JAR Media Posdact - P rofanities G uaranteed - JARCast Episode 271

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 06:17 Housekeeping 14:09 JAR Reviews Greggs 48:56 JAR Talks About the Halo TV Show 1:01:52 Reddit Questions 1:02:53 Public Transportations 1:08:48 What did James do with the trampoline? 1:09:56 Swimming Memories 1:18:33 Brain Chip 1:24:10 Jason Minecraft

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this episode of the PG Tits Podcast. PG Tints. Tips? No, it's the PG Tints. PG Tints. PG Tints. We're a PG-rated podcast, which means we don't use profanities, and we don't talk about... No, it means profanities.

guaranteed. Oh, that's what PG means. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, on this episode, we didn't really decide to do a gimmick. Also, PG stands for Patreon gratefulness. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. They always are in the entry beginning of a show, right? For that patron segment. Yeah. Yeah. Because thank you so much. All of you, all of you are so thankful we are to all of you patrons who make the audio versions of the show possible on Apple mediums and Spotify's and sound clouds

the cloud the beautiful clouds of sound we are the cloud of your life yeah thank you so much cloud gaming of podcasts yeah yeah we're the gaming quite right quite right yeah the only real gamers of podcasts um before we get too deep into the show i i'd just like to shout out the Yeah, same. Yeah. Am I supposed to be peaceful on this one or something? Oh yeah, this is the people, peaceful class. Yeah, PG, peaceful guys.

You know, the PG, you know. This is the section of each peaceful episode where we just meditate for five minutes in silence. Um, um, bugga. Did you know, oming is apparently actually like really healthy? yeah for whatever reason have you never tried it it's like a cat perring you know cats per to like massage themselves

really yeah like heals them it heals their achy muscles yeah they're going like so they're meditating they're going like while they go yeah but I think humans do that as well we do it in different ways like for a lot of people meditation

is watching the 15th episode of the 27th season of a reality TV show Hmm What one please For the For the 7,967th day in a Whoa

That's the end of some people's meditation Is watching shit Uh, oh what What wrong? He said the S word I said the S word Not again off to a great start

um start again good afternoon morning evening on night ladies and gentlemen I'm working to this episode of the PG tips if you had to suddenly reboot the cast with a new intro like right now like what would it be um I'd have a crusty the clown laugh might be like Rocky Roo

and then do like a rocket sound effect yeah with like a 3D spinning intro thing I wouldn't I would I'd keep the jarge jingle and that's it then it's just into the episode but you don't

even like introduce anything you're just like the jar jingle is the intro so as soon as you hear that you know it's starting

then you just start tut tut da-na-na-na-na-n-n- yeah I specifically like the tut-tut-tut yeah

before the yeah yeah yeah just the tut-tut-tut-tut yeah old jar that would be the name of the

episode tut-tut-tut-tut-tut yeah James after things are allowed Yeah things have changed Things have changed around here They're saying we can't call things Tutt tut tut

No Tutt Tutt We call them Really Things that YouTube like You know things that It's going to pop up in that algorithm

For all their viewers in Homeless guy prank Yeah No bro they don't do that anymore What is it now It's um Homed guy prank No, it's more like spending

7,000 pounds of bank money on loot boxes in Apex. That's what it. How to win in the NFT market. How to make free money with NFTs? Buy an NFT and they'll pay you for just owning an NFT. You realize that is true. This is not a pyramid scheme at all.

I was, I, look, I delved into the NFT market and I bought a pup. No, I genuinely bought a pub because, it has like, you've got an army of pups over here, bro. Yeah, you must be raking in the like equivalent dividend things. You get so much, um, Assyrium. You just get paid out. Yeah, you get popcorns. Yeah, you get popcorns and maybe you might get a dogger coin eventually.

My pup gets Goon coin. No, I get Assyrium. I'm loaded with Assyrium. When I exchange that stuff for actual legal tender, I'm going to be rolling in the slash. In the Assyrium. Yeah, I'm going to be drenched in Assyrium, left them right.

Yeah. I've launched an NFT myself recently, and I didn't actually tell any of you, but it's called the Vizini Collection. And it's Vizini coins. So that's an NFT collection you can invest into, and if you want money, if you buy one of my Vizini collections, NFTs, I'll pay you. Just hold on to them for me and you'll just make money. Yeah. I've even got, um, Ronaldo.

Ronaldo is even holding one of my Vizini collection NFTs. If he's doing it, you should do it too. The Vise of the Vazini collection. We got some stuff to address, guys, in the housekeeping segment where we round off some of the conversations from the previous episode. You know what? I'm going to say it, maybe we should stop leaving the house dirty. Maybe for once we should just make it clean. Yeah, I'm desperately trying week after week, but the pile just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

It's maintenance, man. It's just, it's what happens when you're in a property. But especially with what happened last episode where we ate some regret, which is a 12 million Scoville cello. Which left us reeling for the first 10, 50 minutes of the episode or so. there was some interesting comments left in regard to this whole side of that episode much like Gregory Davidson who said I listened to the audio

only version of this and I genuinely thought they were doing heroin for the first 10 minutes as did Max who said put this on in the background and assume you guys were gooning for the first 10 minutes Well we actually If you think about it we were I think that is We were actually in a way

A goon trans. Yeah. Bathtop, Tom, said, after the Milky Regret episode, I was thinking, what do you guys' thoughts on spicy sweets? Also, on the same topic, have you ever heard of the 9 million Scoville gummy bear? And what would it take for you guys to try it?

Well, we tried regret. I think a 9 mil gummy bear seems like... I'd happily have the 9 million Scoville gummy. The thing with the 9 mil gummy bear is that you'd have to chew it. Yeah? Yeah, I don't think that'll be a... That would make it 10 times worse.

I disagree. No, because when you chew, especially something gummy, you're sort of sloshing it around your mouth. But I saw another comment point out our milk tactic was wrong. You're supposed to hold it in your mouth and that counteracts the spice instead of like drinking it. No, but that's what you do. You put it in your mouth, but then like the milk that's in your mouth

absorbs the spice and then it expires. Then you've got to swallow it and put more on your mouth. I didn't do the milk tactic So I generally say that if you're going to eat spice Just don't use milk Just have water Because I think that worked better for me Because we should admit

Like what was our How are we feeling after that episode What did we It took a few days for me to recover On the not in my mouth Like the spiciness But just all my insides weren't very happy See because after the episode

I maybe had some stomach cramps When I was trying to sleep Like I felt ill I felt a bit off And it was just pain And it was just Discomfort But as soon as I woke up

The next day I was pretty much fine And I don't regret At all I would happily do it again Right now Really? Yeah

Go on then Yeah go on Yeah go on You get some regret then There were a couple Other comments That went more down The lines of

Making fun of us Because of where we live Um Associate Winter said this They're British. They even said they don't like to season their meat. They all have terrible food takes. I saw this on Reddit.

When did we ever... You said we don't season on meat. I think you said that as a joke. As like a... Because I know that's like the default joke where like British people don't use seasoning. But I don't remember any of us ever mentioning that we don't season stuff. Yeah, because the only context where any of us would say that, it would be a joke. Yeah, because English people don't season the meat.

well anything yeah and it's like the whole joke that like english people think a medium at nandoes is spicy because i don't know we i'm gonna branch this into a different subject now because i generally believe that english people british people don't understand quality of food to a certain level like anything that's got flavor it's like when a british person goes abroad and they want they they order a breakfast it's like they just expect a british breakfast You know, they go to any Mediterranean country, and it's like, oh, the food was shit, simply because it wasn't a British breakfast. It wasn't like a thing you'd find in a Weatherspoons.

