JAR Media Posdact - on SKIB

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 05:15 Housekeeping 11:47 Predictions for 2025 13:25 Alex on Red Dead 1 20:33 Jim on Death Stranding 25:42 On Skib & Older Brother Core 42:34 Mid Break 45:30 Doomin' Futin' 47:46 Upsetting Monkey Question 49:37 Be Worse? 56:46 Doopin on Loop 1:04:10 The Greatest Gift 1:05:53 Canadian Coming to UK 1:07:59 Properly Breaking Down How Bad Ryan Reynolds Is   #Brocast40

Should we do a gold type thing? You did it for too long. You made me lose all my money on gold. How long do you think humans have valued gold? Um, since human live? Do you want the, what the books say or the truth? Yeah. Yeah.

Both? No. Just one. Just one? Okay, you can guess. Um, gold has never been real. It's a concept designed. It's like a fake...

It's like Bitcoin before Bitcoin. Oh? You know? I'm yalling it on my tiny chair. What are they called? What was old school chemistry called? Because they were obsessed with making gold. That's why it existed.

Old school chemistry. Yeah, like chemistry before it was a science, when it was more like magic. Frankenstein? No. What's it called? Scream seal. Yeah, you're supposed to scream into the seal. Can I have a go?

I want to scream into the seal. I knew I foresaw this happening. I knew you'd want to scream if you saw me scream. I'm jealous. You gotta be careful because it can leave you feeling kind of lightheaded. Isn't that why it's good? It's like a rage room. You heard of these?

Oh yeah. But apparently they can actually make your rage worse, I was reading. I think abundance of anything creates an abundance of that thing. So if you've only got screaming rage, then there will be more rage. Don't do it. I like it. Yeah.

Oh, it's making me tingle now. I'll tell you what's making me tingle and it's the New Year, New Jar. Oh God, yes. New Year, New Jar, good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. This is Brocast Number 40, I'm your host Alex, joined by Jim. Peace! Peace, that's our new catchphrase. P-I-E-C-E-E-E-S-S.

P-I-S-C-E. Peace. They're feeling peacey today. I gotta go, peace. I got some peace in my pants. Um... Before we get too deep into the show... I feel a bit rusty because it's been a couple weeks. Yeah.

Because of the Christmas period. I feel a bit tingly because of all the screaming. Yeah? Well, let's... Let's just say that's only the beginning of what's to come of this year. Oh. Here we go again. Before we get too deep, let me shout out of the patrons over the J-Media Patreon. but get a number of perks make the audio version of the show possible get their ad-free

non-stinky version some some call it some have coined it the uh yarl kind of version you know that's not all there's jafter hours as well which um recently been on a pretty good kick of uh we did our favorite songs on there or spotify rapped we did the wallace and grommet as good as they say and uh the upcoming one which we should supposed to be recording today is the wallace and grommet vengeance most foul is it as good as they say we've both seen it people are asking they want to know what's up with the new they need to know w and g they have to know so head over to the patreon for that um and uh there's also the jo-media group chat on there as well where we kind of pluck suggestions for each episode or go in there before we record and say hey what's

we'll talk about this time and then i'll take one probably and then we'll talk about it this time or half of one um and oh my god there are so many perks over there there's one and almost forgot and that's the patron names if you're a dibby tier above you get those read out in the first or second week of each month that'll be next episode yeah you know got to make that first month into the year a splash um so we'll do that in the second week so we can get a nice collection of names and uh just yarl them on over there i like that that was like a play on yell but with a j like y'all no I'm definitely feeling the need to yell into that seal a bit more

yeah I am you are so the rage room theory is perhaps correct yeah I already feel it building like every time you do it the next time you do it will be nearer do you know what I mean um no

like let's say for example you scream seal like the word seal seal my favorite singer seal yeah yeah kiss from a rose and then you can do another scream seal in five minutes let's say

right there's recharge on it yeah that yeah and every time you do it you need to do it more it's like um accumulative do you know what I mean Acculative you know what's I been I do I do know what you mean then

that's the housekeeping segment we round off conversations I guess from the last two weeks or something hmm um quondale dingle barnacle jones

the third said I don't know why but whenever y'all talk about music it's my favorite thing y'all yeah they're probably from the deep south

or something should I try again I don't know why but whenever y'all talk about music it's my favorite thing y'all y'all

y'all shish you fool I don't know why but one other y'all that's better um yeah maybe that's new year new me new music on the bloody phone block maybe we can become the busiest music nerds

yeah our goal for this year is to become fantano but British yeah and they're two of them are ye good at least more funnier at least more British yeah to be fair Canada is Britain

just colder what do you mean by that we own it owned uh we still own it we still own what we own gibraltar we don't quite own canada yes we do hmm they they're they're ours well when america is ours then no america got away America broke free they're the one that got away Yeah For now For now No they've all got away nowadays

Now what we have left is Gibraltar Yeah I was gonna say We've got So you want to bring back empire We've still got Wales You want to bring back empire Yeah

You know what we need India Yeah We miss you India Come back It's like I want the sun to never set on that empire nowadays ever again. I've missed the sun not setting on my empire.

Yeah, I'd wake up and go, ah, day for me, night for the empire. And vice versa. Why do you think good afternoon, morning, evening or night was the thing? Because of the empire. Yeah, we're broadcasting to the empire. Wait.

But if the empire is so good, why did George Lucas call the bad he's the empire? Because he's American. He broke for. He's the one that got away. Yeah. Ah, now it's making sense. Yeah.

It's propaganda. It makes sense. Yeah. Oh, rebels are good and stuff. Yeah. I'm not getting there. Um... Yeah, so New Year, New Me.

That's the point of nothing. Yeah. New Year, New Year. For some reason, Grimes and Elon are mentioned here. That's another thing, like gold, that there's always a group of people that's like... Will you talk about Elon? too much talking about Elon oh the funny thing is the funny thing is i will concede we talked about gold for maybe a little bit too long we didn't talk about Elon nearly long enough he gets maybe

five minutes in an episode yeah you know that is not that is not too much talk about him maybe we should do a whole episode yeah i happily could maybe that should be a joan seal for that one maybe if there's a slow week and we need a jafter hours we could do an Elon Musk episode yeah just for those people get it all out an Elon Musk um problem you can't get it all out with him because there's always something new. Like, have you seen the latest one? Which one? The one about him, like, someone pretending to be him?

Him pretending to be himself on an alt account. And he's like using a voice changer, and then he just turns the voice changer off. And then he's like, MAGA Republicans are going to have to deal with it. Something crazy. What? I can't keep up with it.

Yeah, there was someone even on the job of the group chat that said, um, either have you seen the Elon Alt account he made to basically praise himself. I don't hate. the big tech bros because out of all of them Elon is the only one that's giving all of these crackheads a voice okay wait what i'm confused there's no voice i don't hear any i don't get it bro i'm not even gonna pretend that AI i think that might have been when he turned it off maybe i don't know bro that's not the first time i'm pretty sure he was revealed to be a um a baby fur

what it's like a subsect of the furry community he's a baby fur there was something to do that I don't know I thought he was in this is what I'm saying though I can't keep up with like who he is what he is what he believes I thought he had he he was more into the the video game out over under over watch I thought he liked he had Amber Heard like dress up as the healer oh yeah yeah that was that was forever ago now though Yeah, he's on to other things. Right, yeah.

