JAR Media Posdact - Randy RUINS Relaxation - JARCAST Episode 179

Episode Date: August 12, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening, or tomorrow, everybody. Welcome to the world of tomorrow. I'm a snake oil salesman from 1901. Beown. Joined by Landon Rickett. Beow. I don't know any others. Billy the Kid.

Billy the Kid. Thank you. Renton. The one who saved Tombstone. there's a movie about him Stay safe out their home dogs Randy Famously saved Tombstone The Time of Toonstone

There's a film about him as well I think Okay Yeah Well I've just got back from school And I've bought I've got Is it show and tell at home Yes it is show and tell at home

I've got show much a show But I can't So I have indeed brought a topic to this episode Wait before we get into that Let's just shout out The patrons over at patreon Oh yeah thank you guys as always

for helping keeping it real keeping it alive this 360 degree can is pretty wacky that's what it says introducing the 360 degree can it's a can I could dip my dick in that

you know you ever look at a coat can hole and you're like couldn't I can only put my finger in there this you could put your whole dick in that you could your dick could wear this on the end of it so I think

you know charm media doesn't approach drama but I think drama media need to take a stance on this now what

Ruben why are you wearing shoes inside the house I like to wear shoes inside the house yeah me too I'm wearing shoes I'm wearing shoes when I get home

I take my shoes when I'm at home in my relaxing Zen zone and if I'm in a house with a shoes off policy my shoes come off but this house this isn't a shoes off policy

house you need to implement Randy you need to implement a shoes off policy in your house why don't want to take these off look at them I'm flexing everybody with my expensive shoes because this is the house it's carpet you shouldn't be walking your shoes all over the carpet walking around in this house spreading fecal matter if they law pores that is a point I guarantee you Randy's feet are way dirtier than any of our shoes I've been saying this for years don't wear shoes don't wear socks for anyone that's not watching government things Randy's here he looks almost identical to Alex.

Well, they're identical to them. I should probably explain that. I mean, the way he chooses to dress and things like that. Oh, right. I'm looking after his house, looking after dogs or whatever. There are dogs, aren't they?

Yeah. I hope I'm feeding them enough. One of them looks really skinny. Dog abuse, maybe? Nah. Speaking of dog abuse. Quite two incidents of YouTube slash Twitch females.

There was one a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I thought a cat on the floor. Oh, it was a cat. Yeah, cat. So we're talking about bitches. then, right? Bitches get snitches, stitches. I think this

episode is better of the visual prompt. For any of you, I think you should just check, see Randy and then go back to listening. Well, yeah, because Alex is away at the moment. You've got Wandy? So I'm here with my bro. I don't see him very often.

Hmm. Let's stay on topic, anyway. Fuck off! I don't see him very often. Was that the prompt? Well, Randy's come a long way staying on topic animal abuse that's our first a nice funny one to start yeah i love starting on subject for this should we just grab the dogs and just to fucking use him as punching bags

let's just go in like let's be real so one crone so let's go for the first one that happened actually a little while ago now the the cat one she threw it over ahead yeah right real this back what are you talking about uh animal abuse but who threw a cat the twitch stream a girl i don't know some No, let's not give her the publicity, the, um, the, um, the, um, the, um, platform to gain more, um, more publicity from, um, our platform. Man, you really get passionate. I haven't seen you this passion. He's standing on the radio's platform right now. So, yeah, this is my platform. Basically, this dumb cunt. Rubin, have you ever thrown a cat? Have you ever thrown a cat over you heard? No.

I have, Randy? I have played. around of my cats or throwing them, I'm like lifting them up and stuff because that's what cats do. It's funny. Yeah. And they just be like coming back. I like picking Billy up and going like this. Spin time. That's spin time. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want my honest answer or do you want my safe work answer? Honest answer. Honest answer. Andy. Is this in, is shooting cats with a paintball gun count as animal abuse? Yeah. No. I don't do that then. next I mean that cat

will be fine though yeah the cat yeah the can be fine but do you know what Billy has jumped off of all sorts of shit all sorts of really really high things yeah the cat will be absolutely fine yeah the thing is

it doesn't make it okay no it doesn't make it okay and people should be like man don't do that because it does show a very nonchalant lack of care for one just beast that they have tamed but like let me and my dog just let them know that they've done it wrong cancelling this person nah that's a bit much cancel culture i think cancel culture is fucking

horrible we should cancel cancel culture yeah that's what pissed me off this is my new charity let's talk about the next one because then i have a point yeah same um next one is brookhute brookute some you do not give them no platform to stand on no one fucking do with this person was. No one knew. She's got like 300,000 subscribers, 10,000 followers, fucking nothing. Less than that. If anything, it's going to make her famous. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah, probably will. But she, what she did is a different level toward the cat. James become a robot again. Yeah, he's doing his robot voice. It's a completely different level of abuse. The first, it's very light, like, you shouldn't have done that. This one, though, she very, you can clearly see it. She fucking

hits her dog and pushes it. See, the thing of the thing the cat is the cat comes to her and then she responds by just lifting the cat over her head in the heat of battle I'm like well it's not cool but okay we've all made gamer mistakes I'm afraid with the dog she like seeks out because the dog comes her and then it goes and then she seeks out

to keep on at the dog also flinches as she raises her hand towards it which means it's been a recurring thing she is an animal abuser and the dog should be taken away from her because she used it she used the fact that it's a Doberman and it's quite like a big dog as a way to like

excuse her actions doesn't fucking care what dog it is you shouldn't be doing that to your dog see I don't know if she is an animal abuser yeah I think that's kind of unfair yeah the weird the really wide thing to just assume yeah the weird thing to me

is that she spat on it yeah that was like that I didn't see that in the video you can't see in the video it's in the video it's in a you can hear it it's fucking weird though like that's that's like pure anger fight mode, heat at the moment

and yeah, that's the... She was clearly very angry about it. Yeah, or about something else which is what she tried to say was the... Yeah. She shouldn't let her frustrations out on the animal. The thing is, everyone sees one person on a video do something wrong or one person who has, does videos do something wrong. I've never done anything wrong in my life, but you

