JAR Media Posdact - Randy's REVOLUTION - Brocast #13

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 28:06 Mid Break 30:22 Questions: Halo x Star Wars: Dawn of IT 33:14 Explaining The Silent Scream 34:25 Crimes We Regret 37:58 Instant Skill 41:11 Innocent Little Lies 46:19 Cold Showers: The Return 51:21 Hardest 100% 57:39 Stogie Moment? 1:02:41 X's Animated Sitcom

What do you think of people who like, like, bleep their own speech? Freakers. Oh, freaking hell. No, more like, oh, you know. People do that? Maybe they have children. Holy sacked. You know?

Them sorts. Don't get me started on them sorts. Oh. Do not get me started on them sorts. Which sorts? Do you ask you? you know the enemy

which enemy you know they're nasties yeah welcome to the villain episode naughty nasty ninches on the scene yeah ah we're the villains here what do

they compromise I thought that's what good guys do Yeah, yeah. What's the opposite of compromise? Double down. Yeah. We double down. Wow, double down.

Yeah. Didn't you think there are certain hand, like, movements that... Evil gestures. That's why politicians, like, they're told, like, don't point. It's rude. You've got to do this. By the way, this is much less. I'm ordering a subway.

Give me the meat-free... meatball maranana the maranara trench marianara meatball trench there I'm going to go for first them ones down there I didn't I'm going to go straight for them down there and I'm going to get them

you're doing the wrong one I'm doing the aggressive one because I'm trying to be horrible I mean I'm trying to be a good guy wink I'm trying to be a good guy wink wink No, I can't do it. Look, dude. Wingardium Leviosa.

Run, run Randy through the ring, man. Like, politics is on the brain. Leaders are coming on stage. They're delivering important speeches. This is what Randy is here for. Randy's here for the votes. Randy's here for the people. Randy's here to bring you out from the gutter.

Randy's here. to make them rats come down to our level. I feel like that didn't work. I feel like the rats are beneath us. We are the rats. It's the rat party. Yeah, the Randy and the rats we're coming up for you. The rodent party, because we are for all rats.

Randy and the rodents. Randy's rodents. Yeah. You got a capybara, you got a guinea pig? No, no capybos. They come from far away. They're a splinter party. There's a radical.

Like splintered... The radical rodents. The radical rodents and it's all like disenfranchised capy borrowers. Hmm. You used to pay us good wages for being nurses for the other animals. For the hot spring monkeys? For the hot spring monkeys? All those TikTok...

TikTok. TikTok advertisers that we don't even get a single cent of. Ooh. And that's what our platform is here today. going to do for you thy you thou you thou art a soul of

rodent thou art struggling nowadays are we not should we try and do an whole episode speaking in old English Yarrug meat heart framed as a political debate you know

like this is political debate from a few hundred years ago you know yeah they didn't vote did they Thou art really, are we? Thou art, no. Thou aren't immigrant, are we? Thou like immigrant? Me no.

You? Yes. Thou I do not understand. Thou art typical. Thou aren't Neuropypical Yeah, so I'd pretty much For either

Those legends on stage, you know Yeah I guess it wouldn't really matter Back in them parts You know one thing I hate about my twin brother What? Like, just cannot stand about him Yeah

He's just rigid You know He likes things done a certain way He likes there being a jar dock He likes structure He likes things to fit into certain brackets And I've just got to say I'm anti that

And that's why I'm voting That's why I'm voting Yeah Because I Oh I don't know And mine will be as well Right yeah

Mm-hmm That's for just my security My safety I guess mine as well now because I repeated it when I just just through that repetition you are now going down with me not if it's this is the platform so let's say let's say like you're the you're the agro like interviewer and I'm the leader of a certain party and I'm trying to become is this a role play I would say it's a Randy role play let's go

Okay Um Which country Am I the US president to be Or am I the UK president to be Let's start with UK A bit closer to home Okay

And see where we go Well I was kind of ready to be American So I'm going to do some reprogram Well now I'm on reprogramming Because I was going to do American I was going to do my whole American character Shot in someday there is going to be a president

it sounds like that yeah it's going to rock no I think I should be British I should be my true normal self thou yeah I'll cut the thou this thing are we ready I'm ready I think

Mr Prime Minister to be that's bloody me all right do you recognise how much you lie. Now listen. I know what the papers are saying. I know what people online are saying. I know the lies that are being spread about me. This is the real truth. Those who say who are liar tend to be the liar themselves. Tend to be the liar themselves and vote for me. And also all my competitors? Evil.

nasty ninches all of them sorry that was actually a lot your response to just to just totally ignore everything I said Yeah yeah like ask me a direct

Like a direct question And watch how I deal with this Um Are you a human? This is a thing In these interviews It happens again and again And the people are tired of it

These questions frivolous Pointless I am here to speak for the people The average person I have lived The average human The average No I don't want to talk about humans right now

We're talking about people right now Actually I see how you're trying to spin this how you're trying to play me the way you talk about me in the media i don't appreciate it actually to be honest um but together with me if you vote for me i will bring the ideals of the people and i'll bring the party back and the country back to where we should be and we will play everything would be great no further questions see how easy it is yeah you can just say any words as long as they don't relate and as long as you like take a break if you go like listen

I'm gonna You know It's all about like just how you present it Look let's do like a couple different options of like Look and tell me which one you'd vote for okay I'm gonna do two different performances To the same question So that was with number one

Um No this is fresh This is refreshed Okay do you want this is a roundy refresh Just something's simple like an easy one Okay Um What do you

gonna do about the situation in Gaza Leader 1 Oh um Um Um Ooh I'm not really sure

Now Leader 2 What am I gonna do I'm gonna fix it before I'm even in power That's what I'm gonna do Forget about it Who you vote for Be honest

You said you were gonna do 3 Why I changed Do you want me to do 3? I can do a third. Yeah, I do one more. Bonjour, Vejové, monseigne, oh, what are you doing?

Obviously that guy doesn't go. I'm going number two. I'm going to be real. That, like, that filled me with, like... Confidence, right? Yeah, I don't need to worry about anything. That's in-charge-ness.

