JAR Media Posdact - Pawny Ain't Gone YET - JARCAST Episode 177

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Jarkast, episode 177. I'm your host of this episode, Alex, joined by the illustrious Jamie Beltman. I ain't no illustrator. And, of course, he drifts. He rides solo. God, he goes fast. James.

The Sonic of the cast. Good afternoon. How are you all doing today? Very warm. A little bit roasty, toasty. So here's what's happening at the moment in the UK. Hyper heat. Heat hyper is gone crazy.

And of course everyone on Twitter be like, you don't even know what real heat is even like. You can't even comprehend it. Well, you know what? We're not used to it like you. We don't have air conditioning. We have stupid fans. Also, the humidity is,

of such that the temperature feels far more increasable than it would perhaps be if there were to be humidity of a lower degree. Right, right. A lower percentile. It's horribly hot, you can't sleep, and the heat doesn't just disappear because our houses are built to keep heat in. It's just a sticky mess all night. All day.

It's not a good time. Sticky mess, all night, all day. All time. Sometimes. Anyway, yeah. This is the podcast where we just talk about some things. I don't even know what a genre we are. We're a...

Bit of this, bit of that. We're a free cast. Ah, no, what was... I know what we're supposed to be in an ideal world is a sex toy podcast. Everyone knows this. Yeah, finally. Yep. And if people remember a few weeks, months ago now,

um we asked the fans to get our favorite company assist in our campaign in our campaign um towards getting fleshlight as a as a sponsor or at least for them to send us something so we could officially say that the jarcast has been sponsored by fleshlight however we've we've come across um an impasse as it were we we got the jarlings to get attention from fleshlight they sent us an email and i was like here's my draw I was hyped They said they were gonna send us It's been weeks and this is

It's honestly unacceptable They it's unacceptable No no Do you know what it is? Cannibalism No It's clear to me now That um

Like Doc Ock Listen to me now Yeah Um The Jarlings didn't fight hard enough Yeah so okay let's go into round two ding ding we need to

rebuild and get them to reply yeah so tweet at fleshlight but deliver what they said they were what's the message for them though on on Twitter tweet at fleshlight at jar media

yeah tag us as well yeah tag us but just fleshlight fleshlight fleshlight jar media jar media jar media where are you Yeah, fleshlight, fleshlight, flashlight, jar media, jar media, jar media, where are you?

Where are you? All capitals. Oh, you're going in now of the all caps. Yeah, because that changes it. They've seen the nice side. Now they're going to see the true side. But yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, yeah. All right.

Mission one, accepted. So it's a big disappointment that we've received nothing. and they haven't pulled through with what... I know, we're like, we are owed. We are owed, though, because you don't reply... Like, if they'd have ignored from the get-go, fine. We got an email from the official flashlight...

Guy. ...representative. And he said, what's your address? You're going to get some flashlights. So we're buzzing, obviously. In place of a sponsorship is what they said. Yeah. And they did not deliver us.

We want to do, like, a three-hour special reviewing flashlights. Yeah. are flashlights as good as they say? Yeah. And they didn't. They pulled out. They, the worst crime one can do in a situation such as this, they pulled out. Right.

I have a few topics, right? First one being, the word gobble. Oh, well, what? How do you feel about the word gobble? It's predatory Yeah, that's putting in there Yeah, that can't see it Any other way

What's like the worst sentence you can think of Where instead of the word Eat, you say gobble I'm going to gobble your pussy Oh my God I'm going to gobble your ass I'm going to gobble down your juicy meat That's kind of sexy day

I'm going to gobble down your juicy meat That's kind of sexy It just makes me think of that grapefruiting video. Yeah. Gobble, gauble. I've never used the word gobble, like properly. Put it in a sentence.

Say, I gobbled up some delicious KFC. Today, I went to KFC and gobbled up loat beans. I mean, it's the truth. Yeah, but it's just the strangest adjective. Hmm. I gobbled up a glass of wine. wine. I gobbled up a nice. No, because you don't gobble. I feel like gobble means to eat much faster than normal. Really? Yeah. So let's see what the actual definition is. No, like,

for example, you, you've just been to a restaurant and you're going to go to the club afterwards and you're running out of time. You gobble down some like, so you're, you say to your friends. You're right, Jim. Come on, let's gobble. Gobble means eat something hurriedly and noisily. There you go. Like, quickly. Like, Yeah, because as a group of lads that frequent the club Mm-hmm. You've become familiar

Yeah, with gobbling down your nandes. What you do is Do you never like... You can use it for things that aren't actually food, though. One of the other definitions are use a large amount of something very quickly. Like, these old houses just gobble up money. No, that looked right.

Who the hell would use it? Your car gobbles. up fuel. Yeah, it does. Yeah. But you wouldn't use that. Like, who actually uses it that way? And there's one other definition. Of a large

organization, incorporate or take over a smaller one. Yeah, gobble it up. This small department was gobbled up by the Ministry of Transport. Yeah, KFC gobbled up Burger King. No, but there's an actual business word for that, which isn't gobble. Guys, this is the meeting

to discuss gobbling Get a Doge me. Gobbling gobbled. No, you're like the CEO of fucking McDonald's. We need to gobble them out now. Here's our five-year gobble plan. Burger King. Gobble them.

