. The voice. Okay. Then we went to bring it up. Yeah. Ipswich voy on the Guardian toy. The Maritime.

boy. Yeah dude. We have this one from knob fungus who's kind of reporting in based on an idea they got from James actually saying I know this is late but this evening I decided to try James's infamous beans on pasta and honestly it's pretty damn fucking good. Can James please enlighten us with any other weird food combos or dishes? Um there's a good one it's the um being a university student eating well for less era of jar food the iconic thing Jamie makes so you want to make yourself a sausage roll or a bacon roll you know they're shit

okay let's just call that now bacon rolls for the most part are quite shit but you know how to make them better filling with hash browns hash brown and bacon or sausage baguette so explain the process here what do you mean what does this have to do of the university students eating well

for less as well? I was just... Oh, I thought this was like related somehow but it's not. No, no. It's cheap. It's food that can fill you up for like an entire day for like two pounds. It's fucking stupid.

But just stick hash rounds in just anything. Yeah. But any... Yeah, like with bacon. Just like a bacon baguette is dull. So if you stick hash browns in it, it becomes like the next bowl.

Any sauce? Any sauce in that? Yeah, you have ketchup What if you're watching your weight? Hash brown, potato, it's fine Yeah, but the bacon as well And the bread Okay, then just have hash brown

Yeah, I'm glad we could Whirl everything down to its most essential components Get rid of the bread, get rid of the hash browns Get rid of the bacon And then just have scrambled eggs There you go No

Okay, okay But what about the beans And the, like you never even touched on that. The beans? What? Beans and pasta? The beans on pasta? That was the question about that? No, that's just...

It was calling out for other recommendations. Oh, okay, okay. Right, all right. I believe you've even tried baked beans and pasta yet. I'm not going to. Yeah, because I'd rather just either have a pasta dish or... A bullet in the head. Yeah, well.

Okay, so you've got to eat something. You cannot be asked to cook and you can't order a takeaway. You're going to make beans on pasta. Sorry, that's just what you're going to do. okay well reuben you said you had an idea I don't know what it is but I noted it down

oh I had this thing it was partially related to mine and Jim's coming segment so let me just have a look at the note again there because there was something else about it it led me to another thought where is it no okay

whatever no there was no it was just yeah it sort of relates to mine and Jim's coming bit so you can just do that then Ruben's talking about we're going to record a little Dark Souls 2 standalone video Oh maybe I should just do it here then

Yeah Well what is it, I'm not sure Oh like it was just like I was just thinking like what Dark Souls boss name Is everyone, I've ever done that It's like an obvious joke Hey Only you guys can answer it

But I'll Google them as you say Hmm Because what would James be What's James as well as his boss? James Carfucker Because there's always name comma something something Or something of something

Is there not pre-established bosses That we are like the Madagascar sort of Oh maybe so what? You want to do it that way? We can do it that way All right whatever Actually James is the The big titty one

Not the boss But no Gwendolyn or something Gwendoon yeah What Give me a reason Big Tiddy Is he like your titty?

no because you're just being racist you need to actually give a reason how's it racist because I'm saying it isn't give a reason um reuben is hmm what am I

you're the uh the asylum demon I see I was going to say what about that awful boss in Dark Souls 2 like the rotten or the whatever it is the oh is that that tree no no no no no that one

that's that's three that's the curse rotten the rotten dark souls two it's just like a slug thing oh darks too I don't know if slugs the right the rotten dark souls yeah

oh yeah that's not the one I was thinking of fuck it I'm thinking of the covetous demon thank you yeah the rotten would do though as well. No, Argy is the covetous demon.

Yeah, Argy's a covetous demon. Oh, what? Yeah, Google the coverter demon. What's Argy? Why does it look like that? Because Dark Souls 2 is a shit game. You know what comes up when you type in the covetous steam in Dark Souls 2

and like the recommended searches after VOR? It's quite a good war creature with the size of that bloody. Oh, it's huge too. awful boss yeah it's terrible yeah one of many awful bosses within i just want to hear you guys just fucking go in on dark sales too for a bit more to that but that's another video that'll be later on otherwise um for the rest of part one what else have we got to talk about anyone got anything

um i just want to say reuben is ceaseless discharge i'm the ceaseless discharge yeah which one is that from one that's one really bad unfinished boss fight oh is that one that weird that's also like a tree thing isn't it so that makes

Jamie I'm crossbreed Priscilla okay okay yeah I just want to ceaseless discharge looks like

oh it's just um oh it's like a lava thing yeah oh that thing and it jumps and you cut its hand or whatever and it's just a bit of a shit boss

So what's been going on then in the last week? What have you been keeping the self same with? Um, um, Hmm. Looking back on the week, I'm struggling to remember.