Other interests. I guess he's an eclectic individual. But yeah, we support Elon Musk. But N. Good Smith, so don't worry about Grimes and Elon being friends. That's right, because I was talking about Grimes and how I like her music and actually think she's kind of cool. Deeply in love. Um, they separated after having three children. X.

Let me try that again. X. X. A.E. A-X-I-I. That's one of them. dark side rail and techno-mechanicus and uh heise replies out saying techno-mechanicus sounds like something a morton joe would name his kids yeah or something from like warhammer

techno-mechanicus exa dark side rail me what's but what does that have to do with them being friends nothing i think that this person just wanted to make fun of the children's names which i'm four. Yeah, um, apart from techno mechanic's, that's cool. You, I picture like, I am dechno mechanics. Yeah, I guess Elon Musk is, he's like preparing for, you know, when it's like cyborg.

That's his, his child for testing cyborg bits on. Um, yeah, that was most of these little monsters I wanted to get out there, to be honest. Okay. These little nasties. Well, there's one other simple one from the Jamita Group chat, just saying predictions for this year. Oh, God.

Any predictions you want to lay down? Yeah, I've got a crazy one. What? I think Kea Stama's going to go to prison. Yeah. And then Boris will be back. Don't member bury Boris. Yeah.

Yeah, with a Boris biopic. um like conjunction now I'm taking I'm taking that to it's logical extreme they figure out how to bring back Margaret Thatcher yeah AI Thatcher

yeah yeah so she she comes back um and she AI tactically figures out how to get America back into the brintish empire

oh that's the strat as we she's how we get empire back the empire strikes back yeah led by maggie t yeah Maggie T2 leading Maggie T2 yes Empire Strikes back and T2 combined

yeah um Gulf War 2 as well so Tiger Woods will be there the Gulf War yeah no the Gulf of Mexico

war right You know, because we team up with Mexico to get up to America. Undubitably. And blam. Should we just go to Mexico and we're the ones sent to Mexico to like get them on board type of thing? The diplomats. Hello?

Buenos Aires. It's funny to say that because I've been playing Red Dead One. I just got to Mexico. Yeah, yeah. So far, so far away. Yeah. John is so far. I forgot, I heard, I think it was, um, it was Chris Reagan on the Snark Tank.

He was talking about Red There One for some reason, and he described it as being almost like Wizard of Oz. And I thought that was like quite a good way of putting it, actually. Because I haven't played Red There One in a long time. Yeah. And obviously I've been so deep in Red There 2 and all that. And it's a lot heavier, less kind of like hoppy and funny. Even though there's lots of humor in there still, you kind of forget if it's been. in a while and there is like in that it's like over the top it's like the way these characters

present themselves there's lots of um stereotypes as well like irish and stuff yeah it's like it's like a stereotype and then you're ramping up further beyond the stereotype even um and that's where a lot of the humor comes from is just these absurd characters interacting with someone as like ugly and straight face as John yeah yeah so I'm like regularly laughing and I don't remember that line or this like weird dynamic or this commentary hidden in this humor yeah like that about it but it's feels a lot older obviously yeah I find the gameplay a way more competitive and silly yeah yeah obviously like just as simple as like when you fire a gun there's like way less feedback and it's more like it's just what you'd expect from a game from 2010 I guess for saying that

it was a lot more advanced than most games from 2010 yeah true like the mocap and everything and yeah there's a lot of uh like hand animation i think in the cutscenes um yeah using mocap for like the actual detail yeah yeah on like fingers moving but also their faces uh yeah the way the faces move and stuff very intricate it's that like it was that interesting time where it was kind of a lot of games were using motion capture but it was that combination type thing instead of like everything looking photo realistic it's more like that Halo 3 type look yeah

these realistic motions but there's also like animation obvious animation then it gives it this kind of cartoony style um yeah it was pre um uncanny valley

yeah you're not finding uncanny valley in there for sure um there's just some funny things like god you rock it around on that horse yeah you're like flying through the environment yeah i guess they were worried that um you get like bored or yeah yeah that's kind of and when you like break in a horse or something like how long it takes

it is it's like funny it's like comical to watch like the amount of movement that's happening and how long you're doing it for it's yeah yeah yeah it's goofy so i guess that's something they couldn't mocap as well yeah and just like the general like jank of certain things like um the what do they call that not trailers the wagons they go so fast you're not you can't really flip them in the same way they kind of like anchored so you can just do great you can just go so quick they slide like crazy yeah yeah they've got like the physics of a car from gta4 yeah and i don't know maybe i'm just more used to too but all these times i'm like trying to navigate through the

environment i just get like caught on something or like die because I'm just trying to get round like an object The character gets stuck on it And it's like, well, I couldn't get around this Because the controls like wouldn't let me But yeah I mean it's still an awesome game

The thing that's like Aged it most for me though is actually the audio It's quite tinny isn't it? Really tinny audio Which and this weird effect I don't know if it's just like my setup Or maybe something on my PC that I've got like toggled on but there's this weird

audio effect when you're when you're not pointing the camera a character they're like they sound like they're miles away I think it's to try and make it sound like immersive audio but it's so like quiet and muffled when you're not looking at them I found that really weird I tried it with headphones on and just out of speakers and it was neither really worked as far as that it's way like lower quality but you forget you you forget like how long ago that actually was and like well what other what What other big games there were.

It was 2010, right? Yeah. What's that like Portal 2? Just before Skyrim. A year before Skyrim. A year before Uckham City. Yeah. So, yeah, you can see the cream of the crop

nature of it. It's just funny revisiting in retrospect. I'm just hoping now that it's on PC, maybe there's some rogue modder out there like going to figure out some way to like map it into red dead two or something yeah that would be insane the standout like 2010 mass effect two um bioshop two allen wake halo reach full out new Vegas mafia two enslaved odyssey to the west so yeah that it definitely stands out compared to those um but yeah it was pretty unprecedented for te toime

and actually good dialogue as well there's a yeah a video came up in my YouTube algorithm that just happened to be a clip of Red Dead one when you first visit the like sheriff in that town and there's the guy sat in the cell and yeah yeah yeah yeah that whole interaction is it's straight out of like a movie I love how dirty it is as well oh it's like yeah that's that's something that did kind of of get lost with Red Dead 2 is just because the fidelity is so good you you lose like a cartoonish level of filth yeah it does hurt the like environmental uh like variety though yeah it's all just like this kind of gray brown sand goo yeah it's nice when you get to mexico

and there's a bit more green um there's the cool like orange rocks and stuff yeah yeah that's kind know where I just got. So yeah, stuff like that. I was going to say something else, but I forgot. Yeah, I got that in the sale, and did you have anything you wanted to bring up along these lines if I've just kind of, I'm just speaking about Red Dead, one.

Um, I mean, I could talk about death stranding again and try and convince you to play that. I will one day playing it again because I got the director's cut version and they did add some cool little things and like a goofy it's like a buggy or something now right I think there's a um I haven't got far enough to get it but there's a what do they call it a max suit not a a hot rod I think oh really yeah like a but it's an electronic hot rod road because all the vehicles are electric um yeah yeah i just of that game um i i think every year that goes by it retroactively becomes a better game because of the commentary or just because that well well this this is another game that um donkey like hated on at release like red dead two afterwards was like I keep going back and I don't really know why did you hate Red Dead

too I remember him being like critical of certain aspects of it he never like hated it but like he he's wasn't unanimous he's he's made an effort to go back and say how much he how it's developed yeah like whereas death stranding was much more like this is the biggest piece of shit oh he was an anti-stranding yeah um and now he's like he kind of gets it mm-hmm that's fair enough but it's just like so it's so simple it's like the there's there's there's this can't be spoilers to you but there's there's the infamous line um the princess that's beach that's one of the only things i know about it yeah is that line but like that line comes after norman readers is like so well i'm Mario and you're just princess peach you know

Like, it's, it's the game being aware that it's just, like, the most basic thing ever, but it's, like, how you can make that, like, work? Like, just being a fucking game. I love it. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll see the Death Stranding movie in the next few years. Yeah, I'm fucking hyped. I'm, I think it's going to be sick.