KFC Gobble them. Nandoes, get them gobbled. You've been gobbled. Because that would always say goblin, gobble. Yeah, I don't know what that was in reference to, but it was gobbling, gobble. Like when you'd eat in something. Yeah, like gobble it up. Goblin Gobble.

No, it's a goblin that gobbled. I bet you, for anyone listening, the word gobble sounds so strange to them now. I don't think they've ever heard. I've never heard. The last time I heard that word was probably you guys, like a few years ago. Like, who the hell uses that word ever?

What made you? Because I told someone to to make sure they gobble up. lots of air. Right. To make sure they're breathing. Okay.

This is what our dad has done to me. He's giving me this strange vocabulary like calling things bumper as well. Bumper? Bumper. If something's good, it's bumper. That KFC was bumper. What?

How does that make any sense? It's just my dad-ism. Bumper. Yeah. Like a car bumper. Yes. Like bumper cars. Say that McDonald's breakfast was bumper.

That McDonald's breakfast was bumper. There you go. That makes no sense. Yeah, it does. It does. No, it really doesn't. That's such a... No, that's triggering you because it's a car word.

No, it's not. It's just a bumper. Yeah, it's kind of like a... I picture when I say it, bumper. Like, a bump going up. Like, it's a good thing. Bump. Uh.

How was that good? What? How does that definition make any sense to the word bumper? Ask my dad, man. We'll have to get him on. Get, no, call him. Should I actually? No, it's fucking...

It's 10, 10 p.m. Oh yeah, he might be asleep. Or at least getting ready to be. Anyway, that was just a little subject, though. I had a different one that I thought was kind of interesting that I thought of... Okay. When we went to London for Jim's birthday, and we stayed in a hotel in the same room together.

We did. Of course, I got to see everyone's toothbrushes. Right? So I've seen everyone in jars toothbrush now. And I've noticed so many people do that thing with their toothbrush, but they just don't replace it. So all of the strands of horse hair that you brush your teeth with are like just flinging off it all over the place.

Yeah, that ain't going to clean your teeth. Yeah. Like Ruben does the same thing When he lived here, I saw his and it was just like It's just fucked It wouldn't do anything And yours was the same Yours was the same yours

You brought an electric toothbrush that you hadn't charged And brush your knees with it With the like head that I have loads of spare ones If you want one Why didn't you tell me? Can we just talk about how weird of a moment that was We just followed each other into the bathroom And just started brushing our teeth in silence

In like sink as well No, we were silent for ages No, we were just doing it And then I was like, wait a minute, why are we all doing this right now at the same time? And we're all standing in the bathroom We're like, we weren't spread out or anything We're all like looking in the mirror

In a line It started with you We all just followed you Alex was just like Because I wanted to brush my teeth From all just like Just got up Just the drones

I group think to you all into brushing your teeth at the same time You left Basically I sat on the toilet And then literally just threw up all of the toothpaste all over the floor What? What, me? No, I did. James did.

No? What? When you heard your little meltdown? Yeah, I literally sat on the toilet, brushed my teeth, and just like, expelled all of the two, like, wool-toothed toothpaste mess on the floor. And Alex's a scream laugh, ran out of the whim scream laughing. I don't remember this at all. Do you not remember it? What?

James spitting on the floor. I don't, no, I don't remember that because I was in the bath washing my feet. No, this was, like, you were in the bath. Oh, no, I do remember that. You dribbled out like a big dribble, gobbles worth of toothpaste. Yeah, on the floor. Yeah. That's why you need dogs around.

That was such a weird night, though. It was a good night. But anyway, yeah. But, no, let's address the topic at hand. Change your toothbrush. I don't, I, I literally asked my pounds. See, I, I, I, when I saw Ruben, one i was like dude your toothbrush is like

fuck it's like it needs to be this way otherwise it like hurts my gums it's supposed to it's a toothbrush it's not supposed to brush your teeth enough like with a good toothbrush that it doesn't hurt yeah it's cool

like I'm super oral oral hyped intensely like I'm obsessed with it now my toothbrush is a bit fucked I've asked for new heads No, but do you guys floss? No.

Do you genuinely floss? Do I floss? Um, no. So glad you didn't. But, listen, when you go to the dentist and the dentist says... Yeah, you're all right. All you need to do is floss. It's normally what you get.

No, that's not what I got. Oh, really? Let me tell you what you said. He was looking down my gob and he said, wow, you've got an incredibly healthy mouth. Just keep doing whatever you're doing. Nice. He said that to me and I was like, I got these wisdom teeth coming in and he was like, it doesn't matter.

Your mouth is perfect. I'm jealous. I wish I could have your mouth. That's what you were saying. I mean, most, yeah. Like when a dentist of all people says that to you. It's like, it's the highest compliment, like humanly possible. Yeah.

He wanted my mouth. You know, I didn't go to the dentist for like two, three years until like a few months ago. Because I thought I was all right, like I was having no issues, and it eventually got to a point where I was like, okay, I'm just getting paranoid now, just on the off chance. So I booked an appointment and went in. And, yeah, it was fine. So it's bullshit, basically. I've, um... As long as you know, as long as you're doing it right, you're going to be fine.

No, brush your teeth for just over two minutes. Not too long, because then you're... Twice a day. Then you're scraping off all the plaque. Or not the plaque, the good bit. The enamel. Yeah. I don't fucking know.