It's the three parties. One is the L party. One's the W party. And one's the Sigmund. party no no straight sigma oh we're like riding that like one more generation in the maybe yeah yeah when um when line up your ghats and head to the polls yeah oh my god skibbidi your way to the the the gap if if you're a looks maxer get straight in the gap and vote skibbidi I mean, honestly, just from that little experiment that you're running, I'm feeling the need to vote for you.

Like, it makes me want to go to the polls and Pokemon Go to the polls, you know. Whatever happened to Pokemon Go? That's what I wanted to hear Kea saying. Listen, everybody, I'm bringing Pokemon Go back. We're going to reform the economy. We're going to reform UK the economy by bringing back Pokemon Go. Kea is really strong on Pokemon Go, but Rishi is like, I'm bringing back PubG. Do you remember OG Fortnite?

They ruined it by taking out the building. I want to go back pre-build. Hmm. Well. Yeah. I think we just saw. I think the country is going to be all right You know, I think we might just be okay What the fuck was that, boys?

What do you mean? Speaking of being okay, the only thing that makes us okay and survive in these harsh times The JAR Media patrons Patrions Over at JARMedia Patreon, JAR, Patreon

Patreon, Patreon Patreon slash dot bar media Barbie.com forward slash jar media where they're just legends and we're Kenuff

that's for damn sure huh we're Kenuff You know Barbie can't Yeah Anyway I'm Randy And I thought the Barbie movie Was just too woke anyway

You know Randy You're a fucking idiot Put my hands up to that And that's where I'm going to be Prime Minister this July I mean Um so my twin brother who I hate Um

I guess Told me to host this episode of the procast I guess Um He his logic to me was that because episode 13 He thought because he's all like Believed in luck or whatever He thought it'd be really unlucky to be on this one

So he figured hand it over to the one Who can take hold of that torch Bring it home for the people Actually represent a real person and my father's a toolmaker. No, he's not. Well, he could be. And you know what?

No one has even challenged me on that, so now I've got to find a new lie, so why don't you go Pokemon Go F yourself? Huh? Don't take it there, because I'll take it further, and that's something you don't want to do.

What, you're going to do a Digimon one, equivalent? Huh? What's the opposite of Go? Stop. Digimon stop. Digimon stop. Digimon stop. Digimon stop and don't go to the polls?

Or stop not voting? All of you non-vote. What do you think would happen if everyone who didn't vote voted? Things would go like this. Where is? Can you just describe what that was for those listening? Up. Things would go up.

Yeah. Radically up. Radically like... That was more forward. Up and forward. Well, the way you said up kind of mean... Onwards and upwards. Onward and upwards, I always say in this electoral...

Regime. Rage. Yep. Rage Stama. So, bro, how you been? Shut up. Huh? Idiot.

Well, because if you vote for me, then I'll actually be able to get some glass in these so I can see. I thought they were fake for a reason. Um, I decided... I don't know, when I was 12, 13. My eyes, they're just too... small. um like ryan reyneald's kind of you know dinky you know millhouse when he takes his glasses off that's what my eyes just constantly look like so i figured even if i don't need the glass

i need something to obscure these tiny things something to distract something to distract something to it's often why i carry something colorful in my hand you know just you know like jangling keys pretty much just like oh don't look at my tiny eyes don't go near these eyes. I always thought that was your stimming device. Well, either, I'd prefer that, you know, like, just as long as the focus isn't on my eyes. I don't care what you think I am. You know, it's a knife and you think I'm a killer. I'd prefer that than you're looking into my tiny eyes because of the, yeah, it's something me and my brother both have, like, quite big hang-ups on. He doesn't like to talk about it. He likes to keep it quiet, hush-hush,

because he knows people might, you know, use it as fuel to attack him or whatever people. do um a sore spot a sore spot have you ever used a knife to threaten someone who's commented on your small eyes um or let's say have you ever used a knife to distract from i can't get in legal trouble from this kind of but i like cover my mouth so not if your mouth's covered so it looks like i'm being dubbed yeah i can say i dubbed it with similar voices okay okay i dub it for me um do a content cop for me live right now what are we talking about what am i supposed to say from behind it have i have i threatened someone with a knife yes um yes they have it folks if that doesn't deserve a content

cop i don't know what does you know what i'm saying i thought the content cop got killed in the um someone should have made a content clap back a content criminal um a content robber no they all sound like you've stolen content yeah um a content burglar what defeat what can defeat a cop what can defeat a cop a content white woman yeah that's what we need we need more of those and then we are sorted finally more white women he says wrap that up in a little bow and tie the bloody knot. Do you think, and be real, my normal non-bloody voice versus the politician that has the bloody voice, who's winning?

What? Your normal non-blood voice? Like a politician who's like this. Hello, I'm me, I'm a politician, I'm bringing it home for you boys, let's go. I'm from party, let's go. You were kind of foaming into the... It just kind of comes out, isn't it? Yeah, when you get in front of that podium and grow up.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, when you tense up. Yeah. When you strain. The bloody voice went. Yeah, because Nigel Frasbis has the bloody voice. I'm a bloody lad. Come to me.

And Bobo. Bobo. If we just found it. Like, that's all you need to do. Yeah, that's the answer. You sound like you've got a deep voice and you go to the pub. And bloody hell, do you have a little pint with me? Come over here.

let's have some fun dude that's that's actually scary you really sound like that well you know every British person in in Bo slash knowledge class gets their like they're teaching

they're less their lessons I keep shortening words into things that like don't actually indicate what they're just saying less sounds like the word less instead of the word less yeah it's the same word yeah so if you say

whisk oh whisk go No, I was saying, I was saying a shortened version of okay. Um, or punch? That one works? You're allowed to say that anymore. Anymore?

When were people saying punch? Eh? If you vote for me, you'll be saying that every day of the week. How? What are we talking about? What do you do normally? What do you say normally? When?