I started watching 13 reasons why, the last season. Why? Yeah. Give us a 13-worded review. The best thing I've ever seen. The best thing I've ever seen. Degree as fuck

You got two more words Watch it, okay Yeah, that's my... I disagree. You haven't seen, have you? No, don't need to. You can't say squat. I don't know, I read a fucking

Reddit post that said it was shit, so... Really? You read it on Reddit? No, I'm just meming the Last of Us thing. So what, you just been playing cod for another week? Yeah.

Yeah, Cod, Dark Souls, a little bit. I've been putting... For the whole quarantine, Cod has kept you guys occupied. Yeah. The only reason I haven't lost my mental health. Realistically, that is just the truth. Really? Yes.

I feel like there was like a huge year, well, multiple year gap, where none of you really gave a shit about Cod? Yeah, because it was shit. Yeah, because Black Ops 2 ruined Cod. Yeah. No, Black Ops 2. Black Copsie is a great game, but it was the turn of bad cod. Oh, like, future, future.

Yeah. Awful. No, awful. Like, man, it's not God, though. It's Warzone, specifically a Save Cod. Yeah. Oh, you guys play Warzone, do you? Yeah, I play constantly.

Great. It's incredible. Best Battle Royal by far. Well, so, no. It's a World Battle Oil. That's kind of it. But that's not you. doesn't need to be his cod The Cod is just like

Warzone is the most crap nonsense stupid Baratoreale of like almost nothing going on on it mechanically and that's probably why it's quite good How do you win then? Be really lucky

Play well That's why I can't play them This is how you play ballzone You drink about six glasses of bourbon you start dry heaving and then you're constantly buzzing and you're doing top ten finishes

every single game that's how you play cod you only play about alcohol there's no point playing cod without alcohol this well I'll tell you something I've watched I watched um half of the newest season

of Rick and Morty yeah on Netflix oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I just I just don't really find it funny anymore I don't know what is changed like it just

doesn't really do it for me. No, I don't laugh at it ever. I never think it's not bad, but I don't laugh. Yeah, it's not like insulting or anything like that. It's just... It's just fine. You just watch an episode and say, yeah, that was a Rick and Morty episode, I guess, now. There are a couple of other ones, but there was, like, a really bad one in there.

And, like, it really bothers me when cartoons start doing this, where they just get, like, relevant celebrities in there. Like, when Elon Musk showed up, I guess he's, like, relevant to the whole science angle the show's going for but the same time like it's so counterculture and so like meta I feel like putting

Elon Musk in is just such a I don't know it's just lame to me lame I don't remember what the really bad episode is in that season because there is one that sucks the dragon one wasn't that good oh yeah the dragon one lame boring

they were like trying to mock fantasy trope which I get, but like, yeah. I was thinking about this because I've been watching community a bit too, which is written by Dan Harmon as well. I think that show actually does a better job of, like, parodying tropes than Rick and Morty does. Because Rick and Morty's, like, trapped also being, like, a science fiction-y thing at the same time as communities, just a bunch of people in a room talking.

I'd recommend it, actually. It's really funny. It starts off kind of being a bit shit and, like, really American, but it gets more clever the longer it goes on maybe I will yeah be curious if you would like it Jim because you don't like anything

quite fussy about things like that yeah I do you like things name two things that you like and they can't be by from software hitman and hitman too shit blood money's better sorry What?

Blood money's better. Or me alert. Are you guys doing anything? This is a dark source boss. George Michael is a legend. What do you mean? Uh. Yeah, faith.

You got any thoughts? On what? Listen to faith by George Michael. Yeah, listen to faith by George Michael. I mean... That's all it takes, really. Mm-hmm. That song is genuinely so fucking...

I got to faint, pain, think, faint, faint. It's one of those songs you can't stay still when you're hearing. Yeah, you just got to... Yeah, you agree. No, I disagree. Why do you disagree? My body does not move to faith.

So you got me... Your body doesn't move any music. You tell me you got no rhythm? Your body doesn't move. No, just like faith is not the thing to get the body pumping, you know? What is it? I don't know, there's something pretty toe-tabby about that fucking song. Yeah, like you want to just get up and start boogieing right now.