Just a generic British breakfast. Because you go, you can go to the best places, but if there's a greggs on that corner, every single man and woman is going to that greggs for their sausage rolls and their coffee. Because I generally believe people can disagree with me now that British people, don't have taste. Things can't be too flavorful. That's bad. Flavors bad. No flavor good. Greg's good. Reverspoons good. Sushi? Mexican food? Bad flavor. That's I believe that's the English view of you with food. What do you think, Jim? Um, I, uh, no like McDonald's full of flavors

like pickles that's quite a strong flavor that's American takeout though in it what are they ordering what are they and that's not true because more people go for McDonald's breakfast than McDonald's a normal baker of food and what is McDonald's breakfast sausage and egg

in muffin and do American McDonald's have the same stuff we do? I have no idea But what is the most popular thing on the McDonald's menu? It's a good question. It's like a chicken legend, a chicken legend, a Big Mac. It's nothing with flavor. Yeah.

But is that a British thing? I believe it's a British thing because my parents will always be the example for this because they go to McDonald's, it's just like, chicken nuggets. Nothing else. There's nothing of flavor. There's nothing new. Chicken nuggets. The tangy sauce or something?

No. Like ketchup. no no they didn't try to even go experiment with the sauces it's just ketchup chicken nuggets ketchup beef steak yummy yummy well yeah because I saw uh on the same lines Carlos Guerrero left a comment saying you know it's even spicier for them because they're British and are feeding into the same mm not true though but it kind of is true though because we're always complaining about things that are advertised or labelled as being spicy are weak they're not Yeah, no, I mean, it's true in terms of Britain, but not true in terms of us.

No, I think there's a, the difference here is that if I didn't know you guys, I would be British man, generic British man, because my parents are just generic British family. All the food they eat, everything we have in our house is the most generic, like, flavourless shit, junk that you can possibly get. And it's like, it's because I know you guys that you've influenced me to actually like flavor and to try spice and i think that's be and i think that's a cultural thing with your family specifically but we're british yeah we're culturally british you you don't you're not hundred percent british you've got that uh you've got that spice in your bloodline

so that makes you enjoy the spice in your food we have spice literally pumping through our veins yeah literally and i think that that's the difference because i i i i English people are bad with food. Yeah, but British cuisine is the best cuisine. Because we make everyone else's food better. Yeah. We just do everyone else's food really well. Mm-hmm.

Not our own. Yeah, we do better American food than Americans, better Mexican food than Mexicans, better Indian food than Indian. Better Australian food than Australian. Yeah. Back to the point, though, we actually tried a Gregs today. Yeah.

Yeah, because we made this promise like months ago. How long ago was it? It was like for two months ago, minimum two months ago. Yeah, if not longer. Yeah. That we said, we're going to try Gregs. And as soon as that episode ended, I was like, let's go get Gregs. And I think both you are like, no.

I don't actually want to. Well, yeah, because it's not a thing where, like, we're living in, like, city center or somewhere, and it's, like, two-minute walk away. Then I probably would have had one by now. We have to, like, where we are, you have to make a conscious decision. The same conscious decision where you could, in the same amount of time, go to somewhere else so it just never makes what somewhere good yeah yeah but that was the argument that people were putting forward but they're like they're rushing to work in the morning

they just want a coffee a cheap coffee sausage roll or something and how does and how does it work for that should should say that we didn't actually go to greggs with the intention of going to greggs we actually went to starbucks there and it was it lined up so we gave it try First order, I got a good old sausage roll and I got a cappuccino. And the cappuccino is absolutely disgusting. It's worse than piss. Piss actually tastes better. I tried both.

Piss is nicer. The sausage roll, incredible. I think the sausage rolls from Greg is actually really nice. Yeah. The pastry's light. It's nice and it's got flavor. A little bit. But it's nice.

I don't mind their sausage rolls. Yeah, I'm going to back you up on the side. sausage roll thing. It's like, hey, I eat three sausage rolls, man. While we were there, we got one, we finished it, and then we went back for seconds, which says

a lot, to be honest. Part of it was the, like, cheapness thing that people were saying, you know? Yeah. I then went back and I got a marguerie of pizza and a chicken bake. Chicken bake, actually really nice.

Pasture is nice. Chicken, it's just a nice little snack, but the pizza was absolutely garbage. It was basically cardboard with stale cheese on with not enough kept tomato. Awful. And it was like £1.60, honestly. Don't bother. Part of what made me so curious about this whole thing is,

I can't remember where we originally saw this video. It's a fucking tech dog, isn't it? Yes. This guy like doing, he's like mocking the typical, like, British guy going into a Gregson ordering. Yeah. If you type in, it was on jarreddit, wasn't it? Yeah. That must have been, yeah.

Yeah, I think that was where we saw it. So I have a scroll through that and you might find it. Just go on YouTube and type in Greg's meme and you'll come up as a short. Yeah, so it's been on my mind like heavy ever since. I watched it last night and I found it really funny again. Yeah, every time. It's just so accurate. And even when ordering, I was like trying not to do the like arm motions and stuff from that video, whatever.

But yeah, it was, it was fine for like, because the deal is like you grab your sausage roll. And a coffee for two pound 40. Not bad. It's too expensive. Should be two pound. It should be two pounds, especially for the cappuccino. The cappuccino is generally... Yeah, the coffee isn't good.

The coffee is just like they press a button. The liquid... It pours it out. Liquid falls out into a cup and then they give it to you and it's too hot. Which, I mean, the temperature is fine because it will cool down. To be fair, we all actually... The sausage roll itself, too expensive. It's something that shouldn't be...

over a pound yeah and I think back when it was like 80p that's that sounds perfect for today but like it's not it's not different enough from just like any old sausage roll that you can put in the oven yeah like a yeah I think they they get by on the convenience thing you know that's what we're saying like the just getting in before work or something like see I this is I am this person right because well I well well on my way to work. I drive past a Tesco Express. So if I've not made any lunch, I'm walking in and I'm buying a mill deal because it's a mill dole. It's generally great. It's a bargain. They're quite reasonably priced. So you get in there. And the thing is, they have a cost of machine.

And the cost of machine is now included in the mildil. So I am getting that coffee from that machine. And the cost of machines, not only they better than Costa, they're better than Greg's. So you're going to spend £2.50 for a sausage roll. a coffee, a bad coffee. You can just spend £3.50 and get a sandwich, wrap, a cheese melt, and a bar of chocolate, a dubo bar of chocolate

and cost to machine coffee for £3.50. The quality to price of Gregg's is absolutely abysmal compared to the meal deal. Because the custom machine coffee is actually pretty good. Yeah, it is. Like you said, it's nicer than cost to coffee.

Yeah. Because the milk to coffee ratios is perfect. It just is right. So where's cost to going wrong? Is it the humans that are serving it? No, it's not the humans. That's the only difference. It's like I said, it's the mug size.

They make every drink to fit in a generic medium mug, a takeaway cup. So when you're buying a flat white, a flat white is a short coffee. It's not like a cappuccino or a latte, but they're putting it in a medium cup. So it's just a filling of milk. So it's just a milky coffee.

Barely any coffee in it, to be honest. that's where they're going wrong and that's why Costa is the worst coffee place in the UK. If you ever come to England and you see a Costa, don't go to Costa, just find them Costa machine in a shop. You have a better coffee.

Yeah, we'll just go to any other coffee place. No, don't go to Starbucks. No, you can't tell someone, don't go to the UK and then use a coffee machine in a Tesco. That's fucked that up. That's about what else is there in the UK? True. Because Starbucks, their coffee,

not that great. They're Frapuccino, Mapo, caramel, syrup, sloshies. Great, because they've got so much sugar. That's what they do well. Cafe Niro? Good coffee. Probably the best chain. But other than independent places,

you've basically got Costa Machine or Cafe Niro, whichever's closest, because I'd say they're probably about as good as each other. Wow. Wow. Well, I think, going back to Greg's day, the highly processed nature of it, I think that's what gets people coming back. Yeah. There's something addictive about that. It's the pastry. It's like eating something. It's like being a baby bird and eating something that's already been digested. Yeah, that's probably why I could go back for the again and again.