I don't know, I, I just, I just sit here, I just sit here until someone comes along and sits next to me and start saying things and I just try and like, you just react. Yeah, I'm just a reactor. I'm just, I'm just born a reactor. What do you want from me? Hmm. I'm starting to figure this out late. So there's the react ball. The reactor sits on the react ball and reacts to the, that's what I'm here for? To what, the, the politics? Is this a politics podcast? This is a podcast? Yeah, I thought this was just like... I thought this was jury duty, to be honest. I mean, it could be.

Is this not jury duty? I've never done it before. I've never done jury duty, so I don't know. I've been sat here for like a while. I mean, it kind of looks like what I'd imagine jury duty would look like. Seems kind of formal, kind of professional. Like, you know, I could imagine someone's putting their hand up and decreeing something. Yeah, there just needs to be a guy with a hammer, right?

It tells everyone to be quiet. I mean, if all we need is a hammer, then this could be a courtroom in three minutes. Three minutes? Yeah. That's a really long time to get a hammer. Most men have a hammer accessible within one and a half minute. Do you call yourself a man and you don't have a hammer within one and a half minutes of your... In my own podcast setup?

Yes, but in my coward... Can I say the P word? Depends on which P word. If it's going to be punch, then beat the fuck out of that. Well, it's not going to be punch. It's going to be... Pathetic. My pathetic, brother.

Can't even do it. Which one? Obviously not you, because I wouldn't say that to your face. I would say that to my twin about you when you're not in the room. Thank you. Does that answer your F in question? Or am I not Prime Minister? You're not Prime Minister.

Um, and I didn't ask a question. Not yet. No, I'm, I'm fully confident that if I felt like it, I could be president. Well, same. Of America? Yeah. Because I feel that. I've always felt that. America or China. I was thinking more like North Korea, I'd like to just take a pot at, you know, just once. Hmm. Just one rule. Run in the North Korean election. Yeah.

sneak in be like you know what i'm here i'm a man of the people bring some of our juicy western ideals into there i'll bring with me fortner i'll bring with me with me the hot chip challenge you know and then i will be irresistible and then i can be my own dictator and things can just finally be good for me you know like i can finally control people and if you were a dictator how would you set things up you have asked you have come to the right place i know Because...

I didn't come here. I'm just here. Dictatorship. I've studied it. In fact, I've planned for it. I've planned for it. I'm trying to figure out where the best place for me to dictate is, though. There's a lot of choice.

The world is a big place. Well, let's say it's here. Here? Yeah. It's cold here. It's wet here. Okay. Hawaii.

I feel like I'd be too chilled out there, though. I need somewhere that's like a little bit warm, sometimes not quite as chill as Hawaii. You know, I'd just be too chill. I need somewhere that's actually going to make me want to get riled up, you know? Something important like that. You might get hot and bothered. No, but that's just going to make me mad. I'm just going to want to eat an ice cream and just sit under a pantry.

Spain. Hmm. Yeah. Because there's lots of sort of fascists to compete with over in Europe, aren't there? Yes. Fascist doesn't necessarily equal dictator. You're correct, but I feel like it might make the entry just a little bit easier. Mm-hmm. 100%.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I think we start with, uh, hmm. Let's make an anti-superhero policy. pretend like they're real you know every a natural disaster happens

just be like a iron man's villain is here you're right you're right step one of fascist dictatorship

is to create a common enemy amongst thank you yes and other of sorts yes your people yeah so of course

by the time I am the ruler of Spain what are you saying the king the Supreme Leader Supreme Leader of Spain yeah that's definitely

where I begin I'd plan my conquering because I wouldn't it wouldn't start and end with Spain of course I would need to to hop around but I wouldn't do a traditional sort of like

countries that are linked by border I'd like to jump border I'd like to make this like a plan of attack so unpredictable, so unusual. Impossible? So impossible that it would be, well, let's just say impossible to predict. By the way, if a country does this, then I'd like credit for it. Like, don't, I know history is written by the victors and all that, but don't forget where your fucking beans are made or whatever. Do you want to be spared?

If a country does do this, and you fall under... Yeah, because, like, logically, they should see me as some kind of deity or, you know, uh... Well, a key tenant of fascism is a lack of religion. So... Yeah, unless we just kind of make the idea that the lack of religion is the religion. Well, yeah, that's the... that is fascism. Now that's smart. Well...

Now that's fascist. thinking fascists but one thing though i will need to hire a stylist unless you think this will work on stage i don't know uh tenant number two you need to be styled up i figured that's why they have the name they do like yeah for fash yeah that's that that yeah that's that's that yeah that's well actually fashion is derived from Cassius, because, like, we can all agree the stuff that happened in 1947 weren't great, but some people were looking better than others. Yeah. Just don't look at what Mercedes were designing at the time.

Yeah, or Audi or Volkswagen or, like, Hugo Boss. Or anything from Germany. Really. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, to be fair, Hugo Boss is Hugo Boss, so, like, his stuff was like, pretty... My question was always, like, who is Hugo Boss's boss there? Not everyone. Is that his name, or is that his title?

I'm sure... Hugo's boss? Well, it's not Hugo apostrophe S. boss. It's Hugo Boss. So they're saying Hugo's a boss? Could be. No. otherwise it'll be Hugo is a boss

Hugo's is bosses just sounds like bad grammar to me no a possessive apostrophe where did you learn because I need to go there because I don't know what you're talking about um my mummy my mummy told me

well that same mummy lock me away wouldn't let me near wouldn't let me let me Yeah. Well, let me speak to the rest of this. If this is for him here, not even, I'm not, you know? Yeah. I'm a survivor, Mr. Guy. I'm a survivor, Mr. Guy.

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the second half. Of the broadcast, where ordinarily we go to Rajidia, Medit, And just get to it, really. I love getting to it and I love voting for the let's go party. Let's go to the polls. Let's go. Let's go party. Let's go to the polls. Let's go. LG. We just happened to be sponsored by the big energy, well, tech company LG, which stands for Lieutenant Gaming. or left tenant gamers

Or left-wing gamers Whichever makes you more likely to buy the stock I don't really care, to be honest, which So in the notes I was left of how to Well How would you say sort of present yourself Be a presenter on one of these You know?

