JAR Media Posdact - ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY! - JARCAST Episode 130

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

BB. Fuck off. Fucking vicious. He's a fucking vicious. He's a fucking vicious. If we haven't you done the testy testy That's fine Good afternoon, morning, evening or night

Shut up, one of you used to clap I already did, you fucking Maybe if you were paying attention for once, Jim, in this recording session. We were just laughing at argue. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Good afternoon, good morning and good night. Welcome to this episode of the charm media podcast.

Today, I'm your host. Jamie. We've got Jamie here and Alex. I really hope that. Sam was fixed up. Yeah, same. I hope you were doing good. Can I do my impression of it?

of Argy. Yeah. Ah! I don't know how you've brought him up, but he's just... He's an angel with me. It's your combined energy

just turns him into this fucking demon. You're the one that was dragging him across the sofa. Your energy is so bad is he fucking pull him along the sofa. Like, you say me and Jim would create a monster of a dog

but my dog's like the, but a literal fucking angel. He's the best boy ever and I don't know how you think I'm not. No, this one is. Edit in that, um, that part from the Gaius episode where he bites James his leg and like pulls the skin off.

Oh, nice. That's because he was a puppy. He was like a few weeks old. Compared to him who's a bit obese. He's not obese. No. What have you been feeding him? Because he is rotund currently.

He's not obese. You guys haven't seen him when he's swimming. You can't see him when he's swimming. You can't. use that argument, Alex. Yeah, I can. Next time I take him swimming, I'm gonna take picture. Jim, feel his fur, how much of that is actual just an unnecessary fur and how much of it is a body? It's hard to say. He looks dreadful from this angle. Anyway, we got someone else in the host responsibility of this episode. For how many

episodes did we, did you make a fucking joke about me hosting? Who's here now? Who's proven everyone wrong, Alex? Well, you've still got an episode to do to prove us all wrong. Well, it's not, we can, you know, we'll just talk about poo farts. I see it. How we're gone. Anyway, what's happened this week, my boys? It hasn't even been a week.

It's been three days. Yeah, but I wasn't here last time, so... It's been, like, two weeks since June's here, so... We don't have reuben. You know, um, when I watched, like, one episode of Madman... Hmm. And I, like, didn't have... I said it was, like, about all this shit.

I was, like, completely wrong. Oh, okay. So, basically, don't listen to a word I have to say about anything. So what's your opinion on Mad Man? Watch Mad Men, because it's the best show I've seen. Did you ever... Ever fun it by accident, because you thought it was Mad Max? No.

I... The mad, the first it was two, three-letter words, which immediately grabs my attention. Right? Mad Max. Mad Max. Mad Men both three letter words which one which movie's that what so would you watch mad dogs mad max mad men did that you see also mad men is two mad men mad men

why is that max mad mad mad what's he looking at he's looking at he's looking at Yeah, he's looking at it's reflection. Just look away. You're such a fucking bad dog, Alex. But yeah, Madman is incredible. Give it a watch. All seven seasons, all 240 episodes, oh, one hour long.

That's too much for commitment. I don't know how many episodes. Can you pass me my Coca-Dola, please? Can you pass me my Coca-Cola? And you can you take the label off? Because remember, it's illegal. No, it's not. Oh, can you pass me my Cola,

brown beverage. Is cola brown? Yes. No, it's black. No, it's not. Look in the light. That's... When you have a Coke bottle, right, the sweet...

From there, it's black. It's when you look there, it's not black. It's not black. No, it's definitely... From a distance. It's opaque brown. That's black. No, it's brown.

That's black. That's brown. No, it's not. That's a really, really dark brown. It's a black. What's this, James? That's black. That's a light, it's a dark shade of grey. So, going back to the cookie biscuit ordeal, um, cookie dough.

What is that? Is cookie dough a biscuit? Well, it's a dough, so it must be bread. So James just proved me correct for the final time. Well, I know, well, what is cookie dough? So it's bread It's a dough That's not a Biscuits

Do biscuits It's come from a dough Yes Yeah Well according to you So if biscuits Come from a dough Then surely biscuits is a dough

No Because you have to cook them The dough becomes Yeah but we just ate We just ate cookie dough That was cooked Alex So surely it's not cookie dough It's cookie

Should we inform the listeners about our scheme that we've got going I don't know what scheme this is go for it I don't know what the scheme is either so inform me as well

it's a well known fact that pizza pizza is god awful it's terrible I'm gonna argue this I'm gonna argue this no no no

no shit because you used to say this and then we ordered one and you're like yeah it's bad okay no that's I've had two really bad pizzas

one of them was that time and I said that and the other one was like a week after and I ordered it myself spent 30 quid on it and it was the worst thing I've eaten

it was fucking awful why are you defending it then you just no to my point who pizza do the best deep pan pizza incredible

you can't get deep pan pizza deep pan is statistically worse oh it's definitely not Jim what the fuck is deep pan it's like a fat

juicy pizza you know when you bite into it and all the grease goes but the dominoes one that's thin the dominoes It's not, the dominole's one is thick. It's double the thickness, the deep bass.

It's making me want to vomit. It's making it want to fucking vomit. I used to love it as a kid, but now it's just like, you know? It's literally like that thick. It's a thick-ass pizza. It's quite sick as- fucking vile. Sounds terrible. I used to always get it with just, like, ground beef on it.

I have had. From Pizza Hut. Yeah. We used to go in for like pizza when you had like a all you can eat. Yeah. Oh yeah. All these memories are coming back. And I love that as a kid.