Yeah. Yeah, when you bite into one of those sausage rolls, it's like, my. stomach like just doesn't have to work for this it feels like it feels familiar yeah in a really weird way it's like already when you're eating it it's like halfway poo already it's like almost there so your body's doing half the work to because we actually got a variety of things because i got i got i got a chicken baked pizza and the sausage wrong you got a steak a steak slice i got steak bake and a sausage raw steak bake about the steak baked tasted just like you know you can buy packeted ones for a quid from like Tesco.

In a mildil? Yeah. And you bung that in the microwave and it's like identical. Yeah. Maybe a little bit worse. It's the same as the chicken slice. It's just that. It's just a generic chicken slice. If you want a chicken slice, you think of that flavor.

Not good, not bad. Just chicken slice. But again, it's like £1.60. Yeah, not bad. Because, well, I mean, it's more expensive than the ones from Tesco. They're like a quid. So I don't really have the urge to ever eat food from Gregg's ever again. Yeah.

I fully get that. Apart from the processed nature of it. Yeah. The sausage roll. The sausage roll just tastes like, I don't know, it just brings me back to when I was a kid. Yeah.

And you just eat just the worst, most processed, nasty stuff. And you, you ordered three of them. You actually ate three of them. I threw sausage rolls. I did the,

um, I guess the no-no. The British, that's another British public thing. Yes. They have vegan options But people don't like that You had both

And what was your view? I had two vegan sausage rolls And I had one like normal sausage roll Just so I could like contrast Yeah Which is better I'm not gonna tell you that Are you gonna make me go get one?

It's a vegan one You prefer the vegan one? No actually Oh, I've see the thing is I've heard people say the vegan ones better and the the the vocal people who say the meat one's better They all that that how to put it lightly they're all the type of people to like Piers Morgan Because there is this like weird There's like a there's like a materiality type yeah I don't know why it is like here It's so silly and people like they want it to be

literally one-to-one identical. Mm. Like, and anything outside of that is unacceptable. I mean, to a degree, I understand that, because it's like vegan sausage roll. Mm-hmm. It's like, if I'm a vegan, I'm not going to be going to the place known for sausage rolls. You know? Yeah.

So I think when they can make, they can just, like, use a pipette in a lab and just make a, Greg's sausage roll out of chemicals, then... But I'm not even a vegan is the thing. Like, the idea of, like, a product coming out and then, like, the concept of it being annoying on the grounds or something like that is just, like, dumb to me.

Because I find it curious, like, just the science of it, like, how far they can push it. And, like, when the Beyond Burger came out, like, just how with each year, like, the technology and all this seems to be improved. Yeah, yeah. And how they'd, like, there's going to be, like, blood dripping out of yeah so I think on the novelty side of it's interesting to me

and also when you're talking about a product like a sausage roll where it's not like a slab of meat it's not like a steak where you're like looking at it's like the meatiest thing you can see basically where the blood was pumping through you can see the muscle you can see the sinew you can see all of it whereas with the middle of a sausage roll what the fuck is going on it's just grey mass what is it it's just sausage sausage is just like guns

the left over gun I can bite into the vegan one and be like I'm sure there's some like weird stuff in this but you know at least it's not what's everywhere in that other tube yeah because it's going to be like ground up mushroom

yeah it's going to be weird vegetables or whatever whereas like knowing that a sausage used to be like alive you know like how did it go from this pig

like a funny a funny chubby pig that makes cute noises and eats everything it went from that to this grey tube like paste it's really bizarre

I think the addictive part of the sausage roll is not the meat it is the pastry yeah it's 100% the pack if you take out a slob of grey matter and you eat it nasty nobody wants to eat it it's disgusting

but when it goes in that roll in the wall it's just really nice but it sausage rolls that must be like

a really British thing yes outside of like the UK's like obsessed over sausage rolls like us nobody is nobody wants to be a sausage please let us know

like if you're outside of the UK let us know how just insane and deranged like if you even know even know what a Greg's is because I'm sure like some of you people are like

people on the internet would know because Grace is a laughing story for anyone outside of the UK. But then why would the Gregs like memes be in your like algorithm if you're not like a Brit? You know? No, because it's like people find, it's like Twitter, right? People be like, oh, look at the English people at Gregs again.

You know, it's like a laughing. You mock England and Greggs. And rightfully so, rightfully so, we definitely need to be mocked for it because it's not nice. It's not good. Yeah, England was. they were getting away with it for too long you know yeah England needed it

it's come up and yeah needed to be brought down a peg or two you know yeah like when you look at like the legacy of the United Kingdom like all of that horrendous stuff

that was done in the name of this country and where's it landed us at Gregg's That's what it was all for But what do you think they're like Their timer is of like The average of sausage rolls sold like a minute We this like across the country

Yeah Yeah This has come to attention because when we first went in there There was like maybe 10 sausage rolls There was a fair few stat yeah It was like a whole tray And when we went in like 10 minutes later, gone.

All of the sausage rolls was sold out. The vegan ones, not even touched, still there. Normal sausage rolls, gone. Instantly, they put a whole new tray there of like 20 plus sausage rolls. And they would have been gone within 10 minutes of that.

Millions. That's like 20 sausage rolls every 10 minutes in the quiet one, just out like in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, by a hotel. Yeah. Now, imagine one in like central London.

Yeah. And how many are there in London? Thousands. Yeah. Millions of rolls a minute. Yeah. Now, I'd say a million a day easy. That's on a light day.

That's on like a Sunday. Million a day, Sunday easy, no problem. And that's, that's one pound of sausage, what? One pound five of sausage roll times that by a million a day. No, but aren't there, um, their profit margins like minimal? surely they're working on like 3% or something yeah something like greggs yeah because it's so cheap and they're buying

they're making but surely like they're not going to be using premium pig for their sausages are there it's going to be just trash but you know why I also think greggs is popular because it's a name a proper lad can get behind Gregs

what it's a Greg is like the most English name Greg Greg Greg call your calling your restaurant or, you know, food beverage place, a name, just an English name, means you'll be successful. Harry Ramsden. No, no, it's just the first name.

Call it Howies. Everyone knows the Howies. No, but Harry Ramston, that's like the famous fish and chip. We've got Prince Harry as well, right? Yeah, Harry Ramston, Prince Harry. Prince Harry, fish and chip shop, mate. This is the thing, this is where it goes deeper, because I think if you name, if you have an exotic name for your restaurant, It's instantly going to be less successful because even to the English man,

something that sounds exotic must be exotic, so you can't eat there. Change Greg's to like an exotic name. It will bankrupt really quickly because it's not an English name. I think the English mentality and nationalism goes deeper than just the food. It's the name. It has to sound British to be in Britain. I googled how many sausage rolls do Greg's cell? There's no mistaking that Greg's logo and no...

No arguing with the success of the company that sells 50,000 donuts an hour and produces 2.5 million sausage rolls a week. 2.5 million? Yeah. A week. A week. Okay. That's not quite a question.

What? 52 weeks in a year. All right. But that is much less than a million a day. Yeah. But that's still a lot, mind. Yeah, 2.5 million sausage rolls is incredible. A week?

A week, yeah. Yeah, that's absurd. I question how Britain doesn't have as much of an obesity problem as America. I mean, we pretty much do. The difference is marginal at this point. Yeah, basically. We're there. We're just turning into Little America.

