JAR Media Posdact - rARIO rART rANT

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 07:25 Alex found 'the Buffalo' 15:00 Housekeeping 22:15 Mozzie Mayhem 24:51 LoTR Two Towers Moment 26:38 Mario Kart RANT 38:34 Mid Break 40:32 The Phantom Menace is REAL 42:31 Riddle JARling 44:38 PhD's 51:07 f e n t 56:35 Going Through some Spotify Comments #BroCastS2E4

I was talking to someone the other day and they were telling me about how the pyramids were built by like aliens yeah there was some new thing some new development with the pyramids yeah there's like a scanned underneath and there's like King Kong's under there or something

yeah yeah they found inner earth they finally found in the earth we finally found Godzilla versus Kong how long has Godzilla been fighting Kong in inner earth yeah for as long as WB at Ford set what would it take for your whole world

perception to just shift to shatter yeah um I don't know if like God spoke to me through like the burning bush or something like that Really? Yeah.

You wouldn't think you yourself crazy. I probably would think that first. Yeah. I guess that is quite a big shift in, like, world view. It would be like, oh, I'm an insane man. I'm an insane man. Yeah. Then it's like...

Never been crazier. Do I have fun with this that I'm the insane man? Never been crazier? Never been crazier. Never. Never should have come here. Yeah. Yes.

You know, Oblivion's remakes coming out. What? You didn't know about this? In real life? Yeah, it's rumored to come out like in a few months. Hell yeah. Never should have come here. Never should have come here.

Never should have come here. What's the one I love? Oh, God, what is it? That shopkeeper. Some may call this genre. Yeah, I call them treasures. Bethesda has one hell of a knack for finding just like the biggest Dorks, the voice

Characters in their games The biggest legends you mean Yeah Oh, dragon born Dragonborn Dragonborn Yeah Welcome to Winter Home Dragonborn

Should I do it like a Like a proper YouTuber Yeah Yeah Channel your inner Like Greg Miller What is up Ladies and gentlemen

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. How do they do it? How do they actually do it? Genuinely, how? I just don't. I'm not that, I'm not that man. I'm not that man. I'm not him.

I'm not him, I'm not you. I'm hardly even myself nowadays. I'm afraid. I'm afraid. Yeah, I guess I said good afternoon. But perhaps did I say, good morning. Do it like a real YouTuber. Like a real YouTuber.

Like a real YouTube. yeah um how do what is a real YouTuber nowadays good afternoon body gave a good eye yeah you need like um it needs to be like a a man my brain man man man my brain man

you know what I'm saying no where do you go to to lose money like in Las Vegasina? Casina needs to be like casino yeah Mr Beast Good afternoon, new, new, new, yeah, Mr. Beast is the way. You know, after I killed... In Minecraft. Hey, we can be saying that nowadays.

Yeah, it was all in Fortnite. Yeah. What? How you doing, bro? You're tired? I am tired. I had an early morning this morning, and a late night last night.

That's one thing people don't know, is that often we record, after you've had a long day at work so respect yeah what take the compliment I am

I mean like time you know time can make lovers feel like yeah keep going like they got time keep going like they got something real

when they know they've got nothing but time you know I hadn't really thought about it until you put it that way and now something just clicked yeah um boy george um no yeah i mean i've it's a it's a funky thing because like you work a full day Ru-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-A. But depending on the context of when that day is, your energy levels are totally different after that full day.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You're starting this one later than normal. Things are happening. Things are happening. And I'm getting a little bit scared. I'm getting a little bit scared. As John might say, don't be scared, John.

Damn. I might change my name to Micah. It is a cool name, to be fair. Why'd you do that, Micah? For the money, John. Before we get too deep into this and just completely lose them train on the tracks that we're gonna hit and then get all the gold. All the gold dust and then snorting up our noses and go down the mineshaft. I don't know where the fuck that was going, keep going. Just keep going.

Never stop. Yeah. Before we get too deep, let me just shout out of the Jiam Media patrons. Over on the Patreon, they make the show. And particularly, that audio version possible. You get the raw, unfiltered MP3 over there, ad-free. In the first or second week of each month, we also do the patron name reading,

the humiliation ritual, where we read your absurd patron names. we would I had it prepared for this episode but there's simply too much going on we're actually going on holiday this weekend Yeah It's all a bit overstimulating

And I don't know I got I got I have to get it ready And be all done and stuff So I don't know if we're going to also Be able to have a jafter hours this week Even though I've got plenty of options for them In jafter hours For those who don't know

Over on the Patreon is a Little Jaffter hours to show. We get a little bit of this, a little bit of that. We got The Invincible Season 3. Is it as good as they say? Is it as mid as they say? Is what the title is? We did a Hell Divers discussion. Will the Fartor reaction video is wild. We did a little bit of a Elon rant. Last week, that was like a full extra hour. So there's plenty going on over there. So just give us a little break if we miss one week, okay?

give me a break please that's not all there's also the jar media group chat a space an ethereal space that i've been hopping into a little bit more um especially because uh i found something that made me a little bit excited and disgusted um which i'll tell you more about briefly interesting contrast of emotion um maybe i should just say it now should i just say it now i don't know i don't know it probably makes sense to say it now because uh i don't know People might know that a few weeks ago I mentioned this, uh, this story that I had, I had, uh, conjured when I was a teenager called the Buffalo. Right? Yeah.

