JAR Media Posdact - Mario Bros. Invade - JARCAST Episode 189

Episode Date: October 21, 2019

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Hey, it's me, Mario, and welcome to this episode. My Luigi impression is way worse than... Shall I be Luigi, then? Let me hear it. What's like a... Oh no, I'm way better at Mario. Hey Luigi. That's not a Mario you meant to do.

That was Luigi's voice, huh? Hey Mario. Yeah, like that. Hey Mario, are you going to help me out over here? What does Luigi sound like in that show? Oh, Mario's like, um Hey, it's me, Mario No, not like that too

Hey, it's a me Oh, your guy, here, Mario Hey, Luigi, how are you doing over there, my friend? Oh, Mario What's the matter, Luigi? You got a problem over there? You go find a grumble. Hey, where's it a princess of peach?

I'm gone too fine for her. Oh, fuck you! What's he a problem, Luigi? I just tried to save the world so many times. Mama. Hey Mario and Luigi. You want to stop being such bozos and help me over here? So long, gay bousie?

Oh, why you're picking up by me tail? Oh, Mario, let me go. Oh! Is that you, Peach? I'm gonna save you. Hey, hello, welcome to the jackass. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the JAR Media Podcast. What is wrong with you, Alex?

Oh, you want to know what's wrong? Yeah. I just, I'm really starting to feel the pressure of JAR. I just, I really feel like we've been on a real role lately. And with each episode being funnier than the last, I just don't know how long we can keep it going. That is a really tough situation. I know. How have you managed it this far, Alex?

You're part of it as well, you idiot. How about we stop being little peat? Thanks for swearing, bleeping it yourself. Yeah, no worries. Hi, we're three massive peeps. We're here to say, thank you to the patrons over at Patreon for supporting

our um what do you call it crusade crusade. Crusades effort not group collective and if you pledge 10 grand or more you get a primary role in our upcoming documentary ULT

oh yeah there's a documentary as well I don't forget that No, it's not a documentary, it's a C-U-L-T. Let's not sell things we ain't doing. No, because you've got... Wait, are we doing the C-U-L-T, or is that cancelled? You're forgetting what you do with a C-U-L-T. You make the C-U-L-T, you do crazy things,

then you run away and then make a documentary about it, so everyone knows a while it. Then you get more money. I'll just edit that out, don't worry. Cool. Don't want to scare people. James, who are you? My name is James.

Cool. And who are you? You want to know who I am? Well, buckle up. I'm Alex. Is that it? I could have done a whole thing, but I just, from a look on your face, you really look devastated by my response. I was just thirsty as well.

I wasn't trying to, like, stop. Well, maybe you should drink is just thirsty. Where are we going to begin today? because we got some juicy, juicies. I know where to begin. Where? So, imagine, we're sat here last week whenever we did this. And I look over to my left or right, depending on where I was sat at the time.

Hmm. And James out here putting the time, the effort, the work in to get in... The slim-line beard, they call it. The sleared. Yeah, the sleared. But James, he doesn't like his sleared. Yeah, and that genuinely upsets me. It upsets me as well.

Makes you want to smack you in the eye. Yeah, it makes me want to smack you in the other eye. And then I'll be blind. Thanks. Yep. Now, what Jimmy is on about, Jimmy Boy over here, is have a look at my face. Talk to the mic. You can see. Unless you're listening on Spotify or...

Yeah, if you're listening, just a man. imagine that James has facial hair. Or go on Instagram, my Instagram, there's pictures there. Nice little plug. Now, after a week, I get quite a large amount of facial hair. And Jamie boy and Alex boy over here want me to grow a beard. I've just got such good beard jeans. No, listen, it's not like...

I don't want you to grow a beard for you. I want you to grow a beard for me and me, us I want you to grow a beard independent thoughts like it wasn't like we discussed this separately we just happen to fall into the same

opinion which unites us as a workforce this all came about because the day had a long day at work and during the day my facial hair is long enough

that I can feel it and it's uncomfortable which as Alex has said to me today is a part of facial hair it gets to a point. Yeah, yeah, no, it's just a rule of facial hair where if you want it to go past a certain length, there are going to be periods of discomfort.

You have to sit there and just accept that it's going to be itchy and horrible for a few days, but once you, you know, pass the event horizon, then basically once you turn into a man. Yeah, it's a test of sorts. And I'm currently going through that period, and I hate it. I'm uncomfortable. Is it itchy, though?

Yes, I can feel it, and it's horrible, and I want to go home and shave it. but they want me to grow it more. Jim and I think James should grow a beard, or at least try it. No doubt. And James is like, no, I'm too scared to do that. So, but then you suddenly, before we start recording, we're like, wait, why don't we let the Jowlings decide?

So? You know what I should do? On the YouTube video, you can have the vote thing? Yeah. Should I have a vote within the card within this YouTube video? So if you're an audio listener, just head over to. to YouTube.com slash jarmedia go on this episode

and then cast your... Go on the card and cast your vote because this is the deciding factor. So judging how this is... You have to promise here and now that the word of jarling is absolute. Yeah, you're gonna

have to... You have to promise now that if the vote comes to get a beard you have to have a beard, let's say at least till the end of November. Yeah, yeah, because that's It's November anyway. Yeah, so you would have to, yeah. Okay, so James is...