Yeah. No, every time we go to the supermarket and they're gradually introducing the big mega, like, packs of things now yeah yeah but also the recently the government's um trying to clap back against obesity how what would the show of taxes no um did you notice like in greggs there were signs on all the food oh yeah no i pointed the cell and it says that an average adult needs 2 000 calories a day so it's like it's okay to eat the entire box of donuts because you're meeting your calories then that is generally what they're trying to do well I mean I thought for some reason I think this is they think this is gonna make people just be like oh

I don't need to eat more no I don't believe that no I don't think no no why would you put that by a box of donuts because you're trying to make people believe that because they need this much the the 600 calories of the donuts they're eating is okay because they need to have this much calories that's what they're trying to do is they're trying to make it okay to indulge in Donuts, indulging brownies, indulging cookies. No, no, no, no. Because this isn't like a Gregg's regime.

This is a countrywide government thing to try and combat obesity. That doesn't, nobody looks at a sign that says you need 2,000 calories and be like, Oh, oh, I, like, that's what I see that as like a, they're trying to influence you to eat more. Because if you were cared about your calories, you'd know how much you need to eat and you'd know what calories of the food you have, you're eating. Yeah, someone who's uneducated. on food isn't going to look at that and be like oh yeah thanks government let's sort it then you know well that's what i mean it's it's like someone who's uneducated looks at like they'd be like i can't eat the donuts this is why we need to have food stamps and we don't get

to buy our own food we just get given our lot and we got to accept it okay tanky but no i i think this is the government want to profit off of this because at the end of the the day there's a great you haven't noticed what this is leading to you haven't noticed the Tories are going to privatise the NHS so if they make people fatter they can get more money for the surgery

they need when the healthcare system is privatised why would putting calories make people fatter? No because if they're saying they need 2000 they'll happily buy the box of donuts that because it's everywhere so they see that a box of

donuts is 600 calories then they go to Costa and see that their coffee is like 6,000 calories. But the calories have been around forever. When was the last time you saw something not have the calorie counter on? It's not a new thing. No, it is a new thing. Because now in stores like that, like in Greggs, before there weren't calories on sausage rolls.

That stuff didn't exist. It's been around a while, but. No, it hasn't. It hasn't. It hasn't. Look it up. Oh, is that why I'm like, like on the Starbucks drinks and shit? It was, I swear it was way more obscured.

Yeah, it used to be. But it's been, it's been, no, this, we're talking like two, three, four plus years ago now. Wrong. Wrong. Look it up. Wrong. It's, it's, it's. Do you actually think that the toy government has our health in their best interest?

When they want to privatise the NHS, because they have stocks in medical companies and they can make money off the people being unhealthy. But they make money off of people's hard work. How can people be hard at work? when they're obese and dying too early. They want to milk us for everything we're worth. They want us to retire at the age of after we're dead. I don't think they want us... How are we going to live that long

so they can milk us for as much money as possible if we get fat and die early? Yeah, but trying to make people healthier by increasing the costs of the sugar tax doesn't make people stop because the food industry has been fucked has been broken for so long. why was fat the enemy when sugar's always been the enemy

they made fat the enemy it's the same thing of cigarettes like just just charging more doesn't help him isn't going to stop an addict from being addicted on that and you hit the nail on the head there that's that's the true crime

of the food industry is that we're like just helpless to this there's addictive chemicals that they figured out oh a fucking pack of rolloes actually releases such an insane amount of endorphins because of the reward system that humans have evolved to like yeah we want shit we love sugar yeah because

naturally if a caveman stumbled across like some fucking fruit some sugar it's like it's like it's invaluable it's like honey and shit energy for your brain it's energy for your fat reserves it's like invaluable but as soon as companies figure out oh yeah fucking pringles and that that short the dopamine reward system the four-hour crash of carbohydrates monetizable highly monetizable and here we are all addicted to sugar

yeah and that's you can't fix it by saying look how many calories are in it it's like no the way to fix it is to change the infrastructure of how like shops work but when you walk into a shop it's like walking into a

battle pass no it is because it's the Tesco my local Tesco is the perfect example because you walk in there's the end of the L and on the end of the L they put their special stuff that's on offer chocolate big bars of chocolate two pound when it's usually three pound

and then buying that that means the second you've stepped in you've re you're weakened yeah you're weakened it's striking away at your willpower then you're just trying to walk it's like the end of metal gas olive four going through the microwave chamber and snakes just getting cooked alive and you're like trying to get to just that's a Maltese snake

yeah and you're like and then you see the jelly snakes and it's like nah my willpower's crushed I'm getting them and then once you get the jelly snakes that's a snowballing

so just buying more and more shit it's designed that way because they have the baby stuff first the small stuff have not much sugar then at the end of that

it's like a crispy cream cabinet yeah boom or the you hit that like the amount of times we walk through Sainsprees

and it's like oh look at all these healthy things but the crispy cream is in the ice like yeah it's there You can never stand in a shop And not be tempted by something

Like no matter where you look when you're in a shop Because they've designed it They strategically place stuff on the end of ours So that you're always being sucked in by the sugar Yeah You're not just sugar The brain motion starts when you're young Yeah like cereals

You get you when you're so bad Sugriest shit around They've got the mascots, the colours You know but the thing is they get you Because it's like you can get toy bar buying chocolate so you're getting that toy fun then you're getting that chocolate Jamie Oliver has been on

this shit for so fucking long and we all thought he was a pudgy asshole my man's been preaching the truth for longer than I can even remember because I we know we know that this is suck enough but we we fall victim to it

we're walking out there and it's like because we're addicts yeah and the towees want to suck that addict juice out of us they want to goon the money out of us by our addiction to sugar so they're just going to keep slapping on tax after tax on the yummy goods we want so it makes them money

and when we need to go to hospital and get surgery to just to save our lives they've got money in that as well they're sucking us try I believe in a miserable future that's better for the world I believe

in a future where you walk into the shop and all it is is like cans of grey substance right Soil and green yeah like soil and green and it's just got everything you need one can

two times two times a day right yep you have a can around midday between 11 and 1 then you have a can between like 5 and 7 yeah and then you're sorting for the day yeah that's it and it's full of creatine

yeah then we will have a dream in society everyone will be shredded everyone will breathe cleaner that's the future I believe surely what the governments would want is like you have your food tube installed to your house

hook yourself up to the food tube at 9 a.m and 9pm every day and someone just opens the floodgates what's coming through the food tube this morning guys it's just like the tree fucking yeah and in the future everyone will have catheters and like nappies so that

no breaks at work you get a food tube for work you go to the food tube station you work throughout your food tube throughout work you're pissing and shitting while you work you don't get to clean up until you finish your shift

yeah and you don't at that point in the food tube is it's going to have caffeine just constantly I just thought of another alternative but in like a sort of utopian type society where everyone has sort of like a catheter bag being carried around by like a drone and the drone like changes the bag

and just like fills in fills you up with whatever shit you need you know so you drain you're just walking around with the bag and with the cable what like a drip yeah like a drip at all times with the drone so you have one drone up high giving you food with one drone changing out bags with a dog drone that's carrying your spare bags or something no the dog drone has like the piss bag and the shipbag that walks along no no you're thinking you're not thinking advanced enough this is in a society where

these dog drones and these normal drones they're always flying around that they're not specific for you that they weave what you need and they just fly and they drop the dog comes along and the dogs have like actual dog noses and they sniff your piss and shit and then they come and sort it yeah

yeah so the Jones will just fly around and you just get hooked up and they they stay the second you step outside it's just the train is just fucking flying around you know what I was in um Swendon outlet and I saw my first

like drone up close IRL oh really they were filming an advert for Swindon outlet and it was this drone with the camera just like they're the creepiest things they're like for going forward future's going to get wild dude

yeah when the police in this country employ robot dogs shit's going to actually get nuts because it's already happening in America and China where they have these robotic dogs

and they are just walking around yeah I've seen one in China where it was like a quarantine one and it was just like it saw someone it was just like sirens going off there's this little robot dog like a scary voice

no it's sit down citizen yeah it's robocop that's what I just said oh sorry I was like Because I've seen a clip, I think it was in America, of like one strolling out of a precinct

and everyone just like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, this is what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be genuinely scary. Yeah, really enough, I play the game called Generation Zero, and it's a survival game where the enemy is robots. I was actually quite scared because it was like,

these are robot dogs that are trying to kill me. Like, this is quite scary. The future, that being our actual future. Scary. It just comes back to that termination. It's terrifying for totalitarian states. Because you can somewhat rely on, like, the military of America or the police of America,

like being American and then them getting to a point where they think, we can't do this to the American people because we have beliefs as Americans that we shouldn't like. Well, like, yeah, if they're deployed all over London, everyone's going to be taking pictures, recording it, putting all over social media. If that happens, maybe.