I just had the thought and was like, I've had my Facebook account a long time. What if I just searched the Buffalo in the search bar? And what comes up? But the actual. Buffalo story. I had like a mini breakdown because it was like, first it was like, this is, this is kind of funny, but it was, it was waves, you know, because like, I'd forgotten just quite how edgy things were around this time. Holy fuck. And then a wave of shame came where it's like, I can't believe I wrote, this is like evil.

This is like monstrous shit. Okay. Like to a, to a level where I'm like, I don't think. I could, like, even on a jafter hours, I don't think I could read this shit. Really? Like, is, I was, because I remember, this is, this is my blood meridian.

This is my, this is my, it's, it's disgusting. Like, edgy, like, it's just, I, I remember the thought process being, I just want to write the worst thing I can think of. Okay. Right.

So, I, should, have I, we do it this way right i'll show you it you can read it but don't read out loud okay i just want to see like your reaction um and on there on the on the on the spotify which does actually have comments and someone wrote in about how i ignore the comments over there and it's not through any intention i just kind of forget that it's an option i'm sorting through a lot of things here in there um and someone over there super asdka said next podcast read the entirety of the buffalo i'm not doing that really um yeah but i so i'll hand you that what sorry what was your question

well i i can see like a block of text yeah is that the entirety of the buffalo it's uh it's the beginning it's an excerpt yeah right so it like oh this is this is bad bro like i'm i'm warning you it's like horrible. Okay, okay. Okay. I'm prepared. And I've got to read this in my head. Yeah. Your face instantly. Oh my God. I don't know what was going on with me. I'm struggling to keep my place because it's not right my god it's so my god it's so fuck that

I can't deal with it I can't deal with it I I'm not sure what to do with this Yeah, I'm sorry. It's, uh, it's, uh, Isn't it wrong? This must seem like fake. Ah, hmm.

But Buffalo has anger problems. When did you write this? Too long ago. Too long ago. what do you think I'm intrigued what the five comments say Jesus Christ

Thoughts What and you put this up on Facebook Like under what alias What It was under my Alias Lloyd Anderson Yeah I assumed as much Jesus Christ

so so part of it is just like like trolling I guess it's like just fuck you whoever stumbles across this is it meant to be funny

was it meant to be funny I would have found it funny yeah because it's just so fucking outrageous yeah but the way it's written is like so just silly I don't know. Like, it is, like, fucked up.

Yeah. But, I don't know. You just, you can't take it seriously. Yeah, so I don't know, maybe, maybe, if the gentleman's convinced me I might put it on a job after hours. I don't know. I might read it on a job after hours. I might. But I need convincing.

Well, we need, we need as many patrons as possible so that we can, like, so that we can get, like, uh, Morgan Freeman or something to read it So I put it into like a Morgan Freeman AI voice Yeah So yeah I was quite I don't know Yeah I mean to find that Yeah

Um I kind of agree with your gut there like the The world should never You know Because that's something I actually put in the jail media group chat on the Tron was like, bros, I found it.

Oh, fuck. Like, I found it, and I can't show you that, though. Yeah. And there were people in there begging.

Like, please. Please. No, you're being saved. What a noble fucking jarling. Uh-huh. That's me,

the noble jarling. No. You fucking wrote that. Nothing's fucking noble about you. Jesus. Yeah. So, uh, God. Jesus Christ, bro. Let's just calm down. Let's just calm down and do a little bit of housekeeping. Sorry, I, yeah, I was not expecting that that. Um, caught me off guard. Let's head back to housekeeping. Um, so housekeeping is where we, uh, round off some of the conversations from the previous week slash weeks. Um, like, I don't know, this one from,

Charlie Ewitz 2539 Woke up for work this morning All Dead Inside Then I saw this shit And it absolutely killed me Thank you Jha Raw welcome

That's what we're here for you know Um Tim Gobel Or Global You guys are the only good content Left on YouTube Please don't die Um

After what we said about You know who Well yeah We're probably on the chopping block Punchman 5-5-2 said This episode was something special Three big men having a laager

I meant laugh Actually I don't know if it was laugh It could be laager L-A-G-U-H You weren't drinking lager You were at Guinness Yeah that ain't no lager Largar

Largar Yeah What do they mean Three big men there Nah Cyborg and Monkey Madness weren't even here Was Cyborg not here?

I thought cyborg was always a... I mean, he's here in spirit, but he's not always here literally. Okay. You know? I don't know. Maybe there was someone else. That someone else might be Mali H8-228. I don't have a comment for housekeeping.

That's okay. That's fine. Just chill. No pressure. Ryan Deakin actually had a semi-serious one, because we're talking about the meaning of life for a little bit, and it was getting very kind of normal episodey. Okay.

At a certain point when I was talking about like, like, the lint faction or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, it was quite strange. Yeah, that did get kind of cerebral. Yeah. But Ryan says, the meaning of life is to find happiness when you think about it. It's quite obvious. If you are happy, content, at peace, by definition, you don't need anything else.