He said make it official. If the Jarlings vote, I will go like a month or two without shaving. But I'll try and keep it tight. You're allowed to trim? Yep. You're just like I am not. I'll trim when I get... But because this episode is going out next week, I'm going to cut it today because it's...

Okay, so you start from the result of the vote. Yes. That makes sense. I'll do that. I'll see what happens. I'll try and trim it, keep it clean, but jarlings decide on my side, don't let me grow a beard, please.

Or be on the side of Alex and myself. The correct side of history. The correct side of history. So what if the beard looks shit on me? Can I cut it early? It won't. I can tell. I can tell already.

It will not. Yeah. If anything, it will make us just, want to pull your pants down and just suck at the very least let's see what happens maybe even gobble slightly mm-hmm

well that's almost that's almost a given I mean it's kind of like one big package included in that is I will get rid of the stash what just the beard what no you want to have like a fucking chin strap no you need the stash

you need the stash as well yeah because it's not a mustache when you have the whole beard like the Beard is included with the mustache. Yeah. Unless, nah. One I will let you do is just shave the chin. Right.

So you've got to look at the Captain Price. From God. Yeah. You want me to do a Captain Price? No, I just say normal beard. No, but if James is going to shave something off, then it's got to be the Captain Price. Or at least do a funny one like a cell patch.

Oh dear Like Marcus Phoenix Seems with a soul patch So what is the cat? What is the catarotise? What? He actually has the beard and the stash Kind of in one

It's mutton chops Yeah With a moustache Yeah Oh, so it stops So it makes him look like Me Numb from Star Wars Who's that?

Lando's Chewy Oh yeah Suppose so Yeah What would be the creepiest facial hair on James? Because everyone's face is different based on the facial hair that will make them creepiest. What would be the creepiest for James?

A soul patch? I don't think it can get creepier. That might be the creepiest thing anyone can have. When I get home day, don't we just cut the shave and just leave them and take a picture? You could grow it into like a little, like devil soul patch.

You see, that would be my... less creepy yeah yeah if it was just there we okay well the decision's been made James with a huge mustache will work though yeah would you'd look like a you would just look like a cowboy yeah but the thing is I think I'm not muscular enough to pull off like a captain price you don't need to be the that that the the facial hair becomes the muscle yeah it gives you ain't nobody looking at your muscles when you got facial hair like that yeah It's irrelevant.

Yeah, it's like this guy is just a boss-ass homie. So what by all it fits? Is this my rest of my life dictated? I'm just, I'm not a beard boy. Yeah, and you're sending you like, man, I'm so warm when I go out of cold. After that point, if you fall in love with it, then yeah, you can keep doing it. I mean, obviously. This could be a big changing point for JAR.

Well, yeah. For you more personally. This could be the start of a new James. Could be. Could be. Out with the James and him with the Jordan. No, he's like a more masculine name that suits the beard. Chad?

Chad. And speaking of moving on from a previous version of yourself, having you moved on from a personal item attached to yourself? Many JAR fans from the OG JAR back quite a long time ago, over 100 episodes ago, 150 probably. Well, remember the infamous story of the anime statue. The anime statue. That is a deep, deep cut.

If you don't know, when I know, how old was I then? Like, 18. 1980? You were still riding a moped, weren't you? I was. In my peak anime kind of face... That's still ongoing. Fuck, obviously not.

I... There's nothing funny of you, then. you're trying to deny your um wibish nature when do i ever watch anime this is my point the thing is off the cast james is much more forthright about his uh anime fondness what do you mean how well like on the walk here we were describing something from love death and robots an incredibly animeish episode and we described it as anime and you said oh i'll love it then your words there's not No, there's nothing wrong of like an anime. No, there's not.

I love anime. There is, we got it. We got it. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. So, in my peak anime period, when I was pretty much a reboot, I kind of, I was browsing 4chan and I was going on those statue fed. And I saw a statue, and I was like, yeah, I'll want it. So I bought it, got it shipped over, and the whole story was how I had to unwrap it in a fucking post office to fill it in my bag.

and ride home and it was drama so what's it a statue of a cat girl a cat girl from any specific thing or just a game

what's the game some game I'm not going into any I do know it I don't think I've ever seen it you don't want to no really want to you never took it out of the box

did you no because it's like I have to turn that story and I'm to take it in my parents so I was just like it's going in the back of the closet I'm never, ever opening it.

You literally put it in the closet. Yes. I kept it there for literal years. Now, my passions have moved on. And recently, I've been wanting to do things. So I needed some money. So I was like, what can I sell? What in my life can I sell?

He sold like everything. And that was his last thing. I can't sell this. He just needed that extra buck. So I was like, You know, I don't know... I could sell the anime statue. I don't know how much money I'm going to get.

How much did you buy it for? I bought it for... When it first came out, I pre-ordered it for about 80 pound. Pre-ordered it? 80 quid? Fuck. Yeah, I pre-ordered it for about 80 pounds. Costs a bit more for shipping and all that, but, you know, it's happened a long time ago, so I don't care.