But if robots are doing it, what morals the robots have? They just do whatever you tell them. They're like the perfect thing for a dictatorship. For a power structure to deploy. Yeah. It's like drones, like drone strikes and stuff. There's no morality. No, this is interesting, because it brings us something we were talking about yesterday.

And that when on these like fascist dictatorships and whatnot, it's like a circle that eats itself. And that... I read a really, really good article about it. You did? and it's like once you can't trust the people around you because they're your circle so you're always going to get taken out by them

but if you replace them with robot dogs your enemy is nobody but yourself it takes out that that can there be like I'm just trying to like imagine like a a dictatorship like a North Korea but where

there's actually only one there's the dictator and it doesn't have humans around them he's got all these like computers or like machines that are thinking for him, advising him. But I suppose it's theoretically possible. I think it, no, I think that's like the direction shit's heading. Yeah. And it's the same for businesses as well.

The CEOs and execs are just going to be like the AI of the best of the history. Yeah, yeah. Advising the current leader. Or there won't even be a current leader. It will just be algorithm based. Yeah. And all their employees, why would you employ people that have, have to go home and sleep and...

Do you think this is what, like, Jeff Bezos was already doing? He's, like, having full conversations with, like, Steve Jobs and shit. He goes into this weird room and it's just like, like, a scan of Einstein's brain and shit. Let's just change shit, man. But, but, like, Amazon is starting to use, like, robots, right? Yeah, they are adapting the drones. Yeah, they have, like, those weird bird-looking ones. for like picking up packages

and yeah the amount of jobs that are going to just disappear when they become like Boston Dynamics has fucked the world or save the world well it depends no because the only reason is

there'll be a point where it will be cheaper to put humans in space than robots so humans are the only role humans will have as being slave labor in space to establish colonies and then the robots come and they just kill us there's a right part of the population there It's the easiest, most cost-effective way.

But then surely, like, robots is that best thing to, like, send it into space. Yeah, it sounds expensive. Because they could go rogue in space and come back and... Because that's the thing... Go rogue in space, surely human. No, that's the thing. Space is so vast that whoever you send out will become rogue at some point. Why would a robot go rogue there?

You just say to them, like, do this, this and this. They don't give it shit. They're just robots. Because they'll... You can't just send the robots, because they're... be someone who needs to work on them right there needs to be engineers people who know the code and the mechanical side of it

but what about when robots can just like fix themselves yeah you send up three that all have the capacity to fix each other if they knew how to fix themselves they probably not have reproduced if they if they reproduce these fixing themselves robots they just come back and kill us

they need them reproduce no if they start building other robots yeah they can self-fix themselves yeah that's really that's what you want. Yeah, but that's the ultimate enemy that we can't kill. Unless we program them so

their number one rule is just leave humans alone but improve everything else. Yeah, but that's a whole. That's a problem because if they're going to leave us alone, they will just conquer everything in the galaxy because they're immortal and then we will be left to suffer because we

our creation is vastly better than us. By leaving us alone, they doom us. This is why we have to upload brains. We have to have infinite robot bodies with human brains. Infinite human brains. But it's only going to be the brains of like

five people, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Obama. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. And Jeff Bezos. That's it. That's the five personality. When your robot body is born, that's it. That's your character selection. You need at least one

entertainer like an alert or something no like a piece of dick robot Ellen she's the one that would doom humanity no I'd say piss a dick

James Corden it would be though wouldn't it if I was if I was created as a robot and that's the personality they gave me I would just self-destruct

it would just find a way to kill myself man um Well, before we go to mid-break, there's something we need to talk about. Oh, no. We all watched. We've periodically kind of been mentioning the Halo television show, Paramount Plus, exclusive, streaming only.

We're on episode of five as of us recording this of the show. I'm the only one who's seen every episode, but this latest episode has got people talking. Because basically, they've been blue-balling everyone for, like, five episodes teasing that the halo the halo big team battle was about to begin um so like the last 10 15 minutes of this latest episode kind of is this huge action scene um that we all sat down and watched because i was when i when i was watching it i was like scream laughing um having the time of my life because i was like i've been talking about this video game onslaught the wave of shittening but yeah it's coming and uh the just cause

movie i was just hearing about it's being made the just cause movie it's like just a bombastic movie uh the rock signing up to do and it takes two movie um just like it's this is the beginning of the fucking end of a video game shit um but this is the latest example where i guess like the The idea of translating something is as simple as... Yeah, Master Chief jumps on a banshee, jacks the banshee, then he shoots it with the pistol, and then he fucking crashes it into the phantom.

He doesn't even jack it, though. He just, like, rides it. And he shoots his pistol into the reinforced armour, cockpit of the banshee. Yeah, it's got, like, shields and shit. Yeah. But doesn't do anything. It's...

I honestly don't have all that much to say about it, other than it was, like, terrible. It was really, really bad. Yeah, so I watched it obviously with context. You two didn't have context. Like, what did you think? It's absolutely atrocious because it just, it does, it feels like it's like an hour-long movie because it just doesn't end. Yeah, it's hilarious. That's part of why I kept laughing was like the way it's paced, the way it keeps escalating. It's like really funny to me.

Yeah. It's also just like Confusing What were you confused by? It's just I don't know if it's the editing or Whatever, but There was a point where like

Chief is hanging off a banshee And it keeps coming to him Riding this thing And then it shows A different banshee Like crashing into the ground And then launching the MacGuffin That they're trying to get to a certain place

Basically back to the start of where they were. I just thought it was really like confusing and jumbly and it was probably to reuse space for money reasons. Yeah, but I had no sense of the space they were in or where they'd gone. The action itself

is like, schlocky, it's kind of average. Yeah, the CG doesn't look very good. Yeah, I was trying to just describe it to James where I was saying it simultaneously looks like they're spending, like, a lot of money on it, but it also looks jank and cheap.

It's such a weird thing because, like, the CG is, it's clearly expensive. It's clearly, like, there's a lot going on. There's loads of extras everywhere. There's, there's, like, ships, like, crashing down in the background. There's a lot going on, and it's, it is going for, like, that war movie kind of tone. Yeah. Kind of trying to, it just feels like nothing is grounded in anything. You can tell the, like, there's the CG thing happening in the back.

background and the real guys on set there's there's no like there's nothing that blends the two so it just feels because you need like expert like directors and stuff yeah what the hell they do it because it's already a challenge anyway when you're working with like something like lord of the rings you've got to conceptualize a troll an ork an ent then translate it in a way that makes it like sell on screen yeah even with as amazing as that like that trilogy is people still have like problems with the end with like the cave troll stuff like that and that's like the fuck the best of the fucking best you know so then doing like the halo show already has certain expectations rooted in a series from the early like 2000s you're trying to up that to like this huge like cinematic scale

certain expectations there and the guy who directed this episode is the director of that old ass alien movie from like 2011 2010 Battle of Los Angeles. Yeah, like Battle L.A., battle Los Angeles. And I could see, the direction was better than the previous episodes.