If it looks like, like, the game looks photorealistic. They have to film it in Iceland, then. Yeah. um it would be full of cg so in that regard don't even bother because like the games look good enough or maybe it should be better the games probably better yeah they they will because like that blends with like a a neo photorealistic scan of norman readers will look better than norman readers stood in front of like the what's that thing that screen thing they used for oh the sphere the unreal engine yeah i know you're talking screen thing i can't remember what it's

called the blibbidi blot future 3 000 the google movie maker 3 000 yeah Microsoft movie maker yeah um but i'd go see that at the cinema yeah i don't know also in in the director's cut he's added like a bunch of jump scare random like just it's just random scenes where there's there's a mechanic where you can go into your like safe room at certain places and that's how you like restore your stamina and stuff and you sleep um and i was just in there and i don't remember this ever happening in my other two playthrues i was in sam's safe room pan the camera around to the door to leave and then the door opens which it never normally does and it's just a black void out right and then i press the button to leave the

room and he he gets up and it's a different cutscene of him like cautiously walking over to the door and then he looks he looks out the door and it's like under the ocean and there's like crabs upside down crawling around and shit and then the camera pans around and a whale goes like at the camera and it's like a jump scare just shit like that is so much fun i know kajima would like are there whales in death shandy or is that a dishonor thing i'm crossing wires with or both there are in death shandy and metal gear and avatar too especially avatar too mostly avatar too huh and james cameron's life yeah true Well, speaking of life, Jesus.

There's something I wanted to talk about. First, let me start with an anecdote as like a, just a way to get in this direction, right? We went to London. It was before Christmas, right? We're meeting up at a bar in London. Yeah. On the way there, I was obviously on a train at some point. And I like doing this, uh, I mean, we can debate if it's intrusive or not.

No, I know what you're going to say, because I did it as well. Yeah. The way, like, train seats are designed. And you should be aware of this anyway. This is like a PSA. If you're on your phone, the person who's kind of diagonal to you, but behind you can see your phone. So I like looking through that little gap and seeing what these psychos are like messaging each other. I've seen, I've seen gooners.

Yeah. On the train to London, like just casually watching. P on the Or um The reason I bring this one up Because on that journey It was it must have been someone who was like

I don't know 15 year old boy He kept opening Snapchat And I was just seeing like his phone routine In action It was like a 15 minute train ride From like central to somewhere outside And yeah

Just watching the brain rot from someone else's perspective in real time, it's like, whoa. It was like, go on Snapchat, refresh, waiting for a certain person to reply, no reply, go off onto some like brick breaker type game thing until we lose, then go off of that, go on to Instagram, look at everyone's stories, then I think it was TikTok, no, Instagram reels, go through a few of those, then the Snapchat reply comes in, goes to Snapchat and it's just like, oh my God, I don't know. And then they reply, on Skib. I see that typed out, on Skib, send back to Instagram, back to, and it's like, what is on Skib? It's Skibody

toilet. Yeah, but what is on Skib, like on God? Yes. So Skib is, God's dead and Skib is alive. Skiv was born the moment God died. Yeah. Skib killed God. I just kind of... Something about the Sibbidi Toilet syndrome is really... I don't know. Like, how could anyone predict that?

The... Presumably a Valve fan who knows how to use... What's it called again? The stuff you animate in? Source filmmaker. Yeah, source filmmaker or whatever. I thought... Was it not G-Mod?

Yeah, it might literally be Gmod. So just some, like, and Gmod is like our childhood type thing. Yeah, yeah. So using Gmod and half-life assets build this short thing that Zuma's love. And I guess whoever are under Zumas is Generation Beta. Um, which is actually what they're called. These poor sons of bitches. When's Generation Sigma?

I mean, we will get there. what if that is the generation just like fixes everything yeah yeah world three jean fucking segment oh so what are the beta is going to say the day they start it would be cool if it was the betas that actually sold everything like yeah go against the stereotype um but yeah like i guess that's how some people communicate and talk um which i found fascinating just to see it in the wild because it's like i keep going back this idea of these things that are online everyone's like no they're not real they don't translate into the real world and then you just see people in the real world communicating in

the fake world with terms referencing a giant toilet monster with the g-man in it yeah but i feel like if like if you say on skib in text to your friend then you're going to say on skib in real life yeah there's a lot of sort of insinuation and implication around yeah the usage of that But this is exactly why I don't have, like, multiple social medias. Hmm. Because it will be, like, YouTube shorts, okay, I'm out of fuel on this one. Yeah, farm the dope of this one. Yeah, jump to Instagram.

I'll get a bit of dope from that, and then jump to Twitter and get enraged to, like, refill the, or empty the dope meter, to then jump over to whatever next one. yeah but part of what I wanted to pivot to from bringing that up obviously around the holiday periods we get together with our family and we've got like a lot of younger cousins right yeah heaps and they always like seem to be babies until like the last few years where they're like bigger than us and they're just suddenly adults um Pretty much. So you can have, like, real conversations and, you know. Yeah, they're actually all giant. Like, no joke is fucking, we have a, we have a 15-year-old cousin. He's the tallest one. Yeah, he's enormous.

He's like six foot 12. And the thing is, you see him one day, like, I don't know, we last saw him like six months ago. Yeah, it was in summer of when it's like, football. was on yeah yeah and it was like yeah he's he's getting pretty tall type thing and then you see him again it's like yeah yeah it's weird if you're only seeing them a couple a handful of times a year yeah the change there is nuts um i didn't hear any i didn't bring up skibbidi toilet actually or maybe i did and one of them was like what or something because they're more they lean way more like indie they like indie stuff and what really was making me lose my mind was like one of my cousins came

up to me and was like, so do you prefer Halo 1, 2, 3 or Reach? And I was like, what? Why are you playing Halo? Do they play Halo? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Because the older ones are about 19 and they were like, they're obsessed with this aesthetic called older brother core.