So I was wondering how I could get rid of the statue. When I came across this website, there was like a... A website. website type thing. No, not that one. It's like where you just submit your statue and I'll give you a price. And this company was all like

50 pounds and I was just like no, I'm not letting it go for that cheap. So I went on this website which I have used before. And it is like anime statue equivalent. Anime statues. So this is the first one you've ever bought

though. Yeah, but I've been on website. Is it the only one you've ever bought? Yeah. Have you ever added any? to the car and nearly thought about buying one but cancelled at the last minute

no this was the only one because after my experience of that I was too embarrassed okay so there's this website it's called my figure collection it's like a brick set for Lego that type thing where you show your collection

now this is like my best chance to sell it so I was just like go on the ad on my lunch break at work just went on it made an account and I just tried to sell it I was just like, never opened, want, gone. One gone. Within 40 minutes, someone already fucking replied.

It was just like, would you post it to Poland? And I was just like, I'm at work. I will try to short, get a quote on delivery on the weekend. So when it got to the weekend, I went back on the website, another person either, like replied saying, would you ship it to America? So I was just like, oh shit. So I did it all. and the people one of them bought it instantly hundred pounds 20 pound of it instantly

so from this do you think you're going to become like a you know uh what's what's that antiques road show glue the glue guys the glue guys are you going to become the glue guy no you're not going to go on the road and like search the stores for anime statues for antique anime statues and sell the thing is imagine a show like producing the exact same way, but about nothing about anime statues. The good thing about this was the fact that I never opened it, the fact that I quite literally

kept it in a cool place, unopened in mint condition. Yeah, a true collector, a true... The thing is, I feel like when you got that statue was a turning point, a potential turning point in your life. You know? Like where...

In what way? Where there was a split and a new universe was made. And in that universe, James is like, full-on. anime we play right body pillows yeah that could have happened too embarrassed from my experience of that one statue to like go any further that's what is funny to me about the story it's like it the way you talk about it is funnier than the actual thing yeah like the fact you are like you're like so on the fence about the whole thing whereas like if if from the beginning you're like yeah i got this anime statue and i display it proudly on my desk it just be like whatever i guess the

story's over it's just got the thing you like but the fact you're like torn you're like it's like loki from the avengers or something you could say is he goody is you baddie i don't similar than that the thing is a character is like uh that's torn he's like the main like luke then from the return of the july he's like uh the main avatar from avatar yeah yeah The thing is The company that made this statue It's like a really high quality one They're like one of the top ones you can get

They have the best stuff So the statue is actually like really nice looking Because it's like high quality And that's probably the only reason why I actually sold it so soon Because it's like a really good one What size were the cat girls Well tits Oh never really looked

I didn't do the... Don't lie to me Yeah, we know why you bought it I never did the chin to nipple calculation, okay? No, but estimate, average. Medium? Average. Cats don't have big tits.

See, because you didn't say what it is, it's going to leave people to speculate big time. They're about medium. I didn't look at them because it was in a box. Don't even... No, no, I hardly looked at it. No, the character. Yeah, the character.

You would have looked at the character then. Medium. So medium. It's kind of medium. So there wasn't the like stereotype anime thing. Big huge breasts. Yeah, it wasn't like that. There's a bit more tasteful than that. Because I'm not gonna- You're forcing us to imagine so you can imagine the type of thing where you're imagining with their imagination Let's just say it's not so I wouldn't have bought it if it was that bad because I'd have to show my parents would see it This isn't something well I'm totally embarrassed my parents seen. It's just like right. Oh, they saw it. I know It reminds me of when I was playing, I was playing Final Fantasy 13 in the living room,

and my parents came in while I was playing in. I just felt, I felt embarrassed. Yeah. Because it was like, it was a really, like, campy scene where, like, a tiny bird was flying around. The tiny choker, baby was, like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And, like, the guy was like, what are you doing, you crazy bird? It was just... No, that was the black stereotype character, so it would have been like,

What you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. and then another character comes in and is like wow this is the best yeah that's why I always thought that shit was fucking lame so the anime statue is gone that arc is over I'm a new man now yeah so that that part ends and beard part begins yeah now the chadening can commence

is it bad that I sold the statue for tools for my garage no no that's the most shathing thing you could possibly do this is actually the the Chaddating tation because I quite literally the literal second the guy paid me as it's like buying tools instantly in order there we go should we just should just call you Chad from now on like just change your name to it all right Chad well I have a topic go ahead that would mean to talk about for a while hang on let me just whip it from my pocket to remind me of some things

Oh So get this Recently we had a Family member Come over from New Zealand And they brought with them Some confectionery Some sweeties

And New Zealand sweets Go one or two ways They're either Random marshmallow Or like Really hard

Teethbreaking sweets That you have to chill on for like five minutes to, like, eat one. Like hard-boiled sweets. Not like that, they're more like... Like, imagine Harrybow, but, like, really hard. So it kind of like sports mix.

