JAR Media Posdact - Men in Blacks: Pawny - JARCAST Episode 168

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies

Good afternoon. Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gentlemen. I'm welcome. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. Beans. And welcome. Beans. Beans.

Beans. And welcome. Episode one, six, eight. That was the... Of the JARMedia podcast. The JARCast. The JARMedia POSDACT. The JARCast.

I'd just like to give a quick shout out to my... Home Dogs. And... Home Dogs. Over at... Home Dogs. Uh, Patreon. Thank you to the lovely ladies and gentlemen who support the jarcast

As well as those that support us via t-shirts And mugs And mugs Rock on, hardcore style Rock on if you want your own, check the description below Get yourself some good uh... Swag Swag is the um topic of today's episode as I'm the host

I decide Swag Who out of Jha has the most swag What like Genuine Like Santa No actual swag Not that swag

I'm on about swag How does Santa have swag That's what swag is Yeah What? Who do you think invented swag Homi Kanye West No Santa

Santa Santa has the most swag But I'm one about He delivers swag to the children I thought it was Cher Lloyd And he's got a swag bag I forgot about

Sher Lloyd James is intimately familiar with her I have no idea who you want about Did you

do you did you wank to her though No idea who she has No idea what she Looks like Was she

Swagger Swagger And I remember The song I remember the song Because we made a parody of it Wasn't a parody

You should get Some It was a tribute It was a tribute Get that money Get your game on Get your game on

Get your Get your Shell game. One of the worst songs in history. It wasn't pistribal. It was just a dark one of the worst songs in history. Google Shia Lloyd, if you don't know what we're talking about. X-Factor runner-up or something.

She made one song and kind of disappeared. Yeah, because it was so shite. She took her swag and ran. She made like 20 quid and was like, well, Guess that I'll have to do. I've got a topic. Oh, for fuck, same. No, because now you've got to see my freakily large fucking toe.

I've got a topic. Is it to do with swag? In a way. Jim, can you get my sock, please? Okay. Hit me. So, uh, I've been working on a secret project of sorts. A new YouTube channel.

What? A new YouTube channel based on a certain type of plastic. James? Polyester? He's made a flashlight channel. I wish, but no. I've made a Lego channel. And I've made one video for it, and it's up there.

However, I haven't shared anywhere or revealed the truth to anyone. So, I have a challenge for the jarlings out there to see if they can find my Lego channel. The only clues I'm going to give you is that it is a Lego channel, and there's one video on it. That is all. And if you manage to find it, tweet at Four Funnies. And you can win all of the Lego that Alex owns. Yeah, all of it. Ooh.

Destroying Alex's Lego dream. Yeah. If any one of you finds it, we'll do a video of us destroying all of Alex's movies. Okay, I really hope no one finds it then. So what made you do this? I already found it. What made me do it? Yeah.

Don't know. Cool. It's cool. So you've achieved your dream of your Lego channel before I've achieved my dream of my car channel. Well, yeah. Interesting. But it's betrayal. All it is, it's just pure betrayal. How? Because you know, you've... We haven't welcomed RICO, Dave and Brian to the cast yet, either. RICO, Dave, Brian. RICO, Dave, Brian.

Now that I've finished my Funko Pop video, I can, I can add the atrocious figures to the table. And you can see them right there. we should um murder one each episode well like we did the joker one on Twitter no we still got the joker head we can add that to go out that no we had that joker from suicide squad one

that went somewhere it's gone argue's tam tam how do you guys feel about funco pops hate them why is that because they look terrible

it kind of is as simple as that really there's nothing to them they're they're They're overly expensive. Mm-hmm. Unbelievably simple. They're lazily designed. And they look shit.

Yeah. And people fucking love them. The only good one are the penguins of Madagascar ones. Because they're so detached from like normal pump vinals. They might as well just be saying us. A brand of fleshlight. Well, a penguin pump vinyl. It sounds like a one, doesn't it?

my opinion on them is that um if you own any then you've succumbed to groupthink James you have a topic topic yeah I just have a weird little story I guess it's not a to it might be a topic yeah so recently I think throughout my life I've always sleep walked so recently throughout your life I know I worded that quite terribly I didn't think of what I was going to say

But yeah there's always been parts of my life I remember sleepwalking Nothing crazy normally happens in them Well it's kind of crazy in and of itself in a way Sleepwalking is it that common I've never known if you're a cartoon character from the 50s Homer Simpson probably sleepwalks He wasn't family guy

Neither of those are from the 50s I was thinking more like Betty Boop Mr. Flintstone. Yeah. He's more likely to sleepwalk than fucking family Brian.

So, over the last two days. Anyway, continue. My sleep... Yeah, go on. Continue. Really bizarre. Keep going.

Basically... I'm actually going to let you go now. Like two in the morning, I get up. But I'm not actually awake, if you get it? It's like I have full... Is it sleep paralysis?