And there's a, the more you realize that everything just works in these 20 year trend cycles, it really all starts cooking and makes sense. Like, when I was younger, it was like the 80s. And I guess for them, it's now the early 2000s. So it's like Halo, Skate 3, that kind of, just that, the diary of a wimpy kid and like, this, that kind of aesthetic. So I'm just like, what the fuck? This is really weird to, like, come up against because you're like romanticizing my childhood pretty much. yeah yeah yeah i don't remember really doing that quite like that i didn't like build an aesthetic

around like the 80s i liked the films that were inspired by the 80s that just happened to be big at that time i guess but i didn't feel it's quite yeah it wasn't intentional no but i think most people do some form of that though like have a style thing that they're pulling from yeah um the early 2000s is like stylish now um but for like yeah so yeah i don't really know where i was going with that but i just found that interesting like oh this is like a first for me i get like oh i'm old now i guess if my childhood is like the retro thing mm-hmm i mean it's it is cool like the the we we talk about halo a fair amount and a lot of it's been doom and gloom but to

hear like another generation being interested in Halo is like, you know, mate, maybe it's not fucking dead, I'm buried where it belongs. Yeah. No, that's cool. But one thing I fucking hate, and I'll be, I'll be honest, um, talking about fashion and stuff, this like ultra baggy gene trend. Mm, that's where genes are right now. Like, uh, I'm, I guess I'm like boomer now yeah so I feel like what it means to be old is getting younger and younger like we're gonna get to a point

where it'll be like five year olds looking up at 10 year olds and being like shut up boomer um but yeah I I fucking hate this trend what's wrong with it though you want them tight and showing off asses

no no because equally the inverse is like horrible skinny jeans yeah like the my my head goes to like um what's it called like what's our jersey shore essex yeah the only way is essex type like with white tight jeans center of birmingham at like 10 p.m yeah or they're they're in landsa grotty or something and they've got like the skin like a guy who's got a little bit of a beer belly with a skin tight jeans and it's just like fucking hell that's the worst thing I've ever seen I get the same feeling through his jeans yeah yeah I mean at least you're not getting that with the super baggy jeans but I actually don't mind the baggy jeans I prefer that to skinny jeans yeah yeah that's I agree it's it's less um it's not revolting no I prefer I prefer the interpretation now of the early 2000s then what the fashion actually was in the early 2000s.

Yeah, that's valid. Do you think that's the case for all? Like, that's always the case? Like, it's always the 80s? I don't know, how do you improve the 70s? Yeah, true. Yeah, they figured it out.

See, they had both. They had jeans that was skinny, like at the thigh, and then really baggy around the ankles. Like, they did both. Best of both worlds. no I mean when I look at stuff like that

it's not so much like I think you look dumb it's like I'm I'm thinking more about me wearing clothes I would never never wear like trousers yeah that was kind of been my like mullet thing as well yeah that's kind of how I feel about mullets

where it's like I can't do it just because it's trendy right now I can't because I feel like it's not right for me I feel like I'd be like a poser doing it yeah it does suit some people and it's like fine it's like I think it's I think it's it actually looks a lot better on women I think yeah yeah I think a mullet just it doesn't really work for guys and I I don't like some but it's it's almost like how you interpret it and some of them you see are just like you look like isn't there a GTA character like GTA 5 a character that has a mullet and it's like just ringing in my brain

right now or like is it the hillbilly guy That's like the bad end of like what you want to avoid Yeah But what about like Theo von He has the aesthetic there Because of like where he's from and the accent And I'm like I never even thought about That's never clash for me

But when it's like It just makes sense When it's like an upper middle class Like Bristol boy Who's like Dad is a lawyer or something Yeah Yeah

I don't know if that really really works for me yeah i don't know just do what you want i just hate fashion i just want to be ordinary i want to just be like bart simpson right it's like my wardrobe is just my my outfit yeah yeah i might do a christmas episode now and again or like a halloween thing uh-huh but let's let's just keep this simple you know communist i want everyone to be dressed like bar every day Yeah. That's, I guess that's the idea of like school uniformity. Uniformity.

I think we should all have uniforms. Like just depending on your country or worldly? The world. Ideally worldly, but I... Just the human... That will take some time to get there. You gotta get the empire back, get the uniform in through the strong arm of the empire. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. New year, new me. New empire. Yeah. New year, new empire. New Margar. New Margar.

grit. What's going to call it on skib, new year, new empire? I kind of like that. On Marg. On Marg. She's our god. New Year, New Empire, on skib, in parentheses. Yeah. There's workshop that, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like they need that kind of rhetoric to get the gen betas into the military. The G.Bs, the great British army. For skib. Oh my God, yes.

Yeah, you have their like VR headsets on. make you see skibbdy toilets when it's actually like you're strand striking skibbby toilet yeah yeah i love this world i love i love i libiddy this world i'm looking for liberty from this damn liberty liby skibbidi liberty skibbidi liberty yeah you put your headset on and you look at the statue of liberty and it's just it's one of those camera robots yeah bomb it

yeah I think we're on to something I can't I can't Is that a sciop I can't wait till we live in the proto-sy-op Techno-Helscape

I'm looking forward to the point when I don't know if what I'm seeing out of my eyes is real I'm already there I just showed you that like Vegas dome EDM yeah yeah

but I want like every day to be like you want to like walk to work you want to leave your house in the morning and like don't know if you're in hell or not or heaven or wherever i would say like what we're describing is Vegas yeah you're like in a haze you don't know what's real you're always a bit drunk it's like a cyberpunk dystopian nightmare of like taxis with these like lights and moving images and yeah adverts like you can't look away from adverts. They're in your heads-up display. Yeah. You can go to like booths and like have inception technology used on you to give you party dreams. Um, yeah, it's all happening over there. In the land of the liberty and a free and a skibbby. Saying that, I had a dream last night that I

was Aaron Paul. The actor or him playing a character in some. That actor. I was. I was. I was. him. That's Jesse, right? Yes. Have you seen that video of where he lives? Like his house in the woods. In the icy, snowy woods. Yeah, like a dream cabin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what saying bitch will get you. Yeah, he goes out hunting. Does he? No. No, he's a vegan. He took our eggs from the salad. Peers. yeah we're gonna get peers on here what if what if um like in the history books right in the future like that was the inciting incident for you know they're in like fallout vaults oh they teach like pears morgan writing out eggs from the day that the egg was taken from

the salad emoji it was it was like that was our hitler being kicked from art school right type moment um we'll see after these salads these salads without eggs in don't do it peers life can be a dick sometimes so get your dick from out your hand and don't be a dick Wear a dick. Digg the head t-shirts available now. Check the description below. Um, um, hello. Can you hear me? Yes, this is not as a trick. You are hearing me. How do you like that? See how easy ASMR is? Yeah, you're hearing me, baby. Yeah, hmm, ready for the sound of this.

before we move. Okay. Um, we were talking about Elon Musk and how you can never stay up to date. Yeah. On him. Because he's too quick. He's too quick.

He's like the flash of... Yeah, he's the flash of the Marvel universe. That's what they were setting up in Iron Man 2. Ooh. Um, A... Prophetic. I, I, 44 minutes ago. How long have we been recording?

46 minutes Right, so just after we started recording BBC News article on my phone No, Elon Musk says Nigel Farage Doesn't have what it takes And Reform UK needs a new leader Him Him! Him! We're gonna have King,

King Musk! He will want to be Prince first. No, that was part of my philosophy of like wanting to bring him up constantly so then when we're being executed and we've got either it's either king musk or um president musk and he's made it worldly illegal to talk about him yeah that's be martyrs you know that's a great irony oh england's gonna turn into a communist fucking marks his hellscape and then like it's already

lost to it yeah meanwhile he's trying to actually murder people who make fun of him on Twitter. Call it X. It's not Twitter anymore. Call it X. Shut up. Pussy boy. Well, if you made it this far into the episode, I want you to comment.

The Po are after me. Sadface. Huh? What? You know, the Po. From Star Wars of the Force Awakens. Oh my God.

God, please. Please, stop it. This thing really moves. No more. Um, well, yeah, I guess we answer questions from the, uh, jail media suggestion thread over on the subreddit, not FNAF. No way is that FNAF? Never has been.