It's just from here in the hunting. Take it away, James. No. Snoop Dogg released the new song. Did he? Yeah. Tell me more. Um,

did somebody say just eat? Me? Get delivery like a G. See, hungry dogs got to eat. I get mine every day, every week. Chicken wings to the crib I'm sitting in. Burger in the low-low. I hope they kept the pickle in.

wanton on the catamaran oodles of noodles thank you my man oh my god that's awesome i hate the word wanton though yeah because of um yeah there's my wonton soup there's no wanton's in my soup you forgot the wanton in my sobs audience thinking about it it's pretty funny joke yeah Melissa McCarthy, we rate her on the cast. Yeah. Paul McCartney, we rate her on the cast. James, what about you? James is pissed off that Paul McCartney didn't get any wantons in his snoops.

Why are you so angry? When have I ever been angry? I don't know, the last 25 minutes, you've been recording? That's not anger. What is it then? Explain yourself. There's probably someone listening out there just thinking, Why is Jane so angry this car?

Yeah. And his name is me. Jamie is incredibly angry all the time and I'm sick of it. I'm fucking sick and tired of Jamie's just anger. It just really just upsets me at times and I can't deal with that anymore. I can't deal with that anymore. I can't deal with that anymore. I can't deal with that anymore.

I can't deal with that anymore. I can't deal with that anymore. I can't deal with that anymore. Okay. If none of you have anything of someone, I can't deal with that anymore. substance to say, I'm ready. Well, I have been doing something, but you don't want to know, so therefore I'm not going to... What do you mean?

No, that's exactly what I've been saying? I've posed the question multiple times and you didn't say shit. Okay, what are you been doing? I've been watching Gundam. Okay, we'll talk about that if you want. No, don't talk about that. Exactly, because Jamie... Oh, look, I like Western animation when it makes fun of Elon Musk, but when the Japanese do it, I hate it.

My name's Jamie. I don't like animation. There's not a single animation. single animation I like. Jim, fucking family guy? Oh, I guess I do like Western animation.

Family guy doesn't count though, it's a send... I like Western animation, ooh, look at me. Yeah, oh. Want a dick on a shirt? Check the description below. Hang on, I need to go to the Lou and stuff.

That's a good idea. I may as well do that. I won't be long. Gosh. It's just me and you James. I'm so sick of Jamie. Don't tell me, what's on your mind? Nothing's on my mind.

No, now's your chance while he's not here. No, I'm just tired. Spending so long about cleaning is fucking tiring. I don't have that energy. You gotta have thing. You know, I do have the... What? Desire to watch Gundam.

Yeah, you didn't really say anything about it. about it. There's no atmosphere for it. What about right now? Well, I can't say it now, can I? Yeah, you can. Why not? Well, there's not much to say.

You can do whatever you want. This is just the James and Alex cast now. Fuck the... Fuck everyone else. Then kick them and then we can have the proper good car. How's your shit that's James? You can say whatever you want, whatever shit you want to say. Gundams good.

What one are you watching though? There's so many. That's the thing. There's so many to watch. I'm just like I'm going by what's easiest to watch first because if it's on a streaming then is it movies a show what is it they do they have all all of them so there's like there's like movies that tie in with the shows it's so where did you start though I started on a show that's on Netflix but we've gone down sick animation and stuff stick animation well sick you know

Like the 90s catchphrase. That's sick, dude. Who killed me? Who killed me? Jim? I was trying to listen to James, actually. Well, who killed me then? No one gives a shit about who killed you.

We care about Gundams. Yeah, Gundams. It's because the one I watched recently was, it's a modern one, but it's completely styled like 90s, but with, like, the 80s with modern animation. So it's really nice looking. That was a really nice one. seven episodes, hour long each,

just really easy, nice. But then it's like it's Gondams, it's like how there's so much to it and I just Is there? In terms of what? Like characters and... No, like, Gundams is huge. It's huge.

It's like... What do people like about it so much, though? Is it the action? Is it the characters? What is it? It's the sick as fuck robots. Fighting each other. So it's like Japanese transformers. Well, Transformers came a result of Gundam and Macros.

They were like the influences. Right. Yeah. But with Gundam, it's strange because they have like this big timeline, which is like the main timeline. And it spans like loads of shows, loads of movies. That's the main thing. And then there's loads of different other thing.