A hard sports mix. Something like that. If you're from America or anywhere that isn't the UK or New Zealand, I'm sorry. But point is, in this, like, array of different confectionery that was, um, brought over, there was a certain one.

that drew my eye called the sour Fioha F-E-I Fijoa Fjoa Yeah, it's not Mexican

But, you know I didn't speak Maori or whatever Fajoha No, Fajua Fajua Fajoha It's like a fruit

A Fajua is a fruit Fajua That's not the normal thing You can just go into A Tesco and be like Oh, I'll have one Fajua please If you were in New Zealand

Imagine being on the self-scan like trying to find for joe it's just not going to happen but on the on the cover it looks like cucumber or something

I thought they were cucumbers when I first saw it and for some reason because you know every bit of confection it has its character or something British things love doing it

where like foods have a character cartoon character for the for joa it's a crocodile you're sure it's not an alligator No, it's by Australia, sorry. So it's a crocodile, isn't it?

I'm going to assume it's a crocodile based on its smile. Oh, alligate is a bit more unhappy. Yeah, yeah. This is all irrelevant. Of course, because Fijewas are so rare in daily life... In daily English life. Daily English life. You're forgetting that other people live in different...

location. But the ultimate point being, this flavor, when I tried one of these sweeties, triggered an intense flashback because flavor has such a unique

correspondence with memory. James is obsessed with really bad garbage takeaway pizza because of the nostalgia connection. Yeah. You take a bite of that either burn overly cooked, soggy pizza and it just

whips you back in time and you suddenly you're reassured with all those nostalgic feelings Is that why I binge eat pasta? Yeah, probably. I feel like everyone's got an equivalent thing but the moment my my teeth sunk into a sour for joa it was actually kind of creepy

because it was it was like eating my childhood it was really strange because I don't believe you no honestly it transported me back to being a child because that because the taste and smell and everything to do with it is so unique and throughout my life I've just had this weird craving for this unique taste that you can't experience anywhere and I've always my whole life as an adult has been like what is that indescribable taste

that I'm craving but I don't even know what it is I'm craving So the moment I tasted one of these things It was like Just years of anguish My backstory It's like attack on Titan It's all a mystery

And suddenly you get After so many issues Just so many seasons I don't know what he's like So many seasons of mysteries And you finally get an answer to something And it just filled in So much backstory for me

I've got loads of weird like food taste related memories like this. What is the memory that you remembered after eating that memory food? Probably talking to do with bullying you.

No, no, it flung me back in time because I was too young. I was three when I left New Zealand. But it flung me back in time to my first memory or what I perceive as my first memory. Which is being sat on a

swing set in New Zealand. Doing a 360 all the way around. Not doing a 360 all the way around, but with the view being like an oceanic kind of landscape, obviously being Taranaki or something. Yeah. And that's like the beginning point of my brain.

So of course, being able to experience my origin through the form of sour for Joas is strangely addictive and I'm gonna have to buy quite a few of these to get it out my system but then but then you're wooing it for you I'd say don't until like two years time then do again no because what if it does each time I eat one like memento or something like just start triggering all these different gaps in my mind and be like oh yeah that thing happened oh yeah that thing happened what if you discover like the the the answer to a mystery no

because it's the clue I've said before about that time I browned out and experienced my whole life again, right? Yeah, yeah. I literally saw my life flash before my eyes again.

Through the Fajua. Through the brown. No, through the brown. And these Fajouas are like helping me access. It's like a, what's that Bradley Cooper movie where he's popping pills? and unlocking his brain.

Limitless. Yeah. These are limitless pills in real life. For me. Specifically for you and only you. Well, I don't know. If you're curious, see if you can find it. Is that why it's so clean downstairs?

I pop a salve for Joe and I'm just like, I'm ready. I can do anything. But I'm not crazy in this. I swear to you, there are certain things that would be like, oh, that totally links with that, like chalk ice is to me. Launches me back to primary school.

I've got a penguin memory of trying to get a second penguin. Wagon wheels pulls me right back. Cheese string pulls me right back. Pepper army. pulls me right back. I don't have any of that. We've eaten the fucking pizza that you're on avel. Everyone's brains remember things differently.

Food doesn't do it. For me, the two biggest memory things are music and food. because what you're eating at a time I guess the information is just subconsciously stored somewhere and it associates like the way your brain remembers information with things like that at least for me

in a way it's like strands yeah it's kind of like these social kind of strands that kind of link together and food activates the different pathways and links them together so like worms Oh, it links them together. Yeah, because separately they're just these illiterate strands.

Yeah. So are you saying if you ate food in the right order, you could like unlock perfect memory? Like a Zelda puzzle or something. Yeah. Eating chicken wings. Chicken wings reminds me of this. Yes, wagon wheels remind me of this.

Twix reminds me of this. You'd be like a really obese, like genius. What about like, you're telling me like Wambars, millions. Whambars brings me back to your 13th or 14th birthday. Crusher? Yeah, Crusher as well. We stored them in this drawer.