Never has been, never will. Until the one time I put a suggestion thread on there and get banned. Um, the red spore can get us going, bear, bear boys. Linguistics jarling here. You guys have spoken a lot about AI on pre-haired. previous cast and recently AI has been getting me down. I've been very passionate for a good few years about language learning linguistics and recently I felt burnt out because of AI and the prospect of AI making what I've spent the last five years building to be pointless.

My question to you guys is do you have any instances of AI taking away fun from something you enjoy? Alternatively do you think you could cope if the JAR cast became AI generated and you no longer had to sit and record each episode? What? Can you tell? Could you tell in this hyper third school? Could I tell? If like... How do I know that this isn't an AI?

If we put into the computer, beep boop, beep. Generate 10 jailcasts and like, they just seem normal. As normal as one could be. Would, would that take the fun out of it? Um, yeah. Um, well, I guess if I had to... If I was told it has to be AI by the producers. Hmm.

Which might happen. No promises. Yeah. Um, no promises. Um, yeah, I guess it would. But I don't, like, as long as it doesn't have to happen, then... I would like to do a little experiment or a test. If it was good enough to actually generate one, I would generate one, upload it, not say.

See what people say. then go from there you're saying you would try to just for science not queble would it make you consider yourself would you say am I even like a thing then

yeah I've been ever since this has taken off I've been in a constant elongated existential crisis yeah about the very meaning of but one must imagine Sisyphus

Sisyphus sat at his Apple laptop coding New AI Just getting kicked back to square one Um Gremie Jame has one Which I was debating on bringing up

But sometimes Grammy just needs a head check Okay Or at least like a check-in Like, are you okay dude? Because this one's just like I'll just read it My great grandpa apparently owned a monkey. Here are the only two things I've heard about it.

He used to put cigarettes out on its penis. And it froze to death in the garden. Apparently this was because of a power cut or something, implying his outdoor cage, which I assume he slept in every night, had some sort of heating that prevented him from freezing to death much sooner. But if I had a monkey, I would love it and keep it inside with me, and nice and toasty. So he's either telling the truth, and this is a horrible story, or he's lying, and I'm even more concerned.

I'm equally concerned either way. I'm hoping Grammy James is like a fragment of someone's personality in this just, like, their creative writing exercise. Someone's id. They're trying to figure out everything through Grammy. Yeah. You know? It's like a just a... It could be one of an AI's tendrils.

It's probing tendrils. I didn't even consider that Grammy could be an AI. Yeah. An AI tendril, not a full AI. Yeah. It's part of one. Like a, um... Because that's...

Sift. That's how AI gets their information. They probe. You know, Google... They probe and sift through Cora threads and Reddit threads. They send out heaps of tendrils just asking Redditors different questions. The source of all knowledge. You know?

Finally, the Redditors can strike back. We need to start misinforming the AI It's just the astronaut with the gun Isn't it? Yeah Um, no hush says Alex Why do you never use your internet powers

And influence for cheekiness? You actually have quite a big audience And communicate with high profile people Much more so than the average Joe. I feel like you dipped your toes into this era Sorry, in the era where you're tweeting at pepperami and flashlight

but you never dived in the ocean. You said you need a new use for your Twitter account. Here it is. You could get easily get critical drinker to come on jar and expose wokeness. Perhaps ask him which woke celebrities, Rachel Z, Gler, Catherine Kennedy, etc. are Madagascar characters. You could use your immense following to gain the attention of jar icons such as Joe Pascuali. I bet genuinely, if you tried hard, DM'd him and used enough of your following you could get Ryan Reynolds on jar.

At least over video call. Japsetachai did it. I get to some degree you have to maintain a good reputation, but come on, what are you wasting? This is written crazy. But come on, you are wasting potential. Why not get cheeky? Do you genuinely never consider it? If I had what you had, I would go crazy.

I say, start with drinker. Move on to Trobe Baskwali, then Ryan Reynolds, and then the final boss, Jordan Beef Peterson. Just imagine asking him the human centerpiece question. um we were just i was just joking before we started how i could um i could radicalize you can radicalize so many people i could be i one week and i could be a grifter one yeah one day one day one video yeah you'd have to then like um what do they call it brush shoulders is it brush yeah massage shoulders with the i'm thinking i was gonna say rub shoulders But that sounds like a message.

No, it is rub shoulders. That's the phrase. Yeah, rubbing shoulders. Yeah, I don't know. Just in my head, that sounds weird now. Because that's the visual images. It's like, oh, hello, Elon. No, I thought it was like your side to side.

I'm picturing, like, rubbing Elon. Come on, Elon. Well, yeah, I mean, that's where I was going. I was going to say you'd have to rub shoulders with, like, your, Jordan Beef, your Ben Shappie, your, um... What's the British one? Which one? We've got a few.

We've got a few. You know? Fucking, um... He's in, he's indisputable me. What the fuck you doing? Russell Brown. Oh, brand. Oh, right.

Yeah, I get it now. Don't get fucking vaccinated. Him. Wow, yeah. You'd have to rub shoulders with all of them. You'd have to give... With giants. their tosy wosies and things so i'm thinking man i'm trying to think what like the

the strongest first strike would be you know the first bomb of the carpet bomb of like just becoming a grifter do you start you either start with target first i hate woke that's part one and then i've no i think you you have to drip drop it That's what I'm saying, it's like, I hate woke. In woke, woke's not just one thing. There's a whole spider web. No, but I think woke is going too deep. You're already losing a bunch of, I'd say, like, go after Kea first.

No, that's not broad enough, though. It's not, but I'm saying, like, step one, right? You make, this would take more than one day. But if you want to do it genuinely and actually become, like, one of the villains. No, I'm like Batman. I get planning time. If you want to become one of the suicide squad, then this is how you do it.

Yeah, you've got like, because you, not only do you need to totally convert into a baddie, you have to try and convert as many other people. Yeah, no, but that's why I'm thinking broad. You can't go straight for Kea. That's like on the side channel. That's one of the, that's a mini rant.

Yeah, true. But you don't go straight for woke. You need to use a different. to code it a bit more yeah right um you need it in layers of dog whistle who's like a a famous woman um taylor swift yeah i hate taylor swift no no because you'll be chewed chewed up you'll be chewed out for that charlie xx nah i couldn't even pretend No, it's not getting to the heart of it enough. I think I've figured it out.

Yeah, I think I have two. You go first. Go after any... Because you already do movie stuff. Go after any movie with a woman in it. Yeah, we were thinking a similar thing. I was going to say, like, start with the new Wallace and Grommet and be like, why are there people of colour in Wallace and Grammage?

Yeah. It's meant to be quintessentially British. Like what? Yeah. God, it's easy. And fruitful. Yeah. It only...

You essentially get an infinite money tap and you only have to pay with your soul. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. Yeah. Like you're, you're poisoning your very essence. Mm. For the ability to have a boat like Dexter, the serial killer. Yeah.

Which, to be fair. Really nice boat. Is a nice boat. Slice of life. Yes, I have been watching Dexter again. Was that the question? Something to do with Dexter. Dexter. Have you been watching Dexter again?

Well, now that you ask. Um, yeah. So I don't know how we got there. Oh, Grammy. No, this was after Grammy. This was no Hajj and the not using internet powers for cheekiness. Oh, right. And I just talk about to, like, radicalizing people. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the same thing. Ending moateness.