Um, but like, you know, there's a little bit of a difference between like a Peter Jackson and a fucking like battle L.A. Yeah. You know?

Considering that Spielberg was supposed to be attached to this show, he was the one that like revealed this whole show um, to begin with that Xbox one thing, fucking like a decade ago or whatever. So it's a bit like, do you know I could do you know who is a good match for it

Peter Jackson Zach Snyder no don't say that no that was no atrocious yeah that's what I mean it'd be awful well yeah it would have better action though

maybe it has Zach Snyder energy he loves that he loves that hypermaster in chief shite I can see him do it and another thing I was thinking the first time I saw it unfold as like maybe maybe some of the shit should

just be left to imagination yeah totally you know like maybe seeing a grunt in like a TV show it's not the same as killing one in a video game this is a thing with with like translating video games it should be animated because that's essentially what video games are they're like they are animated and then when you have like a stupid little dibby thing shooting a CG guy it's like whatever they're both like fake yeah but when one fake thing that looks clearly fake is interacting with just a real guy your brain is like mm nah well then you then the freedom you have when it is animated is you have total freedom um like design wise how you want everything to visually look like can you

whereas yeah when there is an action scene everything has to become animated anyway when the Spartans are running 80 miles an hour they have to be fully CG anyway it's a fucking cartoon fucking anyway yeah and then it won't look like weird kind of like cosplay with them like stomping around in their armor if it was all like animated and you could have it like the weight feel correct have it visually look more accurate maybe have all the voice act like that's another weird thing like Cortana is the Cortana voice actor, but then the chief guy's not chief's voice. Yeah, and he just sounds wrong.

Cortana, let's go this way. It's this kind of shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's everything about that show, it's like so, because I would, at the same time as all of that, I was not expecting it to be this good either. I was expecting worse than this. So, like, each episode, I'm having this weird, like, journey where I'm like, what the fuck is this? like what is their plan with this because at this point I'm almost convinced that like they know how shit season one is and they're like leveraging what people like about this kind

of shit TV to just get a season one out there get a viewer base up the budgets for seasons after once it has like something proven because I don't know what they're like doing with like Hela what they're trying to do talking about broad like audiences and trying to get like the old Halo audience out of it and try and get like I guess boomers to I don't know what they're doing but it might be working with broad audiences if like if they double down on this dumb shit this schlock shit I could see it building an audience yeah because like halo fans were quite happy but like finally it's the chief from the books I yeah that that's an aspect I hadn't thought about actually because that that's been like a halo meme

for a while like Chief in the books and it's like he does the most nuts shit and that in terms of Halo fans that is quite a big audience that's it like that type of stuff I've never thought well that's another extra weird thing though is that as someone who's read a bunch of the old Halo books the show

keeps reminding me of things that did happen in the books but they've been kind of retwigged to be something in the show like when Chief in this episode he like explodes an elite's helmet or head sorry

he's like going punching his head makes it explode there's like a scene in the books where he's like a young Spartan and he has some kind of like showdown with some ODS who are being assholes to him and he basically does that to one of them

right it's like this whole like event this whole thing like an important point or whatever you can like see them like trying to translate these ideas certain like beats that sounds sounds way more interesting yeah exactly way more interesting the way it's handled in the book and a bunch of this stuff and the whole there's this really cool core conflict with uh who like Cortana's based on the like science scientific character Halsey yeah she's a war criminal who only gets

away with it because the aliens just happen to invade at this certain time and they just happen to need the technology she like invented at that moment so she just keeps to get keep getting away with the fuck shit she's doing because it's winning the war so it's just like typical science fiction like exploring like the conflicts of real humanity through that lens and that's that's cool that's fun there's so much you can do with that yeah and justify the means type yeah but it's also this like really dumb whatever yeah it it strikes me as like sort of the flash type yeah tv yeah which it has like a huge fan base but it's like, I can't, you know, I can't, um, what's the term, suspend my disbelief

that much, unfortunately. Would, would you watch it there if it was like being plopped onto Disney Plus each week? Um, I don't think so. That's, I, it's, I, it's, I, bloody hell. That's not what I enjoy. Halo 4? Halo's about gameplay. Yeah, Halo's about me, like, managing to jump onto a banshee and jacket and then do the level that way.

Not knowing, just seeing Chief do that. That doesn't make it cool. Yeah. Yeah, it is weird. And they've got to figure out, like, what they want it to be. Because if they, it feels like constant action, like this, like, war movie aesthetic each episode. that would even make more sense Do you know what would have made me like that whole

scene? What? If for Chief to jump onto the banshee if instead he threw a grenade at his feet ram back runs and then yeah then I would have been like okay like that's an understanding of Halo

you know so it just there's a line as the scene begins where Quartana's like telling him what to do and then he goes Cortana well he says

I know how the game has played Cortana does he actually yeah well in the before they get on the Warhog

yeah yeah and then he goes tut but yeah but yeah it's cool I'm probably

gonna watch all of it I'm sold yeah I will buy the limited edition blueware collection

yeah I want to get the little mini figure James now tell the true opinion sick isn't it

it's generally cool I like it I got a pish Ha! Ah, fuck! What was that? My toe was stuck in there.

Oh shit. It got squashed. No, that's fine. Welcome to the second half of the JARCast where we answer questions from the suggestion thread over on R slash JAR Media. Head over there and ask us anything you feel like. Just like GD. Pippop did,

who left more of a warning or a concern. Isn't it funny how people with the top comments downvote good comments in order to make theirs more popular? That's why half the comments in here have zero or minus one votes Jha please start reading posts with one or zero votes. It will change the world Here's what people don't understand. People think I adhere to the upvoting downvote thing on a Reddit Sorry I literally start at the bottom and go up Um

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What was the worst experience in an uber or any kind of public transport Would love to hear the lad's stories Um So excluding the gaslighting granny We've done that one Gaslighting Gwainty. Yeah, at London, I remember going on the train?

Oh, fuck the... Fuck you, Gasline, Granny. I bet she watches Jara as well. Yeah. Mine would have been... My worst experience would have been... Would have been... Would have been...

Probably would have been... I don't use public transportations, I don't have a story. Yeah, James hates public transport. Yeah, I've got a car here. As a whole, public transport is a... Fuck.

It's a strange thing to go on public transport, because you get interactions. You know, that you wouldn't normally... Yeah. It's like a space because there's no British people, to interact with it yeah no that's the rule in London your feet that's the only place you're like your feet yeah yeah better not be other people's feet but it's

different in in Wiltshire yeah in the Shire yeah in the Shire people will try and talk to you right yeah and you gotta be you gotta be like um what's like a Wiltshire bless kind of question well you've been doing soon no fit down day that's the thing and then you're like gosh yes absolutely I don't know if it's bad to say but I barely interact with anyone outside of

if I'm going to let's say M&S or whatever coffee shop the amount of people between my house and there I basically interact with no one yeah because you're in a car no it's just like even when I'm walking around it's just like how often do you actually

randomly stop and interact with people I've been finding myself in shops interacting with people way more because I had a funny little moment where I was buying dinner buying a little pizza from from Tesco and me and this lady

were looking at the same pizza and then we were both like nah I don't want that pizza and then we both walked over to a different pizza and I went to grab the pizza as she did as well and it was like oh

funny little moment and then we had a little chat about pizzas we were like this pizza is quite a good deal so it wasn't like the last one left no no there were plenty of pizzas but we just had a little chuckle because it was like a human moment where we both sort of saw through

the Matrix and was like we both were first looking at this pizza but we decided on this pizza you know yeah totally not answering the question whatsoever but no I'd say that kind of answers the question

no it doesn't that's like transportation stories and I don't have any because I'm scared to take taxis yeah I'm trying to think of like a bad I would take public transport to school every day for a few years. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Because that's also like all the other secondary school hunters hopping on. And it's like clicky.