I feel like Pizza Hut is for little baby bitches and Domino's is for the lads. Oh no. But our scheme. A scheme, yes. Yes. So everyone knows Pizza Hut pizza is terrible. Domino's pizza is superior, at least in the UK. So when we want our pizza needs,

needs we go to Domino's but but after a domino's what do you want pudding Domino's pudding to a what the fuck is pudding to anyone else you know like angel delight that's a pudding that's pudding yeah that's what pudding is in America you know Billy and Mandy when Billy would say pudding yeah like it was specifically that brown slop yeah fucking really is a slot What the f- It's dessert That's messed up, yo

It's a dessert I'm pretty sure that's correct No no no no no it's completely correct If you Google pudding it You're gonna come with slop in a bowl That's pudding I need some research on yo ass Anyway so um

You just prove us why We always want dessert after a pizza You can't have a pizza If I dessert Exactly But we've had the Pizza Domino desserts We've tried

We've tried every single half of them are dog shit they took loads of them off we were OG in the fucking don't know dessert like cheesecake fucking tiramacee cake that's the fucking other thing they had cheese cake too much the worst brown is that cheesecake

it must have been dreadful no it was worse than tiramisu and that was bad what is tiramisu again is that the one of coffee in it yeah coffee like cream and stuff the Italian biscuit bottom the one that's really nice normally back like back when we're in the flat

We used to always get Domino's, we used to always get shitty desserts. Every week. Sometimes twice a week. The only options for dessert would be Domino's cookies, which are fucking incredible. They are amazing. We used to order like two boxes at a time with like fucking brownies and everything. Brownies, tiramisu and cheesecake. All of them were quap.

And I was underweight then. I don't know how. Because that's all you ate. I was swimming like three times a week. And you're just eating fucking gumming. It's not more. Nearly every day. But anyway, getting back on track.

Getting back on track, Domino's have changed their desserts now, so they're a bit better. But one thing you can't deny if you're a fan of pudding is Pizza Hut, they do banging goddamn cookie dough. Yeah, that's the thing. We've had enough Domino's cookies for a lifetime. But what we haven't had enough of is Pizza Hut desserts. They only do one. They only do cookie dough and Benangios, but everyone does Benadios. That's just the ice cream.

It's like the Beningerie. 20 quits. It's so expensive. But yeah, the cookie dough comes with ice cream, which is nice ice cream. So the scheme we have pulling, order pizza from Domino's,

order pudding from Pizza Hut. There's a pizza hut about 15, 20 minute drive away from us. In a different fucking town. So we order it, just, we plan it so we just spend over enough for them to deliver it.

Then we try and time it so they deliver the pudding as we finish the main which is the one hell of a scheme and cheeky and earlier

when the when the what is what they called pizza pizza mut the pizza hut the pizza up fucking guy

was there and we're like me and Jim hid and let James answer the door they always do that because I'm too scared but

I was imagining what he was thinking because you could see like dominos pizza boxes all over the goddamn room and argue like locked outside

staring in because he'd just gone out to do a wee and he was and of course the I get a phone call like five minutes after I place my cookie dough I'm just cookie dough I've had three cookie days

this guy calls me up and he's like hey man did you order the triple cookie dough and I was like yeah I'm sorry man but there's gonna be a 30 minute delay we ain't got no drivers to deliver it and I was like that's cool and you're saying no you can come if you drive over to us you we can literally make this in like five minutes and I was like I really can't do that can't we've

able to drive a 15 minutes to get there to just 15 minute to get back for some shit cookie there so instead of going and getting it we would sit around for like two hours We ordered it at like ape And by the time we finished The Cookie Do it was like almost 10 o'clock So In other words Worth it?

Yes No Because I was saying that we could have drove to Casper's Got Cookie Doe and been back I feel satisfied though I feel really sick I feel really sick as well I feel perfect

I clearly have a higher tolerance I searched pudding by the way And it's just loads of things in glass Let's see let's see just show me your phone yeah that's

fucking slop Alex that's pudding pudding is that what this episode is cool pudding no it's pudding no it's pudding anyway something important

happened uh well sis I don't something something that was just like a moment we were all sat downstairs

just having a chat but sitting there listening to really bad fucking music for fucking hours waiting bad music such as

the Beatles Pink Floyd Mac DiMarco which is by far the worst Toro Eumoi Taming Taming Park

Having a stroke and others Such indie classics good music taste so James Jim for some reason mentions cowboys

oh god not the cowboys do we oh no I can't remember how did I mention cowboys yeah you we were talking about boots that was it yeah said you should get long boots

and then it somehow got to cowboy boots we got to cowboy boots and James wanted to describe a cowboy boots on a girl a cow girl

yeah he was describing a cow girl but he says a cowboy girl and the justification for this is that in the anime community the anime community

in the anime community in the anime community if you say cowgirl it means a girl cow hybrid no no

is that true or did you just make that up on the spot cowgirl is an actual thing not as in cowgirls like an anime cowgirls

yeah they're an actual thing I'm not making it up they are thing because it's fucking Japan and anime it's what they do they just kind of

stick things together is it not like a furry thing oh no it's the whole thing of what do you consider for a week is just like

the 10% the 20% the fucking 100% I don't know I imagine yeah the girl

has like the legs of a cow and fucking others but the funny part was you adjusted it as if me and Jim

know anything about anime yeah I don't know anything about I made it all up on the spot I fucking

bullshit my way for that whole conversation so you see that that impressive me I thought it was like I assume so so cowgirl isn't how you refer to a cow human female hybrid I don't know what you've heard of cowgirl at in the anime

commune you see the way you said it I assumed that was just like the truth I think it is that I don't know then you said you can't say Cowboy either. No, he said cowboy, you can say because more people What do they call

cowboys then? Cowboys. Cowboys. Cowboys. But which are you referring to when you say cowboy? The Yee-Haw cowboy? The Yihar Cowboy?