No, I mean, being cheeky. Like, being cheeky to an extreme is radicalizing people. Ma. How was I radicalizing people saying Killzone suck the ass on IGN forums? Um, because KillZone is the tried and true story of anti-fascism. Ah. Antifa. Um, I'll slash Jal media is a good one.

Casey Nystatt used to have an old Mac pro setup with a monitor in his office slash studio solely to play The Godfather on Loop forever. My question is, if you had a similar setup in your home office or even on the jar set, what would be your film or media of choice to play indefinitely on Loop? Think of it like a modern photo frame, I guess, and it should be muted, obviously. Would be fun to get joke answers as well as serious answers for this one. The obvious pick is mad too for Alex, but what would your choice be for something genuinely beautiful looking that you would play on Loop Forever?

I've actually done this, I'm going to be real. Really? Yeah. When I got the projector, I started doing it. With what? Oh, I remember you saying, actually. Yeah. I've put the movie Stalker on a couple of times. Uh-huh.

It's like horrifying, right? Um... Horrifyingly beautiful. Oh, okay. I need to watch that movie. Yeah, it's incredible. So? Saw?

No, that wouldn't be your one. one. What will be your actual one? Um, the, the truck scene from Furiosa. You could just like get a video file of all the Mad Max films like in a row and just play that. All the, like, all the driving scenes. All the driving bits, yeah. Yeah, we'd just have like the Thunderdome scene. Yeah. Just that scene clipped out. I want to see Mel bounce in. You know, I want to see him dangling and jumping and speaking. Finning, yeah. Like a pirouette.

Mel bungee. Bungy Mel. Yeah. A genuine one, The Batman. That's a cool moody film. Got great visuals. Yeah, I'd say Batman and Robin. Yoda scenes.

Or just all the Yoda scenes. All the Yoda scenes from all the Star Wars films. That's not bad. do you include baby Yoda no fuck that too far yeah

they ruined it they ruined baby Yoda they made baby Yoda woke ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah I don't know man just funny gifs

yeah oh a blade runner 2049 no the original no the original no the original's way too woke No, the new one is the woke one The old one is when everything was never woke

And everyone hated women Wait, but that's now Hmm I'm gonna have to rethink this People hate women now more than ever Um, Barbie Pretty and pink It's a very pretty film, yeah

very pinky Although Ryan Gosling is getting old Yeah he's too old and ugly Yeah he's getting real ugly That was my first thought when I saw him God he's ugly Yeah and stop being funny You're meant to be hot

Yeah you're only allowed to be one thing Yeah you're not hot anymore You're just funny now And old Yeah old and funny And wrinkly Not young and hot A wriggly

Wrinkly old Nasty Nasty boy Who's bad at acting as well probably yeah good at singing they yeah only a little bit though only really good decent at singing but quite really good at dancing yeah and ugly and he's probably got ADHD yeah bet you hmm yeah yeah you can't be hot and funny it's um that would be in the new empire one of the rules like pick a lane

huh pick a lane yeah you get to be one but it's not funny if you're hot yeah if you're hot then you're sorry not funny anymore

when did chris pratt stopped being funny when he got a six pack when did camille nangioni stopped being funny when he became our guardian an lima guardian of the galaxy

yeah what they called again an eternal an eternal that's right an infant infinitum, an infinitium. I was like you a sidekick. Kamail Nijiani. I'd say that we pretty much solved it.

Don't be ugly, don't be old, don't be too funny or too strong. Yes. Just be one. Be one thing forever. That's also going to be a part of the new empire. You just get given a role and you, you bloody well do that role. One thing. You have your one thing.

You don't get to. do other things you know that's for other people it's not fair what would your one thing be um um walking you just walk yeah i just walk yeah i mean but the the whole point is that i wouldn't get to choose right yeah what do you think would be okay you give me one i give you one okay um knives I'm a knife expert. You're a nipple, tipple. All you do is tipple nipple. No one else allowed.

I just... Milk, forever. Farmer. Only a milk farmer, though. Only... You're only allowed to farm one type of thing if you're a farmer. Only you were allowed to handle those udders. Yeah.

Get away, they're mine. You go sit down. down at the cow and you're like, hold up. This is not how he left those others. Yeah. And then you get, you like dust them for fingerprints and get them sent off it and find out his little calf has been sucking on the nipple. Yeah. Take him away. He goes to the gleeck. Yeah. So I think Casey Neistadt would probably watch. Um, is that this question? Yeah, Casey Neistat, I would sit down with him and watch the godfather two i'd watch the godfather three with him and megalopolis that's it okay megalopolis would be a good answer

just have that going on i'd have holes so the shire yeah yeah what would shire's thing be what's he watching no what would his one thing be oh acting obviously I'd say prison. Your job is to be in prison. Yeah, this is your role in society, prison. Thanks for that question. That was a good one. Oh, this one from Final Investment, 5302, was just crazy.

Hello, boys. Thought I'd share a little something something. I brought my brother for Christmas this year that you'll probably kick yourselves for having not brought each other. It's a piece of the original absorberloff costume. I was mind-boggled that this even existed and couldn't believe I'd actually gotten my hands on it, mainly on account of the fact that there are only five left in stock. Similarly to you bros, the absorbo-o-man

has been a running in-joke between my brother and I for years. Thus, I'd be remiss not to share it with two bros, who I similarly whack-job sense of humour. I only hope my brother doesn't disassemble its glass casing and touch it. would be a real shame to see him get absorbed. Game on, gents, and a happy new year. Much love from a long-time jarling. And they put a little picture with it, look.

Like, what you get. That looks far too expensive. Doctor Who, love and monsters, Absorboloff piece mini display. First broadcast, 2006. Well, 20-year cycle. Absorboloff is back on vote. Next year.

Yeah. That was Peter Kay, right? He was the absorble-off. Yeah, he was. who was also in Wallace and Gromit Was it? Yeah

Who was he? The cop That was Peter K I believe so Oh right Okay They only just found out Who the gnome was

Who was the gnome? Rees Sheer Smith A great British actor You'll know his face He was in like Psycho Bill and stuff Oh yeah Yeah

Okay Nice Rees Shea Smith Nice Um That is a great gift, though. That is an amazing gift.

Very, very good. I think there are three more to do here, I think. The minging moggis says Bear Bear Boys, Canadian jarling here. Early next year, me and my family are heading to the UK for a three-week vacation. There will be some touring around, starting in Scotland and then later England. So all that is to say that this might be, my only chance to ever witness Swindon first hand, the blight down of the real world, or so the legends say. So my question is this.

end up in Swindon. Where should I go? Obviously the magic roundabout, but what are the other classic spots for you? And the other Swindonite jarlings. I want the full Swindon experience game on. Away. Yeah. On your way somewhere, go across the magic roundabout. Then you've seen all there is to see. Yeah. The only other option is, is it the Barqueaths? The smashed in one. Oh no, that's Bristol. That's Bristol, yeah. Yeah. I think it's Barquoise. these on the the area on the area yeah yeah

and then like one 10 meters away is the like shanty town slum which I think is worth an experience if you're going to stop in Swindon I might be telling lies it might be HSBC or something but it's a bank I've been there for a while

it's a bank in the centre of Swindon you can go to it's like near where we walked into that shopping plaza and all the shops were gone like that area I don't know what it's called Bruneale Light Town Yeah it is Brunel

Yeah the Brunel Just walk around there and um The Blightown Yeah Yeah You can go through the Poison Lake Get a few items on the way Just be careful of the weird like wobbling bridge

Yeah And the giant mosquitoes. And the really bad frame rate. Yeah. It takes you like twice as long to go through it. Um, Ryan Reynolds bidness says, Hey guys, Ray, Ray, back at it again. I really appreciate Jamie.