Design Being a revolutionary Randy the revolutionary I'm like that doctored picture of Stalin over here Look at me, bloody, so lovely of it. Look how lovely Stalin looked. Don't you just want him? Don't you desire?

Don't you think I'm real? Look at this very real image of Stalin. Isn't he stunning? Look at the smile on that boy. Look at his well-groomed moustache. In fact, I'd quite like to suck him. I want to wrap my lips around his. lips um i guess yeah reddit ew what are you a millennial

what are you pogging over at the fucking champ the um the abino jackal can get us going oh here we bloody go are you joking since Star Wars and Halo suck now which do you think is worse and which will get better better first, even if it takes like 30 years. Surely you wait, they won't suck forever, right? There's a bet right now. You've got to put money on one of them. Which one's gonna get better? Which one is worse and which will get better first? I have an answer. Yeah? Star Wars. For which is worse? No, for better.

More likely to get better? Better first. Yeah. Yeah. And your season two is on the horizon. Yeah. So. That's something at least, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. Halo ain't got shit. Halo ain't got shit. Halo would need sort of a witch that's quite good at resurrections because you can't fight if you're dead, you know?

Like, Star Wars sucks and might as well be dead, but there are people who are at least like still angry about it. There's no. weren't even angry about Halo anymore. Yeah. It's more everyone's rolled over like a pathetic dog.

Wimpering, yeah. Yes, I'll take that. The big arm of Microsoft's coming down to that tummy that needs tickling. But it goes straight past Halo and rate to gears. Tiki, do you're arguable. Yeah.

And I'm fine with that. Yeah. All of this has made me realize Halo has always been fucking dick. Gears of War's been the real shit. For the real fucking men. Thank you. You know?

For the real M-E-N. For the M-E-N out there. For the fucking... The fucking women as well, to be fair. Yeah, just for everybody. For men, women and everything else. But especially men. And especially women.

And especially the rest. Everybody. It's for... Especially everybody. It's especially for the race of human. I'd say it's especially for the race of humans. Not any... race that isn't human no fuck in fact Giswall made me hate every race that isn't

human straight up it made me want to cut them in half more than cut it was cut give them it made me want to rip their arm off and beat them to death they want to give them give them yeah I want them to pop into lots of little chunks mm-hmm high-res chunks I want to be able to pause it and then get the camera loose and just oh look all these chunks yeah look all the chunks oh I can tell that that's a little bit of his fucking, fucking pectoralist major right there. What are we talking about?

Ah yes. Grammy Jame has one that makes fun of my twins, so of course I'm going to pick this. Can you guys explain the silent scream bit? You do. I think Alex maybe gave a prompt with it one time, being something like

imagine if you're being chased by Godzilla, but like quiet for some reason. I hope you know what I'm referring to. I'd also like to add that this has been added to my roller decks of basically stim noises. I can't really help it. I don't do it like involuntarily, but sometimes I just do it to tickle myself. And I don't care to try and stop.

I've done it in front of family. Friends, strangers and co-workers. I've successfully explained it to two different friends and used to do it to a co-worker whenever I'd pass them. What? What do they do? Are they tormenting people with? You just have to know, really.

You just have to understand. Imagine if you're being chased by Godzilla, but like quiet for some reason. Is this guy okay? What is he actually talking about? Well, okay, Cantalope 8127 says, hi boys. Have any of you committed any crimes at a young age that you regret? Stealing from the corner shop trespassing? I only asked because when I was 10 my friend burnt down my local GP office to the ground Don't believe me look up. I'm not gonna say where it is

Place GP office fire. I had no part in it though. Loll. I did look it up and it was real and happened in like 2010 2011. Um Nothing quite on that level outside of the time I went to Juvenile Hall for that thing I did but I don't really like talking about that publicly. One of the knife things. There's also the trespassing as well. I was kind of inspired by all these people that like doing the, I bloody went behind a whole roll of toilet paper in the supermarket

and then once it closed, I went loose. Here's what happened. Yeah. Or one of those ones that's like, I found an abandoned hotel in the middle of New York. This is me exploring the back room. I posted myself to Azerbaijan. KSI shrunk inside of a football

and swam the Atlantic Ocean Yeah, it could get quite surreal if the tech was good enough Shrunk and put into the ball that's going to be played And the European final Yeah What was the question? Crimes Ah, worst crime I've done

Ooh, got lots to pick from The fraud, the Well, I can't even say, thing I was about to say. Yeah. That's the thing with crime. Most of the time, it pays far too well.

Far too well. Dude, bro. Far too well. The thing is with crime is that you you like need a connection. You need a connection. If you're most to pay well. You know what you need most of it?

What? The Cahones. True. You need to value. you need to value not valuing yeah you know yeah i guess that's the only thing you need to value you need to value not having values but where do the cahones come into that do you value them you know you value your own cahones yeah others you want you want to grab those cahones by the cahones and you just want to squeeze you know yeah not not really um um

I've never committed a crime. That should be a crime. In a way? If you haven't committed a crime by the age of 40, you should be arrested. Yeah. Yeah, because there's so many people out there just getting like free, like food and accommodation. Mm-hmm. And I'm out here having it work fucking 60-hour weeks.

You know, where's my like double bed or not double-decker? You are bloody spitting facts, and for that, you are now an MP. This is what the country is about. MP, major player. Let's go. Now you're a straight baller at MP. That watch you got? 10 grand.

What? Straight baller MP. Well, speaking of straight balling, that feeds into this from John Zubli 2. bear bear boys and berries long-time listener first-time commenter here if you get a full knowledge of any single skills slash craft without having to pay the price for the education as well as not hearing sorry as well as not having to lose the time it takes to learn that said skill or craft what would it be well i kind of already alluded to mine criminal actually you you say yours first i need some technical lingo i feel like you know i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna go lame with this aren't What? I'm gonna say, uh, like you, you're learning this thing to the best possible ability. You know everything there is to know.