have, you've done that one thing wrong right now, but I've never done wrong things ever. Yeah. No, but the thing about the video from memory, I only watched it once a couple days ago, but she like pushes the dog down, tells her but then it goes it keeps going like back to her back for more if she was truly an abuser and this was regularly happening i don't think that dog would continue going near her and stuff

it was a big it was a big dog yeah a fucking huge dog big chunky one i don't think calling her an animal abuser is wrong i think she just took it too far and i mean everybody has made mistakes i think that's how i look at it immediately forget about it when i see stuff like that i'm just okay okay because most of it's just bullshit the responses are so overblown yeah she clearly. Call the fucking police. Okay, 15 and old of an anime profile picture. Let's call the police. When you see like a video of some teenager

like launching a kitten into the sky or booting a dog or beating a cat. Or that guy who poured the scalding water into the cat. Yeah. That shit is like way, way far. Compared to someone dropping a cat over their head or thing is as well though. Taking it too far and telling their dog off. I think people are kind of desperate.

It's controversial. To shit on Like, YouTube women and Twitch women at the moment, very much. You're a woman, fuck off. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, I think there's like an overcritical nature that people seem to have, especially towards women. Twitch women especially. And I guess I can, I can understand some of why they might want to hate this, you know, people might want to hate on the Twitch women because it's like Twitch does seem to unfairly let them off for things.

You can drop an M-bomb if you're a Twitch thought, I think is like one of the things. What, the N-word? For real? supposedly. I mean, I don't know because I don't really care because I don't engage in it because I just don't care.

Go back to Permark to Path Traveler. This is my point, though. I have a great time. Okay, Randy. I reckon the majority of dog owners are abusers in some way. Hear me out. Don't jump on me, hear me out.

See how many fucking obese dogs you see on the streets? That's a form of abuse, I'm afraid. All these fucking awfully trained dogs that are violent, that are terrible, that are aggressive. in a weird way

that sort of abuse as well so why are you bringing it down just on this one lady so many dog owners just dog owners in general for the most part are shit's at it I would admit

I'm going to straight up say that the behaviour she sowed is normal for dog owners I swear there's a lot more people to do that on a regular basis I've never done that to guys that's the thing she accidentally uploaded it right

wasn't that the thing yeah it was another edited video she didn't accidentally uploaded think about all the shit that would be out there for all of us if everything we didn't want to see that would make us look bad was out there

everyone could have fucking hundreds of these moments but that's thinking once everyone had it no one would but yeah that's a good point actually syndrome wins again it stems back to this fact of humans they got it too fucking easy we care about the most dumb shit now

because we don't have to worry about staying alive we can just go to the fucking supermarket you can buy some fucking food it's single it's not in the chart We don't have to spend the whole day fucking, you know, eating bugs and shit, finding just some sustenance to stay alive. We're not like outlaws in the old West,

go and hunting. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Where their main focus is, where's my next whore house? Or something like that, you know? So now I say, right, I got my fucking 28 burgers from McDonald's. Randy's gone.

Did another voice, got distracted, and went back to Not Randy. What are you talking about, dog? Got 100 McDonald's in front of me. Dog. And what have I got to do? Nothing. Wait, how does this relate?

Okay. Listen, it's bringing it back around. No, it's not. I pull out my phone and I'm like, I'm fucking bored. Oh, I kind of like dogs a bit. This is like dramatic. That's it. Tweets coming out.

Tweets coming out. I'd say. Tweets firing up my little fingers right now. What she did is what a lot of dog owners do. A lot of people do it. People just snap. It's frustration. And people need to learn to not.

let their frustrations out of their dog. No point with Gaius, I've never done that because I've learned... Get out on the wall or something. Break your hand, fuck it. Also, just learn how to correct to your dog. Yeah. You don't smack it.

Just tap it, make a noise. Just shock it a bit. You know, maybe strangle it a bit. You know, pick out by its neck, shake it. Hold out by its tail, stuff like that. That's fair. Positive reinforcement. Not negative reinforcement.

Don't do what that fucking shitty-cunty dog whisperer says. He thinks the best way do dog is negative reinforcement, which is actually like smack your dog if it does something wrong. Well, it's not true. That is not true. Did you just say that about the dog whisperer? DeWy-A-M-A-Lan, I believe. Sees-A-Lan? Can't remember.

The dog whisperer, seize him a man. No, that's horseshit what you just said. If I keep on saying it, he might appear. You can summon him, I've heard. You've got to go to a mirror for that. No, the number one rule is to treat a dog like a dog and not like a tiny human. Yes. That's the number one rule. How do dogs correct each other? They snap at each other. They fight.

So you replicate that with doing what the dog whisperer does, take a couple fingers. And it works like a charm. Oh, you just fight them? No, that's how you get on balance off. I was around a puppy a few weeks ago. And I kept having to do that to it because he just wouldn't listen. Yeah, because puppies are cheeky. They don't know their place yet.

And I keep kept on to go like, and it just gets exhausting to a point where it's, uh, uh, until you just pick it up and launch it across the room. You just care like a new one, hope that the next one's nicer. That's not true. Punch it in the eyes, I'm gonna do that to a puppy, of course. Or even a dog, or any animal, really, I mean. Snails? Well, I've accidentally stepped on snails.

What about these big snails? Nah, fuck them. The African giant... The Madagascar snails. Snails think they're so much better than slugs because they got fucking clothes on. Because, yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. Yeah, but that's...

Wow, you guys starting to sound real, real racist. Slug mollusk, actually. Get it right. This is quite good. Hmm. Shout out to Hazy Days. The London Beer Factory. Session.

IPA. IPA. Don't buy it in London, though. It'll probably be six-pound-fifty. Yeah, for one can. And I don't mean there is a London Beer Factory. Like, if you search there, there might be lots of them, and I wouldn't want you to get confused.