Your life is complete. You can then go on to share that happiness with others. Wrong. No, I'd rather be a CEO. Yeah I want to measure my yacht against your yacht and then I want to fight No because it like You should never feel satisfied

Because then you lose that dog in you Ha Oh Um Sidra 4725 says Alex is Lex Friedman Jamie is Hassan And James is Joe Rogan

Fucking hell Really give me Lex? just because this person just hates all of us yeah not just because of Lex though you were kind of on Lex Friedman's side

last time last time it wasn't yeah you were no it wasn't you were of anything I wasn't glazing Lex at all

let the records show I never glazed Lex I probably did once knowing my cringy ass fantastic Mr. Foote said I have a bone to pick with Alex I started singing lie detector time lie detector time after he sang it on the

cast a few episodes ago not realizing it was from despicable me needless to say I was horrified at learning this but it was too late it's become a stim for me that I do unconsciously and has even spread to some of my friends I don't know how I'll break the news to them or if I even should at this point but either way I feel dirty Alex when will you learn that your actions have consequences far beyond your perception. You are a role model to so many of us. Please kindly refrain from being cringe from now on or add a disclaimer when you're about to do something cringe on the podcast so we know not to repeat it. So I've designed a warning of sorts, which I'll add in whenever something cringe is about to happen on my end, you know. Okay.

Is it Can you just put it in like every thumbnail I was very pleased With the last episode's thumbnail Did you see it I don't know if I did see it Go on the channel and look at it now I want your genuine reaction

Oh my God Jesus Was it something I said Yeah I was quite pleased with that one Why? Why? Yeah. What do and why?

It's shameful. Ain't no buffalo, but... Jake, uh, said, where is cyborg? Don't worry? He's always around. He's being, uh, held by monkey madness in the background. Cuddled. Uh, plain Jane 2.23 says,

Dear Jim and Alex, I'd like to apologize for leaving a comment last week that really pissed off. both you sad face I just wanted to clarify to plain Jane that the whole thing about last episode wasn't that it was specifically your question that upset the pair of us it was more just everyone's question so don't take it personally everyone should take it personally you know

remember can't remember a week ago no yeah me neither let me tell you every week week feels like six months really but every six months feels like five years

see for me every wait no I got that every week feels like six minutes no no no no no no no let me I got it all wrong every week feels like

six months yeah but every six months feels like one day oh do you go what I'm saying like while you're in it while you're in it you're living in the moment yeah actually

everything's fucking like that so much is happening every day is just packed to the brim with information and contemplation just pack to the brim activities you know activities events

events so much so much and then you blink and it's sick Six months in the future. What the fuck? Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.

You look back. Oh shit. Eldon Ring came out 20 years ago. Eldon Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring. You know? Oh shit. I was four years old when I first played Mario Cut. I just called Ring Ring to say.

Oh fuck, Stevie Wonder. He's an old man. No. And a blind man. Okay. A blind man. I still think he's faking it. Yeah.

Everybody knows it. Everybody's thinking it. Do you know what I'm thinking, though? Mosquitoes, bro. I hate them. We hate them. Do you have lots of still water? No, I go around looking for still water so I can pour out their little legs and watch their little larva.

They're little... I eat larva. Larva islands going. Um Like On Monday I woke up And I put five bites

Only on my hands It could be fleas It's not bro It's not No because I took a picture of it And then quickly jumped onto Techbro.com And put a picture up and was like

AI master Um What type of bite is this? And it went I'm not a doctor But I can probably say that's a mosquito Really? Yeah

How? How the fuck did it know? Because it's, I don't know, it's just, just knows it. That's creepy. It can look into reality. That's how I found out about the fungus nets. Speaking of, look at my selection in front of you today.

I've never really shown off some of my, all of these are propagations. None of them are the originals. I'm, for those listering, I'm gesturing to Your pups The myriad pups on the table I've got a few different options here

My favourite's probably the The Ivy The NASA Certified Air Purifiers actually Can you smell it I actually can't smell shit Because I've had hay fever since we've had son Row

Rw Rutt Row I've been struggling to breathe through my nose every night. And then I use nasal snort. No, don't use that too much. I have been because then... No, stop. Then every day I blow my nose and it's just blood everywhere.

Like you're in an anime. Like I'm... Like I've got my pups. Like I'm about to get snapped up by worms in the... Yeah, I'm proud of my pups. Yeah. To keep my shits pure. These are my pups.