I don't think there is a thing as human cow hybrid boys. Yes, there is. Only girls? I think it's only a girl thing. No, no. I think, Google it. I'm not Googling that.

I'm not Googling that one. I don't think there is, because I can't imagine it, to be honest. Hey, do-do-de-do, the cow and the cowboy. I have the innate, I have such an ability to just bullshit my way for anything. What was it, the cowboy girl? The cowboy girl. So Jesse from Toy Story is a cowboy girl.

It's a cowboy girl. You can't blame me. This was at nine, like, this is like quarter to, this was at like nine o'clock. I sup owes, it does avoid some secur. I found something I really wish I hadn't. What did you find? It's like a real life, like DNA... Can I see it after please, Jamie?

What did you Google so people know what to search? know what's a search. No, that's got to be fake. What the fuck is his face? Human cow hybrid. How was any of that human of that human? The teeth? I don't know.

That's just disgusting. That is really gross. Oh. This one's kind of really funny. I'll send this to you, it can be the thumbnail. Do you think that I'll get taken down? I don't give a shit. It's fucking like Brazilian or something.

I'll blow it in the background, that'll be fine. What the fuck? There's loads of like cyborg baby pictures now. From that, I ended up on this. So, it's what? Let's do a vote between pudding or, uh... Desert. No, cowboy girl.

What? What do you mean a vote? What are we voting on? What is this? What are the two options? Pudding or cowboy girl or pudding cowboy girl. Oh, right. What for the name?

Yeah. The name can be pudding and... the picture can be the cyclops. But I feel like we need to memorialize cowboy girl. That's true. Pudding is infinite. Cowboy girl is finite.

But what about pudding cowboy girl? Too much. Yeah, that's too much. The YouTube. Oh shit. That's too much, Alex. That's going to half our views. What, the pudding thing?

Yeah. Having both names. Like, you don't see Putapy having two names of YouTube. Speaking of PewDie, here's Meme Chat, episode six. Can I just say, you can't complain about the cowboy thing when I'm this zonked? I'm just gone.

I mean, you've had zonks in there as well. We're recording this. I'm never going to forget zonk, don't we? We're recording this on a Wednesday night at like 10 o'clock. But for some stupid reason, James wants, to record today for the lulls apparently he typed in the group chat you messaged me I mean

he messaged me at half past midnight I was asleep and he just said are you awake or are you asleep I don't know what he said you messaged me at that exact same time Jim why did you do that and then he just I'll tell you the same thing uh yeah why don't you just send a message saying can we film the cast

can we do the cast on Wednesday because I get really pissed off when people do that to me Why? It's like back the fuck down. This is my time, bitch. You're always fucking annoying because it's like, you either just say, hello? Hey. This, this transitions into a subject I want to talk about. No, it's a shame. No, can we just finish what we were just on about? Because I actually messaged me at Parking Half Us midnight and I actually thought he wanted to play Rainbow 6 with me, so it's about to get out of bed.

Go on Rainbow 6. Considering you've got to get up at like seven in the morning. I get up for like half six. You're fucking mental. On the subject of texting, I have a quicky subject, and it's a shame Rubin isn't here.

Boom, for it. Because he's on my side of this debate. The debate is emotive texting. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Which is something both of you are terrible at.

What do you mean? What do you mean? Explain yourself. So, I'm sending you guys a text. I'm like, yeah, what's up? You know? And you guys are like, hello. What do you want?

And it's, it sends vibes because with texting, you don't, you can't see their face. You can't hear their tone of voice. Right. And all this. So when, when you say what, with no question mark or anything. This is ridiculous. It seems passive aggressive. Ruben, we were waiting for pizza.

We have a story, Ruben, about this. We were waiting for two hours for pizza. Oh my God, that was Argy's fault. Oh, he's sniffing you. Aggie's going to get crunk. Okay, Jim, continue your story before this... I just want to explain that. The beer fell over because Argy was grabbing onto my leg

and he made the mic get stuck. I think the camera would have picked it up. Yeah, you're still there. You've got video comments about that. It wasn't my fault. Jim, continue your story. No, start again. It's not, it's not a story. I'm yeah, I don't know what you mean. It's an anecdote. Now we've got to explain it to Ruben. It's anecdotal. We've got to do that. Then we got to justify what it's going on. I'm going to have to get semi-examples. But Ruben, you're on my side in this debate. Am I? The debate that I'm trying to put, that I'm trying to put forth

unto... What is the debate, y'all? Can you guys listen, please? Just, what is it? Please. Right, so when you're texting someone, you can pick up on a lot of minor emotions

from the way they're texting. Oh, wait, are we in the first or second half? First. I don't... I don't... Okay, yeah, a lot of emotions from the texting, yeah. Right.

I can do that. Yeah, exactly. So, you and I, when I text you, I can sort of tell exactly what mood you're in. Yeah. Whereas when I text Alex, It's a fucking gamble. So I don't know how to text or...

Actually, I don't know. There's two extremes of Alex. It's either in a really shit mood or the best mood you've been in. And that's it. Because it's either he replies with like, yeah. Or it's like a picture of Argy shitting and shitting or something. And that's it. Today, I could tell that he was in a good mood because he kept calling me Nick.