James? Next cast. I'm not sitting here. Because I always look ridiculously huge, because I'm in the foreground. and I am bigger anyway. So, it just is ridiculous sitting here right here every time. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's like the hobby. I'm gone. I'm gone next week, so. Oh, okay. Sorry about that. I guess his twin brother can sit here. He's good one. Can we talk about Alex from here? Apparently the dog whisper hung a husky up,

like noose and it's had like long-term trauma because of it. And he went, it was a court case. Okay. So can we talk about, Alex for a minute. Now we've outed season Milan. Canceled Caesar Milan. We did what we said we weren't going to do. Anyway, what about Alex?

I need to talk about Alex for a minute. How I don't know how I was to put it, but he's gay. I've always been scared that my twin boy was gay. And okay. That's not very nice.

Why are you afraid of it? You're attacking my beliefs then? oh having a challenging cast today boys I thought someone better challenge Alex's parody character today just in case we were all cancelled for being like joking about homosexuality and coming out and family members not approving of it so I thought I should challenge Alex's his parody opinion so that we don't what's this parody opinion that's why I actually believe

anyone what do you believe what do you lay your belief sound what you believe in right now say I believe and then I believe in fascist government I want to be oppressed and that's pretty much it you were just saying how shoes are a government construct and now you're saying you believe in it in a don't fucking do that you fucking inbred piece of shit I accidentally said a government constructed device as opposed to a social construction

well the government doesn't necessarily construct society necessarily that's what I'm saying that's why it's different yeah it's different I study one of the ologies I've studied a one of the ologies I know what shit sociology oh is it for me someone's on the phone

to my bro um so I thought we hadn't, we hadn't. Ooh, you think no time will be better. We haven't done one of our, what have we been listening to, watching, playing things for a little while. I thought about that, because I've been listening to

and playing some things specifically. And I have watched some things. I've done all three in the last week or two. So I am, I'm ready to go. I want to know what I've watched? You already know, because I would have put it in the group chat. I watched every Twilight film in the span of three days. I started one of them before I went on holiday.

Then when I got back, I finished the first one and then watched all the others, like, straight after it over the course of a few nights. And it was a fucking exhausting experience. Yeah, I bet. Those films are so bad. The first one is the best one. Because you can tell that. That's the best one?

Yeah. That's the only one I've seen. Even though there's some, like, cringe, cliche shit, it's only a one and a half star out of five. Okay, that's what I gave it. And a lot of that, I was sort of based on the fact that I just like Robert Pattinson, like, in retrospect, you know, Of course, I had not, I'd watched him in good films before I'd watched him in Twilight, but still, in retrospect for his career. And you can tell that the director, who they fired after that, it was a female director, she kind of cared about it. You can tell her, she was trying to do this a little bit, trying to make it a bit stylized, a bit, because it was a bit indie movie, and they were trying the best with it, but it is, and it isn't indie movie.

It's a very strange, like a high-budget indie project. I like the way they run It does That looks lame and terrible But in that one They hadn't expanded on anything So it hadn't gotten ridiculous yet It was still just like

Vampires World was very basic And then as it goes on Everyone's a superhero Everyone's an anime character On everyone is an anime character Babies start getting imprinted Baby's not getting imprinted on By Taylor Lawner

That's a terrifying experience Yeah So I just I just they were fucking exhausted but no one else has seen them but I would recommend it because

I've seen them they are very funny because dialogue is appalling but it's also very wearing sometimes if you watch them all like I did you are just totally exhausted because you're just angry at it right because everyone in it's a cunt

every character sucks and is embarrassing that was all I've watched some movies recently yeah quite a few actually hopefully better than what I watched definitely better than what you watch you'd have to go a long way to find

movies that are worse um i watched both killbills yeah oh really i haven't watched those in ages how were they fucking awesome which one's good in your opinion or can you not do that it's really difficult some people consider them one movie yeah they are very like the credits of the second one like credits people from the first movie that aren't even in the second movie it's very bizarre but god damn I actually gave them both five stars

on letterboxed I've not watched them in all the time so I was just like blown away there's there ain't nothing

like a good Quentin Tarantino movie he's got his own he's got such a style and there's nothing that I'd really change about

you want to enroll on my course this time do you want to start on film I don't own a pulp fiction poster, so I don't think I'll be let in.

What bad Quentin Tarantino movies are? There's like one. Deathproof. Yeah, that's it. It's like, just Quentin Tarantino movies. And you should like that one. I would like the one. It's the most interesting Quentin Tarantino movie. The thing is, it is like, ooh, Normie alert to say he's really good.

But he is good. But the... I'm afraid. Why is everyone think this? Because he's really good. We're not allowed to admit that we like anything. No, but because it's that thing where I'm... I'm an individual, because I think good things are shit it's the rick and morty effect yeah like rick and morty's good yeah but now everyone thinks it's cringe because of the reaction to yeah this 360 degree can is actually great i don't have to think about like which side of the can i'm doing so i'm with this this is good it's a million

buck idea right there yeah there's two more movies i want to mention okay go on go on then um i watched american psycho for the first time no i saw that someone i saw someone had rated it didn't say you had it just said popular with friends so i checked those like someone's rated I thought it was very good You don't think it's as good as I think Because I give it a five I'm the only person I know that thinks it's a five-star film I do just I love Christian Bale

Like that's basically it Star Power What is up with his voice in that movie though He's I had an impression of him for a while in that movie But I can't do it anymore I'd have to come back with it next cast I don't know if you asked me to practice

I could do it I don't know if it's like intentional But it It feels like one of those accents that's like oh that's an english person doing an american accent it's but then again everyone in the movie talks like that he's doing the smarmy upper class yeah they're all like bland people that are the same because and it's a bit like a madman thing to it where they're like yeah yeah about everything but much more like what does d'art dorsia what's the name of the fucking restaurant

they all want to go to um dulce at decorumest i think yeah fuck it um but yeah i thought it was really good something about it I think on an emotional level it didn't do anything and I mean I don't think it's really meant to I think maybe that's like it's more like a shallow he is

yeah it's like a commentary that's why I kind of enjoy that because it's yeah I know it's not the most in depth commentary you could probably say it's quite surface level but I still enjoy how fucking stylish

they make it the whole way yeah no it is a very good film but I also watch Snatch for the first time that's really good as well which I also rated a four star which I gave American Psycho Snatch is awesome