No Like, no, it's not that I It's like my body's moving But I don't have any control over it Like I'm awake So your dream living I guess so

But literally two days ago I woke up at two in the morning On the floor And I had a fight with my bedding Like an actual full on fucking fight Fight with your bedding Yeah I don't

You're awake Yeah but I So you're just a maniac then No I was like awake could see it but I didn't do anything I was like straight of sleepwalking so you were dreaming no it actually happened I fucking got in a fight with my bedding it if you were awake no but it's hard to think so I wasn't awake like I am now so you were dreaming no I was actually doing it but I don't know why I don't know me no because it's not a dream because it's not

a dream because it fucking happened it's difficult to come It's in the middle. Yeah, but I remember it really clearly. But I don't remember anything why, or how I got on the floor, or anything. But I got into a fight with my bedding. And then I fell asleep. Then at 6 o'clock in the morning, I woke up on the floor still. And then this morning, at like 2 in the morning, it happened again.

It was like 2 o'clock, and I woke up, and I just stripped my entire bed. Yeah, you don't know. just said that in the group chat this morning. I did. I was just like, okay. I just stripped my entire bed and went back to bed. And I have no fucking idea why. I just did it. And then I slept in this

fucking unmade bed for so long and I just felt shit in the morning. And I was really confused. Of course, my assumption was that you did another poo fart in your bed and shit. No, I like genuinely, I remember that as well. I remember just getting on people. What, having a poo fart?

Not poop out on my bed, I remember that, because I was awake during that. I just remember doing it, but I don't know why. But I've also sleptwalked before, but I don't remember it. And I'm really confusing. How do you know that you sleep walking once you sleep walking? Because all of the Fredos in the fridge just vanish in the night. No, it's because normally I'd trip over because I'm clumsy, and I'd end up with loads of severe bruises and, like, cuts from falling over while sleepwalking.

It's messed up Yeah, I've woken up with Like massive gashes down my back That I just did in the night somehow You realise the house could just be haunted Yeah, it's probably more likely Nah, it's me Sleepwalking

Or ghosts Nah, sleepwalking Paritians or whatever Sleepwalking Paritians, Paris Hilton Why would it be sleep paralysis anyway Because that's like when you're fully aware of it

but you can't control your body. Mine's like the opposite. My body controls you. Is that not where your body's asleep, but your mind's awake? Yes. Sitting, yeah. Yeah, but...

You're saying you're conscious, so you are able to think, but your body is doing something else. So it's like awake paralysis. Yes. Like you're trapped in your body, but neither thing is asleep, but they're disconnected.

Yeah, it's like that. I have no... It's quite scary. because it's just like... You're just going on the full-on syndrome matrix kind of deal. What do you mean syndrome matrix? I'm just explaining that I had fucking...

James is fucking Neo. No, there was just one time. You're seeing the real life. Yeah. You're seeing the real world. There was this one time a few years ago, actually. I literally straight up had a fucking panic attack when I got up in this weird limbo.

I fucking ran to my door and was just like fucking banging, like going like that at the fucking door handle. But it wasn't opening. And I was fucking having a panic attack. But in my mind, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, I was saying that to myself. I was confused of why I'm doing that.

But I was like, fight or flight, fucking freaking the fuck out. And then I laid in my bed and I was just like, what the fuck? Go to sleep, James. I went to sleep. I don't know why, but it just keeps happening. It's this weird limbo of sleep I have. So you're a dream walker. I guess so.

Have you not had any... James, the dreamwalker. Have you never had an experience like that? no only that monkey brain thing where you think that you've fallen over what you mean you know what i'm talking about don't act like you don't know you mean like in a dream where you fall over and you suddenly wake up that type yeah yeah i get that every night the monkey brain thing shut the fuck up the scarier one is when you're trying to fall asleep and the the feeling of falling asleep feels like falling and then

it jolts you back awake. Yeah, the monkey brain thing. Yeah, that's what you were talking about. Not when you're already dreaming. No, both. Oh, fuck off. No, that makes no sense. I don't think they're...

No, they are not the same. Leave a comment down below. If you... Agree with me, because I... Have you never honestly had anything weird like that happened? No, because I don't sleepwalk. Yeah. I sleep talk, apparently.

I've been told, like, I was straight up, like, have sleep talk. I have conversations in a... What kind of things do you say? What's up, guys? Good afternoon, morning, evening or not? From what I've been told, it's like a discussion. But I'm on the, I'm like, I've done wrong, and then I'm trying to, like, I don't know.

But that's what I've been told. And it freaks me the fuck out, because it's just like... You're like describing, uh, which flesh like to buy on love honey. Hmm. Destroyer or suck who dry. fun fact about my sleeping habits is um throughout the day i eat food really tell me more and i drink fizzy drink like a fizzy drink like cake zero and uh so all these bubbles and all this food are building up

within and i they're building up within i yeah i don't know if i've developed this sleeping maneuver I didn't know your hand was there this sleeping maneuver to release this pressure that has been building throughout the day but I will sleep like on my front

So you're bloated? No, I'm not bloated but there's just pressure that is unaware that I am unaware of So being bloated then No, I'm unaware of the pressure I don't feel bloated

You are there? Why? That just sounds like You've developed your own position to get rid of the bloat no no no no no no no it's the end of the day digestion is done it's probably been like a fair few hours since you had dinner

right so anyway I lie on my front the highest part of me is my ass so the gas this must be fucking healthy but the gas within a toddler where they like have their ass stuck in no not stuck in the air but like I'll position myself I lie on my side but most on my front.