Oh yeah Yeah I don't need their pups Check out Prometheus on DVD today Yeah check out fucking bolt You know what I feel so Seen A little bit of a just topic shift

But I told you idiot Stupid man Why what's wrong with my pups? No nothing to do with your pups Lord of the Rings right Lord of the Rings yeah guess who

what's his name who directed them Saraman yeah Sauron Peter Sauron Peter Sauron Peter Sauron

Guess which one is his favourite Two Yeah Yeah but I knew that though Well I never denied that What do you mean Because I make me stupid

No because I That's my favourite one And because my favourite one Is the same as his favourite one I think it means I'm more right my favorite is better than your favorite is what I'm saying

you're challenging my knowledge on the behind the scenes footage no you really want to play I'm that fucking dumb um no because I remember in talking about that specifically about the two towers how as a director as a storyteller that middle section of the story is

innately challenging because it's like the second act yeah yeah isolated so you don't really get to have the establishing of the beginning or the conclusion of the end so you have to figure out a way to tell a story that's in the middle and make it feel satisfying how the fuck did he do that um because he did help he has like the best fantasy novels ever written sort of as a did you actually don't make me sitch my pups on you I'm gonna poison ovie on you

yeah you clearly haven't been playing dying light too no I haven't I don't give a shit about dying light and I don't give a shit about MarioCard I fucking hate MarioCut that's what you get

that was a stupid decision why To say that. Say what you will about dying life, but why the fuck did you bring Mario Kart into this? And also how can... Just when you would hurt your feeling. I'm not worried about my feelings. I'm very confident in where the Mario Kart stands.

Not stands. You're a Mario Kart stand. No, I mean, stand. Stand with a D. Stand. Like Mario Kart is a king. Is a gamer champion. Yeah.

what what you like Mario cut no I don't yes you do I don't give five shits about Mario how the fuck I'll say that proud now say it loud I don't give five shits about Mario card what do you mean when's the last time you played it I'll I'll break it down for you I don't give five shits about Mario cut when was the last time I played it I bought it on switch and was like yeah because you fucking suck at the the game. No, I was too good at it, where it was like, boring. No, not true, not true. Okay, let's go fucking play right now. See, then let's see. No, I sold my switch. Put it on my butt. I put, I, I snipped off the joy, the joylings, what are they

called? And I was like, what? And then on the screen it goes L, for the left joycon. Fong. Ah. Fong. I couldn't really fit the whole screen in there, so I had to break that up into other parts, fring, fring, fring. Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. I checked out a little while ago. Yeah, exactly. Okay, no, let's...

Okay, wait, okay, everyone who, um, who wants to have Jha turn into America channel, um, say Glipp. Yeah, and everyone who wants Jha to turn into a Five Nights at Freddy's channel No, that's not fair Comment Glop That's not fair

So it's Glipp versus Glop That's not fair This is kind of PlayStation versus Nintendo right now Just to reel it in a bit I haven't watched But I saw an upload But I haven't watched Although I've seen that there has been an upload

But I haven't watched it A trailer for Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Oh, the film, yeah, yeah. A teaser. Is that what it is? How can they do a sequel? With ease. The same way they did 58 sequels of games.

Yeah, but the games deserved it. The games had... The games deserved it. Yeah. There should still be more games. I want a fresh game. I want to be... I want like a Mario Kart track

in a five nights fnaff fucking Freddy's Peas. I'm surprised you can't play. Pizzeria. I don't want to play as them. I just want to drive through Frazbear's fuck. Fuckville. Yeah. Yeah, the pizzeria or whatever. The Chucky cheese. Do you think they're going to have thick fucking cheeked up chika? In the new Mario Cut? No, in Five Nights 2. Because in the original FNAF 2. Oh yeah, they kind of redesigned. Yeah, they redesigned Chika to get cheeked up. Triple Cheap. up. Why'd they do that? Um, because...

For the gooners. No, because the, the Scott Cawthorne, he's a right-wing fascist. What, do they like... Doesn't everyone like double-cheeked up? Um, double-cheeked up? Not when it's like a duck. Uh-huh. That's, um... I thought they were like humans shoved in. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't know, bro. I don't know, but, um...

The right wing is... I don't know the Mario Kart sucks. That's all I know. Why do you keep saying that? Why do you keep trying to move away from it? You're like, oh, let's just go to FNAF, so we stop talking about how bad... Well, no, no, because you keep bringing up, like, strands, and I'm having to fucking Sam Porter bridges, you know, bridge the fucking strands.

So, what, you want to stick on the Mario Kart thing for a minute, dude? Yeah, because I got facts. Okay. I can prove objectively that's bad. There's no skill involved. It's all luck-based. Shut up. You're wrong.

No, I'm not. Sorry, I just straw manned you. Yeah, exactly. No, go on, make it... Cyborg, mediate this. No. Do a voiceover for him. Boo-ya!

Thanks, Syb. Thanks. I'm white girl wasted right now, I'm gonna be honest. Okay, I don't care. Make your case. Why does Maricott suck? Because it doesn't have enough Mercedes product placements in it. There's two.

What? There's two. There's more than one. Even more patheticer. Yahoo! You can drive around as babies as if they'd have licenses, realistically.

Well, they don't need licenses. It's not a fucking car. It's not called Mario Car. You twat. There's Mario Car. Of why I think it's so lame and unfun. I'm a big boy with my gears. What the fuck you talk?

You driving a line. electric car no I don't it's not a Tesla it's not a Tesla to be fair you're not evil you're just stupid can you

go on make more cases stupid stupid dumb ugly bad character choices they don't even have the best characters for players such as

cows You can literally... Spiders? Is there a spider? Kind of. Who? There's a fucking, they put, they're a wiggler. They had a wiggler.