Yeah Very fun Jason Jason Stapfam's in it isn't he Yeah Really? He's really good in it Yeah He's a totally different

Jason Staple He's not acting He's just like Being a bunch of fights No he's just like I fucking hate Everything That's it

That's his character My only trouble With the movie Is actually that And that like There's like Four characters in the movie Whose personalities

are just interchangeable where they're just they just like make fun of other people funny London gangster yeah yeah yeah and there's two in particular I don't remember their names they're like no I wouldn't the two black guys oh are they really are they really fat or something no one of one of them's really fat he's he's got a good personality because it's completely different but um the like two main black dudes

I don't remember anymore their personality is basically identical fun fact about it you know obviously I think everyone knows one about Brad Pitt he was like yeah he can't he couldn't do the accent so they just wrote his dialogue to be unintelligible they just said just just do this because yeah yeah I remember hearing that before I even watch the movie and it makes it funnier to watch yeah and in in the plot like nobody knows what they're saying anyway and that's the point I think if you've liked snatch you should watch uh lock stock Tuesday yeah but it's not on Netflix I went to watch lockstock and two smoking barrels but I didn't enjoy it as much because there was certain about it that

was um i'm trying to think it was very like talented director gets first shot a big film but you can tell because like everything all the cameras are really grainy and everything's a lot slower and there's way less let's say action in it yeah because they couldn't they just couldn't do it couldn't afford to do it would be too hard to shoot and i was what and i struggled to watch it because i was i just come from the like the excitement of snatch and was being like told yeah okay now lower expectations a bit like calm down i just I couldn't be bothered. I also love that kind of movie

that snatches there where all these strands are just out doing their own thing barely relating to each other and then they cross and it's very cool. What we've watched actually the new Fast and Furious.

Oh yeah, you went and watched that. I'm so glad I didn't. It's fucking awful. It's fucking terrible. Because I was actually hoping it might be fun but then it just sounded like

it was soul-sucking and that was it. The whole box and leave. I didn't know you'd seen it We saw it with Alex Everyone's seen it Reuben hasn't I haven't seen it But I don't care

True fans of the franchise Yeah I haven't watched I thought you were a first and furious fan No You don't understand what is wrong with this one It doesn't have the family element Oh god It does

Yes it does There wasn't a single barbecue Spoiler alert They become brothers by the end It wasn't a single rooftop Barbecue No barbecue no barbecue No barbecue

What's even the point Yeah there was not Corona There was no corona in that middle Yeah, it fucking ruined it. There was no rhythm of the night. What the fuck? I would say, as a non-play show, so I like that bit. As a Fast and Furious fan, it's fucking terrible.

It's not what you said after it. You said, you fucking loved it. I loved it because I'm, I fucking like Jason Statham. But the thing is, can you remember a car scene? There's fucking one car scene in it, pretty much. Then they drive through a building. There were quite a few. No, the car scenes are awful.

You got the... I saw a, in the trailer, there's like a stupid dirt buggy thing. Looks like something that Ford's Horizon. Drip around the edge of it. of like a cliff top and the effects were rough and I assumed was it just because that was the trailer cut and they needed the unfinished VFX like footage

I mean the the stuff that they do in the movie is clearly so fake that of course your brain's going to be like oh that's that didn't happen like mission possible Tom Cruise is out there like he's going to die no that's the thing watching these car

car chases in Fast and Furious that's like the point of the movie um there is none though fucking mission Impossible did it better. Yeah. Because it looks real. It's fucking awesome.

No, it's the best. Yeah. It's so fucking awesome. The one thing about Fast Furious, you can tell the quality between the fight scenes between the WOC and Jason Statham. There's a fucking massive difference. Yeah, because the Rock sucks. They have like a contract as well that they can't be hit a certain amount of times

before they then get a hit back because everyone has to look like a hero. Well, the rock would be like one hit and then he's got to hit back. Mm-hmm. Because he never... Jason Stavis is like a martial arts expert. Yeah, he's actually a real. really talented um stuntman yeah yeah he actually does he actually has like a natural charisma on the camera as well yeah so shout to jason statham for being the best thing about those

movies consistently and jason statham has been in good movies yes i was actually what i was actually looking through he's been in two hot two of all the movies he's rated so on i'm db is he's going by the two the two highest are both fast and furious the other two locks stock and snatch the rest all of his other movies are like six star yeah well there was transporter Transport is quite entertaining. He's in it. What are we even playing? Quick.

We've got less than two minutes. Randy? Candy Crush? James? James, what are you been playing? I've got, I can say so much about Fire Emblem. I'm fucking... Is it good?

Carry this on into the next segment. Fire emblem's fucking incredible. I love it. Do you have any idea what the Reddit questions were looking like? Okay, so I guess we'll just have to continue. If you want to talk about fireman for a little while, go ahead, James. Talk about something that you're passionate about. We're not too long.

Fire Emblem. Not Oolong T sequel, not sequel, just a new game to the franchise Coming to the Switch Massively updated Super Japanese Really fucking fun And there's loads of

There's free houses you can pick That's a lot of story content It's a lot of variables I'm 25 hours in Not even got to the second part So I've got loads time left So great game and I recommend it Nice

Well I've been playing Octopass Traveler And Red Dead Redemption too I've got a newfound respect for that game I used to be very God damn God of War is of the game of the year by a landslide

but now I'm like Not by a landslide But God of War is still Was still the game of the year Red Day Redemption 2 In your opinion In my opinion But I mean it was Game of the Year though

At the one of those fucking arbitrary At the VGA's Yeah that Chewling can suck Jarmedia's dick Well Something about Red Day Redid Redemption 2 As great as it is too many things for two little buttons on a controller that's the trouble with it there's so much detail

need to release on PC and it wants you to have so much that's a problem with so many games on console yeah by the ultimate super Xbox controller to fix this one example today I was doing a mission where you've got to go and you've got to go and save somebody and you go into a room and and and you hold alti to get to aim people and it also locks to the character you trying to save instead of the enemy that's looking at you and I was just like what the what the fuck is this we'll be back After these messages. This is fucking stupid. Guess what we got in store for you today, lads?