And it got to summer and like, they all started melting and stuff. But we had to wait until your birthday to eat it all. Yeah. I apologize to any listeners or watchers who aren't in the UK so don't understand like what a wambar is. or Fredo or millions

I mean You got Google Yeah Like it's just We put sweets in a drawer And they melted I don't have anything like this But we

Instead of having like a A bottle of spirit Like hidden in a drawer I had a bottle of crusher That we only want Because of the cat And speaking of cats We'll see you after these messages

These Miao-sidges. These meow-sages. Perfect. Billy. Peely. Peely. Hello. This is me, Ardy.

You do realize that there are Mibo shirts available, right? Take a look at the really cute shirts. Look in the description or under the video for more. Whoopsie Daisy. Whoopsie Daisy. Daisy Angel Welcome back to the second section of the Jarmi

the podcast where we go on to Reddit and then we answer the questions from the suggestion thread that you can write yourself what

let's start off with a long time jail fan oil holic oil underscore holic this whole time I've been saying

Oliholic No way boo I swear Every long-term jar fan has a story that Alex has pronounced their name one

Alex can't read Boo I need to I need to eat like a Figella yeah spaghetti bolognese that triggers my

Your reading ability, yeah. Which shall I remember is the worst case of gamer rage. Jamie. That is poo-poo on toast. Hmm. Can you count me out the equation? Yeah. You're not a gamer.

Are you a gamer? No. That's not the question, though. Well, I have phone a G.J.5K through the wall. if that counts. Yeah, what is the worst, most damaging thing that has been the result

of you being frustrated at a video game? Fowing the box, smashing the box against a wall. So physical violence. Have you ever done... I've like thrown a controller. I don't think I've ever thrown a controller. I've smashed the controller against the table.

I've been frustrated at video games big time, but I don't think I've ever thrown a controller. I normally just do the... ha type thing didn't I punch you in the fucking balls that one time you accused me of us late

we finished odieste on legendary and the achievement didn't pop and I was like what did you do what did you actually do and it stressed me out so much I just fucking sweat you in the balls out

and I was like no and then it popped obviously later because of the lag no we had to do it again and I was just like did you really did it again you did it again

why it was the no one level like yeah yeah it was the audio log thing and we must have missed one and you blame me sure it's not the level because the game is broken for me no there was some glitch there was some known glitch with it or something

yeah so it was no one's fault but I just blamed you for it what have you done is something so fucking like irrelevant I've I haven't done it I've just hit things that's it but now I don't I'm just like

Which makes it sound like you have the worst case of gamer rage. The thing is, I didn't have that early on. Like, when I was peak monof-haired too, I didn't rage at all. No, that is... No, there's no way that you didn't rage. I don't, because I was too good. They didn't beat me, and nothing to rage over. You took it so seriously, though. That's the key.

Yeah. The more serious you take it, the greater your reactions will be when you fail at it. The thing is now, like, if... when I play a video game I'm just like knackered and I'm just like If I die it's just like Probably deserve that

Yeah I'm just like zonk 24-7 Although in If I'm being honest Do we count Messaging people angrily A lot Like strangers

Yeah because that that is like No I never did that Nerd rage I've never done that would message people a lot but not like oh go F yourself I can't believe you've done this to me

more just more in the vein of just being like an internet troll type thing well so you were the cringiest gamer then in a sense no because there is

I'm sorry there's worse than that if you just receive like a weird message from someone that is like It's so cryptic and makes no sense to you that your only response could be what or why? That's not as cringy or embarrassing as getting like a message like, well, I can't believe you camp there the whole game. I'm going to report you for this, idiot.

Because that's taking it so seriously. I always had a tongue-in-cheek approach. So who... What's the answer? I actually had a bad one with the SWIFT. rich this year. What did you do to it? I didn't do it.

Did your body slam it? No. Like, I didn't do anything. I was just really angry. I think it was on Fire Emblem. No, it was on Fire Emblem. Because I got, I was just like, the later game part of the game

is just like this horribly difficult bat fight where they have loads of like bosses in one like arena. And I spent like an hour and a half doing it died last second and i was just like did it again happen again and i was just like so the instant just turn off and like have to go upstairs and just like calm down that's normally my reaction now though it's if something i think is like really bad design to the point where it's restraining me to that degree just turn it off and then go back and do it again like when you're

calmer well it depends how bad it is if it's something so gargantuan in how bad it is Chances are, I'll just never go back to it ever. And that's that. You've had your chance. But this isn't answering the question, but I'm leaning towards James. Really? Yeah. Because I, yeah, I don't have many...