Right? Yeah. Everything. So if you want to be a drummer, you're suddenly a really good drama. If you wanted to be a lawyer, you knew all of law or whatever. I would choose... I study for the bar. You know, that would be you, you would have suddenly studied for the bar.

I would choose coding because then I could create AI and then I have the ability to do any skill you're the best at coding yeah then I can I know all there is to know about coding and I'll be like all right time to make an AI that's the best at this well you're lame answer I've got a good answer for

well my answer's better well mine is my one is legitimately the best at everything well if you'd actually listen to my answer and respect my answer for once. This is mine. Can you describe what I'm doing for those listening because this is mostly visual? Fingers into locking.

Oh. He's doing the Narito thing. The thing from Narito, but really slowly. And like really... I was going to say lame, but it kind of went cool. Thank you.

Dragon, tiger, dog, rat, ram, horse, monkey, bird. ox serpent hair bore I would get the skill so I'd actually be able to memorize that instead of having to look at a picture to do it that's what I quite like I feel like that's not a huge time investment to begin with

the hand signs from Narutu yeah well I thought the whole point of this was to skip something that would take time to learn yeah but like that's like I don't know a couple you could do it like once a day for a couple weeks

no if I could if I could whip that out you know proficiently anywhere I would once a day at least go up to a random person and just scare them scare them maybe put a curse what do they do what does narrative do with that is he like putting a curse on someone is he unlocking something no then he like punches them right just a normal punch does he unlock his chi or something no he just does it so they're like huh I thought he turned into a Pokemon no they let their guard down then he just clocks them uh They're like, what are you doing?

Bam. Mm-hmm. You know, he reaches monkey or whatever and just fucking... I don't like that. I don't like that. Almost as much as I don't like this one from the dope strope. Bear bear fellas, quick question for you. When I was younger, in primary and secondary school, I was a massive, massive liar.

Not like destructively so, but just weird shit. For example, they'd make up something outlandish, but convincing and see how long it would take to get back to me. In primary school, I made up the lie that celebrity children were wearing their jackets zipped up exclusively in the middle. These kids were zipping down to the middle and then pulling the bottom part up. The class size was only about 30 kids in total, so it wasn't too long before the vast majority of 12-year-old boys in the school were wearing and practically busting their jacket silly in the name of fashion. And secondary, I made up a lie that the security sticker in books could be stuck to the back of phones and erase the data on them. I called it a data bomb, and it got around quick, to the point I was hearing about it in the literature class with some upperclassmen. Nothing ever came of it, and no one ever did it, but hearing folks talk about the goofy random shit I made it was so intensely hilarious.

It got to the point that one of my own health instructors essentially did a PSA over it in one of my classes, just to let us know. There really, there isn't much more silly stuff I just wanted to know. What do you fellas think that says about me as an adult? I haven't really done it much since, minus a few times in university, and it would never be anything vicious or demeaning, just weird slash obscure things I'd personally find funny, thanks in advance, fellas. Ssociopath. Psycho. Killer. Psycho cascassay.

Faf, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, baby. What was the question? Is he a killer? Maybe Should he get help For his insane mind thoughts Maybe try stopping And then if you can't stop

Yeah, have you thought about stopping You thought about that for one minute Think about it right now For one minute We'll stay silent One and a two And a three And a four

And a Uh Uh uh uh uh Seven and eight Nine and a ten What was the question? Can you ask it in a way that actually I can answer? I lie to people and it makes me laugh. Am I wrong? No. Not when you say it like that. Not when you say it like that.

Yeah, I mean, I'll say when you get caught, stop. Here's where I draw the line. Here's where I get at my pen and I draw a line. Or is it a pencil? Is it my... Is it paint? Is it paint? Is it pastile?

Is it a mouse and you're on Microsoft paint? Or have I gone to get my Apple pencil and I'm drawing it on an iPad? Or have I gone to get... You're using your finger on an iPad? Hmm. Ringo Rinn-Rut. Do you want to hear something sick? Yeah.

What is it? What's the sick thing? I was just a little bit sick. Oh, a bit of sick came out. A little bit. Well, welcome to me every Tuesday evening. That's not today. It's Friday.

Yeah. But it will be me. In three days. In Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, in four days, actually. Do you remember that song for McDonald's? It's like, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Sunday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I thought that was where I am. No, he did.

Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday ever My mistake Yeah I mean I feel like I feel like your lie You know your lie is good

When it's at least destroyed a couple lives You know Yeah You're too cowardly Because this is the inevitable thing With lying You're proving to yourself That reality

Is insignificant So then You just keep pushing the lies Further and further And further They will never catch up with you. Like, why you care? Yeah.

They call them white lives for a reason. They say they're harmless for a reason. Just lie your way out of any situation. It's honestly easy. Look, try it on me right now. Um... Just ask me something I can't even deny. Just anything.

Um... A fact. Watch me. Do you live? No. And look at that doubt. I want everyone to pause and just look. look at that doubt washing over you. You can see it on your face, even though you're hiding, behind those glasses, I see it.

You don't even know where I'm looking. Exactly. Exactly. You don't even know if I'm listening. That's what I've been saying. Exactly. I think the people know exactly what I'm saying here. I think that's all that needs to be said on that. I think that's all that needs to be said on it. Um, Grammy James says, are we still doing cold, showers, if so, how's it going? Personally, I tried, for the longest I've ever tried, being pretty much an entire shower of coldness. Starting with the feet method. Also, I have this weird, like,

mental preoccupation with the cold being good for your balls. Parentheses, heat kills sperm cells. So I don't mind it much. Huh? Cold showers definitely feel like the move. But I feel like with the hair, I need a bit of variety with temperatures to get all the shampoo and stuff out. What the fuck are you talking about? Dude. You don't, do you mention about your balls? Yeah, you don't need to go that deep with it.