It's just fucking confusing. I'm just getting through it. It's probably going to take me a good couple years to finish all of Gundam. It's mental. Okay, so welcome back to the second half of the cast. We answer questions from the Corncast community. If you want to ask us questions for future episodes, head over to the subreddit, the JAR Media Subreddit that is, where there's a suggestion thread where you can ask,

whatever you like. Okay, let's start from a Reddit user Lego Loppy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. He says, if each one of you had to invent a sex toy, what would it look like and how would it function? What would it be called? it would be a massive mouth and it would be called the gobbler it would be a really advanced

butler artificial intelligence android and it would be called the blowjobler just to steal a really old joke there the blowjobler's already a thing that blowjobler is a thing I'm pretty sure well like a

thing you can buy yeah those like there's not a fucking blowjobble yeah there's not a really advanced like AI

that's not what a blowjobler is anyway a blowjobbler was a ghost from it was like what's he called the guy from oceans 11

so a blow job George Clooney George Clooney yeah his butler so a blowjob It was just like. Alfred.

Oh. I suppose. Mine would be like a perfect replica of Lois from, um... All the best catchphrases. Okay, mine would be Marge then. Ooh. You'd have to go through all the different, like, sitcoms. The cartoon mums from sitcoms.

What's the one from looking more? Beth Yeah, Beth Reppica What are the ones are, though? A cartoon This is incredible Ooh, that's an obvious one

Yeah I can't think of any others now Yeah, Bob Bob from Bob's burgers I've never seen that show But um no my one

my one would be you know the way a luccazade bottle like warts what you know the way like a lucasade's squirts oh like the cat is

yeah it'll be that but in reverse so it sucks right so what does it suck in it's like a tiny whatever you want it to okay

what would the name because they'd sport suck no Lucasaid squirt because they'd suck James you got one no I've been trying to think of one because it needs to be something that can't be done wedy with Cortana robot I can't see any way there's the sex toy world like can innovate any further I can't think where do you think it peat where do you think the sex toy world peaked

you launch pad that's that the launch pad for people who don't know but I've got a new one a new answer well let james describe what a launch pad is first no no the launch pad's bad because you could only fit a flashlight to it

but now fleshlights are old school so now what was the launch pad James describe you you get you'll get your chunky second generation iPad and then you fit it into a plastic frame where you put your flashlight and then you watch

you um you have to lift up and down the whole iPad though you pound the iPad but did you have to move the whole iPad though or was there some sort so there was nothing clever about it

it was just like taping a fucking flashlight to an iPad but I'm sure now that the technology to advance where there's like launch pads where you can connect like buck machine

to a video so then it replicates all of the stuff in the video i are well really to your launch pad practically like i don't know how sex toy world can innovate further damn i don't shame you don't answer didn't you uh yeah the oculus rift damn damn the oculus whipped wait connected to the self-sucking launchpad that's that's the the the sex toy world or you know the um the booty blaster 6,000

what okay cherry you know how I had one final joke it was just you know how you know whenever we do anything good in science

it's because like the military wants it maybe that's how we'll finally perfect artificial intelligence because porn wants it Cherry Rabbit Loss says what are your thoughts on GTA5 being milked to death yet again and being re-released on PlayStation 5

are you just as sick to death of the news as the rest of us? No, it's peak capitalism. It's a money printing machine, so why wouldn't it? It's pretty lame, but... It is lame. Whatever. There's two generations now that it's been ported to.

In the time, it's... Between GTA coming out, GtA5 coming out and now, they released GTA, back in the day where it used GTA-free, GTA Vice City. GtA San Andreas and Gtay 4 in the same time between now and GtA 5. I guess games had to be like, they weren't really online as much. They weren't online services. They need to make another game. They need to make...

Yeah, live services make cash. Yeah. Yeah, but they can just make GTA like an MMO, like GTA online like separate, like remove it from GTA 5 and then just make a GtA online online. Yeah, yeah. You have to be careful though. like surely I don't know the numbers of how many people

play GT online like every month or whatever but how long can it truly go on you know a lot it can keep it won't end almost indefinitely I would imagine so you don't think it's just ever going to be another GTA no I think

I don't I think they'll do another one but it'll be in the same pain like Red Dead Online is nowhere near as popular nor does it receive as frequent updates as GTA online? Yeah, they've kind of abandoned it. They haven't, like, updated it in any meaningful way in months. That's way before quarantine.

That's because the player base of Redden and the player base of GTA is different. One is 12, the other one is probably 23. Rich ones profitable, not the 23-year-old. 23-year-olds have expendable income, but... No, but kids. I guess. It's also just less popular. like the in general nothing's gta it's kind of lame there because like that's just what it is now i

guess because the gta before had like multiple single-player expansions red dead one had an awesome single-player expansion we just don't get that anymore i guess that must be like online updates that's all it is sad james we have a question for you From stage D.K. What does James think of his evolution from the quiet one no one paid attention to to the undeniable chatter the cast with a massive following?