It's not a spider. It's not a spider. It's not even an arachnid. He's got six legs though. He's two away. That's not an arachnid. That's an insect. He's two away.

There's, there's king boo. So there is a ghost. Fine. You get one win out of all. of this debate. I was just watching the Nintendo direct going, Oh, oh, where is it? Where is it?

And I never got it. What, what? Where's what? What did he want? The only Nintendo thing I care about at all. What, the Smash thing? They've done Smash, they've finished it. And they added Minecraft Steve and they fucked it.

They ruined it. Yeah, so even they ruined that as well. ruin that as well you're right marri-car's better than smash are you you trying to piss me out there's no Minecraft Steve the no I'm biased because like I'm really you know I'm not claiming to be no shortcut but I'm pretty fucking good at Mario cut I'll be honest you know all the shortcuts No With the

I bought the DLC Really? Do you know how many tracks there are? Like in totality Yeah No 2468 16 16

times four Maybe more Like with the DLCs Yeah There's fucking loads But like I don't know What do you do you do?

do you like driving a circle i could do that in your life what no driving a circle three times ew i'm a baby no some of them aren't some of them you start like at the top of the mountain you go all the way down is it got nintendo wee rainbow road it does with the dlc they got moomy meadow up in there mummooh me me meadows they got mushroom gorge hold up they got mushroom gorge they got they got they got uh They got Cooper fucking What's it called? You know the water one And it goes down into the

Like tube underwater Uh huh Cooper Cape They got Cooper Cape Yeah Hold up maybe I've spoken to see Yeah I'm telling you And when when those

Oh what was the one They got they got Maple fucking Maple Freeway Is it It is called something like that Maple something way You're in the tree with the music. I remember. Oh, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got D.K. Mountain.

They got, uh, they got a snowy one. Man. Yeah, but the D.C. That's one premium fucking game. And you can customize your, can you put Mario in short shorts? Like they put peach in short shorts. Then I would take everything back. That's the new one. Yeah, I'm kind of shifting to the new one, I mean, where you can kind of sort of choose your outfits yeah i mean we can all hope hopefully um luigi and short shorts um i wouldn't do that to luigi personally why i don't know he's always giving me like uh like mormon vibes no not mormon what's the ones where they like don't use electric not sure you know when they turn the butter churning lots of butter

you'd they I don't know I'd been spending most my life living in Amish Amish the Amish That was a good way of remembering Thanks a weird owl

Yeah So I guess I take it back Rai Rickett Rack Rack Rario Rold Is that what it's called? Yeah I'm fucking hype

I'm genuinely hope. I saw a really good, um, edit of a, uh, you know, the scene from the last episode of season one of Invincible, um, where it was Bowser in Invincible's place and Mario in Mega Minds place. Um, and it was like the same scene, but they'd kind of reanimated it. Mm-hmm. And it was really good.

What was he saying? Instead of Nolan flying away at the end, he goes into a pipe. Hmm. What was he like saying? It's the same dialogue, you know, it's like, what will you have at the end of this? And Bowser says, I still have you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was good.

So, yeah, we're all pretty disappointed in the Switch 2, and we're pretty angry at Nintendo. Yeah. But Mario Kart's on the menu and I don't really like it. Chowning lots of butter. We'll see after these fucking messages without the Buffalo. B.I. Ophalo, B.I.O.O.O.B.I.O.B.I.A.B.A.B.A.B.B.A.B.B.A.B.B.B. Yeah. Dry media shirts. Now. Now. Or I'm going to hurt you. Description below. If it was Buffalo Meadows instead of Mooh Meadows, then maybe I'd be there.

Buffalo's Castle. Did you like the reference to the original iPhone? Yeah, like why does it say that original iPhone? It's just, it's written really fucking. weirdly it's very strange you gotta respect it though like that's that's artistic the buffalo

no like it's the buffalo is void of art but like I feel like the just the the nature your buffaloes are in nature

that's not my point but like the fact you put it out there. It's like but you were just willing to let that be seen. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Uh-huh. Yeah. That's just what it's all about, you know? It's artistic. Like, in a sense, it's kind of like a Banksy or something.

A social experiment. Yeah, it's like Banksy had just done a beautiful piece of art and on the way home, like, had the squit. Yeah. Like, it's still a Banksy. And, like, attacked a stranger. I guess welcome to the second half where we head over to the suggestion thread

over on the subreddit where we answer questions from anybody and everybody Everybody Need somebody To love But before that there's something I need to bring up Because it was just too weird Phantom Menace has become very important

today. When wasn't it? The first line of the, of the crawl in Phantom Menace reads as follows. Turmoy has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute. Isn't that crazy? Oh my God. He knew.

How did George know? we're gonna have a fucking man bray uh yeah I feel I feel like um is the world

becoming the Phantom Menace well I yeah he's Jarja when I mean it's characters like that that make me feel like I'm walking on eggshells because it's like I can't I can't make any other like

Like parallels with real life because it's like Who's the Trade Federation? Who's the Techno Union Army? Yeah. He goes deep. Yeah, who are the Gungans? The Nabuans.