Like... But... We're not explaining that one. When you don't call me Nick, like, I don't know what that. fuck's happening I've started replacing on the subject of Nick in my you know vocabulary that comes to mine instead of saying nigger I say friend hmm yeah the fuck you're talking about friend see how much better that sounds sound like a cowboy exactly cowboy's great what'd you do I'm friend even know about the

cowboy thing what you know what are we we'll have to watch the fucking episode like everyone else well we're only 20 minutes in right you still got a my god thanks of breaking the 4-4 wubin I was this fucking dead pole I love that movie no Ruben Jim mentioned cowboys he can watch the episode Jim mentioned boots and then James wanted to say about cowgirls but instead of saying cowgirl he said cowboy girl because he thought we'd get mixed up with anime like hybrid cowgirl people I understand! I get it! Wait, so for you, when you hear cowgirl, the first thing you come...

No, because there's cow girls and there's cow girls. Cow girls... The same thing! But cowgirls and cowboys... Knowing that cowgirls are a lot more frequent than... And as in cowgirls. Female hybrid humans. And then Jim found the cyclops.

Then I found... You know, I was... This is a mess. Share Rubin the Cyclops. If I can find it. You know, I was walking out the road thinking they'll be done by now, probably. They'll just be sat in the living room.

We waited for two hours of fucking pizza, brownie, not brownie, not, that's the cyclist. I was walking out the road, like, wait, James's car is still there. They might just be recording still, and then you were. Pizza. You weren't in the living room, and I knew shit, they recorded.

Why did you let him convince you to get pizza up? He did. Alex is the one that wanted Why did you want pizza? We literally just explained this on the cast we bought Dominoes. I got Dominoes for us yeah and then Alex is like I need some

cookie dough We bought three cookie days Anyway guys I've been listening to this great song by Bill Wirtz or Bill Verz We didn't finish Jim's pain No Jim story sucks It's not a story

Jim! No come on give me your example It was a debate was a debate about text emotion I literally sent you a fucking smiley face today that is shows enough of my attitude if you know someone well enough it's pretty easy to tell I don't think so take James for example

who always sounds passive aggressive when no I don't I just assume they're in a good mood unless they specify they are and I'm just like fuck it I'm always in a fine mood when you message me I'm always fine For example last night when I texted you James are you asleep

yes I wasn't asleep if I was to wake up No, I know, but like you said Hang on, I'm asking James if he's in a bad mood Anyway I said, would you be up for recording today In the evening at some point And then I said, I'll buy you pizza

And he said, yeah, that should be okay That's a simple answer, I would you expect When I was asleep I think ironically Jim is the hardest No, I can't fucking, I can't tell what Jim's pretty straight My F is, didn't they? What I try to do,

is not be a pain, you know? Not be a drag to speak to. You know, I'm just trying to... Whenever we're like, Jim, are you doing the car? So you're just like... Okay, I'm just going to scroll up. I'm just going to scroll up. No. You hardly say anything.

No, do not count the group chat because I don't... No, I'm going to my text with you, Jim, to like just a random point. Mine and James are just a series of images. From Instagram. No, but that's why... That's no. Alex, Alex, do you see... It's just shit. They say that they say that they have...

have that because they shit-post each other 24-7. We have actual conversation. That's why. Jim. Like my Waluigi one. Listen to this. Listen to this. Jim out of the blue sends me a text saying,

quote, I can't zip up after I've zipped down. So I replied saying, excuse me? That's a quote. No, shut up. And then you replied saying, remember that in season four?

Spell F-O-R. Then he said, ha ha and then I said what are you talking about to which you replied with another like non sequitur I was just talking with mum about how you wouldn't let my favorite cheerio be my favorite cheerio which is true do you remember that and then I said I do lol and you said cheers bro you see saying lull just then gave me a lot you know it told me that you weren't grumpy right drops a lol I drop fucking emojis emojis don't cut it 100% of the time emojis are ironic a lot of the time no because when I say lol hold on guys hold

on when I come back after these messages oh shit god friend that was a good clap what I will say is if I say long in the conversation nine times out of ten I'm probably angry really yeah if I say a lot I'm like so confusing because I just say it all the time I don't say it you're backwards now james send that to me please i need to see that sorry guys just gotta send james a meme we're gonna get flagged for the music oh jim is russian hard base yeah they go hardcore on that youtube flashlight regime is that youtube poop no no jim can you actually like i don't know what he's on about provide a foundation for what this fucking debate even is this is my point no

there's variables to it you two shit posts each other 24 seven so of course course it's light-hearted. Me and Alex have a good conversation. We always know what's happening. No, I can have a chat with my friends. I can't tell what is that what you actually are at all. If you message me, I don't, I don't know if you're angry or fucking unhappy. It's pretty no, it's not because you're so like everywhere. Jim, I sent you the meme I was talking about so everyone. Alex agrees with me. No, he doesn't. She does. What, you, you can't tell what I can't tell you ever I can tell you in person

not over message because I've drank like nine beers I disagree just for context everybody read nine okay here's another here's another example of Jim's texting possibly 10 or 11 listen

I start with a friendly hello Jim replies what the fuck do you want that's fucking question mark then smiling emoji that's the most confusing sentence we must have been trying to organise something I said what is your plan

and he said I'm going to walk to yours lol hello no but there's the thing about that is he'll say he's walking to yours but he'll turn up like two hours later just be sitting there on his desk no no but it escalates

it escalates from there though Jim is quicker in winter for the most part I love winter Jim is there He puts on a coat I'm there Yeah

That's it Every time Summer There's this big debate What can I wear Everything's hot Yeah And just don't leave the house

You should really shower Whereas in winter I'll go Three months No showers All that excess skin You're not washing off Keeping in that fucking heat

boy Practically an extra life Part of the reason This can ask is so extra lot Is the lack of oxygen in this room The windows

are not open The doors are shut, everyone's hot, and they can't breathe. I'm zonked. Most of us are zonk at this moment. I'm not even slightly zonked. I'm not even slightly zonked. I'm ready to play Rainbow 6 and get like five million aces. But I end up playing it too like one morning and I'm just dead tomorrow and I can't do that because it's mid fucking week. All I want to play is the Witcher.