John many of your t-shirts. Check the description below. So basically, um... Red Diversion 2 is a good game, but God of War is still better. But Octopal Travel is an awesome game. And worse than both of them. I don't even know if it's fair to, like, compare those three games. Is it a trouble?

Octoparth does one thing. really well. Combat. Yeah. Really satisfying combat. Yeah. Gameplay. Gameplay, just generally.

Yeah. But story, story. Atrocious, voice acting, atrocious. But the visuals. Visuals are good. Yeah, there you go. So two things well. Yeah.

And music. And music. The music is very good, actually. Yeah. Really amazing. Sounds even better on Spotify because I guess it's like uncompressed or less compressed. What you're saying is it's shit because Dunky said it's shit. So I'm not listening to you.

No, I give Octopaph like a strong 8. A 10. If it's not a 10, I don't want to play it. Yeah, I'd give it like a 7.5 at 8. I'm really sorry for that. I think it's probably because it's like my first game like that on... It's great for portable stuff. Yeah, that's the thing.

That's probably why I'm enjoying it so much. Yeah. I'm playing this on my fucking Switch. Well, on the subject of Switch, I've realized I can't play that game at that console mobile. I can't. do you give you headache no because my eye all right it fucking just goes nuts i can't play it i've got a docket that's like randy when he takes off his glasses no don't don't that was a close one

he nearly fucking his eyes and he went around the wind changed that'd be fucked yeah but octopath i want to just say something about jrpg progression what i've experienced anyway with with proper jrpg progression compared to other RPGs uh they don't like hinder it there's no scaled difficulty it It's just sort of like, yeah, you are this powerful now. You kill these things instantly. Except Final Fantasy 13? Final Fantasy 13. The thing with Final Fantasy 13 was that the way the game...

Well, no, actually, I steam-robbed most things in that game because you're meant to do the quests around the air. But that game was not even open world as a thing. It gave you, like, just enough enemies to be just a high enough level to beat everything you would in the next area. Can we not talk about Final Fantasy 13 for fucking one? I just wanted to say, yeah, that was it. It's the greatest Final Fantasy ever made. Octo Parth is better than Fanci.

Final Fantasy 13. Also about Traveler is better than Final Fantasy 13. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. What's your favorite game, Randy? Candy Crush, you already said.

Probably Gears Award Judgment. I've been playing Moonlighter for like two days. What's Moonlighter? Fuck you. I know what Moonlighter is. Everyone knows what Moonlighter is. It's an indie game made by racist. Okay, that's a lie.

Um, well, council culture. So, at, at night, you roam the dark, spooky dungeons and collect the goodies. Scary? The loops. So it's just a dungeon. Give me the loops. No, it's a dungeon cooler, but then you leave, right? And then during the day, I mean, you can choose to do either of this stuff, like, whenever you want.

But during the day, you can open your shop and sell your goodies. That's why it's moonlighter. You moonlight as a... Yeah. You're a moonlighter. You moonlight as a dungeon crawler. That's like the, so at night you go to... So this person doesn't exist because he wouldn't, he would be asleep, surely.

No, you can sleep in the game. It doesn't have like a Bethesda game bonus, but like... You can choose to not open the shop during the day and just go and do the dungeons at daytime. Or open the shop and then just go to sleep and then open the shop again if you got enough stuff saved up. But this game... What's the story?

but what's... There is a story but like I'm just so hooked at the moment I'm not far into this game at all but just going into the dungeons getting my loot

and just making a profit because it costs like 200 coin or depending on how far you get through the dungeon it costs more and more to leave it so it's all about like

making a profit from getting your goods it's just capitalism the game and it's so fucking addictive and it's awesome and it looks nice and it feels good

top down like um yeah yeah it's like um i'm thinking of a game that's like hotline miami top down so perspective no like i mean it is that perspective there's a game the crypt of the like necro dancer that's top down yeah i'd say it looks kind of similar it looks like there's another one there's a more obvious one but i can't like the upgrades and stuff are fucking cool there's like loads of different weapons and you can upgrade all of them shit's so fun that's what I was doing an octopath today. I beat one of these, like, secret bosses

that gets you a secret, like, class for one of the characters. And it was really great because he kicked my ass, like, three days ago. And then I went back there, and I fucked him so hard, and it was great. And then I went to try to do another one, and that one beat me. That one did still beat me. So that was less cool. But there are eight characters and eight stories.

And that's, I think that's good. I mean, the stories aren't great, and I don't do it any of it for the fact that I can care about the fucking stories, particularly. I just do it for the fact that I enjoy, I enjoy fighting things. Well, the fun thing with Octoparth is that you, like, progress. And, yeah, in the gameplay's fun. And what I was thinking to do, to make it more challenging, for example,

is because let's say you've got four really powerful characters. You can sub one out for a weak one. I'm saying, what if I just sub three out and keep one really powerful characters to make it more fun? You're allowed to do that. You can do that. You could still do it that way. You can do that.

Something I wish Octoparth didn't have was voice acting and just had readable stuff. Or just the odd line, the odd lines. I don't mind, like, the in-combat lines where one there will be like, flames, whoa, and it's always the same. Every time you use that move. There was one in particular. Flames. How? That was getting really annoyed about was there, I'll do my best.

Just every time one of the characters has to do their move, I'll do my best, okay. I'll get it. You've been doing your best for about 786 turns. Just fuck off, okay? And that's another good thing about mean, lighter, no voice acting. because like that if you don't have voice acting your dialogue can be as cringy at least just make it like Japanese or something yeah what the fuck it is whenever like when Japanese is translated to English it always sounds cringy look at breath for the

wild yeah it's fine when you do it I don't even know that's necessarily about the dialogue the voice acting quality is just piss poor in the English uh translation or dub or whatever the dialogue is bad but the the I think the voice acting is possibly worse yeah yeah the voice acting is awful in breath world Anyway So let's stop talking about that Because that's not accessible To that many people

This is the part of the show Where it all breaks down It gets real intense No one makes a sound Everything looks like It's 8-man now Take it away Eminem Dad's ravioli

Scooby-Doo Monsters on Unleashed This is a part of the show Where we answer questions From y'all Over at the JAR Media Reddit I just noticed right I keep looking at myself there

that it looks really like my hair is falling out. It's really bad right there. My hair isn't falling out. I just have an awful hairline. I always have since I was a child. Ever since I was a wee boy, I've had a bad hairline. Airbirds. A wee boy.