Uh, what massive following? All those people outside your house right now, James, what? You, me and Al? Yeah, you too. Yeah, I love you. Any thoughts? I was, I was just a retard. I just... I was?

Yes, I still am. I don't know what to say. Like, how old were we when we first started, you are? Six. There probably is someone out there who's going to start podcasting when they're like eight.

I just do it for fucking effort. Yeah, I don't know. And his name was Joe Rogan. Five years. I was a young kid with no confidence, no self-esteem, no love, just nothing. I was just a fucking husk of nothing but watching anime.

And then after he took this pill, this one secret pill that changed his life. After you bought those supplements of Alex James's website, everything changed. And you turned really red. We have a more important question though, James, for you. What? From party work.

He says, James' question. If the Madagascar characters were tanks, what tanks would they be? I don't know. I don't like. Madagascar enough to actually know how to compare the characters explain

Alex to me give me, no, give me three words give me free words, he's the main man he's the most popular one He's the most popular one Popular, though, he's kind of dumb Dumb, what popular dumb, the cool one

The obvious choice The obvious choice if someone's like Yeah, that's the cool one I want to see Okay then he'd be he'd probably be a show German tank, I'd be a Sherman, okay. Now give me Marty. Nervous, uh, undecided. Marty isn't nervous. Oh sorry, I was getting confused with Melman. I always do that. Marty's, he's actually quite confident. He knows what he wants. He wants freedom.

Yeah. He's, he's loyal to a certain degree. But he's also a dime a dozen as Madagascar two proves. Okay. So he would be a. T-34. Okay. Okay, now give me the

dot the big one. Yes. Large and in charge. Yep. Got attitude. Yep. In a relationship

with a different species. Okay, that would definitely be a tiger tank and then the last one. Melman, he's a neurotic, kind of unreliable but intelligent one.

Unreliable but intelligent. undeniably got skills, but they're just in a myopic field. That's a difficult one, actually. I'd probably go over Panther then, because that works. Tiger Panther, they're the duo. So that works. Okay, you've got my answer. Sherman, T-34, Tiger Panther.

I'm just going to say a word for it. Because Volt Tech, no, not USA. I was going to say that YouTube what's his name? Vickle-Dah-Lub-E-Tac Review-T-E-S-A, yeah. Absolute legend. VoltTech, A-U, they said.

If you had to change your names, what would you each change it to? Alternatively, if you had to change another cast member's name, who would you pick, and what would you change it to? Jamie, Beast. Just like, legally, Beast.

He's Belman. I changed. I changed my name. To what? Lawrence. Lawrence. Lawrence. Lawrence is the sickest, it's the sickest fuck name.

When was the last time you knew were Lawrence? Oh, yesterday. Lawrence in the year under me in primary school, I remember. Yeah, wasn't he a bit of a prick? Was he? He liked Halo, I think. Did he? Did he?

I remember. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. That's wrong. If I have a kid, I'm going to call them Lauren. Boom. Would you change anyone else's names on the cast? I would change your name, James.

I change, I know, I change Jamie's names, and I can be Jim, which is how it legally should be. James is legally. Yes. My name's Jamie, and my nickname's Jim, even though that does not make sense. Wait, before anyone else answers, I need to bring this up now before I forget.

For everyone who is claiming that I create, I created Pissadik we actually did a vote on the JAR Media Twitter and I think the results speak very Okay what was the result

So the question was who created Pissadik Yeah 41% said James We've got to consider here Alex That whenever you do a poll on Twitter I always come out the top That's literally the ball Since when

literally whenever when you have this thing you're obsessed with just like I've just I'm you're probably sitting on the toilet taking a shit and you're just like

I'm just going to blame something on James and then you just make a poll of it on Twitter and magic lo and behold James is fucking proven to be whatever shit you thought of yeah but James

41% versus 39% and then Jim and Rubin have a shared 10% so they're equal to blame no we're equally void no but the fact is you did Alex is you mentioned it on IHE

yeah because I was inspired by you and I just never told you no no that's not true at all I do not make piss a dick anyone can look on Twitter and see the truth the truth it's gone on IECHE's channel

and you can find the truth but yeah you guys want to change your names to anything aside from Pissadick Um No, I don't think I would change my name, actually I'd change who Euben's name I changed my name to a grease lightning

I changed my name to a Master Chief That's not funny Yeah, that's just kind of cringe I just thought it was cool, alright Slip Bob mod That's why I'd change Jim Yeah, bro

I'd change Rubin's name to Portie Ivoie. Lego Lifestyle asks this. What are Lego names I'm noticing? Yeah. What characters from What characters from the Justice League would each of the JAR Media members be? The Justice League.