Becoming sympathetic to my cause. It means the most coming from him. After each of my new movie's sense, my new movies since. Well, since RIPD, I guess. I've waited with baited breath to hear B's thoughts? Say this in the thoughts voice. His thoughts? Say this in the thoughts voice. Are the only ones that matter to me. Not even my wife, agents, children's, ex-wives, gay lovers, Roger Ebert's, Mark Commodes, thoughts. I mean, thoughts? Say this in the thoughts voice. mean anything of substance to me the fans the herds of peeps lining up to the trough

of mediocre ontertainment to gobble away and greedily lap up my wee and poo say this with the and voice what's with like the stage directions yeah this is weirdly controlling what is the say this with the and voice and to gobble away and greeb to gobble away and greedily lap up my wee and poo say this with the

and voice what the fuck I just don't care for anyone else's thoughts these days except for Jamie Beltman's but that Alex guy was still pretty mean to me though but like for real answer my flipping questions actually like what's my

and worst roles and what types of roles should I be doing also thoughts on Ryan Reynolds the voices so the question was what's what's like review every Ryan Reynolds movie post RIPD um after each of my new movie since well since RAPD I guess I've waited with bait of breath to hear beast's right okay he's saying he's heard them what roles should should Ryan Reynolds take because i i still believe that this is the real ryan reynolds this is old yeah and it's like so it's so on the nose it makes it believable yeah yeah um would you like let's say you've talked as much shit about ryan

reynolds as me and then you meet him yeah do you feel a bit guilty no what if he's like i know what you said i'd be like well come on jar and we can talk about it no really what would you say would you cry I'd get out my phone and say let's podcast right here right now yeah yeah if he got his like Instagram he started streaming on Instagram it was like you I know what you've been saying about me so he's like got his audience yeah yeah and I'm like oh Ryan don't do this to me they're gonna kill me and someone in a dead podcast costume like decapitates me or something yeah yeah this is what happens when you mess with

ray um so what did he say r a pd show he list off what he's made since then and you can give them like a little no he asked for advice on what roles to take no he said since rip d I swear now he said he was he's been waiting to hear my opinions on each of these movies but I may have given since ripped D though Oh, right, because we talked to, we, yeah. So look, Rip D, just catch everyone up. All right. The voices.

Uh, right, that was next. Really? No, bro, you're going to lose your mind when you get this, this string of films is actually ridiculous. Wait, what did he do before, Ripley? Turbo. Wow. He was the snail in Turbo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I mean, whatever, Turbo. I'm pretty sure Russell Brand's in Turbo, isn't he? Snoop Dog. is. Yeah. He's the American Russell brand. Um, um, uh, the voices. One of your favorites. You've never shut up about that film. It's, I like, I like bad films, right? But I can't even like this film. You're saying it's, uh, scientifically impossible to like the voices. i think so i genuinely think so he was jerry mr whiskers bosco deer bunny and monkey

in that film okay um a million ways to die in the west no and he played himself he had a small cameo i think as himself yeah yeah yeah um i like that movie say that I don't I like bad films that's the type of bad film I like a million way yeah because it fucking stinks but like you can be like wow this fucking sucks you can do that with the voices going no the voices is just like I'm bored out of my fucking mind like it yeah it's not embarrassing no it is embarrassing because of how unembarrassing it is right it does nothing it makes you feel nothing it makes you it makes you have depression so I'm guessing the next four here you haven't seen any of I haven't seen any of the captive Mississippi grind woman in gold and self slash less I don't think anybody's seen them

um it's selfless the one where he is it's Gandhi who becomes Ryan Reynolds oh yeah maybe I have seen that actually I think I start in real estate mogul transfers his consciousness into a healthy young body but soon finds that neither the nor the company that performed it are quite what they seem a 6.5 from 100,000 people and a 34 metascore in 2012 sorry 2015 what made Ryan Reynolds famous um depo no he was already famous he'd been like he must have been like a child star or something he must have been on like some TV show I don't know I genuinely don't know because I've never liked him I remember yeah he's never been in anything good yeah he was I think he was a child star on some show called Hillside in the 90s. Oh, okay.

It's just, I... I would have thought, looking the way he does, he'd have no trouble getting a role in one good film. But he'd... You think, huh? He can't seem to muster it.

He did a lot of romantic comedies for a while. Yeah, yeah, he did the proposal and stuff. Definitely maybe... Just friends. He was in the music video for The Lonely Island, threw it on the ground. Really? That's probably the best thing he's been in. Then he was in that 2010 film, Buried. Yeah, I guess that was his attempt to being...

...in serious. Which he immediately followed up with Green Lantern and the Change Up. I've seen the Change Up. I think the Green Lantern fucked his career. No, it made his career. Because now everything he does now, he can do a joke about that film and that's like the funniest thing. I think that's him trying to own it but he can't let it go because he wanted it to be like his

Hugh Jackman X-Men type moment but then he gets it though anyway he got it and more maybe because then I think he still knows that Deadpool sucks deep down yeah after self-less then it's Deadpool 1 than

criminal then life did you see life that was the one where is yes I did I watched life yeah okay you know what that might be the best Ryan Reynolds film

genuinely because you get to see him getting fucking killed that's I mean that's not why I do spoilers for life Spoilers for life. Ryan Reynolds gets like eaten from the inside or something.

Is it Jake Gielanard? Yeah, for some fucking reason. Like he's a, actually he's been in a lot of bullshit. Um, he was in Roadhouse. He was in Roadhouse. He was in the Prince of Persia movie.

Yeah. Um, Michael Fassbender was in, that famous Persian. Assassin's cream. Yeah. Jake Gillenon. the name like gillenhala yilanhala um yeah no i genuinely believe life might be ryan reynolds best movie bro you're speaking a bit too soon because he followed that up with the hitman's bodyguard a cursed cursed yes that film was cursed as fuck i think that's another one i i hate the hitman's

bodyguard way more than any deadpool movie Yeah. It's unacceptable. It's another one. Like, I can watch Deadpool One and be like, this sucks. But it's, it's like doing enough for me to not turn it off. Yeah. At least you get T.J. Miller.

Yeah. The Hitman's Bodyguard, much like the voices, is a movie. Like, I will sit down and watch. the voices part two no dude my my ability to recall things is actually fucked

I think I've got yeah mine is terrible too I can remember every frame of the voices but I can't remember any of the voices I can't remember which animals are actually in the voices no what's his name the he made like Jack and Jill and shit oh Sandler

Adam Sandlow I'll sit down and watch murder mystery with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston I'll be engrossed in that film for its whole watchtime I can't sit down and watch

the Hit Man's Body God because it's completely unwatchable yeah it's it's just Ryan Reynolds has this magic ability to choose

not only bad films but like the worst films films that you can't sit through how has he made so many of them physically impossible and he's like an a list celebrity yeah so then there's nothing after that after the hitman's bodyguard there's nothing till Deadpool 2 wow then um was he in in anything between those two two and three yeah he was on oh fuck yeah duh duh uh

that fucking awful fucking movie piece of shit film which then he fixed and followed up with um first and furious hobbs and shore oh shit yeah i actually got he was in that shit fucking film but then he fixed that one with six underground oh my god another one another unwatchable shit stain of a fucking movie how how how it's like five so far how the fuck and i mean rip d is one of these as well let's be honest. Rip B is fucking atrocious. How was that not a career killer?