That's what I'm playing lately. Rubeen. Ruben looks so edgy at the moment. Isn't too late? You do. The bags, you look really. The what? The bag.

The bags? Yeah, the shopping bags. I got bags under my eyes? Yeah, you've got quite bad. You've got... They're as bad as mine. What? I sleep well, though.

I sleep well. Unless I was that Friday. Oh yeah, there's a pretty bag, don't he? What do you call them shopping bags? No. You have some bags under your eyes. And Jim... I've just got very thick eyelids, that's all.

I feel like my eyes always look a bit swollen. Yeah, they do. You've got swollen... Alex's swollen pussy eyelids. pussy eyelids. I think I'm probably a little... No, it's not, it's swollen... No, they're not swollen pussy eyelids. They're swollen pussy eyelids.

Oh shit. Alex fucking rocking that crissy. Anyway. Yeah, come on. Let's get... Is Jim still poor sign companion? Yeah. Nice. Just making sure. Um, Jim said, after saying I'm going to walk to yours, lull, then hello.

I said, hello. And then he said, do you want anything from London? And I said, yeah? That made the same typo with me though. Yeah, that's not my fault. I thought Jim, you can't like Well, no, how would I know that? You know when I I went to type Londis, but it also corrected to London Well, first of that's your mistake for using autocorrected but I found it funny so I just sent it anyway Yeah, so then I said, yeah, and I thought it's your it's the one closest to you so you probably know what I mean I did know what you're not intelligent. I did know what you meant. That's why I said yeah and then you said what do you want quick and then I said the London eye yeah that pissed me off that made me think you're in a

bad mood I'd agree on the gym on that one then Jim said for fuck's sake Londis you cunt and I went oh ha ha one of those little packs of pringles Nick the tiny one yes son cream and onion or a rig cream this is the other day I remember because you had the pringles on the table I gave him the tiny I remember this I came in and they were the The Pringles. Yeah. By that many of them. By that many of them.

It's pretty pathetic, but... Plus two pounds. That's rubbish. You can pay two pounds and you can get way more than that. More than four times out now. It was just the right amount. Did you know, have you seen Sainsbury's? Right.

They've got these ones that are like about a bit over half the size of a big Pringles tube for less than half the price. So you buy two of those. It's cheaper than a big Pringle tube and you get more than a big Pringles tube. Wild. I'm gonna get Wild. It is fucked. Wild. Fucking wild. Does anyone actually not take advantage about it?

No, I don't think people notice. I pay attention to shit like that. Nothing escapes me. See, Ruben's the saver. Everyone shout out James for the hosting over there. Doing a good job. James has fucking been on the ball. I'm so fucking sunk, Ruben.

I want to sleep. We even played that washed out song called Zonks. And it's like, yeah. There's a washed out song called Zonk. Alex did this fucking, he dabbed. I'm better. Best friends with my own front door. So we need to get on to the big topic of this episode.

Careful, everybody. And that's the Nike boycott. Oh yeah. What are we talking about? The Nike boycott. All right? Is it Nike or Nike? Alright, let's not get into that debate.

This is another debate. But Colin Kaepernick, yeah? American football player? He was one of the like prolific kneelers during the national... He was the one who like made it quite big. He made it a prolific. deal, you know, kneeling during the National Anthem to protest, police brutality. And he's got this deal with Nike

who have been like, yeah, we're supporting this guy in his protest against police brutality and racism in America by kneeling during the National Anthem. So now to own the libs, people are burning their Nike stuff and it's like, you're just burning shit you paid for. They're boycotting. Boycotting Nike.

That's fucking own the lips. That's the response now, isn't it? You just boycott. no thing but but I think it's a bigger problem get the scissors they're doing it because of him and what he did so it's like they're choosing to boycott night because this one athlete took a knee join the national anthem over is it like

hyperpatriots that are boycotting yeah they just it's like they're choosing but they totally misunderstand the whole point of being american is which is like the right to protest is like an american idea and they're like no you can't Or then it's not very American, is it? It's the dance my national song. They're, fuck off, you pussy. Your national anthem ain't even good.

No national anthem is good. France, Russia's. Russia's is good. Nah, Russia's is fucking collapse. The original Russian one anyway. The new one is, I mean, the best one is the Welsh national anthem. That and then the French one is pretty good. The national anthem of Britain.

And that's it. Those three. Awesome. I love the Irish one. Oh, I'm the Scottish one. Fuck me. I love Sing it

The Italian one Woo wheyah To not sound a bit gay I do like Is the Italian one Do do do do Do do do Go on give it

I actually like the Portuguese National Anthem No it's So out of the sake Doodette do Dut do that's the Super Mario 3D line one I like how

I'm pretty sure About fucking night Leach to this That was the old one What That's the old shit Stop talking about the bullshit room basically if you're fucking boycott in Nike you're fucking idiot you're a fake

nationalism means more than fucking you protested people are gonna kill you we're gonna find you we're gonna beat you I mean it's they it's gonna really hurt all right they can boycott whatever they want the same way you can protest anything you want it's just like in the logic we all go and kill you's the just burning your own fucking hurt you. Yeah, and you're just burning your own clothes. You paid money for it.