Rough life, spell RUFF. We have a good mixture of hairlines on this cast. You've got to say I've been gifted with mine. I've been fucking, my hair is just, is something. It's so just... James is quite thick hair, doesn't it? fucking incredibly thick hair. James is hairy,

lush hair. I'm fucking hairy everywhere. James, just take your trousers off a second. If James had blue eyes, he'd just be Edward Cullen. From Twilight, the hit movie,

favorite movie. Do you have a hairy bum bum? Yeah, is your ass hairy in it if you have diarrhea it's all sticky to the butt. There's a bit of hair there, I guess. As normal.

As a film buff, Randy, are you looking forward to the lighthouse starring? Don't even bother with that pretentious bullshit. And the actor's name Green Goblin

William DeFoe Yeah, no He's shit What do you think Alex Would be looking forward to it there Oh yeah 100% Yeah I was surprised when Willem Defoe

Was in Drumwick American Cycote Yeah He was great in that one Oh course He's the detective He's the detective yeah

I love William Defoe Yeah he's amazing Anyway Anyway should we do some questions Do you want to do the honours Randy I would but I can't read Why do you wear the glasses So I can actually see

How do you even use a phone? I just press I just press until I hear a noise Can we can we just How are we going to take Randy out? What are you going to kill me? No not taking out that way I mean we might

We might kill him I'm making sure he's Make sure he poisoned me so I die slowly He's got some meat on them bones We could definitely cook him and eat him Yeah I fancy a bit by steak give me a one of them

Sky funerals Give me one of them Throw you out of a plane No It's where you're cut up And then vultures at you That's not a sky funeral It's a European funeral

It's a Nepali's sky funeral Look it up That's not in a bad way You even just start You start at the top And you go down Yeah but like What if I don't want to answer

This question What's the most ridiculous thing You've said or done in which you offended someone else by the Oreo Crumbles Oh, where do we begin? Um I've probably offended a few people on this episode

No you haven't That time our friend referred to moving as a I've done some I don't want a really embarrassing one My friend wasn't offended by it But I was with him And he was posting a letter

Or yeah he was posting a letter no it was a check and he was cashing the check and the handwriting on it was really wobbly and I made some joke about like who the fuck had written that or whatever and oh my grandma she's got MS

she's got most of the scourts and he was just oh yeah and I was like well I just said well I couldn't possibly have known that I just assumed it was you know that's not where your mind jumps to it would now he didn't care

it was fine but it was horrible just in that moment so we've been council we've been boys but he wasn't offended I just felt like an idiot for it and I've never actually told that story before

because I just don't think about it often I can't think of a time I've like truly offended someone me I mean like when have I offended you then all the time you fucking take you dismantle my car every time you get into it

that what are you talking about you fucking son trying to get all the last with the beer out Rubin have I ever offended you who have I offended me I'm trying to think I don't know because I don't hold on to shit like that

this shit's on vogue yeah neither do I I just don't remember like if I put someone down they deserved it I tried to trust myself to think they probably deserved that putting down the thing is I don't put people down I don't do it to their face any

yeah yeah I keep that shit for myself. Yeah. What about like inanimate objects? Do they come? No. Okay, no then. Oh.

Oh, no, I can't bore with that one. Not even that good. No, I'm sorry, everyone. It's not a good story. Yeah, sorry. It's too convoluted, I can't know it. I've never done it. Yeah, that's a toughie.

Sorry, everyone. Um, hmm, okay, I'm looking as well. If the whole cast starred in a slasher horror film, who would play the killer whose identity is on there? Wrong who's. about this is W.H. Oh, don't go in on them.

They're probably only about five? They're probably not even from England. Skeptic who's killed first because he mocks everyone for being afraid. Ruben? The love interest comes to the rescue but is murdered off screen and found by the main character. And the final dibby who battles it out with the killer. Like the survivor of the... Why do I have to be the love interest?

James is the love interest who dies. Reuben's the skeptic who dies. What are the other two? The killer. Wait, hold up. I wouldn't even I would just be running the fuck out of there in a situation I just be like fuck it I'm going home

just run and that'll be that no that's why you die then yeah you're the love interest and Randy is the main character wait I take the killer down how'd you do it how does Randy do you can't take the fucking killer down no Randy you're not in it

I have an arsenal no it's what would he do what I do let's take the killer now what would your brother do for fuck save probably something like really camp and annoying

Jesus Christ my opinion uh uh should we do an advice oh wait that that previous question was by neurosin

we didn't even finish it because who the fuck's the killer you you by process of elimination you would definitely be the one to kill us. 100%. I don't know. Any opportunity I'm getting, you're going down.

I mean, I was, I remember I was at some party, maybe it was a New Year's Eve thing. I don't remember anymore. It was a couple years ago now. And we were doing some, one of these fucking drinking games and someone who would most,

who would most likely kill everyone in this room to survive? And the answer came out as me. And everyone was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, he definitely killed everyone in this room to survive, yeah. And I was, yeah, I would kill all of you to survive, sorry.

See, I don't kill people, Neither are I, but... Oh, really? Oh, shit, are you not supposed to do that? I'd only kill you to survive then. I don't kill anything. I'm pacifist. Fuck.

I've seen you murder a fucking waffle. Yeah, we got a bit of a heavy one coming. Okay. Oh, shit. You ready? This is by H-H-H-H-H-H-L and H-H-H-H. Yep, that's a good name. JAR Media, can I ask some advice?

No. Yes. Sorry, everyone. Next question. No, I want to hear it. I live in a small town, and when I was real young, I had loads of friends, and it was all cool. When I was 12, I moved countries. And now I'm back.