How does anyone come back from Rip B? Yeah. Because nobody saw it. Like, he was in the crude's a new age. Didn't see that. I didn't see that. He's just in deep with Dreamworks, I guess. That could be his best film. That could be the redeeming. That could be his best film. But he followed that up with the hitman's

wife's bodyguard. Oh my God. How the fuck did they make another one? Because it made so much money. This is, this list is fucking crazy and guess what you followed up next free guy yeah it's free guy next another abysmal fucking atrocious film but then he fixed that one with what came next what do you think you've seen it i've seen it yeah i've seen it it it was the biggest film on netflix that year

oh red natives yeah Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Seeing this is actually blowing my mind like this. This is my point. He's the worst. He fucking sucks so much. Then it's the Adam Project.

Oh my God. Fuck. Oh my God. They're movies that are designed for you to not even remember while you're watching it. So you get reminded of them and you just remember the pain of. This genuine. This is crazy. There's still more, though.

Next is Spirited. The Will Ferrell Christmas movie with him. That's on, like, Apple TV. I didn't even... Looks abysmal. Yeah, well, Will Ferrell. Then that meme movie that I think also was on Apple TV called Ghosted. I don't know if you saw any of the jokes around that movie,

but it has Chris Evans and the Blade Runner 2049 AI woman. Anna Darmes. and he's in that as the character Jonas apparently it's supposed to be horrendous I never actually saw that the next is if did you not see the the John Krasinski film with like that purple

thing right yeah he's the purple thing right no he's the like guy who interacts with the purple thing oh the purple thing is the office dude that's Krasinski no I think Krasinski just directed it he isn't the office Yeah, you're right.

No, I mean, um, the main character from the American office, grew. Oh, grew, yeah. Michael Scott. Yeah. And then tapping it all off, they're poor Wolverine. Which I haven't seen. That is a string of films so fucking horrendous. That's a decade as well.

Have you seen if? No. What if it's fire? You know, somehow. Somehow like that. It might be the one. It might be his good one. I'm like I'm a little bit shocked for some reason even all of this information was in in me

but seeing it like presented back to me that way is like yeah categorically it's undeniable that he has no worth as an actor when Reynolds like a like a cryptid like a collective like parasite that's like he's come from another word world, another dimension, and he's just like, he's gone for a power and he's somehow managed to poison the nation. I think he must have monkey poured or something. I think he monkey poured like, I want to be a Hollywood celebrity and he does it, but he's never allowed to be in a good film. That's the, that's the curse. Yeah. He got his wish, but at what cost? well was it were him Kevin Hart in the rock holding hands yeah they're in the same

room and holding the same monkeys ball and they made the same that was all three wishes from the monkey yeah yeah yeah that's crazy no i i i i i i i j it genuinely um like fucking up sets me what he represents him and the rock those two what they represent in film is is like it's anti art yeah yeah exactly it's a hundred percent anti art it's um well like you know in some interviews with celebrities they they seem like a person you know they might be a little bit awkward or a little bit you can see some discomfort in their face or something something human yeah yeah yeah when you watch Ryan and he's got like there's something manufactured about him like he was 3D printed from a machine he was he was coded by

Sisyphus like I don't know he just he wasn't born you know no like loaded in he free guide in he um he's like a glitch like something went wrong in the code when Sisyphus was doing it and he's like like rogue code yes it like simulation theory is it the plot free guy it's based on his real life yeah or he's he's the player and we're all just the the bots with the AI with a game yeah and we've been played by Ryan well I feel like we are collectively being played by Ryan because like I see it and it seems obvious to me but The only time I hear, like, laughs from the British audiences is when there's a trailer for the new Ryan Reynolds Project.

Or, like, there's a Deadpool trailer. That's the only thing that gets a rise out of, like, the audience. Like, I went to see a comedy. And no one laughed during the comedy film. But during the Ryan Reynolds trailers, people were hollering. Really? Yeah. Was it a good comedy?

Yeah. I think it was an aura. Oh, okay. Wow. Fuck. I don't get it man Maybe I'm the weird one Maybe I'm the freak

I mean I feel like I suppose two things can be true at one Yes it's more likely that He's just funny and charming and handsome Yeah he's funny charming handsome Which is three things by the way He should pick a lane

Yeah He should have one But maybe we are the minority maybe but I think it's going to be one of these things where it's just going to

turn one day just something because people love watching Goliath get just killed by David you know who's going to be his David

his son oh shit his son's going to be in one good movie he's going to introduce his I don't know if he has children

I don't freaking know but he's got like 40 children Depple and son and Spiderman or whatever Tom Holland is his son Oh

Then it gets complicated Yeah The thing is when someone like Tom Holland shows up Because like I I feel like a lot of the time When you criticise someone in Ryan Reynolds position The default reaction is like You're jealous

You know You're not charming You're not funny You're ugly You're not handsome and you're not rich You're fat, ugly not funny and not in any films

even shit ones you're not even in them and so yeah okay but like it's someone like Ryan Gosling easily hateable because he's so funny and handsome

and charismatic and charismatic effortlessly funny yeah and can twist it into drama on a dime yeah yeah

but like you gotta like him like you can at least respect him because he's been in some fire fucking great films you know loads of fire fucking great films yeah he's a classic actor he's a great guy I personally would be friends with him you could have 10 different

Ryan Gosling fans and they potentially each can have a different answer of which film has their favorite performance or character of his end and each one would be valid Whereas like what it what options do you have for right? Deadpool one, two or three I rest my case or life

Which is where I stand Yeah Should we organise a way to I'm just gonna flee for that I've thought about it well let us know your favorite ryan reynolds film and why we're wrong i want to genuinely i really want to be convinced

that i'm wrong but i think it's i think it's actually too late for him like yeah if he was like what's like an oscarry film from this season that that film conclave with rave finds he's like a priest or whatever um if he just swapped out

fines for Reynolds I don't you're like you couldn't take it seriously because it's Ryan Reynolds and he doesn't play characters no he's Ryan and you're like paying for Ryan what was it

I only like certain actors can escape that like I feel like a Nicholas Cage where he's at he's at he's got like a suite of movies is actually a weird experimental are good yeah yeah he's good in them yeah and he also has the shit that's like embarrassing he's validated he's allowed to do whatever he wants yeah because he's proven that he's capable of doing yeah yeah the serious he chooses not to you know or he

chooses to do something like totally out of the blue yeah yeah if you went if you did the same thing on nick cage's imb there'll be plenty of times it would be broken up by like oh that was a cool weird interesting choice or something you did that's fun or out of character or yeah yeah yeah that was a genuinely good performance yeah you don't see that from RR I don't think he's in it for that though

he doesn't care well if your uncle was Francis Ford Coppola I think you probably feel secure as well he's the Drake of the music the film industry in my opinion Ryan

yeah and even then I still think you could make a better case for a good Drake album oh yeah yeah 100% you know people like Drake's probably a better actor yeah I'm surprised he's not in a Drake music video he might be yeah he was in the Taylor Swift one I think that was credited though so be that as it may or something yeah yeah Bye, don't get us, Ryan. Do you think he's ever had someone killed?

Definitely. Or at least Blake lively has, and he's had to look. He's got like implicated in it and it's like help cover it up. Yeah, yeah.