It's an American thing because there's just like one fucking basketball player who went to another team so like loads of people went to save him and just burn their jerseys. Like, jerseys ain't even cheap.

They're like a fucking hundred pounds. Yeah, why'd you at least give them some homeless people or something? Exactly, but it's Americans. Give them away charity. Americans, they're fucking stupid. Uh-oh. Not all of them.

Only the stupid ones that... They live in Texas. That's a joke. cut. Thanks for agreeing with me, Argy. He's not too happy about it, is he? I hope you all saw my tweet about Halo Infinite and Dab. I didn't be...

That is my highest like tweet of all time. I'm pretty proud of it. Hey! Oh my god. Has he seen his reflection again? Argy, come here. Hey, hey, hey. He'll get fucking dragged across the sofa again,

and you missed it. It was on camera though. He was just sat here when I came down and I just... down and I'm just slowly moving and he was going, Roe-W-W-W-W-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-T-E-W-H-T-W-T-W-T-W-W-T-W-W-T-W-W-T-W-W-T-W-W-W-W-N-W-W-W-H-W-H-W-H-W-H-H-W. Why hasn't he changed? It's been, like, years. Guys, today I met a really lovely four-month-old golden retriever puppy who I think will be bigger than max. His ears were bigger than maxes and his pores were fucking huge and he's four months old.

Oh shit boy. His name was Chester. He was lovely. He was a wonderful dog. Was he a chestnut? Argy is such a fucking bitch sometimes. You don't understand, bro. No, you just brought him up poorly.

Oh, Alex brought out Argy poorly. Changed my mind. he's not an angel dog he's not an angel dog if if if if there's a visitor at my house the camera doesn't show what these two do to him behind the scenes i ain't done nothing i'm nice to him i ain't done nothing no jim and james are horrible to him but they hype him up so much did you leave any donuts for me no jim fucking ate all of them did you actually i didn't have any oh well because there was like one each for everybody i should be two there yeah i had well Alex had one.

Yeah, very nice. Who got them? Alex did. No, I did. You told me Alex for them? No, I said I got two. What? You're a dick.

I can't say, blame you, I am the doughboy of the cast. A doughboy was a name for a US soldier during World War I, and you're not a doughboy. So me. I'm the only one with, like, American fucking ancestry here. That's a lie. I come from slaves. I definitely come from slaves who were definitely in America. James came from slaves.

My great grandfather was American. with them. He was a soul joke. Everyone knows James came from slaves. In Congolian slaves. That's not a joke. I'm being well. We're with you on this, James.

We've always said that you... Look at that face! James just owned a libt hurt. Jim, I want to say that I've... Burning my clothes to own the lips. Woo! Jim, I want to say that our family have mentioned something about being slaves as well.

Slaves to the system We're all slaves We all originate from slaves How long until people that are like Anti-SJW just start killing themselves To own the libs Jim Let's buy divinity original sin

Two I don't know what that is Why would you want to buy that Because it looks pretty awesome I literally told you to buy that years ago Yeah but I didn't want it then And now I do Yo yo yo yo

let's go into some uh jar subjects okay i'll look at what uh no i've got him this is a question for alex real the n gonna rea why did you bring up your obese dog i got a big one final fantasy 50 whee-hoo you just got double n anyway if you want to leave your own questions for us to answer head over to the jar media reddit there's a message i i hate everything if you want to be in the best reddit held on over to the halo reddit that that reddit is shit what's not thank you three four three for a dating this 12 year old fucking shit game

Anyway can I answer this one This is a good one I mean ask this one Yeah Leon York says If you had Dwayne The Rock Johnson As a guest on the cast

What questions would you ask him Why are your films so shit man Why do you think your films are good man I'd ask him how he gets We would bring him down to our level And he would admit That he knows they're all shit And then be like

That's all I want to hear Dwayne That's it Now I like you more Well no because then he wouldn't be in any movies because he's calling the movies he's in shit idiot no but we're saying he would do it

can you imagine right if we all had to fight the rock I reckon he beat kill us all do you think the rock could beat all four of us at once definitely not we can just fucking hold him back and Jim can like just fucking Jim can lay in some of the hits do we just take a knife me and James will do the legs

that makes quite easy Jim gets a knife and Dwayne is like I'm knife-proof No, it would work Just promoting my new movie Rampage Lankiness

I wouldn't ask Dwayne anything The only thing I would ask him Is for him to leave I'd ask him for an autograph That's cold You wouldn't have the rock Jim, that's cold I'm against the system

Be your own individual Your own brain Guys, new playlist available in the Master Chief Collection We've got cross-game big team battle action sack loan wolves doubles halo CET marina oh yeah i care Jamie that's for sure Jim what do you mean you don't care does that not look awesome to you no what I'm blind a screenshot of Halo 1 capture the flag look at that doesn't that look great doesn't that look

great viewers it's obviously boring because it's from the same greatest as destiny maybe I'd play it if it was on the real platform PlayStation 4 baby guys I got an a genuinely amazing question. What is it, Alex? From a... Take it away! A futuristic bagel. A long time commenter. Oh, the fucking zonk.