My problem is that all my friends here are normies. And my sense of humor and interests are more similar to you guys is. And in my small town, I don't know anyone like me, to be honest. Thanks, Jar Media. Just come to this town then. Problem solved. Let me just say. Can we be for real this time, please? Go to...

This group. I don't know. Go to university or something. This group has... ...has a weird sense of humour, but I still have other friends who are normies. You don't have to constantly have the same group. James is very true. I have friends that might be considered to be more normie, but they perfectly understand me, and I understand them. That's the thing. There's an understanding of each other.

Yeah, I mean... fact that we all find different things funny they they like football some of them yeah i don't really care i could talk to them about it for a bit but my knowledge would quickly be exhausted and that would be that right but yeah there's still a point of of of we can relate to each other still it's fine you shouldn't limit yourself on friends just by what if you're interested interests like i'm more likely to like go to the pub and everyone get really pissed up with them i'm more likely to do that to get pissed with them and at that point

whatever you're talking about doesn't matter because you're all too pissed to actually don't talk about anything so like no I would say like don't limit yourself you're who your friends are and if you want to have a sudden change I don't know how old you are do something that changes like go to university that can suddenly be like

I'm in a new place now but it's worth making an effort with the people that you know from when you were younger I mean like just because they're different doesn't mean you can't get a lot and you might change you might rub off yeah you can you can always find like nobody you meet is going to be your perfect ditto and everything you agree with so it's boring yeah that would be boring so just like jamie was so close to be in mind but then he said that he thinks moonlighters about the night's 12 travel and i was like well shit after years of friendship i finally realized you disagree on some things on one thing that's like it it's also it's also good to consider the fact within this group. Randy, tell them off.

My interests are completely different to yours. I can't get involved in your conversations of music, movies. Pretty much everything you like. Oh, we didn't talk about what we've been listening to. Well, it's too late now. No, do it right now. One album.

Ramstein. Alex, Randy? Whatever. What has Alex been listening to? System of the Down syndrome. Let me have a look. I've been listening to Tool because all their music was released on Spotify

and I've always wanted to listen to it. So I listened to two tool albums and I was really enjoying them. Let's say, Hold My Liquor by Kanye. Okay, anyway, back to what the question was. Yeah, don't let me yourself. And if you really want to have a change, I mean, don't fall out of touch with these people.

I'd be like if I went to university and just stopped having anything to do of anyone I knew from back home. Yeah, yeah. The funny thing is, I don't even, I have a, you know, I've only got one group of friends at university, really. One, and then like two groups of friends at home.

That's it. That's it. But also, like to talk about other stuff I don't do this but go online yeah like obviously be careful Reddit there's a limit to how much you should base all your friendship

yeah yeah yeah some of them aren't going to be that real or tangible yeah or within reach even you know I mean just depending on where they live as well if they are into things we like lots of places have like clubs and meetings and shit you'll find some

I just think Also depends how old though Be open to doing new things And like take an interest And someone else's interest Because I don't like golf I will go golfing with my friends Because I'll have fun

Even though I fucking hate it And I can't do it You just got to put yourself out there What you need to remember Is that everybody sits on the toilet And there's a fat, stinky shite And you can always start Moving on to the next question

Just don't limit yourself, dude Yeah I'm also looking at the questions Which one are you going? We got, um, underscore blue, underscore gene, underscore. Okay. My daughter, Mina. Mina.

Miner. Mina. Mina. Mina. Mina. Yeah, minor. Meena. Is a big fan, and she has been improving her dental hygiene lately and told me you inspired her to do so.

Thank you so much. I'd be grateful if the jar cast would also tell her to pick up her damn trash. Pick up your, what is the teeth thing about? Have I missed something? Alex talked about how he flosses his teeth every day or something? When?

When did you talk about it? We literally talked about two episodes ago. We were talking about our teeth here. It was the episode you were in. I was aware. I'm not by any means asking you to take responsibility for my daughter's actions.

I hope I don't end up on arse-flash-entitled parents. Well, what I will say is what does he mean by trash? Does she throw litter on the floor outside? Because if she does,

that's a completely different story. all we? Or just you just not pick up up. Littering is bad. You just got a dirty room, just clean it up. Yeah. We all have dirty room. It's not that fucking easy, I'm afraid. And recycle where possible.

Yeah, way to recycle. I recycled some Domino's into my fucking... Do you know what Domino's boxes? Supposedly they won't... When you put it in, like, your recycling bin, it probably won't actually be recycled because it's got like grease in it, so they just don't bother with it. So it just goes into the landfill anyway.

Oh. Yeah. I mean, at least it's cardboard, so it's easier to... But all the same, that's lame. If they meet their recycling, quota they just put the rest in the landfill anyway. Basically I can't believe that's a legal dog. Fun fact

there. But this can. It says pant one crown and it's the, I don't know, it says it twice but I think one of them's the Norwegian one. You get paid to recycle in those countries in the Scandinavian joints. What like 2P? Like 0.1 of a, hang on,

1 crone. Yeah, 1 croon is like 10 10. Let me just say this. I'm 100% confident the world's going to fucking end and I'm going to kill myself before that happens. Shut the fuck up. Well, no, I'm just really banking on some really smart scientists.

We're going to be fucking fine. I guarantee you, in our lifetime. We are going to be more than fine. We're going to be fucking... We're going to be even better than we are right now, probably. We're going to just be machines. In 30 years, I'm putting it look like I did at 30 because of some new bullshit that makes me look at.

We're just going to be one with our fucking phones. That'll be it. Yeah. I just fly around the fucking round. New iPhone being announced, apparently. Is Randi's brother looking for it's the new iPhone? It's a fucking Apple show. Don't want that.

All right. Question from 48 inches. Oh, well, Blue Jean, that's... Wait, you didn't finish it because... No, that's the secret one. Ow. Oh, Jesus. Yeah.

Basically. Blue Jean? Yeah. Yeah, we'll improve. Everyone brush your teeth more. Yeah. Well, no, not too much. I'm healthy, man.

Don't leave, like... Don't leave shit on the floor. Well, you can leave shit on the floor because that's biodegradable. Ah. Yeah, I shit on the floor the other day. Fuck off. Why are you here? Just fuck off.