Like, it's... You don't need to go that low. Huh? Well, if it's a shower. What? If it's a shower. You're going to get your balls wet. Yes, but he's stopped this story midway.

in order to point out how much he loves cold water on his balls. Because it protects the sperm. Yeah, that's kind of, fuck you, wild. Yeah, I mean, you're kind of overthinking it, man. Like, it's good for proving a point to yourself. Wait, there's more. There's more? So, I originally was pretty set with a reverse slow-cooked toad,

sort of method, where I gradually make it colder and colder around max. It is pretty consistently unbearable, though mostly just curious if you guys are still doing it and have good things to say. It just seems slightly reinvigorating. I think it gets silly when you're doing stuff like

Joe Rogan sitting in a barrel of ice or whatever. Yeah, that's fucking wild. That's so beyond unnecessary. No, I think you're doing it right. Apart from the Bulls thing, that's like made me feel strange about the whole thing. Mao, I'm just so transfixed on these balls

that you know we're going to be shrunk in the coldness as well. Yeah, yeah. That's doing nothing. Like, you're gaining kind of a confidence boost from powering through a cold shower, then you get out, see yourself in the mirror and think, I ain't shit. I'm trash.

Yeah, especially with the kind of culture shock of like the normal, let's say it, the normie shower. When you get out, your balls are going to be by your knees, you know? If not further... They're going to be by your knee, by your ankles. Yeah.

On a good day. Yeah. You're going to have to put, like, dab a bit of toilet paper that sticks to the wrinkly, wet skin. Right on the bottom. Get stuck in the crevices, though. Because they're going to be, like, brushing the floor and picking up those little bits of dirt that you don't see, but somehow are there. So you're saying you, what, like, just rip off two squares and you put one on each ball. Two squares, one on each, yeah.

So they, like, slide along and, like, pick up the dust so your balls need. They don't pick up the dust. Well, no, they don't pick up the dust because they're not wet. They're dry. But your balls are wet. Oh, it's to absorb the moisture. But all the little particles of the tissue will get stuck all over the balls and then you'd have to like... Not if you time it.

Then you've got to do another dunk later on. You got to dunk later to get the dried-on tissue paper. Yeah, but you can just do that in the sink. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, a classic sort of whore wash or whatever they call it, you know. Yeah But kind of the inverse But yeah

I mean cold showers They're pretty fire in summer I wouldn't recommend doing them in winter They're horrendous Yeah That's kind of my stance on it It's like Yeah if we're getting a nice

June where the sun is out And it's really hot Then I will do it I like stepping out the shower When like when I'm sweating I get in the shower Have a shower At the end

Make it cold get all my skin cold then my pores have shrunk and they're like tight and no liquid's coming out and I'm getting crispy and dry and then I jump out the shower

ASAP although that is moisturise obviously moisturise but that's a good life hack even in winter if you're having a really hot shower before you get out

turn it down get used to that lower temperature so there's less of a shock when you get out I quite like cold shock well that's why the cold shower is so delicious on those balls but i'm saying like if i have a hot bath in winter i'll go i'll like put little pajama shorts on

go downstairs open the back door step outside and like you'll feel your paws just i'd love to feel my paws go my little puppy pads go right I'll do two more here. This one, it's the penultimate. Malaki, 177.

Hi Jar. What's the hardest game that you've got on 100% completion in? I'm currently trying to 100% just cause three, and it's making me want to launch my controller into the screen and myself into a wall, and it makes you want to have a shower and really enjoy the cold water of my balls. I can't remember the last game I 100%ed.

I don't do that shit. Shit's lame. Um, I agree. it makes games worse that's why I went out of my way to look at what my idiot twin has 100%ed to make your point for you because some of these are just like

what are you doing like why what was wrong with your brain at that time listen to this Assassin's Creed unity Unity he 100%ed unity Yes that freak

Jesus Christ Falls a five. Every achievement in Fossa five. Do you know how long that would have taken him? Do you have any idea? It's all coming back to me. Dead Rising three. Wow.

Every achievement. Assassin's Creed three. Not even Brotherhood. Not even Revelations. But he did. Three. Yes. Three and.

of those yeah yeah I didn't even know those ones down I thought unity was mad enough yeah unity's

three I believe but lightning returns Final Fantasy 13 that's one of more mental ones yeah

that's like unhinged yeah yeah yeah like breaking character for a second how the fuck did you do that

to yourself it's kind of fire no but all of those you ruined them this meant to be I ruined Assassin's Grid unity for myself there is

enjoyment to be had from that and it's just like I'm enjoying this it's kind of shit I've had my fun done yeah it's like a toxic obsessive completionist thing

um yeah a perfectionist thing maybe yeah like I remember you being so fucking angry why did I just go three game of school what the fuck My gamer score's gonna be hard

What the fuck I need to find a way That's right No, because that's right Because I remember There was like a game That had like An achievement that was like Thirteen gamer score for this

Yeah, yeah Yeah, because it wasn't You ruined it And I've got to get a 12 gamer scores Things from somewhere Or two Or two, even rarer though Yeah

I think I Because I would get you I would like play a game On your account And you'd be like, did you get me an achievement in that? Mm-hmm. And I was like, I don't know, like two maybe. Because you could still delete the record of playing it as long as you didn't have an achievement.

Yeah. Yeah. But you're pissed off if you're going to, because then it meant you had to 100%. Oh, no, I've got a 100% the Barbie game. Yeah, yeah. No, not fucking Doritos crash calls. No. Yeah, wild.

Not the Saints Row remake. yeah that's just that is online but there are a couple I do I'm happy with Halo 3 I'm happy about that yeah Gears of War 2 yeah Gears of War 3 fucking sucked

for achievements for one achievement yeah yeah but Eldon ring did you get you 100% of that didn't you?

I got all the Eldon Ring achievements Souls game achievements do not appeal to me No No, they haven't in it Yeah Get every sorcery No Uh huh

Final Fantasy likes doing that kind of nonsense Get every incantate No Yeah yeah that sucks It's like I'll I'll challenge myself To a harder run Yeah

I'll do like a no shield thing For me Yeah That's fun Don't tell me to Just Google Google where all this shit is I don't fucking care about that

Yeah I want to have fun Something I don't know what it was, but something managed to untether me from whatever game I was playing with myself, whatever meta game I was playing. Yeah, like, what did it start with?