It doesn't matter. As long as you're doing it right, then that's fine. But don't do it for not long enough. Don't do it for too long. Do it. Yep. Do it right. Tell me what, at what point of like the...

Get good coverage, you want to brush the gums. The bit that comes out in the sink, what, how do you know when it's the good bit? What the fuck are you talking about? How often do you spit when you brush your teeth? I hold it until the very end. Yeah. Same.

But then when you get rid of it at the end, what color is it? for you. White? Yeah, like toothpaste color. No. What the fuck color is it then? It's like the color from the teeth. My teeth is so much better now than the previous blimp, but it's like, when I've brushed well and well, it's like, you know, the tooth face, like, foam. It's just not pure white. It's like... I guess it depends on the toothpaste as well, but... I have super whitening toothpaste. Mouthwash? You going for the mouthwash?

No. I use that. as well now I just don't have any pretty much I should buy some overpriced product very much so but it's got alcohol on it so my teeth have been pretty sure it does sting yeah it does sting my teeth have been better and cleaner than they've ever been at the moment and I haven't been to dentists in my three years two years do you use your toothbrush on your ears as well yes Alex behind the ears yeah inside no dangerous

yeah anything else on the toothbrush discussion or no no just give me new head I've got I've got very healthy mouth don't worry what I've got a very healthy mouth okay just brag then and make me feel bad okay we're moving on then ooh um do you guys floss

oh thought not ooh do you guys use the mouth wash ooh thought not I need to shout out a jarling. It was done something wicked. User James House. Use a James House.

Not our James House, another one. They got up on stage to play guitar. That was James House? Yeah. They got up on stage to play guitar wearing the Aggie the Bebo T-shirt.

Oh, I saw this. Yeah. What a beast. Which of course you can buy on linked below yeah I forgot to shout out the patrons as well that's how long it's been since I've hosted I'm all off on all the rigmarata I hold you to such a high standard that I just

thought you had done it yeah I didn't even click no I've let us all down but you know you know you're out there we we mess up now and again but we we mess up now and again yeah but yeah we have a Patreon for the audio of my game unlike Alex excuse me don't just want to say that to my face

do you I'm on top of my game I'm like Alex edgy okay okay calm down there's something we need to talk about that it was in the YouTube sphere wait can we just say this James House guy

he said that he also covered a a Jack White song maybe a white song shout out shout out to me good fashion sense good music sense good everything sense talented that's what a job being a JAR fans all about yeah if you don't play guitar

and you're a jar fan, you might as well fuck off right now, bitch. Just a joke. Anyway, something happened in the YouTube sort of sphere that I hope you guys know about anyway. Did Tana Mungu get... No, there's nothing about Tana Mingu. Alex, we just broke the ball.

What? You called a Mingu, like a Minga. And we know what we say about Mingers. You just did that. Don't think that... No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Why'd you call a Mingu then? Listen, we never really talk about the fucking Paul brothers.

but something happened recently that was so interesting to me that I wanted to bring up. Jake Paul's married, got like engaged to Tanamongu. Really? That's why I said Tanamongu. Oh. Well, no, what I'm referencing is

Logan Paul had this bizarre interview recently where he was so clearly on cocaine that he's just saying all this shit he's like so hyped up and like self-deprecating almost at points he says something along the lines of yeah this is the first month

I've spent more than I've earned or something and then he was like so this must mark the start of my downfall or something along those lines who was interviewing him I'm not sure

but it was a weird one is he the older one did the suicide video Logan's the oldest He looks way different than I remember him now because he's got like facial hair His hair wasn't as nuts You'd have to show me a picture

But yeah Like I normally don't give a shit about the Paul brothers But I just happen to watch this interview And the first thing that popped into my head was I would not be surprised if Within 10 years He's like O.Ds and dies or something.

Or something happens and he dies. He's been ruined by his, like, upbringing. He was, like... He was younger than me when he became famous, right? Was he, like, a Disney channel thing? One of those? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And then he moved on to his, like, cocaine, sex fucking cult.

That's right. Yeah, and randomly in the interview, he just says that he's got pink eye. I'm not joking. I'll see if I can find it, like the clip of it. So those listening can understand. Fuck me. Like, it's really sad to me. Yeah. What this does to people.

Fame ruins you, like, no matter how old you are there. I feel like, I feel like if you're young when you get famous, it's, like, more intense. Because you don't get that while your brain is developing, you're not, you're not socializing and living and a normal. way you're in such a hyped up like it's normally more drug-heavy and sexualized and yeah glamorous the it's no wonder so many people get completely messed up by it yeah see if i can find a clip for now okay but you know how these things work when upstarts come in and they i don't know what this video is about that's the truth if they did like i'm

I'm definitely going downhill from here. Did that make you nervous? That was it there. My expenses just surpassed. Oh, yeah, and he's got this weird body language and stuff. That's the truth. Listen. If they did as a businessman, and you have a payroll now, right?

You're the one signing the checks to pay your staff. I will say my expenses just surpassed my income for the first time ever. I just sat with my financial manager. He told me that. Like, I'm definitely going downhill from here. Did that make you nervous? Yeah, absolutely. I'm terrified.