Yeah, Justice Seek. So, you know, Batman, Spider-Man. Um, James would be Hellboy. No, I feel like James would be Martian Man Hunter. Martian Milf Hunter. Yeah, exactly. Shit, I'm going to write that down, the Martian Milf Hunter. Well, when we do find Martian life, you can guess what I'm going to. Mars needs moms

Who else then? James is sorted Um Alex would be Wonder Woman You know Yeah I'd be the Flash from the Justice League movie The one that likes Rick and Morty

Wait The Flash likes Rick and Morty Yeah Do you not remember that In Justice League No He's like watching Rick and Morty

He comes in And throws a battering at him And he's like Whoa I don't really know anybody Do you mind if I join? Fine That's a movie

Yeah That's Alex then Alex is that one Reuben is the Herobin is the herobrine and I'm Spider-Man Gwen Lord of Sender

You're quinged Lord of being a quince Fuck you if you're going to be like that Did you say Okay if you guys don't want to interact With the DC question for DC fans only I don't even I can't name more than one

DC characters I can only name the ones that are like in the movie and even then. What about Shazam? Huh? I've not even watched that fucking film. You know the character they're right. I know who Shazam is.

I know of him. Speckle has a little story for us. Hey, Mingers. Old boy, howdy, do I have a JAR Media Posdak story for you? My mom and I went on a vacation for her to go see her friends, and I haven't had much to do. I mostly just played video games and watched the corncast. My mum overheard a discussion about donuts.

And it's... Sorry, I just flick my phone and lost what the fucking question was. And if it's ethical to take a bite out of a donut and leave it, she found James really smart and the voice of reason of the group. Since then, I've gotten more comfortable listening to it in front of her. But I still get really paranoid over discussions like dipping your balls in sugar water. She used to get really upset about people swearing in videos I watch. But she says it's okay because you guys have...

a British accent. I just thought you'd find that interesting. How does it feel to know you have a fan in their 40s? Cheers. Wait, what? Because, uh, my donut in the very bad. Oh man, nice work guy or girl. They might feel a bit awkward on this one because of that sex toy question, so apologies if you're listening to that.

But we don't swear, when do we swear? Yeah, I don't fucking know, like never. Cringe. T.W. Shand asks, please can the boys define the limits of James' food tastes? We know he doesn't like texture changes, for example, but his stated he likes loads of foods which are two different textures it's full of contradictions the man is no no no explain give me oh no what no when okay no you you guys give me a food that has two different textures which I don't like jammy dodgers I don't

like jammy jodgers yeah Jamie likes jamper cakes do not call jammy jodgers shut up Jamie jaffer cakes do not have different textures yeah jaffer cakes do not have different textures They do. No, because chocolate on top is hard. Goop in the middle with you. Hang on. What are we talking about? Jamie Dodgers.

Which one are we talking about? Oh, okay. No, no. Okay. Textures is not the right word. It's how firm they are. Okay? Not texture.

How firm. Like, a jaffer cake is all soft. Consistency, then. Yes, consistency. A chaffer cake is all soft. That's, that's fine. Okay. What other things?

What other things do I like? Which is breaking the walls. Okay. Come on. uh pizza pasta with beans pasta with beans pasta beans is all soft

unless you do the pasta al dante you don't want to do that el dante's inferno see you can't even have you don't even think of one well because

you know what this is going to have to go back and write another question with examples because you know we're making the claim why are you acting like we're the ones What is the question? I forgot.

There wasn't really a question. It was just, please can the boys define the limits of James's food taste? How would you know the limits of my food? I don't even know my limit. I've been... Well, the limit is anything

that's too flavour-some. Oh no, that's bullshit. You think I don't like flavour, but... Yeah, if it's too complicated for his baby mouth, he immediately gets out his emergency beans and pasta

that he keeps in a Tupperware box. No, that's not true at all. I like flavour. explain what type of thing I don't like that's got too much flavour it's not so much what you don't like it's more of the things that you do like like yeah what don't I like

beans and pasta I don't know I just I even I eat beans and pasta because it's like I've got work in 10 minutes what's fucking there are other things like beans on toast is literally faster because toast you know bread is toasted faster than pasta is boiled yeah but I just I just don't fancy that

and it's just like I fancy pasta so I'm just gonna stick beans on it fucking easy I mean, I feel like this question has just made more questions be asked. Like? Like, what are the limits of your tastes? I just like food. I've been eating more varied food recently. I have no fucks of food.