Was it just the numbers? Um, numbers, Mason. No, it was kind of like a part of it was almost like putting out an image of like, there was sort of a culture of during the 360 of like, you would look at people's gamer score and like, look at games they'd finished.

And like, when you saw someone that had like all the achievements and all the Halo games, you'd be like, okay that yeah yeah no I have a memory when I was 18 I was like starting my first proper job and I was talking to my supervisor he said to me

Xbox or PS 4 I said Xbox and then he was like what's your game a tag so he added me right then he went in the back he'd obviously got the app on his phone yeah yeah found me added me came back and he was like

dude your game is Nuts. Yeah. And I was like, you know. Yeah. It almost is like a, you know, like a license. Here's my gamer license. Yeah.

Like how high my G is. Jesus Christ. Mine is very high. G is very high. I got that six figure G. Yeah, because I remember there was a time where like you wouldn't play games on Steam. Yeah, because of that. Yeah, yeah.

It's like a sunken cost fallacy. But now I've moved. over to steam and steam is getting me. Really? The achievement's on steam? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. Especially with the crossover ones where like you sign into the Microsoft, sorry, the Master Chief Collection.

And they will pop. They will pop. Yep. Let's go. Well, let's actually go with this one. From Diet Water. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Would you boys consider introducing a stovie?

cookie section to the cast. I've recently gotten into gars and would like to hear your opinions on the different types, as well as a discussion on which gars you have selected for the current app. Also, do you put any measures in place when smoking indoors to prevent the smell from lingering? Thank you. Kind of hit on one of the things that makes it not the most ideal. Cigars stinky. Yeah, cigars are stinky. Also, um... They're stinky and expensive. Yeah, and I don't know anything about, like... Yeah.

It's what a leaf that's like wrapped up and then you go Yes, now I'm a man Yeah Yeah, you just do it for the like There's three seconds where you feel a bit sick Yeah And then you sip your Your drink that tastes like dirt and then you go

Yes Yeah Here we go The thing is I feel like we We often try to overanalyze stuff And when it comes to like Oh this is

a nice whiskey that equals i i don't hate it right yeah it doesn't make me want to scream you know it doesn't mean this is yummy yeah i would seek this out for enjoyment it means i'm i'm showing you an image that i've got a small cock and ball essential whereas my thing is like, you're telling me this is good? Is it? Are we? Who? Ha!

I think you've kind of summarized it there for us. It's tough to get rid of that smell, though. I don't know. I don't know how to appreciate a cigarette. Maybe that's because I've, um, A cigarette or a cigar Maybe that's because I smoke cigarettes But I don't know

How to smoke a cigarette and be like Oh, that's rather fucking No, that's sort of a patina of Galaxy's edge on this There's a hint of dairy milk on this one Like, I don't know There's smoke going in my mouth This one tastes like rat grundle

Hmm, this one tastes out of bazaoy Yeah What I'm saying is we don't know We can't do that And a Stogey section One of us would have to be like a genuine Stogey addict to even Yeah

Stogey's more of like a moment thing It is a moment Yeah it's like Oh we've gone to a There you go That's branding That is Mad Men Look you just invented a cigar brand

The Moment Clark's on the wall Got that one best guerrillas album Best cigar name Best song on a guerrilla's album Sorry Best cigar name

Best cigar payoff You know Don't even Don't even need to be well made You know No Just put guerrillas art on it And people will buy it

You know Which character would be smoking it Let's take let's take you know that character bluey it's like a little blue dog oh yeah yeah take him the Australian one but draw him in guerrilla style have him smoking a cigar

with like the um you know the weed leaf behind him or whatever doing the gangster sign and the um the font yeah yeah you know the font Drake album yeah yeah one that's like

it's got the like it kind of looks metallic yeah Yeah, it looks terrible. It looks classy. I don't know if Drake has a single good album cover. No, he does. You got Damien Hurst to create one. Does Damien Hurst have a good album cover?

That's what was pretty cool when he cut a shark in half. I could do that. You couldn't? Yeah, I could. Where are you going to get all that resin? Where are you going to get a shark? Ocean. Is that like when you're like successful enough as an artist, you're literally sat there and you're like,

you know what, just get a shark, put it in resin, cut it in half, there's my idea. It's like, all these people around you're like, that's brilliant, Damien. Yeah, who else would say that? Only you could think of that, Damien. Only you could get that achieved. Yeah, or any rich, megalomaniac dictator, cunt. Speaking of that, have you seen the new? We can end on those.

The new, uh, animated sitcom that's coming out. The, the sitcom that's coming out on X. Ah, X's first sitcom you speak of. Have you seen this? Yeah. You should, he, your, your, my brother showed me. My other brother. Did I?

No, my other brother. Did he? Did, did it? It did. What? Yes, it's, um, you might be getting confused with another. one. This one sucks

even more than that one. Oh. Which one are you thinking of? The one, um, the The Daily Wire one. I don't know, the, no, the one with Dave Rubin on it. Did I send it, do you? Yeah. Okay, I forgot I sent it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one.

Dude. Dude. We keep like, every few months we bring up like the worst thing ever made has been discovered here's a new one and it was made by american conservative shocker um the best comedians in town dude it's they have such a limited scope of humor yeah where it's like you you cannot be funny no it's impossible because You can't, like, jerk off of status quo and, like, have this aura of, like, counterculture, like, you're The Simpsons or something. Yeah.

It doesn't work. It doesn't make sense. No. And Dave Rubin. Oh, my God. Voicing the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, wokey character. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Um, I mean, he, he always said he was a comedian. I remember listening to him on Joe Rogan a while back. Mm-hmm. Um, and it was like, you don't know who you are yeah you know it'll be like me calling myself yeah yeah

yeah the guy ain't funny well we we often make fun of that Simpson's episode that has a Elon Musk appearance as like one of the worst things ever made I guess because He doesn't have that jerk-off status that he did when that Simpson's episode was made,

so people aren't making that kind of shit about him anymore. He's like commissioned almost. It feels almost like commission. Where like, oh, it's this counterculture, conservative comedy thing. And then like the ending joke is like, oh, Elon Musk is here. Thank God for Musk. Oh, yeah. Thank God for X.