My main angry memory is Assassin's Creed too back when I was like... Well, mine was in Assassin's Creed as well. Actually, Assassin's Creed, you know the octopus Templar dungeon. We have to jump up. Controls are so fucking broken and I never did it because... I just fucking never did it Yeah so much of it was like that Asher controller doing it

Just imagine how much frustration The Assassin's Creed series on its own If you could harness that energy That would be powerful Yeah To control Maybe that's the end Like you know monsters ink

The way they sort of harness screams And fear If Ubisoft could figure out a way To sort of absorb your frustration With their terribly designed awful games It's like when you're God, it would be a monopoly, an energy monopoly. You're high up on a building, you've got to do one legend,

it just doesn't, it just doesn't fucking grab it, and you've fooled your death, and it's just like, I can't fucking do this, I've got to fucking go. There's shit. In Assassin's Creed, I remember the worst thing being, like, when you're trying to move around a corner, and you're climbing up something really high, and somehow the input you put in translates into the game

as the character just pushing off the wall and just jumping to his death. Yeah, fuck. And you're just like, no, that's not what I, wanted and you've just really ruined my night. No but it used, it did that a lot when it was like you've got to chase someone so then you've got to do the whole fucking chase again

because you've just jumped off into the wrong direction fucking Assassin's Creed is shit. I think we just answered the question right there. Yeah, James. It's giving me frustration thinking about Assassin's Creed. It's a GameCube has one for us. Have any of you ever considered signing up for a game show?

Jamie brings up the chase quite often and it got me thinking that it could be funny to see one of the Jarman make an appearance on the show. No, it sounds too scary, and I'm not clever enough. I'm not clever enough, and I'd get to stage fright. James House responded to that comment,

saying, my God, if they went against the beast, Beast versus Beast, if Jim went on it. That would be kind of a fin of epic, though. Yeah, I was, I want to say I actually applied to be on one of those like weird BBC shows once. What was it called?

Zucchinis or something? Zimbi-nees. No, do you remember that weird show you designed like a monster and you made it fight in like a digital world? Do you remember that shit? No, how does that work?

That's such an Alex thing though. Making monsters and making it's like me saying of the girl and robot was. It's like that equivalent. Yeah, pretty much. Except it's in like a computer game. My answer is no

and I never will. No. Unless... I can't take the time off work. Sorry. What? To potentially win like 40 grand. And I'll lose and I'll make myself look like an idiot.

No, all you have to do on the chase is just do the bare minimum, choose the lower offer, get back and then you're sorted. Yeah, betray your team. Yeah. And just earn their money. Just stand there at the end and hope that you get lucky. Gambling 101. A piece of shit has won for us. That's their name.

Has the meaning of a song ever made you start to hate slash love it? For example, someone told me how blister in the sun is about beating that meat, and now I can't listen to it without feeling weird. Yes? I remember when I was younger, around the time where I would always listen to Lady Gaga and

Lily Alice. Alan. There was this one Lily Allen song. I was like, yeah, this song rules. And I played it in the song once with, um, mum was driving me somewhere. And it's suddenly twigged and I was like, wait, this song is about blow jobs. This song is about sucking dick. It's not about blow jobs. It's just about sex. No, there's one that's specifically about suck jobs. Really? I swear. No, because I remember that same car journey. Really? Because mom loved that song and then we were listening to it and we all like twigged at the same time. what it was about it's not fair and I think you're really mean I think you're really mean I think you're really mean you're supposed to care but you never make me scream I think we're thinking of different songs like what the fuck are you on about that's a Lily Allen song fucking look it up no she's talking about getting fucked so she is like ooh yes I like it's like that you know what I'm saying no I'll see if I can find it a while.

I'm trying to think of songs. There's no one got any other song then? No, because it's just like I hate songs just on the basis of them. So you hate songs? You hate songs. Like the lyrics, you hear the lyrics once and you're just like, nah, I ain't for that. So you don't listen to the lyrics at all? No, I do.

But then I listen to it and I'm just like, nah. so you don't listen to the lyrics at all then I do listen to lyrics no but you're choosing to not listen to them no I'm listening to them like I get what they're trying to say and I don't like it so I don't listen to it anymore and every song no isn't one song specifically the thing is I don't think just meaning alone

is enough to make a song good to me no normally it's like wow that's a banger and then you really pay attention to the lyrics and we're like wow that's banger Either really lame and bad, such as bleaching assholes in a Kanye song, or... No, but that's not like a discovery that that lyric is bad. It's not like, oh, I've really listened this time, and it's changed everything.

No, but Kanye is a good example, actually, because before I'd listened to anything of his, I just assumed that bleached asshole thing was all he was. Yeah, yeah. And then when I actually listened, I was like, oh, there's actually some good wordplay in here. He's got some, he's making some good points here and there, some good bars. Yeah, I've got a new found appreciation for Cain. For Cain and what he does. I can't find it, by the way, someone else will have to.

Okay, that's fine. I've just never had it happen to me. My, in terms of one that made me like a song even more, is there's a talking head song called Making Flividi flopperty which um the lyrics are very obscure and strange

and like I never quite I could never quite tell what you're saying in the song when I was listening to it and then I went and looked at the lyrics and read through them and gave my like English lit interpretation of it and was like this is actually really clever

big time deconstructural directing life and all that. Did you make an essay on the forum? Pretty much. Lots of talking heads songs are like that, in my opinion. You got one, Jim? Uh, no.