Which question are you doing? 48 inches. Have you ever attempted to suck yourself off? If so, did you succeed? No. I've never tried. And no. Yes and no.

You've actually tried to suck your car. Everyone is right now. No. Have you really tried to suck your dick? It's the main reason I'm doing yoga is so more flex. I haven't. You can't reach it. Everyone's tried to reach it.

Because I know that. I'm not stupid. I know I can't reach it so. Everyone tries, though, just to know. I didn't try. wow i've never tried you in my head he's so much holier than now i am well i want to do this question

actually it's one we've answered before like favorite bands and shit my favorite band but yeah i've a groovy a f i do listen to the queens of the stone age no they're shit they're just reading that one actually there you go um favorite rock band um probably the beatles version of it favorite rock band game um rock band for the xplex 360

that's the best one Yeah Put her there Bam No it's for the PSVita Idiots Excuse You heard

Finally Uh I'll find a fat Juicy one I'm trying I'm a juicy one That will keep us going Not as many questions

Are coming Because this thread's only existed For a few days That's the unfortunate part Well Jim shouldn't be asking us about fucking guitar hero if you suddenly became really good at an instrument which instrument would you pick and why oh saxophone I'd become an amazing like trumpet I've become an amazing drummer and I'd just be in a jazz band and I'd be the best drum

in the world and I'd just be a fucking millionaire from it and be awesome trumpet I would pick the flute the pan flute that's about the triangle she's something difficult for a change fuck off why are you here go away idiot wait I found one that's fucking just

oh hang on that was from Than Roshu alright grey tickles has another question for us seeing as though this is the last

jarcast before A level plus GCSC results day do you have any advice for those of us getting our results if you get bad results no because like

it's done like you're allowed to cry what's done is done The voice can we possibly give The work has already done Yeah, exactly, that's what it just said Sorry, bro And I'm buying a gun

Best album there, Jack White He's a great artist, Jack White Yeah, he's the best rock band Can barely even paint What? Who's on that one, mind it? What does that mean? No, like,

He's the most stereotypical American jar member That's from Cat Spider 2 You were still answering a question though What was the question that you just did? The one about results day Oh yeah, let Jamie do that one Sorry everyone I interrupted We'll do that one in a minute

Why do I have to do it Because you were saying something You're in the middle of saying something So what's done is done Yeah but then you read that out Yeah I mean what's done is done I mean if if if it all goes to shit Like it's not the end of the world

It's not the end of the world If you can just do it again Yeah just do it again If you want to redo some stuff redo it. Do it better. Be honest with yourself about the amount of work you put in. Could I do better? Do I want to do better? Trying to think about what in that time and what you want to do.

I mean, and if you want to go to university, don't be deterred because everyone says it's pointless. If you want to go, just go fucking do it. Fuck it. None of it means anything anyway. You're going to snort cocaine, so whatever. Yeah, you're probably going to three quite good years, probably. Probably be quite fun. And yeah, that'll be that.

Don't take any of it for granted, though. Don't take any of it for granted. because it will fly by and suddenly you're entering your third year and then you're like oh shit I've got to get a job and while I am glad I'm entering my third year and a house and a car I do look back on the past I'm like damn regret what you do not what you don't do

you got to live like one of them smack dogs you've got to live like a dog yeah live life like a dog James's most insightful thing he's ever said what was the actual quote he was like I don't plan live like a dog yeah yeah don't plan live like a dog woof who so this is from

what why the fuck are you here so cat spider's who is the most stereotypical American jar member jane none of us yeah I think we're all quite based in our English heritage yeah I think we're all quite English

yeah who likes burgers the most Alex I do thoroughly enjoy burger but who does enjoy burgers the most Alex maybe me the answer

is Alex? I do get in the restaurants quite a bit. He doesn't even eat fucking beef. Chicken burgers, they count. So that's the one thing that, okay, just go against loads of Americans then who don't eat beef. Stereotypical American, you god damn fool? What the? That's it. Can we kill him? Oh, I can read when he take my glasses off. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Are these jar car subjects? Yeah. Why is Age of Ultron on there? Oh

One day you'll find out No, you're not looking up What is the most Gears of War quote You can remember? That's from Great Overlord Now I'm pissed Now I'm pissed That is the quote that made me realize Wow, Gears of War isn't very good

Now they begin to understand Yeah, surely is the... What about I'm gonna shoot them in their ass? They can run! I'm just gonna shoot them in their asses And there's obviously, it's a Giant worm, which is the best line. That one's stuck to me. Giswold 1 is shite.

It is shit. It isn't. Gizwar 3 is shite. No. Giz war two? Good. I like that game. Still shite, though.

That's what makes it so fucking good. That game isn't online co-op, is it? That entire game is an online curve, is it? There's only like a co-op campaign. That's all there is. What? Giswar two. It's not co-op.

This is. Whole campaign's co-op. Yeah, I swear we've played on one. The whole campaign is cop. But there's only two of you. It was Gears of War III that made it so four of you can put it. No, no, no, no, I'm pretty short. Yeah, Gears, they've all been co-op campaign.

Nah. Gears of War II, I was playing it not even that longer. Why would Geys War II not have co-op and Gears of War I? I'm just remembering because Alex fucking lied to me, Alex, who's not here, lied to me when I was growing up saying that you can't play Gears 2 online co-op unless you buy the DLC. So then he played the DLC with me, specifically,

and not the campaign. It's because the DLC, had like a deleted chapter didn't it yeah yeah he only played that that that car up with me refused to play it with me otherwise I wonder what Alex is doing where did he tell me well I don't know probably embracing

liberty what yeah that that proves that Alex is the most American that's what I was trying to tell you but you know one wants to listen to all and Jim just doesn't listen he doesn't eat beef but he's what if he actually does

oh my god quickly nah this can wait for after embrace the establishment yeah just just pick your like personality you can't just flip-flop you motherfucker what's your opinion on sport and football football and sport in general 48 inches everyone cringe I like football unless it's smashed for his ornaments thank you for watching this episode of the jarcast bro I my favorite is um nope METI-A-ha-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.