I think it's the beginning of the end. He's so candid. It's bizarre God That's weird That's How can someone of that stature Ever start going downhill

Is he of the same stature Like I don't really hear about him anymore But all you ever heard was bad stuff Is it because he's not doing it anymore Yeah I mean Fuck knows All he has to do is like sell one of his fucking 20 houses And he should be fine

Or one t-shirt Put a new t-shirt Yeah boom. Walding. I mean, he still uploads like every other day and they get between three and

five minutes. When you live as irresponsibly as him? Yeah. Buying the most ridiculous house, buying a school bus and turning it into the fucking gangster bus or whatever the I suppose, yeah, if you grow up with like just money

all the time. Yeah. It's meaningless. If you don't set up like a good backbone or like portfolio of some kind. But, like, why do you need that, you know? But that's what his whole deal has been the whole time. It's, like, been showing off how rich and famous he is.

I don't understand why people want to see that, though. Because people want to see, like, the dream life. It's like the American dream, isn't it? It's, like, total success. You can buy anything you want. You do whatever you want. You've got, like, models around your house all the time. You're just, like, a party animal.

No, that's bullshit. Yeah, that life doesn't interest me one bit. But it does for a lot of people. No, but why would you want to see someone else doing that? It's the same reason... It's just going to fuel you. No, it's the same reason, like, keeping up with Kardashians. It's, like, so popular.

I would never watch that show. I have. I've watched many seasons of it. Really? Yes. End of. I remember a lot of moments from keeping up with the Kardashians, Alex. It's kind of...

I... I recently saw a few episodes of that show for the first time. Well, it depends what era, though. When I was in Athens, because it was like in the evening and wanted something to wind down. And, of course, didn't understand anything. It was in Greek, and it was the only thing in English. So put it on and it was like, it's trash.

But it was entertaining trash, to me anyway, from what I saw. Yeah, it's crazy, it's wild. What was going on? Tell me what was going on, I know what was. Um, Kim Kardashian had, uh, what's that skin condition, psoriasis. She was getting bad psoriasis in like her, all over her arms or legs or something. And she was trying all these different like things to cure it. And she, she got to a point where she paid for this like, seance to come in.

Like, read her energy and shit. And he was like, yeah, your, your levels are a bit low. you need to drink some pomegranate juice and then like Kanye comes in and he does it on Kanye this seance and the look on Kanye's face is so funny and why he's just stood there like he obviously knows it's bullshit

do you think she thinks is bullshit but it would make a good bit no because she's before when she introduces it she's like um I'm really spiritual so I thought I bring in a seance to see if he can help at this point I'm willing to try anything but how much of her on that show is real I mean, they've been doing it a long time

How does it not become exhausting when you don't have a life? Like your life is always on a camera and it's like So are our lives Look at us Yeah, in a way We're not like Flexing our crazy houses and stuff And one of the episodes was like

Kim Kardashian was like So Kanye has designed this awesome sink It was bespoke They just spent like 10 minutes describing this sink that Kanye designed for their bathroom No, that sounds pretty good, Kanye, come on Yeah, man Speaking of living life luxuriously Yeah

I met a monk Oh yeah And I went to bath on Tuesday Great place And it was extremely hot and my head got burnt Damn I met a monk What

Where was the monk Just walking the streets He was in this one spot By like a fucking W.H. Smith or some shit Right, right Near the um Like record shop

HMV Yeah yeah Um And I went I went there with my man Nice day out with the Mammy Yeah

And And uh We walk past him And he said to my mom Hi, I like your hat That's how they get you in I'm a I'm a Harry Krishna monk

We were just like Oh cool I'm just fucking walked off Yeah And then it was it was time to get the train home And I was like I kind of want to see that monk again

Like figure out his deal Yeah So we tracked him down Found the same guy Was he handing out leaflets or something He had two books Krishna books Handing them out

no he had they were only two books literally right one in each hand and um we were like hi he was like hello i'm a i'm a christna monk like yeah we saw you before he was like oh am i and my and he said if you follow the rules of krishna and do yoga you will experience Krishna Right And I said Well what does that mean To experience Krishna

And he said you can see him You can smell him You can hear him You can eat his ass And I was like oh But I was wondering Like what would it take for you to believe In a deity

Me? Yes Um Maybe if I like took mushrooms wait so if you took mushrooms and was and you were tripping and you saw something you'd be like well I guess I believe in whatever I just saw I don't know I was just joking with that answer but no I know but this is the thing if if you followed the Krishna guidelines and did yoga and saw this thing I'd be more likely to be like oh I'm crazy right I'm seeing things okay yeah I don't know

so skeptical see for me the appeal of religion is not the the literal text of it but usually the sort of family side of it a lot of it's very like charity family focused and that kind of thing I could see being like a positive but yeah I don't know about the actual deity bit yeah it was very strange he also said because we we he was saying about how evolution doesn't exist and all this like religious stuff talking about dinosaurs and he said yeah well um in in christina every animal has its age and we're in the age of the tarantula and at the end of every age this animal becomes giant so i guess uh dinosaurs were giant lizards or birds right so we're in the age of the tarantula so we're gonna we're

gonna have giant spiders like building size spiders according to this Krishna monk that's what he said yeah well we'll be back after these Krishna messages for some questions from the audience gosh that's crazy

yo how it is cuz dry media shirts go check them out description below cheers brough in it welcome welcome back to part two Of this here, JARCast, this is part of the show.