I remember like lots of times where the bus driver got like so frustrated. Like he'd pull over and just be like, stop because people would just be such assholes and like you're ding ding ding ding ding on the like bell and shit and like spilling food everywhere and drinks everywhere yeah yeah um that reminds me though when I used to take the bus to work

the bus stop I'd get off at was like in the middle of nowhere and the amount of times I'd press the stop button and they just keep going oh because they weren't used to that stop I guess yeah so I'd have to walk up to be like my stop was back there and they'd be like oh shit and then they just pull over like on the side it was on the big road to Wumpasset yeah yeah I know the word because it's stop and then it's downhill than uphill to run bus it so they just stop and I just have to walk up like the grassy side or on a national speed limit a bit of road and at night because I I'd finish at like half ten most days I'd have to stand on the side of the road there was no

lamp so I'd have to use my phone light if my phone was dead I just would risk not being able to get home the fuck I will say I do prefer in like London there's like two

different designs of like the underground trains there's like the open one where like the whole inside and you can see all the way through yeah all the way through so you can change carriage and shit if there's like weird weirdness happening

whereas the other ones are a bit more kind of boxed in you're more kind of trapped so I prefer the open design and you can kind of escape any unwanted public interactions which is

to be fair it's more likely in London but most of the interactions I've had with strangers in London have just been fine just asking for direction I'm asked like for directions all the time

when I'm in London some reason. I don't know where the fireroom... You fit in asphetically with London, that's why. You look like a Londoner. Stick em up has one for you, James. One that's going to make you stick them up. What did James really do to that nursery trampoline you got Alex for Christmas?

Do we want to break this? Do we want to tell the jarlings the truth and possibly ruin the future? Because everything's going to be alive once I tell them the truth. So, that they actually want... I'm going to let you decide. No, I'm not. I'm fine either way. I'm not. I'm not going to tell them. Jim? Uh, James sold it on eBay.

No, I just returned it to Amazon. Because we gave in. It's like, we went, I, we went, I think it was on my birthday or whatever. We were here. And I was just like, are you just like, do you just return it? So I was just like, okay, whatever. Take it there that they were turned it to Amazon. Boom. Damn.

It's all a lie. The cringmases have all been scripted. I'm sorry, none of its will. Sorry, this is the cost of truth. I'll tell you the cost of truth. I'll see, Reddit user, my balls are richy. Alex, as the happy sploshes, of the podcast, I was wondering if you perhaps have any memorable pool experiences, good, bad, etc.

If I recall, you said you used to go every week before COVID. If the other boys have stories, I'd like to hear from them too. Also, have you guys ever been to water parks or places like center parks? As a kid, I remember center park ads being on the TV, which all had the same format of driving car, arrive, go into hotel room, do some random bullshit in the woods like zip lining, cuts of swimming pools and deck chairs, cuts a fire lit dinner or some shit. They've never even been to centre parks, nor have I seen one. Making me wonder, are these places even real?

Or do they just exist at its locations to test things like iPhone camera advertisements? Did they refer to as a Splosher? They call me a Happy Splasher. Okay. Why did you say Splosher? I misread it as Splosher. Okay, good, because Splosh is an actual thing, and we don't want to go into that. Oh, is that like a goonth type thing?

It's on that same level, maybe. Because I don't know what sploshing means in that context. I only know the innocent splash. Let's not go there. Let's just not go into the splashing hole. I assume Happy Splashier is referencing Happy Slapper. Imagine it's referencing Happy Feet. Maybe all three.

Oh yeah, Centre Parks is an actual thing. It's like advertised... Have you been? I've been to the Centre Parks when I was a kid. Because my parents fell for that British Kind of book Have you ever been to Batlins? No, I've not been to Batlins.

Have you been to Butlin's? No. What is Butlin's actually seems like hell? It's just like a beach resort where they have. It's like, you know, the rejects and like Britain's got talent. They all end up. but it's like a really bad hotel resort okay so imagine like a hotel and a resort in meyorka you know like sunny it's you're getting all the lovely you know holidayness and then imagine

that in england where it's raining and all you've got for entertainment is x-factor rejects where in the country is it all over oh there's they're everywhere yeah yeah oh it's not just one no it's like a chain of crap resorts on no a good analogy would be that it's the Greggs of resorts. Yeah. No, it's where the Greggs people go on holiday. Yeah. Okay, that's a good way of putting it, I suppose.

Yeah, I never went to Centre Parks, but I do remember those adverts. Yeah. Still get them. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm... Because our, our mum is very opinionated on things, and she... I think she... Imagine what she's going to say.

she's always sort of seen us as a family that's like always above that sort of thing so we end up staying in like just some horrendous caravan out in a field in wales we're above butlins like a clean hotel or the hotel in london we stayed in that time yeah we're just like wires sticking on the wall in like spikes everywhere and we're above butlins we shan't ever go to butlins No, because your mum is that. I can imagine what she'd say about Bucklands. Like, you might not know.

I can hear it perfectly. Yeah. But I went to Centre Parks and as a kid, yeah, it's not that bad. You're widely on your bicycle all around. You go into the caffeine, you're eating donuts. And like nature and being in the woods is a big part of it. I reckon Centre Parks is probably like a decent place for a family to go on holiday. It's definitely better than Bucklands.

Yeah, and there's like activities. and stuff like you don't have to worry about that as a family to to chat shit against my mum i don't think you should look down on people for wanting an easy holiday yeah especially if kids are involved you want that shit to be as simple and easy you want stuff entertainment them yeah so you can chill out yeah like it's a holiday for the whole family not just because the kids don't want to sit in a room and listen to some music and maybe kids don't want to sit in a terrifying caravan in a field in Wales full of spiders and like a damn but we got that picture of floss from there yeah yeah it was worth it that's how it comes from

and um god that no one does you do so fucking depressed for that like weird like 60s 50s like yeah and like sofa it looks like an image from like 60s no 1910 20. Yeah. It's been coloured. Yeah. Horrendous. Horendous.

So, yeah, if you have kids and you want to go on holiday, yeah, go wherever the fuck you want. It's cheap. Taking your kids aboard is like a big thing. It's like such an expensive and passports. And then if you're going to board, you need something to entertain them.

So it's like, it was normal as all. It's not going to do it. But, but, yeah, because kids aren't going to want to, like, walk around and look at cathedrals and shit.

You know? go to drinking you know yeah so yeah yeah yeah if your parents want to take you in a caravan or butlins say butlins yeah so mum please no no that that caravan is legit why I'm phobic of spiders do you think so yeah really that bad yeah because that was I was no do you remember that because yeah the caravan had two bedrooms And, like, the beds for, like, the, the room we were supposed to sleep in, I was like, no. And slept out in the main area thing. Yeah, that's where I ended up sleeping as well.

But he was just a caravan? Because my parents have a caravan, and what you were saying does not match the... It was a caravan, but, like, from the 70s, probably. They're tiny, caravans aren't big. There's no bedroom. Yeah. Yeah, it was huge. Yeah.

Well, not... I wouldn't say. huge, but it was like one that you imagine like a four by four telling. Yeah, well when I say room, like these are tiny rooms. Like tiny. Yeah, very small rooms. Because my parents'

caravan has one room on one end and that's a double bed in the west is just like kitchen lounge mixed into one. Yeah, there was no kitchen. There was no kitchen. There was a two bedrooms and a lounge. Yeah. Yeah, it's where I first saw the shiny. No, no, that was the static

caravan. That one wasn't scary. That one... Yeah, that one was fine. That one had a kitchen and shit, and that one was fine. But the one I'm thinking of with that picture was just horrendous.