Listen, this is a genuinely good one that we all need to try. See how long you can keep going without saying um or are. Um, Alex, your pencils are going to be in the studio. I watched today. the uh oh shit the problem is i finish like the uh i say the sound i watch the house of cards trailer thing for uh shit no mind

the tease for the tease Alex mentioned it earlier it's so ingrained into my speech I can't stop I watch the teaser for season 5 or whatever the fuck season run and Claire Underwood is all oh no one's gonna go to your funeral fucking and then it pans

from Calvin which is Francis Frank's dad in it to Frank's Gravestone it's like Friend he's just dead He's just dead Frank Honda was just dead That's Kevin Spacey's character is just dead In House of Cards

With like no prior explanation for it He's just fucking dead Because He won't be in it There's no way he'll be in it For them to be able to like For one episode where I was like Oh he fucking died

It would just be he's dead Lull He died in a car crash Or he went back to his home planet, lull. See ya. He went back to the bedroom of children. If they're going to get rid of well, they have, they've gotten rid of Kevin Spacey.

Stop making episodes. Just fucking stop. The show's dead now. Cancel it, yeah. Because it shows a total lack of respect for like the writing and integrity of the story, which was already waning in season five because season five was pretty shit. All the things considered. It just shows

a total lack of respect for any writing integrity. There's none there anymore. And this isn't me defending Kevin Space. because I'm not it's just me saying there's no there's no integrity just it's point left yeah just don't bother just let the show die whatever but they they throw an opportunity to do hashtag miter and like hashtag me too like a woman's president in a TV show well okay but the show's shit now I expect so yeah well I thought Kevin Spacey was ugly before the Me Too movement guys we got to answer this

question though what is your question Alex please enlighten us No, we gotta each decide on like a topic for each of us, and we've got a filibuster for as long as we can about it until we, um, or are, or whatever. Wait, wait, wait, that whole bit just then, I intentionally didn't um or er that whole time. Yes, so did I. I intentionally didn't um or a for that whole house. Yeah, but it wasn't impressive because it wasn't one long, free-form thing. It was little, little bit. Why don't you give it a try, her, little bitch? Yeah, you little bit.

Little er bitch. Hey, little mama, let me whisper in here. Come on, Alex, we've got to give me a topic. Alex, put your money where your mouth is. What? Okay, the subject is money in people's mouths. Bionicles. I was going to say Barney, the dinosaur, but...

I know nothing about Barney. That's exactly why you've got a filibuster for a few minutes. And I will time it. It has to be at least five minutes straight. What species of dinosaur is that bitch, huh? What is he? I have a couple theories about what species of dinosaur. Barney, the dinosaur, is.

You could be anything from a Tyrannosaurus rex to a velociraptor to a brachiosaurus. What I'm going to pause to think about is the complex long dinosaur names. Pachycephalosaurus. Just say it every time you stop. That's just a visual.

You can't do it. it is listen is futuristic bejel toss in shade our direction for uming and arring

no futurist bag wouldn't do that futurist bagel's a real joke I think he's got a thing against me I think I could do it okay what do you want your topic to be then

Mazders Mazders okay Mazders go James is gonna fucking let's see up James I give me three words 36 seconds at most

that's way too long maybe you've got realized that I can't think of a sentence that long in my head so I give it to do it I give up I can't

I wait a now I'm just going to instantly he didn't say one word okay okay everyone ask me about Halo 5 don't I don't I don't want to talk about it

I don't want to go through the story of Halo 2 so in Halo 2 the Arbiter is being like fucking fucked for his He said like that's pretty much an er

so fuck that is definitely an earth so I start again then since we've established like doesn't count so the Arbitur is being fucking fucked her as fucking failure in fucking Halo 1. You can't just, you've turned to fucking to it.

That's why I just did. You all just got a prank, you piece of shit. And then it comes to the chief who's being awarded for a success on installation 04. And then some shit happens. Because he fucking prevented. All you're doing is just reading the story of Halo 4 or 5. You can't do that. No, it's Halo 2.

You can't just do you can't. That's what they asked me. They said, recap the story of HALO. that's easy and then chief defender station he gives the covenant back there bomb and then he blows some shit up and then he goes to another fucking halo and then with the arbiter and it's a bad mission and there's a heretic who's like oh the prophets have lied to us and the arbiter's like no they haven't done that blah blah blah some other shit happens and then the chief and the arbiterer captured by the grave mine and the great man's like you're retarded the pair of you work together you fucking retires

One goody, one buddy, or both goody party. And the prophet's all, the prophet's like, Why do you speak of these stupid things, you fucking retard? And it's like, yeah, see, fucking guilty spark, you dumbass bitch. Even though he's not a dumbass, the chief and the arbiter are dumbass. Actually, the arbiter's a dumbass. The chief's a smart guy. He's not smart.

He's a fucking doe boy. He's smarter than you. Hey, Jim, watch what you're talking to. So, Jim, it's your turn now. Talk about Batman. I'll do the Halo 2 story. No, do a different game. You can't just do stories.

That's so fucking easy. Okay, James, what is the story of, uh... No, telling the story, that's fucking... Is it too easy? You do it then. Go on. That's so easier than, actually trying to explain something. Tell the initial D story, then.

Okay, so the initial D story, it takes place in Japan. There's three different, there's different... Togays, mountain passes in Japan, and there's different street racing groups. Yeah, James proved it. It's too easy. 50... Yeah, they drive, front-wheel drive cars. You heard.

How can I explain initial D? Initial D. Okay, Jim, Jim, Jim, do your one. Does that get a hello del Toro? Jim, do you do your one. Your one is, um, what you think. Oh, my course, met him. That's all. I thought you were saying what to me.