We answer questions from the fans over at the JAR Media Reddit. Head over there, and there is a suggestion thread at the top that you can leave whatever you like. We need you to ask you to ask us. I mean, we are extremely wise. We know everything. So, I mean, of course you'd want your question answered. Let's start off with the top upvoted question from To Lizard Wizard, who says, most overrated game you've played.

The most overrated game you've ever played That's a difficult question Mine might anger some people Uncharted 3 I was going to say Uncharted 2 Which I know is blasphemy Any uncharted game Uncharted 2 and 3 and 4

I feel like we've mentioned it before But I mean that is one of my answers to the question Another one would be gone home I got basically nothing out of that game Um Firewatch Really you'd say it's overrated what about it is at the end thing

it's like a fight you know you're having an intense fight with a boss and secure and then you're gonna get a really satisfying end but then it just it glitches in the corner right and then you kill it and it ends okay yeah just like that

not that it's challenging but like it has all these it's like so much intrigue with very little payoff J.J. Abrams yeah I don't know if like because it was a while ago I played it

but I never want to play it again because the gameplay is so un-interesting yeah James you got one no come on I don't because I just can't remember

any games or anything like that something that you were you've been told is like exceptional and then you try to play it and we just say this sucks or nah the same thing

for me. None. Yours is Red Dead 2 then. I'm afraid. I'm okay with that. Damn. No, I'd probably say G.C.A. 5. G.A. 5. That's interesting.

That's bullshit. That's one of those games that James played so much that he got fed up of it. I'd say a lot of Nintendo games are overrated as well. Like, I think Mario Odyssey is a really good game, but I don't think it's as high as it was rated. I don't think it's overrated. because the general consensus is the well yeah like what do you mean by overrated is it critical consensus or sort of audience consensus

no but the audience and critical consensus of uncharted is that they're all great right when they're not well not that they're not but I don't think they are they're just fine okay then Halo free really why I'd say the Gears of War series

as well no fuck off Gears of War series No, no, no. Halo is better than Gizor War without a doubt. No. Halo is better than Giz of War, but Giz of War is awesome. No, it's fine. No, you will stay white now.

You don't understand that... Gis of War I? Shit. All right. Shit. That was really good for the time. All right. Max Payne fucking 1 was better.

Gis of War 2. Very good. I think that game was very good. Gis War 3, dropped the ball. Gis War 4. Trash. Giz War 3 was the peak. Yeah.

Judgment was the crack. The multiplayer was so good in that game. It gives to... No, but it's so unapproachable. It's not. It's so approachable. No. No. No. No. No. No. But those games aren't known as being masterpieces.

What other games? Like, offer the gameplay gears a war with this like crazy shotgun up close and personal thing. That's so cool to me. Yeah, but that's not like all it should be. That's an accident. It's not meant to be just shotgun. No, like it, that developed over time. and now they've embraced it and like they can't it's part of the identity of the series you can't take it out otherwise people will be furious like have you seen like pros play that game it's insane the skill ceiling is mega high which isn't necessarily a problem but i just think the game like giz war three's campaign i never finished i thought it was boring that and that was me when i was younger and i was so uncritical of games like that's that's got to mean something that and giswar three's campaign i never finished i thought it was boring that but that was me when i was younger and i was so uncritical of games like that's that's got to mean something that and gis

or four i could barely make like two like a half i never finished i never started the geeseful campaign yeah it's trash geese three campaign jimmy schmits is a fucking letdown in that game gears three uh it's far too longer than it should be it's horrible i really like gears three is too long though gears two perfection it's got the best story it's perfection that game it's not perfection i probably would not like that game that much looking back like playing it now you know yeah I'm done nostalgia

well I but then there's halo so I there's nothing Halo 3 is just like nothing is so fucking horseshit you're in the minority for that one I know I am

okay but I'm just not a fan of on our subject of games Jeremy Doug has one for us who says what's your favourite life is strange quote I don't know

I've been playing I've been playing it off and on. I tried playing episode two the other day. I started episode. I got fairly far into it. But they insist on doing this thing where it's like,

get to a scene. And then before we can progress, you have to find five glass bottles. Yeah. In the episodes after that, they actually make fun of the fact that they did that. Really?

Because it's such a bad idea. The glass bottles are almost fucking stupid. I actually just closed it. No, it was made fun of. Like, it was a meme. because of how shit that episode is. And, like, is it Chloe? The one with, like, the blue hair?

Chloe, yeah. She is what makes the game. It's so funny. But she, like, gets her leg caught in a fucking train track in that episode. You got to save her from being ran over by a train. It's such fucking trash. I loved it. The soundtrack is great.

No, it's really not. No, it is. There's one song in here that's good that's done by the guy who did Red Dead One. But the line that I'm thinking of, is the one in the bathroom from the first episode. Yeah, I was thinking. Where she keeps just unnecessarily... Yeah, something about hella cash or something.

Yeah, something about hella cash. You got hella cash. No, there's one after that where he pulls the gun out. And she's at gunpoint and she's like, are you hella serious? It's fucking so bad. I love that game. Have you played it?

Yeah, I've done like the first two episodes. But then it goes into this weird, like... I'll drink. sequence bit that's really bad that's not episode fucking two no that's episode four I thought it was episode five might be episode five but why should games have episodes I don't get that because it's that type of game they're not games they're video games let's be will good game no Tyler on cheese what's a piece of media that you enjoyed but was so obscure that you couldn't discuss it with anyone you knew.