So my ass is sort of... So the gas, the gas, you know, gas like, rises. Does it? The farts rise? Yes. The farts rise. Yeah, methane, isn't it? It goes up and kills ozone.

Methane, yeah. And, uh, so it rises and just passes straight out, no problem. You've just explained this. I lay on my chest, so I fart up without... No, it's not, it's not, neither one was invented for the sake of the other, you know. You basically lay on your chest to fart. That's all you've just explained. No, no, I lie on my chest and a side effect is farting, but I continue to lie on my front.

Too far. Yeah, because it's like, it feels healthy. Like, it's just excess. How by that time, it's still fucking farce left in you? Because you fucking fart. No, I don't. I'm just doing it today because of Sammies. I've not stopped, stop fucking farting and it's fucking gross.

Samis is the local kebab person. Shout out to you, Samuel. Yeah, thanks, Sam. I really didn't enjoy the Samis today. It was terrible. I really just didn't enjoy it. That's bullshit. That's bullshit.

Yeah. Shut the fuck up with that shit. You just get like carbs wrapped around carbs with some juice in it. And then you're like, well, that was. shit. It's like order something that isn't shit. You look at this like vast menu of delicious items. You're like, delicious items. Hi Sammy, I'll have that. The worst thing on the menu.

No, because the worst thing on the menu would be like chicken nuggets. No, that is not true. There are so many people in this town that preach. They rate the nugs. About the nugs. Well, what else is there? Anything. I don't know. A fucking kebab. James hates kebabs. No, the thing with a kebab is you get pitter, just

thrown at the bottom of a fucking plastic container you get you get fucking meat and then salad and sauce you eat in just a pile of salad and meat I want something juicy that's got bread something juicy that's got bread no because you don't eat

the pitter yes you do no because it's at the bottom for the fucking slop that's what makes it so tasty because it absorbs the like flavor you want the pitter with the meat but you're just going to have the pit the sloppy pizza at the end it's the sloppy leftovers and you don't have to eat it in layers and you don't want the

that it's presented in. Like, it's like if you got a burger. You can't stick a fork down that massive pile of food and eat it. And you're like, oh, I really want the bottom side of the burger. So all I'm going to do is eat the top bun and eat my way down. That's what he does. That's what he does. That's what he does.

No, because you can't. Because it's so fucking huge. That's not true. You sit your forking in your knife. foot, you get chewing down and you can't fucking get to the bottom because by the time you... It's small then. It's not hard.

Literally every cabam I've ever eaten I've done the opposite of what you're saying. You're wrong. Because by you can't stick your fork is not big enough to just just... Get a bigger fork.

Stop using a baby fork. Baby fork. Jim, can you get my sock please? My foot's No. Is it because you're dyspraxic and you can't use a fork properly? That is fucking disgusting. Let me just say.

How fucking day you. That's a fucking bad one. Not cool. This is what we get from ordering Sammy's. So delicious bowel movement then. Oh! That fucking stinks. It's like, it's like a, um, an enema.

It's like clearing out the whole system. Would you have an emma? I'd have an emma, emma. Is that what M&M's named after? Does they have the same effect? If you have loads of blue M&Ms. I used to get hype on blue. No, I meant, I meant the ripe, the, the ripe, the, a ripe MNM.

No, the fucking rapper. The dude that riper. Every pack. Eminem. Every Eminem pack has one ripe Eminem in there. And they're normally blue. Did you even hear what I just said? I don't say it again.

The rapper Eminem. Two pack. What rapping? Two pack. Alex is just being intentionally cringy. As per usual. No, normally it's unintentional. Not cool.

You're just trying to make me look cringy because of my Lego channel. That's your own cringe. You haven't even seen it. You can't judge what you ain't seen. I bet you it's in a white worm. It's in your Lego room or something. I'm not giving anything away.

I bet you I could search right now and find it. I bet you couldn't. I bet I could because I know you. Okay, find it then. No. No, I can't do that. I'm not a dick. Well, the one time you didn't go on your phone.

Damn. You know what I'm going to do? I never go on my phone. I quit that habit. many episodes ago huh should I yeah yeah yeah Jim can you please get my sock no we'll do it after bro bro bro bro bro bro my bro can I have some water please You ask for water I gave you wah-wah

For those listening Alex just spat on James I'm really good at doing that No I can do it the best Gworn man Goes to his kitchen It's like James watch this Stans on the other side of his kitchen And spits water into his sink

Stop It's disgusting I've got soggy feet sorry I'm sorry for spitting Wawa at you James If you don't stop that fucking Cucumber

What was going on you It's all absorbed into the hair That you thought would be funny Because you were high And they'll Dog for the dog hair Right so In my topics list

I wrote down one that I just don't even know what it is. I'll read it out and see if it triggers anything. Pornie. P-A-W-N-Y. P-A-W-N-Y. P-A-W-N-Y. Powny.