No, I do not. Not one? Uh. So you're not telling me you've listened to like a Jack White song and then you really analyze the lyrics and we're like, huh? suddenly now this song that I already liked has become even better as a result of paying attention to the lyrics and what they're actually trying to say what but the thing the thing is read the question again because does it have to be a song that you're not that interested in and then you has the meaning of a song ever made you

start to hate slash love it um honestly when i first listened to the wall well not just the wall i had like select songs from it because they're really famous and i properly listen to mother because if you don't pay attention to the lyrics it sounds like a super generic like yeah thing but then then you listen to what they're actually what about like shine on you crazy diamond yeah songs like that are given a new meaning new layers yeah for sure yeah loads of examples

um heroes from by david bellowy but I already loved that song yeah but then I looked up or read the meaning somewhere I was like god damn pill on face

asks a similar question saying what are your favourite ever lyrics from any song fuck man we didn't start the fire it was always burning since the world's been turning any lyrics James stand out in your mind

no it's got to be something deja vu there's this song by I think they're called Half Moon Run or something that has a song I can't remember the name of the song

but the lyric in the song that has always stuck with me is you just want what you can never have really simple but it's something I always try and think back on it's like because it is true in a lot of ways where well it's that natural

like dogs do it yeah you know yeah you I mean it speaks for itself you don't even need to explain yeah exactly but it is like a fitting lyric and rings true in my mind I feel like there's better ones, though. Well, yeah, I'm not saying that's the best lyric of all the time. I'm just saying that's...

In terms of favourites. That's one of my favourites. Well, that's fine, but... Just because I like the song as well. You see, that's the kind of question I'd need to, like, prep for. Yeah. I can't just... I only asked it because of the other question being so similar,

I thought I might as well see if you could think. think of something what about putting out fire with gasoline that's kind of epic that's a really good one no a good

one of my favorites actually is Lazarus by David Billy I can't quite he says like just like that blue bird I'll be free

pretty chilling yeah like given the context and everything yeah messed up melancholy Ons underscore 12 asks us if you each had to get a tattoo

what would it be and where would it go James lead us off you know what I'm going to be fucking radical right now the Nando's chicken on my neck on your neck right there

Not going to go for the teardrop Nando's chicken No, not the teardrop Under the eye Nah, not pun here What would yours be? Can I say Nando's chicken Under the Eye?

No, I think of something else Hmm Yes Maybe Hmm Jim? You think of one while I continue to think. Mine would be a huge tattoo on my back

of a guy sat in like an armchair like perspective from behind it and there's a TV and he's watching Joe that's cool mine would be that very famous Archaeopteryx skeleton Archaeopteryx

on your back with its head like back you know the one everyone knows that that one I'm not on a serious note I'm not a tattoo person. Like, typically, I, in a...

That's not the question, is it, James? Yeah, that's not the question. No, is it, Chad? I've disliked tattoos for quite a while, but I'm getting... I'm liking them more. And if I had to get one, if I had to, it would be the ghost in the shell plugs on the neck. Because it's like a small reference, and I like it. It's kind of cool.

Okay, in that vein, I would get a second nose on my cheek. So like it's certain angles it looks like I've got another nays. Following that vein. Mr. Bowles R. Ritchie says, I've spent this summer trying to watch every single jar video, legend. And have basically been doing it back to back, which led me to discovering probably my favorite jar moment ever so far, which made me hysterically laugh while walking my dog in the,

park it's Alex pretending to be a cop in jarcast episode seven this between 1731 and 20 minutes this led to my friend and I making a short film based off this Alex's little cop role role play would you want to see it or would the cringe kill you yes I want to see it yeah put it on the jar red it and I'll watch it yeah we all will I think we all look at the jar edit at times at times I feel like I'm Homer's dad right now. Why? Because my platter is going to explode.

I just want to go do a tinkle while I read this. Yeah? I don't know what this is going to be. Jim, can you piss for me as well? Why are you up? Cow of Satan says, Hi, Jha, not a question, but I've recently gotten into Hema, H-E-M-A. So I'm spending more time out than usual.

This wouldn't be a problem, but I have three dogs. I decided to buy some cameras. that feed into my phone so I can be checking on them while I'm out. Unsurprisingly, they spend most of the time barking, which probably disgruntled the neighbours a little. The other day, I was sat listening to last week's cast without my headphones on. I glanced to the left and noticed my dogs all sitting and listening.

The next day, I went off to train and left my dogs with a running playlist of the jar cast. Every time I checked on them, they were sat still, listening to the cast. Oh shit. I've been watching since the old. old channel and all of the old things and all of the things I think of when somebody

brings up jar dog tranquilizer wasn't one of them but it sure is now that's a interesting story we need to see the dogs yeah I want to see some evidence of this

put it on the Reddit if you can record your dog is listening to jar they were probably like hoggy in their background bathroom. I remember because I've got Paisley the puppy who's not even six months yet but when she was younger

like really baby young I would leave things on the TV that would make sort of ambient noise like sort of I'd search up like city noises of like you know just cars and buses and

just you know that city ambience to get them used to that kind yeah exactly to get them used to that kind of sound. But I didn't realize that dogs really did particularly enjoy the duck jarcast. See, no, I did that of guys as well.

Just leave the video on. Human talking. It's like ASMR for dogs. I love human talking. Who doesn't? Right, let's answer this idiotic, what if.