I've literally everything I've watched then. Not everything you've ever watched. I don't talk to... What's an example then? Like Japanese anime stuff? Is that, yeah? Go on, list one. Well, list a, list... what about your music as well? List to a jazz band. literally everything I like let's be will

what things are I don't understand the question late so obscure what's a piece of media that you enjoyed but was so obscure that you couldn't discuss it with anyone you knew everything I like nothing nothing yeah we tend to be able to like like say for example fucking lava island like the only reason like if not for you guys there's no way I'd ever discuss that with anyone no that's the thing like

Seciro is one for example it's not obscure but none of you guys are into it but I'll talk about it anyway because I really like it right yeah so there's there is nothing because even if you guys don't give a shit fuck you I'm gonna talk about it yeah the thing is I actually listen and I actually have

interest in it and like you guys when I talk about stuff I like you're just like that is whole shit that is all shit we engage with your car stuff that we just that goes way over our heads we engage with your chas the theory that a lot of the james stuff james says is just bullshit and we just believe it what bullshit no you're gonna have to like random car things no you're gonna have to give me examples because i'm like now this is insulting me i can't give you examples no give me an example because no he can't give examples because it's all bullshit

no you're making me sound unknowledgeable okay how about how do you know when you hear um you hear a car in the distance and you know exactly what brand the car is, how do you know? Because you just rattle off like a random car and then we're just like, yeah. That's pretty right. That's impressive. Yeah, when he could just be saying

any car. Okay, so you've got to realize in this area there's a lot of the same, similar type of, like, cars I like. And of those specific cars, they have very distinctive noises. Suboos, a completely different design of engines. They make a completely different noise.

And Hondas make a completely different noise as well. So when I hear them, I know it's them. It's the kind of thing, though, that we can't even corroborate. Yeah, we can't confirm more than I. Yeah, without us being experts as well. But you know, might. So just believe me. We don't know.

That's the whole point. I am. Because I can tell. Unless it's a loud Mazda, a loud blue Mazda. Just don't say the things I say is not true because they are. It's insults. Well, we have no way to know. for sure. So we just got to

take your word for it. But that's how cults begin. You should just take my word for it, because I'm not going to lie to you. It's a bit sad that I know car noises from a distance. Let's be will. That's not sad. No, it is sad. No, it's not. Little poop scoop. Sorry, little poop

soup. Asks, if you could change three things about the person sitting on your right, what would they be and why? So I got to do Jim. Jim's got to do James and James has got to do me. Uh, hello. Alex, you actually are there. Who wants to begin?

I've got to change three things about Alex. If you could change three things about me, what would they be and why? Okay, I'd... Is this about to get real? Go on, just go in. I change a sense of humour. Whoa! Really?

Yeah. I feel like that would just make me a completely different person, though. No, I can't... Or do you mean a specific type of jokes? that I like. Yes. Like what? Like what?

The argi thing. The big, the agi thing. But you love the Bebo shirt. No, I do. But I just, I can't stand you in the whole

argue voice and the whole argue joke. I can't. I can't fucking stand that. That's why I do it though. I know. That's what happens with the jar media memes is they stick as long as it annoys James. Yeah.

That's the rule. If it's something like you also love, then they tend to sort of face. after a while, but being able to annoy you is such a unique thing that I want to just cling on to that as much as I can. Okay, you got two more, two more. Two more things. Go on. Just fucking do it.

Do you know what I'm gonna say? No, I don't. Something about music, something about my car. What is it? Go on. You can't leave them waiting Begins with W and ends in D W Waterboard

You want to waterboard me? What? No WD You're going to have to say it Just say it. Just say it weed Really, you'd change it so I don't ever want to smoke weed Yeah, why? Because then I don't have to smell it Okay That's it.

Okay. One more. One more. Okay. I'll change. I changed the way you've decorated your house. I can't stand. I can't stand your view with furniture and things like that.

I think my living room's nice. No, it drives me insane. There's no color matching. You have... This is complete bullshit. No, it's not. Yeah, moving on. Yeah.

It's not. You have miss matching cutleroy? Nah, that's fucking out. Okay, that's yours. Alex? I'm fine with that. You want me to go first? Yeah.

Three things I would change about the person on my right I would change and why. Hmm. How far can we go? As far as need be. As surface level as possible? Nah, I went on your cutler way, so you just keep going, boy. Hmm I suppose if I could

Stop you puffing That would be one Hmm I respect that Of course Um Now I look bad Because I just made jokes by Alex's cutlery

Great thanks You didn't make me look shit What No I wouldn't change stuff You've got better life I just don't like your cutlery That's all I've basically said Nice

I would can you say like I want to see a barcode on the back of your head is that like a change okay that's number two and then I want the third one to put you on a set of drums

so you can be hitman playing the drums Agent 47 playing the drums no but that's not the question that is the fucking question no I look terrible you make me good at the drums yeah but unlike James I don't want to change Jim's personality at all

This is where you've made me look bad No, you see, this is where I've got to chime in Because I do have to change an aspect of James's personality No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you've made me look bad. What have I done? That's making Jim do something. That's not changing something about him. You're adding a towel.

It literally is changing something about him. Can I do you be mine then, so I can make you a better person? Okay, you do yours again then. If you've got something, just do it. Reveal it. I don't know. I didn't think. anything afterwards.