Anything? Oh no, I remember this. I remember why we did it, but I don't remember what it was. We did it for it for. Really? It's actually triggering a memory for it. Yes. It was like something we watched last week. Speaking of something we watched, can we briefly talk about men in black too? Yes. That was another thing I've renated down.

That fucking movie. Of course we're hyped for Men in Black International with that guy. Yeah, yeah. Jumal Kim Jabi. Is that his name? Yeah. Yeah, him. Obviously.

And that creature. That hype creature. Oh shit. We just bought it. Fuck me. Ah! Ha! Oh my god! Porn E is the name of that fucking creature from Men in Black International.

Instead of writing down the topic, I write down the name of that fucking monster. That was like a time-traveling movie twist. Yes! It's like a loop thing. Yeah. What the fuck? What the fuck? um god so for those you don't know pause go watch the men in black international trailer whatever the latest one was just look for the thumbnail of this fucking awful creature no funny

thing is um i watched a trailer on instagram for that movie today yeah and they just edited around that little monster thing completely he was not in the trailer at all not a single shot because Even they know how shite it is No, but they really made sure he's in that other trailer Yeah Especially the Spanish one Right The Spanias love that little guy

Yeah Pornie Pornie Yeah I see that film looks like a fake movie It looks so shit It looks so fucking terrible I think Chris Hemsworth is destined to be

in pure shite. It looks just like Ghostbusters. Yeah, and he was in that. Yeah, he was obviously in that and he was terrible in it. Oh, me do funny, sexy dance. Yeah, my joke said I'm really hot. Come on, gals. Let's go over

there. Oops, me so strong I break thing. Sexy. But anyway, no, he had a really good one of good movies, though. Uh, wush Uh Uh

That one for movie I haven't seen For the dark word Yeah man, you're really proving your point I like him as an actor Because he's been in one movie Yeah Yeah, but so it's Henry Cavill So, so

and so's Tom Hardy They've all been in one good movie You're like and they're like my favourite No Tom Hardy Tom Hardy's actually been in plenty Yeah Of the ones I haven't seen them though

I haven't like seen Bronson or anything I've only seen Mad Max And Dark Night Wises Right Anyway can we talk about men in black too Hey it's me Men in Black 2 serious review of this movie

it's fucking magnificent it's not it legitimately is when was the last time you saw it when I was like six yeah and what did you think of it back then I didn't even like it as a kid it's sexy it's badass it's absolutely nail on the head

and it's got so much attitude it's got so much attitude will Smithisms yeah Is that it? C.G. Really good.

Funny dog? Bingo. Actor that really doesn't want to be there? Bingo. Who's the act who doesn't want to be? What about the, uh, the worms? The worms. Hey, it's me.

The worm. Aren't they? You said they were Mexican stereotypes. Yeah. Are they? Not really. Maybe a little bit. Okay.

I can't even remember. They're also rapists. implied rapists. Yeah, they're implied rapists, but they're also extremely underutilized. Yeah, for some reason I had vivid memories of the worms from Men in Black being like a huge element of those movies. Like to the point where it makes it like really hard to watch. Like the equivalent of the penguins from Madagascar. Yeah, basically.

But now. They're in what, three scenes? If? Complete horse shit. Maybe they're in the first one more? I'm going to have to rewatch it. Why would you be watching? But Men in Black International, just for those curious,

is returning the worms to the universe, so we don't have to worry about, you know, but there's some familiarity there with the worm characters so it can kind of ease us into this new universe they're saying. Yeah, the soft re-beat. Yeah, right, you got the worms, but also you've got new revolutionary stuff like Kinjubu's new character.

Yeah. Porni. Let's do a bet right now. A bet followed by a role play. Live on the jarcast. Is Will Smith going to be in this movie as a cameo? The new men in black. No, he was too busy with Aladdin.

You say no? I say no. I'm going to say yes then, just to make things interesting. If I win... If you win. Then you both have to buy me a car. If you guys win, I'll get you each a Friday. Seems fair.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I'm up for that. Okay, guys. I agree to that. Say about the messages in that voice. And we'll be back after these messages. It's quite good, isn't it? sometimes. So get your dick from out your hand and don't be a dick

wear a dick. Dick the head t-shirts available now. Check the description below. Hello, welcome back to the second half of the Picklewreck podcast. You shouldn't... You shouldn't do that. I don't like that, Jim. Then you can

suck me off, bitch. Are we don't? We're men in back too then. No. Stop talking about men in black. It's not good. No, we have to do the role play. I don't know what it is, but we have to do it. James is Will Smith. Jim's a worm. I'm Pornie.