The boobies. Yeah, the boobies. Are they the Canadians? You know? Yeah. Oh my god, um, if you got this far into the episode, comment, Billy B-like. Huh? How do you spell that?

The last bit. H-U-H. Huh? Huh? Um, who can, who can start us off here? Hmm. Oh, I quite like this one from a polonian thumus. Thumos.

Small as an ant, big as a bee. All will be answered by me. If you solve my riddles three. Ooh. I have five hands, but cannot grasp. Don't know? Clock. They don't have five hands.

No, think about every side of the hand. It hops and wallops, but is it... But is also a clam. Are? Oyster. New movie. Deadpool, three. Um, next time you give me riddles three, I kind of need answers for thee.

You didn't just AI them? Me? No, this was a Polonian. Well, yeah, but I mean you didn't just plug the riddles into AI to answer it. No, I didn't think about that because it wasn't like a mosquito bite. The first one actually kind of sounds like one. I have five hands but cannot grasp. It's clock. cannot grasp

um ten causes of weakness in hands and what to do I write with five fingers is this rare or am I just not normal the answer is a clock why that explain it there aren't five hands

are you being an idiot o'huh clock clock right Clock, clock, tick, tick. Do you get what I'm saying? Oh, it's quarter past four type shit, right? That's not quarter past four. Five.

Can't grass. No. So you need to comment again, but with the answers, please, because I'm getting a little bit confused. Give us answers four. Answers four. Stinky at the door. Riddles three, answers four, piece five. Barnacle Sama says Bebeer boys

I've been listening to the cast since before my GCSEs and I'll soon be starting a PhD in Pascal physics at Imperial College London JAR has been with me through thick and thin so I must express my thanks My question is this Assuming you have all the time resources and intellect required

What specific questions slash mystery slash topic Would you each like to study for a PhD For example my PhD investigates why we live in a matter-dominated universe as opposed to an antimatter-dominated universe. How do you know we don't live in an anti-matter-dominated universe? I guess that's what his thesis is all about. Or something. I'd like to learn. Full stop

Yeah My PhD is in learning Which actually is kind of valid Yeah It's like the most valid What would be an invalid An invalid PhD

I'm like already knowing I've got a PhD And just being cool Yeah I've got a PhD in already Like knowing I just got it on lock I've got a PhD in understanding already

I've got a PhD in listening to Joe Rogan podcasts Oh my god Yeah Fast track to minus IQ I don't know what Something to do of plants At the moment My PhD is in how to become

Poison Ivy The character The Batman character, yeah Hmm my PhD would be in creating Spider-Man's web I'm gonna be in

the formula of humor hmm that's really been done the essence of humor it's done who what Joe Rogan did it he's comedy assassins he found it

he found the comedy formula and we've just closed the book since then he's like dark side with that anti-life equation he's Joe Rogan with the comedy formula finally I've found it yeah so that would be boring because it can't be something that's already been solved

you know yeah even if he does keep it under locking key yeah he's got that big safe locked up tight yeah impenetrable fortress Geez. Yeah, so something's to a comedy, something to do with... Like, could you do like a PhD in like...

Orangeina? I mean, someone should. Because Orangina fucking sucks and it needs to be killed. PhD and why is Orangina so yummy? Orangina isn't. No one thinks that. What do you mean? No one likes orangina.

Who the fuck? the last time orangina existed orangina I don't know bro yeah I've not seen an orangina in so long can you get a PhD in like

something cool no no because like if I think if you're like a doctor of like doctor of gaming yeah doctor of Mario Kart

I've got a PhD in Mario cut. I mean there's certain things that having a PhD in just makes you a twat. Like what? If you have a PhD in fucking

like portrait art you're a dick. What's wrong with that? You're a fucking dick. Why? Because just do it, you twat. Do you know what I mean? You're just looking at it. You're just observing it. Well, no, it's like, so you've, you've written about it. Yeah. Okay.

Anal cis. I've got a PhD in anal cyst. Yeah. That's out of pocket, bro. Why do you hate people who analyze art? Um, because the, the PhD in theory wouldn't be a PhD in analyzing art. It would be a PhD. in

it's it's like like a PhD in music you know like the theory is is useful and vital but

like you can't you can't necessarily use that although you kind of can now with technology but do you know what I'm saying? I don't know what you're saying okay

whatever do you know what I mean no I don't know what you mean no what I got a PhD in punching hard well yeah like if you have a PhD in in fighting are you the best fighter probably not because you spent so much time fucking writing about it

I've got a PhD in Desperate Housewives I've got a PhD in prison brain I've got I just am a doctor I've watched house I can diagnose that's all you do anyway when you become a doctor is just they just watch house in a fucking hall yeah they

someone comes in says a bunch of complaints and they're like okay we'll get back to you with all these symptoms and then they just scan house to try and find one that lines up is that what like when you go to the doctor that's what's on their computer yeah

it's like the name of the episodes and that's why if there's not if it's not covered in an episode of House like, you're fucked. Yeah. I mean, genuinely. Iller Killer 666 says, thoughts on fentanyl?