Okay, think of something while Jim does his ones then. For you. Oh, um, I would make James not a conservative. Good one. For starters. Fuck off, no.

No, your conservatism was exposed within your criticisms of Alex. That's why I said the shit. That's true, bro. No! This is why I said you made me bad. Within me doing this would change your changes of Alex,

which would change his changes of me. No, one thing I'd change of Alex is to get rid of his Um, the issue, Alex has with his hand when it's really summer. Oh, my, like, ex-ma. Oh, can't you get rid of my ex-men? I'd appreciate that one.

Yeah, that's what I changed. I thought you didn't get it as bad anymore. Yeah, but who knows what's around? Oh, could you fix my nose as well? Yeah, my, um, what's it called again? Deviated septum. Yeah, I changed that, I changed your hands. I'd fix James's deviated scrotum.

Um, um, and I'd, give James a flashlight so that's it that's how does that count you can't give what's already been given that's no it hasn't been given yet until fleshlight delivers that should fleshlights should change their thing on Twitter to be you know our motto we deliver um do you know often that

that line goes through my head I'll sit at work and I'll just be thinking you know our motto we deliver and I'll be repeating that in tune for hours. No, the thing is, this question is difficult because, like... No matter... Like, you don't really want to change anything about, like, your friends,

because... No. Even if you change the smallest thing, who knows what repercussions that has? You don't realize how key some certain things can be to someone's whole being. Yeah.

Like, I'd never want to change the things James likes or, you know, things he's into and stuff like that. Well, James would happily change... Although we did it. We did expose him as the fraud he is on the drive back today. How?

Jim, do you want to just explain? What, how James is fine with breaking the law as long as it fits in with... No, I was talking about the music you put on. Oh, yeah. No, we put on MacDemarco, told James it was from Red Dead, and then he said, oh, I like this. I knew it was Mike DeMarco, though, because I was like... You were dancing along, you fucking loved it. I have a theory about why you hate MacDermaco.

I think it's because you didn't find it. it first. Yeah, I think if you'd found it way before us. Yeah, no, it's the same thing. You won't play video games with us if all of us are higher levels in you. No. It's the same thing. No, it's not.

It's not. Not at all. Because I don't have the time to ever do that anymore. That's not true, dog. It's not, no, I knew that was Mike DeMarco. The one, the thing that you gave me a bad first impression of Mike DeMarco. How? Did I do? I just remember the first song I was listening to him.

I just didn't like that. It wasn't like something easy to get into. And to be honest, if you, my music... Did you like the song that I played in the car? I could... I would play that in my car. Like, just chilling for a long drive if I listened to it. That actually surprises me because you're very picky when it comes to driving music. No, but it's just like, I wouldn't drive it when I'm like...

Baked. What was the song you put on? The Red Dead one. It's not really. Um, Mild Man. Mild Man, yeah. Uh-oh, looks like... Great, great song.

I'm seeing more... Might be his best song. My old man in James. Because it's a banger, but it's also poignant. The lyrics, the lyric... His best song is my... I just don't think the first songs I listened to of Maddamako, I just didn't really enjoy all that much.

I haven't listened to him outside. You know, I feel like my favourite music is ones that I don't like at first. Really? Like, I... where you sort of go on an evolution with the song where every time you listen to it you get something more and more and more from it

I don't say the song I think that's just artists in general where you start getting more from them something that challenges you in some way yeah like when you do a poo and it just gets more and more intense I just had to my music tastes has changed so drastically recently that it's just like

I'm listening to stuff I never would have thought I'd listen to before so you stop listening to jazz no I still listen to jazz It's just, it's a specific mood music. It's like, I, I fucking hated 9-inch Niles. Like, we even had that dumb jacket, and I fucking hated it. I fucking love 9-inch Nels. God, he'd punch you in the eye, if you heard that.

No, I fucking hate that jacket. It's so fucking edgy. Oh, God. But I fucking love 9-inch N'Ols. Is that way you'd change it with Reuben, you'd get rid of his jacket? Yes. Sir Quintus. If you could have any fictional creature as a pet in real life,

what would you pick and why? Bagsie Porny from the new men in life? You haven't seen the movie yet, you can't say that. Um... Or that thing from Valerian that would, like, plop out a little... That's horse shit. It's just argue without fur. Any...

Any fictional creature as a pet. The thing from the labrion. The labyrinth? Which... Which thing? Oh, oh. Fizz gig. No, that's a dark crystal.

Yeah, no. The other, the thing, he's like a fox that rides it. Oh, that guy from the labyrinth. Yeah, he like rides a little thing. He's like a fox that rides a dog, a real dog. Does he ride a real dog? Yeah. Oh, I can't say a real dog then.

It's been a while since I've seen that movie. Fuck, I don't know. Come back to me. How about Frogsard? What the fuck is Frogsard? What the fuck is Frogsard? From, uh, adventure quest. You loved adventure quest.

What about you, James? Do you think I can answer this question? I'm not very creative. What? Did you just say? Holo? No. Why not?