Introduce us, Will Smith. To my right, we have Pornie. What the fuck you're doing? And to my left, we have the worms. No, I mean literally introduce us. You are Will Smith. Hello. Oh, my fucking.

Why is it that? Every time. Oh my God. There was one really good role play we did And I'm all well played out No, come on, try Please Please

Look, repeat after me Worms Yeah, just do that No, I can't No, go on No, I can't Worms! Hey guys, I suppose you're the worms

Fine, I'll be the blames as well. Hey, you must be ponies. This is that natural scene from the movie. That guy is really cool and strong. Yeah, I know, he's awesome, right? Where's Will Smith? I need him. Jimmy, rub the Jimmy lamp. let's move on

I was enjoying that this is upsetting me okay I can't do role plays it's too I spend all my night while playing you can't do this to me

what the fuck does that mean yeah what the fuck joke what the fuck yeah I roll play uh no you know who you role play

you role play as jambricks on your new YouTube channel already shade tossing in the fucking Lego community You just started a war son Welcome to the part of the show Where we aren't

Welcome to the part of the show I'm gonna break you apart and sell you piece by piece On fucking brick link Bring it I'll show you part by part On eBay Wow that was a really good comeback I don't know any used

Fucking sites for Japanese car parts beside you who auctions Jim welcome to the part of the show where we answer questions from who the jar media fans on our Reddit never do that again

fuck off from all the pornies out there that's what we're going to call our fans we know the pornies so you can go to Reddit slash pornies Porny dot net

Come on guys Be theorieth Go on you say it What the Reddit pages Yes Head over to R slash jar media And then go to the suggestion

thread And then we will read them And then we will answer And maybe twerk Right come on Andy Le Luh Volp is going to start us off today Would you guys be down to have

Ovee Bowl on the Jarkast? He recently did an even smaller podcast DFF and he was pretty cool Thoughts? I'd be quite afraid of him Yeah I'd be afraid that he'd try and fight me Or something. Yeah I'd be afraid that he'd like

Just go in on me Really criticising me fucking idiot yeah i'd say that like i like mad max or aquaman no that's one he'd like not aquaman no mad max one oh is he not like mad max one i don't fucking know i don't even know who he is off okay yeah but yeah what's his name uvee uvee you see it's it's spelled W-E-E-W-E, right? U-W-E. It's German.

UWE? Yeah. That's bullshit. Just men of black international is bullshit. Yeah, we could talk about men and black international. Ask him, like, what your thoughts on pornie from Men in Black International, Ove? He's bullshit.

Yeah. You just ruined our chances of meeting it with Google. No, he doesn't give, you think he gives a shit? He's all about. anti-political correctness I say what I want Yes, of course He's going to make a commentate channel now

Oh no You already has one What political one Yeah Oh Okay let's move on I enjoy karma What do you think about making jar beanies

I agree Thoughts I fucking agree with that um i would like to say to make jar socks talking to the mic jar socks that's stupid why because nobody sees socks oh that's a fair point um

jar tea spring might do them so maybe the next wave jar gloves is my opinion no what we should do is jar cars you actually make a car jar emmuffs listen everything jar glasses Speck savers, get out of here

Jar ponchos Jaar ponchos Definitely Raincoats Tracky bottoms Trainers Raincoats, I like that Our own

version of Yeezis You know We are The New Supreme Is jar Yeah Slap some of Alex's Weird artwork on it

Make it like a retro Yeah Scene and fuck me They'll sell Draw like a fart I'll draw what I see when I close my eyes close your eyes

okay what do you see you don't want to know tell me it's porny okay Alex is horny over porny Dick the head says simple question for Jim who is your Asian

Queen I don't get it oh you of course you wouldn't get it you idiot it's Lucy Thai right it's Lucy Thai Asian Queen Oh shit shit that that's creepy that keeps coming back

it's like a fucking poltergeist that's what's keeping me up in the night that's why you're walking around or porn no lucy tie

she's the Asian queen that's been haunting James isn't she in Milf as well you're asking me if she is a mother what is a opinion or by like porn have category opinion What? What the fuck are we talking about?

What the fuck knows? I feel like me and James are on the same wavelength, but you just... Yeah, me and Jim actually have a connection, and you were just like... Yeah, porn connection. Isn't she a milf, though? James lost me yet. Isn't she a milf though? James can't consume porn unless it's milfs.

No, that's always been the case. I don't I keep my distance At least convincing sentence of the fucking year No you do Try and say it again This time actually you're convincing We've talked about porn

So of course I keep my distance from it So what are you going to do when the flesh floats arrive You can fuck a fleshlight without looking at porn Yeah but you're gonna wanna No Who says I'm gonna fuck a flashlight Well if you don't you're out Oh, what is this a blood oe file that you've got?

The poncho is actually perfect. The poncho is a perfect, so look how much space. We could all just have fleshlights on our dick, and no one would know. We could do the review just like that. We'll just share them with each other. Gently bobbing. Oh, it's so fucking disgusting. Fucked up, dude.