It makes you wonder if it was him that was like pushing for all that stuff. Well, that's what I'm saying is like, what are you like funding this? Are you... Yeah. Well, he's got to be, right? Yeah. The way it's like advertised. Um...

Worf. It's... Oh, I... I can't put into words how... I got to use the C word. Skibbitty Biden. Is it worse than Skibbiddy Biden? Yeah.

Really? Because that's hardcore. It's worse than Skibbiddy Biden. Biden, it's worse than Biden Sharts. It's worse than Biden Sharts. Biden Sharts is kind of funny. I think collecting like a deck of these ladies. Yeah.

And now I summon Biden Sharts. You activated my trap card. What was the one about the... It's like a drama film, the school shooting. Which one? She's like a hero. All it takes is for you to be kind of a legend. Oh, the Daily Y film?

Yeah. Oh yeah, I did watch that actually. Really? Yeah. Worf. I think. Might have talked about it on the sad, I don't know. But yeah, the jokes are...

It's got a laugh track for fuck so. Yeah, an animated show. What cartoon has a laugh track? It's because you'd have no clue when jokes are being delivered otherwise. Yeah. They must have, like, made it and then showed it to people and they were like

not a single laugh how are we going to solve this yeah so then they put in the laugh tracks and then they suddenly people start liking it yeah now I know when to laugh that shit is going to bombs yeah just Ian Miles Chong will love it

but like when I was using Twitter the average Twitter user was like the most liberal fucker on the earth is that no longer the case um they would be upset if you call them liberals probably

they would they would consider themselves progressives the ones you're thinking of okay left wing yeah I don't know it's just a warring who is it for on X this show or just Twitter

the show the show um i guess it's for conservatives who are sick of all that woke comedy yeah but finally need something enjoy it yep now's your chance to show who's boss yeah yeah because i remember that that was always a point of

Dave Rubin being like do you think going forward all the the artists are going to be left-leaning it just doesn't make sense because left-leaning people want to control what people say. Right. It's like, okay, you got free reign.

Go and get creative with it. That. Yeah. I don't know. To say yes to that, to have that pitch to you and be like, maybe I would, yes, because I have like what that comments said earlier, just this thing. The lie thing. Kind of, yeah, where it's like the enjoyment.

I get, I would get from being a character in this show alongside like Dave Rubin. That would be like hilarious to my grave. But he's like doing it because he thinks he's like part, he's saying something, you know? There's no anarchy there. It's just like. Yeah. I think this is a good idea. Let's own them.

Yeah. Well, I mean, comedy knows as comedy is, as they say. It doesn't get much sharper comedy than David Rubin. Yeah, the alarm that goes, not wokenaff or whatever. Creative, I believe. Matt Walsh did the exact same thing. And they made some Daily Wire movie, and it's like, let's make Matt Walsh be the crazy libtard. You know?

Yeah, they love doing that. but it's it just goes to show what these people think the other side is uh-huh they have no idea you're just as dis like delusional as the far left like you you they see you as like devils uh-huh you see them as like mask wearing like gelfling yeah yeah dude yeah you just get to a point where you just become a parody of yourself yeah yeah and you're you're like i i guess it's it it's a way of like dehumanifying your opposition yeah then you don't have to take it seriously because it's just so absurd yeah yeah yeah look at these

non binomials look at these dave rubinios yeah exactly the world is a circle the world is an oyster an oyster that you should be laping up with your favourite soul when you vote for the let's go party on Independence Day you've stuck with let's go then

and not any of the others I feel like that I'm trying to go with the I did some focus testing and let's go seem to be the kind of term that people enjoy hmm a question over here yes I focus tested it different name and I think I win

well why don't you become a splinter party and we see you bloody wins over here I'm going to create a splinter party and do you know what the label is going to be what vote boozer come have a pint vote pin vote pin

have a pint with me it's real versus fake this election day It's real on real, I say. It's real versus real versus let's go! Do you think we should like release lions into the House of Commons and see you just trumps it all? They should do like the classic like, you throw one weapon down and you're like only one he's allowed to leave, you know? One weapon?

You know, there's like the three of them, they're like on the floor like crawling and you just throw one weapon in this like, whoever, leaves his room is the prime minister you know they're like in a cage or something like they're allowed like a loincloth or something you just throw them like the crowd can like vote on a weapon and like whatever wins then you throw the weapon in but like there's only one weapon I was envisioning more like a colosseum thing where they each get to pick no I like them having to fight over one weapon yeah you know but like surely whoever gets the weapon is kind of a winner you don't know the skills that they could be hiding you know it could be a black belt in judah?

Yeah, I guess that'll make it part of, um... That'll make it part of the prime ministerial training, you know? You'd need to get some... Land some Brazilian judicious. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, maybe they should have like, um, weightlifting or something, you know? Mm-hmm.

Just see... Get some, like, World's Strongest Man, like, challenges in there, you know? You got to, like, pick up... Actually prove something on that stage, you know? Yeah. What if that was... the like the debate you know it's just they both come out and they just do something like who can pick up this tire you can survive being stabbed the nice times i'd like to see that you know

like the the monster truck they got a pull by a chain or whatever like yeah rishi versus kea pulling the chain what if they had to like jump in an f1 car and have a race like a super like a triathlon triathuson yeah triathlon that ends in like a mud fight no that's the answer those you know those man training camps oh good go for one of those 10 miles through the mud see who makes it whoever comes out a man by the end

you know what if they all make it coalition a labor conservative coalition finally the unity party yeah the yen and yang party I'm looking at the man in the mirror

Oh yeah I'm asking him to change his ways And if Michael Jackson was British I'm bloody looking And no message Could have been any bloody clearer You want to make the world a bloody better place Take a look at yourself and make a bloody change

He didn't do it. Huh?