If it's food, I'm going to eat it. Do you like garlic? Yes. I like garlic. Why wouldn't I? I don't know. I'm just asking. Fine.

you can't even answer what do you mean we weren't we didn't ask the question you don't even know my limits how can you know my limits okay what's my limit then yeah what's Jim's limit

slurm slime I love slum no Jamie's limit is anything from Casper's because Jamie only ever fucking buys a milkshake I imagine that cold fat you know like having to like

suck on or chew on particular unpleasant cold like fat it's not cold it's warm no but i mean i'm talking about like actual like fat from meat from meat you know like cold slimy fat would probably uh yeah where it's like um it's sort of gone it's congealed and gone jelly-like and like liquid kind of leaks out of it and goes all like bubbly no no i love it when there's like a change in texture where the top is like crispy and the rest is all slop

that's good that's good do you know i know Alex's limit i know Alex's limit Alex and Ruben's limit, actually. What? I don't... Was I even there? I don't think you were there. Alex, would you have eaten scorpion there? No.

Exactly. What reason did I have for eating scorpion, you know? I almost giving me any money for it. I don't want to do it. I'll just eat something else. It's because it's experiments of your food. People eat that in other countries, Rubens. You should try their fucking...

Well, we eat stuff in this country. Like beans on toast. Why wouldn't you try scorpion? why wouldn't you you've got it right there it was a particularly gross form if it was I would have a nibble if it was on a stick and was a bit more crunchy but the fact that it was in a can and it was like

watery and it was in brine yeah I remember the taste of the crunchy legs and I would eat again they were quite nice but I wouldn't eat the main body when all of its intestines fucking pus out in that gunk

not nice honestly that's probably one of my favorite jar media thumbnail is just James eats a scorpion. Complete non sequins it. So would you eat a tarantula? Um, I don't really want to eat a tarantula. I actually quite like them.

That's your limits then. That's your limits. Yeah, that's your limits from. Oh yeah, that famous cuisine, that famous British cuisine. You go down to... It's not about it. No, it's nothing to do with country, Alex. You just eat food from anywhere.

I don't give fuck. It's food. So what? You go down to see. same reason by a packet of tarantulas, do you? No, okay, no, no, no. So let's say you go to Vietnam. Are you not going to eat their food? What?

Yeah, I would eat their food. So what's the problem? The problem is I'm not in Vietnam at the moment. No, but if I go to, like, if I can eat that stuff here, I'm going to try it because I like trying things and food. I've eaten, like, um, Jim, do you remember these? There's, like, dried insects, like, cricket. and stuff like that.

Yeah, and the meal worms and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why I had them, but I did try one. Well, mine weren't there? I think they were yours, actually, like a joke gift or something like that. It was like a weird birthday present.

They just taste like wheaterbigs without milk. Yeah, that's the worst part. It's like, all the bits just get stuck in your mouth. Yeah, like the wings and stuff. Yeah. Sounds really foul. It's not even foul, though, because there's no, there's nothing aside from just the dried, crispyness.

It's just airy. Yeah, there's just nothing to it. Maybe a nice, big chunky one would do. Vivid Operation 48. Um, has a question for us. Hey, Jire, I had a question for all of you, but I see Alex. I saw on Alex's letterbox that he rated, Troll's World Tour.

I have not yet seen this movie, but when it was released on demand, and not in theaters due to COVID, it was a massive box office success. In America, at least, that's where I'm from. Even after accounting for the fact that they sold one copy per household, as opposed to multiple tickets per household, if that makes sense. My question is, do you think this will impact the movie theatre industry? If so, how do you feel about blockbusters being released straight to your home as opposed to the theatre?