It's something that they destroy us. It doesn't fucking matter, man. Oh, give me a go, bro. no but what about they they go they go fucking hard fleshlight go hard and they give us a Lisa Ann one and the destroyer that would be the fullest circle if we get a Lisa Anne one

can that drum media tweet at Lisa Ann and see if she does she have a twist of it? James you take a picture of your dick in it and tweet out her and she might retweet it yeah dude you've always said you wanted to be a porn star this is how you get in

my fucking Lisa Anne's fleshlight be like yeah I'll rate your pussy an 8 out of 10 Lisa I'll rate your pussy as an album

slash EP cover since we're spreading him all across the web and so forth if so thanks guys may get like a damn type album cover which is fucking itchy

So it's your face, James, so I think it should be your say. No, we vote. I thought my face was a property of child media, so I don't have a say. Yes, then. Yeah, yes. There we go. James isn't even, he's overruled even if he says no. The answer is yes, then.

And that goes to any jarling listening. You want to do anything of James's face? No, no, stop. No, we just take it and put it anywhere. I'm pretty sure on the Reddit, someone edited. your face onto a flashlight Alex

my face has been edited onto many things are you going he did that you're gonna give

an example he did do you remember that one did in my in our year at school and Alex was like

obsessed with this photo of him and would Photoshop his face onto like Superman and shit neck-up

no no no no no we're on about the other one the chubby one yes yeah oh him jr

yes jr j p r yeah ix was fucking bizarre he had like these crushes on two people and I yeah

and he just fucking edit their face onto like yeah anything he could it was fucking creepy it wasn't creepy you literally made one of those

um those shirtless men dancing oh yeah with like five people from you edited it was all sorts it had ice man in there yeah ice man it had I pretty sure Ruben was in there

was he? Yeah but who's Rubin in there? I actually love Ruben it was just whatever pictures were in my like funny pictures folded right they just went in oh

dear should I do it we can't know what you mean until your mum 791 says what element on the periodic table is every Madagascar

character fucking hell well M is magnesium so Marty is magnesium no don't do it like that Alex is aluminium don't be a cunt do this the right way

Georgia is Golgan I feel like a skipper is gold no that's stupid okay then fucking you do it then

I'm gonna admit right now I can't remember the periodic table you are you serious fucking not real what Jim I was last in school like six fucking years ago but you can't remember the periodic table

what are you 12 do you think they they fucking taught the dumb fucks I was with the periodic table you're telling me you can't remember every element on the periodic table Do you think I got taught it? I was in the fucking retard class. Are you an actual

dumbass? I've done more useful things since then. I've built fucking race engines. I'm not going to remember the periodic table when I need to remember compression ratios and the tolerances for fucking valves and shit. If you I'm just going to say this right now, if you

don't remember the entire periodic table you are a goddamn idiot. No. You are a fucking not at all yes how because I'm not a fucking

educational in a school and can't remember because I've done things yes you don't need to remember it

I'm not in a science field I don't need to know Jim are you gonna I don't think it's a common sense type thing

um okay let's start with Argon is that one yes yes that's Argon that's A

I'd say that's Marty why um what properties of Marty his sort of lucid nature

I think um Alex's Tati Bojangles No I'd say um I'd say

Alex the lion is sulphur reason It stinks It's like yellow it is yellow you're looking at the periodic table aren't you you don't know the periodic table

just do the main four so we can move on um I'd say Gloria is Osmonium Osmonium reason being reason being

it's a big one it's a big one what's the fucking giraffe called? Melman. Melman is unobtainium. Because he's so high

you can't get him. I like that. Yeah, that's true. It's unobtainium because you can't obtain glory. Because you can't obtain Melman, James. Come on. Fucking hell. The Pickle Chronicle

sent us this letter. Just a little hypothetical for you guys. for you little fellas out there with the big butts did it say that or did you say that no it said that he definitely had it no it said that

no it didn't you can do perfect flawless backflips whenever you please you can do perfect flawless backflips whenever you please but every time you backflip every time you land a backflip

your nipples grow three millimeters longer and your butt gets bigger you just And looking like one of those freak pictures. What's the point? I'd rather not backflip. I like my small nipples. No, you could just save it for when it's really necessary.

Yeah, it's nice to know that you are capable of doing that when it's... Yeah. Well, so, well, how would you know it's necessary? It might be necessary. I'm about to be hit by car. For example, you're... For example, you're on your scooter, on the way... On your moped, yeah.