I don't need anything in my own dog and I'm happy with him. That's not the fucking question. I know, I can't answer it. It's too difficult for my mind. What do you do with your dog? I play with him. what's my favorite thing mad max there's no like there's a dog in mad max but that's just a dog

no but that's a dog the car as an animal as like a living being no that's not the same okay uh what about like a creature from dark souls no they're all fucking horrible no an ant from lord of the rights yeah that's a good one that'd be pretty sick be handy what about james can have mater from cars It just drives around me Everywhere you go Is this spy mater Or

No, it's before cars too Okay Proper mater Would you mate mater? No I'd have a Would you put a fleshlight In his exhaust

I'd have an animal From Harry Potter No They're fucking real Peter Pettigrew From Harry Potter But permanently is a rat wait

what animal from Harry Potter you can't just get away with something like I don't know the giant snake from the second one basilisk the basilisk

I like snakes I want a snake do you never tell you I'd have a minion from this pick of a name oh Jim following our previous episodes you can't say that

oh my This that's the sound of a fleshlight on a car. Some maniac plugged the fleshlight into their car exhaust. If you want to see the video, just Google. Fleshlight and exhaust. It's just two words, fleshlight exhaust. And it's just like slings it. just another tom asks what happens during the break

um we all take a shit in the in the toilet right there yeah we're building up the shit challenge yeah we're doing the shit challenge so the shit challenge is wait no what it needs to be it can't just be called the shit challenge it needs to be the like no it is a shit challenge though no what's like a pile of shit court no but we can't do it for so long because if the poo mounts up so high you can't flush it and the songs can have to come here No, that's the aim of the game. That's the aim of the game, though.

Toilet is so much shit. But it, like, if you close the lid, it would nearly touch it. That's... No, but how do you sit down on the toilet? Like, everyone else's shit is touched. We need to explain this one out. We need to explain this first. So the shit challenge is we all, all four of us, shit in the same toilet without flushing,

and we don't wipe in that toilet. We wipe in a separate toilet. So this, this. toilet just gets filled with pure shit like to the brim that's the shit challenge it doesn't really prove anything yeah but who else has done it

that's gotta be a world record surely that you fucking call up a plumber and to be like my toilet's filled of fucking shit we can't flush it you don't have to get like so many bags and like pick it up like dog shit They'll come up, look into it and be like, no, and they just fucking lean. No, that would be a great video.

You secretly record him and see his reaction. You don't tell him, you just say that the toilet's blocked. And then he comes up and opens it and fuck, can you imagine? The fucking look of all! Did she just make the Token? I imagine him like, just vomit. vomiting immediately no but surely

on the shit of one of the weeks we'd have like Sammy so there'll be the liquid like diarrhea shit that's like filling it would be a

broth it would be a mix and match of a variation of it would be the most fucking rancid thing in the world

be like living in the fucking 17th century even they weren't as disgusting as that just keeping like a bucket of shit in your house no that is what they did

But when it got full, they would pour it out the window. Yeah, when it got full. We're going to keep it full. Nah, not when it got like full to the brim. Because it was stink. Yeah, that's what they did. And that's what we're going to do. They didn't give a shit about stink.

Their sewers were just the street. Yes, God, imagine the stench. Yeah, imagine the disease. That's why you want to actually answer the question. We normally do one of two things. What was the question? What do we do during the break? Yeah.

We either just instantly start recording again, or we use it to go do a wee-wee or get a drink. Do the shit challenge. Do the shit challenge, like update the shit challenge. You just do like a vlog series like shit challenge day one. Shit Dallas, week one. No, it's too fucked up. Upload into like Porn Hub though. Because YouTube wouldn't allow it.

No, but surely you want to just like get a porter like Lou in your guise. garden, do it there. So then it's not in your house, at least. Yeah, but it's not as funny. We'll have like a bucket in the garage. If you did it in the garden, the dogs would eat it. No, in the garage. Yeah, I know. That's why I was disputing James's. No, because if he's a porter one, porter, porterlo. Oh dear. Oh, dear. Drop us a quickie.

Nat figure says, are all the jar boys hyped to see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? That's Quentin Tarantino's new movie. You like Quentin, don't you, James? Yeah. Is that one interest to you? Yeah. I saw this article the other day that was like, it's time to really just put a stop on Quentin Tarantino and what he's doing.

His misogynist ways and all that. Good luck with that. Apparently he's making a Star Trek movie as well. What? Hey man, you fucker. Be me up, fucker. N-word. Alex said before this episode that he was going to say the M-word on the joke.

No, I didn't. You have done once. You were pleading. You're on your fucking knees. Praying to God for your M-word past. James, say it. Oh. Yeah.

I can't move my fingers. James, you can take us away here from Cipherati. James, fucking put your mouth to my and answer this question. This one is for James. Name your top five breads in order. The other boys can chime in as well if they would like to give their two cents. Breads, okay, you've got salt and pepper. Actually incredible, so that's the number five.

What? Are you running out of time, bro? You've got just plain white. You've got seeded white. Plain white sucks. Plain white does not. Plain white does not. Shut the fuck up, you yoke-crumbs.

Fick, taste great with butter, olive oil, butter, to be precise. Then you've got a number two. Tiger loaf. You've got five seconds. Tiger loaf, you know, good old-fashioned white bread with cheese. Nice. Okay, nice.

Okay, then you got brown bread. No, that's the time up. Okay. Sorry. That was okay. Your list was all right. Number one, fucking. bitch

well thanks for listening and supporting the show everybody over at Patreon and everything we'll see you on the next one thanks for listening thanks for watching bye wow

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