It was actually quite a good way to first watch The Shining, in like a scary caravan in Wales. Yeah, in the middle of Wales, just like... Totally. In the dead of night when everyone else is asleep, yeah. What was the question there? It was actually asking me about swimming. Swimming, yeah.

Um... Yeah, nothing too crazy, to be honest. You haven't swam recently, have you? No, not for a while. I haven't gone to a swimming pool. I used to like it there. I always liked going in the deep end when I was a kid and swimming down and touching the bottom

because you can feel like the water crushing your brain. Yeah, I used to like that, but as you get older, things like that are less appealing. Yeah, and just kind of scary. Yeah, yeah, like seeing how high you can jump on trampoline and stuff like that, suddenly there's a lot of scary. Oh no, that's the fun part It's also exhausting

Yeah, you go a lot higher when you weigh Yeah What I weigh compared to what I weigh When I was like 10 or whatever See, I My answer to that A simple question of I can't swim I'll see this after then

Yeah, I can't It's like I go to a beach and it's like I don't go in because I'm just scared So I'll just be like Boo. Will. The blimp fruit. How's this to say, hey, Jarl.

Alex, thank you for the shout-out, and it was great to meet you. I'm Will from TK. Max. When I spotted you, I was only 95% sure it was you. But when I saw you take a quick browse at the dog toys, for some reason that confirmed it 100% for me. I'm sure there were a couple things I wanted to ask you, but obviously at the time they escaped me. I actually met Jim and James and Rubin in Sainsbury's years ago.

Maybe 2016, 2017. they might remember that it was me and a friend of mine who still listens to Joe I remember I remember you guys tell me about that because I wasn't there for some reason because I was just like, talky I think I had food gums in my hand at the time like specifically

food gums yeah yeah yeah I remember that yeah I think that was the first time I was ever recognized by anyone because he just said pussy diarrhea or something as we walked past

yeah well pussy die while quince or whatever fuck And it was like in Sanis in Kahn and it was like, what? Fuck? He had a question for us but that also got me thinking

maybe there should be like a tally we have going for when someone recognizes us that we can have so there's like a building thing going on let me explain normal or curry

what we ask them yeah whatever they say we add to the tally what if they don't know get the to then oh yeah it doesn't count

that would be really awkward though like kow your thing and they're just like not deep enough in jar lord no that's like well then

then you just say well then we just turn around and walk yeah we actually we kill them you say fucking yeah yeah in a way

it's so like yeah it's like a test it's a trial of comment yeah really make it intense

witch which Go on then, which Okay, no That sounds good So yeah If you see us like in the distance Just shout

Normal And then we'll add it to the tally Yeah If we're like driving past Just shout normal Yeah See I No, I've never been spotted

By myself You have I have not by myself In London Yeah That's with us No but you were targeted Yeah

That's because you won away but other than that so not in our regent only in London must to be expected though I was surprised being in TK Max

because normally you're safe in there was Will quite a scary guy yeah he really went for me Alex just saw him and just went

oh dog toys if I go to dog toys I go to dog toys because I don't think I've ever in calm because that's the first time in Chippenham

that's where TK Max is literally if that TK Max, any point on the weekend, you're guaranteed probably to see one of us there. Yeah, basically. 100%. I'm there every weekend. He did actually have a question for us. Do you think you'd get the brain chip when it's just the norm and everyone has it?

Yes. This chip does all sci-fi things like recording your memory so you can watch them later, accessing the internet, etc. Okay, no, I would say yes for one reason, and it's a karnioloic. I would say yes because if by the point it's a social norm I think that is too powerful it's easy to like say now

when it's not a social norm yeah I'll do the thing that's not the social norm easy you know but it will be the social norm yeah exactly that's what I'm saying so in this instance right I'd probably be like well go on then

yeah I would I don't know how to feel about memories being like recorded though well yeah sure that's actually That would be a thing, though. But could you delete memories? Oh, that, oh. Yeah.

This is that black mirror episode, man. It's like, you know how your phone gives you, like, pops up saying four years of day? You get that, but it's a moment of, like, abuse or something called trauma-thlasic, and it's just like, no, no, because if it was like, I say, it's like, Apple branded. It would be like, we've, we've, we've tailor made the algorithm to show you your best days, this kind of shit. Yeah, because it would, I know when you're, like, the trauma algorithm will, like, yeah, filter out anything bad. no but that surely that could really like change people yeah it could change your whole personality if if you're just like oh i i don't like that memory of this significant thing that happened to me if i just delete it then it can't affect me right it can't change who

i am we'd be a we'd be it would just be people walking around that in their minds have never made mistakes. Yeah, everyone would be a fucked up celebrity. Yeah. No, I'm not having the brain chip. I'm pure, I'm a pure. Imagine if you deleted every cringy memory. You would be cringe.

You would then have to be cringe again to learn to not be. That's what I mean. You'd have no growth. And if you do have growth, you're reliving your growth constantly because you unconsciously will wipe the cringy memory. There's too much control. Yeah. We need our brains to hold on to crim.

Humans need to be flawed. We need to fuck up. We need to be able to fuck up. Yeah. Yeah. That's what Star Wars episode... Don't say. Nine taught me.

Okay. Eight. Oh, shit. Let's end on this one from The Uncanny Broker. Kind of bringing everything full circle. Comment on the just released news that Jason M.O. Will lead the Minecraft movie. yes

speaking of video game movies and all this Jason Mamawa yes it depends how topless he's going to be in the Minecraft movie his voice will be quite topless I'm sure oh wait is it animated it's fucking Minecraft

it's not gonna be live in the fuck sake I know it's just well I hope they do it live action for our sake just to see him CG just like square them out yeah square Jason Mammaa

that's fantastic news um yeah i wasn't sold on it until i heard it was jason mow and now i'm in yeah um the warkling used to be in he needs to be a little side cat maybe he needs to be like a little pig yeah yeah and then yeah have a pig and the chicken comes over and that's kevin heart voice little came yeah and then you can have like maybe you can have dream you can have dream you can have dream in there as well oh yeah definitely if you don't have dream stuff going on you've already missed a beat you've already fucked it yeah Sky does Minecraft

Well, maybe not anymore Okay, maybe not Yeah, I think he's safe He was in Fregear, wasn't it? Yeah, he wasn't, yeah The west of the Mount safe though None of them are safe What about Sat Jephtze?

Lion Maker? No Dream isn't safe either though It's funny that you have to kind of filter the Minecraft issues you're like fucking abuse You said fucking Skyder's Minecraft.

He's been cancelled now. Yeah, there's a none. Dream is gone. There's Dan the Diamond Minecraft and that's it. He's the one. The Diamond Minecraft. The Diamond Minecraft. Who's that guy?

He does, like, he was notorious for doing all those like... Covers. No, no, no, no. Oh, there was... The Jemistrily covers. There was him. Yeah, Captain Sparkle's. He's fine, but no, I was thinking of...

I think he's called, like, futuristic hub. He did all the, like, Minecraft sex. Yeah. Shit. He should be in it. Yeah, that's who I was trying Yeah, he should definitely be on it He should animate it

He should animate it He is probably like The type of animated Illumination would hire Is there Is there a game or series That has more of its content Creators, cancelled for abuse

and sexual allegations than Minecraft No, but surely it's also just like a quantity thing What game has more? More challenge? channels associated it to it than Minecraft oh there must be

something like that Fortnite yeah I'm thinking Fortnite but then I don't know Cooler G's Minecraft's had years on Fortnite

I wouldn't say Cooler Duty because it's just too vast it's too much but that's a record that is quite impressive

yeah impressive like it's in like wow that's like insane yeah fucked up yeah

fucked up Well, on that note I'll see on the next one Yep, bye Paisley's so cringy when you can This is from the back Oh yeah, really cringy Hello

Hello Hey hey Hey hey Bye Thank you.