On your moped, on the way to your girlfriend's... Your, what, 70cc... emiped? On the way On the way On the way On the way To your girlfriend's

Acting gig And then a car Behind you is going And then you've got to be like Oh snap Backflip over it Spider Man from Spider-Man 2

Yeah That's what That's exactly what I wouldn't do it There's nothing appealing about Doing backflip Even when it's

Going to save your life Well you won't know It's going to save your life until you're dead You're not going to know cars behind you because they travel that fast it's like bang you're here you're off you won't know when to backflip and that's coming from experience that's why your spidey sense would tingle you're not a spider you can just do backflips that that that that that okay so what if for

some reason in your life you end up in a room with j z and he's he's got to offer someone a record label And you got to impress him somehow The story of Argi Argi Me instead of the story of OJ No, no, let's just say No, that's it, that's it, that's it I'd give it to Argy

Real Corgi Lame Corgi Fo Corgi Fiel Corgi House Corgi Still Corgi Imagine, why would you want to do backflips But Argy could do fucking backflips

Agi can't do a backflip No, but his like weird dog nipples Could just get longer and longer No, but why? Why would you as a human want to do backflips? What if you just snipped your nipples off when they got too long? Because then you'd be disfigured as well. Because you'd have fucking cut up nipples.

All right, just shame everyone out there who likes doing that for fun. I'm not shaming anyone, I'm just saying. If Jim was had, like... Speaking of James shaming people, let's talk about all the horrible things James has said about everything, basically. When? What the races and stuff? Why is it that you constantly throw me under the bus?

if I'm fucking hyper, like, horrible. I just want you to agree on camera that you are quite conservative. I'm not, I voted Lib Dems, I voted Labor, I'm not conservative. It's illegal to talk about who you voted for.

Yeah. Fuck the conservatives. It's a federal offence. Damn, edgiest thing he's ever done. What are they going to do? What are they going to do? The conservatives, they've lost their PM, man. They ain't got no power. Listen, bro

I don't even fucking vote Didn't you actually even vote I wasn't awake in time I was too awake Jim wouldn't vote anyway means he has to take a paper slip and take it somewhere which he didn't do as a child

when he got all of those checks I don't want to go to the bank and that paid off because the world the world fucking is proof that the world revolves around me I never checked in checks and now I can just don't my phone. The world

changed to make life easier for me. No, it's the world making life easier for me. No, you were just such a fucking, you were such a gamer. Oh, that was get up and go to the bank and get money. That's the exact reason and you

know it. No, that is not the reason. You could just ask, Mommy, can you take me into town to check checks? Of course. If my mom would take me into town ever, then yeah, I would have done it that way but my mum doesn't like me I can back that

and I was depressed and I was a bus into town well yeah you like a five minute walk no listen no because the bank he has wasn't in our town it's in the other town so you need a bus that's not true the bank I have anyway you're saying the bank you had

to cash your checks was in our town and couldn't be no I'm telling you you couldn't be bothered to walk check in checks 10 quid 15 quid You said you had like hundreds of pounds of checks in your wallet That you let expire

When did I have hundreds of pounds You said you had like multiple checks I've never been given hundreds of pounds in my life Okay, you had like 30 Yeah maybe maybe 40 pounds And is that's But over a long period of time Because like

It's kind of disrespectful to be given a check I ain't gone on it How is it disrespectful? It's just another way to pay and it was more popular back then? Yeah, because it's like, okay, you're a 14 year old kid that is no concept of, like, money at all.

Here's, like, a piece of paper that is worthless unless you take it to a specific place and then it's put into an account that you can't spend on sweets immediately. So what you're saying is kids should never have money until they're old enough to understand it.

No, they shouldn't be given checks because, I mean, nobody should be because it's antiquated and fucking stupid. Yeah, checks aren't a thing anymore. Fuck checks. You know people used to go to petrol stations and pay of checks. Shopping, pay of checks.

Yeah. How fucking stupid is that? Oh, how much is my shopping? 100 pound? I don't mean, why my fucking check? The fuck. Yeah, like, the business has to go and cash that check. What the fuck?

What if it bounces? Yeah! There's things put in place to stop it from bouncing with certain things. because that's what I... You can't stop me bouncing. Badoinga, badoinga, badoonga, badoonga. Now, come on, trampoline humor.

I wish I had a trampoline. You did. No, right now, you idiot. Right now! Shall I get a champoline for this room? No, get a trampoline for your garden. You can't jump out the window. Like, at the end of a jar car.

We just open the door. They open the window. and just all hurl ourselves out. I'm actually just one of us misses and fucking dies. You don't die. If you land on your head out there, you will die. Your head, but if you land on a trampoline head first,

if you land on your neck, you're going to fucking die. No, if I jump out, if you jump out, you'd land on the trampoline, then go fly. And then die. You'd also break your legs hitting the trampoline. No, I'm so, I'm so, I'm, what kind of trampoline are you going to have, and how high is it going to be?

and it gets a fucking gigantic one. This is a third story in a house. Uh-huh. No. A second story, right? We got ground floor, first floor. Second. Second floor. So this is the second floor. You you jump out that window and onto a

trampoline. That's going to fuck you up. Yeah. That's going to fucking destroy. That will break your legs. So what you want to do is you're going to buy multiple where you've got like five. Yeah. It's like heights. You bounce, bounce, bounce. Yeah. You got to, like, filter through the trampolines. Yeah.