Anyway, keep up the good work. Thoughts? I prefer going to cinema. it's not nice about the event of going to a cinema I like the choice though yeah yeah I like exactly what I was going to say there's some movies I really feel like I don't need to see on the big screen I just wonder if like you know if you were to release films in both the cinema

and you know just straight to people's homes or whatever while the film would still make money cinemas would lose money and then they would have to downscale and that whole it would just shrink I guess that's what I haven't sent the whole idea of going to the cinema would shrink It kind of already is though Like well yeah It's that news about AMC in America

That theater chain But they've lost like billions During COVID And they might shut down As a result of it or something Well They've always been like It's been difficult for years

It's just been on a downward trend Until like the 2000s When it's like to go back up again You know It's not like it used to be in the 40s where it was the biggest

one of the most ridiculous money makers in the world yeah yeah sure it's kind of like that now but just for a small select group like Disney

who just have like these ridiculous movies like Universal with these Jurassic Park movies that just for some reason make all the money I don't know yeah so the only people

that would get hurt by it well I don't I don't know I guess it would just be cinema I don't really go shit the one the biggest problem I can see with it is how do you stop the the like torrenting side because it's you can't really get like good quality footage from like a cinema

when movies are only in the cinema but when they're released on digital people just mine the data and just upload the video footage so I don't know how you can stop that but I also don't know how much that really affects you know like them the intake can you really mind the footage though if it's streaming well yeah I know for a fact that like loads of the movies that were released on

like iTunes um are on torrenting sites all that kind of stuff but I'm pretty sure there's ways there's certain sites that have a video player but there's no way to actually download that video but no matter what you can't download you can't screenshot something on um Netflix for example

can you know it's like you can't go on Netflix now and download any of them but you just can't so why if that was the case how can they that stops piracy because there's nobody to actually get the data from on Netflix unless you hack it in

I can scream record Netflix and it records the video and audio well you can't screenshot via just like Windows built in but you know it's but you could easily find your way around anything that they throw at you

yeah I think it depends the movie to be honest like that new nolan movie i feel like wood actually like it kind of belongs in the cinema on the big screen it's how he wants his movies to be seen and there are lots of directors like that but some of the smaller scale stuff like intimate like marriage story you know i'm fine watching that on netflix yeah i feel like i need to go to the cinema to see that necessarily well there's a very little spectacle involved i guess that's what it would be cinema spectacle shit that i want to see yeah everything else don't care I'm not just cinema to watch the quarter-guergete release trailers to be first.

That's a spectacle. Okay, let's end on this one then from Standing in the Haze, who says, There's a lot of hype around a potential Mass Effect trilogy remaster. Although I'm a big fan of Mass Effect, I'm not that interested, and I'd prefer a more intensive overhaul to update gameplay. What does the cast think on this and what should be done with the Mass Effect IP? bin it um

I like the idea of a re-release but I'm kind of with this guy they would have to do something about the gameplay in one at least I think three's all right um just about and two's like a bit slow but

what if they resident evil remade they weren't like actually yeah imagine if they resident evil remade the trilogy but actually like finished

fixed it yeah It'll be the same type of thing as the new Command and Conquer remastered I was reading about why they went that direction for Mass Effect 3 because I'd forgotten it was apparently all because of that leak like the game leaked and the story was all going to be around

like dark energy and stuff like that but because it leaked and they were so upset about it they shifted internally and changed the story wildly because they thought it like ruined the surprise so The Last of Us? Yeah. Like all of the Last of Us lately, but I suppose it was too late by then.

Too late. But yeah, MassFet 1, I can't see playing that game unless it was really highly updated. That game is super old now. And it's quite shit, actually. Like, besides outside of the actual quest, it's like there's not that much great. I like MassFet 1 in my memory. Yeah. The way the structure of the story is cool with the different planets and they're like,

it's all one connected story, but each planet is its own side story too. I just like that. Oh my, no, there's no, no, no, no, think about it. There's no way they can release some remaster that game with the Mako. No, impossible. They can fix the Mako, surely. No, they'd have to remake the entire fucking game to fix the Mako. That thing's fuck.

Yeah, so I'm saying, remake the whole thing. It sucks. Yeah, and as far as where to take the franchise, I would be okay with just putting it away for a long time, honestly. You need space between Andromeda. You need to let people forget. It's been a while since Andromeda, though. But yeah, that would be, that's why it would be good to do, like, a proper re-release

where, you know, update it and make it playable. And then work on, like, an actual Mass Effect game where you don't have, like, a B-Team making it, and you just, follow the formula of what made the game's work originally. You return to formula? Yeah, return to the fucking formula. Back to formula? Back to formula? Yeah. Or just accept that most franchises

that we, that were good growing up are shit now and we just got to live in that future and look towards the new things. Look to the future? Hope for the future. It's getting cringier. That's it then fellas. We're done. That's episode 13.

Why? Why? Why? Well, Jim. Because I got diarrhea, that's why. Oh. Ah. That's been episode 13.

Very funny. Oh, come on. Jesus. This fucking irony has to end soon. Alright. Oh. All right. All right. Any final words for I fucking end this? Fuck you.