Oh, damn. Jim, what you think is going to happen in the next Avengers movie? Um, in the next Avengers movie, I was... Your first word was, um. Well, that's like the preparing to... No, you just say it. You don't prepare. you just say it you just start

Thanos is going to kill everyone he's going to finish the job there you go I don't give a shit about the next Avengers movie okay you really embrace the the fun of that topic didn't you Jane okay okay I'm gonna go deep into this

I'm gonna go with all the theories that I've been watching from the nostalgia critic and and cosmonaut variety hour and all that that great stuff so Spider-Man's gonna come back from the dead because he shot a spider web and his DNA That's an um in between the Svali that I heard that

That was an um Okay Now do you mean No no I think you you theorize what's going to happen In the real life future Okay here's what's gonna happen right That's a new HALA game's gonna come out

Angry Joe's gonna review it and he's gonna come up some amazing quip like for the ODST one where it was like Hey Halo 3 ODST no more like Halo 3 Overpriced DLC ODST is really good Okay so my my prediction for the future about saying um or whatever that thing is well it's pretty clear the world is fucked at this point so we need to basically full on go eco you know do all that shit with the the rivers and all of that because i'm moving to Norway I know we're going to move to Norway but that doesn't fix the issue you leaving us isn't going to help yeah they'll actually you know do something make a change try to improve the planet yeah move to Norway we're just filling the ground of shit like that Michael Jackson song make the world

Make the world better play Look in the mirror Where it's like What do you see Of all the children We can't just keep filling the ground Of our rubbish that we could recycle Do you know what I thought the other day

Listening to Earth song James Alex Do you want some Yeeasy boost 350s Can you stop talking about Yeezy This isn't exactly user-friendly Do you think our fans want to see you talk about Fucking Yeeat's! I just like the idea of Alex

swearing yezies. Why me? Because you're a fucking dork. Do you know what actually... You're a fucking dork bitch. Do you know what I was thinking the other day? Why do you fucking napkins exist? To wipe stuff?

All they do is get buried into the ground and you just use a teetown and you can wash it. That's a good point. We're fucking just littering for no point. How do you power the washing machine? Isn't it just made of paper? You can recycle paper. Well, what's better at filling the ground with napkins that have got food stuff on them?

Or filling the air with chemicals. I was thinking of heal the world, not a big change. Yeah. Not bearing napkins and make a big change. Yeah, but a big, another big change is wasting energy and the energy is... You don't even have to waste energy. You just... You get a bowl of water and you wash it manually.

You don't need the electricity. Well, not everyone is all the time in the world. By cutting out the development of napkins, there's less pollution. Because we're not in fucking napkin factories. Why napkins though? I just thought of it. it because it's something an example no because it's something that's a wasteful product to which we have more fusion things for we don't need them do you want to see a wasteful

products these mics plugged into that thing there why not just record ourselves on our phones because then we have to charge them more to which creates more pollution so guys what's been on your minds this week um i'm trying to persuade reuben to eat my asshole. So, why in Halo 5 do the Prometheans attack the Spartans when Kotaun has control of the Guardians and she wouldn't want the Promethians to attack the

blue team because she's trying to protect them? Ruben, who gives a flying fuck back? I do. I care. I care. Okay, bag boy. Did you know what? Bag boy?

You're a bag boy? What does that mean? You got eyebags. Because you, you were pointing at your, your fucking eyegbags. And I said, bag boy. What's just going to last on the eyebags? Is that so difficult, Alex? Having eyebags isn't a personality, grow up, bitch. It's a life.

It's a lifestyle. No, it's not. That's what I just said, it isn't. Do you know, do not, do you know, do not something weird I've been thinking about? It might not be a suitable, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, girl cows. Girl cows? Can we say go-cow from now on instead of cow-go... Yeah, okay.

What do we say when we talk about... Or cowboy... Cow-girls, then. Cow-girls? And we say girl-cows when it's a go-that-is a cow. So, cow-girls are girls that were around during the old west, yeah? Yeah, you can still be cow-goal even. No, no, no, girl-cows.

Well, yeah. It's like someone that rides around on a horse-gown. Girl-cows are cow-human high-bills. You don't put girl-calf. That sounds dumb. No, you do put girl cow, because cowgirls already exist. So it's girl cat. A girl cow.

No, there's not a thing already called cat girls. See, quickest thing that came to mind, snake, girl snake? I don't want to be on this anymore. The thing is, Joe Beaver, there aren't girls going around, like, herding snakes. I'm not called my cats. Yeah, there are, Jim. They're fucking speaking. Where is there are girls?

What? Sphinx. I just, challenge all right James just lost that battle that's another one for angry I've lost more than this battle I'm gonna I'm gonna stage an epic rap battle with the nostalgia critic against angry Joe well that's oh is it just gonna be like the KSI thing where you buy tickets and it's a fucking wing and they fucking epic white battle how much money could I make from doing a fucking me nothing

there's so many nostalgia critic fans you get loads of money yeah I want to pay for it combine that with the angry Joe fans exactly I want to die K-Sign Logan got 2 million pay-per-views. Fucking nostalgia critic, angry joke had easily past 3 million. Easy. Revolutionizing the game. How much longer were you left of this shit?

Hours, Ruben. Oh my fucking... Is it really 11 o'clock? Yes. Shit, thank you. Is that how time works, yo? Why the fuck are we filming this late? I've got to go to work tomorrow.

Don't blame you. But can I talk about my serious subject? No. We've got like 30 seconds left. It's a very serious subject and really not a for jarcast okay thank you for watching this episode of the job media podcast okay thanks for watching everyone