Or just have one, because that's... No, because you've just explained. You will fucking, like, fuck yourself up if you come on it. Okay, explain why it will work, then. Equal forces. Yeah, and think of the force of you going down from that height. Yeah, which is absorbed by the... And the equal force...

Which is absorbed by this squidgy trampoline going to ding... And which then launches you fucking up. Yeah, that's the part that's the real. danger. So you, so what we're saying makes sense. It absorbs the jump and then it just shoots you in a different direction. Oh, so what you're saying is we're like, buy a house

opposite the street, so we jump out of this window, we watch ourselves into the above house. And then have a bouncy castle in the next door's garden. And then jump at the window and then bouncy gazelle in. So what happens when you you land on a trampoline at a different angle and then you go flying off over the fucking fence?

Well, that's just a risk I'm going to have to take. Okay, then buy a trampoline and we're going to fucking fog you out and see what happens should I get one for this room though Jim yes bigger one big big big and just make the whole room big I've used to imagine that like a room where the floor

is just trampoline have you never been to one of those there's like trampoline places like the whole place is just the trampolines no we should go yeah we should they're amazing we should no I'm too talented on a trampoline. You guys would start to feel insecure because I'm so talented on a trampoline.

You'd find it funny because I'm clumsy. So I'd just go fucking flying off. No, but then you'd sit there and watch me moving around like a fucking gazelle through the fields. And you'd be like, I'm pointless. I bet you I could out finesse you on trampolines.

You could not. I could. I ray less. I was born on the trampoline. You merely... Oh, fuck off of these edgy quotes. Schemeer. Richie R.C. asks, what are your opinions on Tame Impala?

We've answered this, we haven't. No, people join and, like, people come and go. No, we've had this. I'm fucking done. You didn't let me finish. I know you guys love guerrillas, and I think that Tame Impala are similar to them, kind of. They've recently become my favorite band. I'm interested to see what you think.

Well? Yeah, I like him. Yeah, I like him a lot. I'm not, like, crazy about him. But sometimes it just goes... Fing-ding, forget-d-a-d-ling... So, yeah, pretty sweet. Yeah, there's only one bad song of those.

All of them. James' reasoning is so terrible. Oh, it sounds like... It sounds like something I really should like based on everything that I like otherwise. Like, is that really your argument? What? What's your argument?

If you're saying I should like Taming Pala because I like something... Like it? That makes fucking no sense. Because you like the sound. What sound? Sound of what? Music. Yeah. Drums and guitars. Oh, okay, so if you like music, you should like Tame Impala.

No, I didn't say that. You did. I just said, based on your taste. I just said... What's my taste then? My taste is the most... Broad out of everyone. Bored? Bored. I literally like everything.

If you... Then why don't you like this? Because it's just not my thing. Because you hate the idea of what... You saw one starter pack meme that was like... No, I didn't. Indy boy. Indy boy starter pack with currents on it.

That would be why. No. And since then he's got this idea. Because Matt DeMarco was probably on the same one. No, no. Which is also why he hates Matt DeMu. No, no, no. I would admit, Tame and Parlor was on.

it. Mac DiMarco wasn't. I like... You made, so I was right. No. I was saying that he was on one of those memes. MacDemarco, though, I knew from listening to you guys listening to it. I've heard it, and it just wasn't jelling with me. I just can't listen to it. It's not my...

Wait, but that's MacDamarko. We're talking about Tame Impala. I haven't listened to his music. I don't know. I don't really have an opinion on him. Why do you say he was trash? To annoy him. Oh. Because Alex has a badge of Tame Impala. Down, down, dig it, down, down, down, down, down.

My music taste has changed quite drastically recently, so I'd pop up. And I'm Kanye West. Oh, be quiet. Let's do one more. Alex doesn't even like... Stash D.K. says, your Madagascar sequel, the one where Gloria gets pregnant and the penguins become the president, is approved and eventually is shown to the public.

due to the mature themes in the movie a horde of angry mums now surround the jar house what do you do uh drive away in my car can i think that's fucking so edgy no i'd just be like can you move i'm just leaving i have no involvement in this parody movie whatever

wasn't a parody it was the official sequel and yet why would i be involved because your name would be on the fucking credits and i just i just say we would have made sure that your name was first than the credits. It would have been those like, before the film starts,

it would be like, for James. And I'd just be like, it wasn't me, can I go away? And then I'd just get on my car and slowly. No, they wouldn't let you.

The angry mob will listen. Their mum's, James. They are passionate. What we'd have to do is say, that's him. That's his idea it was. Well, meanwhile, we have these big spoons

and we're digging our way out of the garden. Yeah. So what you're saying is what you do all the time? You fucking drop me in shit that I've never had no involvement in. It's what you do all the time. No, you allowed us to do it. You just proved that you did have involvement.

And with that, that's the end of the show, everybody. Thank you for listening to this episode. We are going to beat James until he cries. As normal. You just have to call me a mean name and that will happen. Mim-me. I'll just push you and then you'll cry. No, you have to give me severe emotional trauma to make me quiet at this point.

What fuck does that even mean?