The drug? Yeah. I mean, if it works for you, it doesn't. If it works for you in Minecraft. Is there fentanyl and Minecraft? Is it mod? Fentanyl mod for Minecraft.

Definitely. Um... And that'd be cool, like, uh, you know, in GTI Online, they've got the whole, like, selling drug system. If you could, like, build that into Minecraft, like, build... Yeah, get like a village, like, hooked. Get the villagers hooked on fentanyl. yeah that might happen in the Minecraft movie out it was out this this weekend just passed yeah I've got a rule where I will only watch that movie through a K-hole

it's the only way it's fucking watchable yeah apparently that's the party drug now really see there's there's certain drugs to me that's like like fentanyl well fend the wait sorry finish what you're saying well but it's it's just like there are better options you know like for what like like health oh yeah but I feel like

is that really what like party animals are concerned about um but I don't know I mean I've never tried fentanyl or I've never been on like a hard drug um But I thought fentanyl, like, people don't try to take fentanyl, do they?

It's mostly, like, cutting things. Right, yeah. I don't know, for sure. It's scary. It's a very scary one. Yeah, but it is used in medicine. So then if there is an industry for it, you know, like legally, then there's going to be an illegal industry for it, right? people just take it at like tiny quantity

yeah you're right approved by the food and drug administration for use as a pain relief and anesthetic yeah wow a hundred times more potent than morphine and 50 times more potent than heroin it's crazy when you see the amount that you can OD on it's like a less than a thimble

it just kills you yeah I'm just looking at this image here where it's like yeah yeah that's so wild that's terrifying yeah

but obviously if it's pain relief then people are going to use it to relieve pain of the soul pain of the soul you know that's what it comes down to

that's kind of what I mean though right where it's like if you're already abusing some people are just trying to escape you know yeah it's like an arms race

to the maximum feeling of being absent yeah whereas like the painkillers and things and depressants and things don't outside of abuse I guess doesn't really appeal to me as far as the like

I just want to be gone you know Um That doesn't really appeal to me Hmm But I guess it does for some Again, I feel like it's not something people It's not like a choice

You know, who would choose People pop like Xanax and stuff like that there Yeah, I feel like there's something And you're just zombie out Yeah, there's something more appealing To like popping a pill there right because then what injecting even smoking like it's less intrusive i guess if you can like drink or eat something i feel like uh people are more inclined to do it if you're injecting then it's like

you can snort these things you can yeah I don't know. I don't know. But often these addictions start from like prescription, right? I guess, yeah, it depends. Like if you're doing it in a party sense or a... Oh, I had some kind of injury and then I can't get my prescription anymore, so I need... Yeah, when you get like mega-indicted and then it's just like cut off.

yeah yeah I mean all this shit is way more complex than like a meme comment um yeah

let's um I don't know I thought this was kind of a fun way to wind down this one a bit of a normal a bit of a normal

bit of a urine what do you call it when it's like a rapid fire just drum you know when you're like dodging left and right but there's just so many and it's like vhm's matrix yeah like a matrix type thing um led by i kind of got at this earlier bottomless

spirit rising no spit rising oh i don't know bottomless pit rising Hello, creation creaners. Can you have a segment reading the Spotify comments? The Spotify jarlings are being neglected. You could call the segment the comment chemical cromance or something funnier if you can think of anything. What's chemical cromans? What the fuck's the chemical cromans? What the fuck is that?

Why did they say that? Why did they say that? Wait. Hold on. I'm going to ask Grock. Hey Grock. Hey Grock. No, don't use...

No, don't. I'm calling no one, I'm joking, I'm not, I'm just actually using Google. Good, because I was beginning to have the, the eruption of a panic attack. Um, Easy Car Care Cromance hybrid spray wax,

one litre. That's all I'm really getting. When's the last time you've been to the peninsula? Ah, too long. I hear that. Too long. Two minutes is too long. when was the last time you were at the peninsula when's the last time you went to the cloud

district I go to the cloud district every damn day that's where I'm going the second this end brother yeah fentanyl your way to the cloud district but I actually went over to Spotify and screenshot. Found some comments. I've got one and a two and a three and a four and a five and a six and a seven

to go through. One. One and a two and a three and a four and a five and a six and a seven. One. One. Keyon, I guess, said I think a Lex

needs to get out more. Ooh. A Lex, Alex. Alex. Yeah, Alexi, they're accusing you of being a bit too like Lex. Why, I'm not Lex? I don't believe in love for everybody. You need to. I need to what?

I'm not even going to say. You need to hold more hate in your heart. Yeah. Like the buffer. Hello. No, no, nothing. Nothing. Already failed it, it being like a speed round. Jack says, Cast went downhill after they stopped doing Scooby dialect.

Yeah. Rare. Row, rel. Rale. Rest. Oh, right, rest. Peter Peterson said It's an unfortunate last name

Anyone notice the stomach noise I didn't I really hate getting the stomach noise Why Because it always It always strikes at a time when it's quietest Like If I'm at a movie or something

There'll be a scene where everyone's really quiet And then they're like holding their brain Give me popcorn. Sorry, everybody. I'm just a little bit of hungry. I've just eating too much popcorn. Um, two, the next two are from Dell. The funky homo sapient.