Sir Edelot says, what's more terrifying? One human-sized scorpion and 1,000 spider size spiders or one human size spider and one thousand scorpion size scorpions

well that question no this is simple this is fucking simple we've both played New Vegas we've both play Skyrim what do they both have giant scorpions giant spiders which wrong would you prefer

to deal with in real life yep um I'm picking fucking spiders I guess the Skyrims spiders but they're massive, they can be huge, human-sized. That's big, man. And to think that they have webs.

Yeah. But the fucking... Can you imagine, like, walking into a room and it's all, like, sticky? Yeah, you just get stuck, and then you're like... Like, in Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Like, with a scorpion, you can always run. Fucking...

No, you can't. Why? If it was human-sized, that thing could move. It would be so heavy, though. No, no, no, no, it would be nimble Like, I think I... Yeah, but you can still run, spiders are nimble No, I know, you just jump up on a walk

You just go up things They can climb anything No, I think you're equally outmatched When they become that big Yeah, you can't win Scorpion's got that armour So you can't really use any weapon on it And they've got... No, but you can just run

No, but then you couldn't They've got a pincer as well What's the Like area you're in? If it's a field You just fucking book it because an animal would be so large you would be able to see it from a distance but I feel like if you were

if you got sort of jump by one you're boned yeah either way the answer is either or because it doesn't make a difference no that's not the question though but if you think you could you could possibly stab a spider if you've got a fucking sword or something

you ain't get to do fucking shit yeah but then there's all the tiny little scorpions that will be you know stabbing you No, the thing is, the bigger the scorpion, the less poisonous. But then it's just got massive fucking pince spike that will just impel you. I'd pick scorpion. Big scorpion?

Yeah. Because if you think, where's the natural habitat of a scorpion and a spider? You'd have to be in a cave to see a spider and you'll get fucked because it's like it's home. But scorpions are out in the, just in like deserts. So you can see that from a distance. So I'd pick scorpion. Spiders hide. Yeah.

They set a trap. That's creepier. Scorpions, they're just weapons that can just walk around, so... Yeah, that was my point. Like, if you're caught off guard, which is what spiders do. You're fucked.

You've seen Lord of the Rings. Yeah. You've seen what happens. I've also seen... That's Sam Worthington movie with a giant scorpions, yeah. Clash of the Titans. Clash of the Titans, yeah.

I'm picking Scorpion, big giant scorpion I'm picking garbage disposal has a self-reflective one for us What do you think the jarcast offers That other podcasts don't Comedy

Comedy legends obviously That's rare nowadays Especially with how you know fucking PC and shit everyone is Like we keep it real over here Yeah we keep it really real we keep it real as well that's another thing

yeah bullshit when we gotta say it we fucking say it yeah like we keep it real right yeah mate you got something bad going in our life mate we're gonna talk about it on this show

we are genuine we keep it real human right do you have any actual answers yeah we're human that's it the jarca I think there's something to be said

there's something to be said about the consistent I think people like the fact that on a Monday they can just tune in just for an hour the only show listen to the only show and you build like an idea of sort of what's going on a little bit because I've heard so much feedback from people that are saying that they like they like it because it just feels like they're just in the room This listener system do is talk. Like, it doesn't, and there's...

Like, they're salotaped to the wall with, like... Yeah, they're a fly on the wall, like this. So they have to listen, but they can't move or speak. Because it's not like we have an ongoing theme. We're not like a... We're not based around anything in particular. We just kind of talk about what we won. Which is normally giant scorpions.

Because normally podcasts, they have a theme. They've got subjects. They've got a schedule. That's why I stole the description from Seinfeld saying that, The JARCast is about nothing. Much like life. Yeah. And because we've done this for so many years now,

there is this cool journey along. There's actual growth in us as people. Yeah. We're completely different from the beginning of the JARCAST to how we are now. And I'm sure in the same amount of time in between that previous gap in the future, There'll be another one.

I'll be ripped. Yeah. I might have a beard. Yeah, exactly. It's exciting. You'll be a comedy guy on stage. And I think another thing is like, because we've all known each other for so long, there's a certain rapport there.

You know what? I was actually considering it the other day. I think I've completely underestimated how long I've known Jim. Because you start year two and you're seven. So we've known each other like, if I can, 15 to 16 years. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 40, 50,

yeah, 15 years. It's a long ass time. I thought it was like 10, like last year, and it's like, fuck, 15 years. Once you go past the knowing someone longer than you haven't, that's when it's like, whew.

And that's another episode for the books, I reckon, unless you got anything else to add to that. That's another episode for the books, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for watching. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen. And that's another episode for the books, I reckon.

I hope you're having a lovely Monday evening. Thanks for all the supporters of the show. Big time, thumbs up there. We'll catch you next time. Look at how big my thumbs are. They're tiny. Fuck you. I don't have small thumbs.

You're a fucking bitch. Get out. You have small feet. Get up and get out. You have small feet. Also shout out to this angle that makes whoever sat in the host chair look giant

When I come out Do you want to call me Sonic Do you want to call me Amy the hedgehog? When I come out Do you want to call me Mario?