No, just Dell. I find the thought of being alone empowering. Yeah, I know you're talking to me shit up. What? That's fucking creepy. the creepiest one yet. As creepy as their other one? I constantly ask my friends about

Piscost and the matter baby. Oh. Pie cost and the matter baby. Sounds like the new Harry Potter. Do you not know? Do you not know? Huh? I'm going to GROC. Don't make me go to GROC.

No, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. don't don't don't don't don't genuinely don't genuinely don't genuinely don't i i've got it ready no don't do you know about the matter baby no what's the pie cost well let's focus on one at time okay what's the matter baby oh nothing is that serious what Yeah, what's the matter baby? What's a matter baby? Oh, it's...

What's pie cost then? Um... Pie cost. Say that again? I constantly ask my friends about... No, no, no, no, no. Pie cost. No, the question.

What's pie cost? About a dollar 99. but why would anyone ask that what does pie cost because like the the prompts is it will be like an interview I've seen Tyler the creator being interviewed and they're like

who would win in a fight like Joe Rogan or a pie cost so then they say what's pie cost yeah they'll be like what's pie cost and then they're like a dollar 99 oh it's just like a

a shit joke Oh I see Well Now I feel like a dumb idiot who's stupid You're just uncultured Yeah I'll never deny Alex needs to get out more

True Um Jack Newman says Alex is going bonkers in real time Okay Yeah Well we're at six No that's more like five Five six um this one is from four months ago from battle pants

2025 will be the please please please year okay wrong no they're right you're wrong you're wrong they're right wrong it's not the please there's never going to be a please please year why do you want this do you want this there to be right do you want there to be release release release he wouldn't say that scooby wouldn't say that what would scooby say he'd say rees rees raise yeah he'd say rees give me some ruby racks doesn't say ruby racks he says snacks he doesn't say snacks he says renax he'd say ra rax wouldn't he Why would he say Rorax?

Snacks. Rags, Raggy. No. Relax Shaggy. No, snacks. Racks. Ruby Racks. Scooby Snacks.

Does he say Ruby Racks? He doesn't say Rukubi Ranax. Rikubi Ranax. He doesn't say that. Scooby-Doo is saying... Scooby Snacks. Scooby snacks. Ruby rags.

He definitely says Ruby Rags. In the Scooby-Doo universe, Scooby-Doo and Shaggy often used the phrase Scooby Snacks to refer to the fictional dog treats that Scooby loves. And Shaggy often uses them as a bargaining chip or reward. Would you do it for... Stop! I don't want a Jet 2 holiday. Nobody does. For a Scooby snack?

I'm going to need you to be the big. Oh, no. Wait. Looker Scoop. Is that? Two Scooby Snags? No. What?

Five Scooby snacks? Three. One. He just talks normally now. I was the impression. He just says everything with an hour at the beginning. He's never done that. He's like, how about he's done that?

He's just a normal guy. and snip around for that ghost Ro So he's just He just speaks normally What the fuck? I hate that normal.

I thought he said like what was with that whole thing last week then about the... Yeah. Okay. That's piss me off. Ruby Ruby roo. I guess Ruby Roo is a character.

Ruby do, sorry. Ruby do, yeah. Did somebody say Subi snacks? It's Friday. Yeah, because he's always said Scooby-Doo-Doo. yeah we do we do he doesn't say ruby doby

ruby ruby ruby roe I've just made up this whole thing yeah oh um well b r

doy had the last one of Spotify I got an ad on the podcast for the first time after hundreds of episodes why is there ads I'm paying for Spotify

premium what the heck lol got a text to speech ad for a dragon ball ball game that was so bad I thought it was putting us a joke yeah

if we did Rory Speaking of we finally have our first sponsor It's the Ruby Racks Yeah we got the Ruby Rack We got the Ruby Rax sponsor

So check out WWW to check out Ruby Rags every five minutes a little bit of poo was coming out what this whole episode yeah

are you just like your underwear is just full of pee yeah is poo funny Riz Roo Roney Robbie's Rhino? Rerina

What do you say Rarina? Rihina. Rinas Rurina. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love Skebe. I love Skib. Do your best Scooby-Doo laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

wah-wa-wa-wa-wa-ha Yeah Yeah I think we're done, guys This one's a bit shorter, I guess Yeah Ra Rui-Ri-Rid

Rish-Rik Ritz, Rinn Rahn Rair R-R-Rong-R-Rieke Rairi-Rong-R-Rey Rong-Ree Rory RAND Rair Rory Ratchelie Rory Rory Roh. Rott Roh Ron Roliday Rory Roo-oo-Hoo. Roo-oo-who.

Rare? roll Rell Rots Rive Rat Rorgian Rorindo Rof

Ruff Ruff Ravr Ravr Ravrary Rail Ratsen Ranser R Restrin

Rai Ront Rowe R Rott Rorrestron Riz Riz Riz

Riz Riz Ribity Riz Rippity Roylett Ribbiddy Roylet Ribbiddy Roylet Yeah

Thank you.